1 00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:06,748 Yeah, baby! 2 00:02:24,549 --> 00:02:26,749 Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous. 3 00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:33,750 I may just be a small town FBI-agent, slash single mother. 4 00:02:34,390 --> 00:02:36,510 But I'm still tough...and sexy. 5 00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:38,670 Well, Miss Normous... 6 00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:43,150 Shall we shag now or shag later? 7 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:46,230 Oh Austin...behave. 8 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:51,271 Hey Powers! 9 00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:54,911 You better watch your freaking self. 10 00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:58,031 Because this is one doctor who does make house calls. 11 00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:03,431 Right, Mini-Me? 12 00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:05,871 Hey, assholes! 13 00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:11,832 I'm right over here, I'm Mine-Me. Come and get me! 14 00:03:20,512 --> 00:03:22,952 - And cut! - That's a cut everybody. 15 00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:30,873 So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits? 16 00:03:31,593 --> 00:03:34,633 Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest - 17 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:35,833 - film maker in history of cinema, - 18 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,753 - is making a movie about my life. 19 00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:41,553 Very shagadelic baby, yeah! 20 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,874 Having said that, I do have some thoughts. 21 00:03:46,714 --> 00:03:51,074 Really? My friend here thinks it's fine the way it is. 22 00:03:52,194 --> 00:03:56,754 Well no offense Sir Stevie, but you gotta have Mojo baby, yeah! 23 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:58,714 Hit it! 24 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,278 Ladies and Gentlemen. 25 00:05:07,318 --> 00:05:08,638 Sir Quincy Jones. 26 00:05:16,599 --> 00:05:19,119 This is where the movie get its Mojo, baby. 27 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,280 Alright, everybody. Music video, take 2. 28 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,720 It's Britney Spears! 29 00:06:28,843 --> 00:06:31,043 Oops. I did it again, baby. 30 00:07:16,925 --> 00:07:18,206 Welcome back Herr Doctor. 31 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,286 How was space? 32 00:07:19,726 --> 00:07:22,326 Space was cool, wasn't it Mini-Me? 33 00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:25,766 Doctor Evil, while you were in space. 34 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,446 I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money. 35 00:07:29,846 --> 00:07:32,486 And still maintain the ethics in the business practices - 36 00:07:33,406 --> 00:07:34,606 - of an evil organization. 37 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:40,407 - I have turned us into a talent agency. The Hollywood Talent Agency. - Really? 38 00:07:40,447 --> 00:07:44,407 By charging A-list clients 9 % rather that the traditional 10 %. 39 00:07:44,807 --> 00:07:46,127 We've been able to sign such stars - 40 00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:47,087 - such as George Clooney, - 41 00:07:47,807 --> 00:07:48,647 - Julia Roberts. 42 00:07:50,127 --> 00:07:51,127 And Leo DiCaprio. 43 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,167 Leo! 44 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,608 And the best part of the whole scheme is, - 45 00:07:54,888 --> 00:07:56,088 - we all get our own assistance. 46 00:07:57,568 --> 00:07:58,888 Hi, I'm Number 3. 47 00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:03,888 I'm really excited to be a part of the team, here in HTA. 48 00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:05,768 Very impressive, Number 2, - 49 00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:08,768 - but I finally have the perfect plan. 50 00:08:11,368 --> 00:08:13,769 In the 70s, there lived a Dutch metallurgical heathenish, - 51 00:08:13,809 --> 00:08:15,969 - by the name of Johann Van Der Smut. 52 00:08:16,569 --> 00:08:20,849 He loved gold so much he even lost his genitaliens in an unfortunate smelting accident. 53 00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:25,089 Hence the name...Goldmember. 54 00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:29,570 He invented a cold fusion power unit for a..."Tractorbeam". 55 00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:32,730 "Tractorbeam" 56 00:08:33,490 --> 00:08:35,490 Powerful enough to pull a meteor to Earth. 57 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:38,930 The meteor was called..."Midas 22". 58 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:43,330 It's made of solid gold...is he sleeping? 59 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:48,091 Well, that's okay. I guess Mini-Me won't get any, CHOCOLATE! 60 00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:53,691 You want down Mini-Me? Use your words like a big boy clone. 61 00:08:57,451 --> 00:08:58,371 He's okay! 62 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:06,532 Here's the chocolate. It's from Brugge. That's in Belgium, that's where daddy's from. 63 00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:13,092 Check out Mini-Me. 64 00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:16,692 He's gone mental on candied chocolate. 65 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,692 It's like freakin' catnip for clothes. 66 00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:23,253 - Your chair, Dr. Evil. - Thank you. 67 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,533 Thanks, scedadum, right. 68 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:41,014 You know, when you have kids, I think your gonna find out that all kids are different, ey? 69 00:09:46,814 --> 00:09:49,334 For example: Mini-Me loves chocolate. 70 00:09:50,054 --> 00:09:50,894 Scotty don't! 71 00:09:51,214 --> 00:09:52,534 Well, I love chocolate fine. I just... 72 00:09:52,654 --> 00:09:53,334 Scotty don't! 73 00:09:53,374 --> 00:09:56,974 Oh yeah, very familiar, hang on, let me do what I do. Would you stop... 74 00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:58,494 How about I what? 75 00:09:59,695 --> 00:10:00,135 What do you... 76 00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:01,855 I don't even... 77 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:03,935 Honestly, isn't this... 78 00:10:04,055 --> 00:10:06,455 How about you don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scotty don't. 79 00:10:07,575 --> 00:10:11,135 Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time, that you finish unveiling your plan. 80 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,535 Yes, thank you Number 2. 81 00:10:12,855 --> 00:10:14,375 Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is... 82 00:10:14,415 --> 00:10:15,175 Scotty don't. 83 00:10:15,335 --> 00:10:17,176 Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass! 84 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:32,016 You know what? This is causing me serious psychological harm! 85 00:10:32,896 --> 00:10:34,537 I don't know. Who am I? 86 00:10:34,577 --> 00:10:36,737 Fine. You know what? I would love some chocolate. 87 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,737 - Here you go. - Thank you. 88 00:10:45,657 --> 00:10:46,777 Heel Mini-Me! 89 00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:49,817 Come on! 90 00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:55,498 You okay, Mini-Me? 91 00:10:56,618 --> 00:10:58,498 Did I pull too hard? I don't want to hurt you. 92 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,938 - Dr. Evil. - Yo? 93 00:11:00,098 --> 00:11:02,738 What does Goldmember's plan have to do with us? 94 00:11:03,338 --> 00:11:06,338 Our earlier attempts of the tractorbeam went through several preparations. 95 00:11:06,898 --> 00:11:09,218 Preparation A through G were a complete failure. 96 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:13,219 But now ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractorbeam. 97 00:11:13,659 --> 00:11:16,899 Which we shall call "Preparation H". 98 00:11:19,699 --> 00:11:20,339 What? 99 00:11:20,939 --> 00:11:23,819 Why don't you just call it "Operation Ass-creamy", ass? 100 00:11:24,819 --> 00:11:26,339 I'm sorry did you want some ice-cream? 101 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,420 Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream. 102 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,060 Perhaps later. 103 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,300 Dr. Evil, I love your plan. 104 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,380 Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan. 105 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,740 Yes, Frau, on the whole, I think Preparation H fells good. 106 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:44,580 What is it now? 107 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,781 No, nothing. You know what? I agree... 