HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
HA! LEFT-HANDED!
YEAH, NICE SHOT.
HEY, SKIP MRS. NELSON'S HOUSE. SHE'S ON VACATION.
WHEN DO WE GET A VACATION?
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? HUH? ACAPULCO?
I DON'T CARE.
JUST ANYWHERE WITHOUT THESE PAPERS.
YOU KNOW, THAT'D BE NICE.
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THAT'S MR. MONK'S HOUSE. YOU CAN'T THROW IT.
NO, NOT THAT ONE. THE PAPER'S WRINKLED.
HE LIKES IT SMOOTH.
[ SIGHS ]
NO, NOT THERE. YOU GOT TO PUT IT ON THE FRONT DOOR.
HEY, IT'S GONE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "IT'S GONE"?
IT'S NOT THERE.
JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.
LET'S GO.
HEY, DID YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER OF THE MAT?
IT NEEDS TO BE CENTERED.
[ SIGHS ]
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
NESTOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NESTOR!
NESTOR...
[ Sobbing ] WHY?
[ Voice breaking ] FOR A NEWSPAPER?
[ CRYING ]
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE *
* NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE
* WELL, I DO
* HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE *
* DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? *
* WELL, I DO, AND IT'S AMAZING *
* PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME *
* IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED, TOO *
* YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION, ALL THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH *
* MIGHT JUST KILL YOU
* I COULD BE WRONG NOW
* BUT I DON'T THINK SO
* 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
COMING THROUGH.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, MOMS AND DADS,
THIS CRIME SCENE IS GETTING COLD.
DONAHUE, I WANT YOU TO GET TWO UNIFORMS
AND START KNOCKING ON DOORS.
ANY CAR THAT'S NOT PARKED IN THE DRIVEWAY,
RUN THE PLATES.
LET'S GO.
IS THAT COFFEE READY YET?
UH...
WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?
WHAT -- IT'S A CRIME SCENE.
THERE WAS A MURDER RIGHT OUT FRONT.
BUT...
THEY HAD TO SET UP SOMEWHERE.
H-HELLO! EXCUSE ME.
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
EVERYONE.
HOW'S HE DOING?
OH, GREAT. NO PROBLEM.
HEY, MONK. I NEED TO ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS.
DID YOU KNOW THE VICTIM?
YES, THAT WAS NESTOR ALVEREZ.
HE AND HIS COUSIN
HAVE BEEN DELIVERING MY NEWSPAPER FOR TWO YEARS.
ACCORDING TO THE COUSIN,
NESTOR CAUGHT THE KILLER STEALING YOUR NEWSPAPER.
THAT'S WHAT THE FIGHT WAS ABOUT.
NESTOR PUTS DOWN THE PAPER, THE KILLER STOLE IT --
PUTS DOWN ANOTHER PAPER, THE KILLER STEALS THAT ONE.
DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? NUNH-UNH.
WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?
COUSIN CAN'T IDENTIFY THE GUY. DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
WHAT TIME WAS THAT?
5:30.
NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE HEARD A THING.
SLEEPING?
NO.
I WAS VACUUMING.
HELLO? UH, EXCUSE ME.
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?
THERE'S BEEN A HOMICIDE.
A HOMICIDE?
YOU MEAN...A MURDER? HOLY TOLEDO.
HERE?
OUT FRONT THIS MORNING. SOMEBODY KILLED THE PAPER BOY.
YOU ARE?
I'M KEVIN DORPHMAN...
"D" FOR DOLLY, "O" AS IN ORANGE,
"R" AS IN ROBERT --
DORPHMAN. YEAH, I GOT IT.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE, KEVIN? I LIVE UPSTAIRS.
DID YOU HEAR OR SEE ANYTHING EARLY THIS MORNING,
SAY, AROUND 5:30?
NO, SIR, I DID NOT.
I WAS...YOU KNOW...
WITH SOMEONE.
A GIRLFRIEND?
I GUESS SO. [ CHUCKLES ]
HOLY TOLEDO. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
WE'RE GONNA NEED TO QUESTION HER, TOO.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED UPSTAIRS?
SEVEN MONTHS.
BEFORE THAT, LET'S SEE. I LIVED AT 12 GRANT STREET.
BEFORE THAT, 17 MINTON STREET WITH MY SISTER
UNTIL SHE MOVED TO BALTIMORE.
SHE HAD TO TAKE A NEW JOB.
BEFORE THAT, I LIVED AT 34 WARREN PLACE FOR TWO YEARS.
BEFORE THAT, I LIVED AT 8 TODD ROAD
AND 45 RATCLIFF STREET, CONSECUTIVELY.
MY FIRST PLACE, THOUGH, ON 26 HARMONY LANE --
THAT WAS A STUDIO.
BUT WHAT I DID WAS --
YOU MIGHT WANT TO WRITE THIS DOWN FOR YOURSELF --
I PUT THE BED UP ON A LOFT TO CREATE SOME SPACE.
