1
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Grim: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

2
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Mandy: DON'T MAKE ME TURN.

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THIS CARTOON AROUND.

4
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[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

5
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[ CRASH ]

6
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WELL, THIS AIN'T
FANNY'S CAFETERIA.

7
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:15,083
40 YEARS, I'VE BEEN
HUNTING YOU, DRACULA.

8
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40 YEARS OF CHASING SHADOWS AND

9
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RUMORS, OF LIVING IN...

10
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GET THAT LIGHT OFF DRACULA EYES.

11
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BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT
YOU'D SEE ME AGAIN.

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WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

13
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I AM LIONEL VAN HELSING,
YOUR MORTAL ENEMY.

14
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HMM... NOPE. DON'T RING A BELL.

15
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MAYBE THIS WILL HELP... A

16
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WOODEN STAKE THROUGH THE HEART!

17
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NO, DRACULA DON'T THINK THAT

18
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GONNA HELP MUCH.

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AAH!

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GET YOUR BIG BUTT OFF DRACULA!

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DIE, VAMPIRE!

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[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

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Grim: NO, DON'T HURT HIM!

24
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WHAT'D YOU SAY?

25
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DON'T LISTEN TO SKELETON MAN.

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HE NOTHING BUT A BIG DUMMY.

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Grim: DRACULA, HUSH!

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I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU.

29
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DRACULA DON'T NEED NO SAVING.

30
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DRACULA CAN SAVE HIS SELF.

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[ GRUNTING, MOANING ]

32
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DRACULA HIP MUST'VE GONE OUT.

33
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JUST GIVE DRACULA A SECOND TO

34
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CATCH HIS BREATH.

35
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Grim: LOOK, CALM DOWN AND.

36
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DROP THE WOODEN STAKE.

37
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DROP THE STAKE?

38
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DROP YOUR HEAD
IS WHAT I SHOULD DO!

39
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DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS MONSTER IS?

40
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Grim: HE'S DRACULA, KING OF.

41
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THE VAMPIRES... AND
MY CHILDHOOD HERO.

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YOU ARE A SICK, LITTLE MAN.

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HERO? I DON'T SEE A HERO.

44
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I SEE A BLOODSUCKING DEMON.

45
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NO, NO, NO, THAT'S A MYTH.

46
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DRACULA DON'T SUCK.

47
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YOU GIVE ME A REASON WHY I

48
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SHOULDN'T END HIS REIGN OF

49
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TERROR RIGHT NOW!

50
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DRACULA THINK... QUIET, YOU!

51
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Grim: UH... UM...

52
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H-HE'S AN EXCELLENT DANCER?

53
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SHAKE HIS BOOTY.

54
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Grim: DRACULA HAS BEEN
LIKE A FATHER TO ME.

55
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WHY, JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, WE

56
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WERE HANGING OUT...

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DRACULA LOVE MINIATURE GOLF.

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Grim: ONE ADULT AND ONE.

59
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SENIOR CITIZEN, PLEASE.

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SENIOR CITIZEN?

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YOU CALLING DRACULA OLD?!

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Grim: DRACULA, COME ON.

63
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YOU LIVE IN A RETIREMENT HOME.

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AND, BESIDES, THE SENIOR-CITIZEN

65
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DISCOUNT SAVES YOU FIVE BUCKS.

66
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DRACULA AIN'T NO SENIOR CITIZEN.

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Grim: FINE!

68
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THEN YOU PAY FOR
YOUR OWN TICKET.

69
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FINE! DRACULA WILL.

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DRACULA GONNA NEED
TO BORROW FIVE BUCKS.

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MY EYE!

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Grim: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

73
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THAT'S CALLED DRACULA PUTTING

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A FUNK IN THE GAME.

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Grim: YOU CAN'T
HIT IT THAT HARD.

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GOLF.

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YOU CAN'T TELL
DRACULA HOW TO PLAY.

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MY BABY!

79
00:03:31,125 --> 00:03:31,976
Grim: GIVE ME THAT.

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YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEBODY.

81
00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:34,792
OF DRACULA.

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FOR YOU.

83
00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,042
UH, GENTLEMEN, UH, I'M GONNA

84
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HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

85
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YOU CAN'T TELL
DRACULA WHAT TO DO!

86
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LOOK, OLD TIMER,
YOU'RE CAUSING...

87
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OLD TIMER?!

88
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:47,833
DRACULA SHOW YOU
WHO'S AN OLD TIMER!

89
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GET BACK HERE!

