(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(MUFFLED SHRIEKS)
(JAWS THEME PLAYING)
(GULPS)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
Hi. I'm Lenny.
(WHIMPERS)
Oh, little buddy, did I scare ya? I'm sorry.
Wake up. Wake up. Okay.
Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get you out in a jiffy.
You just keep holding your breath, little wormy.
- FRANKIE: Yo, Lenny! - Uh...
I'm coming, Frankie!
Well, move it! Come on. Pop's waiting.
Here we go. And... Gotcha!
Okay, buddy. You're free. Now escape. Go.
Just go. Cry freedom.
- (SHRIEKS) Oh. - (SCOFFS)
You almost gave me a heart attack.
Lenny, what are you doing?
What? I... I was just, uh...
Picking you flowers.
Hey. Mom said it's not okay to hit.
(GROANS)
Mom's not here.
(SINGING JAWS THEME) Dah-dum, dah-dum
Don't.
Dah-nah dah-nah Dah-nah dah-nah
LENNY: Don't!
Buh-nah-bun-nah
(SIGHS) That song gives me the creeps.
What do you mean? It's our theme song.
(STATIC CRACKLES)
Are they gone? Are they gone?
You sure?
Good morning, Southside Reef.
I'm Katie Current, keeping it current.
We've just received official confirmation.
The sharks are gone.
I repeat, the sharks are gone.
Don't worry
About a thing
'Cause every little thing
Is gonna be all right
Don't worry
About a thing
'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right
Mussel Crowe!
Jessica Shrimpson!
Cod Stewart!
KATIE: Up next, a mother of 800
tells us how she does it all.
But first, over to Janice for the traffic report.
- Thanks, Katie. - (SIREN BLARING)
Slight congestion here on the Interreef 95.
There's an overturned mackerel.
Authorities are trying to calm him down.
(SOBBING)
Get out those shell phones
and call into the boss 'cause you'll be late.
(YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
Don't you yell at me! My mother is your mother, okay?
(SONG CONTINUES)
Yeah. It's fake.
Fake? I worked eight years on that!
(ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY)
(SHOUTS) Oh!
According to the latest scallop poll,
fear of sharks is at an all-time high.
Join us tonight for an in-depth report.
How long must this reef live under siege?
Is there no hero among us?
Who can stop this shark menace?
Hi. I'm Oscar.
You might think you know, but you have no idea.
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Welcome to my crib.
The good life. The way the other half lives.
Check it out. I got my 60-inch Hi-Def flat-screen TV
with six-speaker Surround.
CD, DVD, PlayStation hookup,
and a 8-track player for those days
when you're feeling just a little...
(BEATBOXING)
...old school.
(LAUGHS)
'Cause even a superstar, Mack Daddy fish like me
has to have the basic necessities.
Yeah. Like money. (LAUGHING)
OSCAR: Come on, shorties. Why y'all messing with my fantasy?
'Cause you so broke, your bologna has no first name.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Oh, that's funny. That's very funny.
Hey, Oscar! Oscar! Over here!
I gotta talk to ya!
I'll be right there. Hang on to these for me.
- Oscar, you da fish. - Yo, dude.
Yo, Crazy Joe.
Now that you live in a great penthouse,
can I be your financial adviser?
That's a billboard, Crazy Joe.
You live in a billboard?
- No. - And they call me crazy.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, Oscar, look who came to visit.
(GASPS)
- Gotcha! - No. Don't do that.
Shouldn't you kids be in school?
Shouldn't you be at work?
Ooh, right back at me, huh? Little smart mouth.
I'm on my way. Y'all stay outta trouble.
And clean that stuff up.
See ya.
(ALL LAUGHING)
CRAZY JOE: See you, Oscar. (LAUGHING)
- (WHALE BELLOWING) - (WHALE SQUEALING)
Ooh!
OSCAR: Yo, yo. What's up?
Big O's in the house.
- Hi, Oscar. - (ALL SHOUTING)
- Hey! Hi, Oscar. - What's up?
Hey. Psych!
Yo, Johnson, is it lunch yet?
You just got here.
That's the point. (LAUGHS)
Hey, Headphone Guy.
TURTLES: Yeah.
Looking good, ladies.
- ALL: Hey, Oscar. - Unh, unh, unh.
Keep up the bad work.
Huh?
I'm already punched in?
- (PHONE RINGING) - Angie.
Good morning. Can I help you?
One wash and lube, please.
- Hot wax? - Please.
Kelp scrape? We're having a special. What do you say?
Why not? It's mating season.
- And I'm feeling lucky. - (PHONE RINGS)
Sykes Whale Wash. Whale of a wash, and the price...
Oh, my gosh.
(INDISTINCT DIALOG OVER PHONE)
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Oh. May I suggest a barnacle peel?
Removes lines and salt damage.
- Good. - Hey, Ang.
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh! Hi, Oscar.
Thanks for covering for me.
Yo. I'm sorry. Angie needs to get her freak on.
Would you hold for one moment, please?
- Thanks, dog. - Oscar.
Come on, Ang. Dance with me, Mama.
- (YELLS) - Let me see it.
- (SINGING) - Oh!
- Come on, Ang. - Oscar.
You're gonna get me fired.
Please. You fired?
Nah. That can't happen.
'Cause I would have absolutely no reason to come to work.
Oh. You don't mean that.
Of course I do.
You're, like, my best friend.
(GASPING)
(GROANS)
(STAMMERS) Oh, listen.
Tell me what you think about this.
This is, like, the best idea ever. All right?
It's a sure thing, guaranteed cash extravaganza.
Bottled water.
- Oh, no. - All I need
is another advance on my paycheck from the boss,
and I am outta this place.
I'm, I'm... (MIMICS PLANE TAKING OFF)
- Oscar... - (HUMMING)
Instead of getting in Mr. Sykes's face
with another one of your get-rich-quick schemes,
go do something you're good at.
- What? - Your job.
Which, by some miracle, you still have.
Oh.
Almost forgot.
(MIMICS POPPING) I brought you some breakfast.
- (GASPS) You didn't. - Mmm-hmm.
- Kelpy Kremes? - Your favorite.
Oh, by the way...
(WHISPERS) You're still on hold.
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh!
Thank you for holding. Busy, busy, busy.
Go! How can I help you?
(INDISTINCT DIALOG OVER PHONE)
Mm-mm-mm-mm.
No. I'm sorry. Mr. Sykes is at a meeting right now.
Won't be back till later.
DON LINO: How are my little babies this morning?
You miss me?
- You doing good? - (FISH COOING)
Huh? Huh?
You see, Sykes,
it's a fish-eat-fish world.
You either take or you get taken.
(SNARLING)
(BREATHING NERVOUSLY)
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is that it? That all? We done?
You and me, we worked together
a long, long, long time.
Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been work.
- Let me finish. And you know... - I love that about you...
Let me finish!
...that I've lived my life for my sons,
raising them and protecting them...
- You're the best! - ...teaching them...
- Am I right or wrong? - Sykes.
- It's all been to prepare... - Right?
- To prepare them... - Sorry.
Yeah. It's all right.
...for the day they run the reef.
Well, today is that day.
(SIGHS)
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
Luca.
I like big butts And I cannot lie...
(RECORD SCRATCHES, SONG STOPS)
Hey, boss. Big butts.
(LAUGHS)
Oy vey!
Long story short,
from now on, yous work for Frankie and Lenny.
- Capisce? - (LAUGHS)
Lenny? Frankie, I understand,
but Lenny? You can't be serious.
I'm dead serious.
It takes more than muscle to run things.
Now Lenny, he's got the brains.
That's something special.
oh, yeah. He's special all right.
What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing. I'm just saying. - Hey!
I bring you in here,
look you in the eye, tell you what's what,
and what?
- What? - What, "What"?
(STAMMERS) Nothing. You said, "What," first.
