AH-CHOO!
OH, GOSH.
HELLO?
MR. DONOVAN?
[ KEYS JANGLE ]
WH-WHAT -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
OH! NO!
OH! OH!
HELP! HELP!
OH! HELP!
HELP!
HELP! HELP!
OH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
HELP ME! HELP ME!
SOMEBODY HELP ME!
HELP ME! AAH!
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE *
* NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE
* WELL, I DO
* HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
* POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE *
* DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? *
* WELL, I DO, AND IT'S AMAZING *
* PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME *
* IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED, TOO *
* YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION, ALL THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH *
* MIGHT JUST KILL YOU
* I COULD BE WRONG NOW
* BUT I DON'T THINK SO
* 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *
* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
OVER THERE, OVER THERE.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BUY A TV WHILE I'M HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE ONE YOU HAVE?
IT BROKE. ALL WE GET IS THE SCIENCE CHANNEL.
I SWEAR, IF I SEE ONE MORE SHOW ABOUT THE MOON LANDING,
I'M GOING TO SCREAM.
YEAH, WHAT COULD BE MORE DULL THAN THE CONQUEST OF SPACE?
EXACTLY.
HI. UM, WE'RE WITH THE POLICE.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE...
DEAD BODY? MM-HMM.
TAKE YOUR PICK.
WE GOT A WHOLE STORE FULL OF THEM.
THE POLICE ARE IN THE BACK.
ON THE LOADING DOCK.
[ POP ]
IGNORE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO POP THEM ALL.
[ POP POP POP ]
MONK, SHARONA.
YOU HAVING FUN?
NO. WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
IT'S PRETTY ROUTINE -- AN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT.
YEAH, HER NAME WAS EDNA CORUTHERS.
THE MANAGER SAYS SHE WAS A MODEL EMPLOYEE,
FIRST ONE HERE, LAST ONE TO LEAVE.
HE FIGURED SHE WAS CHECKING ON A DELIVERY FOR A CUSTOMER,
AND A 42-INCH FLAT-SCREEN TV FELL ON HER.
SHE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY.
THAT'S HORRIBLE. DOES THE TV STILL WORK?
SHARONA...
THE TV JUST KILLED A WOMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, LOCK IT UP?
[ POP ]
TIRED?
YEAH, I WAS UP ALL LAST NIGHT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH, THOSE IMAGINARY GIRLFRIENDS CAN BE PRETTY WILD.
SHE'S NOT IMAGINARY.
OOH. WHAT'S HER NAME?
CRYSTAL.
WHAT'S HER LAST NAME -- GLASSWARE?
NO, IT'S SMITH.
DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE? YEAH.
OH.
SHE'S PRETTY.
RANDY, THIS CAME WITH THE WALLET.
YEAH, I KNOW. SHE'S A WALLET MODEL.
THAT'S SAD.
SHARONA, SHE'S ONE OF THE TOP FIVE WALLET MODELS
IN THE WORLD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH...
I DON'T KNOW WHY THE D.A. CALLED YOU.
WE'RE WRAPPING UP OUR TENT. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
NO, NO, THE D.A. DIDN'T CALL ME.
IT WAS THE STORE SECURITY MANAGER, RIGHT?
YEAH, I TOOK THE CALL, BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE ME HIS NAME.
WELL, THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT, MONK.
IF YOU KNEW WHO IT WAS, YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE HERE.
WHO WAS IT?
[ POP POP POP POP ]
Sharona: WHO'S HE?
HIS NAME'S JOE CHRISTIE. HE'S AN EX-COP.
HEY, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, HE NEVER WAS A COP.
WHAT'D HE DO?
HE STOLE SOME DRUGS,
GOT A COUPLE OF GOOD COPS KILLED.
JOE CHRISTIE WAS MY PARTNER.
JUST AFTER I LEFT THE DEPARTMENT,
HE WAS PROMOTED TO MAJOR NARCOTICS,
AND HE ARRESTED THIS DEALER NAMED GUTNER
WITH 2 1/2 KILOS OF UNCUT COCAINE.
THE DRUGS DISAPPEARED MAGICALLY.
THEY NEVER MADE IT TO THE EVIDENCE ROOM.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE COPS?
WELL, WITHOUT THE DRUGS, THE DEALER WALKED.
HE GOT PULLED OVER A MONTH LATER
FOR A ROUTINE TRAFFIC VIOLATION,
AND HE SHOT TWO GOOD COPS. I KNEW ONE OF THEM.