90
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DRACULA GONNA BEAT YOUR BUTT!

91
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Grim: MAYBE THAT WASN'T THE.

92
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MOST HELPFUL STORY.

93
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DRACULA TOLD YOU HE WAS A DUMMY.

94
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:04,750
Grim: HEY, WEREN'T YOU TWO ON.

95
00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:06,333
THE GROUND BEFORE THE FLASHBACK?

96
00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:08,000
THE CONCRETE HURT MY KNEES

97
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,000
SOMETHING FIERCE.

98
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,167
AND DRACULA NEEDED
MORE LUMBAR SUPPORT.

99
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,583
Grim: EH. MAKES SENSE.

100
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:13,875
NOW, GIVE ME A SECOND.

101
00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:15,118
I'M SURE I CAN COME UP WITH A

102
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:18,458
MUCH BETTER REASON
WHY DRACULA SHOULD LIVE.

103
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:20,042
SEE, ONE TIME HE...

104
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:23,833
NO, HE CAUGHT
THAT PLACE ON FIRE.

105
00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:26,958
OH, THERE WAS A
GUY WHO... OH, WAIT.

106
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HE NEEDED STITCHES.

107
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AND THERAPY.

108
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ANYTHING?

109
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Grim: UM... MAYBE.

110
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NO, HE WAS ARRESTED THAT TIME.

111
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MUCH.

112
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:52,000
Billy: PLEASE, SIR, DON'T
HURT MR. DRACULA.

113
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IF YOU WOULD JUST TAKE A MOMENT

114
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AND LOOK AT HIM THROUGH THE

115
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INNOCENT EYES OF A CHILD, YOU

116
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WOULD SEE THAT HE'S NOT JUST A

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BIG, STINKY MONSTER.

118
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HE'S A BIG, STINKY MONSTER WHO

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BITES THINGS.

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ONE DAY, HE CAME TO MY SCHOOL TO

121
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SHARE HIS WEALTH
OF LIFE LESSONS.

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BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

123
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BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

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AND THAT IS HOW DRACULA DO THE

125
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SCRAPE-AND-LICK.

126
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NOW DRACULA GONNA SEPARATE YOU

127
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INTO TWO GROUPS. UGLY AND DUMMY.

128
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YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY.

129
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YOU A DUMMY. YOU UGLY.

130
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YOU A DUMMY, AND YOU UGLY.

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YOU IN BOTH.

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Mandy: WHAT PURPOSE
DOES THIS SERVE?

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DRACULA DIDN'T ASK FOR NO LIP!

134
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DRACULA TRYING TO
BRING YOU AN EDUCATION.

135
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NOW, DUMMIES, STAND OVER THERE

136
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AND FACE THAT WAY.

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AND, UGLIES, STAND OVER THERE,

138
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FACING THAT WAY.

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Billy: NOW WHAT?

140
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DRACULA DIDN'T TELL YOU TO

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LOOK OVER HERE, DUMMY!

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YOU KEEP FACING THE WALL!

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Billy: YES, SIR.

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SO, BABY, YOU WANT
TO SEE DRACULA DANCE?

145
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[ FUNKY SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

146
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MMM, YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?

147
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OH, YEAH!

148
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:55,976
DRACULA BRINGING THE HEAT NOW.

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Billy: AND HE NEVER
GOT INVITED BACK.

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THE END.

151
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,208
DRACULA WANT CALL HIS LAWYER.

152
00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:02,750
Mandy: LOOK, I'll ADMIT.

153
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:04,333
DRACULA IS NO SAINT, BUT WHY DO

154
00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:05,583
YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH?

155
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:06,667
HE'S HARMLESS. HARMLESS?!

156
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:09,042
IS IT HARMLESS TO
WRECK A MAN'S LIFE?

157
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DRACULA GONNA WRECK YOUR FACE

158
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WHEN HE GET OUT OF HERE.

159
00:06:12,042 --> 00:06:13,208
Grim: YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

160
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SEE THIS?

161
00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:15,542
Billy: A FIST?

162
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,792
IT LOOKS MIGHTY!

163
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,167
NO, IT'S A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET.

164
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,833
Grim: OKAY, SO, YOU ACCESSORIZE?

165
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,042
NO!

166
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LOOK!

167
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,750
Billy: IT'S THE SAME BRACELET.

168
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Grim: THEN THAT MEANS... YES.

169
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DRACULA AND I ARE...

170
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[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

171
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BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

172
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Billy: BFFs?

