CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU BOYS READY TO GO?
I'M READY, MOM.
I'M READY NOT TO GO.
WELL, YOU'RE GOING.
I TOLD THE NEW NEIGHBORS
WE WERE COMING TO THEIR DINNER PARTY,
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.
MOTHER, PEOPLE ONLY INVITE YOU TO DINNER FOR 3 REASONS--
TO SELL YOU VITAMINS, TO DRUG YOU AND TAKE UNPLEASANT SNAPSHOTS,
OR TO CONVERT YOU TO THEIR HIDEOUS FARMING RELIGION.
OH, RUBBISH!
THEY MAKE YOU TAKE AN ANIMAL WIFE!
YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR BUM OFF THAT CHAIR,
PUT ON YOUR WALKING HAT, AND COME TO THE PARTY.
IS THAT CLEAR?
ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M NOT KISSING ANY ANIMALS ON THE LIPS.
ME, NEITHER.
FAIR ENOUGH. OFF WE GO, THEN.
NOW, YOU'RE BOTH TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR TONIGHT.
OK, MOM. AS LONG AS THEY HAVE ATARI, BRAK WILL BE JUST FINE,
'CAUSE BRAK LOVES ATARI!
THEY PROBABLY DON'T EVEN HAVE TOILETS.
OF COURSE THEY DO.
THEN I'M SURE THEY FLUSH UPWARDS,
SPRAYING BOTTOM-DEVOURING SPIDERS ON YOU.
WON'T THAT BE A TREAT?
YOU ARE GOING TO BE CHARMING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
AND YOU WILL KEEP YOUR PECULIAR THEORIES
AND PHILOSOPHIES OF LIFE TO YOURSELF.
BUT THAT'S WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLE, MOTHER.
DON'T YOU WANT TO EXPOSE THEM TO THE FULL DAD TREATMENT?
THEY DON'T WANT THE FULL DAD TREATMENT.
[QUIETLY] NO ONE DOES.
NOW, SMILES ON, EVERYONE. I'M RINGING THE DOORBELL.
Man: COME IN.
AH, YOU MUST BE THE DINNER...GUESTS.
DINNER GUESTS.
I REALLY SHOULD HAVE PUT
THOSE TWO WORDS CLOSER TOGETHER.
LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M FRANKLIN.
WELL, IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, FRANKLIN.
I'M MOM...
I'M DAD...
AND I AM BRUNO PIERRE DU SANGE,
THE BOY WITH TWO STOMACHS.
HA HA. ACTUALLY, THIS IS OUR SON BRAK.
AH, BRAK. OUR SON WINSTON IS VERY EXCITED TO MEET YOU.
UH, GREET YOU.
I DIDN'T SAY "EAT," DID I?
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.
UM, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU RUN ALONG AND PLAY WITH WINSTON?
OK. WHERE DOES HE STAY AT?
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS. YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
HOWEVER, IF YOU DO,
YOU'LL FALL THROUGH THE TRAPDOOR AND DIE.
YOU HAVE A TRAPDOOR? OF COURSE NOT.
BUT YOU JUST SAID-- NO, I DIDN'T.
MOTHER, DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE--
I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE HOUSE.
SAY, FRANKLIN, HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT YOUR NAME STARTS WITH AN "F"?
I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT MEN WITH "F" NAMES.
Mom: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PRESENT YOUR "F" NAMES THEORY.
OH, BUT I'M SURE FRANKLIN'S INTERESTED.
AREN'T YOU, F-F-F-F-F-F-FRANKLIN?
IF YOU CONTINUE WITH THIS, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.
I SEE. AHEM. SAY THERE, FRANKLIN,
THAT'S QUITE A LOVELY PAIR OF HANDS YOU HAVE--
THE HANDS, I WOULD THINK, OF A COIN COLLECTOR,
OR PERHAPS A LOTION ENTHUSIAST.
