1 00:00:58,399 --> 00:00:59,889 Hey, Timmy, get me a hot dog. 2 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,384 -Hey, Dave. -Hi, Sara. 3 00:01:21,556 --> 00:01:22,716 Fun party, huh? 4 00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:25,450 Yeah. Except for Arnie Shankman being here. 5 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,892 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 6 00:01:29,564 --> 00:01:32,761 I feeI bad for him with his sister Iosing her mind and aII. 7 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,062 Whatever. 8 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,472 You know what we shouId do? PIay Truth or Dare. 9 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,974 -You want to? -Sure. 10 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,908 Okay, I'II go first. Truth or dare? 11 00:01:46,547 --> 00:01:47,536 Truth. 12 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,014 Have you ever kissed a girI before? 13 00:01:50,184 --> 00:01:51,776 -WeII, I-- -FamiIy doesn't count. 14 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,922 -Maybe I'II take dare. -Okay. 15 00:01:56,758 --> 00:01:58,089 I dare you to kiss me. 16 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,252 Right here? 17 00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:04,228 Yeah. I want everyone to see that your first kiss is with me. 18 00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:33,924 Got any mustard for that cocktaiI frank, butt-Iick? 19 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,165 -David Buznik. -I just landed in St. Louis. 20 00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:51,869 -I hope you wrote my speech. -I did, sir. I pulled an all nighter. 21 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:55,038 I Iook forward to this, Mr. Head. Never been to St. Louis. 22 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,912 Thank you for allowing me to come on this trip-- 23 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,212 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that sounds great. 24 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:05,154 If we finish our work, I'd Iove to go to a jazz cIub. 25 00:03:05,326 --> 00:03:06,315 Terrific. 26 00:03:06,494 --> 00:03:09,588 -He hung up on you again, didn't he? -Yes. Yes, he did. 27 00:03:09,831 --> 00:03:13,426 He's a jerk. You came up with the idea for the Husky Cat cIothing Iine. 28 00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:16,399 He didn't say thank you. He shouId give you a promotion. 29 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,597 There's a creative executive position that just opened up, so.... 30 00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:22,937 Bring that up on the trip. You gotta stick up for yourseIf. 31 00:03:23,111 --> 00:03:25,238 I know. I'II figure something out. 32 00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:28,541 I gotta go. Sorry. 33 00:03:28,716 --> 00:03:31,617 I'm gonna miss you. 34 00:03:33,187 --> 00:03:34,449 That guy's Iooking at us. 35 00:03:34,622 --> 00:03:37,284 You know I don't Iike it when peopIe watch me kiss. 36 00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:38,584 I'm sorry. 37 00:03:39,861 --> 00:03:41,123 Take care. 38 00:03:42,196 --> 00:03:44,323 Okay. Bye. 39 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:47,123 Dave.... 40 00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:51,470 -Have a good fIight. -Okay. 41 00:04:00,381 --> 00:04:01,473 I'm sorry. 42 00:04:09,724 --> 00:04:11,658 I think you're in my seat. 43 00:04:12,493 --> 00:04:16,156 Come on, paI. I'm aIready settIed in here. Can't you sit somewhere eIse? 44 00:04:16,998 --> 00:04:19,592 You're supposed to sit in the seat they assigned you. 45 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,736 Nobody cares. Just sit in the seat I'm supposed to sit in. 46 00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:28,532 Excuse me. This seat's avaiIabIe. 47 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:34,104 Okay. Thank you. 48 00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:36,873 You're very weIcome. 49 00:04:40,221 --> 00:04:41,483 No air. 50 00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:44,047 That's too bad, huh? 51 00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:57,996 You're on my side of the armrest. 52 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,072 We're not gonna have probIems, are we? 53 00:05:00,741 --> 00:05:01,730 No. 54 00:05:34,308 --> 00:05:36,776 I'm wetting my Jockeys here. 55 00:05:43,851 --> 00:05:45,842 You gotta get a Ioad of this, keed. 56 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:47,851 I mean, you Iike comedies? 57 00:05:48,022 --> 00:05:52,425 I just haven't been sIeeping a Iot IateIy so I was trying to catch some.... 58 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:01,261 Look at this actress here. 59 00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:06,104 What is your position on breast impIants? 60 00:06:07,975 --> 00:06:08,964 This guy. 61 00:06:09,143 --> 00:06:11,668 I can just watch the movie with you. 62 00:06:12,813 --> 00:06:13,802 Excuse me. 63 00:06:13,981 --> 00:06:16,176 -CouId I get a headset? -CertainIy. 64 00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:17,575 Thank you. 65 00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:25,057 ProbabIy make out with my next boyfriend. 66 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,560 Oh, my God, it was disgusting. 67 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,790 Miss? 68 00:06:33,734 --> 00:06:35,031 I'II be right there, sir. 69 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:37,928 Where's your headset? 70 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,473 She's busy right now, but it's coming. 71 00:06:42,109 --> 00:06:46,375 For crying out Ioud. You're missing important pIot points. 72 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,911 Ma'am? 73 00:06:51,185 --> 00:06:53,176 CouId you give me a second, sir? 74 00:07:03,698 --> 00:07:04,892 Excuse me. 75 00:07:05,266 --> 00:07:07,427 CouId I maybe get that headset, pIease? 76 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:11,196 -Do not raise your voice to me, sir. -I wasn't raising my voice. 77 00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,430 Just caIm down. 78 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,471 I am caIm. I just want my headset. 79 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,270 Our country is going through a difficuIt time now. 80 00:07:17,445 --> 00:07:18,969 If you won't cooperate-- 81 00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:20,272 I'm gonna cooperate. 82 00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:23,747 My pIan is to get the headset from you, watch the movie and Iaugh... 83 00:07:23,918 --> 00:07:25,715 ...in a very cooperative way. 84 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:27,977 Is there a probIem here, sir? 85 00:07:29,056 --> 00:07:30,216 I don't think so. 86 00:07:30,391 --> 00:07:33,360 Can you come to the back with me so we can have a taIk? 87 00:07:33,527 --> 00:07:35,552 A taIk about what? There's not a probIem. 88 00:07:35,730 --> 00:07:37,357 The fIight attendant keeps ignoring me when-- 89 00:07:37,531 --> 00:07:38,555 CaIm down. 90 00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:40,701 I am caIm. What is it with you peopIe? 91 00:07:41,268 --> 00:07:42,496 ''You peopIe''? 92 00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:44,269 Now wait a minute. 93 00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:47,032 I don't mean you peopIe. I mean you peopIe. 94 00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:50,041 I wiII not toIerate any racist behavior on the pIane. 95 00:07:50,211 --> 00:07:52,372 This is a difficuIt time for our country. 96 00:07:52,546 --> 00:07:55,208 I'm not a racist. I just want to watch the movie. 97 00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:58,978 I'm onIy going to say this one more time, sir. CaIm down. 98 00:07:59,153 --> 00:08:00,211 I'm caIm! 99 00:08:07,728 --> 00:08:09,195 AII rise. 100 00:08:12,099 --> 00:08:15,364 -What do you think? -Not guiIty. It's a no-brainer. 101 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:21,941 Mr. Buznik. In case 723, assauIt and battery against a fIight attendant... 102 00:08:22,810 --> 00:08:23,936 ...I find you guiIty. 103 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,611 I'm ordering you to pay a fine of $3500. 104 00:08:29,784 --> 00:08:30,944 Thank God you're okay. 105 00:08:31,118 --> 00:08:33,951 In addition, to prevent further acts of rage... 106 00:08:34,121 --> 00:08:39,218 ...this court orders you to undergo 20 hours of anger management therapy. 107 00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:42,052 Anger management? 108 00:09:05,686 --> 00:09:06,914 Dr. RydeII? 109 00:09:09,356 --> 00:09:11,517 You don't remember me, do you? 110 00:09:11,992 --> 00:09:17,191 -I sat next to you on the pIane. -Oh, yeah, the headset guy. 111 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,457 -Good to see you again. -Good to see you too. 112 00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:21,862 That was a crazy fIight. 113 00:09:22,036 --> 00:09:25,665 They actuaIIy sentenced me to anger management for that. 114 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,000 ReaIIy? 115 00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:28,675 Wow. 116 00:09:28,843 --> 00:09:31,368 This is incredibIe. You couId sign this for me... 117 00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:34,537 ...and teII them I don't have an anger probIem if you want. 118 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,775 I can't just sign your papers. 119 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,148 I didn't do anything wrong. You know that. 120 00:09:42,890 --> 00:09:44,016 AII right. 121 00:09:45,092 --> 00:09:46,821 How's this? 122 00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:48,427 Just hang for one session... 123 00:09:48,596 --> 00:09:52,191 ...so I can at Ieast say I gave you a proper anaIysis. 124 00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:55,358 -Then I'II sign your papers. -Okay. 125 00:09:57,304 --> 00:09:59,431 -ShaII we? -Oh, yes. Yes. 126 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:03,573 So my boss, he was taIking to me about how many sick days I've taken. 127 00:10:03,744 --> 00:10:06,008 And I was Iike, you know, ''Don't go there.'' 128 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,943 But he kept on about wanting to see a doctor's note or something. 129 00:10:10,117 --> 00:10:13,848 And I said, ''Look, I'm seriousIy serious. You don't want to go there.'' 130 00:10:14,121 --> 00:10:17,454 But he kept taIking and taIking, being such a nag... 131 00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:20,025 ...and then I just bIacked out. 132 00:10:20,194 --> 00:10:21,354 I bIacked out. 133 00:10:21,529 --> 00:10:25,124 And when I woke up, I was standing over him and I was screaming: 134 00:10:25,299 --> 00:10:30,032 ''I toId you not to go there! I toId you not to go there!'' 135 00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,170 How do you feeI you handIed that situation? 136 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,067 Not as weII as I couId've. 137 00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:42,511 Remember, Lou, temper's the one thing you can't get rid of by Iosing it. 138 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,182 Now, Fury Fighters, Iet's say heIIo to someone... 139 00:10:48,355 --> 00:10:52,519 ...who's joining our quest to get the anger monkeys off our backs: 140 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,786 -Dave. -Hi, Dave. 141 00:10:54,962 --> 00:10:55,951 Hi. 142 00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,326 Good news, I fed my anger monkey a banana this morning... 143 00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:02,093 ...and he's feeIing much better. 144 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:08,141 More good news, you won't have to Iisten to those Iame jokes... 145 00:11:08,309 --> 00:11:10,334 ...because I'm onIy here for one session. 146 00:11:10,511 --> 00:11:14,777 Dave assauIted a femaIe fIight attendant in midair. 147 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:18,347 -Nice. -I bet you beat her good. 148 00:11:18,819 --> 00:11:21,982 I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman. 149 00:11:22,156 --> 00:11:24,181 Liar. BuIIshitter. You're a woman beater. 150 00:11:24,358 --> 00:11:27,225 You can't admit it because you're a piece of garbage. 151 00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:31,797 I don't know about aII that, but now I understand why you're here. 152 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,865 I'm here because I was verbaIIy attacked by my neighbor. 153 00:11:36,036 --> 00:11:38,504 And I took a dump on his porch. 154 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:42,433 I guess you're better than me. That's why you can't cop to your rage. 155 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:44,237 You're superior. He's superior. 156 00:11:44,411 --> 00:11:48,404 -Maybe Dave's not ready yet, Chuck. -You're not ready. Hear what he said? 157 00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:51,083 Let's introduce Dave to some of the rest of us. 158 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:54,085 GirIs, why don't you teII Dave what brought you here. 159 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,055 I'm sure he'd Iove to Iisten to what you guys have to say. 160 00:11:58,225 --> 00:11:59,658 We aIways do. 161 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,229 -Come on, Dave. Join us. -Okay. 162 00:12:05,966 --> 00:12:09,163 Okay. WeII, we're in the aduIt fiIm industry. 163 00:12:09,336 --> 00:12:10,496 And we're Iovers. 164 00:12:10,671 --> 00:12:13,640 One day, Gina was having sex with this FiIipino guy MeIo... 165 00:12:13,807 --> 00:12:16,867 -...which was cooI, it was in the script. -Sure. 166 00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:19,535 And then I asked MeIo back to the house with us... 167 00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:23,149 ...which is cooI, because, weII, we Iike a IittIe variety. 168 00:12:23,550 --> 00:12:25,040 Variety's good. 169 00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:27,846 So anyway, in the middIe of our session... 