CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
- HEY, ZORAK.
GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA BE AT THE TALENT SHOW THIS YEAR.
- A LOSER. - EHH! WRONG!
I'M GONNA BE A POTATO AND SING MY AMAZING POTATO SONG.
- UGH. I CAN'T WAIT NOT TO HEAR IT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? AREN'T YOU GONNA BE THERE?
- OH. I'LL BE THERE. I'LL BE THERE.
[SCREAMING]
HOO HOO HAW HA! HOO HOO HAW HA!
HOO HA HA HA!
- HOT POTATO COMING THROUGH!
- BURN! BURN!
- SO THEN I GET A LETTER THAT SAYS,
"PLEASE STOP SENDING DEVILED EGGS TO THE BISHOP."
- MAYBE YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR RECIPE, DEAR.
- MY RECIPE IS PERFECT! THE BISHOP IS A FOOL.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'LL GET IT. WHO IS IT?
- IT IS I--CLONEBORG.
- MOTHER, DO WE KNOW A MR. I CLONEBORG?
- WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE.
[CRASH]
[WHIRRING]
- I HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOU.
[BEEPING]
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM, THUNDERCLESE.
- WHOA! WHOA! HOLD ON THERE, STEELY DAN.
I AM HAPPY TO REPORT, I AM NOT THUNDERCLESE.
- HE LIVES DOWN THE STREET IN THE BIG BLACK FORTRESS.
[BEEPING]
- OUT THE DOOR AND TO THE LEFT. YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
- EXCEPT FOR THAT YOU ALREADY DID.
- PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM, THUNDERCLESE.
- WELL, HE SEEMED NICE ENOUGH.
- OH. DOES SOMEONE HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND?
- NOW, HONEY, ALL I SAID WAS--
- I MAY NOT HAVE 17-INCH CLAWS, BUT WHEN I GRIP YOU,
YOU'LL KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN GRIPPED!
- GOOD MORNING, MOM. GOOD MORNING, DAAH!
- HA HA HA! YOU FELL.
- OH, NOW LOOK. THAT CLONEBORG LEFT
A PUDDLE OF OIL ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR.
- CLONEBORG? DID HE KILL ANYBODY?
- NO. HE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS,
SO WE SENT HIM OVER TO THUNDERCLESE'S.
- SMACKDOWN! OH, YEAH!
[DOOR SHUTS]
[LASERS FIRE]
[EXPLOSION]
AAH!
OHH.
- ZORAK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH. I THINK I--
- OH. WAIT A MINUTE. I'LL GO GET MY JAR.
- AGAIN WITH THE JAR. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BUILDING A MONSTER?
OH. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU ARE.
HOW'S THAT COMING FOR YOU?
- VERY NICELY, THANK YOU.
- FINALLY. ECH. I WAS DYING OUT THERE.
HEY, SWEETCHEEKS, GET ME A BEER, WILL YOU?
- I HAVE SOME ROOT BEER.
- DID I SAY ROOT BEER?
- HEY, ZORAK. HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU.
- YEAH. I WAS JUST NOTICING THAT.
- AND YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MAN VOICE.
- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
- LET ME EXPLAIN, KID.
THE NAME'S CARMINE. THAT'S RIGHT--CARMINE.
I'VE BEEN LIVING IN YOUR THROAT FOR YEARS.
WHEN YOU TOOK THAT SHOT TO THE NECK JUST NOW,
IT SHOOK ME LOOSE.
- WELL, THIS SUCKS. PASS THAT JAR OVER.
I'M GONNA SWALLOW THAT LUMP TO GET MY VOICE BACK.
- THAT WOULD BE A BIG MISTAKE, JACK.
I CAN MAKE YOU RICH, AND I MEAN STUPID RICH.
- I'M LISTENING.
THAT NEW VOICE OF YOURS IS A GOLD MINE.
THAT'S RIGHT, A MINE FULL OF GOLD.
GO ON. TRY IT OUT. WHY DON'T YOU SING A FEW BARS?
- WHY DON'T YOU BITE ME?
- LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY.
WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SINGER?
- NOTORIOUS FLUFFY G.
- THAT'S RIGHT, HE IS, BUT WHEN I MET HIM,
HE WAS A HAIRBALL LIVING IN A FAT MAN'S POCKET.
- WOW.
- THEN I TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING I KNOW,
AND TODAY, HE AND HIS MULTIMILLIONS
LIVE IN THE BIGGEST MANSION IN MANSIONLAND.
- AND YOU DID ALL THIS LIVING IN ZORAK'S THROAT?
- BUTT OUT, GRAMPS. I'M TALKING ABOUT MANSIONLAND!
- MANSIONLAND. HMM.
- GO AHEAD AND SING SOMETHING, ZORAK.
- OF COURSE, IT WON'T BE AS GOOD AS ME,
BUT THEN, WHO IS?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SING.
- JUST SING WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART, DEAR.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU ASKED FOR IT.
