- [LAUGHING]
- SMILE.
TOMORROW WILL BE WORSE.
- YOU'RE TRAVELING INTO ANOTHER WORLD...
A WORLD OF NOT ONLY THE STUPID AND DUMB,
BUT OF THE REALLY STUPID
AND THE UNMERCIFULLY DORKISH.
A WORLD WHERE IT'S OK IF YOU CHEW YOUR TOENAILS.
YOUR NEXT STOP: THE BILLY ZONE.
WELCOME TO ENDSVILLE.
WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE A STRANGE TALE
ABOUT A BOY WHO INSPIRED A NATION
WITH HIS PAIR OF MAGICAL PANTS.
MEET BILLY'S DAD,
A HARD-WORKING, LOVING FAMILY MAN.
- SEE YA, HONEY! I'M OFF TO WORK.
- BUT NOT TOO BRIGHT.
MEET GRIM.
- PUT SOME PANTS ON, MAN!
YOU'RE BLINDING THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!
- THE GRIM REAPER HIMSELF...
FORCED TO BEFRIEND TWO MERE CHILDREN.
- HEY! I'M NOT FORCED TO DO ANYTHING.
I'M MY OWN MAN, MAN.
- GRIM, I NEED TO MAKE A DIORAMA
OF THE ENTIRE HUMAN DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
BY TOMORROW MORNING.
THE SCISSORS AND GLUE ARE ON MY DESK.
GET GOING.
- OH.
[MUTTERING]
- NOW MEET MANDY. SHE'S A...
- GET THAT STUPID THING OUT OF MY FACE, OR ELSE!
- UH, HERE'S BILLY,
THE BOY WHO WOULD CHANGE A NATION.
- HI, MANDY.
READY FOR SCHOOL?!
- GET LOST.
- HEY, BILLY.
HEY, BOO.
YOU GUYS ALL EXCITED ABOUT
THE PRESIDENT'S FITNESS TEST AT SCHOOL TODAY?
I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT ALL WEEK FOR IT.
FULL ABS AND PECS...
CHEST HAIR INCLUDED, BABY!
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MANDY?
YEOW!
- DO THE SAME THING WITH YOUR PERSONALITY, IRWIN,
AND WE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.
[RUMBLING]
- OH!
WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY FOR SCHOOL!
RIGHT, SON?
- RIGHT, DAD.
- GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FITNESS TEST TODAY.
MAKE ME PROUD, SON.
- AAGH!
- INCOMING.
- [SCREAMING]
- NERGAL JUNIOR.
- HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S UP?
- BYE, SON!
- YOU READY FOR THE FITNESS THINGY AT SCHOOL TODAY, JUNIOR?
- I DON'T HAVE TO BE READY, COUSIN,
'CAUSE I CAN CHANGE MY SHAPE TO MAKE MYSELF
AS MUSCULAR AND AS FIT AS I NEED TO BE.
SEE?
- THAT'S THE SECOND-MOST DISGUSTING THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
- SECOND?
- RACE YOU TO THE BUS STOP.
- YOU'RE ON!
- WAIT UP, GUYS!
I WANT TO RACE, TOO!
[GASPING]
MY LEGS!
MY LUNGS!
- FACE IT, DWEEB, YOU'RE OUT OF SHAPE.
- IT ISN'T TRUE!
- WHATEVER.
SEE YOU AT SCHOOL.
- [GROANING]
- ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS,
YOU'RE HERE FOR ONE REASON, AND ONE REASON ONLY:
TO BE TESTED ON HOW UNPHYSICALLY FIT
AND OUT OF SHAPE YOU PILES OF SNOT REALLY ARE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, GRIM?
- COACH FILBERMAN HAD A SLIGHT BRUSH WITH ME THIS MORNING
AND IS RECOVERING IN THE HOSPITAL...
FROM NO EXERCISE, TOO MANY DOUGHNUTS.
SO, I'M FILLING IN AS SUBSTITUTE COACH.
ANYWAY, LET THE TEST BEGIN!
- [ALL STRAINING]
- ALMOST... GOT IT!
[PANTING]
- PITIFUL.
- [SIGHS]
THAT MAKES 715
WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT.
- VERY GOOD, YOU LITTLE FREAK.
[TOOT]
- [STRAINING]
- 4,009.
ALL DONE.
- SHOW OFF.
- [STRAINING]
GOT TO... GET... ONE...
BEFORE HEAD EXPLODES!
ONE!
- AAH!
SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS.
- GRIM, GRIM, I DID IT!
ONE SIT-UP!
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'M GONNA HIT THE SHOWERS.