I didn't say "What" first. I asked you, "What?"
You said, "And then what?" and I said, "What?"
I said, "What what?" Like what what?
You said, "What" first.
- You're making fun of me? - No. You misunderstood.
Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident.
He was born.
- (LAUGHS) - (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
You're a comic genius.
Look, all I'm saying is,
the kid ain't exactly no killer.
My Lenny is a killer. You hear me?
A cold-blooded killer.
- Look at him. - (BAR STOOL SQUEAKING)
Huh?
That's it. That's it!
You are out!
What?
- (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What do you mean I'm out? - You're fired!
(SYKES YELLING)
DON LINO: And on top of that,
you're gonna have to start paying me!
For what?
So nothing happens to that little whale wash of yours.
OSCAR: Welcome to Oscar's crib.
Sixty-foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores,
swim-in cavities,
and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little...
(GRUNTS)
...old school.
Stop your moaning, Oscar. It could be a lot worse.
Yeah, that's true.
I could have this job, and look like you. (LAUGHS)
Who's behind me? Whoever behind me, better give me some.
- (LAUGHS) - (RUMBLING)
Indigestion.
(SHOUTING) She's gonna blow!
Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
(SHOUTING) I got you!
Headphone Guy!
(BURPS)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(GROANS)
Still think it could be worse?
Yeah. I could look like you. (LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) Y'all funny.
Well, see if you laugh at this!
(LAUGHING)
(GROANS)
(WHALE GROANING)
My eye!
Soap in the eye! Soap in the eye!
It's all right. I'm gonna get you some coupons.
We gonna get you a free hot wax and all that. You like that?
All right, go ahead, big baby.
WHALE: Thanks, Oscar.
- All right. - Look who it is, Bernie.
- Just the fish we're looking for. - Yeah.
The boss be needing to see you right now.
Right now.
Ernie, Bernie, my jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka!
Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all. Huh?
What'd you say, Ang? Oh, okay.
Fellas, I'm gonna go over there, but, uh...
(SINGING) Don't worry
About a thing
(BEATBOXING)
'Cause every little thing Is gonna be all right
That's not the way you sing that song, mon.
(YELLS)
(THUD)
Ah! Sykes!
My brother from another mother!
What the deezy, baby?
Unh. Show me that. Unh.
So, unh, what's going down?
Hey, baby, this is all gravy today.
Snap your fin. On the... Snap it!
- Oscar. Oscar! - You're not snapping it.
Don't sweat it. A lot of whitefish can't do it.
Would you just sit down?
Ooh. Thank you.
Look, I've been going over my markers.
You're in to me for five grand.
Five G's, okay?
Five G's? Man, you tripping!
Five G's.
See if this refreshes your memory.
(GASPS) Wha...
That's crazy. Look at that!
You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget.
Wow. This is a perfect example
of why you're in management and I'm not. You go, boy.
I have to start paying Don Lino protection.
Everything you owe me, you owe him.
- How you figure that? - Simple.
The food chain.
You see, on top, there's Don Lino. OSCAR: Right.
- There's me, and there's regular fish. - Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, that's me. - No.
There's plankton, there's single-cell amoebas.
(STAMMERS) Then there's me.
I'm getting there. There's coral.
There's rocks, there's whale poo,
and then there's you.
That's messed up.
So, if Don Lino's squeezing me,
- he's squeezing you! - What?
- (GRUNTING) - OSCAR: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
BERNIE: Easy, boss.
- Find your happy place. - Happy place.
There is no happy place with him around.
- (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I'm serious! - (GASPS)
Okay! Okay! Please, just give me some time.
That's all I'm asking.
(STAMMERS) I'm begging you, Sykes. Please!
Please!
All right. (EXHALES)
(IN NORMAL VOICE) 'Cause I like you,
I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.
All of it? How am I supposed to do that?
That's your problem.
Bring my 5,000 clams to the racetrack tomorrow, or else.
Or else what?
The boys'll explain.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) OSCAR: Unpleasant.
ANGIE: Five thousand clams?
You borrowed 5,000 clams from Mr. Sykes?
Oscar, why do you get yourself into these situations?
(SIGHS) I don't know, Ang.
(STAMMERS)
It's just hard. All right? Because, um...
I'm a little fish in a big pond.
A really big pond. The ocean.
I'm a nobody.
I want some of that.
- Mrs. Sanchez? - What?
(DISCO PLAYING OVER STEREO)
Ew! No. That.
The top of the reef.
Where the somebodies live.
I wanna be rich and famous like them, but...
I'm stuck down here.
Well...
What's wrong with down here?
I'll tell you what's wrong with down here.
Remember my dad?
He worked at the Wash his whole life.
OSCAR: He was the number one tongue-scrubber.
Every year for 25 years.
To me, working at the wash
was the coolestjob in the ocean.
But then I learned something I will never forget.
(LAUGHS)
Oscar's dad's a tongue-scrubber!
ALL: Tongue-scrubber! Tongue-scrubber!
Tongue-scrubber!
My dad was the greatest.
But nobody loves a nobody.
(STAMMERS) I wanna be a somebody.
Oscar, you don't have to live
at the top of the reef to be a somebody.
What's the difference?
If I don't pay Mr. Sykes back by tomorrow,
I'm dead anyways.
Wait here.
Wha... What's this?
A pink pearl?
- Mmm-hmm. - Where'd you get that?
My grandmother gave it to me.
She said it started from a tiny grain of sand.
But then, after a while,
it grew into something beautiful.
Dreams can begin small, too.
No. Uh-uh.
- No, I couldn't... - Take it.
It'll get you the money you need for Mr. Sykes.
(BAND PLAYING CHEERFUL MUSIC)
DON LINO: What do you mean, you don't understand?
What's there to understand?
We've been over this a thousand times.
I don't want to say it again.
You know, you're really giving me agita.
I don't know how else to say this.
You see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period.
Thanks. That's what sharks do.
That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you?
Your brother Frankie here,
- he's a killer. - Thanks, Pop.
He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do.
Wipe your face.
But you...
I'm hearing things.
You... You gotta understand,
when you look weak, it makes me look weak.
- I know. - I... I can't have that.
Pop, I'm sorry.
Lenny, Lenny, look at me.
Look at me.
This handing over the business is for you. For both of yous.
(STUTTERS) You're acting like you don't even want it.
I need to know that you can handle that.
(SIGHS)
(SHRIMP COUGHING)
DON LINO: All right, all right.
Right here, in front of me now, eat this.
(WHIMPERING)
Yeah. Oh, uh, gee. Thanks, Pop.
Here's the thing. I'm on a diet.
I read an article about shrimps.
They're not good for you.
You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps?
A lot.
It's true, it's true, and the other thing is,
my sister had a baby,
and I took it over because she passed away,
and then her baby lost its legs and its arms,
and now he's nothing but a stump,
but I still take care of him with my wife,
and it's growing, and it's...
It's fairly happy, but it's difficult
'cause I've been working a second shift at the factory
to put food on the table,
but all the love that I see
in that little guy's face
makes it worth it in the end.
True story.
(SOBBING SOFTLY)
(SIGHS)
I'm not asking you anymore.
I'm telling ya. Eat it.
- No. Have mercy. - Pop, please.
- Eat. - No eat!
- What... No! - Son, eat the shrimp!
LENNY: Please! ALL: No! Please!
- Eat. Eat. Eat! - No!
Eat! Eat! Eat! ALL: No!
Put the shrimp down!
All right. Go now. No one's looking. Get outta here.
You're free. Go on. Go!
Thank you. You're a good person.
Come on, fellas.
Pop, Pop, I can handle the reef.
- It's not a problem. - No. No.
We're gonna do this as a family.
Frankie, take Lenny out, show him the ropes.
Oh, come on, Pop.
Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark,
whether you like it or not.
(BELL RINGING)
(CHEERING)
That kid better show up, or he's dead meat.