108 00:11:47,061 --> 00:11:49,101 Preparation H does feel good. 109 00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:50,421 On the hole. 110 00:11:51,341 --> 00:11:53,741 Well, I'm glad wir sprechen sie the same lingity. 111 00:11:54,861 --> 00:12:00,261 Ladies and gentlemen. Using my time machine I shall travel back to 1975. 112 00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:02,981 Pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. 113 00:12:03,582 --> 00:12:05,662 And the best part of this plan is... 114 00:12:06,662 --> 00:12:07,902 No one can stop me. 115 00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:12,262 Not even...Austin Powers. 116 00:12:23,863 --> 00:12:25,543 Not so fast. 117 00:12:26,023 --> 00:12:27,623 You're sorrounded Dr. Evil. 118 00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,063 Shit! 119 00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:36,743 Dr. Evil, the world court sentences you to 400 years. 120 00:12:36,903 --> 00:12:38,543 Do you have anything to say? 121 00:12:38,823 --> 00:12:41,624 No, but I think Mini-Me does. 122 00:12:47,904 --> 00:12:49,504 Looks like two eggs and a hankie. 123 00:12:52,784 --> 00:12:55,904 The criminal genius known as, Dr. Evil and his clone - 124 00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:57,825 - were sentenced today at the world organization. 125 00:12:58,305 --> 00:13:00,265 For his efforts, Austin Powers, - 126 00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:02,505 - the son of England's most famous spy, Nigel Powers. 127 00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:05,065 Will be knighted by The Queen at Buckingham Palace. 128 00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:11,105 Arise, Sir Austin Powers. 129 00:13:12,185 --> 00:13:13,385 Thank you, Your Majesty. 130 00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:16,186 Your father must be very proud of you. 131 00:13:16,346 --> 00:13:17,506 Oh, yeah. 132 00:13:17,946 --> 00:13:19,866 Come on dad, stand up and take a bow. 133 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,070 "Daddy wasn't there" Peace! 134 00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:39,710 I am a sexy beast. 135 00:14:48,231 --> 00:14:51,351 It's Austin Powers, you're so funny. 136 00:14:51,951 --> 00:14:53,551 Also very sexy. 137 00:14:54,471 --> 00:14:55,151 Can I have an autograph? 138 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,351 Of course, your name is? 139 00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:58,551 Fook Mi. 140 00:15:00,151 --> 00:15:04,432 Oh behave, baby. Now your name is? 141 00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:05,512 Fook Mi. 142 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,392 You kiss your mother with that mouth? 143 00:15:08,272 --> 00:15:10,312 Fook Mi, like this. 144 00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,512 Oh I see. 145 00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:15,752 Your name is Fook Mi. 146 00:15:16,512 --> 00:15:17,312 You want a drink? 147 00:15:17,352 --> 00:15:22,233 Yes of course, but I have private bar in the back, that you are more than welcome to use... 148 00:15:22,273 --> 00:15:22,833 Here you go. 149 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:25,433 Fook Mi! That was fast! 150 00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:26,953 Fook Yu. 151 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:30,353 Oh, you're going the right way for a smack-bottom and I don't care who knows it! 152 00:15:32,513 --> 00:15:33,353 Austin. 153 00:15:34,913 --> 00:15:41,274 This is my twin sister, her name, Fook Yu. Fook Yu...Fook Mi. 154 00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,634 Twins...twins 155 00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:52,794 Twins. Yes. We're going to see the twins. 156 00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:58,635 I also think Austin Powers is very sexy. 157 00:15:59,355 --> 00:16:01,195 We think you're very great. 158 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,995 We make you sleepy? 159 00:16:04,155 --> 00:16:06,635 Well, you make me many things, but sleepy is not one of them. 160 00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:13,396 - We give you top secret massage. - Yes, top secret massage, baby! 161 00:16:17,196 --> 00:16:19,876 Sorry about that, I swear to God, that never happens. 162 00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:22,556 Yes, hold on a tick. 163 00:16:28,516 --> 00:16:30,556 Okay, now where were we, baby? 164 00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:37,877 Ah, Austin. I'm sorry to interrupt. 165 00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:40,197 Twins, Basil. Twins. 166 00:16:40,237 --> 00:16:42,117 Austin, it's your father. 167 00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:44,797 - What? - He's been kidnapped. 168 00:16:47,637 --> 00:16:53,598 Very heavy, man. Oh, so that's why my father wasn't at the knighting ceremony. 169 00:16:54,078 --> 00:16:55,518 Well, no actually. 170 00:16:55,558 --> 00:16:57,758 He was kidnapped after you were knighted. 171 00:16:59,598 --> 00:17:01,598 He was last seen on his yatch. 172 00:17:01,798 --> 00:17:06,198 Oh, yes. The "HMS Shag-at-sea". - Exactly, just take a look. 173 00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:07,599 Gentlemen fall in. 174 00:17:08,399 --> 00:17:11,119 Austin, these men were signed to guard you father. 175 00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:13,439 Okay, chaps, chins up, trousers down. 176 00:17:14,039 --> 00:17:15,719 I think we may have found a clue. 177 00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:23,239 Gold blimey! All your privates have had their privates painted gold. How bizarre. 178 00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:28,560 Imagine, guilded tally-wackers, golden wedding-tackle, fourteen-carat trousers snakes... 179 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,360 - That's enough. - Okay. 180 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,440 Basil, there is only one person in the world, - 181 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,160 - who truly understand the psychology of a mad man... 182 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,200 - Dr. Evil. - Dr. Evil. 183 00:18:01,842 --> 00:18:03,402 I've been expecting you, Mr. Powers. 184 00:18:04,162 --> 00:18:05,562 My father is missing. 185 00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:08,282 Yes, I've heard. How ironic. 186 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:12,162 You finally caught me, yet now you need me more that ever. 187 00:18:12,602 --> 00:18:15,642 But then again, you've always needed me, haven't you Mr. Powers? 188 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,563 Remember when I told you, we are not so different you and I? 189 00:18:20,603 --> 00:18:22,723 We are not so different you and I. 190 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:27,003 - See, I did say that. - Very clever. 191 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:28,803 Now who has my father? 192 00:18:29,243 --> 00:18:32,003 Oh, oh...someone have some daddy issues. 193 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,643 Nothing could be my father from the truth. 194 00:18:35,883 --> 00:18:38,484 - You said my father. - No, I didn't. 195 00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:40,604 Didn't, did not. 196 00:18:42,244 --> 00:18:43,804 For me this is a dad issue. 197 00:18:46,644 --> 00:18:48,004 Daddy love me. 198 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:52,404 It seems the knighting ceremony wasn't the only time your... - 199 00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,565 - daddy let you down. 200 00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:02,285 Remember that day at the academy? Think! 201 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:05,925 It was graduation. 202 00:19:12,646 --> 00:19:15,526 Yeah, baby, yeah. Do I make you horny, baby? 203 00:19:16,246 --> 00:19:17,486 That, that's the spot. Right there. 204 00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,646 Have you ever heard of knocking, man? 205 00:19:25,486 --> 00:19:28,526 - Right! - We were just getting started. 206 00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:34,367 Don't forget, Mr. Powers, may tell you about the brief oral exam. 207 00:19:34,647 --> 00:19:40,127 When I have the bit, it's mostly oral, and not too...brief, baby. 208 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,487 You know, brief and oral exam. 209 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:54,968 It looks like Master Evil is the top-contender for this year's International Man of Mystery. 210 00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:56,768 He's number one in the class. 211 00:19:59,248 --> 00:20:01,648 Hey, everybody, I'm Number 1. 212 00:20:03,408 --> 00:20:05,008 Hello, I'm Number 2. 213 00:20:05,969 --> 00:20:07,289 Nice to meet you Number 2. 214 00:20:07,409 --> 00:20:11,369 But, now I'm going to be named this year's International Man of Mystery. 215 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,250 Who throws a cup cake? Honestly? 216 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:36,690 And now it's time for award of greatest honour. This year's International Man of Mystery is... 217 00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:41,131 - Austin Powers! - Well done Austin. 