1
00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:13,375
[EVIL LAUGHTER]

2
00:00:13,458 --> 00:00:15,185
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

3
00:00:15,209 --> 00:00:19,208
[TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

4
00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:34,083
>> NOW HATRED
IS, BY FAR, THE.

5
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,667
LONGEST PLEASURE.

6
00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:36,875
MEN LOVE IN HASTE, BUT THEY

7
00:00:36,958 --> 00:00:38,833
DETEST AT LEISURE.

8
00:00:57,042 --> 00:00:58,667
>> COMPETITION.

9
00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:03,083
[SNORING]

10
00:01:03,167 --> 00:01:05,583
[HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]

11
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,143
>> SO, I'VE CUT
MY NOSE PICKING.

12
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,417
DOWN TO TWICE A DAY, AND I'VE

13
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,042
COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ALL 6 OF

14
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,792
THE STATE CAPITALS I KNEW, AND I

15
00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:12,934
GOT THIS BUNNY TATTOO ON THE

16
00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:14,144
BACK OF MY HEAD THAT SYMBOLIZES

17
00:01:14,168 --> 00:01:15,417
MY HIP-HOP ROOTS, YEAH.

18
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:16,958
IT WASHES OFF WITH WARM WATER

19
00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:18,059
AND SOAP, BUT YOU DON'T GOT TO

20
00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:20,083
WORRY ABOUT THAT, 'CAUSE I NEVER

21
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,083
TOUCH THE STUFF.

22
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:23,167
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

23
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,958
AM I COOL YET?

24
00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:28,792
PLEA... >> WINDHAM,
MEADOWBERRY, COME.

25
00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:30,542
WE GOTS WORK TO DO.

26
00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,185
>> BILLY, SPERG
AND HIS GOONS.

27
00:01:36,209 --> 00:01:37,250
AREN'T COOL.

28
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,458
THEY'RE WHAT WE, IN THE

29
00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:39,417
SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY, LIKE TO

30
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,125
CALL JERK WADS.

31
00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:44,528
>> NO, MANDY.
YOU ARE WRONG.

32
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:47,667
SPERG IS SUPER COOL!

33
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:51,018
[LAUGHING]

34
00:01:51,042 --> 00:01:53,458
>> BILLY, THUGS
AND BULLIES ONLY.

35
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:56,042
RESPECT THUGS AND BULLIES.

36
00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,185
>> MANDY,
YOU'VE GIVEN ME THE.

37
00:02:01,209 --> 00:02:04,018
BEST IDEA IN THE WORLD!

38
00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:07,292
>> EEH!

39
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:09,458
>> HAND OVER
YOUR LUNCH MONEY...

40
00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:10,583
>> PLEASE, SPERG.

41
00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:11,833
ALLOWS ME.

42
00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:13,143
>> BILLY, YOU
CAME BACK TO.

43
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,976
RESCUE ME... AAH!

44
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,018
>> YOU SEE
THE WAY I BULLIED.

45
00:02:17,042 --> 00:02:17,708
THAT DUDE?

46
00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:20,167
PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?

47
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:23,250
>> YOU COST ME
A MARK, JELLY ROLL.

48
00:02:32,292 --> 00:02:37,458
[SUCKING]

49
00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:40,500
>> I CAN'T WATCH!

50
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:52,125
>> WHA... WHA...
YOU'RE A FREAK!

51
00:02:57,125 --> 00:02:58,417
HEY, DAD.

52
00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:59,417
>> HEY, BILLY.

53
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,809
>> DAD, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU.

54
00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,583
ABOUT SOMETHING.

55
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,144
MY BODY'S CHANGING IN A FUNNY

56
00:03:04,168 --> 00:03:06,917
WAY, AND I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

57
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,875
[COUGHING]

58
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:14,018
>> UH, WELL,
UH, YOU SEE, BILLY,

59
00:03:14,042 --> 00:03:16,417
UH... WHEN A BOY BECOMES, UH,

60
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:20,125
A... A MAN, HE STARTS TO GET

61
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:24,125
FURRIER AND FATTER, LIKE A

62
00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:25,917
SQUIRREL IN WINTER, AND...

