1 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,610 GIRL: Everybody asks why I started at the end 2 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,147 and worked back to the beginning. 3 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,548 The reason is simple. 4 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,950 I couldn't understand the beginning 5 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,153 until I'd reached the end. 6 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,491 There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing. 7 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:33,761 Too much she would never tell. 8 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:40,234 I could sell these things. People want to buy them. 9 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,236 But I'd set all this on fire first. 10 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,238 She'd like that. 11 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,307 That's what she would do. 12 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:49,343 She'd make it just to burn it. 13 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,413 I couldn't afford this one, 14 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,048 but the beginning deserves something special. 15 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,085 But how do I show that nothing, 16 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:01,255 not a taste, not a smell, 17 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,357 not even the color of the sky 18 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,526 has ever been as clear and sharp 19 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,396 as it was when I belonged to her. 20 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,531 I don't know how to express 21 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,934 that being with someone so dangerous 22 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:17,338 was the last time that I felt safe. 23 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,744 The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert that fall. 24 00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:01,549 Only the oleanders thrived. 25 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,721 Maybe the wind was the reason my mother did what she did. 26 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,190 If it was, I wouldn't have known. 27 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,261 I lived in her shadow then. 28 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,329 She was 29 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,632 the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. 30 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,735 I know everybody thinks that when they're small, 31 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,371 but she was the most beautiful woman 32 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,974 most people had ever seen. 33 00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:31,245 He came into our lives without warning. 34 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,614 She ignored him at first. 35 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,982 He wasn't her type. 36 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:38,886 We laughed about him, his persistence. 37 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,355 "Never let a man spend the night," 38 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,756 she said. 39 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,958 "Never apologize, never explain." 40 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,796 She was breaking all her rules... 41 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:52,433 and it would change everything. 42 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,241 What are you doing up here? 43 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,711 Come sit next to me. 44 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:08,416 It's the best place to feel the wind. 45 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,519 I can feel it from here. 46 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,821 No, you can't. 47 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:20,494 It's okay. 48 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,000 You should get some sleep. 49 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,002 I never sleep. 50 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,538 I've been up here for hours. 51 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,540 I had the most amazing idea 52 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:36,410 for how to use my Polaroids in the Newport show. 53 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,546 I'm going to skip work today. 54 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,382 Keep going until I finish. 55 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,417 You're still coming to Parents' Night, 56 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,018 aren't you? 57 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,020 Oh, God, I forgot. 58 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:53,561 I made plans to go to Greta's opening. 59 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,963 All the other parents go. 60 00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:00,300 What can they tell me about you that I don't know already know? 61 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,704 Time is up! Pencils down. 62 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:07,408 Papers, please. Thank you. 63 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,043 Thank you. 64 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,713 Time, Astrid. 65 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,418 Is your mother coming tonight? 66 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,053 No. 67 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,589 She has other plans. 68 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,157 More important than Parents' Night? 69 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,659 She's an artist. 70 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,096 She doesn't care about things like Parents' Night. 71 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,931 Right. 72 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:36,069 Don't forget, you guys, chapters 17 and 18 for tomorrow. 73 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,171 Finished my mug shots. 74 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,474 What do you think? 75 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,043 They're great. 76 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,012 No. 77 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,514 You're not looking. 78 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:49,550 You can't be an artist if you don't see. 79 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,685 Why do you think they're great? 80 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,629 I don't know. 81 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,833 They're lonely. 82 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,272 It's me in the center. 83 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,107 It's our secret. 84 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,843 You can't tell anybody. 85 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,377 I won't. 86 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:21,114 I never tell our secrets. 87 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,319 WOMAN: It's the deer-in- the-headlights look. 88 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,621 It's hilarious. 89 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,389 MAN: How long has this been going on? 90 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,791 Couple months. 91 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,527 His wife will figure it out sooner or later. 92 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,429 Ah, she's an idiot. 93 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,398 Cinema Scene. 94 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,135 It's Barry Kolker again. 95 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,207 Tell him I was killed 96 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,644 in a climbing accident in the Himalayas. 97 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,714 Barry, she's still out of town. 98 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,298 We don't have any eggs. 99 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:14,768 We never have any eggs. 100 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:23,176 Barry can take us out to breakfast. 101 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,178 Barry spent the night? 102 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,447 Yeah. 103 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,129 I bet he's still out of town on that assignment. 104 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,497 I called the magazine. 105 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,900 He got back three days ago. 106 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,769 Well, he's probably working. 107 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,336 He doesn't call when he works. 108 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,805 He doesn't call 109 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,974 when he's getting what he wants from somebody else. 110 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,396 I don't think we should do this. 111 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,198 He'll get mad. 112 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,466 I'll just say we were in the neighborhood. 113 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:57,270 He won't believe us. 114 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,789 You're not my type. 115 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,698 You're not my type. 116 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,278 What happened? 117 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,781 He has a date. 118 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:52,385 He made love to me and then said I had to leave 119 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,654 because he has a date. 120 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,404 You're under arrest for the murder of Barry Kolker. 121 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,040 They can't keep me! 122 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,675 I'll be back in an hour! 123 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,042 You must be Astrid? 124 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,111 I'm Miss Martinez 125 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,412 from Children's Services. 126 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,713 I'm here to pick you up. 127 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,415 If you need more time to pack, 128 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,418 I can give you 15 minutes, but that's it. 129 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,552 I'm not going anywhere. 130 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,288 I'm waiting for my mother to come home. 131 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,825 Your mother won't be coming home... 132 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,994 at least not for a while. 133 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,985 In accordance with the laws of the state of California, 134 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:35,222 I sentence you to the term prescribed by law 135 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,658 for murder in the first degree. 136 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,962 Not less than 35 years to life in a maximum security prison. 137 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,616 Hello, Starr. How are you? 138 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,351 I'm fine! 139 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,787 How are you? 140 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:41,654 Good to see you. 141 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,356 Good to see you. 142 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,225 But y'all must be starving after that long drive. 143 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,426 I hope you like olive loaf, 144 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:49,462 because I made enough to feed an army. 145 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:50,597 How was the traffic? 146 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,965 It was bad downtown, 147 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,501 but it cleared up pretty fast. Astrid? 148 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,503 There you go. 149 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,873 Astrid Magnussen, this is Starr Thomas. 150 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:02,575 It is so nice to meet you, Astrid. 151 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,576 Come on in! 152 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,578 Let me help you with that. 153 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,713 Was it a long drive? 