I KNEW THEM BOTH.
WELL, SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TAKE HIS STATEMENT.
NO, NO, NO. NOT -- NOT ME.
I GO NEAR HIM, I DECK HIM.
FINE, I'LL DO IT.
I'LL GO WITH YOU. YOU CAN TELL ME
ALL ABOUT CRYSTAL, THE FAMOUS WALLET MODEL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYBODY EVEN HIRED THAT GUY.
WELL, HE NEVER WAS CONVICTED OF ANYTHING.
[ POP POP POP POP ]
SO, UH, WHAT,
ARE YOU GOING TO POP ALL OF THESE?
NO CHOICE.
[ POP POP POP POP ]
YOU HAVE TO PRESS DOWN WITH YOUR THUMB.
MONK, I KNOW HOW TO POP BUBBLE WRAP. THANK YOU.
HEY, CHANDLER, ROBERTO, GET OVER HERE.
START POPPING THESE.
[ POP POP POP ]
[ POP POP POP POP ]
IS THERE A REASON WHY WE'RE DOING THIS?
NOPE.
JUST KEEP POPPING.
HEY, I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
[ POP POP POP ]
HEY, HE DOESN'T THINK IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
HE SAYS SHE WAS ALLERGIC TO DUST,
AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK HERE.
PLUS HE FOUND THIS.
IT'S A HEEL. HE FOUND IT 15 YARDS FROM THE BODY.
HE THINKS SHE WAS RUNNING FROM SOMETHING.
NAH, IT JUST SNAPPED OFF AND WENT FLYING.
I'VE SEEN THAT BEFORE.
DID SHE HAVE ANY ENEMIES?
NOT REALLY, BUT THE STORE DID GET THREE COMPLAINTS
ABOUT HER LAST MONTH.
YEAH, BUT FROM THREE DIFFERENT CUSTOMERS.
THEY WERE ALL ANONYMOUS.
WHAT DID THEY SAY? NOTHING MUCH.
UH, SHE HAD ALCOHOL ON HER BREATH,
SHE WAS RUDE TO SOMEBODY...
HE WANTS YOU TO CHECK THAT OUT.
[ POP POP POP POP ]
[ POP POP POP ]
NO. NO, I CA-CAN'T DO IT.
I CAN'T -- I CAN'T WORK WITH HIM.
[ POP POP POP POP ]
[ POP POP POP ]
Benjy: WE'RE POURING TWO JIGSAW PUZZLES OUT...
500 PIECES EACH.
NOW WE'RE MIXING THEM TOGETHER.
OKAY, OPEN YOUR EYES.
READY...
GO.
IS HE A ROBOT?
NO, HE'S A PERSON.
WOW. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO?
HE VACUUMS A LOT,
AND HE SOLVES MURDERS.
YOU COULD SELL TICKETS TO THIS.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
I WANT TO, BUT MY MOM WON'T LET ME.
HE'S HER BOSS.
BENJY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'S NOT A TOY.
HE DOESN'T CARE. HE LIKES IT. DON'T YOU, MR. MONK?
OH, YEAH. THIS ONE'S MISSING THE CORNER.
DO YOU THINK HE COULD DO THREE?
LET'S FIND OUT.
UH-OH.
WE BROKE HIM.
ADRIAN.
HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
SHARONA...
YOU DON'T STILL HAVE THOSE LETTERS.
WHAT LETTERS?
THE LETTERS JOE CHRISTIE GAVE US.
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT WAS OVER A MONTH AGO.
27 DAYS.
A MONTH.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
HEY, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.
THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
OH, HE'S JUST THINKING.
WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES?
GOOD IDEA.
MORNING, JENNIE.
ADRIAN.
I GAVE UP ON YOU THREE WEEKS AGO.
THANKS FOR COMING.
ARE YOU NOT SHAKING BECAUSE IT'S ME
OR BECAUSE YOU STILL DON'T SHAKE HANDS?
LOOK, FOR WHATEVER IT'S WORTH, I DIDN'T STEAL THOSE DRUGS.
THEY WERE NEVER LOGGED IN.
I LOGGED THEM IN. THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
I THOUGHT YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,
MIGHT GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
LOOK, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOU.
I'M HERE FOR THE WOMAN WHO WAS KILLED ON THE LOADING DOCK.
WELL, ACCORDING TO THE M.E.,
WHAT HAPPENED WAS AN ACCIDENT.
LOOK, I NOTICED SOMETHING
ABOUT THE LETTERS THAT YOU GAVE US.
