♪♪
[LAUGHTER]
♪♪
TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN HEAR THE SCREAMING.
AHHHH!
Irwin: 4.1, 2, 3, 4.
OK, IT WAS MISS MANGO
WITH THE VACUUM IN THE KITCHEN.
HEE HEE HEE! YEAH, IN YOUR DREAMS.
OK, HEE HEE HEE! MY TURN.
Mandy: HEY, GUYS. WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?
OH, WE'RE PLAYING A GAME CALLED
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, BUTTINSKY.
HEE HEE HEE!
WHO KILLED WHO...
THE FUN MYSTERY GAME FOR EVERYBODY.
EXCEPT YOU.
YEAH, NO GIRLS ALLOWED.
OH, I GET IT.
YOU'RE STILL BENT OUT OF SHAPE
BECAUSE I BEAT YOU THIS MORNING IN A GAME OF STARE.
DID NOT.
OH, YEAH.
YOU GOT BEATEN BY A GIRL.
YEAH, WHATEVER. YOU STILL CAN'T PLAY WITH US
BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL.
[BLOWS DICE]
Both: OH, NO!
IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF "KEEP OUT" SIGNS.
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU TWO TOUGH GUYS
ARE AFRAID TO GO GET YOUR STUPID DICE BACK.
BUT, MANDY, IT'S GONE OVER THAT FENCE.
SO?
Both: IT'S GONE OVER THE FENCE OF OLD MRS. DOOLIN'S PLACE.
SO?
BUT, MANDY, MRS. DOOLIN'S PLACE IS...
Both: HAUNTED!
HAUNTED? IT'S NOT HAUNTED.
OH, IT'S HAUNTED, ALL RIGHT.
OH, YEAH? AND HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S HAUNTED?
OH, I KNOW, MANDY.
I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THAT HOUSE.
Grim, voice-over: IT ALL STARTED MANY YEARS AGO,
SOON AFTER MRS. DOOLIN BOUGHT THE OLD PLACE.
IT WAS JUST SOME KIDS,
SOME KIDS PLAYING STICKBALL.
BUT THEN,
ON THAT HOT SUMMER'S DAY IN ENDSVILLE,
IT HAPPENED.
IT WAS THE LAST BALL THEY HAD.
SOMEBODY HAD TO GO GET IT.
Boy: I'll GET IT.
Grim, voice-over: IT WAS THE HUMMESKI KID...
LITTLE FRANKIE.
WELL, YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE LITTLE FRANKIE'S SURPRISE
IT WOULD TAKE SOME KIND OF MIRACLE
FOR LITTLE FRANKIE TO FIND THAT BASEBALL.
BUT OFF HE WENT IN SEARCH OF IT,
LIKE A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.
HE GOT DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO MRS. DOOLIN'S GARDEN.
[BIRD CAWS]
NOBODY REALLY KNOWS FOR SURE
IF LITTLE FRANKIE EVER FOUND THAT BASEBALL,
BUT ONE THING IS CERTAIN,
SOMEONE OR SOMETHING FOUND LITTLE FRANKIE THAT DAY.
EVERYBODY WAITED FOR HIM TO RETURN,
BUT LITTLE FRANKIE HUMMESKI NEVER MADE IT TO HOME PLATE.
Boy: AW, MAN. THAT WAS OUR LAST BALL, TOO.
Grim, voice-over: I'VE HEARD IT SAID.
THAT FRANKIE'S BONES WERE FED TO DOOLIN'S PET SPIDER,
AND THE REST OF LITTLE FRANKIE... WELL...
SEASONS CAME AND SEASONS WENT
AND TOOK OLD MRS. DOOLIN WITH THEM.
BUT IT WAS BUSINESS AS USUAL
FOR THE GHOST OF MRS. DOOLIN.
NOBODY WAS SAFE.
ANYTHING THAT WENT BEYOND THAT FENCE
NEVER CAME BACK.
NEVER!
HERE, LUCKY!
[WHISTLES]
HERE, BOY!
PSSH. WHO DOES THAT OLD FOOL
THINK HE'S KIDDING?
