1
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:08,006
Hey, J.D.
You keep wheeling them in,
I'll keep wheeling them out.
2
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,275
Awesome appropriateness, Doug.
3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,011
J.D.: Carol,
we're ready for
our sponge bath.
4
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,681
Thank you, Carol.
5
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,150
Hey, why was your baby boy
dressed like Caesar
this morning?
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,453
I don't have clothes
for Sam at my house
7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,122
so I just cut
arm and leg holes
in a pillowcase.
8
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,491
The gold belt was just
so he wouldn't
feel ridiculous.
9
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,661
J.D., you're a parent now.
You gotta be better prepared.
10
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,496
Yep. That's why
we just stocked up
11
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:34,066
on extra baby oil,
lotion and diapers.
12
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,535
Why?
Is there a party
this weekend?
13
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,538
J.D.: Recently we realized
that with Todd,
14
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,907
if we didn't move
and stayed very quiet,
15
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:46,345
he'd eventually get
confused and leave.
16
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:50,982
Anyway,
much like one-hit-wonder
Natalie Imbruglia, I'm torn.
17
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,185
You see, on one hand,
I'm tempted to side
with the Gandhis.
18
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,187
You do need to buy
Sam some clothes.
19
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:59,491
On the other hand,
ever since you
two made a baby
20
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,061
you've become
an even more annoying
two-headed know-it-all.
21
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,329
Bing! Bing!
22
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,763
You hear that, Perry?
23
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:08,700
That's the sound
of your hate
bouncing off our love.
24
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,268
Bing! Bing!
Bing! Bing!
25
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,004
Attention, dum-dums.
26
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,673
Many of you have
been disregarding
27
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,042
the hospital's
12-hour shift policy.
28
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:20,178
Now, I don't care
if you think your
patients need you,
29
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,081
when your shift is over,
I want you to go home
30
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,783
to your sad,
empty lives.
31
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:29,888
Tired doctors make mistakes
and the hospital is liable.
32
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:33,758
Believe me, you do not
want to find yourself
in a court of law.
33
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,261
Tell them what
happens there, Ted.
34
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,731
Well, we'll all wear
long black robes
35
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:43,201
and beautiful white,
curly wigs.
36
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,436
That's England, Ted.
37
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,171
Are you sure?
38
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,608
Anyway, from now on,
anyone caught working
after their shift is over
39
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:54,279
will be sent home immediately
and docked a full day's pay.
40
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,514
Ciao.
41
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,052
Well, Marian,
your hepatitis test
came back negative.
42
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,920
That's good, right?
43
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,623
Yes and no.
I still don't know
what's wrong with you.
44
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,324
Well, you'll figure it out.
45
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,959
You're a good doctor.
46
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,094
Will do.
47
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,033
Hey, I'm going to lunch.
I took her culture
to the lab for you.
48
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,402
Thanks, Keith.
Yeah.
49
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,405
Wow, sounds like
he's finally over you.
50
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,074
No, he's still alternating
between angry name calling
51
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,743
and whiny pleas
to get back together.
52
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,445
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
53
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:29,380
Although, he did agree
to be civil while
he's inside the hospital.
54
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,715
Hello?
55
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,386
(SOBBING)
Why won't you love me?
56
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,456
Why don't you...
See you tomorrow, Keith.
57
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,891
Can you believe a month ago
you were gonna marry him
58
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,728
and I was gonna
move in with Kim
and then it all fell apart
59
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:46,631
when we had that
"almost moment"
in the on-call room.
60
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,667
You know, we never
talked about that.
61
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:52,003
What's there to talk about?
You just tried to kiss me.
62
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,973
J.D.: I tried to kiss her?
What the hell?
63
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:59,310
Wait a second.
There's nobody here to see
my "what the hell" face.
64
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:03,448
What is it?
And make it quick
so you don't bore me.
65
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,183
A few months ago,
Elliot and I almost kissed.
66
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,851
But now, she's saying...
Well, you tried your best.