THEY ALL HAVE DIFFERENT POSTMARKS,
DIFFERENT HANDWRITING,
BUT THEY WERE SENT BY THE SAME PERSON.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
THE STAMPS ARE FROM THE SAME ROLL.
THE EDGES ARE UNEVEN...
BUT THEY FIT TOGETHER
LIKE PUZZLE PIECES.
I'LL BE DAMNED. YOU'RE STILL THE MAN.
SOMEBODY WAS OUT TO GET HER.
ANY IDEAS?
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
EDNA LIVED ALONE. SHE NEVER TALKED TO ANYBODY.
ALL SHE HAD WAS THIS JOB.
SHE WAS EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH FOR 11 MONTHS IN A ROW.
WHOEVER DID IT
KNEW HER SCHEDULE AND HOW TO LURE HER TO THE LOADING DOCK.
IT HAS TO BE SOMEBODY HERE IN THE STORE.
THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME. CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE?
DON'T SAY THAT.
I TALKED TO HOME OFFICE IN SACRAMENTO.
I HAVE FULL AUTHORITY TO HIRE ANYBODY I WANT.
EVEN IF I WANTED TO POKE AROUND,
NO ONE'S GOING TO TALK TO ME.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, JUST HANG OUT
IN THE MENSWEAR DEPARTMENT ALL DAY?
EXCUSE ME, WHERE IS THE PAINT THINNER?
AISLE TWO, BACK OF THE STORE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HAVE A MEGA-MART DAY.
[ BARKS ]
WHEN I TOLD HOME OFFICE ABOUT MY SUSPICION,
THEY DECIDED TO BEEF UP SECURITY.
THE DOG IS GOING TO GUARD THE LOADING DOCK AFTER HOURS.
A YELLOW SQUIRT GUN WAS FOUND IN THE BREAK ROOM,
AND A THREE-PACK OF FISH SQUIRTERS.
THAT'S BRENT DONOVAN, THE SHIFT MANAGER.
HE'S BY THE BOOK, HE'S MARRIED TO THE JOB.
YOU KNOW THE TYPE.
DOES HE KNOW ABOUT ME?
I'M NOT SURE I TRUST HIM.
YEAH. IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHO TO TRUST.
I DIDN'T STEAL THOSE DRUGS, ADRIAN.
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY SIDE OF THE STORY OR NOT?
NO. NO, THANK YOU.
WHO ARE THEY?
ONE IS RONNIE, ONE IS MORRIS.
I FORGET WHICH IS WHICH.
I'M NOT SURE THEY KNOW WHICH IS WHICH.
I MEAN, THEY'VE BEEN HERE A COUPLE OF MONTHS.
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LAST LONG.
DEAR GOD, YOU MIGHT BE THE BEST EMPLOYEE WE HAVE.
HI, HELLO. WELCOME TO MEGA-MART.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT MEGA-MART.
HI, HELLO. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT MEGA-MART.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT MEGA-MART.
HI, HELLO. WELCOME.
THANK YOU FOR WAITING. IT IS A MADHOUSE TODAY.
I COULDN'T FIND THEM IN BROWN, BUT WE DO HAVE THE BLACK.
HI, HELLO.
WELCOME TO MEGA-MART.
THAT IS A WIDE FOOT.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT MEGA-MART.
DEODORANT, AISLE 4. WHAT?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
NO REASON.
THANK YOU FOR...
OKAY, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU WALK AROUND, GIVE THEM A TRY?
AND WE ARE LOOKING AT...
10 1/2 WIDE THERE.
Donovan: CLEANUP ON AISLE FOUR.
CLEANUP ON AISLE FOUR.
I GOT IT! I GOT IT. MINE.
COMING THROUGH. I CALLED IT.
COMING THROUGH. EXCUSE ME. IT'S MINE.
WHO IS THAT MAN?
[ HORN HONKS ]
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,
WE MIGHT AS WELL DO THE JOB RIGHT.
I SAID THE SAME THING WHEN I STARTED.
WHEN WAS THAT?
I DON'T REMEMBER.
DID YOU KNOW EDNA CORUTHERS?
EVERYBODY KNEW EDNA.
I HATE TO SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD,
BUT SHE WAS A ROYAL PAIN IN THE RUMP,
ALWAYS COMING IN EARLY, WORKING LATE.
SHE WAS MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.
DID SHE EVER ARGUE OR FIGHT WITH ANYONE?
