( music playing )
from Beethoven's 5th Symphony ) ( piano plays opening bars
Beethoven's 5th ) ( continues playing
- ♪ Dah! ♪ - ( cat screeches )
( continues "playing" )
over and over ) ( repeating same phrase
( record stuck )
( stammering )
Ohh! ( grumbles )
( phrase keeps repeating )
( music stops )
( blows )
( sighs deeply )
( muttering )
Hmm.
Oh, this is it.
( muttering )
Come on.
( bell dings )
MAN: I'm looking
for a new instrument.
May I recommend...
this one.
No, I don't like modern.
I tried.
Oh, horrible! ( plays "Fur Elise" )
- Now, now, now. - Horrible!
I insist
that you try it properly.
Let me, uh, help you.
No, no, no, no.
No? I insist.
Oh!
- Ready... - Ah...
...ah-choo!!!
There we are. Go!
♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪
MR. BEAN: Aah. Mwah!
( laughs )
♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪
with melody ) ( singing along
Bravo. Bravo!
- What? - ( Mr. Bean playing maracas )
rhythmic sounds ) ( Mr. Bean making
Whoo! ♪ Cha, cha-cha-cha! ♪
CLERK: Ah-ah-ahem!
- Do you mind? - Hmm?
( sniffs ) Ohh!
Now, where were we?
You want to try something... Oh, yes, sir.
( muttering )
- No, no, no. - You'll love this.
You see, it's recorded
what you played.
- ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪ - Oh!
That is clever, ja.
Fifty pounds?
Aah. 150 quids, eh?
- That's-- - ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪
- What is this? - Ooh!
- Right! - ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪
Do you mind?!
Ooh!
( muttering ) What the...
- Oh, you've got it now, sir. - ♪ ("Fur Elise" )♪
That's marvelous. Oh!
- ( drum set bashing ) - ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪
Grrr! You there! CLERK:
You there!
- ( drums continue ) - Oh!
- MAN: Stop that man! - Oh, noooo!
- Oh. - MR. BEAN: Aah.
( groans )
Now-- No, no, no. No, no!
- No, no. No! - Please, sir.
I think I've got
just the thing.
( fanfare plays )
Ahaaaaaa!
That's more like it.
Oh...oh!
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
♪ ( continues ) ♪
Huh?
( gasps )
- Oh! - ♪♪
- Oh... ♪ ( piano continues ) ♪
♪♪
- Ja, ja. - Bravo!
- I'll take it.
( clerk giggles )
Checks? Oh, yes.
- ( chatter ) - ( Mr. Bean gasping )
Oh. Oh!
Oh. Ah!
( mumbling )
Let me see.
- Excuse me. - ♪ ( plays C major scale ) ♪
That is sold.
- CLERK: Where were we? - MAN: Hello? Hello?
- ♪♪ ( scale ) - Here we are.
- What is that? - ( muffled note on piano )
- What? Oh, no. Oh, no. - What--?
Ohh, no!
- ( clerk growling ) ( Mr. Bean makes noises )
- You see? - ( muffled note on piano )
You are a charlatan!
- Oh, no! - You...
( mumbling )
Hmm.
Oh, cash!
Well, perhaps we could come
to some arrangement.
( beep )
♪ ( "Moonlight Sonata" ) ♪
- Tut-tut-tut! - Yes, very happy to take--
♪ ( muffled note ) ♪
- Hmm? - Well--
All right.
Thank you.
- MAN: What? - Tut-tut-tut!
( Mr. Bean mumbles )
I suppose
we could throw it in.
Thank you.
- Tut-tut-tut! - All right.
- And that. - What now?
Oh, the candelabra! Ohh!
( mumbling )
Right.
Yes. Thank you.
Very good.
( whining ) Oh--
( beep )
Ooh! You like that, do you? CLERK:
Oh!
Hmm!
( indistinct chatter )
( sighs )
( muttering)
( key rattling in lock )
- Where do you want it? - Ohh! ( groans )
Oh!
Come on. Come on.
( men groaning )
( Mrs. Wicket muttering )
- ( men panting ) - ( piano thuds to floor )
MR. BEAN: Hmm.
Try it over here.
- ( both straining ) - Okay, okay. Over there.
MAN: Here we go, then.
Oh, dear.
Hmm. Hmm.
Try--Try there.
( both grunting )
( piano strings ring out )
( mumbling )...over there.
Ohhhhh, no!
( grunting )
( metal clanks )
That's it! That's right! MR. BEAN:
- Right! - Right back where we started!
I've had enough. That is it!
Aah.
Ah.
( Mr. Bean laughing )
♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪
♪ ( muffled note ) ♪
( chuckles )
( muttering )
( grunting )
♪ ( dissonant chord ) ♪
Oh! ( laughing, muttering )
♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪
( cracks knuckles ) ( giggling )
Oh...
♪ ( repeats one note ) ♪
( laughing, muttering )
of Beethoven's 5th ) ♪ ♪ ( opening theme
Ah!
♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪
♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪
♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪ Ohh!
- Oh, darn it! - ♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪
♪ ( playing faster ) ♪
- ( pounding on keyboard ) - ( angry yelling )
- ( Mrs. wicket muttering ) - ( noise continues )
( angry muttering )
( Mrs. Wicket shouting )
( wheezing, coughing )
( stammers ) MRS. WICKET: Now--
♪ ( playing "Gymnopedies" ) ♪
Aaah. Oh.
Oh, lovely.
- ( recorded applause ) - Oh...
Eh? Grr!
- ( gasps ) - ( applause continues )
- What?! - ( applause stops )
( mumbling )
( Mrs. Wicket scoffs )
( exhales )
Right.
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
- Oh, damn it all! - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪
All right...
( muttering )
Yes...
Ah! There it is.
- Ah. Oh-- ( doorbell rings )
- Ah. - Good morning. I-- Ohh!
BOTH: It's you!
Come on in.
Here we are.
Oh!
( both mumbling )
- ( knuckles crack ) - Yes. Play for me, then.
Right.
- Good. - ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
plays wrong note ) ♪ ♪ ( continues;
TEACHER: No, no,
you make a mistake.
But I show you.
See? ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
- Good. - ♪♪
- ( angry muttering ) - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪
- Nooo!!! - Arrgghh!
Ohh...
♪♪
- ♪♪ Listen.
This is the note. This is the note.
- Ja. - ♪♪
Go on. Go on.
- Oh, no, that is all wrong! - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪
- ( whimpering ) All wrong! Wrong.
Listen.
I have an idea.
Thank you.
Bye.
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
continues ) ♪ ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th
♪ ( ending chords ) ♪
♪ ( ending chords repeat ) ♪
- ( recorded applause ) - ( beep )
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh! Mwah!
- ( recorded applause ) - ( beep )
( door opens )
- ( gasps ) - Mr. Bean!
Oh. Ah...
- For me? - For you.
( applause continues )
( Mrs. Wicket, indistinct )
( music playing )
MR. BEAN: Ohh.