67
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:08,186
Now, leave me alone.
68
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,621
Slaggy, you're up.
69
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,623
A genetic defect that
presents with anemia
70
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,025
and causes copper
build-up in the liver
and other organs,
71
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,193
destroying them.
72
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,795
What is Wilson's disease?
73
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,799
Yes.
Yes! In your face!
In your face!
74
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,503
What annoying thing
is happening now?
75
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,605
They're playing
Diagnosis Jeopardy.
76
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,640
When you win
you get to gloat.
It's so stupid.
77
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,509
You never got to gloat,
did you?
78
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:33,211
I don't believe in gloating.
It's tacky.
79
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,147
A condition in
which the patient speaks
in previously unknown dialect
80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,115
due to severe
brain trauma.
81
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,653
What is Foreign
Accent Syndrome!
Yes! In your faces!
82
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,055
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Or should I say
in your faces.
83
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,458
Hello, governor.
84
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,861
Throw another shrimp
on the barbie for me.
85
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,229
Wait, that's Irish.
86
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,898
You're an idiot.
87
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,899
Now, I have to go start work.
88
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,735
Because in spite
of all of you,
89
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,703
I'm going to have
a great day.
90
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,541
That was the worst day
I've have ever had.
91
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:03,942
Daddy's home!
92
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,644
Come here,
little Jackie boy.
Give me a big kiss.
93
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,211
I love you, puppy.
Good night.
94
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,379
Where the hell
are you going?
95
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,747
It's your night
to tell him a story.
96
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,050
Oh, no, no, no.
I couldn't be
more wiped out.
97
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,618
The nanny's mom died
98
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,220
and I had to spend
the whole day sprinting
around the house
99
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,222
trying to avoid having
conversations with her.
100
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,623
You don't see me
crying about it.
101
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,025
So suck it up
and spin a yarn.
102
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,193
Yeah, Dad,
suck it up.
103
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,829
Okay, Jackie.
104
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,297
Will do.
105
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:34,572
There was once a nurse,
a surgeon, a doctor
and an idiot.
106
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:37,275
Does this hat
make me look fly?
107
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,844
Perry, he's four.
No hospital stories.
108
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,746
Fine.
109
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,983
There was once
a two-headed witch,
110
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,152
a princess
111
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,888
and a village idiot.
112
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,956
Does this hat
make me look flyeth?
113
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,958
It jingles when I shake it.
114
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,461
(JINGLING)
115
00:04:56,529 --> 00:05:00,031
♪ I can't do this
all on my own
116
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,532
♪ No, I know
117
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,634
♪ I'm no Superman
118
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,607
♪ I'm no Superman ♪
119
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,007
Are you all
tucked in there?
120
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,375
Yep.
121
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,311
Okay, here we go.
122
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:17,215
Once upon a time,
a long time ago,
123
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:20,518
there was a little village
known as Sacred Heartia.
124
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,327
Damn it, Giant.
Why is this village
so filthy?
125
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,495
Well, irritable
townswoman of color,
126
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,732
it could be
because this town's roads
are paved with mud.
127
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,733
Or maybe it's because
I've been swabbing
everyone's porch
128
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,302
with ox urine.
129
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,838
I jest. Only yours.
You know why?
130
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,342
You've been telling
people I eat babies.
I don't eat babies.
131
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:48,012
With babies,
it's a minute on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
132
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,414
I eat toddlers.
133
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,416
I thought you said
she'd be dead already.
134
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:52,851
Come back later.
135
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,187
Say, do you have any babies...
136
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,321
Toddlers on that cart?
137
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,259
Nope.
Well, off to work.
138
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:06,530
COX: On the outskirts of town,
the Princess' handmaiden
was in dire straits,
139
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:09,634
so Her Highness
sent out a call for help.
140
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,169
Good morrow.
141
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,672
That's funny, I requested
someone strong and brave.
142
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,607
And yet here stands
the Village Idiot.
143
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:19,678
Hey, I'm brave.
I just saved this
fish from drowning.