ONLY AN IDIOT WOULD BELIEVE THAT PILE OF...
Both: WHOA, THE GHOST OF MRS. DOOLIN.
OH, PLEASE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.
Billy: OH, YEAH?
WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK,
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE
AND GET OUR DICE BACK?
FINE, I WILL.
HA! SEE, YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO GO BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL.
BAWK BAWK BAWK!
SCAREDY GIRL!
I SAID I'll... MEOW! SCAREDY COW.
OOH, LOOK AT ME, I'M SCAREDY MANDY.
OOH!
DUDE? DUDE? CHECK IT OUT.
STUPID BILLY. SCAREDY CAT. STUPID.
NOW WHERE ARE THOSE STUPID DICE?
OHH.
STUPID SCARECROW.
[THUMPING]
STUPID BASEBALL.
HEY, YOU. LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?
ACTUALLY, YES.
I'M LOOKING FOR A PAIR OF STUPID DICE.
DO YOU MEAN THESE?
YEP, THOSE ARE THE VERY ONES.
WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM.
FINE, THEN. KEEP THEM.
FINE. THANKS. I WILL.
FINE.
FINE!
GOOD!
BOY, BILLY. MANDY SURE HAS BEEN GONE A LONG TIME.
HEE HEE HEE! YEAH.
SHE'S PROBABLY BEEN FED TO THAT SPIDER.
HEE HEE HEE!
Both: HEE HEE HEE!
YEAH, IN THE BALLROOM.
HEE HEE HEE! BY MRS. DOOLIN!
Both: HEE HEE HEE!
Mrs. Doolin: HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
GOOD SHOT, MANDY.
YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A WORLD CHAMPION
LIKE I WAS.
COME ALONG, MANDY.
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU IN THE KITCHEN.
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I HAD COMPANY.
HA HA! IT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
AH, MELON MAKES ME SMILE.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MANDY?
UH, UH...
LET'S RETIRE TO THE LIVING ROOM, SHALL WE?
[DUCK QUACKS]
Mrs. Doolin: OH, MY. WITH ALL THE EXCITEMENT,
I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT LITTLE FRANKIE.
LITTLE FRANKIE?
YES, LITTLE FRANKIE, MY PET SPIDER.
SPIDER?
YES, I NEARLY FORGOT TO FEED HER.
FEED HER?
THAT'S RIGHT. SHE LOVES MELON.
ISN'T THAT SO, MY LITTLE DARLING?
SO, SHE'S A VEGETARIAN?
THAT'S RIGHT. NO MEAT.
OR, SAY, BONES?
NO. HA! NO BONES, EITHER. WHY DO YOU ASK?
WELL, YOU SEE, SOMEBODY TOLD ME A...
[DOG BARKS]
WELL, LOOK WHO STOPPED BY TO SAY HELLO.
IT'S LITTLE... LUCKY!
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WERE SAYING?
ALL RIGHT. SOMEBODY TOLD ME A STORY THAT YOU FED
THE BONES OF SOME KID TO YOUR PET SPIDER
AND THAT YOU'RE REALLY A GHOST.
HA HA HA!
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN TALKING TO THAT OLD BAG OF BONES, GRIM.
EVER SINCE I BEAT HIM IN A STARING CONTEST,
HE'S BEEN MAKING UP ALL KINDS OF STUFF ABOUT ME.
IN FACT, HE'S NEVER FORGIVEN ME FOR BEATING HIM
IN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.
TENNIS, GOLF, AND OF COURSE,
THERE WAS THE LITTLE MATTER
OF THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD TITLE FIGHT.
AND THE DOG? HOW'D YOU GET HIS DOG?
I WON HIM OFF OLD GRIM IN A POKER GAME,
WHICH REMINDS ME, HERE'S YOUR DICE BACK.
OH, YOU CAN KEEP THEM.
THEY BELONG TO BILLY AND IRWIN,
MY TWO DORKY FRIENDS WHO WOULDN'T LET ME
PLAY THEIR STUPID GAME BECAUSE I WAS A GIRL.
OOH, THAT KIND OF STUFF MAKES ME CRAZY.
CRAZY.