63
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000
WHERE'D I PUT MY SODA?

64
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,917
OH, MAN, OK.

65
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,583
YOU MIGHT NOTICE THAT YOU THINK

66
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,208
GIRLS HAVE STARTED TO SMELL

67
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:35,583
GOOD, BUT YOU'D BE WRONG.

68
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,018
DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE YOUR

69
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,167
OLD MAN DID. OH, HOO!

70
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,292
OH.

71
00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:43,375
OH, IS THAT ALL YOU
WERE TALKING ABOUT?

72
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,042
SWEET CREAMERY BUTTER!

73
00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:50,208
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

74
00:03:50,292 --> 00:03:51,542
>> IT'S NOT SPIT, BILLY.

75
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,917
IT'S ECTOPLASM.

76
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,042
ECTOPLASM IS A PHYSICAL

77
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:57,875
MANIFESTATION FROM
THE SPIRIT REALM.

78
00:03:57,958 --> 00:03:58,958
IT SEEMS THAT BILLY IS

79
00:03:59,042 --> 00:04:01,708
CHANNELING SOME SORT OF SPIRIT.

80
00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:09,083
>> HOW COULD
THIS HAPPEN TO MY SON?!

81
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:13,042
[PANTING]

82
00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:16,667
>> SO, ANYWAY,
WE WON'T KNOW.

83
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,333
WHAT KIND OF SPIRIT UNTIL IT

84
00:04:18,417 --> 00:04:19,750
FULLY DEVELOPS.

85
00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:20,893
BILLY COULD'VE ABSORBED THE

86
00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:22,417
ECTOPLASM IN A NUMBER OF WAYS,

87
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,458
LIKE EATING A SUPERNATURAL
SANDWICH, MAYBE.

88
00:04:26,542 --> 00:04:27,833
>> DID YOU DO THAT, BILLY?

89
00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:30,583
DID YOU EAT A
SUPERNATURAL SANDWICH?!

90
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,667
DID YOU?

91
00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:32,708
>> NO.

92
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,000
>> IT'S OK, SON.

93
00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,333
IT'S OK.

94
00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:38,208
WE'LL GET THROUGH
THIS... [SOBBING]

95
00:04:38,292 --> 00:04:40,875
TOGETHER.

96
00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:42,000
>> GET A ROOM.

97
00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:46,125
[THUNDERCLAP]

98
00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:47,667
>> SWALLOW YOUR SICKLE?

99
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,333
HA.

100
00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:54,125
[SNORING]

101
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:58,208
[HIGH-PITCHED NOISE]

102
00:05:02,792 --> 00:05:05,125
[WILD NOISES]

103
00:05:05,208 --> 00:05:07,500
[YAWNING]

104
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:10,000
[CHOKING]

105
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,792
[BURP]

106
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:26,333
[GARGLING]

107
00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:29,000
>> SHE WALKS IN
BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT.

108
00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:32,417
OF CLOUDLESS CLIMES
AND STARRY SKIES;

109
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,125
AND ALL THAT'S BEST
OF DARK AND BRIGHT

110
00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:38,833
MEET IN HER ASPECT AND HER EYES.

111
00:05:38,917 --> 00:05:40,958
>> HELLO, MR. SPITMAN.

112
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:42,042
I'M BILLY.

113
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:43,125
>> I KNOW, BILLY.

114
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:45,625
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
CONTACT YOU FOR DAYS.

115
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:48,208
I AM LORD BYRON,
THE FAMOUS 19th.

116
00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:49,417
CENTURY POET.

117
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,518
>> DOES THAT
MEAN I'M GONNA.

118
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:53,667
LEARN SOMETHING
FROM THIS EPISODE?

119
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,125
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

120
00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:57,958
I'M JUST HERE TO TEACH
YOU HOW TO BE COOL.

121
00:05:58,042 --> 00:06:00,042
I WAS ONCE A NERD LIKE YOU.