144
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:22,947
Off you go, little buddy.
145
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:26,484
He's tired now.
Earlier he was
dancing all around.
146
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,719
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
147
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,086
Run free! Run!
148
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,455
COX: Now, this was
no ordinary idiot.
149
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,158
He was a colossal idiot.
150
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,960
I mean, such an idiot
that other idiots would...
151
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,496
Daddy!
I'm very sorry, dear,
152
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,032
I just wanted to be
real clear with you
153
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,534
about how big an idiot
he actually was.
154
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:48,573
In any case,
the Princess and the Idiot
had had a sordid past.
155
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,142
Look, Your Highness,
I just came by so
you could apologize
156
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,677
for saying I tried
to kiss you,
157
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,479
when, in fact,
it was your royal tongue
158
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,915
that tried to storm
my mouth-castle.
159
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,549
That's not how I recall it.
160
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:02,053
Come on. You closed
your eyes and started
heaving your bosoms
161
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,923
up and down
and up and down.
162
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:08,259
Yeah, that's called breathing.
I'm doing it now.
163
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,627
I know.
164
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,996
Can I rest my face on them
and ponder what you've said?
165
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,598
No!
Okay.
166
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,167
My poor maiden
is being tormented
by a terrible monster.
167
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,269
She grows weaker
by the minute.
168
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,905
A monster?
169
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,507
I mean, she looks ill,
but I think
it's a bit of a leap
170
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,542
to say it's the work
of a monster.
171
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,578
(ROARING)
172
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,415
There's a monster
in there.
173
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,156
J.D., she's febrile,
her liver's enlarged,
174
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,690
and her kidneys
are shutting down.
175
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,393
Are you gonna
help me or not?
176
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,727
I will.
177
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,395
(HORSE NEIGHING)
178
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,663
ELLIOT: Keith?
179
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,301
Perhaps if I can
save your maiden,
180
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,203
the soil of your
heart will soften
181
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,240
so I can once again
plant the seed
of our love.
182
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,710
Yeah, look, Prince, this?
It's not happening, okay?
183
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,511
Time to move on.
184
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:03,415
Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to get back
the key to my chastity belt.
185
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,549
Fine.
186
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,687
Come along, Peppermint.
187
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,625
(PRINCESS SIGHS)
188
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:18,062
That is gonna make
so many things
so much easier.
189
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,765
Why'd you send him away?
We could've used his help.
190
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,369
(COUGHS)
191
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:25,537
We...
Can...
192
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:26,637
...help...
...your...
193
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,005
...Highness.
194
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,807
COX: The Turla was once
two separate witches.
195
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,211
But when they married,
they merged into one.
196
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,613
It made for some
awkward situations.
197
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:36,748
That's...
What...
198
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:37,948
...I'm...
...talking...
199
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,884
...about!
200
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,553
Turla, how can we
defeat the monster?
201
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,721
We...
Must...
202
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,156
...go...
...to...
203
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,825
...the...
...delicatessen.
204
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,393
What?
205
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,495
I knew they just did
that alternating words
thing to bug me.
206
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,229
Now, meet us
at the potion shop
207
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,465
so we can get a spell
to stop that monster.
208
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,901
But first,
we must stop
at the drugstore.
209
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,970
I need to pick up
something for her
time of the month.
210
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,905
It's our
time of the month.
211
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,673
Is that why
I keep crying
for no damn reason?
212
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,642
'Cause I didn't
ask for this.
213
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,910
Do we look fat?
214
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,144
We look beautiful, baby.
215
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,313
You sure?
We do.
216
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,882
How are we
gonna get there?
217
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,518
Don't worry.
I got a sweet ride.
218
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,356
This is mortifying.
219
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,491
Don't listen
to her, Sasha.
220
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:24,195
Idiot, I have to ask.
How do you get
your hair like that?
221
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,464
You like it? I do it myself.
222
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,601
It's one part horse manure,
one part river mud
223
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,870
and a touch of my
special ingredient.