Just say the word, boss.
Carrying a big old envelope full of money.
Gonna give it to Mr. Sykes.
Hurry up! This is our chance. You don't wanna miss it.
Are you sure about this?
A trainer friend tipped me off.
The race is rigged. We can't lose.
- What's the horse's name? - Lucky Day.
MALE ANNOUNCER: The long shot, Lucky Day, at 200 to 1.
FISH: We're gonna be rich. Rich!
Ooh. Top of the reef, here I come!
No! Wait. What am I doing?
Remember what Angie said. Remember what Angie said.
What did Angie say?
Dreams can begin small.
You just have to bet it all.
Bet it all!
MALE ANNOUNCER: And Lucky Day wins!
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Yeah
It's Oscar
Five thousand on Lucky Day to win!
(EXHALES)
That's 200 to 1.
That would pay a million clams!
Well, I guess that makes me Oscar the Millionaire.
The Millionaire.
Lucky Day. Lucky Day. Lucky Day!
(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)
She's dangerous, super-bad
Better watch out She'll take your cash
She's a gold digger
She's dangerous, super-bad
Better watch out She'll take your cash
She's a gold digger
Nice bet.
(CHUCKLES)
You got a name?
(CHUCKLES)
You wanna tell me what it is?
(CHUCKLES)
Well, mine's Lola.
(BURBLING)
Come on, man. Get your game face on.
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXHALES)
So... (CHUCKLES)
Lola. My name's... (GROANS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, my name is Oscar, sweetie.
(GASPS) Mrs. Sanchez.
That hippity-hop smooth talk don't work with me.
Oh. My bad.
Hey. So, uh...
Oscar. I was starting to think you skipped out on me.
Sykes! Hey! Oh, I see you, uh,
are already on your way to the concession stand.
- What are you doing? - Bring us some drinks.
- Why are you touching me? - That would be great. Thanks.
Oh, and, uh, bring back, uh, some little wiener thingies.
You mean the one with the toothpicks?
What are you doing? Don't listen to him.
Lola, let me escort you to my box.
- Your box? - His box?
You can't afford the gum under the seats.
- Sykes. - He just laid five grand on Lucky Day.
I think he can afford anything he wants.
(EXCLAIMS)
Five grand? My five grand?
Uh-uh. No. It was another five grand.
You had the money to pay me, and you bet it?
- Hold up. Sykes! - Give me that!
Clearly, I've made a mistake.
No. No. Wait. Lola!
Look. Deep down,
I'm really superficial.
And don't get me wrong, you're cute,
but you're a nobody.
ERNIE: Oscar, you cute, but you're a nobody.
BERNIE: Wait! Lola! Come back!
I'm not a nobody.
I'm a wiener!
- (LAUGHING) - (LAUGHING)
You are unbelievable.
You're in trouble up to your gills,
and still you're asking for more? Huh?
- Go on. Get in here. - (BUGLE SOUNDING)
Oscar, you better pray that this horse of yours comes through.
Betting my 5,000.
Hey! Hey! Outta my seat. You, outta my seat.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Sit tight and watch the race.
With your good eye.
(LAUGHING)
BERNIE: Good eye.
MALE ANNOUNCER: The horses are at the post.
- (BELL RINGS) - And they're off!
It's Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit and Salmonella.
The long shot, Lucky Day, is having trouble getting out of the gate.
- What? - Only a sucker could've bet on that horse.
Don't sweat it, man. He does this all the time.
MALE ANNOUNCER: What's this? Lucky Day's crashing his way through,
- and he's off and running. - (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Down the straightaway, it's Sea Biscuit,
Fish Fingers and Lucky Day.
Please, Lucky Day, go fast.
MALE ANNOUNCER: Coming round the far turn, it's Sea Biscuit by a length,
and Lucky Day well behind the pack.
And here comes Lucky Day coming up from behind!
He's passing Yellowtail, Salmonella,
- coming up on Fish Fingers! - Who's your fish?
MALE ANNOUNCER: Around the final turn, here comes Lucky Day.
Lucky Day's caught up to Fish Fingers!
They're head-to-head.
Lucky Day's pulling ahead! OSCAR: Come on through for me, baby!
I'm getting tired just thinking about counting all this money.
MALE ANNOUNCER: Look at Lucky Day go!
(BOTH SINGING) We're moving on up To the east side
MALE ANNOUNCER: Absolutely amazing!
This looks to be Lucky Day's big day.
It's Lucky Day!
Oh! What happened?
Lucky Day is down.
(BOTH SINGING) We're moving on up
To the east side
(GASPS) No!
MALE ANNOUNCER: And here comes Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit,
Yellowtail and Fish Fingers wins.
What happened? Let me see.
Wait! I just wanna hold you.
Oscar, get outta my way.
- MALE ANNOUNCER: What a sad day for Lucky Day. - Remember your happy place.
And that's why they call him the long shot.
Yo, that was crazy! Right? Who knew?
Everything's set, it's a lock,
we good to go, we in the money,
and he trips underwater.
Who in the halibut trips under water?
And by the way, on what?
That's it! That's it! I've had it.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Ernie, Bernie,
I want you to find the deepest, darkest hole in the ocean
and when you do, dig deeper and put him in it!
(POPS)
(SCREAMS)
Sorry, kid. It's nothing personal.
It's just business.
ERNIE AND BERNIE: (SINGING) Don't worry
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
About a thing
'Cause every little thing
Is gonna be all right
- This is how you sing it, Oscar. - Yeah.
Sykes, he like ya, mon.
- Him say take it easy on you. - Ooh!
But Sykes is not here.
- True. - (LAUGHS)
Ernie, let me ask you a question.
- Yeah, mon. Go on. - (MUFFLED SCREAM)
Why is it that me locks can sting other people,
but they have no effect on me or you?
(SCREAMS)
Ernie! I didn't mean it, Ernie.
I didn't mean it, man.
- Ernie! - (SCREAMING)
- Oh, Ernie! - (LAUGHING)
Ernie! You made a joke!
Good one, mon. Respect.
Respect. Bloodfire.
(WHIMPERS)
LENNY: Frankie, you know I can't do this.
FRANKIE: Lenny, if you wanna make Pop happy,
you gotta kill something.
LENNY: Or I could find a very old sick fish and just wait.
FRANKIE: Ugh. It's getting around, your thing at the restaurant.
You know how fish talk. Bit-a-bit, bit-a-bop.
This, that, the other. Then how ya doing, boom!
- (GASPS) - Forget about it. You're dead.
Okay. Seriously,
I can't understand wiseguy,
so you'll have to be more specific.
Oh, specific. You want specific.
- Be a shark for once in your life! - (GROANS)
What am I gonna do?
Aw. Lenny, forget about it. Okay?
We do couple of practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom,
Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on. Capisce?
Okay. Okay. Capisce.
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Bingo.
(REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING)
Right there. Dead ahead. You see it?
TV dinner. Don't get no easier than this.
All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger.
Frankie, I can do this!
What if I can't do this?
Then don't bother coming home.
Good point! All right.
Hit him in the tail again.
- I like the funny face he make. - Funny face.
- Ernie! - Blow out!
(GRUNTING)
Ah! Uh, guys?
Guys, don't leave me alone.
There could be sharks out here.
(SCREAMING)
Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no. I'm not...
- FRANKIE: Lenny. - What?
Like this. (GROWLS)
Oh, no. Ah.
- Aah. - (SCREAMS)
Oh, just get it over with!
Wait a minute. Do me a favor.
Don't chew me.
(STAMMERS) I'm not for that.
I'm not gonna eat ya.
Don't do the whole head-trip thing with me.
Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you.
- (GROWLS) - Back up!
That's it, Len. There you go, buddy.
Wave those fins, baby. Dig in.
(GROWLS)
I'm just pretending so you can get away.
- Huh? - When I turn around, you take off!