122
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:02,542
I WAS EVEN BORN WITH A CLUBFOOT,

123
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,042
BUT I OVERCAME MY PROBLEMS AND

124
00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:05,375
BECAME ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR,

125
00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:07,375
COOL, AND REVOLUTIONARY LITERARY

126
00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:08,750
FIGURES OF MY TIME.

127
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,433
>> CAN I SEE
IT? >> SEE WHAT?

128
00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:11,768
>> THE CLUBFOOT THING.

129
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,042
I WANT TO SEE IT.

130
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,917
>> WELL, OF COURSE.

131
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,833
I'M REALLY NOT
ASHAMED OF IT ANYMORE.

132
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:20,083
JUST LET ME DIG AROUND FOR IT.

133
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:23,125
[GROANING]

134
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,875
>> YOU HAD
THAT IN MY MOUTH?

135
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:30,750
>> BILLY?

136
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,833
>> I LIVED, I
LOVED, I QUAFFED,

137
00:06:32,917 --> 00:06:33,917
LIKE THEE:

138
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,292
I DIED: LET EARTH
MY BONES RESIGN;

139
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:40,292
FILL UP... THOU
CANST NOT INJURE ME;

140
00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:44,958
THE WORM HATH
FOULER LIPS THAN THINE.

141
00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,708
[LAUGHING]

142
00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:49,042
FOOLED YOU, MANDY.

143
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:50,333
THAT WAS MY NEW FRIEND, LORD

144
00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:51,583
BYRON, TALKING.

145
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,083
>> HELLO, LOVE.

146
00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:55,375
>> HE'S TEACHING
ME TO BE COOL.

147
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,792
>> REALLY?

148
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:57,750
I HOPE HE'LL BE PAPER TRAINING

149
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,292
YOU, AS WELL.

150
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,542
>> AH, VERY
WITTY, YOUNG LADY,

151
00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:03,792
AND THAT, BILLY, BRINGS US TO

152
00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,667
OUR FIRST LESSON IN COOL:

153
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:08,250
USING YOUR WIT.

154
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:09,625
>> NO!

155
00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:11,958
MY PROTRACTOR!

156
00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:13,184
>> SOMEONE
NEEDS TO TEACH THAT.

157
00:07:13,208 --> 00:07:15,625
PUSILLANIMOUS
RAGAMUFFIN A LESSON.

158
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:19,167
[SCREAMING]

159
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,083
NO, NO, BILLY.

160
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,708
A GENTLEMAN IS A GENTLE MAN.

161
00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:26,125
WE ARE PACIFISTS BY NATURE.

162
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,125
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER
THAN THE SWORD...

163
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:30,208
THEY SAY.

164
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,083
>> CAN I HAVE AN AX?

165
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,417
>> NO.

166
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,700
>> CROSSBOW? >> NO.

167
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:35,434
>> A FACE
PLASMA RIFLE IN A

168
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:36,976
40-WATT RANGE?

169
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,833
>> MMM...
PERHAPS I SHOULD JUST.

170
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:39,976
GET YOU A PEN.

171
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,351
>> I'M TWO
STEPS AHEAD OF YOU,

172
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:42,958
COACHEES.

173
00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:49,708
[SLURPING]

174
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,208
LET HER RIP.

175
00:07:51,292 --> 00:07:52,559
>> NOW, LOOK
AT THAT BRUTE.

176
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:54,000
FIND HIS WEAK SPOT.

177
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,958
>> NO, MY "22nd
EDITION DUNGEON.

178
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,750
MASTERS GUIDE!"

179
00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,417
>> HIS MOM!

180
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,083
HIS MOM IS HIS WEAKNESS.

181
00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:04,476
>> YOU MUST
CRAFT A SCATHING.

182
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500
AND WITTY POEM
ABOUT SPERG'S MOTHER.

183
00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,208
YOUR WORDS WILL BE AS 10,000

184
00:08:09,292 --> 00:08:11,375
ARROWS IN HIS BUTTOCKS.

185
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,375
>> NO!

186
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,542
>> HARK! HARK!

187
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:16,208
COME HERE AND
LISTEN TO MY WORDS.

188
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:20,500
"AN ODE TO SPERG'S MUM."