218 00:20:53,971 --> 00:20:57,411 It has always been my dream to win this award just like my dad. 219 00:20:58,331 --> 00:20:59,412 Glad he could be here. 220 00:21:00,052 --> 00:21:01,652 Stand up, dad. Take a bow. 221 00:21:08,532 --> 00:21:09,772 Dad? 222 00:21:24,973 --> 00:21:28,013 I had the best grades in the class, and I didn't get diddly squat. 223 00:21:28,893 --> 00:21:30,693 - Here we go. - Tell me Mr. Powers. 224 00:21:31,013 --> 00:21:36,894 What did you find on those sailors? A golden surprise? Perhaps? 225 00:21:38,014 --> 00:21:43,494 How did...yes...all the sailors had their meat and two vege painted gold. 226 00:21:44,454 --> 00:21:47,574 Yes, it's the distinctive calling card of a criminal master mind. 227 00:21:47,854 --> 00:21:48,694 The abli named... 228 00:21:51,174 --> 00:21:52,255 Goldmember. 229 00:21:55,015 --> 00:21:56,695 How can I find this Goldmember? 230 00:21:58,815 --> 00:22:00,375 Quid pro quo, Mr Powers. 231 00:22:01,495 --> 00:22:03,895 Yes, squid pro row. 232 00:22:05,095 --> 00:22:09,095 I'll give you Goldmember. You give me a transfer to a regular prison. 233 00:22:09,815 --> 00:22:12,896 So that I could be with my beloved Mini-Me. 234 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:17,816 Okay. I'll get you a transfer to a regular prison. Now where's Goldmember? 235 00:22:18,096 --> 00:22:19,576 Not where Mr. Powers, - 236 00:22:20,416 --> 00:22:21,176 - but when. 237 00:22:21,936 --> 00:22:26,536 1975 'Studio 69' Disco. New York City. Corner 69 and 8th. 238 00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:30,137 You go now, Mr. Powers. Fly fly. 239 00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,457 I'll get it. 240 00:22:46,738 --> 00:22:52,818 Instead of hiding your father in some remote location. Goldmember's hiding in 1975. 241 00:22:53,098 --> 00:22:56,578 So our engineers has crafted this vehicle, - 242 00:22:56,618 --> 00:22:58,338 - to time travel to the 70s. 243 00:22:58,498 --> 00:23:04,659 - Smashing, Basil. A pimp mobile. - Yes, yes, I knew it would tickle your fancy. 244 00:23:05,099 --> 00:23:07,659 What can I say? Look. Cough... 245 00:23:09,739 --> 00:23:12,499 Here we go, 1975. 246 00:23:12,939 --> 00:23:13,739 Good luck, Austin. 247 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:17,579 1975, yeah baby, yeah! 248 00:24:37,224 --> 00:24:40,944 Good evening, everybody. And welcome to Studio 69. 249 00:24:41,384 --> 00:24:45,184 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Goldmember. 250 00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:58,585 Everybody, I'm from Holland! Isn't that wierd? 251 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,470 Well. If it isn't Austin Powers. 252 00:26:20,910 --> 00:26:21,470 I'm sorry? 253 00:26:21,910 --> 00:26:24,750 You got a lot of nerve, jagging your jive white ass in here. 254 00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:26,590 I don't belive we have met. 255 00:26:28,270 --> 00:26:31,470 It's me Foxxy. Foxxy Cleopatra. 256 00:26:31,950 --> 00:26:33,310 Long time no see. 257 00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:35,630 Stop! 258 00:26:36,230 --> 00:26:38,111 We can't be seen talking to each other. You dig? 259 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:40,111 I'm using this cat as a distration. 260 00:26:40,831 --> 00:26:42,431 I get it, yes, very clever. 261 00:26:43,151 --> 00:26:44,311 First things first. 262 00:26:47,671 --> 00:26:51,271 Eight years and no phonecall? Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra! 263 00:26:51,591 --> 00:26:52,471 Where have you been? 264 00:26:53,031 --> 00:26:57,632 Listen Foxxy. I just want you to know I never intended to hurt you, baby. 265 00:26:58,792 --> 00:27:05,832 Well, all I know is. Momma only got a taste of honey. But she wanted the whole beehive. 266 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:13,913 - Oh, beehive! - You always knew how to make me smile. 267 00:27:14,353 --> 00:27:18,313 Well you know it's a gift really, I...what am I doing? 268 00:27:18,433 --> 00:27:20,873 Foxxy, what are you doing i Goldmember's club? 269 00:27:22,353 --> 00:27:23,153 I'm undercover. 270 00:27:23,753 --> 00:27:26,593 About a year ago, my partner at the bureau was killed. 271 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:30,273 And that jive-ass turkey, Goldmember is the prime suspect. 272 00:27:32,714 --> 00:27:33,874 Your father is in the back room - 273 00:27:34,314 --> 00:27:35,194 - under heavy guard. 274 00:27:35,354 --> 00:27:35,994 Thanks Foxxy. 275 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:37,914 Austin, good luck. 276 00:27:55,355 --> 00:27:56,195 Dad! 277 00:27:56,235 --> 00:27:59,595 Hello son. Just overpowering my guards. 278 00:27:59,915 --> 00:28:02,115 I'm here to rescue you. Come quickly! 279 00:28:02,275 --> 00:28:06,115 I got a better idea. Why don't you rescue me in about...what seven or eight minuts? 280 00:28:07,836 --> 00:28:08,756 Knock it off. 281 00:28:09,076 --> 00:28:12,116 I don't wanna see my dad on the job. Come on let's go. 282 00:28:12,396 --> 00:28:15,316 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry girls. I gotta... 283 00:28:19,476 --> 00:28:20,636 What's wrong with your neck? 284 00:28:20,796 --> 00:28:24,356 I took a Viagra, it got stuck in my throat and I've had a stiff neck for hours. 285 00:28:27,077 --> 00:28:30,757 Listen, dad, if you are gonna talk about naughty things infront of these American girls. 286 00:28:31,357 --> 00:28:33,077 Then at least speak english-english. 287 00:28:34,237 --> 00:28:35,797 All right, my son. 288 00:29:05,959 --> 00:29:07,479 God, that was good times, son. 289 00:29:17,119 --> 00:29:21,200 Welcome to 1975, Austin Powers and fassia. 290 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,320 Excuse me, while I change, the hola boogie has made me sweaty. 291 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,920 You see Mr. Powers. 292 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,520 I love gold. 293 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:40,041 The look of it, the taste of it, the smell of it, the texture... 294 00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:41,521 I love gold so much - 295 00:29:41,961 --> 00:29:43,921 - that I even lost my genitalier - 296 00:29:43,961 --> 00:29:46,001 - in an unfortunate smelting accident. 297 00:29:46,761 --> 00:29:49,761 Hence the name...Goldmember. 298 00:29:58,282 --> 00:30:00,082 We're both swingers, you see? 299 00:30:01,242 --> 00:30:02,362 You have a toite body. 300 00:30:02,682 --> 00:30:05,402 Yesh, I see that from your toite bands. 301 00:30:06,202 --> 00:30:08,642 Yesh, you are toite like a toiger! 302 00:30:09,242 --> 00:30:10,922 Would you like a shmoke and a pancake? 303 00:30:11,683 --> 00:30:12,483 A what? 304 00:30:12,523 --> 00:30:13,923 A shmoke and a pancake? 305 00:30:14,443 --> 00:30:16,843 You, know. flapjack and a cigarette? 306 00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:20,283 Hm? All right. Shigar and a waffle? No? 307 00:30:20,843 --> 00:30:22,403 Pipe and a crepe? No? 308 00:30:22,683 --> 00:30:23,563 Bong and a blintz? 309 00:30:24,643 --> 00:30:27,323 Oh, well. Then there is no pleasing you. 310 00:30:27,723 --> 00:30:28,683 That's not right. 311 00:30:29,604 --> 00:30:32,084 Uh, hello, what have we here? 312 00:30:32,484 --> 00:30:35,644 That's a keeper, yesh. Put it in the skin-box, please. 313 00:30:36,764 --> 00:30:37,684 I'm peeling. 314 00:30:38,124 --> 00:30:39,924 Oh, that's just disgusting. 315 00:30:40,084 --> 00:30:41,684 Quickly, quickly, thank you. 316 00:30:41,804 --> 00:30:42,804 Save me for myself. 317 00:30:43,084 --> 00:30:45,084 You're insane Goldmember! 318 00:30:46,724 --> 00:30:49,205 "And that's the away, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it." 319 00:30:49,485 --> 00:30:51,285 K.C. and the Sunshine Band. 320 00:30:51,765 --> 00:30:55,005 Alright, Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. 321 00:30:55,485 --> 00:30:57,765 There are only two things, I can't stand in this world: 322 00:30:58,405 --> 00:31:01,325 People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 323 00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:03,365 And the Dutch. 324 00:31:03,605 --> 00:31:04,245 What? 325 00:31:07,926 --> 00:31:10,006 Take the fassia away. 326 00:31:11,406 --> 00:31:15,646 Dutch-hater. And now it is time to say goodbye. 327 00:31:15,966 --> 00:31:17,686 Dr. Evil's orders. 328 00:31:17,966 --> 00:31:21,366 "Which for you is bad news, bears." 329 00:31:21,566 --> 00:31:22,526 Walter Matthau. 330 00:31:22,686 --> 00:31:26,207 Sha-zam! Up yours jive-turkey. 331 00:31:26,647 --> 00:31:27,447 Traitor! 332 00:31:29,247 --> 00:31:30,687 Here's the gun, point it at him. 333 00:31:31,007 --> 00:31:32,047 2002! 334 00:31:33,727 --> 00:31:37,007 - They're taking my father to the time machine. - You say what-machine? 335 00:31:37,047 --> 00:31:37,607 Come on now. 336 00:31:39,767 --> 00:31:40,567 This way, sugar! 337 00:31:50,568 --> 00:31:52,528 That was close Foxxy, I owe you one. 338 00:31:52,688 --> 00:31:54,808 Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office. 339 00:31:54,968 --> 00:31:57,528 - It's a microfilm, maybe a clue. - Smashing. 340 00:31:57,568 --> 00:31:58,689 I wanna go to the future with you. 341 00:31:59,409 --> 00:32:02,169 We can catch Goldmember together. I owe it to my partner. 342 00:32:02,609 --> 00:32:05,129 I should warn you Foxxy, 2002 is very different. 