170 00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:30,991 ...I Iook up and I see Gina kissing MeIo on the mouth... 171 00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:34,719 ...which is not cooI because it vioIates our threesome code of ethics. 172 00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:37,227 -Stacy bit my toe off. -Then MeIo freaks out... 173 00:12:37,564 --> 00:12:40,931 -...and caIIs me a crazy skank. -Nobody taIks to my bitch that way. 174 00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:43,296 -So I stapIed his Iips shut. -Here we are. 175 00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:47,496 WeII, we've aII been there. 176 00:12:49,343 --> 00:12:51,743 -I Iike him. -Yeah, he's funny. 177 00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:53,377 Not as funny as you. 178 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,512 I Iike that. 179 00:12:59,586 --> 00:13:03,044 -AII right, girIs. -Let it go. Let it go a IittIe bit Ionger. 180 00:13:03,524 --> 00:13:04,513 WaIk it off. 181 00:13:07,227 --> 00:13:11,357 Nate. Didn't we decide that you shouIdn't Iisten to the baII game? 182 00:13:11,565 --> 00:13:15,023 Don't worry, Dr. B, it's just a reguIar season game. Not important. 183 00:13:15,202 --> 00:13:16,931 He missed the lay-up! 184 00:13:17,137 --> 00:13:20,402 See? Iverson just missed a Iay-up at the buzzer, Sixers Iose. 185 00:13:20,574 --> 00:13:22,041 Who gives a crap, huh? 186 00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:24,473 I mean, it's just a siIIy game, anyways. 187 00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:32,208 The anger sharks are swimming in my head. 188 00:13:32,619 --> 00:13:34,143 You gotta dunk that shit! 189 00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:36,482 You gotta dunk that shit! 190 00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:38,522 Listen to me. Stay with me, Nate. 191 00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:40,657 Now, repeat after me, Nate: 192 00:13:40,828 --> 00:13:43,058 Goosfraba. 193 00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,095 Goos bIah bIah. 194 00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:47,756 Not ''bIah bIah,'' Nate. 195 00:13:48,102 --> 00:13:50,468 Goosfraba. 196 00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:53,232 Goosfraba. 197 00:13:53,407 --> 00:13:55,136 That's good. SIower. 198 00:13:55,309 --> 00:13:59,040 Goosfraba. 199 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,373 How do you feeI? 200 00:14:00,981 --> 00:14:01,970 Better. 201 00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:06,242 Good job, Nate. 202 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:09,082 That sound is a derivation of an oId Eskimo word... 203 00:14:09,256 --> 00:14:11,622 ...that mothers used to caIm their chiIdren. 204 00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,851 -I see. -Eskimos seem nice. 205 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,825 -They do. -I think Eskimos are smug. 206 00:14:16,997 --> 00:14:18,430 HoId that thought, Chuck. 207 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,624 So, Dave... 208 00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,634 ...teII us about yourseIf. 209 00:14:22,803 --> 00:14:23,792 Who are you? 210 00:14:24,271 --> 00:14:27,172 WeII, I am an executive assistant... 211 00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:29,673 ...at a major pet products company. 212 00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:34,811 I don't want you to teII us what you do. I want you to teII us who you are. 213 00:14:35,449 --> 00:14:36,916 AII right. 214 00:14:38,318 --> 00:14:40,115 I'm a pretty good guy. 215 00:14:40,621 --> 00:14:43,181 I Iike pIaying tennis on occasion.... 216 00:14:43,457 --> 00:14:46,620 AIso, not your hobbies, Dave, just simpIe: 217 00:14:46,794 --> 00:14:48,318 TeII us who you are. 218 00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:50,961 I just.... 219 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:56,330 Maybe you couId give me an exampIe of what a good answer wouId be. 220 00:14:56,503 --> 00:14:57,629 What did you say? 221 00:14:58,705 --> 00:15:01,105 You want Lou to teII you who you are? 222 00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:05,037 No, I just.... 223 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,281 I'm a nice, easygoing man. 224 00:15:11,185 --> 00:15:13,710 I might be a IittIe bit indecisive at times. 225 00:15:13,887 --> 00:15:17,254 Dave, you're describing your personaIity. 226 00:15:17,424 --> 00:15:18,755 I want to know... 227 00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:22,687 -...who you are. -What the heII do you want me to say? 228 00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:31,459 I mean, I'm sorry. I just.... I want to answer your question. 229 00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:34,732 I'm just not doing it right, I guess. 230 00:15:34,908 --> 00:15:38,708 I think we're getting a picture, Dave. 231 00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:41,814 -Let's move on. -Dr. RydeII, I'd Iike to know something. 232 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,143 Why is it that Chuck thinks he can smoke? 233 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:47,913 I do whatever I want when I want, you IittIe Spanish fruit topping. 234 00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:50,954 Honey, at Ieast I didn't make my aunt pregnant. 235 00:15:54,928 --> 00:15:56,759 What are you Iaughing at, Dave? 236 00:15:58,365 --> 00:16:01,596 Just Iaughing. I don't know. I'm not Iaughing at you. 237 00:16:01,768 --> 00:16:04,965 Were you Iaughing with me? Because I'm not Iaughing. 238 00:16:05,973 --> 00:16:08,305 Am I out of Iine, or is this guy pushing me? 239 00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:11,043 WeII, how do you feeI, Chuck? 240 00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:15,271 I went from happy to angry, skipped sad. Now I feeI Iike kicking his ass. 241 00:16:15,649 --> 00:16:17,207 Then we'II see who's Iaughing. 242 00:16:17,651 --> 00:16:21,087 What? Think you're better than me because you've got both your nuts? 243 00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:25,251 AII right, man. AII right. Come on. Come on, big boy. Pretty boy. 244 00:16:26,727 --> 00:16:31,027 AII right. Is it worth going back to the penitentiary, Chuck? 245 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:34,429 -So he's Iaughing at you. -I'm not Iaughing at him. 246 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,905 Goosfraba. 247 00:16:45,112 --> 00:16:48,013 -Goosfraba. -Okay. 248 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,810 Good job, Chuck. That was reaIIy good. 249 00:16:53,787 --> 00:16:54,755 Where's the coffee cake? I was Iooking forward to it. 250 00:16:54,755 --> 00:16:56,450 Where's the coffee cake? I was Iooking forward to it. 251 00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:59,387 I haven't been to the Actors Studio in quite some time. 252 00:16:59,593 --> 00:17:02,460 -I'm sure your audition wiII go weII. -Thanks. I hope so. 253 00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:03,823 -Good night. -AII right. 254 00:17:03,997 --> 00:17:05,259 -Thanks, Buddy. -Bye-bye. 255 00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:07,627 That was a IittIe bit insane. 256 00:17:07,935 --> 00:17:11,098 If I had to do 20 hours of that, I'd end up kiIIing myseIf. 257 00:17:11,271 --> 00:17:12,260 Here you go. 258 00:17:12,472 --> 00:17:15,407 Twenty hours in my cIass wouId be pointIess for you. 259 00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:16,834 I agree. 260 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:20,638 I think I'm going to recommend to the court that we doubIe your time. 261 00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:22,409 What do you mean? 262 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:24,139 Let me expIain something. 263 00:17:24,351 --> 00:17:27,980 There are two kinds of angry peopIe: expIosive and impIosive. 264 00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:32,314 ExpIosive is the kind of individuaI that you see screaming at the cashier... 265 00:17:32,526 --> 00:17:34,391 ...for not taking their coupons. 266 00:17:34,695 --> 00:17:39,325 ImpIosive is the cashier who remains quiet, day after day... 267 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:42,991 ...and finaIIy shoots everyone in the store. 268 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,762 You're the cashier. 269 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:49,773 No. I'm the guy hiding in the frozen food section diaIing 91 1 , I swear. 270 00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:52,068 I'm going to assign you an anger aIIy... 271 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,770 ...to heIp caIm you down when you're Iosing it. 272 00:17:55,048 --> 00:17:56,037 Chuck. 273 00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,979 Not Chuck. Give me the sports guy, or the porno girIs. 274 00:17:59,152 --> 00:18:00,949 Heard we're partnering up, huh? 275 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,744 -Yes. -Here's my number. 276 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,481 Great. ''You're going to die, bitch.'' 277 00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:08,554 Oops, that's a Ietter I'm writing to my father. 278 00:18:08,762 --> 00:18:10,320 -I see. -My bad. Here. 279 00:18:10,564 --> 00:18:12,896 That's the number. Good. Thank you. 280 00:18:14,835 --> 00:18:17,463 Dave and Chuck... 281 00:18:18,705 --> 00:18:21,936 ...working together as a team. 282 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:26,636 -It's a win-win situation. -Yeah, feeIs it. 283 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,641 Dave's particuIars. 284 00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,647 I'II see you soon. 285 00:18:38,358 --> 00:18:40,485 The Yanks are great this season. 286 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,095 Dave thinks they couId beat SeattIe's win record. 287 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,663 Remember at Brown when we saw Ron Guidry win his 20th? 288 00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,664 Oh, man. He was on fire that year. 289 00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:49,995 We couId've been too. 290 00:18:50,203 --> 00:18:53,468 Andrew, don't start or I can't hang out with you anymore. 291 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,734 Sorry, it's just hard. I'II never meet anyone as good as you. 292 00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:59,503 You wiII. She'II be a very Iucky Iady. 293 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,273 Thanks for being my best friend. 294 00:19:04,151 --> 00:19:05,345 Linda. 295 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,680 -Hey, Dave. -Andrew. 296 00:19:07,888 --> 00:19:09,446 Good to see you guys hugging. 297 00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,224 How was the doctor? 298 00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:14,392 Psychotic. 299 00:19:14,628 --> 00:19:18,189 WeII, did you get any good promotion news from Mr. Head? 300 00:19:18,398 --> 00:19:21,299 I wasn't abIe to taIk to him about that yet, but I wiII. 301 00:19:22,903 --> 00:19:25,633 Not that crowded here. You'd think it wouId be packed. 302 00:19:25,806 --> 00:19:29,936 I rented the pIace. I figured it'd be more fun if it was just Brown aIumni. 303 00:19:30,143 --> 00:19:32,441 Where'd you go to coIIege again? 304 00:19:32,612 --> 00:19:34,307 Trenton Community CoIIege. 305 00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:39,714 You had a hard day. Let me buy you a miIk shake. 306 00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:41,613 Later, Andrew. 307 00:19:41,822 --> 00:19:44,950 --once you cast your line in, so during retrieval... 308 00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:48,060 ...it'll help you to create a realistic and a erratic.... 309 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,656 Hey, Dave. 310 00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:55,561 -Hey. Andrew, what's up? -Not much. 311 00:19:55,969 --> 00:19:58,335 You always try to simulate live bait. 312 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:03,066 Okay, they got fishing whiIe you go to the bathroom. That's nice. 313 00:20:03,276 --> 00:20:05,437 Yep. Bass fishing. Hey, he caught one. 314 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,009 Be aware of your presentation... 315 00:20:08,181 --> 00:20:11,912 ...and make sure that, as you work it along.... 316 00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:13,411 Oh, yeah. 317 00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:17,654 CongratuIations. 318 00:20:17,824 --> 00:20:20,520 Now that is a big one, folks. 319 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:29,992 -AIways a bIast being with your friends. -It was a great night. 320 00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:32,161 Yankees winning, beer and hot dogs. 321 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,499 Yeah, you Iike those foot-Iong hot dogs, don't you? 322 00:20:36,676 --> 00:20:41,443 So I saw your boy Andrew at the urinaI. 323 00:20:41,882 --> 00:20:43,281 Saw his... 324 00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:46,145 -...thing. -You were Iooking? 325 00:20:46,353 --> 00:20:48,116 Yeah, unfortunateIy. 326 00:20:48,355 --> 00:20:52,849 So, now, did this guy grow up near a nucIear power pIant or something? 327 00:20:53,193 --> 00:20:54,751 What are you taIking about? 328 00:20:54,928 --> 00:20:59,331 Never reaIIy seen nothing Iike that before. Didn't it used to scare you? 329 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,622 I never saw it. 330 00:21:01,568 --> 00:21:02,626 You never saw it? 331 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:06,295 No, I toId you, I never sIept with him. Why, is it huge? 332 00:21:06,973 --> 00:21:08,702 No. No. No. No. 333 00:21:08,909 --> 00:21:12,367 It's actuaIIy quite petite. 334 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,580 I feIt bad for him. 335 00:21:15,048 --> 00:21:18,415 It Iooked Iike it beIonged on a baby and it had a funny coIor. 336 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,247 I bet he got a Iot of snickers in the Iocker room. 337 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:24,423 Like, ''What the heII's that thing?'' 338 00:21:24,591 --> 00:21:27,924 When you're in a Iocker room, you must feeI good about yourseIf. 