154 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,115 Yeah. 155 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,050 I hope you didn't bring a ton of stuff 156 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,885 because you have to share a bedroom 157 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,420 with my daughter, Carolee. 158 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,922 So this is our home. 159 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,356 This is where we have company, usually. 160 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,959 And then in here is the kitchen, and what not. 161 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,994 The boys sleep in here, in the living room 162 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,595 because we don't have enough bedrooms. 163 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,598 That's Davey, in the glasses, and Owen. 164 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,866 This is Astrid, boys. 165 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,935 You say hi? 166 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,836 Carolee? 167 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,239 I said get out here, right now. 168 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,942 Let's just go in there. 169 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,614 This is Carolee, my daughter. 170 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,716 Make some room, okay? 171 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,019 And this is where you're going to be sleeping. 172 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,755 And she'll clean all that up, don't worry. 173 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,124 Don't mind her. She's hormonal. 174 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:54,027 The problem is she hasn't been saved. 175 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,662 What about you? 176 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,164 What? 177 00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:00,367 Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? 178 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,434 I don't know. 179 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,570 Well, when you do, he'll be waiting. 180 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,940 This is where Ray and I sleep, and the bathroom is right here. 181 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,309 Let's go back in here. 182 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,745 Ray's home late tonight because it's his poker night. 183 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,081 And he's a good man, and all, 184 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,049 but don't talk to him about Jesus. 185 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,218 He acts like he's the repo man or something, 186 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,387 not a carpenter like him. 187 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,439 You must be the new addition. 188 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,541 I'm Ray. 189 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:48,048 Or Uncle Ray, but that's Starr's idea. 190 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,017 Not mine. 191 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,187 I'm Astrid. 192 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:57,657 It's nice to meet you, Astrid. 193 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,226 You coming in? 194 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,099 How come? 195 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,236 I'm thinking. 196 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,538 What about? 197 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,411 My mother. 198 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:22,582 Starr was telling me about her. 199 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,685 She's doing time for killing her boyfriend? 200 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,992 Yeah, well, those things happen. 201 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,566 Come in when you're ready, okay? 202 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,907 That slut thinks she can tell me what to do? 203 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,476 She said I was grounded. 204 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,144 She's the mother in The Brady Bunch. 205 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,414 Listen to that. 206 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,718 Saved by Jesus. 207 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,387 She's such a hypocrite. 208 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,790 They shouldn't be doing it. They're not even married. 209 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,294 Reverend Daniels always sniffing around here, 210 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,695 blah-blah-ing about Jesus. 211 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,231 All he really wants to do is to look at her ass. 212 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,070 Don't forget to leave the window open. 213 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,439 Don't look at me like that. 214 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,174 You're no different than I am. 215 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,376 You just don't know it yet. 216 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,966 [BED POUNDING WALL AND ECSTATIC MOANS] 217 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,436 BARRY: I'm going to kill you! 218 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,072 I'll strangle you! 219 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:57,410 You bloody bitch! 220 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,616 Sin is a virus. 221 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,285 That's what Reverend Thomas says. 222 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,387 It's infecting the whole country like the clap. 223 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,989 You know they got a clap now you can't get rid of? 224 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,592 I think we've got every excuse in the book. 225 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,961 "What's wrong if I shovel coke up my nose? 226 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,496 Who's it hurting?" 227 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,331 "What's wrong with wanting to feel good all the time? 228 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,399 Who does it hurt?" 229 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,867 Well, it hurts us. 230 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,402 And it hurts Jesus. 231 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,637 Because it's wrong. 232 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,906 I don't know how you can swallow that shit. 233 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:30,310 "He who believeth in me, though he was dead, 234 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,145 yet will he live." 235 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,314 And don't you forget it, missy. 236 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,649 Here we are. 237 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:37,450 Are you kidding? 238 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,051 It's a miracle I'm not dead. 239 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,154 They took my kids away and everything. 240 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,022 I was an alcoholic, I was a coke head, 241 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,491 I was dancing topless, you name it. 242 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,227 Shut up, for Christ's sake. People are staring. 243 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:50,830 Astrid, look! Look at that! 244 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,601 That is going to go perfect with your new shoes! 245 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,369 I mean, I really felt like that! 246 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,871 "Who cares if I hang my tits in some stranger's face? 247 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:01,341 It's nobody's business but mine. 248 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,511 You know what? This is going to be good on you. 249 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,682 Astrid, those are ugly shoes. 250 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,951 Snakes don't bite above the ankle. 251 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,286 Well, take my word for it, 252 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,288 you're better off being bitten by snakes 253 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,490 than dressing for them. 254 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,827 Carolee, we need to get her some bras. 255 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,596 Carolee had her first bra when she was nine. 256 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,898 You don't want them things hanging to your knees 257 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,300 when you're 30. 258 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,168 Try it on. That'll be good on you. 259 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:33,172 Carolee, will Ray love that? 260 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,276 Look that. That is so nice! 261 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,145 Hurry, Astrid. It's here! 262 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,514 I told you you were going to miss it! 263 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,517 Astrid. This one is for you. 264 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:49,989 Who is it from? 265 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,658 My mother. 266 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,527 I didn't think she knew where I was. 267 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,731 INGRID: Dear Astrid, 268 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,133 have you been getting my letters? 269 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,036 It's been six months. Why don't you write? 270 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,838 It's only a few minutes 271 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,207 before they turn out the lights. 272 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:12,211 I can hear the women screaming in their cells. 273 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,947 We're both in prison, you and I, 274 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,985 punished for our strength and our independence. 275 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,887 Don't forget who you are. 276 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,356 The best part of me is well-hidden, 277 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,091 and you have to do the same. 278 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:29,762 Remember it all, every insult, every tear. 279 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,241 What are you doing? 280 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:47,113 I'm writing a letter to my mother. 281 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,349 You ever write your dad? 282 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,084 I don't know where he is. 283 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,687 I never met him. 284 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,956 He left when I was two. 285 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,725 Your mother tell you much about him? 286 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,160 No. 287 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,562 Aren't you curious? 288 00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:05,498 I think about what he would think of me. 289 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,301 He probably thinks you're still two. 290 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,370 That's how I remember my son, Seth. 291 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,104 You have a son? 292 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,272 Yeah. 293 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,174 Hey, Ray! 294 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,910 Hey, Patty. 295 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,916 You're going to the Jesus show? 296 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,385 Aren't you coming? 297 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,719 To Bible study? No. 298 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,621 In my opinion, if there's a God, 299 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,823 he sure as hell ain't worth praying to. 300 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:35,762 That sounds like something my mother would say. 301 00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:39,832 She wouldn't even take me to the Christmas pageant at school. 302 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:42,869 She made me beg a ride off another kid. 303 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,274 Hey, Ray. 304 00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,377 How you doing, Reverend? 