SHE'D ARGUE WITH ANYBODY WHO MESSED UP HER DEPARTMENT.
I WORKED WITH HER OVER IN HOUSEWARES.
EVERYTHING HAD TO BE SPIC AND SPAN.
SHE WAS A REGULAR PROFECTIONIST.
YOU MEAN PERFECTIONIST.
I'M NOT ONE,
SO I CAN SAY IT ANY DAMN WAY I WANT.
Man: GREAT, OKAY, YOU ALMOST GOT IT.
JUST A LITTLE BIT HIGHER.
[ COUGHS ]
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, OKAY.
HE'S RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE.
YOU ROCK. YOU ROCK, DUDE.
TRY FOR THE CHEESE CRACKERS.
AAH.
CAN'T REACH IT. HOW ABOUT CHUCKLES?
NAH.
TRY FOR THE BARBECUE CHIPS.
DUDE, YOU HAVE LONGER ARMS. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UH, I-I DROPPED A QUARTER.
DONOVAN'S LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS.
YEAH, WELL, WE'RE ON BREAK.
YOU ALREADY TOOK YOUR BREAK.
IF YOU'RE NOT OUT THERE IN TWO MINUTES,
I'M GOING TO REPORT YOU BOTH.
WHAT A TOOL.
WHO IS SHE?
JENNIE SILVERTOOL.
SHE USED TO BE COOL. REMEMBER WHEN SHE USED TO COVER FOR US?
YEAH, YEAH.
SHE USED TO HANG OUT IN THE PARKING LOT WITH US
SIPPING ON SOME BREWS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
MAYBE SHE GOT RELIGION.
YEAH, 'CAUSE, LIKE, TWO MONTHS AGO,
SHE SUDDENLY STARTED PUNCHING IN EARLY
AND WORKING ALL LATE AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
HMM.
LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE SOME COMPETITION.
HA HA.
THIS IS BASICALLY HOSE CENTRAL,
SO IF YOU GOT A HOSE, THIS IS WHERE IT GOES.
MR. DONOVAN IS VERY, VERY --
DOWN.
WHAT IS IT? WHAT?
DUDE, THOSE ARE THE GUYS.
WHAT GUYS?
THE GUYS WHO BEAT ME UP IN THE PARKING LOT.
OH.
Monk: WHEN WAS THIS?
COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
NO, WAIT, IT WAS --
LAST WEEK.
YOU KNOW, I WAS PUTTING THE PROMOTIONAL FLYERS
ALL OVER THE WINDSHIELDS AND STUFF.
THESE TWO DUDES CAME UP FROM NOWHERE,
JUST STARTED POUNDING ON ME.
BEAT THE BEJESUS OUT OF ME.
DID THEY TAKE YOUR MONEY?
NO, MAN.
THEY WERE JUST BEATING ME UP.
WAILING ON ME, NO REASON.
AND YOU'RE SURE IT WAS THEM.
NOT 100%.
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, AT THE TIME,
I WASN'T WHAT YOU'D REALLY CALL SOBER.
DUDE, IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY. DON'T DWELL ON IT.
LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
I GOT YOUR BACK.
YOU, UH, FIND EVERYTHING YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?
SURE.
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER PAY CASH?
OH, YEAH.
SORRY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE JUST TYPED IN THEIR ZIP CODE
WITHOUT ASKING WHAT IT WAS.
SHE KNOWS THEM,
BUT SHE'S PRETENDING NOT TO.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER?
THAT'S JENNIE SILVERMAN.
SHE'S THE BEST EMPLOYEE WE GOT.
THEY JUST OFFERED HER A MANAGEMENT POSITION
AT THE NEW STORE IN LIVINGSTON,
AND SHE TURNED IT DOWN.
WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE SHE HAS FRIENDS HERE SHE'S LOYAL TO.
THOSE TWO COPS WERE MARRIED,
AND ONE OF THEM HAD KIDS.
I'M LOYAL TO THEM.
[ TIRES SQUEALING ]
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU THIS QUIET.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
I'M WORKING ON A CASE.
I'M IN A STORE WORKING UNDERCOVER.
MM. SOUNDS INTERESTING.
IT'S THE MEGA-MART
ON COLUMBUS AVENUE.
MM-HMM.
I SAW YOU IN THERE YESTERDAY.
YEAH, I-I SOMETIMES STOP THERE ON THE WAY HOME.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY HI?
I SAW YOU...
YOU SAW ME WHAT?
YOU STOLE A GRANOLA BAR.