ADRIAN, ADRIAN, GIVE IT TO ME.
CAN I GO HOME NOW?
YOU ARE HOME.
OH, YEAH.
JUST RELAX, IT'S FINE.
OH, EXCUSE ME. WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?
I, UH -- I DON'T HAVE ONE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A BATHROOM?
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
I AM STILL SO ANGRY AT THAT ARCHITECT.
EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WIPING MY FEET.
ON A MAT?
[ SNEEZE ]
OH.
KEVIN, IS IT TRUE? SOMEBODY WAS KILLED?
PAPER BOY.
OH, GOD.
RIGHT OUT FRONT.
WHEN?
THIS MORNING AROUND 5:30 WHILE WE WERE [INHALES DEEPLY]...
[ Chuckling ] YOU KNOW.
[ CHUCKLES ] MMM.
SHARONA, HI. HOW ARE YOU?
OH, GOOD. YEAH.
LIEUTENANT, HI. VICKI.
VICKI...? SELENAS.
OH, YOU WORK AT THE STOP-N-GO ON RIDGEDALE, RIGHT?
THAT'S HOW WE MET.
VICKI'S BEEN SERVING ME MY DOUGHNUT AND SUPER-SIZE LATTE
EVERY MORNING FOR FIVE MONTHS.
WHEN WE FIRST MET, I WASN'T SUPER-SIZING. NO.
LAST JULY I HAD TO PULL ALL-NIGHTERS
BECAUSE I WAS WORKING ON NEW INVENTORY DIAGNOSTIC SOFTWARE.
I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT JOB.
YES, YOU DID. MM-HMM.
BUT WAIT, IT WASN'T JULY, IT WAS AUGUST.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN GOING OUT?
SINCE YESTERDAY.
REALLY? WOW, THAT'S FAST.
YEAH. YEAH.
I'VE BEEN ASKING HER OUT ALL SUMMER LONG.
"NO. NO. DROP DEAD. NO."
BUT THEN SUDDENLY LAST NIGHT, "YES."
AND I'VE BEEN SAYING YES EVER SINCE.
HEY, SHARONA.
YOU'RE STILL MONK'S NURSE, RIGHT?
TRY TO GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
[ SIGHS ]
GOOD LUCK.
HEY. HOW YOU DOING?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MURDER.
LET'S GO OUTSIDE. YOU THINK BETTER OUTSIDE.
WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO KILL A PAPER BOY?
WHAT WERE THEY AFTER?
MAYBE HE WAS TOO CHEAP TO BUY HIS OWN.
WHY WOULD HE STEAL TWO?
HE COULD HAVE JUST TAKEN THE FIRST ONE,
BUT HE STUCK AROUND.
HE WANTED BOTH.
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE NEWSPAPER
HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE.
WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE AN ARTICLE ABOUT ANOTHER CRIME HE'D COMMITTED.
DO ME A FAVOR.
BUY ME A NEWSPAPER.
OKAY, BUT YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
I CAN'T.
IF SOMETHING SPILLS, I WANT TO BE HERE.
ADRIAN, IF SOMETHING SPILLS, YOU DON WANT TO BE HERE.
THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
Let's go.
Monk: THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE.
SOMETHING THEY DID NOT WANT ME TO SEE.
[ SIGHS ]
LOOK AT THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH --
KEVIN'S NEW GIRLFRIEND.
WHAT DOES SHE SEE IN HIM?
I GUESS YOU NEVER KNOW. LOOK WHO I MARRIED.
YEAH.
PEOPLE USED TO SAY TRUDY WAS WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
YOU THINK THEY WERE RIGHT?
OH, OF COURSE THEY WERE. OH, HERE.
THEY HAVE SIERRA SPRINGS.
IT'S MY FAVORITE.
OH, CAN YOU GRAB ME A CREAM SODA?
I LOVE THEIR CREAM SODA.
THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN GET IT.
[ GRUNTING ]
AH, SOME KIDS MUST'VE TIGHTENED IT ON...FOR A JOKE.
GIVE IT TO ME.
THERE.
I LOOSENED IT. [ CHUCKLES ]
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
HOW YOU FOLKS DOING?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
NO.
HOW ABOUT A LOTTERY TICKET?
NO. YOU JUST HAD A WINNER.
I NEVER BUY A TICKET
UNLESS THE JACKPOT'S MORE THAN $10 MILLION, SO.
YEAH, $10 MILLION.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY COULD EVEN CALL THAT A JACKPOT.
ANYTHING?
NOTHING YET.
WELL, HERE. LET ME HAVE A SECTION.
[ SIGHS ] WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?
I DON'T KNOW -- JUST ANYTHING UNUSUAL.
"HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER KILLS GRANDMOTHER."
WHERE DID THAT HAPPEN?
LAUREL HEIGHTS.
AROUND 3:00 P.M.?
3:15. WHY?
CALL THE CAPTAIN.