173
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Grim: THEN WHY KILL HIM?

174
00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:41,083
IT WAS HOT THAT
SUMMER IN ENDSVILLE.

175
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,000
DRACULA AND I WERE TRYING TO

176
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:47,125
COOL THINGS DOWN
WITH OUR BEST STRUT.

177
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LOOKING GOOD, BABY!

178
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,083
DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW

179
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WHAT I LOVE MOST
ABOUT THE SUMMER?

180
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SUMMER DRESSES.

181
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RIGHT ON!

182
00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,000
[ BOTH SLURPING ]

183
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,102
HEY, DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW

184
00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:04,708
WHAT FLAVOR
POPSICLE I LIKE BEST?

185
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:05,542
FUDGE.

186
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,833
RIGHT ON!

187
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,792
DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW WHICH

188
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,042
FOOT IS MY FAVORITE?

189
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,375
THE RIGHT FOOT.

190
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:18,625
RIGHT ON!

191
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,125
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FOUND TWO

192
00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,833
TIGHTER FRIENDS THAN
US IN THE WHOLE CITY.

193
00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:29,792
WE SPENT OUR NIGHTS OUT DANCING

194
00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:31,708
AND EATING PEPPERONI PIZZA, AND

195
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:33,708
WE SPENT OUR DAYS WORKING AT THE

196
00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:35,500
LOCAL FACTORY AS CUSTOM TEDDY

197
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:36,625
BEAR DESIGNERS.

198
00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:37,625
WHAT YOU THINK, MAN... LITTLE

199
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,500
PURPLE HAT OR LITTLE ORANGE HAT?

200
00:07:39,583 --> 00:07:40,958
DRACULA DIGGING ON THE

201
00:07:41,042 --> 00:07:42,125
GROOVINESS OF PURPLE.

202
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,208
WHATEVER, MAN.

203
00:07:43,292 --> 00:07:44,292
"WHATEVER, MAN"?

204
00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:45,167
SOMETHING WRONG.

205
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,583
DRACULA AIN'T NEVER HEARD

206
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,125
VAN HELSING NOT CARE WHAT HE PUT

207
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,042
ON A TEDDY BEAR.

208
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,083
DRACULA, YOU EVER THINK

209
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:52,833
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN

210
00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:55,000
DESIGNING TEDDY BEARS, DANCING,

211
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,875
AND EATING PEPPERONI PIZZA?

212
00:07:56,958 --> 00:07:59,250
WHAT... YOU MEAN,
LIKE, SAUSAGE PIZZA?

213
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,333
NEVER MIND, MAN.

214
00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:01,542
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

215
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:03,208
CANADIAN-BACON PIZZA, RIGHT?

216
00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:05,018
I GOT TO GO GET SOME AIR.

217
00:08:05,042 --> 00:08:06,083
VEGETARIAN PIZZA?

218
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,542
DRACULA CAN BE
DOWN WITH VEGETABLES.

219
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:09,333
EXCEPT GARLIC.

220
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:11,875
DRACULA DON'T
TOUCH NONE OF THAT.

221
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,833
I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I

222
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:15,042
WAS LOOKING FOR.

223
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,458
OF COURSE, I DIDN'T KNOW A LOT

224
00:08:16,542 --> 00:08:17,958
OF THINGS BACK THEN, LIKE A

225
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:19,750
GIRAFFE HAS ONLY
SEVEN VERTEBRAE.

226
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,500
THAT'S CRAZY.

227
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,125
YOU'D THINK WITH
SUCH A LONG NECK...

228
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,708
BACK OFF, JACK.

229
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,018
I KNOW KARATE.

230
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:27,333
I'M SORRY.

231
00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:29,750
I WASN'T PAYING ATTEN...

232
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:35,375
GIRL, I WASN'T
TRYING TO HURT YOU.

233
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,042
I'VE HEARD THAT LINE BEFORE.

234
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,083
WHO WAS THIS WOMAN
IN FRONT OF ME?

235
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,917
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL,
STRONG, AND ANGRY.

236
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,500
AND THEN SUDDENLY IT HIT ME.

237
00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:46,958
AS I LOST CONSCIOUSNESS, A WARM

238
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,167
THOUGHT ROSE UP.

239
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:52,125
I HAD FOUND WHAT
I WAS LOOKING FOR.

240
00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:53,958
HEY! HEY!

241
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:54,792
ARE YOU OKAY?

242
00:08:54,875 --> 00:08:56,125
SORRY I WHUPPED YOUR BUTT.

