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Man: SO I'M DEAD.
AND I THINK IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS REDHEAD.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, JAKE?
THE ANTI-CHRIST?
NO, I'M JUST A GUY LOOKING FOR SOME ANSWERS.
HEY, YOU KNOW, PAL, AIN'T WE ALL?
THINGS ARE PROBABLY GONNA END BAD FOR YOU TONIGHT, JAKE.
YEAH. YEAH, I'M STARTING TO GET THAT FEELING.
IS YOUR LIFE FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES?
HONESTLY? JUST THE LAST 3 WEEKS.
THAT'S NOT A BAD PLACE TO START.
ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN, OK? I'M SORRY.
I LOST MY HEAD IN THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU FUCKING SHOT HIM, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!
WHAT OTHER FUCKING CHOICE DO I HAVE?!
THE MOTHERFUCKER WAS GONNA WELSH, ALL RIGHT?
DID YOU NOT HEAR HIM?! DID YOU NOT SEE HIM?!
I CAN'T BE HERE, MAN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
I CAN'T FUCKING BE HERE!
LISTEN TO ME!
ALL RIGHT? IT WENT TO SHIT.
THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES.
[SIRENS APPROACHING] OH, FUCK, MAN!
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME, LIONEL.
OK, NOW, WE COULD STILL GET THROUGH THIS.
WE STILL HAVE SOME TIME,
BUT I NEED YOU TO USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD,
AND I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME!
CAN YOU DO THAT?!
NOW LET'S GO.
COME ON. LET'S HUSTLE IT UP.
COME ON. GRAB HIS FEET, WILL YOU?
LIONEL, HE'S DEAD, ALL RIGHT?
NOW, MAYBE YOU DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER,
BUT YOU WERE STANDING RIGHT THERE,
AND YOU SAW ME DO IT.
NOW GRAB HIS FUCKING LEGS.
TICK TOCK.
HEY, LOOK, YOU WANNA HELP? THEN HELP.
IF NOT, SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.
YOUR MESS.
HEY, DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE?
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, WILL YOU?
MY PLACE.
MAYBE NOW YOU'LL SHUT THE FUCK UP.
PLEASE!
THINK THIS KIND OF SHIT HASN'T HAPPENED HERE BEFORE?
GIVEN IT'S USUALLY ON WEDNESDAY,
AND USUALLY I TELL THE COPS,
"NO, OFFICER, I DIDN'T GET A GOOD LOOK AT THE SHOOTERS.
USUALLY, ANYWAY.
I SWEAR TO GOD, I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!
YOU LET ME GO, I WON'T SAY A WORD. I PROMISE.
DON'T GET HYSTERICAL ON US, SWEETHEART, ALL RIGHT?
I CAN'T FUCKING BE HERE!
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, LIONEL?
THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO, HUH?
WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?
WHAT ABOUT THIS SITUATION MAKES YOU THINK
I CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION RIGHT NOW, HUH?
FUCK! FUCK!
FUCK!
[SIRENS]
Cop: FREEZE!
FREEZE, YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' COCK-SUCKIN' SCUMBAGS!
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. STOP WAVING THOSE THINGS AROUND. IT'S OVER.
WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKIN' LONG?
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S LIKE 100 DEGREES IN HERE,
AND I'M LYIN' IN THIS SHIT FOREVER.
WHAT THE FUCK? YOU GUYS WERE LATE.
WE HAD TO GO TO A MEXICAN STANDOFF.
WE HAD TO GO TO GUNPLAY. GENTLEMEN, THAT ISN'T OUR RACKET.
WE WERE BUSY FIGHTING CRIME.
YOU KEEPING THE STREETS SAFE FROM PEDOPHILES AND DRUG DEALERS?
SHIT. OH! GOD DAMN IT!
I TOLD YOU YOU WERE USING TOO MUCH POWDER.
LOOK AT MY FUCKIN' SHIRT.
ALL RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND. BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU DON'T GET THE NICE SPLATTER EFFECT.
WELL, LOOK AT THE SPLATTER EFFECT, ALL RIGHT?
THE ONES WITH BLOOD COME OUT OF YOUR CUT.
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
HEY, JAKE, WHEN DO I GET TO PLAY THE INSIDE?
GORDO PLAYS THE INSIDE. YOU'RE THE SHILL. YOU KNOW THAT.
YEAH, BUT COME ON.
ALL I DO IS CRY AND GET INSULTED HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AL, COME ON.
YOU SHOULD GET A FUCKIN' ACADEMY AWARD FOR THE SHILL WORK YOU DO.
BIG AL, DOES ANYONE DO IT BETTER THAN YOU?
NOW, COME ON. WE GOT A GOOD THING GOING THERE.
YOU WANNA JINX US BY CHANGING THINGS?
YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T WANNA JINX ANYTHING.
OF COURSE I'M RIGHT. NOW, HERE YOU GO.
THAT'S YOUR CUT. THANK YOU.
GOOD WORK, PAISAN.
WHAT?
IT'S A LOT OF CASH.
HE CAME UP WITH IT AWFULLY QUICK.
DID YOU SEE HOW QUICKLY HE GOT OUT OF HERE? ALL RIGHT?
HE'S NOT COMING BACK. IT'S OVER.
OK, FINE.
I GOTTA PINCH A LOAF.
DID ANYBODY MESS UP THE HOOP?
IT'S CLEAN.
YEAH.
GENTLEMEN,
10%, YOUR CUT.
WHOO! ENJOY.
YOU GUYS GOT A LOT OF SACK, MAN.
I'LL GIVE YOU THAT MUCH.
IT'S CONFIDENCE. JUST CONFIDENCE.
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE CON IS.
INSIDER TRADING, A LINE WE GOT AT A BOOKIE CLUB,
INSURANCE SCAM, WHATEVER.
YOU'VE SEEN THE MONEY, AND YOU WANT IT...
MORE OF IT.
SO WHO CARES IF YOU HAVE TO BEND THE RULES A LITTLE BIT.
AS LONG AS NOBODY GETS HURT.
BUT THEN SOMEBODY DOES.
OH!
TOMMY SUITS ALWAYS SAID A CONFIDENCE GAME IS LIKE
PUTTING ON A PLAY WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS THEIR PART.
THE INSIDE MAN, THE ROPER, THE SHILLS,
EVERYONE, THAT IS, EXCEPT FOR THE MARK.
SO NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE IN A HOMICIDE.
EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IN CONTROL OF
JUST FLEW OUT THE WINDOW, OR IS DRIPPING DOWN YOUR LEG.
YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING OUT THE DOOR,
DESPERATE TO FORGET THAT THIS EVER HAPPENED,
AND READY TO REPENT YOUR GRITTY WAYS.
WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?
BUT THEN THERE IT IS AGAIN--THAT ITCH.
THERE'S A GUY STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU WITH A SMOKING GUN,
ANOTHER GUY ON THE FLOOR BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE,
AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT THE MONEY.
YOU'RE A SICK, TWISTED FUCK,
SO WE GOTTA MAKE SURE THAT WE GOTTA GIVE YOU THE BLOW UP.
WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER, EVER COME LOOKIN' FOR US AGAIN.
WE HAVE TO GET YOU OFF OF OUR BACKS FOREVER.
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
SO THAT'S WHY WE GIVE YOU THE FIX.
FUCK.
FUCK!
L.A.P.D.'s FINEST,
HALF AS SMART AND TWICE AS CROOKED
AS THE GUYS THEY JUST CHASED AWAY.
MOTHERFUCKIN' COCK SUCKERS!
GRIFTERS.
YEAH, WELL, WE ALL CAN'T BE MODEL CITIZENS SUCH AS YOURSELF.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, ISN'T IT?
AIN'T IT ALWAYS?
THAT'S WHAT MAKES US RUN.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? DUTCH.
Jake: AND DESPITE WHAT THEY SAY...
LOVE THAT NAME.
ME, TOO.
Jake: IT CA BUY YOU LOVE.
[MOANS]
CHECK IT OUT-- ORIGINAL LEATHER SEATS,
SOFT TOP, AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS,
SUICIDE DOORS.
NICE.
Jake: IT CAN SAY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
IT CAN ERASE ALL THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOU
YOU WISH DIDN'T EXIST.
IT'S ALPHONSE. I WANT TO SETTLE UP.
NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN DUCKING YOU.
I TOLD YOU I'D GET IT.
Jake: IT CAN MAKE YOU THINK YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD,
AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT MONEY CAN DO ALL THAT FOR YOU,
YOU'RE THE PERFECT MARK.
OOPS.
Jake: WASN'T IT JACK KEROUAC WHO SAID,
"IF YOU OWN A RUG, YOU OWN TOO MUCH"?
I DON'T NECESSARILY LIKE KEROUAC,
AND DRIVING CROSS-COUNTRY ISN'T MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME,
BUT THE GUY'S GOT A POINT.
Machine: 3 NEW MESSAGES.
HEY, IT'S MONICA, BILL.
I'M STILL DIZZY FROM THE OTHER NIGHT. CALL ME.
[BEEP]
HI, SCOTT. JUST THOUGHT I'D CALL YOU AND TO TELL YOU I'M BACK.
YOU KNOW THE NUMBER. IT'S KATE, BY THE WAY.
[BEEP]
BRUCE, IT'S CHERYL.
YOU KNOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME, JUST SAY SO.
BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M CALLING.
Jake: IF YOU'VE GOT NOTHING,
YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
AND WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY,
WHETHER IT'S FINDING IT OR LOSING IT,
YOU JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER HOW MUCH OF IT IS JUST LUCK.
OOPS.
JUST DUMB FUCKING LUCK.
[DOOR KICKED OPEN]
MR. DOLBY,
MR. KING WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU.
NOW? RIGHT NOW?
WE HAVE A CAR WAITING.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
HELLO?
Miles: YOU BETTER GET OVER TO AL'S NOW.
FOR WHAT?
[DIAL TONE] HELLO?
NOTHING. WHO THE FUCK?!
THERE'S A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS ON HIS DRESSER.
ALL OF HIS SHIT'S HERE.
THIS DEFINITELY WASN'T A RANDOM THING.
Miles: IS IT EVER A RANDOM THING?
SHIT, AL. WHAT DID YOU DO?
ALL RIGHT, NOW, LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND.
JESUS CHRIST. I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT L.A.
DIDN'T I SAY THAT? THIS DAMN FUCKING TOWN.
GORDO, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT, ALL RIGHT?
I'M SORRY. I'M JUST A LITTLE...
JESUS CHRIST. LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO HIM, JAKE,
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS EGG FOO YUNG.
YOU THINK THERE'S A CHANCE THEY KNOW ABOUT US?
I MEAN, WHAT IF THEY GET TO US, TOO?
DON'T START FREAKING OUT, OK?!
LET'S--LET'S-- LET'S GET AL OUT OF HERE, FIRST.
MILES, GET A BLANKET OR SOMETHING.
NO, WE'RE GONNA LEAVE HIM RIGHT HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU, HIGH?!
WE'RE NOT LEAVING AL HERE.
GRAB THAT END NOW. GRAB IT, MILES!
MILES, PICK UP THE TABLE, AND PUT IT BACK.
GORDO, LET GO OF THE FUCKING RUG.
I SAID WE'RE LEAVING HIM HERE.
DROP IT!
Gordo: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
HOW LONG HAVE WE WORKED WITH THIS FUCKING GUY?!
I'M NOT GONNA JUST FUCKING LEAVE HIM HERE!
ALL RIGHT?!
GORDO, GET A FUCKING GRIP.
WE'RE LEAVING HIM HERE.
Jake, narrating: BIG AL USED TO SEND MONEY TO HIS FATHER,
A VIETNAM VET SLOWLY LOSING HIS MIND
IN A V.A. HOSPITAL IN CLEVELAND.
AL WAS LIKE THAT.
NOW YOU COMING?
Jake: THAT'S WHY AL NEVER PLAYED THE INSIDE.
THERE HE IS.
SO WHAT DO YOU HEAR?
WELL, IT SEEMS LIONEL DOLBY CAME DOWN
WITH A SUDDEN CASE OF DROWNING LAST NIGHT.
THEY JUST PULLED HIM OUT OF THE SILVERLAKE RESERVOIR.
NOW I KNOW WHY HE WAS SUCH A GOOD ROPE.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, CASH, THAT MUCH?
AND WE NEVER HAD TO PUT HIM ON THE SEND.
TURNS OUT THIS FUCKING MOPE WAS AN ACCOUNTANT FOR THE KING.
THE WHAT? WHO'S THAT?
THE CASH WE FLEECED OFF OF HIM WAS COLLECTION MONEY.
BOOKIES, PUSHERS, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE THAT MONEY,
AND GIVE IT BACK TO THE KING EARLIER YESTERDAY
LIKE HE DOES EVERY THURSDAY,
EXCEPT THIS TIME, THAT FUCKING STENAD
FIGURED HE COULD MAKE A LITTLE SOMETHING OFF OF US,
AND STILL GET THE MONEY BACK TO KING BEFORE ANYBODY SAYS BOO.
OK, WHAT'S A KING?
CURRENTLY? A VERY LARGE-TYPE POLE
STUCK RIGHT UP OUR ASSES, MILES.
MOB? NO. NO.
NO, INDEPENDENT.
WINSTON KING.
HE LIKES TO CALL HIMSELF "THE KING."
HOW'D THEY GET TO AL?
OH.
BEAUTIFUL.
LAST NIGHT AL CALLS SOME BOOKIE
OUT IN REDONDO.