♪ MY HEART IS FULL OF HATRED AND LOATHING ♪
♪ FOR YOUR UGLY FACES AND STUPID, STUPID CLOTHING ♪
- OH, ZORAK, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
- IF MY EARS COULD TALK, THEY WOULD SAY,
"THANK YOU, ZORAK. YOU HAVE ENRICHED US BOTH."
- I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO GREAT.
- I MEAN, WHERE WERE THE COSTUMES?
WHERE WERE THE FLASH POTS? WHERE WAS THE DRY ICE FOG?
- WHOA! DO I SMELL THE STINK OF JEALOUSY?
[FART]
- ZORAK, WHY DON'T YOU SING THAT SONG
TONIGHT AT THE TALENT SHOW?
YOU'D BE CERTAIN TO WIN FIRST PRIZE.
- DON'T YOU MEAN SECOND PRIZE, MOM?
- OF COURSE, DEAR.
YOU'RE GOING TO WIN.
- THE BROAD'S RIGHT, KID.
COME ON. LET'S GO WORK UP A NUMBER.
- YEAH, ZORAK. YOU GO OFF WITH YOUR NEW FRIEND CARMINE,
BUT I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT AT THE TALENT SHOW,
AND WHEN I SAY SEE YOU, I MEAN SEE YOU, BUDDY,
BECAUSE POTATOES HAVE QUITE A NUMBER OF EYES!
NYAH, NYAH, NYAH, NYAH, NYAH!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WELL, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
- IT IS I--CLONEBORG TWO.
I HAVE COME TO AVENGE THE DEATH OF--
[BEEPING]
CLONEBORG.
- AY CON FLAUTAS. NOT AGAIN.
- ♪ OH, I'M A JOLLY SPUD, AND PEOPLE CALL ME BUD ♪
♪ I LIVE DOWN IN THE MUD
♪ WITH ALL THE OTHER TUBERS
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
TOP THAT, GENTLEMEN.
- ALL RIGHT, KID.
GET OUT THERE AND WASH THE STINK OUT OF THEIR HEADS.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
- ♪ I WANT TO KICK YOUR ASS UNTIL YOUR HEAD FALLS OFF ♪
♪ THEN I'LL KICK YOUR HEAD AND KICK YOUR ASS AGAIN ♪
♪ WHY? I DON'T THINK IT'S LEARNED ITS LESSON ♪
♪ OPEN THE DOOR, SUCKER
♪ IT'S ZORAK HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS ♪
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
YOU'RE AN UGLY AUDIENCE, AND I HATE YOU ALL.
- AND THE WINNER IS ZORAK!
- I'M NOT KIDDING. YOU MAKE ME SICK.
- SAVE SOME FOR LATER, KID. MONEY!
- YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
MY POTATO SONG HAS WON THIS CONTEST EVERY YEAR.
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
- LOOK, ZORAK. HE'S GONNA CRY.
- YEAH. WHY DOESN'T HE GO CRY TO HIS MOMMY?
- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I INTEND TO DO
RIGHT AFTER I TELL YOU THAT WE'RE OFFICIALLY...
[GASPS]
BROKEN UP!
- WELL, BABY, THE SWEETBREAD'S IN THE OVEN,
AND THE SUN'S COMING UP ON THE CABBAGE FARM.
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- UH, NEVER MIND. LET'S GO.
I GOT YOU BOOKED SOLID FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!
- WHAT A NIGHT!
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
- MONEY!
- I'M RICH!
- HEY. I GOT ANOTHER ROUTINE TO TRY ON YOU GUYS, OK?
- BRAK, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR WEEKS.
[EXPLOSION]
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
- NOW, FATHER. GO AHEAD, BRAK. SING US YOUR LITTLE SONG.
- ♪ I'M HOT FOR YOU, BABY, I'M A BIG OLD BEET ♪
♪ I'M RED BUT NOT EMBARRASSED, AND I AM GOOD WITH MEAT ♪
♪ OF COURSE, I MAKE AN EXCELLENT BORSCHT ♪
♪ AND I'M HOT FOR YOU, BABY
- WELL, YOU'RE NO ZORAK.
- AW, MAN. I GIVE UP.
- HONEY, MAYBE PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT THEIR VEGETABLES TO SING.
- OR MAYBE WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS JUST NO GOOD.
- YOU KEEP AT IT, BRAKLEY.
I KNOW YOU'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING WONDERFUL.
- YOU KNOW IT, BABY!
- I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO STOP ENCOURAGING HIM.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
MOTHER, DID YOU PUT THE SIGN UP LIKE I TOLD YOU?
- OH, DEAR. I FORGOT.
[BEEPING]
- I AM CLONEBORG 167.
[BEEPING]
I HAVE COME TO--
- THAT'S NICE. DOWN THE STREET ON THE LEFT.