YOU TOOK A BITE, AND YOU PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
ADRIAN, THAT -- THAT REALLY HURTS ME.
IT HURTS ME, TOO.
I AM NOT A THIEF.
I HAD THAT BAR WITH ME WHEN I WENT INTO THE STORE.
I-I CARRY THEM IN MY POCKET ALL THE TIME
JUST TO KEEP UP MY ENERGY.
UH-HUH.
YEAH.
SO THERE'S, UM...
THERE'S ONE IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?
YES, ADRIAN, THERE IS ONE IN MY POCKET RIGHT NOW,
AND I-I HOPE I DO NOT HAVE TO
TAKE IT OUT TO PROVE IT TO YOU.
I-I --
YOU KNOW, ADRIAN, I SEE THIS ALL THE TIME.
I WORK WITH COPS, I WORK WITH EX-COPS.
YOU -- YOU SEE TERRIBLE THINGS.
PEOPLE LIE TO YOU.
AFTER A WHILE, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING.
I-I-I-I-I --
ADRIAN, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THE LEAP.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST.
OTHERWISE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE COMPLETELY ALONE,
AND I HOPE THAT THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT.
WHEW.
OKAY, LET'S, UM...
TALK ABOUT THE CASE.
A WOMAN WAS KILLED IN THE STORE.
OFFICIALLY, IT'S BEEN CALLED AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE WORKING IN THE STORE.
YES. IT'S GOING PRETTY WELL.
MR. DONOVAN, THE SHIFT MANAGER,
SAID HE MIGHT MOVE ME UP TO REGISTER ONE.
MM-HMM.
OH.
THANK GOD.
HA HA HA HA.
OF COURSE...
I-I KNEW IT.
I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.
OF COURSE YOU DID. YEAH.
YOU PLANNING A TRIP?
EXCUSE ME?
COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU'RE TAKING QUININE.
MALARIA PILLS.
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M ADRIAN. I KNOW YOUR NAME.
I CAN SEE YOUR NAME, BUT WHO ARE YOU?
I'M JUST A CURIOUS PERSON.
IT'S A GIFT AND A CURSE.
FOR EXAMPLE, YESTERDAY,
YOU WERE RINGING UP A CUSTOMER.
YOU PRETENDED NOT TO KNOW HIM,
BUT YOU KNEW HIS ZIP CODE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
THAT CURIOSITY OF YOURS --
IT'S NOT A GIFT AND A CURSE.
IT'S A CURSE.
[ FOOTSTEPS PASSING BY ]
[ GROANS ]
[ GROWLING ]
GOOD -- GOOD -- GOOD DOG.
[ BARKS ]
YOU'RE A FINE LITTLE FELLA.
SEE, HERE'S THE -- THE THING --
I'M WORKING UNDERCOVER. THERE WAS THIS WOMAN --
EDNA CORUTHERS -- SHE WAS KILLED ON THE LOADING DOCK,
AND I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREMEDITATED.
[ BARKING ]
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
HEY.
WHERE'S ADRIAN?
I DON'T KNOW. HE SAID HE'D MEET US HERE.
SO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
SURE.
GOT THAT INFORMATION YOU WANTED ON JENNIE SILVERMAN.
HER ADULT RECORD WAS CLEAN,
BUT SHE SPENT SOME TIME IN JUVIE.
UH, AGE 15, SHE HAD MINOR-LEAGUE POSSESSION
AND TRESPASSING,
AND AT AGE 16, SHE STOLE A CAR.
I THOUGHT JUVENILE RECORDS WERE SEALED.
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S A CLERK DOWNTOWN NAMED NED
WHO HAS FOUR CATS AND LIVES WITH HIS MOM,
AND HE BOUGHT ME A DRINK.
I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH.
MONK WAS RIGHT. YOU ARE GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU HAVE HIS BACK.
TAKE CARE OF HIM.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHAT WAS HE LIKE AS A COP?
I REMEMBER THE DAY WE MET.
I WALKED DOWN THE HALL TO SHAKE HIS HAND --
THIS WAS, YOU KNOW, BACK WHEN HE WAS SHAKING HANDS.
AND THERE WERE SEVEN DETECTIVES LINED UP OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE
JUST WAITING TO RUN CASES BY HIM,
JUST TO SEE WHAT HE THOUGHT, JUST TO PICK HIS BRAIN.
I LEARNED MORE FROM ADRIAN MONK IN TWO DAYS
THAN I DID IN THE TWO YEARS THAT I WAS AT THE ACADEMY.