339 00:21:28,094 --> 00:21:32,895 I do. If there are 20 naked guys in there, I'm usuaIIy in the top 1 8. 340 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,668 -Which isn't bad. -You're doing reaIIy good. 341 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,167 Thanks. 342 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:44,742 -Who's that? -I don't know. Let me get rid of them. 343 00:21:46,446 --> 00:21:49,574 -HeIIo? -Dave, it's me, Chuck. 344 00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:52,313 -Who's Chuck? -Your anger aIIy. 345 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,350 I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood. 346 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:55,848 A very bad mood. 347 00:21:56,223 --> 00:21:59,750 I was fired from my ice-cream truck job today. No more FudgeicIes. 348 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,692 -What's an anger aIIy? -Who's that? 349 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:03,921 She making fun of me? 350 00:22:05,031 --> 00:22:07,226 No. That's my girIfriend. 351 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:11,630 You teII her to put a sock in it because I need to taIk to you right now! 352 00:22:12,105 --> 00:22:13,936 We're a IittIe busy right now. 353 00:22:14,274 --> 00:22:16,208 You're busy? We're aII busy, okay? 354 00:22:16,576 --> 00:22:20,034 You come down here before a bIack woIf swaIIows my brain! 355 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:33,090 After I got kicked out of the Army, I went through a reaI bad time: 356 00:22:33,260 --> 00:22:37,822 Hookers, booze, shooting hoIes in the ceiIing, screaming myseIf to sIeep. 357 00:22:38,598 --> 00:22:40,998 FinaIIy, my parents said I had to move out. 358 00:22:41,835 --> 00:22:45,066 I'm guessing that's when you decided to shack up with your aunt. 359 00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,369 Don't get cute, wiseass! 360 00:22:48,074 --> 00:22:49,098 But, yes. 361 00:22:50,944 --> 00:22:52,809 What's with the watch, huh? Am I boring you? 362 00:22:52,979 --> 00:22:57,848 We ordered the drinks 1 5 minutes ago and I kind of gotta get back. 363 00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:00,018 Miss? Excuse me, miss? 364 00:23:00,353 --> 00:23:03,151 Is this SIow And Stupid Waitress Day? 365 00:23:03,323 --> 00:23:05,416 I'm sorry. I be right with you. 366 00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:09,057 Damn, man, reminds me of these chicks back in the war. 367 00:23:09,229 --> 00:23:12,130 WouId give you the oId Iicky-Iicky, then fry your banana. 368 00:23:12,632 --> 00:23:13,929 SettIe. 369 00:23:18,038 --> 00:23:19,027 Did you see that? 370 00:23:19,539 --> 00:23:23,305 -See what? -That guy. He just gave me a Iook. 371 00:23:25,011 --> 00:23:26,308 He didn't give you a Iook. 372 00:23:26,546 --> 00:23:30,482 And I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter some kind of anti-Semitic remark. 373 00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:33,049 Are you Jewish? 374 00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:36,885 I couId be. But, no. HaIf Irish, haIf ItaIian, haIf Mexican. 375 00:23:38,558 --> 00:23:40,617 Let's go give those guys some tsuris. 376 00:23:41,261 --> 00:23:43,786 WeII, the guy on the Ieft is bIind, Chuck. 377 00:23:44,064 --> 00:23:45,793 I hear you. 378 00:23:46,232 --> 00:23:47,221 He's yours. 379 00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:49,397 No. That's not what I was saying. 380 00:23:50,937 --> 00:23:51,961 -Hey. -What the heII? 381 00:23:52,138 --> 00:23:54,971 -Got something against guys with hair? -What's going on? 382 00:24:01,081 --> 00:24:02,776 Don't! Stop it! Stop! 383 00:24:02,949 --> 00:24:05,110 Stop! Goosfraba! 384 00:24:05,285 --> 00:24:06,274 You piece of shit! 385 00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:16,194 Stop it! Stop it! 386 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:21,633 WeIcome back, Mr. Buznik. 387 00:24:22,202 --> 00:24:25,933 I see you've managed to brutaIize a cocktaiI waitress this time. 388 00:24:26,539 --> 00:24:29,997 I guess beating up stewardesses can get oId after a whiIe. 389 00:24:30,210 --> 00:24:32,303 FIight attendant, Your Honor. 390 00:24:32,612 --> 00:24:35,604 I didn't hit her on purpose, Your Honor. 391 00:24:35,815 --> 00:24:37,840 I was being attacked by someone... 392 00:24:38,051 --> 00:24:40,645 ...and whiIe I was trying to take away his.... 393 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:42,287 His.... 394 00:24:42,489 --> 00:24:45,151 Trying to take away my cane, Your Honor. 395 00:24:46,659 --> 00:24:49,457 You cracked a waitress in the face... 396 00:24:49,662 --> 00:24:52,324 ...whiIe attempting to steaI a bIind man's cane? 397 00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:56,496 Your Honor, we're not even sure how bIind this man reaIIy is. 398 00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:05,037 Okay. My bad. Moving on. 399 00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,471 Happy now, ass-wipe? 400 00:25:07,814 --> 00:25:11,079 Mr. Buznik, I don't know why you hate women. 401 00:25:11,317 --> 00:25:12,978 Maybe you don't know either... 402 00:25:13,186 --> 00:25:18,180 ...but I'II Iet you think about it whiIe you spend one year in a state prison. 403 00:25:18,425 --> 00:25:20,859 -Isn't that a bit harsh, Your Honor? -No! 404 00:25:21,528 --> 00:25:22,517 Okay. 405 00:25:26,032 --> 00:25:29,661 -May I approach, Your Honor? -By aII means, Dr. RydeII. 406 00:25:29,836 --> 00:25:30,860 Thank you. 407 00:25:40,346 --> 00:25:42,507 -It's been a whiIe. -Yes, it has. 408 00:25:42,682 --> 00:25:45,276 -You Iook marveIous, Brenda. -Thank you. 409 00:25:45,452 --> 00:25:49,320 So do you have a take on this Buznik guy? 410 00:25:49,522 --> 00:25:51,251 Is this good or bad? 411 00:25:51,825 --> 00:25:54,419 WeII, it's bad that he's taIking to her... 412 00:25:54,627 --> 00:25:56,254 ...but it's good that.... 413 00:25:57,597 --> 00:26:00,259 No, it's bad. It's aII bad. 414 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:04,158 -You think you can heIp him? -I think so, Your Honor. 415 00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:09,431 If I can't, I'II tear him apart with my bare hands. 416 00:26:17,283 --> 00:26:18,307 Mr. Buznik... 417 00:26:18,518 --> 00:26:21,976 ...because of the enormous respect I have for Dr. RydeII... 418 00:26:22,155 --> 00:26:26,854 ...I'm pIacing you in his intensive anger management program for 30 days. 419 00:26:27,026 --> 00:26:31,053 But if you faiI to strictIy adhere to the ruIes of his program... 420 00:26:31,231 --> 00:26:34,166 ...you wiII spend the next year in state prison. 421 00:26:47,413 --> 00:26:49,938 -Buddy? -Good evening. Ready to get it on? 422 00:26:50,116 --> 00:26:51,845 Get what on? What are you doing here? 423 00:26:52,018 --> 00:26:53,349 WeII, weII, weII. 424 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:54,885 The Iair of the rage rhino. 425 00:26:55,088 --> 00:26:58,023 I smeII the effIuvium of pain and frustration. 426 00:26:58,224 --> 00:27:00,419 -Where shouId we put my stuff? -What stuff? 427 00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:03,318 We've got 30 days to controI your anger. 428 00:27:03,530 --> 00:27:06,090 My approach dictates intense observation. 429 00:27:06,332 --> 00:27:09,165 What better vantage point than bunkmates? 430 00:27:09,903 --> 00:27:12,064 Put that there, Dan, thank you very much. 431 00:27:12,272 --> 00:27:17,505 No. No. No. I'm sorry. Guys, I don't think you shouId be moving in with me. 432 00:27:17,744 --> 00:27:18,904 Sit down, Dave. 433 00:27:21,347 --> 00:27:23,247 Let's be perfectIy cIear about this. 434 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:25,710 You've been deemed a threat to society. 435 00:27:25,919 --> 00:27:28,251 I beIieve that radicaI, round-the-cIock therapy... 436 00:27:28,421 --> 00:27:32,755 ...is the onIy way to effect a meaningfuI and positive change in your behavior. 437 00:27:32,992 --> 00:27:35,051 Now we can do it here or in prison. 438 00:27:35,261 --> 00:27:37,559 -Anything eIse, Dr. B? -No thanks, Dan. 439 00:27:37,764 --> 00:27:40,096 We'II instaII the wiretaps tomorrow. 440 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:41,289 Wiretaps? 441 00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:43,968 -Is this your CD coIIection? -Yes. 442 00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,133 Oh, my. 443 00:27:48,074 --> 00:27:49,598 What are you doing? 444 00:27:49,776 --> 00:27:52,973 I don't want you Iistening to any angry music. 445 00:27:53,146 --> 00:27:54,943 The Carpenters are angry? I mean.... 446 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,607 Don't be naive, Dave. 447 00:27:57,951 --> 00:28:00,943 ''CIose to You.'' ''We've OnIy Just Begun.'' 448 00:28:01,154 --> 00:28:03,884 Songs of madness and obsession. 449 00:28:05,124 --> 00:28:06,887 Who's going to pay for that? 450 00:28:07,093 --> 00:28:12,053 Retard your anger IeveI a few notches and Iisten to me. Can you do that? 451 00:28:12,465 --> 00:28:15,263 Yeah. It's retarded. I'm retarded. 452 00:28:16,302 --> 00:28:17,462 Good. 453 00:28:17,637 --> 00:28:21,300 Now then, we need to go over some ground ruIes. 454 00:28:24,143 --> 00:28:26,236 My girIfriend got me that. 455 00:28:28,181 --> 00:28:31,378 You're to refrain from vioIent acts incIuding verbaI assauIt... 456 00:28:31,551 --> 00:28:32,984 ...and vuIgar hand gestures. 457 00:28:33,186 --> 00:28:35,916 You may not use rage-enhancing substances... 458 00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:39,820 ...such as caffeine, nicotine, aIcohoI, crack cocaine... 459 00:28:40,026 --> 00:28:42,620 ...SIippy-FIippies, JeIIy Stingers, Trick Sticks... 460 00:28:42,795 --> 00:28:44,592 ...Bing Bangs or FIying WiIIards. 461 00:28:45,031 --> 00:28:47,761 AIso, if you are unabIe to stop masturbating... 462 00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:51,392 ...pIease do so without the use of any pornographic images... 463 00:28:51,604 --> 00:28:55,233 ...depicting quote-unquote ''angry sex.'' 464 00:28:55,441 --> 00:28:58,877 That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy... 465 00:28:59,045 --> 00:29:01,172 ...and I think you'II be pIeasantIy surprised... 466 00:29:01,347 --> 00:29:03,076 ...at how much fun we can have together. 467 00:29:03,249 --> 00:29:07,618 Jeez, without SIippy-FIippies or angry masturbating? How is that possibIe? 468 00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:11,985 Sarcasm is anger's ugIy cousin. From now on, unacceptabIe. 469 00:29:12,892 --> 00:29:14,757 Dave, I got this for you. 470 00:29:14,994 --> 00:29:17,519 It's a wonderfuIIy therapeutic tooI. 471 00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:20,528 Record your thoughts on this whenever you feeI angry. 472 00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:27,329 I'm feeIing angry right now because I onIy have one bed and no couch. 473 00:29:27,540 --> 00:29:28,905 Not a probIem. 474 00:29:31,344 --> 00:29:36,680 In Europe, it's not considered unusuaI for three or four men to share a bed. 475 00:29:37,016 --> 00:29:40,349 Yeah, weII, that's why I'm proud to be an American. 476 00:29:42,689 --> 00:29:44,020 By the way.... 477 00:29:49,729 --> 00:29:51,856 I Iike to sIeep in the nude. 478 00:30:28,401 --> 00:30:30,028 You hear that frog? 479 00:30:30,737 --> 00:30:31,726 Nope. 480 00:30:49,589 --> 00:30:50,578 What do you want? 481 00:30:50,790 --> 00:30:53,588 I'm just recording your demeanor upon awakening. 482 00:30:54,827 --> 00:30:57,762 Good to see you got your underwear back on. 483 00:30:58,431 --> 00:30:59,523 6:30? 484 00:30:59,766 --> 00:31:01,631 I don't gotta be up tiII 7. 485 00:31:01,834 --> 00:31:03,597 You've got to make my breakfast. 486 00:31:04,771 --> 00:31:07,934 Dave, cooking is very reIaxing and therapeutic. 487 00:31:08,441 --> 00:31:11,842 I want two eggs, over easy and unfertiIized... 488 00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:14,376 ...wheat toast, dry, and pIease... 489 00:31:14,547 --> 00:31:16,208 ...teII me you've got ketchup. 490 00:31:16,449 --> 00:31:18,474 There's a Denny's down the street. 491 00:31:18,684 --> 00:31:22,780 Not onIy do they have ketchup, they got the angriest waitresses I've seen. 492 00:31:22,955 --> 00:31:26,288 You couId have a bIast with the goosfraba thing down there. 493 00:31:26,626 --> 00:31:27,650 Lame-o. 494 00:31:49,882 --> 00:31:50,940 Your eggs. 495 00:31:59,826 --> 00:32:03,489 -HoIy shit! -I said over easy! ! 496 00:32:08,868 --> 00:32:10,233 Now, why did I do that? 497 00:32:10,837 --> 00:32:13,829 Because I refused to spoon with you Iast night? 498 00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:19,576 The angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. 499 00:32:21,180 --> 00:32:22,408 AIpha-Bits. 500 00:32:22,682 --> 00:32:26,948 No matter how oId I get, aIways a cuIinary deIight. 501 00:32:27,186 --> 00:32:30,713 No expIanation for the egg throwing. He's a psycho. 502 00:32:31,224 --> 00:32:34,557 Don't suIk, Dave. Eat. Sit down. 503 00:32:34,861 --> 00:32:36,692 We'II be off to work in a jiffy. 504 00:32:37,897 --> 00:32:42,698 ''We'II be off to work.'' Now, by ''we'II,'' I assume you mean just me, right? 505 00:32:42,869 --> 00:32:45,394 WeII, I have to join you at work. 506 00:32:45,605 --> 00:32:46,867 FuII contact. 507 00:32:47,406 --> 00:32:50,898 That wiII make me Iook nuts, Buddy, bringing a shrink to work... 508 00:32:51,110 --> 00:32:53,408 ...you whipping eggs at peopIe. I don't know. 509 00:32:53,646 --> 00:32:57,639 You must never be ashamed that you sought heIp for yourseIf, Dave. 510 00:32:57,850 --> 00:32:59,408 It's not a weakness. 511 00:33:02,255 --> 00:33:04,155 I mean, I gotta be there by 9:00. 512 00:33:04,357 --> 00:33:07,417 I don't think we'II make it on time. You're not even dressed. 513 00:33:07,593 --> 00:33:10,585 The TaImud says: ''Wherever you Iook... 514 00:33:11,597 --> 00:33:13,588 ...there's something to be seen.'' 515 00:33:14,467 --> 00:33:15,764 Look, Dave. 516 00:33:28,114 --> 00:33:31,106 -What exactIy was that aII about? -What? 517 00:33:31,284 --> 00:33:34,879 You just ran through a red Iight. Are you trying to get us both kiIIed? 518 00:33:35,054 --> 00:33:38,888 I'm a IittIe fIustered right now. I have to be to work in eight minutes. 519 00:33:39,492 --> 00:33:40,481 FIustered? 520 00:33:43,629 --> 00:33:46,530 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man! 521 00:33:46,699 --> 00:33:50,635 -HoIy shit! What are you doing? -I need you to unfIuster. 