Tastes just like chicken.
Mm. Mmm!
Oh, no.
- Oh! What did I tell you? - Oh!
- I'm sorry. You want me to go now? - Just go!
That's it. I've had it up to here.
(GROWLS)
Ooh!
Oh, no!
Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie. Wait!
(SHOUTING) Oh! Get your boy! Get your boy!
(CLANGING)
(LOUD THUD)
(BOTH GASP)
(GASPS) Frankie!
(GRUNTING)
FRANKIE: Lenny...
(COUGHS) Lenny, is that you?
I'm here, Frankie.
- Come closer. - Yes? What is it?
I'm so cold.
That's just because we're cold-blooded.
Ow!
Moron.
(GASPING)
Frankie, no.
No!
(SOBBING)
This is all my fault.
I'm so sorry, Frankie.
How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop?
Oh, no!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(SHRIEKS)
(SHOUTS) Watch it! Back up!
I'm crazy! I be tripping! (YELLING)
- Whoa. - Oh.
(CONTINUES YELLING)
- Ow! What the... - (SCREAMING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
- (SCREAMING) - (BOTH SCREAMING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Don't hurt us. We're sorry.
It was all Ernie's idea.
(GASPS)
Oscar...
Did you kill that shark?
Uh...
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Exac... Exactly how it look, that's how it is.
What happened?
Oh, you... You wanna know what happened?
- Yeah. You're standing on top of a shark. - Yeah.
Go on, mon.
I'll tell you what happened!
Big ol' shark, about 75, 100 feet long.
He's swimming at me. Right?
(ALL GASPING)
With teeth like razors!
Ooh! Razors! Ha!
And I was all like, "You gonna come at me like that?"
You're gonna come at the "O" like that?
Uh-uh.
Hey! Do the muscle thing. The muscle thing.
Oh. Right, right. I told that dude,
"You see this guy?" And I pointed like this.
"Well, he's got a brother, and he lives right over here,
"and I think it's time for a little...
"family reunion!" ALL: Family reunion!
- (LAUGHS) - (CROWD CHEERING)
See, man? I told you. KATIE: Excuse me.
We were right there! KATIE: Pardon me.
- Move it! - Whoa. Sorry. Sorry.
She seems so nice on TV.
Oscar, Katie Current.
As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me,
does this mean you're now protector of the reef,
new sheriff in town, the big kahuna?
Katie, I'm gonna keep it real.
- I can call you Katie? - Of course.
Any shark try to mess around in Oscartown is going down!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic!
LOLA: Oscar.
Mmm. Oscar.
SYKES: Okay. Get outta here, you barracudas.
Any further questions will be fielded by me.
- And you are? - His manager.
- Uh... - Sykes, with a "Y."
(LAUGHS) And I'm his financial adviser!
You wanna see my puppets?
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Hello!
Could you excuse us for a moment, please? (CHUCKLES)
- My manager? - You're a superstar.
We're gonna make a fortune. Let me handle it.
- What about the five G's? - Forget the five G's.
From now on, we're partners.
What exactly are we talking about?
I'm thinking 90-10 split.
That's pretty generous.
You're the 10. I take my 90 off the top.
- I don't think so. - Talk to me.
- You get 15. - 70.
- 20. - 75.
Dude! You're going the wrong way.
BOTH: 50-50.
- You happy? - No. You happy?
No! BOTH: Deal!
Uh, my manager and I
are now prepared to take your questions.
Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the wash?
Please. I barely work here now.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em.
No! He's slaying sharks!
Hey. Hey, that's good. That's good. I like that.
- Oscar the Sharkslayer. - All right.
Whoa!
ALL: A sharkslayer!
KATIE: You heard it here first.
- (CAMERAS CLICKING) - From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef,
it's his funeral.
(PRIEST RECITING PRAYER IN LATIN)
DON FEINBERG: (SINGING) I could fly higher Than an eagle
If you are the wind Beneath my wings
(COUGHS)
Frankie, we'll miss you.
ALL: To Frankie.
GUISEPPE: It's a terrible thing, Don Lino.
Everybody loved Frankie.
May whoever did this die a thousand deaths.
May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse
rot in the fiery depths of hell.
Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe.
Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound, too.
Hope he's okay.
Oh, Lenny.
Don't worry, boss.
I said some things to him.
We gotta find him.
We're searching everywhere.
Forget about it. He'll turn up.
What's wrong with that kid?
Why's he gotta be so different?
Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect.
Perfect!
(SIGHS)
DON LINO: Oh, Luca.
Who could've done this?
DON FEINBERG: (CLEARS THROAT) Don Lino,
at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences.
Thank you, Don Feinberg,
for honoring my son with your song.
I got some news,
about the guy who took out Frankie.
(FARTS)
(GAGS)
(THUD)
Let's, uh... Yeah, let's talk over here.
He come out of nowhere, this guy.
Calls himself,
"The Sharkslayer."
(CLEARS THROAT) Ira, over here.
Sorry.
The Sharkslayer!
Where do I find him?
He's from the Southside Reef.
That's all we could dig up.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Any requests? - Luca.
How about that Titanic song?
MALE SHARK: Oh, no! Not again!
Get Sykes. He knows that reef better than anybody.
I wanna find this guy. I wanna know everything about him.
I wanna know where he lives, where he sleeps.
He pops a gill, I wanna know about it.
Who is this Sharkslayer?
MALE ANNOUNCER: Here he is,
- the Sharkslayer! - (FIREWORKS BURSTING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
I think I love you, baby
What you feel now
I think need you, baby
What you know now
Uh-uh, uh-huh
To be real
Uh-huh, mmm-hmm, whoo
Your love's for real now
You know that your love
And my love
My love is here to stay
Let's get this party started right!
What you find now
What you feel now
- Here he is, the Big O! - Psych!
Pound that, dog! Pound it!
Oscar, raise the reef! Raise the reef, buddy!
- Uh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
Huh? Hot! (MIMICS SIZZLING)
Yeah, that's pretty... That's pretty...
Come on, cabbage patch! Cabbage patch.
Angie, you made it!
Wait, wait! You're gonna break my gift!
Oh, come on. You didn't have to get me anything.
What'd you get me?
Well, what does every bachelor pad need, huh?
A lava lamp!
- How did you know I love lava lamps? - (LAUGHS)
I'm gonna put it right here next to my other one.
Hey, come on, Ang!
I wanna show you the best thing about this place.
Wow!
How great is this view?
ANGIE: Top of the reef. It's...
It's amazing.
I know. It's beautiful, right?
Like you.
(STUTTERS) Like your new apartment.
It's... Wow! Awesome!
(CHUCKLES)
What I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you, Oscar.
Yeah. It was... It was nothing,
really. You know?
Hey! Oh! You know what?
Wait right here. Don't move.
I'll be right back.
Girl, you are gonna flip!
(EXHALES, SNIFFS)
- Boop! I'm back. - Oh, you're back!
(CHUCKLES)
You know what, Ang?
Where I am right now,
this whole new life I've got
and all my dreams coming true,
in a weird kinda way,
well, I never could've done it without you.
Oh, sure, you could.
Well, probably not. (CHUCKLES)
Ang. Here.
Oh, Oscar!
I know, I know.
I'm just sorry that it took so long.
Oh, that's okay.
Bam!
Huh?
My grandmother's pearl.
(MIMICS POPPING)
With interest!
Now, I don't forget anything,
and I never forget who my friends are.
Oh. (WEAK LAUGH)
(CHUCKLES)
Ang, uh...
LOLA: Oh, hi.
I'm not interrupting something, am I?
- Yes, we're talking. - No! Uh-uh.
Hey, Lola. Wow! You're here!
- (ANGIE CLEARS THROAT) - Oh!
Uh, hey, you...
You gotta come best my meet friend, Angie.
(STAMMERS) Eat my best men, Wangie.
