CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
HOW YOU DOING THERE, STINKY MONKEY?
[MAKING MONKEY SOUNDS]
[LAUGHS]
- CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE
HOW HUMILIATING THIS IS FOR ME?
- HOW ABOUT THAT? A TALKING MONKEY.
THROW HIM A BANANA. MAYBE HE'LL DANCE FOR US.
- OOH! - DANCE, MONKEY!
- I'M AN APE, YOU IMPUDENT HUMANOID.
- I SAID DANCE! - OOH!
[GROWLS]
- LET'S GO, BRAK.
THIS PARTICULAR ATTRACTION BORES ME. - WAIT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT WILL EXCITE YOU?
- THEY HAVE THAT KIND OF STUFF HERE?
- OH, YES.
GO INTO THAT BUILDING OVER THERE.
- IT SAYS, "DO NOT ENTER."
- BUT IT DOESN'T SAY THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTER, DOES IT?
- GOOD POINT, CORNELIUS.
WHY WOULD ANYONE TRY TO STOP ME
FROM ENJOYING WHATEVER'S IN THAT BUILDING?
- THINGS THAT WILL EXCITE YOU. - EXACTLY.
WE MUST GO RIGHT NOW, BRAK.
I HAVE GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THAT FORBIDDEN BUILDING.
THIS DOES NOT EXCITE ME.
THIS IS NOTHING BUT A PACK OF GLOWING, MUTANT ANIMAL FREAKS.
- YUCK. IT SMELLS LIKE EUROPE IN HERE.
[RUMBLING]
[ROARS]
[SPLAT]
- I THINK THESE ANIMALS ARE SICK.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHO'S SICK. ME, OF LYING TALKING MONKEYS.
I'M GOING TO SUE THAT PUNK. - [GROWLING]
- DID YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?
THAT CAMEL'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING.
- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.
A LONG DRAG OFF A SWEET CIGARILLO,
BLENDED WITH THE FINEST OF RICH TURKISH TURKWEED.
[INHALES]
AHH.
HERE YOU GO. HAVE A TOKE ON ME, YOU STUPID BEAST.
AAH! [STAMMERING]
I'M FALLING!
[CRASH]
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, DAD?
- OH, YEAH. I'M GREAT.
I THINK I'M GOING TO LIVE HERE NOW,
'CAUSE IT'S SO DARK AND COLD AND--
OH, MY GOD, I'M BEING BITTEN BY BATS!
AAH! B-B-BY GLOWING BATS!
AND THAT'S WHY FATHER-SON OUTINGS ARE BULLCRAP!
- AW, MAN. - [SIGH]
I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE GONE TO THE COCKFIGHTS.
- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH THAT.
- ROOSTERS, IS WHAT.
BRAVE ROOSTERS, LIVING ON THE EDGE,
FACING DEATH AND MAKING US MONEY.
- DID YOU TELL THE DOCTOR
THAT THE ANIMALS THAT BIT YOU WERE GLOWING?
- WHAT DOCTOR? BRAK DID THIS.
I AIN'T GOING TO NO DOCTOR.
BUNCH OF FAT-BRAINED VOODOO JIVE CATS,
CLUBBING THEIR GOLF BALLS AROUND,
DRUNK ON ALCOHOL.
DOCTORS? HEH. [SPITS]
- HONEY, IF THOSE ANIMALS WERE RADIOACTIVE,
YOU MIGHT BE SERIOUSLY ILL.
- I'M FINE, BABY.
[SHIVERS]
ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE REST.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
- MOTHER, I THINK WE NEED A NEW MATTRESS.
[ROARS] MY HUMP WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE LAST NIGHT.
- YEAH, IT'S A PAIN WHEN THEY'RE HUMPING--
OH, SWEET DR. WOCKNOBBLE!
DAD, YOU GOT A HUMP ON YOUR BACK!
- YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN A DOCTOR.
MAYBE THEY COULD'VE STOPPED THIS.
- STOPPED WHAT? MY TRANSFORMATION?
