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( music playing )

2
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from Beethoven's 5th Symphony )
( piano plays opening bars

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Beethoven's 5th )
( continues playing

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- ♪ Dah! ♪
- ( cat screeches )

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( continues "playing" )

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over and over )
( repeating same phrase

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( record stuck )

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( stammering )

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Ohh! ( grumbles )

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( phrase keeps repeating )

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( music stops )

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( blows )

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( sighs deeply )

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( muttering )

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Hmm.

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Oh, this is it.

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( muttering )

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Come on.

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( bell dings )

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MAN: I'm looking

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for a new instrument.

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May I recommend...

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this one.

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No, I don't like modern.

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I tried.

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Oh, horrible!
( plays "Fur Elise" )

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- Now, now, now.
- Horrible!

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I insist

29
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that you try it properly.

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Let me, uh, help you.

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No, no, no, no.

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No? I insist.

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Oh!

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- Ready...
- Ah...

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...ah-choo!!!

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There we are. Go!

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♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪

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MR. BEAN: Aah. Mwah!

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( laughs )

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♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪

41
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with melody )
( singing along

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Bravo. Bravo!

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- What?
- ( Mr. Bean playing maracas )

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rhythmic sounds )
( Mr. Bean making

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Whoo!
♪ Cha, cha-cha-cha! ♪

46
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CLERK: Ah-ah-ahem!

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- Do you mind?
- Hmm?

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( sniffs ) Ohh!

49
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Now, where were we?

50
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You want to try something...
Oh, yes, sir.

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( muttering )

52
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- No, no, no.
- You'll love this.

53
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You see, it's recorded

54
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what you played.

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- ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪
- Oh!

56
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That is clever, ja.

57
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Fifty pounds?

58
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Aah. 150 quids, eh?

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- That's--
- ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪

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- What is this?
- Ooh!

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- Right!
- ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪

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Do you mind?!

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Ooh!

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( muttering )
What the...

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- Oh, you've got it now, sir.
- ♪ ("Fur Elise" )♪

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That's marvelous. Oh!

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- ( drum set bashing )
- ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪

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Grrr! You there!
CLERK:

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You there!

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- ( drums continue )
- Oh!

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- MAN: Stop that man!
- Oh, noooo!

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- Oh.
- MR. BEAN: Aah.

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( groans )

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Now-- No, no, no. No, no!

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- No, no. No!
- Please, sir.

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I think I've got

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just the thing.

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( fanfare plays )

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Ahaaaaaa!

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That's more like it.

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Oh...oh!

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♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

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♪ ( continues ) ♪

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Huh?

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( gasps )

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- Oh!
- ♪♪

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- Oh...
♪ ( piano continues ) ♪

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♪♪

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- Ja, ja.
- Bravo!

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- Bravo!
- I'll take it.

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( clerk giggles )

92
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Checks? Oh, yes.

93
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- ( chatter )
- ( Mr. Bean gasping )

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Oh. Oh!

95
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Oh. Ah!

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( mumbling )

97
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Let me see.

98
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- Excuse me.
- ♪ ( plays C major scale ) ♪

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That is sold.

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- CLERK: Where were we?
- MAN: Hello? Hello?

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- ♪♪ ( scale )
- Here we are.

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- What is that?
- ( muffled note on piano )

103
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- What? Oh, no. Oh, no.
- What--?

104
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Ohh, no!

105
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- ( clerk growling )
( Mr. Bean makes noises )

106
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- You see?
- ( muffled note on piano )

107
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You are a charlatan!

108
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- Oh, no!
- You...

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( mumbling )

110
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Hmm.

111
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Hmm.

112
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Oh, cash!

113
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Well, perhaps we could come

114
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to some arrangement.

115
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( beep )

116
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♪ ( "Moonlight Sonata" ) ♪

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- Tut-tut-tut!
- Yes, very happy to take--

118
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♪ ( muffled note ) ♪

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- Hmm?
- Well--

120
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All right.

121
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Thank you.

122
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- MAN: What?
- Tut-tut-tut!

123
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( Mr. Bean mumbles )

124
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I suppose

125
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we could throw it in.

126
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Thank you.

127
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- Tut-tut-tut!
- All right.

128
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- And that.
- What now?

129
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Oh, the candelabra! Ohh!

130
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( mumbling )

131
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Right.

132
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Yes. Thank you.

133
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Very good.

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( whining ) Oh--

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( beep )

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Ooh! You like that, do you?
CLERK:

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Oh!

