CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
IT'S ON! IT'S ON. OH, TOO LATE! GOT TO MAKE IT!
OH, MY FEET, WALKING SO FAST. WHAT DO YOU SAY, FEET?
"I SAY WE GO, BRAK." I SAY OK, FEET.
OK, LET'S GO. - HALT!
WHAT IS YOUR HURRY, NEIGHBORHOOD BRAT?
ARE YOU FLEEING A RAZOR-TOED SPINE MASHER?
- NO, SIR, MR. THUNDERCLEESE, BUT I'VE GOT TO GO, GO, GO,
OR I'M GOING TO MISS THE BEST SHOW EVER
OF ANY SHOW TO BE SHOWN ON THE SHOW SHOWER.
- TELEVISION IS FOR THE WEAK. A WARRIOR'S MIND MUST BE SHARP.
HA! HUH! HA! - RIGHT.
SAY, WHAT--WHAT TIME YOU GOT THERE, PARTNER?
- TIME IS AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT CREATED
BY CARBON-BASED LIFEFORMS TO MONITOR THEIR ONGOING DECAY.
A WARRIOR--
- SORRY, MR. THUNDERCLEESE, BUT I'VE GOT TO GO
OR I'LL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
SO LONG, "T," BABY.
- HI THERE, MY NAME'S MIKE. I'M A RAZOR-TOED SPINE MASHER.
WANT TO BE PALS? - NEGATIVE.
- AARGH!
- WELL, HELLO, BRAK, HOW WAS YOUR--
- MOMMY! NO TALK. DADDY--TV NOW!
- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
- OH, HELLO, ZORAK. BRAK'S IN THE, UH--
- I AM VERY ATTRACTED TO YOU.
- I CAN HURT YOU.
- OH, WAKACHIKA WOW!
- AM I LATE? - NO, MY BOY, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
- ♪ HIS NAME IS SENOR SCIENCE, SCIENCE IS HIS NAME ♪
♪ SO NOW GREAT SENOR SCIENCE WOULD ALSO HAVE TO BE ALSO HIS NAME ♪
- HOLA, CHICOS Y CHICAS.
- BRING ON THE WOMAN!
- LET'S SAY HOLA TO THE FABULOUS CHIQUITA!
[APPLAUSE]
- COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COOCHIE, AH!
- AAH, YES.
- LET'S WATCH AS CHIQUITA DEMONSTRATES BUOYANCY.
- COOCHIE, COOCHIE, COOCHIE, AH!
- WOW, HOW DID SHE DO THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT KEEP IT COMING.
- THANK YOU, CHIQUITA.
AND NOW, MY FRIENDS,
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT MY LATEST EXPERIMENT
HAS LEFT ME FROZEN IN THIS BLOCK OF FROZEN ICE.
- OH! NO! - OH, BOO HOO. SHOW THE WOMAN.
- I CAN'T VERY WELL DO A SHOW WHEN I'M 90% FROZEN,
BUT YOU CAN USE SCIENCE TO SAVE ME.
LISTEN TO FIND OUT HOW.
- SAVE SENOR SCIENCE BY PURCHASING THE SENOR SCIENCE
SCIENTIFIC MELTING KIT, AVAILABLE NOW FOR ONLY $19.99.
THAT'S NOT MUCH, IS IT? I DON'T THINK SO.
ORDER NOW OR SAY GOODBYE TO THE SENOR AND CHIQUITA. AY!
- SO COLD. SO VERY COLD.
- ♪ HIS NAME IS SENOR SCIENCE AND HE WILL SURELY DIE ♪
♪ UNLESS YOU RUN RIGHT TO YOUR PHONE ♪
♪ AND SENOR SCIENCE MELTING KIT YOU BUY ♪
- DAD, I NEED $20!
- YES, AND I NEED A PREHENSILE TAIL
SO I CAN GRAB ONTO THINGS LIKE A MONKEY.
- SO CAN I HAVE THE MONEY?
- BRAK, I HAVEN'T HAD $20 FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I DO HAVE.
- A HAT MADE OUT OF LEMONS?
- NO. - A WATERMELON BOAT?
- NO. I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU PUT ON A SHOW AND CHARGE ADMISSION?
- WHAT KIND OF SHOW?
- I WOULD SAY SOMETHING WITH MUSIC AND COMEDY.
- AND MURDER. - NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
- WE COULD MAKE COSTUMES AND BUILD SETS.
- AND USE REAL BLOOD. - SKY'S THE LIMIT.
- HEH HEH HEH!
- DAD, WILL YOU BE IN MY SHOW? - SURE, I WILL.
BUT I WANT MY OWN TRAILER STACKED TO THE HILT WITH EXOTIC CREAMS AND LOTIONS.
- DEAL.