189
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,875
>> A POEM ABOUT
MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER?

190
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:26,167
>> ROSES ARE RED,

191
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:29,458
AND VIOLETS ARE... ORANGE,

192
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,833
AND YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T THINK

193
00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:33,500
OF WHAT RHYMES WITH
ORANGE, BUT SPERG'S MOM

194
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:37,458
IS A BIG, UGLY, STUPID,
FREAKISH GORILLA

195
00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:39,667
WITH THESE, LIKE, WEBBED TOES,

196
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,125
AND SHE'S A BAD COOK,

197
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,417
AND SHE THROWS HER OWN POOP,

198
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,102
AND SHE'S SO ICKY AND HIDEOUSLY

199
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,833
UGLY THAT IF YOU LOOK AT HER,

200
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:48,042
YOUR HEAD WILL MELT.

201
00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:54,042
[GROWLING]

202
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:56,708
>> OH, SPERGIE,
HONEY, YOU LEFT.

203
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:59,083
YOUR LUNCH AT HOME, SO I DROVE

204
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:02,458
DOWN HERE TO BRING
IT TO YOU, AND I JUST...

205
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,208
CHILDREN ARE SO CRUEL!

206
00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:06,458
[CRYING]

207
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:07,375
>> WHAT ARE
YOU CHILDREN DOING.

208
00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:08,792
IN MY HALLWAY?

209
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,458
IS THIS...

210
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,167
[CRYING]

211
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,042
>> WILL SOMEBODY
GET ME A TISSUE?

212
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,059
>> WELL, WELL, WELL.
I'M A POET, AND I DIDN'T EVEN.

213
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:29,184
KNOW THAT I HAD THE ABILITY THAT

214
00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:31,375
I MIGHT BE.

215
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,417
[RUMBLING]

216
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,833
>> YOU! ME!

217
00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:40,542
AFTER SCHOOL AT THE FLAG POLE!

218
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,476
>> SPERG HAS
CHALLENGED YOU TO A.

219
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,542
DUEL!

220
00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:48,458
YOU MUST MEET HIM
AT THE FLAG POLE.

221
00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:49,643
>> BUT I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED ME.

222
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:52,875
TO BE AGAINST FIGHTING,
LIKE SWITZERLAND.

223
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,184
>> SWITZERLAND
IS A CURSED,

224
00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,000
SELFISH, SWINISH COUNTRY OF

225
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,542
BRUTES PLACED IN THE MOST

226
00:09:57,625 --> 00:10:01,708
ROMANTIC REGION OF THE WORLD.

227
00:10:01,792 --> 00:10:03,042
[THUNDERING, CHATTERING]

228
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,042
>> WHERE IS THAT WIMP?

229
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,885
>> I DON'T THINK
HE'S GONNA SHOW, DUDE.

230
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,625
THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE SEA.

231
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:19,976
[LAUGHING]

232
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,184
>> I THINK YOU OWE ME ONE.

233
00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,458
WIRELESS COMPUTER NERD OBJECT.

234
00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:24,750
>> NO!

235
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,875
YOU CAN'T!

236
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,144
YOU CAN'T TAKE MY WIRELESS

237
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,375
INTERNET BRIDGE
WITH 5-PORT SWITCH!

238
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,042
IT'S ALL I'VE GOT!

239
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:34,292
>> WELL, WHO'S
GONNA STOP ME?

240
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,750
>> I'M YOUR HUCKLEBERRY.

241
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
[THUNDERING]

242
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:43,042
>> IT'S THAT
DREAMY POET BOY.

243
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,667
>> IT'S WEDGIE TIME.

244
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,208
>> I'M SCARED, LORD BYRON.

245
00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:49,042
>> YOU MUST NOT FEAR.

246
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,226
FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER THAT

247
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,167
BRINGS TOTAL OBLITERATION.

248
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,125
>> BUT IT'S 3
ON ONE, LORD BYRON.

249
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,083
>> NO, BILLY.

250
00:10:58,167 --> 00:10:59,750
IT'S 3 ON TWO.

251
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,792
>> LOOK,
BOYS, IT'S A WIENER.