- ♪ LIKE I SAID, I HATE YOU JERKS ♪
♪ WHAT A BUNCH OF STUPID JERKS
♪ I'LL SMACK YOU UP AND STOMP YOU DOWN ♪
♪ STOMP YOU BACK TO UGLYTOWN
♪ OR MAYBE I'LL KICK YOUR FAT ASS ♪
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S ALL YOU GET, MORONS. NOW GO TO HELL.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE]
- HEY, NO, NO, NO!
- I JUST DON'T GET IT.
- WHAT'S UP YOUR SHOOT?
- I TELL THEM HOW MUCH I HATE THEM,
AND THEY LOVE ME FOR IT.
- EH, SO WHAT IF YOU'RE MAKING THE POOR SLOBS HAPPY?
- I HATE IT, THAT'S WHAT.
I LIKED IT A LOT BETTER WHEN I WAS MAKING THEM MISERABLE.
- YEAH, BUT THE MONEY'S GOOD, RIGHT?
- WHAT MONEY? YOU HAVEN'T PAID ME YET.
- THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE BROKE, HONEY BABY,
AND I AIN'T COOKING THE BOOKS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
- WHAT HAPPENED? WE MUST HAVE MADE A FORTUNE.
- YEAH, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE TAXES.
THEN THE MARKET TANKED, AND THE EX-WIFE CAME CLIMBING UP MY POLE AGAIN.
BUT DON'T WORRY, BIG DADDY. WE'LL MAKE MORE MONEY.
- NO, WE WON'T, BECAUSE I QUIT.
NOW GIVE ME MY VOICE BACK.
- HA! SORRY, JUNIOR,
BUT I'VE HAD A TASTE OF THE GOOD LIFE,
AND THERE AIN'T NO WAY I'M GOING BACK TO CLOWNTOWN.
SO LONG, SUCKER. HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
- UH, WHERE'S MY LUNCH?
- OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE--
MR. WINS THE TALENT SHOW, DESERTS HIS BEST FRIEND TO BE A FAMOUS SINGER
ONLY TO FIND THAT HE'S UNHAPPY MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY...
[INHALES]
AND NOT GETTING PAID, SO HE QUITS THE MUSIC BUSINESS
AND COMES BACK BEGGING FOR MY FORGIVENESS,
WHICH I WILL HAPPILY GIVE.
I LOVE YOU, ZORAK!
- STAY AWAY FROM ME.
- OK. THAT'S SETTLED.
NOW WE NEED TO GET YOUR VOICE BACK.
WHERE'S CARMINE?
- DAMNED IF I KNOW.
- ACCORDING TO THIS, HE HAS USED ZORAK'S MONEY TO PURCHASE
THE MOST SPLENDID MANSION IN MANSIONLAND.
- HE SAID WE WERE BROKE.
- NO. IT SAYS HERE THAT WAS A LIE.
- COME ON, BUDDY. WE'RE HEADING FOR MANSIONLAND.
IT'S TIME TO PUT A LUMP IN YOUR THROAT.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- THUNDERCLESE DOES NOT LIVE HERE!
- I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES. I'D RATHER NOT GO DOWN THERE.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE.
- AH. LET ME GET YOU A DEVILED EGG.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- YEAH. WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR, CHIEF?
- GREETINGS. I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN TOLD
THAT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MAN VOICE.
I AM CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE
WHO CAN MAKE ME A SUCCESSFUL SINGER ON THE STAGE.
- WELL, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
THAT VOICE OF YOURS IS MONEY IN THE BANK.
THAT'S RIGHT, A BANK FULL OF MONEY.
- I CERTAINLY HOPE I WON'T HAVE TO SHAVE OFF
MY HANDSOME MUSTACHE AND DERBY HAT.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? DON'T TOUCH IT. COME ON IN.
- GET HIM, ZORAK! - DON'T TOUCH THE LID!
- OHH! THAT'S IT! WATCH OUT! GET HIM!
OHH! GRAB HIM!
- AAH!
[GULP]
- WELCOME HOME, JACKASS.
- ZORAK, YOU GOT YOUR VOICE BACK.
WE DID IT!
BOY, I'M SURE HAPPY THAT WE'RE FRIENDS AGAIN.
- GET LOST!
- OHH! GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK, BUDDY!
MY NOSE IS BLEEDING.
- ♪ YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FOOL STEPPING UP ON ME ♪
♪ BECAUSE I'M THE ONE AND ONLY NOTORIOUS FLUFFY G ♪
♪ AND WHEN I SEE YOUR GIRLIE WALKING DOWN THE STREET ♪
- ♪ HOW YOU GET SO FLUFFY?
- ♪ WHAT SHE SAYS TO ME
- ♪ HOW YOU GET SO FLUFFY?
- ♪ OH, YEAH
- ♪ HOW YOU GET SO FLUFFY?
- ♪ HA HA! HA HA!
- ♪ HOW YOU GET SO FLUFFY?
- ♪ LOOK HOW FLUFF I BE
- ♪ HOW YOU GET SO FLUFFY?
- ♪ STRAIGHT UP FLUFFY, SEE