TELLS HIM HE'S GOT THE CASH TO SETTLE UP.
BUT HE'S APPARENTLY-- HE'S BEEN DUCKING THIS GUY FOR LIKE A MONTH.
CLASSIC FUCKING AL, RIGHT?
SO THE BOOKIE ASKS WHERE HE'S GOT THIS MONEY ALL OF A SUDDEN.
DOES AL TELL THIS GUY
THAT HE JUST CASHED A FUCKING BAR MITZVAH BOND?
THAT HE'S BEEN GIVING HEAD FOR 20 BUCKS A POP? NO.
NO.
THE FUCKING IDIOT STARTS GOING ON AND ON
ABOUT THIS JOB HE JUST PULLED.
HOW HE FLEECED DOLBY. HOW--
HOW HE FLEECED...
WHAT? ARE YOU PISSED THAT WE DIDN'T GET CREDIT?
NO, NO, NO.
THAT WAS THE ONLY SEMI-FUCKING SMART THING HE SAID,
EXCEPT THAT ANYBODY THAT'S EVER MET BIG AL
KNOWS THE ONLY THING HE'S COMFORTABLE DOING ALONE IS EATING.
SO, THIS GUY TELLS THAT GUY.
THAT GUY TELLS SOME OTHER GUY.
EVENTUALLY IT WORKS ITS WAY BACK TO SOMEONE
WHO WORKS FOR THE KING AND...
Woman on tv: SPANKY!
Spanky: WHEN DO WE EAT?
Gordo: SHAZAAM.
Spanky: GOOD MORNING.
ANY IDEA WHO THE SHOOTER WAS?
SPECIFICALLY, I DON'T KNOW,
BUT, HUH, I'M SURE THAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR US, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, JUST AN IDEA. LET'S DIVVY UP THE CASH,
AND LET'S JUST FUCKING SPLIT.
EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU NEW?
IS THAT THE THING? IS HE NEW?
MILES, THIS GUY HOLDS A GRUDGE
BETTER THAN MY EX-MOTHER-IN-LAW.
YOU REMEMBER THAT MOSHE MACELLI?
THAT FUCKIN' JEW-ITALIAN GUY FROM BOSTON.
THEY USED TO CALL HIM MATZO MAZZARELLI? REMEMBER THAT?
THE GUY WITH THE FACE SPAZ.
IT'S CALLED A FACIAL TWITCH, MILES.
AND, UH, THE GUY WAS NOT BORN LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?
NO, APPARENTLY 5 YEARS AGO MATZO WAS TURF-FIXING
FOR THE KING DOWN IN SANTA ANITA,
AND HE SKIMMED 2 GRAND BEFORE SKIPPING TOWN.
5 YEARS LATER, KING FINALLY CATCHES UP TO HIM,
KEEPS HIM CHAINED IN HIS FUCKING BATHROOM
FOR, LIKE, 5 DAYS.
OH, GOD.
NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY THE WORD "KING,"
SPITS UP ALL OVER HIMSELF.
JESUS.
EVEN WORDS LIKE "VIKING" AND "SHRINKING" SET THE GUY OFF.
THAT'S A 5-YEAR GRUDGE OVER $2,000.
SO WE GO TALK TO HIM.
WHOA, WHOA, YOU WANT TO GIVE THE MONEY BACK?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
PITTSBURGH. PITTSBURGH'S WHERE IT'S HAPPENING.
BIRD FLEW INTO MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT, TOO.
NOT A GOOD SIGN, GORDO.
Jake: THE EUCLID WAS OUR PLACE.
GORDO FLEECED THE DEED OFF SOME JACKOFF IN A CARD GAME.
WE USED IT EVERY NOW AND THEN FOR A RAG,
BUT MOSTLY IT WAS OUR OFFICE,
OUR POWER POINT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHERE THE HELL'S THAT GOING?
WE WANT INSURANCE?
JESUS CHRIST, MILES.
JUST ASKING.
JUST MAIL IT.
UH, YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR THE KING, PLEASE.
JUST TELL HIM IT'S REGARDING AN ACCOUNTING PROBLEM.
MM-HMM. YEAH.
YEAH, HE'LL KNOW.
HOLLYWOOD AND VINE?
OK.
WHEN?
2 HOURS FROM NOW, BUT JUST ME.
NO, FUCK THAT. WE'RE GOING, TOO.
LET'S ALL JUST PUT OUR DICKS
BACK IN OUR PANTS FOR A SECOND, OK?
IS THIS THE BEST THING TO DO?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE KING IS GONNA LET YOU WALK, JAKE?
'CAUSE I'M GETTING A RIDE.
[HORNS HOKING]
HEY, DON'T BE DICKING AROUND IN THERE, OK?
AND IF HE SHOOTS YOU OR STABS YOU
OR CAUSES YOU TO BLEED PROFUSELY, CALL A CAB,
'CAUSE YOUR ASS AIN'T GETTING BACK IN HERE.
THANKS, GUYS.
WE APPRECIATE YOUR PUNCTUALITY.
MR. KING IS EXPECTING YOU.
LUPUS!
YOU SAID TO PAT HIM DOWN,
SO I'M PATTING HIM DOWN.
IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT TO BE POLITE.
MY APOLOGY, MR. VIG. IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND?
SO YOU THE GUY THAT GOT BIG AL?
NOPE. MR. KING FARMS OUT THAT KIND OF WORK.
PLEASE. AFTER YOU.
WAIT WITH THE LADIES.
HI.
HARLIN. OK, NOW, YOU SEE THAT?
RIGHT THERE. FIND OUT WHO SHE IS. MAKE A NOTE.
I THINK IT'S CHANNEL 42 OR 3.
OK, A LITTLE HARDER.
THE GIRLS ARE HERE, AND THE KID.
ALSO GOT THE SELDIN BROTHERS WITH A SHIPMENT.
BRING 'EM IN. WHICH?
WHATEVER. THE BROTHERS, THE GIRL, OR THE KID?
OH, THAT'S GOOD. WHOEVER. COME ON.
I'M GETTING A MASSAGE, HARLIN.
YOU GOT IT.
JAKE? LADIES?
HARLIN, I THINK I BET THAT DOG.
GO! GO! GO!
HEY!
WELL, LOOKIE HERE.
[KING LAUGHS]
HI, GIRLS.
HI. HI.
SO, UH, TELL ME. YOU TWO TOGETHER?
WE'RE SISTERS. WE'RE SISTERS.
WOW. I LIKE SISTERS.
JAKE, I CAN'T QUITE SEE,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE A LITTLE BIT,
SO I CAN CHECK THEM OUT, THEN YOU CAN CHECK THEM OUT.
THANKS.
SISTERS, HUH?
AND YOU'RE OVER 18?
YEAH.
OH, YEAH? ALL RIGHT.
HARLIN, LET'S SEE WHAT THE SISTERS CAN DO.
PUT THEM IN THE BOOTH.
LADIES.
[KING CHUCKLES]
OH, BY THE WAY, HE HAD AN ESCORT.
L.A.P.D.
OH!
THAT'S A LITTLE OVERREACTING.
I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU.
JUST A LITTLE INSURANCE, THAT'S ALL.
UH-HUH.
SO THEY'RE ON THE TAKE FOR YOU.
SHH. YOU MUST BE PRETTY GOOD,
YOU GOT COPS DRIVING YOU AROUND.
IS THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK SO INNOCENT,
AND YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE THERE, AREN'T YOU?
YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO, TIGER?
YOU JUST CON PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR MONEY?
THERE'S ACTUALLY SOME TECHNIQUE TO IT.
AHA, YOU MEAN, LIKE, UH, STYLE.
YEAH, WELL, IT HELPS, DON'T YOU THINK?
NO, NO, NO, NO. STYLE'S AT THE END OF MY LIST.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG MAN LIKE YOU JUST STARTING OUT,
MY FIRST BIG SCORE, THIS GUY WE ROBBED--
I THINK HIS NAME WAS, UH...
CHINATOWN SCHMIDT.
OK, IT WAS NOTHING BIG.
MY END WAS ABOUT $800.
ANYWAY, FIRST THING I DID WAS GO OUT AND GET MYSELF A SUIT, RIGHT?
I LOOKED GOOD. IT WAS, LIKE, WHITE.
IT WAS-- WELL, IT WAS WHITE.
IT WAS WHITE WHITE.
WHITE, WHITE, WHITE, WHITE, WHITE.
OH, I LOOKED GOOD, MAN.
I'M TELLING YOU, I WALKED DOWN THE STREET,
I MEAN, EVERYBODY WAS CHECKING ME OUT,
MALE AND FEMALE.
OH, YEAH. I'M SURE THEY DID.
OH, YEAH, ANYWAY.
FIRST DAY I WORE IT OUT,
OCTOBER-- IT WAS STILL HOT OUT,
AND WE WERE KICKING BACK IN MALIBU,
AND CHINATOWN SCHMIDT, RIGHT?
HE CATCHES UP WITH US, SO TWO GUYS ROLL BUY,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!
BOOM, BOOM!
6 OF US SCATTER, MAN.
THE DUST SETTLES, YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY'S CHECKING THEIR FINGERS AND THEIR TOES.
AND WHO IS THE ONE GUY THAT GOT HIT, SAILOR?
YOU KNOW WHY?
WHITE SUIT.
I WAS THE FIRST THING THEY SAW.
I WAS THE FIRST THING THEY AIMED AT.
I WAS THE FIRST THING THEY HIT.
SO WHAT'D I LEARN THAT DAY, JAKE?
DON'T WEAR WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY MAYBE?
NO.
SOMETIMES, JAKE, STYLE CAN GET YOU KILLED.
Harlin: MR. KING?
THE GIRLS ARE READY.
OH, GREAT. WAIT, SPORT, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
YOU EVER BEEN HERE BEFORE?
NO, IT'S NOT REALLY MY THING.
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
TUESDAY WE GOT DISCO NIGHT,
WEDNESDAY IS THAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC SHIT,
THURSDAY'S THE GAY AND LESBIAN NIGHT.
THAT IS VERY TASTEFUL, BY THE WAY. OW! OW! OW!
LUPUS, I WANT YOU TO GET ME--
LUPUS! LUPUS!
LUPUS, GOD DAMN IT.
YOU LOOKING AT THEM, OR YOU WORKING FOR ME?
I WANT YOU TO GET ME AN ESPRESSO, PLEASE, AND TELL THAT BITCH
TO GIVE ME BACK MY SLIPPY-DIPS. COME ON. NOW!
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHY ONE OF MY GUYS? WHY LIONEL DOLBY?
I MEAN, MY 6-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW
COULD CON ANYTHING OUT OF THAT DUDE. WHY?
LOOK, IF WE KNEW DOLBY WAS CONNECTED TO YOU,
WE NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE NEAR HIM,
SO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.
HONEST MISTAKE.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S JUST SOMETHING
BETWEEN 2 GUYS THAT DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER YET, RIGHT?
SO WE'RE GONNA MAKE AN EXCHANGE OF THE MONEY,
AND THEN ALL WILL BE FORGIVEN.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
NO, THAT I WON'T DO.
WON'T?
YOU WON'T?
YOU WON'T!
I WANT YOU TO LOOK VERY HARD AT ME, MOTHERFUCKER,
AND TELL ME WHY.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME REPHRASE THAT.
THAT I CAN'T DO.
BECAUSE A--I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY,
AND B--YOU KILLED ONE OF MY GUYS.
ONE OF YOUR GUYS?
THAT'S 4-SPOT, RIGHT?
YEAH. 4.
YEAH.
ONE OF YOUR GUYS.
I GOTTA TAKE A PILL, OR I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE.
THIS IS CONFIDENTIAL, RIGHT?
YEAH.
MMM!
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
STOP IT! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
THEY CAN'T HEAR ME. HARLIN, GET THEM OUT OF THERE.
GOD DAMN IT!
DOWN! DOWN!
SHIT, MAN, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? THEY'RE SISTERS.
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
I WANT A STRAIGHT ANSWER NOW.
YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT DOLBY WAS CONNECTED TO ME?
YOU HEARD ME BEFORE.
BUT IT'S SO IMPORTANT
THAT YOU DON'T STRAY FROM THE TRUTH
IN THIS ONE LITTLE PART.
I DIDN'T KNOW.
YOU'RE A GOOD GRIFTER, MAN.
IT'S HARD TO TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYING,
BUT I'M GETTING THERE. COME HERE, GIRLS.
NOW, LISTEN, IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I EVER PUT GIRLS IN THE BOOTH.
USUALLY THEY WORK THEIR WAY UP.
YOU'RE GONNA GO WORK ON YOUR ROUTINE, YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE SISTERS.
YEAH, WE'RE SISTER. MM-HMM.
SHH! LET ME TALK. LET ME TALK.
YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT WE'RE DOING?
OF COURSE I LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
BUT I LIKE IT DONE WITH ARTISTRY, WITH GRACE,
AND THAT MEANS IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT EACH OTHER,
YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO DO IT TASTEFULLY. OK?
THESE ARE PEOPLE HERE. THEY GOT FAMILIES.
ALL RIGHT?
OK. YOU UNDERSTAND?
THEN GO WORK. GO ON. GO ON.
LADIES.
TELL ME THIS:
HOW ARE YOU AND I GONNA RESOLVE OUR SHIT?
I GET YOU WHAT I OWE YOU, PLUS INTEREST
BY GOING ON THE GRIFT FOR YOU.
I LIKE THAT. OK. SIT DOWN.
PUT YOUR BABYCAKES DOWN HERE.