252
00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:04,750
WITH A SISSY COMING
OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

253
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,542
>> WE'RE NOT
WIENERS AND SISSIES.

254
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,292
WE'RE FOPS AND DANDIES, AND

255
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,708
WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT!

256
00:11:10,792 --> 00:11:12,976
>> YAAAH!

257
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,167
>> AAH!

258
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,042
[SCREAMING]

259
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:20,125
[THUNDERING]

260
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:22,042
I THINK I'M GONNA BE A DORK

261
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,000
FOREVER, LORD BYRON.

262
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,708
>> ACCEPT YOUR
NERDINESS, BILLY.

263
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,042
EMBRACE IT.

264
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:31,125
THAT'S REALLY HOW
YOU BECOME COOL.

265
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:32,976
WELL, NOT SO MUCH YOU, EXACTLY,

266
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,226
BUT SOMEONE WHO'S GOING TO BE A

267
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:39,000
FUNCTIONING MEMBER
OF SOCIETY ONE DAY.

268
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,833
>> LORD BYRON!

269
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,625
>> BILLY, WHATEVER
FORCE BROUGHT.

270
00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:44,458
ME INTO YOUR MOUTH IS FADING.

271
00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:47,125
>> NO! YOU
CAN'T GO, LORD BYRON!

272
00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:49,333
I WON'T LET YOU!

273
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,000
>> TRAINED WELL
AND STRONG WITH.

274
00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:57,083
COOLNESS, YOU ARE,
BUT NOT THAT STRONG.

275
00:11:57,167 --> 00:12:00,542
[HOWLING]

276
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:02,292
>> WELL, THAT
OLD FOP'S GONE.

277
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:03,518
AS FOR YOU, YOU'RE SLEEPING OVER

278
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,458
HERE FOR NOW ON.

279
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:07,250
[SNORING]

280
00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:12,625
>> ARGH!

281
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:16,708
I AM ATTILA THE HUN,
BARBARIAN CONQUERER.

282
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:17,708
>> HA HA!

283
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,250
I AM RASPUTIN, RUSSIA'S MAD

284
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,792
SORCERER AND POLITICAL ADVISOR.

285
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,333
>> I AM ABRAHAM
LINCOLN, BASTION.

286
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:27,000
OF HONESTY AND FAIRPLAY.

287
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:28,625
>> YOU AND
YOU GET TEACHING.

288
00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,917
HONESTY ABE, YOU GET THE CHIPS.

289
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,440
>> WHY IS IT
ALWAYS MY JOB TO.

290
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,875
GET THE CHIPS?

291
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,976
[MUSIC PLAYING]

292
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,184
>> GRIM, YOU
WERE SUPPOSED TO.

293
00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,042
TRIM MY HAIR A WEEK AGO.

294
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:55,000
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

295
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,143
>> I'VE BEEN
WATCHING BILLY'S.

296
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:59,083
"MY TROUBLED PONY" DVD SET.

297
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:01,083
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!

298
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:03,292
IT'S GOT COMEDY AND DRAMA, SO

299
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,083
IT'S A DRAMEDY!

300
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,375
BUT IT'S ALSO GOT FUN AND ART,

301
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:09,875
SO IT'S A DRAMEDY FART!

302
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,000
[LAUGHING]

303
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,792
SHH!

304
00:13:13,875 --> 00:13:16,125
>> JAVIER,
I'M AFRAID I DON'T.

305
00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:18,167
HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

306
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,434
TOMORROW THEY'RE SENDING ME TO

307
00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:23,042
THE GLUE FACTORY.

308
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,750
>> MY HAIR, GRIM.

309
00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:27,167
THAT'S AN ORDER.

310
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,250
>> THERE.

311
00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:30,083
NOW BEAT IT.

312
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,351
I'M ON THE LAST SHOW, AND I HAVE

313
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,667
TO KNOW HOW THE SERIES ENDS.

314
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,083
>> "MY TROUBLED PONY" WAS.

315
00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,167
CANCELLED AFTER
ITS FIRST SEASON.

316
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,708
THE SERIES DOESN'T HAVE AN END

317
00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:43,250
BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER MADE.