Best friend? Oh, that's sweet.
So you won't mind if I steal him for a while then, will you?
So, look who's a somebody after all.
Well, you know, uh...
Sharks! On the... On the edge of the reef!
They're... They're Great Whites!
OSCAR: Sharks!
Okay, everybody, go home to your loved ones!
Spend the last few hours that you have with each other.
Oh!
I mean... (LAUGHS)
That's the way it used to be around here.
We'd have been all scrambling for cover and stuff,
but not since Oscar came to town!
(ALL CHEERING)
So, Lola, uh, baby,
just wait here. I'm gonna be right back.
I'm gonna go ahead, take care of these sharks.
Go get 'em, tiger!
Whoo! Biceps, triceps!
(LAUGHS) Grr!
All right, Oscar! You're the best!
Go get 'em, Oscar!
Grr!
(CROWD WHISTLING AND CHEERING)
(GRUNTING)
(OSCAR CRYING)
Lenny!
Where the heck is he? Lenny!
Hey, what are you doing?
There's a sharkslayer out here.
- You wanna be next? - Oh, yeah.
(WHISPERS) Lenny! Lenny!
OSCAR: Ooh.
That was close.
LENNY: Super close.
Don't panic.
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
Quiet! We're safe.
- Oh, no, not you again! - Yeah.
(SCREAMS) What was that?
Yo! What is with you, man?
Shh! He could be anywhere.
- Who? - Shh!
The Sharkslayer.
There's no sharkslayer out here.
(MOCK LAUGH)
Yes, there is!
(MOCK LAUGH) No, there is not.
Trust me on this one.
Get a hold of yourself, man!
This is no time to act crazy!
You the one acting crazy, crazy!
(SIGHS) You're right, you're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I haven't been myself since the, uh...
The, uh...
(WHIMPERS) Don't cry.
Oh, no! (CRYING)
No, no. It's not all that. Just relax.
It's my fault, kinda.
Not really, but still...
- Hey, um... - My brother.
You just need a little time, man. Things will work out.
- You think? - Yeah!
So, look, um...
I'm gonna take off,
and you should just go home, okay?
Okay.
All right. Hey, good luck, dog.
- Wait! Uh... - What, man?
- I didn't catch your name. - (GRUNTS) Oscar.
- I'm Lenny. Hi. - Hi.
Where... Where... Where do you live?
Lenny, where I come from,
fish don't like to get grabbed by sharks, okay?
- Sorry. - Now, go home!
There is no home for me anymore.
Don't you understand that?
OSCAR: You're too big to be grabbing on me.
- Take me home with you. - Shh!
You won't notice I'm there.
I'm like the invisible shark.
Are you crazy?
Please! I'm begging you!
Don't leave me alone!
Shh!
SHORTIE 1: Yo! Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em!
OSCAR: Shh!
Gotcha!
Hey! Yo, the shorties!
- ALL: Oscar! - What y'all doing here?
- Check out my mad burner. - Check it out.
(SINGING) Whoomp, there it is
How ya like that?
Y'all kids got some skills.
- It's wild style, dude. - Mmm-hmm.
What did I tell you?
You kids shouldn't even be doing this.
And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night.
It is now, bro-bro! You the Sharkslayer!
- Yeah, bro. - Yeah.
- Sharkslayer? - What was that?
(COUGHING LOUDLY)
Sometimes I'll be coughing for nothing.
Look, I just need you off of these streets.
- Oh, come on, Oscar. - Get your butts home.
I know your moms. I'm gonna tell 'em y'all doing bad stuff.
Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up.
BOTH: Yeah!
SHORTIE 2: Bye, Oscar! SHORTIE 3: See ya later, dude!
Lenny! Did you see what just happened there?
I know. They think you're the Sharkslayer.
As if!
(LAUGHING)
I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually.
No, wait up! Hey!
I'm sorry. Seriously.
I don't want you mad at me,
and I certainly don't want you to slay me. (LAUGHING)
You having a good time, huh?
You're enjoying yourself?
Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer!
Oscar the Sharkslayer. That's what people be saying.
Wait. You mean you...
Yeah.
When the anchor...
(GASPS)
Oh, you're a liar.
Hey, I didn't lie, all right?
All right, I lied.
But it was a little lie! Come on!
Who's it gonna hurt anyway?
Go ahead. I'm not explaining myself to you.
- You know what? You're on your own! - No problem.
And if, God forbid, someone should, oh, I don't know,
find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...
- You wouldn't. - I would.
Uh... (CLICKS TONGUE)
(EXHALES)
Come here!
Of course you can come with me.
(LAUGHING)
But, you know, I mean, you're a shark,
and I'm a sharkslayer.
So we can't be seen together.
You dig, dog?
Dig! Dug.
Dug dig. Dig dog.
Yeah. Yo, diggy dog!
Just... Come on!
OSCAR: Okay, Lenny.
Follow my every move, and don't make a sound.
LENNY: You got it. (ECHOING)
Ooh, an echo.
Echo.
Now, batting for the Southside Sharks, number 15...
- (SLAPS) - Ow! It's not okay to hit!
Ain't nothing to it
(SIREN WAILING)
If you wanna get down We can do it, do it
Ain't nothing to it
Keep stepping With your new suede shoes on
Boys and girls Let's all sing along
Everybodyjust get On a good foot
Oh, Lord
- Ooh ooh - Get on a good foot
Oh, Lord
- Ooh-whee. - Shh!
Get on a good foot
Ow!
Aah! Ow!
(LENNY YELLING)
(LOUD CRASH)
Get your tail in there!
Think anybody heard that? Ooh!
(CRYING) Ow!
Who was that? Huh? Who? Who's out there?
Yo, Crazy Joe!
I thought I heard something.
Did you get that shark?
You have no idea, Joe.
(LAUGHS) That's great!
Well, gotta go. My show's on.
(THE BENNY HILL SHOW THEME PLAYING)
(JOE LAUGHING)
All right, we're safe. For now.
- Ah. Hey, a bed! - Huh?
Oh! Oh, yeah. That's good.
Oh, that's heaven. Yeah.
Oh, snuggly,
buggly, wuggly.
I love you, man.
Whoa! Hold up!
You're my new best friend.
Stop it.
Okay, you wanna be friends? Fine.
But we gotta lay down some rules.
Rule number one,
no "snuggly, buggly," whatever that just was.
You got it. Anything else?
Rule number two,
and this is the most important rule.
In the event that possibly you get hungry...
Don't worry. I'm not gonna eat anyone.
In case you haven't noticed,
I'm different from the other sharks.
Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night.
- Define "different." - You'll laugh.
I'm not gonna laugh.
That's what you say, and then what happens later? You laugh.
Lenny, I give you my word.
Okay. I will tell you.
I'm... I'm a vegetarian.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hold up.
(EXHALES)
So, that's it?
(SNEEZES) What do you mean, "That's it?"
You're the first fish I ever told.
I'm so tired of keeping it all a secret.
- And my dad... - Whoa! Hey!
He'll never accept me. What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, man.
I think all sharks should be like you.
That's sweet of you to say.
And stop blaming yourself for what happened.
Really?
If you wanna blame anybody, blame me.
If I hadn't been out there in the first place,
none of this would have happened.
Yeah.
Gee, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure.
(CHUCKLING) "Ice"?
What is he, the Godfather or something?
- Yeah. - What you mean, "Yeah"?
Yeah, he is.
(GULPS)
Hey, are you all right?
(SCREAMS)
- (SINISTER LAUGH) - (VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
- I told ya! - I'm doing it!
X, circle, X, X, double left, square,
right trigger, down, square, square.
Oh! Double square.
- Respect. - Respect.
Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for you.
The Sharkslayer made me his manager,
so I'm now what I like to call "untouchable."
(CHUCKLES) You hear me?
- OSCAR: Sykes. - Hey, Oscar.
