DWAYNE, DON'T YANK MY CHAIN.
LOOK, I TOLD YOU, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.
HE'S YOUR COUSIN. HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
YEAH, AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
DWAYNE, DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT TO YOU?
YEAH, YOU SORTA DO.
OH, THAT'S A MISTAKE. YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM ANGRY.
I MADE HIM ANGRY ONCE, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
DWAYNE.
[ HORN HONKS ]
HA HA!
HEY, COP!
KISS MY ASS!
DON'T MOVE.
CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU, SIR?
ALL UNITS, CLEAR THE AIR. WE'RE IN PURSUIT
OF A HIT-AND-RUN. HE'S EASTBOUND ON UNION.
THIS IS MY FIRST CAR CHASE.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
CHASE OVER.
WHAT'D YOU THINK?
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE *
* NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE
* WELL, I DO
* HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE *
* DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? *
* WELL, I DO, AND IT'S AMAZING *
* PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME *
* IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED, TOO *
* YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION, ALL THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH *
* MIGHT JUST KILL YOU
* I COULD BE WRONG NOW
* BUT I DON'T THINK SO
* 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
UH, OKAY,
HOW ABOUT AN AUTOMATIC CARD SHUFFLER?
IT SAYS "FUN FOR ALL AGES."
I KNOW HE ENJOYS HAVING FUN.
MENTIONED THAT ONCE.
ADRIAN, I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE ANXIOUS
ABOUT THIS, BUT THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER
IS THAT BENJY LOVES YOU,
SO WHATEVER YOU GET FOR HIM, BENJY WILL LOVE.
HE DIDN'T LOVE THE PAJAMAS I BOUGHT HIM LAST YEAR.
I SAW IT ON HIS FACE.
THE DISAPPOINTMENT...
I HATE THAT LOOK. I NEVER WANT TO SEE THAT LOOK AGAIN.
ADRIAN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK SHARONA
WHAT HE WOULD LIKE?
SHE SAID TO PICK OUT THE GIFT MYSELF,
SO IT WOULD REALLY COME FROM ME.
OKAY, I'M SORRY, BUT, UH, OUR TIME IS UP.
OKAY, I'LL -- I'LL SEE YOU ON THURSDAY.
NO, NO.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER? I'LL BE IN COSTA RICA.
COSTA RICA? YEAH.
THREE WEEKS. IT'S MY VACATION.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTA RICA.
UH, NO, ADRIAN, YOU'RE NOT COMING.
IT'S A VACATION.
BUT IF -- IF YOU LIKE,
I CAN REFER YOU TO ANOTHER DOCTOR.
OR NOT. OR NOT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
I DID. I TOLD YOU EVERY WEEK FOR THE PAST MONTH,
BUT I GUESS YOU JUST, UM, BLOCKED IT OUT.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
APPARENTLY.
I GUESS I DID. I BLOCKED IT OUT.
NO PROBLEM. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT ON THURSDAY.
CARRIE, COME ON, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE A WORD MY BROTHER SAYS.
I WAS THERE. MY FATHER WAS NOT IN HIS RIGHT MIND
WHEN HE WROTE THAT SECOND WILL,
IF HE WROTE IT AT ALL.
WELL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THE JUDGE WANTS
TO RULE AGAINST US, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO APPEAL.
HMM. "BAY BRIDGE BOOKS"?
I DON'T REMEMBER ORDERING THIS.
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS.
I'LL PROBABLY DIE BEFORE I SEE A DIME.
LISTEN, CARRIE, I GOTTA GO.
I GOTTA UNPACK. I'VE BEEN HERE SIX WEEKS,
AND MY STUFF IS STILL IN BOXES. BYE.
Monk: SIGMUND FREUD NEVER TOOK A VACATION.
WELL, SIGMUND FREUD NEVER MET YOU.
I NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.
HE'LL BE BACK SOON. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, EVERYBODY NEEDS SOME TIME OFF,
EXCEPT, APPARENTLY, ME.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY A DIFFERENT DOCTOR FOR A FEW WEEKS?
NO. IT TAKES ME EIGHT MONTHS TO BREAK IN A NEW THERAPIST.
MOST OF THEM DON'T MAKE IT.
TWO TOOK AN EARLY RETIREMENT.
DID YOU GET A PRESENT FOR BENJY YET?
NO.
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME.
HIS BIRTHDAY'S TOMORROW.
I-I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MAKE IT.
YOU BETTER MAKE IT. YOU PROMISED HIM.
HE REALLY WANTS YOU AT HIS PARTY.
WHY? 'CAUSE HE'S VERY YOUNG.
HIS FATHER BETTER SEND HIM SOMETHING.
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY. LIEUTENANT.
SHARONA. MONK. IS THAT A NEW TIE?
YEAH. IT'S A GIFT FROM MY GIRLFRIEND.
SHE HAS VERY GOOD TASTE. IN TIES, NOT IN MEN.
OOH, DO I DETECT A HINT OF JEALOUSY?
IF YOU DO, IT'S THE ONLY DETECTING YOU'VE EVER DONE.
ADRIAN MONK.
OLD BUDDY, OLD PAL, OLD CHUM.
"OLD BUDDY"? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH THE REAL CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER?
WHAT DO WE HAVE?
A MAIL BOMB. AN OUNCE AND A HALF OF PLASTIQUE
WITH A MAGNESIUM CHARGE.