I THINK I JUST SOLVED THE CASE.
WHAT?!
YOU THINK THE KILLER'S IN THERE?
I BET YOUR PAYCHECK ON IT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY WAS HE STEALING YOUR PAPER?
'CAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE THESE TWO ARTICLES.
HE KNEW I WAS THE ONLY ONE
WHO COULD POSSIBLY SEE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM.
YOU'RE FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, HUH?
I'M ALLOWED ONCE A DECADE. DID YOU CALL THE CAPTAIN?
HE'LL BE HERE IN 10 MINUTES.
LET'S WAIT OUTSIDE.
IT'S STUCK. YOU GOT TO PUSH IT.
I'M PUSHING.
[ SIGHS ]
[ STAMMERS ] LET'S JUST WAIT IN THE CAR.
OKAY, THERE YOU GO. NOW WE'VE GOT IT.
YOU THINK YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME.
WHAT?
YOU THINK YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME.
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
BUT IT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE ME.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO TAKE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT IF ONE DAY I WENT NUTS --
WHAT IF YOU WENT NUTS? OH, BOY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO USE MY IMAGINATION FOR THAT ONE.
I'M JUST SAYING, "WHAT IF?"
WHAT IF -- WHAT IF I ATTACKED YOU?
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE ME?
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I COULD.
SO WHAT?
I WORK OUT. I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
WHY? BECAUSE I COULDN'T OPEN THE CAR DOOR...
OR -- OR THE WATER BOTTLE?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
FINE, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME. OKAY, YOU WIN.
JUST DROP IT. GOD.
[ SIGHS ]
I CAN BENCH 200.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
WHAT CAN YOU BENCH?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT YOU CAN'T BENCH 200.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO -- YOU WANT TO FIGHT?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
COME ON, LET'S SETTLE IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW -- YOU AND ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?
YOU NEED A REFEREE?
OH, NO, WE'RE FINE.
I JUST HURT HIS FEELINGS 'CAUSE I'M STRONGER THAN HIM.
SHE'S NOT STRONGER THAN ME. THE CAR DOOR WAS JAMMED.
IF IT WAS JAMMED, HOW DID I OPEN IT?
LEVERAGE. IT'S CALLED LEVERAGE.
EXCUSE ME!
DID SOMEBODY CALL A POLICE OFFICER?
CAPTAIN, I THINK I KNOW WHY THE PAPER BOY WAS KILLED.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS ON THE FRONT PAGE.
NOW LOOK AT THIS.
WOW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS HE IN THERE NOW?
ACCORDING TO HIS SECRETARY.
LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT.
OKAY.
HERE WE GO.
SORRY, I WASN'T LAUGHING AT YOU.
I WAS.
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO BANG OUT THE FENDER...
BUT YOU'RE GONNA NEED A NEW GRILLE.
WHATEVER IT TAKES. HOW LONG DO YOU THINK?
A WEEK? I'LL GIVE YOU $200 EXTRA IF YOU HAVE IT DONE BY TOMORROW.
ARE YOU MALCOLM CALLOWAY?
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER.
THIS IS LIEUTENANT DISHER, SHARONA FLEMING.
AND... I'M...ADRIAN MONK.
THE ADRIAN MONK.
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
I WAS READING ABOUT YOU IN THE NEWSPAPER.
Monk: I NEED A WIPE HERE.
THAT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? "IT JUST WASN'T HIS DAY."
IT SAYS YOU HAD TWO ACCIDENTS IN 10 MINUTES.
FIRST YOU HIT A LITTLE TREE.
THEN YOU DROVE ANOTHER HALF A MILE AND HIT A LAMPPOST.
THAT'S RIGHT. IS THAT A CRIME?
IT IS IF YOU WERE INTENTIONALLY DAMAGING YOUR CAR
SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN A SMASHED-IN GRILLE.
SEE, MR. MONK FOUND THIS OTHER ARTICLE.
"HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER KILLS A GRANDMOTHER" --
SAME NEIGHBORHOOD, SAME APPROXIMATE TIME.
WE THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE A CONNECTION.
HMM.
Disher: CAPTAIN...
BLOOD.
TURN AROUND. PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR.
YOU, SIR, ARE UNDER ARREST FOR VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER,
LEAVING THE SCENE OF A CRIME,
AND FOR THE MURDER OF MR. ALVEREZ.
COME WITH ME.
HE'S NOT THE GUY.
WHAT? MONK, WE GOT HIM DEAD TO RIGHTS.
HE IS GUILTY OF THE HIT-AND-RUN,
BUT HE DIDN'T KILL THE PAPER BOY.
HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS.
THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE IN THIS NEWSPAPER...
SOMETHING I'M MISSING.
UGH!
OH, MY GOD!
OHHH...
THE HUMANITY.
[ Sighing ] YEAH, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME.
[ GAGS ]
CAPTAIN, I HAVE A THOUGHT...