Ow! Hey! Sykes.
There he is, my brother, my player, the Sharkslayer.
- Sykes, listen... - And another thing,
from now on, you're gonna have to start paying me protection.
The deal is off. That shark I killed was Don Lino's son.
I know. Ain't it great?
Not if he finds out.
What do you mean, "Find out"? I've got him on phone right now.
That's right, Lino, I got the Sharkslayer right here in front of me.
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
And he's gonna slay you and all your sharks.
Sykes, shut up! Shut up!
Hey, that's good. I like that.
Shut up, Lino. Ha! Shut up!
- (GROANS) - What? Oh.
Kid, he wants to talk to you.
- I'm not here. - He's right here.
Hello!
"Shut up"? "Shut up"?
You don't tell me, "shut up."
- I tell you, "shut up." - (PHONE DIALING)
- Hello? - How you doing?
Let me have a pie with everything on it.
Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms.
- Luca. - Oh.
Hi, Boss, what are you doing working in a pizza joint?
- Get off the phone! - But I'm hungry.
(SIGHS)
My guys are coming for you, Sharkslayer.
They're gonna tear you fin from fin.
Now who's your puff daddy? Huh?
Who takes care of you? Huh? Huh?
Come on, you two, we got work to do.
(BOTH GROAN)
I was winning.
Sykes, you got it all wrong.
SYKES: They're gonna write songs about you, kid.
(SINGING) Oh, the shark bites With his teeth, dear
Sing it, mon.
And then Oscar Kicked his butt
Sykes! Sykes, man!
Come on!
LOLA: Maybe I can help.
Ooh! Hey, Lola!
What are you doing here?
You just be popping up sometimes, places.
Well, you said to wait, so...
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
I've been waiting.
OSCAR: Uh... (CHUCKLES)
Look, uh, I don't have a lot of time
for the whole hand-clappy, making-the-lights-go-off,
music-playing-in-the-dark thing, you know?
What are you afraid of?
Afraid? (LAUGHS)
Yeah, that's funny.
I ain't afraid of nothing. It's just... Ooh!
Oh, baby, you are so tense.
Yeah, I've been stressed lately.
You know, protecting the reef. I do that by myself, you know.
It's just... Just crazy.
It's just too much. It's piling up.
Yeah. Just one thing on top of the other.
Actually, I was thinking about retiring.
- You don't wanna do that. - I don't?
You have worked your way to the top.
You don't wanna go back to the bottom, do you?
No.
No way.
You just show 'em who's boss,
and those sharks will leave you alone.
Yeah. You're right.
Lenny.
Psst.
(WHISPERS) Lenny, where are you?
- Hello, Oscar. - (GASPS)
Angie!
Hey. What are you doing here?
What, Oscar, did you forget something?
Um... Uh... You know...
Oh, maybe you forgot your shark!
(SLURPING)
- Hi. - Uh... Shark!
Swim, Angie. I'll cover you.
Quick, before it's too late.
- Go on without me. - Oh, stop it.
Your pet shark told me everything.
Dang, Lenny.
Why would you do that?
I don't know. I like her.
Thank you. I like you, too.
What were you thinking bringing him in here?
I'm still working out the kinks.
"Kinks?" You lied.
Everybody thinks you "slayed" the shark.
Who am I to tell them that they're wrong?
How could you lie to me, Oscar? Me!
Don't take it personally. I lied to everybody.
All right, I'm sorry. I totally betrayed you.
I got just one little problem I got to take care of.
Oh, what's that?
Sharks are coming to get me!
And they should! What did you expect?
You take credit for killing a shark,
and then everything will be fine and dandy
for the rest of your life?
Uh...
Yeah.
But don't you worry. Me and Lenny got it. We gonna fix it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the "We?"
I don't want any part of this.
Too late now, veggie boy.
They'll be looking for you, too.
Point taken. What's the plan?
This is what we do. ANGIE: Oscar, here's the plan.
You tell the truth, and you go home.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
This is what we gonna do, right? (GRUNTS)
We gonna paint you up all bloody. A mess, right?
Then you'll swim out and meet the sharks
before they get here.
Then you gonna say, "Stop! Don't go no farther.
"That Sharkslayer's crazy, man.
"He beat me senseless.
"He's a stone-cold killer, man."
You could tell 'em I'm huge.
Tell them I'm handsome.
You could throw that in.
You're going way too far.
Actually, he hasn't gone far enough.
Exactly. What?
You need to slay a shark,
and I need to disappear.
Here's what we're gonna do.
This is Katie Current reporting live.
We've had unconfirmed reports of...
(ALL SCREAMING)
(HUMMING JAWS THEME)
Da-da-da!
Look! It's the Sharkslayer!
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS)
(ROARING)
Da-da-da-da
(GROANS)
Holy mackerel! Did we get that?
Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV.
OSCAR: Show me that. Go ahead with your bad self.
Ugh.
- (CROWD CHEERING) - Do you hear them, Lenny?
They are going crazy. They love us.
- They love you. They hate me. - What?
Can we switch sides? Maybe I can be the Fishslayer.
They'll never see it coming.
Come on. You sell this, you'll never have to go home again.
You can start a new life.
Give me a growl.
Okay.
(GROWLING SOFTLY)
(CLEARS THROAT)
(THUNDEROUS GROWLING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
Like that?
That was... pretty good.
Let's go.
(GROWLING)
Is that all you're offering?
Do you understand how huge my client is? Turn on your TV right now.
(GROWLING)
Wait, Lenny. Hold up. Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
(GASPS)
Turn off your TV! Turn off your TV!
OSCAR: Don't swallow.
- Oscar? - No. It's Pinocchio.
Of course it's me. Why did you do that?
- I'm sorry. - No, no.
Sorry is when you step on somebody's fin at the movie theater.
Sorry is when you say,
"When is the baby due?" and the person is just fat.
This is as far away from sorry as you could possibly get.
But, Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke. (GAGS)
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Lenny, just open up nice and easy.
(OSCAR GRUNTING)
(ALL GASPING)
(STRAINED GRUNT)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Are you not entertained?
Go, Oscar, man!
You can't handle the truth!
Go get 'em, Oscar!
You had me at hello!
Turn your TV back on.
What are you doing turning your TV off? Turn it on!
OSCAR: Yippee-ki-yay!
Go, Oscar!
OSCAR: Whoo-hoo!
(GROANING)
This reef is huge.
How we supposed to find the Sharkslayer?
(LENNY SCREAMING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
OSCAR: This is it, Lenny. Big finish.
Just like we practiced.
- The flying fish. - The flying fish?
A little help here, buddy boy.
Sorry.
OSCAR: Thank you. Whoa.
(SCREAMING)
Curse you, Sharkslayer!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAM FADING OUT)
(MIMICS CRASHING SOUND)
(SIGHS)
Yeah. And you tell Don Lame-O
that I don't never, ever, ever, ever,
ever, never wanna see another shark on this reef again.
- Ever! - Oh!
Remember this name,
Oscar the Sharkslayer!
Aha! You see? You see? Huh?
CROWD: (CHANTING) Oscar, bumaye! Oscar, bumaye!
Ah! Oh, look at Oscar.
Oscar, bumaye!
Whoo! Hey, Lo...
KATIE: Seems the Sharkslayer not only conquered a few sharks today,
- but maybe a few hearts. - (GASPS)
Has the reef's most eligible bachelor been snapped up?
I'm Katie Current, here live watching the Sharkslayer making out.
Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue one?
Thank you.
Hey! Who stepped in the room?
(OSCAR LAUGHS)
Ho, ho, ho, yeah!
Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby.
- Unh. Give me some fin. - High fin. Low fin.
Yo, did you see me? I was like...
(KARATE YELLS)
Ha-ha! I was great!
When you punched me, and the crowd was, "Ahh!"
They ate it up.
Angie, you ain't know I had it in me, did you?