THERE WERE TWO TRIGGERS. A CHEMICAL DETONATOR WIRED
TO THE WRAPPING, AND A MOTION DETECTOR.
SO WHEN YOU OPENED IT AND MOVED IT -- BOOM.
NOT HARD TO MAKE. CRUDE AND UNPREDICTABLE, ACTUALLY.
WHO'S THE VICTIM?
AMANDA BABBAGE. 35 YEARS OLD.
SHE LIVED HERE ALONE.
NICE HOUSE.
IT WAS A LOT NICER TWO HOURS AGO.
THE FEDS ARE HERE?
YES. UP THE WAZOO.
BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS.
THEY'RE IN CHARGE,
AND THEY'RE NOT SHY ABOUT SAYING SO.
MONK, IF YOU CAN MAKE ME LOOK GOOD HERE,
I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
I'D LOVE TO SHOW THESE BASTARDS UP.
IT WOULDN'T HURT OUR CAREERS, EITHER.
[ PEOPLE TALKING ]
EXCUSE ME!
EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!
CAN YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN?
WE'RE TRYING TO THINK.
GO IN THE OTHER ROOM.
[ CAT MEOWS ]
WHO THE HELL IS THAT -- MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN?
IT'S ADRIAN MONK. HE'S CONSULTING WITH US.
WELL, HE'S NOT CONSULTING WITH US.
AGENT GROOMS, YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP
US LOCAL BUMPKINS IN THE LOOP.
GIVE MY MAN A COUPLE OF MINUTES, OKAY?
Stottlemeyer: WHAT IS IT?
THE KNOT. I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE TIED QUITE LIKE THAT.
HAVE YOU?
NO, I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE.
"STREET"?
YEP, THAT'S PART OF THE ADDRESS.
WELL, BUT THIS IS McCALLISTER AVENUE,
NOT STREET.
PART OF THE RETURN ADDRESS.
THE RETURN ADDRESS IS HERE.
THE BOMB WAS ADDRESSED INCORRECTLY.
"PLEASE FORWARD."
IT'S A CHANGE OF ADDRESS LABEL.
DID SHE JUST MOVE IN?
THAT'S RIGHT. SHE BOUGHT THE HOUSE TWO MONTHS AGO.
THANKS.
GLAD WE COULD HELP.
WE WOULD'VE FOUND IT.
MAYBE.
HERE'S OUR BOY -- AMANDA'S KID BROTHER RICKY.
THE ESTATE'S BEEN IN PROBATE SINCE THE OLD MAN DIED.
AMANDA AND HER TWO BROTHERS HAVE BEEN FIGHTING
OVER THE ESTATE EVER SINCE.
TOO MUCH MONEY AND TOO MANY LAWYERS.
DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM?
NAH, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN. I THINK WE CAN HANDLE IT.
OKAY, I'LL JUST WATCH AND TAKE NOTES.
I'M SO KEEN TO LEARN.
THAT'S MY SISTER'S HOUSE, ALL RIGHT?
WHAT'S YOUR BADGE NUMBER, HUH? THAT'S MY SISTER IN THERE.
I'M FAMILY, EH? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
RICHARD BABBAGE?
ARE YOU IN CHARGE? THANK GOD,
BECAUSE THIS STORM TROOPER
WOULDN'T LET ME THROUGH.
I'M AGENT GROOMS. I'M WITH THE ATF.
RICKY, I KNOW THIS IS A BAD TIME FOR YOU.
I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR SISTER?
I DON'T KNOW. THERE WAS A BARBECUE HERE
ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO. WE HAD A FIGHT.
I SAID SOME THINGS...
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.
EXCUSE ME. IS THIS YOUR SURFBOARD?
YES.
DID YOU PUT IT UP HERE?
YES. I DIDN'T WANT IT TO TEAR UP THE BACK SEAT,
SO I TIED IT UP THERE.
WHO IS HE?
NOBODY. CAPTAIN.
I NEED TO ASK RICKY A FEW QUESTIONS.
WHY DON'T YOU STAY HERE WITH MARIAN AND, UH,
GUARD THE CAR?
OKEY-DOKEY.
WHO'S MARIAN?
YOU ARE. MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN.
SOUNDS LIKE A PUTDOWN.
YEP. IT'S A DEROGATORY REMARK, MONK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
OH, HE'S NOT THE GUY.
HE DEFINITELY KNEW HIS SISTER LIVED HERE.
HE WAS AT A BARBECUE HERE TWO WEEKS AGO.
BUT THE PACKAGE WAS MAILED TO THE OLD ADDRESS.
RIGHT. AND HE SAID HE TIED THE SURFBOARD
TO THE ROOF HIMSELF.
LOOK AT THESE KNOTS.
THEY'RE A MESS -- CRUDE AND TANGLED.
BUT THE KNOT WE SAW INSIDE ON THE BOMB
WAS A WORK OF ART.
SO THE FEDS... ARE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE.
YOU SAID THERE WAS ANOTHER BROTHER.
YEAH, BRIAN, BUT HE'S A DEAD END.
OR PRACTICALLY DEAD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THE GUY'S IN A COMA.
WE SAW IT HAPPEN. FOUR MONTHS AGO,
HE GOT T-BONED BY A PICKUP TRUCK,
CRACKED HIS SKULL. IT WAS REALLY UNNECESSARY.
THE GUY JUST BAITED ME AND RANDY AND --
AND STEPPED ON THE GAS.
IT WAS MY FIRST CAR CHASE. THAT DIDN'T COUNT.