224
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,738
More horse manure.
225
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,506
Uh-oh.
226
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,141
It's the
Dark Lord's toadie.
227
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,377
My master approaches.
228
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:42,881
Prepare yourselves
for his untamed vengeance.
229
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,953
COX: The Dark Lord Oslek
was the evil ruler
of the entire land.
230
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,488
Hey, gang.
How you holding up?
231
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,057
That is
a sharp-looking donkey.
232
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,191
Told you.
233
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,194
No speaking!
234
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,162
A warning to all.
235
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,999
Any who dare set foot
in my Forbidden Forest
236
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:04,135
shall forever disappear.
237
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:08,473
I was in
the Forbidden Forest earlier
today and I'm still here.
238
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,740
Where'd he go?
239
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,910
Where'd he go?
What? Where...
240
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,577
(SCREAMING)
241
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:18,716
Murphy's shift
ended 20 minutes ago
and he was still here.
242
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,485
So now he's going
home without pay.
243
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:23,087
If anyone would like
to join him, test me.
244
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,957
I should at least take
that body downstairs.
245
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,594
I said out!
246
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,130
Take care of that.
247
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,435
(CRACKING)
248
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,470
Oh, man.
249
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,307
There goes my back.
250
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,212
Were you guys able
to get that C-Diff
test I ordered?
251
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,880
Lab's all backed up.
252
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,348
We need
those results now.
253
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,517
I'll handle this.
254
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:53,751
I'll stay here.
255
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,486
God help me,
I wish you could.
256
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,154
God help me,
I wish you could.
257
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,727
We need
a monster-fighting potion.
258
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,862
Sorry, this customer
here is next.
259
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,799
What the hell are you?
260
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,701
I'm the Fairy
Toddsomething.
261
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,136
Well, step aside,
lest ye be dealt with.
262
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,205
Turk, wand.
263
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,842
Yeah, about the wand,
I may have let
the Idiot borrow it.
264
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,279
Oh, man.
265
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,617
You know, I have a big wand
if you want to hold it.
266
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,753
Of course,
when it comes to magic
I just do this.
267
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,388
Banana hammock!
268
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,723
Fairy-Five.
269
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,392
Turk, no!
270
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,428
You don't let us go first,
I'll never let him
high-five you again.
271
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,797
After you.
272
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,966
Still-Can-High-Five-Five?
273
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,335
Coming at you.
274
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,504
I love slapping people five.
275
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,075
Your shoelace is untied.
276
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,776
Hey. Thanks, man.
277
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,445
You know how
dangerous this is?
278
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,515
My uncle's whole family
was killed by an untied lace.
279
00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,251
Christmas morning, they're all
running down the stairs,
they tripped,
280
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,120
and a madman
hacked them all to pieces.
281
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,587
I owe you one.
282
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,523
Can't wait.
283
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,124
Guess who got
the lab results?
284
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,826
You guys are amazing.
285
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,464
Damn. C-Diff is negative.
286
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:17,368
She's getting worse
and we're not any closer
to figuring out why.
287
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,003
I gotta page him.
288
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,278
(SIGHING)
289
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,213
And now we wait.
290
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,349
Hey, can you
get rid of this tail?
291
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,518
No problem, buddy.
292
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,952
I meant with magic!
293
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,821
He's here.
294
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,623
COX: And then, before them,
295
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:42,026
appeared the bravest,
most handsome knight
296
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,129
that any of them
had ever seen.
297
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,934
Princess.
298
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:52,903
Princess.
299
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,842
Brave Knight,
my poor maiden is
being held captive
300
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,844
by a monster that
can't be beaten.
301
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:03,181
There is no such thing
as a monster that
can't be beaten.
302
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,617
Hey, you,
hang on to that.
303
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,290
You know,
I miss hanging
out with you.
304
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,024
Like, alone.
305
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,893
There's not much I can do.
306
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:19,930
Last night, I had some grog
with a guy whose hutmate
is a barrel maker.