305 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:54,013 I don't think he likes me very much. 306 00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,151 Why don't you and Starr get married? 307 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,220 Because I'm already married. 308 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:03,990 Astrid, come on in. We're starting. 309 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,292 Okay, I'm coming. 310 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,294 Where's your wife? 311 00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:11,998 Who knows? 312 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:16,569 I haven't seen her or my son in over five years. 313 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,420 I baptize you 314 00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:37,089 in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 315 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:53,540 Do you believe in God now? 316 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,275 Maybe it's not such a bad thing 317 00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,511 to believe in something. 318 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,346 It's better to know things. 319 00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:02,549 Why? 320 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,150 What does knowing things get you? 321 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,652 Does it tell you the difference 322 00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:08,821 between right or wrong? 323 00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:15,528 She didn't kill that guy alone. 324 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:19,932 I knew what my mother was doing, you know? 325 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:23,636 I could've saved his life but I didn't. 326 00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:54,166 Come on. 327 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:08,615 BARRY: I'm going to kill you, Ingrid! 328 00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:13,219 You think there was something valuable on that hard disk? 329 00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,622 Maybe a collection of essays 330 00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,857 due at the publisher's this fall. 331 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,429 You bloody bitch! 332 00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:24,997 You can't do this to me! 333 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:27,534 INGRID: You don't know what I can do. 334 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:33,205 MAN: Know your inmate's number. 335 00:24:35,608 --> 00:24:39,646 No number, no visit. 336 00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,080 Hey, baby. 337 00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:00,032 MAN: Astrid Magnussen? 338 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:07,239 Astrid? Follow me. 339 00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,695 Momma. 340 00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:35,802 No, no, no, no, no. 341 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,706 Don't cry. 342 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:40,873 We're not like that. 343 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,909 We're the Vikings, remember? 344 00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:52,518 You're so beautiful. 345 00:25:52,518 --> 00:25:54,754 Prison agrees with me. 346 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,756 There's no hypocrisy here. 347 00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:59,959 Kill or be killed, and everybody knows it. 348 00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:05,064 Do they hurt you? 349 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:07,333 Not as much as I hurt them. 350 00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:14,707 I won't be in here forever, I promise you that. 351 00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,709 One day, you'll look out your window, 352 00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:18,577 and I'll be there. 353 00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:24,216 Your hair smells like clover. 354 00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:27,687 I want to remember you just like this 355 00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:32,191 in that sadly hopeful pink dress. 356 00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:34,560 Starr picked it out. 357 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,664 Of course she did. 358 00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:42,334 What's that? 359 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:45,337 Nothing. 360 00:26:45,337 --> 00:26:47,339 It's just a cross. 361 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:49,341 I know it's a cross. 362 00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:53,780 Why are you wearing it? 363 00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:58,484 It's a present from Starr. 364 00:26:58,484 --> 00:27:01,087 She force you to go to church? 365 00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:04,023 They're really nice people. 366 00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:05,658 It's called the Assembly of God. 367 00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,159 To join, 368 00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:09,762 you have to accept Christ as your personal savior. 369 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:11,297 Then you're baptized. 370 00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,900 They call it being washed in the blood of the lamb. 371 00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:16,335 But really it's just water. 372 00:27:19,038 --> 00:27:21,908 Have you accepted Christ as your personal savior? 373 00:27:21,908 --> 00:27:25,344 There's nothing wrong with being a Christian. 374 00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:26,979 Are you out of your mind? 375 00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:30,783 How did this happen? 376 00:27:30,783 --> 00:27:32,184 I raised you. 377 00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:34,186 Not a pack of Bible-thumping trailer trash. 378 00:27:34,186 --> 00:27:36,622 I raised you to think for yourself. 379 00:27:36,622 --> 00:27:38,991 No, you didn't. 380 00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:44,964 You raised me to think like you. 381 00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:47,900 And maybe thinking for yourself 382 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,736 isn't so great. 383 00:27:49,736 --> 00:27:51,771 Reverend Daniels says it's evil. 384 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:54,206 Evil? 385 00:27:54,206 --> 00:27:57,409 If thinking for yourself is evil, 386 00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,411 then every artist is evil. 387 00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:00,512 Is that what you believe? 388 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:01,513 Now that you've been washed 389 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,815 in the blood of the lamb? 390 00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:06,118 Man's ability to reason is evil. Am I evil? 391 00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:08,087 No. 392 00:28:10,222 --> 00:28:12,892 No... 393 00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:15,327 But killing people who don't want you is evil. 394 00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:19,198 We pray for your redemption every Sunday. 395 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,400 Fuck my redemption. I don't want to be redeemed. 396 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,169 I regret nothing. 397 00:28:23,169 --> 00:28:26,038 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Attention, please. Visiting hours are over. 398 00:28:28,607 --> 00:28:32,812 It's good that you're trying to identify evil, Astrid. 399 00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:35,547 But evil is tricky. 400 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:37,950 Just when you think you know what it is, 401 00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:39,618 it changes its form. 402 00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:44,623 Learning its nature takes a lifetime of study. 403 00:28:44,623 --> 00:28:47,827 I will not lose you. 404 00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:50,662 Not to them. 405 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:52,498 Those people are the enemy, Astrid. 406 00:28:52,498 --> 00:28:54,934 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Visiting hours are over. 407 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:56,869 Write to me. 408 00:28:56,869 --> 00:28:58,104 Time's up. 409 00:28:58,104 --> 00:29:01,540 Write to me. At least once a week. 410 00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:07,079 I'm the only person you know who can keep you honest. 411 00:29:12,184 --> 00:29:14,987 Don't forget who you are, Astrid. 412 00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:20,159 You're my daughter and you're perfect, remember? 413 00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:55,661 How far away is it? 414 00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:57,263 About a mile. 415 00:29:57,263 --> 00:29:59,731 Maybe two. 416 00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:01,533 Shouldn't we pack up and go? 417 00:30:01,533 --> 00:30:03,035 Not yet. 418 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:05,537 The wind is still in our favor. 419 00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:11,510 My mother used to love fire season. 420 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:18,117 She made me decide what I'd take if we had to go. 421 00:30:18,117 --> 00:30:22,121 She said if I was brave, I wouldn't take anything. 422 00:30:22,121 --> 00:30:24,957 Your mother sounds tough. 423 00:30:24,957 --> 00:30:26,658 Not like you. 424 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,761 What am I like? 425 00:30:29,761 --> 00:30:32,965 You, you're... 426 00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:35,001 you're a sweetheart. 427 00:30:42,909 --> 00:30:45,711 Astrid, honey. 428 00:30:45,711 --> 00:30:47,446 Astrid? 429 00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:51,583 Come on in here a minute. 430 00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:00,326 Sit down. I won't bite. 431 00:31:05,898 --> 00:31:07,166 You're having fun here aren't you? 432 00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:10,102 Making yourself at home, getting comfortable? 433 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,607 A little too comfortable, I'd say. 434 00:31:17,910 --> 00:31:20,279 I may not be some genius, but I'm getting your game. 435 00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:22,348 And believe me, it takes one to know one. 436 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:23,515 One what? 437 00:31:23,515 --> 00:31:26,318 Always hanging around, handling his tools. 438 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:28,854 "What's this for, Uncle Ray? Can I help you, Uncle Ray?" 439 00:31:28,854 --> 00:31:31,490 We're not doing anything. 440 00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:33,459 I'm calling Children's Services I want you to know. 441 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:37,363 It's all over for you, little missy. 442 00:31:37,363 --> 00:31:39,698 But-- Don't "but" me. 443 00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:41,833 He is a man. 444 00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:45,571 And he sees what he sees, and he does what he can. 445 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:48,174 I've got a nice thing going here. 446 00:31:48,174 --> 00:31:50,042 Ray is the best man I ever had, 447 00:31:50,042 --> 00:31:51,110 and I've lived too long 448 00:31:51,110 --> 00:31:53,012 and come too far to blow it now. 449 00:31:55,647 --> 00:31:57,283 I never had a father. 450 00:31:57,283 --> 00:31:59,251 Don't. 451 00:32:01,087 --> 00:32:03,089 I've got myself and my own kids to worry about. 452 00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:05,057 You and me, we hardly know each other. 453 00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:07,659 I don't owe you a thing. 454 00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,897 Jesus would give me a chance. 455 00:32:11,897 --> 00:32:16,668 Well, I'm not Jesus, not even close. 456 00:32:22,174 --> 00:32:24,610 He might be mad... 457 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,213 if he knew you sent me away because you were jealous. 458 00:32:30,116 --> 00:32:32,284 You're trying to make him a prisoner. 459 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,685 He's going to hate you. 460 00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:37,823 What do you know about men? 461 00:32:37,823 --> 00:32:40,559 I know that men don't like women who try to own them. 462 00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,029 I like you. 463 00:32:43,029 --> 00:32:45,164 I like the kids. 464 00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:47,599 I would never do anything to screw it up. 465 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:52,571 You swear you're not interested in him? 466 00:32:52,571 --> 00:32:55,707 I swear to God. 467 00:33:01,013 --> 00:33:02,548 There! Did you see it? 468 00:33:02,548 --> 00:33:05,617 I'm not sure. 469 00:33:05,617 --> 00:33:06,852 You see anything yet? 470 00:33:06,852 --> 00:33:08,520 It's just starting. 