343 00:32:05,449 --> 00:32:07,809 Well, the future better get ready for me. 344 00:32:08,409 --> 00:32:10,049 Because I'm Foxxy Cleopatra. 345 00:32:10,089 --> 00:32:12,009 And I'm a whole lotta woman! 346 00:32:15,249 --> 00:32:17,090 2002, here we come! 347 00:32:25,010 --> 00:32:27,410 All visitations limited five minuts. 348 00:32:28,170 --> 00:32:30,130 No spitting in the visitors room. 349 00:32:34,170 --> 00:32:37,011 Herr Doctor. I have some news. 350 00:32:37,691 --> 00:32:38,531 It's your son. 351 00:32:39,331 --> 00:32:43,811 - He wants to take over the family business. - Scotty does? 352 00:32:44,331 --> 00:32:47,731 - He's gotten so evil he's even started losing his hair. - I know, it's sweet. 353 00:32:48,411 --> 00:32:50,771 Oh, he just wants to make you proud, Herr Doctor. 354 00:32:51,211 --> 00:32:53,452 After all it's hard on the boy not having a father. 355 00:32:53,732 --> 00:32:58,012 You know. First you were frozen, then you were in space, now you're in jail. 356 00:32:58,052 --> 00:33:00,052 Don't tell me he feels neglected. 357 00:33:00,532 --> 00:33:02,932 I was adopted by freakin' Belgians. 358 00:33:03,452 --> 00:33:04,692 You were adopted? 359 00:33:04,852 --> 00:33:06,732 I never met my birth parents. 360 00:33:07,492 --> 00:33:08,612 There was a car accident. 361 00:33:09,972 --> 00:33:12,373 I'm told that it was a beautiful Belgium day. 362 00:33:12,853 --> 00:33:17,733 The smell of waffles and brussels sprout filled the summer air...until... 363 00:33:19,613 --> 00:33:21,293 My birthmother was incinerated. 364 00:33:21,853 --> 00:33:24,493 I only survived because of her smoking carcass - 365 00:33:24,813 --> 00:33:27,493 - formed a protective coocoon of slaughtered human effluence. 366 00:33:28,494 --> 00:33:31,654 A Belgium man and his 15-year old love slave with wet feet - 367 00:33:31,694 --> 00:33:35,094 - was looting the accident scene, they come across a bloodsoaked baby...moi! 368 00:33:35,454 --> 00:33:39,814 They raised me to be evil. You know, that old chestnut. 369 00:33:40,414 --> 00:33:41,094 Ja. 370 00:33:41,374 --> 00:33:43,014 But nothing compares to this. 371 00:33:43,294 --> 00:33:46,375 Being inside the belly of the beast, night after night all alone... 372 00:33:46,655 --> 00:33:48,895 Daddy's all pant up, let's freak. 373 00:34:06,376 --> 00:34:07,096 Times up! 374 00:34:07,576 --> 00:34:09,576 Visitings hours are over. Get to the line. 375 00:34:10,496 --> 00:34:11,496 Cuffs up! 376 00:34:17,736 --> 00:34:18,456 Move it! 377 00:34:23,577 --> 00:34:26,177 Hi there. How are you sleeping? Good? 378 00:34:29,217 --> 00:34:31,617 Gentlemen, listen up, ya'll. 379 00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:33,017 Here's the new plan. 380 00:34:34,257 --> 00:34:35,537 You're gonna start a riot. 381 00:34:36,217 --> 00:34:38,377 And we're gonna walk out the front door. 382 00:34:41,858 --> 00:34:46,138 Hey man, I know guys on crack that makes more sense than you. 383 00:34:46,898 --> 00:34:47,618 Really? 384 00:34:48,258 --> 00:34:50,418 Then let me put it to you this way, 'coz... 385 00:36:10,583 --> 00:36:14,583 Alright, listen up! Tonight 8 PM you're gonna start a riot. 386 00:36:15,023 --> 00:36:16,623 Yes, Dr. Evil! 387 00:36:17,183 --> 00:36:20,463 Attention all guards. There is a riot in progress. 388 00:36:20,703 --> 00:36:21,983 Seal all exits! 389 00:36:22,983 --> 00:36:27,024 Attention, Dr. Evil and his clone are trying to escape. 390 00:36:27,624 --> 00:36:31,104 All guards report to cell block A immediately... 391 00:36:42,944 --> 00:36:45,785 There you are. Good morning, sunshine. 392 00:36:45,945 --> 00:36:46,825 Good morning. 393 00:36:47,385 --> 00:36:48,065 How did you sleep? 394 00:36:48,945 --> 00:36:50,105 - Great! - Me too. 395 00:36:50,545 --> 00:36:51,785 If these lips could talk. 396 00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:54,865 Oh, hello. 397 00:36:56,785 --> 00:36:58,985 You have the right to remain sexy, sugar. 398 00:36:59,025 --> 00:37:01,305 Oh, I hope there's a search involved. 399 00:37:03,506 --> 00:37:04,466 You got mail. 400 00:37:04,906 --> 00:37:06,506 So, what does this thing do? 401 00:37:07,186 --> 00:37:08,786 Well, it's called the Internet. 402 00:37:08,906 --> 00:37:12,906 It complete revolutionize the way we live and access vital information. 403 00:37:13,026 --> 00:37:14,426 For example, have a look at this. 404 00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:26,027 - Now that's vital information! - I know it's amazing. 405 00:37:28,707 --> 00:37:33,147 - Oh, Basil, what's happening, baby? - A lot is happening Foxxy. 406 00:37:33,387 --> 00:37:35,107 Dr. Evil has escaped. 407 00:37:35,867 --> 00:37:40,548 The good news is one of our agents has managed to infiltrate Dr. Evil's organization. 408 00:37:40,988 --> 00:37:44,588 Excellent, Basil we have been tried for years, to get a mole inside Dr. Evil's lair. 409 00:37:44,628 --> 00:37:46,548 - We now have that mole. - Yes. 410 00:37:47,148 --> 00:37:48,748 Ah, and here he is. 411 00:37:51,468 --> 00:37:52,228 So, you're the... 412 00:37:53,948 --> 00:37:57,509 Mo...mo...mo... 413 00:37:57,549 --> 00:38:01,389 Most...most...most excellent agent we've ever seen. 414 00:38:01,669 --> 00:38:04,909 Yes, the most excellent agent we've ever seen. Thank you. 415 00:38:05,629 --> 00:38:06,709 Thank you. 416 00:38:07,629 --> 00:38:08,989 Now I wasn't able to get the exact location. 417 00:38:09,309 --> 00:38:12,789 But I did learn that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside Tokyo, Japan. 418 00:38:16,390 --> 00:38:18,750 By the way I realize that I have a large mole on my face. 419 00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:23,710 Where? What? Where's that mole? I didn't see one. 420 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:30,710 I also realize the ironi, that I am myself...a mole. 421 00:38:31,711 --> 00:38:33,391 No one would make that connection. 422 00:38:36,431 --> 00:38:40,351 Anyway...well done, old chap. Jolly good work. 423 00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:42,471 Nice to mole you...meet you! 424 00:38:42,631 --> 00:38:44,991 - Nice to meet you, Mole! Don't say mole. - Stop! 425 00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:46,111 - I said mole. - Stop! 426 00:38:50,312 --> 00:38:51,032 - Bye - Mole! 427 00:38:55,992 --> 00:38:56,672 Mole! 428 00:39:00,912 --> 00:39:01,752 Mole! 429 00:39:01,992 --> 00:39:03,232 Oh, shut up! 430 00:39:05,672 --> 00:39:07,833 Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley! 431 00:39:22,353 --> 00:39:23,393 Up periscope. 432 00:39:29,194 --> 00:39:30,274 Ladies and gentlemen. 433 00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:33,114 Welcome to my new submarine lair. 434 00:39:35,074 --> 00:39:37,114 It's long and hard, and full of seamen. 435 00:39:42,795 --> 00:39:43,635 Nothing? 436 00:39:43,675 --> 00:39:44,315 No? 437 00:39:44,355 --> 00:39:45,355 Not even a titter? 438 00:39:46,435 --> 00:39:47,155 Tough sub. 439 00:39:47,435 --> 00:39:53,675 - Dr. Evil, You look very toit! Yesh, toit like a toiger! Yesh Yesh Yesh! - Really? 440 00:39:53,715 --> 00:39:54,995 Yesh, you look like a "macho-man". 441 00:39:55,235 --> 00:39:56,475 Village People. 442 00:39:57,275 --> 00:39:58,355 You know, Goldmember? 443 00:39:58,395 --> 00:40:01,356 I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude! 444 00:40:01,756 --> 00:40:03,116 Yeah! A little creepy! 445 00:40:04,396 --> 00:40:07,236 Ooh yesh! Yesh yesh yesh yesh! This is a keeper! 446 00:40:10,716 --> 00:40:14,156 Alright... you're not going to put that skin in your mouth, are you? 447 00:40:15,676 --> 00:40:17,756 You did... ok... that's just gross! 448 00:40:19,237 --> 00:40:21,357 Yesh, salty! Yesh that was good! 449 00:40:21,637 --> 00:40:22,757 Ladies and gentlemen. 450 00:40:25,037 --> 00:40:25,957 As you know. 451 00:40:26,837 --> 00:40:29,157 We've been designing a "tractorbeam". 452 00:40:29,597 --> 00:40:31,357 Code name Preparation H. 453 00:40:32,117 --> 00:40:36,758 It's powerful enough to pull the meteor..."Midas 22". 454 00:40:37,198 --> 00:40:39,198 Into a collision course with the Earth, - 455 00:40:39,478 --> 00:40:42,718 - upon entering the atmosphere the hot ball of magma. 456 00:40:43,718 --> 00:40:47,038 Will strike and melt the polar icecaps, causing a global flood. 457 00:40:47,598 --> 00:40:49,518 But enough of my technical mumbo-jumbo. 458 00:40:49,798 --> 00:40:51,118 Allow me to demonstrate. 459 00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:57,159 Lower the globe. 460 00:40:57,559 --> 00:40:59,399 Lower the globe! 461 00:41:00,399 --> 00:41:02,319 Av, av... 462 00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:03,559 Scheisse. 463 00:41:03,839 --> 00:41:05,839 Well, congratulations numb nuts... - 464 00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,679 - you've succeeded in turning me into a frickin' Jack in the box! 465 00:41:10,119 --> 00:41:12,600 Get it off. Get it off! It's dark. It's dark. 466 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,600 I'm okay, I'm okay. 467 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,320 Release the meteor. 468 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,080 Release the meteor! 469 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:25,640 No way! 470 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,400 Right in the kanickies! 471 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:28,600 God dammit! 