- SAY, FELLAS, CAN I BE IN YOUR SHOW?
- YOU BET, MAMA JAMA. - HOT DAMN.
- IT'LL BE A SHOW FOR EVERYONE WHO LOVES MUSIC.
- AND MURDER. HA HA HA!
- COME ALONG, OLD CHAPS. WE GOT US A SHOW TO DO.
- WELL, TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT.
REMEMBER, PEOPLE, THE FUTURE OF SENOR SCIENCE IS AT STAKE.
- AND DON'T FORGET CHIQUITA. GRRR.
[HOWLING]
- OH, GIVE IT A REST.
- SO LET'S GIVE IT ALL WE GOT.
AND WHEN WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE,
WE'LL TAKE OUT A SECOND MORTGAGE AND GIVE THAT, TOO.
AND WHEN THAT'S GONE, WE'LL GO FROM DOOR TO DOOR
SELLING THE LATEST CANDIES,
SOME OF WHICH WE'LL EAT OURSELVES, OF COURSE.
- WILL THERE BE TAFFY? - HOW DO I KNOW?!
- I LIKE TAFFY. SUE ME, WHY DON'T YOU?
- OH! NO! THAT'S MY CUE! I'M ON!
[PIANO PLAYING]
MAN, OH, MAN, IT'S GREAT TO BE A COWBOY.
MAKES THE COWBOY WANT TO SING THE FOLLOWING ASSORTMENT OF WORDS...
♪ OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, MY GOODNESS ♪
♪ WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING IT IS ♪
♪ WITH THE PRAIRIE HEAT ON MY COWBOY FEET ♪
♪ HAVE I MENTIONED I'M A COW...BOY? ♪
OY!
[APPLAUSE]
OH, LOOK. WHO'S THAT I SEE WITH MY COWBOY EYES
IN THAT BUILDING WAY OVER YONDER?
- ADMIRAL RUTHERFORD B. MARBLES,
OWNER OF MARBLES MARBLES, INCORPORATED.
♪ WHEN YOU NEED MARBLES...
[PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT]
♪ TRUST MARBLES
[APPLAUSE]
SISTER CHRISTIAN.
COME TO ME AND WE WILL SPEAK TOGETHER.
- HERE I AM. AT YOUR SERVICE, ADMIRAL.
- MS. CHRISTIAN, THIS IS A SACK OF $10,000 MONEY.
PLEASE GO PUT IT IN THE BANK WITHOUT STEALING IT, MY DARLING.
- I WILL DO THAT AND YOU CAN BE SURE.
♪ EVEN THOUGH THE MONEY MAY BE NICE ♪
♪ IT BELONGS TO ADMIRAL MARBLES ♪
♪ BUT I'D LIKE TO BUY SOME VERY FANCY THINGS ♪
♪ SO MAYBE I'LL STEAL IT AFTER ALL ♪
[APPLAUSE]
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
♪ SOMEBODY'S GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE ♪
♪ WATCH WITH ME, WON'T YOU, AS THE PLOT THICKENS? ♪
- $10,000 MONEY.
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE STOLEN IT, BUT I DID AND NOW IT'S MINE.
HA HA HA. OH, LOOK! A MOTEL.
- WELCOME TO THE PAINFUL ACRES MOTEL,
WHERE OUR MOTTO IS, "WATCH YOUR FRIGGING BACK."
- ♪ DANGER, DANGER, WATCH YOUR FRIGGING BACK ♪
- CAN I HELP YOU...
TO DIE?
HA HA HA HA!
- I NEED A ROOM FOR THE EVENING.
- I'LL PUT YOU IN NUMBER ONE BECAUSE "ONE" STANDS FOR MURDER.
- OH, GREAT.
I HAPPEN TO HAVE $10,000 MONEY IN MY CAR.
I'LL GO GET IT PRESENTLY.
- YEAH, YOU DO THAT. HA HA HA HA.
♪ YEAH...
♪ GUESTS WHO STAY AT THE PAINFUL ACRES ♪
♪ WON'T STAY LONG SO I RENT BY THE HOUR ♪
♪ THEY'LL KNOW WHY WHEN THEY TRY TO TAKE A SHOWER ♪
♪ WITH THE SPIGOT ON HOT
♪ SEE MY SILHOUETTE THROUGH THE CURTAIN ♪
♪ WHY I'M WEARING A DRESS IS UNCERTAIN ♪
♪ WHEN I STEAL YOUR DOUGH, YOU'LL BE HURTING ♪
♪ FROM THE STABBING IN THE SHOWER ♪
♪ WITH THE SPIGOT ON HOT...
[APPLAUSE]
- YOU'RE NOT STABBING ANYONE, PERPETRATOR.
NOT IF THE MIGHTY THUNDERCLEESE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.