THAT CUTE LITTLE IRISH MUSCLE ASS YOU GOT.
LOOK, I CAME HERE TO DO A DEAL,
NOT PLAY GRAB-ASS WITH YOU, YOU FREAK, ALL RIGHT?
YOU HEARD MY PROPOSAL.
HUMOR. JAKE, JUNIOR, BUSTER, HUMOR.
COME ON. YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE?
I GOTTA OPEN UP THE PLACE. COME ON. SIT DOWN. BUSINESS.
COME ON.
ALL RIGHT. NOW HERE'S WHAT I--
YOU DON'T WANT TO SIT CLOSER?
NO, I'M FINE OVER HERE, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
CAN I SEE YOUR HAND?
YOU GOT A BIG HAND. LET ME SEE YOUR HAND.
I'M NOT GONNA BITE YOU. LOOK AT THAT HAND, MAN.
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN A PIANIST OR A GUITARIST.
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT.
WOW. SEE THIS?
THAT'S YOUR LOVE LINE THAT'S YOUR MONEY LINE,
AND THAT'S LOOKING VERY, VERY GOOD.
AND THAT'S YOUR LIFE LINE GOING ALL THE WAY D--
UH-OH!
YOU SEE THAT LITTLE GAP THERE?
IT MEANS AT ONE POINT, YOU COULD HAVE A LITTLE TROUBLE.
BUT IT'S UP TO YOU TO MAKE IT BETTER.
NOW, I WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME,
AND I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME HAPPY,
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SCARE ME.
YOU DO NOT WANT TO SCARE ME, JUNIOR.
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW?
I PLAY A CON. YOU GET A CUT,
I GET A CUT. WE GET SQUARE.
AND I GIVE YOU THE WHO
AND YOU GIVE ME THE HOW, RIGHT?
AND YOU CAN BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOOD, RIGHT?
I LIKE TO THINK SO.
YEAH, OK. YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS WITH MORGAN PRICE.
HEH! MORGAN PRICE? YES.
IMPOSSIBLE. WHY?
WHY? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET TO HIM. HE'S TOO BIG.
YOU GOT TO ME.
YEAH, BUT WE GOT TO YOU BECAUSE-- WHAT?
YOU WERE A FLUKE, A MISTAKE.
AH. THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.
WHY MORGAN PRICE?
BECAUSE HE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. LUPUS!
DON'T FUCK WITH ME, JUNIOR, OK?
LUPUS! YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GONNA TAKE MY FRIEND LUPUS WITH YOU, OK?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT'S NOT THE WAY I OPERATE.
I WORK WITH MY GUYS. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH,
SHH, SHH. YOU'RE GONNA TAKE LUPUS WITH YOU.
THAT'S THE WAY I OPERATE.
LOOK AT ME NOW. TELL ME WE'RE SET.
YEAH, WE'RE SET.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
ARE WE DONE WITH ALL THIS BUSINESS NOW?
WELL, I MEAN, THE REST OF IT DEPENDS ON YOU.
I THINK I'M DONE.
[EROTICA BY MADONNA PLAYING]
* EROTICA
* ROMANCE
* EROTICA
* ROMANCE
* MY NAME IS DITA
* I'LL BE YOUR MISTRESS TONIGHT *
* I'D LIKE TO PUT YOU IN A TRANCE *
EXCUSE ME, MISS? MISS?
I THINK YOU DROPPED SOMETHING.
YEAH, YOU'RE GOOD, BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD.
I SPOTTED THAT LIFT FROM ACROSS THE CLUB.
WHAT, YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME?
HEY, TONY, COULD YOU GET MY CAR?
SURE.
YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ME, DO YOU?
SHOULD I?
OH, RIGHT.
THAT'S GOOD.
SO YOU INTERESTED IN A LITTLE WORK?
COULDN'T AFFORD ME.
NOT WITH $27
AND A MAXED OUT VISA, JOHN.
OR IS IT TOM OR BILL?
HARD TO TELL WITH SO MANY I.D.s.
YEAH, WELL, MY NAME IS JAKE.
ALL RIGHT? AND DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, SWEETHEART.
THAT'S ONE THING I'VE NEVER HAD TO PAY FOR,
AND I DON'T CONSIDER IT WORK.
GUESS YOU GOT THE WRONG GIRL THEN.
DO ME A FAVOR. TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND COUNT TO 10, ALL RIGHT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT A GRIFT,
AND IT PAYS WELL.
UNLESS YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET RICH
JERKING OFF GERIATRICS IN THAT PLACE.
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CARED.
KEEP THE WALLET.
WE'RE EVEN.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
COUNT TO 10, AND...
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
LOOK, IT PAYS WELL, ALL RIGHT?
6 FIGURES.
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS PLAY A PART,
DO A LITTLE ACTING.
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?
WHY ME? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
BECAUSE WHAT I'VE SEEN I'VE LIKED.
AND I GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT YOU.
HASN'T ANYONE EVER SAID THAT TO YOU BEFORE?
NO.
THANKS, TONY.
Tony: YOU BET.
BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
ALL RIGHT. I THINK IT'LL BE WORTH YOUR WHILE.
MAKE A WISH.
11:11. MAKE A WISH.
THAT'S TWICE.
I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKED HER.
YEAH, I LIKED HER A LOT.
AND THAT WAS IT. WE HAD OUR CREW.
SO NOW ALL WE NEEDED WAS THE CON.
Miles: BOTTOMS. AW!
HA HA HA!
SHIT.
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
WHO'S THE MOPE?
THIS IS LUPUS. HE WORKS WITH THE KING,
AND NOW HE'S GONNA BE PART OF OUR CREW.
I'M HERE TO MAKE SURE THINGS GO SMOOTHLY.
HUH?
Lily: ANYBODY GOT A LIGHT?
AND THIS IS LILY.
SHE'S THE NEW SHILL I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
WHOA.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.
WHAT IS THIS? ARE WE PLAYING A CON
OR ARE WE DOING A RENDITION OF OUR TOWN?
GORDO, TRUST ME,
WE NEED THE HELP ON THIS ONE, ALL RIGHT?
OUR NEW MARK?
MORGAN PRICE.
UH...WHY?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHO THE KING WANTS US TO FLEECE.
AND BESIDES, PRICE IS PERFECT.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR YOU.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR ME.
Jake: HIS OLD MAN WAS A BIG-TIME MOB ATTORNEY,
WHICH MAKES HIM A SECOND GENERATION CROOK.
WHEN HE DROPPED DEAD, PRICE CARRIED ON THE FAMILY TRADITION
BY OPENING A ONE-STOP SHOPPING CENTER
FOR MONEY LAUNDERING AND LOW INTEREST CORPORATE FRAUD.
WELL, FUCK HIM!
Jake: THEY SAY THAT ALMOST A BILLION DOLLARS
GETS WASHED THROUGH HIS SHOP EVERY YEAR,
SO WE KNOW HE'S GOT THE MONEY.
IT'S JUST A MATTER OF GETTING TO IT.
HOW MUCH ARE WE GOING AFTER?
5 MILLION.
WE ONLY OWE THE KING 150.
I KNOW. THAT'S WHY WE DON'T GO AFTER HIM DIRECTLY.
FIRST, WE FIND A DOABLE MARK IN PRICE'S BANK.
A MID-LEVEL EMPLOYEE.
WE MEET HIM WITH PAPERS INQUIRING ABOUT A CORPORATE LOAN.
OUR GUY THEN FUDGES NUMBERS IN THE RIGHT PLACES,
MOVES OUR PAPERS TO THE TOP OF THE PILE,
OR TO THE BOTTOM DEPENDING UPON WHAT WE NEED.
THE LOAN IS APPROVED.
ON THE GIVEN DAY, THE MONEY'S WIRED INTO A CORPORATE ACCOUNT
IN AN OFFSHORE BANK.
THAT SAME DAY, I SHOW UP IN BELIZE
WITH THE PROPER I.D. AND CORPORATE PAPERS TO MAKE THE WITHDRAWAL.
Miles: UM... WHAT? WHAT IS IT, MILES?
I'M JUST THINKING OUT LOUD HERE,
BUT 5 MILLION IN A BRIEFCASE?
GOOD POINT.
IT'S BANK POLICY NOT TO RELEASE THIS MONEY IN CASH
BECAUSE IT'S UNDER A CORPORATE ACCOUNT.
SO WE THEN CASH THE CHECK AT ANOTHER BANK.
ANY MAJOR AIRPORT'S GONNA BE TOO HARD TO CONTROL.
L.A.X. IS OUT.
SO WE USE ONTARIO.
MID-LEVEL HUB WITH DIRECT INTERNATIONAL FLIGHTS
40 MINUTES OUTSIDE L.A.
NOW, THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK INTO THE UNITED STATES
WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF CASH
WITHOUT EVOKING THE WORDS CAVITY SEARCH.
THAT'S WHY WE NEED SOMEONE ON THE INSIDE AT CUSTOMS.
THEN, WE DISAPPEAR.
HEH HEH.
ALL RIGHT, THIS MIGHT JUST BE ME,
BUT THAT IS HANDS DOWN
THE DUMBEST FUCKING IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD.
Gordo: PEOPLE HAVE TRIED THIS BEFORE, JAKE.
IT'S NEVER WORKED.
TEDDY FRAISER AND HIS CREW GOT NAILED
IN VANCOUVER JUST LAST YEAR.
LOOK, IT'S NEVER WORKED BEFORE
BECAUSE "A"--THEY DIDN'T FLUSH THE BANK ENOUGH,
"B"--THEIR CORPORATE PAPERS WERE FOR SHIT,
AND "C"--UNLIKE US,
THEY DID NOT HAVE SOMEBODY ON THE INSIDE AT CUSTOMS.
YEAH, OR "D"--IT'S A DUMB FUCKING IDEA.
HEY.
WHAT DO YOU FUCKING SUGGEST, MILES, HUH?
YOU WANT TO RUN?
WE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT BEFORE.
YEAH, WE NEVER HAD A FUCKING PROBLEM LIKE THIS BEFORE.
YES, WE HAVE!
OK? NOW WE WOULD'VE BEEN BEAUTIFUL ABOUT IT.
WE WOULD'VE HAD A BUCKET OF FRIED CHICKEN
DELIVERED TO THE KING WITH A NICE
"KISS MY ASS" CARD ATTACHED TO IT, AND WE WOULD'VE MOVED ON
UNTIL THE NEXT LOCAL PUTZ CAUGHT ON.
WE'RE GETTING TOO OLD TO RUN, MILES.
YEAH, WELL, WE'RE STILL A LITTLE TOO YOUNG FOR SAN QUENTIN.
LOOK, UM...
I MEAN, ARE YOU PISSED OFF ABOUT AL?
HEY, LOOK AT ME.
TRUST ME, I'M PISSED, TOO.
BUT I'M NOT 25 TO LIFE PISSED.
LOOK, I'M GETTING CLEAR OF THIS.
ALL RIGHT?
SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT FOR THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE,
THEN DO IT FOR THE MONEY. GORDO?
YEAH, JAKE, WHATEVER.
LOOK, THERE'S NO WHATEVERS WITH THIS ONE.
YOU'RE EITHER WITH ME OR AGAINST ME.
NO THIRD POSITION.
I'M IN.
OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
Miles: OH, FUCK.
Jake: I AGREED WITH MILES.
IT WAS, HANDS DOWN, A DUMB FUCKING IDEA.
BUT THEY BOUGHT IN. NOW I HAD TO DELIVER...
YEAH, IT'S VIG.
AND I NEEDED HELP.
Whitworth: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH THIS STUFF?
I MEAN, HEROIN. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH HEROIN?
YOU SELL IT. TO WHO?
DON'T BE A KNUCKLEHEAD.
[ON RADIO RECEIVER] HOW HARD DO YOU THINK IT IS
TO SELL ONE DRUG DEALER'S DRUGS TO ANOTHER DRUG DEALER?
HEY, IF VIG IS RIGHT,
WE'RE LOOKING AT 100, 150.
YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
I MEAN, WE NEVER DONE THIS SHIT BEFORE.
WELL, WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?
FILE A MISSING DRUG REPORT?
HEY, IF IT WORKS OUT,
WE COULD TURN THE GUY OVER A FEW TIMES.
I HOPE SO, BRO. I TOOK MY DAUGHTER
TO THE ORTHODONTIST YESTERDAY.
150 BUCKS TO TIGHTEN THOSE BITCHES UP.
TOOK HIM 5 MINUTES, THEN HE SAID IT WASN'T EVEN COVERED.
IT'S COSMETIC. THE PLAN DOESN'T COVER COSMETIC.
I HAD A CAP PUT IN HERE, RIGHT?
MY FUCKING DENTIST TELLS ME "YOU'RE NOT COVERED FOR THAT."
BULLSHIT COSMETICS. I TELL HIM, "LOOK,
I GOT A FREAKING TOOTH SPLIT IN HALF HERE, ALL RIGHT?"
WRITE THAT SHIT IN AS A CAVITY OR SOMETHING.
DID HE?
YEAH, HE DID.
FUCKING DEPARTMENT GOT THE BULLSHIT DENTAL PLAN.
THAT'S OUR MAN RIGHT THERE. RED BAG, RIGHT?
THAT'S THE GUY?
WE BETTER GO.
HEY, BUDDY! HEY, HEY, HEY, WHOA, WHOA!
COME HERE, MAN. WHAT YOU GOT IN THE BAG?
GET ON THE GROUND!
SO HOW'D YOU GET CAUGHT?
