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World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,641 (WIND HOWLS) 3 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,276 - I'm gettin' somethin' on the sonar! - MAN: What is it? 4 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,238 Strong reading from underneath the cap rock, sir! 5 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,949 - Possible oil flow? - Still analyzing. 6 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,368 (ELECTRONIC WARBLING) 7 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,956 It's... 8 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,792 Sounds like... 9 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,548 Tiny hammers. 10 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,039 Let's go skating! 11 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,072 (CHUCKLES) 12 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,411 (TOYS SQUEAKING) 13 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,415 (QUACKING) 14 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,937 (BEEPING) 15 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:12,358 - They're coming right at us! - Take us to Elfcon 3! 16 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,943 Take us to Elfcon 3. 17 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,115 (ALARM SOUNDING) 18 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,036 (THUDDING) 19 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,246 (WHOOSHING) 20 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,047 These guys aren't stopping. 21 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,967 - Take us to Elfcon 2! - Let's go to Elfcon 2. 22 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,508 We have a partridge in a pear tree. 23 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,846 You take us to Elfcon 1. Let's rig for silent running. 24 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,058 - Look alive, everybody! - Okay, we're at Elfcon 1. 25 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,310 (KLAXON BLARING) 26 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,899 (WHIRRING) 27 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,984 (ELECTRONIC BEEPING) 28 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,446 (SILENCE) 29 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,039 (SIGHS) 30 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,793 (AIRPLANE SOARING) 31 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,129 (ELECTRONIC WARBLING STOPS) 32 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,465 - I lost it! - What do you mean, you lost it? 33 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,133 Wait! 34 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,553 What the... 35 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,893 Sir, you're gonna want to hear this. 36 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,437 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 37 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,481 You better watch out 38 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,775 You better not cry 39 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,403 You better not pout and I'm telling you why 40 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,904 Find out where that music's coming from. 41 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:22,989 Okay. 42 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,332 (BEEPS) 43 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,751 Santa, I've got her on the locator. 44 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,932 He knows when you are sleeping 45 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,602 He knows when you're awake 46 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:58,232 He knows if you've been bad or good 47 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,027 So be good for goodness'... 48 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,695 Yeah, yeah, yeah 49 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,530 You better watch out 50 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,574 You better not cry 51 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,367 You better not pout 52 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,661 - And I'm telling you why - Whoo! 53 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:15,291 - (HUMMING TUNE) - Santa Claus is coming to... 54 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,625 (MUSIC STOPS) 55 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,713 - What now? - It's just gone. 56 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,089 In the middle of the chorus! 57 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,258 MAN 1: Nobody needs to know about this. 58 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:28,095 MAN 2: Maybe we should mention the Smokey Robinson thing, sir. 59 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,015 ELF OVER TANNOY: We're at Elfcon 4. All clear. 60 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,099 (ELVES CHEERING) 61 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:35,102 Curtis, what do you say we get you headphones this Christmas? 62 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,314 It's all right, everybody. Let's get back to work. 63 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,650 Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up! 64 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,487 - SANTA: Bernard. - (SIGHS) 65 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,578 You know I didn't break any of the rules, 66 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,330 according to The Santa Handbook. 67 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,625 The handbook! Curtis, do you go pee-pee with that thing? 68 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,586 It says elves are encouraged to listen to music. 69 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:05,549 It makes them more creative, more productive and more alert. 70 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,134 Look out! 71 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,303 (REINDEER BABBLES WITH EXCITEMENT) 72 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,516 (TRIUMPHANT LAUGH) 73 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,309 - (REINDEER SCREAMING) - (LOUD THUMP) 74 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,480 - It's okay. - BOY: Let's go! 75 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,192 - Is he all right? - ELF: He's okay, Santa. 76 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,568 Wow. 77 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:27,279 That's gonna leave a mark. Ooh. 78 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,740 Is that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer. 79 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,201 - Who is that? - It was Chet. 80 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,245 A reindeer in training. 81 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,205 Oh. (SCOFFS) 82 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,042 Well, please tell me that it's early in his training. 83 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,128 Wow! Nice fall. 84 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,506 Curtis, when are you gonna tell him? 85 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,258 Not now! 86 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,448 It's so cold up here. How can you not be freezing? 87 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,577 You have not seen cold till you see where my dad lives. It's... 88 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,663 Don't be embarrassed. My parents are divorced. 89 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,290 - No big deal. - I'm not embarrassed. 90 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,876 - Why don't you talk about your dad? - He doesn't like me to. 91 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,253 - It's complicated. - Is he a spy? 92 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,796 No, he... 93 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,549 He works with toys and these 94 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,011 little people. Kids. 95 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,306 Can we just do what we came here to do? 96 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:36,765 Sure. 97 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,476 (SIGHS) 98 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,105 All right. 99 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,442 Charlie, this is really dangerous. 100 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,943 Someone could catch us at any moment. 101 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,488 Kinda exciting. 102 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,367 Well, you know, Danielle, I may not come out of this alive. 103 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,702 (CHUCKLES) 104 00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,538 So, in case we don't see each other again... 105 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,710 Whoa! (SCREAMING) 106 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,296 (PANTING) 107 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,465 (SIGHS IN RELIEF) 108 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,008 Are you okay? 109 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,846 Whew! 110 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,396 (SPRAY PAINTING) 111 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,232 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 112 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,829 - Almost done. - Okay. I'm not leaving. 113 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,211 I've been a naughty boy 114 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:51,423 I didn't get a toy 115 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:56,929 Santa Claus left nothing Underneath my tree 116 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,433 He knows that I've been bad 117 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,728 But being good just ain't my bag... 118 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,355 (MUSIC STOPS) 119 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,150 (FOOTSTEPS) 120 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,866 Hello, Charlie. 121 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,453 Hello, Principal Newman. 122 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,709 (BOLT TIGHTENING) 123 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,961 SANTA: Okay, try it now. 124 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,170 (ENGINE REVS) 125 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,797 (ELVES CHEERING) 126 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:36,051 Okay, all right. Here's what we need. 127 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:40,472 Get one more bolt on that flange, and it's ready for Christmas. 128 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,850 Good work, guys. Whew! 129 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:47,521 Perfect job on suspension, you guys. Thinkin' outside the box. I love it. 130 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,945 - Do you want a cookie, Santa? - Do I want a cookie? 131 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,031 Yes! What's fresh? 132 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,866 Ooh! 133 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,743 Sweet, just like you. 134 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,878 Alexander, let's think. 135 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,963 Take the hat off. 136 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,176 Too much counterweight. 137 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,179 Thanks, Santa. You're the man. 138 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,140 That's why they give me the big belly, so I don't fall over! (CACKLES) 139 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:28,771 Hey, Joey! How's that static-free tinsel coming? 140 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,274 Hey, guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel. 141 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,443 (ALL LAUGHING) 142 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,494 I could come up there and take care of this the ugly way. 143 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:48,290 Or we go outside and play some football. 144 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,583 (CHEERING) 145 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,464 Curtis, you need to tell him right now! 146 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,759 I don't know. He's so happy right now. 147 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,095 And why do I have to be the one to tell him? 148 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,556 Because I'm the head elf. I don't give bad news. 149 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,767 It's one of the perks of my seniority. 150 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,394 Now, tell him! 151 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,708 Come on, pork chop. Bring it on. 152 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,837 Who you callin' pork chop, meatloaf? 153 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,547 Meatloaf? 154 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,299 You wanna talk some trash? I'll talk trash with ya. 155 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,928 - But first, I'm gonna blitz. - Ready, set! 156 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:46,598 - I'm comin' after you, buddy. - Seven swans a-swimming! 157 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,517 Six geese a-laying! 158 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,687 ALL: Five golden rings! 159 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,188 Hike! 160 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,276 Hey, who's got the ball? I can see it. Let go of me. 161 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,612 He's too quick! He spins! He moves! He's on the way! 162 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,449 And he might go all the 163 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,201 way! Whoo! 164 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,704 Rumblin', stumblin', bumblin'! 165 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,956 SANTA: They pile on! (GROANS) 166 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,879 Okay, you win! 167 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,214 (GROANS) 168 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,889 You guys aren't elves. You're wizards! 169 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,142 No matter how many times you run that play, I never see it comin'. 170 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,769 Santa? We need to talk. 171 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,983 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 172 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,366 - That's weird, isn't it? - BOTH: Uh-oh. 173 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,411 - These fit yesterday. - Hot cocoa for you. 174 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,663 This is not a good time, Abby. 175 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,000 I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans. 176 00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:00,088 - What's the bad news? - What do you mean? 177 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:05,219 Whenever you play the designer bean card, you have bad news. 178 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,683 What are you doing with the naughty-and-nice list? 179 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,602 Don't shoot the messenger. 180 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,193 - It's Charlie. - Sheen? 181 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,530 - I thought he straightened out. - Not that Charlie. 182 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,621 My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list? 183 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,331 (SHRIEKING) 184 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,793 - There's gotta be a mistake. - We don't make mistakes. 185 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,588 I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me. 186 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,635 How could this happen? Is this what you were trying to tell me? 187 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,805 Great! You told him! Let's get you dressed for that meeting. 188 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,308 I can't have the meeting here. I'm gonna have to see Charlie. 189 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:57,813 - Number two, tell him now. - Tell me what, guys? Come clean. 190 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,899 - Santa, there's a clause. - That would be me. 191 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,569 No, I mean there's another Santa clause. 