471 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,157 But we should be getting 40 an hour pretty soon. 472 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:12,524 The Quadrantid 473 00:33:12,524 --> 00:33:14,526 is the shortest-lived meteorite shower, 474 00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:17,729 but the densest, except for the Perseids. 475 00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:29,075 You and Starr, you having a beef? 476 00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:34,746 No. Why? 477 00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:40,386 Just something she said. 478 00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:49,895 Guess it's hard, getting older... 479 00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:53,165 pretty girl coming up in the house. 480 00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:54,566 Ray, honey? 481 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:57,936 What are you doing out here? 482 00:33:57,936 --> 00:34:00,772 Nothing, baby. Just having a smoke. 483 00:34:08,947 --> 00:34:11,383 Looking at the stars. 484 00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:20,058 STARR: And this is 40 dollars, 485 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:22,328 not even 40 dollars a month. 486 00:34:22,328 --> 00:34:23,595 And you waste 487 00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,231 200 dollars in one night? 488 00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:26,832 And you been doing it weekly. 489 00:34:26,832 --> 00:34:28,167 RAY: Listen, I won last week. 490 00:34:28,167 --> 00:34:29,835 What else you doing with the money, Ray? 491 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,172 You can't even look at me! 492 00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:34,640 I'm looking right at you. 493 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,875 You weren't when I asked you that question. 494 00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:38,444 And you got your car out there. 495 00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:41,180 God knows what you spend on that. 496 00:34:41,180 --> 00:34:43,182 That comes out of my pocket. No, it doesn't. 497 00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:44,850 Don't ruin this. 498 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,685 Ruin what? 499 00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,223 She's drinking again. 500 00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:52,624 And who else were you with? 501 00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,593 I saw you eyeing her the other day. 502 00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:14,180 Thought you were all going to a movie? 503 00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:16,782 I had a lot of homework. 504 00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:20,352 How come you aren't playing poker? 505 00:35:20,352 --> 00:35:23,322 The game got cancelled. 506 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,793 They coming home soon? 507 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:30,862 Not too long. 508 00:35:33,899 --> 00:35:37,068 Well, there's plenty of food, if you want. 509 00:35:37,068 --> 00:35:38,737 Thanks. 510 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:22,614 This isn't right. 511 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:15,367 Is everyone gone? 512 00:37:18,704 --> 00:37:20,439 STARR: It is all my business! 513 00:37:20,439 --> 00:37:23,074 This is my house! 514 00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:24,075 You have to abide 515 00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,378 by the laws that I put down! 516 00:37:26,378 --> 00:37:29,581 I waited up for you all night long. 517 00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:31,650 I want to know who you were with. 518 00:37:31,650 --> 00:37:32,884 Don't give me your shit! 519 00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:34,586 You stayed up all night to drink! 520 00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,955 I stayed up to catch you, you whore! 521 00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:38,757 You should know. 522 00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:43,729 Try it again, I'll take you out, bitch. 523 00:37:45,897 --> 00:37:47,198 Carolee! 524 00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:50,402 You walk out that door, don't bother coming back. 525 00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:51,870 Why the hell would I want to? 526 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:54,239 I've been down this road with you before, 527 00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:55,674 Mom. 528 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,143 Sorry, Davey. 529 00:37:58,143 --> 00:38:00,746 I can't go through this again. 530 00:38:03,014 --> 00:38:05,016 Carolee! 531 00:38:14,826 --> 00:38:16,395 STARR: You used to like it fine 532 00:38:16,395 --> 00:38:19,898 before you started doing that little bitch! 533 00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:22,434 Admit it, you bastard! You're screwing her! 534 00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:23,769 Call your sponsor. Screw my sponsor! 535 00:38:23,769 --> 00:38:25,303 Go back to bed. 536 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:28,073 I should've gotten rid of her when I had the chance. 537 00:38:28,073 --> 00:38:29,575 You know what I'm going to do? 538 00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:32,444 I'm going to go in there, and I'm going to cash her check. 539 00:38:32,444 --> 00:38:34,446 Hey, Starr, stop it. 540 00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:35,714 Hey! Stop! 541 00:38:38,484 --> 00:38:39,818 What the hell is wrong 542 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:40,886 Get off of me! 543 00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:44,723 Starr! 544 00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:45,724 Starr! 545 00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:51,329 Get off of me, goddamn it! Get off of me! 546 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,632 [STARR SCREAMING AND GLASS BREAKING] 547 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:14,486 INGRID: No, don't cry. 548 00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:16,187 We're not like that. 549 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,390 We're the Vikings, remember? 550 00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:24,229 Astrid? 551 00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:26,364 Astrid 552 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:28,233 Astrid. Talk to me. 553 00:39:28,233 --> 00:39:30,101 Can you talk to me? 554 00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,102 Okay, she's coming around. 555 00:39:31,102 --> 00:39:32,303 This boy saved your life. 556 00:39:32,303 --> 00:39:37,409 If he hadn't called 911, you'd be dead. 557 00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:39,377 Who did this to you? Who shot you? 558 00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:40,446 I don't know. 559 00:39:40,446 --> 00:39:42,981 Watch your feet. 560 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,521 Where's Ray, Davey? 561 00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:51,523 He's gone. 562 00:39:51,523 --> 00:39:53,124 They're both gone! 563 00:39:55,260 --> 00:39:57,262 I'm sorry. 564 00:39:57,262 --> 00:39:59,431 I'm so sorry I ruined it. 565 00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:00,599 Doesn't matter. 566 00:40:00,599 --> 00:40:03,034 Something would have. 567 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,136 Bye, Astrid. 568 00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,137 MAN: Watch the step. 569 00:40:06,137 --> 00:40:07,606 We got you, Astrid. 570 00:40:09,975 --> 00:40:11,743 Okay, step. 571 00:40:59,991 --> 00:41:02,127 We'd prefer to find you a permanent placement, 572 00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:05,030 but we have so many children on our books right now. 573 00:41:05,030 --> 00:41:06,965 The hospital said you need special attention 574 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:08,834 which you'll get at McKinney Hall. 575 00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:10,602 They have all sorts of activities 576 00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:11,937 for young people. 577 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,881 You're dead, bitch! You hear me? You are dead. 578 00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:27,018 Don't you ever look at my boyfriend again, you hear me? 579 00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:29,087 Don't ever look at my boyfriend again. 580 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:31,757 If you look at my boyfriend, you're dead! 581 00:42:46,031 --> 00:42:47,999 The next time you and your friends jump me, 582 00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:52,170 I'll cut your throats when you're sleeping. 583 00:43:08,319 --> 00:43:10,689 What do you want? 584 00:43:10,689 --> 00:43:14,425 I was looking at your picture. 585 00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:16,027 It's good. 586 00:43:18,196 --> 00:43:20,932 Who is it? 587 00:43:24,770 --> 00:43:27,472 How come you chopped off your hair? 588 00:43:27,472 --> 00:43:29,074 None of your business. 589 00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:34,980 You're still beautiful. 590 00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:36,447 Looks don't interest me. 591 00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:41,987 That's easy for you to say, you've never been ugly. 592 00:44:07,713 --> 00:44:09,447 Oh, look. 593 00:44:09,447 --> 00:44:10,816 It's the puta. 594 00:44:10,816 --> 00:44:12,784 She's so ugly now, huh? 595 00:44:51,489 --> 00:44:54,092 You're not ugly. 596 00:45:01,767 --> 00:45:03,501 INGRID: You write as if 597 00:45:03,501 --> 00:45:05,203 you're surprised to find me still beautiful, even here. 598 00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:09,908 Our beauty is our power, our strength. 599 00:45:09,908 --> 00:45:13,945 We can't allow them to change us, to lessen us. 600 00:45:13,945 --> 00:45:17,849 I will never grant them that satisfaction, 601 00:45:17,849 --> 00:45:19,217 and neither should you. 602 00:45:28,326 --> 00:45:30,829 So is this your first time in Mac? 603 00:45:33,698 --> 00:45:34,699 Figured. 604 00:45:34,699 --> 00:45:37,502 You're so unfriendly. 605 00:45:37,502 --> 00:45:40,205 Life is easier without friends. 606 00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:42,473 Maybe. 607 00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:43,875 I like it here. 608 00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:46,077 It's better than being in a foster home. 609 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:48,947 It's the floor you can't fall below. 610 00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:55,620 What's that? 611 00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:58,356 A letter. 612 00:45:58,356 --> 00:46:00,458 From who? 613 00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:01,659 My mother. 614 00:46:01,659 --> 00:46:03,795 And where is she? 615 00:46:03,795 --> 00:46:06,331 In prison. For murder. 616 00:46:06,331 --> 00:46:08,566 And your father? 617 00:46:08,566 --> 00:46:10,836 Don't know the guy. 618 00:46:13,504 --> 00:46:14,772 How about you? 619 00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:17,909 Oh, they were junkies. 620 00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:19,945 She O.D.'d when I was six, 621 00:46:19,945 --> 00:46:21,779 and he disappeared a couple years later. 622 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,014 I was born addicted to heroin. 623 00:46:23,014 --> 00:46:24,749 Really 624 00:46:24,749 --> 00:46:26,217 I don't know. 625 00:46:26,217 --> 00:46:29,187 I was out of rehab by the time I was six months old. 626 00:46:33,224 --> 00:46:34,325 So... 627 00:46:35,994 --> 00:46:37,929 What's the deal? Are you gay? 628 00:46:37,929 --> 00:46:40,298 What? 629 00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:43,334 I don't know, I get this funny feeling from you, 630 00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:45,837 like you're not interested in guys. 631 00:46:47,939 --> 00:46:49,841 You're right, I'm not. 632 00:46:50,976 --> 00:46:52,477 GIRL 1: You think that's funny? 633 00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:54,779 I'm sick of this. I'm not going to let you do this again. 634 00:46:54,779 --> 00:46:57,548 Why don't you shut up, okay? 635 00:47:11,362 --> 00:47:13,298 ASTRID: What if they catch us? 636 00:47:13,298 --> 00:47:15,566 They'd put us in McKinney Hall. 637 00:47:15,566 --> 00:47:17,168 Come on! 638 00:47:22,007 --> 00:47:25,010 The guy is a genius. 639 00:47:25,010 --> 00:47:27,879 I started out copying his stuff, but... 640 00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:33,418 I could never touch him. 641 00:47:33,418 --> 00:47:35,853 He's great. 642 00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:37,455 But you're better. 643 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,593 You're insane. 644 00:47:45,596 --> 00:47:46,998 No, I'm not. 645 00:47:46,998 --> 00:47:51,602 He's a great cartoonist, but you're an artist. 646 00:47:51,602 --> 00:47:53,604 What's the difference? 647 00:47:56,274 --> 00:47:59,510 That's like asking why a joke is funny. 648 00:47:59,510 --> 00:48:01,679 Either it's funny or it's not. 649 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:04,682 You're either an artist or you're not. 650 00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:06,884 You are. 651 00:48:33,311 --> 00:48:34,645 That's good. 652 00:49:45,516 --> 00:49:48,653 There's another one! Do you see it. 653 00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:50,721 Yeah. 654 00:49:56,694 --> 00:50:00,698 The Lyrids shower is visible most of the night. 655 00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:03,368 The brightest star is Vega... 656 00:50:03,368 --> 00:50:05,002 but you can't look right at it 657 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,872 or you'll miss the fainter meteors. 658 00:50:07,872 --> 00:50:11,742 You can trace them back to Lyra. 659 00:50:11,742 --> 00:50:14,345 How do you know all that? 660 00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,751 A kid I used to know. 661 00:50:32,330 --> 00:50:35,766 I used to have a foster home right over there. 662 00:50:41,439 --> 00:50:44,375 It's nice living on the beach. 663 00:50:51,015 --> 00:50:56,587 Do you ever think about your father? 664 00:50:56,587 --> 00:50:59,790 Not really. He was an asshole. 665 00:51:03,961 --> 00:51:08,333 I think about mine sometimes. 666 00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:11,202 That when I'm an artist, 667 00:51:11,202 --> 00:51:13,104 he'll read about me in the papers 668 00:51:13,104 --> 00:51:16,607 and he'll want to meet me. 669 00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:26,384 I'm not gay. 670 00:51:28,953 --> 00:51:30,155 I know that. 671 00:51:56,013 --> 00:51:58,516 I'll show you the one he did of me. 672 00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,159 It's right... 673 00:52:08,159 --> 00:52:09,527 right here. 674 00:52:09,527 --> 00:52:11,896 They're not bad for what they are. 675 00:52:11,896 --> 00:52:15,866 For what they are? 676 00:52:15,866 --> 00:52:17,835 What are they? 677 00:52:17,835 --> 00:52:20,738 Cartoons. 678 00:52:20,738 --> 00:52:22,673 No, they're not. 679 00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,275 They're so much more than that. 680 00:52:24,275 --> 00:52:26,110 He's really talented. 681 00:52:26,110 --> 00:52:28,979 Don't do it again, Astrid. 682 00:52:28,979 --> 00:52:30,114 Do what again? 683 00:52:30,114 --> 00:52:31,816 Attach yourself 684 00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:34,552 to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention 685 00:52:34,552 --> 00:52:35,886 because you're lonely. 686 00:52:35,886 --> 00:52:40,725 Loneliness is the human condition. 687 00:52:40,725 --> 00:52:43,961 No one is ever going to fill that space. 688 00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:46,797 The best you can do is know yourself, 689 00:52:46,797 --> 00:52:47,798 know what you want, 690 00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:51,336 and don't let the cattle get in the way. 691 00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:54,239 You're not talking about me. 692 00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:57,308 You're talking about yourself. 693 00:52:57,308 --> 00:52:58,576 Sometimes I get the feeling 694 00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:00,278 you don't even want me to be happy. 695 00:53:00,278 --> 00:53:05,750 Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? 696 00:53:15,326 --> 00:53:17,628 Where are they sending you? 697 00:53:17,628 --> 00:53:19,630 I don't know. 698 00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:24,235 Look... 699 00:53:28,406 --> 00:53:31,376 The comic book store will hold letters for me. 700 00:53:31,376 --> 00:53:34,779 Wherever they take you, keep checking there. 701 00:54:36,206 --> 00:54:39,410 Why do we have to go all the way to Mexico to buy this stuff? 702 00:54:39,410 --> 00:54:41,278 It isn't FDA approved. 703 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:45,383 What's it called? 704 00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:47,852 DMSO. 705 00:54:47,852 --> 00:54:50,588 What's it for? 706 00:54:50,588 --> 00:54:54,291 All sorts of things. 707 00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:02,166 You'll like these people. 708 00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:04,569 She's an actress and he does something in television. 709 00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:08,072 Do they have any kids? 710 00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:11,942 No. They're looking to adopt. 711 00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:06,597 She's had an incredibly hard time. 712 00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:07,832 She's very smart, 713 00:56:07,832 --> 00:56:09,467 she's just missed a lot of school. 714 00:56:09,467 --> 00:56:10,701 Mm. 715 00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:13,237 Look, you don't have to decide immediately. 716 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:15,105 Okay. 717 00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:16,574 Just talk to her, 718 00:56:16,574 --> 00:56:19,243 and if you're uncomfortable in any way, 719 00:56:19,243 --> 00:56:20,445 you just let me know. 720 00:56:36,193 --> 00:56:39,129 There you are. 721 00:56:39,129 --> 00:56:42,633 I'm really sorry that Mark couldn't be here to meet you, 722 00:56:42,633 --> 00:56:46,003 but he's filming in Nova Scotia, so... 723 00:56:46,003 --> 00:56:48,639 Well, this is it! 724 00:56:48,639 --> 00:56:50,407 I left it plain on purpose 725 00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:53,143 because I thought 726 00:56:53,143 --> 00:56:55,245 that way you could put your own things up. 727 00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:59,116 I like the D rer watercolor. 728 00:56:59,116 --> 00:57:00,551 You know who D rer is? 729 00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:02,820 My mother is an artist. 730 00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:05,155 Oh. That's right. Of course. 731 00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:07,492 Of course, they said that. 732 00:57:07,492 --> 00:57:11,496 Hey, listen, do you want some tea or something? 733 00:57:11,496 --> 00:57:13,598 Or Pepsi. I bought Pepsi. 734 00:57:13,598 --> 00:57:15,566 I mean, I didn't know what you'd drink. 735 00:57:15,566 --> 00:57:16,767 Or we have juice. 736 00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:19,169 I could make you a smoothie if you like. 737 00:57:19,169 --> 00:57:21,338 Would you like a smoothie? 738 00:57:21,338 --> 00:57:22,907 Tea is fine. 739 00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:30,915 I walk, I walk, stop... 740 00:57:30,915 --> 00:57:33,584 look... 741 00:57:33,584 --> 00:57:36,554 And now I die. 742 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:43,794 You're really good. 743 00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:45,596 Do you know what a nightmare it is? 744 00:57:45,596 --> 00:57:47,031 It's such a nightmare. 745 00:57:47,031 --> 00:57:49,199 I mean, you spend all this time getting ready, 746 00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:50,535 ages, getting ready, 747 00:57:50,535 --> 00:57:53,003 drag yourself down to this audition 748 00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:55,405 so they can look at you for two seconds, 749 00:57:55,405 --> 00:57:58,475 and tell you that you're too ethnic, 750 00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:01,345 or too classic, too something. 751 00:58:01,345 --> 00:58:03,313 Too ethnic? Mm-hm. 752 00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,015 It means brunette. 753 00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:09,219 And too classic means old. 754 00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:12,222 And...too small? 755 00:58:12,222 --> 00:58:13,558 Breasts. 756 00:58:13,558 --> 00:58:16,426 Why do you do it then? 757 00:58:16,426 --> 00:58:18,162 What do you mean? 758 00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:19,964 Give up show business? 759 00:58:36,213 --> 00:58:37,948 Come on! 760 00:58:48,192 --> 00:58:50,928 Here. To your first run on the beach. 761 00:58:50,928 --> 00:58:54,531 Well done. Never again. 762 00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,433 How is your shoulder? 763 00:58:56,433 --> 00:58:58,636 It's fine. 764 00:58:58,636 --> 00:59:02,272 You did really well! Really, really well. 765 00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,088 What was... 766 00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:22,292 the best day of your life? 767 00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,299 Today. 768 00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:32,937 What should we do later? 769 00:59:32,937 --> 00:59:37,441 I don't know. What do you want to do? 770 00:59:37,441 --> 00:59:38,909 Swim? 771 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:39,977 Okay. 772 00:59:43,113 --> 00:59:45,349 Oh, my God! 773 00:59:45,349 --> 00:59:47,618 He's back early! 774 00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:54,324 Mark! 775 01:00:09,874 --> 01:00:11,075 You must be Astrid. 776 01:00:13,510 --> 01:00:16,046 It took us three hours to get him back in there. 777 01:00:16,046 --> 01:00:18,248 The whole film crew is gathered around. 778 01:00:18,248 --> 01:00:20,851 He still almost chickens out. 779 01:00:20,851 --> 01:00:21,786 I think he thought 780 01:00:21,786 --> 01:00:23,020 it was going to come back 781 01:00:23,020 --> 01:00:25,222 and try and finish him off. 782 01:00:25,222 --> 01:00:27,391 What would you have done if it had? 783 01:00:27,391 --> 01:00:29,393 I would have ducked. 784 01:00:34,498 --> 01:00:35,565 Perfect. 785 01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,968 Just right there. 786 01:00:45,776 --> 01:00:47,377 Well, cheers. 787 01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,113 Cheers. Cheers, Astrid. 788 01:00:52,182 --> 01:00:54,885 We've got some catching up to do. 789 01:00:54,885 --> 01:00:57,321 Claire tells me you're quite an artist. 790 01:00:57,321 --> 01:00:58,756 Not really. 791 01:00:58,756 --> 01:01:00,825 She's wonderful! 792 01:01:00,825 --> 01:01:02,392 In fact, we went to see Trish, 793 01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:03,527 and she's accepted Astrid 794 01:01:03,527 --> 01:01:05,195 for one of her watercolor classes. 795 01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:06,731 At the museum? Mm-hm. Yeah. 796 01:01:06,731 --> 01:01:08,298 She loves Astrid's work. 797 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:11,736 You should show him! 798 01:01:17,775 --> 01:01:19,944 They're really, really beautiful. 799 01:01:19,944 --> 01:01:21,812 And she's never even studied. 800 01:01:21,812 --> 01:01:22,813 She's completely self-taught. 801 01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:24,414 Is that right? Mm-hm. 802 01:01:32,456 --> 01:01:33,457 Is she all right? 803 01:01:39,663 --> 01:01:41,665 INGRID: I know you're perfect. 804 01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:43,400 ASTRID: I'm not perfect. 805 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,369 Of course you are. You're my daughter. 806 01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:46,804 Hey. 807 01:01:46,804 --> 01:01:48,773 Are you okay? 808 01:01:48,773 --> 01:01:51,809 Yeah. Just thinking. 809 01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:57,714 Are you getting my letters? 810 01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:59,616 Yes. 811 01:01:59,616 --> 01:02:01,451 I can never be sure. 812 01:02:01,451 --> 01:02:03,187 I get them. 813 01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:08,725 Why doesn't she have any children? 814 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:11,528 She can't have them. 815 01:02:11,528 --> 01:02:15,232 You dress like her now. 816 01:02:19,003 --> 01:02:21,471 She takes me shopping. 817 01:02:23,874 --> 01:02:25,275 What's her husband like? 818 01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:30,480 He's nice. 819 01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,983 He's gone a lot. 820 01:02:32,983 --> 01:02:37,221 So you spend most of your time with Claire? 821 01:02:37,221 --> 01:02:40,524 Yeah. 822 01:02:42,626 --> 01:02:44,161 I'd like to meet her. 823 01:02:44,161 --> 01:02:46,130 Why? 824 01:02:46,130 --> 01:02:50,100 Because you don't want me to. 825 01:02:54,905 --> 01:02:57,307 Who did this belong to? 826 01:02:57,307 --> 01:03:03,180 That was my great aunt's, on my father's side. 827 01:03:03,180 --> 01:03:05,649 She was a field nurse at Ypres. 828 01:03:05,649 --> 01:03:07,451 Very, very brave woman. 829 01:03:07,451 --> 01:03:09,519 It's pretty, isn't it? 830 01:03:14,058 --> 01:03:15,659 And whose was this? 831 01:03:15,659 --> 01:03:17,027 It was my mother's. 832 01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:19,196 My father gave it to her. 833 01:03:19,196 --> 01:03:22,766 My parents were completely inseparable. 834 01:03:22,766 --> 01:03:25,435 Not at all like Mark and I. 835 01:03:28,072 --> 01:03:31,541 I hate it when he has to go away for so long. 836 01:03:31,541 --> 01:03:34,945 Why don't you go with him? 837 01:03:34,945 --> 01:03:37,314 He says it slows him down. 838 01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:44,821 I think it's because he's having an affair. 839 01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,957 He wouldn't have an affair. 840 01:03:46,957 --> 01:03:48,558 He loves you. 841 01:03:48,558 --> 01:03:52,062 Yeah, I know. 842 01:03:52,062 --> 01:03:55,599 If he did, I would never know about it. 843 01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:57,567 You're just being paranoid. 844 01:03:57,567 --> 01:04:00,670 Yeah, that's what he says. 845 01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:03,273 I "can be very negative." 846 01:04:16,921 --> 01:04:17,988 Should I put this here? 847 01:04:17,988 --> 01:04:19,523 Yeah, perfect. 848 01:04:19,523 --> 01:04:21,325 Everything ready inside? 849 01:04:28,966 --> 01:04:30,634 You're leaving tomorrow? 850 01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:32,636 Mm-hm. In the morning. 851 01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:37,975 I bet Claire would love to go with you. 852 01:04:37,975 --> 01:04:42,179 Coordinating our schedules is difficult. 853 01:04:42,179 --> 01:04:45,916 She's not working, she could fit into yours. 854 01:04:45,916 --> 01:04:48,152 What about you? 855 01:04:48,152 --> 01:04:51,355 Doesn't she need to be here for you? 856 01:04:51,355 --> 01:04:52,356 Yeah. 857 01:04:54,158 --> 01:04:57,694 How is she these days, when I'm gone? 858 01:04:57,694 --> 01:04:59,629 She okay? 859 01:04:59,629 --> 01:05:00,730 She's fine. 860 01:05:00,730 --> 01:05:02,299 Why do you ask? 861 01:05:02,299 --> 01:05:03,667 No reason. 862 01:05:25,189 --> 01:05:27,557 You're back early. 863 01:05:27,557 --> 01:05:31,628 How long has my mother been writing you? 864 01:05:31,628 --> 01:05:34,331 Oh...not long. 865 01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:37,001 We've only written to each other a couple of times. 866 01:05:37,001 --> 01:05:39,269 Why didn't you tell me? 867 01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:41,571 Because she asked me not to. 868 01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:46,576 She thought that you wouldn't like it. 869 01:05:49,713 --> 01:05:53,683 Her letter was so powerful. 870 01:05:53,683 --> 01:05:55,552 She's so strong. 871 01:05:57,187 --> 01:06:00,957 And God, she's talented. 872 01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:05,362 We'd like to meet. 873 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,534 Whose idea was that? 874 01:06:10,534 --> 01:06:12,269 Mine. 875 01:06:12,269 --> 01:06:15,705 I bet. 876 01:06:18,075 --> 01:06:20,610 I really love your work. 877 01:06:20,610 --> 01:06:21,645 What have you seen? 878 01:06:21,645 --> 01:06:24,648 Astrid showed me the collages you sent her 879 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:27,051 and some of your earlier work in the catalogues. 880 01:06:27,051 --> 01:06:30,220 Oh, I love the Polaroid installation. 881 01:06:30,220 --> 01:06:32,322 Oh, really? Yeah. 882 01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:33,123 Why? 883 01:06:33,123 --> 01:06:37,094 Um, I don't know... 884 01:06:37,094 --> 01:06:40,730 Well, because... 885 01:06:40,730 --> 01:06:42,532 Because it's great! 886 01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:47,637 I'm actually very visual myself. 887 01:06:47,637 --> 01:06:49,239 Kindred spirit. 888 01:06:51,375 --> 01:06:55,112 Must be difficult for you to work here. 889 01:06:55,112 --> 01:06:57,281 Oh, it is. 890 01:06:57,281 --> 01:06:59,883 I spend so much time fighting off sexual advances, 891 01:06:59,883 --> 01:07:01,751 I hardly have time to think. 892 01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:07,124 That was a joke. 893 01:07:07,124 --> 01:07:08,425 Oh. 894 01:07:10,727 --> 01:07:13,097 Jailbird humor is hard to get sometimes. 895 01:07:13,097 --> 01:07:14,564 Sorry. 896 01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,501 So... 897 01:07:17,501 --> 01:07:19,035 an actress? 898 01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:21,305 So glamorous! 899 01:07:21,305 --> 01:07:24,174 No. My career is a disaster. 900 01:07:24,174 --> 01:07:27,144 I think it's the process. 901 01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:30,013 It may be too painful for me. 902 01:07:30,013 --> 01:07:31,781 You're such a sensitive person. 903 01:07:31,781 --> 01:07:33,183 All that rejection. 904 01:07:33,183 --> 01:07:35,419 It's got to be hard on your self-esteem. 905 01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:38,788 I'm a typical Pisces. 906 01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:41,258 But that's why Astrid and I get on so well. 907 01:07:41,258 --> 01:07:44,328 Scorpio and Pisces understand each other. 908 01:07:44,328 --> 01:07:47,397 You're into astrology? 909 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:48,598 She's not into astrology 910 01:07:48,598 --> 01:07:51,101 just because she knows our signs. 911 01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:57,941 Astrid and I used to understand each other... 912 01:07:57,941 --> 01:07:59,776 but she's become so secretive. 913 01:07:59,776 --> 01:08:02,312 Astrid isn't secretive at all! 914 01:08:02,312 --> 01:08:05,315 No, we talk about everything, all the time. 915 01:08:07,284 --> 01:08:10,254 We just love her. 916 01:08:10,254 --> 01:08:11,855 She's doing so well. 917 01:08:13,123 --> 01:08:15,359 She's on the honor roll, 918 01:08:15,359 --> 01:08:16,760 and we're just working 919 01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:19,696 to keep that old grade point average up. 920 01:08:19,696 --> 01:08:21,598 Why don't you put a pyramid over her desk? 921 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:23,099 They say it improves memory. 922 01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:24,434 My memory is fine. 923 01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:27,971 Pyramid. I hadn't thought of that. 924 01:08:27,971 --> 01:08:30,374 I do practice Feng Shui, though. 925 01:08:30,374 --> 01:08:33,843 You never mentioned that in your letters. 926 01:08:33,843 --> 01:08:35,312 How about your husband? 927 01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:36,746 Is he into Feng Shui as well? 928 01:08:36,746 --> 01:08:41,117 No, he's into frequent flyer miles. 929 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:45,121 He's gone half the time. 930 01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:47,591 That's not so bad, you know? 931 01:08:47,591 --> 01:08:49,826 And now that I have Astrid... 932 01:08:49,826 --> 01:08:55,932 She must be a great comfort to you, 933 01:08:55,932 --> 01:08:58,568 not being able to have children of your own. 934 01:08:59,869 --> 01:09:02,138 Yeah. 935 01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:03,873 She is. 936 01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:11,581 Would you mind letting us talk alone, sweetie? 937 01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:16,186 They're grown-up things. 938 01:09:16,186 --> 01:09:19,022 Don't we have to go? 939 01:09:19,022 --> 01:09:21,425 No, it's okay. 940 01:09:21,425 --> 01:09:23,493 We have time. 941 01:09:42,312 --> 01:09:45,048 Love humiliates you. 942 01:09:45,048 --> 01:09:47,651 Hatred cradles you. 943 01:09:47,651 --> 01:09:49,419 It's soothing. 944 01:09:52,422 --> 01:09:53,957 What did you say to her? 945 01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:58,562 She's having trouble with her husband. 946 01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:00,730 It's not you, is it? 947 01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:03,267 I know you have an attraction for older men. 948 01:10:03,267 --> 01:10:05,068 No, it's not me. 949 01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:06,603 You leave her alone. 950 01:10:06,603 --> 01:10:08,338 Oh, but it's such fun. 951 01:10:08,338 --> 01:10:10,574 Easy, but fun. 952 01:10:10,574 --> 01:10:12,342 And in my present situation, 953 01:10:12,342 --> 01:10:14,010 I have to get my fun where I can. 954 01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:19,249 God, how can you stand to live with poor Claire? 955 01:10:19,249 --> 01:10:21,351 Did you know there's an entire order 956 01:10:21,351 --> 01:10:23,287 called the Poor Claires? 957 01:10:23,287 --> 01:10:26,390 She is a genuinely nice person. 958 01:10:28,758 --> 01:10:30,627 You don't know what it's been like. 959 01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:33,963 If you love me, you'll help me. 960 01:10:33,963 --> 01:10:35,365 Help you? 961 01:10:37,867 --> 01:10:40,370 I would rather see you 962 01:10:40,370 --> 01:10:43,172 in the worst kind of foster hell 963 01:10:43,172 --> 01:10:44,708 than living with that woman. 964 01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:47,977 What can you possibly learn from her? 965 01:10:47,977 --> 01:10:50,314 How to pine artistically? 966 01:10:50,314 --> 01:10:52,982 27 names for tears? 967 01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:01,991 All I can say is... 968 01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:03,693 keep your bags packed. 969 01:11:07,564 --> 01:11:10,467 MARK: I feel like a stranger in my own goddamn house. 970 01:11:10,467 --> 01:11:12,068 I feel like you two live here, 971 01:11:12,068 --> 01:11:14,338 and I'm allowed to stay here once in a while. 972 01:11:14,338 --> 01:11:16,272 CLAIRE: Maybe if you gave a little bit! 973 01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:19,175 Again! "Why can't I give more? "Why can't I talk more?" 974 01:11:19,175 --> 01:11:20,544 "Why can't I be here more?" 975 01:11:20,544 --> 01:11:23,179 Because I work! Because I have a job. 976 01:11:23,179 --> 01:11:24,414 That's not fair. 977 01:11:24,414 --> 01:11:27,016 I give you everything that you ask for, 978 01:11:27,016 --> 01:11:29,285 and still it's not enough. 979 01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:32,021 No, not everything. Not everything. 980 01:11:32,021 --> 01:11:33,423 You promised, 981 01:11:33,423 --> 01:11:36,626 if we got another kid, things would change. 982 01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:38,695 Mark, I'm trying, you know I'm trying. 983 01:11:38,695 --> 01:11:40,029 Trying is not good enough. 984 01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:41,398 You are falling apart again. 985 01:11:41,398 --> 01:11:42,899 We are right back to where we started. 986 01:11:42,899 --> 01:11:44,568 Yes we are. It is not working out, 987 01:11:44,568 --> 01:11:46,302 and I think we should send her back. 988 01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:51,007 You can't just send her back. 989 01:11:51,007 --> 01:11:52,876 Where's she going to go? 990 01:11:52,876 --> 01:11:54,511 They'll find some place for her. 991 01:11:54,511 --> 01:11:56,480 I can't believe it. You're just going to send her away? 992 01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:58,448 You take everything away, don't you? 993 01:11:58,448 --> 01:12:00,984 You just leave me here with nothing. 994 01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:03,420 Jesus Christ, you are such a bad actress. 995 01:12:03,420 --> 01:12:06,456 I really almost forgot. 996 01:12:06,456 --> 01:12:10,159 Okay, okay. 997 01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:13,162 I'll do what you say. I'll send her back. 998 01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:15,198 Okay? We can try that. 999 01:12:15,198 --> 01:12:16,466 Just don't go, okay? 1000 01:12:16,466 --> 01:12:17,801 Just don't leave me. 1001 01:12:17,801 --> 01:12:20,470 Unlike you, Claire, I work, remember? 1002 01:12:20,470 --> 01:12:23,473 Mm-hm. And... 1003 01:12:23,473 --> 01:12:26,776 is she going with you, your girlfriend? 1004 01:12:26,776 --> 01:12:29,212 I've had it with this, Claire. 1005 01:12:29,212 --> 01:12:30,947 I've really had it. 1006 01:12:36,886 --> 01:12:39,088 Astrid? 1007 01:12:57,507 --> 01:12:59,476 Astrid... 1008 01:13:04,914 --> 01:13:07,116 Astrid, please. 1009 01:13:42,986 --> 01:13:44,621 Claire? 1010 01:13:46,690 --> 01:13:49,025 Are you awake? 1011 01:14:02,572 --> 01:14:04,508 I'm sorry. 1012 01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:07,544 Are you all right? 1013 01:14:09,412 --> 01:14:11,014 Yeah. 1014 01:14:12,482 --> 01:14:14,484 Take my advice. 1015 01:14:14,484 --> 01:14:17,987 Stay away from broken people. 1016 01:14:20,256 --> 01:14:21,825 You can't send me back. 1017 01:14:23,359 --> 01:14:25,228 He's not coming back, Astrid. 1018 01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:30,634 He's going to divorce me. 1019 01:14:30,634 --> 01:14:33,236 You know, Claire... 1020 01:14:33,236 --> 01:14:35,004 it wouldn't be the worst thing. 1021 01:14:41,911 --> 01:14:43,580 I'm cold. 1022 01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:49,553 Cold. 1023 01:14:49,553 --> 01:14:53,122 Get in here with me. 1024 01:14:53,122 --> 01:14:55,224 Come on. 1025 01:15:05,368 --> 01:15:07,203 Stay with me, okay? 1026 01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:15,244 Stay with me, please. 1027 01:15:29,225 --> 01:15:31,260 Claire... 1028 01:15:34,998 --> 01:15:37,266 Claire? 1029 01:15:50,647 --> 01:15:51,815 Claire! 1030 01:15:51,815 --> 01:15:56,285 Claire... Claire! 1031 01:15:56,285 --> 01:15:58,487 Claire, wake up! 1032 01:15:58,487 --> 01:16:01,290 Claire, please! 1033 01:16:03,492 --> 01:16:04,628 God! 1034 01:16:04,628 --> 01:16:06,896 No! 1035 01:16:12,301 --> 01:16:15,304 Claire, please! 1036 01:16:18,041 --> 01:16:19,843 No! 1037 01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:43,633 Astrid. 1038 01:17:08,524 --> 01:17:09,959 What is it? 1039 01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:12,428 I'm back in Mac. Didn't they tell you? 1040 01:17:12,428 --> 01:17:14,463 No. 1041 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:16,900 Claire is dead. 1042 01:17:16,900 --> 01:17:18,334 She killed herself. 1043 01:17:18,334 --> 01:17:21,370 I'm sorry. 1044 01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:22,839 No, you're not. 1045 01:17:22,839 --> 01:17:27,176 You poisoned her, too, only this time you used words. 1046 01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:29,713 I told her what she already knew. 1047 01:17:29,713 --> 01:17:31,514 You were just jealous. 1048 01:17:31,514 --> 01:17:34,083 Of course I was jealous. 1049 01:17:34,083 --> 01:17:35,919 I live in a cell with a woman 1050 01:17:35,919 --> 01:17:39,288 who has a vocabulary of 25 words. 1051 01:17:41,925 --> 01:17:43,893 Why do you think they got you, Astrid? 1052 01:17:43,893 --> 01:17:45,995 To create a perfect little family? 1053 01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:48,031 People get babies for that. 1054 01:17:48,031 --> 01:17:50,633 Not teenagers recovering from bullet wounds. 1055 01:17:50,633 --> 01:17:52,168 You were on suicide watch. 1056 01:17:52,168 --> 01:17:54,337 And don't think this was the first time she tried it, either. 1057 01:17:54,337 --> 01:17:57,874 It's just the first time she pulled it off. 1058 01:17:57,874 --> 01:18:00,910 I'm not coming back. 1059 01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:04,347 I wanted to tell you that in person. 1060 01:18:04,347 --> 01:18:07,416 I'm going to leave you in here, alone. 1061 01:18:11,554 --> 01:18:14,357 I know you think I'm cruel. 1062 01:18:14,357 --> 01:18:16,325 I'm only trying to protect you from those people. 1063 01:18:16,325 --> 01:18:18,627 Those people are not the enemy, Mother. 1064 01:18:18,627 --> 01:18:19,829 We are. 1065 01:18:19,829 --> 01:18:21,197 You and me. 1066 01:18:21,197 --> 01:18:25,969 They don't hurt us. We hurt them. 1067 01:18:42,285 --> 01:18:44,453 You still ignoring me? 1068 01:18:50,326 --> 01:18:52,328 I turn 18 Saturday. 1069 01:18:52,328 --> 01:18:54,430 I'm going to New York. 1070 01:18:54,430 --> 01:18:56,833 I want you to come with me. 1071 01:18:56,833 --> 01:18:58,868 I can't. 1072 01:18:58,868 --> 01:19:01,470 Sure you can. Just leave. 1073 01:19:16,385 --> 01:19:18,487 Is it your mother? 1074 01:19:26,863 --> 01:19:28,497 Come on. 1075 01:19:28,497 --> 01:19:29,899 I'll get a job. 1076 01:19:29,899 --> 01:19:31,300 We'll find a place to live. 1077 01:19:31,300 --> 01:19:33,302 We'll be like we always talked about. 1078 01:19:33,302 --> 01:19:35,872 I don't want to go to New York. 1079 01:19:35,872 --> 01:19:39,108 I don't want to be with you. 1080 01:20:11,941 --> 01:20:13,342 She was with us for three years, 1081 01:20:13,342 --> 01:20:15,278 but her birth parents took her back. 1082 01:20:15,278 --> 01:20:17,346 We think you'd really like it with us, Astrid. 1083 01:20:17,346 --> 01:20:20,049 There are kids your age in our neighborhood. 1084 01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:28,457 Excuse me. 1085 01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:33,829 Don't worry about it. 1086 01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:37,700 She's had a very hard time recently. 1087 01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:40,569 Let me just talk to her, okay? 1088 01:20:46,775 --> 01:20:49,445 So, what's wrong this time? 1089 01:20:49,445 --> 01:20:52,115 I'm too old for them. 1090 01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,387 Look, the Greenways are great. 1091 01:20:58,387 --> 01:21:00,623 They've been doing this for years. 1092 01:21:00,623 --> 01:21:03,726 They've got a nice house with an extra bedroom for you. 1093 01:21:03,726 --> 01:21:05,594 They go to church. 1094 01:21:05,594 --> 01:21:07,696 Schools are good. 1095 01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:09,265 They don't smoke. 1096 01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:12,601 He makes his own beer. 1097 01:21:14,603 --> 01:21:16,339 I want her. 1098 01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:30,954 Workers of the world, arise. 1099 01:21:32,621 --> 01:21:34,357 You've got nothing to lose 1100 01:21:34,357 --> 01:21:39,628 but VISA card, Happy Meal, and Kotex with wings. 1101 01:21:42,031 --> 01:21:44,233 Christ, Thursday. 1102 01:21:53,176 --> 01:21:55,844 You, lazy bones. You want smoke? 1103 01:21:55,844 --> 01:21:58,147 I quit for the baby, Rena. 1104 01:21:58,147 --> 01:22:00,016 Why? You don't keep it, thank God. 1105 01:22:02,618 --> 01:22:05,454 You, cheerleader. You want smoke? 1106 01:22:05,454 --> 01:22:08,457 Russian cigarettes. No cancer. 1107 01:22:29,378 --> 01:22:30,446 Clothes. 1108 01:22:37,486 --> 01:22:40,689 Really nice. It was never worn. 1109 01:22:40,689 --> 01:22:42,558 What is this made of? 1110 01:22:42,558 --> 01:22:43,859 I don't know. 1111 01:22:43,859 --> 01:22:47,496 Why don't you just try it on and see how it looks? 1112 01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:52,835 Hey. 1113 01:22:52,835 --> 01:22:54,837 That's my dress. 1114 01:22:54,837 --> 01:22:56,105 These are all mine. 1115 01:22:56,105 --> 01:22:57,640 So? You get good price for them. 1116 01:22:57,640 --> 01:23:01,244 What do you need expensive clothes for, huh? 1117 01:23:01,244 --> 01:23:03,312 Maybe Melrose Place call you to be a star. 1118 01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,381 Someone gave them to me. 1119 01:23:05,381 --> 01:23:07,016 Even better. All profit. 1120 01:23:07,016 --> 01:23:08,351 That's why I love this country. 1121 01:23:08,351 --> 01:23:10,586 Because it loves money like I love money. 1122 01:23:10,586 --> 01:23:14,723 Hey. You make a price, I take 25%. 1123 01:23:14,723 --> 01:23:16,292 No. 1124 01:23:16,292 --> 01:23:18,727 What, you think you're going to sell it all by yourself 1125 01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:20,196 on the street corner? 1126 01:23:20,196 --> 01:23:23,866 I pay for stall, storage, gas. 1127 01:23:23,866 --> 01:23:25,334 They pay you, you pay me. 1128 01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:27,870 You still make profit. 1129 01:23:27,870 --> 01:23:32,141 Dead person who give you thing don't care. 1130 01:23:32,141 --> 01:23:34,177 The past is gone. 1131 01:23:34,177 --> 01:23:36,745 Sentimental is stupid. 1132 01:23:36,745 --> 01:23:38,614 It's smart to make money. 1133 01:23:40,049 --> 01:23:41,084 There's no price. 1134 01:23:41,084 --> 01:23:44,153 How about 20 dollars? 1135 01:23:44,153 --> 01:23:45,154 It's a Marc Jacobs dress. 1136 01:23:45,154 --> 01:23:46,822 It's only been worn once. 1137 01:23:46,822 --> 01:23:48,691 50? 1138 01:23:48,691 --> 01:23:50,459 100. 1139 01:23:54,497 --> 01:23:55,498 Thank you. 1140 01:24:00,303 --> 01:24:01,570 How was last night? 1141 01:24:01,570 --> 01:24:03,639 It was fun. 1142 01:24:03,639 --> 01:24:04,773 What did you do? 1143 01:24:04,773 --> 01:24:06,575 Watched TV. 1144 01:24:06,575 --> 01:24:11,647 You know who I saw? I saw Dan. 1145 01:24:11,647 --> 01:24:15,518 Don't you think Astrid would like him? 1146 01:24:15,518 --> 01:24:17,920 Astrid? 1147 01:24:17,920 --> 01:24:20,123 I'm Hannah. 1148 01:24:20,123 --> 01:24:22,658 This is Julie. 1149 01:24:22,658 --> 01:24:23,759 We went to your house, 1150 01:24:23,759 --> 01:24:26,629 but the Russian lady said you'd be here, so... 1151 01:24:26,629 --> 01:24:28,731 We visit your mother. 1152 01:24:28,731 --> 01:24:31,066 She's our project in Women's Studies. 1153 01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:34,203 What does she want? 1154 01:24:34,203 --> 01:24:36,004 Oh, no, she didn't send us. 1155 01:24:36,004 --> 01:24:38,607 We came on our own. 1156 01:24:38,607 --> 01:24:40,943 She asked us to mail you a copy of the interview. 1157 01:24:40,943 --> 01:24:42,411 Her show at Bergamot? 1158 01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:45,814 But then we thought that we could deliver it ourselves-- 1159 01:24:45,814 --> 01:24:47,082 Is that it? 1160 01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:49,318 Yeah. 1161 01:24:56,225 --> 01:24:57,926 What do you talk about? 1162 01:24:57,926 --> 01:24:59,228 All kinds of things. 1163 01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:00,829 Art, music.... 1164 01:25:00,829 --> 01:25:02,831 HANNAH: She talks about you. 1165 01:25:02,831 --> 01:25:04,233 Really? 1166 01:25:06,735 --> 01:25:08,371 What does she say? 1167 01:25:08,371 --> 01:25:10,839 That you're in a... 1168 01:25:10,839 --> 01:25:12,441 You know, fostered. 1169 01:25:15,344 --> 01:25:18,247 Look, she feels really terrible about what's happened. 1170 01:25:18,247 --> 01:25:21,317 So you thought you'd come out and what? 1171 01:25:21,317 --> 01:25:22,818 Adopt me? 1172 01:25:25,754 --> 01:25:28,324 You don't think she killed him, do you? 1173 01:25:30,125 --> 01:25:32,595 Something you should know. 1174 01:25:32,595 --> 01:25:33,862 She did. 1175 01:25:33,862 --> 01:25:35,198 I was there. 1176 01:25:38,201 --> 01:25:40,303 MAN: Oleander is poisonous. 1177 01:25:40,303 --> 01:25:41,937 I don't know why people grow it. 1178 01:25:42,905 --> 01:25:44,907 Open the door! 1179 01:25:47,109 --> 01:25:48,043 They can't keep me! 1180 01:25:48,043 --> 01:25:49,678 I'll be back in an hour! 1181 01:26:36,892 --> 01:26:39,328 Who is that? 1182 01:26:39,328 --> 01:26:41,330 I don't know. 1183 01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:42,531 You draw her all the time. 1184 01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:45,601 I think her name was Annie. 1185 01:26:45,601 --> 01:26:47,236 She's someone I remember. 1186 01:26:47,236 --> 01:26:49,538 I don't know who she was. 1187 01:26:53,242 --> 01:26:54,543 Check it out, you guys. 1188 01:26:56,879 --> 01:26:58,447 Rodeo Drive refugee. 1189 01:26:58,447 --> 01:27:00,949 Excuse me. Are you Rena Gruschenko? 1190 01:27:00,949 --> 01:27:02,285 Gruschenka. 1191 01:27:02,285 --> 01:27:04,687 If you come from I.N.S., I have a green card. 1192 01:27:04,687 --> 01:27:08,957 I've been all over this junkyard looking for you. 1193 01:27:11,026 --> 01:27:12,628 You must be Astrid. 1194 01:27:12,628 --> 01:27:15,331 I'm Susan Valeris, your mother's lawyer? 1195 01:27:19,101 --> 01:27:21,570 Cigarette? 1196 01:27:23,772 --> 01:27:26,241 Don't know why I never got around to quitting. 1197 01:27:26,241 --> 01:27:27,910 I do. All the prisoners smoke. 1198 01:27:27,910 --> 01:27:29,244 You can offer them one. 1199 01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:32,415 Your mother is very proud of you for not quitting school. 1200 01:27:32,415 --> 01:27:34,249 You graduate soon, don't you? 1201 01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:37,986 Are you making any plans for your future? 1202 01:27:37,986 --> 01:27:39,322 Yeah. 1203 01:27:39,322 --> 01:27:41,724 I thought I'd be a criminal lawyer. 1204 01:27:41,724 --> 01:27:43,392 Really? 1205 01:27:43,392 --> 01:27:44,960 Either that, or a hooker, 1206 01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:47,396 or a garbage collector. 1207 01:27:47,396 --> 01:27:49,532 Your mother said you'd be difficult. 1208 01:27:49,532 --> 01:27:51,934 Mother knows best. 1209 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:55,771 I know you've been through a terrible ordeal. 1210 01:27:55,771 --> 01:27:58,006 Three foster homes in three years, 1211 01:27:58,006 --> 01:27:59,074 a shooting, 1212 01:27:59,074 --> 01:28:00,476 the suicide of a foster mother. 1213 01:28:00,476 --> 01:28:01,944 I understand you were very close. 1214 01:28:01,944 --> 01:28:05,280 Did you ask your client about her involvement with that? 1215 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:06,815 You can't possibly blame her 1216 01:28:06,815 --> 01:28:09,385 for the death of a woman she only met once. 1217 01:28:09,385 --> 01:28:12,655 But I do blame her, Susan. 1218 01:28:12,655 --> 01:28:14,923 That's pretty cynical, Astrid. 1219 01:28:14,923 --> 01:28:18,894 You want me to lie for her in court, is that it? 1220 01:28:21,263 --> 01:28:22,765 Why do you hate her, Astrid? 1221 01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:27,803 Is it because you think she committed murder? 1222 01:28:27,803 --> 01:28:30,172 Or because you feel abandoned? 1223 01:28:30,172 --> 01:28:32,140 Talk to her. 1224 01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:33,376 People do change. 1225 01:28:35,444 --> 01:28:37,580 You should hear the way she talks about you. 1226 01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:40,949 She worries about you. 1227 01:28:40,949 --> 01:28:43,919 She asked me to find out if there's anything you need. 1228 01:28:43,919 --> 01:28:45,020 Money for college? 1229 01:28:45,020 --> 01:28:47,055 Car? 1230 01:28:47,055 --> 01:28:48,457 There's money behind her. 1231 01:28:48,457 --> 01:28:51,860 Just tell me what you want. 1232 01:29:23,626 --> 01:29:26,028 You are stupid girl. 1233 01:29:26,028 --> 01:29:31,567 You walk away from money to punish mother. 1234 01:29:31,567 --> 01:29:33,368 You want car? 1235 01:29:33,368 --> 01:29:36,472 You want art college? 1236 01:29:36,472 --> 01:29:37,840 All costs money. 1237 01:29:39,908 --> 01:29:42,511 You don't know anything about this, Rena, 1238 01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:44,947 so just stay out of it. 1239 01:29:49,384 --> 01:29:51,119 I have plan for you, anyway. 1240 01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:53,121 Oh, yeah 1241 01:29:53,121 --> 01:29:54,757 Niki leave soon. 1242 01:29:54,757 --> 01:29:59,194 And Yvonne is stupid girl. 1243 01:29:59,194 --> 01:30:01,930 Making third baby. 1244 01:30:01,930 --> 01:30:03,532 Every time she look at the window 1245 01:30:03,532 --> 01:30:05,200 to see baby's face, 1246 01:30:05,200 --> 01:30:06,469 baby gone, 1247 01:30:06,469 --> 01:30:08,837 then she cries like it's a big surprise. 1248 01:30:11,607 --> 01:30:12,575 But you... 1249 01:30:12,575 --> 01:30:14,543 you're a special girl. 1250 01:30:18,013 --> 01:30:19,682 You stay... 1251 01:30:19,682 --> 01:30:20,949 I make you partner. 1252 01:30:20,949 --> 01:30:23,218 Stay here? 1253 01:30:23,218 --> 01:30:26,955 You got better place to go? 1254 01:30:34,162 --> 01:30:35,598 Then go see mother. 