TOMMY SUITS USED TO SAY
THAT IN ANY CON, SOONER OR LATER,
SOMEBODY'S GONNA START ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.
USUALLY, IT TAKES A LITTLE LONGER, THOUGH.
Miles: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE
WE CAN'T MAKE A MOVE WITH THIS GUY ON US?
I THINK WE SHOULD DITCH HIM.
Jake; NO, WE NEED HIM. AND DUMMY UP. HERE HE COMES.
Gordo: AH, HERE HE IS.
HEY, HEY, WHOO! HOW'S THE HOOP, SUPERSTAR? CLEAN?
[SNICKERING]
WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU AND BATHROOMS, HUH? TELL ME.
HEY, HE CAN'T USE THE REST ROOM UNLESS HE KNOWS IT'S CLEAN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?
MANLY, ALL RIGHT, WISE GUY?
HEH HEH HEH. THAT'S CUTE.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS A MAJOR METROPOLITAN CITY, BROTHER.
PUBLIC SANITATION DOES NOT RUN VERY HIGH ON THE CITY HALL AGENDA.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GET OFF A TOILET SEAT
OR A DOORKNOB?
HMM? WANT TO RUN DOWN THE LIST?
HEPATITIS. YOU EVER HEAR OF THAT?
INFLUENZA, THE FUCKING FLESH-EATING DISEASE.
I'M EATING.
OH, YEAH. WE NOTICED. YOU NEED A SHOVEL DOWN THERE, DEAR?
[LAUGHING]
GORDO, GORDO, ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT?
WE GOTTA GET DOWN TO BUSINESS HERE.
MILES, WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU TO FIND US
A MARK INSIDE OF PRICE'S BANK, ALL RIGHT?
SOMEBODY WE CAN WORK WITH.
AND, GORDO, WE'RE GONNA NEED PAPERS.
CORPORATE, INSURANCE,
A LETTER OF INTENT, THE WHOLE 9.
ALL FUGAZZE? NO, NO, NO.
CORPORATE PAPERS GOTTA BE LEGIT.
OK, AND WE'RE ALL GONNA NEED NEW I.D.s.
YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE THEY'RE CLEAN.
SO GO TALK TO SUITS, AND HE'LL HOOK YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT CUSTOMS?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT CUSTOMS. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.
BUT WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME START UP CASH FIRST.
LUPUS, YOU THINK THE KING WOULD BE WILLING TO BANK US?
YOU ALREADY OWE HIM.
LUPUS, WE NEED A BANKER FOR THIS.
I MEAN, WE CAN'T DO THIS JOB WITHOUT A BANKER.
GORDO, DO WE NEED A BANKER?
I THINK SO, YES. I THINK WE NEED A BANKER.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN. YOU COULD TRY.
DUDE, HE'S NOT GONNA LISTEN TO ME.
I'LL BET IF YOU TALK TO HIM, LOOSEN HIM UP,
MAYBE HE'LL LISTEN TO YOU.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'LL TRY, OK?
DON'T DO US ANY FAVORS, ALL RIGHT?
JESUS, JOIN THE TEAM.
SO YOU GUYS GOOD? YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO?
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
LUPUS, LILY, WE'LL GO OVER TO SEE THE KING NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
READY TO ROLL? LET'S DO IT.
I'M NOT FINISHED.
SHE'S NOT FINISHED.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WHERE'S YOUR MANNERS?
OY!
NICE! YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S REAL. YOU'RE LICKING EACH OTHER. IT FEELS GOOD?
Woman: FEELS SO GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S-- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
JAKE'S HERE. HE WANTS YOU TO STAKE HIM
A COUPLE OF HUNDRED GRAND.
NO, NO, NO. HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE GETTING ME MONEY,
NOT COSTING ME MONEY.
HE SAYS WE NEED IT. AND I GOTTA SAY, BOSS,
THIS GUY'S PRETTY SHARP--
HERE, LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.
YOU GETTING A CRUSH ON HIM, HUH?
HUH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DON'T LET HIM GET INTO YOUR HEAD 'CAUSE HE'S A CHARMER.
YOU TELL HIM TO WAIT A MINUTE,
AND THEN YOU BRING HIM IN.
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
GET OUT OF HERE, GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU'RE STARTING TO SCARE ME, SPORT.
HARLIN. COME ON, GIRLS.
200K? ISN'T THAT MORE THAN YOU OWE ME?
Jake: HEY, LOOK, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THIS, ALL RIGHT?
OH, NO, YOU'RE A DAY LATE ON TRUST.
WELL, I--I THINK WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT HE'LL--
HEH HEH. OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH.
YOU BROUGHT HER FOR A REASON DIDN'T YOU, BOOSTER?
LET'S LISTEN TO HER.
NO, WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN UP, ALL RIGHT?
EVEN THOUGH I'M RUNNING THE SHOW FOR YOU,
I'M STILL RUNNING THE SHOW.
SO WE'RE GONNA PUT AN END
TO THE SCOOTER, JUNIOR, SKIPPY,
SPORT, TIGER, BOOSTER BULLSHIT.
ALL RIGHT, THE NAME IS JAKE.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU GET THE A.D.D. UNDER CONTROL.
YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, HONEY?
HER NAME IS LILY.
BOOSTER, HAVE I EVER REFERRED TO YOU AS HONEY?
HAVE I, SCOOTER? IT'S A COMMON MISTAKE THAT JAKE IS MAKING
WHEN HE SAYS A.D.D. WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS A.D.H.D.,
OR ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER.
YOU SEE, THE IMPORTANT WORD IS THE "H"-- HYPERACTIVITY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY DO YOU LET HER DO THAT
IF YOU CARE ABOUT HER? IT'S POISON, YOU SEE.
FEEL MY HEART.
GO AHEAD. I BET IT BEATS TWICE AS FAST AS YOURS.
GO ON, FEEL IT.
I'M FINE, THANKS.
OH, COME ON. WILL YOU FEEL MY HEART?
I'M NOT GONNA BITE YOU.
GOD, YOU FEEL GOOD.
LIKE A TRIP-HAMMER, RIGHT?
SEE, MUCH FASTER...
THAN YOURS.
WHY AM I ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH, JAKE?
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SHE IS, TOO.
I'M SORRY. I KNOW THAT WAS TASTELESS, DEAR.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT TO JAKE. OK?
LOOK, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU GET
YOUR A.D.D. UNDER CONTROL, ALL RIGHT,
AND WE GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.
OOH. I THINK JAKE'S REFERRING TO MY MEDICATION,
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS CONFIDENTIAL.
JACOB, COME ON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
YOU KNOW WHY I TAKE THAT STUFF.
BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I BECOME HYPER
OR PRIMITIVE, RIGHT?
OR IMPULSIVE. I NEVER KNOW WHEN I'M GOING TO LOSE IT.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME, OK?
HEY...
I'M NOT A VIOLENT MAN.
I LIKE TO THINK I'M ABOVE THAT, RIGHT?
YOU TOOK MY MONEY, AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING FOR MORE.
AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR.
WHICH IS HOW MUCH? TELL ME AGAIN.
200.
200. HOW MUCH IS THAT ALTOGETHER,
INCLUDING WHAT YOU TOOK FROM ME THE FIRST TIME?
350.
OH, THAT'S VERY GOOD.
YOU'RE SMART, AREN'T YOU?
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE SMART.
YOU'RE A SMART, SMART, SMART GUY,
SO BE SMARTER, HUH?
DON'T GET HURT. DON'T SCARE ME.
YOU GOT A GOOD, HEALTHY LONG LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.
I LIKE YOU. NOW SAY WE'RE SET.
WE'RE SET.
SAY IT LIKE YOU LIKE ME, TOO.
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.
SAY WE'RE SET LIKE YOU LIKE ME.
WE'RE SET.
OHH.
OK. I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR LOVELY, LOVELY LADY HOME.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
LET'S GO.
DON'T YOU EVER, EVER,
LET ANYONE STAND BEHIND ME
WITHOUT ME KNOWING. YOU HEAR ME?
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
SO THE KING GAVE YOU THE MONEY.
NOW WE JUST NEEDED TO FIND OUR GUY IN PRICE'S BANK.
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN A MARK
IS SOMEONE WHOSE WEAKNESSES YOU CAN EXPLOIT.
MICHELLE STRIGO, LOAN OFFICER.
Jake: A GUY LIKE ME, PEOPLE LIKE THAT,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WITHOUT EVEN MEETING THEM.
AAH! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU COCKSUCKER!
IT'S LIKE A PERSONAL AD YOU WEAR OVER YOUR HEAD.
SHE'S NOT GONNA WORK.
YOU SURE?
JAY HOUSLER, V.P. OF INTERNATIONAL FINANCE.
NO.
Miles: LEON ASHBY,
V.P. OF CORPORATE LOANS.
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN A MARK
IS SOMEONE WHO'S GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY, NO LIFE.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO DOESN'T OWN A RUG.
OH, YEAH, HE'S PERFECT.
Miles: YOU SURE?
YEAH, I'M SURE.
ASHBY WAS THE RIGHT MARK.
NOW I NEEDED TO SEE IF LILY
WAS THE RIGHT SHILL, SO I TESTED HER.
ONE WATCH ENGRAVED, "TO CAROLYN,
HAPPY GRADUATION, COUNSELOR, LOVE, MOM AND DAD."
Man: GOOD.
ONE BRACELET ENGRAVED, "TO ANNIE,
HAPPY 25th ANNIVERSARY, LOVE, TOM."
PERFECT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, MR. LEWIS.
OK, THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME. I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETHING ON HOLD FOR ME.
DO YOU HAVE A TICKET?
I DON'T. I LOST IT, BUT THE NAME IS HANSEN.
OK. THANKS A LOT.
MR. LEWIS, RIGHT?
YES?
YEAH, JAKE HANSEN. I GO TO LAW SCHOOL
WITH YOU DAUGHTER CAROLYN.
WE MET A COUPLE TIMES BEFORE.
OH, OF COURSE. JAKE.
YEAH, YEAH. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. YOU REMEMBER--LILY?
THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS MY WIFE LILY.
THIS IS CAROLYN'S FATHER.
OH! NICE TO MEET YOU.
A PLEASURE, I'M SURE.
SO, UH, WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWN FROM STANFORD?
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE LONG WEEKEND, HUH?
YEAH, WE'RE, UM...
IT'S OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.
OH, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. THAT'S GREAT.
CAROLYN'S DOWN FOR THE WEEKEND, TOO.
REALLY? IS SHE? YEAH.
MAYBE YOU COULD DO ME A FAVOR THEN.
WE SPLIT THE COST ON A COUPLE OF BOOKS
LAST SEMESTER AND I NEVER GOT
AND OPPORTUNITY TO PAY HER BACK.
OK, SURE. I'LL JUST WRITE YOU A CHECK.
THERE'S NOTHING FOR HANSEN.
IF WE HAD A TICKET, I COULD CHECK THE COMPUTER.
BUT YESTERDAY MY WALLET
AND MY WIFE'S PURSE WERE STOLEN,
AND THE TICKET WAS IN MY WALLET.
UM, MAYBE YOU COULD JUST CHECK AGAIN.
JEEZ, WHERE DID THIS HAPPEN?
WELL, WE'RE STAYING AT THE PENINSULA,
AND I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE HOUSEKEEPING STAFF.
WELL, JAKE HAS A LITTLE MORE FAITH IN HUMANITY THAN I DO,
SO HE HATES ME SAYING IT, BUT I THINK IT'S TRUE.
HEH HEH HEH! WELL,
OH, YOU HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL THESE DAYS.
YEAH, YOU SURE DO.
HONEY, I'M JUST GONNA GO AND PICK OUT A WALLET.
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, MR. LEWIS.
I'M SORRY, SIR. STILL NOTHING. REALLY?
MAY I ASK WHAT IT WAS?
YEAH. IT'S A SHAME.
IT WAS A PAIR OF-- A PAIR OF DIAMOND EARRINGS.
YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY? IT'S JUST LIKE THOSE.
WE HAVE THOSE IN STOCK.
OH, GREAT, WELL, LET ME WRITE YOU A CHECK--
ONLY WITH PROPER I.D.
YEAH, NO, I UNDERSTAND THAT,
BUT LIKE I JUST EXPLAINED TO YOU,
MY WALLET WAS...
LOOK, THIS IS SORT OF A VERY...
SPECIAL DAY FOR MY WIFE AND I,
IT BEING OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY, AND...
WELL, SHE THINKS WE'RE HERE TO PICK UP
SOMETHING FOR MY MOTHER, BUT I WANTED TO SURPRISE HER
WITH SOMETHING SPECIAL.
SO DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MAKE AN EXCEPTION TODAY?
I MEAN... JUST THIS ONE TIME.
I'M SORRY.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE TELL CAROLYN I SAID HELLO AND PASS THAT ONTO HER.
I SURE WILL.
AND OF COURSE, IT WAS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. UM...
LOOK, UM, JAKE,
WHY DON'T YOU WRITE ME A CHECK
AND LET ME PUT THE EARRINGS ON MY CREDIT CARD.
THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?
IF YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO THAT, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
GOOD. PLEASE.
MR. LEWIS, THANKS AGAIN.
YOU BET, JAKE.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT'S HOW YOU PULL A CON.
SO SMILE LIKE YOU JUST GOT A PRESENT
FROM THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.
HE'S GONE.NOW LET'S GIVE HIM A STRONG FINISH, ALL RIGHT?
HE'S GONE.
OH, YEAH.
I GOTTA GO GET A HAIRCUT.