HUH? AM I RIGHT? ON OCCASION, YES.
THERE. WAS THAT CHARMING ENOUGH FOR YOU, MOTHER?
VERY NICE, DEAR. FRANKLIN, WHY DON'T I GO SEE
IF I CAN HELP YOUR WIFE WITH DINNER?
OH, YES. SHE'S IN THE DINING ROOM, SETTING THE TABLE.
I'M SO ANXIOUS TO MEET HER.
[FADING FOOTSTEPS]
AHEM.
OK.
AHEM.
SO, FRANKLIN-- HA HA HA HA HA!
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
I WASN'T LAUGHING. I HAVE NO MEMORY OF LAUGHING.
WELL, YOU JUST DID.
I THINK I'D KNOW IF I'D LAUGHED.
HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU THE HOUSE.
OH, OK. THAT WOULD BE-- HA HA HA HA HA HA!
THERE! YOU DID IT AGAIN JUST THEN!
Brak: HEY, WINSTON, HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE ANY TOYS?
ALL YOU GOT IS... IS CONDIMENTS.
[DEEP VOICE] I USE THEM WHEN I HAVE PEOPLE OVER TO EAT.
IT MAKES THEM TASTIER TO ME.
TO MY MOUTH. [LAUGHING]
[LAUGHS] THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
WHY DON'T YOU GO PICK UP THAT KNIFE
AND STAB YOURSELF A FEW TIMES?
I'D DO IT MYSELF,
BUT MY HEART'S SO PUNY,
IT CAN'T PUMP ENOUGH JUICE TO GET MY LIMBS TO WORKIN'.
HEY, WHY DON'T WE PLAY A GAME OR SOMETHING?
WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN? OH, YEAH, THAT WOULD.
HOW ABOUT YOU PLAY, UH, YOU BANG YOUR HEAD ON THAT WALL
AND CRAWL BACK OVER TO ME.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE FUN AT ALL.
IT'S FUN FOR ME, 'CAUSE I EAT YOU.
[LAUGHING] FUN FOR WINSTON!
ONE MORE REMARK LIKE THAT, AND I AM LEAVING!
NO, DON'T GO! DON'T GO!
WINSTON LONELY.
WE PLAY A GAME, JUST LIKE BRAK SAID.
THEN I EAT YOU!
I'M JUST JOKING.
WELL, RHONDA, I THINK THE TABLE'S QUITE SQUARED AWAY.
I AM RHONDA, FROM THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF YAR.
YES. YOU'VE MENTIONED THAT QUITE A FEW TIMES.
SAY, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP IN THE KITCHEN?
NO. THE FOOD HAS BEEN ARRANGED.
OH, SPLENDID. WELL, THEN I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD JOIN THE BOYS IN THE--
THE DAY OF JUDGMENT IS AT HAND!
ALL RIGHT, IF YOU SAY SO.
YOU WILL BE JUDGED. SO SAYETH THE SCRIBES OF YAR.
YOU KNOW, RHONDA, I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I KNOW WHERE YAR IS.
YOU'LL FIND OUT... WHEN YOUR SOUL IS DEVOURED
AND BELCHED FORTH ONTO THE SHORE OF THE RIVER OF HEADS.
OH, DEAR.
THIS I CAN ASSURE YOU.
[LAUGHING EVILLY] [DOORBELL]
I'LL GET THAT.
I LET MYSELF IN. WAS THAT RUDE?
NO. I THINK IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
GOOD. THIS IS MY FIRST DINNER PARTY.
I WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
I HAVE INSTALLED A SOCIAL INTERACTION PROGRAM
TO SUPPRESS MY WARLIKE TENDENCIES
IN FAVOR OF AN ENTERTAINING PARTY PERSONA.
I WILL DEMONSTRATE.
[BEEP]
WAS TODAY'S INCREASE IN THERMAL UNITS
AGREEABLE TO YOUR CARBON-BASED CELL STRUCTURE?
