1 00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:11,020 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 2 00:00:11,087 --> 00:00:12,121 ♪ LA LA LA LA ♪ 3 00:00:12,188 --> 00:00:14,657 ♪ BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM ♪ 4 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,292 ♪ LA LA LA LA ♪ 5 00:00:16,359 --> 00:00:18,895 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 6 00:00:18,961 --> 00:00:23,132 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 7 00:00:23,199 --> 00:00:25,168 [CRYING] 8 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,670 [SIGHS] WHAT'S THE MATTER, MOTHER? 9 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:30,139 OH...NOTHING. 10 00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:31,574 [SNIFFLES, SOBS] 11 00:00:31,641 --> 00:00:33,743 I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T STOP CRYING, 12 00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:35,178 I'M GOING TO HAUL OFF AND-- 13 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:36,646 TRY IT. I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM OFF 14 00:00:36,712 --> 00:00:37,780 AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUM! 15 00:00:37,847 --> 00:00:39,582 DO THAT AND I'LL TURN MY BACK ON YOU 16 00:00:39,649 --> 00:00:40,683 AND SLAP YOU ABOUT THE FACE 17 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,351 WITH MY NEWLY ACQUIRED BUM ARM! 18 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:43,486 I'LL BITE THAT BUM ARM OFF, 19 00:00:43,553 --> 00:00:46,589 CHEW IT UP, AND SPIT THE BONE FRAGMENTS INTO YOUR EYES, 20 00:00:46,656 --> 00:00:47,723 PUNCTURING THE OPTICAL ORBS, 21 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,492 CAUSING THE EYEBALL LIQUID TO STREAM DOWN 22 00:00:49,559 --> 00:00:52,628 INTO YOUR LUNGS AND DROWN YOU! 23 00:00:52,695 --> 00:00:54,530 MOTHER, THAT'S PRETTY HARSH. 24 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,299 WHY ARE WE FIGHTING LIKE THIS? 25 00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:59,268 I KNOW. WE NEVER FOUGHT WHEN BRAK WAS HERE. 26 00:00:59,335 --> 00:01:01,370 WHY DID HE HAVE TO MOVE OUT, ANYWAY? 27 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:04,440 WELL, HERE HE IS FOR THE 14th TIME TODAY. ASK HIM YOURSELF. 28 00:01:04,507 --> 00:01:06,809 HONEY, HAVE YOU DECIDED TO MOVE BACK IN? 29 00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:09,278 NO, MOTHER. I'M A MAN NOW. 30 00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:11,013 I DO MAN THINGS. 31 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,682 I'M THINKING ABOUT GROWING A BEARD, 32 00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:15,284 AND THEN GROWING A BEARD ON THAT BEARD. 33 00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:17,353 AND THEN, ON THAT BEARD, 34 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:18,621 A MOUSTACHE! 35 00:01:18,688 --> 00:01:20,790 SO, HOW ARE THINGS IN THE NEW PLACE? 36 00:01:20,857 --> 00:01:21,958 OUTSTANDING, DAD! 37 00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:24,627 ANY MINUTE NOW, MY NEW BACHELOR PAD WILL BE OVERFLOWING 38 00:01:24,694 --> 00:01:26,229 WITH HOT, SQUEEZABLE TAIL 39 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,397 READY TO RUN THEIR FINGERS OVER MY MAN FACE. 40 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:31,100 BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MOVE OUT TO MEET GIRLS? 41 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:33,769 MOTHER, DO YOU KNOW HOW SISSIFIED IT IS 42 00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:34,937 FOR A HOT YOUNG DUDE LIKE BRAK 43 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:37,273 TO BRING GIRLS HOME TO HIS PARENTS' HOUSE? 