243
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:58,583
YOUR FRIEND DRACULA
EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.

244
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:00,125
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIGURE OUT WHAT

245
00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:01,917
KIND OF PIZZA YOU WANT SOMEDAY.

246
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,250
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

247
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:04,250
TANYA.

248
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,167
WELL, TANYA, PERHAPS SOMETIME

249
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,542
YOU'D LIKE TO... HEY, FOXY LADY!

250
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:13,125
WANT TO SEE DRACULA DANCE?

251
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,500
I KNEW IT WAS OVER FOR ME THEN.

252
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:19,750
NO WOMAN COULD
RESIST DRACULA'S DANCE.

253
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,083
LET'S GET MARRIED!

254
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,333
OUT OF SIGHT!

255
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,583
I LISTENED TO MY BROKEN HEART

256
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,792
FOR A SIGN OF WHAT TO DO NEXT.

257
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:44,833
BUT IT WAS SILENT,
LIKE A SILENT FART.

258
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,583
AND AS YOU KNOW, IT'S THE SILENT

259
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:49,083
FARTS THAT ARE THE MOST DEADLY.

260
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:51,917
SO I DECIDED I WOULD USE MY PAIN

261
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,458
TO BECOME A SILENT
FART OF VENGEANCE!

262
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,083
AND I WOULD KILL DRACULA!

263
00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:58,976
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

264
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,792
THAT DUMB STORY GONNA MAKE

265
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:01,958
DRACULA THROW UP.

266
00:10:02,042 --> 00:10:03,917
I PROMISED MYSELF I'D KEEP

267
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,042
WEARING THIS BRACELET UNTIL THE

268
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,625
DAY I HAD MY REVENGE.

269
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:09,792
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

270
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,125
GONNA TALK DRACULA TO DEATH.

271
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:12,542
THAT'S WHAT YOU GONNA DO.

272
00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:14,625
Billy: I DIDN'T KNOW
DRACULA WAS MARRIED.

273
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:15,333
Mandy: YEAH.

274
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:17,583
I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

275
00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:23,208
WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER YOURSELF?

276
00:10:23,292 --> 00:10:26,061
Grim: IRWIN'S GRANDMAMA
IS DRACULA'S WIFE?!

277
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:27,085
HEY, BABY.

278
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:30,000
DON'T YOU "HEY,
BABY" ME, DRACULA.

279
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:30,875
TANYA?

280
00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:33,061
YOU CAN'T KILL DRACULA, LIONEL.

281
00:10:33,085 --> 00:10:35,667
HE'S MY BABY'S DADDY.

282
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,083
[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]

283
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,542
DRACULA IS MY DAD?

284
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:39,745
DUDE! Irwin: THEN THAT MEANS.

285
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:42,125
DRACULA IS MY GRANDPAPA, YO.

286
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,208
DUDE! YO!

287
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:44,708
DUDE! YO!

288
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000
DUDE! YO!

289
00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:49,125
Billy: DUDE, IRWIN IS HALF.

290
00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:51,083
MUMMY, HALF VAMPIRE?

291
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,500
Mandy: IT WOULD APPEAR SO.

292
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:53,917
Irwin: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

293
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,458
DOES THAT MEAN I'M COOL ENOUGH

294
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,125
TO DATE YOU NOW, MANDY?

295
00:10:57,208 --> 00:11:00,083
[ SMOOCHING ]

296
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,083
A-A-A-A-AH!

297
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,167
IT BURNS, YO! [ SOBBING ]

298
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,875
Billy: WHAT WAS THAT... MACE?

299
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,625
Mandy: NO, GARLIC BUTTER.

300
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,458
HE'S DEFINITELY PART VAMPIRE.

301
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:11,250
Irwin: A-A-A-A-AH!

302
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,417
Irwin: WHY, WOMAN, WHY?!

303
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,708
A-A-A-A-AH!

304
00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:16,000
BUT YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME MY DAD

305
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,061
WAS A NAVIGATOR
ON A SPICE FREIGHTER.

306
00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:19,667
WHY'D YOU
HIDDITY-HIDE THE TRUTH?

307
00:11:19,917 --> 00:11:20,976
'CAUSE IT WOULD'VE BROKE MY

308
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,458
LITTLE BABY'S HEART IF HE KNEW

309
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:24,083
YOUR DADDY DISAPPEARED ON US.

310
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,500
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

311
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,042
DON'T YOU LAY IT ON DRACULA.

312
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,976
SEE, HERE WHAT HAPPENED.

