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AKU: Long ago, in a distant land,
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I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness,
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unleashed an unspeakable evil,
4
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but, a foolish samurai warrior
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wielding a magic sword
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stepped forth to oppose me.
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(SWORDS CLASHING)
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Before the final blow was struck,
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I tore open a portal in time,
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and flung him into the future,
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where my evil is law.
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Now, the fool seeks to return to the past
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and undo the future that is Aku.
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♪ Got to get back
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♪ Back to the past
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♪ Samurai Jack
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♪ Watch out!
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♪ Got to get back
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♪ Back to the past
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♪ Samurai Jack
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♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
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♪ Got get back
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♪ Back to the past
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♪ Samurai Jack
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♪ Watch out!
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♪ Got to get back
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♪ Back to the past
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♪ Samurai Jack
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♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
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♪ Got to get back
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♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
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♪ Watch out!
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♪ Got to get back
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♪ Jack, Jack, Jack
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♪ Samurai Jack
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♪ Watch, watch out! ♪
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Please, don't take my soul.
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JACK: Aku.
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You will not claim another innocent.
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Samurai Jack.
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My hero.
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Ow!
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(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
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I hate being Aku.
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I don't want to be him anymore.
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I want to be Jack.
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What?
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First of all,
I do the best Jack imitation.
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Do it again, Phil.
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Ahem.
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(IN JACK'S VOICE) Aku,
you will not claim another innocent.
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(REGULAR VOICE) And second,
you used to love being Aku.
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Yeah, that was before Jack came along.
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Now, everyone wants to play Jack
and destroy me.
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But you look just like him.
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Nuh-uh. It's just my hair.
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(IN JACK'S VOICE) No, Aku,
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your tricks will not
protect you this time.
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ALL: Yeah!
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ALL: Destroy Aku.
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(CHILDREN YELLING)
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For eons, I have terrorized this land.
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Every miserable creature trembled
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at the mere mention of my name.
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The pitiful people shrank
before my awesome power,
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but now, I am openly mocked
by these measly urchins.
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Tales of the samurai's heroics
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have spread through the world
like a virus,
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but I will cure the world
of this plague of hope.
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I will unleash such evil
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that even the most innocent soul
will be consumed by terror.
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We're not afraid of you anymore, Aku,
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no matter what you do.
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Hush!
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You cannot speak of Aku this way.
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(ALL LAUGHING)
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Insolent brats.
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Their elders still fear
and respect the almighty Aku.
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But this new generation...
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The seed of rebellion
has been planted in them
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by these tales of heroism.
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Well, if they respond to stories,
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I have a tale or two that will turn Aku
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into the hero of their young hearts.
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(STATIC SOUNDS)
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What's going on?
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Why have we been forced to come here?
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(SHIVERING)
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A tale must be told...
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A tale of epic proportions.
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I will take you to a universe far away,
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to a world of hunger,
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for the only one who ate
was a corrupt and evil beast,
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a devourer of worlds,
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who set his sight
on our defenseless sphere.
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But, a beloved and courageous hero
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arose to oppose the terrorizing beast.
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Mounted on his sled
with eight tiny reindeer,
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he flew into battle
against the cosmic scourge.
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Then, the great warrior focused
all his power into his spear of truth,
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and he hurled it with all his might.
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The spear struck the beast,
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transforming him into...
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beef jerky.
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The great warrior was victorious,
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and the people feasted
on the spoils of his conquest
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and never went hungry again.
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"Who shall we thank
for this heroic feat?", the people asked.
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The warrior removed his helmet
to reveal himself.
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It was none other than I, Aku.
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And so, the people bowed down
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and made the great warrior their king.
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That is the story of how I came to be.
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Hmm...
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Perhaps my story is too complex
for these young minds.
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A story of the purest
simplicity must be told.
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Yes, fairy tales are simple,
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but the heroes within are legendary.
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Little Red Riding Hood.
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"Once upon a time,
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"there was a little girl
who was loved by all."
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Hmm...
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Yes, I am familiar with this one.
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AKU: Once upon a time,
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there was a little girl
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with an adorable red cape and...
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great flaming eyebrows
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who was beloved by all,
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and so, the people affectionately
named her Little Red Hood.
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One day, Little Red Hood was on her way
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to her grandmother's house.
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My poor grandmama is of delicate health,
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so, I am delivering to her
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a picnic basket of confectionery treats.
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Did someone say
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picnic basket filled with
delicious confectionery treats?
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AKU: And so, the mean wolf took a shortcut
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and arrived at Grandmother's house
before Little Red Hood.
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(KNOCK AT DOOR)
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Who's there?
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Howdy ho, Grandma.
It's me, the wolf.
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Oh, my.