NO WAY, YOKO. I LIKE THE NEW ME.
DID I GIVE YOU A HARD TIME
WHEN YOU GOT ALL FAT AND HAD THAT STUPID BABY?
[ROARS]
AHEM. NOW, COULD I HAVE SOME WATER?
I'M FRIGGIN' PARCHED OVER HERE.
- FINE, I'LL GET YOU A GLASS.
- NO, NO. A GLASS WON'T DO IT FOR DADDY ANYMORE.
I'M GOING TO NEED THE HOSE.
YOU SEE, MY HUMP IS CAPABLE OF STORING
3 MONTHS' SUPPLY OF WATER.
HUH!
- DAD, YOU CAN FLY!
- WELL, NOT EXACTLY,
BUT I CAN HANG UPSIDE DOWN INDEFINITELY.
OH, AND I CAN SEE THINGS IN THE DARK,
ESPECIALLY BUGS, WHICH I NOW EAT.
- WATER STORAGE, NIGHT VISION.
DAD, YOU'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH AMAZING NEW POWERS!
- YEAH, SO?
- SO YOU CAN DO GREAT THINGS.
I'M TALKING ABOUT CHANGE, BABY.
MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR EVERYBODY.
- WHAT WOULD THAT INVOLVE?
- WELL, IT'D BE A LOT OF WORK, BUT--
- DO I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?
- YEAH, BUT-- - PASADENA.
- BUT, DAD-- - I PUT MY HUMP ON THE LINE FOR NO STRANGERS,
ESPECIALLY IF I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.
HUH. UH-UH. NOT INTERESTED.
- SAY, FRIENDS, DO YOU HAVE A DEHUMIDIFIER I CAN BORROW?
- AH, SPACE GHOST. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, I LIVE HERE. - WHAT?
- YEAH, I'VE BEEN LIVING IN YOUR BASEMENT FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS.
IT'S QUITE MOIST, THUS MY NEED FOR DEHUMIDIFICATION.
- I WANT YOU OUT OF THAT BASEMENT IMMEDIATELY.
- HMM. I WAS AFRAID YOU'D SAY THAT.
IT WAS A RISK COMING UP HERE,
BUT I TOOK IT BECAUSE I'M A SUPERHERO.
SPACE GHOST IS THE NAME.
- HEY, GEORGE, DID YOU KNOW THAT MY DAD HAD SUPERPOWERS NOW?
- YES, I DO, MY CHILD.
I HEARD ALL ABOUT IT,
THROUGH THE AIR DUCTS.
YOU CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THROUGH THERE.
- I WAS JUST TELLING HIM THAT HE SHOULD USE HIS AMAZING GIFTS
TO HELP EVERYBODY.
- YEAH, WHATEVER. SPACE GHOST,
HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?
- SIR, THAT IS A RUDE QUESTION.
BUT I LIKE IT!
BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS, A LOT.
A SUPER LOT.
- THEN WHY ARE YOU LIVING IN OUR BASEMENT?
- UH, BECAUSE I'M VERY BAD WITH MONEY.
I RECENTLY PURCHASED A REMOTE DESERT THEME PARK
I NAMED "KINGDOM OF MUSCLES."
MY EMPLOYEES ARE ALL STEROID-GOBBLING EX-CONVICTS.
- WOW, THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!
- 'ROID RAGE IS NOT AWESOME, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S TERRIFYING.
THAT'S WHY I'M HIDING IN YOUR BASEMENT.
- [WHISPERING] They're after me.
- YOU NEED TO LEAVE.
- OF COURSE I DO, MILADY.
AMERICA NEEDS ME.
GOOD DAY, ALL, AND PEACE BE WITH YOU.
- [ROAR]
UHH. MOTHER, I'M A LITTLE TIGHT BACK HERE.
HOW ABOUT GIVING THE OLD HUMP A SQUEEZE?
- SQUEEZE IT YOURSELF. I'M GOING TO CLEAN OUT THE BASEMENT.