HA HA.
WERE YOU THERE WHEN TRUDY...
YEAH, YEAH, I WAS THERE WHEN HE GOT THE CALL.
HE WAS LAUGHING WHEN THE PHONE RANG,
AND HE NEVER LAUGHED AGAIN.
WHERE IS HE?
THE LAST I SAW HIM, HE WAS IN THE SHOE DEPARTMENT
PUTTING BOXES AWAY. HE'S PUTTING BOXES AWAY?
YEAH.
OH, GOD.
I THINK WE BETTER START ORDERING.
HA HA HA.
[ DOG BARKING ]
[ TOY SQUEAKS ]
[ GROWLS ]
[ SNARLING AND BARKING ]
[ WHINES ]
[ BARKING ]
[ CELLULAR PHONE RINGS ]
OH, IT'S THE STORE.
WELL, ASK HIM WHAT'S KEEPING HIM.
HELLO?
[ BARKING ]
RANDY?
WHAT THE HELL IS --
[ BARKING ]
COME ON. WHAT?
COME ON.
[ DOG BARKING ]
HEY!
OVER HERE! OVER HERE, HUH?
HUH? FRESH MEAT.
FRESH MEAT! COME ON! COME ON!
ARE YOU OKAY?
SURE. I THINK SO.
JOE, ARE YOU OKAY?
I'LL LIVE.
HE MUST HAVE GOT OUT OF THE LOADING DOCK.
OR MAYBE SOMEBODY LET HIM OUT.
THANK YOU.
FORGET IT.
HEY...
HE SAVED YOUR LIFE.
MAYBE YOU CAN RETURN THE FAVOR.
SO YOU TWO ARE PALS AGAIN?
I JUST --
I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
HE IS A DIRTY COP, MONK.
MAYBE. MAYBE.
ARE YOU WEARING COLOGNE?
YEAH, CRYSTAL GOT IT FOR ME.
HEY, CAPTAIN, YOU EVER MET CRYSTAL?
NO, I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE.
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT TO DINNER LAST WEEK,
BUT SHE CANCELED AT THE LAST MINUTE.
SHE WASN'T FEELING WELL.
MM-HMM.
MAYBE YOU BLEW HER UP TOO MUCH.
SHE'S NOT A BALLOON.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE'S A LIVING, BREATHING WALLET MODEL.
HERE WE GO.
INTERNAL AFFAIRS DIVISION, CASE NUMBER 922.
DETECTIVE LIEUTENANT JOSEPH CHRISTIE.
WHAT'S -- WHAT'S THIS?
THAT, MY FRIEND, IS THE EVIDENCE ROOM.
BIN NUMBER FOUR -- THAT'S WHERE YOUR PAL SAID
THAT HE PUT ALL OF THE COCAINE.
AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, BIN NUMBER FOUR IS EMPTY.
OKAY, WAIT. SOME OF THESE ITEMS
WERE SOLD AT A POLICE AUCTION A FEW DAYS LATER?
THAT'S ROUTINE.
THREE TELEVISIONS, ONE BOY'S BICYCLE,
TWO COMPUTERS.
SO?
WAIT.
WAIT. LOOK.
LOOK.
LOOK AT THIS BICYCLE.
WELL, THAT'S A GIRL'S BIKE. THERE'S NO METAL BAR.
BUT WHEN IT WAS SOLD
TWO DAYS LATER,
IT WAS A BOY'S BIKE.
SOMEBODY ADDED THAT METAL TUBE.
DO WE KNOW WHO BOUGHT THAT BOY'S BIKE?
YEAH, IT'S RIGHT HERE.
ITEM 422, BOY'S BIKE, SOLD TO CLARA TOPLIN.
TOPLIN.
CLARA TOPLIN USED TO BE THE PROPERTIES CLERK HERE.
SHE QUIT ABOUT FOUR YEARS AGO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S FOUR YEARS OLD, BUT THE RESIDUE'S STILL THERE.
IT TESTS POSITIVE FOR COCAINE HYDROCHLORIDE.
GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN RID OF THE BIKE, CLARA.
I WAS SAVING IT FOR MY GRANDSON.
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
JOE...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S A GOOD START.
COME ON.
YOU DON'T WANT TO WIPE THAT OFF?
NO.
I DON'T.
LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.
WELL, THIS WILL COME AS NO BIG SURPRISE TO ANYBODY,
BUT OUR EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT MONTH IS --
DRUM ROLL, PLEASE. HA HA.