THE GUY DIDN'T GO HALF A BLOCK. YOU DIDN'T GET THE CAR IN GEAR.
IT COUNTED.
IT WASN'T A CHASE, RANDY.
WE RAN TO THE CAR.
ANYWAY, UH, FOUR MONTHS AGO.
SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN THAT HIS SISTER HAD MOVED.
IT COUNTED.
I'D LIKE TO MEET HIM.
THEY SAY THAT PEOPLE IN A COMA
CAN HEAR EVERYTHING.
WHY WERE YOU CHASING HIM?
BECAUSE HE WAS RUNNING.
IF HE EVER WAKES UP, WE'LL BE SURE TO ASK HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M JUST MAKING SURE.
OH. MY PEN.
WAIT, I THINK I FEEL IT.
OH, MY GOD, IT'S LEAKING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THERE.
I-I, UH, I DROPPED --
I DROPPED SOMETHING. I GOT IT.
I'M MR. BABBAGE'S PRIVATE NURSE. ARE YOU PEOPLE FAMILY?
EVEN FOR FAMILY, THERE'S NO EXCUSE.
SAN FRANCISCO HOMICIDE, MA'AM. WE'RE HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
IS THAT ABOUT THE SISTER? I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO.
NURSE -- NURSE STEMPEL.
IS THERE ANY WAY MR. BABBAGE COULD HAVE LEFT THIS ROOM?
NOT UNLESS HE WAS CARRIED OUT. THIS IS A STAGE 9 COMA.
HIS COGNITIVE RESPONSE IS NEAR ZERO.
HAS HE HAD A LOT OF VISITORS?
JUST ONE. HIS BROTHER RICKY CAME BY TO SERVE HIM
WITH A SUBPOENA. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
THEY'RE LIKE THE ADDAMS FAMILY.
AND ARE THOSE THE PATIENT'S SHOES?
YOU DIDN'T UNTIE THEM?
THEY WERE YANKED OFF IN THE E.R.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? I NEED TO CHANGE THE SHEETS.
NO, MA'AM, WE'LL BE LEAVING.
WELL, YOU'LL ALL BE LEAVING.
YES. YES, THANK YOU, MA'AM.
THANK YOU.
PRIVATE NURSE, PRIVATE ROOM.
THIS GUY KNOWS HOW TO TAKE A NAP.
HE'S THE GUY.
WHO'S THE GUY?
HIM?
MONK, HE'S A VEGETABLE. HE'S NOT EVEN A VEGETABLE.
HE HOPES ONE DAY TO BE A VEGETABLE.
CAPTAIN, LISTEN.
HIS SISTER MOVED TWO MONTHS AGO.
HE IS THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD
WITH A MOTIVE WHO WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN THAT.
ALSO, LOOK...
LOOK AT THE KNOT. IT'S ELEGANT.
IN MY LIFE, I'VE ONLY SEEN ONE OTHER KNOT LIKE THAT.
LIKE THE BOMB.
HE'S THE GUY.
YEAH, BUT, MONK, HE'S BEEN ASLEEP SINCE MAY.
I KNOW.
THE BOMB WAS MAILED THREE DAYS AGO. THERE'S A POSTMARK.
I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT.
BUT HE DID IT.
I'VE HEARD ABOUT SIBLING RIVALRY, RICKY,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I MEAN, YOU SPEND MORE TIME IN COURT THAN ME.
MY FATHER CHANGED HIS WILL EVERY THREE WEEKS.
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO GETS WHAT.
IT'S FAMILY. IT'S COMPLICATED.
THAT'S A NICE CIGAR.
THEY'RE COHIBA ROBUSTOS. YOU WANT ONE?
I GOT A FRIEND DOWN IN KEY WEST.
HE SENDS ME A BOX EVERY MONTH.
NO THANK YOU.
YOU'VE NEVER WORKED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE, HAVE YOU, RICKY?
I TRIED WORKING ONCE.
I HATED IT. HA HA HA HA!
LOOK, I CAN'T HELP IF I'M LUCKY.
I THINK YOUR LUCK'S RUN OUT, RICK.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
YOU JUST COULDN'T SETTLE FOR YOUR THIRD OF THE PIE,
COULD YOU? YOU HAD TO HAVE IT ALL.
HEY, I WAS READY TO SETTLE. YOU ASK MY LAWYER.
MY BROTHER BRIAN WAS THE ONE WHO WASN'T HAPPY.
OH, THAT'S CLASSY -- BLAMING YOUR BROTHER
WHO'S IN A COMA.
HEY, RICKY.
I GOT A SISTER. WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME.
THERE'S TIMES WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'D LIKE TO KILL HER.
YOU EVER FELT LIKE THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE NEVER MET YOUR SISTER.
HA HA HA HA!
CAPTAIN, WHY DON'T YOU GO GRAB SOME COFFEE?
I WANT TO TALK TO RICKY ALONE.
I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF MY OWN INTERROGATION ROOM.
YOU WANT SOME COFFEE, SIR?
NO, RANDY, WHAT I WANT IS FOR THAT ATF CREEP
TO EAT CROW.
WELL, WE KNOW WHO DID IT, AND WE KNOW WHY.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
MONK, AGAIN, HE'S IN A COMA.
HE IS THE GUY.
IN 20 SECONDS, AGENT GROOMS IS GOING TO COME WALKING
THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND HE'S GOING TO ASK ME WHAT I THINK.
GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA. MAYBE HE HAD AN ACCOMPLICE.
YES, SOMEBODY ELSE MAILED THE DAMN THING. WHY NOT?
I ALREADY HAD THAT IDEA. TELL HIM.
THERE WAS NO ACCOMPLICE. WHY WOULD BRIAN BABBAGE HIRE ONE?
HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO BE IN A COMA.
IT'S NOT EXACTLY SOMETHING YOU CAN PLAN.
ANYWAY, WHY WOULD AN ACCOMPLICE BOTHER TO GO THROUGH WITH IT?
THERE WAS NO REASON TO.
THE GUY WHO HIRED HIM WAS IN A COMA.
ALL RIGHT, SO BRIAN BUILT THE BOMB,
AND THEN BRIAN MAILED THE BOMB BY HIMSELF.
Monk: THAT'S RIGHT.
WHILE HE WAS IN A COMA.
YOU GOT TO ADMIT, IT'S A PRETTY GOOD ALIBI.
IT'S ROCK-SOLID.
MONK, I HAVE KNOWN 15,000 CRIMINALS IN MY LIFETIME.
HERE'S WHAT THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON --
THEY'RE CONSCIOUS!
NONETHELESS.
IS YOUR SHRINK COMING BACK SOON?
CAPTAIN.
SORRY ABOUT IN THERE.
I, UH, WORK BETTER ONE-ON-ONE.
SO, HOW'S IT LOOK?
HE'S BENDING BUT NOT BREAKING.
I'LL GET HIM.
ABOUT TO WRITE UP MY CASE REPORT.
I'M GOING TO LIST HIM AS MY PRIMARY.
I'LL NEED YOU TO SIGN OFF ON THAT.
RIGHT? IT'LL BE EASIER TO GET AN INDICTMENT
IF WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE.
I'M THINKING...
MAYBE IT'S THE OTHER BROTHER.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE OTHER BROTHER,
AND HE'S IN A COMA.
THAT'S THE ONE.
I THINK, UH, I THINK WE SHOULD LOOK INTO HIM.
HE'S A VEGETABLE, CAPTAIN.
I KNOW.
DON'T YOU THINK THAT ELIMINATES HIM AS A SUSPECT?
I MEAN, I'M JUST CURIOUS --
HOW DO YOU THINK HE DID IT?
WE'RE STILL WORKING ON THAT.
YEAH...
WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, CAPTAIN.
KEEP ME INFORMED.
Sharona: BENJY! BENJY!
BENJY, WHERE'S ADRIAN?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHOA. WHOA, WHOA. WATCH IT.
HEY -- HEY, YOU GUYS, NOT IN THE KITCHEN.
YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT OUT THERE?
ARE THEY GONE?
NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
PLAYING A GAME.
WHAT GAME?
IT'S CALLED -- IT'S CALLED "ARE THEY GONE?"
ARE THEY GONE?
NO.
THEN THE GAME IS NOT OVER.
IT'S A JIGSAW PUZZLE.
Benjy: WELL, IS HE RIGHT?
HOW MANY PIECES?
700.
DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
WHOA! HOW DID HE DO THAT? YEAH!
NOW, BENJY, MR. MONK ISN'T A TOY.
SURE HE IS.
OKAY, NEXT. I KNOW WHAT THIS ONE IS,
BECAUSE IT'S FROM ME.
IT'S A ROCK-POLISHING KIT.
TO CLEAN ROCKS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THANK YOU.
I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS 12.
IT WAS SO MUCH, YOU KNOW, FUN.
HEY! LET'S USE IT NOW.
I SAW SOME GREAT ROCKS OUT BACK.
LET'S GO GET 'EM.
MAYBE LATER, MR. MONK.
THERE'S THAT LOOK.
OH. IT'S OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
TREVOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY CALENDAR SAYS AUGUST 14th.
MOM, WHO IS IT?
YOUR FATHER.
Monk: HIS NAME IS TREVOR.
TREVOR HOWE.
HE JUST SHOWS UP AFTER SIX YEARS
OUT OF THE BLUE
AT THE KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
BENJY LOVES HIM, OF COURSE.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME TALK LIKE THIS.
MY REGULAR DOCTOR'S OUT OF TOWN.
I'M GLAD YOU COULD SQUEEZE ME IN.
ANYWAY, ABOUT THIS TREVOR GUY --
SHARONA'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM.
I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. HE TREATED HER SO BADLY.
HE WAS NEVER FAITHFUL. HE DRANK, HE GAMBLED.
I GUESS I NEVER APPRECIATED HOW LONELY SHARONA'S BEEN.
SHE WANTS TO FORGIVE HIM.
SHE WANTS TO BELIEVE IN HIM.
AM I JEALOUS?
IS THAT IT, DO YOU THINK?
OR MAYBE -- MAYBE I'M AFRAID
HE'S GOING TO TAKE HER AWAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OR...
MAYBE I'M JUST FEELING BAD
ABOUT BENJY'S BIRTHDAY.
AH, HE HATED MY GIFT. I COULD TELL.
A ROCK POLISHER.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
WHY COULDN'T I JUST BUY HIM A REGULAR TOY?
I'M SO TIRED OF BEING DIFFERENT.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
I'M EXHAUSTED. I --
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT BEING EXHAUSTED.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.
SLEEPING.
SLEEPING THROUGH IT ALL.
NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.
TAKE MY ADVICE.