...ABOUT PAPER BOY.
THIS MEANS HURRY UP.
IT WAS A BURGLARY.
THE PAPER BOY INTERRUPTED A B&E IN PROGRESS.
THERE WERE FIVE BREAK-INS ON THAT BLOCK LAST YEAR ALONE.
NOPE, I LOOKED INTO THAT ALREADY.
ALL OF THOSE BREAK-INS WERE HOT PROWLS --
FORCED ENTRY WITH A CROWBAR.
OUR GUY WAS EMPTY-HANDED.
WHAT ABOUT A CAR THIEF?
WELL, THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE TAKING OF THE NEWSPAPERS.
RIGHT. SO WE'RE BACK TO MONK'S THEORY.
I'M AFRAID SO.
AND THIS MEANS WE'RE LEAVING.
RIGHT.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] Stottlemeyer: MONK?
OH, THANK GOD.
I THOUGHT WE COULD EACH TAKE A SECTION.
WOW, HOW'D YOU CLEAN UP SO FAST?
I CLEANED UP LAST NIGHT.
DID YOU SLEEP AT ALL?
HE CAN SLEEP WHILE HE CLEANS.
I'VE SEEN IT.
OKAY, THERE'S SOMETHING HERE -- SOMETHING I'M MISSING.
SOMETHING WORTH KILLING FOR.
WELL, LET'S JUST GO THROUGH IT LINE BY LINE.
"PARTLY CLOUDY, CHANCE OF SHOWERS."
COULD THAT MEAN ANYTHING?
THERE WAS A DRUG BUST IN HUNTERS POINT.
OH, YEAH. I'M AWARE OF THAT ONE.
THAT'S NOTHING -- STRICTLY ROUTINE.
OKAY, COMICS.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING HIDDEN IN HERE.
UH, "MARMADUKE."
I LOVE "MARMADUKE."
HE'S THIS -- HE'S A DOG.
BUT HE'S ENORMOUS.
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BIG THIS DOG IS.
WE KNOW WHO MARMADUKE IS.
AH, LOOK.
HE ATE THE WHOLE TURKEY RIGHT OFF THE TABLE.
"I GUESS WE CAN FORGET ABOUT LEFTOVERS."
[ LAUGHS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Kevin: HELLO?
OH, COME IN, KEVIN. WE'RE RIGHT IN HERE.
OH, HI.
EXCUSE ME. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
ADRIAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY OLIVE OIL?
I'M MAKING MUSHROOM MOUSSAKA. IT'S VICKI'S FAVORITE.
[ Sighing ] OH, UH, I THINK SO.
HOW'S IT GOING UP THERE? PRETTY GOOD.
WE HAVEN'T LEFT THE APARTMENT SINCE FRIDAY.
I KNOW. I CAN, UH...
I KNOW.
THE FACT IS, I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
GOOD, GOOD. LOVE IS GOOD.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
OH, WELL, LET'S SEE. UH, I HAVE THE EGGPLANT.
I HAVE THE CHOPPED ONIONS.
EXCELLENT.
I HAVE THE SALT, AND I HAVE THE CINNAMON.
WELL, IF YOU THINK --
I HAVE THE OREGANO. I HAVE THE PARSLEY.
I DON'T HAVE BUTTER, BUT I CAN USE MARGARINE.
WHAT A RELIEF. WELL, THIS WAS FUN.
I WILL BRING THIS BACK TO YOU LATER.
NO, NO, YOU KEEP IT. IT'S YOURS. GOOD LUCK!
Sharona: HOW'S KEVIN DOING?
HE'S IN LOVE.
LISTEN. THIS IS "NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD."
"PARIS, FRANCE -- THERE IS AN UNSOLVED MURDER.
A WOMAN WAS FOUND STRANGLED AND BOTH OF HER HANDS WERE CUT OFF."
Disher: THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME -- NO FINGERPRINTS.
MAKES IT HARDER TO I.D. THE BODY.
NO, HERE'S THE THING.
THEY FOUND THE HANDS.
THEY WERE A COUPLE METERS AWAY FROM THE BODY.
THE KILLER CUT OFF BOTH HANDS
BUT THEN LEFT THEM NEAR THE BODY?
YEAH.
SHE AND HER HUSBAND BOTH WORKED AS CURATORS
AT THE PRISON MUSEUM IN THE BASTILLE.
PRISON MUSEUM...
CAPTAIN DUPRAT?
OUI?
[ CONVERSING IN FRENCH ]
OH, PAS POSSIBLE.
CAPTAIN DUPRAT, PREFECT OF THE POLICE.
Bonjour.
JE M'APPELLE CAPITAINE LELAND STOTTLEMEYER.
UH, JE TRAVAIL AVEC, UH...
le DéPARTEMENT de POLICE de SAN FRANCISCO.
Parlez-vous English?
I SPEAK ENOUGH. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, CAPTAIN?
Hi, I have a friend here. His name is Adrian Monk.