- YOU'RE NOT THUNDERCLEESE, THUNDERCLEESE.
YOU'RE SHERIFF BUCK SAGEBRUSH.
- BUT MY NAME IS THUNDERCLEESE.
UH-YAH!
- HO!
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HIM DO IT HIS WAY, DEAR.
- ♪ I'M THE LAW, I'M THE LAW, I'M THE LAW ♪
♪ I'M THE LAW, I'M THE LAW, I'M THE LAW...LAW ♪
[APPLAUSE]
- THAT'S NOT HOW I WROTE IT!
BUT I LIKE IT.
- I KNOW WHAT THIS PLAY NEEDS:
A LITTLE MORE DADDY.
YOU JUST WAIT. I'VE GOT SOME PLANS HERE.
- YOU ARE UNDER ARREST
FOR CONSPIRING TO TERMINATE SISTER CHRISTIAN.
- CRAM IT, JERKWATER.
- THAT IS NOT YOUR LINE. ONLY THUNDERCLEESE IMPROVISES.
- LOOK! THE SPACEMAN HAVE ARRIVED.
- DAD, YOU'RE NOT IN THIS PART.
- SHALL I DESTROY HIM?
- HEAVENS, NO, HE'S MY HUSBAND.
- I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE. I AM THE SPACEMAN!
OHHH...WHERE IS YOUR LEADERS?
I COME IN PEACE.
- DAD!
- BRAK, LET YOUR FATHER BE THE SPACEMAN.
- ALL RIGHT, FINE. HE ACTUALLY MAKES A GOOD SPACEMAN.
OH! IT'S THE FINALE!
♪ OH...OH, MY GOODNESS, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL EVENING IT IS ♪
♪ OUR PLAY'S A SMASH, HOPE YOU PAID IN CASH ♪
♪ SO WE CAN SAVE SENOR SCIENCE... ♪
SCIENCE!
[APPLAUSE]
- LISTEN TO THAT APPLAUSE. THEY LOVE THE SPACEMAN.
- HOW, UH, HOW WAS I? WAS I ALL RIGHT?
- YOU WERE A SERENDIPITOUS TREAT, MY FRIEND.
DELICIOUS.
- I WAS NERVOUS AT FIRST, BUT THEN I STARTED FEELING IT.
INSTINCT TOOK OVER, JUST LIKE IN BATTLE!
HOO-HA!
- PHEW, DOGGIES, I LEFT IT ALL OUT THERE ON THE STAGE.
I'M POOPED.
- SPEAKING OF DOGGIES, MOM, WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO SING?
- I'VE BLOWN SWEETER NOTES FROM MY ASSOPHONE, HA!
[MOM GASPS]
SHAKA ZULU! WOW!
- ♪ BOOM-BA-BA-BOOM-BA--
OH! LOOK AT THE TIME! I NEED TO SEND AWAY
FOR THE SENOR SCIENCE SCIENTIFIC MELTING KIT TOUT SUITE!
- HELLO, AGAIN, CHILDREN.
I'VE HAD QUITE A WEEK SINCE OUR LAST SHOW.
AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M NO LONGER FROZEN IN A BLOCK OF FROZEN ICE,
SO YOU WON'T BE NEEDING YOUR SENOR SCIENCE SCIENTIFIC MELTING KITS.
- WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS BULLCRAP?
- AND NOW, A WORD ABOUT THIS WEEK'S EXPERIMENT.
IT SEEMS THAT LIVE WOLVES DO NOT MAKE COMFORTABLE FOOTWEAR.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY'RE EATING THEIR WAY
UP MY LEG AS I SPEAK TO YOU NOW.
OH! AY! WON'T YOU PLEASE--OH!--HELP ME?
OH! LISTEN TO FIND OUT HOW.
- SAVE WHAT'S LEFT OF SENOR SCIENCE BY PURCHASING
THE SENOR SCIENCE SCIENTIFIC CARNIVORE
FOOTWEAR REVERSAL DEVICE-- ONLY $24.99.
YOUR PARENTS WILL PAY FOR IT. THEY'VE GOT THE CHEESE.
CALL NOW.
- AW, MAN. I GUESS WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO ANOTHER PLAY.
- HIYA, HIYA, HIYA. DID SOMEONE SAY "PLAY"?
YOU KNOW, I DID SUMMER STOCK IN THE REDYULAR QUADRANT.
♪ HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO ♪
♪ PUT ME IN THE SHOW, IN THE SHOW, IN THE SHOW ♪
♪ WHAT YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU KNOW ♪
♪ HOW YOU LIKE, HOW YOU LIKE MY RAZOR TOE ♪
♪ RAZOR TOE, RAZOR TOE, HO WO WO, WHOO! ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--