- HEY, SEE IF HE LEFT ANY FLIES DOWN THERE. I'M STARVING.
- YOU HEARD SPACE GHOST, DAD.
THERE'S MONEY TO BE MADE SUPERHEROING, FOR THEM THAT KNOWS HOW TO.
- I DO LIKE MONEY. NEVER SAID I DIDN'T.
- GREAT. THEN WHAT'S OUR FIRST MOVE?
- HUH! WELL, IF I'M GOING TO DO THIS THING,
WE NEED TO FIND SOMEONE TO DO ALL THE WORK.
- LIKE A PARTNER. - EXACTLY.
SOMEONE I CAN CONTROL FROM THIS CHAIR.
AND THEY'LL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT
THE DANGER IS ALL THEIRS, AND THE MONEY IS ALL MINE.
- GOT IT. - I AIN'T TAKING NO SHOTS TO THE CHEST.
THAT'S FOR THE PARTNER. - DOUBLE GOT IT!
- AND NO WOMEN. THE HUMP HAS NO TIME FOR SEXUAL ADVENTURES.
ONLY MONEY.
- THE HUMP? - THAT'S MY NEW NAME. YOU DIG IT?
- DIG IT? NO. I LOVE IT!
- GOOD. OH, AND I'LL NEED A HUMP PHONE
TO DIRECT MY SUPERSLAVE.
- I WILL GET THAT PHONE FOR YOU, HUMP.
- I AM GOING TO BE THE RICHEST SUPERHERO
NEVER TO LEAVE HIS OWN KITCHEN.
NOW, GET TO WORK.
[BUZZING]
- HUH! HELLO. YOU'VE REACHED THE HUMP. STATE YOUR EMERGENCY.
- YEAH, MY DAUGHTER'S HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON SATURDAY.
ARE YOU AVAILABLE FOR RIDES?
- MADAM, MY POWERS ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
UNLESS THEY'RE RICH. ARE THEY RICH?
- WELL, NO, BUT-- - [ROAR]
CALL BACK WHEN THEY'RE RICH.
AH, MY FAITHFUL BUTLER HAS RETURNED.
TELL ME, GALVESTON, HAVE YOU FOUND ME A WORTHY SUPERPARTNER?
- [SIGH] HERE'S THE DEAL, HUMP.
- IN BUTLER SPEAK, IF YOU DON'T MIND.
- OH, RIGHT. AHEM.
THE FACT IS, I SPOKE TO
EVERYONE FROM HAMMERHEAD MAN TO OTTO VON SMASHENFACEN
TO SNACKSY THE KID.
- AND?
- WELL, THEY LAUGHED. A LOT.
- A SUPER LOT. AAH!
- [ROARING]
- HUH! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
NOT ONE SUPERGUY WANTED TO JOIN THE HUMP
IN HIS FINANCIALLY REWARDING BATTLE AGAINST BADNESS AND WHATNOT?
- BUT I DID FIND ONE GENTLEMAN WHO WAS INTERESTED IN JOINING FORCES WITH YOU.
- AH. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. BRING HIM ON.
- OK. COME ON IN, SIR.
- I'M COMING.
EVIL IS ON THE WAY.
- HE'S NOT EXACTLY A GOOD GUY. - YEAH, SO?
- WAIT FOR IT. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE EVIL.
AHA! EVIL HAS ARRIVED IN THIS KITCHEN.
BEHOLD THE SLUG.
[LAUGHS]
- RIGHT ON, MAN. - OH, NO.
I'VE FORGOTTEN MY POWER ORB.
I'LL JUST GO BACK TO MY GROTTO.
- NO, NO. THAT'S OK. WE GET THE IDEA.
- BUT I REALLY FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH IT. I REALLY DO.
- SURE YOU DO. NOW, MY MANSERVANT GALVESTON
TELLS ME YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MY UNIQUE POWERS.
- OH, YES. YOU SEE, SLUGS NEED WATER,
WHICH YOU HAVE IN ABUNDANCE, YES?