472 00:41:30,401 --> 00:41:31,521 Guys! 473 00:41:32,281 --> 00:41:33,561 Way to go a-hole! 474 00:41:34,001 --> 00:41:37,681 All right hold on, let me try to find my balls for God's sakes! 475 00:41:37,841 --> 00:41:41,281 One, two... and three, okay. I'm okay! 476 00:41:42,401 --> 00:41:46,041 Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurances policy. 477 00:41:46,321 --> 00:41:50,002 May I present to you the very sexual, the very toite. 478 00:41:50,962 --> 00:41:53,562 Austin Powers fassia. 479 00:41:54,242 --> 00:41:55,082 His what? 480 00:41:55,362 --> 00:41:56,722 His fassia Dr. Evil. 481 00:41:57,002 --> 00:41:57,962 His ferder? 482 00:41:59,042 --> 00:42:02,362 - What's a ferder? -His fassia! You know, the fassia. 483 00:42:02,802 --> 00:42:06,043 Yeah Goldmember, I dont speak freaky-deaky dutch. 484 00:42:06,483 --> 00:42:07,723 Okay perv boy? 485 00:42:07,763 --> 00:42:09,803 Fassia, his dad, dad is fassia. 486 00:42:09,843 --> 00:42:13,043 Oh his dad, oh his FATHER. 487 00:42:13,323 --> 00:42:14,523 Yes, that's the right accent. 488 00:42:14,843 --> 00:42:15,683 Isn't that wierd. 489 00:42:16,203 --> 00:42:17,763 Father, father. 490 00:42:18,483 --> 00:42:22,163 - Ah, Nigel Powers. - Hello, hello. 491 00:42:25,764 --> 00:42:26,804 Bring him to me! 492 00:42:26,844 --> 00:42:28,924 Easy peasy lemon squeezy! 493 00:42:30,564 --> 00:42:33,244 Put the guns down. Is this the first day on the job or something? 494 00:42:33,284 --> 00:42:36,724 Look, this is how it goes... You attack me one at a time. 495 00:42:37,044 --> 00:42:39,804 And I knock you out in a single punch. Okay, go! 496 00:42:40,845 --> 00:42:41,645 Oh, he's good. 497 00:42:43,445 --> 00:42:44,445 Do you know who I am? 498 00:42:45,325 --> 00:42:48,925 Have you any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years? 499 00:42:49,565 --> 00:42:51,445 And look at you. You haven't even got a name tag. 500 00:42:51,565 --> 00:42:52,685 You got no chance! 501 00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:54,445 Why don't you just fall down? 502 00:42:58,005 --> 00:43:01,286 Alright, Dr. Evil give yourself up, while you still got a chance. 503 00:43:03,326 --> 00:43:06,126 Okay, okay. You got me. 504 00:43:06,566 --> 00:43:10,326 Nigel Powers, meet...Mini-Me. 505 00:43:10,366 --> 00:43:12,606 Oh, blimey. I though I smelled cabbage. 506 00:43:13,726 --> 00:43:14,646 Take hime away! 507 00:43:15,526 --> 00:43:18,647 Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? 508 00:43:19,327 --> 00:43:20,847 It's kindda my thing, you know? 509 00:43:27,167 --> 00:43:30,247 How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard! 510 00:43:32,607 --> 00:43:36,528 Attention henchmen. It's health week. Don't forget your physical. Dr. Evil's orders. 511 00:43:41,488 --> 00:43:43,608 You know, I think it's a shame the way they treat you. 512 00:43:44,368 --> 00:43:46,288 Just because you're one-eight their size. 513 00:43:47,168 --> 00:43:49,728 Doesn't mean you deserve one-eight of their respect. 514 00:43:52,769 --> 00:43:55,809 Mini fella. I'm...I'm curious. 515 00:43:57,289 --> 00:44:00,369 Is everything in proportion. 516 00:44:01,849 --> 00:44:03,049 You know your bobby dangler, - 517 00:44:03,089 --> 00:44:04,649 your general, two colonels. 518 00:44:04,689 --> 00:44:06,849 Your giggle stick, master of ceremonies. 519 00:44:07,969 --> 00:44:09,809 Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. 520 00:44:15,770 --> 00:44:18,250 My word! You're a tripod. 521 00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:24,090 What do you feed that thing? It's like a baby's arm holding an apple. 522 00:44:25,770 --> 00:44:27,971 The good news is. If you ever get tired. 523 00:44:28,251 --> 00:44:29,651 You can use it as a kick-stand. 524 00:44:34,971 --> 00:44:37,971 I think we both know who the real brain is behind this operation. 525 00:44:53,332 --> 00:44:55,692 Tokyo, a go go, baby, yeah! 526 00:44:58,132 --> 00:44:59,292 What's kicking, Basil? 527 00:44:59,332 --> 00:45:00,972 A lot's kicking, Foxxy. 528 00:45:01,572 --> 00:45:02,292 Austin? 529 00:45:02,332 --> 00:45:06,533 One of Dr. Evil's henchmen has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena. 530 00:45:06,573 --> 00:45:09,373 - See there immediately. - Thanks, Basil. 531 00:45:15,853 --> 00:45:20,053 Ah, Jesus Christ, this diaper is making my nuts rub together. 532 00:45:20,533 --> 00:45:22,454 It's gonna start a fire! 533 00:45:23,454 --> 00:45:24,774 That's Fat Bastard! 534 00:45:40,895 --> 00:45:42,855 Do you know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? 535 00:45:43,335 --> 00:45:44,095 TWISTER! 536 00:45:55,935 --> 00:45:57,856 - That's not right. - Sure ain't. 537 00:45:58,296 --> 00:46:01,696 Are we done here? I've gotta take a crap. 538 00:46:04,016 --> 00:46:06,696 Wait a tic. Something doesn't smell right. 539 00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:09,216 And I think it's Fat Bastard. 540 00:46:26,857 --> 00:46:27,817 You okay, Austin? 541 00:46:27,857 --> 00:46:29,417 Sound as a pound, love. 542 00:46:32,497 --> 00:46:34,338 I didn't have any corn! 543 00:46:49,498 --> 00:46:52,739 Hey diaper-lady! Here's my diaper. 544 00:46:54,579 --> 00:46:56,659 I think I might have pinched one off to soon. 545 00:47:00,059 --> 00:47:01,939 I left a rosebud in there for you. 546 00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:13,780 You really are a fat bastard! 547 00:47:13,940 --> 00:47:17,060 You know, that hurts my feelings. I'm trying to go on a diet, you know. 548 00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:20,100 The zoan. You know curbs are the enemy. 549 00:47:23,620 --> 00:47:27,381 Oh...who's your friend? 550 00:47:28,781 --> 00:47:30,821 Oh, I liked to have a go with that filly. 551 00:47:32,101 --> 00:47:33,381 Do you find me sexy? 552 00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:36,421 Look at my titties! 553 00:47:37,341 --> 00:47:38,261 Shut your mouth! 554 00:47:41,141 --> 00:47:42,381 Alright, that's enough! 555 00:47:42,981 --> 00:47:46,342 - Okay, you got me, put it there, would you? - Okay. 556 00:47:51,742 --> 00:47:52,702 Come here, you! 557 00:47:53,622 --> 00:47:56,102 Oh, my titties! 558 00:47:56,662 --> 00:47:58,262 You give me a nipple! 559 00:48:03,503 --> 00:48:04,863 I've got you now! 560 00:48:06,503 --> 00:48:07,703 Come here you! 561 00:48:13,863 --> 00:48:17,303 Prepare for the ultimate wire-fighting manoeuvre! 562 00:48:18,663 --> 00:48:22,224 I just hope my wire-fighting team is ready! 563 00:48:40,865 --> 00:48:44,905 - Cranky! - Oh, great, isn't this magical? 564 00:48:45,345 --> 00:48:46,745 One of my wires broke. 565 00:48:54,065 --> 00:48:55,225 Your under arrest, sugar! 566 00:48:57,826 --> 00:49:01,026 Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat you make a exchange with? 567 00:49:02,146 --> 00:49:05,186 All right. His name is Roboto. 568 00:49:05,746 --> 00:49:07,866 He owns Roboto Industries. 569 00:49:08,306 --> 00:49:12,306 He's designing some contraption for Dr. Evil...I don't know... 570 00:49:12,586 --> 00:49:13,867 - The tractorbeam. - The tractorbeam. 571 00:49:14,187 --> 00:49:14,907 That's it! 572 00:49:15,187 --> 00:49:18,227 Listen, do you honestly think that crime can pay? 573 00:49:18,947 --> 00:49:21,387 Well, to be honest with you, I've been trying to go legit. 574 00:49:22,267 --> 00:49:25,267 I really take my sumo wrestling seriously, you know. 575 00:49:26,387 --> 00:49:28,467 But when you are an overweight child. 576 00:49:29,507 --> 00:49:32,308 In this society that demands perfection. 577 00:49:33,948 --> 00:49:37,908 Like your sense of right, wrong, fair and unfair. 578 00:49:39,868 --> 00:49:42,468 We'll always be tragically scud. 579 00:49:48,348 --> 00:49:50,269 Did you just soil yourself? 580 00:49:50,989 --> 00:49:51,989 Maybe. 581 00:49:53,229 --> 00:49:56,469 It did sound a little wet, didn't it, right in the end, uhh... 582 00:49:57,309 --> 00:49:58,309 Let's have a smell, alright. 583 00:49:59,269 --> 00:50:01,229 Wafting, wafting. 584 00:50:01,269 --> 00:50:04,229 Well, everyone likes there own brand, don't they? This is magic! 585 00:50:04,949 --> 00:50:06,189 Alright, analysis. 586 00:50:07,230 --> 00:50:09,270 Smells like carrots and throw up. 587 00:50:10,190 --> 00:50:11,870 That could gag a maggot! 588 00:50:12,030 --> 00:50:16,110 Smells like hot, sick arse and a dead carcass. 589 00:50:17,390 --> 00:50:19,910 Even stink would say that that stinks! 590 00:50:20,510 --> 00:50:22,310 You know when you go to the apartment building, - 591 00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:25,151 - and you smell others people's cookin' on each floor, - 592 00:50:25,191 --> 00:50:26,551 - and you go: "What are they cookin'". 593 00:50:26,711 --> 00:50:28,311 That, plus crap! 594 00:50:36,111 --> 00:50:39,151 - Hey pa! - Hey Scotty! How you been sport... 595 00:50:41,431 --> 00:50:42,431 I got you a present. 596 00:50:42,872 --> 00:50:43,712 Really? 597 00:50:44,232 --> 00:50:44,952 Open the tank. 598 00:50:45,112 --> 00:50:45,872 Open the tank! 599 00:50:52,832 --> 00:50:56,232 Are those sharks with laserbeams attached to their heads? 600 00:51:00,793 --> 00:51:01,673 Cool! 601 00:51:02,113 --> 00:51:05,913 You mean I actually have fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads? 602 00:51:07,233 --> 00:51:08,793 You're the best evil son an evil dad could ever ask for. 603 00:51:12,833 --> 00:51:13,633 I love you, dad. 604 00:51:17,313 --> 00:51:18,274 I love you, son. 605 00:51:20,074 --> 00:51:20,714 Starting moment... 