It was like an Oscar-splosion.
- How good was I? - You was the bomb.
Thank you. Thank you.
And hey, hey, hey.
Casanova.
I saw your big finish on the news.
Nice smooch, lover boy.
Ixnay on the iskay, man. That's private. It's private.
Private? The entire reef saw you do it.
Hey, whoa, somebody's in a bad mood.
Ang, let me see the smile. Show me the smile, baby.
Knock it off.
Uh... What has gotten into you?
Me? Oh, I swear,
sometimes I wanna take your big dumb dummy-head
and just... (GRUNTS)
Ang, what is the problem?
There's no problem. I don't have any problem.
Miss Perfect is the one with the problem.
Um, hey, you guys.
What do you got against Lola?
Not my lips, that's for sure.
Ooh.
What's going on?
Uh, I'm gonna stay out of this one.
Why would you even care about Lola?
- I don't. - You don't?
- No. - "No," what?
- I don't know. - Guys, you wanna...
- No! - No!
Just tell me, Oscar, 'cause I'm curious.
Why do you think she's interested, huh?
Do you think for one minute
that she would even be with you
if you weren't the rich and famous Sharkslayer?
- Please don't fight. - Are you that blind?
At least she treats me like I'm somebody.
Would she love you if you were nobody?
Nobody loved me when I was nobody!
I did!
Before the money...
And before the fame.
Before the lie.
To me, you were a somebody, Oscar.
Now you're nothing but a fake.
A sham. A con.
You're a joke.
LENNY: Here I come.
Ta-da!
(SINGING) Sebastian
The whale-washing dolphin
(MIMICS DOLPHIN CLICKING)
- Angie... - No. Forget it.
Just go,
'cause I'm tired of hearing
how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough.
Including me.
(SIGHS)
LENNY: Angie.
Oh, honey, I'm... I'm sorry.
Go... Go back and do it again.
Hey, come on.
It'll be okay.
One shot to your heart Without breaking your skin
No one has the power To hurt you like your kin
Kept it inside
Didn't tell no one else...
You can't handle the truth!
You've got shark breath!
And now you only have Yourself to blame
If you continue
To live this way
Get it together
You wanna heal your body
Get it together
You have to heal your heart...
(ALL CHATTERING)
MRS. SANCHEZ: What you kids doing?
How many times I have to tell you?
It's past your bedtime.
Go on. Go on.
(SHORTIES CHATTERING)
Hey, what are you kids up to?
That looks pretty good.
You guys should do this for a living.
Ooh
You can fly, fly, fly, fly
You can live or you can die
You know that life Is a choice you make
You can give or you can take
You can fly, fly, fly, fly
WHALE: It slays hemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks.
Oh. Hey, Oscar.
Preparation O.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Angie was right. I am a joke.
(SCOFFS)
Hey, Sharkslayer.
Why are you out here?
All your friends are inside.
Not all my friends.
You mean that little bottom-feeder from the Whale Wash?
Forget about her. She's a nobody.
No. I'm the nobody.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, let me guess.
She told you that she loves you.
Is that it?
(LAUGHING)
It's not like you feel the same way about her.
(LAUGHING)
I don't think this is gonna work out.
Wait. Are you dumping me?
(GASPS)
Let me explain something to you.
(SINGING) We're gonna party like it's your birthday
(THUMPING)
Ha! Young love.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(GROANS)
Ooh
Sugar pie, honey bunch
You know that I love you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else...
- Hey, Oscar! - I can't talk. I got to find Angie.
I need to tell her I love her.
You come and you go
Way to go, Oscar!
- (PHONE RINGING) - Irie. Whale Wash...
Gimme the phone.
Where you get a whale of a wash.
Gimme back the phone. And the price is...
Very, very low, considering how good the wash is.
BERNIE: Good one, Ernie.
How many times do I have to tell you? It's "gosh."
"You get a whale of a wash and the price, oh, my gosh."
- (PHONE RINGING) - Me get it, mon. Whale Wash.
Rhymes with "gosh." (LAUGHING)
Give me that. Get out of here.
Go be useless someplace else.
Sykes, where's Angie?
- (PHONE RINGING) - You tell me.
Whale Wash. You get a whale of a wash...
Oh. Huh.
- It's for you. - Huh? Hello.
- LUCA: Is this the Sharkslayer? - Yeah. Who's this?
It's Luca, the octo... I mean, forget about it.
Now you follow these instructions to the letter like, okay?
File cabinet, top drawer.
There's a package. Get it.
That's right, tough guy. We got your girl.
There's going to be a sit-down in one hour.
Who is it?
Shh!
Be there, if you don't wanna see her sleeping with the fishes.
The dead ones.
Now, nod your head if you understand.
Now, tell me if you nodded your head.
I nodded.
They got Angie, and they want a sit-down.
I never meant for anybody to get hurt,
especially not Angie.
This is all my fault.
SYKES: Classic move. I've seen it a thousand times.
They take the thing you love the most, and then they use it against you.
We got to go to that sit-down and save her.
Whoa, whoa. I wanna save Angie, too,
but I can't waltz in there and say, "Hi, Pop. I'm a dolphin."
- Lenny? - "And the Sharkslayer's a fake."
- Fake? - We're gonna need a better plan.
(LAUGHS)
This is a joke, right? This is a joke.
Because I told Lino...
- SYKES: Shut up, Lino! Shut up! - (GROWLS)
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Tell me you didn't make it all up.
Tell me that's not Lenny.
Tell me you're a real sharkslayer, please.
I'm sorry, Sykes. I'm not.
But the sharks don't know that.
(GULPS)
(BREATHING NERVOUSLY)
(BOTH GASPING)
(GROWLS)
(ALL GASPING)
Stop screwing around.
This will never work. We're dead. We're dead.
Shh. Thank you, Sykes. Thank you.
And my man Sykes has just
begged me not to murderlize all y'all up in here.
Now, I might listen to him, but then again, I might not.
And that depends on the individual behavior
of all the individuals in here,
individually.
- Ain't that right? - (GRUNTING)
Look. He's got dolphin muscle.
My Uncle Vito got whacked by one of those.
Which one of you sardines called this meeting?
That would be me.
So, this is the Sharkslayer.
I've been looking forward to meeting you.
I feel like we're practically family.
You know that? Funny, ain't it?
I brought my kids into the world
full of love and care,
and you took 'em out.
You know who I am?
Do you know who I am?
I'm the Don, the boss
of the great white sharks.
Boss, I saved you a seat.
(SCOFFS)
I've been running this reef since before you was born.
If you thought a guy like me
can't get to a guy like you...
Guess what?
You thought wrong.
(MUFFLED SPEAKING)
(MUFFLED GRUNT)
(SCOFFS) Man, you the one who's wrong.
I barely know that girl. What's your name, miss?
(MUFFLED GRUNT) LOLA: Oh, yeah?
Well, I say he's bluffing.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Marone, if I wasn't married.
How ya doing, pretty lady?
Ugh.
Lola.
We meet again.
You know, Sharkslayer,
there's only one thing I like better than money,
revenge.
Oh, I'm in love.
Your shark slaying days are over,
and there ain't nothing you can do about it.
(OSCAR LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
- Huh? What's so funny? - Ow!
You got nothing. Nothing!
Sebastian, take her out.
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(SINGING) Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da
Can't touch this
Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da
Can't touch this
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh
Stop! Oscar time!
Okay, new rules.
Nobody, I repeat, nobody makes a move without my okay.
I am the Panama Canal, baby.
From now on, everything... (BLOWS)
...flows through me.
Huh? What'd he do? I can't see it.
You don't lose a tooth.
You don't grow one back without my okay. Okay?
- Okay? - Okay.
- (SNEEZES) - If you sneeze,
you don't wipe that boogie without my okay. Okay?
- Okay. - All right.
And you don't say "okay" without my okay. Okay?