CRAZY!
[WHISTLES]
HERE, LUCKY. HERE, BOY.
HA HA HA! WHO KILLED WHO?
I KILLED MANDY IN THE HALLWAY WITH THE DICE!
AHH, NO GIRLS ALLOWED! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!
Grim, voice-over: ANYBODY THAT'S EVER GONE IN THERE...
HELP ME. WOOF!
HAS NEVER COME BACK.
UH.
I GOTTA GET THOSE DICE BACK.
WELL, LOOK. HERE COMES YOUR FRIEND BILLY.
NOW IS OUR CHANCE TO GIVE HIM
A LITTLE LESSON IN FAIR PLAY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FEED HIM TO YOUR PET SPIDER, ARE YOU?
HA HA HA! OF COURSE NOT.
UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU... MM, NO.
TO WIN AGAINST A BOY LIKE BILLY,
ALL IT TAKES IS SOME GIRL POWER
AND SOME GIRL POWDER.
NOW WHERE ARE THOSE STUPID DICE?
THEY GOTTA BE... Mandy: BILLLY. OH, BILLLY.
MANDY, IS THAT YOU?
OH, MANDY, IT'S, UH, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
IS THAT SO, BILLY?
IS THAT SO?
NO! I MEAN... YOU'RE ALL WHITE... LIKE A...
GHOST?
UH, YEAH!
AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE
YOU WOULDN'T LET ME PLAY YOUR GAME,
BECAUSE I WAS A GIRL.
NO, I, UH... WELL, NOW THAT I'M A GHOST,
IT'S MY TURN TO PLAY WHO KILLED WHO.
"BEHIND YOU."
BEHIND ME?
BILLY IN THE H-H-HALLWAY WITH THE DICE BY...
BY... Mandy: BY... MEEEE!
Billy: I'M SORRY, MANDY! YOU CAN PLAY! YOU CAN PLAY!
GIRLS ARE ALLOWED!
WELL, WE BETTER CHALK UP ANOTHER WIN
FOR THE GIRLS, MRS. DOOLIN, RIGHT?
MRS. DOOLIN?
Mrs. Doolin, voice-over: HA! HE'S NEVER FORGIVEN ME FOR BEATING HIM.
IN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Grim, voice-over: I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THAT HOUSE.
Mrs. Doolin, voice-over: BEATING HIM IN JUST ABOUT...
EVERYTHING.
Mrs. Doolin, voice-over: AHA HA HA HA HA HA!
Doolin and Grim: EVERYTHING!
WOW! MRS. DOOLIN BEAT GRIM.
SHE BEAT DEATH.
HEY, MANDY, WATCH ME PULL A WEREWOLF OUT OF MY HAT.
AGAIN?
NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE.
PRESTO!
THIS STINKS.
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE WAITED
FOR A FULL MOON.
QUART OF MILK, LOAF OF BREAD, STICK OF BUTTER.
QUART OF MILK, LOAF... OF...
HUH?
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
WHEW! THE EARTH IS DEEP.
OOH. HIYA, IRWIN.
WANT TO HELP ME DIG TO CHINA?
[WOLF GROWL]
Grim: FULL MOON, FULL MOON, FULL MOON.
WOW! OH, NO.
[VOICE CRACKING] IT'S PUBERTY.
[GROWLING]
AROO!
AW. A PUPPY.
[HUMMING]
HI, MOM.
LOOK AT THIS PUPPY I FOUND TODAY.
CAN I KEEP HIM? CAN I? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!
OH, BILLY.
DOGS ARE FILTHY, DISEASE CARRYING GERM FARMS,
AND THEY SMELL LIKE GARBAGE.
[SNIFFS]
BUT I SMELL LIKE GARBAGE AND YOU KEEP ME.
I'M SORRY, BILLY, BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP THE DOG.
HEY, DAD, CAN I KEEP THIS PUPPY I FOUND?
UH, SURE, SON. JUST KEEP A LEASH ON HIM.
YAY!
[GROWLING]
DON'T WORRY, BOY. THAT'S JUST MANDY AND HER DOG... SALIVA.
WELL, ISN'T THIS QUAINT?