IT'S JENNIE SILVERMAN.
WELL DONE, JENNIE.
AND AS WINNER, JENNIE WILL ENJOY
ANOTHER MONTH OF SPECIAL PRIVILEGES --
THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH PARKING SPOT
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MAIN ENTRANCE,
OF COURSE, THE MEGA-MART MUG,
THE, UH, GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR DINNER FOR TWO
AT THE LOBSTER BARREL ON 17th STREET.
GOOD ONLY ON WEEKDAYS AND DOES NOT INCLUDE LOBSTER.
AND THE WINNER'S PLAQUE,
WHICH WILL BE ON DISPLAY RIGHT AT THE MAIN ENTRANCE
FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH,
WHICH SHOULD INSPIRE ALL OF US
TO REACH DEEP INSIDE US
SO WE CAN FIND THE BEST INSIDE US
SO WE CAN DO THE BEST.
HA.
WELL SAID.
DIDN'T EDNA DIE AT THE END OF LAST MONTH?
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
Donovan: HERE WE GO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FOUND THIS.
THIS IS
THE PERFORMANCE CHART FROM LAST MONTH.
SEE, EDNA WAS OUT FRONT. SHE WOULD HAVE WON.
YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING
THAT SOMEBODY WAS KILLED BECAUSE OF THIS.
YOU'RE SAYING JENNIE SILVERMAN COMMITTED COLD-BLOODED MURDER
JUST SO SHE COULD BE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH?
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
AS EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, SHE GETS A CERAMIC MUG,
DINNER FOR TWO
AT THE WORLD-FAMOUS LOBSTER BARREL,
AND A PLAQUE.
AND, OF COURSE, THE THANKS OF A GRATEFUL NATION.
HA HA HA.
DO YOU REALLY THINK
THERE'S SOMETHING HERE WORTH KILLING FOR?
OH, YES. IT'S HERE.
WE JUST CAN'T SEE IT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK EDNA WAS OBVIOUSLY KILLED FOR THIS MUG.
REALLY? NO.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S MADE OUT OF GOLD AND PAINTED OVER.
JOE... [ MUG CLINKS ]
HEY, YOU SAID TRY 300 THEORIES UNTIL ONE FITS.
I SAID THAT?
YEAH, I REMEMBER EVERYTHING YOU EVER SAID, GOD HELP ME.
IT WASN'T ABOUT THE MUG.
WHAT'S NEXT?
DINNER FOR TWO AT THE LOBSTER BARREL.
TELL ME ABOUT THE LOBSTER BARREL.
IT'S A FAMILY PLACE.
IT'S NOISY, THERE'S A MILLION KIDS.
YOU WOULDN'T LAST FIVE MINUTES THERE.
IT'S GOT A GREAT ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET
WITH SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF SHRIMP.
THEY GOT JUMBO SHRIMP, BATTER-DIPPED SHRIMP,
TEMPURA SHRIMP --
OKAY, STOP TELLING ME ABOUT THE LOBSTER BARREL.
BARBECUE SHRIMP -- STOP.
WHAT'S NEXT?
89-CENT PLASTIC COMMEMORATIVE PLAQUE.
WOULD YOU KILL SOMEBODY TO GET THIS?
I'D KILL SOMEBODY NOT TO GET IT.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHAT SHE GETS.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR THE PARKING SPACE.
THERE IT IS.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
WHAT, THE SPEED BUMP?
TRUCKS ARE ALWAYS SCRAPING IT WHEN THEY'RE LOADED DOWN.
I SAW JENNIE'S VAN SCRAPE IT TWO DAYS AGO.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'VE SEEN IT, TOO.
BUT THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER,
IN THE MORNING,
THE VAN DIDN'T SCRAPE AT ALL.
YOU REMEMBER A VEHICLE
DAMN, I'VE MISSED YOU.
HER VAN IS ALWAYS HEAVIER AT THE END OF THE DAY. WHY?
IT'S LOADED DOWN.
WITH WHAT?
OH, MY GOD.
DO YOU REMEMBER HER TWO FRIENDS?
THEY WERE BUYING SHOVELS AND DRILL BITS.
THERE'S A SEWER GRATE RIGHT UNDER THE VAN.
IT WAS LOADED DOWN WITH DIRT.
THEY'RE DIGGING INTO THE VAULT. THEY'RE ROBBING THE BANK.
SHE WANTED THAT PARKING SPACE.