1255 01:30:36,599 --> 01:30:37,966 She needs something from you, 1256 01:30:37,966 --> 01:30:39,535 you need something from her. 1257 01:30:39,535 --> 01:30:41,604 Go get it. 1258 01:30:47,109 --> 01:30:48,911 Here she comes. 1259 01:30:57,586 --> 01:30:59,387 Astrid, my God. 1260 01:30:59,387 --> 01:31:00,589 What's wrong, Mom? 1261 01:31:00,589 --> 01:31:02,157 You don't like my outfit? 1262 01:31:05,060 --> 01:31:08,196 I'll leave you two alone for a while. 1263 01:31:20,609 --> 01:31:22,144 So what's the story? 1264 01:31:22,144 --> 01:31:25,714 We didn't go to Mexico to buy DMSO? 1265 01:31:25,714 --> 01:31:27,516 Barry beat you? 1266 01:31:27,516 --> 01:31:30,352 He raped me? 1267 01:31:30,352 --> 01:31:33,021 How bad does he have to be to get you out of jail? 1268 01:31:33,021 --> 01:31:35,157 I can't believe what's happened to you. 1269 01:31:35,157 --> 01:31:37,359 When I get out, I'll make it up to you. 1270 01:31:37,359 --> 01:31:39,361 Who said you're getting out? 1271 01:31:39,361 --> 01:31:41,496 I said I'd talk to you. 1272 01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:43,365 I didn't say I'd do it. 1273 01:31:43,365 --> 01:31:46,468 Then what do you want? 1274 01:31:46,468 --> 01:31:49,104 I have a deal to make. 1275 01:31:49,104 --> 01:31:51,506 A trade. 1276 01:31:51,506 --> 01:31:55,377 You tell me the truth... 1277 01:31:55,377 --> 01:31:57,145 I'll lie for you in court. 1278 01:31:58,647 --> 01:32:00,583 The truth about what? 1279 01:32:00,583 --> 01:32:03,251 Everything you kept from me. 1280 01:32:03,251 --> 01:32:04,920 And if I don't? 1281 01:32:04,920 --> 01:32:06,589 Then you can rot in here. 1282 01:32:08,023 --> 01:32:09,725 I hate this look, by the way. 1283 01:32:10,793 --> 01:32:14,797 You're a Sunset Boulevard motel, 1284 01:32:14,797 --> 01:32:16,865 a $20 hooker in the back of a car. 1285 01:32:21,236 --> 01:32:22,738 Why did you murder Barry? 1286 01:32:25,574 --> 01:32:27,610 If I submit to this, you'll testify? 1287 01:32:27,610 --> 01:32:30,679 Yes. 1288 01:32:33,081 --> 01:32:36,885 Self-defense. He was killing me. 1289 01:32:36,885 --> 01:32:39,287 Claire didn't do anything to you. 1290 01:32:39,287 --> 01:32:40,689 Why did you go after her? 1291 01:32:40,689 --> 01:32:42,825 Claire went after herself. 1292 01:32:42,825 --> 01:32:46,194 I just showed her how to do it. 1293 01:32:48,563 --> 01:32:50,766 Who was my father? 1294 01:32:53,001 --> 01:32:55,303 Your father? Why do you always ask that? 1295 01:32:55,303 --> 01:32:56,805 It's ancient history. 1296 01:32:56,805 --> 01:32:59,041 It's my ancient history. Who was he? 1297 01:32:59,041 --> 01:33:02,711 His name was Klaus Anders. 1298 01:33:02,711 --> 01:33:04,312 What did he do? 1299 01:33:04,312 --> 01:33:07,249 He was an artist. 1300 01:33:07,249 --> 01:33:09,718 How did you meet? 1301 01:33:09,718 --> 01:33:12,688 At Venice Beach at a party. 1302 01:33:12,688 --> 01:33:14,556 He had the drugs. 1303 01:33:14,556 --> 01:33:17,559 Did you love him? 1304 01:33:17,559 --> 01:33:20,328 It was a long time ago. 1305 01:33:20,328 --> 01:33:22,264 I'm not the same person. 1306 01:33:22,264 --> 01:33:25,333 Liar. You're exactly the same. 1307 01:33:25,333 --> 01:33:27,202 Answer the question. 1308 01:33:27,202 --> 01:33:28,737 You're such a child. 1309 01:33:28,737 --> 01:33:30,739 You've taken my propaganda for truth. 1310 01:33:30,739 --> 01:33:32,574 So set me straight. 1311 01:33:32,574 --> 01:33:33,942 Did you love him? 1312 01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:40,015 We had a very sexual relationship. 1313 01:33:40,015 --> 01:33:41,884 One overlooks many things. 1314 01:33:41,884 --> 01:33:43,085 You worshipped him. 1315 01:33:43,085 --> 01:33:44,586 I read it in your journal. 1316 01:33:44,586 --> 01:33:45,754 "Worship" isn't exactly 1317 01:33:45,754 --> 01:33:50,225 the word we're looking for here. 1318 01:33:50,225 --> 01:33:51,226 Who was Annie? 1319 01:33:53,228 --> 01:33:54,496 What? 1320 01:33:54,496 --> 01:33:56,231 Who was Annie, Mother? 1321 01:34:02,037 --> 01:34:03,772 She was a neighbor who took in kids, 1322 01:34:03,772 --> 01:34:05,340 did people's laundry. 1323 01:34:05,340 --> 01:34:08,510 What did she look like? 1324 01:34:08,510 --> 01:34:12,981 Dark, curly hair, freckles. 1325 01:34:12,981 --> 01:34:16,184 Did she take care of me? 1326 01:34:23,759 --> 01:34:26,261 How could you possibly have remembered this? 1327 01:34:33,802 --> 01:34:35,437 It will only hurt you. 1328 01:34:41,744 --> 01:34:44,947 Imagine my life for a moment... 1329 01:34:44,947 --> 01:34:46,949 how unprepared I was 1330 01:34:46,949 --> 01:34:51,086 to be the mother of a small child. 1331 01:34:51,086 --> 01:34:53,655 I was used to having time to think, 1332 01:34:53,655 --> 01:34:55,891 and you just wanted, wanted, wanted. 1333 01:34:58,827 --> 01:35:01,296 I felt like a hostage. 1334 01:35:01,296 --> 01:35:03,465 Can you understand how desperate I was? 1335 01:35:18,513 --> 01:35:21,850 I dropped you off at her house one afternoon 1336 01:35:21,850 --> 01:35:27,022 to go to the beach with some friends. 1337 01:35:27,022 --> 01:35:31,126 And one thing led to another. 1338 01:35:31,126 --> 01:35:33,728 They had a place in Ensenada. 1339 01:35:33,728 --> 01:35:36,865 It was wonderful. 1340 01:35:36,865 --> 01:35:38,733 You can't imagine... 1341 01:35:38,733 --> 01:35:42,737 To take a nap in the afternoon... 1342 01:35:42,737 --> 01:35:46,074 to make love all day if I wanted 1343 01:35:46,074 --> 01:35:47,910 and not have to think, "What's Astrid doing? 1344 01:35:47,910 --> 01:35:49,377 Where's Astrid?" 1345 01:35:49,377 --> 01:35:51,980 "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy," clinging to me like a spider. 1346 01:35:51,980 --> 01:35:54,983 At the end of it, 1347 01:35:54,983 --> 01:35:58,486 I just wanted to throw you against a wall. 1348 01:36:03,525 --> 01:36:07,362 How long were you gone? 1349 01:36:08,831 --> 01:36:11,099 About a year. 1350 01:36:11,099 --> 01:36:13,035 Give or take a few months. 1351 01:36:15,103 --> 01:36:16,304 My God. 1352 01:36:16,304 --> 01:36:18,440 But you're not asking the right question. 1353 01:36:18,440 --> 01:36:21,376 Don't ask me why I left. 1354 01:36:21,376 --> 01:36:23,778 Ask me why I came back. 1355 01:36:23,778 --> 01:36:25,513 You should have been sterilized. 1356 01:36:25,513 --> 01:36:26,915 I could have left you there, 1357 01:36:26,915 --> 01:36:28,116 but I didn't. 1358 01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:30,518 Don't you understand? 1359 01:36:30,518 --> 01:36:34,923 For once, I did the right thing. 1360 01:36:34,923 --> 01:36:36,724 When I came back, you knew me. 1361 01:36:36,724 --> 01:36:39,061 You were sitting by the door, 1362 01:36:39,061 --> 01:36:40,929 and you looked up... 1363 01:36:40,929 --> 01:36:42,597 and you reached for me. 1364 01:36:42,597 --> 01:36:46,801 It was as if you had been waiting for me all along. 1365 01:36:46,801 --> 01:36:48,403 I was always waiting for you, Mother. 1366 01:36:48,403 --> 01:36:52,407 That's the constant in my life. Waiting for you. 1367 01:36:52,407 --> 01:36:53,675 Will you come back? 1368 01:36:53,675 --> 01:36:56,678 Will you forget you tied me up in front of the store 1369 01:36:56,678 --> 01:36:58,680 or left me on a bus? 1370 01:36:58,680 --> 01:36:59,915 Are you still waiting? 1371 01:36:59,915 --> 01:37:02,217 No. 1372 01:37:02,217 --> 01:37:05,954 I stopped when Claire showed me what it felt like to be loved. 1373 01:37:05,954 --> 01:37:08,924 What did you think? 1374 01:37:08,924 --> 01:37:10,492 That I would amuse you? 1375 01:37:10,492 --> 01:37:13,095 That's what babies are like, Mother. 1376 01:37:13,095 --> 01:37:14,529 What did you think? 1377 01:37:14,529 --> 01:37:16,298 That we'd exchange thoughts on Joseph Brodsky? 1378 01:37:16,298 --> 01:37:19,101 I thought Klaus and I would live happily ever after. 1379 01:37:19,101 --> 01:37:21,937 Adam and Eve in a vine-covered shack. 1380 01:37:21,937 --> 01:37:23,671 I must have been out of my mind. 1381 01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:24,973 You were in love with him. 1382 01:37:24,973 --> 01:37:26,808 Yes, I was in love with him, all right? 1383 01:37:26,808 --> 01:37:28,076 I was in love with him, 1384 01:37:28,076 --> 01:37:30,212 "baby makes three" and all that crap. 1385 01:37:30,212 --> 01:37:32,180 Then why did you leave him? 1386 01:37:33,315 --> 01:37:35,650 Why did you leave him? I didn't leave him. 1387 01:37:35,650 --> 01:37:37,619 He left me. 1388 01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:42,991 You want to know about your father? 1389 01:37:42,991 --> 01:37:44,993 He left us when you were six months old 1390 01:37:44,993 --> 01:37:46,128 for another woman. 1391 01:37:46,128 --> 01:37:47,795 I never saw him again 1392 01:37:47,795 --> 01:37:49,531 until he showed up looking for you 1393 01:37:49,531 --> 01:37:52,000 when you were 8 years old. 1394 01:37:52,000 --> 01:37:53,068 He came to see me? 1395 01:37:53,068 --> 01:37:54,336 Yes, he came to see you, 1396 01:37:54,336 --> 01:37:57,139 but it was a little late, wasn't it? 1397 01:37:57,139 --> 01:37:59,807 Why should I let him see you after what he did to me? 1398 01:37:59,807 --> 01:38:02,077 Because it wasn't about you! 1399 01:38:02,077 --> 01:38:04,412 It was about me, and I wanted to see him! 1400 01:38:04,412 --> 01:38:07,215 My whole life, I've wanted to see him. 1401 01:38:07,215 --> 01:38:09,284 That decision was mine, not yours! 1402 01:38:09,284 --> 01:38:13,388 Everything has always been about you, never about me. 1403 01:38:13,388 --> 01:38:17,259 I knew you were going to kill Barry, 1404 01:38:17,259 --> 01:38:19,294 but you didn't even care. 1405 01:38:19,294 --> 01:38:23,431 You didn't give a damn about what that would do to me. 1406 01:38:23,431 --> 01:38:25,968 I'll say whatever Susan wants me to say, 1407 01:38:25,968 --> 01:38:28,003 but I've got to get out of here. 1408 01:38:28,003 --> 01:38:30,038 No. You don't just walk away from me. 1409 01:38:30,038 --> 01:38:31,106 I made you. 1410 01:38:31,106 --> 01:38:33,375 I'm in your blood. 1411 01:38:33,375 --> 01:38:35,910 You don't go anywhere until I let you go. 1412 01:38:35,910 --> 01:38:38,646 Then let me go. 1413 01:38:44,586 --> 01:38:46,788 You look at me... 1414 01:38:46,788 --> 01:38:50,325 and you don't like what you see. 1415 01:38:50,325 --> 01:38:55,130 But this is the price, Mother. The price of belonging to you. 1416 01:38:55,130 --> 01:38:59,667 If I could, I'd take it all back. 1417 01:38:59,667 --> 01:39:01,103 I would. 1418 01:39:04,306 --> 01:39:06,674 Then tell me you don't want me to testify. 1419 01:39:08,943 --> 01:39:11,213 Tell me you don't want me like this. 1420 01:39:16,751 --> 01:39:19,321 Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your life 1421 01:39:19,321 --> 01:39:23,691 to have me back the way I was. 1422 01:39:35,403 --> 01:39:38,106 Listen, forget it. A deal's a deal. 1423 01:39:38,106 --> 01:39:41,976 Let's leave it at that. 1424 01:40:04,566 --> 01:40:05,667 Excuse me. 1425 01:40:05,667 --> 01:40:07,535 It's probably a waste of time, but... 1426 01:40:07,535 --> 01:40:10,605 I'm looking for someone who used to come in here? 1427 01:40:10,605 --> 01:40:12,740 His name is Paul Trout. 1428 01:40:12,740 --> 01:40:13,741 You Astrid? 1429 01:40:13,741 --> 01:40:14,742 Yeah. 1430 01:40:25,187 --> 01:40:28,190 He said you'd turn up. 1431 01:40:31,726 --> 01:40:33,628 Thanks. 1432 01:42:01,749 --> 01:42:03,918 What's going on? 1433 01:42:03,918 --> 01:42:05,887 I don't know. 1434 01:42:12,327 --> 01:42:14,095 Excuse me. Is it a recess? 1435 01:42:14,095 --> 01:42:17,131 No. Jury's out. 1436 01:42:30,678 --> 01:42:32,914 Don't you need me to testify? 1437 01:42:32,914 --> 01:42:37,319 Your mother told me to leave you alone. 1438 01:43:29,136 --> 01:43:30,905 What happened? 1439 01:43:34,075 --> 01:43:35,943 She let me go. 1440 01:43:54,128 --> 01:43:56,631 ASTRID: Two years after Paul and I moved to New York, 1441 01:43:56,631 --> 01:43:59,834 I received a letter from my mother. 1442 01:43:59,834 --> 01:44:03,971 In it was a copy of the Los Angeles Times Magazine, 1443 01:44:03,971 --> 01:44:06,641 my mother on the cover. 1444 01:44:06,641 --> 01:44:08,643 A Santa Monica gallery 1445 01:44:08,643 --> 01:44:10,712 had mounted a showing of her work. 1446 01:44:10,712 --> 01:44:12,414 The Times included 1447 01:44:12,414 --> 01:44:13,915 seven pages 1448 01:44:13,915 --> 01:44:18,386 of her hauntingly distant prison collages. 1449 01:44:18,386 --> 01:44:20,988 She stares out from the cover... 1450 01:44:20,988 --> 01:44:24,959 the bars of her cell behind her. 1451 01:44:24,959 --> 01:44:26,928 Beautiful. 1452 01:44:26,928 --> 01:44:29,130 Dangerous. 1453 01:44:29,130 --> 01:44:32,266 Proud. 1454 01:44:32,266 --> 01:44:33,968 The Times said her lawyer 1455 01:44:33,968 --> 01:44:37,739 was close to winning a retrial after a first failed appeal. 1456 01:44:37,739 --> 01:44:41,008 They called her show a triumph. 1457 01:44:44,812 --> 01:44:46,414 It's too much 1458 01:44:46,414 --> 01:44:48,082 to imagine her tempering her joy 1459 01:44:48,082 --> 01:44:50,117 with a moment of grief... 1460 01:44:50,117 --> 01:44:55,089 a moment for what that triumph had cost. 1461 01:44:55,089 --> 01:44:59,093 These suitcases are a map of that country... 1462 01:44:59,093 --> 01:45:02,330 a terrible country I will never revisit. 1463 01:45:07,134 --> 01:45:12,407 Even so, I find myself thinking of her, 1464 01:45:14,308 --> 01:45:16,444 wanting to feel that wind. 1465 01:45:19,313 --> 01:45:21,983 It's a secret wanting... 1466 01:45:21,983 --> 01:45:25,052 like a song I can't stop humming, 1467 01:45:25,052 --> 01:45:27,989 or loving someone you can never have. 1468 01:45:32,760 --> 01:45:35,530 No matter how much she's damaged me... 1469 01:45:37,632 --> 01:45:41,603 no matter how flawed she is... 1470 01:45:41,603 --> 01:45:44,071 I know my mother loves me. 1471 01:45:49,977 --> 01:45:52,547 [SHERYL CROW'S "SAFE AND SOUND" PLAYING]