44 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,075 IT'S SUPER SISSIFIED, MOM. 45 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:39,976 DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS. 46 00:01:40,042 --> 00:01:41,744 IS LIVING IN A CARDBOARD BOX ANY BETTER? 47 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:43,246 WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN. 48 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,714 SOME WOMEN DIG CORRUGATION. 49 00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,849 BRAK, WAS THERE SOMETHING YOU NEEDED, DEAR? 50 00:01:46,916 --> 00:01:48,384 YEAH, I WAS JUST WONDERIN' 51 00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:50,386 IF MY UNDIES WERE READY, MOMMY. 52 00:01:50,453 --> 00:01:52,822 NOT YET. THEY'RE ON THEIR THIRD WASH CYCLE. 53 00:01:52,889 --> 00:01:54,891 WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THOSE THINGS, ANYWAY? 54 00:01:54,957 --> 00:01:56,459 OH, HO HO HO HO HO! 55 00:01:56,526 --> 00:01:57,827 I SEE. 56 00:01:57,894 --> 00:02:00,029 I GUESS I BETTER GET BACK TO MY PAD. 57 00:02:00,096 --> 00:02:02,231 THEM GIRLS AIN'T KISSIN' THEMSELVES. 58 00:02:02,298 --> 00:02:04,934 IF THEY START, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME! 59 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:06,602 I LOVE THAT BUSINESS. 60 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:07,503 [BUZZER GOES OFF] 61 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:09,272 IT SOUNDS LIKE MY BABY'S UNDIES ARE DONE. 62 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,841 I'LL GO AND PUT THEM IN THE DRYER, 63 00:02:11,908 --> 00:02:14,377 MAKE THEM NICE AND FLUFFY. 64 00:02:14,443 --> 00:02:15,411 [DOORBELL RINGS] 65 00:02:15,478 --> 00:02:16,279 MOTHER, THE DOOR. 66 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,080 [DOORBELL RINGS TWICE] MOTHER, THE DOOR! 67 00:02:18,147 --> 00:02:21,784 BUGGER OFF, YOU SILLY LITTLE INEFFECTUAL WANKER! 68 00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,586 ALL RIGHT, FINE. SURE. NO PROBLEM. 69 00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:24,787 I'LL GET THE DOOR. YEAH. 70 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,889 BUT WHOEVER'S AT THE DOOR IS GOING TO WISH 71 00:02:26,956 --> 00:02:29,892 THEY NEVER MADE ME GET UP OFF OF MY SWEET ASS! 72 00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,727 GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 73 00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:33,062 YOU SHOULD SAY GOOD DAY TO MY ASS, 74 00:02:33,129 --> 00:02:35,364 WHICH YOU MADE ME GET OFF OF FROM MY CHAIR 75 00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:36,198 TO COME GET THIS DOOR. 76 00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:38,267 ALL RIGHT, GOOD DAY TO YOUR ASS, SIR. 77 00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:40,036 WOULD YOU CARE TO DO A KIND DEED 78 00:02:40,102 --> 00:02:42,204 FOR AN OLD MAN DOWN ON HIS LUCK? 79 00:02:42,271 --> 00:02:46,142 PERHAPS A DROP OF ALE AND A CRUST OF BREAD. 80 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:46,909 HA HA! 81 00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:48,411 HEY, HOW ABOUT A CRUST OF NOTHING, 82 00:02:48,477 --> 00:02:51,080 AND FOR DESSERT, A DOOR IN YOUR FACE! 83 00:02:51,147 --> 00:02:51,981 HARRUMPH! 84 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:55,084 [SPEAKING SPANISH RAPIDLY] 85 00:02:55,151 --> 00:02:58,254 Brak: AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! 86 00:02:58,321 --> 00:03:01,057 OH, MAN. GOOD ONE, CONAN. WHAT A ZINGER. 87 00:03:01,123 --> 00:03:04,760 EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU CARE TO DO A KIND DEED 88 00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:07,263 FOR A DOWNTRODDEN OLD MAN? 89 00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:09,231 ABSOLUTELY, BUDDY. COME ON IN! 90 00:03:09,298 --> 00:03:09,999 CONAN'S ON. 91 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:12,401 HEY, EVERYBODY, I'M CONAN O'BRIEN. 