192 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,238 Curtis, in case you haven't noticed, this time of year, 193 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,657 the malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses." 194 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,702 Yes, but there's another Santa clause. 195 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,663 There was a first clause, but also a second clause. 196 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,373 BOTH: Get on with it! 197 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:22,170 When the last Santa fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this. 198 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,756 Right. "He who wears the coat 199 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:28,260 "takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus." 200 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,345 And the rest would be history, right? 201 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:35,309 But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook, 202 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:39,771 overlooked the single most important detail 203 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,523 in the history of Christmas! 204 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,275 Wow. 205 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,485 One mistake in 900 years. 206 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,821 Look. 207 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,033 - I can't see that. - Better now? 208 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,744 - Or now? - Well... 209 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,621 - Better now? - It's gettin' there. 210 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,040 - Or now? - I can't see anything. 211 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,419 I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay. 212 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:06,048 "The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing... 213 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:10,844 "True love... Not valid in the state of Utah... 214 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,387 "Holy... 215 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,141 "Matrimony"? 216 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,894 - I gotta get married! - Yes. 217 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,605 It's the Mrs. Clause. 218 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,982 (SCATTING WEDDING SONG) 219 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,694 What if I don't want to get married? 220 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,199 Oh, dear. The de-Santification process has begun! 221 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,826 The de-Santification? 222 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,123 Are you telling me that clause says if I don't get married, 223 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,418 I don't get to be Santa anymore? 224 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,798 (SIGHS) 225 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,510 What about the kids? 226 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,553 What about the elves? 227 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,642 - What about you guys? - It's not completely hopeless. 228 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,644 You still have time to find a wife. 229 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,605 - How much time do I have? - 28 days. 230 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,610 28 days? So I've gotta find a wife by Christmas. 231 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,487 Actually, Christmas Eve. 232 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,994 - I guess it's over. - No! You can't think that way! 233 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,497 Please, don't give up hope. 234 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,252 'Cause if you do, then we have to. 235 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:28,672 (BOTH SIGHING) 236 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,640 - (BOTH SHRIEKING) - Whoa! 237 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,145 Christmas is getting very complicated. 238 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,981 MOTHER NATURE: (FAINTLY) Santa? 239 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,983 Santa? 240 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:52,070 - Are you with us? - I'm sorry, yes. Yes, I am. 241 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:57,200 Well, on behalf of Father Time and the Council of Legendary Figures, 242 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,245 I'd like to thank you for being such a gracious host. 243 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,289 - Hear, hear. - What a lovely place. 244 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,543 Without further ado, let us convene the year-end conference. 245 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,627 (BANGS GAVEL) 246 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,088 - Tooth Fairy. - Thank you, Mother Nature. 247 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,048 Fellow council members, 248 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,051 I'd like to again propose a new name for myself. 249 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,471 - Oh, please! - Good heavens! 250 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:22,100 In the past, you have rejected Tooth Man, Tooth Guy and Tooth. 251 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,978 - Because they stunk. - Today, I'd like to submit 252 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,230 - Captain Floss. - Nice! 253 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:28,482 - Plaque Man. - (SNORTS) 254 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,777 - And Roy. - (LAUGHS) Roy! No. 255 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,530 No kid's gonna put a tooth under a pillow for a man named Roy. 256 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,450 This from someone in a diaper who shoots people's butts! 257 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,702 Wait a minute. I got it. I got it. I got it. 258 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,455 Now, how about this? The Molarnator. 259 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,041 The Molarnator! I like it. 260 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,543 Thank you, Santa. Can we vote now on the Molarnator? 261 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,254 All in favor of a name change for Tooth Fairy? 262 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,424 All right. And all opposed? 263 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:56,968 Easter Bunny? 264 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,555 - Sandman? - (SNORING) What... 265 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,391 What happened? Was I asleep again? 266 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:07,062 Name change for the Tooth Fairy. Yes or no? 267 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,147 No. I'm sorry. 268 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:13,485 All right. Next item on the agenda. Santa? Status report. 269 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:17,405 Okay. First, welcome to the North Pole. Great to have you here. 270 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,826 This is our big time of year, so things are busy as usual. 271 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,995 There's a little speed bump in the road this year. 272 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,666 - You all know Charlie. - Oh! I love Charlie! 273 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,251 - Great kid. - Good boy. 274 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,752 - Sweet kid. - Good teeth. 275 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,589 Well, Charlie got himself on the naughty list. 276 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,508 - What? - Oh, my! 277 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,135 I'm struggling with the timing, 'cause it's... 278 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,472 I gotta be up here and I've also got to take care of Charlie... 279 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,683 That's every parent's dilemma, 280 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,769 how to balance work and children. 281 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,146 Most people lose sleep over that. 282 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:55,110 Tell me about it! I have 33,000 offspring. All in private school. 283 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,155 Well, to top it off, 284 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,741 I have to get married by Christmas Eve. 285 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,369 - What? - Otherwise I stop being Santa. 286 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,954 - What? - No! 287 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,623 The de-Santification process has already begun. 288 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,458 Wait a minute. 289 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,544 You do look thinner, and... 290 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,881 - Your beard is shorter! Right? - ALL: You're right! 291 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,092 Apparently, it's called the Mrs. Clause. 292 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,469 Don't mess with me, Santa. I'm pre-El Niño. 293 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,681 No, I'm not messing with anybody. What I'm saying is, 294 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,933 I have to find a wife in... 295 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,396 27 days, 20 hours and 17 minutes. 296 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,564 Wow. 297 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,399 It's what I do. 298 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,609 (CHUCKLES) 299 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,111 Wait a minute. Cupid! Cupid, come over here. 300 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,530 - What do you need? - Shoot me with a dart. 301 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,909 - Then I'll fall in love. - First of all, they're arrows. 302 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,702 Second of all, no can do. 303 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,246 - Why not? - Arrows have no effect on us. 304 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:51,708 If they did, I would have shot myself, met a nice girl, 305 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,501 left the business years ago. 306 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,630 - Enough with the questions. - You can't stop being Santa. 307 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,173 I don't want to. 308 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,092 Kids are 86% happier since you've taken the job. 309 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,470 - He's right. - SANTA: This is all I want to do. 310 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,764 But what am I gonna do? 311 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,850 Well, you... 312 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,895 You can't be two places at once. 313 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,315 Maybe you can be. 314 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,985 Okay, everyone, can I get the room for a minute? Thank you. 315 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,780 Can I just... One minute. Take a cocoa break. 316 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,949 Have a nice long break. Relax, everyone. 317 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,494 I want to show Santa some improvements on the pantograph. 318 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,913 Thanks. Walk with me. 319 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,916 I've tripled the RAM and reconfigured the circuitry. 320 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,003 I see you've externalized the power source 321 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,714 to make better use of the electromagnetic energy. 322 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,384 No, it's just there 'cause it looks really cool. 323 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,219 Yeah, it does. (CHUCKLES) 324 00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:46,930 Wait a minute. You tripled the RAM. 325 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:50,475 I see where this is going. I am not getting in that machine. 326 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:54,646 Besides, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems. 327 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:59,317 - The elves'll know. - But this would be a special toy! 328 00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,904 - How's that, Curtis? - I added a fuzzy logic circuit. 329 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,407 The duplicate will look and think just like you. 330 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:09,244 When you're with your family, dealing with Charlie, looking for a wife... 331 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:12,330 The toy will be up here melting in front of my fireplace. 332 00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:15,500 No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business up here. 333 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,460 I can deal with business up here. 334 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,755 Santa, if the elves find out we've made a switch... (GASPS) 335 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,675 No! No! This machine is not the answer. 336 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:25,927 (CLATTERING) 337 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,345 (MOUSE SQUEAKING) 338 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,056 Hey! Hey! Hey! You! You! Shoo! 339 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,266 (DEVICE POWERS UP) 340 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,101 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 341 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,984 (ENGINE POWERS DOWN) 342 00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,780 (SQUEAKING) 343 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,665 Look, you can't get much better than that. 344 00:22:56,834 --> 00:23:00,128 And I promise, it won't hurt a bit. 345 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,553 - I'm goin' in. - Oh, I can't watch this! 346 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,265 (WHIRRING) 347 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,106 (DEVICE POWERS UP) 348 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,328 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 349 00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,712 SANTA: Ow! Ow! 350 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:06,111 It's perfect! 351 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,698 That's because it's me, Einstein. 352 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,787 - Santa, are you all right? - Yeah, I got a shock in there. 353 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:16,996 Is there supposed to be a shock? 354 00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:18,957 (BOTH SCREAMING) 355 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,211 ALL: It's naked! 356 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,050 Throw something over it. 357 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,178 - It's incredible! - Yes, it is. 358 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:34,889 (SANTA CHUCKLES) 359 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,268 Can he talk? 360 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:42,230 Hello? 361 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,065 (GABBLES) 362 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:49,571 Hello? 363 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:57,579 Ho, ho, ho! 364 00:24:58,122 --> 00:25:00,540 - Not bad. - Not bad yourself. 365 00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:02,083 (CHUCKLES) 366 00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:04,752 I can't put my finger on it, 367 00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:06,588 but there's something about you that I like. 368 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:09,424 There's something about you that I like! 369 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,427 Hah. 370 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,054 Watch him. I'll be right back. 371 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,056 He's coming right back. 372 00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,266 (CHUCKLES) 373 00:25:18,601 --> 00:25:20,143 Ha-ha-ha! 374 00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:23,104 - Bernard, I need your help. - What do you mean? 375 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:27,358 What I mean is I gotta go see Charlie, and I want you to convince the elves 376 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,028 that toy Santa is me. 377 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,739 - Hmm. Have you seen that thing? - I've seen it. 378 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,533 Keep the elves at a distance and say 379 00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,118 that I've changed my look, it'll work. 380 00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:40,705 Oh, Santa, we're in way over our heads here. 381 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:43,041 If anybody can do this, it's you, number one. 382 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:45,960 I'm not gonna lie to all the elves. 383 00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:49,964 I myself think he looks absolutely terrific! 384 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:53,468 Better and fresher somehow than he has in years. 385 00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:56,554 There's now a more supple veneer to his skin 386 00:25:56,639 --> 00:25:58,973 and an added luster to the thickness of his hair. 387 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:01,434 You could almost say there's a... 388 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,020 A toy-like quality to him. 389 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:07,815 Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look, 390 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:11,402 and I would caution you all not to point or stare 391 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,446 or use the word "plastic." 392 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,156 Okay? Okay. 393 00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:18,034 Thank you. That's all. Back to work, please. 394 00:26:21,372 --> 00:26:22,664 (EXHALES) 395 00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:25,333 (IRRITABLE GRUMBLING) 396 00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:28,628 Comet, because I don't want to take Prancer. 397 00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:32,674 I want to take a trip with you. When's the last time we had a cruise? 398 00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:34,926 - I love you, buddy. - (WHINES) 399 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:38,888 Besides, Prancer had too many apples. We know what that means. 400 00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:41,474 Before you go, take a look at your watch. 401 00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:43,601 Hey! Can't go anywhere without that. 402 00:26:43,686 --> 00:26:47,105 - I've done some work on it. - It's beautiful. It really is. 403 00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:51,025 - You like it? - The workmanship's fabulous. 404 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,237 It has a power reserve that measures how much magic you have left. 405 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:56,281 - It's at 10. - That should be enough. 406 00:26:56,490 --> 00:27:00,702 But if you use up any magic for any reason, the level drops. 407 00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:03,538 Santa, if it gets to zero, 408 00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:06,165 you won't be able to return to the Pole. 409 00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,209 Uh-oh. 410 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,963 Then let's not let it get to zero! 411 00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:15,049 - Now, look at me. - Mmm-hmm. 412 00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:18,678 What's the most important thing? 413 00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:21,097 For you not to touch Santa? 414 00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,933 For you to come back! (LAUGHING) 415 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,768 (COMET GRUMBLES) 416 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:27,312 Thank you. 417 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:30,940 Comet, please just chill out a little bit, okay? 418 00:27:31,025 --> 00:27:35,236 Come on! It's not like we're pullin' the sleigh. Right? 419 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,322 There's no packages. It's one stop. 420 00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:39,907 And I think I might have forgot we're gonna go see Charlie. 421 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,628 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 422 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:55,923 Scott! Hey! You trimmed your beard. 423 00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:57,300 Yeah. 424 00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,677 Come here, big guy. 425 00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,304 (CHUCKLING) 426 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,390 Whoa. Lost some weight there, huh? Slim-Fast? 427 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:05,600 You don't know how fast. 428 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:07,643 - We should get going. - Oh, okay. 429 00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:09,937 How do you always know when there's a problem? 430 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,024 I see you when you're sleepin'. I know when you're awake. 431 00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:16,110 Which is a pretty frightening concept when you think about it. 432 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:18,696 We're really worried about Charlie. 433 00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:22,450 He keeps upping the ante. This time he defaced school property. 434 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,453 - It's classic acting out. - I'm blaming myself for this. 435 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:28,331 - We're both his parents. - Where is he? 436 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,833 He's waiting for us in Principal Newman's office. 437 00:28:30,918 --> 00:28:34,295 Something about her makes me want to deface public property. 438 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,799 Hello, Mr. Calvin. Laura, Neil. 439 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:40,551 - BOTH: Miss Newman. - Principal Newman. 440 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:43,304 Haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble. 441 00:28:43,514 --> 00:28:45,348 I've been traveling for work. 442 00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:49,227 Oh. If you spent more time with your son, there'd be fewer problems. 443 00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,854 Then I wouldn't spend so much time with you, 444 00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,731 - which is always such a pleasure. - Oh. 445 00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:57,819 A battle of wits. It's a shame you come unarmed. Excuse me. 446 00:28:58,153 --> 00:28:59,237 Ouch. 447 00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:04,659 Good morning, Principal Newman. 448 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:08,496 Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see? 449 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,583 It's dark. And it's cold. 450 00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:15,503 It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up 451 00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,005 and you will spend your life stabbing trash. 452 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,674 - Do I make myself clear? - Yes. 453 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,760 - So what are you gonna do? - I'm going to geometry. 454 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:24,720 Have a nice trip. 455 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:28,891 (SIGHS) 456 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:34,814 It's an affront to authority and blatant disrespect for property. 457 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:38,067 If this continues, I'll have no other recourse than to suspend... 458 00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:41,571 Excuse me. Is there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture? 459 00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:45,158 I'm more interested in why this happened in the first place. 460 00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:48,786 So am I. Charlie, we're all worried about you. 461 00:29:48,871 --> 00:29:51,998 It feels like you're trying to get someone's attention. 462 00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:54,083 What's bothering you? 463 00:29:58,088 --> 00:29:59,630 - Dr. Miller? - Neil. 464 00:29:59,715 --> 00:30:03,843 - Neil, any theories? - Well, frankly, I have several. 465 00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:06,304 Here we go. Let's just order a pizza. 466 00:30:06,388 --> 00:30:07,722 - Scott, you're not helping. - Ugh! 467 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:12,268 I was listening to a tape series on child development last night. 468 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:17,106 You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil. 469 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,485 It's four weeks until Christmas. 470 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,987 - That's a holiday in December. - Oh. 471 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:27,283 Have you noticed the hallways? Not a decoration, not a twinkle light, 472 00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:31,078 not an expression of the joy kids are supposed to be feeling. 473 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:34,999 - What kind of school is this? - A public school. 474 00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:39,962 A top-rated public school. That takes effort. And money. 475 00:30:40,047 --> 00:30:43,049 Spending any of that money on holiday decorations 476 00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:45,510 would take away from the things that truly matter. 477 00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,720 Forgive me, but I think holiday cheer really matters. 478 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:50,598 What are we going to do? We are worried... 479 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:54,101 Let me handle this. You know what you did is wrong. Right? 480 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:56,103 - I guess so. - There's no guessing. 481 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:58,773 Guessing is gone. It was wrong what you did. 482 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,025 And you're not gonna do it again. Promise me. 483 00:31:01,777 --> 00:31:03,361 - Okay. - There you go. 484 00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:06,364 He won't do it again. Meeting is adjourned. 485 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,866 It most certainly is not! Charlie... 486 00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:11,369 You know what else? Here's a little donation. 487 00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:12,912 Why don't you buy yourself a wreath? 488 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:19,627 I am Santa Claus. Boo! (LAUGHS) 489 00:31:20,629 --> 00:31:23,589 Yeah. No, no, I think that this is gonna work. 490 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:25,967 Good job, Curtis. 491 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:29,387 Would it kill you to give a wholehearted compliment? 492 00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:30,680 Ho, ho, ho. 493 00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:32,890 - Ho, ho, ho. - Santa? 494 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:38,437 - I need you to look at this. - All right! 495 00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,898 Nice! 496 00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:42,650 No. I mean, I need you to read it. 497 00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:45,528 Well, let's try to be specific, shall we? 498 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:49,407 I'll take a look at it over at my desk. 499 00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:53,578 - How does he know where it is? - I programed him that way. 500 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,788 He has most of Santa's memories. 501 00:31:56,707 --> 00:32:00,209 Okay, we need you to study everything that's in that book 502 00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:03,629 because it is the key to being Santa. 503 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:07,842 Right! I'll memorize everything in the book. 504 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,678 I'll follow all the rules. 505 00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:14,473 'Cause rules are very important! 506 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,518 - I like this guy. - I can barely read this. 507 00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,020 Hi, Santa. 508 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,941 - Hi. - Oh. You look... 509 00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,444 Like he got a good night's sleep. 510 00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:33,534 Like you got a very good night's sleep. 511 00:32:34,328 --> 00:32:36,162 How about a nice chocolatey cocoa? 512 00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:54,347 - Careful, it's hot. - Of course it is. 513 00:33:01,772 --> 00:33:02,897 (GULPING) 514 00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:10,404 Ah! 515 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,909 Whoa! 516 00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,080 That's delicious! I like cocoa! 517 00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:21,791 Cocoa's superior refreshment! (LAUGHS) 518 00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:25,419 Get me some more cocoa! Whoo! 519 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,088 Right away, Santa. 520 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:28,923 Oh! Whoa! 521 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:31,926 I think Santa feels a little buzz! 522 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:34,261 Whoo! 523 00:33:35,764 --> 00:33:38,599 Let me get this straight. You were de-Santified? 524 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:42,436 And you only have 27 days to find a wife or you're out? 525 00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:44,855 Yeah. 526 00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:47,525 What are you gonna do? We dated for three years 527 00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:49,944 before you got up the courage to propose. 528 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:53,197 That's a pretty serious commitment issue, isn't it? 529 00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:56,158 Yes, Sigmund. I was afraid I'd mess up the first time. 530 00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,619 - I'm more afraid now. - Dad, you can't give up. 531 00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:00,496 There's never been a better Santa. 532 00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:02,164 I appreciate that. 533 00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:05,376 It's for the best. If I had spent more time with you, 534 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,837 you'd spend less time in the spray paint industry. 535 00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:10,673 Don't do that to yourself. You have been a great dad. 536 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:13,217 And being Santa has made you an even better man. 537 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,553 I'm gonna go out on an emotional limb. 538 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,346 Don't try to make me cry. 539 00:34:17,431 --> 00:34:21,392 Believe it or not, you have a great capacity for love. 540 00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:25,479 I know you can find someone wonderful to spend the rest of your life with. 541 00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:29,233 Don't let the facts that you have no time, no prospects 542 00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:32,319 and a paralyzing fear of intimacy get you down. 543 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:33,904 Hmm. 544 00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:36,157 Have you ever helped anyone? Ever? 545 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:39,577 You know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna look through my phone book 546 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,413 and see who's still single out there and not too bitter. 547 00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:45,791 There's divorced moms at school who'll go out with anybody. 548 00:34:45,876 --> 00:34:49,503 As promising as this sounds, I don't need help with this area. 549 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:53,007 Your old man was a high-school legend. A double letterman. 550 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,842 I had a Mustang. 551 00:34:55,177 --> 00:34:56,761 So as far as dating goes, 552 00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:01,015 I think if anybody can stir up the old mojo, it would be moi. 553 00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:03,809 Come on! I don't think there's a woman out there 554 00:35:03,894 --> 00:35:05,895 that doesn't want a piece of this. 555 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:12,193 - LUCY: Hi, Mom! - Lucy! 556 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,696 - Uncle Scott! - How's my little sweet pea? 557 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,741 Oh, I haven't seen you in a long time. 558 00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:23,370 - Tell me what's been happenin'. - I learned to swim underwater. 559 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,499 - And I'm not afraid! - That's amazing! 560 00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:30,711 Maybe we'll have to go to the mall and get some ice cream. 561 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:31,796 (GASPS) 562 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,964 - Plenty of women at the mall. - Charlie! 563 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:38,427 BERNARD: Santa, look forward and put on a smiley face. 564 00:35:38,512 --> 00:35:39,720 Say hello to your elves. 565 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,224 Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job! 566 00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:47,895 Santa, when you said the bigger wheels, is this what you meant? 567 00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:52,066 Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job! 568 00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:55,820 You're doing great. Dial it down on the ho-ho-ho's, 569 00:35:55,904 --> 00:35:57,696 but otherwise, you're gold. 570 00:35:57,781 --> 00:35:59,657 Ho, ho, ho! 571 00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:03,410 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! 572 00:36:05,038 --> 00:36:08,999 Why don't you just say it? "You were right, Curtis. I was wrong." 573 00:36:09,084 --> 00:36:11,252 Okay, okay, I admit it. 574 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,754 They're happy. They're working hard. 575 00:36:14,256 --> 00:36:16,131 Everything's going to be fine. 576 00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:18,300 This book is very interesting reading. 577 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:21,178 There's a lot of rules they're not following. 578 00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:23,264 That's what I've been saying all along. 579 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:26,684 Things have gotten a little too sloppy around here. 580 00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:31,230 Yes! Sloppiness means mistakes. Mistakes aren't a good thing! 581 00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:36,318 I might have to make some changes here. 582 00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:38,612 - What do you have in mind? - Let me show you. 583 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,782 There's many things. Look here... 584 00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:46,453 Neil, are you sure you don't have any other clothes I can borrow? 585 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:49,206 I mean, the idea tonight is to attract a woman. 586 00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:52,334 - What are you talking about? - I look like a limesicle. 587 00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,461 I think it makes you look hot. 588 00:36:54,671 --> 00:36:57,131 What do you think, Laura? Honestly, what do you think? Huh? 589 00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:58,632 Doesn't he look hot, Laura? 590 00:36:59,509 --> 00:37:02,011 I think it's what's inside that really counts. 591 00:37:02,596 --> 00:37:04,388 - Thought you liked the sweater. - We'll talk later. 592 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,807 I'm off. I may need to borrow a car. 593 00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:09,560 I'm parked behind Neil. The minivan, I just had it washed. 594 00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:12,730 The minivan. 595 00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:15,774 Okay, then. Well, wish me luck. 596 00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:18,903 I got a needlepoint sweater and a minivan. 597 00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:20,404 (SIGHS) 598 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:21,822 See ya in about eight minutes. 599 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:23,574 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 600 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,335 Scott? Hey. 601 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:35,669 - Tracy! - Yes! 602 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,256 - It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 603 00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:42,676 - Here, why don't you sit down? - Oh, thank you. 604 00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,012 Thank you very much. (CHUCKLES) 605 00:37:48,058 --> 00:37:49,058 (SIGHS) 606 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:51,185 So, I'm so glad we finally got to do this. 607 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,520 - I'm pretty nervous. - Oh. Are you? (LAUGHS) 608 00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,940 Laura says we have a lot in common. 609 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,317 I hear that you love this time of year also? 610 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,611 It's my favorite time of year and my busiest time of year. 611 00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:03,739 - Whoa. Look at the sweater! - Yeah! (LAUGHS) 612 00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:07,576 Some sweater. Like I should talk! (CHUCKLES) 613 00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:10,537 I also have my Christmas charm bracelet. 614 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:14,083 - That's beautiful. Look at 'em! - Yeah. 615 00:38:14,376 --> 00:38:16,669 I wear it all year long just to keep the spirit alive. 616 00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:21,090 That's gorgeous. A little teddy bear and packages. That's very nice. 617 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:27,638 - So what work do you do? - I'm in the toy business. 618 00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:29,640 - No way! - Way! 619 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,225 (BOTH LAUGHING) 620 00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,771 - That sounds so creative. - I love it. 621 00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:38,565 - I love creative people. - Yeah? 622 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,150 Yeah. 623 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:44,905 So what do you do? 624 00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:47,700 I'm hoping someday to break into the music business. 625 00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:50,244 - As a singer-songwriter. - No way! 626 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,495 Way! 627 00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:52,913 (BOTH LAUGHING) 628 00:38:53,373 --> 00:38:55,791 - What's your favorite music? - Country-western. 629 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,002 - (ENTHUSIASTICALLY) Oh! - Yeah. 630 00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586 - Do you like Shania Twain? - Yeah! 631 00:39:01,423 --> 00:39:05,426 (SINGING) The best thing about singing at Christmas 632 00:39:05,802 --> 00:39:08,637 Is the cocoa, caroling and fun 633 00:39:08,722 --> 00:39:09,805 - You know that one? - I know that song. 634 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,056 Whoah-oh-oh! 635 00:39:11,141 --> 00:39:12,850 Go totally yuletide 636 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:14,560 Takin' a sleigh ride 637 00:39:14,644 --> 00:39:15,644 You're good. 638 00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:17,438 Santa shirts, reindeer skirts 639 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,522 Whoah-oh-oh! 640 00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:19,690 Hey! 641 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:23,527 (OFF-KEY) Watchin' the windows fog drinkin' some eggnog 642 00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:24,862 That's good. 643 00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:26,196 Whoah-oh-oh! 644 00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:28,115 Fill up a stocking 645 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,117 Spray on some flocking 646 00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:33,120 (SHOUTS) Put up a tree! Sports on TV! 647 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:35,164 (NASALLY) Uh, whoah-oh-oh 648 00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:39,877 I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel 649 00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:41,879 Ah, ah, ah, ah 650 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:43,130 Man! 651 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,424 I feel like some Christmas 652 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:50,345 Oh-oh, wow wow wow! 653 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:55,768 (WHISTLES) 654 00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:58,687 Whew! 655 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,900 You hated it? 656 00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,485 It kind of scared me a little bit. 657 00:40:06,279 --> 00:40:08,489 No, I just. I... 658 00:40:08,615 --> 00:40:11,784 I just... I wasn't prepared for a performance, so if I... 659 00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:15,704 I put myself out and that was not an easy thing to do. 660 00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:18,082 If you can't support a woman's ambition, 661 00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:20,501 then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date. 662 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:23,837 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 663 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,590 - Dad? - Hey, sport. 664 00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:28,425 How'd it go? 665 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,843 Well... 666 00:40:31,054 --> 00:40:34,431 Let's just say I'm not bookin' a church yet. 667 00:40:34,516 --> 00:40:35,891 (CHUCKLES) 668 00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:39,186 Boy, I'll tell ya, women are hard to figure out. 669 00:40:39,354 --> 00:40:42,272 - Tell me about it. - You too, huh? Girl trouble? 670 00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:46,235 - Well, there's this one girl. - Mmm. 671 00:40:46,319 --> 00:40:49,363 We just used to be friends and hang out at the mall and stuff. 672 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,116 Then one day, I looked at her, 673 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,701 and I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. 674 00:40:55,495 --> 00:40:58,997 I started worrying about what to wear and what my hair looked like. 675 00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,668 - And then I wanted to kiss her. - (GASPS) 676 00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:06,255 How did she do that? 677 00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,257 I don't know. But they all can do that. 678 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:13,512 Look at that. The snow globe! 679 00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:17,641 This is so beautiful. I remember when Bernard gave this to you. 680 00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:19,726 He said all I have to do to see you is shake it. 681 00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:24,273 Now, all you have to do is yell down the hall. 682 00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:26,400 And I'm there whenever you need me. 683 00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:28,735 Yeah. 684 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:32,281 I'm a little tired, Dad. I'll see you in the morning. 685 00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:36,660 Okay. 686 00:41:36,953 --> 00:41:38,704 - Good night. - Night. 687 00:41:39,873 --> 00:41:42,291 Can you turn the light off, please? 688 00:41:42,375 --> 00:41:44,668 Yeah, 'cause it's such a big reach for you! 689 00:41:48,631 --> 00:41:50,090 (GRUMBLING) 690 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,596 What do you mean it's not straight? 691 00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:57,431 (GABBLES) 692 00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:00,601 - Sure, it's straight. - Uh-uh. 693 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:02,269 Maybe your head's crooked. 694 00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,146 (GABBLES) 695 00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:07,608 - Prancer's not this picky. - COMET: Yes, he is. 696 00:42:08,151 --> 00:42:10,235 - Hi, Comet. - Hi! 697 00:42:13,114 --> 00:42:14,990 I've got something for you. 698 00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:17,868 Hey, Lucy, what have you got there? 699 00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:21,830 Careful with the sweets. He tends to overeat. 700 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,666 Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus? 701 00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:27,419 What? Why would you ask me something like that? 702 00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:30,422 'Cause you have a reindeer, and only Santa has reindeer. 703 00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:33,008 Nonsense. A lot of people have reindeer. 704 00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:34,134 Name five. 705 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:35,719 (CHUCKLES) 706 00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:41,391 Well, most of them live in Finland. I can't pronounce their names. 707 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:48,148 Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets. 708 00:42:49,025 --> 00:42:52,236 Well, I think you're very smart. 709 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:54,529 (GIGGLING) 710 00:42:57,325 --> 00:42:59,993 Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate. 711 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:03,580 Oh, really? This morning he ate a bowl of waxed fruit. 712 00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:05,040 Wait a minute. 713 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,834 I need the naughty-and-nice list. 714 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,127 No. 715 00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:11,588 It says I'm supposed to check it twice. 716 00:43:11,673 --> 00:43:14,424 - Santa already checked it. - No, I didn't. 717 00:43:14,676 --> 00:43:18,011 - The real Santa. - I am the real Santa! 718 00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:20,055 - I'm sorry? - I'm in charge here. 719 00:43:20,139 --> 00:43:22,224 - What? - I check the list twice. 720 00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:24,142 That's the rule. I like the rules. 721 00:43:24,227 --> 00:43:27,104 - You know how I feel. - You're misunderstanding. 722 00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:30,440 No, I'm the rule-maker. I like the rules. Santa likes rules. 723 00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:33,277 I've got a good idea. How about we have some fun? 724 00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:34,528 Huh? 725 00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,697 - It's good to have fun. - Right. 726 00:43:36,864 --> 00:43:39,950 Santa, look over there. See those elves? 727 00:43:40,034 --> 00:43:42,619 Go ahead. Go play some tinsel football. 728 00:43:42,704 --> 00:43:44,037 Break! 729 00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:49,042 - What's the object of tinsel football? - Come on down. 730 00:43:50,545 --> 00:43:52,713 If you don't have the ball, get it. 731 00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:54,881 If you have the ball, run to the end zone. 732 00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:03,015 Okay, I'll go get the football. 733 00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,226 Ready, hike! 734 00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:09,896 (BLOODCURDLING CRY) 735 00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:15,944 I've got the ball. What are you gonna do? Who's gonna stop me? 736 00:44:16,029 --> 00:44:17,279 Come on! 737 00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:18,697 This is a lot of fun! 738 00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:20,365 (GROANING) 739 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:25,996 Oh, so sorry! (LAUGHS) 740 00:44:35,381 --> 00:44:36,882 (PLASTICKY SQUEAKING) 741 00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:43,972 Come here! Stop! Slow down when I'm talking to you! 742 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,100 Come here, you! Come on. (YELLS) 743 00:44:51,898 --> 00:44:53,607 He's headed east toward the main entrance! 744 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:03,200 Hello, Charlie. 745 00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,659 (PANTING) 746 00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:07,913 - Hello, Principal Newman. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 747 00:45:09,123 --> 00:45:10,707 CAROL: Are Laura and Neil on their way? 748 00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:12,709 No, I volunteered to go solo. 749 00:45:13,002 --> 00:45:14,628 You look... 750 00:45:14,962 --> 00:45:17,214 You've lost weight. Feeling all right? 751 00:45:17,298 --> 00:45:19,299 I was until I got this phone call. 752 00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:30,185 Charlie, you promised you weren't gonna do this again. 753 00:45:30,603 --> 00:45:33,188 What's the matter with you? I'm gonna have to punish ya. 754 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,565 I'll ground him for two months. 755 00:45:35,650 --> 00:45:38,193 - I thought you were on my side! - I'll go one better. 756 00:45:38,277 --> 00:45:40,278 - You're suspended. - But, Dad! 757 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:44,074 I'm as upset about this as you, but isn't there a punishment 758 00:45:44,158 --> 00:45:45,742 that doesn't mean takin' him out of school? 759 00:45:45,827 --> 00:45:47,953 - What did you have in mind? - We could... 760 00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,414 (STUTTERING) 761 00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,499 Community service? 762 00:45:53,376 --> 00:45:54,626 Hah. 763 00:45:54,836 --> 00:45:56,837 That's not a bad idea. 764 00:45:59,173 --> 00:46:02,759 Okay, Charlie. I want you to start by cleaning up this wall. 765 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,387 I want everything off of there by tonight. 766 00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:09,474 And then clean off every mark off every locker in this hallway. 767 00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:12,102 - Every one? - Do as she says, Charlie. 768 00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,396 But I have homework, tests to study for. 769 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,983 Not my problem. I have a detention group on Saturday. 770 00:46:18,067 --> 00:46:20,569 So we will all get together at the rec center 771 00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:22,612 and scrape off graffiti at 8:00 a.m. 772 00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:24,781 - See you both there. - You say both of us? 773 00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:28,285 (LAUGHS) No, I'm very busy. I do a lot of other community service. 774 00:46:28,369 --> 00:46:31,455 That's good. You just got yourself elected parent rep. 775 00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:34,291 And, Charlie, we'll talk about the suspension. 776 00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:38,462 (SIGHS) 777 00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:57,314 Curtis, what is he doing in the naughty-and-nice center? 778 00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:02,652 - What's going on? - I'm checking the naughty-nice list. 779 00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:05,614 - I'm checking it twice. - I already told you! 780 00:47:07,408 --> 00:47:09,034 It's been checked. Don't worry. 781 00:47:09,118 --> 00:47:13,330 I do worry. There's a lot of mistakes. I'll give you a big fat for instance! 782 00:47:13,456 --> 00:47:16,541 In Denmark, there's a guy named Sven Halstrom right here. 783 00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:20,587 He's a Dane. He was wiping his nose on his sister's shirt. 784 00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:24,799 Yuk! That's not very nice! And yet, he's on the nice list. 785 00:47:25,092 --> 00:47:28,303 We try to cut most children slack this time of year. 786 00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:32,516 I don't understand that! Kids are misbehaving everywhere. 787 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,143 They're running with scissors. They're sticky. 788 00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:37,938 "I'm not gonna stop this car!" "No, we're not there yet!" 789 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:40,649 "Brush your teeth!" "Pick up those clothes!" 790 00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:42,734 It goes on and on. 791 00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:46,446 But they're just kids! Everybody misbehaves some time. 792 00:47:46,531 --> 00:47:49,407 But according to The Santa Handbook, 793 00:47:49,784 --> 00:47:53,036 naughty kids get lumps of coal in their stockings. Right? 794 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,497 We will make stockings. 795 00:47:55,581 --> 00:47:59,834 In my opinion, they should all get coal in their stockings. 796 00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:02,629 - Don't you? - No! That's not how it works! 797 00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:05,590 Get me the naughty-nice list. Get me every list! 798 00:48:05,675 --> 00:48:08,301 Get me everything. 799 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,470 (RAP SONG PLAYING) 800 00:48:17,979 --> 00:48:20,272 Mr. O'Reilly, Mr. Leary. 801 00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,649 You in charge of the gangbangers? 802 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:24,734 They're students, actually, and yes. 803 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,028 Keep 'em away from the car. It's new. 804 00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,489 I don't need some delinquent kids scratchin' it up. 805 00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:33,243 They're not delinquents. And don't worry about your car. 806 00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:36,246 I'd worry about your legs in those shorts. 807 00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:38,373 I thought only swimmers shaved their legs! 808 00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:41,835 - Good morning. - Good morning. 809 00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:44,921 - Brought you coffee. - Thank you. 810 00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:49,593 - So you have a nice-guy side. - I'm a man of many sides. 811 00:48:49,802 --> 00:48:52,679 I'm a puzzle. I'm a Rubik's Cube with pants. 812 00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:55,348 - (LAUGHS) - A laugh! Actual laugh. 813 00:48:55,433 --> 00:48:58,143 - Dad, it doesn't come off. - It's not supposed to come off. 814 00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:00,604 Hence, you've got to be careful where you put it. 815 00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:03,815 Hence, tagging is serious. Hence, your presence here. 816 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:08,028 Don't say "hence" anymore, Dad. It's really annoying. 817 00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:10,447 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 818 00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:12,324 Nicely done! 819 00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:15,744 How do you do it? I have trouble with one. You have hundreds. 820 00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:20,248 - Hi. - Hi. 821 00:49:21,042 --> 00:49:23,543 - I was really good this year. - (CHUCKLES) 822 00:49:24,003 --> 00:49:27,547 Is that so? Are you absolutely sure about that, Pamela? 823 00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:30,842 I want a doll house and a swimming pool. 824 00:49:31,218 --> 00:49:32,594 A swimming pool? 825 00:49:32,678 --> 00:49:34,888 I'm sorry. She insisted on talking to you. 826 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,057 - It's not a problem. - Okay. 827 00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:41,895 I'll tell you what. If you can promise me you'll be good, 828 00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:45,023 I can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas. 829 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:47,609 - Okay! Yeah! - (LAUGHS) Come on. 830 00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:57,160 Kids get so nutty this time of year. 831 00:49:57,995 --> 00:50:00,580 - Is she a neighbor? - No. 832 00:50:00,665 --> 00:50:02,290 How did you know her name? 833 00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:04,918 The necklace, it said Pamela on it. 834 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,796 Oh. I guess I missed that. I'm gonna go check on this group. 835 00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:15,845 You cost me, Pamela. 836 00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:21,893 I just couldn't sleep thinking about all those rules. 837 00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:24,688 Am I wrong? Am I right? Does it matter? 838 00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:27,440 Couldn't have been the three gallons of cocoa I had! 839 00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,944 But you understand rules, don't you? You're highly decorated. 840 00:50:31,570 --> 00:50:34,197 And look at that face. There you go. 841 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,533 There's a face only a mom would like. 842 00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:39,619 I don't have a mom, so I wouldn't know about that. 843 00:50:39,829 --> 00:50:42,414 Now, it's time for the big event. 844 00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:44,791 Guess what? 845 00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,961 Son, it's showtime! 846 00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:50,755 You're in the spotlight. Get bigger with it. 847 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,842 It's your big chance. I need a little help. 848 00:50:53,926 --> 00:50:57,053 I need a little muscle. I need a little nudge. 849 00:50:57,138 --> 00:50:59,556 Let's call yourself the little nudge! 850 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:03,560 This won't hurt, except for the electric shock through you. 851 00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:05,311 See ya on the other side! 852 00:51:27,877 --> 00:51:30,086 - Oh. Hi. - Hi. 853 00:51:30,671 --> 00:51:33,173 It looks like you're going out. Sorry. I should have called. 854 00:51:33,257 --> 00:51:35,091 No, it's okay. Come in. 855 00:51:35,176 --> 00:51:36,342 - You sure? - Uh-huh. 856 00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:44,809 - Is there a problem? - No, no. I just... 857 00:51:44,894 --> 00:51:46,644 I wondered if... 858 00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:49,689 If you would... (STAMMERS) 859 00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:53,026 Do you want to go get some noodles? 860 00:51:55,362 --> 00:51:56,613 Or pie? 861 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,491 But I don't want to keep you from your date, so... 862 00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:02,368 Oh, it's not a date. It's the faculty Christmas party. 863 00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:03,828 Oh. 864 00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:07,165 Is that your idea of a night on the town? 865 00:52:07,249 --> 00:52:08,458 Noodles and pie? (GIGGLES) 866 00:52:09,710 --> 00:52:12,504 - Yes. What would be your idea? - Pizza and a movie. 867 00:52:12,588 --> 00:52:14,297 - Thick or thin crust? - Thin. 868 00:52:14,590 --> 00:52:15,799 Good! Movie? 869 00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:18,968 Two for the Road. Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney. 870 00:52:19,053 --> 00:52:22,347 Movie's okay, but the car was the star. '53 MG TD. 871 00:52:22,431 --> 00:52:24,766 Racing green, wire wheels. Beautiful. 872 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:28,144 I'm impressed. That is a great car. My favorite car. 873 00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,104 Didn't like driving 'em in the rain. 874 00:52:30,189 --> 00:52:33,358 You have to push it to start it. Other than that, it's perfect. 875 00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:35,485 It's perfect, though. 876 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:42,575 - I could drive you to your party. - That would be great. 877 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,328 Except for, eventually, I'm going to have to get home. 878 00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:48,748 Well, I could pick you up. 879 00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:51,918 So you're going to drop me off, then come back and pick me up? 880 00:52:53,128 --> 00:52:54,963 - Yeah. - Why don't you just stay? 881 00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:57,382 - All right, I'll stay. - I'll get my coat. 882 00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:00,885 So, Mr. Andretti, what are you driving? 883 00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:03,263 You know, I think you're gonna like it. 884 00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:19,070 (LAUGHS) 885 00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:26,828 (HOOVES CLOPPING) 886 00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:37,547 CAROL: Mind if I ask you something personal? 887 00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:38,631 Please. 888 00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:41,259 - You look really different. - The weight. 889 00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:45,930 It's Indian teas and it's a lot of salves and stuff. It's... 890 00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:48,099 - Do you want some cocoa? - Yes. 891 00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:51,477 Cocoa. You have thought of everything. 892 00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:54,898 Well, this time of year, I really shine. 893 00:53:55,316 --> 00:53:57,567 Yeah, I can't wait till it's over, though. 894 00:53:57,985 --> 00:53:59,903 Streets are crowded, the malls are jammed, 895 00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:02,989 people max out their credit cards... It's noisy. 896 00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:04,532 When did you become such a cynic? 897 00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:06,618 Oh. 898 00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:08,536 I don't know. 899 00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:11,039 I used to love Christmas, too. 900 00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:14,584 It was the only day that my parents didn't fight. 901 00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:17,337 - Oh. - Oh. 902 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:20,256 They were at each other all the time. 903 00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:24,218 But on Christmas, they tried to make the holiday special. 904 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:27,805 My dad went through this charade so I'd believe in Santa Claus. 905 00:54:27,890 --> 00:54:31,434 He put a cot by the fireplace so Santa could take a nap... 906 00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:33,186 Like he has time to take a nap! 907 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:37,607 Consider the amount of gifts he would have to deliver. 908 00:54:37,691 --> 00:54:40,068 Why would he nap? He would probably need some coffee. 909 00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:43,863 Yeah. And there was cocoa and cookies. 910 00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:47,075 And carrots for the reindeer. 911 00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:49,661 That's a good gesture. The reindeer love carrots. 912 00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,955 And the thought is important to them, too. 913 00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:57,001 Yeah. And I'd wake up, and the cocoa and cookies would be gone, 914 00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:59,629 and the cot would be mussed and the carrots gnawed. 915 00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:04,425 They swallow them. If they're fresh, they'll eat 'em like that. 916 00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:06,302 They love red bell peppers, too. 917 00:55:06,387 --> 00:55:08,471 You know the stories. If you read... 918 00:55:08,847 --> 00:55:10,139 (LAUGHING) 919 00:55:10,557 --> 00:55:14,227 And there would be incredible presents under the tree. 920 00:55:14,561 --> 00:55:18,064 One year was a rocking horse, and I named it Harvey. 921 00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:21,234 And the next year was a little red wagon, 922 00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:24,320 which I made a lemonade stand, which was great. 923 00:55:24,405 --> 00:55:26,906 And the last year was... 924 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:31,077 It was just a Baby Doll. She was pink and soft and beautiful. 925 00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:35,665 - Beautiful? - Yes. 926 00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:40,837 I believed in Santa so much I'd get in fights at school 927 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:43,339 with kids who tried to tell me that he didn't exist. 