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Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm petrifying.
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Now, enough with the chit-chat.
In you go.
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AKU: How horrible.
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Little Red Hood
approached Grandma's house,
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unaware of what awaits her within.
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(KNOCK AT DOOR)
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Who's there?
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Hey, hey, keep it down in there.
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Ahem.
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Come in, my child.
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(DOOR OPENS)
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Hey, there, Red.
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How about giving me
some of those confectionery treats?
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My, Grandma, what big eyes you have.
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Yeah, yeah. Big eyes, big teeth,
and a big appetite.
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AKU: The wolf attacked Little Red Hood,
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not knowing that Little Red Hood
had laser eye beams,
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great combat skills,
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and a powerful uppercut
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that freed Little Red's grandmother
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from the evil bowels of the wolf.
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Mmm! Confectionery treats.
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AKU: And so, Little Red Hood
was victorious.
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Do not be afraid, children.
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Show your joy.
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Do you not like the tales of Aku?
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Speak!
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Yes, child?
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Share your thoughts on the tales of Aku.
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Well, the stories were told very well.
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Yes?
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But I think we would like to hear
a story about...
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Samurai Jack.
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What?
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(GROWLS)
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So be it.
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Pay attention, children,
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for you are about to hear the story of...
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Jack and the three bears.
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AKU: Once upon a time,
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there were three bears who lived together
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in a house of wood.
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One was a little wee bear,
186
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one was a middle-sized bear,
187
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and the other was a great huge bear.
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I made us some porridge, comrades,
189
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but, alas, it is too hot.
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That's okay, brother.
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We can go for a walk in the woods
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while it cools off.
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Oh, yummy porridge.
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(ALL LAUGHING)
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AKU: And while they were out,
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a wicked samurai came to the house.
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He was not a good samurai.
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He was an impudent, bad old samurai.
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SAMURAI: Oh, yeah.
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Porridge.
201
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AKU: And so, the wicked samurai
began to eat.
202
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,486
It did not matter to him
203
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:25,491
if the porridge was too hot,
too cold, or just right.
204
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He ate it all.
205
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,958
Oh, yeah. Yum.
(LAUGHS)
206
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:40,464
AKU: And then, he set off
to destroy the three bears' house.
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00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,605
(SWORD CLANGING)
208
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,587
(BANGING AND CRASHING)
209
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:25,092
(DOORKNOB RATTLING)
210
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When the three bears returned,
211
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:32,099
complete destruction awaited them.
212
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,483
(GASPS)
213
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,068
Someone's been eating my porridge.
214
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,279
Someone's been messing with my books.
215
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,531
Someone's been wearing my clothes.
216
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ALL: Someone wrecked our whole house.
217
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,828
And there he is.
218
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,413
Sleeping in my bed.
219
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:57,708
Shut up! I'm trying to sleep.
220
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:02,754
CHILD: Um, sir? Aku?
221
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:07,926
Yes, child? Why do you interrupt Aku?
222
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:13,557
Well, the thing is, Jack wouldn't do that.
223
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,809
Oh, you know him?
224
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,854
No, but...
225
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:24,485
Very well.
Perhaps, I exaggerated a little.
226
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:30,574
But this next story is true
to its uttermost detail.
227
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,869
Once upon a time, there was a house
228
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,414
built from straw, wood and brick,
229
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:43,879
where three innocent little pigs
230
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,256
happily made their residence.
231
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:49,384
Until there was a knock at the door.
232
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,469
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
233
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It was big, bad Jack.
234
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,060
Little pig, little pig,
235
00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,895
open up and let me in!
236
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,649
ALL: Not by the hairs of
our chinny chin chins.
237
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,610
Then I'll huff and I'll puff
238
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,903
and I'm coming in.
239
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:09,988
(SWORD CLANGING)
240
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,491
(SCREAMING)
241
00:17:15,244 --> 00:17:16,912
Here's Jackie.
242
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,456
CHILD: Aku? Sir?
243
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,251
Yes, girl-child?
244
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:23,585
(WHIMPERS)
245
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,045
I'm scared.
246
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:29,216
Good. The samurai is scary.
247
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,343
But Jack would never do such a...
248
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:32,511
Silence!
249
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:37,599
I will continue with yet another tale.
250
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,647
The story of poor little Cinderella
251
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:46,483
and her evil stepmother Jacqueline
252
00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:51,530
and her two wicked stepsisters
Jackie and Jacqella.
253
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,448
Scrub that floor.
254
00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,075
- Wash those dishes.
- Make me dinner.
255
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,995
- BOY: But Jack is a man.
- AKU: Very well!
256
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,664
AKU: There once was a house made of candy,
257
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:04,334
but a giant samurai came and smashed it.