606 00:51:21,474 --> 00:51:23,394 Scotty! Come here. 607 00:51:24,794 --> 00:51:26,714 Pop a squat, right next to daddy! 608 00:51:29,234 --> 00:51:32,594 Mini-Me, move down the bench. 609 00:51:35,754 --> 00:51:36,755 There's a power struggle. 610 00:51:42,395 --> 00:51:44,115 Scotty's on fire! 611 00:51:46,315 --> 00:51:48,035 Alright, it's getting crowded in here. 612 00:51:48,195 --> 00:51:50,075 Everyone out, everyone out, come on! 613 00:51:50,635 --> 00:51:51,355 Not you, Scotty. 614 00:51:51,555 --> 00:51:52,355 Not you, Number 2. 615 00:51:52,515 --> 00:51:53,115 Not you, Frau. 616 00:51:53,155 --> 00:51:54,036 Not you, Goldmember. 617 00:51:54,436 --> 00:51:55,676 Not you guys back there. 618 00:51:55,996 --> 00:51:57,596 Not you henchman holding wrench. 619 00:51:58,236 --> 00:52:01,956 Not you henchman arbitrarily turning knobs making it seam like your doing something. 620 00:52:14,557 --> 00:52:15,797 This is uncomfortable! 621 00:52:16,877 --> 00:52:18,477 The tiny one can't take a hint. 622 00:52:20,357 --> 00:52:22,437 He doesn't understand, He's small. 623 00:52:39,918 --> 00:52:41,758 Hello Foxxy. Austin. 624 00:52:41,918 --> 00:52:45,118 We've comfirmed what Fat Bastard told you about Roboto is accurate. 625 00:52:45,398 --> 00:52:48,399 He was hired by Dr. Evil to contruct Preparation H. 626 00:52:49,119 --> 00:52:52,359 So Roboto had the technology to build Goldmember's tractorbeam. 627 00:52:52,839 --> 00:52:54,759 Which means Roboto will lead us to Goldmember. 628 00:52:54,799 --> 00:52:56,799 Which means Goldmember will lead us to my father. 629 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,800 - You speak Japanese? - A little. 630 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,800 Well you might be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debator. 631 00:53:26,241 --> 00:53:28,161 I'm looking for my father. He was kidnapped. 632 00:53:33,521 --> 00:53:34,881 Please eat what? 633 00:53:35,481 --> 00:53:40,882 Wait. He said: "Please eat some shitake mushrooms." 634 00:53:41,522 --> 00:53:51,642 Tell me. What do you know about...s...my father's where...about...s. 635 00:53:57,722 --> 00:53:59,563 You're ass is happy? 636 00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:01,243 No! 637 00:54:03,443 --> 00:54:06,643 He said: "Your assignment is an unhappy one". 638 00:54:10,763 --> 00:54:12,323 Nice potty-mouth, dirtbag. 639 00:54:18,364 --> 00:54:21,404 Yes. Quite off topic, thank you very much. 640 00:54:21,684 --> 00:54:23,404 Why don't I just speak in English? 641 00:54:25,044 --> 00:54:26,764 That would be a good idea, now wouldn't it? 642 00:54:27,124 --> 00:54:28,804 That way I wouldn't miss-read the subtitles - 643 00:54:28,844 --> 00:54:31,124 - making you it seem like you're saying that are dirty. 644 00:54:32,564 --> 00:54:35,325 I'm sorry to hear about your father. But I can't help you. 645 00:54:37,285 --> 00:54:37,925 Please excuse me. 646 00:54:38,365 --> 00:54:39,205 I have another appointment. 647 00:54:45,245 --> 00:54:46,085 By the way... 648 00:54:51,725 --> 00:54:53,126 Mr. Roboto is lying to us. 649 00:54:53,686 --> 00:54:54,846 Tell me something I don't know. 650 00:54:54,886 --> 00:54:56,206 I open-mouth kissed a horse once. 651 00:54:56,726 --> 00:54:58,246 - Say-what? - That's something you don't know. 652 00:54:58,726 --> 00:55:01,246 My spider-senses tells me that my father is still in this building. 653 00:55:01,806 --> 00:55:04,046 You keep a look out. I'm gonna try to sneak in. 654 00:57:09,973 --> 00:57:10,773 Sha-zam! 655 00:57:11,933 --> 00:57:12,613 Come on, sugar. 656 00:57:18,214 --> 00:57:19,574 There is Goldmember and Roboto. 657 00:57:19,614 --> 00:57:23,654 Yesh. Very impressive put Preparation H into my stooping transporten. 658 00:57:27,774 --> 00:57:29,614 You need this to tone the tractorbeam. 659 00:57:30,014 --> 00:57:30,974 It's a gold key. 660 00:57:33,815 --> 00:57:34,535 Smarty pants. 661 00:57:35,295 --> 00:57:35,975 Let's spread out. 662 00:57:41,575 --> 00:57:42,615 Hands up, Goldmember! 663 00:57:42,895 --> 00:57:43,975 It's payback time. 664 00:57:45,415 --> 00:57:46,615 Sure you can kill me. 665 00:57:46,655 --> 00:57:50,255 But then, what happens to Austin Powers' fassia? 666 00:57:58,616 --> 00:57:59,416 Dad! 667 00:57:59,456 --> 00:58:02,816 Yesh! And now he's going to have an unfortunate smelting accident. 668 00:58:12,017 --> 00:58:14,377 Don't worry dad! I'm here to rescue you. 669 00:58:15,377 --> 00:58:18,577 May I point out, that last time around you fell into to an obvious trap. 670 00:58:18,737 --> 00:58:21,097 Now your're trying to save me instead of stopping Goldmember. 671 00:58:21,137 --> 00:58:23,617 Please, I'm not gonna let Goldmember get away! 672 00:58:24,177 --> 00:58:25,817 Austin, Goldmember is getting away. 673 00:58:32,058 --> 00:58:35,178 Hello, hello, aren't you gonna introduce us Austin? 674 00:58:35,858 --> 00:58:36,578 Foxxy, this is... 675 00:58:36,618 --> 00:58:38,058 Powers. Nigel Powers. 676 00:58:39,058 --> 00:58:40,818 Is that Eau de Fleuratia your wearing? 677 00:58:41,098 --> 00:58:41,818 Yes, it is. 678 00:58:42,618 --> 00:58:43,938 That's how a woman should smell. 679 00:58:44,659 --> 00:58:46,099 Especially one as beautiful as you. 680 00:58:46,419 --> 00:58:50,139 My my...even in the face of danger you live up to your reputation. 681 00:58:52,939 --> 00:58:53,739 Get on with it! 682 00:58:58,219 --> 00:58:59,219 I got an idea. 683 00:59:04,340 --> 00:59:05,820 Your spycar is a mini. 684 00:59:05,940 --> 00:59:06,980 It's not the size mate. 685 00:59:07,700 --> 00:59:08,740 It's how you use it. 686 00:59:31,341 --> 00:59:33,181 You know I would have found my way out, very well. 687 00:59:33,421 --> 00:59:35,061 What? I saved your life! 688 00:59:35,101 --> 00:59:35,501 Listen. 689 00:59:35,541 --> 00:59:36,581 Should have been doing your job! 690 00:59:36,621 --> 00:59:37,742 Oh, your welcome, mate. 691 00:59:37,782 --> 00:59:39,382 Shut up and turn around, please! 692 01:00:06,783 --> 01:00:09,463 Run! It's Godzilla! 693 01:00:09,503 --> 01:00:10,623 It looks like Godzilla. 694 01:00:10,663 --> 01:00:12,903 But due to International Copyright Laws...it's not. 695 01:00:13,223 --> 01:00:15,344 Still we should run, like it is Godzilla! 696 01:00:15,744 --> 01:00:16,344 Though it isn't. 697 01:00:22,264 --> 01:00:23,104 There is Goldmember. 698 01:00:29,904 --> 01:00:33,465 Greater-greater one-niner, this is Goldie-van. Over. 699 01:00:33,785 --> 01:00:37,425 10-4 there, Goldie-van this is Rubber-ducky, what's your ten-twenty? Over. 700 01:00:37,905 --> 01:00:43,505 I've got Preparation H in rear and smoke in the barrel of my backdoor... Viva las convoy. Over. 701 01:00:43,905 --> 01:00:47,105 Yee-haa. Copy that you son-of-a-bitch powder of monkeynuts. 702 01:00:48,265 --> 01:00:51,986 Open wide there Rubber-ducky, I'm entering your mouth now. Over. 703 01:00:59,466 --> 01:01:01,186 Great, Goldmember got away. 704 01:01:01,746 --> 01:01:02,266 Now what? 705 01:01:02,546 --> 01:01:05,506 I think it's obvious, we should take Dr. Evil's lair by force. 706 01:01:05,546 --> 01:01:07,667 - You can be my backup, son. - Backup? 707 01:01:08,107 --> 01:01:09,587 Well that's fairly condescending. 708 01:01:09,987 --> 01:01:12,187 Do you think Dr. Evil's is gonna expect an attack? 709 01:01:12,227 --> 01:01:13,867 We should infiltrate his lair. 710 01:01:14,187 --> 01:01:16,667 It's aint my first rodeo, cowboy. 711 01:01:16,827 --> 01:01:20,387 We need commandos, scuba...gadgets for god-sake. 712 01:01:20,787 --> 01:01:22,307 Well, I don't like to use gadgets. 713 01:01:23,187 --> 01:01:25,268 Outside the bedroom, I thank you... 714 01:01:29,308 --> 01:01:32,308 You know. I think being frozen, damaged your brain. 715 01:01:33,348 --> 01:01:35,108 Really? And how would you know? 716 01:01:35,788 --> 01:01:40,428 This is the most time we ever spent together, since...ever! 717 01:01:40,988 --> 01:01:42,228 What are you saying, son? 718 01:01:43,349 --> 01:01:45,709 What boy learned to drive a car with machineguns on it? 719 01:01:46,149 --> 01:01:48,069 Or had a helicopter you could fit in a nutsack? 720 01:01:49,229 --> 01:01:51,189 What about you Swedish nanny, Helga? 721 01:01:52,509 --> 01:01:53,789 Oh, yes, Helga! 722 01:01:53,829 --> 01:01:55,509 Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking. 723 01:01:57,069 --> 01:01:58,789 She stayed on, until you were 24. 724 01:02:00,590 --> 01:02:01,910 We were mates you and I. 725 01:02:02,150 --> 01:02:03,350 I didn't need a friend. 726 01:02:04,030 --> 01:02:05,270 I needed a father. 727 01:02:06,190 --> 01:02:08,270 You know I have risked my life trying to save you. 728 01:02:08,310 --> 01:02:10,590 And you still don't give me any respect. 729 01:02:10,870 --> 01:02:12,670 Respect? Come on. 730 01:02:12,990 --> 01:02:15,230 If you got an issue, here's your tissue. 731 01:02:22,671 --> 01:02:24,991 That is not funny. 732 01:02:25,591 --> 01:02:28,671 Well, I suppose we better go our seperate ways then? 733 01:02:30,751 --> 01:02:31,671 Fine. 734 01:02:35,031 --> 01:02:36,032 Fine. 735 01:02:47,192 --> 01:02:50,272 So. I've been assigned to welcome you to the Ministry of Defense. 736 01:02:50,432 --> 01:02:53,152 I have a letter from my director personally thanking you for switching sides. 737 01:03:00,113 --> 01:03:03,553 I...can't wait to inform Austin of your defection. 738 01:03:08,513 --> 01:03:09,753 Oh. Hello Basil. 739 01:03:10,473 --> 01:03:11,754 Yes, Austin should be here any second. 