313
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,750
DRACULA WAS OUT MOWING THE LAWN.

314
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:33,102
HMM. DRACULA THIRSTY.

315
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,583
BABY, BRING DRACULA SOME

316
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:35,958
REFRESHING LEMONADE!

317
00:11:36,042 --> 00:11:37,042
GET IT YOURSELF!

318
00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:38,625
I'M BUSY WITH THE BABY!

319
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:41,167
[ SIGHS ]

320
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:48,542
BABY, WE AIN'T GOT
NO... [ SCREAMS ] A BAT!

321
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,792
[ MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY ]

322
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:55,458
AAH!

323
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:56,250
[ GROANS ]

324
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,125
PLEASE, BABY, PLEASE CALL AN

325
00:11:58,208 --> 00:11:59,333
AMBUL... NO, BABY, NO!

326
00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:01,125
NOT ON DRACULA'S FACE!

327
00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:03,167
OW!

328
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:10,208
CRAZY WOMAN TRY TO KILL DRACULA.

329
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:12,292
DRACULA GONNA GET
THE HECK OUT OF HERE.

330
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:14,458
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
COULD TURN INTO A BAT.

331
00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:16,000
WOMAN, EVERYBODY KNOW DRACULA

332
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:16,833
TURN INTO A BAT.

333
00:12:16,917 --> 00:12:18,125
THAT'S WHAT DRACULA DO.

334
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:19,833
I'M SORRY, HONEY, BABY.

335
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:22,000
DRACULA SORRY, TOO.

336
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:24,292
SORRY YOU SO OLD AND UGLY NOW!

337
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:26,958
I GUESS WE BOTH
GOT BEAT UP BY TANYA.

338
00:12:27,042 --> 00:12:28,708
Grim: SO, YOU STILL FEEL THE.

339
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:30,292
NEED TO GET REVENGE?

340
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,375
DAD! AAH!

341
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:34,500
DRACULA FAMILY A BUNCH OF NERDS!

342
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:38,667
NO, WHAT I FEEL
THE NEED TO DO IS...

343
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,125
STRUT!

344
00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:42,500
[ FUNKY SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

345
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,125
NO!

346
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,833
YOU GET BACK HERE, PUT DRACULA

347
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:49,917
OUT HIS MISERY! COME ON!

348
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:53,750
[ SOBS ]

349
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:56,542
LOOK... OH, THEY SO UGLY!

350
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,042
DRACULA THINK THESE POTATOES

351
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:02,125
NEED MORE SALT.

352
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:03,375
NO, HONEY, THE DOCTOR SAID

353
00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:04,500
YOU GOTS TO CUT BACK.

354
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,083
YOU CAN'T TELL DRACULA WHAT

355
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:07,185
HE CAN AND CAN'T EAT!

356
00:13:07,209 --> 00:13:08,917
GRANDMAMA CAN, DRACULA!

357
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,583
GRANDMAMA CAN.

358
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,542
YES, BABY.

359
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,542
DUDE.

360
00:13:26,917 --> 00:13:28,208
Billy: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE.

361
00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:30,708
HAVE TO DO A
REPORT ON TALL TALES.

362
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:31,708
Grim: HEY!

363
00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:33,167
I WAS AROUND WHEN SOME OF THE

364
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,792
BIG NAMES IN TALL TALES WERE

365
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:36,042
STILL IN THE SCENE...

366
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,708
PECOS BILL, PAUL
BUNYAN, JOHN HENRY.

367
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:40,958
Mandy: NAME-DROPPER.

368
00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:42,708
Grim: TALL TALES ARE IMPORTANT.

369
00:13:42,792 --> 00:13:44,083
THEY'RE WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY

370
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,000
WHAT IT IS TODAY.

371
00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:46,542
Mandy: YOU MEAN A BLOATED,

372
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:47,976
DIRECTIONLESS, OMNI-CORPORATION

373
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,417
FIXATED ON TAWDRY GOSSIP AND

374
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,875
REALITY TELEVISION?

375
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,083
Grim: YEP.

376
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,167
Irwin: YOU SHOULD SHARE
YOUR STORIES, GRIM.

377
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,625
Grim: PECOS BILL WAS THE.

378
00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:57,667
ROOTIN'EST, TOOTIN'EST,
SIX-SHOOTIN'EST,

379
00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,083
POOP-SCOOPIN'EST COWPOKE EVER TO

380
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,708
POKE A COW IN THE EYE.

381
00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:01,708
Billy: [ LAUGHS STUPIDLY ]

382
00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:04,292
HE SAID... Grim: DON'T SAY IT.

383
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,061
Mandy: HE'LL EXPLODE, GRIM.

384
00:14:06,085 --> 00:14:07,750
Irwin: IT'S NOT NATURAL TO.

385
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,375
SUPPRESS BODILY FUNCTIONS, YO!

386
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:12,583
HE'S GONNA BLOW!

387
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,667
[ FARTS, SQUEAKS ]

388
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,208
NO NEED TO THANK ME FOR SAVING

389
00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:17,958
YOUR LIFE, YO.

390
00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:19,184
Mandy: START THE STORY, GRIM,

391
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:21,000
BEFORE BILLY SPEAKS AGAIN.

392
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,917
Billy: HEY... Grim: IT
WAS WAY BACK WHEN.

393
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,083
THE AMERICAN WEST WAS FULL OF

394
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,167
GOLD AND TRAILERS... INSTEAD OF

395
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,875
JUST TRAILERS.

396
00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:31,250
I WAS DOING A LITTLE BIT OF

397
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,042
WORK, WAITING FOR THE 6:30

398
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,125
TWISTER TO COME THROUGH.

399
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,458
[ WIND HOWLING ]

400
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:43,417
[ COWS MOOING ]

401
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,417
[ BABY CRYING LOUDLY ]

402
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,125
Gladys: AH! IT'S A TWISTER!

403
00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:48,125
SOMEONE SAVE US!

404
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,708
Grim: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

405
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:52,792
SORRY, LADY, NOBODY CAN STOP A

406
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:54,102
TWISTER THAT SIZE.

407
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:55,417
YOU'RE ALL DOOMED!

408
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:59,708
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

409
00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,833
Billy: NOT SO FAST, TWISTER.

410
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:04,792
DO NOT FEAR, CITIZENS
OF THE TRAILER PARK.

411
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:07,208
I, PECOS BILLY, AND MY TRUSTY

412
00:15:07,292 --> 00:15:11,750
STEED, WIDOWMAKER,
WILL TAME THIS TWISTER.

413
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,583
Mandy: "PECOS BILLY"?

414
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,061
Grim: I SWEAR. IT'S TRUE.

415
00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:17,750
HE CALLED HIMSELF PECOS BILL AND

416
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,018
PECOS BILLY BECAUSE OF THE

417
00:15:19,042 --> 00:15:20,083
SOMETIMES- "Y" RULE.

418
00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:21,750
Mandy: ALL RIGHT. WHATEVER.

419
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:22,333
MOVE ON.

420
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:23,708
Grim: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

421
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:24,417
WHERE WAS I?

422
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,125
AH, YES.

423
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,917
PECOS BILLY WAS ALL SET TO DO

424
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,042
BATTLE WITH THE TWISTER.

425
00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:30,268
Billy: DO NOT FEAR, CITIZENS.

426
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:31,125
OF THE TRAILER PARK.

427
00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:32,667
I, PECOS BILLY, AND MY TRUSTY

428
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:36,042
STEED, WIDOWMAKER,
WILL TAME THIS TWISTER.

429
00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,417
[ CHEERING ]

430
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,061
Grim: LIKE I WAS TELLING THAT.

431
00:15:40,085 --> 00:15:42,292
LADY, NOBODY CAN
STOP A TWISTER THAT SIZE.

432
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,417
HEY, BUT IT'S YOUR FUNERAL!

433
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,750
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

434
00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:48,792
[ WIND HOWLING ]

435
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,542
Billy: [ GRUNTING ]

436
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:08,667
THAT ALL YOU GOT,
YOU DIRTY TWISTER?!

437
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,667
OW!

438
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:13,833
THAT ALL YOU GOT,
YOU. [ TORNADO GROWLS ]

439
00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:17,500
A-A-A-A-AH!

440
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:25,250
[ TORNADO ROARS ]

441
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:29,625
YEE-HAW!

442
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:31,000
Grim: ALL RIGHT, KID, LET'S.

443
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,042
BLOW THIS THING AND GO HOME!

444
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,917
[ CHEERING ]

445
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,250
Gladys: LEFT BUTT, RED.

446
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:47,625
Grim: AND THAT'S HOW.

447
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:50,125
PECOS BILLY SAVED THE
ARIZONA TRAILER PARK.

448
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:51,375
Mandy: THAT'S THE MOST.

449
00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,583
RIDICULOUS STORY
I HAVE EVER HEARD.