SAVOR THESE MOMENTS.
Sharona: WOW, THIS IS A NICE HOUSE.
BRIAN DID PRETTY WELL.
SO HOW ARE THINGS WITH TREVOR?
GREAT. HE'S REALLY TURNED HIS LIFE AROUND.
YOU THINK SO?
WHAT, YOU DON'T TRUST HIM?
YOU DON'T TRUST ANYBODY.
THAT'S TRUE. ALTHOUGH I'M HARDLY EVER WRONG.
I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S A DIFFERENT MAN.
HE'S NOT DRINKING. HE'S GOT A JOB.
I MEAN, PEOPLE CHANGE.
NOT YOU, BUT OTHER PEOPLE.
GOOD. I'M GLAD.
CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY FOR ME?
I AM. I'M GLAD.
THIS IS ME BEING GLAD.
I WAS JUST TELLING BRIAN HOW HAPPY BENJY SEEMS.
BRIAN WHO?
BRIAN...BABBAGE.
THE COMA GUY?
HE WOKE UP?
NAH. NO.
BUT YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM.
HE'S A GOOD LISTENER.
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
OH, HI, I'M SHARONA FLEMING, AND THIS IS ADRIAN MONK.
WE'RE HELPING THE POLICE INVESTIGATE --
HE DIDN'T WAKE UP, DID HE?
NO.
THANK GOD.
COME ON IN.
DO YOU MIND IF WE LOOK AROUND?
GO RIGHT AHEAD. I'M JUST THE MAID.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WEIRD STUFF?
HE WAS LOOKING FOR A LAWYER.
THAT'S NO SURPRISE.
HE WAS SUING HIS WHOLE FAMILY.
NO, NO, NO. THESE ARE CRIMINAL LAWYERS.
LOOK AT THE NAME HE CIRCLED --
SCOTT BUTTERWORTH.
I KNOW THAT NAME.
SUSPENDED TWICE. HE WAS A HACK.
BRIAN BABBAGE COULD AFFORD ANY ATTORNEY IN TOWN.
WHY WOULD -- WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO HIRE A BAD LAWYER?
IS THAT BLOOD?
NO. I THINK IT'S JUST KETCHUP.
UGH.
[ GROANS ]
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY.
EXCUSE ME, WE NOTICED THE KETCHUP BOTTLES...
IN THE CLOSET?
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
WE WERE AFRAID TO ASK. MR. BABBAGE HATES QUESTIONS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I ALWAYS OPEN THE MAIL.
OKAY, THEY PIECED TOGETHER ENOUGH OF THE PACKAGE TO GET A POSTMARK.
IT WAS MAILED FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS TWO DAYS AGO.
DIFFERENT POST OFFICE, SAME TYPE OF EXPLOSIVE.
WELL, DON'T USE THAT BATHROOM! IT'S A MESS!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT!
WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!
RESIDUAL AUDITORY TRAUMA FROM THE BLAST.
IT'LL CLEAR UP IN A FEW HOURS.
MONK, MONK, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO MIGHT'VE DONE THIS?
BRIAN BABBAGE!
NO, THE BOMB WAS MAILED TO BRIAN BABBAGE.
SOMEBODY JUST TRIED TO KILL HIM.
HE SENT THE BOMB TO HIMSELF,
SO NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT HIM!
DID YOU SEE THE KETCHUP BOTTLES?!
YEAH, I DID.
PRETTY WEIRD, HUH?!
CAPTAIN, ATF -- 3:00.
MONK, GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE.
ANYTHING -- ANY THEORY BESIDES THE COMA GUY.
IF YOU WERE TO TELL ME THAT HOWDY DOODY WAS BEHIND THIS,
IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE.
HOWDY DOODY?!
WHY WOULD HOWDY DOODY BE SENDING PEOPLE MAIL BOMBS?!
WASN'T HE A PUPPET?!
HE WAS JUST USING THAT AS AN EXAMPLE!
OR MAYBE HE WAS JUST USING THAT AS AN EXAMPLE!
CAPTAIN.
THE D.A. WON'T HOLD RICKY BABBAGE.
I WAS HOPING THIS MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND.
[ SIGHS ]
OH, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
YOU STILL THINK RIP VAN WINKLE'S BEHIND THIS?
WE BELIEVE BRIAN BABBAGE IS INVOLVED, YES.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
AND BY "WE," YOU MEAN YOU AND YOUR CONSULTANT.
YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE HOWDY DOODY WAS A PUPPET!
HOW WAS YOUR CAREER, CAPTAIN?
DID YOU ENJOY IT?
SO DO YOU REMEMBER ME AT ALL?
I REMEMBER GOING CAMPING.
HA HA HA. THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH. YOU WERE, UH, YOU WERE 4 YEARS OLD.
WE WENT TO, UH, WISCONSIN DELLS.
AND YOU FELL OFF THE ROCK. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
YOU ALMOST SCARED US HALF TO DEATH. HUH?
I BET YOU STILL GOT THE SCAR. DO YOU?
WHERE IS IT? THERE IT IS. WOW.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, WEAR IT WITH PRIDE, KID.
IT WAS A HELL OF A FALL. I CARRIED YOU 2 MILES.
MOM SAID SHE CARRIED ME.
YEAH, WELL, WE TOOK TURNS.
HEY, DID YOU GET THE CAMERA I SENT YOU?
YEAH.
UM, MOM SAYS YOU NEVER SEND ANY CHECKS.