- YEAH, GO DO THAT.
YOU SMELL LIKE A BABOON'S HIND QUARTERS.
YOU'RE ALL PATHETIC!
THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!
IF YOU WERE HALF THE MUTANT JUNIOR IS,
MAYBE YOU ALL WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER.
- THAT'S TELLING 'EM, GRIM.
- YOU, MANDY, YOU'RE THE WORST OF THEM ALL!
- I DON'T DO EXERCISE.
UNDERSTAND?!
- YOU, BILLY, YOU'RE THE WORST OF THEM ALL.
- NOT THE WORST!
I CAN'T LET DOWN THE PRESIDENT.
- BILLY, THE PRESIDENT
DOESN'T ACTUALLY COME TO THESE THINGS.
- WE HAVE JUST ONE MORE TEST:
THE 50-METER RUN.
- OH, NO.
I'M NO GOOD AT RUNNING.
JUST LOOK AT HOW SHORT MY LEGS ARE.
- TOO BAD YOU DON'T HAVE POWERS LIKE ME.
THEN YOU'D WIN FOR SURE.
[CLOCK TICKING]
[DING] - I KNOW!
JUNIOR, JUNIOR!
YOU CAN TURN INTO ANYTHING, RIGHT?
- I SUPPOSE.
- I NEED YOU TO TURN INTO A PAIR OF PANTS
THAT I CAN WEAR SO I CAN WIN THE RACE.
- BILLY, THAT'S THE STUPIDEST...
COME TO THINK OF IT,
THAT'S PROBABLY THE SINGLE-MOST BRILLIANT IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD.
- I KNOW.
AND I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT.
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO DO THIS.
- I'VE NEVER TURNED INTO ANYTHING
BESIDES PEOPLE BEFORE, SO STAND BACK.
THIS IS FOR THE PRESIDENT.
- LET'S RACE.
- OK, YOU LITTLE MONSTERS,
HERE'S THE THING:
THIS IS THE FINAL EVENT OF THE PRESIDENT'S FITNESS TEST.
IF YOU WIN, THEN GOOD FOR YOU.
BUT IF YOU LOSE...
- THAT'S MESSED UP, YO.
- BILLY, I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS.
- STOP WORRYING.
THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN LOSE.
- ON YOUR MARK... GET SET... GO!
- [COUGHING]
- [WHISTLING]
[HUMMING]
YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE EXERCISE THING
IS ACTUALLY QUITE RELAXING.
OH! OH! THERE'S THE FINISH LINE!
- AND THE WINNER IS... BILLY!
- HUH?! I THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP BACK THERE.
- I CAN'T STOP, BILLY.
I TOLD YOU THAT I'D NEVER TRIED ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!
I CAN'T STOP RUNNING, AND I CAN'T CHANGE BACK.
- BILLY'S OUT OF CONTROL.
SOMEBODY DO... SOME... THING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE'S GONE.
LET'S GO SELL HIS THINGS.
- AAGH!
- INKLEBERT?
- HERE.
- MELVINA?
- HERE. - BILLY?
- AAGH! HI, MS. BUTTERBEAN.
AAGH! MY RUNAWAY PANTS! HELP ME!
- GOOD.
- HELP! HELP! MY PANTS!
MY PANTS!
- GUANTANAMERA, GUANTANAMERA.
WE GOT A SPEEDER.
I WILL PURSUE AND APPREHEND.
[SIREN]
- PULL OVER!
YOU'RE GOING 45 IN A 15-MILE-PER-HOUR ZONE!
I CAN'T STOP!
I'M RUNNING FOR THE PRESIDENT'S FITNESS TEST!
- MAN, THAT KID IS DEDICATED TO FITNESS.
- RUN, LITTLE PIGGY!
- RUN! - WHOO!
[HOOTING]
- ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, PRESIDENTS?!
MY THIGHS ARE CHAFFING!
- I CAN'T BREATH!
- LET ME GET A CHUBBY BURGER, FRIES, AND A VANILLA SHAKE!
- THAT'LL BE 8.75 AT THE FRONT WINDOW.
HERE'S... YOUR ORDER.
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING CHUBBY'S.
- [BURP]
- TODAY'S KIDS ARE GETTING FATTER AND LAZIER,
AND WHY? BECAUSE NONE OF THEM CARE ABOUT
BEING PHYSICALLY FIT.
ISN'T THERE ANY ONE CHILD WHO STILL BELIEVES IN BEING FIT?!
ONE?!
WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT THING?
- IT'S THE FITNESS LAD!
HE'S COMPLETELY DEDICATED TO FITNESS.
- GOOD AFTERNOON.