928 00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:45,591 And one day, I came home with a bloody nose. 929 00:55:46,301 --> 00:55:49,721 That's when my parents decided to tell me to 930 00:55:49,805 --> 00:55:51,597 grow up. 931 00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:53,725 I was devastated. 932 00:55:55,728 --> 00:55:58,980 Good, Carol! This is great sleigh-riding conversation! 933 00:55:59,064 --> 00:56:01,190 - I'm a terrible sleigh-riding... - It's fine conversation. 934 00:56:03,027 --> 00:56:05,695 A person just wants something to believe in, you know? 935 00:56:06,613 --> 00:56:09,115 Yes, I know. Yes, I know. 936 00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:12,660 Okay, we have cocoa. 937 00:56:12,745 --> 00:56:15,371 We have a blanket. We have a horse-drawn sleigh. 938 00:56:15,456 --> 00:56:17,290 The only thing that's... 939 00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:21,586 - What? - (LAUGHS) 940 00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:23,296 - It's snowing. - Oh. 941 00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,048 As if by magic. 942 00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:28,134 That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing! 943 00:56:28,218 --> 00:56:29,969 (DELIGHTED LAUGH) 944 00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:39,479 It's been a blue 945 00:56:40,606 --> 00:56:43,483 Holiday 946 00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:49,197 Since you've been gone 947 00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:55,036 Oh, my darling 948 00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:58,331 Won't you 949 00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:03,127 Hurry, hurry home 950 00:57:03,212 --> 00:57:08,716 It's been a blue 951 00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:12,553 Holiday 952 00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:14,305 I owe you one. 953 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,517 It's a great party. 954 00:57:18,268 --> 00:57:20,520 Look. That guy moved. 955 00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:24,273 - Would you excuse me? - Mmm-hmm. 956 00:57:24,650 --> 00:57:26,567 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 957 00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:32,698 (FEEDBACK) 958 00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:35,451 (ALL MURMURING) 959 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:45,253 Could I have your attention? Your attention, please! 960 00:57:46,213 --> 00:57:50,925 There we go. Hi. I'm Scott Calvin and I just thought I'd step up here and... 961 00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:55,388 And say the word that we've all been longing to hear. 962 00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,640 Fire! 963 00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:04,605 Okay. What I think, folks, is that a lot of you have forgotten 964 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:07,233 what the true spirit of Christmas is all about. 965 00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:11,320 If you're not willing to dance or laugh or flirt 966 00:58:11,405 --> 00:58:14,657 or risk the buffet, I don't think we have much choice. 967 00:58:15,284 --> 00:58:18,661 So before the choir gets out here, I say we rock this house 968 00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:20,788 - with a secret Santa! Huh? - Oh. 969 00:58:22,249 --> 00:58:24,250 Carol, happy, happy Christmas! 970 00:58:24,376 --> 00:58:26,752 I think they're just decorations for the carolers. 971 00:58:26,837 --> 00:58:28,045 Ah. 972 00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:30,965 She's afraid these are decorations for the caroling. 973 00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:33,843 I think Carol is right about the caroling! 974 00:58:34,094 --> 00:58:37,763 I'm talking about the packages that (WHISPERS) are backstage. 975 00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:39,932 There aren't any packages backstage. 976 00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:41,726 Oh, there's none back there. 977 00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:45,897 (SIGHS) So I was mistaken when I saw this bag of gifts. 978 00:58:45,981 --> 00:58:48,316 Maybe I'm wrong, but it sure looks like a bag of gifts. 979 00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:51,611 Oh, it's heavy like a bag of gifts. 980 00:58:52,321 --> 00:58:54,947 Look at this! What's in here? 981 00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:00,161 It's very heavy, very heavy. 982 00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:03,664 John Pierce. 983 00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:06,292 Doesn't your mom call you JJ? 984 00:59:08,837 --> 00:59:10,004 Merry Christmas, JJ. 985 00:59:20,515 --> 00:59:22,516 No way. 986 00:59:23,810 --> 00:59:26,062 This is Toss Across! 987 00:59:26,146 --> 00:59:28,356 I used to love this when I was a kid! 988 00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:31,150 But I never told anybody. 989 00:59:31,401 --> 00:59:33,819 Where did... Who did this? 990 00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:37,323 Grace Kim. 991 00:59:39,326 --> 00:59:41,285 Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas. 992 00:59:41,370 --> 00:59:42,787 - Thank you. - Tom Astle. 993 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:44,997 - Me! Sorry, Gordon. - Hey! 994 00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:47,541 - Haven't changed a bit! - Gee, thanks. 995 00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:49,710 - Lizzy Garcia. - Here. 996 00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:53,506 - There. Merry Christmas. - Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots! 997 00:59:53,757 --> 00:59:56,092 Mint condition! This is incredible! 998 00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:58,344 The Holly Hobbie Oven! 999 01:00:02,516 --> 01:00:04,183 Come on up and get the rest of your presents. 1000 01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:05,434 (CLAMORING) 1001 01:00:05,978 --> 01:00:07,687 - Marie? - Here! 1002 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:11,023 There she is. Katie. Jerry. 1003 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,484 - Here! - Cory. Cory? 1004 01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:15,027 Here! 1005 01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:20,574 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 1006 01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:21,826 (EXCLAIMS) 1007 01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:23,077 (LAUGHING) 1008 01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:31,335 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 1009 01:00:42,389 --> 01:00:43,889 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1010 01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:46,851 Oh! 1011 01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:58,237 - Carl, you need a net. - Not me! 1012 01:00:59,531 --> 01:01:01,532 This is great. (LAUGHS) 1013 01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:06,037 Hey, party animal, you want to play? 1014 01:01:06,121 --> 01:01:08,998 - I can't figure it out. - It's beanbag tic-tac-toe. 1015 01:01:09,082 --> 01:01:11,334 No, I mean the secret Santa thing. 1016 01:01:11,501 --> 01:01:14,378 Someone tracked down all those wonderful antique toys. 1017 01:01:14,463 --> 01:01:16,839 Probably someone who knows his way around eBay. 1018 01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,341 - Yeah. - Yep. 1019 01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,385 It was you. I know it was you. 1020 01:01:21,470 --> 01:01:23,554 I just can't figure out... How did you do it? 1021 01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:26,932 Sometimes you don't need to know all the answers. 1022 01:01:27,642 --> 01:01:29,185 Speaking of which... 1023 01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:32,063 Even the principal needs a Christmas gift. 1024 01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:33,606 Merry Christmas. 1025 01:01:34,232 --> 01:01:36,108 Come on, open it. Rip it open. 1026 01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,569 Come on. We're not gonna save the paper. 1027 01:02:02,344 --> 01:02:04,261 It's Baby Doll. 1028 01:02:10,811 --> 01:02:11,977 (VOICE BREAKS) Come here. 1029 01:02:14,147 --> 01:02:16,065 CAROL: Did you call the office? SCOTT: No. 1030 01:02:16,149 --> 01:02:18,109 - Did they call you? - It's not like that. 1031 01:02:18,193 --> 01:02:20,903 - Did you investigate us? (LAUGHS) - No, I wouldn't do that. 1032 01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:24,865 Did you... I told you about Baby Doll an hour ago and... 1033 01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:27,243 Did you send someone to... 1034 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:29,078 - No. - No. 1035 01:02:29,371 --> 01:02:32,873 Well... I don't know how you did it. 1036 01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:35,835 It's like some kind of magic. 1037 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:38,963 Yeah, sort of like some kind of magic. 1038 01:02:39,047 --> 01:02:43,092 And pretty much the last that I have. 1039 01:02:43,343 --> 01:02:46,387 What? Well, what... You know what? 1040 01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:47,847 (CHUCKLING) 1041 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:49,849 I don't want to know. 1042 01:02:50,142 --> 01:02:53,853 What you did in there tonight for everyone was wonderful. 1043 01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:55,146 Thank you. 1044 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:02,361 I'm sorry. 1045 01:03:03,572 --> 01:03:05,489 I shouldn't have done that. 1046 01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:09,702 - Is that okay? - Yeah. 1047 01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:15,374 Got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. 1048 01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:18,502 I'm... 1049 01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:22,882 I'm not real good at this. 1050 01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:43,569 Where did that come from? 1051 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,321 I don't know. 1052 01:03:58,752 --> 01:04:00,753 Hi! Merry Christmas! 1053 01:04:01,087 --> 01:04:03,047 Ho, ho, ho! 1054 01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:09,595 (MACHINES STOP) 1055 01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:11,138 Can I have your attention? 1056 01:04:12,474 --> 01:04:15,309 Stop the work, please. Everybody, stop the work. 1057 01:04:15,435 --> 01:04:17,269 - Merry Christmas! - (QUACKS) 1058 01:04:17,646 --> 01:04:20,231 That's nice. I have a little announcement to make. 1059 01:04:21,441 --> 01:04:23,734 From this moment forward, we're not gonna make any more toys. 1060 01:04:23,944 --> 01:04:25,319 (ALL MURMURING) 1061 01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:28,447 The children of the world don't deserve presents. 1062 01:04:28,532 --> 01:04:30,699 They're running rampant with naughtiness. 1063 01:04:30,784 --> 01:04:33,786 This Christmas, we're gonna give those greedy kids 1064 01:04:33,870 --> 01:04:36,789 exactly what they deserve. 1065 01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:42,753 A beautiful, high-quality yet low-sulfur variety of coal! 1066 01:04:43,088 --> 01:04:44,672 (UPROAR) 1067 01:04:45,924 --> 01:04:47,132 Quiet! 1068 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:52,513 We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead. 1069 01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:56,100 And just to make sure that that happens... 1070 01:04:56,977 --> 01:04:58,519 Thank you, sweetie. 1071 01:04:58,895 --> 01:04:59,895 (CHUCKLES) 1072 01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:03,440 I hate to blow my own horn. 1073 01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:05,442 (HORN SOUNDS) 1074 01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:09,989 (GASPS) 1075 01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:18,163 Stay where you are! Don't be afraid! 1076 01:05:23,086 --> 01:05:24,503 Back! Back! 1077 01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:27,756 I was up late, couldn't sleep. 1078 01:05:27,841 --> 01:05:29,967 Milk wouldn't do it, cocoa is a little sweet, 1079 01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:33,012 so I decided to make an army of toy soldiers. 1080 01:05:34,681 --> 01:05:37,433 They don't have a good sense of humor like me. 1081 01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:44,440 I would do what they ask you. Which is what I'm going to tell you! 1082 01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:47,610 Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa! 1083 01:05:48,028 --> 01:05:50,029 - He's not Santa? - BERNARD: He's a toy! 1084 01:05:50,822 --> 01:05:54,116 He has a rubber face and a plastic tushy! 1085 01:05:54,618 --> 01:05:56,327 (PLASTICKY SQUEAKING) 1086 01:05:57,495 --> 01:06:00,789 Trust me! Don't let him ruin Christmas! 1087 01:06:00,874 --> 01:06:03,459 Thank you for those kind words, Bernard! 1088 01:06:03,668 --> 01:06:06,754 Well, now that we all have an understanding, 1089 01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:11,592 have a joyous and merry Christmas! 1090 01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,931 Merry Christmas! 1091 01:06:19,893 --> 01:06:21,477 (SCREAMING) 1092 01:06:25,732 --> 01:06:27,483 Okay, ready? Go! 1093 01:06:27,942 --> 01:06:30,152 This is what I call community service! 1094 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,945 Here she comes. Duck down! 1095 01:06:32,864 --> 01:06:33,989 (DOOR OPENS) 1096 01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:35,282 SCOTT: Hey! 1097 01:06:35,367 --> 01:06:37,826 Attention you hooligans behind that snowbank! 1098 01:06:37,911 --> 01:06:39,912 You have snowballed the wrong house. 1099 01:06:40,372 --> 01:06:44,333 Drop the snowballs, kick them away from the snowsuits 1100 01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:46,251 and keep the mittens where I can see them. 1101 01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:49,171 Your dad is hanging with Principal Newman? 1102 01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:51,298 - Is he dating her? - No. 1103 01:06:51,883 --> 01:06:54,927 Go to your homes. Pelt the ones you love. 1104 01:06:55,470 --> 01:06:57,429 - And a merry Christmas! - (CAROL LAUGHS) 1105 01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,266 - That is really gross, man. - Shut up. 1106 01:07:14,781 --> 01:07:17,908 There are things about me you should know. Personal things. 1107 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,702 We don't need to rush things, Scott. 1108 01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:22,413 I think you need to know these things. 1109 01:07:23,289 --> 01:07:24,415 Okay. 1110 01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:32,381 Remember the mistletoe, how it just showed up? 1111 01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:34,133 - Yes. - And the sleigh. 1112 01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:36,510 - How magical that was? - Yes. 1113 01:07:36,803 --> 01:07:38,595 Secret Santa Claus? 1114 01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:40,681 - That was me. - Yeah? 1115 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:47,563 I'm not this size much. I'm usually much bigger than this. 1116 01:07:47,647 --> 01:07:49,356 So am I sometimes. 1117 01:07:49,441 --> 01:07:51,775 I have a big white beard that's beautiful. 1118 01:07:51,860 --> 01:07:54,528 - I don't. - I work a long way from home. 1119 01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,905 When I get back home, I sleep for a long time. 1120 01:07:56,990 --> 01:07:59,950 See? Okay. It's not so bad so far. 1121 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:02,578 You work far away from home and you sleep a lot. 1122 01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:06,081 You've never been to prison and you don't wear socks with sandals. 1123 01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:07,332 - Well... - (LAUGHS) 1124 01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:09,835 (SIGHS) 1125 01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:11,170 I'm Santa Claus. 1126 01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:12,963 What? 1127 01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:17,634 The suit, the red suit's real. The North Pole is a place. 1128 01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:22,473 There are elves. They make toys. They're beautiful and it's real. 1129 01:08:22,557 --> 01:08:24,391 - I exist. - That's not funny. 1130 01:08:24,476 --> 01:08:25,976 - It's magical. - Cut it out. 1131 01:08:26,060 --> 01:08:27,102 I'm telling the truth. 1132 01:08:27,187 --> 01:08:29,521 I told you something personal from my childhood 1133 01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:33,859 and now you're making a joke out of it and it's not funny. It hurts. 1134 01:08:34,068 --> 01:08:38,864 I know how hard this is to believe, but connect the dots. 1135 01:08:38,990 --> 01:08:41,950 - Think what's happened. - I know what's going on. 1136 01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,828 - Think about the little girl. - You felt something for me. 1137 01:08:44,913 --> 01:08:47,998 Now you're acting like a mental patient because you're scared. 1138 01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:51,919 - I deliver gifts in a sleigh. - Incredible. 