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SPRINKLES, MY NEW PUPPY?
WHY IS HE WEARING GLASSES?
HE'S A GENIUS.
THAT'S WHY.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
THAT'S A WEREWOLF, YOU CHIMP.
HE'S A DOG, AND HE'S WAY BETTER
THAN YOUR... DUMMY DOG.
I BEG TO DIFFER.
HEY!
YOUR DOG IS HARASSING MY DOG.
HERE, SPRINKLES.
HERE, BOY.
[CRASH]
OOH! A DOG SHOW!
[GROWLS]
OOH.
GRIM, WE'VE GOT A WEREWOLF PROBLEM.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
A REAL WEREWOLF WOULD NEVER USE THAT BRAND OF RAZOR.
NO. A REAL WEREWOLF.
BILLY MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT OUT OF YOUR STUPID HAT.
OH! IS IT TEARING HIM LIMB FROM LIMB?
NO.
OH.
BILLY IS ENTERING IT IN THE ENDSVILLE DOG SHOW.
I'M ENTERING SALIVA.
AND YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME WIN.
AND WHY WOULD I HELP YOU?
BECAUSE I OWN YOU.
OH, THAT.
Announcer: LIVE FROM DOWNTOWN ENDSVILLE,
THE 125th ANNUAL ENDSVILLE DOG SHOW.
THE CITY'S IN FULL SWING TONIGHT, FOLKS,
300 DOGS ALL COMPETING
FOR THE FANCY BEST IN SHOW TROPHY.
SOME BIG, SOME SMALL, SOME FAT,
SOME UGLY... AAH!
SOME JUST PLAIN UNLUCKY TO BE BORN.
YOU NAME IT, AND THEY'RE HERE. AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JUDGE WILMA LISTON!
[ONE PERSON CLAPS]
BRING OUT THE BEASTS.
[APPLAUSE]
Grim: OOH!
THAT'S A WEREWOLF, ALL RIGHT.
HMM, WHERE'S MANDY?
THE LEAST SHE COULD DO IS SMILE.
WELL, THEY'RE ALL LINED UP NOW,
AND OUR JUDGE IS GOING TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.
OK, SPRINKLES, ON YOUR TOES.
AND THE JUDGE HAS STOPPED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE WOLF DOG,
AND IT APPEARS SHE'S VERY MUCH INTERESTED.
[LAUGHING]
[CHUCKLING] NO, NO.
OH, HE'S A FEISTY ONE.
ONCE AROUND AGAIN, PLEASE.
[APPLAUSE]
ANOTHER PRANCE AROUND
FOR THE HUGE DOG WITH GLASSES AND ITS HANDLER.
AND NOW THE JUDGE IS GOING TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE REST OF THEM.
Wilma: HMM, HMM, HMM...
OK, SPRINKLES, DO YOUR STUFF.
[GROWLING]
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE THE REST OF YOU SHOW YOUR STUFF.
COME ON.
[TEETH CHATTERING]
[ALL WHIMPER]
[CHUCKLING]
GRIM, STOP THAT WEREWOLF.
[LAUGHING]
ALL RIGHT, I THINK I HAVE JUST THE TRICK...
A FLEA.
A FLEA?
NOT JUST A FLEA... A WEREFLEA.
Announcer: WELL, FOLKS, IT SEEMS JUDGE LISTON HAS MADE HER CHOICE.
ONLY A WEREFLEA CAN CURE A WEREWOLF.
[LOUD BUZZING]
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S IT.
THERE APPEARS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH BILLY'S DOG.
WHAT'S WRONG, SPRINKLES?
AROO!
IT'S WORKING.
[SCREAMS]
[ALL GASP]
IRWIN?
UH! MY EYES.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
OH, YEAH!
WE GOT OUR PICTURES IN THE PAPER.
CHECK IT OUT, IRWIN.
MANDY SURE WAS MAD FOR LOSING,
BUT SHE'LL GET OVER IT.
ARF! ARF!
[TIRES SCREECH]
[MAN YELLS]
[CRASH]
Irwin: I'M OK!
www.ncicap.org... [CRASH]