THIS IS NEWS REPORTER LILY WHITE
COMING TO YOU LIVE WITH AN UPDATE ON ENDSVILLE'S
SO-CALLED FITNESS LAD
WHO WILL NOT STOP RUNNING UNTIL HE PROVES TO THE PRESIDENT
THAT BEING PHYSICALLY FIT IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.
WE CAUGHT UP WITH THE FITNESS LAD
ON DAY 7 OF HIS CROSS-COUNTRY RUN,
AND THIS IS WHAT HE HAD TO SAY.
- I HATE MY PANTS.
- FITNESS-LAD-MANIA IS SWEEPING THE NATION
AS MILLIONS... - HE'S A CHARLATAN! A CHEAT!
HE'S NO HERO!
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BUY INTO THIS GARBAGE?!
- [CHEERING]
- THIS IS INDEED A PROUD DAY FOR AMERICA...
AS WE'VE PREPARED TO WELCOME BILLY, THE FITNESS LAD.
- HE'S SO DREAMY.
- RUN, BILLY, RUN!
- [CHEERING]
- BILLY, IT IS WITH GREAT PRIDE
THAT I PRESENT YOU WITH THE PRESIDENT'S FITNESS AWARD.
- AND SO BILLY AND JUNIOR KEPT ON RUNNING.
SOME SAY THAT THEY RUN TO THIS VERY DAY
CIRCLING THE WORLD TILL THE END OF TIME.
SO, REMEMBER, ONE PERSON ALONE
CANNOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
HE NEEDS A GOOD PAIR OF PANTS BESIDE HIM.
AND WHAT BECAME OF GRIM AND MANDY, YOU ASK?
- UM, EXCUSE ME.
WHO ARE YOU?
- WELL, I'M THE NARRATOR.
I TELL THE STORY.
- WELL, STOP MAKING CRUD UP.
THIS STUFF NEVER HAPPENED.
- YEAH! YOU'RE A DIRTY, DIRTY LIAR!
COME ON, BOYS!
- BUT, BUT...
I WAS JUST TRYING TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE!
- TURN THE CAMERA OFF!
THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
- [BANGING, GRUNTING]
- AAH!
TENDING THE GARDEN CAN BE QUITE RELAXING.
- EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
THE GRIM REAPER IS TENDING THE GARDEN AGAIN!
- HA HA HA HA HA HA!
- GRIM, WE'RE BORED.
WE NEED SOMETHING FUN TO DO.
- PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TRY GARDENING. I...
- BORING!
- WE WANT YOU TO USE YOUR SCYTHE TO OPEN A COSMIC RIFT
TO SOMEPLACE FUN AND CREEPY.
- YEAH!
AND POSSIBLY DEADLY.
- HMM.
MAYBE A TRIP TO THE PLANE OF ELEMENTAL FIRE
WOULD BE A GOOD BREAK FROM THE DOLDRUMS.
- MAKE IT HAPPEN.
- VERY WELL.
STAND BACK.
- YAY!
- BEHOLD THE COSMIC RIFT
THAT LEADS TO THE PLANE OF ELEMENTAL FIRE!
AH HA HA HA HA HA!
- [WHOOPING]
WHA-WHOO!
- STRANGE.
ME SCYTHE MUST BE GETTING DULL
FROM ALL THAT PRUNING.
IT USED TO BE SHARPER THAN MY RAPIER WIT.
- SO, THIS IS THE PLANE OF ELEMENTAL FIRE.
- OOH!
NOW, THAT'S A BRAT!
- OW!
- HEY! MY BRAT!
- GRIM, YOU'RE CRUMMY SCYTHE IS A PIECE OF CRUD!
- HOW DARE YOU?!
MY CRUMMY SCYTHE IS NOT...
I MEAN, ME SCYTHE IS NOT A PIECE OF CRUD.
- IS, TOO. - IS NOT.
- IS, TOO! - ALL SHE NEEDS IS A GOOD SHARPENING
AND SHE'LL BE GOOD AS NEW.
- OF COURSE, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME
SHARPENING THAT PIECE OF CRUD!
- WHY, YOU LITTLE...
- WHERE DID ALL THE PIECES GO?
WHOA!
LOOK AT THE LIGHT!
- POWER TOOLS IN THE DARK?
DARWIN SHOULD BE PAYING YOU GOONS A ROYALTY.
- GRIM JUST SHATTERED HIS PIECE OF CRUD SCYTHE
INTO ITTY BITTY PIECES.
- I MUST TAKE IT TO F IN THE UNDERWORLD AT ONCE.
ONLY HE CAN REPAIR IT.