318
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,875
>> HOLD ON
TO ME, GUILLERMO!

319
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,708
>> I CAN'T!

320
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,667
I DON'T GOT NO THUMBS!

321
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:53,708
>> AAH!

322
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:59,458
>> HUH? NOOOOO!

323
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:04,750
[MAKING EXPLOSION NOISES]

324
00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:06,458
WHY WOULD THEY CANCEL A GREAT

325
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:08,708
SHOW LIKE "MY TROUBLED PONY?"

326
00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:10,458
>> IT WAS A
DUMB SHOW, GRIM.

327
00:14:10,542 --> 00:14:11,768
>> I WOULD
PERSONALLY PAY TO.

328
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,708
HAVE THE FINAL EPISODE MADE AND

329
00:14:13,792 --> 00:14:14,792
MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO

330
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,458
ROXANNE, AND I MUST KNOW WHETHER

331
00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:18,917
DAFFODIL IS ROBBY'S REAL FATHER.

332
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,083
>> GRIM, YOU
CAN'T DO THAT.

333
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,018
CARTOONS ARE EXPENSIVE.

334
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:27,125
THEY COST BAZILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

335
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:29,167
>> MONEY IS NO PROBLEM.

336
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:33,542
I STILL HAVE MY BIRTHDAY MONEY.

337
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:35,792
USED TO BE I CHARGED TWO GOLD

338
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,542
PIECES TO EVERY CHUMP WHO WANTED

339
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:39,542
TO CROSS THE RIVER STYX, BUT I

340
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:42,250
HAD TO GO SPEND IT
ALL ON LIPOSUCTION.

341
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,351
>> I HATE TO
INTERRUPT YOUR.

342
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,042
LITTLE TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE,

343
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:50,125
BUT WHAT ARE THOSE
HIDEOUS THINGS?

344
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,125
>> OH, THOSE
ARE JUST SCHLUBS...

345
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,792
100 FAIRY FOLK WHO LIVE IN

346
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:59,292
MUSHROOM VILLAGES.

347
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,575
SOME WIZARDS LIKE TO MELT THEM

348
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:03,792
DOWN FOR GOLD, BUT...

349
00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:06,042
>> GRIM, HAVE YOU
MET MY NEW FRIENDS?

350
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:07,417
THEY'RE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF THE

351
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,708
MUSHROOM PATCH.

352
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:11,976
I LOVES THEM SO MUCH!

353
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
>> GOLD!

354
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,518
>> WELL, I CAN
ALREADY SEE WHERE.

355
00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:15,875
THIS IS GOING.

356
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,167
CALL ME IF YOU NEED
A STERN TALKING TO.

357
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,185
>> HEY, GUYS.

358
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,125
WAIT FOR ME!

359
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:23,333
GRIM, YOU CAN'T HUNT THE SCHLUBS

360
00:15:23,417 --> 00:15:25,458
AND TURN THEM INTO GOLD.

361
00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:27,083
THE SCHLUBS HAVE A RICH AND

362
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:29,708
PATRIARCHAL CULTURE.

363
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:31,500
>> WHO IS
TEACHING YOU THESE.

364
00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,125
WORDS, BILLY?

365
00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:34,792
>> WHY, THE
SCHLUBS, OF COURSE.

366
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:36,458
JUST LISTEN.

367
00:15:36,542 --> 00:15:39,167
[GRUNTING]

368
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,417
[HIGH-PITCHED GARBLE]

369
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:45,042
[GROWLING]

370
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:47,167
[LAUGHING]

371
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,976
[GARBLE]

372
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,167
AREN'T THEY GREAT?

373
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,833
I JUST LEARN SO MUCH
FROM THEM EVERY DAY.

374
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,583
ALLOWS ME TO INTRODUCE YOU.

375
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,875
THIS IS BITEY SCLUB AND KICKY

376
00:15:56,958 --> 00:16:00,458
SCHLUB, ASSAULTY SCHLUB,

377
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:04,417
EYE-GOUGEY SCHLUB, NOOGIE

378
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:11,708
SCHLUB, WEDGIE
SCHLUB... DORKY SCHLUB.

379
00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:13,101
>> BILLY,
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.

380
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,125
CHANGE MY MIND.

381
00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,125
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THE

382
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,208
ONLY GOOD SCHLUB
IS A MELTED SCHLUB.

383
00:16:19,292 --> 00:16:20,792
>> I'M WARNING YOU, GRIM.

384
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:24,958
WE'LL FIGHT YOU
DOWN TO THE LAST MAN.

385
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:38,125
>> SURPRISE!

386
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:39,208
>> AAH! OK, GUYS.

387
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,158
DON'T PANIC. REMEMBER OUR PLAN.

388
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,667
IF YOU WE ALL PLAY DEAD,

389
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,500
EVENTUALLY HE'LL GET
BORED AND GO AWAY.

390
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:45,917
I DO IT ALL THE TIME.

391
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,042
OH, NO!

392
00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:52,000
I THINK I JUST FELT
MY HEART STOP!

393
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:55,458
[LAUGHING]

394
00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,667
>> OK, WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?

395
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,958
DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT WHEN

396
00:16:59,042 --> 00:17:00,101
I CATCH YOU, I'M GOING TO MELT

397
00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:02,625
YOU DOWN INTO GOLD?

398
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:08,851
AREN'T YOU GOING TO AT LEAST TRY

399
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:11,167
TO RUN AWAY?

400
00:17:18,042 --> 00:17:22,292
OW! OW! OW!

401
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,375
OK! OK!

402
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,333
I GIVE UP.

403
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:34,750
THAT DIDN'T GO WELL.

404
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:38,333
>> FIRE WHEN READY.

405
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:39,667
NOT BAD, GUYS.

406
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,417
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN AIMING JUST A

407
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,292
LITTLE BIT HIGHER
THIS TIME, HUH?

408
00:17:44,375 --> 00:17:49,167
[GARBLING]

409
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,917
EEH!

410
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,125
>> OK, MILKSHAKE,
REMEMBER OUR DEAL.

411
00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,458
YOU CHASE THE LITTLE GREEN MEN

412
00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:56,792
OVER TO ME, AND I'll MAKE SURE.

413
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,375
BILLY CHANGES YOUR LITTER BOX

414
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,208
MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR.

415
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,667
NOW, GO!

416
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:06,750
>> READY, AIM... [MEOW]

417
00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:08,958
[MEOW]

418
00:18:09,042 --> 00:18:11,875
[SCREAMING]

419
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,125
>> AAH!

420
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:15,125
[MEOW]

421
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:17,625
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

422
00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:20,083
[GROWLING]

423
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,167
RUN, SCHLUBS!

424
00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:23,000
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

425
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:25,125
>> THAT'S RIGHT, SCHLUBS.

426
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,083
COME TO GRIMMY.

427
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:28,292
GOTCHA!

428
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,750
SOON ALL "MY TROUBLED PONY"

429
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:35,417
QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED.

430
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,083
I'M SO EXCITED.

431
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:38,833
I HAVEN'T USED MY NEW GUILLOTINE

432
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,059
SINCE I BOUGHT IT ON THE TORTURE

433
00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:41,625
SHOPPING NETWORK.

434
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,750
YOU WON'T BE 3 APPLES HIGH WHEN

435
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:46,375
I'M DONE WITH YOU.

436
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,292
BILLY!

437
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,375
>> HI, GRIM!

438
00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:50,958
OOH, ARE WE TRIMMING
TOENAILS TODAY?

439
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,042
THEY REALLY NEED IT.

440
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,083
>> PERFECT!

441
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:14,000
I WAS ALWAYS GOOD
AT FINGER PAINTING.

442
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,208
THIS TRICK NEVER FAILS.

443
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:25,917
[GARBLING]

444
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,583
>> AHEM.

445
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,542
>> WHAT'S WITH
ALL THE COMMOTION?

446
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,000
>> IT APPEARS
THAT A SECOND.

447
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,061
FEMALE SCHLUB IS GARNERING ALL

448
00:19:35,085 --> 00:19:37,333
THE ATTENTION OF
THE MALE SCHLUBS.