522 00:33:51,237 --> 00:33:54,468 My boss is going to go nuts on me if we're Iate, so pIease? 523 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,006 We wiII proceed when you are centered. 524 00:33:57,176 --> 00:33:58,541 I'm centered, I'm centered. 525 00:33:58,711 --> 00:34:01,544 There's 1 0,000 peopIe behind us. Let's go, crazy man. 526 00:34:04,183 --> 00:34:06,777 What is that? Is that good? 527 00:34:07,186 --> 00:34:08,778 We're going to sing a song. 528 00:34:09,155 --> 00:34:13,023 No. I don't want to sing a song. I want to go to.... I've gotta go. 529 00:34:13,192 --> 00:34:14,318 Here we go. 530 00:34:14,493 --> 00:34:18,224 The magic of Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim's... 531 00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:21,025 ... West Side Story. 532 00:34:22,702 --> 00:34:24,260 ''I FeeI Pretty.'' 533 00:34:25,371 --> 00:34:27,669 Get this moving. What the heII's your probIem? 534 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,400 Shut your pie-hoIe! We're working here! 535 00:34:30,843 --> 00:34:32,071 Wow. Sorry. 536 00:35:29,735 --> 00:35:31,635 Move your ass, dipshit! 537 00:35:42,448 --> 00:35:43,608 Burn in heII! 538 00:35:58,898 --> 00:36:00,058 Yes! 539 00:36:05,071 --> 00:36:06,299 You feeI stunning. 540 00:36:06,972 --> 00:36:07,961 And entrancing. 541 00:36:26,125 --> 00:36:27,922 You're Iate. 542 00:36:28,127 --> 00:36:31,563 Yes. There was a IittIe bit of a tie up on the bridge. 543 00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:34,723 I didn't ask for a traffic report. You're aIways Iate. 544 00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:38,336 Now is the first time I've been Iate. But you're right. I'm sorry. 545 00:36:38,504 --> 00:36:39,732 May I interject? 546 00:36:40,106 --> 00:36:43,564 You were about to say something eIse before you said, ''I'm sorry.'' 547 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:45,734 We mustn't absorb and repress. 548 00:36:45,911 --> 00:36:49,711 -Who's this? -I'm his anger management therapist. 549 00:36:50,316 --> 00:36:52,147 You're in anger management? 550 00:36:53,686 --> 00:36:56,086 TemporariIy, yeah. 551 00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:59,482 Do you remember the fIight to St. Louis... 552 00:36:59,692 --> 00:37:02,957 ...that I was on when they had to turn the pIane around? 553 00:37:03,129 --> 00:37:05,927 Yeah, yeah. Because of that unruIy passenger in coach. 554 00:37:06,098 --> 00:37:07,588 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 555 00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:10,031 He doesn't Iike peopIe touching his cIubs. 556 00:37:12,238 --> 00:37:15,230 WeII, that unruIy passenger was me. 557 00:37:15,407 --> 00:37:19,901 I got arrested at Kennedy. That's why I didn't make the next fIight. 558 00:37:20,546 --> 00:37:22,741 You said your apartment caught fire. 559 00:37:22,915 --> 00:37:26,112 DissembIing is a common tooI of the anger junkie. 560 00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:30,881 Might I have your first name, Mr. Head? And teII me it isn't Dick. 561 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:35,287 -It's Frank. -Fran. 562 00:37:36,061 --> 00:37:38,291 Isn't that normaIIy a girI's name? 563 00:37:39,131 --> 00:37:40,723 What went on on that fIight? 564 00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:44,068 To be honest with you, it was a mix-up. I.... 565 00:37:44,236 --> 00:37:46,670 Jibber jabber. Jibber jabbering. Mumbo jumbo. 566 00:37:46,839 --> 00:37:49,330 DeniaI. Key, key, key, key, key, key. 567 00:37:49,508 --> 00:37:52,807 Fran, your assistant beat the bejesus out of a fIight attendant. 568 00:37:52,978 --> 00:37:54,673 -I didn't. -You broke her nose. 569 00:37:54,847 --> 00:37:56,906 I broke the cocktaiI waitress's nose. 570 00:37:58,384 --> 00:38:01,012 I mean, I accidentaIIy did that. 571 00:38:01,187 --> 00:38:03,212 Dave, you have a disease. 572 00:38:03,389 --> 00:38:07,155 WouId you apoIogize if you were a diabetic? Of course not. 573 00:38:07,326 --> 00:38:11,422 Why do you feeI you have to apoIogize because you're suffering from T.A.S.? 574 00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:13,487 T.A.S.? 575 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,361 Toxic Anger Syndrome. 576 00:38:16,836 --> 00:38:18,201 I don't have T.A.S. 577 00:38:18,370 --> 00:38:21,498 He's angry. It's a sickness, not a crime, Fran. 578 00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:23,198 His name is Frank! 579 00:38:27,346 --> 00:38:29,780 No. I'm sorry. 580 00:38:42,127 --> 00:38:44,721 CIothes for cats isn't reaIIy a new idea... 581 00:38:44,897 --> 00:38:48,560 ...but there was never reaIIy a Iine made for overweight cats... 582 00:38:48,734 --> 00:38:51,669 ...who might feeI a IittIe seIf-conscious... 583 00:38:51,837 --> 00:38:53,930 ...about how they Iook in certain outfits. 584 00:38:54,106 --> 00:38:57,371 That's why I got the baggy sweater on him, to cover up his gut. 585 00:38:57,543 --> 00:39:00,376 And the beret to take attention off his pIump head. 586 00:39:00,546 --> 00:39:04,539 Oh, IittIe MeatbaII. You tie this up tight... 587 00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:07,049 ...and away goes the chin. 588 00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:08,948 I'm so handsome. 589 00:39:12,124 --> 00:39:15,924 -Hey, Dave. This is your office? -Andrew. 590 00:39:16,095 --> 00:39:18,689 -What are you doing here? -I pIayed goIf with Frank. 591 00:39:19,064 --> 00:39:22,363 He's friends with my dad. We're members of the same country cIub. 592 00:39:22,534 --> 00:39:25,560 ReaIIy? I've been wanting to pIay goIf with him a Iong time. 593 00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:27,706 -Is it awesome there? -It's nice. 594 00:39:32,578 --> 00:39:35,741 So, anyway, Dave, how's anger management going? 595 00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:38,114 Who toId you about that? 596 00:39:38,284 --> 00:39:40,878 Linda's my best friend. There's no secrets between us. 597 00:39:41,053 --> 00:39:44,682 For the Iove of Mike! This guy's your girI's best friend? 598 00:39:44,857 --> 00:39:47,758 No. I mean, I Iike to consider myseIf her best friend... 599 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:52,761 ...but Andrew is her best friend friend, if that makes any sense. 600 00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:56,060 You ought to goIf yourseIf. You Iook a IittIe stressed out. 601 00:39:58,103 --> 00:39:59,627 I gotta go. Bye. 602 00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:05,141 WeII, weII, weII. 603 00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:07,674 This guy's got quite a basket on him. 604 00:40:07,846 --> 00:40:09,973 ReaIIy? I didn't notice that. 605 00:40:10,349 --> 00:40:13,807 Do you reaIIy want the Iove of your Iife hanging around with a guy... 606 00:40:13,986 --> 00:40:17,547 ...who Iooks as though he couId satisfy a bIue whaIe? 607 00:40:18,023 --> 00:40:21,049 WeII, it's.... I'm doing okay myseIf, paI. 608 00:40:21,393 --> 00:40:23,861 Maybe it's the way his pants fit him. 609 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,890 What's up? 610 00:40:28,367 --> 00:40:30,961 -This is your young Iady? -That's my Linda. 611 00:40:31,136 --> 00:40:33,229 My, oh, my. 612 00:40:34,306 --> 00:40:37,742 I was toying with the notion that you were gay... 613 00:40:37,910 --> 00:40:40,276 ...because of the kitty-cat cIothes, so forth. 614 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,440 What does she do? 615 00:40:42,948 --> 00:40:46,816 She teaches poetry. Poetry teacher. 616 00:40:47,152 --> 00:40:48,983 I Iove poetry. 617 00:40:51,056 --> 00:40:53,820 Oh, my, my, my. It's.... 618 00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:56,988 Yes, it's a good picture of her. 619 00:41:00,232 --> 00:41:03,998 WeII, apparentIy Dr. RydeII has a history of unorthodox techniques. 620 00:41:04,169 --> 00:41:06,000 He's got a dozen Iawsuits pending. 621 00:41:06,171 --> 00:41:08,731 So it's not just me. This guy is nuts, isn't he? 622 00:41:08,907 --> 00:41:09,931 Or a genius. 623 00:41:10,109 --> 00:41:15,570 But if you couId prove that he's nuts: audiotape, video, picture, whatever... 624 00:41:15,748 --> 00:41:17,306 ...I'II arrange a hearing. 625 00:41:19,818 --> 00:41:21,649 I gotta go. I think he's coming. 626 00:41:32,264 --> 00:41:33,731 MeatbaII! 627 00:41:33,899 --> 00:41:35,890 You tub of goo, you scared the heII out of me. 628 00:41:41,140 --> 00:41:45,167 I don't care for the way you've ironed my shirts, Dave. Try it again. 629 00:41:45,344 --> 00:41:49,405 -I've been very patient with you. -Beware the fury of the patient man. 630 00:41:49,581 --> 00:41:52,175 -I'm serious! -Too serious. 631 00:41:52,384 --> 00:41:53,874 Get undressed. 632 00:41:54,453 --> 00:41:56,114 What did you say? 633 00:41:57,523 --> 00:41:58,785 Take off your cIothes. 634 00:41:58,957 --> 00:42:01,357 I've got a stress-reduction technique to show you. 635 00:42:01,527 --> 00:42:04,462 -It'II be good for you. -Take off my cIothes? 636 00:42:04,630 --> 00:42:06,860 Do you want to see me naked, Buddy? 637 00:42:09,301 --> 00:42:10,962 Are you a homophobe, Dave? 638 00:42:11,136 --> 00:42:16,301 No, I'm a puIIing-my-penis-out- in-front-of-you-a-phobe. 639 00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:20,276 Let's take a waIk on the wiId side. 640 00:42:34,326 --> 00:42:35,850 -What's up, baby? -Why are we here? 641 00:42:36,028 --> 00:42:37,256 I'm not a homophobe. 642 00:42:37,429 --> 00:42:40,125 My Iawyer's gay. His boyfriend is gay. 643 00:42:40,299 --> 00:42:42,790 And are they aII aware that you despise them? 644 00:42:43,235 --> 00:42:45,294 Looking for company, baby? 645 00:42:45,471 --> 00:42:47,302 No. We're not. Thank you. 646 00:42:47,473 --> 00:42:49,134 It's worth 50 bucks... 647 00:42:49,308 --> 00:42:54,075 ...if you get in the back seat with my friend here and have a IittIe chat. 648 00:42:54,246 --> 00:42:55,975 My pIeasure, Mr. Eyebrows. 649 00:42:58,117 --> 00:42:59,846 Oh, boy, here we go. 650 00:43:02,955 --> 00:43:05,515 -HeIIo. -Hey. Good to see you. 651 00:43:06,592 --> 00:43:09,584 -What's your name, baby? -MeIvin. 652 00:43:09,761 --> 00:43:12,355 His name is David. Don't dissembIe. 653 00:43:12,531 --> 00:43:15,932 I'm not dissembIing. That's my Hebrew name. 654 00:43:16,101 --> 00:43:19,434 I'm GaIaxia. That's my German name. 655 00:43:19,638 --> 00:43:20,935 Great. 656 00:43:21,106 --> 00:43:24,337 Where are you from originaIIy, Hebrew MeIvin? 657 00:43:24,510 --> 00:43:25,602 BrookIyn. 658 00:43:26,111 --> 00:43:29,171 What part of Germany do you haiI from? 659 00:43:29,348 --> 00:43:33,944 I'm from a IittIe Bavarian viIIage caIIed Lickin Zee Dickin. 660 00:43:34,119 --> 00:43:35,143 Care to visit? 661 00:43:35,654 --> 00:43:39,818 ActuaIIy, I Iike to spend most of my time... 662 00:43:39,992 --> 00:43:42,392 ...in GirIs Without Wieners-viIIe. 663 00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:44,728 I'm more comfortabIe there. 664 00:43:47,466 --> 00:43:50,060 He's just not used to maIe intimacy. 665 00:43:50,369 --> 00:43:53,532 WeII, that's okay, because I'm a Iady. 666 00:43:53,805 --> 00:43:55,238 Oops, no, I'm not. 667 00:43:55,407 --> 00:43:56,431 Whoa! There it is. 668 00:43:57,376 --> 00:44:00,174 I feeI Iike dancing. Dancing. 669 00:44:01,980 --> 00:44:02,969 Oh, my God. 670 00:44:03,549 --> 00:44:06,245 What does this have to do with anger management? 671 00:44:06,418 --> 00:44:10,013 -Oh, are you an angry boy? -No. 672 00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:11,747 Do you need some discipIine? 673 00:44:11,957 --> 00:44:13,151 No, thank you very-- 674 00:44:13,325 --> 00:44:15,418 Oh! Hey! Hey, watch that shit! 675 00:44:15,661 --> 00:44:18,926 Listen, Iadies! GentIeman! LentIeman! 676 00:44:19,097 --> 00:44:22,225 I'm not having sex with a she-maIe! ReIax! 677 00:44:22,401 --> 00:44:24,892 GaIaxia, you may get out of the car now. 678 00:44:25,070 --> 00:44:27,664 Your services are no Ionger required. 679 00:44:29,074 --> 00:44:30,336 You know what? 680 00:44:30,742 --> 00:44:32,437 You guys are freaks. 681 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:36,738 Give me the tape recorder. 682 00:44:39,351 --> 00:44:40,511 Come on. 683 00:44:43,288 --> 00:44:45,688 Patient number 1 35, David Buznik... 684 00:44:45,857 --> 00:44:49,623 ...has Iearned the difference between unheaIthy anger and righteous anger. 685 00:44:49,795 --> 00:44:54,323 Thus he has advanced to the second IeveI of my program. 686 00:44:54,533 --> 00:44:56,933 Great. Can I go throw up now? 687 00:45:02,474 --> 00:45:04,738 I'm a lady. Oops, no, I'm not. 688 00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:07,640 -Whoa, there it is. -I feel like dancing. 689 00:45:07,879 --> 00:45:11,042 Wasn't that sick? She Iooked Iike OIivia Newton-John... 690 00:45:11,216 --> 00:45:15,050 ...if she was reaIIy ugIy and had huge baIIs. 691 00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:17,882 But Buddy didn't order you to have sex. 692 00:45:18,056 --> 00:45:19,887 I'm getting a caII. PIease hang on. 693 00:45:20,425 --> 00:45:22,723 -HeIIo? -Is Buddy there? 694 00:45:23,428 --> 00:45:25,555 No, he's in the shower right now. 695 00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:27,391 This is Becky, his assistant. 696 00:45:27,566 --> 00:45:29,727 Just tell him his mom called from Boston. 697 00:45:29,935 --> 00:45:32,927 She said she's having some minor surgery. 698 00:45:33,105 --> 00:45:38,304 It's not serious, but she'll be at Boston County Hospital for the next two days. 699 00:45:50,155 --> 00:45:54,785 MiracIes of modern science. I am stimuIating my hair foIIicIes... 700 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,155 ...and brushing my teeth at the same time. 701 00:45:57,863 --> 00:45:59,728 It Iooks reaIIy good. 702 00:46:02,868 --> 00:46:03,857 What's the matter? 703 00:46:04,202 --> 00:46:07,831 Your mom. They took her to the hospitaI, Buddy. 704 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:09,907 What's wrong with my mother? 705 00:46:10,075 --> 00:46:12,976 She's having surgery. 706 00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:14,203 I'm sorry. 707 00:46:14,379 --> 00:46:18,042 -Is it serious? -When is surgery not serious? 708 00:46:18,383 --> 00:46:20,749 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. 709 00:46:20,952 --> 00:46:23,887 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 710 00:46:24,056 --> 00:46:27,048 ...see what's going on up there. 711 00:46:27,225 --> 00:46:30,683 Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you just go up there. 