450
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,583
Grim: YOU AIN'T
SEEN NOTHING YET.

451
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,333
IF THAT TALE WASN'T TALL ENOUGH

452
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,061
FOR YOU, LET ME TELL YOU THE

453
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:01,125
TALE OF THE TALLEST TALL TALE OF

454
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,125
ALL... PAULA BUNYAN!

455
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,292
Mandy: UM, "PAULA" BUNYAN?

456
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:06,958
ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE PAUL?

457
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:10,417
A LITTLE-KNOWN
SOMETIMES- "A" RULE.

458
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,708
ANYWAY... [ OLD-TIMEY
PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]

459
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:16,542
A-A-A-A-AH!

460
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,125
YOU MUST PAY THE RENT!

461
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:19,708
BUT IF YOU SAW ME IN HALF,

462
00:17:19,792 --> 00:17:22,000
HOW CAN I PAY THE RENT, LOSER?

463
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,375
GEE, I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.

464
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,292
I SUPPOSE YOU CAN PAY ME HALF AT

465
00:17:26,375 --> 00:17:27,917
THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH AND

466
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,292
HALF... IN THE MIDDLE!

467
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,792
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

468
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,000
Grim: CAN YOU HURRY THIS.

469
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:35,250
SAWMILL THING UP ALREADY?

470
00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:37,061
I'VE GOT OTHER APPOINTMENTS.

471
00:17:37,085 --> 00:17:39,000
LOOK, THIS IS MY LAND, BUDDY.

472
00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:41,875
NOBODY TELLS ME
WHAT TO DO ON MY LAND.

473
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:45,976
[ THUMPING, RUMBLING ]

474
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:46,976
[ SHRIEKS ]

475
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,042
THIS IS MY LAND, YOU BIG LUMMOX!

476
00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:51,208
YOU'RE RUINING MY... SOD.

477
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,208
Mandy: IT'S GONNA
BE A COLD WINTER.

478
00:17:53,292 --> 00:17:56,333
I'll NEED THIS WOOD.

479
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:05,250
WOOD.

480
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,333
AAH! HELP!

481
00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:17,333
THIS HEAT IS GIVING
ME SPLIT ENDS!

482
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:18,917
Grim: WELL, THIS IS JUST AS.

483
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
GOOD AS A SAW, I SUPPOSE.

484
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:24,625
YOU GIANT, MELON-HEADED,
APE CREATURE!

485
00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:26,208
YOU'VE RUINED MY LAND AND TAKEN

486
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:27,500
MY DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

487
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,125
YOU SET THINGS RIGHT THIS VERY

488
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,125
INSTANT, OR, SO HELP ME, I'll.

489
00:18:31,208 --> 00:18:32,917
SUE YOU SO HARD, YOUR BANK

490
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,167
ACCOUNT WON'T KNOW ITS FEES FROM

491
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,375
ITS ASSETS!

492
00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:37,375
Mandy: FINE.

493
00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:40,000
TALK TO MY LAWYER... BABE.

494
00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:41,083
HEY, BABE?

495
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,375
[ SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]

496
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,042
I'VE GOT A GUY OUT HERE WHO

497
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,458
WANTS TO SUE ME.

498
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:50,125
[ SHRIEKS ]

499
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:52,375
[ SHRIEKING ]

500
00:18:58,750 --> 00:18:59,976
Grim: 2-FOR-1!

501
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,958
THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME.

502
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:06,750
I'M STILL ALIVE.

503
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,750
Grim: SO, MANDY, THAT'S HOW.

504
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,125
THE GRAND CANYON WAS BORN.

505
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:11,542
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ANOTHER

506
00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:14,292
TRUE TALL TA...

507
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,875
WELL, I SAVED THE
BEST TALL TALE FOR LAST.

508
00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:19,061
I KNOW YOU CAN'T
WAIT TO HEAR IT.

509
00:19:19,085 --> 00:19:20,750
THIS ONE'S A DOOZY, THE BEE'S

510
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:21,958
KNEES, I TELL YOU.

511
00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:25,875
A TALE OF LOVE AND TRAGEDY.

512
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,061
THIS IS THE BEST TALL TALE OF

513
00:19:32,085 --> 00:19:35,083
THEM ALL, SO YOU'D
BETTER LISTEN TO IT!

514
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:36,000
Irwin: YES, SIR, YO.

515
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:37,125
Billy: OH, MY GOSH.

516
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:38,083
I PEED MYSELF.

517
00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:40,208
Grim: THE TALE OF JOHN HENRY.