307
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:22,032
Let's just say,
the guy has a saw...
308
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:26,337
Be careful or I'll make
your chin disappear.
Oh, too late.
309
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,505
That's not nice.
310
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,640
Look. The battle has begun.
311
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,780
My name
is Percival Cox.
312
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:38,282
You're killing my friend.
Prepare to die.
313
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,285
(ROARING)
314
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,529
That's new.
315
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,898
I don't know what's scarier,
the monster or that
scary old lady.
316
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,101
What scary old lady?
317
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,903
(SCREAMING)
318
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,706
Very funny.
Perry, it's his bedtime.
319
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,540
But, Jordan...
But, Mom...
320
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,810
No buts. Lights out.
321
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,580
Psst.
322
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,650
Jackie.
Would you like to hear
the rest of the story?
323
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,219
Yeah.
324
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,488
Let's see. Where was I?
325
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,890
I remember.
Scoot over a second.
326
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,093
Give me some sugar.
All right.
327
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,529
The Knight was getting
his ass kicked.
328
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,703
That's new.
329
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,239
Oh, oh.
330
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,183
What's the monster like?
Is he nice?
331
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,522
That monster
cannot be slain
by sword alone.
332
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,358
Baby, maybe you could lull
the monster to sleep
333
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,760
by telling him one of
them boring-ass stories
about your family.
334
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,863
That's it.
335
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,766
Are you out
your mind, woman?
We only got one ball!
336
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:02,934
You were saying?
337
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,501
The only way to save
your fair maiden
338
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,770
is to go to
the Forbidden Forest,
339
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,839
and find the Golden Ring.
340
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,875
The Golden Ring? Why?
341
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:14,612
Because finding the diagnosis
is the only way to help her.
342
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,147
Right now,
you're just treating symptoms
343
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:17,682
that are leading you
down the wrong road.
344
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,884
You need to go back
to the beginning.
345
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,686
Back to every textbook,
every case study
you ever read.
346
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:26,557
And most importantly,
to find the Golden Ring,
347
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:30,528
you must remember
what you heard when you
weren't even listening.
348
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,397
"Remember what you heard
when you weren't
even listening"?
349
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,765
What the hell
does that mean?
350
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,467
I don't know,
but I can't find
anything in here
351
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,835
to explain her
kidney malfunction,
352
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:40,371
her lack of clotting
and the internal bleeding.
353
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,074
I feel like
we're just getting lost
deeper in the woods.
354
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,580
Your ass is bleeding.
355
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:50,815
Sasha, are you okay?
356
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,850
No, Idiot,
your ass is bleeding.
357
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,552
I know.
My tail was ripped off.
358
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,255
If it doesn't scab over,
my soul will leak out.
359
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,591
Why were you looking
at my ass anyway, Princess?
360
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,394
Missing what you could
have had when you tried
to kiss me earlier?
361
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,163
Good morrow.
362
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,200
Idiot. Princess.
363
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,169
You shouldn't be
in the Forbidden Forest.
364
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:13,537
The Dark Lord is near! Hide!
365
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,273
Come on, Sasha.
366
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,342
(HUMMING CHEERFULLY)
367
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,443
Evening.
368
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,616
They're gone.
369
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:26,750
(ELLIOT SIGHS)
370
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,352
Thanks.
371
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,554
Our shifts ended
a half hour ago.
We would've been screwed.
372
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,423
Well, this counts
as the one I owe you.
373
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,891
Fine, we're even.
374
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,326
Excellent.
375
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,163
(BOTH SCREAMING)
376
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,969
I'm going to miss
those two.
377
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,104
They never once
spit on me.
378
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,806
You seem like
a nice enough guy.
379
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,074
Why are you still working
for Lord Oslek?
380
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:55,279
I tell most people
it's because I'm under
an evil spell,
381
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,616
but really, it's a
self-confidence thing.
382
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,351
Yeah, I get that.
383
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,153
Say, you want to go
hollow out some villagers
and use them as kites?