ACTUALLY, IT WAS A BIT WARM FOR MY FANCY.
THEN MIGHT I SUGGEST WE ACQUIRE FRIGID, INTOXICATING LIQUIDS
TO LOWER OUR CORE TEMPERATURES?
[BEEP]
HOW ABOUT I SCARE US UP A COUPLE OF COLD ONES, BABY?
EXCELLENT IDEA, THUNDERCLES.
LET'S JOIN THE OTHERS.
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE AS DINNER--
UH, DINNER.
I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DELICIOUS GROUP.
DELICIOUS?
MEANING, OF COURSE,
THAT WE'RE ALL DELICIOUS PEOPLE, AREN'T WE?
ON THE INSIDE? WHERE THE MEAT IS?
[BEEP]
SPEAKING OF DELICIOUS,
WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET THIS HOT WIFE OF YOURS?
I THINK THAT'S HER NOW.
FRANKLIN! WHY IS THERE A ROBOT AT MY TABLE?
WELL, NOW, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS A ROBOT?
YOU WILL BE JUDGED HARSHLY FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
Franklin: YES, YES, I KNOW.
SAY, F-F-F-F-FRANKLIN, I HAVE TO ASK--
YES, I DO, MOTHER. I REALLY DO.
F-F-F-F-FRANKLIN, WHY IS YOUR WIFE IN A STEEL BOX?
RHONDA, I'M SORRY. HE HAS NO BUSINESS ASKING--
HA HA HA HA HA!
I'M SORRY. DID I SAY SOMETHING FUNNY?
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FUNNY. WATCH THIS.
F-F-FRANKLIN, MY CAT GOT RUN OVER BY A BUS TODAY.
OH, I'M-- I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO LAUGH?
WHY WOULD I LAUGH AT A DEAD CAT?
YOU THINK YOUR CAT HAS ESCAPED JUDGMENT THROUGH DEATH?
FOOL! EVEN THE DEAD WILL BE JUDGED.
HA HA HA HA!
I WASN'T LAUGHING.
SILENCE, AUTOMATON! YOU ARE AN UNDESIRED GUEST!
[BEEP]
[BEEP BEEP]
A ROBOT WALKS INTO A BAR
WITH A DUCK IN ONE HAND
AND A PLASMA CAN IN THE OTHER.
WHEN THE BARTENDER SAYS, "WE DON'T SERVE DUCKS HERE,"
THE DUCK REPLIES, "THAT'S FINE.
MY ROBOT ISN'T THIRSTY."
HA HA. THIRSTY.
YOU AREN'T FUNNY, AND YOUR JUDGMENT WILL REFLECT IT.
YOU JUST DID NOT GET IT.
SO SAYETH RHONDA, FROM THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF YAR.
HERE WE GO AGAIN. HA HA HA HA HA!
HEY, MOTHER, I DARE YOU TO STICK YOUR HAND IN THE BOX.
I WILL NOT. STICK YOUR OWN HAND IN THERE.
YES! COME TO THE BOX.
RHONDA WILL SUCK YOUR HEART OUT!
I SAY, IS ANYONE GOING TO DRINK THAT WINE?
WHAT'S UP WITH THE COST OF MOVIES THESE DAYS?
I HAD TO SECURE A BANK LOAN
TO PURCHASE A BOX OF HARDENED LICORICE PRODUCT.
[BEEP]
AND WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE, ANYWAY?
YOU BITE ONE, AND IT STICKS TO YOUR TEETH THE WHOLE MOVIE,
AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TEETH, BUT IT STILL UPSETS ME.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[BEEP] HA HA HA HA!
[BEEP] HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
THE JIG IS UP, COMRADE POOPOV.
I'M HERE TO BRING YOU IN FOR THE CRIMES YOU HAVE DONE.
YOU GOT ME, BINKY DOODLES, BABY DETECTIVE.
HOW DID YOU EVER ESCAPE MY SUPER DEADLY BEAR PIT?
MY DIAPER IS LOADED WITH SECRETS, POOPOV.
YOUR SIMPLE RUSSIAN BRAIN WILL NEVER WIPE AWAY THE SWEET SMELL OF FREEDOM.
I SURRENDER MY COUNTRY TO YOU, BINKY.
YOU'RE MY HERO.
AND...THAT'S A WRAP.
MAN, IF WE HAD A CAMERA, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST MOVIE EVER!
[CRYING]
WHAT'S THE MATTER, WINSTON? DIDN'T YOU LIKE THE ENDING?
NO, IT WAS GOOD.
WELL, IS YOUR BEARD BOTHERING YOU?
'CAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT OFF FOR THE WRAP PARTY.
I'M AFRAID THERE WON'T BE A WRAP PARTY
WHEN YOU FIND OUT MY MOM AND DADDY
HAD ATE YOUR MOM AND DADDY.
OH, NO!
SEE? I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA LIKE IT.
[CRYING]
MOMMY! DADDY! AAAH!
AAAH! THEY'RE GONE! I'M TOO LATE!
YOU'VE ALREADY EATEN MY MOM AND DAD!
Dad: WE'RE OK, SON.
I'M JUST CHECKING OUT THE INSIDE OF THIS BOX.
Rhonda: MOVE OVER!
MOMMY NEEDS ANOTHER LITTLE DRINKITY-WINKITY.
[HICCUPS] OH!
BUT WINSTON JUST TOLD ME
THAT HIS MOM AND DAD WERE GONNA EAT YOU GUYS!
F-F-F-FRANKLIN?
IS THERE ANY TRUTH TO THIS STORY?
I'M AFRAID SO, DAD.
YOU SEE, RHONDA AND I REALIZED ONE DAY
THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME RATHER...DRAB.
VERY PREDICTABLE.
WE TRIED SOME THINGS, MOVED AROUND,
JOINED SOME CLUBS--
Rhonda: NONE OF IT WORKED! IT WAS ALL BAD!
AND FINALLY, WINSTON SUGGESTED THAT WE TRY EATING PEOPLE.
WINSTON IS A GENIUS.
YES. HE'S BEEN FASCINATED BY CANNIBALISM EVER SINCE HE WAS A BABY.
HIS DELIVERY RUINED MY BODY.
I DON'T KNOW, RHONDA. YOU LOOKED PRETTY GOOD IN THERE TO ME.
YOU REALLY FILL THAT BOX OUT.
HEY THERE, LITTLE SHORTY. [HICCUPS]
YOU GOT ALL THE WOMAN YOU'LL NEED RIGHT HERE.
SPEAKING OF SHORTIES, WOULD ANYONE LIKE
TO SMOKE SOME ILLEGAL NARCOTICS?
HUH?
[BEEP]
[PLAYING ACCORDION]
♪ COME OUT, YE FELLAS THAT FOLLOW THE SEA ♪
♪ WITH A HO, HO, BLOW THE MAN DOWN ♪
♪ NOW, JUST PAY ATTENTION AND LISTEN TO ME ♪
♪ I'M WEARING A DIAPER, AND I LOVE IT! ♪
♪ ON BOARD THE BLACK MAULER, I FIRST SERVED MY TIME ♪
♪ HA HA HA HA HA HA, I BLOW THE MAN DOWN ♪
I AM RHONDA FROM THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF YAR!
THE SEA WILL RUN RED WITH BLOOD FROM YOUR NECK!
♪ BLOW THE MAN DOWN ♪
♪ 'TIS LARBOARD AND STARBOARD ♪
♪ ON DECK YOU WILL CRAWL ♪
THIS IS THE BEST FRIGGIN' DINNER PARTY EVER!
HEE HEE HEE!
TOMORROW, WE PARTY AT MY HOUSE.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
Dad: WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?