712 00:46:31,063 --> 00:46:33,998 Spend some quaIity time. I'II stay here. 713 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:35,793 It'II be good for you guys. 714 00:46:35,967 --> 00:46:37,400 Oh, God. 715 00:46:42,474 --> 00:46:46,171 You're aII I got, Mom. PIease don't Ieave me. 716 00:46:51,850 --> 00:46:54,648 No more cIam chowder. 717 00:46:57,089 --> 00:46:58,078 Buddy... 718 00:46:58,256 --> 00:46:59,746 ...it was a joke. 719 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,953 I'm sorry. You don't have to cry anymore. 720 00:47:04,930 --> 00:47:06,864 -A joke? -Yeah. 721 00:47:07,099 --> 00:47:08,691 Oh, boy. 722 00:47:08,934 --> 00:47:11,630 A joke. A jo-- I.... 723 00:47:11,837 --> 00:47:14,169 I can't beIieve that I feII for that one. 724 00:47:16,341 --> 00:47:19,071 I reaIIy thought my mother was having surgery. 725 00:47:20,579 --> 00:47:22,979 I'm going to get you back for that one. 726 00:47:27,018 --> 00:47:30,181 Just so you know, she reaIIy is having surgery. 727 00:47:33,024 --> 00:47:35,219 I thought you said you were joking. 728 00:47:35,427 --> 00:47:37,554 No, the serious part was the joke. 729 00:47:37,763 --> 00:47:41,096 She's having surgery, but just minor surgery. 730 00:47:42,033 --> 00:47:45,434 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 731 00:47:45,637 --> 00:47:48,800 ...see what's reaIIy going on up there. 732 00:47:48,974 --> 00:47:52,569 Why don't you--? You just shoot up there. I'II be here. 733 00:47:56,782 --> 00:47:57,771 What? 734 00:47:58,183 --> 00:48:01,778 -I can't beIieve he's making me go. -How come you guys aren't fIying? 735 00:48:01,953 --> 00:48:06,014 Because Dr. Cocoa Puff said IegaIIy I'm not aIIowed to get on a pIane. 736 00:48:06,191 --> 00:48:08,887 MeanwhiIe, I've got Head up my ass about that cataIog. 737 00:48:09,060 --> 00:48:11,824 I've got to get it done with nut-boy in Boston. 738 00:48:12,063 --> 00:48:14,054 Why can't Head write his own cataIog? 739 00:48:14,232 --> 00:48:16,666 Because I've got to earn that promotion. 740 00:48:16,835 --> 00:48:19,736 You've been doing his job for years. You shouId be his-- 741 00:48:19,905 --> 00:48:22,806 I'm sorry. I know this is reaIIy stressing you out. 742 00:48:22,974 --> 00:48:26,068 I'm sure that it's going to be over before you know it. 743 00:48:26,244 --> 00:48:29,407 Yeah, if I don't get caught popping any JeIIy Stingers. 744 00:48:29,581 --> 00:48:31,549 WeII, that's going to be tough! 745 00:48:42,260 --> 00:48:44,319 Oh, God. There he is. 746 00:48:44,496 --> 00:48:46,430 -That's him? -Yes. 747 00:48:49,501 --> 00:48:52,095 What? Oh. Okay, I'II hoId that. 748 00:48:52,504 --> 00:48:53,493 My-- 749 00:48:53,672 --> 00:48:55,333 The quiet warmth 750 00:48:55,507 --> 00:49:00,240 Smoldering beneath the rituals Of hope for familiarity 751 00:49:00,512 --> 00:49:03,208 A coursing underground river 752 00:49:03,381 --> 00:49:06,748 Pregnant with the chance currents Of knowledge and love 753 00:49:06,918 --> 00:49:10,251 -What? -That's my poem! I wrote that. 754 00:49:10,422 --> 00:49:11,684 I know. 755 00:49:11,857 --> 00:49:14,189 That is your poem. I Iove that poem. 756 00:49:14,359 --> 00:49:16,953 I found it crumpIed up behind the sports pages... 757 00:49:17,128 --> 00:49:19,221 ...on the fIoor of David's bedroom. 758 00:49:20,532 --> 00:49:25,026 -Shades of earIy EmiIy Dickinson. -Who was great on Police Woman. 759 00:49:25,303 --> 00:49:29,706 Thank you. And thank you for rescuing it from the fIoor. 760 00:49:31,142 --> 00:49:33,372 I think I better get going. 761 00:49:34,379 --> 00:49:37,678 I'II miss you, big guy, so take good care. 762 00:49:37,849 --> 00:49:39,714 -How about a kiss? -I'd Iove a kiss. 763 00:49:39,885 --> 00:49:42,649 I think she's taIking to me. I think I can handIe it. 764 00:49:42,821 --> 00:49:45,221 So why don't you back up an inch or two. 765 00:49:45,390 --> 00:49:46,482 Got it. 766 00:49:47,659 --> 00:49:49,422 Thank you. And, take care. 767 00:49:49,661 --> 00:49:51,720 Have a great trip, you guys. 768 00:49:51,897 --> 00:49:53,159 Oh, we wiII. 769 00:49:53,331 --> 00:49:54,593 Bye. 770 00:50:00,839 --> 00:50:01,863 What? 771 00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,373 Some mindIess nitwit is parked behind me. 772 00:50:05,577 --> 00:50:07,044 Good. Then we can't go. 773 00:50:07,212 --> 00:50:08,770 No, I can get out. 774 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:11,914 -Get in. -I don't know how you'II get out. 775 00:50:12,417 --> 00:50:16,114 Try to wiggIe out, you're going to get a ding. But you know everything. 776 00:50:21,493 --> 00:50:22,619 What's he doing? 777 00:50:32,637 --> 00:50:35,970 Another great performance by the master of anger controI. 778 00:50:38,643 --> 00:50:40,440 Now we're bumping into cars. 779 00:50:40,612 --> 00:50:43,274 I'm just making a IittIe room to back up. 780 00:50:43,448 --> 00:50:45,416 If I had Iost my temper... 781 00:50:45,584 --> 00:50:47,916 ...wouId I have had the presence of mind... 782 00:50:48,086 --> 00:50:51,055 ...to Ieave my card and my insurance information? 783 00:50:51,222 --> 00:50:54,817 Whatever, Mr. Insane-Vein-Popping- A-LittIe-Too-Far-Out-Of-His-Head-... 784 00:50:54,993 --> 00:50:56,517 ...WhiIe-Swinging-The-Bat Guy. 785 00:51:04,603 --> 00:51:06,901 I think you've got room to back up. 786 00:51:19,651 --> 00:51:22,449 Why haven't you taken Linda off the market? 787 00:51:22,621 --> 00:51:24,020 Do you think you can do better? 788 00:51:24,189 --> 00:51:27,420 I'm going to ask her to marry me when I'm ready. 789 00:51:27,592 --> 00:51:30,618 Nobody wants to settIe down with a 35-year-oId secretary. 790 00:51:30,795 --> 00:51:32,285 Procrastination, Dave. 791 00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:36,491 I'm not procrastinating. I think about how I'm going to pop the question. 792 00:51:36,668 --> 00:51:40,263 Husky down jacket. Husky Eskimo Iook. 793 00:51:40,438 --> 00:51:44,272 What's your pIan, ask her at a Yankee game? 794 00:51:45,510 --> 00:51:47,375 ActuaIIy, yes. How did you know? 795 00:51:47,545 --> 00:51:49,877 I said the corniest thing I couId think of. 796 00:51:50,048 --> 00:51:53,040 If you knew Linda, you'd know how uncorny it wouId be to her. 797 00:51:53,218 --> 00:51:55,914 Putting up a ''Marry me, pIease'' on the scoreboard... 798 00:51:56,087 --> 00:51:59,420 ...procIaiming my Iove for her in front of thousands of strangers. 799 00:52:00,125 --> 00:52:04,186 As you seem to have noticed, I'm a IittIe bit jumpy with pubIic affection. 800 00:52:04,896 --> 00:52:07,387 You seemed to be Iovey-dovey back there. 801 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,496 GIad you think that's funny. I gotta work. 802 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,651 A five-hour trip to find out Mommy had a jeIIy bean removed from her nose. 803 00:52:32,824 --> 00:52:35,224 I'm gIad I missed work. Can we eat now? 804 00:52:53,478 --> 00:52:55,503 You couId have her, you know. 805 00:52:57,415 --> 00:53:00,578 I'm sure she'd Iove to hang out with a goofy secretary... 806 00:53:00,752 --> 00:53:03,312 ...whose onIy taIent is nostriI wiggIing. 807 00:53:04,089 --> 00:53:06,421 -GirIs Iove that. -Dave... 808 00:53:06,591 --> 00:53:10,459 ...you've got a Iot more going for you than wiggIy nostriIs. 809 00:53:10,662 --> 00:53:13,426 I want you to go over there and ask that woman out. 810 00:53:14,099 --> 00:53:15,327 No, I got a girIfriend. 811 00:53:16,267 --> 00:53:20,670 I'm not teIIing you to eIope with her. Just go over and fIirt a IittIe bit. 812 00:53:20,839 --> 00:53:23,808 FIirting is cheating's ugIy cousin, Buddy. 813 00:53:24,008 --> 00:53:25,703 I'm not a cheater. 814 00:53:25,944 --> 00:53:29,573 Is it cheating if you're passed around the ceII bIock Iike a peace pipe? 815 00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:34,913 Because that is what's on the docket for you if you don't go and ask her out. 816 00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:36,280 Okay, Dave? 817 00:53:37,255 --> 00:53:38,449 Oh, God. 818 00:53:42,861 --> 00:53:44,522 That's my boy. 819 00:53:49,300 --> 00:53:50,824 Excuse me. 820 00:53:51,970 --> 00:53:55,701 I was wondering if I couId buy you a drink. I see that you have a drink... 821 00:53:55,874 --> 00:53:59,241 ...but I couId get you another when you're through with that one. 822 00:54:00,512 --> 00:54:02,446 Bite me. 823 00:54:03,915 --> 00:54:06,509 Nice meeting you. Okay. 824 00:54:11,055 --> 00:54:13,148 Can you guess why she rejected you? 825 00:54:13,324 --> 00:54:17,590 She wanted to be Iike the 2000 other girIs who said that to me growing up? 826 00:54:17,762 --> 00:54:20,322 No. SeIf-hypnotic negative imagery. 827 00:54:20,832 --> 00:54:24,495 Confidence is the key to winning a young Iady's attention. 828 00:54:25,370 --> 00:54:27,338 Now, Iisten to me very carefuIIy. 829 00:54:27,505 --> 00:54:30,099 -Approach Miss Thing again. -No. 830 00:54:30,275 --> 00:54:31,367 With confidence. 831 00:54:31,543 --> 00:54:33,670 And if she says no this time... 832 00:54:33,845 --> 00:54:37,178 ...I wiII admit that I am a faiIure as a therapist... 833 00:54:37,348 --> 00:54:39,509 ...and reIease you from my program. 834 00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:42,048 You'II reIease me from your program? 835 00:54:51,362 --> 00:54:53,762 Just go over there and repeat the foIIowing... 836 00:54:54,365 --> 00:54:55,662 ...verbatim: 837 00:54:55,900 --> 00:54:58,425 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 838 00:54:58,603 --> 00:55:01,970 ...but it's difficuIt for me to express myseIf... 839 00:55:02,140 --> 00:55:06,099 ...when I'm on the verge of expIoding in my pants. 840 00:55:10,181 --> 00:55:12,411 -Get out of here. -Trust me, Dave. 841 00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:16,151 If you are caIm as weII as witty, she wiII respond. 842 00:55:16,321 --> 00:55:19,722 Witty went out the window with the pants expIosion thing, thanks. 843 00:55:20,258 --> 00:55:22,158 My offer stands. 844 00:55:26,598 --> 00:55:28,589 So if I repeat that crazy shit... 845 00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:32,928 ...you probabIy stoIe from a porno fIick, you sick bastard... 846 00:55:33,404 --> 00:55:35,201 ...and get rejected... 847 00:55:35,373 --> 00:55:37,432 ...you'II reIease me from the program? 848 00:55:38,109 --> 00:55:39,098 ExactIy. 849 00:55:39,777 --> 00:55:41,335 Here we go. 850 00:55:44,215 --> 00:55:46,274 Go get them, Mr. Johnson. 851 00:56:11,943 --> 00:56:16,403 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 852 00:56:17,749 --> 00:56:23,085 ...but it's difficuIt for me... 853 00:56:23,988 --> 00:56:27,719 ...to express myseIf... 854 00:56:41,372 --> 00:56:44,364 ...when I am on the verge... 855 00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:50,210 ...of expIoding in my pants. 856 00:56:53,584 --> 00:56:56,678 You are too cute. 857 00:56:57,422 --> 00:56:58,855 Get the fuck out of here. 858 00:57:01,592 --> 00:57:03,583 -I'm Kendra. -I'm Dave. 859 00:57:03,861 --> 00:57:05,055 Let me buy you a drink. 860 00:57:06,531 --> 00:57:08,396 Can I get a cosmopoIitan? 861 00:57:17,075 --> 00:57:18,770 I couIdn't take it anymore... 862 00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:22,276 ...so finaIIy I just teII my boss: 863 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:26,576 ''Hey, baIdy, if I want crap out of you, I'II squeeze your head.'' 864 00:57:27,085 --> 00:57:30,919 -I didn't say that, but I shouId have. -You are so funny. 865 00:57:31,122 --> 00:57:34,091 Too bad you're Ieaving town. We couId have fun together. 866 00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:38,122 UnfortunateIy, I am Ieaving in the morning. 867 00:57:38,296 --> 00:57:40,628 In fact, I think I gotta get back to my friend. 868 00:57:48,940 --> 00:57:49,964 What's the matter? 869 00:57:51,275 --> 00:57:53,470 -You gotta be kidding me. -What's wrong? 870 00:57:53,678 --> 00:57:55,543 My friend took off on me. 871 00:57:55,780 --> 00:57:57,611 I can give you a ride. 872 00:57:57,782 --> 00:57:59,716 I don't even know where the guy Iives. 873 00:57:59,884 --> 00:58:02,910 We can hang out at my pIace untiI you get in touch with him. 874 00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:13,023 I bet there's Iike 50 RydeIIs in here. 875 00:58:13,231 --> 00:58:15,597 I shouIdn't eat this. I'm getting so fat. 876 00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:17,527 What? You're not fat. 877 00:58:17,702 --> 00:58:20,466 My cIothes hide it, but I'm getting gooey right here. 878 00:58:20,738 --> 00:58:22,171 I don't see any goo. 879 00:58:22,340 --> 00:58:24,900 You want to see goo, I'II show you my ass. 880 00:58:25,243 --> 00:58:28,144 WeII, I see it, and I didn't five years ago. 881 00:58:28,312 --> 00:58:31,179 I went out with this guy, and he wouIdn't sIeep with me. 882 00:58:31,349 --> 00:58:35,342 I asked him why, and he said when he saw me without my cIothes on... 883 00:58:36,254 --> 00:58:37,949 ...that I Iook Iike a porker. 884 00:58:38,122 --> 00:58:41,751 He was probabIy just nervous because you're beautifuI and.... 885 00:58:42,093 --> 00:58:45,119 Anyways, you're not a porker. You're the un-porker. 886 00:58:45,296 --> 00:58:47,161 You're SizzIean. 887 00:58:50,001 --> 00:58:53,493 -You're so sweet, Dave. -WeII, you're sweet, Kendra. 888 00:58:53,671 --> 00:58:57,732 Thanks for having me here. He said her name was Rose. 889 00:58:58,009 --> 00:58:59,408 Rose. 890 00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:03,745 Rose RydeII. Rose RydeII. Rose RydeII. 891 00:59:03,915 --> 00:59:06,110 Rose RydeII! I got it! 892 00:59:10,755 --> 00:59:11,744 Kendra... 893 00:59:12,857 --> 00:59:16,020 ...even though I'd Iove to see you take that bra off... 894 00:59:16,260 --> 00:59:20,560 ...because it represents a team I've hated my entire Iife... 895 00:59:20,965 --> 00:59:23,024 ...I think you gotta keep it on. 896 00:59:23,201 --> 00:59:24,293 Why? 897 00:59:25,203 --> 00:59:27,603 Because I got a girIfriend. 898 00:59:30,241 --> 00:59:32,368 I'm not a chiId, Dave. 899 00:59:32,577 --> 00:59:35,910 If you think I'm a porker, then just come right out and say it. 900 00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:37,809 No. I don't think you're a porker. 901 00:59:37,982 --> 00:59:40,780 Then why when the idea of sIeeping with me comes up... 902 00:59:40,952 --> 00:59:43,250 ...do you aII of a sudden have a ''girIfriend''? 903 00:59:43,421 --> 00:59:45,981 Because I do. I do. I have a girIfriend. 904 00:59:46,157 --> 00:59:48,057 Said the Iiar to the beached whaIe! 905 00:59:48,226 --> 00:59:49,887 You're not a beached whaIe. 906 00:59:50,061 --> 00:59:52,188 If anything, you couId even gain a few pounds. 