518
00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:43,625
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT.

519
00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:48,500
Billy: HEY, NONNY-NONNY!

520
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:49,743
CHUG-A-CHUG-A, CHUG-A-CHUG-A!

521
00:19:49,792 --> 00:19:51,292
WHO-O-O-O-O!

522
00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:52,708
ALL RIGHTY, THEN.

523
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,208
ON THIS, THE FOURTH
DAY OF JUNE IN THE YEAR

524
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:58,000
ONE-AUGHT-NEENER-NEENER, WE BEAR

525
00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,458
WITNESS TO ONE OF THE SINGLE

526
00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:02,250
GREATEST SHOWDOWNS OF OUR AGE...

527
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,125
MAN VERSUS MACHINE!

528
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:07,125
WHO WILL DIG THROUGH
THE MOUNTAIN FASTER?

529
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:09,333
WH-O-O-O WILL SURVIVE?

530
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,958
Grim: I'VE GOT 10
BUCKS ON THE MACHINE.

531
00:20:12,042 --> 00:20:13,333
Irwin: I'll WIN THIS CONTEST.

532
00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:18,000
AND THE HAND OF
MY LADY LOVE, YO.

533
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:23,583
Billy: AND... THEY'RE OFF!

534
00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,333
Sperg: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

535
00:20:25,417 --> 00:20:31,125
Irwin: I'M DOING IT
ALL FOR YOU, BABY!

536
00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:33,792
A-A-A-A-AH!

537
00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:34,583
Grim: DRAT!

538
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,042
HE'S KEEPING PACE.

539
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:37,750
I CAN'T LET THIS GUY WIN.

540
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:39,792
I NEED THAT 10 BUCKS FOR GAS.

541
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:53,083
[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

542
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,125
Irwin: THIS AIN'T FAIR, YO.

543
00:20:55,208 --> 00:20:59,083
THAT THING'S ON 'ROIDS!

544
00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:01,000
OH, NO!

545
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,708
HYAH!

546
00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:11,250
Billy: AND THE WINNER IS WHO?

547
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,542
THE MACHINE!

548
00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:14,750
YOU RAPSCALLION.

549
00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:16,625
Mandy: SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO.

550
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:17,542
WHAT'S-HIS-FACE?

551
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:18,625
Grim: JOHN HENRY?

552
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:20,042
OH, I SUSPECT THAT HE WAS

553
00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,375
DIGGING SO FAST THAT HE BROKE

554
00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:23,144
THE LAWS OF PHYSICS AND ROCKETED

555
00:21:23,168 --> 00:21:25,625
INTO THE EIGHTH DIMENSION.

556
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:28,167
WE ARE SMUCKTROIDS
OF THE EIGHTH DIMENSION.

557
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,125
YOU WILL LIVE HERE NOW AND ENJOY

558
00:21:30,208 --> 00:21:32,500
OUR CULTURE AND MARRY
ONE OF OUR DAUGHTERS.

559
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,042
Irwin: MARRY AN ALIEN?

560
00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:36,125
THAT'S EVERY BOY'S DREAM!

561
00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:39,125
[ ROARS ]

562
00:21:39,208 --> 00:21:40,417
[ SLURPING ]

563
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,000
Irwin: I'M GONNA GO HOME AND.

564
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,102
WRITE MY REPORT.

565
00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:44,625
Billy: OOH, I LIKE THE ONE.

566
00:21:44,708 --> 00:21:45,750
ABOUT THE PLATYPUS.

567
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,125
THAT'S THE ONE I'll WRITE ABOUT.

568
00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,226
Mandy: IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T.

569
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,458
FIGURED IT OUT, HE'S TRYING TO

570
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:52,375
GET YOU ALL F's.

571
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:53,792
Billy: I CAN GET AN "F" ALL.

572
00:21:53,875 --> 00:21:56,250
BY MYSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

573
00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:59,917
Irwin: MANDY, WAIT UP, GIRL!

574
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,292
Billy: SABOTAGE!

575
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:02,250
Grim: HMPH!

576
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,102
WAS MY PLAN THAT TRANSPARENT?

577
00:22:04,126 --> 00:22:05,875
STILL, IN EVERY TALL TALE, NO

578
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,708
MATTER HOW TALL, THERE'S ALWAYS

579
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:08,792
A BIT OF TRUTH.

580
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:09,583
[ GASPS ]

581
00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:12,042
Billy: YEE-HAW!

582
00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:14,583
Grim: [ GROANS, WHIMPERS ]