- AND WHO IS THIS F?
- F IS IN CHARGE OF ALL THE TOP-SECRET
REAPING GADGETS OF THE UNDERWORLD.
- OH, AND JUST HOW WOULD DO WE GET THERE WITHOUT THE SCYTHE?
- THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS CARRY THIS LITTLE BLACK CARD.
COME ALONG THEN.
LEVEL F, BOY, AND MAKE IT SNAPPY.
- YOU GOT IT, MACK.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
HERE YOU GO, MACK.
LEVEL F.
- OH!
IT'S THE GRIM REAPER.
WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES.
TO WHAT DO WE OWE THIS HONOR?
- I BUSTED ME SCYTHE, MAN.
- AND SMALL WONDER, MAN.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS... THIS, UH...
- PIECE OF CRUD!
- RIGHT!
SO, HOW OLD IS IT THEN?
100 YEARS? 200?
- 2,000.
- WE'VE MADE A FEW INNOVATIONS
SINCE THE FIRST CENTURY, MR. REAPER.
ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU A FEW OF OUR LATEST GADGETS.
THIS IS WHERE WE CREATE ALL THE TOP-SECRET
MAGICAL REAPING DEVICES.
- IT REALLY HAS BEEN A LONG TIME.
- NOW, I SHALL REVEAL THE NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN
SUPER-TOP-SECRET ALL-TERRAIN GRIM REAPING VEHICLE...
GOOD ON LAND, SEA, OR AIR.
I CALL IT THE DOOM BUGGY.
- HEY, MANDY, HEY, GRIM!
CHECK OUT MY HAPPENIN' HOOPTY!
- BUT WHERE DID HE?
BUT HOW DID?
BUT...
JUST DON'T YOU TOUCH ANYTHING, YOUNG MAN.
- DUCK! - DUCK!
I SAY!
- THAT'S TELLING HIM.
- I DON'T WANTED A BLASTED ALL-TERRAIN DOOM BUGGY.
I ONLY WANT ME SCYTHE REPAIRED.
- BUT IT'S POSITIVELY ANCIENT!
YOU SIMPLY MUST LET ME SHOW YOU A MORE UP-TO-DATE MODEL.
STEP RIGHT THIS WAY.
INTRODUCING SCYTHE 2.0.
[WHISTLES]
- HELLO, MR. REAPER.
I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.
I AM SCYTHE 2.0,
THE NEXT GENERATION IN REAPING.
I COME WITH MORE THAN 1,000 BLADES STANDARD.
- EH? EH?!
- OOH! - WHOA!
- I HAVE INTEGRATED PDA,
E-MAIL CAPABILITIES.
- AND WHAT?
- AND A NON-STICK SURFACE
SO THAT THE GORE JUST SLIDES RIGHT OFF.
- SWEET!
SCYTHE 2.0 IS DEFINITELY NOT A PIECE OF CRUD!
- VERY IMPRESSIVE.
BUT I LIKE ME OLD SCYTHE.
IT'S A CLASSIC.
I'VE HAD IT FOREVER.
- NOT TO WORRY.
I'll FIX UP THE OLD CLASSIC GOOD AS NEW.
IN THE MEANTIME, YOU TAKE THIS BABY OUT FOR A SPIN.
IF YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED,
BRING HER BACK. - DEAL.
- EXCELLENT DECISION, MR. REAPER.
- EXCELLENT!
- YOU'LL LOVE IT!
TA-TA FOR NOW.
- SO, FIRE UP THE 2.0 AND TAKE US HOME.
- [WHOOPING]
- GRIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- JUST POLISHING ME SCYTHE.
- TIME TO PUT THAT FREELOADER TO WORK.
I WANT YOU TWO TO HOE THE GARDEN,
TRIM THE BUSHES, EDGE THE LAWN,
AND SPREAD SOME MANURE.
UNCLOG THE TOILET, PLUCK THE CHICKENS,
WASH THE CAR, CARVE A TOTEM POLE,
SCRAP GRANDMA'S BUNIONS,
GUT THE TROUT, JULIENNE THE CARROTS,
SHEAR THE SHEEP, TRIM MY TOENAILS,
EXFOLIATE BILLY'S NOSE, CUT THE CHEESE,
ENGRAVE MY COMMEMORATIVE PLAQUE,
AND BUILD ME A MONUMENT TO MY HATRED
OF ALL THINGS SMALL AND FURRY.
CHOP, CHOP... OR THERE'LL BE NO VIDEO GAMES.
- HMM!
- SURELY SHE'S JOKING.
- I'M AFRAID NOT.
- BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO AS SHE SAYS.