BONJOUR!
HE HAS A THEORY ABOUT AN UNSOLVED CASE OF YOURS.
HERE, I'LL PUT HIM ON.
HE SPEAKS ENGLISH WELL.
[ Beeping ]
HELLO, BONJOUR. BONJOUR.
YES, I THINK I KNOW WHO KILLED MADAME BEAUDREAU.
OUI, MONSIEUR MONK. WHAT IS YOUR THEORY?
HER HUSBAND DID IT.
OUI, WE SUSPECTED HIM FROM THE BEGINNING.
BUT WHY DID HE CUT OFF HER HANDS?
HE MUST'VE USED HANDCUFFS FROM THE MUSEUM
TO RESTRAIN HER.
I DO NOT FOLLOW YOU.
THEY WERE ANTIQUE HANDCUFFS --
very distinctive.
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN TRACED BACK TO HIM.
MON DIEU.
HE MUST'VE LOST THE KEY.
He was desperate. He had to get them off the body.
WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.
LAFITTE! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!
MONSIEUR MONK, YOU ARE A GENIUS!
Perhaps some day you will fly to Paris,
and I can thank you in person.
YES, YES, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
I'LL CHECK MY CALENDAR.
OKAY, AU REVOIR.
WOW, YOU JUST SOLVED TWO CASES
BY LOOKING THROUGH ONE NEWSPAPER.
I KNOW. BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET.
THERE'S STILL SOMETHING HERE
SOMEBODY DOESN'T WANT ME TO SEE.
OOH, THE PERSONALS.
CAN YOU MOVE YOUR HAND?
I ALREADY LOOKED THROUGH THAT SECTION.
NOTHING IN IT.
"MAN WITH A BADGE IN HOT PURSUIT OF ROMANCE.
I'M 32, FIT, SEXY, AMBITIOUS, WITH A DYNAMITE SENSE OF HUMOR."
OH, MY GOD. THAT'S YOU.
DYNAMITE SENSE OF HUMOR SINCE WHEN?
CAN I HAVE THAT, PLEASE?
NO.
"LOOKING FOR PETITE BLONDE, NO-NONSENSE ATTITUDE,
KIDS OKAY."
THAT'S ME.
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
WHERE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?
WHY, ARE YOU JEALOUS? HE IS SO BORING.
WHERE IS HE NOW?
HE'S FAST ASLEEP. I WORE HIM OUT.
YEAH, I'M SURE YOU DID.
OKAY, LET'S BE VERY CAREFUL HERE.
LOOSE ENDS -- ARE THERE ANY LOOSE ENDS?
I DON'T THINK SO.
OH, WAIT. I JUST THOUGHT OF ONE.
[ GRUNTING ]
I THINK ALL THE LOOSE ENDS ARE COVERED, DARLING.
Monk: WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?
THE M.E. IS SAYING 2 1/2, 3 HOURS.
HE WORKED AS THE NIGHT MANAGER AT THE STOP-N-GO ON RIDGEDALE.
WE WERE JUST THERE.
THAT'S WHERE WE BOUGHT THE NEWSPAPER.
THE ONE WITH YOUR LETTER IN IT TO ME.
IT WASN'T TO YOU.
Stottlemeyer: HIS SHIFT ENDED AT 4:00 A.M.
HE CAME HERE TO MAKE THE NIGHT DEPOSIT,
AND HE GOT JUMPED BY THE KILLER.
STABBED TWICE --
ONCE IN THE NECK, ONCE IN THE STOMACH WITH THAT BOTTLE.
NO PRINTS ON THE BOTTLE. NOTHING YET.
SURVEILLANCE CAMERA?
NEGATIVE. IT'S OVER BY THE ATM.
IT'S FACING THE WRONG WAY, DIDN'T SEE A THING.
WE HAVEN'T HAD A HOMICIDE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
FOR OVER FOUR YEARS.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'VE GOT TWO.
FIRST YOUR NEWSPAPER BOY KILLED FOR A NEWSPAPER
AND NOW THIS ROBBERY.
THIS WAS NO ROBBERY.
WHAT -- THE KILLER TOOK THE MONEY.
THE KILLER WANTS US TO THINK ROBBERY.
BUT WHY WOULDN'T HE DO IT IN A MORE SECLUDED SPOT?
HE COULD HAVE KILLED HIM ANYWHERE
BETWEEN HERE AND THE STORE.
MAYBE THE KILLER JUST WAITED FOR HIM HERE BY THE BANK.
NO.
THE KILLER HAD TO HAVE FOLLOWED THE VICTIM FROM THE STORE.
CREAM SODA BOTTLE...
CAN'T FIND THAT BRAND ANYWHERE ELSE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE VICTIM WASN'T DRINKING THIS SODA?
HE WORKED AT THE STOP-N-GO.
THAT'S TRUE.
IT'S A WOMAN. THERE'S LIPSTICK ON THE BOTTLE.
HOW DID I MISS THAT?
SHE'S STRONGER AND SMARTER THAN YOU.
THE TV ISN'T WORKING.
I UNPLUGGED IT.
WHY?
I DON'T WANT ANY DISTRACTIONS. I WANT TO CONCENTRATE ON YOU.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HERE, EAT.
OH, UH, OH.
HUH.
MMM.
KEEP YOUR ENERGY UP. [ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME.
[ LAUGHS ]
HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY?
OH, I'M THE LUCKY ONE. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?
VICKI...
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
PROVE IT.
THIS IS THE SAME HEADLINE AS YESTERDAY.
IT'S THE SAME PAPER, HONEY.
YOU'RE READING THE SAME NEWSPAPER?
IT'S PART OF A CASE WE'RE WORKING ON.
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN.
IS IT HARDER THAN OPENING A CAR DOOR?
BENJY.
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. I SWEAR.
I HEARD MOM TALKING TO AUNT GAIL.
MOM SAYS YOU FEEL THREATENED BY HER BECAUSE SHE'S STRONGER THAN YOU.
BENJY! IT'S THE TRUTH.
ADRIAN, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO...
HEY, HEY. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS ARM-WRESTLE?
THEN YOU'LL KNOW FOR SURE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA ARM-WRESTLE.
WHY NOT? HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
SURE, HE DOES.
HE'S NOT AFRAID OF YOU. ARE YOU, MR. MONK?
OKAY, LET'S DO IT.
OH, BOY.
THIS IS LIKE TRIPLE "H" VERSUS THE UNDERTAKER.
BRING IT ON OVER TO ME.
RIGHTY OR LEFTY?
RIGHTY.
LEFTY, LEFTY.
WAIT.
RIGHTY.
UM...
RIGHT -- LEFTY.
LET'S JUST DO IT RIGHTY, OKAY?
OKAY.
SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR A GLOVE OR SOMETHING?
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
I DON'T NEED A GLOVE. WHY WOULD I NEED A GLOVE?
LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.
READY... READY, READY...
GET SET...
GO!
[ Chuckling ] OH.
[ GROWLING ]
YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT NOISE?
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU.
COME ON, MR. MONK!
BENJY, I'M YOUR MOM.
COME ON, MOM!
[ GRUNTS ]
HEY, EVERYBODY!
[ Straining ] HI.
WHO'S WINNING?
I AM. I AM.
MR. MONK, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE MET VICKI BEFORE.
HONEY, HE OBVIOUSLY CAN'T SHAKE HANDS NOW.
THAT'S OKAY.
HE'S NOT BIG ON HANDSHAKES, ANYWAY.
I JUST HAD TO TELL SOMEBODY WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!
SO FAST?
WHEN'S THE BIG DAY?
TOMORROW. VICKI DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT.
I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WORKS AT THE HOSPITAL,
SO WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR BLOOD TESTS.
HONEY, WE'RE LATE.
HOLY TOLEDO. WE GOT TO GO.
TELL ME WHO WINS.
OKAY.
[ BOTH PANTING ]
[ GRUNTING ]
WIPE, WIPE! I NEED A WIPE HERE.
AND THE WINNER IS... MR. MONK!
GUYS RULE AND GIRLS DROOL.
THAT'S RIGHT. GIRLS DROOL.
HEY, DON'T FEEL BAD. YOU DID GOOD.
YOU DID GOOD, REALLY.
YOU KNOW, [CHUCKLES]
YOU HAD ME SCARED THERE FOR A MINUTE.
AT LEAST IT'S OVER NOW AND WE KNOW...
YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME.
YEAH.
HEY, HEY. YOU BEAT ME FAIR AND SQUARE.
SHE -- SHE WINKED?
IT WAS DEFINITELY A WINK.
I THINK SHE LET ME WIN.
WHY DOES THAT BOTHER YOU, ADRIAN?
YOU HAVE TO BE THE MAN?
NO, I DON'T HAVE TO BE THE MAN,
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE MANNISH.
I'VE BEEN FEELING SO WEAK LATELY.
MAYBE I'M JUST TIRED.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING AGAIN.
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR HAS A GIRLFRIEND...
VERY FRIENDLY.
VERY FRIENDLY ALL NIGHT LONG, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I'M JUST WONDERING, THOUGH, IF -- WHAT'S KEEPING YOU AWAKE?
IS IT THE NOISE OR IS IT WHAT THEY'RE DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
WELL, MAYBE WHAT THEY'RE DOING MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT TRUDY --
MAKES YOU MISS TRUDY.
IT'S SOMETHING WE'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT, ADRIAN --
YOUR PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR LATE WIFE.
I CONSIDER THAT A PERSONAL QUESTION.
YES, IT IS. THAT'S WHAT I DO.
I ASSUME YOU AND TRUDY WERE...INTIMATE.
WE HELD HANDS...A LOT -- ALL THE TIME.
ONCE WE WOKE UP HOLDING HANDS.
WE HAD BEEN HOLDING HANDS THE WHOLE NIGHT.
THAT'S SWEET. I LIKE THAT.
THAT'S NICE, BUT...
ADRIAN, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES THE...HOLDING HANDS?
UH, I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
NO, PLENTY OF TIME.
ARE THOSE PILLOWS NEW?
NO.
THEY LOOK...NEW.
ADRIAN, I'M YOUR DOCTOR. I THINK THIS IS IMPORTANT.
NOW, WE'VE GOT 20 MINUTES LEFT.
WE COULD SIT HERE, WE COULD SING SHOW TUNES TO EACH OTHER,
OR WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.
IT'S YOUR CALL.
* IF EVER I WOULD LEAVE YOU
* IT WOULDN'T BE IN SUMMER
* SEEING YOU IN SUMMER, I NEVER WOULD GO-O-O-O *
* NO, NO, NOT IN SPRINGTIME
* SUMMER, WINTER, OR FALL
* NO, NEVER WOULD I LEAVE YOU
* AT ALL
* IF EVER I WOULD LEAVE YOU
* IT WOULDN'T BE IN SUMMER
"PIZZA PARLOR. GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.
BY APPOINTMENT ONLY."
[ SIGHS ]
The end.
That's it...
NOTHING HERE. NOTHING HERE.
[ SIGHS ]
[ TELEPHONE KEYS CLICKING ]
SHARONA, MEET ME AT CITY HALL.
I KNOW WHO KILLED THE PAPER BOY. AND I KNOW WHY.
ADRIAN, SORRY I'M LATE.
I HAD TO DROP BENJY OFF.
IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US THE WHOLE TIME --
RIGHT ON THE FRONT PAGE.
THE LOTTERY?
THAT'S WHAT THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN ABOUT --
$43 MILLION JACKPOT.
EXCUSE ME, WHERE IS THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE?
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE?
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE NUMBERS?
NO.
WILL YOU SLOW DOWN? I'M IN HEELS.
I KNEW I'D HEARD THESE NUMBERS BEFORE.
I CALLED LIEUTENANT DISHER.
I ASKED HIM TO CHECK HIS NOTES TO MAKE SURE.
REMEMBER WHEN KEVIN CAME DOWNSTAIRS AFTER THE MURDER?
HE STARTED REELING OFF HIS OLD ADDRESSES.
BEFORE THAT, I LIVED AT 34 WARREN PLACE FOR TWO YEARS.
BEFORE THAT, 8 TODD ROAD AND 45 RATCLIFF STREET,
CONSECUTIVELY.
SHARONA, KEVIN WON THE LOTTERY ON THURSDAY NIGHT.
17-26-34 -- THESE ARE HIS OLD HOUSE NUMBERS.
HE PLAYED THE SAME NUMBERS EVERY WEEK.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
KEVIN WON $43 MILLION? WHY DIDN'T HE SAY ANYTHING?
HE DIDN'T KNOW. HE STILL DOESN'T.
BUT VICKI KNOWS.
KEVIN BOUGHT HIS LOTTERY TICKETS AT THE STOP-N-GO EVERY WEEK.
VICKI, I WOULD LIKE MY LOTTERY TICKET.
Monk: VICKI AND THE OTHER CLERK, PROBABLY HER ACCOMPLICE,
GOT TO KNOW HIS LUCKY NUMBERS BY HEART.
...WONDERING IF YOU AND I COULD -- NO WAY.
WHEN THE NUMBER WERE DRAWN, THEY REALIZED KEVIN HAD WON.
THEY KNEW HE LIVED ALONE, HE DIDN'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS.
IT OCCURRED TO THEM MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,
HE DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD WON.
VICKI, COME HERE. LOOK.
Monk: THEY CAME UP WITH A PLAN -- PROBABLY VICKI'S IDEA.
Sharona: WHY VICKI?
BECAUSE THE OTHER GUY'S DEAD.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, WAIT, WAIT.
[ SIGHS ]
[ BEEPS ]
[ PRINTER CLICKING ]
THIS IS IT.
LATER ON SOME PRETEXT, VICKI WOKE KEVIN UP.
KEVIN, HI.
FOR A WOMAN LIKE HER, THE REST WAS EASY.
I FOUND THESE AT THE STORE.
I THOUGHT MAYBE THEY WERE...YOURS.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES.
WELL, THESE ARE MINE. I'M WEARING MINE.
OH, GOD, I'M SO STUPID. [ LAUGHS ]
ALL VICKI HAD TO DO WAS KEEP KEVIN DISTRACTED
FOR A DAY OR TWO.
SHE WOULDN'T LET HIM ANSWER HIS PHONE.
SHE UNPLUGGED THE TV.
SHE DIDN'T WANT HIM TO SEE
OR THINK ABOUT THE WINNING LOTTERY NUMBERS.
WHY DID THEY KILL YOUR PAPER BOY?
THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MY PAPER.
THEY THOUGHT IT WAS KEVIN'S.
THEY COULDN'T AFFORD TO LET HIM SEE THIS.
WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST STEAL THE TICKET?
THE TIME STAMP ON THE TICKET WOULD MATCH THE TIME CODE
FROM THE STORE SECURITY CAMERA.
HE COULD PROVE IT WAS HIS.
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.
THAT WAS HER PLAN FROM THE BEGINNING --
TO GET HIM TO MARRY HER BEFORE HE KNEW HE WAS WORTH A FORTUNE.
IF ANYONE PRESENT KNOWS OF ANY REASON
WHY THIS COUPLE SHOULD NOT BE WED IN HOLY MATRIMONY,
LET THEM --
THAT WOMAN'S A KILLER! SHE'S MARRYING HIM -- FOR HIS MONEY.
SORRY. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
T-THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.
I-I LOVE YOUR DRESS. OH.
[ SIGHS ]
SHE SAID WE'RE TOO LATE. THEY LEFT 15 MINUTES AGO.
SHE JUST OVERHEARD THEM TALK ABOUT THEIR HONEYMOON.
WHERE ARE THEY GOING?
SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
KEVIN CAN JUST GET HIS MARRIAGE ANNULLED WHEN HE GETS BACK.
IT'S AN OPTION I SHOULD HAVE EXPLORED.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO HER PARTNER?
VICKI SELENAS IS A COLD-BLOODED KILLER.
I THINK SHE'S PLANNING TO INHERIT THAT MONEY...
MAYBE TONIGHT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
SHE SAID SHE SAW THEM CHECK OUT THOSE BROCHURES
JUST BEFORE THEY LEFT.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN RESTOCKED RECENTLY.
10...
10.
9.
"DEXTER CLIFF INN."
THAT'S PIGEON POINT. LET'S GO.
Monk: HURRY UP... BUT NOT TOO FAST.
BUT HURRY UP!
BUT NOT TOO FAST.
MRS. DORPHMAN -- MRS. VICKI DORPHMAN.
HOW'S THAT SOUND?
LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.
HERE. DRINK UP.
I THINK IT'S MAKING ME TIRED.
YEAH, WELL, FIVE SECONALS WILL DO THAT.
HUH.
[ SIGHS ]
WHY ARE WE STOPPED?
OH, YOU'LL FIND OUT... IN SEVEN MINUTES.
DRINK UP.
HUH.
I REALLY DO LOVE YOU.
YEAH, WELL, EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES.
YEAH.
[ SIGHS ]
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, IT'S MY INHERITANCE.
MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED IN A TRAIN ACCIDENT.
HE WAS DRINKING.
HE FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL ON THE TRACKS.
HE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY.
[ Sleepily ] OHH, THAT'S...TERRIBLE.
[ BELL CLANGING ]
YEAH.
OHH.
MMM.
MMMMM.
Monk: COULD THAT BE THEIR CAR?
Sharona: I DON'T KNOW.
KEVIN!
OH, MY GOD, IT'S HIM.
KEVIN!
KEVIN! KEVIN!
IT'S LOCKED. KEVIN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
ARE YOU OKAY? KEVIN, CAN YOU HEAR US?
KEVIN!
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
[ GASPS ] I'LL GET THE SWITCH.
KEVIN! KEVIN, WAKE UP!
COME ON, WAKE UP. THAT'S IT.
COME ON! WAKE UP!
[ CREAKING ]
KEVIN!
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!
IT'S STUCK!
COME ON.
AAH!
OH, NO.
AAH!
[ GASPS ]
AAH!
YOUR BIRTHDAY'S THE 9th, RIGHT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M PLAYING THE LOTTERY.
YOU'LL NEVER WIN.
YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF BEING HIT BY LIGHTNING.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
ADRIAN, SHARONA, I'M HEADING OUT.
I WANTED TO STOP IN AND SAY CIAO.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
MY PLACE IN MAUI ISN'T READY YET,
SO I'LL BE STAYING AT MY HOUSE IN ASPEN FOR A WHILE.
GREAT.
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM VICKI?
WHO?
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
EXCUSE ME.
BONADUCE.
YEAH, WHAT'S HAPPENING, DANNY BOY?
HANG ON. I GOT TO TAKE THIS.
LISTEN, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR TROUBLE.
OH, NO. KEVIN, NO.
I-I CAN'T TAKE ANY MONEY FROM YOU.
WELL, I CAN. [ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS.
TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.
AND REMEMBER, YOU GOT TO BE IN IT TO WIN IT.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
$400? AFTER I SAVED HIS LIFE?
YOU? I PULLED THE TRAIN SWITCH.
AFTER I LOOSENED IT.
YOU DIDN'T LOOSEN IT.
IT GAVE A LITTLE JUST BEFORE YOU GRABBED IT.
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME?
BECAUSE I CAN.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY O.C.P.I. PRODUCTIONS, INC.