258
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:08,046
Fo fee fi fo fum. Guess my name.
259
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:12,092
BOY: But, those are
three different stories.
260
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,844
AKU: With great endings.
261
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,679
And so, the samurai prince
262
00:18:15,846 --> 00:18:19,474
finally found the magic frog
and kissed him,
263
00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:23,770
enraging the frog,
who then ate the samurai prince.
264
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,565
CHILD: But wasn't Jack just a giant?
265
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:29,818
AKU: Yes, and he fell off the beanstalk.
266
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:32,738
- GIRL: But he wasn't on a beanstalk.
- AKU: You are correct.
267
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,407
AKU: He was searching for his lost sheep,
268
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,117
who stampeded over him.
269
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,453
BOY: That's not how the story goes.
270
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,579
AKU: Yes, it does!
271
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,665
After barely surviving the sheep stampede,
272
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,669
a cat in giant boots came along
and kicked the samurai.
273
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:48,879
PHIL: What?
274
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,339
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.
275
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,090
(NEIGHS)
276
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,679
(SQUEAKING)
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00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,992
GIRL: What's happening?
278
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,160
Enough.
279
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,995
Here is the truest tale of all.
280
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,248
There was an almighty, all-powerful wizard
281
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,168
and there was a pathetic little samurai,
282
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,129
and the wizard destroyed him.
283
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,048
(EXPLOSIONS)
284
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:34,716
The end.
285
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:42,057
No, that's not how it would happen.
286
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,183
Yeah.
287
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:45,769
First, it would be a misty night.
288
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:48,605
BOY 1: And, Jack would be
climbing a huge castle.
289
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,274
BOY 2: But not before he defeated
290
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,735
its eight foot, six-armed mutant guard.
291
00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:58,323
(GROWLING)
292
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:07,916
BOY 3: Yeah.
293
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,460
Then he will be climbing
all battle damaged.
294
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:11,920
GIRL: With his hair all messed up.
295
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,588
BOY 43 With his sword in his teeth.
296
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:14,840
(GROWLING)
297
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,092
BOY 2: Yeah.
298
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,428
And as Jack reaches the top of the castle,
299
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:22,472
Aku would creepily creep out
from the shadows.
300
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,142
BOY 1: But Jack can smell
his terrible stench.
301
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,269
- BOY 3: And then they fight.
- BOY 2: Not yet.
302
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,396
BOY 2: First, they would
stare each other down.
303
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,114
- BOY 3: And then, they fight.
- BOY 2: No, not yet.
304
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:40,782
BOY 1: Jack would first say,
305
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:43,702
"You have plagued the land
with your evil long enough.
306
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,370
Prepare to meet your doom."
307
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:46,913
BOY 3: And then they fight.
308
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,290
BOY 2: No, not yet.
309
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:49,833
GIRL: Because Aku would answer,
310
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,419
"You are a truly powerful samurai,
311
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:55,130
but no match for my evil wizardry."
312
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,801
BOY 3: Now?
313
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:00,886
GIRL: Now.
314
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,679
BOY 3: And then, they fight!
315
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,682
GIRL: Aku quickly turns into a huge, uh...
316
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:06,892
BOY 3: ...dragon-like creature.
317
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,103
GIRL: But he's no match
for Jack's samurai skills.
318
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,610
And with one mighty blow...
319
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:19,404
(CLANGS)
320
00:21:22,783 --> 00:21:24,409
...Jack destroys Aku.
321
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,998
BOY 2: Then he would
sheath his sword all cool-style
322
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:31,082
and say,
323
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,667
BOY 1: "My quest has ended.
324
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:35,212
"I will now travel back to my own time
325
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:38,173
and undo the evil that Aku has done."
326
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,217
CHILDREN; The end.
327
00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:41,968
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
328
00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:50,894
♪ Watch out!
329
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,020
♪ Got to get back
330
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:53,230
♪ Back to the past
331
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,356
♪ Samurai Jack
332
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:55,857
♪ Jack, Jack, Jack ♪
333
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,488
♪ Got to get back
334
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,572
♪ Back to the past
335
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:03,865
♪ Samurai Jack
336
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,158
♪ Watch out!
337
00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,284
♪ Got to get back
338
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,369
♪ Back to the past
339
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:08,578
♪ Samurai Jack
340
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:09,996
♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
341
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,122
♪ Got to get back
342
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,290
♪ Back to the past
343
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,542
♪ Samurai Jack
344
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,126
♪ Watch out!
345
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,881
♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack
346
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:24,594
♪ Watch out!
347
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:25,679
♪ Got to get back
348
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:27,222
♪ Jack, Jack, Jack
349
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,306
♪ Samurai Jack
350
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,766
♪ Watch out! ♪