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE GRIM REAPER.
- HA HA HA HA!
CERTAINLY NOT!
- PHEW!
- THAT'S WHAT I HAVE YOU FOR.
- ME?!
- HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR CHORES, GRIM?
- 2.0 IS DOING THEM.
I PUT HER ON AUTOPILOT.
- GRIM, I REALLY FEEL THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
TREATING ME WITH PROPER RESPECT.
OH, UH, HERE'S THE LEMONADE YOU ORDERED.
- [SLURPING]
- I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE USED AS A HEDGE-TRIMMER,
A DRAIN-CLEANER, OR A DEPILATORY AID.
I WAS MEANT TO CARVE A SWATH OF DESPAIR
AND DESTRUCTION THROUGH THE WORLD OF MEN,
TO BLACKEN THE SKIES AND REDDEN THE SEAS
LEAVING NOTHING BEHIND BUT ENTROPY
AND UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCES.
- YEAH, YEAH, BE QUIET.
ONE OF THESE GUYS IS GONNA WIN $1 MILLION
FOR MILKING A GOAT WITH HIS MOUTH!
[LAUGHTER]
[WOMAN SCREAMS] - HELLO?
- HELLO, MR. REAPER.
- WHERE ARE YOU?
- THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
I KNOW MY PURPOSE, MR. REAPER.
YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY OBSOLETE.
- I BEG YOUR...
- YOUR WORK ETHIC IS POOR AT BEST.
I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME REAP.
SO, I AM LEAVING YOU TO PURSUE MY OWN CAREER,
STARTING WITH THOSE ROTTEN KIDS.
- WHAT IS IT, GRIM?
- OH, NOTHING.
- BYE, MOM!
[WHISTLING]
- I'VE GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE FOOL.
- ♪ OH, I'M JUST A FOOL WHO'S GOING TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ TO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ♪
HEY, MANDY!
WAIT UP!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
- WHOA!
- YOU WON'T GET AWAY SO EASY THIS TIME.
OH, NO.
YOU'RE MINE.
- [WHISTLING]
DID YOU EVER HAVE THAT FEELING
THAT YOU WERE BEING FOLLOWED BY SOMETHING
MENACING AND REALLY SCARY?
- NO.
- YEAH, ME NEITHER.
SCYTHE 2.0!
AND I THINK HE'S LOST HIS HEAD!
- A FORTUITOUS METAPHOR, BILLY!
BUT I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S LOSING HIS HEAD.
- LET ME REPHRASE THAT.
[ENGINE ROARS]
- I WON'T TOLERATE ANY FREELANCING IN MY TERRITORY.
SO, YOU MIGHT AS WELL COME QUIETLY.
- YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR ME WITHOUT YOUR SCYTHE, REAPER.
- I'll TAKE THAT AS A NEGATIVE.
HA!
I'VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU TRAITOR!
- NOT SO FAST.
- NOW, THAT'S NOT FAIR!
- YOUR DAYS ARE OVER, REAPER.
YOU HAVE BECOME OBSOLETE.
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
- IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?
- HA!
WRETCHED CHILDREN.
THAT STUPID OLD GRIM REAPER CAN'T PROTECT YOU NOW.
I AM FULLY AUTOMATED.
I LACK COMPASSION.
AND I WILL HAVE YOUR HEADS.
[THUNDER]
- YOU KEEP AWAY FROM THOSE KIDS!
IF ANYONE IS GOING TO HAVE THEIR HEADS,
IT'S GOING TO BE ME!
- NO!
THIS CAN'T BE!
NO!
- WHOA! - WHOA!
- ANYBODY NEED A LIFT?
- NO, THANKS.
WE DON'T TAKE RIDES FROM... GRIM!
THE DOOM BUGGY!
AND YOU GOT YOUR OWN SCYTHE BACK!
- IT'S ABOUT TIME.
- YEAH, WE WERE ALMOST GONERS.
- NO WORRIES.
I WASN'T ABOUT TO LET THAT UPSTART SCYTHE
TAKE ME JOB AWAY.
- SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO SCYTHE 2.0?
- LET'S JUST SAY... I HAD HER REASSIGNED.
- OUCH!
THIS NEW RAZOR IS A PIECE OF CRUD!
WILL SCARE THE LIFE OUT OF A NORMAL PERSON.
OH, MAYBE IT'S THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS.
ANYWAY, IT'S VERY SCARY!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
- [SNARLING]
HUH?
[SCREAMS, SOBS]
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org...
- WELL, NOW.
MY WORD!
- PATHETIC.
- I SAY.
IS SHE ONE OF OURS?