HEY, HOW YOU DOIN'?
HEY, GUY. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, BOSS?
RIGHT HERE?
THIS IS GOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
I'M GONNA GO LIGHT.
I'M GONNA GET THE CHICKEN AND RIB COMBO.
THAT'S LIGHT?
YEAH, I'M NOT GETTING THE COLESLAW.
SO WHAT'S GOOD HERE?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
SPECIAL AGENT GUNTHER BUTAN.
SPECIAL AGENT.
I'M LOOKING FOR JAKE VIG.
WHO?
THE INVISIBLE MAN.
THE SPECTER, THE SPOOK, THE GHOST.
BUT THEN, THE OTHER DAY, LIKE A GIFT,
A BUDDY OF HIS,
A CREW MEMBER, ALPHONSE MOORELY--
YOU KNOW ALPHONSE MOORELY--
HE WAKES UP WITH A HOLE IN HIS HEAD.
LOOK, UH, SPECIAL AGENT--
WHAT--WHAT'S YOUR NAME? BUTAN.
I GOT A PRETTY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR LIKE MOST PEOPLE.
REALLY? YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?
YEAH, I DO. SO, YOU KNOW, IF THIS IS SOME KIND
OF A FUCKING JOKE, I'M NOT INTO THIS SHIT.
A JOKE?
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, I'M WORKING UNDERCOVER
ON A CASE THAT JAKE VIG IS INVOLVED WITH.
HE'S RUNNING SOME SORT OF SCAM,
IMPORTING MERCHANDISE FOR SOME GUY IN TAMPA.
AND I GOT CLOSE, REAL CLOSE, AND HE KNEW IT.
IN ORDER TO LET ME KNOW AND TO RUB IT IN,
HE SENT ME THIS TIE.
SINCE THEN, I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING HIM
FROM CHICAGO TO DENVER TO SALT LAKE CITY TO PHOENIX.
AND I'VE BEEN WEARING THIS TIE EVER SINCE
BECAUSE IT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED.
HEY, MAN, THAT'S A REAL NICE TIE.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT SAYS "SPECIAL AGENT."
YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS? IT SAYS...
"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, SO FUCK YOU."
SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU!
HEY!
[INHALES] JESUS CHRIST.
[EXHALES] TEMPER IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS.
TEMPER IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS.
Whitworth: HEY, MAN, CAN WE GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER--
I'M WORKING AT THIS TEMPER MANAGEMENT ISSUE.
MY DOC SAYS I SHOULD STAY CALM
BECAUSE I MIGHT DO OR SAY SOMETHING
THAT I MIGHT REGRET LATER.
LOOK, SPECIAL AGENT--
Manzano, on tape: SELL ONE DRUG DEALER'S DRUGS
TO ANOTHER DRUG DEALER?
HEY, HEY, CAN YOU PUT THAT AWAY?
WOW.
HEY, MAN. HEY, HEY, HEY!
Manzano: LET'S TAKE A WALK. LET GO FOR A WALK.
Butan: NOW HERE'S THE DEAL.
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HELP ME
CATCH JAKE VIG. WHATEVER HE'S INTO NEXT,
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE INTO.
AND WHATEVER YOU'RE INTO, I'M INTO.
THIS FUCKING GUN IS KILLING MY BACK.
IN EXCHANGE, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU GUYS ARE CLEARED
OF ANY PAST ASSOCIATIONS WITH VIG AS PART
OF A CROSS-DEPARTMENTAL INVESTIGATION.
AND THAT HOME MOVIE I GOT, I'LL MAKE SURE
THAT IT DOESN'T MOVE ITS WAY INTO INTERNAL AFFAIRS.
WHO KNOWS? THIS PRICK'S BEEN ON THE WISH LIST SO LONG,
YOU 2 GUYS MIGHT EVEN GET A PROMOTION.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF ALL THIS?
[SIGHS] PEACE OF MIND.
I MIGHT EVEN GET A CHANCE TO GET RID OF THIS FUCKING TIE.
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY, LLOYD?
NOT EVERYBODY'S ON THE TAKE.
Manzano: LOOK, IF YOU FEDS ARE SO HOT FOR THIS GUY,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET US GO OUT,
WE'LL BRING HIM IN, THAT'S IT.
A FOX IS NOT A FOX UNTIL HE'S CAUGHT IN THE HENHOUSE.
OH, NICE. WHAT IS THAT, AN ANALOGY?
METAPHOR. ACTUALLY, IT'S NEITHER.
BUT IT IS A GOOD DEAL.
YOU GUYS GO CLEAN, I GET PEACE OF MIND,
AND BETTER YET,
LLOYD'S DAUGHTER HERE GETS TO KEEP HER BRACES
AND HAVE THAT WINNING SMILE, JUST LIKE HER DADDY.
ONE MORE THING.
YOU GUYS CAN'T BE RUNNING AROUND
WITH HEROIN IN YOUR CAR.
Jake: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT BUTAN, ALL RIGHT?
HE'S JUST AS CROOKED AS THE NEXT GUY.
AND NOT FOR NOTHING, BUT YOU'D THINK HE'D HAVE
SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH TAXPAYER DOLLARS.
WELL, CUE THE FUCKING VIOLINS.
COME ON, MAN, IT'S GETTING COLD OUT HERE.
Jake: IT WAS ALL IN PLAY.
EVERYTHING. AND WITH A LITTLE LUCK,
WE'RE ABOUT TO LAND THE MARK.
WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
SHE'S 10 MINUTES LATE.
Jake, narrating: LUCK'S A FUNNY THING, ESPECIALLY THE BAD.
SHE'S NICE.
Jake, narrating: BLACK CATS, BREAKING A MIRROR,
3 ON A MATCH. [DOORBELL RINGS]
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
Jake, narrating: BELIEVE IT. BELIEVE IT ALL.
BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT BAD LUCK,
REDHEADS.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
AW, SHIT.
Jake, narrating: TOP 3 ALL-TIME WORST REDHEADS--
LIZZIE BORDEN, AXE MURDERER...
JUDAS, BETRAYER...
SHIRLEY VIG,
ABANDONER.
NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
ANY IDEA?
WHAT IS WITH THE HAIR?
WHAT? YOU TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT.
Jake, narrating: BUT THE FUCKING GRAND POO-BAH OF ALL JINXES?
A BIRD IN YOUR HOUSE.
A BIRD ENTERS YOUR HOUSE, IT MEANS DEATH.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS THEN?
I MEAN, WHAT'S WITH THE SCARF THEN WITH THE BIRDS?
I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!
YOU HAVE JUST PUT A MOTHER OF A JINX ON US.
GORDO, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Gordo: OY VEY.
[SIGHS] WE'RE DEAD.
DID I MISS SOMETHING, GUYS?
Gordo: SWEETHEART,
IT'S THE RED HAIR. IT'S BAD LUCK.
IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S A REAL REDHEAD, JAKE.
LOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER, ALL RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T FOOL BAD LUCK.
YOU CAN'T GET BY ON A TECHNICALITY.
YOU CAN'T TRICK KARMA.
YOU...JUST...FUCKED US.
SO MUCH FOR THAT GOOD FEELING, HUH?
THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR PUTTING A CHICK ON THE TEAM, RIGHT?
GORDO, BURN THAT.
LUPUS, THINK FAST.
LILY, HOLD ON A SECOND, WILL YOU? COME ON!
EXCUSE ME?
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
UH, NO. PLEASE.
THANKS.
OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY I'M LATE,
BUT I'M NOT THAT LATE.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GIVE AWAY MY SEAT.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING.
I DIDN'T KNOW, SORRY. NO PROBLEM.
THANKS FOR PLAYING ALONG.
I JUST HAD TO SIT DOWN FOR A WHILE.
TOUGH DAY?
BRUTAL DAY. WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
MAKER'S MARK, ON THE ROCKS.
HIS ROCKS, MINE STRAIGHT UP.
Bartender: YOU GOT IT.
MY NAME IS LEON. LEON ASHBY.
OH, GOD, I AM SO SORRY.
I'M OVERBEARING AND RUDE.
LILY. LILY FINN.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
IT'S MORE LIKE, WHAT DON'T I DO?
IT'S A LONG STORY.
WELL, WE'RE GETTING DRINKS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
MY PARTNERS AND I ARE TRYING TO SECURE START-UP CAPITAL
FOR A SMALL TECH COMPANY.
WELL, WE TRIED THE VENTURE CAPITALIST ROUTE,
BUT SINCE THE BUBBLE BURST ON DOT-COMS--
YOU'RE A FEW YEARS OFF THE MARK.
A LOT OF BUBBLES WERE BURST.
YEAH.
OPTIMISTS THAT WE ARE,
WE--WE THOUGHT WE'D TRY OUR LUCK
WITH A STRAIGHT CORPORATE LOAN.
Bartender: THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU. OH, NO, NO.
NO, ON ME.
FOR THE SEAT.
CHIN-CHIN.
SO WE'VE BEEN MEETING WITH BANKS ALL DAY.
IT'S AMAZING HOW MANY WAYS THEY CAN SAY NO
WITHOUT EVER ACTUALLY SAYING THE WORD.
WELL, TYPICALLY, A CORPORATE LOAN IS
A FAIRLY SIMPLE MATTER,
BUT YOU DO HAVE TO DEMONSTRATE
A CAPACITY FOR GROSS FUND RECOVERY.
LET ME GUESS.
YOUR BUBBLE DIDN'T BURST.
NO. NO, NOTHING LIKE THAT.
UM, I WORK IN A BANK.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
I WISH WE'D MET 8 HOURS AGO.
GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.
OH, MY PARTNERS ARE HERE.
UM, WE HAVE DINNER PLANS.
OH. WELL, UH...
THANK YOU FOR THE DRINK.
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
I WAS JUST GONNA ASK IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN US.
SURE.
OK.
Jake, narrating: SO SHE GOT ONE LEG OUT FROM UNDER HIM,
NOW WE HAD TO LEAN.
SO THEN MILES, GOD BLESS HIM, HE WALKS RIGHT INTO
THE FUCKING CREATIVE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE,
STRAIGHT IN THERE, AND HE SAYS,
"I'M SORRY, THIS PROGRAM IS FOR SHIT."
NO, NO!
AND THEN HE THROWS LIKE A THOUSAND PAGES OF CODE
ALL OVER THE FUCKING GUY'S OFFICE.
Jake: THIS IS OUR BOSS.
SO HE KICKS MILES AND I OUT OF THE OFFICE,
HE'S SCREAMING AND YELLING, "YOU'RE FIRED!
YOUR WHOLE FUCKING TEAM IS FIRED!"
NOW HE'S LOOKING FOR LILY, HE'S LOOKING FOR LUPUS,
AND, OF COURSE, HE CANNOT FIND GORDO.
AND THAT'S THE BEST PART. HE CANNOT FIND GORDO, OK?
SO WHAT HAPPENS? HE FINALLY FINDS HIM--
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL THIS PART!
HE'S IN THE BATHROOM, OK?
OH, NO, MILES.
SO HE KICKS DOWN THE STALL ROOM DOOR
AND STARTS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS.
AND THERE'S GORDO, OK,
HIS PANTS AROUND THE ANKLES...
WHAT?
PC WORLD MAGAZINE IN HAND,
AND HE'S PUNCHING THE CLOCK.
[LAUGHS]
I'M SORRY.
[ALL LAUGHING]
SPANKIN'. FRANKLY, I WAS SPANKIN',
AND IT WAS A FUCKING TRAUMATIZING EVENT
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE
A PUBLIC REST ROOM SINCE THAT DAY.
ME, NEITHER.
I SWEAR TO GOD.
GORDO'S GOT SOME ISSUES.
HE'S GOT SOME ISSUES.
AND LET'S NOT FORGET,
THE GREAT THING THAT DID COME FROM THAT DAY
WAS WE SAID "ENOUGH."
THAT'S THE DAY WE STARTED OUR OWN BUSINESS
AND SAID GOOD-BYE TO SHITHEAD BOSSES, SO...
Leon: YOU KNOW, I REALLY ADMIRE YOU GUYS,
TAKING A CHANCE LIKE THAT.
Lily: LEON HERE WORKS AT A BANK.
WHAT BANK DID YOU SAY IT WAS?
OH, PRICE TRUST.
NO SHIT. REALLY? MM-HMM.
WOW, TALK ABOUT SHITHEAD BOSSES.
NOW THAT'S GOTTA BE A TRIP.
WHAT'S HE LIKE TO WORK FOR?
OH, YOU KNOW, HE'S OK.
REALLY?
OH, COME ON!
WELL, HE'S A--
HE'S JUST A FUCKING SHITHEAD. WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?
[ALL LAUGHING]
SO WHAT DO YOU DO OVER THERE AT PRICE?
I'M THE VP IN CHARGE OF CORPORATE LOANS.
WOW.
WELL, WE HAVEN'T MET ANYONE OF YOUR LEVEL BEFORE.
VP.
SO THAT MEANS IT'S YOU AND THEN THE "P."
GIVE THAT MAN A NOBEL PRIZE.
WELL DONE.
GENIUS.
[CHUCKLES] YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
Jake, narrating: HERE'S WHERE A LITTLE RESEARCH COMES IN HANDY.
CORPORATE BANKS GIVE OUT VP TITLES LIKE CALENDERS.
IT'S A SMALL LIE, BUT NOW WE'RE SURE HE'S PLAYING.
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU CAN HELP EXPLAIN TO US
WHAT'S SO DIFFICULT ABOUT GETTING A CORPORATE LOAN?