(MOANS)
Uh-oh.
Okay. Thank you all for coming.
Good meeting. We got to go.
Oh, and one more thing.
What is with all y'all living in the Love Boat?
Oscar.
Y'all supposed to be the Mob.
Get yourselves a real hideout.
(GAGGING) Oscar.
And take a good look, Lino.
It's over. You're old school.
- Oscar! - What?
MALE SHARK: Oh!
The horror!
(COUGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
Um, excuse me.
(WHISPERS) Ang, are you okay?
No, I am not okay.
- He ate me! - I couldn't take it.
The taste was killing me.
Lenny?
Is that you?
- You're alive? - Oh.
I thought I lost you.
What are you wearing? Huh? What is that?
Whoa! Ho-ho ho!
Hey, Boss, it's Lenny.
He was wearing a disguise so we wouldn't recognize him.
But now he's not wearing a disguise,
so we do recognize him.
Hi, Pop.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind?
Do you have any idea how this looks?
This is the best sit-down I've ever been to.
What are you doing with this guy?
He took out your flesh and blood, Frankie.
But, Pop, just listen...
But nothing. You never take sides against the family. Ever!
Hey, Don, Lino, sir.
It's not his fault. This is between you and me.
What did I ever do to you?
You took Frankie away,
and you turned Lenny into a dolphin!
- I'm gonna get you. - (SCREAMS)
ANGIE: Oscar, look out!
Oscar, swim for your life!
(GROWLING)
You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer.
Well, well, well. Look who's stuck in the porthole.
- Huh? - You still hungry, big guy?
Well, say hello to my little friends.
(HUMMING CHARGE)
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
- Try it again. - (PHONE RINGING)
Whale Wash, you get a whale of a wash
and the price... Oh, my gosh!
All right! You got it right. You got it right.
Move! Everybody, out of the way!
Blow out!
(WHALES SQUEALING)
Come on, Lino. It's time to clean up your act.
(DON LINO GROANS)
Pop, leave him alone!
(YELLS)
All right, Lino, game's over.
Ah! Ooh!
Lenny? What are you doing in there?
- Sorry. - Where's Lino?
He's right behind me, isn't he?
You're mine now.
(SCREAMS)
Whoa!
Let's finish this, Sharkslayer.
Oh, we're about to.
(SHOUTING IN SLO-MO)
(SCREAMS)
(MACHINERY POWERING DOWN)
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
Thank you for coming to Whale Wash.
(CROWD CHATTERING)
Okay, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble, today.
- Ooh. - (CROWD CHEERING)
- Angie... - The Sharkslayer has done it again.
This time luring two sharks into his deathtrap of hygiene.
Oscar, you're the somebody everybody wants to be.
- Angie! - The top of the food chain.
Tell our cameras how it feels to be you.
Oscar, get me out here. Quick. I need to get a head start
so I can get as far away as possible.
Look what you did to him.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
- Sharkslayer, over here. - If you'd just...
ALL: (CHANTING) Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer! Sharkslayer!
Stop!
(SHOUTING) I am not a real sharkslayer!
(CROWD QUIETS DOWN)
I lied.
What?
And I'm not a real financial adviser.
(SOBBING)
Okay.
It was an anchor that killed Frankie.
I didn't have anything to do with it,
and neither did Lenny.
If that was true, why did you run away?
Because you always wanted me to be like Frankie.
I'll never be the shark you want me to be.
What is your problem?
So your son likes kelp.
So his best friend's a fish.
So he likes to dress like a dolphin.
So what?
Everybody loves him
just the way he is.
Why can't you?
Don't make the same mistake that I did.
I didn't know what I had until I lost it.
Will you get me out of this?
So I can hug my kid and tell him I'm sorry.
Pop.
Come here, you.
I love you, son, no matter what you eat
or how you dress.
ANGIE: Oscar?
Angie?
Ah, Angie.
I wish I knew now what I knew then.
I mean, I wish you knew what I knew...
Uh, I mean, before this.
You're blowing it, man!
Mind your business. It's emotional and it's pressure.
What I'm saying, I just...
I didn't need the top of the reef.
Everything I wanted was right there in front of me
the whole time.
Well, what about being a somebody?
I'm nobody without you.
(KISSING)
(CHUCKLES) You're not helping.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, come here, you big dumb dummy-head.
(CROWD CHEERING)
I never told you two this,
but you're the best henchmen a guy ever had.
Come on. Group hug.
- Ow! Hey! - Sorry, mon. Sorry.
Come, Sykes, try again, mon. Go for it.
Oh, forget it. The moment's gone.
So, uh, Lino...
Uh, Don... (CHUCKLES)
We cool, right? Like, the reef is safe.
You know, walk the streets without... Aah! You know.
Yeah. We're cool.
(ALL CHEERING)
KATIE: Oscar, excuse me. Oscar.
You've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve.
Tell me, what's next for you?
Come on. Everyone's waiting,
Mr. Manager.
Just got to put the finishing touch on my new desk.
Love you, Pop.
- Yo, dog! - Sykes!
All right, partner, let's see what you can do.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Sykes and Oscar's Whale Wash
is now open for business!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yo, E, B,
let's get this party bump-bump-bumping!
Yo, yo! It's E and B on the wheels of steel!
Yo, Christina, Missy,
how about we have a little Oscar-licious fun?
(SINGING) Y'all small tuna fish I'm one big catch
You might not ever get rich
Warm it up. I be warming it up.
Let me tell you, it's better Than digging a ditch
There ain't no telling Who you might meet
A movie star Or maybe a common thief
Working at the car wash
Okay, Jimbo, let it go!
At the car wash, yeah
Yeah
At the car wash
Sing it with me
LENNY: Hey, Angie.
Sorry Pop and I are late,
but we brought some new customers.
Hey, how you doing?
Wow!
Okay, guys, come on in!
This ain't no place to be If you plan on being a star
Let me tell ya It's always cool
And the boss don't mind Sometimes if you're acting Like a fool
Working at the car wash
No. Snap it. You're not snapping it.
I'm snapping it. I'm snapping it.
It's okay. A lot of Great Whites can't do it, yo.
- Yo? - Yo, what's up?
What's up with what?
Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo.
You say "yo" one more time, and I'm gonna yo you.
I'm sorry.
Okay, dude, I pimped your hide.
All right
Check me out.
Hey, you think this is funny?
What am I, a clown to you?
Get your car wash today
Give it up right away
Car wash
Keep up with me. Don't let me lose ya.
You know I'll lose ya.
In your face.
Shark's lair
Bow down, playa
What you got?
You don't want none of this!
(JABBERING) Break it down, fellas!
Nine to five, I gotta keep That fat stack coming
Work and work
You got served!
Working at the car wash
Yeah
At the car wash, yeah
Come on, work, baby Work it, say now
At the car wash
Hey
At the car wash, yeah
Come on, work, baby Work it, say now
At the car wash
Ohh
Working at the car wash, yeah
So come on, come on Come on, come on, come on
Now, keep it coming
So, you may not Ever get rich, but I
This is a Shark Tale exclusive.
Hey
Hey, get your car wash today
Hey
Get your car wash today
Phenomenal hit
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
LOLA: Hello?
Hello!
Oscar? Listen, baby, I know I was a bad girl,
but come on.
You'd have to be crazy not to take me back.
Did someone say "crazy"?
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)
Taxi! Hey, taxi! Hello!
Hey, you gonna eat the rest of your popcorn?
(GROANS) Too much butter!
Hey! A nacho! (CHOMPING)
(SIREN WAILING)
You're not even halfway done yet.
(LAUGHING)
What? You see this guy?
He hardly worked on the movie at all!
Always on the phone, yakking, yakking, yakking.
Hah!
Man, have you guys seen what's playing next door?
Hoo-hoo!
Stinky!
What you doing? Go on! Get out of here! Go home!
It's past your bedtime!