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Hmm!

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( indistinct chatter )

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( sighs )

141
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( muttering)

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( key rattling in lock )

143
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- Where do you want it?
- Ohh! ( groans )

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Oh!

145
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Come on. Come on.

146
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( men groaning )

147
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( Mrs. Wicket muttering )

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- ( men panting )
- ( piano thuds to floor )

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MR. BEAN: Hmm.

150
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Try it over here.

151
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- ( both straining )
- Okay, okay. Over there.

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MAN: Here we go, then.

153
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Oh, dear.

154
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Hmm. Hmm.

155
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Try--Try there.

156
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( both grunting )

157
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( piano strings ring out )

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( mumbling )...over there.

159
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Ohhhhh, no!

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( grunting )

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( metal clanks )

162
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That's it! That's right!
MR. BEAN:

163
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- Right!
- Right back where we started!

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I've had enough.
That is it!

165
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Aah.

166
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Ah.

167
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( Mr. Bean laughing )

168
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♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪

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♪ ( muffled note ) ♪

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( chuckles )

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( muttering )

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( grunting )

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♪ ( dissonant chord ) ♪

174
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Oh! ( laughing, muttering )

175
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♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪

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( cracks knuckles )
( giggling )

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Oh...

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♪ ( repeats one note ) ♪

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( laughing, muttering )

180
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of Beethoven's 5th ) ♪
♪ ( opening theme

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Ah!

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♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪

183
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♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪

184
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♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪
Ohh!

185
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- Oh, darn it!
- ♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪

186
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♪ ( playing faster ) ♪

187
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- ( pounding on keyboard )
- ( angry yelling )

188
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- ( Mrs. wicket muttering )
- ( noise continues )

189
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( angry muttering )

190
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( Mrs. Wicket shouting )

191
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( wheezing, coughing )

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( stammers )
MRS. WICKET: Now--

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♪ ( playing "Gymnopedies" ) ♪

194
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Aaah. Oh.

195
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Oh, lovely.

196
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- ( recorded applause )
- Oh...

197
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Eh? Grr!

198
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- ( gasps )
- ( applause continues )

199
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- What?!
- ( applause stops )

200
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( mumbling )

201
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( Mrs. Wicket scoffs )

202
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( exhales )

203
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Right.

204
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♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

205
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- Oh, damn it all!
- ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

206
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All right...

207
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( muttering )

208
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Yes...

209
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Ah! There it is.

210
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- Ah. Oh--
( doorbell rings )

211
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- Ah.
- Good morning. I-- Ohh!

212
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BOTH: It's you!

213
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Come on in.

214
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Here we are.

215
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Oh!

216
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,840
( both mumbling )

217
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,200
- ( knuckles crack )
- Yes. Play for me, then.

218
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Right.

219
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,080
- Good.
- ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

220
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plays wrong note ) ♪
♪ ( continues;

221
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,160
TEACHER: No, no,

222
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,120
you make a mistake.

223
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,720
But I show you.

224
00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,400
See?
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

225
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,080
- Good.
- ♪♪

226
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:07,120
- ( angry muttering )
- ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

227
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,920
- Nooo!!!
- Arrgghh!

228
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,160
Ohh...

229
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,680
♪♪

230
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,800
- ♪♪
Listen.

231
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,520
This is the note.
This is the note.

232
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,280
- Ja.
- ♪♪

233
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,160
Go on. Go on.

234
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,040
- Oh, no, that is all wrong!
- ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

235
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,960
- ( whimpering )
All wrong! Wrong.

236
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,000
Listen.

237
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,040
I have an idea.

238
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,280
Thank you.

239
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,480
Bye.

240
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,240
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

241
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,360
continues ) ♪
♪ ( Beethoven's 5th

242
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,960
♪ ( ending chords ) ♪

243
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:10,920
♪ ( ending chords repeat ) ♪

244
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,600
- ( recorded applause )
- ( beep )

245
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,920
Thank you. Thank you.

246
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,400
Oh! Mwah!

247
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,120
- ( recorded applause )
- ( beep )

248
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,320
( door opens )

249
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,040
- ( gasps )
- Mr. Bean!

250
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,240
Oh. Ah...

251
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,320
- For me?
- For you.

252
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,840
( applause continues )

253
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,960
( Mrs. Wicket, indistinct )

254
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,360
( music playing )

255
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,280
MR. BEAN: Ohh.