WELL, NORMALLY, NOTHING.
BUT A TECH FIRM RIGHT NOW?
PEOPLE ARE REALLY SCARED.
Jake: PEOPLE ARE SCARED BECAUSE THEY LACK VISION.
PRESENT COMPANY EXCLUDED, OF COURSE.
Leon: WELL, YOU KNOW, A BANK DOES NEED TO KNOW
WHERE IT'S MONEY'S GONNA COME FROM.
THAT IS TRUE.
Jake: WELL, WE KNOW WHERE WE'RE GETTING OUR MONEY BACK FROM,
BUT THEREIN LIES OUR CATCH-22.
I--I DON'T-- I DON'T FOLLOW.
WELL-- JAKE, COME ON.
NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. LEON HERE IS
ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS.
Lily: RIGHT?
Jake: WHAT I'M GONNA TELL YOU,
I'M TELLING YOU IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE, ALL RIGHT?
IT DOES NOT LEAVE THIS FUCKING TABLE.
SURE. FINE.
SO YOU KNOW HOW THE DOT-COMMERS DID WHAT THEY DID, RIGHT?
IN WHAT WAY?
WELL, THE WAY IN HOW THEY MADE THEIR MONEY.
ESSENTIALLY, THEY START WITH AN IDEA,
SHOP IT AROUND TOWN, RAISE A LITTLE CAPITAL,
AND THEN SOLD IT TO A BIGGER COMPANY
LIKE A MICROSOFT OR ORACLE OR AN INTEL.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
[WHISPERS] There's half right there.
BUT THE BEAUTY OF IT WAS,
THEY SOLD IT BEFORE THE THING WAS EVEN REAL.
SO NOW YOU'VE GOT THE BIGGER COMPANY
ALREADY SET UP TO BUY THE THING,
THEY JUST WANT TO SEE THAT IT WORKS.
SO THESE GUYS GO OUT,
GET SOME START-UP CAPITAL,
MAKE IT WORK, AND THEN SELL IT
FOR 5 OR 6 TIMES THE INITIAL LOAN.
MMM, DELICIOUS.
Leon: BUT YOU NEED A LETTER OF INTENT.
Jake: EXACTLY.
AND THAT'S OUR CATCH-22.
WE CAN'T REALLY GO OUT AND TALK ABOUT IT
BECAUSE IF IT'S PUBLIC,
POTENTIALLY, WE START A BIDDING WAR,
AND THAT'S CONSIDERED A BREACH OF ETIQUETTE.
IT KILLS THE DEAL. HOWEVER, WE WAIT TOO LONG,
AND WE'RE NOT CONSIDERED HOT ANYMORE.
AND YOU, UH--
YOU HAVE THIS LETTER OF INTENT?
Jake: YES, WE DO. ALL WE'RE DOING IS
APPLYING THE DOT-COM MODEL TO A DIFFERENT PRODUCT.
[CLEARS THROAT] YEAH...
BUT THE DOT-COMS FAILED.
Jake: YEAH, BUT THAT'S ONLY--
NO, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
IT, UH--
THAT'S GONNA BE A REALLY TOUGH SELL.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS HAVE A REAL BATTLE ON YOUR HANDS.
THAT'S BULLSHIT! LUPUS.
LOOK...
SORRY, MR. ASHBY, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
BUT I JUST DON'T THINK YOU CAN ARGUE WITH THE SUCCESS
OF THE BUSINESS MODEL.
IT WAS REALLY AN OVER-EXTENSION
OF THE MODEL TO WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE
A LIMITED CONSUMER DEMAND
THAT CAUSED THE DOT-COM COLLAPSE.
NOW, APPLIED TO A PROPER PRODUCT,
WITH A SOLID CONSUMER BASE
THE MODEL STILL HOLDS UP.
HE MAY BE RIGHT.
Jake: LET ME BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE THIS CLOSE TO CUTTING SOMEBODY
IN ON THE ACTION,
IF THEY'D BE WILLING TO HELP.
WE JUST NEED TO FIND SOMEBODY WITH SOME BALLS.
SHALL WE ORDER ANOTHER ROUND?
YEAH.
Miles: YES.
LUPUS, NICE SAVE IN THERE. I'M VERY IMPRESSED.
POOR BASTARD NEVER KNEW WHAT HIT HIM.
JESUS CHRIST, I ALMOST FELT SORRY FOR THE GUY.
I GOTTA GO WORK OFF SOME OF THIS ADRENALINE.
HEY, I HAVE AN IN ON A CARD GAME
WITH SOME OF THESE HOLLYWOOD STUDIO DIPSHITS
OUT IN BRENTWOOD. ANYBODY WANT A PIECE?
I'M GOING HOME. I'LL GO. JAKE?
NO. NO, I'M GOOD.
OH, YOU SURE? YEAH.
OH, LUPUS, YOU SHOULD COME.
OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THESE GUYS.
BUNCH OF FUCKING KNOBS.
HEY, LUPUS?
WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER, YOU'LL LET US KNOW
WHO THE KING PUT ON BIG AL, RIGHT?
YOU GONNA HAVE TIME?
I'LL FIND THE TIME.
YOU WANT TO GO, DON'T YOU?
FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS? NOT INTERESTED.
MM, YOU'D DO IT FOR FREE.
YOU'RE ALMOST DROOLING.
YOU LIKE THE RUSH.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE RUSH.
IT'S JUST, FOR ME, IT'S A JOB.
YOU KNOW, IT'S WHAT I DO.
WHY, YOUR MOTHER NOT BREAST-FEED YOU OR SOMETHING?
YOU ASKING ME IF I GOT SOMETHING TO PROVE?
DO YOU?
NOT IN THAT REPRESSED ANGER SORT OF WAY,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
I GET THE FEELING YOU COULD'VE
BULLSHITTED YOUR WAY INTO ANYTHING.
WHY THIS?
I'M GOOD AT IT, YOU KNOW.
LYING, CHEATING, MANIPULATING.
IT ALL CAME VERY NATURALLY TO ME.
NO, IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
THE THRILL OF IT?
I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU FIND THAT EXCITING TONIGHT?
THE WAY YOU WERE WORKING THAT GUY ASHBY?
FLIRTING, GIVING HIM YOUR SWEET LITTLE SMILE,
BRUSHING UP AGAINST HIM,
OCCASIONALLY TOUCHING HIM.
I HAVE A FEELING YOU WERE GETTING OFF ON THAT TONIGHT.
ALL I DID WAS SMILE AND SHAKE MY ASS.
YEAH, BUT YOU DID IT VERY WELL.
SOON ENOUGH, YOU'LL HAVE MORE TO DO
AND I HAVE A FEELING YOU'LL BE GOOD AT THAT, TOO.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
INTUITION.
[LILY GIGGLING]
SO SHE HAD YOU TEMPTING FATE.
YOU KNOW, MY OLD MAN AND HIS BUDDIES FROM WORK
USED TO PLAY THE SAME LOTTO NUMBERS EVERY WEEK.
I MEAN, THE SAME NUMBERS FOR 16 YEARS.
ONE DAY, HE GETS PISSED, DECIDES HE'S OUT,
HE'S GONNA PLAY HIS OWN NUMBER.
THEY THEN HIT THE LUCKY 7 FOR 3.5 MILLION WITHOUT HIM.
THAT'S FATE FOR YOU.
I GUESS HE PASSED ON THAT UNLUCKY ASSHOLE GENE.
Travis: TURN AROUND!
YOU SHOULD'VE TRUSTED ME, JAKE.
YEAH, APPARENTLY SO.
EVERYTHING LOOKS IN ORDER.
Jake: YOU KNOW, LEON, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE QUICKLY HERE.
I KNOW. UM, IT WON'T GO UNNOTICED.
WHAT'S THIS?
Jake: LET'S CALL THAT A CONVINCER.
WE'RE GONNA NEED TO, UH,
SLOW DOWN A BIT.
IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT RECOUPING THE LOAN,
WE'VE GOT THE LETTER OF INTENT.
NO, IT'S-- I UNDERSTAND THAT.
WHAT I'M TRYING--
WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS, UH,
WHAT I'M WONDERING ABOUT IS, UM--
IS MY CUT.
Jake, narrating: AND THERE IT IS.
ASHBY GETS THE ITCH.
2%...
Lily: OF FIVE MILLION.
Gordo: WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT BACK, LEON.
3 OR 4 TIMES OVER.
BY THE TIME ANYONE CATCHES ON,
THE LOAN'S ALREADY BEEN REPAID.
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG,
EXCEPT SPEED THINGS UP.
Jake: THEN ALL YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOUR CUT
IS PUT SOME PAPERWORK THROUGH,
AND PUSH A BUTTON TOMORROW.
Travis: YEAH, BUT THERE WERE OTHER FACTORS.
YEAH, FACTORS THAT WEREN'T CLEAR TO ME UNTIL NOW.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
WE GOT JACK SHIT.
LOOK...
I'M NOT A CONFRONTATIONAL MAN BY NATURE,
BUT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO START WORKING WITH ME ON THIS THING.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD FROM VIG, MAN. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF HE WANTS TO CUT US IN ON THIS SHIT
HE'S GOT GOING DOWN WITH THE KING.
MAYBE YOU 2 GUYS NEED TO BE
A LITTLE BIT MORE PROACTIVE, LLOYD.
AND YOU GOTTA MAKE HIM THINK
THAT YOU'RE GONNA KEEP ME OFF OF HIS BACK,
AND FOR THAT, HE'S GONNA CUT YOU IN
ON WHATEVER HE'S GOT GOING WITH KING.
YOU GOT THAT?
OMAR, YOU GOT IT?
FLIGHT'S BOOKED TO BELIZE.
WE'RE ALMOST HOME.
HUH? I GOTTA GET YOU HOME TO PACK.
I CAN PICTURE ME WITH A DRINK
WITH THE UMBRELLA IN IT.
A LITTLE SUNSCREEN ON THE NOSE.
HEY, CHIEF.
BACK OFF!
WHOA, MAN, TAKE IT EASY!
Miles: JESUS!
WHAT, THE TIP NOT WORK OUT FOR YOU GUYS?
OH, THE TIP WORKED OUT JUST FINE, JAKE.
WE'RE JUST A LITTLE CURIOUS, THOUGH, ABOUT THE FED.
HEY, LOOK, YOU DON'T PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES--
GET THE FUCK BACK! BACK UP!
SPECIAL AGENT GUNTHER BUTAN. THAT RING A BELL?
GUNTHER? NO, I THINK I WOULD REMEMBER A GUNTHER.
LET ME JOG YOUR MEMORY A LITTLE.
JESUS! FUCK!
GUNTHER BUTAN, YOU SAY?
YEAH, I, UH--
ACTUALLY, I THINK I MIGHT KNOW THIS GUY.
YEAH, WELL, HE'S IN TOWN,
AND HE SURE AS SHIT REMEMBERS YOU.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS, JAKE?
WE CAN'T AFFORD HAVING A FED ONTO US LIKE THIS.
HUH?
YEAH, WELL, I WOULDN'T DREAM OF THAT.
UHH!
FUCK, MAN!
WELL, THE WAY WE LOOK AT IT, JAKE,
YOU HAVE A LIMITED WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY HERE
BEFORE HE CATCHES UP TO YOU.
BUT I GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, OK?
YOU GOT US. WE'RE YOUR WHITE KNIGHTS.
WE'RE GONNA KEEP HIM OFF YOUR BACK.
AND WE GET A PIECE OF WHATEVER YOU GOT GOING DOWN WITH THE KING,
AND DON'T FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME, MAN,
'CAUSE I GOT A LOT OF PENT-UP AGGRESSION.
SAY SOMETHING STUPID IF WE GOT A DEAL, JAKE.
COME ON.
SOMETHING STUPID.
DON'T LEAVE TOWN, BROTHER.
AH, FUNNY.
HAVE A NICE DAY, OFFICERS.
Butan:: HOW DID WE DO?
WE DID EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAID.
I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN YOU, LLOYD.
Lupus: WHY IS THIS GUY SO HARD UP FOR YOU?
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY.
WE GO WAY BACK.
Jake: A FEW YEARS AGO, WE WERE WORKING IN TAMPA
FOR A LOCAL GOON.
TURNS OUT THIS MUTT WAS BEING WATCHED BY THE FEDS,
WHICH NOW MEANT WE WERE BEING WATCHED BY THE FEDS.
ONE IN PARTICULAR:
AGENT GUNTHER BUTAN.
[BOAT HORN HONKS]
WE WERE JUST OVERSEEING SOME CREATIVE IMPORTING,
SO HE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ON US.
BUT I FIGURED MAYBE THIS GUY IS GOOD FOR A FIX.
OUR GUYS IN THE LAPD, GIVE 'EM 20 BUCKS,
THEY'LL LOOK THE OTHER WAY ON A PARKING TICKET.
MAYBE YOU'LL GET YOURSELF A NEW TIE WITH THAT.
BUT A FED?
YOU GET A GUY LIKE THAT AS YOUR FIX...
IT WAS PROBABLY A STUPID IDEA.
THERE I WAS, ARMANI AND ROLEX.
THERE HE IS, J.C. PENNEY AND TIMEX.
SO I TOOK A SHOT,
BUT NOW HE HAD ME ON ATTEMPTED BRIBERY
OF A FEDERAL AGENT.
SO THAT'S HOW GUNTHER BUTAN AND I BECAME FRIENDS.
BUTAN. HERE.
SO WHAT? WE JUST STAY CLEAR OF HIM.
I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK WE GOTTA WALK.
Gordo: WAIT A MINUTE. WE CAN HANDLE THIS.
COME ON.
NO, NOT THIS TIME.
I SAY WE WALK.
TAKE IT EASY FOR A SECOND.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT EASY,
ALL RIGHT, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THIS GUY.
HE'S GONNA BE ALL OVER US
LIKE WHITE ON RICE, ALL RIGHT?
THERE'S NO SHAKING HIM, AND YOU KNOW IT.
SO WE CHANGE THE SCAM A LITTLE.
LOOK, THERE IS NO MORE FUCKING SCAM.
I GOT A SIGN ON MY BACK NOW.
I CAN'T LEAVE TOWN AND THEN SHOW UP
WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF MONEY.
IT'S OVER. THE GIG IS UP.
JAKE, THE SKIRT'S GOT A POINT.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TWEAK IT A LITTLE BIT.
Jake: IT'S OVER. THAT'S IT.
YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY.
AND YOU GUYS ARE TOO CARELESS WITH THE MONEY.
I MEAN, GORDO, YOU WITH THE FUCKING CARS.
YOU WITH THE STRIPPERS.
ACTUALLY, THEY CALL THEMSELVES DANCERS.
THEY CALL THEMSELVES DANCERS, HUH?
WHAT ABOUT BIG AL? DID THAT NOT FUCKING REGISTER WITH YOU?
YOU REMEMBER SEEING HIM SITTING THERE
WITH A BULLET HOLE IN HIS HEAD?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING?
YOU'RE BEING SUCH A RAVING PUSSY.
I MEAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?
SWEETHEART, WE FUCKED ONCE, OK?
THAT DOES NOT ENTITLE YOU A VOICE IN THIS ROOM.
AND DON'T THINK I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WEREN'T WORKING
SOME ANGLE THAT NIGHT, EITHER.
EASY, JAKE. THAT'S A LADY.
EVERYONE'S WORKING AN ANGLE, RIGHT?
THERE ARE 3 PEOPLE I TRUST IN THIS WORLD.
THOSE 2 GUYS ON THE COUCH AND A DEAD GUY.
YOU, I DON'T KNOW YOU. YOU'RE LIKE A STRAY DOG
THAT WANDERED INTO MY HOUSE ONE DAY
LOOKING FOR A BELLY RUB.
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK
TO WHEREVER IT IS YOU CAME FROM?
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYBODY LOOKING FOR YOU.
NOT THE KING, NOT BUTAN, NOT PRICE.
OK, SO JUST CUT LOOSE OF THIS. IT IS OVER.
WHAT ABOUT--
WHAT ABOUT WHAT?
WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?
THERE IT IS, HUH?
THAT LITTLE ITCH YOU NEED TO SCRATCH.
ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT? YOU WANT AN APOLOGY?
NO, I WANT MY CUT.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
COUNT TO 10,
AND TRY AND GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL,
THERE IS NO CUT.
YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
Gordo: AHEM. SO, UH,
THAT'S IT, HUH?
THAT'S IT.
WE'RE CLOSIN' UP SHOP.
YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT TO DO, RIGHT?
JESUS CHRIST, JAKE,
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GONNA JUST--
MILES.
Travis: SO MUCH FOR HONOR AMONG THIEVES.
YOU WERE GONNA CUT LOOSE YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR GIRL--
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
ALL RIGHT. I WAS DOIN' IT FOR THEM.
I WAS TRYIN' TO PROTECT THEM.
BULLSHIT. YOU WEREN'T DOIN' IT FOR THEM,
YOU WERE FUCKIN' SCARED, JAKE!
COME ON, JUST ADMIT IT, YOU LOST YOUR NERVE,
AND YOU LOST YOUR CONFIDENCE.
YOU WEREN'T TRYIN' TO BE NOBLE.
YOU WEREN'T TRYIN' TO SAVE ANYBODY BUT YOUR GODDAMN SELF, ADMIT IT.
LOOK, PAL, YOU GOT NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S NOT TRUE.
IT IS FUCKIN' TRUE!
THEY WERE RIGHT THERE FOR YOU, JAKE!
SHE WAS RIGHT THERE FOR YOU.
LOOK AT HER.
I FUCKIN' SAID LOOK AT HER.
SHE TRUSTED YOU,
AND YOU SOLD HER OUT.
NOW I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HER...
AND I WANT YOU TO TELL HER.
BE A FUCKIN' MAN, YOU BE HONEST.
YOU TELL HER.
YOU TELL HER
THAT YOU LOVED HER...
BUT THE FUCKIN' MONEY MEANT MORE TO YOU.
FUCKIN' GRIFTERS, MAN.
GENTLEMEN'S RACKET, MY FUCKIN' ASS.
YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER LOW-LIFE SCAMMER
LOOKIN' OUT FOR NUMBER ONE.
GET THE FUCK UP.
[CLICK]
GET THE FUCK UP!
[ECHOING] GET THE FUCK UP.
Lupus: KING AIN'T GONNA LIKE THIS.
YOU KNOW, HE HAD A REAL THING
WITH GETTIN' THIS PRICE GUY.
IF YOU ASK ME,
I THINK HE'S JEALOUS.
OF WHAT? THEY'RE BOTH CROOKS.
YOU KNOW THEY ACTUALLY GREW UP IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD?
KING TALKS ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
HOW COME HE'S ALWAYS HUMPIN' IT OUT
WHILE THIS PRICE GUY
HE GETS TO WALK AROUND IN 3-PIECE SUITS,
HOBNOB WITH MOVIE STARS,
OWN A BANK,
THAT TYPE OF SHIT.
NEXT TO PRICE THE KING IS STILL SMALL-TIME,
AND HE'S PISSED OFF ABOUT IT.
A POINT, LUPUS. GIVE US A POINT, WILL YOU?
LOOK, I REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT
IF THE KING THINKS
HE'S A PIMPLE ON PRICE'S ASS.
HE WOULDN'T PISS ON MY FACE
IF MY TEETH WERE ON FIRE.
THAT'S NICE.
INTERESTING IMAGERY.
Lupus: LOOK AT THAT.
THE SIZE OF A CIGAR, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHY I GOT THAT?
THE KING ASKED ME FOR A 4-SHOT ONE DAY.
THAT'S 4 SHOTS OF ESPRESSOS.
TURNS OUT THAT WE ONLY HAVE ENOUGH COFFEE
FOR A 3-SHOT.
SO I'M THINKIN' MAYBE, YOU KNOW, I'M DOIN' HIM A FAVOR,
AND BEFORE HE EVEN COMES PICKS IT UP,
HE'S SCREAMIN' AT ME LIKE I JUST HIT ON HIS MOTHER.
I ASSUME THIS IS GONNA LEAD TO SOME KINDA POINT.
YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BRINGIN' HIM
THE WRONG FUCKIN' CUP OF COFFEE.
IMAGINE WHAT HE'S GONNA DO TO YOU.
Jake: I HAVE TO ADMIT, HE DID HAVE A POINT.
THERE WAS NO WAY
THE KING WAS GONNA LET US SLIDE.
YEAH, SO WE WERE BACK ON.
AFTER YOU CUT HER LOOSE.
WHICH WAS APPARENTLY MY MISTAKE.
HOW'D YOU KNOW
WE'D STILL GO THROUGH WITH IT?
I KNOW YOU, JAKE,
AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
MORGAN PRICE, PLEASE.
Price: MM-HMM.
YEAH...
I'D BE INTERESTED IN THAT.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME AN ADDRESS,
AND I'LL SEND OVER A CAR AND...
YOU AND I CAN DISCUSS
THE PARTICULARS OF YOUR PROPOSAL.
Lily, on phone: NO...
I COME TO YOU AND I ONLY DEAL WITH YOU.
[BEEP]
Jake: IT WAS A SMART PLAY.
SHE HANDED ME TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER.
SILVER PLATTER?
MOTHERFUCKER, LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.
THAT'S AN EXCITING STORY.
TRAVIS...
ANYBODY EVER TRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE?
NOT THAT I CAN RECALL.
AND HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED FOR THIS FINDER'S FEE?
10%.
I STUDIED UNDER A NOBEL LAUREATE
OF ECONOMICS AT CAMBRIDGE,
AND I THINK EVEN SHE'D SAY 10 WAS HIGH.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
IF YOU STUDIED AT MAURICE'S ACADEMY OF WIG DESIGN.
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M EVEN HERE.
[WHISPERING] 10 is standard.
Price: OK. TRAVIS,
SEE IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO TELL YOU
HOW HE DID IT...
OR ALMOST DID IT.
SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD STORY.
OH, I'LL GET IT.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?
TODAY?
WELL, TODAY STARTED OFF GREAT.
Jake: ASHBY WAS GONNA CALL US
WITH THE EXACT TIME OF THE TRANSFER.
THE KING WAS WAITING ON US.
JUST TO BE SAFE,
GORDO WAS BOARDING THE PLANE INSTEAD OF ME.
I NEEDED MANZANO AND WHITWORTH
TO KEEP BUTAN OFF OUR BACKS,
AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD DO THAT
WAS TO STAY IN TOWN AND CUT THEM IN ON THE DEAL.
SO THEY WAITED FOR MY CALL
WHILE MILES AND I WAITED FOR ASHBY.
HE SHOULD BE LANDIN' RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
THAT CUSTOMS GUY'S READY, RIGHT?
I FEEL LUCKY TODAY, MILES.
REAL LUCKY.
FOUND A PENNY.
HEADS UP.
AND WE GOT RID OF THE REDHEAD.
YEAH...
WE GOT RID OF THE REDHEAD.
JAKE...
CUSTOMS?
Jake, narrating: THEY SAY A GOOD CHESS PLAYER
CAN SEE UP TO 20 MOVES DEEP.
THAT MEANS THAT IN SOME GAMES
YOU'VE CALCULATED EVERY POSSIBLE MOVE IN YOUR HEAD.
THE GAME'S OVER EVEN BEFORE IT'S REALLY STARTED.
LIKE A GAME OF CHESS,
SAME WITH A CON.
YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT DEEP. [RING]
YEAH?
ASHBY, IT'S VIG.
Ashby: JAKE, YEAH, UH-HUH.
YEP, IT'S GOIN' THROUGH...
RIGHT...
NOW.
GOOD.
Jake, narrating: AND WITH THE PUSH OF A BUTTON,
ALL THE PIECES WERE IN PLAY.
Jake: GORDO,
IT'S ALL GOOD. DO IT.
FIRST AND GOAL.
HI, THERE.
HELLO.
I'D LIKE THIS CASHED, PLEASE.
[DOOR OPENS]
Secretary: MR. ASHBY,
MR. THOMPSON FROM INTERNATIONAL CALLING.
HE HAS A 34-R
ON A CORPORATE ACCOUNT IN BELIZE.
UH, THAT'S PROBABLY JUST A NEW ACCOUNT MARKER.
I'LL, UH--
Jake: TO INSURE WE WEREN'T GOING TO WELSH,
ASHBY'S CUT WAS ELECTRONICALLY TRANSFERRED
INTO HIS OWN OFF-SHORE ACCOUNT.
[LAUGHS]
TELL YOU WHAT,
I AM GOING TO LUNCH.
YOU TELL HIM I'LL CALL HIM BACK LATER.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Jake: WE CALLED THEM THE GREEN TWINKIES.
[SIGHS]
GOT TWINKIES.
GORDO, THAT'S OUTSTANDING.
GOOD WORK.
[BEEP]
LUPUS...WE GOT THE MONEY.
Lupus: HO, HO, HO, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
GORDO'S FLYIN' BACK WITH IT NOW.
ALL RIGHT, SO WE'LL HEAD ON OVER TO THE BAR
AND MEET UP WITH EVERYBODY THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
Jake, narrating: I SENT MILES TO THE AIRPORT
[CELL PHONE RINGS] TO WAIT FOR GORDO TO LAND.
EVERYTHING WAS GOING AS PLANNED.
GORDO.
GORDO, PLEASE, DO ME A FAVOR,
JUST USE THE BATHROOM ON THE PLANE, ALL RI--
GORDO? GORDO!
[BEEP]
GUY'S WALKIN' AROUND WITH $5 MILLION CASH,
AND HE'S GONNA STOP
TO USE A PUBLIC BATHROOM AT THE AIRPORT?
UN-FUCKIN'-BELIEVABLE.
[LAUGHS]
THAT GUY'S GOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
YEAH, YOU'RE TELLIN' ME.
Jake: AND HERE'S WHERE I GOT STUPID.
HERE'S WHERE I GOT THAT BIG FUCKIN' ITCH.
WHAT?
I GOT SOMETHIN' ON ME?
I'M GONNA BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU, LUPUS.
I DON'T THINK WE COULDA GOTTEN THIS FAR WITHOUT YOU,
SO I GOT A LITTLE PROPOSITION FOR YOU.
A WAY FOR US TO CLEAR THE WHOLE 5 MILLION.
NOW THINK ABOUT THAT.
5 MILLION...SPLIT 4 WAYS.
YOU WANT IN?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, IT'S VIG. [BEEP]
I'M GONNA NEED AN ESCORT. NOT A RIDE, JUST AN ESCORT.
ONTARIO AIRPORT. LOOK FOR GORDO.
HE'S GONNA BE CARRYING A BLACK NIKE DUFFEL BAG.
YOU GUYS TAKE CARE OF BUTAN?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT BUTAN,
WE GOT HIM COVERED.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
THAT WAS HIM.
THERE'S A SHIPMENT COMIN' IN THIS AFTERNOON.
ONTARIO AIRPORT.