YEAH, WELL -- WELL, BENJY, THE IMPORTANT THING IS
I'M HERE NOW, RIGHT?
HEY, DID YOUR MOM TELL YOU I GOT A JOB
MANAGING A RESTAURANT? YOU LIKE HAMBURGERS?
YEAH.
OH, GOOD. I CAN GET YOU ALL THE FREE HAMBURGERS YOU WANT.
OH, WHICH REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING.
SOMEONE HAS GOT SOME BACK ALLOWANCE COMING.
$100?
HA HA HA HA!
THANKS.
HEY, BENJ, LISTEN,
I SCREWED UP.
BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
OKAY?
OKAY, DAD.
ALL RIGHT. OH, I FORGOT.
WHICH -- WHICH ONE AM I? RED.
I'M THE RED ONE.
OH! OH! OH!
HA HA HA HA! YOU GOT ME.
IT'S OKAY. YOU GET THREE LIVES.
OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
WELL, KEEP PLAYING, ALL RIGHT?
I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOUR MOM.
YA HEAR THAT?
I GET THREE LIVES.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED 'EM. YOU ALREADY USED UP TWO.
YOU WANT A BEER?
UH...ARE YOU TEMPTING ME?
A.A.
MY 60-DAY CHIP.
TWO MONTHS.
IT'S A START.
SHARONA, IF I HAD THREE LIVES,
I'D SPEND ONE OF THEM APOLOGIZING TO YOU.
AND BENJY.
AND BENJY. AND BENJY.
LISTEN, YOU KNOW, MONDAY, I START THE NEW RESTAURANT GIG.
AND I WAS THINKING
HOW NICE IT WOULD BE IF I CAME HOME EVERY DAY
AND FOUND YOU AND BENJY THERE.
IN NEW JERSEY?
WELL, IT'S THE GARDEN STATE.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, DON'T SAY NO, DON'T SAY NO.
JUST -- JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
WELL, I MEAN, I -- WHAT ABOUT MY JOB?
I-I JUST CAN'T LEAVE ADRIAN.
HE'S AN ADULT.
ONLY SOMEBODY WHO DIDN'T KNOW HIM
WOULD CALL HIM THAT.
TRUST ME. I'M TELLING YOU.
Monk: SHE SAYS SHE'S THINKING ABOUT IT,
BUT I CAN TELL SHE'S GOING TO GO.
WHY SHOULD SHE BE DIFFERENT? EVERYBODY LEAVES ME.
TRUDY. DR. KROGER.
AND NOW SHARONA.
IT'S LIKE THE NATIONAL PASTIME.
COMMENTS?
ANY QUESTIONS?
IS THIS YOUR WATCH?
YOU'RE TWO MINUTES FAST.
JUST RELAX. I'LL FIX IT.
WHAT'S THAT?
IS THAT GLUE?
WHAT WERE YOU GLUING?
[ CRASH ]
AAH! AAH!
UH, EXCUSE ME.
HELLO?
UH, SORRY.
[ VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING ]
[ MONITOR FLATLINING ]
OKAY.
OKAY, BRIAN.
COME ON, BRIAN. COME ON.
COME ON, COME BACK, COME BACK --
AH...
COME ON, YOU CAN -- BRIAN, COME ON.
COME ON, YOU AND ME.
YOU AND ME. YOU AND ME, ALL THE WAY.
COME ON, ALMOST.
ALMOST! ALMOST!
THAT'S GOT IT! THAT'S GOT IT.
YEAH! AH...
HE'S...
HE'S GOOD.
I MEAN, HE'S GREAT.
I MEAN, HE'S... HE'S FINE NOW.
ADRIAN, I'M GOING TO VISIT YOU ALL THE TIME.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING?
FRIDAY.
FRIDAY? THIS FRIDAY?
JUST LIKE THAT, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING ME IN THE LURCH.
YOU'RE NOT IN THE LURCH.
I'M IN THE LURCH. THIS IS THE LURCH.
I CAN FEEL IT.
MY SISTER'S GOING TO LOOK IN ON YOU.
HEY, THIS IS THE BEST WAY. IF I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU
THREE WEEKS' NOTICE, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
THAT YOU WOULD HAVE GONE CRAZY.
YOU KNOW IT.
OH, GOD, ADRIAN...
I AM SORRY.
LOOK, THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME. THIS IS ABOUT BENJY.
HE NEEDS HIS FATHER.
IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, I'LL COME BACK.
WHAT IF IT DOES WORK OUT? WHAT IF YOU'RE HAPPY?
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU EVER THINK THAT
SOMEDAY I MIGHT LEAVE?
NO.
I WAS AFRAID TO.
Ricky: MR. MONK.
SHARONA... SORRY I'M LATE.
I STOPPED OFF TO VISIT A LADY FRIEND.
AND THEN I STOPPED OFF TO VISIT HER SISTER.
LOOK, MY LAWYER SAID THAT YOU GUYS WERE VERY HELPFUL,
AND IT'S GREATLY APPRECIATED.
WHAT HAPPENED AT THE HOSPITAL?
I HEARD YOU PULLED THE PLUG ON MY BROTHER.
I'M SORRY. THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
DON'T APOLOGIZE.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH HIS DOCTOR.
TURNS OUT YOU DID THE BASTARD A FAVOR.
IT JUMP-STARTED HIS NEUTRONS OR SOMETHING.
ANYWAY, HE'S BREATHING ON HIS OWN
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, ALL THANKS TO YOU.
WELL, GOOD. I'M GLAD TO HAVE HELPED.
BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE. MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
JEEZ, LOOK AT ALL THIS MAIL.
Sharona: UH, DON'T OPEN ANY PACKAGES.
YEAH, THANKS. I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
BILLS...
MAIL...
DON'T BOTHER. IT WON'T STICK.
IT PEELS OFF EVERY FOUR WEEKS.
OH, MY GOD.
SHARONA, I GOT IT!
WHAT?
THE MAIL BOMBS! I KNOW HOW HE DID IT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
RELAX.
THEY'RE MY CIGARS FROM MY GUY IN KEY WEST.
NOBODY KNOWS I GET THESE.
DOES YOUR BROTHER KNOW?
YEAH, BRIAN KNOWS I GET THESE.
IT'S A BOMB! DON'T OPEN IT.
AAH!
OH, MY GOD.
DO NOT...MOVE.
Monk: IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
JUST DON'T MOVE. IT IS NOW MOTION SENSITIVE.
DON'T MOVE. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
STOP SAYING "OKAY," AND DO SOMETHING.
OKAY.
OKAY, OKAY, I'M TALKING TO THE BOMB SQUAD,
AND THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.
THERE ARE NO WIRE CUTTERS IN THIS CABINET.
THEY'RE RIGHT THERE IN THE TIN BUCKET!
LOOK, WILL YOU HURRY UP?
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I CAN STAND LIKE THIS.
SHH...SHH.
OKAY, HE WANTS TO KNOW HOW MANY WIRES YOU SEE.
FOUR WIRES.
YOU STILL WANT TO QUIT? Ricky: FOUR WIRES.
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THIS MUCH FUN IN NEW JERSEY.
HE SAYS CUT THE WIRE
LEADING FROM THE DETONATOR TO THE BATTERY.
THERE ARE TWO -- A BLUE AND A RED.
WHAT IS THAT? LIGHT TURNED GREEN.
LIGHT TURNED GREEN. HE SAYS YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS.
CUT ONE OF THE WIRES. WHICH ONE?
EITHER ONE. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
OKAY. BLUE -- NO, NO, RED, NO, RED.
NO, BLUE. CUT ONE! CUT THE BLUE ONE!
FIVE SECONDS!
WHY BLUE? THEN CUT THE RED ONE!
YOU SAID BLUE! THREE SECONDS.
ADRIAN, CUT ONE! I'LL CUT 'EM BOTH!
Disher: YOU OKAY?
YEAH, IT WAS JUST YOUR BASIC MAIL BOMB.
NO BIG DEAL.
SO I HEARD YOU'RE LEAVING. NEW JERSEY.
YOU GONNA MISS ME?
NOPE. MAYBE A LITTLE.
HMM. DO ME A FAVOR AND CALL ME SOMETIME
TO REMIND ME WHY I LEFT.
I'LL DO THAT.
CAN EVERYONE SEE?
YEAH, WE CAN SEE. IT'S JUST A MAILBOX.
WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE?
WELL, FIRST OFF, I'D LIKE TO THANK
UNITED STATES POSTAL WORKER TAMIL SWARMA
FOR HELPING US OUT HERE TODAY.
WE'RE GLAD TO HELP OUR BROTHERS
AND SISTER IN THE LAW ENFORCEMENT COMMUNITY.
WE JUST WEAR A DIFFERENT SHADE OF BLUE, THAT'S ALL.
YEAH. YEAH.
BRIAN BABBAGE WANTED TO KILL HIS BROTHER AND SISTER.
HE FOUND A WAY TO MAIL A BOMB IN MAY,
BUT NOT HAVE IT BE DELIVERED UNTIL AUGUST.
IT WAS QUITE BRILLIANT, REALLY.
YES, IT WAS. ALTHOUGH BY DOING SO,
HE VIOLATED TWO FEDERAL LAWS
AND A SCORE OF POSTAL REGULATIONS.
GO ON.
WHEN I RECENTLY SAW SOME WALLPAPER
PEELING OFF A WALL,
IT REMINDED ME OF THE KETCHUP BOTTLES
IN BRIAN BABBAGE'S CLOSET.
THEY WERE GLUED TO THE CEILING.
THE GLUE WAS THE KEY.
THERE WAS NO GLUE IN THE BOMB.
IT WASN'T PART OF THE BOMB.
IT WAS PART OF THE DELIVERY MECHANISM.
EXACTLY.
Monk: IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT -- A STRESS TEST.
THE KETCHUP BOTTLES WEIGHED ABOUT THE SAME
AS THE MAIL BOMBS.
HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT
HOW LONG THEY WOULD STICK BEFORE THEY FELL OFF.
I DON'T GET IT.
TAMIL.
FOUR MONTHS AGO,
BRIAN BABBAGE WENT AROUND THE CITY
LATE AT NIGHT AND CRACKED OPEN THE PANEL
ON A COUPLE OF THESE MAILBOXES.
THESE LOCKS ARE PRETTY SIMPLE TO PICK.
I'VE TALKED TO MY SUPERVISORS, BUT THEY DON'T LISTEN.
TAMIL -- "DON'T MAKE WAVES."
EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO HIT THEIR 20 AND GET OUT.
I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.
BRIAN PUT THE BOMBS IN THE MAILBOXES.
BUT HE DIDN'T PUT THEM ON THE BOTTOM
WITH THE REST OF THE MAIL.
HE GLUED THEM TO THE TOP.
HERE. YOU SEE, IT'S A BLIND SPOT.
NOBODY EVER LOOKS UP THERE. WHY WOULD THEY?
FOUR MONTHS LATER,
THE GLUE DRIES UP, THE BOMB FALLS DOWN,
AND THE NEXT DAY THE MAILMAN PICKS IT UP
WITH THE REST OF THE MAIL.
IT WAS LIKE A TIME-RELEASED MAIL BOMB.
THE U.S. POST OFFICE UNWITTINGLY BECAME
THE MESSENGER OF EVIL.
WHO'D-A THUNK IT?
WELL PUT, TAMIL.
AND BY THE TIME THEY WERE DELIVERED,
BRIAN HAD A PERFECT ALIBI.
HE PUT HIMSELF IN A COMA? THAT'S HIS ALIBI?
THAT'S THE STUPIDEST PLAN I EVER HEARD OF.
HE CAME THIS CLOSE TO KILLING HIMSELF.
I WAS STUMPED, TOO, BUT THEN I REALIZED
THAT WASN'T HIS PLAN AT ALL.
NO ONE WOULD PLAN TO BE IN A COMA.
HIS IDEA WAS TO GET HIMSELF ARRESTED
SO HE WOULD BE IN JAIL WHEN THE BOMBS WERE DELIVERED.
THAT'S WHY HE TRIED TO LEAD US ON A CAR CHASE.
HE FIGURED HE'D BE IN JAIL FOR SEVEN OR EIGHT MONTHS.
HE EVEN PICKED OUT A TERRIBLE LAWYER
TO MAKE SURE THAT HE WOULDN'T GET OFF.
BUT HE SCREWED UP, AND HE HIT A TRUCK.
AND THEN A CAR, THEN ANOTHER CAR.
BRIAN BABBAGE STUMBLED, LITERALLY, BY ACCIDENT,
INTO THE BEST ALIBI IN THE HISTORY OF CRIME.
WHERE'S YOUR PROOF?
BRIAN BABBAGE WOKE UP THIS MORNING.
I HAVE ARRANGED FOR ALL OF US TO PAY HIM A LITTLE VISIT.
THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
NOT YOU.
MR. BABBAGE.
MARIA.
YOU'RE AWAKE. IT'S A MIRACLE.
I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.
SORRY ABOUT YOUR SISTER AND YOUR BROTHER.
THANK YOU, MARIA.
THE DOCTORS JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THEM. I CAN'T --
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I WON'T STAY LONG.
I JUST WANTED TO WELCOME YOU BACK,
AND I BROUGHT YOUR MAIL.
WHAT -- WHAT'S THAT?
UH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY --
IT'S A BOMB. IT'S A BOMB!
GET DOWN!
I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT MADE YOU THINK
THAT WAS A BOMB, MR. BABBAGE.
BRIAN BABBAGE, GOOD MORNING. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR THE MURDER OF YOUR SISTER AMANDA.
SHARONA, BENJY, THE TAXI'S HERE.
AHH.
COME ON, GUYS, WE'RE GONNA MISS THE PLANE.
SHARONA, WHATEVER IT IS, LEAVE IT.
THE MOVERS WILL GET IT TOMORROW.
WHERE'S BENJY?
HE'S AT MY SISTER'S.
WHAT? WE GOT TO GET GOING.
WE'RE NOT GOING.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I FOUND THE PLANE TICKETS LAST NIGHT.
DETROIT?!
SHARONA, NO -- SHARONA, LISTEN --
CHRIST, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
I JUST THOUGHT WE COULD STOP --
I JUST THOUGHT WE COULD STOP ON THE WAY HOME
AND SEE MY UNCLE JACK, THAT'S ALL.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE UNCLE JACK.
YOU WANT YOUR UNCLE JACK TO SEE ME AND BENJY.
HE CUT YOU OFF AFTER WE SPLIT UP,
AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET BACK INTO HIS POCKET.
LOOK, THE TAXI'S OUTSIDE, THE METER'S RUNNING.
LET'S JUST -- WE'LL TALK ON THE WAY, OKAY?
SHARONA, HONEY,
THE MONEY IS FOR BO--
IT'S FOR ALL OF US.
I MEAN, HE'S RICHER THAN GOD.
WHY NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT?
THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOOD AT, TREVOR --
TAKING ADVANTAGE.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL BENJY AND TELL HIM
THAT THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU GOT BACK INTO HIS LIFE
WAS SO THAT YOUR RICH UNCLE DOESN'T CUT YOU OFF?
DIDN'T THINK SO.
WHAT ABOUT BENJY? HE NEEDS A FATHER.
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE, HE DOES.
SO WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE READY TO BE ONE?
HEY --
UH, THERE IT IS -- THE HOUSE ON THE LEFT THERE.
KEEP -- KEEP GOING.
J-JUST GO.
WHERE TO?
IT DOESN'T MATTER. JUST GO. GO. GO.
HEY.
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE HERE. HOW YOU DOING?
I'M GOOD. I'M GREAT.
I'M LIVING A DREAM.
[ SIGHS ]
WHERE'S TREVOR?
HE WENT HOME.
I'M SORRY.
I MISSED YOU.
I MISSED YOU, TOO.
GOD, I REALLY DID.
MAYBE I SHOULD SEE A SHRINK, TOO.
WELL, STICK AROUND.
DR. KROGER WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.