AND YOUR NIGHT VISION WILL GUIDE MY NOCTURNAL MAYHEM.
MAYHEM!
[LAUGHS] I LOVE IT.
- HUH! - I LOVE IT.
- EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF MAYHEM DO YOU PERFORM?
- IN THE DARK OF NIGHT,
I CREEP INTO MY VICTIMS' GARDENS
AND FEED ON THE TENDER LEAVES OF THEIR BELOVED PLANTS.
NO LEAF IS SAFE FROM MY WRATH!
[LAUGHS]
- HUH! YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL. I'M GOING.
- BRAK, THIS LOSER'S THE ONLY DUDE YOU COULD FIND
WHO WAS INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH ME?
- 'FRAID SO. I DID MY BEST, HUMPTY.
- I'M LEAVING A TRAIL ON THIS FLOOR.
GOOD LUCK CLEANING IT UP. [LAUGHS]
AAH! - AHH. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SEEKING A CRIME-FIGHTING PARTNER.
I'D LIKE TO OFFER MY SERVICES.
- REALLY? - OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT.
I'M HERE TO LAUGH AT YOU. LOOK AT THAT HUMP.
[LAUGHS]
- HUH! [ROARS]
- [LAUGHS]
[CRASH]
THEY SAID YOU ROAR LIKE A CAMEL,
BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM. I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM.
- [ROAR] - YOU'RE KILLING ME.
[LAUGHS]
- HOW ABOUT THIS FOR YOU? YOU LIKE THAT?
BRING THAT HOME TO YOUR MOTHER FOR SUNDAY DINNER!
- [BUZZING] - DAD, THE HUMP PHONE'S RINGING.
- IT'S PROBABLY JUST THE BIRTHDAY LADY.
TELL HER THE LITTLE JERKS CAN RIDE THE HUMP FOR 40 BUCKS,
BUT THE PARTY COMES TO ME.
- AHEM. GALVESTON HERE. TO WHOM IS THIS?
- THIS IS THE COMMISSIONER.
WE NEED THE CAMEL MAN DESPERATELY.
THERE'S A PACK OF THIRSTY OLD PEOPLE,
TRAPPED UPSIDE DOWN IN A CEILING OF A DARK CAVE.
THE CAMEL MAN IS THEIR ONLY HOPE.
- CAN YOU BRING THEM HERE?
- OF COURSE NOT. THEY'RE TRAPPED.
- THEN BUZZ OFF. - AND THEY'RE RICH.
- [ROAR] I'M ON IT.
THE HUMP. HE RIDES!
HUH! HUH! HUH!
AAH!
HUH! AAH!
YAA!
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- AND SO I REFRESHED THE OLD GEEZERS
WITH MY SWEET HUMP NECTAR
AND LED THEM OUT OF THE DARKNESS.
THEY PAID GOOD MONEY FOR IT, TOO.
- WOW! THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!
- YEAH, AND THOSE OLD GEEZERS
TOLD ME THERE WERE OTHER THIRSTY GEEZERS
TRAPPED IN THE DARK ALL OVER THE PLACE.
WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH.
- YOU THE FELLA WHAT'S SAVING MY OLD PEOPLE?
- WHY, YES, MY TOOTHY YOUNG ADMIRER.
WOULD YOU LIKE MY AUTOGRAPH? WHAT'S THE NAME?
- BITIN' LARRY.
- THAT'S AN INTERESTING NAME.
WHY DO THEY CALL YOU--OW!
- [ROAR] - MY HUMP!
- LOOKY HERE, MA. MERLE HAGGARD'S FIXIN' TO PLAY AT THE CIVIC CENTER.
YOU GO AND GET US SOME TICKETS. GO ON, NOW.
[ROAR]
- I'M GOING TO BITE YOU BACK SOMEDAY, LARRY.
- LARRY? YOU CALL ME "HUMP"
WHEN YOU TALK AT ME, BOY. [ROAR]
[WOMAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--