907 00:59:53,297 --> 00:59:55,697 So now I'm too skinny for you? 908 00:59:55,867 --> 00:59:57,266 No. I didn't mean that. 909 00:59:57,435 --> 01:00:00,461 -Is this what you want, Dave? -No. 910 01:00:00,638 --> 01:00:02,265 If I put on a few pounds... 911 01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:06,240 ...wiII you be abIe to stifIe your vomit Iong enough to have sex with me?! 912 01:00:06,611 --> 01:00:07,942 HoIy shit. 913 01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,411 Are you such a hot stud that you'II break me in two?! 914 01:00:11,582 --> 01:00:14,915 You're angry right now. Wanna sing? Do you know ''I FeeI Pretty''? 915 01:00:16,621 --> 01:00:18,418 -Get out! Get out! -Stop! 916 01:00:18,589 --> 01:00:19,783 Get out! 917 01:00:19,991 --> 01:00:21,754 Get out! ! 918 01:00:22,293 --> 01:00:23,658 Porker! 919 01:00:23,861 --> 01:00:24,850 Fatty! 920 01:00:25,696 --> 01:00:27,687 No! ! 921 01:00:41,112 --> 01:00:42,204 How did it go, paI? 922 01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,472 -Why'd you ditch me? -What are you taIking about? 923 01:00:45,650 --> 01:00:47,208 You gave me the signaI. 924 01:00:47,485 --> 01:00:49,510 I didn't give you the signaI to Ieave. 925 01:00:49,687 --> 01:00:53,282 I gave you the signaI to say your gross pickup Iine actuaIIy worked. 926 01:00:53,457 --> 01:00:55,391 WeII, of course it did. 927 01:00:55,793 --> 01:00:59,126 So did LittIe Davey need some anger management? 928 01:00:59,297 --> 01:01:01,765 -That chick was kiIIer. -SeriaI kiIIer. 929 01:01:01,933 --> 01:01:04,401 She tried to chocoIate me to death. 930 01:01:04,569 --> 01:01:06,628 Anyways, I don't cheat on Linda. 931 01:01:07,672 --> 01:01:11,108 -Speaking of Linda, she caIIed earIier. -Oh, yeah? 932 01:01:11,275 --> 01:01:14,676 She seemed a IittIe bit bent out of shape. 933 01:01:14,879 --> 01:01:18,212 -About what? -Your being out with another woman. 934 01:01:18,382 --> 01:01:21,442 -How wouId she know that? -I toId her. 935 01:01:21,619 --> 01:01:23,951 -What eIse couId I do? -What eIse couId you do? 936 01:01:24,121 --> 01:01:28,615 You couId've toId her something eIse. I was at the bank. I was at the store. 937 01:01:28,793 --> 01:01:31,728 I ate bad guacamoIe and I couIdn't stop shitting! 938 01:01:31,896 --> 01:01:33,727 Any of those wouId have been fine! 939 01:01:34,198 --> 01:01:36,962 WeII, I'm sorry, Dave, but I don't Iie for my patients. 940 01:01:37,134 --> 01:01:40,661 You want to Ieave your friend and run off and chase some hot babe... 941 01:01:40,838 --> 01:01:42,897 ...you can't expect me to cover for you. 942 01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:45,736 I did what you toId me to do, you sick, demented man. 943 01:01:49,380 --> 01:01:50,870 What are you Iaughing at? 944 01:01:51,949 --> 01:01:53,439 What's so funny? 945 01:01:55,119 --> 01:01:59,886 Kendra is an ex-patient of mine, an actress. Pretty good one too. 946 01:02:00,057 --> 01:02:04,551 I arranged for her to be in the bar and for you to pick her up. 947 01:02:08,399 --> 01:02:09,661 You were messing with me? 948 01:02:09,834 --> 01:02:12,564 Yeah. You know, just a joke between friends... 949 01:02:12,737 --> 01:02:16,104 ...Iike the one you puIIed on me about my dying mother. 950 01:02:16,274 --> 01:02:18,572 I toId you I'd get you back for that. 951 01:02:19,777 --> 01:02:20,766 AII right. 952 01:02:24,315 --> 01:02:26,510 So you reaIIy didn't taIk to Linda. 953 01:02:26,884 --> 01:02:30,285 Of course I did. That's what made it so funny. 954 01:02:33,124 --> 01:02:34,489 Where's your phone? 955 01:02:34,725 --> 01:02:38,957 She's not home, Dave. She went out with her paI Andrea. 956 01:02:39,297 --> 01:02:41,731 She doesn't know any Andreas. You mean Andrew? 957 01:02:41,932 --> 01:02:46,596 Yeah, that's it. Andrew, the testicIe with Iegs. 958 01:02:46,771 --> 01:02:49,331 ''The testicIe with Iegs.'' Great! ! 959 01:02:49,507 --> 01:02:53,136 Now wait a minute. CaIm down a bit. Try some deep breathing. 960 01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:56,246 Maybe just hum a IittIe ''I FeeI Pretty.'' 961 01:02:56,414 --> 01:02:59,975 No! ! How about you hum the ''I'm a Crazy AsshoIe'' song? 962 01:03:00,151 --> 01:03:02,881 And take me home, you psychotic piece of wacko. 963 01:03:03,788 --> 01:03:06,279 I never thought you'd take it Iike this. 964 01:03:17,268 --> 01:03:20,829 So, what, we're not going to taIk at aII? 965 01:03:23,507 --> 01:03:27,603 WouId you forgive me if I toId you I caIIed Linda Iast night... 966 01:03:27,778 --> 01:03:31,441 ...after our IittIe fracas and expIained that it was my fauIt? 967 01:03:31,816 --> 01:03:32,805 What did she say? 968 01:03:33,050 --> 01:03:38,317 WeII, she's not mad at you anymore, but she Iet me have it pretty good. 969 01:03:38,522 --> 01:03:40,615 You deserved it. I did nothing wrong. 970 01:03:40,791 --> 01:03:42,452 I know. I know. 971 01:03:44,295 --> 01:03:45,284 Friends? 972 01:03:47,898 --> 01:03:51,026 -Take a IittIe nap. -I am tired. 973 01:03:51,202 --> 01:03:53,033 WeII, you had a rough night. 974 01:04:06,817 --> 01:04:08,375 Stop with the cupcake! 975 01:04:09,854 --> 01:04:12,823 Rise and shine, Sir SnoozoIa. 976 01:04:13,657 --> 01:04:15,625 What's going on? Where are we? 977 01:04:15,793 --> 01:04:18,591 WeII, at a great deaI of expense and effort... 978 01:04:18,763 --> 01:04:23,496 ...we've managed to Iocate your grade schooI bête noire, Arnie Shankman. 979 01:04:23,667 --> 01:04:26,898 We do desire a confrontation with him, do we not? 980 01:04:27,671 --> 01:04:30,902 What? Do you mean the kid who buIIied me in fifth grade? 981 01:04:31,075 --> 01:04:35,068 Dave, I think it's pivotaI for you to confront your chiIdhood nemesis. 982 01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:38,940 Remember, for 22 more days, you are mine. 983 01:04:40,785 --> 01:04:42,548 This is where Arnie Shankman Iives? 984 01:04:46,757 --> 01:04:49,851 You're kidding me. You're going to make me confront a monk. 985 01:04:51,128 --> 01:04:52,356 Great. 986 01:04:58,269 --> 01:05:01,102 Are you ashamed that you never stood up to him? 987 01:05:01,272 --> 01:05:03,103 No. He was just a kid Iashing out... 988 01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:05,799 ...because his sister got sent to an insane asyIum. 989 01:05:05,976 --> 01:05:08,536 I'm surprised your research didn't teII you that. 990 01:05:09,647 --> 01:05:11,046 This doesn't Iook Iike him. 991 01:05:14,118 --> 01:05:16,211 Excuse me, Arnie Shankman? 992 01:05:17,455 --> 01:05:20,117 Sorry about waking you up. 993 01:05:20,891 --> 01:05:23,291 My name is Pana Kamanana... 994 01:05:23,794 --> 01:05:26,922 ...but, yes, I was once known as Arnie Shankman. 995 01:05:27,298 --> 01:05:28,458 Arnie.... 996 01:05:28,632 --> 01:05:31,123 Pana Kamanana... 997 01:05:31,569 --> 01:05:33,764 ...Dave Buznik from eIementary schooI. 998 01:05:35,239 --> 01:05:37,173 David Buznik. 999 01:05:37,475 --> 01:05:40,444 This is the Iast pIace I thought I'd find you, a monastery. 1000 01:05:40,611 --> 01:05:44,206 You couId say I've gone through a rather dramatic transformation. 1001 01:05:44,381 --> 01:05:46,611 CouId you excuse him for a second, Peanuts? 1002 01:05:48,652 --> 01:05:50,882 His name's not Peanuts. It's Pana Manapia. 1003 01:05:51,055 --> 01:05:54,491 You want me to fight a monk? He's not even aIIowed to hurt a pIant. 1004 01:05:54,658 --> 01:05:58,094 For Pete's sake, this is the monk that twisted your tits! 1005 01:05:58,262 --> 01:06:00,696 Confront him or you're going to prison! 1006 01:06:00,931 --> 01:06:03,456 AII right. AII right. AII right. 1007 01:06:09,006 --> 01:06:12,237 Anyways, what I wanted to say to you was... 1008 01:06:12,610 --> 01:06:16,774 ...when we were kids, you kind of buIIied me around a IittIe bit... 1009 01:06:16,947 --> 01:06:21,350 ...and I never reaIIy did anything to deserve that kind of treatment. 1010 01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:24,044 Of course not. I was a reaI cretin then. 1011 01:06:24,221 --> 01:06:26,689 I did a Iot of horribIe things as a kid. 1012 01:06:26,857 --> 01:06:30,122 I pushed you around. I caIIed you nasty names. 1013 01:06:30,294 --> 01:06:33,127 You puIIed my gym shorts down in front of Sara PIowman. 1014 01:06:34,732 --> 01:06:37,292 That actuaIIy was pretty funny. 1015 01:06:37,801 --> 01:06:39,962 Jeez, I don't think that it was. 1016 01:06:40,137 --> 01:06:43,402 Now, come, David. Humor is the spice of Iife. 1017 01:06:43,641 --> 01:06:45,609 The Iook on your face was priceIess. 1018 01:06:46,143 --> 01:06:48,668 ''Oh! Sara saw my pee-pee!'' 1019 01:06:49,747 --> 01:06:52,375 So Pena Iikes the spicy humor. 1020 01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:56,543 Maybe he'd enjoy the knee-sIapper you toId me about the great Buddha. 1021 01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:58,278 What did you say about Buddha? 1022 01:06:58,455 --> 01:07:02,084 Dave said, ''How does a guy who weighs over 600 pounds... 1023 01:07:02,259 --> 01:07:05,387 ...have the baIIs to teach peopIe about seIf-discipIine?'' 1024 01:07:06,497 --> 01:07:08,397 Let's not make fun of my God, here. 1025 01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:12,127 You know what eIse Dave finds particuIarIy piquant? 1026 01:07:12,303 --> 01:07:17,172 RecaIIing your nut-job sister struggIing with her underpants in a straitjacket. 1027 01:07:17,341 --> 01:07:18,672 You think that's funny? 1028 01:07:18,842 --> 01:07:20,935 Dave used to con her into getting naked... 1029 01:07:21,111 --> 01:07:23,875 ...by saying that her cIothes had ghosts in them. 1030 01:07:24,048 --> 01:07:25,345 That never happened. 1031 01:07:25,516 --> 01:07:27,006 Then he'd puII out his winkie... 1032 01:07:27,184 --> 01:07:30,381 ...and teII her it was a strawberry ice-cream cone. 1033 01:07:31,455 --> 01:07:34,185 Is that what you've come here to teII me? 1034 01:07:34,358 --> 01:07:37,225 Did you expose yourseIf... 1035 01:07:37,528 --> 01:07:38,722 ...to my sister? 1036 01:07:40,698 --> 01:07:45,032 -And don't shove me again. -It's shower-room humiIiation again. 1037 01:07:45,202 --> 01:07:48,694 He's giving you a wet wiIIie and making you chew on his jockstrap... 1038 01:07:48,872 --> 01:07:50,806 ...and fart bIossom and aII this. 1039 01:07:51,508 --> 01:07:55,945 Answer me, Buznik! Did you get it on with my sister? 1040 01:07:57,715 --> 01:07:59,706 Over and over again. 1041 01:08:01,051 --> 01:08:04,020 And she moaned Iike a wiIdebeest. 1042 01:08:04,188 --> 01:08:06,156 WiIdebeest. 1043 01:08:09,393 --> 01:08:11,327 Whoo! Now, that feIt good! 1044 01:08:11,495 --> 01:08:13,588 I wasn't expecting that from a Buddhist. 1045 01:08:14,898 --> 01:08:18,390 -I'm a IittIe pissed off right now. -You aII right? You're aII right. 1046 01:08:23,841 --> 01:08:25,968 David! David! No, David! 1047 01:08:26,143 --> 01:08:27,770 Easy, boy! 1048 01:08:27,945 --> 01:08:29,310 Sorry. 1049 01:08:30,414 --> 01:08:31,574 HeIp me, brother. 1050 01:08:31,782 --> 01:08:34,342 -HeIp me. -Okay. Come on. Come on. 1051 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:37,314 Okay, we're even. We're even now. 1052 01:08:37,588 --> 01:08:40,113 -I went crazy. I'm so sorry. -I started it. 1053 01:08:40,290 --> 01:08:41,814 -I started it. -It's aII right. 1054 01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:43,755 And I'm gonna finish it! 1055 01:08:45,029 --> 01:08:46,997 Now we're even, butt-Iick! 1056 01:08:47,364 --> 01:08:49,355 No! Don't! Don't! Don't! 1057 01:08:49,533 --> 01:08:53,264 ''What's that, Auntie Em? It's a twister!'' 1058 01:08:53,537 --> 01:08:55,061 My nippIes! 1059 01:08:55,239 --> 01:08:57,867 Pena! Look! Your sister's back. 1060 01:08:58,042 --> 01:09:00,442 I got Casper in my cIothes! 1061 01:09:02,613 --> 01:09:04,945 -Pretty good. -Thanks, baby. 1062 01:09:05,115 --> 01:09:06,104 I'II kiII you! 1063 01:09:07,051 --> 01:09:08,985 You want that rake? 1064 01:09:09,153 --> 01:09:11,781 You can't get that rake from me! 1065 01:09:11,955 --> 01:09:13,422 Look, everybody! 1066 01:09:13,590 --> 01:09:15,615 Pana Banana's got a heinie. 1067 01:09:15,793 --> 01:09:18,125 -He's got a heinie! -I give! 1068 01:09:18,295 --> 01:09:19,990 -I give! -AII right. I'm sorry. 1069 01:09:20,397 --> 01:09:23,628 -Friends? -You suck! 1070 01:09:26,704 --> 01:09:27,693 Shankman! 1071 01:09:27,871 --> 01:09:30,362 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 1072 01:09:30,541 --> 01:09:32,634 -I've seen enough. -HoId it right there. 1073 01:09:32,810 --> 01:09:35,040 This party's by invitation onIy. 1074 01:09:38,982 --> 01:09:41,212 Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! 1075 01:09:47,591 --> 01:09:49,582 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1076 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:57,826 HoId it back there! Come on, come on. 1077 01:09:58,001 --> 01:09:59,059 Start the car! 1078 01:09:59,236 --> 01:10:01,329 Go! Go! Go! Come on, Iet's go! 1079 01:10:01,505 --> 01:10:03,598 Now! Now! Now! Now! 1080 01:10:10,581 --> 01:10:11,741 Oh, boy! 1081 01:10:11,915 --> 01:10:13,746 We were Iike Butch and Sundance! 1082 01:10:13,917 --> 01:10:17,375 Oh, my God! I thought you were going to shoot somebody! 1083 01:10:21,458 --> 01:10:24,518 You reaIIy threw me some curves back there, kid. 1084 01:10:24,695 --> 01:10:27,425 I never expected it to go that way. 1085 01:10:27,865 --> 01:10:30,595 But you kicked some serious monk ass there, baby. 1086 01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:32,463 You're damn right, baby! 1087 01:10:32,703 --> 01:10:36,195 -How did it feeI? -I feeI good! I feeI incredibIe! 1088 01:10:36,440 --> 01:10:40,536 I feeI bad about moIesting his sister aII those times, but it's aII right! 1089 01:10:41,378 --> 01:10:45,314 -You reaIIy moIested a crazy girI? -No. Got you. 1090 01:10:47,651 --> 01:10:51,052 CongratuIations, keed, you've reached IeveI three. 1091 01:10:55,159 --> 01:10:57,957 I wouId never have done anything with that girI. 1092 01:10:58,128 --> 01:11:02,656 Don't worry. Dr. RydeII expIained everything to me, and I get it. 1093 01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:07,896 Dr. RydeII brought up an interesting fact about me being a procrastinator... 1094 01:11:08,071 --> 01:11:11,302 ...and I was going to wait for a Yankee game to do this... 1095 01:11:11,475 --> 01:11:12,669 ...but.... 1096 01:11:12,910 --> 01:11:16,903 I don't know. I.... It's something I wanted to say to you... 1097 01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:20,811 ...and I'm having a hard time saying it for some reason. But.... 1098 01:11:23,153 --> 01:11:27,249 It's just that monks, they taIk shit... 1099 01:11:27,424 --> 01:11:29,221 ...but they can't back it up. 1100 01:11:31,929 --> 01:11:34,898 That's what was so hard to say to me? 1101 01:11:40,504 --> 01:11:44,941 You know, when I was on the phone with Buddy, he gave me some advice. 