384
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:04,555
Do I!
385
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,470
I can't believe
I'm gonna die with you.
386
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,339
Who said anything
about dying?
387
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,441
It's probably just
some harmless torture.
388
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:26,844
He's right,
it's not that bad.
389
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:30,013
Since we meet
our fate together,
I should tell you.
390
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,916
'Twas I that
tried to kiss you.
391
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,418
No, my lady.
392
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,886
We tried to kiss
each other.
393
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:41,125
And I know we were both
running away from things,
394
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:44,495
but do you think that
near kiss meant anything?
395
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,763
There's only one
way to find out.
396
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,106
Almost there, okay.
397
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,608
Can you... Little bit
of tongue maybe?
398
00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:01,012
Your time has come!
399
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:04,949
You're both suspended.
400
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,117
You can't do that.
401
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:07,618
This is my hospital.
402
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,052
I can do whatever I want.
403
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,155
Get it?
404
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,992
Sir, you can't suspend me,
I'm private practice.
405
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,694
And I've had zero
patient interaction,
406
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,296
so there's no
liability issue.
407
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,832
So this can't
come back to me?
408
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,034
No.
No.
409
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,301
Then get out.
410
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,204
(BOTH SCREAMING)
411
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,906
(COUGHING AND SPITTING)
412
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:30,874
Uh-oh.
413
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,477
A dab of manure...
414
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,847
Ta da!
415
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,849
Now where were we
in that dungeon?
416
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,385
Focus.
We have to save
my maiden.
417
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,355
But how are we supposed
to find the Golden Ring
in an endless forest?
418
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,123
(ECHOING)
Remember what you heard
419
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,824
when you weren't
even listening.
420
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,261
Am I imagining him?
421
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,663
Imagining who?
422
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,498
Asked and answered.
423
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,467
Hey, Idiot. Down here.
424
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,570
What's up, bro?
425
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:03,107
Wood nymphs.
426
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,775
I just remembered
something.
427
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,245
I was barely listening.
428
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,414
A genetic defect that
presents with anemia
429
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,716
and causes copper
build-up in the liver
and other organs,
430
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:13,850
destroying them.
431
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,087
What is Wilson's disease?
432
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,657
It's Wilson's disease.
433
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:22,693
This is for you.
434
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:31,736
The Golden Ring.
435
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,771
We must make haste
back to the maiden.
436
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,172
To Sasha!
437
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,010
We're doomed.
It's okay,
I still have Turla's wand.
438
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:45,382
What in the hell is going on?
439
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,184
Let me try that again.
440
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,387
Now that's more like it.
Hold this.
441
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,838
Hang on, Maiden.
We're here.
442
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:14,244
(ROARING)
443
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,462
How do we know for sure
it's Wilson's disease?
444
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,831
She'll have copper deposits
around her iris.
445
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,767
What does it look like?
446
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:40,705
A little golden ring.
447
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,180
That's a great diagnosis.
448
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,982
What are her chances?
449
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,452
Well, we've done all we can.
Now she needs a new liver.
450
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,387
We just got to hope
she gets one in time.
451
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,225
COX: And with
the monster gone,
452
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:05,629
all was once again well
in Sacred Heartia.
453
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,865
The Turla made
peace with itself.
454
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,869
Beautiful kites were flown.
455
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,336
Yeah!
456
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:16,206
And the Knight rode
off to fight again.
457
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,678
And the Idiot
and the Princess,
458
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:24,882
well, they decided
that their almost kiss
meant nothing.
459
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:33,724
Because in the end,
they were both idiots.
460
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,926
JACK: What about
the maiden?
461
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:39,597
What do you think, Jack?
She lived happily ever after.
462
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,503
Go to sleep.
I love you very much.
463
00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:50,641
(WHISPERS) So?
464
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,112
So what?
465
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:57,881
So did the girl make it?
Did she get a liver in time?
466
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:00,151
Is that how it really ended?
467
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,420
Let's just say,
468
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,690
that's the way
I'm telling it.