740 01:03:13,794 --> 01:03:15,234 Yes, I'm in Austin's hotel room right now. 741 01:03:24,274 --> 01:03:25,234 Assasin! 742 01:03:29,114 --> 01:03:30,355 Try to kill me will ya? 743 01:03:33,635 --> 01:03:35,315 Oh. You wanna be friends, huh? 744 01:03:36,915 --> 01:03:37,995 Wait a tick. 745 01:03:42,475 --> 01:03:43,955 I'm not falling for that again! 746 01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:54,556 But, at least he didn't mention it. 747 01:03:55,556 --> 01:03:56,676 Yes, I realize he can't talk. 748 01:03:58,116 --> 01:03:59,876 Listen I think Dr. Evil treated him badly. 749 01:03:59,916 --> 01:04:01,396 And that's why he has decided to help us. 750 01:04:07,517 --> 01:04:08,997 Come back here, you little bugger. 751 01:04:14,837 --> 01:04:17,037 Oh, yes. I'm sure Austin and Mini-Me, will get along famously. 752 01:04:19,037 --> 01:04:21,157 I guarantee nothing will happen to Mini-Me in my watch. 753 01:04:26,118 --> 01:04:28,278 Come here you bugger, I got ya. 754 01:04:32,998 --> 01:04:34,238 Oh, I think he and Austin will be united - 755 01:04:34,278 --> 01:04:36,638 - in their commitment to the mission of stopping Dr. Evil. 756 01:04:42,079 --> 01:04:43,559 Austin. There you are. 757 01:04:43,839 --> 01:04:44,879 I have come to tell you the good news. 758 01:04:49,479 --> 01:04:50,319 Mini-Me has... 759 01:04:52,119 --> 01:04:52,839 - switched sides. 760 01:04:56,799 --> 01:04:58,119 Sorry about that, old chap. 761 01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:01,800 Welcome aboard. 762 01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:04,400 My mole-stake. 763 01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:05,880 What was that? 764 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000 Listen. Just get it out of you system. 765 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:10,720 - No I'm fine. - I insist. 766 01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,040 We could work together better if you just... 767 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:12,800 Mole! 768 01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:13,920 Bloody mole! 769 01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:15,720 We are not supposed to talk about the bloody mole, - 770 01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:17,961 - but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face! 771 01:05:18,121 --> 01:05:19,801 I'm gonna chop it off, and cut it off. 772 01:05:19,841 --> 01:05:21,641 And make some guacamole! 773 01:05:24,121 --> 01:05:25,001 - Better? - Yeah. 774 01:05:40,002 --> 01:05:42,282 So you decided to join us, huh, Mini-Me? 775 01:05:43,362 --> 01:05:45,122 And welcome to the good side, my mini-brother. 776 01:05:45,602 --> 01:05:47,282 And thank you for the map for Dr. Evil's sub. 777 01:05:49,922 --> 01:05:50,682 What's this? 778 01:05:50,722 --> 01:05:53,443 It says: "Dr. Evil's tractorbeam is now complete" - 779 01:05:53,483 --> 01:05:56,603 - "there is not much time. Dr. Evil must pay!" 780 01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:02,203 "You are so beautiful." 781 01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:04,563 "Are you a clone of an angel?" 782 01:06:05,563 --> 01:06:07,483 That is so sweet! 783 01:06:07,963 --> 01:06:09,683 But no my mini-man, I'm not. 784 01:06:12,524 --> 01:06:14,644 "Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?" 785 01:06:16,044 --> 01:06:16,804 Yeah I'm sure. 786 01:06:17,524 --> 01:06:18,324 "Would you like to...?" 787 01:06:22,244 --> 01:06:23,324 Holy bugger! 788 01:06:24,284 --> 01:06:25,564 That is so not funny. 789 01:06:27,164 --> 01:06:28,805 Okay, everyone prepare to dive. 790 01:06:29,085 --> 01:06:31,005 This spycar is also a submarine. 791 01:06:46,246 --> 01:06:48,046 Get me the World Organization. 792 01:06:50,806 --> 01:06:51,886 What is it, Dr. Evil? 793 01:06:52,166 --> 01:06:56,966 Gentlemen. In a matter of hours a meteor will crash into Earth causing a global flood. 794 01:06:57,166 --> 01:06:59,526 That is of course unless you pay me. 795 01:07:01,286 --> 01:07:07,727 1 billion-gezillion-fefillion...- 796 01:07:08,367 --> 01:07:10,487 - million...yen. 797 01:07:10,647 --> 01:07:11,727 I think you're bluffing. 798 01:07:12,527 --> 01:07:15,887 Well perhaps you would like a demonstration? Number 2 the key, please. 799 01:07:37,328 --> 01:07:39,369 Sir, Dr. Evil is not bluffing. 800 01:07:39,649 --> 01:07:41,329 One of our satellites is falling out of orbit. 801 01:07:41,649 --> 01:07:42,249 Which one? 802 01:07:42,529 --> 01:07:43,849 It's the one that looks like a pair of... 803 01:07:43,889 --> 01:07:47,169 Melons! Big juicy melons! 804 01:07:47,609 --> 01:07:49,009 Are they nice and ferm? 805 01:07:49,689 --> 01:07:50,649 Well, what do you think? 806 01:07:51,369 --> 01:07:52,169 Look at that! 807 01:07:52,409 --> 01:07:53,889 It looks like a set of giant... 808 01:07:55,929 --> 01:07:58,290 Hey, A and N you're late. How're we doin.. 809 01:07:59,650 --> 01:08:04,170 Go Titans! Check it out. Those remind me of... 810 01:08:04,570 --> 01:08:05,370 Boobs! 811 01:08:06,050 --> 01:08:06,810 Boobs, Ozzy? 812 01:08:07,090 --> 01:08:09,810 These film makers is just *BEEP* boobs! 813 01:08:10,410 --> 01:08:11,410 What do you mean, dad? 814 01:08:11,570 --> 01:08:15,411 Well they use the same *BEEP* jokes, as they did in the last Austin Powers movie. 815 01:08:15,891 --> 01:08:17,211 What *BEEP* joke? 816 01:08:17,531 --> 01:08:20,851 You know the *BEEP* joke about the long smooth rocket that looks likes some guy's... 817 01:08:20,891 --> 01:08:21,411 Johnson! 818 01:08:22,291 --> 01:08:23,771 - Yes, sir? - Any sign of that satellite? 819 01:08:24,651 --> 01:08:26,051 No, sir. It's gone. 820 01:08:26,371 --> 01:08:29,091 Gentlemen, you have my demands, peace out! 821 01:09:03,093 --> 01:09:06,213 Cool, baby. You look very switched on. 822 01:09:06,933 --> 01:09:07,893 Thank you, Austin. 823 01:09:11,614 --> 01:09:14,574 No Mini-Me! Off! Bad! No humping! 824 01:09:17,214 --> 01:09:19,694 Dr. Evil. In light of success of the device. 825 01:09:19,974 --> 01:09:22,214 It is japanese custom that I recieve a bonus. 826 01:09:23,814 --> 01:09:24,774 A bonus? 827 01:09:25,414 --> 01:09:27,015 That's good. Yeah. 828 01:09:28,535 --> 01:09:29,935 Throw me a freakin' bonus here! 829 01:09:33,655 --> 01:09:36,175 I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl, thank you! 830 01:09:37,775 --> 01:09:39,695 Oh, you're nok joking. 831 01:09:40,295 --> 01:09:42,415 No! In fact if you don't give me the bonus... 832 01:09:42,455 --> 01:09:44,416 - Hey guys! - Hey Scotty, how are you, sport? 833 01:09:52,456 --> 01:09:54,176 - Why don't you let me take care of this? - Okay. 834 01:10:06,697 --> 01:10:07,737 That's the evil laugh. 835 01:10:10,897 --> 01:10:11,497 Scotty! 836 01:10:12,737 --> 01:10:13,777 Scotty! 837 01:10:15,457 --> 01:10:18,137 Scotty. Take it down a notch. 838 01:10:20,698 --> 01:10:21,618 It's creepin' a bit. 839 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:22,818 Let's go. 840 01:10:27,938 --> 01:10:28,978 We will need a disguise. 841 01:10:30,698 --> 01:10:32,018 There's only one uniform. 842 01:10:33,058 --> 01:10:35,058 One of us has to go, on the other one's shoulders. 843 01:10:48,419 --> 01:10:49,539 Hey there buddy how's it going? 844 01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:50,499 Good to see, ya. 845 01:10:51,339 --> 01:10:53,059 Yeah, yeah...hi! 846 01:10:58,180 --> 01:10:59,260 Hello. You alright? 847 01:10:59,580 --> 01:11:01,420 Yes it's a good hat. Very good hat. 848 01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:04,660 Come on Mini-Me, let's go. 849 01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:08,180 Hold it right there, mister. 850 01:11:11,220 --> 01:11:13,140 Did you really think that you could get away with this? 851 01:11:14,501 --> 01:11:16,021 I did actually, yes. 852 01:11:16,621 --> 01:11:18,621 Every new recruit must have a physical. 853 01:11:19,541 --> 01:11:20,661 Now get in here sailor. 854 01:11:21,421 --> 01:11:23,461 I'm going to need an urine sample. 855 01:11:25,981 --> 01:11:26,861 Okay. 856 01:11:34,142 --> 01:11:34,982 Okay, then. 857 01:11:51,703 --> 01:11:52,383 Hello. 858 01:11:59,063 --> 01:12:00,503 And here we go. 859 01:12:08,264 --> 01:12:09,224 - Terrific. - Yes. 860 01:12:11,064 --> 01:12:16,064 Alright sailor. Go behind that screen and strip down to your skippies. 861 01:12:16,824 --> 01:12:18,864 Alright then, I'll just go to that screen. 862 01:12:20,824 --> 01:12:22,464 Which is over there. 863 01:12:27,025 --> 01:12:28,185 Right behind that screen. 864 01:12:33,065 --> 01:12:34,785 Come on, hurry the map. 865 01:12:35,665 --> 01:12:36,585 Okay, what's on the map. 866 01:12:39,585 --> 01:12:41,465 I'm going to need an urine sample. 867 01:12:42,265 --> 01:12:43,746 Which way to the main chamber? 868 01:13:01,827 --> 01:13:04,347 Okay. So...sure. 869 01:13:16,147 --> 01:13:17,027 Excuse me, doctor? 870 01:13:17,467 --> 01:13:18,748 It's difficult in public, isn't it? 871 01:13:27,108 --> 01:13:29,468 Mini-Me, our shadows, we're casting a shadow. 872 01:13:29,628 --> 01:13:30,468 What's wrong, sailor? 873 01:13:31,548 --> 01:13:32,828 You should check that guy out! 874 01:13:39,469 --> 01:13:40,829 What the hell is going on here? 875 01:13:44,109 --> 01:13:44,629 Hands up. 876 01:13:47,349 --> 01:13:48,629 You heard me, I said hands up! 877 01:13:49,269 --> 01:13:50,189 Both of you! 878 01:14:02,470 --> 01:14:03,230 Come with me! 879 01:14:03,550 --> 01:14:04,590 Mini-Me, the map. Go! 880 01:14:07,670 --> 01:14:09,270 Okay, you got me. 881 01:14:20,711 --> 01:14:22,151 Are you alright, little man? 882 01:14:26,431 --> 01:14:27,071 Right on! 883 01:14:43,872 --> 01:14:45,112 Mr. Powers. 