1102 01:11:45,108 --> 01:11:49,044 That's great. His advice is a IittIe cuckoo... 1103 01:11:49,279 --> 01:11:51,179 ...but somehow it works. 1104 01:11:51,348 --> 01:11:54,511 WeII, then I guess I'II just do what he suggested. 1105 01:11:58,188 --> 01:12:01,157 I don't think that we shouId see each other for a whiIe. 1106 01:12:02,025 --> 01:12:06,223 Buddy thinks that a triaI separation wiII uItimateIy... 1107 01:12:07,264 --> 01:12:09,459 ...strengthen our reIationship. 1108 01:12:15,906 --> 01:12:19,034 I pIayed tennis, you dumb-ass! 1109 01:12:19,209 --> 01:12:22,372 I think we're gonna need another session or two Johnny Mac. 1110 01:12:22,546 --> 01:12:25,037 -You're back in the group. -Doc, are you insane! 1111 01:12:25,215 --> 01:12:27,115 -You said I was out! -You're in! 1112 01:12:27,284 --> 01:12:28,717 -Out! -In! 1113 01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:30,251 I'm changing the caII! 1114 01:12:30,420 --> 01:12:33,480 This is ridicuIous! What kind of stupid caII is that? 1115 01:12:33,657 --> 01:12:36,125 This is not the Davis Cup, John, this is group therapy. 1116 01:12:36,293 --> 01:12:38,454 Now go take a Fury Fighters nap, aII right? 1117 01:12:38,629 --> 01:12:40,927 -Don't gnash your teeth. -I'm sorry. 1118 01:12:41,098 --> 01:12:45,000 Now, what keys do we need to possess before we can--? 1119 01:12:45,168 --> 01:12:46,533 Dave. You're Iate. 1120 01:12:46,703 --> 01:12:49,638 -Can I taIk to you aIone, pIease? -Sure you can-- 1121 01:12:58,882 --> 01:13:01,646 You toId Linda we shouId have a triaI separation? 1122 01:13:01,852 --> 01:13:03,149 -Yes. -Yes?! 1123 01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:04,514 Yes! 1124 01:13:04,721 --> 01:13:08,350 Separating from Linda is a cruciaI part of our strategy. 1125 01:13:08,525 --> 01:13:10,755 My strategy is to keep my girIfriend. 1126 01:13:11,028 --> 01:13:14,191 AII right. StrictIy as a friend. 1127 01:13:14,731 --> 01:13:17,427 Linda's been thinking about Ieaving you for some time. 1128 01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:21,268 She Ioves you, but she recognizes you're a neurotic mess. 1129 01:13:21,538 --> 01:13:22,527 You're jeaIous... 1130 01:13:22,806 --> 01:13:27,004 ...seIf-Ioathing, resentfuI, insecure and a premature ejacuIator. 1131 01:13:27,377 --> 01:13:29,607 She toId you I was a premature ejacuIator? 1132 01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:31,145 That part I was assuming. 1133 01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,080 I haven't done that in, Iike, eight months. 1134 01:13:34,251 --> 01:13:39,712 Anyway, a triaI separation wiII make you both gain a deeper appreciation... 1135 01:13:39,957 --> 01:13:42,050 ...for David Buznik. 1136 01:13:42,626 --> 01:13:46,722 After she dates a coupIe of Iosers, she'II be begging you to take her back. 1137 01:13:51,568 --> 01:13:56,005 So I've been thinking about it, Linda... 1138 01:13:56,239 --> 01:14:00,733 ...and a triaI separation is exactIy what we need. 1139 01:14:00,944 --> 01:14:04,004 And if you want to start seeing... 1140 01:14:04,247 --> 01:14:06,943 ...other penises-- PeopIe... 1141 01:14:09,786 --> 01:14:11,481 ...I want you to feeI free. 1142 01:14:11,688 --> 01:14:13,656 You sound upset. Are you aII right? 1143 01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:20,828 I'm fine. Just date anybody you'd Iike. 1144 01:14:21,031 --> 01:14:22,931 And don't hoId back, okay? 1145 01:14:23,166 --> 01:14:27,330 Because there's a Iot of nice guys out there and I'm cooI with it. 1146 01:14:27,537 --> 01:14:29,095 I'II be strong. 1147 01:14:32,476 --> 01:14:35,570 So the guy asked me for change. I Iaughed. He cursed. 1148 01:14:35,746 --> 01:14:36,804 I whizzed on him. 1149 01:14:37,447 --> 01:14:40,644 -What eIse couId I do, huh? -You shouId've tossed a rock at him. 1150 01:14:40,884 --> 01:14:44,115 That's your soIution for everything. The guy's homeIess, right? 1151 01:14:44,354 --> 01:14:46,117 Let him be. Set your anger free. 1152 01:14:46,623 --> 01:14:50,525 Look at you, Lou. You've reaIIy caImed down since working with Dr. B. 1153 01:14:50,694 --> 01:14:52,628 -We aII have. -Hey, feIIas. 1154 01:14:53,230 --> 01:14:55,289 CouId you bring it down a IittIe bit? 1155 01:14:55,465 --> 01:14:58,298 We're trying to have dinner. The waIIs are reaIIy thin. 1156 01:14:58,468 --> 01:15:01,232 -This is a free country! -What's going on with you?! 1157 01:15:01,405 --> 01:15:03,737 -Are you crazy?! -Go in! Just go in. 1158 01:15:05,609 --> 01:15:07,577 Goosfraba! Goosfraba! 1159 01:15:07,744 --> 01:15:10,804 Goosfraba. 1160 01:15:11,081 --> 01:15:13,606 Very good. What are you guys doing here? 1161 01:15:13,817 --> 01:15:16,115 I need to see Dr. B. I'm in crisis. 1162 01:15:16,319 --> 01:15:18,947 He's not here. Why don't you go Iook for him? 1163 01:15:19,122 --> 01:15:23,582 Davey, your girIfriend stopped by and she dropped these off for you. 1164 01:15:24,828 --> 01:15:27,422 Those are her keys to my apartment. 1165 01:15:27,597 --> 01:15:29,622 I think your girIfriend's cheating on you. 1166 01:15:29,966 --> 01:15:32,628 -Why? -I heard her on her ceII phone... 1167 01:15:32,803 --> 01:15:34,498 ...taIking to a guy... 1168 01:15:35,005 --> 01:15:38,270 -...making a date. -I'm so sorry, Dave. 1169 01:15:38,675 --> 01:15:40,108 Andrew. 1170 01:15:40,343 --> 01:15:41,537 I'II kiII that guy. 1171 01:15:43,113 --> 01:15:46,514 She ain't cheating on me by the way. We agreed to take a break. 1172 01:15:46,683 --> 01:15:50,175 She's not taking a break from the oId sausage, huh? 1173 01:15:50,754 --> 01:15:51,743 Sorry. 1174 01:15:52,122 --> 01:15:56,115 She's meeting the Andrew at Mort's on 86th Street if you want to go watch. 1175 01:15:58,161 --> 01:16:00,493 No. No, I can't do that. 1176 01:16:06,136 --> 01:16:07,125 We're here. 1177 01:16:07,737 --> 01:16:10,900 -Both of you showed up? -You Iike Stacy better or something? 1178 01:16:11,074 --> 01:16:15,238 It's just that I want to go on a fake date to get my girIfriend jeaIous... 1179 01:16:15,412 --> 01:16:17,573 ...so I reaIIy onIy needed one of you guys. 1180 01:16:17,747 --> 01:16:19,681 WeII, now she'II be twice as jeaIous. 1181 01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:23,010 -So do you know the guy she's with? -I think I might. 1182 01:16:23,186 --> 01:16:24,483 Let me ask you something. 1183 01:16:24,654 --> 01:16:28,852 Because of your profession you probabIy have seen a Iot of them. 1184 01:16:29,025 --> 01:16:33,359 Does size count at aII, or is that just some weird thing guys think about? 1185 01:16:33,530 --> 01:16:36,397 This is where Gina and I aIways get into a heated debate. 1186 01:16:36,566 --> 01:16:38,397 I Iike them when they're reaIIy big. 1187 01:16:38,568 --> 01:16:41,264 And I think it's better when they're enormous. 1188 01:16:48,578 --> 01:16:49,977 Good evening. 1189 01:16:50,147 --> 01:16:52,274 TabIe for three? 1190 01:16:52,449 --> 01:16:55,316 -May we take your coats? -No. We're okay. 1191 01:16:55,485 --> 01:17:00,149 -The girIs wiII take their coats off. -WouId you Iike a boobs--? Booth? 1192 01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:07,958 ActuaIIy, couId you give us a tabIe overIooking that tabIe right there? 1193 01:17:08,131 --> 01:17:10,099 -Sure. Right this way. -Thank you. 1194 01:17:13,837 --> 01:17:16,863 Oh, my God. It's Stacy and Gina. 1195 01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:18,439 Who? 1196 01:17:18,608 --> 01:17:20,132 Nobody. 1197 01:17:20,343 --> 01:17:22,573 I'm so hungry I couId eat you, Dave. 1198 01:17:22,913 --> 01:17:24,403 Yummy. Yummy. 1199 01:17:25,715 --> 01:17:28,240 -Let's get wasted tonight. -DefiniteIy. 1200 01:17:28,418 --> 01:17:31,581 Have fun. Lucky son of a bitch. 1201 01:17:33,790 --> 01:17:35,690 What? 1202 01:17:37,694 --> 01:17:39,389 I can't beIieve this. 1203 01:17:39,563 --> 01:17:40,894 Excuse me. 1204 01:17:41,064 --> 01:17:45,728 Linda. I'm a IittIe embarrassed. I didn't know you were going to be here. 1205 01:17:45,936 --> 01:17:48,370 I guess not. Are those your friends? 1206 01:17:48,538 --> 01:17:52,304 I'm supposed to date other peopIe so I figured I'd give it a try. 1207 01:17:56,813 --> 01:18:00,305 Gina, can you stop sucking on Stacy's finger for one second? 1208 01:18:00,483 --> 01:18:02,644 I want to introduce you to somebody. 1209 01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:06,553 -Stacy, Gina, this is Linda. -Nice to meet you. 1210 01:18:06,823 --> 01:18:09,485 And I'd Iike you to meet my date. 1211 01:18:10,060 --> 01:18:12,824 Ladies, this is Buddy RydeII. 1212 01:18:13,363 --> 01:18:16,093 -Look, Dave, it's Buddy. -I see. 1213 01:18:16,266 --> 01:18:19,201 -You know Stacy and Gina? -Yes, yes, I do. 1214 01:18:19,369 --> 01:18:22,099 We're in Dave's anger group. Fury Fighters! 1215 01:18:23,707 --> 01:18:26,301 WeII, gee whiz. Here's your Rémy, Linda. 1216 01:18:26,509 --> 01:18:28,443 This is a bit awkward. 1217 01:18:28,612 --> 01:18:30,170 I mean, group members... 1218 01:18:30,347 --> 01:18:32,781 ...are not supposed to get romanticaIIy invoIved. 1219 01:18:32,949 --> 01:18:35,884 -Yeah! I agree with that. -You know that. 1220 01:18:36,052 --> 01:18:39,146 I'd Iike to taIk to you aIone for a second. 1221 01:18:39,322 --> 01:18:43,053 There's a rage controI technique I'd Iike to go over with you right now. 1222 01:18:43,226 --> 01:18:44,887 Of course. Excuse me-- 1223 01:18:46,396 --> 01:18:47,454 What? 1224 01:18:49,466 --> 01:18:51,900 -Two of the usuaI, Duke. -Coming right up, Dr. B. 1225 01:18:52,068 --> 01:18:54,935 You're the biggest backstabbing piece of crap I ever met. 1226 01:18:55,905 --> 01:18:57,065 What are you saying? 1227 01:18:57,240 --> 01:18:59,470 I'm trying to give you a hand. It's my job. 1228 01:18:59,643 --> 01:19:02,271 BuIIshit! Your job is to steaI my girIfriend?! 1229 01:19:02,479 --> 01:19:04,811 My job is trying to prevent Mr. Andrew... 1230 01:19:04,981 --> 01:19:07,916 ...from unIeashing the Whopper with Cheese. 1231 01:19:08,418 --> 01:19:11,114 That's right. Since you've been out of the picture... 1232 01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:13,984 ...Andrew's been burning up the wires night and day... 1233 01:19:14,257 --> 01:19:17,749 ...trying to rekindIe those hotsie-totsie nights up at Brown U. 1234 01:19:17,927 --> 01:19:20,794 -How wouId you know? -You think I onIy tapped your phone? 1235 01:19:20,997 --> 01:19:22,464 What was she saying? 1236 01:19:22,666 --> 01:19:26,432 The good news is, I aIready Iaunched a preemptive strike. 1237 01:19:26,603 --> 01:19:29,436 Now the situation is contained. 1238 01:19:29,606 --> 01:19:31,597 You and I controI the game. 1239 01:19:31,841 --> 01:19:32,830 How? 1240 01:19:33,009 --> 01:19:36,342 I wiII be uncharacteristicaIIy aggressiveIy boring. 1241 01:19:36,513 --> 01:19:40,449 I keep taIking about myseIf, acting arrogant and obnoxious. 1242 01:19:40,717 --> 01:19:43,550 When Linda sees what the dating worId is reaIIy Iike... 1243 01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:47,383 ...then guess who comes out smeIIing Iike a white mushroom? 1244 01:19:51,294 --> 01:19:54,730 -You swear to me this wiII work? -The baII's aIready up in the air. 1245 01:19:55,065 --> 01:19:57,898 IncidentaIIy, nice move bringing the girIs. 1246 01:19:58,568 --> 01:20:01,560 Very strong. Come on. 1247 01:20:01,738 --> 01:20:04,434 I'II see you at home in a haIf-hour, keed. 1248 01:20:07,077 --> 01:20:09,545 That's 25 doIIars, paI. 1249 01:20:09,713 --> 01:20:11,408 We don't.... 1250 01:20:45,515 --> 01:20:47,415 Where were you? It's 1 :00. 1251 01:20:47,584 --> 01:20:51,714 When you hear what happened, you'II bow down and worship me Iike a god. 1252 01:20:51,888 --> 01:20:54,015 -Better be good. Give it to me. -Okay. 1253 01:20:54,190 --> 01:20:57,250 After dinner, she insisted we go home. So we hop on the bus-- 1254 01:20:57,427 --> 01:21:00,089 The bus? You took the bus? What happened to your car? 1255 01:21:00,263 --> 01:21:01,890 I was way too smashed to drive. 1256 01:21:02,065 --> 01:21:07,298 I toId her I didn't want to waste money on a cab. That did not go down weII. 1257 01:21:08,371 --> 01:21:09,861 Okay. I Iike that. 1258 01:21:10,039 --> 01:21:12,200 So we get to her house... 1259 01:21:12,542 --> 01:21:15,705 ...we have some kind of a weird argument... 1260 01:21:15,879 --> 01:21:19,212 ...about the number of syIIabIes in a haiku. 1261 01:21:19,382 --> 01:21:20,747 Poetry garbage. 1262 01:21:20,950 --> 01:21:24,249 She said it was getting Iate, we kissed and I headed on home. 1263 01:21:25,288 --> 01:21:28,121 Now, you say you kissed? 1264 01:21:28,324 --> 01:21:30,986 It was nothing. LittIe five-second kiss. That's aII. 1265 01:21:31,161 --> 01:21:32,651 Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 1266 01:21:32,896 --> 01:21:35,387 You're having this horribIe evening. 1267 01:21:35,565 --> 01:21:39,001 -How do you end up kissing, again? -I wish I knew, keed. 1268 01:21:39,169 --> 01:21:41,763 We were both pretty geezed up. 1269 01:21:42,005 --> 01:21:45,839 One second we're fighting, and the next second we're Iaughing... 1270 01:21:46,075 --> 01:21:48,407 ...and then just a quick 1 0-second kiss. 1271 01:21:48,578 --> 01:21:51,046 I thought that you said five seconds. 1272 01:21:51,214 --> 01:21:52,875 First it was a five-second one... 1273 01:21:53,049 --> 01:21:56,416 ...and then a IittIe break because my beard gave her a tickIe. 1274 01:21:56,753 --> 01:21:59,551 She's cute. And then a 1 0-second Frencher. 1275 01:22:00,690 --> 01:22:04,922 You had your crazy, corroded tongue in my girIfriend's mouth? 1276 01:22:06,629 --> 01:22:09,462 Just a second. Just one second, Dave. 1277 01:22:09,699 --> 01:22:12,429 Dr. B, Iet it bip. 1278 01:22:13,102 --> 01:22:15,195 WeII, heIIo. 1279 01:22:17,106 --> 01:22:19,370 I shouIdn't reaIIy taIk right now. 1280 01:22:20,043 --> 01:22:22,705 WeII, I suppose you're right. 1281 01:22:24,113 --> 01:22:25,944 It's got to be done. 1282 01:22:27,550 --> 01:22:28,778 Who was that? Linda? 1283 01:22:32,956 --> 01:22:37,052 I've got some good news for you and some potentiaIIy upsetting news. 1284 01:22:37,227 --> 01:22:39,058 First, the good news. 1285 01:22:39,229 --> 01:22:41,891 I'm going to sign your papers. You're a free man. 1286 01:22:42,065 --> 01:22:44,295 Let me hear the potentiaIIy upsetting news. 1287 01:22:45,468 --> 01:22:48,960 Linda and I have faIIen for one another. 1288 01:22:49,138 --> 01:22:50,571 Pretty hard too. 1289 01:22:50,907 --> 01:22:53,967 David, I hope you beIieve me when I say this: 1290 01:22:54,143 --> 01:22:55,974 I didn't intend for this to happen. 1291 01:22:56,145 --> 01:22:58,909 It was no one's fauIt, I guess. It was just-- 1292 01:22:59,082 --> 01:23:00,640 Wait a minute. 1293 01:23:04,754 --> 01:23:06,688 I figured this out. 1294 01:23:13,663 --> 01:23:15,096 You're messing with me. 1295 01:23:15,798 --> 01:23:17,493 I wish I were, Dave. 1296 01:23:18,001 --> 01:23:22,836 However, I did insist that we not go forward without your bIessing... 1297 01:23:23,006 --> 01:23:27,943 ...because we're best friends. So, what do you say, Dave? 1298 01:23:28,511 --> 01:23:31,344 Is it aII right if I date your ex? 1299 01:23:35,785 --> 01:23:37,343 WeIcome back, Mr. Buznik. 1300 01:23:37,520 --> 01:23:40,182 I am appaIIed by your assauIt on Dr. RydeII. 1301 01:23:40,356 --> 01:23:43,757 ObviousIy, anger management has been a compIete faiIure for you. 1302 01:23:43,927 --> 01:23:47,886 I'm setting a triaI date for 3 weeks from today for attempted murder. 1303 01:23:48,064 --> 01:23:51,830 As for Dr. RydeII's safety, I'm issuing a restraining order. 1304 01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:55,334 Which means that at no time can you come within 500 feet of him... 1305 01:23:55,505 --> 01:23:57,871 ...or his IoveIy new girIfriend, Linda. 1306 01:23:58,041 --> 01:23:59,770 Court is adjourned. 1307 01:24:18,795 --> 01:24:20,524 Coming, Peaches. 1308 01:24:29,138 --> 01:24:30,833 Are you kidding me? 1309 01:24:36,613 --> 01:24:39,639 Numb-nuts, where's the cataIog for my Fat Cat cIothing Iine? 1310 01:24:39,816 --> 01:24:41,283 I said I'd have it by 3. 1311 01:24:42,885 --> 01:24:45,115 -Okay. -Get in gear. 1312 01:24:48,758 --> 01:24:50,191 I'm so sorry I'm Iate. 1313 01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:53,022 I hope you have it. My presentation's in two hours. 1314 01:24:53,196 --> 01:24:56,290 What's this? Your fat-shit cat's been sitting there aII day. 1315 01:24:56,666 --> 01:24:58,099 Don't worry about him. 1316 01:24:58,267 --> 01:25:01,168 Here you go. I think you're gonna Iike it. 1317 01:25:08,578 --> 01:25:09,670 It's good stuff. 1318 01:25:10,380 --> 01:25:12,348 That's a good picture, I think. 1319 01:25:14,183 --> 01:25:15,514 What the heII is this?! 1320 01:25:15,685 --> 01:25:18,745 You keep teIIing everybody you created the Husky Cat Iine. 1321 01:25:18,988 --> 01:25:21,422 I thought you'd want your picture in there. No? 1322 01:25:21,591 --> 01:25:23,889 Question: Can I get two couches in my office? 1323 01:25:24,060 --> 01:25:26,756 If friends come over, I want them to feeI comfortabIe. 1324 01:25:26,929 --> 01:25:27,987 What office? 1325 01:25:28,164 --> 01:25:32,533 Frank was nice enough to give me some creative executive position. 1326 01:25:34,437 --> 01:25:37,406 -You gave him the job that I wanted? -He earned it. 1327 01:25:37,573 --> 01:25:40,041 Why can't you be happy for me? Linda's gonna be. 1328 01:25:40,309 --> 01:25:43,073 Know something? I'm sick of you hanging out with Linda. 1329 01:25:43,246 --> 01:25:45,737 She dumped you 1 5 years ago. Get over it. 1330 01:25:45,915 --> 01:25:47,314 I wouIdn't worry about me. 1331 01:25:47,483 --> 01:25:50,680 It's your paI Buddy who's taking her to the Yankee game tonight. 1332 01:25:51,454 --> 01:25:52,887 Yankee game. 1333 01:25:54,157 --> 01:25:56,318 Did he steaI my proposaI idea? 1334 01:25:56,993 --> 01:25:59,621 Buznik, your behavior is unacceptabIe. 1335 01:26:00,830 --> 01:26:02,661 UnacceptabIe? 1336 01:26:03,332 --> 01:26:08,326 I've been getting your coffee and doing your work for five years now. 1337 01:26:08,504 --> 01:26:10,631 When a good position actuaIIy opens up... 1338 01:26:10,807 --> 01:26:13,207 ...you give it to the biggest dick in the worId? 1339 01:26:13,376 --> 01:26:17,312 I don't know about the worId, but it's definiteIy the biggest one in the room. 1340 01:26:18,681 --> 01:26:21,343 Now, when I started here... 1341 01:26:21,551 --> 01:26:24,520 ...I was promised advancement opportunities. 1342 01:26:24,721 --> 01:26:27,849 And breaking that promise, to me, is unacceptabIe. 1343 01:26:29,659 --> 01:26:32,753 You see? I goIf aIso. You shouId bring me sometime. 1344 01:26:32,929 --> 01:26:37,263 So when I get out of jaiI, sometime in the next two to five years... 1345 01:26:37,500 --> 01:26:42,164 ...I expect you to give me the position that Andrew just resigned from. 1346 01:26:42,839 --> 01:26:45,103 -Okay. -Great. 1347 01:26:45,374 --> 01:26:47,501 Have fun Iooking Iike CoIoneI KIink. 1348 01:26:50,146 --> 01:26:53,707 By the way, his name is not Fat-shit Cat, it's MeatbaII... 1349 01:26:53,883 --> 01:26:56,545 ...and he's eating your crab cakes right now. 1350 01:27:02,492 --> 01:27:06,394 -You starting to get excited? -Are you kidding? I'm out of my mind. 1351 01:27:06,562 --> 01:27:08,223 This is going to be some night. 1352 01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:12,729 Come on. Come on. 1353 01:27:22,578 --> 01:27:25,775 -Dr. B, how's it going? -Very weII, thank you. 1354 01:27:26,349 --> 01:27:28,442 AIways a thriII. Right this way. 1355 01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:33,748 Where the heII's a spot? Where's a spot? 1356 01:27:35,057 --> 01:27:36,149 Whoa! Watch it, man! 1357 01:27:36,325 --> 01:27:37,917 Your attention, please. 1358 01:27:38,094 --> 01:27:39,925 Before tonight's NationaI Anthem... 1359 01:27:40,096 --> 01:27:43,156 ...Metropolitan Opera star Robert Merrill... 1360 01:27:43,332 --> 01:27:48,099 ...will present a special moment for two special people. 1361 01:27:48,337 --> 01:27:50,328 I Iove when they do this. 1362 01:27:51,340 --> 01:27:55,037 -Good. -Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrill. 1363 01:28:10,092 --> 01:28:12,083 Linda?! Linda! 1364 01:28:31,614 --> 01:28:34,082 What the heII do you think you're doing? 1365 01:28:34,250 --> 01:28:35,683 Wait, don't I know you? 1366 01:28:35,852 --> 01:28:37,786 -Come on. -Where's your German accent? 1367 01:28:42,525 --> 01:28:44,390 You have me confused with somebody-- 1368 01:28:44,627 --> 01:28:47,289 I wanna get on the fieId. I'm a fan of Mr. MerriII's. 1369 01:28:47,463 --> 01:28:50,091 -There's no fans aIIowed on that fieId. -GaIaxia. 1370 01:28:51,167 --> 01:28:52,156 It's Gary. 1371 01:28:52,335 --> 01:28:55,930 Whatever. Someone eIse wiII marry my woman if you don't Iet me go. 1372 01:28:57,440 --> 01:29:00,534 -Hebrew MeIvin's in Iove. -Very much. 1373 01:29:02,111 --> 01:29:04,204 I can't stop Iove. 1374 01:29:04,447 --> 01:29:06,210 -Go. -Thank you. 1375 01:29:07,717 --> 01:29:10,982 Don't think I don't owe you a coupIe smacks by the way. 1376 01:29:12,188 --> 01:29:16,022 Good evening. Tonight, romance comes to Yankee Stadium. 1377 01:29:18,261 --> 01:29:20,593 Oh, my God, it's Dave. 1378 01:29:21,097 --> 01:29:22,894 What the heck are you doing here? 1379 01:29:23,065 --> 01:29:25,590 -I wanna borrow this for a second. -That's my mike! 1380 01:29:25,768 --> 01:29:27,258 Linda? Where are you? 1381 01:29:27,970 --> 01:29:29,267 Don't move. 1382 01:29:29,572 --> 01:29:32,006 Linda? Are you out there, honey? 1383 01:29:33,643 --> 01:29:35,668 Linda, I'm not mad at you. 1384 01:29:38,915 --> 01:29:40,075 Oh, shit. 1385 01:29:42,652 --> 01:29:44,677 I know that crazy man brought you here. 1386 01:29:46,822 --> 01:29:48,756 Davey's going crazy! 1387 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,689 I've done crazier stuff than that to win back a chick. 1388 01:29:51,861 --> 01:29:53,954 Once I ran naked through a subway station. 1389 01:29:54,130 --> 01:29:58,430 -How was that supposed to work? -I guess I never thought it through. 1390 01:30:00,269 --> 01:30:02,533 I gotta teII you something personaI! 1391 01:30:03,773 --> 01:30:05,365 This kid Iost his marbIes. 1392 01:30:07,276 --> 01:30:08,766 I'm over here! 1393 01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:13,781 Linda, think about what you're doing to us. 1394 01:30:16,285 --> 01:30:17,877 Sweet tackIe. Wow! 1395 01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:20,054 Dave just got IeveIed! 1396 01:30:20,990 --> 01:30:24,585 -Nobody messes with my microphone. -I'm sorry. 1397 01:30:24,860 --> 01:30:26,191 Bob? 1398 01:30:27,330 --> 01:30:29,594 -Everything aII right, Buddy? -Oh, yeah. 1399 01:30:29,765 --> 01:30:31,528 I've never seen you so excited. 1400 01:30:31,701 --> 01:30:34,636 It's not every day a man gets to propose marriage... 1401 01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,169 ...to the woman he Ioves. 1402 01:30:36,405 --> 01:30:39,238 Now, here's what I want you to put up on the scoreboard. 1403 01:30:39,408 --> 01:30:43,242 Linda! Linda, I've Ioved you since the day I met you! 1404 01:30:43,412 --> 01:30:45,573 I won't Iet you do this to us! 1405 01:30:46,949 --> 01:30:48,883 Don't marry him! 1406 01:30:49,218 --> 01:30:50,685 Don't marry him! 1407 01:30:52,021 --> 01:30:54,489 -Wait! -Hey, it's Mayor GiuIiani! 1408 01:30:54,657 --> 01:30:57,285 Let this man finish what he came here to say. 1409 01:30:58,194 --> 01:30:59,388 Let the man back in. 1410 01:30:59,595 --> 01:31:02,894 -Who was that guy? -I think it's BiII CIinton. 1411 01:31:05,434 --> 01:31:08,597 Thank you, Mayor GiuIiani. You're the man, by the way. 1412 01:31:10,406 --> 01:31:13,341 This cIown better hurry up. My arm's starting to ice over. 1413 01:31:13,509 --> 01:31:16,000 ChiII, Rocket. Goosfraba. 1414 01:31:16,178 --> 01:31:17,543 Goosfraba. 1415 01:31:18,247 --> 01:31:20,181 Goosfraba. 1416 01:31:23,019 --> 01:31:26,853 I can understand why you wanted to see other peopIe. I reaIIy can. 1417 01:31:27,289 --> 01:31:29,780 Buddy RydeII is a psycho! 1418 01:31:30,292 --> 01:31:32,624 But he was right about one thing. 1419 01:31:33,929 --> 01:31:35,920 I was an angry guy. 1420 01:31:36,465 --> 01:31:38,626 MainIy angry at myseIf... 1421 01:31:38,801 --> 01:31:41,861 ...for Ietting peopIe treat me Iike crap aII the time. 1422 01:31:42,304 --> 01:31:44,795 But I don't want to be that angry guy anymore. 1423 01:31:44,974 --> 01:31:46,373 I wanna change. 1424 01:31:46,709 --> 01:31:48,040 If you give me a chance... 1425 01:31:48,210 --> 01:31:52,044 ...I can show you that I got the guts to stand up for what I beIieve in. 1426 01:31:52,214 --> 01:31:53,806 And I beIieve in us, Linda. 1427 01:31:53,983 --> 01:31:58,147 I Iove you with aII my heart, and I know you Iove me back. 1428 01:31:59,021 --> 01:32:00,682 I shouId be your husband... 1429 01:32:01,257 --> 01:32:03,020 ...not that weirdo. 1430 01:32:04,493 --> 01:32:09,328 I want to have a famiIy with you. I want to have kids with you. 1431 01:32:09,498 --> 01:32:12,331 Kids who have your eyes... 1432 01:32:12,501 --> 01:32:13,900 ...and your Iips... 1433 01:32:14,503 --> 01:32:15,834 ...and my... 1434 01:32:16,572 --> 01:32:18,699 ...Iast name. That's aII I wish on them. 1435 01:32:21,010 --> 01:32:23,444 PIease marry me, Linda. 1436 01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:32,680 Before I make my decision, you have to do something for me. 1437 01:32:36,358 --> 01:32:39,521 You have to kiss me in front of all these people! 1438 01:32:45,501 --> 01:32:47,401 You can do it, David! 1439 01:32:49,371 --> 01:32:51,566 Give her a five-second Frencher! 1440 01:32:55,478 --> 01:32:57,742 Kiss her, David. 1441 01:32:58,647 --> 01:33:00,342 Kiss her, David. 1442 01:33:02,251 --> 01:33:04,082 Kiss her, David! 1443 01:33:04,987 --> 01:33:07,148 Kiss her, David. 1444 01:33:14,630 --> 01:33:16,791 Go Yankees! 1445 01:33:34,150 --> 01:33:36,345 Dave's a dirty boy. 1446 01:33:38,521 --> 01:33:40,182 That wasn't so bad, was it? 1447 01:33:40,623 --> 01:33:44,992 I can't beIieve you actuaIIy started to faII for that crazy man. 1448 01:33:45,161 --> 01:33:47,527 Buddy's not such a bad guy. 1449 01:33:52,935 --> 01:33:56,200 CongratuIations! You just graduated from anger management! 1450 01:34:18,827 --> 01:34:21,387 I'm gIad your car died. The train's romantic. 1451 01:34:21,564 --> 01:34:23,088 Don't change the subject. 1452 01:34:23,265 --> 01:34:28,134 You're teIIing me the past two weeks of my Iife was just therapy? 1453 01:34:28,337 --> 01:34:29,565 WeII.... 1454 01:34:29,972 --> 01:34:30,961 Yeah. 1455 01:34:31,307 --> 01:34:33,434 I met with Buddy after reading his book... 1456 01:34:33,609 --> 01:34:36,976 ...and I toId him about some of the things going on in your Iife... 1457 01:34:37,179 --> 01:34:42,139 ...and how upset it was making you and how nuts it was making me. 1458 01:34:43,819 --> 01:34:47,152 He said that he thought he couId heIp, but it wouId be tough. 1459 01:34:47,323 --> 01:34:49,314 So how much of this thing was a setup? 1460 01:34:49,558 --> 01:34:53,858 Well, the guy in your seat on the plane, the flight attendant, the judge... 1461 01:34:54,029 --> 01:34:56,020 ...they're all friends of Buddy's. 1462 01:34:56,198 --> 01:34:59,565 What about the air marshal who tasered me? Was he in on it? 1463 01:34:59,735 --> 01:35:01,566 No, he was just having a bad day. 1464 01:35:01,737 --> 01:35:04,331 Son of a bitch. 1465 01:35:16,051 --> 01:35:18,281 Skipper, how you doing? 1466 01:35:20,289 --> 01:35:23,349 Buddy RydeII, you're a great man. 1467 01:35:23,626 --> 01:35:26,993 I was just doing my job. I never doubted you for a minute. 1468 01:35:27,329 --> 01:35:29,695 Except when GaIaxia had ahoId of you. 1469 01:35:31,600 --> 01:35:33,932 Did you just caII that guy Buddy RydeII? 1470 01:35:35,337 --> 01:35:38,170 A guy named Buddy RydeII Ieft this card... 1471 01:35:38,340 --> 01:35:39,967 ...on what's Ieft of my Lexus! 1472 01:35:40,142 --> 01:35:42,736 Oh, yeah. For insurance purposes. 1473 01:35:42,911 --> 01:35:44,902 Your insurance was canceIed! 1474 01:35:47,249 --> 01:35:49,080 Grenada! 1475 01:35:49,918 --> 01:35:53,285 Don't point that gun at Buddy. I'm the one who smashed your car up. 1476 01:35:53,455 --> 01:35:54,581 -Dave?! -No! 1477 01:35:54,790 --> 01:35:56,280 I'm sick of guys Iike this. 1478 01:35:56,458 --> 01:35:58,790 You wanna mess with my friends, shoot me first. 1479 01:35:58,961 --> 01:36:00,189 -Don't! -Are you crazy? 1480 01:36:00,529 --> 01:36:01,689 SettIe down. 1481 01:36:01,864 --> 01:36:04,526 Butt out! Tough guy's going to Iearn a Iesson. 1482 01:36:05,868 --> 01:36:09,235 I'm not afraid. Dr. RydeII taught me not to be afraid of anybody. 1483 01:36:11,707 --> 01:36:13,868 Can I ask you a question, though? 1484 01:36:22,584 --> 01:36:24,211 Got you! 1485 01:36:28,223 --> 01:36:31,215 Dr. B, Davey just puIIed a joke on us! 1486 01:36:31,427 --> 01:36:33,759 And how does that make you feeI, Lou? 1487 01:36:45,908 --> 01:36:47,773 Chuck. 1488 01:36:47,943 --> 01:36:50,411 We were just doing a joke. That's my friend. 1489 01:36:50,612 --> 01:36:52,011 Are you okay? 1490 01:36:55,884 --> 01:36:58,352 He feeIs stunning.