WE'RE GONNA GIVE MR. JAKE VIG
THE SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME.
Man, on phone: FBI AGENT ROSEN SPEAKING.
ARTIE...BUTAN.
YEAH, ONTARIO AIRPORT THIS AFTERNOON.
COME HEAVY.
Jake: ALL RIGHT, MY FRIEND,
ALL WE NEED YOU TO DO IS CALL THE KING,
TELL HIM IT'S ALL GOOD.
GET THE KING OFF OF OUR BACKS.
[BEEP]
Lupus: YEAH, BOSS,
IT'S ME LUPUS.
YOU WERE RIGHT,
HE'S TRYIN' TO FUCK YOU.
VIG'S TRYIN' TO FUCK YOU. WHAT?
POLICE ESCORTS ARE GOING TO PICK UP THE MONEY.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.
I SHOULDA LISTENED TO MY INSTINCT. SHIT!
LUPUS, HOW DO WE GET THE MONEY NOW?
Lupus: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE IT IN THE AIRPORT.
THE GUY, HE'S GOT A BLACK NIKE DUFFEL BAG
ON WHEELS.
HE'S GOT THIS THING WITH BATHROOMS.
IF HE MAKES IT THROUGH CUSTOMS,
HE'LL BE HEADING FOR THE JOHN.
THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
WE'LL GET HIM WITH HIS PANTS DOWN.
YOU'LL TAKE CARE OF SCOOTER ONCE WE GET THE MONEY.
[BEEP]
MAYBE GORDO'S GOT IT RIGHT.
MAYBE WE'RE ALL JUST LOOKIN'
FOR A SAFE PLACE TO SHIT.
[LAUGHS]
THAT'S CUTE.
VERY CUTE.
WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT BULLSHIT AT THE BAR
ABOUT YOUR 3-SHOT, 4-SHOT ESPRESSO SOB STORY, HUH?
SHOWED ME YOUR LITTLE BOO BOO ON YOUR ARM.
WHAT WAS ALL THAT FUCKIN' SHIT?
THAT? I GOT THAT A FEW YEARS AGO
AT A BARBECUE GRILLIN' HALIBUT.
[LAUGHS]
Whitworth: DO YOU TRUST THIS BUTAN GUY?
Manzano: I DON'T TRUST ANYBODY.
I'M GETTIN' SO SICK AND TIRED OF LISTENIN'
TO THIS FUCKIN' DOUCHEBAG'S SHIT,
I SWEAR TO FUCKIN' GOD, MAN.
IF MY KID'S TEETH WEREN'T SO FUCKED UP,
I'D LOVE TO WALK UP TO THAT DUDE,
JUST TAKE THAT GAY HAT OF HIS,
AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP HIS ASS ON PRINCIPLE.
SEE HOW BAD THIS GUY WANTS VIG, MAN?
IT'S LIKE A SICKNESS.
I SAY WE COLLAR HIM OURSELVES, YOU KNOW,
THAT WAY WE GOT VIG,
WE GOT LEVERAGE, AND WE TRADE.
VIG FOR THE TAPE.
Butan, on radio: IT'S BUTAN. YOU GUYS AWAKE?
YEAH, WE'RE HERE.
OK, STAY SHARP.
[TIRES SCREECH]
BE RIGHT BACK.
IS THIS IT?
IS THIS IT, HARLIN?
MOTHERFUCKER NEVER ANSWERS ME.
Jake: SO, LUPUS,
WHAT DO YOU DO NOW, HUH?
YOU GO BACK TO FETCHIN' COFFEE FOR THE KING?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME,
AND STOP TRYIN' TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD.
OK, I GOT HIM.
HE'S HEADIN' TOWARD THE EAST EXIT.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES APPREHEND.
I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW HIM ALL THE WAY DOWN TO VIG.
ROGER THAT.
Manzano: YEAH, WE GOT THAT, JERKOFF.
LET'S GO.
KEEP YOUR PANTS ON.
HE JUST WENT INTO THE CRAPPER.
Jake: LET'S SAY GORDO DOESN'T MAKE IT
THROUGH CUSTOMS, HUH?
YOU'RE GONNA BE JUST AS FUCKED AS WE ARE.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
NOT FOR NOTHIN', JAKE,
BUT THE GUY WHO WHACKED YOUR BUDDY,
IT WAS ME.
THE KING USUALLY FARMS OUT
FOR THAT KINDA STUFF,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU,
HE WAS SO PISSED OFF AT YOU THAT DAY
THAT HE COULDN'T WAIT FOR THE REGULAR GUY.
THE FUCKER DIDN'T EVEN PUT DOWN
THE KUNG PAO CHICKEN.
[LAUGHTER]
OOH, SHIT.
COME ON, STAND UP.
AHH.
WHAT?
STAND THE FUCK UP!
JAKE, NO OFFENSE,
BUT I'VE SEEN YOU FIGHT.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME.
UGH!
OK, THEY PULLED A SWITCH.
BLACK MAN. BROWN SUIT.
BIG.
HEY, ASSHOLE.
[GRUNTS]
DON'T YOU FUCKIN' MOVE.
KEEP 'EM UP NICE AND HIGH.
[SIRENS]
Manzano: WHAT THE FUCK?
UGH!
[GRUNTS]
DON'T FUCKIN' MOVE!
FREEZE!
Cop: FREEZE! EVERYBODY FREEZE!
THAT'S RIGHT.
FREEZE! PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN!
LOOK, WE'RE LAPD!
GET DOWN! GET DOWN!
I'M A FUCKIN' COP! LAPD!
MAN, WHAT ARE YOU-- LOOK AT THIS!
COME ON, MAN!
[GRUNTS]
DOWN! ON THE CURB!
FACE FORWARD! ALL THE WAY DOWN!
Cop: HANDS ON YOUR HEAD! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!
HANDS OUTSIDE WHERE WE CAN SEE 'EM.
BRING 'EM OUT, NICE AND EASY.
TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND.
CLEAR.
CAN I MAKE A SUGGESTION?
TAKE THESE CUFFS HOME SOMETIME AND USE 'EM ON YOUR WIFE.
YOU'LL LIKE IT.
[GRUNTS]
I LIKE IT TIGHT, BUT NOT THAT TIGHT.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
OOH. OW. LET'S GO.
[GRUNTS]
COME ON.
Cop: LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE.
HEROIN. 2 KEYS.
Second Cop: THEY WERE GOOD.
[LAUGHS]
HE'S GOOD.
HE WHO?
YOU GOTTA LIKE IT!
Rosen: OFFICERS MANZANO AND WHITWORTH,
AGENT ARTIE ROSEN.
[BEEP]
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
Manzano, on tape: HOW HARD DO YOU THINK IT IS TO SELL
ONE DRUG DEALER'S DRUG TO ANOTHER DRUG DEALER?
DON'T FUCKIN' SAY ANYTHING, MAN!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
[RING]
[BEEP]
YEAH?
THE KING JUST GOT PINCHED...
WITH THE BAG.
OK.
[BEEP]
WHAT HAPPENED?
HE GOT CAUGHT.
WHAT?
FUCKING KING JUST GOT US ALL PINCHED.
OH, SHIT!
WHAT I DO? WHAT THE FUCK TO DO?
LUPUS--
OH, YEAH, MOTHERFU--
[GUNSHOT] LUPUS--
Jake: YEAH, YOU KNOW, I NEVER THANKED YOU FOR THAT.
NO PROBLEM.
CAN WE PLEASE ALL STOP BEING SO GODDAMN FUCKING POLITE
AND GET TO THE POINT?
THAT'S RIGHT. WHERE'S THE FUCKIN' MONEY, JAKE?
I DON'T KNOW, LILY, WHAT DO YOU--
WHAT DO YOU GET OUTTA THIS, A FUCKIN' FINDER'S FEE?
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, ISN'T IT?
FUCK YOU.
YOU SOLD ME OUT.
YOU SOLD ME OUT HUGE.
YOU SHOULD'VE TRUSTED ME LIKE I TRUSTED YOU.
YOU FUCKED UP. YOU FUCKED UP HUGE.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! NOW YOU TURN THE FUCK AROUND!
THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA LIVE
IS IF YOU GET ME MY FUCKIN' MONEY!
NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?
I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME
BEFORE YOUR BRAINS HIT THE FUCKIN' GROUND.
WHERE IS MY MONEY?
PROBABLY IN THE HANDS OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
YOU KNOW, JAKE, YOU--
YOU REALLY FUCKIN' DISAPPOINT ME, JAKE.
JUST LET LILY DOWN HERE AGAIN, TOO.
NOW WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYIN' ABOUT
PLAYIN' THE BIG CON?
IT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE PUTTIN' ON A BIG PLAY
AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THEIR PART?
I GUESS SOME PEOPLE FORGOT THEIR FUCKIN' LINES.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
YOU GUESS SO?
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH, JAKE,
AND I'M GONNA COUNT TO 10.
ONE.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. I DO TRUST YOU, LILY.
7.
[GUNSHOTS]
OH, SHIT! WHAT'S A--
Jake, narrating: TRUST.
DID YOU KILL HIM?
Jake: IT SHOULD BE A 4-LETTER WORD.
I DON'T KNOW.
DON'T DO THAT SHIT WHILE I'M STANDIN' RIGHT HERE!
YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!
NOW!
Jake: SO I'M DEAD,
BUT CAN I REALLY BLAME LILY?
SHOULD I JUST HAVE TRUSTED HER?
WHO KNOWS?
BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER,
SOMEONE'S GONNA START ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.
THE FEDS WOULD WANNA KNOW
WHY WERE THEY SENT IN
TO JUST BUST A COUPLE OF CROOKED COPS?
MANZANO AND WHITWORTH WOULD ASK
HOW THE DRUGS GET INTO THAT DUFFEL BAG.
THE KING AND PRICE WOULD ASK
WHERE THEIR MONEY REALLY WENT.
AND EVERYONE WOULD ASK WHAT AGENCY WAS IT
THAT SPECIAL AGENT GUNTHER BUTAN
REALLY WORKED FOR?
YOU NEED A RIDE?
HEY.
[SIGHS]
HOW'D IT GO?
SMOOTH.
Jake, narrating: THE GUYS WE HAVE IN THE LAPD?
SURE, GIVE 'EM 20 BUCKS,
AND THEY'LL LOOK THE OTHER WAY ON A PARKING TICKET.
MAYBE GET YOURSELF A NEW TIE WITH THAT.
Jake, narrating: BUT A FED?
YOU GET A GUY LIKE THAT AS YOUR FIX--
SO WHAT DO YOU GOT GOIN' NEXT?
Jake: SO THAT'S HOW GUNTHER BUTAN AND I BECAME FRIENDS.
[SIGHS] LOOK AT YOU, HUH?
YOU'RE STILL WORKIN' THAT CRAZY TIE ROUTINE.
I'M PARTIAL TO IT.
YOU TAKE YOUR CUT?
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
WELL...WHERE YOU OFF TO NEXT?
WELL, WHEREVER IT IS,
DON'T STAY TOO LONG, YOU KNOW?
STAY LOOSE.
ALWAYS.
I'D KEEP THE GIRL.
Jake: SOONER OR LATER,
ALL THE RIGHT QUESTIONS WOULD GET ANSWERED
BECAUSE PLAYIN' THE BIG CON--
WHAT'S THIS?
IS LIKE PUTTIN' ON A PLAY.
[GUNSHOT]
A PLAY WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS THEIR PART EXCEPT THE MARK.
SOMETIMES, JAKE,
STYLE CAN GET YOU KILLED.
Jake: AND LIKE IN A GAME OF CHESS,
YOU'VE PLAYED EVERY POSSIBLE MOVE IN YOUR HEAD.
YEAH, BOSS, IT'S ME LUPUS.
YOU WERE RIGHT. HE'S TRYIN' TO FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD GRIFTER, MAN.
IT'S HARD TO TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYIN'.
IT'S HARD.
Jake: BUT WHAT DO I CARE? I'M DEAD.
NOBODY'S GONNA BE ASKIN' ME.
I THINK YOU DROPPED THAT, BABY.
MILES...
WOULD YOU BE SO KIND?
ABSOLUTELY.
ALL RIGHT.
Coldplay: * LIGHTS GO OUT, AND I CAN'T BE SAVED *
* TIDES THAT I TRIED TO SWIM AGAINST *
* HAVE BROUGHT ME DOWN UPON MY KNEES *
* OH, I BEG, I BEG AND PLEAD *
* SINGIN'
* COME OUT OF THINGS UNSAID *
* SHOOT AN APPLE OFF MY HEAD *
* AND A TROUBLE THAT CAN'T BE NAMED *
* A TIGER'S WAITIN' TO BE TAMED *
* SINGIN'
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* CONFUSION THAT NEVER STOPS *
* CLOSIN' WALLS AND TICKIN' CLOCKS *
* GONNA COME BACK AND TAKE YOU HOME *
* I COULD NOT STOP, THAT YOU NOW KNOW *
* SINGIN'
* COME OUT UPON MY SEAS
* CURSE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES *
* AM I A PART OF THE CURE
* OR AM I PART OF THE DISEASE? *
* SINGIN'
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* AND NOTHING ELSE COMPARES *
* YOU
* ARE
* YOU
* ARE
* HOME
* HOME WHERE I WANTED TO GO *
* HOME
* HOME WHERE I WANTED TO GO *
* HOME
* YOU
* HOME WHERE I WANTED TO GO *
* ARE
* HOME
* YOU
* HOME WHERE I WANTED TO GO *
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--