884 01:14:45,872 --> 01:14:50,353 Before I kill you. Perhaps you would like to see the genius of my plan. 885 01:14:52,833 --> 01:14:53,793 Key, please. 886 01:14:58,113 --> 01:15:00,913 What the? Who? But how? Where? 887 01:15:03,513 --> 01:15:04,313 Looking for this? 888 01:15:07,154 --> 01:15:07,954 Mini-Me? 889 01:15:08,274 --> 01:15:10,474 Alright, everybody, drop your guns. 890 01:15:10,634 --> 01:15:12,754 Because Foxxy Cleopatra is in the sub. 891 01:15:13,074 --> 01:15:15,594 Smashing, Foxxy! Yeah! 892 01:15:20,634 --> 01:15:21,794 Alright, Dr. Evil. 893 01:15:22,554 --> 01:15:24,195 It has finally come down to this. 894 01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:28,675 You, me and the gun. 895 01:15:31,515 --> 01:15:32,915 What are you going to do now, Austin? 896 01:15:35,595 --> 01:15:36,435 Dad? 897 01:15:37,315 --> 01:15:38,675 What are you doing here? 898 01:15:39,755 --> 01:15:42,116 I gotta finish this off once and for all. 899 01:15:44,276 --> 01:15:45,636 I'm afraid you can't do that. 900 01:15:47,076 --> 01:15:48,436 I have to protect my son. 901 01:15:48,956 --> 01:15:50,036 Dad, I'm fine. 902 01:15:50,996 --> 01:15:52,196 I'm not talking about you. 903 01:15:53,876 --> 01:15:55,916 I'm talking about...him. 904 01:15:59,757 --> 01:16:00,517 What? 905 01:16:01,597 --> 01:16:03,157 Dr. Evil is not your son. 906 01:16:03,277 --> 01:16:04,157 I am. 907 01:16:05,197 --> 01:16:10,077 You both are. 908 01:16:10,117 --> 01:16:11,037 What? 909 01:16:11,077 --> 01:16:13,477 It was our first...family holiday together. 910 01:16:14,717 --> 01:16:16,317 Just as I was finishing a case. 911 01:16:17,038 --> 01:16:18,838 Your mother brought the two of you to Belgium. 912 01:16:22,638 --> 01:16:23,758 I stopped to have a tinkle. 913 01:16:24,598 --> 01:16:25,278 When the car... 914 01:16:36,119 --> 01:16:40,039 But, my parents died in a car accident. 915 01:16:40,479 --> 01:16:42,119 It was no accident. 916 01:16:42,879 --> 01:16:44,439 Ět was an assasination attempt. 917 01:16:45,279 --> 01:16:46,919 I though only Austin survived. 918 01:16:47,719 --> 01:16:49,559 I should have told you the truth earlier. 919 01:16:49,879 --> 01:16:53,480 But those Belgians, they made you so damn...evil. 920 01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:58,480 Of course they share border with Dutch. 921 01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:02,480 Very interesting story, Mr. Powers. 922 01:17:03,440 --> 01:17:06,280 Of course, I'm gonna have to wait until I see all the facts. 923 01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:07,720 Daddy! 924 01:17:11,321 --> 01:17:12,041 Daddy is here, Ducky. 925 01:17:13,521 --> 01:17:15,241 Ducky, ducky? 926 01:17:15,401 --> 01:17:16,801 Ducky remember, Ducky...? 927 01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:18,201 Dad, what's going on? 928 01:17:22,121 --> 01:17:23,401 What are you going to do Austin? 929 01:17:36,842 --> 01:17:37,722 Austin! 930 01:17:38,482 --> 01:17:40,282 Are you sure you can trust, Dr. Evil? 931 01:17:41,682 --> 01:17:43,162 He ain't heavy. 932 01:17:44,682 --> 01:17:47,123 He's my brother, baby, yeah! 933 01:17:49,683 --> 01:17:51,603 I should have told you this so long ago, son. 934 01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:54,523 I'm very proud of you. 935 01:17:56,763 --> 01:17:57,563 Can you forgive me? 936 01:17:58,203 --> 01:17:59,123 I forgive you dad. 937 01:18:23,245 --> 01:18:25,765 I'm Ducky! I'm Ducky! 938 01:18:38,805 --> 01:18:40,726 Oh, come on! 939 01:18:41,446 --> 01:18:43,486 I mean first I'm not evil enough for you. 940 01:18:44,046 --> 01:18:45,686 And now you're gonna turn good? 941 01:18:46,366 --> 01:18:47,326 Listen, Scott. 942 01:18:47,966 --> 01:18:49,326 You can spend your whole life - 943 01:18:49,366 --> 01:18:52,406 - trying to win your parents acceptance. Believe me! 944 01:18:53,366 --> 01:18:56,366 But at the end of the day you just gotta do it for yourself, baby. 945 01:18:58,327 --> 01:18:59,127 Hey, Austin... 946 01:19:00,487 --> 01:19:01,207 What? 947 01:19:02,007 --> 01:19:02,767 I hate you. 948 01:19:03,967 --> 01:19:04,927 I hate you! 949 01:19:05,727 --> 01:19:06,607 I hate you! 950 01:19:07,647 --> 01:19:09,887 I don't even know you, but I hate you too. 951 01:19:10,567 --> 01:19:12,407 And I especially hate you! 952 01:19:15,128 --> 01:19:15,848 You'll pay. 953 01:19:16,928 --> 01:19:18,208 You'll all pay! 954 01:19:22,328 --> 01:19:25,648 I'd like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl. 955 01:19:26,528 --> 01:19:28,688 Not so fast, smarty pants! 956 01:19:29,568 --> 01:19:30,608 Dr. Evil! 957 01:19:31,208 --> 01:19:33,209 You might not want to destroy the world. 958 01:19:33,369 --> 01:19:35,329 But I do! 959 01:19:37,089 --> 01:19:39,729 Preparation H goes ahead as planned. 960 01:19:40,009 --> 01:19:41,689 I got to flood the Earth! 961 01:19:42,929 --> 01:19:44,049 Think again, Goldmember. 962 01:19:44,609 --> 01:19:46,489 Huh, Foxxy Cleopatra. 963 01:19:46,889 --> 01:19:48,809 It's a shame I had to kill your partner. 964 01:19:49,289 --> 01:19:52,690 - Too bad for you. - Too bad for me? 965 01:19:53,450 --> 01:19:55,010 How about too bad for you? 966 01:19:55,650 --> 01:19:56,570 Oh no! 967 01:20:03,250 --> 01:20:04,810 Luckily I keep a spare. 968 01:20:12,851 --> 01:20:15,931 Look everyone! My winky was a key! 969 01:20:16,371 --> 01:20:17,851 Oh dear, bloody Dutchman. 970 01:20:24,651 --> 01:20:25,811 Foxxy, I'm coming! 971 01:20:26,732 --> 01:20:30,132 Don't do anything stupid or the shooting begins. 972 01:20:30,172 --> 01:20:33,652 Austin, take Ducky I'll stay here and be your backup. 973 01:20:34,212 --> 01:20:35,292 Ducky, what do we do? 974 01:20:36,052 --> 01:20:38,692 I'm not really a "hands-on-evil-genius". 975 01:20:39,132 --> 01:20:41,052 Think you were always the smart one. 976 01:20:41,652 --> 01:20:45,493 I could re-write the output capacity to the tractorbeam - 977 01:20:45,533 --> 01:20:47,373 - from one of the conduit boxes up there. 978 01:20:47,973 --> 01:20:48,693 Come on, let's go. 979 01:20:55,053 --> 01:20:56,693 Yesh! The shooting begins. 980 01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:01,813 Let me shoot! 981 01:21:07,454 --> 01:21:10,574 You know, Dr. Evil. I used to think you were crazy. 982 01:21:11,014 --> 01:21:11,654 I know. 983 01:21:11,974 --> 01:21:14,574 But now I can see your nuts. I thank you. 984 01:21:32,375 --> 01:21:33,135 Hurry! 985 01:21:37,015 --> 01:21:39,656 Fassia, fassia, fassia, fassia, fassia. 986 01:21:39,696 --> 01:21:41,856 Fassia can you here me? 987 01:21:42,096 --> 01:21:43,256 Fassia, fassia... 988 01:21:53,656 --> 01:21:55,136 Well done, Austin! 989 01:21:55,577 --> 01:21:57,217 You saved the world again. 990 01:21:59,857 --> 01:22:00,457 Thank you. 991 01:22:02,697 --> 01:22:04,897 Austin, you did it. 992 01:22:04,977 --> 01:22:05,777 We did it! 993 01:22:06,057 --> 01:22:07,337 Yeah, baby! 994 01:22:10,097 --> 01:22:12,057 No? Just trying it on. 995 01:22:14,458 --> 01:22:17,378 Goldmember, you're under arrest, sugar. 996 01:22:20,698 --> 01:22:26,738 Hey assholes! Do I have time for a last smoke and a pancake or what? 997 01:22:31,219 --> 01:22:34,419 I'm from Holland! Isn't that wierd? 998 01:22:39,059 --> 01:22:40,859 Yes, well done! 999 01:23:06,140 --> 01:23:07,661 Hey Powers! 1000 01:23:10,581 --> 01:23:11,781 Fat Bastard? 1001 01:23:12,661 --> 01:23:14,021 But you are not fat anymore. 1002 01:23:14,501 --> 01:23:15,981 I'm on the subway diet. 1003 01:23:17,941 --> 01:23:19,861 I've lost a 180 pounds. 1004 01:23:20,301 --> 01:23:21,701 Congratulations, baby. 1005 01:23:21,861 --> 01:23:22,781 Thank you. 1006 01:23:22,821 --> 01:23:25,342 I do have a little bit of excess skin though. 1007 01:23:27,342 --> 01:23:30,262 But unfortunately my neck does look like a vagina. 1008 01:23:44,543 --> 01:23:45,103 Austin. 1009 01:23:46,463 --> 01:23:48,583 Thank you, for eveything. 1010 01:23:57,183 --> 01:23:58,303 Sha-zam! 1011 01:24:10,144 --> 01:24:12,024 I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. 1012 01:24:34,065 --> 01:24:37,626 MORE TO COME... 1013 01:24:43,666 --> 01:24:45,546 Well they are using the same *BEEP* joke - 1014 01:24:45,586 --> 01:24:49,226 - as they used in the last Austin Powers film...movie...oh I'm sorry. 1015 01:24:49,786 --> 01:24:51,106 Well they are using the...the...what... 1016 01:24:51,386 --> 01:24:53,106 Well they are using the same joke, as they... 1017 01:24:55,627 --> 01:24:56,227 W...what do you mean? 1018 01:24:57,947 --> 01:24:58,867 Boobs, Ozzy? 1019 01:24:59,547 --> 01:25:00,227 Stop... 1020 01:25:02,867 --> 01:25:05,187 Oh, don't start this Kelly, don't you worry about... 1021 01:25:08,387 --> 01:25:08,987 On the mark! 1022 01:25:09,027 --> 01:25:09,587 On the mark? 1023 01:25:10,467 --> 01:25:12,748 I don't like that noise I'm getting all turned on. 1024 01:25:13,508 --> 01:25:15,468 My testeron is going dancing... 1025 01:25:17,028 --> 01:25:17,868 Get off me! 1026 01:25:22,708 --> 01:25:24,548 Is...is it true what they say about you? 1027 01:25:28,628 --> 01:25:33,709 Kickstand? Really? Can I give you my cellphone number? 1028 01:25:34,989 --> 01:25:35,789 Please? 1029 01:25:38,429 --> 01:25:40,829 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach.