1 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:23,882 ♪ On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ♪ 2 00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:29,388 ♪ Five golden kegs ♪ 3 00:00:29,471 --> 00:00:31,723 ♪ 4/5 of nighttrain ♪ 4 00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,517 ♪ Three shots of bourbon ♪ 5 00:00:33,725 --> 00:00:35,436 ♪ Two more shots of bourbon ♪ 6 00:00:35,561 --> 00:00:40,941 ♪ And a bathtub full of grey goose ♪ 7 00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:44,903 ♪ Vodka ♪ 8 00:00:44,987 --> 00:00:47,239 [LAUGHTER] 9 00:00:47,406 --> 00:00:48,740 That was pretty damn good. 10 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,534 That was better than good. 11 00:00:50,576 --> 00:00:52,161 That was sensational. 12 00:00:52,244 --> 00:00:53,787 Ah. 13 00:00:53,871 --> 00:00:56,707 Oh, an empty bottle. 14 00:00:56,874 --> 00:00:58,125 The saddest sight in the world. 15 00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,352 THE PROFESSOR: Where's Willie? 16 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:02,212 - He's always got a little money. - He left like 20 minutes ago. 17 00:01:02,754 --> 00:01:03,755 He run and looking for bottles. 18 00:01:03,941 --> 00:01:05,674 - Collecting bottles, huh? - For redeemables. 19 00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:07,634 [SCREAMING] 20 00:01:10,053 --> 00:01:12,222 Help! Somebody! 21 00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:14,933 Help! 22 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,935 Help! 23 00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:19,813 Oh, there he is. 24 00:01:19,855 --> 00:01:22,357 Hey, Willie! Willie, hello! 25 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:24,610 [INDISTINCT GREETINGS] 26 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,199 You gotta help me. Call the police. 27 00:01:30,282 --> 00:01:31,116 Someone's after me. 28 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:32,576 - What'd you do? - Nothing! 29 00:01:32,784 --> 00:01:34,203 Some guy, he started chasing me! 30 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,954 I think he's trying to kill me. 31 00:01:36,205 --> 00:01:37,706 Ain't nobody there. 32 00:01:37,781 --> 00:01:39,917 - He's got the willies. - Willie got the willies. 33 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,627 [LAUGHTER] 34 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,170 WILLIE: Oh, hell, there he is! 35 00:01:43,295 --> 00:01:45,339 - You're being paranoid. - Maybe I am. 36 00:01:45,547 --> 00:01:47,883 I ain't sticking around to find out. 37 00:01:48,634 --> 00:01:49,968 Hey, you forgot one! 38 00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,637 [LAUGHTER] 39 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,222 Run, Willie, run! 40 00:01:53,305 --> 00:01:55,098 ALL: Run, Willie, run! 41 00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:06,944 Willie! 42 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,028 Willie! 43 00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:09,446 Where you at? 44 00:02:09,571 --> 00:02:11,156 It's us! 45 00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:13,367 Here's his cart. 46 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,456 [BANGING METAL] 47 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,476 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 48 00:02:40,978 --> 00:02:43,313 ♪ It's a jungle out there ♪ 49 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:46,441 ♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪ 50 00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,153 ♪ No one seems to care ♪ 51 00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:51,321 ♪ Well, I do ♪ 52 00:02:51,446 --> 00:02:54,283 ♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪ 53 00:02:54,366 --> 00:02:56,577 ♪ It's a jungle out there ♪ 54 00:02:58,036 --> 00:03:01,164 ♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪ 55 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,792 ♪ Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪ 56 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:08,046 ♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪ 57 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,300 ♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪ 58 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,552 ♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried, too ♪ 59 00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:18,682 ♪ You better pay attention, or this world we love so much ♪ 60 00:03:18,974 --> 00:03:22,436 ♪ Might just kill you ♪ 61 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,396 ♪ I could be wrong now ♪ 62 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,815 ♪ But I don't think so ♪ 63 00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:29,484 ♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪ 64 00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:31,903 ♪ It's a jungle out there ♪ 65 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,165 Is that your tree? 66 00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,625 Uh-huh. 67 00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:45,876 It's cardboard. 68 00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:48,253 Right. No muss, no fuss. 69 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,255 A lot of people are doing it. 70 00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:51,673 Who? 71 00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:53,216 People... 72 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,052 You know, who are me. 73 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,640 What do you think? 74 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,475 I think it's sad. 75 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:03,852 Well, I know it's sad. I mean, is it straight? 76 00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:05,771 Christmas doesn't mean anything to you? 77 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,064 Not anymore. 78 00:04:07,272 --> 00:04:09,274 Why don't you believe in anything, Mr. Monk? 79 00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:10,817 What are you so afraid of? 80 00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:12,110 I'll tell you what I think. 81 00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:13,904 I think Mr. Monk has been afraid of so many things 82 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,239 for so many years, he's afraid of not being afraid. 83 00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:17,866 - What does that mean? - Think about it. 84 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,618 I'm afraid to. 85 00:04:19,785 --> 00:04:21,161 Honey, will you try this? This is chicken soup. 86 00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:22,704 - It's for the captain. - What's wrong with him? 87 00:04:22,913 --> 00:04:24,539 Oh, he's very, very sick. 88 00:04:24,623 --> 00:04:26,124 It's been three or four weeks now. 89 00:04:26,291 --> 00:04:27,793 Yeah, he's got some sort of arthritis. 90 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,086 He can barely walk. 91 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,380 Mm, it's perfect. He's gonna love it. 92 00:04:31,588 --> 00:04:32,923 I'm really worried about him. 93 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,175 I mean, I've known him for 15... 94 00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,094 Is that my ladle? 95 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,096 Is that a problem? 96 00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:40,430 No, it's fine. 97 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,057 - Help yourself. - [DOORBELL RINGS] 98 00:04:42,224 --> 00:04:43,350 I'll get it. 99 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:44,976 Wait, I... May I? 100 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,187 I just thought of something I want for Christmas. 101 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,856 A new ladle. 102 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,775 And a lock for my utensil drawer. 103 00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:54,820 Uh, Mr. Monk, these men want to talk to you. 104 00:04:55,654 --> 00:04:57,030 Oh, my God. 105 00:04:57,239 --> 00:04:59,032 Hello. Are you Mr. Monk, the detective? 106 00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:00,784 Oh, my God. 107 00:05:00,951 --> 00:05:01,827 THE PROFESSOR: That's ike. 108 00:05:03,078 --> 00:05:05,914 That's Reggie. And they call me The Professor. 109 00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:07,290 We asked around. 110 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,959 And they says you was the best. 111 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,544 I'm sorry. I can't help you. 112 00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:12,045 I'm retired. 113 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,547 As of when? 114 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,882 As of "Hello, are you Mr. Monk?" 115 00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:19,094 He's not retired. He's joking, he's joking. 116 00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:21,304 So would you guys like to have a seat? 117 00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,764 No, no, no! 118 00:05:22,848 --> 00:05:24,015 No, that couch doesn't work. 119 00:05:24,266 --> 00:05:25,726 None of these chairs... 120 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,436 Hey, I have an idea. 121 00:05:27,519 --> 00:05:29,646 Uh, why don't we all stand on some newspaper? 122 00:05:29,855 --> 00:05:31,481 Julie, go get some newspaper. 123 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:33,734 Everybody hold it in until we get some newspaper, okay? 124 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,026 Hold what in? 125 00:05:35,099 --> 00:05:36,692 What do you think we're gonna do? 126 00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:38,864 I don't know. I don't know. Just hold it in. Hold it. 127 00:05:38,989 --> 00:05:40,574 Can we do anything for you gentlemen? 128 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,952 Last night, a friend of ours was killed. 129 00:05:44,327 --> 00:05:46,580 And we want to hire Mr. Monk to investigate. 130 00:05:46,788 --> 00:05:48,039 [STAMMERING] 131 00:05:48,123 --> 00:05:49,458 Did you talk to the police? 132 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,042 They didn't really listen, ma'am. 133 00:05:51,126 --> 00:05:52,586 They said it was an accident. 134 00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,671 And that Willie... That's his name... 135 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,798 He climbed into an old refrigerator 136 00:05:56,882 --> 00:05:59,009 to stay warm, closed the door, 137 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,218 and then suffocated. 138 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,387 - Accidents. - But you don't think so. 139 00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:04,806 IKE: Last night, he said that someone was after him. 140 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:06,892 Said someone was chasing him. 141 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,351 But we didn't believe him. 142 00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:10,145 - Delusional. - We got money. 143 00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:14,316 You can redeem these anywhere. 144 00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:16,318 It comes to $14. 145 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,987 My God! 146 00:06:19,154 --> 00:06:20,489 REGGIE: So what you think? 147 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,991 Uh, you know, Mr. Monk and I are gonna mull that one over, 148 00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:24,910 but in the meantime, are you guys hungry? 149 00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:26,495 I just made some soup. I have a whole pot. 150 00:06:26,578 --> 00:06:28,622 Oh, we'd appreciate it, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. 151 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,124 Na... Ja... Excuse me. 152 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,084 Excu... 153 00:06:35,837 --> 00:06:37,297 Stay. Stay. 154 00:06:37,506 --> 00:06:39,424 Stay right where you are. 155 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,343 Stay! Stay. 156 00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:42,844 Stay. 157 00:06:44,387 --> 00:06:46,765 What are you doing? You're not really gonna feed them. 158 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,350 Of course I'm feeding them. They're hungry. 159 00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,101 Oh, Natalie, Natalie, 160 00:06:50,185 --> 00:06:51,770 I-I can't take this job. 161 00:06:51,853 --> 00:06:53,021 Please don't make me take this job. 162 00:06:53,104 --> 00:06:54,815 Mr. Monk, you have to help these men. 163 00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:56,233 Okay, here it comes. 164 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,859 Number one, they have nowhere else to go. 165 00:06:57,943 --> 00:07:00,737 Number two, they collected cans and bottles to pay your salary. 166 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,906 That's every nickel they have in the world. 167 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,992 When was the last time a client offered you every nickel they had? 168 00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:08,078 Excuse me. Throwing this away? 169 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:10,121 You know what, it's all yours. You keep it. 170 00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,832 Oh, what is this, marble? 171 00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,083 [GRUNTING] I don't know. 172 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,709 I don't know. Maybe. 173 00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:17,003 Yeah, maybe. Maybe it is. 174 00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:19,422 Okay, okay, okay, fine. 175 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,383 Fine, fine, don't, don't, don't touch anything. 176 00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:22,884 You know what? 177 00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:24,553 Let's take a look at the crime scene. 178 00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:25,720 Here we go. 179 00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:26,972 Everybody outside. 180 00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:28,932 Right. Show me the crime scene. 181 00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,767 Out... Outside. 182 00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:36,356 We waited for him all night! 183 00:07:36,565 --> 00:07:38,275 Never came back! 184 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,443 So we were looking for him, you know, 185 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:41,778 like a search party! 186 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,029 Right there! 187 00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:45,866 We found his shopping cart right over there! 188 00:07:45,991 --> 00:07:47,534 Can you even see from there? 189 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,037 I'm fine. Is that the refrigerator? 190 00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:52,205 Huh? 191 00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:53,623 MONK: Is that the refrigerator? 192 00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:54,624 What? 193 00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:56,418 Is that the refrigerator? 194 00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:57,544 Yes, sir. 195 00:07:57,627 --> 00:07:59,296 And then we noticed a piece of clothing... 196 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,256 part of his jacket sticking out. 197 00:08:01,423 --> 00:08:03,675 Protruding, as it were. 198 00:08:03,758 --> 00:08:05,510 So we opened it. 199 00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:09,431 He was kinda stuffed in there. 200 00:08:09,514 --> 00:08:10,807 Face-first. 201 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:12,893 He was facing away from you? 202 00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,437 Did you tell that to the police? 203 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,731 Yeah, but they don't listen to us, man. 204 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,316 We're, like, invisible to them. 205 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:20,525 What'd he say? 206 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,152 - What? - We're like inv... 207 00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:24,446 They don't see us! 208 00:08:24,654 --> 00:08:26,406 - So then what happened? - IKE: He fell out! 209 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:29,075 Backwards! 210 00:08:29,498 --> 00:08:30,535 Plop! 211 00:08:51,222 --> 00:08:52,349 What is it? 212 00:08:52,641 --> 00:08:54,976 There's only one handprint. 213 00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:57,228 He wasn't clawing around. 214 00:08:58,188 --> 00:09:00,023 He wasn't panicking. 215 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,777 He was already dead. 216 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,573 No, no, no, I'm not signing off on this 217 00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:10,450 till I talk to the D.A. 218 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,577 What was the victim's name again? 219 00:09:12,661 --> 00:09:14,162 Willie T. That's what they called him. 220 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,622 But nobody knew his real name. 221 00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,540 The medical examiner rubberstamped it, 222 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,084 but we just came from the crime scene. 223 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,377 Randy, it is all wrong. 224 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,796 I think somebody put him in that refrigerator. 225 00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:24,714 We talked to his bum friends. 226 00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:26,533 His friends. Not his bum friends. 227 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,010 - The ne'er-do-wells. - They're homeless individuals. 228 00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,012 They said somebody was chasing him last night. 229 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,305 Okay. 230 00:09:32,389 --> 00:09:33,723 Well, we'll reopen the case. 231 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,016 I'll call the M.E. myself. 232 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,935 - Just like that? - Yeah, just like that. 233 00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,980 Oh, Diaz, Diaz, is that the revised affidavit? 234 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,731 - Uh, I think so. - Yeah, let's see. 235 00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,818 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 236 00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:46,653 Good, make sure this gets to Judge Barr, 237 00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:48,154 not Judge Coleman. 238 00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:49,322 Yes, sir. 239 00:09:49,406 --> 00:09:50,365 Rookies. 240 00:09:50,448 --> 00:09:52,492 Wow, Randy, you really are in charge. 241 00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:53,952 Yeah, well, when the captain got sick, 242 00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:55,354 somebody had to step up. 243 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,454 How's he doing? 244 00:09:56,538 --> 00:09:57,998 We've been trying to call him, but he doesn't answer. 245 00:09:58,123 --> 00:09:59,749 - Well, that's because he's here. - He's here? 246 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:00,959 He's downstairs on the front desk. 247 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,003 He said he couldn't stand just sitting around his house. 248 00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:04,170 Is he okay? 249 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:05,714 He got here last night, and he won't go home. 250 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,674 It's like he's trying to prove something, 251 00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:09,592 and it's not just his back. 252 00:10:09,884 --> 00:10:11,553 He's in a bad place right now. 253 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,555 Mm. 254 00:10:13,638 --> 00:10:15,849 So, Mrs. Parisi... 255 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,394 Let me get this straight. 256 00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:21,068 You filed a complaint 2 1/2 weeks ago, 257 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,689 you said somebody vandalized your house. 258 00:10:22,772 --> 00:10:23,773 That's right. 259 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:26,901 You said you thought some teenagers painted this thing on your front door. 260 00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:28,695 MRS. PARISI: This is not a thing. 261 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,280 It's a fountain. 262 00:10:30,447 --> 00:10:31,614 Okay. 263 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:35,035 So some teenagers painted this fountain on your front door 264 00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:36,536 and now you want to withdraw the complaint. 265 00:10:36,619 --> 00:10:37,412 That's right. 266 00:10:37,579 --> 00:10:40,498 It wasn't teenagers. I know that now. 267 00:10:40,665 --> 00:10:42,083 It was God. 268 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,797 It was a sign from God. 269 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,969 God drew a little picture on your front door. 270 00:10:53,178 --> 00:10:54,387 It was a miracle. 271 00:10:54,471 --> 00:10:55,972 Last summer I couldn't breathe. 272 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,974 - My lungs were burning. - She couldn't breathe. 273 00:10:58,183 --> 00:10:59,476 We went to three different doctors. 274 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,020 And then I heard on the news about the fountain 275 00:11:02,187 --> 00:11:04,064 at the Franklin Park Monastery. 276 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,231 They look just like this. 277 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,566 It was this fountain. 278 00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,611 - And when she drank from it... - I was cured. 279 00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,237 She's eating again. 280 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,864 She can sleep. 281 00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:14,783 - It's a miracle. - It's a miracle. 282 00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,826 - It's a miracle. - It's a miracle. 283 00:11:17,869 --> 00:11:19,829 Write that down. "It's a miracle." 284 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,664 Yeah. 285 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,932 You walk me through this again? 286 00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:24,042 One more time. 287 00:11:24,626 --> 00:11:26,544 Oh, there he is. 288 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,129 MONK: Hey. 289 00:11:28,338 --> 00:11:29,756 How you doing? 290 00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,132 I feel like I look. 291 00:11:31,216 --> 00:11:32,467 NATALIE: Oh, God, back problems are the worst. 292 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,968 What did the doctor say? 293 00:11:34,052 --> 00:11:35,136 [GROANS] 294 00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:36,346 I got five doctors. 295 00:11:36,513 --> 00:11:38,181 And they haven't got a clue. 296 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,809 They've got me on three different medications. 297 00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,803 I've tried everything. Even this crap. 298 00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,271 - What is it? - I don't know. 299 00:11:45,355 --> 00:11:47,899 It's some sort of organic, hippie concoction from hell. 300 00:11:48,066 --> 00:11:50,276 My aunt sent me a whole carton of it. 301 00:11:51,736 --> 00:11:52,987 [GAGS] 302 00:11:53,071 --> 00:11:54,364 Ugh, it tastes like chalk. 303 00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:55,907 What's in it? 304 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,326 Chalk extract... 305 00:11:58,409 --> 00:12:00,370 Captain, why don't you just head on home? 306 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,956 - We got things covered here. - Oh, no, I can't go home. 307 00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:04,874 Look at all those open cases. 308 00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:07,585 Actually, these ones are all cleared. 309 00:12:07,669 --> 00:12:09,504 We were nine for nine this week. 310 00:12:10,672 --> 00:12:12,465 Nine for nine. 311 00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,009 Good job. 312 00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:17,053 I guess I'll just go home. 313 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:18,930 Not that anybody would notice. 314 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,515 You think you'll be okay? 315 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,891 I'm fine. 316 00:12:22,016 --> 00:12:24,352 Except for the alimony I can't afford, 317 00:12:24,435 --> 00:12:26,938 I haven't had a date in two... two years, 318 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:30,733 and my son... my oldest boy Jared is not talking to me. 319 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,569 He's with his mother. 320 00:12:32,861 --> 00:12:35,446 He doesn't even pick up the phone. 321 00:12:36,281 --> 00:12:37,740 Merry Christmas. 322 00:13:38,176 --> 00:13:40,303 Was there a sign on your house? 323 00:13:41,512 --> 00:13:43,473 - Yeah. - Me too. 324 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,391 I was the first one here. 325 00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:47,185 I was in a car accident last year. 326 00:13:47,268 --> 00:13:49,437 I busted my hip. They said I'd never walk again. 327 00:13:50,521 --> 00:13:53,900 Five weeks ago, the sign appeared on my garage door. 328 00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:55,485 It said, "drink." 329 00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:56,945 Drink? 330 00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:59,197 Two days later, I was on a tour group with my church. 331 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,531 We stopped here. 332 00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:02,367 And there it was. 333 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,035 So I drank. 334 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,496 And... 335 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,581 The doctor says it's a miracle. 336 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,041 I think he's right. 337 00:14:10,124 --> 00:14:11,626 I've been telling everyone. 338 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,128 I even went on the 6:00 news, you know. 339 00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:16,297 To spread the word. 340 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,840 Okay. 341 00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:30,853 You're not a believer. I can tell. 342 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,731 Believe me, I was a lot more skeptical than you. 343 00:14:33,815 --> 00:14:34,816 We all were. 344 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,734 So what do you do? 345 00:14:36,818 --> 00:14:38,444 You're selling tickets? You got a gift shop? 346 00:14:38,528 --> 00:14:41,239 [LAUGHING] No. There's no gimmick here, my friend. 347 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,032 Nobody's making a nickel on this. 348 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,325 In fact, we're losing money. 349 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:46,494 We were planning to build some classrooms 350 00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:48,079 right where we're standing. 351 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,872 And now? 352 00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,625 Well, we can't build here now. This is sacred ground. 353 00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:55,295 Mm. 354 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,380 Are you a man of faith? 355 00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:01,009 Um, I was an altar boy, and I thought 356 00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:03,052 I wanted to be a priest when I was a kid. 357 00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:04,554 It's never too late. 358 00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:07,974 It's not a one-way street. You can always go back. 359 00:15:10,935 --> 00:15:12,520 Take a leap. 360 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:50,892 $13.85. 361 00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,895 It was supposed to be $14. 362 00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,396 I counted $14. 363 00:15:55,605 --> 00:15:57,440 These three bottles are from Canada. 364 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:58,941 We can't accept them. 365 00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,403 All set? 366 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,072 The bums ripped me off. 367 00:16:04,155 --> 00:16:05,406 Canadian bottles. 368 00:16:05,490 --> 00:16:07,408 Aw, why don't you just fly up to Vancouver? 369 00:16:07,492 --> 00:16:08,576 You can redeem 'em there. 370 00:16:08,785 --> 00:16:09,911 Fly up to Vancouver? 371 00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:10,995 You know how much that would cost? 372 00:16:11,245 --> 00:16:13,498 I mean, the taxi ride to the airport alone... 373 00:16:14,332 --> 00:16:16,167 I get it. You're joking. 374 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,752 - [LAUGHS] - Okay, what's this? 375 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,254 - Flowers for the captain. - No, I mean these. 376 00:16:20,338 --> 00:16:22,173 Utensils. New plates. 377 00:16:22,256 --> 00:16:23,383 Didn't I mention? 378 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:25,802 I invited a few friends to your place for Christmas dinner. 379 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,053 I don't have any friends. 380 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,679 Well, they're not really friends. 381 00:16:28,763 --> 00:16:29,931 They're really more clients. 382 00:16:30,139 --> 00:16:33,601 Well, I don't have any clients except the bums. 383 00:16:33,935 --> 00:16:35,561 [CLEARS THROAT] 384 00:16:37,355 --> 00:16:40,566 I said, I don't have any clients except for the bums. 385 00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:43,820 OWEN MCCLOSKEY: Captain Stottlemeyer! 386 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,364 Feeling better? 387 00:16:47,365 --> 00:16:48,616 Not really. 388 00:16:48,825 --> 00:16:51,077 My brother-in-law had a bad back. 389 00:16:51,285 --> 00:16:52,245 You know what fixed it? 390 00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,163 - What? - Acupuncture. 391 00:16:54,288 --> 00:16:55,581 He swears by it. 392 00:16:55,706 --> 00:16:57,417 Been there. Done that. 393 00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:58,960 I've tried everything. 394 00:16:59,168 --> 00:17:01,003 I've tried crystals, acupuncture, 395 00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:03,256 this morning, I was at the monastery 396 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,466 in Franklin Park drinking water from the fountain. 397 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,635 Oh, yeah, it was on the news. 398 00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:09,595 - The miracle fountain. - Yeah. 399 00:17:09,679 --> 00:17:11,139 Any luck? 400 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,432 Not yet. 401 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,600 Well, maybe it's a time-release miracle. 402 00:17:14,851 --> 00:17:16,018 [CHUCKLES] 403 00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,728 Yeah, say, 404 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,565 are you a religious man? 405 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,150 Can't say that I am. 406 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,110 I only ask 'cause I saw the... 407 00:17:24,318 --> 00:17:25,820 OWEN: Oh, my ex-partner 408 00:17:25,987 --> 00:17:27,572 put that up the day we opened. 409 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,282 Real devil dodger. 410 00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:31,534 Used to go to church every week for years. 411 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:32,869 Rain or shine. 412 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:36,164 Till the day he embezzled $18,000 from me and disappeared. 413 00:17:36,247 --> 00:17:37,498 Of course. 414 00:17:37,707 --> 00:17:39,208 You got a partner? 415 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,252 [LAUGHING] Yes, I do. 416 00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,421 Be careful. That's all I can tell you. 417 00:17:43,504 --> 00:17:45,256 - Okay. - You're all set. 418 00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,216 - All right. - Merry Christmas. 419 00:17:47,425 --> 00:17:49,010 Okay, Merry Christmas. 420 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,517 - Good morning. - Good morning. 421 00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:57,977 Sorry I'm late. 422 00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,479 What's that? 423 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,689 I forgot the gravy for Monday night, the big dinner. 424 00:18:01,856 --> 00:18:03,566 You wasted a trip. 425 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,942 They make their own gravy. 426 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,819 Who makes their own gravy? 427 00:18:06,903 --> 00:18:08,196 Bums. 428 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:11,073 Bums make their own gravy. What does that even mean? 429 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,368 You don't wanna know. 430 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:18,331 [ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF] 431 00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:04,460 Heavenly father, as you know, life ain't easy for us. 432 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,587 But we know you're always there, 433 00:19:06,671 --> 00:19:08,422 watching over us. 434 00:19:08,506 --> 00:19:11,217 And we want to thank you for sending our new friends 435 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:14,428 Mr. Monk, Natalie, and Julie into our lives. 436 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,306 And may we remember our brothers and sisters 437 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,684 less fortunate than ourselves 438 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,394 in this season of giving. 439 00:19:21,602 --> 00:19:22,436 Amen. 440 00:19:22,645 --> 00:19:24,480 - Amen. - Amen. 441 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:27,149 Mm, this is good. 442 00:19:27,441 --> 00:19:29,110 This stuffing is delicious. 443 00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:31,153 Oh, thank you, it's my grandmother's recipe. 444 00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:33,823 I love this gravy. 445 00:19:34,156 --> 00:19:35,992 Usually we make our own, but... 446 00:19:36,284 --> 00:19:39,579 Excuse me, could you repeat that about the gravy? 447 00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:42,123 Mm. Usually we make our own. 448 00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:43,791 Huh. Isn't that interesting? 449 00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:45,209 Natalie, did you hear that? 450 00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:46,845 Yes. Yes, I did. 451 00:19:46,961 --> 00:19:48,588 Huh? Interesting. 452 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:04,312 So, um, why do they you call you The Professor? 453 00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:08,357 Julie, it's probably because he loves to read 454 00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:11,611 and probably because he's curious about the world 455 00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:13,195 and other cultures... 456 00:20:14,322 --> 00:20:16,282 I eat books. 457 00:20:16,991 --> 00:20:18,159 NATALIE: Oh. 458 00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:31,922 Excuse me. 459 00:20:32,256 --> 00:20:36,218 I'm just using my napkin to wipe away any food 460 00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:37,887 that might be on my face. 461 00:20:39,347 --> 00:20:41,015 I'm just wiping my face. 462 00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:42,391 It's fun. 463 00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:19,762 So how's our case coming? 464 00:21:19,929 --> 00:21:22,682 Actually, there's been some progress there. 465 00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:25,226 The medical examiner changed the cause of death. 466 00:21:25,309 --> 00:21:28,854 It wasn't an accident after all. Your friend was asphyxiated. 467 00:21:29,146 --> 00:21:30,356 He was drunk? 468 00:21:30,773 --> 00:21:34,610 No, no, no, no, he was suffocated. 469 00:21:34,735 --> 00:21:36,654 Probably with a plastic bag. 470 00:21:36,737 --> 00:21:39,115 It's good news, actually, 471 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,950 because now they'll reopen the case. 472 00:21:41,158 --> 00:21:43,160 Well, thank you for that, Mr. Monk. 473 00:21:43,244 --> 00:21:45,121 I mean, we really appreciate that. 474 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,373 It's the best 14 bucks we ever spent. 475 00:21:47,581 --> 00:21:50,376 Yeah, yeah, speaking of money, 476 00:21:50,584 --> 00:21:53,295 it wasn't exactly $14. 477 00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:55,548 You were a little short. 478 00:21:55,798 --> 00:21:57,216 Yeah, this... 479 00:21:58,467 --> 00:22:01,554 They wouldn't redeem these three bottles 480 00:22:01,804 --> 00:22:03,681 'cause they are from guess where? 481 00:22:03,764 --> 00:22:04,640 Canada. 482 00:22:04,772 --> 00:22:06,058 - Yeah. - [NATALIE CLEARS THROAT] 483 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,854 I mean, it's no big deal. 484 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:11,605 It's 15 cents. 485 00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,566 It's hardly worth mentioning, but... 486 00:22:18,028 --> 00:22:19,905 Chalk extract. 487 00:22:23,784 --> 00:22:25,119 Hey, Randy, have you seen the captain? 488 00:22:25,202 --> 00:22:26,287 We've been calling him all night. 489 00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:28,205 Well, he's not here. Why? What's going on? 490 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,957 You remember the homicide I was working? 491 00:22:30,090 --> 00:22:31,167 Yeah, homeless guy. 492 00:22:31,313 --> 00:22:32,918 Right. His name was Willie T. 493 00:22:33,002 --> 00:22:35,296 The night he was killed, he was out collecting bottles and cans. 494 00:22:35,379 --> 00:22:37,590 Yeah, remember that chalky herbal stuff the captain was drinking? 495 00:22:37,798 --> 00:22:39,675 There were three bottles of the same drink 496 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,635 in Willie's shopping cart. 497 00:22:41,844 --> 00:22:43,763 Which means that at some point that night 498 00:22:43,846 --> 00:22:45,848 he was in the captain's yard, right? 499 00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,477 Huh, that's interesting. 500 00:22:49,643 --> 00:22:51,228 Yeah, maybe the captain saw something, 501 00:22:51,312 --> 00:22:54,023 I mean, something unusual. 502 00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:55,107 What is that? 503 00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:56,567 What? 504 00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:57,526 On your face. 505 00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,528 On your lip. 506 00:23:00,029 --> 00:23:01,614 It looks a little bit like a moustache. 507 00:23:01,697 --> 00:23:04,116 Well, I'm in charge. It comes with the job. 508 00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:11,874 Okay, you're making me a little uncomfortable. 509 00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,793 You're making me a little uncomfortable. 510 00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,295 Anyways, guys, the captain's gone. 511 00:23:16,378 --> 00:23:17,713 You're too late. 512 00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:20,049 He came in yesterday, he grabbed some stuff, and he just left. 513 00:23:20,187 --> 00:23:22,760 - For how long? - He didn't say. 514 00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:12,393 I won't need these anymore. 515 00:24:19,108 --> 00:24:21,402 Uh, excuse me, what's going on? 516 00:24:21,652 --> 00:24:23,153 The fountain is blessed. 517 00:24:23,571 --> 00:24:25,197 Exodus 23. 518 00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:27,700 "And ye shall serve the lord your God. 519 00:24:27,950 --> 00:24:30,077 "And he shall bless thy bread and thy water. 520 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,329 And I will take the sickness from amidst thee." 521 00:24:32,997 --> 00:24:34,290 No kidding. 522 00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:36,458 We're looking for a friend of ours. 523 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,253 Uh, they found his car parked out front. 524 00:24:39,461 --> 00:24:41,255 I haven't seen him. Sorry. 525 00:24:43,966 --> 00:24:46,176 Mr. Monk, look at all these people. 526 00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:47,678 They really believe in it. 527 00:24:47,803 --> 00:24:50,097 Well, they're people. They'll believe anything. 528 00:24:50,514 --> 00:24:52,182 Mr. Monk, you should try it. 529 00:24:52,266 --> 00:24:53,726 You should drink from the fountain. 530 00:24:53,809 --> 00:24:55,019 You can't be serious. 531 00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:56,896 You're in so much pain all the time, you know? 532 00:24:56,979 --> 00:24:58,397 What if there's something to it? 533 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,357 You know? I mean, anything's possible. 534 00:25:00,441 --> 00:25:02,234 That's not exactly true. 535 00:25:02,318 --> 00:25:05,738 A lot of things are what we call impossible. 536 00:25:05,905 --> 00:25:07,740 - It's the opposite of possible. - I get it. 537 00:25:07,823 --> 00:25:09,241 I'll give you an example. 538 00:25:09,325 --> 00:25:11,160 Um, this. 539 00:25:13,162 --> 00:25:14,455 Hallelujah. 540 00:25:14,538 --> 00:25:17,625 Excuse me, we're looking for a friend of ours. 541 00:25:18,292 --> 00:25:19,209 Leland. 542 00:25:19,501 --> 00:25:20,586 He was here. 543 00:25:21,170 --> 00:25:22,212 He still is. 544 00:25:24,882 --> 00:25:26,634 Wow, it's beautiful. 545 00:25:26,717 --> 00:25:27,927 Is it? 546 00:25:28,010 --> 00:25:29,678 If you say so. 547 00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:31,138 Hello. 548 00:25:31,305 --> 00:25:32,697 I'm Brother Andrew. 549 00:25:32,775 --> 00:25:33,861 Oh, hi. 550 00:25:33,931 --> 00:25:36,352 I'm Natalie Teeger, and this is Adrian Monk. 551 00:25:36,894 --> 00:25:38,687 [LAUGHS] 552 00:25:38,938 --> 00:25:40,397 Mr. Monk and the Monk. 553 00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:44,944 Sorry. Are you allowed to laugh? 554 00:25:45,194 --> 00:25:46,695 We've been known to chuckle. 555 00:25:47,112 --> 00:25:49,740 We're looking for a friend of ours, Leland Stottlemeyer. 556 00:25:49,949 --> 00:25:51,283 Oh, yes, Brother Leland. 557 00:25:51,533 --> 00:25:52,910 Brother Leland? 558 00:25:52,993 --> 00:25:54,620 Can we talk to him? 559 00:25:54,828 --> 00:25:56,163 I'm afraid that's not possible. 560 00:25:56,246 --> 00:25:58,415 Brother Leland has taken a vow of silence. 561 00:25:58,582 --> 00:26:01,043 Well, could we just see him? 562 00:26:01,126 --> 00:26:02,503 We won't say a word. 563 00:26:02,628 --> 00:26:04,088 We're investigating this homicide. 564 00:26:04,171 --> 00:26:05,381 It's very, very important. 565 00:26:05,547 --> 00:26:07,049 Well, you may go, 566 00:26:07,257 --> 00:26:09,760 but I'm afraid, Miss Teeger, you're not permitted 567 00:26:09,927 --> 00:26:11,512 beyond the foyer. 568 00:26:15,557 --> 00:26:18,519 Continue down the hall and up the stairs, Mr. Monk. 569 00:26:47,131 --> 00:26:48,424 Captain? 570 00:26:48,799 --> 00:26:50,801 - Captain? - Shh. 571 00:26:53,762 --> 00:26:55,597 Sorry. I'm just looking for... 572 00:26:55,764 --> 00:26:57,766 Shh! 573 00:27:00,394 --> 00:27:01,645 A friend of mine. 574 00:27:01,729 --> 00:27:03,439 - Here's the thing. - Shh! 575 00:27:03,731 --> 00:27:04,940 - Here's the thing. - Shh! 576 00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:06,567 - Here's the thing. - Shh! 577 00:27:07,526 --> 00:27:08,777 - Here's the... - Shh! 578 00:27:10,487 --> 00:27:12,114 - Here's... - Shh! 579 00:27:14,491 --> 00:27:15,951 - Here's the... - Shh! 580 00:27:18,078 --> 00:27:19,538 - Here's... - Shh! 581 00:27:21,915 --> 00:27:22,958 Shh! 582 00:27:23,292 --> 00:27:24,626 - Here's... - Shh! 583 00:27:24,918 --> 00:27:26,295 - Here's... - Shh! 584 00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:29,089 - Here's the thing. - Shh! 585 00:27:33,552 --> 00:27:34,845 - Here's the thing. - Shh! 586 00:27:35,054 --> 00:27:37,473 - Here's... - Shh! 587 00:27:38,599 --> 00:27:40,726 Shhhhhhhhhh! 588 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,444 - It doesn't matter. - Shh! 589 00:27:54,490 --> 00:27:55,824 Captain? 590 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,035 Capt... 591 00:28:15,969 --> 00:28:17,262 Leland? 592 00:28:19,223 --> 00:28:20,474 Are you okay? 593 00:28:21,767 --> 00:28:23,769 Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but I need... 594 00:28:23,852 --> 00:28:25,354 Shh! 595 00:28:27,773 --> 00:28:29,525 It's about the... 596 00:28:59,096 --> 00:29:00,180 [QUIETLY] Bum. 597 00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:02,141 Bum. 598 00:29:03,559 --> 00:29:06,061 The bum who was... 599 00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:09,690 killed. 600 00:29:10,023 --> 00:29:12,067 He was at your house 601 00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:14,420 the night he was murdered. 602 00:29:15,028 --> 00:29:17,114 Did you see him? 603 00:29:21,702 --> 00:29:23,203 Leland. 604 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:30,836 Why are you here? 605 00:29:38,927 --> 00:29:40,345 The ceiling? 606 00:29:40,596 --> 00:29:42,139 It's beautiful. 607 00:29:46,602 --> 00:29:48,228 God? 608 00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:51,857 He spoke to you? 609 00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,276 What did he say? 610 00:30:17,007 --> 00:30:19,635 "My dear friends, drinking from that fountain 611 00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:21,136 has healed me, not just physically, 612 00:30:21,261 --> 00:30:22,429 spiritually too. 613 00:30:22,512 --> 00:30:23,805 I have made a decision. 614 00:30:23,889 --> 00:30:26,350 I am leaving on Thursday morning, Christmas day, 615 00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:29,102 to spend two years at a mission in Carmona, Spain, 616 00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:31,605 to cleanse myself and start anew." 617 00:30:31,688 --> 00:30:32,898 Two years? 618 00:30:33,106 --> 00:30:34,691 "I want everyone to know 619 00:30:34,775 --> 00:30:36,818 I am not running away from anything. 620 00:30:36,902 --> 00:30:38,862 I'm running toward something... 621 00:30:38,946 --> 00:30:40,697 something true and wonderful. 622 00:30:41,448 --> 00:30:43,450 God bless you all, 623 00:30:43,617 --> 00:30:45,035 Brother Leland." 624 00:30:48,914 --> 00:30:50,415 And here's his badge. 625 00:30:50,624 --> 00:30:52,292 Two years? 626 00:30:53,126 --> 00:30:55,128 That's almost three years. 627 00:30:55,462 --> 00:30:57,422 Without the captain? 628 00:30:58,131 --> 00:30:59,591 What am I supposed to do? 629 00:30:59,841 --> 00:31:02,094 It's almost as if he didn't even consider me. 630 00:31:02,302 --> 00:31:04,763 Well, maybe he knows what he's doing. 631 00:31:04,888 --> 00:31:06,890 Yeah. Maybe we should be happy for him. 632 00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:08,934 Yeah. 633 00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:10,602 Okay. 634 00:31:10,686 --> 00:31:12,145 [LAUGHS WEAKLY] 635 00:31:12,229 --> 00:31:14,564 Okay. Let me try. 636 00:31:16,066 --> 00:31:18,485 [LAUGHS] 637 00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:21,989 No, that's not gonna happen. 638 00:31:22,990 --> 00:31:25,617 Mr. Monk, why don't you try it? 639 00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:27,160 - Try what? - Drinking from the fountain. 640 00:31:27,369 --> 00:31:28,704 It worked for the captain. 641 00:31:28,787 --> 00:31:30,038 I don't think so. 642 00:31:30,122 --> 00:31:31,665 Oh, God, Mr. Monk, come on. 643 00:31:31,748 --> 00:31:33,333 You have to believe in something. 644 00:31:33,542 --> 00:31:36,086 I don't know what I'd do if I didn't think I'd see Mitch again. 645 00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:38,046 You mean in heaven? 646 00:31:38,255 --> 00:31:39,339 Of course in heaven! 647 00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:40,674 Where'd you think I was going? 648 00:31:40,757 --> 00:31:43,135 Well, you know, the drinking, and you kissed a leper. 649 00:31:43,343 --> 00:31:44,761 You think I'm going to hell? 650 00:31:44,970 --> 00:31:46,930 - She kissed a leper. - Mr. Monk, seriously. 651 00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,850 Seriously, deep down, in your heart of hearts, 652 00:31:49,933 --> 00:31:52,352 don't you believe that you'll see Trudy again? 653 00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:55,856 All right, you know what? 654 00:31:56,064 --> 00:31:58,275 Come on. We'll be back in an hour. Don't open any Christmas presents. 655 00:31:58,396 --> 00:31:59,765 What? Where are we going? 656 00:31:59,860 --> 00:32:01,737 This can count as my Christmas gift. 657 00:32:01,820 --> 00:32:03,113 Where are we going? 658 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,365 You look thirsty. I think you need a drink. 659 00:32:05,574 --> 00:32:08,410 What? Oh, no. 660 00:32:32,017 --> 00:32:35,145 Katie? What are you doing here? 661 00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:39,024 I told you we can't be seen together. 662 00:32:39,316 --> 00:32:41,443 You're going to ruin everything. 663 00:32:45,655 --> 00:32:47,741 Are you going somewhere? 664 00:32:49,242 --> 00:32:51,036 I-I can't do it anymore, Owen. 665 00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:53,580 I'm sorry. 666 00:32:53,789 --> 00:32:56,166 These people, they're coming from all over now, 667 00:32:56,291 --> 00:32:58,210 and some of them are really sick. 668 00:32:58,418 --> 00:33:00,379 - So what? - You're not there. 669 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,964 They're... They're throwing their medicine away. 670 00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:04,466 They really believe in the fountain. 671 00:33:05,092 --> 00:33:07,010 That was the whole idea. 672 00:33:08,136 --> 00:33:09,805 I promise I won't tell anyone. 673 00:33:10,305 --> 00:33:11,848 I just want to get away. 674 00:33:12,057 --> 00:33:13,642 Don't be a child! 675 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,855 Nobody's going anywhere. 676 00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:24,111 You and I both know what's under that fountain. 677 00:33:25,112 --> 00:33:27,447 You're in this now. 678 00:33:27,864 --> 00:33:29,324 We're both in it. 679 00:33:29,866 --> 00:33:31,034 Understand? 680 00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:33,328 [WHIMPERS] 681 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,210 Don't worry, darling. 682 00:33:40,836 --> 00:33:42,421 It's almost over. 683 00:34:00,188 --> 00:34:02,315 - I can't do it. - Oh, Mr. Monk, come on. 684 00:34:02,399 --> 00:34:03,859 - I can't. - Please. 685 00:34:03,942 --> 00:34:05,402 Look, there's the captain's cane. 686 00:34:05,485 --> 00:34:07,779 Yeah, it's part of the ritual, because he didn't need it anymore. 687 00:34:07,821 --> 00:34:09,281 Please drink. 688 00:34:18,165 --> 00:34:19,416 Natalie? 689 00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,042 What? What is it? 690 00:34:21,209 --> 00:34:22,419 These pills. 691 00:34:22,836 --> 00:34:26,131 Half the bottles... More than half... 692 00:34:27,048 --> 00:34:29,718 are from the same pharmacy. 693 00:34:30,734 --> 00:34:32,402 There's something wrong here. 694 00:34:32,512 --> 00:34:34,514 Here. Just put this in your bag. 695 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:35,765 Yeah. 696 00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:38,059 Take some more. 697 00:34:38,435 --> 00:34:39,561 What are you doing? 698 00:34:39,936 --> 00:34:41,021 I'm sorry, ma'am. 699 00:34:41,104 --> 00:34:42,564 I'm afraid you have to stay back. 700 00:34:42,647 --> 00:34:44,274 This may be a crime scene. 701 00:34:44,357 --> 00:34:46,943 - A crime scene? - Conspiracy. Probably fraud. 702 00:34:47,128 --> 00:34:48,671 It isn't fraud. It was murder. 703 00:34:48,862 --> 00:34:50,155 This has gone on long enough. 704 00:34:50,363 --> 00:34:51,656 It wasn't me. 705 00:34:51,740 --> 00:34:53,700 I didn't even know him then. 706 00:34:53,867 --> 00:34:56,203 Nine years ago, my fiancé caught his business partner 707 00:34:56,369 --> 00:34:59,080 stealing money, and killed him. 708 00:34:59,289 --> 00:35:00,874 Your fiancé? 709 00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:02,459 Owen McCloskey. 710 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,586 He filled those prescriptions. 711 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,674 The pharmacist. 712 00:35:11,384 --> 00:35:13,512 [GREGORIAN CHANT] 713 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:08,900 Captain. 714 00:36:09,109 --> 00:36:10,068 Captain. 715 00:36:10,151 --> 00:36:12,862 - Captain, you can't go to Spain... - Without knowing the truth. 716 00:36:12,946 --> 00:36:14,322 Shh! 717 00:36:15,949 --> 00:36:17,909 It wasn't a miracle. 718 00:36:18,034 --> 00:36:21,580 The water, the fountain, it was all a hoax. 719 00:36:21,788 --> 00:36:23,039 NATALIE: I'm sorry, captain. 720 00:36:23,123 --> 00:36:25,458 MONK: It was the pharmacist, Owen McCloskey. 721 00:36:25,667 --> 00:36:27,377 He killed Willie T. 722 00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:34,634 [CHANTING] 723 00:36:34,884 --> 00:36:37,512 ♪ Here's what happened ♪ 724 00:36:37,762 --> 00:36:40,432 ♪ McCloskey killed his partner ♪ 725 00:36:40,849 --> 00:36:45,270 ♪ And buried him here ♪ 726 00:36:45,687 --> 00:36:47,981 ♪ Nine years later ♪ 727 00:36:48,106 --> 00:36:50,942 ♪ Planning to renovate ♪ 728 00:36:51,026 --> 00:36:55,071 ♪ Body would be discovered ♪ 729 00:36:55,363 --> 00:36:59,326 NATALIE: ♪ He couldn't dig up the body ♪ 730 00:36:59,409 --> 00:37:03,079 ♪ They had built a fountain there ♪ 731 00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:06,833 ♪ He had to stop them from digging ♪ 732 00:37:09,210 --> 00:37:13,089 ♪ He started changing their prescriptions ♪ 733 00:37:14,049 --> 00:37:17,552 ♪ To make his patients sicker ♪ 734 00:37:17,677 --> 00:37:21,139 NATALIE: ♪ That's why you never got better ♪ 735 00:37:21,264 --> 00:37:24,434 ♪ He did it to everyone ♪ 736 00:37:25,018 --> 00:37:28,063 ♪ He painted that sign on your door ♪ 737 00:37:28,521 --> 00:37:31,066 ♪ Willie the bum ♪ 738 00:37:31,316 --> 00:37:33,401 ♪ Must have seen him ♪ 739 00:37:35,153 --> 00:37:38,657 ♪ That's why McCloskey killed him ♪ 740 00:37:38,865 --> 00:37:43,912 MONKS: ♪ Amen ♪ 741 00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:51,294 So he was messing with everybody's medication. 742 00:37:51,419 --> 00:37:53,338 Making us all sicker. 743 00:37:53,421 --> 00:37:55,757 And then he sent us to that fountain. 744 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,175 That's it. 745 00:37:57,342 --> 00:37:59,094 So after we drank, 746 00:37:59,302 --> 00:38:01,888 he'd give us some real medication. 747 00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:03,807 [LAUGHS] 748 00:38:03,890 --> 00:38:06,017 Making us all feel better. 749 00:38:06,226 --> 00:38:07,268 And it worked. 750 00:38:07,352 --> 00:38:09,229 The fountain became a shrine, 751 00:38:09,312 --> 00:38:10,563 a sacred place. 752 00:38:10,730 --> 00:38:13,358 Which, of course, they would never dig up. 753 00:38:16,903 --> 00:38:19,322 Well, so much for miracles. 754 00:38:32,001 --> 00:38:33,628 Thank you, Mr. Monk. 755 00:38:33,813 --> 00:38:35,981 This is the best Christmas I can remember. 756 00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:37,841 I was just doing my job. 757 00:38:37,924 --> 00:38:39,134 REGGIE: No, it wasn't just that. 758 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:40,260 Thanks for the caring. 759 00:38:40,391 --> 00:38:42,095 Well, the caring part was mostly Natalie. 760 00:38:42,178 --> 00:38:44,514 We, uh, we wanted to give you something. 761 00:38:45,098 --> 00:38:46,307 We made it ourselves. 762 00:38:46,933 --> 00:38:47,892 It's gravy. 763 00:38:49,269 --> 00:38:51,312 - I can't take that. - No, we insist. 764 00:38:51,521 --> 00:38:52,814 After all you've done for us. 765 00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,357 No, no, no, he means he literally can't take it. 766 00:38:54,441 --> 00:38:56,109 I got it, though. Thank you so much. 767 00:38:56,204 --> 00:38:57,318 Merry Christmas. 768 00:38:57,402 --> 00:38:58,737 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 769 00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:00,155 Thank you so much. 770 00:39:00,238 --> 00:39:01,448 Merry Christmas. 771 00:39:01,504 --> 00:39:02,756 Merry Christmas. 772 00:39:04,325 --> 00:39:05,869 Merry Christmas. 773 00:39:07,245 --> 00:39:09,998 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 774 00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:14,461 McCloskey's already talking. 775 00:39:14,544 --> 00:39:16,629 We're digging up the fountain tomorrow too. 776 00:39:18,423 --> 00:39:20,467 I'm sorry you had to go through all that. 777 00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:22,093 I'm not. 778 00:39:22,886 --> 00:39:24,304 How's that? 779 00:39:24,554 --> 00:39:26,181 I'm not sorry. 780 00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:30,977 I know it's all a hoax. I know it's a big con game. But... 781 00:39:31,352 --> 00:39:33,480 [LAUGHS] It felt real. 782 00:39:34,063 --> 00:39:35,482 That's all I can say. 783 00:39:35,559 --> 00:39:37,442 Randy, when I drank that water, something happened. 784 00:39:37,567 --> 00:39:39,736 It was like a slate inside me was wiped clean 785 00:39:39,819 --> 00:39:41,654 and I started over. 786 00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:45,116 It felt great. 787 00:39:46,409 --> 00:39:47,827 [SIGHS] 788 00:39:47,994 --> 00:39:50,371 Hey, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna call my son. 789 00:39:50,455 --> 00:39:52,290 Oh, no, no, hang on. Wait a minute. 790 00:39:52,373 --> 00:39:54,375 Um, I almost forgot. 791 00:39:55,001 --> 00:39:56,586 This is for you. 792 00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:00,256 Merry Christmas. 793 00:40:00,340 --> 00:40:02,091 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 794 00:40:04,928 --> 00:40:06,304 Jared, hey! 795 00:40:06,429 --> 00:40:08,181 I was just about to call you. 796 00:40:10,892 --> 00:40:12,519 Yeah, I love you too. 797 00:40:12,602 --> 00:40:13,895 It's a razor. 798 00:40:13,978 --> 00:40:15,271 Is this for me? 799 00:40:15,355 --> 00:40:16,689 Shave it. 800 00:40:17,065 --> 00:40:18,358 Oh, I... 801 00:40:18,441 --> 00:40:20,193 Oh, I'd love to see you. 802 00:40:20,443 --> 00:40:21,653 I'm... I... 803 00:40:21,736 --> 00:40:23,279 I'm free all weekend. 804 00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,532 That'd be great. 805 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,450 What if I grow a little goatee instead? 806 00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:28,493 No. 807 00:40:28,576 --> 00:40:30,286 Uh, Friday, uh, Friday, yeah. 808 00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:31,788 Friday night, I'll pick you up at the airport. 809 00:40:31,871 --> 00:40:33,414 What about sideburns? I could do sideburns. 810 00:40:33,498 --> 00:40:35,083 Like, probably down to the bottom of my ear, I bet. 811 00:40:35,291 --> 00:40:36,543 - Mutton chops. - No. 812 00:40:36,709 --> 00:40:39,212 Hey, look, um, Friday night, I'll meet you at the airport. 813 00:40:39,420 --> 00:40:40,505 Soul patch. 814 00:40:40,570 --> 00:40:42,071 I can do a soul patch right there. 815 00:40:42,146 --> 00:40:45,134 Really? Wh... Wh... What's her name? 816 00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:46,970 Awesome. 817 00:40:47,053 --> 00:40:48,638 I mean, that... that's great. 818 00:40:48,888 --> 00:40:50,098 Cool. 819 00:40:51,683 --> 00:40:53,893 - [LAUGHS] Okay. - I'll be in the car. 820 00:42:08,635 --> 00:42:10,178 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]