92 00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:13,636 THANKS FOR WATCHING MY SHOW. 93 00:03:13,703 --> 00:03:16,439 DID YOU HEAR WHAT THE PRESIDENT SAID TODAY? 94 00:03:16,505 --> 00:03:17,740 IT SURE WAS FUNNY. 95 00:03:17,807 --> 00:03:20,276 AH HA HA HA HA HA! 96 00:03:20,343 --> 00:03:21,077 I GET IT! 97 00:03:21,143 --> 00:03:24,013 CONAN, YOU'RE THE KING OF LATE-NIGHT. 98 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,082 AH HA HA HA HA! 99 00:03:26,148 --> 00:03:27,016 YEAH, YEAH. 100 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:29,885 BUT THE THING IS, I'M SO VERY HUNGRY. 101 00:03:29,952 --> 00:03:32,989 COULD YOU SPARE ME A LITTLE BITE TO EAT? 102 00:03:33,055 --> 00:03:33,956 YOU'RE IN LUCK, MY MAN. 103 00:03:34,023 --> 00:03:36,459 I JUST PULLED A 12-POUND CARDBURKEY 104 00:03:36,525 --> 00:03:38,561 OUT OF MY CARDBOVEN. 105 00:03:38,628 --> 00:03:40,429 AND YOU WOULD SHARE THIS DUBIOUS FEAST 106 00:03:40,496 --> 00:03:41,931 WITH A TOTAL STRANGER? 107 00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:42,832 I WOULD, INDEED. 108 00:03:42,898 --> 00:03:45,968 THEN WE HAVE A WINNER! 109 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:49,438 FOR I AM GENEROSITUS, 110 00:03:49,505 --> 00:03:53,409 SON OF GRACIOTIMUS AND GOD OF ALL KINDNESS. 111 00:03:53,476 --> 00:03:56,979 I BRING DOWN THE POWERS OF MOUNT OLYMPITUS, 112 00:03:57,046 --> 00:03:59,181 MACCALAPAPAPAPAPAPATOPOULUS, 113 00:03:59,248 --> 00:04:00,683 TO GRANT YOU ONE WISH 114 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:04,153 AS REWARD FOR YOUR KIND INTENTIONS. 115 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:04,887 WAAH?! 116 00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,857 I AM A GOD! MAKE YOUR WISH NOW! 117 00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:09,191 I COMMAND IT! 118 00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:09,959 [STATIC] 119 00:04:10,026 --> 00:04:12,228 HOT PANTS CALLING LOVING SPOONFUL. 120 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,530 COME IN, LOVING SPOONFUL. OVER. 121 00:04:14,597 --> 00:04:15,231 MY BOY CLARENCE. 122 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,233 HE CRIBS IN THE BOX NEXT DOOR. 123 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,067 WE RUN TOGETHER. 124 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,969 LOVING SPOONFUL CALLING THE HOT PANTS. 125 00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:21,070 WHAT'S UP, PANTS? 126 00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:23,739 I'M SHOWERED AND POWDERED AND READY TO BE DEFLOWERED. 127 00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:26,242 HAVE YOU BAGGED ANY BABES YET, SPOONFUL? COME BACK. 128 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,978 THAT'S A NEGATORY ON THE BABE-O BAGGINGS, HOT PANTS. 129 00:04:29,045 --> 00:04:31,013 I AWAIT YOUR WISHMAKING, YOUNG THUNDERCAT. 130 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,549 LISTEN, HOT PANTS, I GOT A GOD OVER HERE. 131 00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:36,452 I'M GONNA HAVE TO SIGN OFF. OVER. 132 00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:37,887 WHAT?! [PANTING] 133 00:04:37,953 --> 00:04:39,555 HEY! THAT'S NOT A BROAD. 134 00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:42,925 I DIDN'T SAY BROAD, STUPID. I SAID GOD. 135 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,694 HE'S HERE TO GRANT ME A WISH. 136 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,196 AND YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. 137 00:04:47,263 --> 00:04:48,297 OH, THERE'S A TIME LIMIT? 138 00:04:48,364 --> 00:04:50,766 OK, UM...UH... I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS. 139 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,101 HOW ABOUT A MILLION DOLLARS? 140 00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:53,569 IT CANNOT BE MONETARY. 141 00:04:53,636 --> 00:04:54,303 AW, MAN! 142 00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:55,805 WISH FOR A DATE! FOR BOTH OF US. 143 00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:57,506 NO CARNAL PLEASURES. 144 00:04:57,573 --> 00:04:58,741 FORBIDDEN! 145 00:04:58,808 --> 00:05:00,209 NO FOOD. THEN HOW ABOUT-- 146 00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:01,510 THEN ASK FOR A SPACESHIP. 147 00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:02,311 NO SPACESHIPS. 148 00:05:02,378 --> 00:05:03,579 THEN I'LL TAKE A COUPLE OF PAIRS OF-- 149 00:05:03,646 --> 00:05:05,781 NO MAGIC PANTS. HOW ABOUT A RADIO? 150 00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:06,982 OK. I'D LIKE THAT. 151 00:05:07,049 --> 00:05:07,850 NO RADIO! SOMETHING ELSE. 152 00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:09,385 HOW ABOUT A DATE WITH FARRAH FAWCETT? 153 00:05:09,452 --> 00:05:11,721 HOW ABOUT A DATE WITH BENJAMIN FRANKLIN? 154 00:05:11,787 --> 00:05:13,522 I COULD PROBABLY MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 155 00:05:13,589 --> 00:05:14,256 HE'S TOO OLD. 156 00:05:14,323 --> 00:05:15,725 YEAH, BUT HE INVENTED LIGHTNING. 157 00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:16,859 NO ONE INVENTED LIGHTNING. 158 00:05:16,926 --> 00:05:19,128 BURT REYNOLDS DID. I SAW IT IN A MOVIE. 159 00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:19,929 STOKER ACE? 160 00:05:19,995 --> 00:05:21,163 NO. HOOPER, STUPID. 161 00:05:21,230 --> 00:05:21,897 ...AND 5, 4... 162 00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,100 I SAID A MOVIE, NOT A TRAVESTY. 163 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,267 3, 2, 1! [BUZZER SOUND] 164 00:05:25,334 --> 00:05:26,635 TIME IS UP. YOU BLEW IT. 165 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,903 OH, MAN, THAT STINKS. 166 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:29,605 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT DOESN'T STINK. 167 00:05:29,672 --> 00:05:32,675 THAT HOT BROAD I GOT STASHED IN CLARENCE'S BOX. 168 00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:34,877 AAH! THERE'S A WOMAN IN MY BOX? 169 00:05:34,944 --> 00:05:36,645 AND SHE'S READY TO ROCK. 170 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,180 SHE IS? I WANNA ROCK. 171 00:05:38,247 --> 00:05:38,981 YOU KNOW WHAT? 172 00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:40,182 I DON'T FEEL LIKE ROCKING RIGHT NOW, 173 00:05:40,249 --> 00:05:42,418 SO WHY DON'T YOU HEAD ON OVER THERE 174 00:05:42,485 --> 00:05:43,219 AND ROCK HER FOR ME? 175 00:05:43,285 --> 00:05:44,353 CAN MY FRIEND BRAK COME WITH ME? 176 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:46,489 SHE DON'T ROCK THAT WAY. IT'S ONE OR NONE. 177 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,591 GO AHEAD, CLARENCE. YOU'VE EARNED IT. 178 00:05:48,657 --> 00:05:51,660 HERE I GO, INTO THE GREAT WIDE OPEN! 179 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,562 HA HA HA HA HO HEE HO! 180 00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:54,563 HEH HEH HEH! 181 00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:55,998 WHAT'S SO FUNNY, ZORAK? 182 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,199 QUIET! I WANNA LISTEN. 183 00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:58,234 HA HA HA HA HO HEE HEE HO! 184 00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:02,071 HELLO. MY NAME IS CLARENCE. PLEASE BE GENTLE. 185 00:06:02,138 --> 00:06:05,708 [CLARENCE SCREAMING] 186 00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:09,678 THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE SOUND OF A BLOOD CAT 187 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,046 MAULING A FAT KID. 188 00:06:11,113 --> 00:06:12,848 SHE LIKES IT KIND OF ROUGH, HUH? 189 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,583 HEH HEH HEH HEH! YEAH. 190 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:16,285 [CLARENCE WHIMPERING] 191 00:06:16,352 --> 00:06:18,320 EH, WHO'S THE OLD GEEZER? 192 00:06:18,387 --> 00:06:20,656 I AM GENEROSITUS, 193 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:21,991 SON OF GRACIOTIMUS 194 00:06:22,057 --> 00:06:23,959 AND GOD OF ALL KINDNESS. 195 00:06:24,026 --> 00:06:25,895 YEAH, RIGHT! HE SAYS HE GRANTS WISHES, 196 00:06:25,961 --> 00:06:27,530 BUT HE DON'T GRANT CRAP! 197 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,430 THERE ARE RULES. 198 00:06:28,497 --> 00:06:30,166 YOU VIOLATED THE TIME LIMIT. 199 00:06:30,232 --> 00:06:31,267 SO YOU GRANT WISHES, HUH? 200 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:35,337 YES. BUT ONLY TO THOSE WHO PERFORM ACTS OF KINDNESS. 201 00:06:35,404 --> 00:06:37,406 EHH. THAT'S REALLY NOT MY SPECIALTY. 202 00:06:37,473 --> 00:06:39,275 HE'S MORE INTO PAIN DISTRIBUTION. 203 00:06:39,341 --> 00:06:40,342 I'LL DEMONSTRATE. 204 00:06:40,409 --> 00:06:43,846 HEY, ZORAK, HOW YOU DOIN' TODAY, FRIEND? 205 00:06:43,913 --> 00:06:44,713 OOF! 206 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,614 THAT'S MY ZORAK. 207 00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:48,717 ♪ BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BAAH ♪ 208 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,253 GIMME A WISH BEFORE I CRAM A BADGER DOWN YOUR THROAT 209 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,489 AND STRAP A T-BONE STEAK TO YOUR ASS. 210 00:06:53,556 --> 00:06:54,657 I MAY BE FROM OUT OF TOWN, 211 00:06:54,723 --> 00:06:58,360 BUT I DON'T SEE HOW THAT QUALIFIES AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS. 212 00:06:58,427 --> 00:06:59,395 IT IS FOR THE BADGER. 213 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,996 EVENTUALLY HE EATS HIS WAY THROUGH TO THE STEAK. 214 00:07:01,063 --> 00:07:02,765 THAT'S A GOOD MEAL FOR A BADGER. 215 00:07:02,832 --> 00:07:04,266 THEY DON'T USUALLY GET STEAK. 216 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:07,336 SO LET'S SEE, WHAT SHOULD I WISH FOR? 217 00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:08,537 PUT DOWN THE BADGER. 218 00:07:08,604 --> 00:07:10,039 PUT IT DOWN. COME TO THINK OF IT-- 219 00:07:10,105 --> 00:07:13,008 MY WISH IS TO DO THE BADGER TRICK BACKWARDS. 220 00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:15,778 SO PUT THE STEAK IN YOUR MOUTH AND BEND OVER. 221 00:07:15,845 --> 00:07:17,546 I DON'T THINK SO. 222 00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:19,215 FUZZAH! 223 00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:22,251 AAH! YOU CAST ZORAK INTO THE CARDBOVEN. 224 00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:25,588 AND I ALSO TURNED HIM INTO CARDBOARD. DID YOU NOTICE? 225 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,256 OH, YEAH, LOOK AT THAT. 226 00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:28,524 HEY, WHERE'S THE BADGER? 227 00:07:28,591 --> 00:07:31,660 HE'S STEAK-HUNTING IN ZORAK'S CARDBOARD COLON. 228 00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:34,496 ISN'T THAT IRONIC? HA HA! 229 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:36,632 I WANTED TO BE THE GOD OF IRONY, 230 00:07:36,699 --> 00:07:38,267 BUT THAT WENT TO IRONICUS. 231 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,468 HEY, BRAK, WHAT'S UP? 232 00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:42,805 UGH! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, DAD? 233 00:07:42,872 --> 00:07:46,475 SON, I JUST LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON. 234 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:49,411 NEVER CROSS YOUR SWEET, LOVING MOTHER 235 00:07:49,478 --> 00:07:52,047 UNLESS--AND THIS IS A KEY POINT-- 236 00:07:52,114 --> 00:07:54,984 UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR ARM RIPPED OFF 237 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,353 AND SHOVED UP YOUR ASS. 238 00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:58,420 THANKS, DAD. 239 00:07:58,487 --> 00:08:02,191 I'LL REMEMBER THAT FOREVER. 240 00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:07,062 HEY, UH--UH-- CAN I STAY HERE TONIGHT? 241 00:08:07,129 --> 00:08:08,631 YOUR MOTHER THREW ME OUT. 242 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,099 SURE, DAD. MY BOX IS YOUR BOX. 243 00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:13,002 HEY, WHAT'S THIS OLD FART-KNOCKER DOING IN MY NEW HOUSE? 244 00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,937 YOUR SON INVITED ME IN. 245 00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:15,938 WELL, INVITE YOURSELF OUT 246 00:08:16,005 --> 00:08:17,907 BEFORE I SMACK YOU WITH MY BUM ARM. 247 00:08:17,973 --> 00:08:19,275 COME ON, BIG BOY, 248 00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:20,576 PUT YOUR FACE DOWN HERE. 249 00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:22,511 I'LL KNOCK THE FARTS OUT OF YOU! 250 00:08:22,578 --> 00:08:24,847 I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. 251 00:08:24,914 --> 00:08:27,516 BUTTASSAFASS! 252 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,219 YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. 253 00:08:30,286 --> 00:08:33,322 THAT WASN'T VERY NICE WHAT YOU JUST DID TO MY DAD! 254 00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:35,457 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF THE SAME? 255 00:08:35,524 --> 00:08:36,759 I WOULD NOT, SIR. 256 00:08:36,825 --> 00:08:38,294 [PASSES GAS LOUDLY] 257 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,763 UH-OH. I GOT TO GO TO THE CAN. 258 00:08:40,829 --> 00:08:43,666 OH, I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. 259 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,867 THAT... 260 00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,835 [INHALES] 261 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,070 WAS INCREDIBLE. 262 00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:50,072 CLARENCE? I THOUGHT YOU'D BE DEAD. 263 00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:52,041 CLARENCE THE BOY IS DEAD. 264 00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:57,179 MEET CLARENCE THE MAN WHO JUST HAD SEX. 265 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,981 [INHALING] 266 00:08:59,048 --> 00:09:00,049 PFFT. 267 00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:01,050 AND LOVED IT! 268 00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:03,118 YOU HAD SEX WITH A BLOOD CAT? 269 00:09:03,185 --> 00:09:04,186 THE FIRST TIME. 270 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,688 BUT AFTER THAT, MY ATHLETIC 271 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,557 AND SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX LOVEMAKING... 272 00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:09,491 [INHALES] 273 00:09:09,558 --> 00:09:11,827 TRANSFORMED HER BACK INTO THE BEAUTY SHE WAS 274 00:09:11,894 --> 00:09:17,499 BEFORE A HORRIBLE SPELL WAS CAST UPON HER. 275 00:09:17,566 --> 00:09:20,436 OR MAYBE IT WAS JUST MY GIANT WIENER. 276 00:09:20,502 --> 00:09:21,603 EITHER WAY, IT HAPPENED. 277 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:24,139 Girl: CLARENCE, WHERE ARE YOU? 278 00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:27,443 I NEED YOUR SWEET PASSION, BABY! 279 00:09:27,509 --> 00:09:29,178 I'M IN HERE, MY LOVE! 280 00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:31,480 IT'S READY FOR YA. 281 00:09:31,547 --> 00:09:32,214 RUBY! 282 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,049 G? IS THAT YOU, BABY?! 283 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,184 BABY, WHERE YOU BEEN? 284 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,553 YOU WENT OUT FOR SMOKES THAT NIGHT AND NEVER CAME BACK. 285 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,723 I KNOW! I RAN INTO YOUR MOM AT THE SIP AND LUBE 286 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,992 AND THE OLD WHORE CAST A SPELL ON ME. 287 00:09:43,058 --> 00:09:43,993 MADE ME INTO A BLOOD CAT. 288 00:09:44,059 --> 00:09:44,994 AND THAT'S HOW IT'S BEEN 289 00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,396 TILL CLARENCE HERE CAME ALONG AND DID ME RIGHT. 290 00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,498 SEVERAL TIMES, I MIGHT ADD. 291 00:09:49,565 --> 00:09:51,367 IT WAS REALLY ONLY ONCE. 292 00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:54,203 THERE WAS LOTS OF FUMBLING IN THE DARK. 293 00:09:54,269 --> 00:09:55,004 OH, OK. 294 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,405 MOST OF WHAT HE DID WAS TO HIMSELF. 295 00:09:56,472 --> 00:10:01,377 RUBY, HAVE YOU HAD A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GENTLEMAN? 296 00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:02,644 YES. SHE IS MY WIFE. 297 00:10:02,711 --> 00:10:07,316 I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR FREEING HER FROM HER SPELL. 298 00:10:07,383 --> 00:10:08,951 TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE, 299 00:10:09,018 --> 00:10:11,720 I WILL GRANT BRAK HIS WISH. 300 00:10:11,787 --> 00:10:12,488 HOT DOG! 301 00:10:12,554 --> 00:10:14,723 WHAT ABOUT ME? DON'T I GET A WISH? 302 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:17,226 WELL, YOU DID NAIL MY WIFE. 303 00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:19,361 YES, SIR...I DID. 304 00:10:19,428 --> 00:10:21,330 [INHALES] 305 00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:24,466 OH, YEAH. 306 00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:27,002 SO, BRAK, I AWAIT YOUR WISH. 307 00:10:27,069 --> 00:10:28,404 OK. OK. 308 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:30,005 OK, OK, OK, OK. 309 00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:32,975 UH...OK, OK, UH... 310 00:10:33,042 --> 00:10:35,511 I WISH--I WISH I WERE... 311 00:10:35,577 --> 00:10:36,678 A PENGUIN! 312 00:10:36,745 --> 00:10:37,312 A PENGUIN. 313 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:38,247 YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I WANT. 314 00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:40,983 COME ON, BOY. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. 315 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,718 WISH FOR SOMETHING BIGGER. 316 00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:44,987 DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE US ALL PENGUINS? 317 00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,655 HE SAID WISH FOR SOMETHING BIGGER. 318 00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:47,823 I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. 319 00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:50,793 I REALLY THINK THE FAMILY TOOK TO ME AS YOUR REPLACEMENT, 320 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:51,827 WOULDN'T YOU SAY, DUCKY? 321 00:10:51,894 --> 00:10:54,196 CHECK THE INTERNET, HONEY. I'M STILL THE STAR HERE. 322 00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:56,598 THIS SURE BEATS HAVING A BADGER IN MY COLON. 323 00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,067 HUBBA DUBBA DOH! 324 00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:00,135 LONG LIVE PENGUINCLEESE! 325 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,236 AWAY! 326 00:11:01,303 --> 00:11:04,173 THIS COLD IS MAKING MY WIENER SMALL. 327 00:11:04,239 --> 00:11:05,808 AAH! 328 00:11:06,975 --> 00:11:07,676 THIS IS STUPID. 329 00:11:07,743 --> 00:11:08,677 I WISH WE WEREN'T PENGUINS 330 00:11:08,744 --> 00:11:12,281 AND THAT OUR SHOW WASN'T CANCELED.