THAT'S WHAT THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN ABOUT.
MONK, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
MR. DONOVAN, WHERE'S JENNIE?
NEVER MIND JENNIE. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HOUSEWARES.
THERE'S INVENTORY PILED UP --
THIS IS POLICE BUSINESS. MY PARTNER ASKED YOU A QUESTION.
[ RUMBLING ]
WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE?
THEY BLEW THE VAULT. IT'S GOING DOWN NOW.
THAT MAKES SENSE. FIRST OF THE MONTH.
THE BANK'S PROBABLY LOADED WITH CASH.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'LL CALL IT IN.
NO, NO, NO. THEY'LL NEVER MAKE IT IN TIME.
JOE, I NEED A GUN.
SPORTING GOODS, AISLE SEVEN.
GUN?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE? LET'S GO, GO, GO!
HEY!
HEY, RONNIE, RONNIE.
YES? LISTEN TO ME.
NO, MAN, HE'S RONNIE.
YEAH, WE SWITCHED NAME TAGS
TO SEE IF ANYBODY WOULD NOTICE.
BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE,
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE AN EXPERIMENT, SO --
I'M IN A RUSH HERE. I NEED A GUN.
OH, YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO USE YOUR EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT, HUH?
ALL RIGHT, MR. MONK, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WE GOT THESE --
I DON'T CARE! JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING.
LOOK, IT'S A POLICE EMERGENCY.
I'LL BRING IT RIGHT BACK.
I JUST NEED IT FOR TWO MINUTES, OKAY?
YEAH, THAT'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM,
'CAUSE THAT'S AGAINST, LIKE,
A MILLION FEDERAL LAWS AND REGULATIONS.
YEAH, THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, A WAITING PERIOD OR SOMETHING.
PLEASE -- NO, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'LL GET YOU STARTED ON YOUR PAPERWORK.
NO PAPERWORK. NO, NO, NO -- NO PAPER--
NO, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
IT'S --
STAY OFF THE GLASS THERE. I JUST WASHED THAT.
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?
THIS STUFF'S HEAVY.
GOOD.
GOOD. HEAVY'S GOOD.
IF IT WAS UP TO US, DUDE, YOU COULD TOTALLY HAVE IT,
BUT, UH, MR. DONOVAN'S BEEN RIDING US A LOT LATELY.
YEAH, LIKE YESTERDAY, WHEN WE WERE IN HOUSEWARES --
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S JENNIE SILVERMAN!
SHE'S GETTING AWAY.
OH. OH, IT'S FOR JENNIE?
HA HA HA HA.
YEAH, WE BOTH HAD THE SAME THOUGHT.
JENNIE'S A REAL TOOL.
YEAH, BUT, MAN, THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER.
WHOA!
MORRIS...
HE'S MORRIS.
RONNIE...
GIVE ME THE AMMO.
OKAY, OKAY. CALM DOWN, MAN.
YO, IT WASN'T EVEN LOADED.
I QUIT.
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
IT'S LOADED!
Man: GET BACK!
LOUD.
Man: GET OUT OF THE CAR!
AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE!
PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! HANDS UP!
HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD, YOU IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT!
DETECTIVE JOE CHRISTIE,
WELCOME BACK.
WE COULD SURE USE YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU, BROTHER.
I WOULDN'T BE HERE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.
YOU'LL BE NEXT.
SHE'S RIGHT.
AND WHEN YOU MAKE IT BACK,
I GET TO RIDE WITH YOU.
HEY! SHARONA, CAPTAIN, EVERYONE,
COULD YOU ALL COME WITH ME, PLEASE?
EVERYBODY, COME HERE.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU GUYS SOMETHING.
Stottlemeyer: WHAT IS IT?
CRYSTAL. SHE'S DOWNSTAIRS.
Sharona: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER TO COME UP HERE?
SHE COULDN'T STAY.
SHE'S FLYING TO ARUBA FOR A PHOTO SHOOT.
Sharona: SO SAD.
THERE SHE IS. Monk: WHERE?
IN THE TAXI.
HEY! CRYSTAL!
IT'S SO PATHETIC...
AH, SHE'S WAVING.
GOODBYE, RANDY! I LOVE YOU!
I MISS YOU ALREADY.
SEE?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? SHE'S RIGHT HERE!
WHAT?
OH, COME ON. SHE WAS JUST --
I SWEAR TO GOD, SHE WAS JUST HERE!
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY O.C.P.I. PRODUCTIONS, INC.