1139 01:08:52,003 --> 01:08:55,506 I go down chimneys with burning logs and I still deliver gifts. 1140 01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:57,758 I'm not scared. That's not what this is. 1141 01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:59,134 If you're trying to push me away, it's working. 1142 01:08:59,219 --> 01:09:01,762 Carol, don't make me leave. 1143 01:09:02,472 --> 01:09:03,889 Please. 1144 01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,504 CHARLIE: How could you pick her? SCOTT: I didn't. 1145 01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:36,922 CHARLIE: You don't care anymore. 1146 01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:39,341 I care more about you than anybody. 1147 01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:40,467 But it's a two-way street. 1148 01:09:40,552 --> 01:09:43,887 - You won't confide in me. - You want it? Here it is. 1149 01:09:43,972 --> 01:09:45,138 (SHUSHING) 1150 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:47,975 - What? Talk to me. - I don't live a normal life. 1151 01:09:48,059 --> 01:09:50,435 - You live a great life here. - Just listen to me! 1152 01:09:50,603 --> 01:09:53,522 My friends get to go around saying, "My dad's a plumber." 1153 01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:56,900 "My dad's a pilot." "My dad's a dentist." You know what? 1154 01:09:56,985 --> 01:10:00,529 My dad is the best thing of all and I can't tell anyone. 1155 01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:06,118 You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret. 1156 01:10:06,578 --> 01:10:09,705 And now you're going out with Principal Newman! 1157 01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:12,165 And you don't even tell me about it. 1158 01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:14,835 My whole life has become about secrets, and I hate it! 1159 01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:17,170 (CHARLIE SNIFFLES) 1160 01:10:19,883 --> 01:10:21,174 I'm sorry. 1161 01:10:23,970 --> 01:10:26,179 Forget about Principal Newman, all right? 1162 01:10:26,806 --> 01:10:28,557 And forget about Santa. I'm done. 1163 01:10:30,018 --> 01:10:31,143 (SIGHS) 1164 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:32,978 My time's up. 1165 01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:34,980 Who cares anymore? 1166 01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:44,031 - Hi, Charlie. - Hi, Lucy. 1167 01:10:44,115 --> 01:10:46,491 - What are you doing? - Just shoveling. 1168 01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:47,826 Oh. 1169 01:10:48,036 --> 01:10:50,537 Charlie, is Uncle Scott Santa Claus? 1170 01:10:51,539 --> 01:10:53,415 No. Why would you think that? 1171 01:10:53,499 --> 01:10:55,000 I don't know. 1172 01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:59,504 - How come Uncle Scott was sad? - What makes you think that? 1173 01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:03,467 I asked him to stick a straw in his nose and blow bubbles in his milk. 1174 01:11:03,635 --> 01:11:06,511 - And he said no. - Whatever. 1175 01:11:07,055 --> 01:11:09,890 - Can you talk to him? - I don't think so, Lucy. 1176 01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:12,100 - Did you have a fight? - Sort of. 1177 01:11:12,185 --> 01:11:14,102 - Are you gonna make up? - I don't know! 1178 01:11:14,187 --> 01:11:16,188 - Are you gonna be mad forever? - Lucy! 1179 01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,523 - What? - These are hard questions. 1180 01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:20,400 No, they're not. They're easy. 1181 01:11:20,485 --> 01:11:23,070 And you can't be mad at him forever, Charlie. 1182 01:11:23,154 --> 01:11:25,072 He's your daddy and you love him. 1183 01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:33,580 (SIGHS) 1184 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:37,084 (SINGING) Dashing through the snow 1185 01:11:37,168 --> 01:11:39,544 In a strip-mining machine 1186 01:11:39,629 --> 01:11:41,505 Flatten the hills we go 1187 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:43,131 Come on! 1188 01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:46,051 Put a smile on that face, little troll! 1189 01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:48,345 Wait a minute. I got a joke. This'll cheer you up. 1190 01:11:50,098 --> 01:11:52,099 - Knock, knock! - Who's there? 1191 01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:53,725 (LAUGHS) 1192 01:11:53,935 --> 01:11:55,978 - Aren't you? - Aren't you who? 1193 01:11:56,062 --> 01:11:58,021 Aren't you supposed to get back to work? 1194 01:11:58,106 --> 01:12:01,316 All of ya! You little idiots! Back to work! 1195 01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:04,069 Got any twos? 1196 01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:06,279 Hmm. 1197 01:12:07,699 --> 01:12:09,116 Go fish. 1198 01:12:11,703 --> 01:12:14,413 - (BACKFIRING) - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1199 01:12:14,497 --> 01:12:17,290 - Whoa! - (CRASHING) 1200 01:12:18,918 --> 01:12:20,919 - What was that? - I don't know. 1201 01:12:22,964 --> 01:12:25,298 - Want some more hot chocolate? - Mmm-hmm. 1202 01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:26,717 Okay. 1203 01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:28,427 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1204 01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,096 - Would you get that, honey? - Yeah, sure. 1205 01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:37,102 Is Scott here? 1206 01:12:37,437 --> 01:12:38,437 Who are you? 1207 01:12:39,522 --> 01:12:42,024 Curtis, a friend from Buffalo. 1208 01:12:43,401 --> 01:12:45,861 - Are you an elf? - (LAUGHING) Of course not! 1209 01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,988 Why would you ask such a silly question? 1210 01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:50,282 How come you have pointy ears? 1211 01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:55,328 It's because I never ate my green vegetables. 1212 01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:58,373 Do you eat your green vegetables? 1213 01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:04,046 Uncle Scott! 1214 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,840 Yeah, I'm right here. What's wrong? 1215 01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:09,634 Oh! Curtis! What are you doin' here? 1216 01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:12,304 There's a little trouble at the plant. 1217 01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:16,224 It's okay. Curtis is a very old friend. 1218 01:13:16,309 --> 01:13:19,061 We have a large firm. We work together in... 1219 01:13:19,145 --> 01:13:20,812 - (WHISPERS) Buffalo. - Buffalo? 1220 01:13:22,690 --> 01:13:26,359 We work together in Buffalo. So, we're gonna talk business. 1221 01:13:26,486 --> 01:13:29,446 - What business? - It's none of your business. 1222 01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:32,324 Soon, I'm gonna be seven. And then I can know things. 1223 01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:34,701 - Good night, Curtis. - Good night, Lucy. 1224 01:13:34,786 --> 01:13:36,328 Good night, Lucy. 1225 01:13:36,829 --> 01:13:40,082 - What's up? - Toy Santa's out of control. 1226 01:13:40,166 --> 01:13:42,084 He's locked up the elves, shut down the workshop, 1227 01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:45,587 he thinks everybody's naughty and he's gonna give everyone coal! 1228 01:13:45,713 --> 01:13:48,465 - Why didn't Bernard tell me? - He's under house arrest. 1229 01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:49,674 Bernard? 1230 01:13:50,009 --> 01:13:52,928 Fly back with me to the North Pole to save Christmas! 1231 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,222 I can't. I have no magic left. I'm out of magic. Look. 1232 01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:57,224 (GRUNTS) 1233 01:13:57,934 --> 01:14:00,852 - I thought you had Comet. - Yeah, we... 1234 01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,190 Yes! Come on! 1235 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:07,859 Hey, Comet. We just... 1236 01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:10,695 (GROANS) 1237 01:14:10,988 --> 01:14:15,075 Comet? 1238 01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,121 Look at me. 1239 01:14:20,081 --> 01:14:21,456 Comet. 1240 01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:23,041 (GROANS) 1241 01:14:23,543 --> 01:14:25,210 What are ya doin'? 1242 01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:27,879 Eating sugar is bad for you. 1243 01:14:28,172 --> 01:14:29,548 (GABBLES) 1244 01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:31,758 What do you mean, you didn't eat this? 1245 01:14:33,845 --> 01:14:35,137 Who did? 1246 01:14:36,222 --> 01:14:37,389 A squirrel? 1247 01:14:39,559 --> 01:14:42,435 Get this. You gotta fly both of us back to the North Pole. 1248 01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:45,522 Yeah, tonight. 1249 01:14:45,731 --> 01:14:46,815 (GROANS) 1250 01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:48,650 Okay. I'll help you up. 1251 01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:51,570 All right? Ready? You've got to help me a little here. 1252 01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:52,988 (GROANS) 1253 01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:54,906 Pull. 1254 01:14:55,074 --> 01:14:56,074 (GRUNTING) 1255 01:14:57,076 --> 01:14:59,661 Good. Okay, we almost got it. 1256 01:15:00,121 --> 01:15:01,663 That's okay. 1257 01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:06,626 Okay, now, help me. Can ya move anything? 1258 01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:08,962 (LONG GROAN) 1259 01:15:14,427 --> 01:15:16,052 Fire in the hole! Get away! 1260 01:15:17,263 --> 01:15:18,263 (FARTS) 1261 01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:19,556 (SIGHS IN RELIEF) 1262 01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:22,267 - Whoa! - (WHISTLES) 1263 01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,269 Eat some roughage, will you? 1264 01:15:25,563 --> 01:15:29,900 - Oh. What about the jet pack? - It burned up on reentry. 1265 01:15:32,486 --> 01:15:35,655 What am I supposed to do? Grow wings? 1266 01:15:38,993 --> 01:15:41,494 I hope he doesn't have too many stops to make tonight. 1267 01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:47,709 You and me both, pal. Okay. Let's just get it over with. 1268 01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:49,794 Okay. 1269 01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:52,589 One, two, 1270 01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:55,133 three! 1271 01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:56,551 (GROANS) 1272 01:15:57,970 --> 01:16:01,014 - What's going on down there? - Are you sure about this? 1273 01:16:01,307 --> 01:16:03,225 What? The old toaster trick? 1274 01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,478 When we were kids, we used to do this to get a little extra cash. 1275 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,314 - Works every time! - I can't watch this. 1276 01:16:10,107 --> 01:16:13,360 - You ready, buddy? - All right. Let her rip. 1277 01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,778 One, 1278 01:16:14,862 --> 01:16:15,862 two, 1279 01:16:16,697 --> 01:16:17,697 three! 1280 01:16:19,158 --> 01:16:20,408 Ow! 1281 01:16:22,745 --> 01:16:23,828 (GROANS) 1282 01:16:23,913 --> 01:16:25,330 Oh, Scott! 1283 01:16:26,749 --> 01:16:29,584 - Scott, are you all right? - Mom! 1284 01:16:30,294 --> 01:16:32,462 - Yes? - I lost another tooth. 1285 01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:34,547 Should I put it under my pillow? 1286 01:16:34,966 --> 01:16:36,341 Yes! 1287 01:17:06,872 --> 01:17:08,373 By cuspids! 1288 01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,749 (SHUSHES) 1289 01:17:09,834 --> 01:17:11,418 (WHISPERING) This way. Come on. 1290 01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:14,296 Curtis, get the door. It's a Tooth Fairy ambush. 1291 01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:22,721 What do you people want? I only carry $20 in change. 1292 01:17:22,805 --> 01:17:25,348 (SHUSHING) Tooth Fairy, it's me, Santa. 1293 01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:27,600 I've lost the weight and the beard, but it's me. 1294 01:17:27,685 --> 01:17:30,687 I know Santa. Santa is a friend. And you, sir, are no Santa. 1295 01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:31,980 I am too. 1296 01:17:32,064 --> 01:17:35,233 How did I know I could capture you by holdin' on to a wing? 1297 01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:39,029 You wanted to change your name to Captain Floss or Plaque Man. 1298 01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:40,822 Or, as I recall, Roy. 1299 01:17:40,906 --> 01:17:43,033 And it was Santa's idea to call you the Molarnator. 1300 01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:48,830 - Who's the kid? - One of my elves. He's an elf. 1301 01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:50,582 Ow. 1302 01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:52,709 Santa! 1303 01:17:53,252 --> 01:17:54,586 (LAUGHS) 1304 01:17:55,755 --> 01:17:57,797 The Molarnator at your service! 1305 01:17:58,758 --> 01:18:01,676 - A little altitude, please! - What? 1306 01:18:01,761 --> 01:18:05,138 Could you possibly fly a little higher? Ow! 1307 01:18:05,598 --> 01:18:07,015 - What? - Ow! 1308 01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:08,433 - (CAR ALARM BEEPING) - Never mind! 1309 01:18:17,526 --> 01:18:19,110 Principal Newman? 1310 01:18:20,279 --> 01:18:21,863 What is it, Charlie? 1311 01:18:23,115 --> 01:18:25,909 You keep asking me if there's something bothering me. 1312 01:18:26,786 --> 01:18:28,787 Well, there is. I... 1313 01:18:29,663 --> 01:18:31,873 I couldn't talk about it before, but... 1314 01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:34,793 I want to talk about it now. 1315 01:18:36,128 --> 01:18:38,380 Okay. Go ahead. 1316 01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:42,008 - My dad is Santa. - Oh, please. Not you too. 1317 01:18:42,093 --> 01:18:43,551 Hold on. 1318 01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,513 If you have no feelings for my dad, then fine. 1319 01:18:47,264 --> 01:18:49,641 But if the only reason for not being with him is 1320 01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:52,811 that you don't believe in him, you're making a big mistake. 1321 01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:54,562 Oh, Charlie. 1322 01:18:54,980 --> 01:18:56,272 Here. 1323 01:18:58,984 --> 01:19:01,986 I want you to take this. Look into this and 1324 01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:04,948 try to remember what it was like when you were little 1325 01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:06,950 and you still believed in Christmas. 1326 01:19:32,518 --> 01:19:35,520 Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing. 1327 01:19:35,938 --> 01:19:37,188 (LAUGHS) 1328 01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:40,191 You haven't seen anything yet! 1329 01:19:44,363 --> 01:19:45,738 - Curtis? - What? 1330 01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:46,823 - (THUMP) - CURTIS: Ow! 1331 01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,199 - What do I do? - Slow down. 1332 01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:49,451 Okay. 1333 01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,494 Piece of cake. Attaboy. There you go. 1334 01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:53,955 Why can't you fly higher? 1335 01:19:54,582 --> 01:19:57,542 Tooth Fairy, I want to thank you. I'll never forget this. 1336 01:19:58,127 --> 01:19:59,794 I wish I could do more, but I gotta go. 1337 01:19:59,879 --> 01:20:02,088 Denver just started a new peewee hockey league. 1338 01:20:02,173 --> 01:20:04,466 Before you go, I want you to know that nobody, 1339 01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:06,676 nobody was braver than you were today. 1340 01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:08,553 You should be proud of your wings. 1341 01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:12,098 - They're not too girly? - Not on you. 1342 01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:14,225 (CHUCKLES) 1343 01:20:21,734 --> 01:20:24,194 Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop? 1344 01:20:24,278 --> 01:20:26,863 No. That way Santa and his soldiers would be expecting us. 1345 01:20:26,947 --> 01:20:31,159 Sound military strategy involves taking your enemy by surprise. 1346 01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:32,785 It's good strategy. 1347 01:20:35,247 --> 01:20:38,249 Sometimes being a despot is a tough business. 1348 01:20:38,542 --> 01:20:40,084 (LAUGHS) 1349 01:20:40,169 --> 01:20:41,252 Come on. 1350 01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:42,921 (HUMMING) 1351 01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,760 It's Scott, isn't it? 1352 01:20:49,220 --> 01:20:51,179 Yeah. What are you supposed to be? 1353 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:54,599 A better, stronger version of what you used to be, 1354 01:20:55,434 --> 01:20:57,477 with a flawless complexion, I might add. 1355 01:20:57,561 --> 01:21:01,064 - Look, it just glistens. - Listen to me. I'm back now. 1356 01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,192 So untie us. Let the elves go and give me back the coat. 1357 01:21:05,402 --> 01:21:06,778 (MUMBLES) 1358 01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:13,159 No can do! It's Christmas Eve! I have coal to deliver! 1359 01:21:13,244 --> 01:21:15,954 And I don't want those naughty kids to suffer! (LAUGHS) 1360 01:21:16,121 --> 01:21:18,998 Boys! One, two, three! 1361 01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:23,795 And one, two! Try to keep up! Let's go. Move it on! 1362 01:21:24,755 --> 01:21:27,632 Try to... This is just too tight. 1363 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,008 (SIGHS) 1364 01:21:29,093 --> 01:21:30,885 This is all my fault. 1365 01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:33,304 I thought I could create another Santa. 1366 01:21:33,806 --> 01:21:36,474 My elfin pride blinded me to all reason. 1367 01:21:38,227 --> 01:21:40,228 There's only one Santa. 1368 01:21:40,563 --> 01:21:42,480 Well, I've done a pretty rotten job. 1369 01:21:42,648 --> 01:21:44,440 I didn't check the list twice. 1370 01:21:44,817 --> 01:21:47,318 My kid thinks I betrayed him. 1371 01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:50,196 I hurt the woman I love. 1372 01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:53,408 I ruined Christmas. 1373 01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,161 (SIGHS) 1374 01:22:02,793 --> 01:22:04,085 Charlie! 1375 01:22:04,169 --> 01:22:06,170 How'd you get up here? 1376 01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:13,219 Scott! 1377 01:22:13,304 --> 01:22:15,346 I got to fly in with the Tooth Fairy. 1378 01:22:16,098 --> 01:22:17,640 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 1379 01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:21,269 Brush between meals and don't forget the floss. 1380 01:22:21,353 --> 01:22:23,730 And if anybody cares, I'm exhausted. 1381 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:27,692 And she has a beautiful smile. 1382 01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:31,279 - Thank you for everything. - No. Thank you. 1383 01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:35,033 I am... (LAUGHS) The Molarnator! 1384 01:22:39,330 --> 01:22:40,371 Whoo! 1385 01:22:40,873 --> 01:22:42,332 Come on! 1386 01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:44,000 (ALL CLAMORING) 1387 01:22:58,223 --> 01:22:59,515 Hyah! 1388 01:23:11,654 --> 01:23:12,904 (WHISTLES) 1389 01:23:14,573 --> 01:23:16,115 Get out of the way! 1390 01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,159 What are you doing? 1391 01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:21,079 - You gotta save Christmas. - How am I supposed to save... 1392 01:23:23,582 --> 01:23:25,083 (CRASHING) 1393 01:23:25,292 --> 01:23:27,168 - No, no, no. - Please. Don't worry. 1394 01:23:28,379 --> 01:23:31,506 ELVES: Whoa! Whoa! 1395 01:23:31,590 --> 01:23:33,424 Slow down. 1396 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:35,968 Stay. 1397 01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:39,180 - Oh! - (ELVES EXCLAIMING) 1398 01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:42,767 CHET: Oh, Chet... 1399 01:23:43,602 --> 01:23:46,270 Ouch! Ow! Oh, oh, oh! 1400 01:23:47,815 --> 01:23:49,816 Thanks. Excuse me, pork chop. 1401 01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:52,985 Okay. Chet, this is it. You ready to rock and roll? 1402 01:23:53,987 --> 01:23:56,114 - Chet? - Yeah. He's still in training. 1403 01:23:56,782 --> 01:23:59,701 - Has he had much flight time? - About a minute and a half. 1404 01:24:00,536 --> 01:24:03,204 - He's had a lot of crash time! - Curtis! 1405 01:24:03,622 --> 01:24:06,207 - He's just a baby. - All right. 1406 01:24:06,959 --> 01:24:08,543 Let's see what this baby can do. 1407 01:24:08,919 --> 01:24:10,878 - (CHET HUMMING) - Oh, boy. 1408 01:24:10,963 --> 01:24:13,548 Ready to go, buddy? You know what we gotta do. 1409 01:24:14,258 --> 01:24:15,675 Hyah! 1410 01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:23,558 Chet! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chet, Chet. 1411 01:24:23,642 --> 01:24:24,767 (CHET CACKLES WILDLY) 1412 01:24:24,852 --> 01:24:26,811 You gotta focus, Chet. 1413 01:24:29,606 --> 01:24:33,151 Okay, everybody! Outside, now! 1414 01:24:37,114 --> 01:24:39,615 Almost there, boys. Let's go! 1415 01:24:39,700 --> 01:24:41,033 (LAUGHS) 1416 01:24:42,995 --> 01:24:44,787 - Chet, whoa! - (MAD CACKLE) 1417 01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:48,082 (CHEERING) 1418 01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:03,264 Snowballs, on three! 1419 01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:04,599 One! 1420 01:25:07,060 --> 01:25:08,311 Two! 1421 01:25:14,818 --> 01:25:15,818 Three! 1422 01:25:33,712 --> 01:25:35,254 Okay, elves! 1423 01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:38,633 Let's get 'em! 1424 01:25:38,717 --> 01:25:40,259 (ALL YELLING) 1425 01:25:45,557 --> 01:25:47,266 Not so far! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1426 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:48,726 - Chet! - Whoo! 1427 01:25:49,228 --> 01:25:51,646 Back for more action, eh, Scooter? 1428 01:25:51,814 --> 01:25:52,980 Chet, Chet! 1429 01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:54,065 (LAUGHS) 1430 01:25:54,316 --> 01:25:55,900 (CHET BABBLES) 1431 01:25:56,401 --> 01:25:58,277 Cut the chitchat, Chet! 1432 01:25:58,362 --> 01:26:00,488 Why is this such a problem? Come on! 1433 01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:02,490 Where do you think you're going? 1434 01:26:02,574 --> 01:26:05,409 - Go, go! - Hyah, boy! Come on! 1435 01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:07,787 Faster! 1436 01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,916 The lead. The one in the front, Chet! 1437 01:26:12,251 --> 01:26:14,418 Leave my reindeer alone! 1438 01:26:14,837 --> 01:26:16,587 - Go! Go! Go! - (CHET BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1439 01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:20,049 Come on! We got to get them before they get out the hole. 1440 01:26:20,759 --> 01:26:22,760 Stay away from my lead reindeer! 1441 01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:26,764 - (CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND) - Whoo! 1442 01:26:27,182 --> 01:26:29,433 Holy Hannah, he's an action hero! 1443 01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:31,602 (LAUGHS) Hyah! 1444 01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:45,700 (SCREAMING) 1445 01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:58,170 What are you doin' up there? I can't see where I'm driving. 1446 01:27:00,591 --> 01:27:02,884 You are a sad, strange little man. 1447 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:05,386 Whoa. 1448 01:27:06,263 --> 01:27:08,514 You're gonna fall, I hope! 1449 01:27:10,726 --> 01:27:13,227 That's a good way to lose an eye! (LAUGHS) 1450 01:27:15,689 --> 01:27:18,107 Look out! You're scaring me! 1451 01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:26,490 Can I help you? 1452 01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:29,243 Honey, I'm home! 1453 01:27:29,912 --> 01:27:31,495 (SCREAMING) 1454 01:27:34,291 --> 01:27:36,000 Loser! 1455 01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:43,925 (SCREAMING) 1456 01:27:48,013 --> 01:27:49,513 (YELLING) 1457 01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:04,320 (SCREAMING) 1458 01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:27,259 (CACKLES) 1459 01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:32,515 Hey, I'm supposed to wear this coat! How about a little elbow? 1460 01:28:32,599 --> 01:28:35,685 There you are. That's gotta feel good. 1461 01:28:36,061 --> 01:28:39,230 You want the shoe? Take it off. Go ahead. Go on! 1462 01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:44,568 (BOTH GASP) 1463 01:28:45,153 --> 01:28:46,362 BOTH: Huh? 1464 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:49,782 What are we gonna do now, smarty-pants? 1465 01:28:51,827 --> 01:28:54,036 Watch out! The building! Left, left! 1466 01:28:54,121 --> 01:28:56,664 Oh, well. The town'll break the fall. 1467 01:29:02,546 --> 01:29:04,088 Look out! 1468 01:29:05,716 --> 01:29:08,926 Yo, Tony! Hey, Brian, stop me! 1469 01:29:12,305 --> 01:29:13,472 (GRUNTS) 1470 01:29:13,557 --> 01:29:14,682 (GROANS) 1471 01:29:14,766 --> 01:29:15,975 (ALL YELLING) 1472 01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:20,062 Get off of me! Now remember, rules are very, very important! 1473 01:29:20,147 --> 01:29:21,939 I want hot chocolate. 1474 01:29:22,357 --> 01:29:25,609 SCOTT: Hey, guys, back up. I've got a special place for him. 1475 01:29:27,738 --> 01:29:30,072 TOY SANTA: You idiot! Wait a minute, something's shocking me. 1476 01:29:30,157 --> 01:29:32,324 - You were great. - Sounds like you were, too. 1477 01:29:32,409 --> 01:29:34,452 - We've got 10 minutes. - Where is Carol? 1478 01:29:35,245 --> 01:29:37,038 - Carol! Are you all right? - Yes! 1479 01:29:37,122 --> 01:29:40,958 - Where are you going? - I gotta deliver gifts. 1480 01:29:41,043 --> 01:29:42,501 Aren't you forgetting something? 1481 01:29:42,586 --> 01:29:44,503 - No. - You gotta get married. 1482 01:29:44,963 --> 01:29:46,213 Excuse me? 1483 01:29:49,634 --> 01:29:51,052 Carol, I... 1484 01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:57,850 I cannot continue being Santa unless I find a Mrs. Claus. 1485 01:29:59,144 --> 01:30:00,186 Oh. 1486 01:30:00,270 --> 01:30:03,022 So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing... 1487 01:30:03,106 --> 01:30:05,775 - You just needed a wife. - No. 1488 01:30:06,109 --> 01:30:07,359 No? 1489 01:30:08,278 --> 01:30:09,945 - Yes. - Yes? 1490 01:30:10,989 --> 01:30:12,948 Yes, I was looking for a wife. 1491 01:30:13,492 --> 01:30:17,036 No, I didn't figure on falling in love. 1492 01:30:21,208 --> 01:30:22,666 You love me? 1493 01:30:25,504 --> 01:30:29,548 - This is all happening so fast. - Well, there's no pressure. 1494 01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:31,759 Good. 1495 01:30:31,843 --> 01:30:34,345 I mean, if I don't get married, I just won't deliver the gifts, 1496 01:30:36,348 --> 01:30:38,516 and children everywhere will stop believing, 1497 01:30:38,600 --> 01:30:42,353 the elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear 1498 01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:44,438 and Christmas will be gone. 1499 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:49,944 - Get down on one knee. - Hmm? 1500 01:30:50,028 --> 01:30:51,987 Do it. Now. 1501 01:30:55,992 --> 01:30:57,618 Say "Carol." 1502 01:31:00,831 --> 01:31:02,581 - Carol. - Uh-huh. 1503 01:31:03,041 --> 01:31:04,208 Yeah? 1504 01:31:04,334 --> 01:31:10,673 You say this is happening all so fast. 1505 01:31:11,007 --> 01:31:17,179 But you've known me your whole life. 1506 01:31:17,264 --> 01:31:20,307 When you were little and alone... 1507 01:31:20,392 --> 01:31:23,269 - BOTH: Santa... - I can take it from here. 1508 01:31:23,353 --> 01:31:25,354 Santa was always there for you. 1509 01:31:25,438 --> 01:31:28,691 And I will be, as long as you continue to believe in me. 1510 01:31:29,568 --> 01:31:31,777 I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home, 1511 01:31:32,154 --> 01:31:34,572 but I can guarantee you that this is worth it. 1512 01:31:35,115 --> 01:31:36,782 This place... 1513 01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:40,327 This place is all about magic 1514 01:31:40,412 --> 01:31:42,913 and love and wonder. 1515 01:31:44,416 --> 01:31:46,792 And occasionally a thin-crust pizza 1516 01:31:47,335 --> 01:31:49,879 and a movie and a long winter night. 1517 01:31:50,755 --> 01:31:52,756 Is there a school here? 1518 01:31:55,635 --> 01:31:59,471 Yeah, we have one, a school, but the elves need a new principal. 1519 01:31:59,598 --> 01:32:03,392 'Cause as of late, some of the elves have been acting a bit impish. 1520 01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:11,692 Carol, 1521 01:32:13,695 --> 01:32:15,696 - I love you. - You do? 1522 01:32:16,781 --> 01:32:19,116 Would you be my wife? 1523 01:32:21,119 --> 01:32:22,578 (WHISPERS) I will. 1524 01:32:22,662 --> 01:32:25,080 (WHISPERS) Thank you. I've got it from here. 1525 01:32:30,629 --> 01:32:32,296 I will. 1526 01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:40,679 By the powers vested in me by me, 1527 01:32:41,973 --> 01:32:43,641 I now pronounce you Santa 1528 01:32:44,893 --> 01:32:46,268 and Mrs. Claus. 1529 01:32:47,437 --> 01:32:48,812 (BELL TOLLING) 1530 01:32:49,606 --> 01:32:52,066 Well, go on now. Kiss her! 1531 01:32:59,783 --> 01:33:02,534 ALL: Aw! 1532 01:33:08,208 --> 01:33:09,750 (GURGLING) 1533 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:11,627 (ALL CHEERING) 1534 01:33:22,847 --> 01:33:24,056 (LAUGHS) 1535 01:33:24,349 --> 01:33:27,351 - Dad, we gotta go. - Walk me to my sleigh. 1536 01:33:27,644 --> 01:33:31,313 We gotta go! When we get back, we start making some more toys. 1537 01:33:36,945 --> 01:33:41,323 All right. Well, Mrs. Claus, you might want to get some rest. 1538 01:33:41,408 --> 01:33:44,618 You see, tomorrow begins vacation season for me, 1539 01:33:44,703 --> 01:33:47,079 which means a three-month honeymoon for us. 1540 01:33:47,372 --> 01:33:48,831 (CHUCKLES) 1541 01:33:50,083 --> 01:33:53,460 Nothing tropical. You do not want to see this in a Speedo. 1542 01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:56,547 Don't be home too late. 1543 01:33:58,216 --> 01:34:00,009 And so it begins. 1544 01:34:00,302 --> 01:34:02,136 Boys, we've got some toys to deliver! 1545 01:34:02,262 --> 01:34:03,929 Hyah! Hyah! 1546 01:34:26,578 --> 01:34:28,203 (WHISPERS) Lucy? 1547 01:34:28,872 --> 01:34:30,497 What, Charlie? 1548 01:34:31,416 --> 01:34:34,251 Come downstairs. I want you to see something. 1549 01:34:44,262 --> 01:34:45,929 (WHISPERS) Lucy. 1550 01:34:46,556 --> 01:34:48,515 Watch this. 1551 01:34:55,023 --> 01:34:56,273 (GASPS) 1552 01:35:04,783 --> 01:35:06,492 Uncle Scott? 1553 01:35:10,497 --> 01:35:13,415 - Do you have any twos? - Go fish! 1554 01:35:13,500 --> 01:35:17,544 You are Santa! I knew it was you all along. 1555 01:35:17,796 --> 01:35:20,422 - And you were right. - Uncle Scott, 1556 01:35:21,132 --> 01:35:24,259 you look all rosy. Are you feeling better? 1557 01:35:24,511 --> 01:35:26,512 I'm feeling much, much better. 1558 01:35:27,013 --> 01:35:29,139 Is there anything else I should know about? 1559 01:35:29,808 --> 01:35:33,394 I don't know. But Charlie has something he wants to tell you. 1560 01:35:33,603 --> 01:35:34,937 Okay. 1561 01:35:36,439 --> 01:35:40,651 You know, I was exactly your age when I found out my dad was Santa. 1562 01:35:41,319 --> 01:35:44,863 - But I couldn't tell anybody. - I can't tell anybody either? 1563 01:35:44,948 --> 01:35:47,825 No. But knowing it isn't a burden. 1564 01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:50,577 It's a gift. 1565 01:35:52,038 --> 01:35:54,748 Most kids stop believing in Santa when they grow up. 1566 01:35:55,250 --> 01:35:57,084 But I get to believe in him forever. 1567 01:35:57,961 --> 01:36:00,587 I love you, Charlie. Thank you. 1568 01:36:06,886 --> 01:36:08,095 But do we still get toys? 1569 01:36:08,721 --> 01:36:11,682 If you ever get to bed and go to sleep like the other kids. 1570 01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:14,017 Okay. 1571 01:36:14,853 --> 01:36:18,188 - Merry Christmas, Lucy. - Merry Christmas, Santa. 1572 01:36:19,357 --> 01:36:21,400 Sport, I gotta fly. 1573 01:36:27,157 --> 01:36:28,782 (REINDEER HOOVES THUNDERING) 1574 01:36:30,743 --> 01:36:32,744 (REINDEER HOOVES) 1575 01:36:37,333 --> 01:36:39,710 - Easy, boys, easy. - (CHET GROANS) 1576 01:36:40,962 --> 01:36:42,296 You're gettin' it, Chet. 1577 01:36:53,391 --> 01:36:54,683 (REINDEER SIGHS HAPPILY) 1578 01:36:56,060 --> 01:36:58,061 Look, Charlie! 1579 01:36:59,022 --> 01:37:00,981 Merry Christmas, Comet! 1580 01:37:07,572 --> 01:37:09,156 All right, boys! 1581 01:37:09,908 --> 01:37:12,326 Hyah! Ho, ho, ho! 1582 01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:15,370 - Hyah! - (CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND) 1583 01:37:15,455 --> 01:37:19,082 Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night! 1584 01:37:19,167 --> 01:37:20,667 (CHET BABBLES) 1585 01:37:21,044 --> 01:37:23,253 Nothin' wrong with a straight line, Chet. 1586 01:37:23,338 --> 01:37:26,256 - Chet! Chet! - (CHET CACKLES WILDLY) 1587 01:37:39,103 --> 01:37:40,979 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 1588 01:37:52,450 --> 01:37:55,327 Everybody loves Christmas 1589 01:37:55,411 --> 01:37:57,955 Everybody has fun 1590 01:37:58,998 --> 01:38:02,084 That time ofthe year That holiday cheer 1591 01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,127 A good time for everyone 1592 01:38:04,212 --> 01:38:06,755 Everybody loves Christmas 1593 01:38:07,131 --> 01:38:09,466 Oh, count the ways 1594 01:38:10,677 --> 01:38:13,178 You know it's almost here 1595 01:38:13,263 --> 01:38:15,264 Oh, Christmas Day 1596 01:38:16,474 --> 01:38:18,475 Christmas Day 1597 01:38:25,817 --> 01:38:27,317 Hey! 1598 01:38:28,570 --> 01:38:30,696 What the heck are we doin' out here? 1599 01:38:33,449 --> 01:38:36,410 Look, if we're gonna dance, 1600 01:38:37,412 --> 01:38:40,747 dance like this. All of us! 1601 01:38:41,708 --> 01:38:43,709 Everybody, you idiots! 1602 01:38:45,295 --> 01:38:46,837 Hey, lady! 1603 01:38:47,213 --> 01:38:48,505 Watch this! 1604 01:38:49,007 --> 01:38:51,008 Ever seen a toy do this? 1605 01:38:51,926 --> 01:38:53,135 (LAUGHING) 1606 01:38:53,219 --> 01:38:56,471 Where you going? Whoo!