449
00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:38,792
>> SO WHAT?

450
00:19:38,875 --> 00:19:40,417
>> OH, THERE
CAN ONLY BE ONE.

451
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,018
FEMALE SCHLUB.

452
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:43,292
SHE GETS VERY JEALOUS IF SHE

453
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:45,250
DETECTS ANY COMPETITION.

454
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:48,083
AND THEY MUST
BATTLE TO THE DEATH!

455
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:51,333
[GROWLING]

456
00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:59,542
>> OOH! AAH!

457
00:19:59,625 --> 00:20:03,792
[SCREAMING]

458
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,125
OW! OW! OUCH!

459
00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:07,375
HEY, OOH!

460
00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:16,125
>> PUNISH HER!

461
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:19,000
I JUST LOVE A GOOD CATFIGHT!

462
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,417
[BURPING]

463
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,792
[GROWLING WILDLY]

464
00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,708
>> THAT'S IT!

465
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,000
OK, WE'RE GONNA DO THIS THE

466
00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:43,917
OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

467
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,917
[ZAPPING]

468
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:57,000
[MANIACAL LAUGHING]

469
00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:03,083
>> BITEY?

470
00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:04,875
KICKY?

471
00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:06,976
EYE-GOUGEY?

472
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,792
[CRYING]

473
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:11,958
WHY, GRIM?

474
00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:13,042
WHY?

475
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,625
THIS WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD TO

476
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,333
DO BESIDES MY HOMEWORK.

477
00:21:16,417 --> 00:21:17,625
THANKS A LOT!

478
00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:20,792
GUESS I'll JUST GO STUDY NOW!

479
00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:21,875
>> HOO!

480
00:21:21,958 --> 00:21:24,750
TIME TO COLLECT SCHLUBS.

481
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:25,833
HUH?

482
00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:27,083
NO SCHLUBS?

483
00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:29,875
WELL, THEY MUST BE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

484
00:21:29,958 --> 00:21:31,208
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

485
00:21:31,292 --> 00:21:33,917
HOW COULD 100
SCHLUBS JUST DISAPPEAR?

486
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,708
[HORN HONKING]

487
00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:43,750
MANDY?

488
00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:45,125
>> DON'T WORRY, BONEHEAD.

489
00:21:45,208 --> 00:21:46,750
YOU STILL GOT YOUR TWO PENNIES.

490
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:48,083
MAYBE IT'LL BE JUST ENOUGH TO

491
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:51,000
FINANCE THE END OF
"MY TROUBLED PONY."

492
00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:53,185
I CAN PROBABLY CUT
YOU A BREAK ON IT.

493
00:21:53,209 --> 00:21:55,458
AFTER ALL, I OWN THE COMPANY.

494
00:21:59,208 --> 00:22:01,000
AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN BUY WITH 99

495
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:03,500
GOLD BARS, ISN'T IT, JEEVES?

496
00:22:03,583 --> 00:22:05,292
>> INDEED, MADAM.

497
00:22:05,375 --> 00:22:07,417
>> WAIT, 99?

498
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,083
BUT THERE WERE 100 SCHLUBS.

499
00:22:09,167 --> 00:22:13,417
SO THAT MEANS... [GROWLING]

500
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,958
I HATE MONDAYS.

501
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,333
>> HOLD ON
TO ME, GUILLERMO!

502
00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:25,018
>> I CAN'T!

503
00:22:25,042 --> 00:22:27,125
I DON'T GOT NO THUMBS!

504
00:22:27,208 --> 00:22:30,250
>> AAH!

505
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:33,375
>> ESTELLA!

506
00:22:33,458 --> 00:22:35,792
>> NOO!

507
00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:37,458
[SPLASH]

508
00:22:37,542 --> 00:22:40,000
SURPRISE!

509
00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:42,976
HAVE SOME CANDY!

510
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000
>> I MADE IT MYSELF!

511
00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:48,167
PAY UP!

512
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:50,833
PLEASURE DOING
BUSINESS WITH YOU.

513
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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY

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[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL