1
00:00:02,528 --> 00:00:04,905
WOMAN:
Oh, my God, it's David Gitelson!
2
00:00:05,114 --> 00:00:06,532
David, David, over here!
3
00:00:07,366 --> 00:00:08,806
We're goin' all the way!
4
00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:10,903
MAN:
Go kill the Wildcats!
5
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,418
MAN 2:
All the way to the championship!
6
00:00:13,507 --> 00:00:14,801
You can bet on that!
7
00:00:14,938 --> 00:00:16,166
MAN 3:
Go get 'em David!
8
00:00:18,502 --> 00:00:20,504
[DANCE MUSIC IN BACKGROUND]
9
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:34,643
Oh, what time is it?
10
00:00:34,685 --> 00:00:35,978
Mm. Don't ask me.
11
00:00:36,019 --> 00:00:38,063
I don't even know
what day it is.
12
00:00:38,313 --> 00:00:39,440
Mmm.
13
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,525
Hey, what's this I'm sitting on?
14
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,986
Oh, I told you,
I came straight from practice.
15
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,630
"Classified."
[GIGGLES]
16
00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:48,198
What are you, a spy?
17
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,325
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
That is top secret.
18
00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:51,850
You can't touch this...
19
00:00:51,994 --> 00:00:53,829
unless you're wearing
one of these.
20
00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:55,597
- Oh.
- [CHUCKLES]
21
00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:58,310
Mr. Gitelson,
are we going home?
22
00:00:58,417 --> 00:00:59,835
No, I wanna go
to the other club,
23
00:00:59,918 --> 00:01:01,128
to the after-party.
24
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,546
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
25
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,548
To the after-party.
26
00:01:25,277 --> 00:01:26,987
[DIALING]
27
00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:28,799
Hey, it's me.
28
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,491
I got the playbook.
29
00:01:30,574 --> 00:01:32,034
Yep, lookin' at it right now.
30
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,496
Listen, we gotta move fast.
We got one hour to do this.
31
00:01:36,622 --> 00:01:39,541
Don't worry about that.
Just have the money ready.
32
00:01:41,752 --> 00:01:43,086
It's all there.
33
00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:53,013
You know, normally
I'd say good luck.
34
00:01:53,138 --> 00:01:56,266
But, uh... you're not
gonna need it now.
35
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:24,670
What's going on, David?
36
00:02:24,897 --> 00:02:26,505
What the hell'd you do, huh?
Did you sell me out?
37
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,382
- What are you talking about?
- No, don't lie to me, man.
38
00:02:28,465 --> 00:02:30,050
You know what?
I'm callin' the cops.
39
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:31,552
[DIALING]
40
00:02:32,511 --> 00:02:34,221
You gonna call the police on me?
41
00:02:34,429 --> 00:02:35,864
Listen, you could
cost me the game!
42
00:02:36,588 --> 00:02:39,142
Get up! Get up right now, 'cause
I'm gonna call the police...
43
00:02:39,351 --> 00:02:40,269
Yaah!
44
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,691
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
45
00:02:46,942 --> 00:02:49,194
♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
46
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:52,447
♪ Disorder and confusion
everywhere ♪
47
00:02:53,991 --> 00:02:56,243
♪ No one seems to care ♪
48
00:02:56,326 --> 00:02:57,369
♪ Well, I do ♪
49
00:02:57,452 --> 00:03:00,205
♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪
50
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:02,583
♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
51
00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:06,878
♪ Poison in the very air
we breathe ♪
52
00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:09,798
♪ Do you know what's
in the water that you drink? ♪
53
00:03:09,881 --> 00:03:14,094
♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪
54
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:17,389
♪ People think I'm crazy
'cause I worry all the time ♪
55
00:03:17,472 --> 00:03:19,516
♪ If you paid attention,
you'd be worried, too ♪
56
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,730
♪ You better pay attention,
or this world we love so much ♪
57
00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:28,483
♪ Might just kill you ♪
58
00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:30,444
♪ I could be wrong now ♪
59
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,863
♪ But I don't think so ♪
60
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,490
♪ 'Cause it's a jungle
out there ♪
61
00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:37,826
♪ It's a jungle out there ♪
62
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,041
The Condors have been there.
63
00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:45,959
Those guys have all
been to the playoffs.
64
00:03:46,043 --> 00:03:47,085
The Cats are gonna choke.
65
00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:48,879
Richardson's the best
running back in the league.
66
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,756
- I don't know, boys.
- I heard Richardson was hurt.
67
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,174
Yeah, he tweaked his knee!
68
00:03:52,257 --> 00:03:53,634
NATALIE:
Mr. Monk said something
69
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,260
very interesting today
about the game.
70
00:03:55,344 --> 00:03:56,762
No, I didn't.
I didn't say anything.
71
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,722
Yes, you did.
What was it again?
72
00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:00,807
It's just that...
73
00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,435
I saw a photo of the team
in a newspaper,
74
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,145
and it was kind of interesting.
75
00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,230
And I noticed that, uh,
76
00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:10,400
if you added up
all their uniform numbers,
77
00:04:10,609 --> 00:04:13,820
it adds up... To 1,000.
78
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:17,991
Wow. Exactly 1,000.
79
00:04:18,075 --> 00:04:19,368
Anybody else notice that?
80
00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:20,952
That's gotta be
a good omen, right?
81
00:04:21,036 --> 00:04:22,871
I didn't say it was a good omen.
82
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:26,375
Hey, uh, everybody's
comin' on Sunday.
83
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:27,584
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
84
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,920
I got a brand-new
52-inch plasma TV.
85
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,756
We're gonna fire up the grill,
watch the Condors kick butt.
86
00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:34,466
Printed out some directions.
87
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,801
Here ya go.
88
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,136
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
What about Mr. Monk?
89
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,471
Oh.
90
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,182
Oh, sure.
Sorry, I didn't think...
91
00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:43,767
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
92
00:04:43,809 --> 00:04:45,102
Oh, wait, no, wait.
93
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,771
You're talking about this Sunday?
I can't make it, sorry.
94
00:04:47,845 --> 00:04:50,556
I'm, uh... I'm gonna be
at Summit Stadium.
95
00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,651
Wait a minute.
You're gonna be at the stadium?
96
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:53,735
Yeah.
97
00:04:54,069 --> 00:04:55,570
Why? You going to the game?
98
00:04:55,717 --> 00:04:57,030
- Yeah.
- Since when?
99
00:04:57,447 --> 00:04:58,949
I have to go.
100
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,493
I promised Bob.
You know, Costas.
101
00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:04,496
- You know Bob Costas?
- I didn't mention that?
102
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,249
I helped him out of a little
jam about ten years ago.
103
00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,458
I never mentioned this?
104
00:05:08,659 --> 00:05:09,618
- No.
- No!
105
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,044
- Bob Costas? No.
- RANDY: The announcer?
106
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,295
MONK:
Yeah. Anyway...
107
00:05:12,504 --> 00:05:14,631
He, uh, he sent me this ticket,
108
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,174
and I promised I might show up.
109
00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:18,051
It's not even a good seat.
It's...
110
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,262
I-I have to sit in a box.
111
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,848
[MUTTERS]
Sit in a box.
112
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,266
A press box.
113
00:05:24,349 --> 00:05:25,350
Oh, no.
114
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,185
A press box with Bob Costas.
115
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:30,397
[LAUGHING] Look at this...
an all-access pass in here.
116
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,815
RANDY:
Oh!
117
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,151
You can go into
the locker room with that.
118
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,403
Why would I want to go
in the locker room?
119
00:05:36,695 --> 00:05:38,029
Hang on.
120
00:05:39,865 --> 00:05:41,825
Oh, my goodness.
121
00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:44,661
Monk, there are
two tickets here.
122
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,288
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
123
00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:49,541
Who you gonna take?
124
00:06:00,469 --> 00:06:01,803
Natalie.
125
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,307
I was gonna take Natalie.
126
00:06:06,391 --> 00:06:07,768
Yeah...
127
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,603
Mr. Monk, can I talk
to you for one second?
128
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:11,897
Don't worry... I'm not gonna
charge you for the ticket.
129
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:14,024
Here you go.
130
00:06:18,028 --> 00:06:19,488
Mr. Monk,
you should take the captain.
131
00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:21,072
He really wants to go.
No.
132
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,450
It'll be fun, you and Leland
at the big game,
133
00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:25,285
hangin' out, couple of guys.
134
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:27,162
You'll have some
male bonding time.
135
00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:28,789
I think I'd be more comfortable
136
00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,540
having male bonding time
with you.
137
00:06:30,582 --> 00:06:32,167
No. Go.
138
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,088
He's gonna want to go
in the locker room.
139
00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:38,256
Go!
140
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,474
Thank you.
141
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,271
MAN:
Condors. Condors!
142
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,526
[TIRES SQUEAL]
143
00:07:01,196 --> 00:07:02,572
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS ON]
144
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,868
We're goin' all the way!
145
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,287
MAN: Oh, yeah,
you better believe it!
146
00:07:09,371 --> 00:07:11,122
Come on, right here.
147
00:07:11,206 --> 00:07:12,374
Help yourself!
148
00:07:12,457 --> 00:07:14,000
Don't mind if I do, brother.
149
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:15,335
That's right, Condors!
150
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:16,837
- LELAND: Condors!
- That's right.
151
00:07:18,213 --> 00:07:21,091
There you are.
Pretty sweet, huh?
152
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:24,261
Who are all these people,
and where are their parents?
153
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,429
It's a tailgate party, Monk.
154
00:07:26,471 --> 00:07:28,723
People get here early,
and they start to party
155
00:07:28,807 --> 00:07:30,517
and they get all pumped
up for the game.
156
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,228
But they're... they're not
actually playing in the game.
157
00:07:33,311 --> 00:07:35,272
Well, it doesn't make any
sense if you think about it.
158
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,524
The trick
is not to think about it.
159
00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:39,401
You just gotta turn
your mind off.
160
00:07:39,484 --> 00:07:40,986
You do have
an off switch, right?
161
00:07:41,152 --> 00:07:42,362
I don't think so.
162
00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:45,031
Well, here.
You can borrow mine.
163
00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:46,575
Beer: Nature's off switch.
164
00:07:46,658 --> 00:07:48,869
No, thanks.
I think I'll pass.
165
00:07:48,952 --> 00:07:50,829
[LAUGHING]
166
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,622
Hey! Look at this guy.
167
00:07:53,331 --> 00:07:54,875
Pace yourself, buddy.
168
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,501
It isn't even kickoff yet!
169
00:07:56,585 --> 00:07:59,129
Yeah. Get a... job.
170
00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:00,505
Hippie.
171
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,132
'Scuse me, sir.
172
00:08:02,591 --> 00:08:04,092
Could I ask you a question?
173
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,261
I'm taking a little survey.
Of course.
174
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,305
Do you have...
Condor fever?
175
00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:11,057
- [BLOWS AIR HORN]
- [CROWD CHEERING]
176
00:08:11,308 --> 00:08:13,101
I do now.
Thank you.
177
00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:15,228
Because we've got the fever!
178
00:08:15,437 --> 00:08:17,188
[CROWD WHOOPING, CHEERING]
179
00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:19,149
[TOOT]
180
00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:20,942
COSTAS [ON TV]:
Back at Summit Stadium,
181
00:08:21,026 --> 00:08:23,236
one of the greatest playoff games ever.
182
00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:25,071
Just minutes now from kickoff.
183
00:08:26,865 --> 00:08:28,825
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
184
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,746
[RINGING]
185
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:35,916
Disher.
186
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,585
Oh, hey, Natalie, yeah.
Listen, I can't talk right now.
187
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:40,211
I'm watching the pre-game.
188
00:08:40,503 --> 00:08:43,173
No. No, no, it's just me.
189
00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:44,633
[SPORTSCASTER TALKING]
190
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:47,093
Yeah. No, it's great.
It's better than being there.
191
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:48,553
Can I talk to you later?
192
00:08:48,637 --> 00:08:51,097
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Okay.
193
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,299
Bye.
194
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,421
SPORTSCASTER: We're going
to go back upstairs to Bob Costas.
195
00:08:54,643 --> 00:08:57,437
COSTAS: So the playoffs get underway
at Summit Stadium.
196
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,189
It's the Wildcats and the Condors.
197
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,832
The Condors heavily favored,
198
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,777
and you can see why,
the passing combination...
199
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:06,237
I think I'm watchin' the game.
200
00:09:30,095 --> 00:09:31,596
Hey, pops!
Ya feelin' it?
201
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:33,390
I said are you feeling it?!
202
00:09:34,432 --> 00:09:36,226
Yeah, I'm feelin' it.
203
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,811
- I'm feelin' it.
- Feelin' it?
204
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,771
I'm feelin' it!
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
205
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,064
- Feelin' it?
- Yeah!
206
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,358
Whoo! Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
207
00:09:43,608 --> 00:09:45,151
[WHOOPING]
208
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:54,285
Did you enjoy
civilization, Leland?
209
00:09:54,369 --> 00:09:55,745
I sure did.
210
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,372
It was a hell of a run.
211
00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:59,207
8,000 years.
212
00:10:58,308 --> 00:11:00,727
Ha ha!
Championship game!
213
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:02,771
Great seats.
Perfect weather.
214
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:04,355
It doesn't get
any better than this.
215
00:11:04,439 --> 00:11:06,024
- You said it!
- MAN: Tickets.
216
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:08,693
- This is better than sex.
- What isn't?
217
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,403
Tickets.
218
00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:11,821
Tickets.
219
00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:13,615
Tickets.
220
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:19,329
This will just take a minute.
221
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:23,625
I wanna thank you in advance
for your patience.
222
00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:26,503
What... What'd you do?
You sealed the envelope?
223
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:30,173
Almost... Almost there.
224
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,550
All right,
let's fire up the grill!
225
00:11:32,634 --> 00:11:34,344
Whoo!
[LAUGHING]
226
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:36,471
For God's sake, Monk,
it's almost kick-off time.
227
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:38,056
Just... just tear it open.
228
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:39,265
Gimme that.
229
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:40,934
[CHUCKLES]
230
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,727
Whoo, whoo!
231
00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:44,562
Whoa, easy with that stuff.
232
00:11:44,646 --> 00:11:46,523
All right, all right,
you big baby.
233
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,151
- You're like a child.
- I'm not... I'm not a child.
234
00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:52,320
Why don't you just
take someone else?
235
00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:53,404
I know you want to.
236
00:11:53,488 --> 00:11:55,240
No, no, no,
hey, hey, hey, come here.
237
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,742
I don't wanna take
anybody else, Monk, okay?
238
00:11:57,826 --> 00:11:59,953
I'm here with you.
I'm having fun with you.
239
00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:02,330
Here we go.
You're gonna have a great time.
240
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:04,833
[EXPLOSION]
241
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,126
[SCREAMING]
242
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,669
- What was that?
- Uh...
243
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,170
- What was that?
- I don't know.
244
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:10,797
[STAMMERING]
Give him the tickets.
245
00:12:10,839 --> 00:12:13,299
No, really, we should...
We should go check that out.
246
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:15,301
- Don't you think? We should...
- Check what out?
247
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,522
COSTAS: So the playoffs
get under way at Summit Stadium.
248
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,232
It's the Wildcats
and the Condors.
249
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,609
The Condors heavily favored,
and you can see why.
250
00:12:31,693 --> 00:12:34,487
That passing combination of
Dick Blaylock to Scott Sidell...
251
00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:35,947
You're a lucky man.
252
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:37,615
If you were standing any closer,
253
00:12:37,699 --> 00:12:39,242
you might have been killed.
254
00:12:39,284 --> 00:12:40,743
Better get you to a hospital.
255
00:12:40,785 --> 00:12:42,620
No, no, not today, pal!
256
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:45,039
I've never missed
a Condors game in my life!
257
00:12:45,123 --> 00:12:46,708
CROWD:
Go, Condors!
258
00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:48,334
[CHEERING]
259
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,961
How's this for a bandage?
260
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,337
[GRUNTS]
261
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:52,797
Good as new.
262
00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:54,716
Better than new!
Condors!
263
00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:56,009
[WHOOPING]
264
00:12:56,217 --> 00:12:57,468
[LAUGHING]
265
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,471
I guess I'm done here.
266
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,931
[COMMOTION]
267
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:03,266
What was that?
268
00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:05,059
That was the opening kickoff.
269
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:06,728
We're officially
missing the game.
270
00:13:06,811 --> 00:13:08,730
Why am I not surprised?
271
00:13:15,653 --> 00:13:16,905
Monk, what are you doing?
272
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,239
With the hands... what...
273
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:20,491
It's just a charcoal grill.
274
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:22,869
It doesn't make any sense.
275
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,621
Why would it just explode?
276
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,707
Monk, it makes perfect sense.
277
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,500
These things blow up
all the time.
278
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,586
First off,
the kid was plastered.
279
00:13:31,669 --> 00:13:34,631
He dumps a half a gallon of
lighter fluid on the son of a bitch,
280
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,090
dropped a match, and kaboom!
281
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,748
ALL:
Oh! Oh!
282
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,595
LELAND:
Jeez! Oh, no, no, no, no!
283
00:13:40,845 --> 00:13:44,057
First play of the game,
and we're already behind.
284
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,936
That's not lighter fluid.
285
00:14:23,805 --> 00:14:26,057
[MUTTERING] Good, good.
Good field position.
286
00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:38,111
That's gasoline.
287
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:40,405
You son of a bitch.
288
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:41,572
I didn't do it.
289
00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,324
Well, at least quit smiling.
290
00:15:41,883 --> 00:15:44,135
Man, this is better
than the grill.
291
00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:45,553
This is authentic.
292
00:15:45,636 --> 00:15:47,513
This is how the pioneers
used to eat.
293
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:49,140
- Captain?
- What?
294
00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:50,683
We're on duty.
295
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,560
[LAUGHS]
I'm not on duty.
296
00:15:52,769 --> 00:15:54,437
MAN:
Oh, man!
297
00:15:54,479 --> 00:15:56,814
- This is a horror show!
- MAN 2: Defense is killin' us, man.
298
00:15:56,898 --> 00:15:58,441
They gotta get Landau
outta there!
299
00:15:58,649 --> 00:16:00,818
They don't have anyone else.
Gitelson didn't show up today.
300
00:16:00,902 --> 00:16:02,111
They were just talkin' about it.
301
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,030
He's M.I.A.
Nobody knows where he's at.
302
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:06,741
What the hell is goin' on? Our backup
quarterback doesn't even show up.
303
00:16:06,824 --> 00:16:07,909
No, no, wait!
304
00:16:08,076 --> 00:16:09,619
Davy Gitelson.
He's definitely here.
305
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,079
I saw him this morning.
306
00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:13,873
I asked him for his autograph.
He blew me off.
307
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:15,041
I think it was him.
308
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,834
'Scuse me.
It's Chet, right?
309
00:16:16,918 --> 00:16:18,961
We're the police,
wondering if we could
310
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,546
ask a couple of questions
about the fire.
311
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:21,589
Sure.
312
00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:24,425
I-I found this Condors
water bottle...
313
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:25,885
ALL:
Condors!
314
00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:27,220
Whoo!
315
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:29,430
Yes, that's absolutely correct.
316
00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:32,809
Um, there was some
gasoline... in it.
317
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:34,227
See?
318
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:36,687
Did you notice anybody
tampering with your grill?
319
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:39,857
Oh, I figured.
It's no big mystery.
320
00:16:40,024 --> 00:16:41,651
Everybody knows who did it.
321
00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:42,819
They do, huh?
322
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,737
Yeah, this guy
named Cory something.
323
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:47,907
He drives up from L.A.,
him and his moron loser friends.
324
00:16:47,949 --> 00:16:50,118
Legally, we can't stop him
from parkin' here.
325
00:16:50,201 --> 00:16:51,661
Believe me, we checked.
326
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,496
Why would they wanna
sabotage your grill?
327
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:56,040
That's a good question.
I'll tell you why.
328
00:16:56,124 --> 00:16:57,917
Because the Wildcats suck!
329
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,210
Yeah!
Yeah!
330
00:16:59,377 --> 00:17:01,045
You're goin' down, losers, down!
331
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,630
Wildcats suck!
332
00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:04,298
[BOOING]
333
00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:07,301
They're Wildcat fans, Monk.
334
00:17:07,385 --> 00:17:09,429
It's a big rivalry.
335
00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:12,014
Two years ago, they put
a bag of bees in my car.
336
00:17:12,223 --> 00:17:14,100
Yeah, then his mom
spat on my mom.
337
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,977
Then we flipped his RV.
338
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,854
God, I love football!
339
00:17:18,062 --> 00:17:19,647
[WHOOPING]
340
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,651
I told you it was just a fan.
341
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:25,153
I just wanna make sure.
342
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:26,821
I wish we had
some lab equipment.
343
00:17:26,895 --> 00:17:28,939
- We could dust for prints.
- Hey, you know what I wish?
344
00:17:29,031 --> 00:17:30,199
I wish there was two of me
345
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,285
so one of me could be out here
wasting my life with you,
346
00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,786
and the other one
could be in there
347
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,746
watching the football game
with Bob Costas.
348
00:17:36,414 --> 00:17:37,457
Hello!
349
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,125
We come in peace.
350
00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:40,793
Lookin' for a fellow named Cory?
351
00:17:40,877 --> 00:17:42,211
- 'Scuse me.
- Yeah.
352
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,380
- Can we help you?
- Yes, sir, I hope so.
353
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:46,382
We're with the San Francisco
Police Department.
354
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,842
We're investigating
an arson fire
355
00:17:47,925 --> 00:17:50,803
that took place over in section
15 about a half an hour ago.
356
00:17:51,262 --> 00:17:53,097
That can't be a real badge, huh?
357
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,641
Pardon me?
358
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,810
Well, no self-respecting
police department in America
359
00:17:57,894 --> 00:18:00,229
would let Leland
"Hound Dog" Stottlemeyer
360
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,856
carry a loaded weapon!
361
00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:02,899
Butterman!
362
00:18:03,107 --> 00:18:04,233
Cory Butterman!
363
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,401
Hey!
364
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,777
Fred! Fred!
365
00:18:06,861 --> 00:18:08,779
[LAUGHING]
366
00:18:08,863 --> 00:18:11,657
Hey, Monk, these are
my buddies from high school!
367
00:18:11,866 --> 00:18:12,992
This is, um...
368
00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:14,535
- Adrian.
- Adrian.
369
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,054
Yeah.
How you doin'?
370
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,455
How are you?
371
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,373
- What happened to you?
- What?
372
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:22,043
You move up here,
suddenly you're a Condor fan?
373
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:24,670
I haven't lived
in Los Angeles for 30 years,
374
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:25,963
and as far as I'm concerned,
375
00:18:26,047 --> 00:18:27,965
L.A. still doesn't have
a football team.
376
00:18:28,049 --> 00:18:28,841
Ooh!
377
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:30,051
[LAUGHING]
378
00:18:30,259 --> 00:18:32,261
You ugly, dumb son of a bitch!
379
00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:34,222
Hey, hey, hey.
380
00:18:34,472 --> 00:18:35,890
This man is a friend of mine.
381
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:37,767
You wanna make fun of him,
382
00:18:37,808 --> 00:18:39,435
you have to make fun
of me first.
383
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,562
Monk...
Monk, they're just fooling.
384
00:18:41,771 --> 00:18:43,648
It... It's okay.
They're just...
385
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,358
It's just guy talk.
386
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,401
Yeah, I know.
387
00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:50,196
I know.
That's what I was... doing.
388
00:18:50,238 --> 00:18:52,240
I was... That's what I was doing.
389
00:18:53,074 --> 00:18:55,034
What is up with
those yellow teeth?
390
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:56,369
Don't you know how to brush?
391
00:18:57,787 --> 00:19:00,540
And you...
Hey, the moon called...
392
00:19:00,831 --> 00:19:03,209
it wants all its craters back.
393
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,294
From your... skin.
394
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:06,879
[SOFTLY]
'Cause you got bad skin.
395
00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:08,214
Ha.
396
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,674
[STOTTLEMEYER CHUCKLING]
397
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:15,012
So, um, hey, what's going on?
You guys married?
398
00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:17,473
Oh, yeah, man.
Read 'em and weep.
399
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,891
The party's over.
400
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,101
What about you, man?
401
00:19:20,184 --> 00:19:22,061
Oh, he was married,
and he got divorced.
402
00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:23,938
And then his last girlfriend...
403
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,357
[LAUGHING]
got arrested for murder.
404
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,609
Right, you ugly,
405
00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:31,279
dumb, sad, lonely...
406
00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:34,323
s-stupid, sad son of a...
407
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,200
Right?
408
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,788
- Are you really a cop?
- Yeah.
409
00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:44,458
Can you take care of this?
I mean, for old time's sake.
410
00:19:44,542 --> 00:19:45,960
What, a speeding ticket?
411
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,087
Hey, that...
412
00:19:48,296 --> 00:19:49,547
That's 2:40 p.m. today.
413
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:52,758
That's only...
That's only 35 minutes ago.
414
00:19:53,551 --> 00:19:55,177
Yeah, well, I'll
see what I can do.
415
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,722
So, uh, what's all this
about a fire?
416
00:19:57,805 --> 00:20:00,016
If it was my kids,
I'll kill 'em.
417
00:20:00,141 --> 00:20:02,727
They've been butting heads with
these Condor fans for years.
418
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:05,730
Actually, this ticket means that
you and your boys are off the hook.
419
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:08,274
It happened before you got here,
420
00:20:08,399 --> 00:20:10,276
so this is what we call
an alibi.
421
00:20:10,318 --> 00:20:12,570
In that case,
let's play some ball!
422
00:20:12,653 --> 00:20:15,448
Let's see if you still
got that Stottlemeyer touch!
423
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:17,575
Hike it up,
hike it up, hike it up!
424
00:20:18,326 --> 00:20:19,827
Go long!
425
00:20:20,036 --> 00:20:21,579
Go long, long, long, long!
426
00:20:24,749 --> 00:20:26,500
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
427
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:27,877
Damn.
428
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,881
Still got it...
Stottlemeyer touch.
429
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:35,426
Whoo-hoo!
Go, Condors.
430
00:20:38,179 --> 00:20:39,847
Randy?
431
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:42,433
Somebody order some pizza?
432
00:20:56,238 --> 00:20:57,531
Randy?
433
00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:01,494
Randy!
434
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,502
Hello?
435
00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:12,421
Oh! Out of bounds.
That's out of bounds.
436
00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:14,340
God, you're blind!
437
00:21:16,592 --> 00:21:18,219
Uh, what's the score?
438
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,096
Down by 9.
439
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,807
Wait... no, 6.
440
00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:24,433
Can you hold this?
441
00:21:26,102 --> 00:21:28,854
Oh... pizza!
442
00:21:29,105 --> 00:21:31,899
COSTAS: Condors heavily favored,
and you can see why.
443
00:21:31,982 --> 00:21:34,485
That passing combination of
Dick Blaylock to Scott Sidell...
444
00:21:34,568 --> 00:21:35,611
Is that blood?
445
00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:38,280
Yeah. It's from the evidence room,
so don't touch it.
446
00:21:38,489 --> 00:21:39,824
I won't touch it.
447
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,409
Serving.
448
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:43,869
Thank you.
449
00:21:47,957 --> 00:21:49,959
I wish we had bendy straws.
450
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,923
[STOTTLEMEYER CHUCKLING]
451
00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:57,800
I can't believe I used
to run with those guys.
452
00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:00,553
We all got suspended one time.
We had this new vice principal...
453
00:22:00,594 --> 00:22:03,472
The important thing is,
though, that they have an alibi.
454
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,307
Speeding ticket, right?
455
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:07,560
Oh, Jesus, Monk, you back on that?
Give it a rest!
456
00:22:07,685 --> 00:22:09,562
No, I think we should
pack up that grill...
457
00:22:09,656 --> 00:22:11,814
Monk! It was just a prank.
458
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,608
Yeah, but what if it wasn't?
You heard the paramedic.
459
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,152
That guy could have been killed.
460
00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:18,571
No, something is goin' on here.
461
00:22:18,654 --> 00:22:20,740
Feels more like
attempted murder.
462
00:22:21,031 --> 00:22:22,199
Hey!
463
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:24,994
You want this to be
attempted murder!
464
00:22:25,202 --> 00:22:27,204
You do.
Yeah, admit it!
465
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,499
You need this to be a real case,
because that's all you know.
466
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,543
Snoopin' around,
sniffin' around.
467
00:22:32,626 --> 00:22:33,961
Maybe you're right
about the grill.
468
00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:35,629
You probably are.
469
00:22:35,713 --> 00:22:38,716
But... it can wait.
It can wait.
470
00:22:38,799 --> 00:22:41,802
We can lock the scene down.
Nobody's goin' anywhere.
471
00:22:41,886 --> 00:22:44,221
Tickets here.
Who needs two, who needs two?
472
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:46,557
Hey, isn't that illegal?
That's illegal.
473
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,393
It's a football game, Monk!
474
00:22:49,477 --> 00:22:51,270
Come on, use the off switch.
475
00:22:51,353 --> 00:22:53,856
Everybody has
an off switch, right?
476
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,818
He's probably selling them
for twice what they're worth.
477
00:22:59,195 --> 00:23:00,613
Maybe not.
478
00:23:03,199 --> 00:23:05,034
All right, Leland, wait.
Wait a second!
479
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,620
All right, look...
You're right.
480
00:23:08,496 --> 00:23:09,830
Maybe I am overthinking it.
481
00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:11,665
I-I always do.
482
00:23:11,874 --> 00:23:13,501
Let's just lock down the scene,
483
00:23:13,709 --> 00:23:14,835
and then we'll go to the game.
484
00:23:15,002 --> 00:23:16,337
The off switch?
485
00:23:17,546 --> 00:23:18,631
Click.
486
00:23:20,424 --> 00:23:21,675
Click.
487
00:23:23,886 --> 00:23:25,179
Changed your mind, huh?
488
00:23:25,262 --> 00:23:26,889
A woman's prerogative.
489
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,390
Press box, level three.
490
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,726
[LAUGHS]
Press box, level three!
491
00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:33,187
Two tickets to paradise, buddy.
492
00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:36,148
- That ring...
- Huh?
493
00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:41,195
What?
494
00:23:41,278 --> 00:23:43,072
Have you seen this ring?
495
00:23:43,364 --> 00:23:45,157
Yeah! Yeah, that's
the championship ring.
496
00:23:45,358 --> 00:23:47,993
Yeah, that's the ring
they won last year.
497
00:23:48,077 --> 00:23:49,495
See that?
498
00:23:49,703 --> 00:23:50,746
See the stripe?
499
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,040
On the band.
500
00:23:53,127 --> 00:23:54,333
Yeah?
What about 'em?
501
00:24:02,424 --> 00:24:03,676
What?
502
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:06,887
What?
503
00:24:07,555 --> 00:24:09,223
Oh, no!
Monk!
504
00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:22,611
Hey, that's a real ring.
505
00:24:22,820 --> 00:24:24,530
This must be the player
they were talking about,
506
00:24:24,738 --> 00:24:25,865
the one who didn't show up.
507
00:24:25,948 --> 00:24:27,783
David Gitelson, number 18.
508
00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:28,909
Captain, he's cold.
509
00:24:43,591 --> 00:24:45,634
Hey, was that really
Davy Gitelson?
510
00:24:45,759 --> 00:24:47,177
Yes, sir.
511
00:24:47,344 --> 00:24:50,681
Didn't you say you were
talking to him this morning,
512
00:24:50,806 --> 00:24:52,600
and you asked him
for an autograph?
513
00:24:52,808 --> 00:24:54,310
I did?
514
00:24:54,852 --> 00:24:56,604
I don't think so!
515
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,649
There goes your star witness.
516
00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:02,693
[WHISTLES]
Backup quarterback, huh?
517
00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:04,153
Yeah.
518
00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:06,071
They're not gonna say anything
till after the game.
519
00:25:06,155 --> 00:25:07,364
That makes sense.
520
00:25:07,406 --> 00:25:09,825
So what do you think?
Drug deal or steroids?
521
00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:11,368
I don't know. Maybe.
522
00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:14,121
Here, look at this.
He was sittin' on it.
523
00:25:14,482 --> 00:25:15,623
The playbook!
524
00:25:15,834 --> 00:25:17,708
- MONK: Playbook?
- Yeah.
525
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:20,669
Every player gets one.
The whole game plan's in here.
526
00:25:20,878 --> 00:25:22,880
[LAUGHING] Oh, oh...
Keep an eye on that.
527
00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:25,049
Yeah, uh, captain,
this is Sean Metzger,
528
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:27,051
David Gitelson's
personal driver.
529
00:25:27,134 --> 00:25:29,094
He was the last person
to see Gitelson alive.
530
00:25:29,178 --> 00:25:31,513
Well, like I told the lieutenant,
I dropped him off this morning,
531
00:25:31,722 --> 00:25:32,932
just like any game day.
532
00:25:33,015 --> 00:25:35,184
6:15, maybe 6:20.
533
00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,019
He went into the stadium,
and that was it.
534
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,187
I never saw him again.
535
00:25:38,270 --> 00:25:39,480
Did he say anything?
536
00:25:39,563 --> 00:25:40,898
Did he seem worried
about anything?
537
00:25:41,565 --> 00:25:42,942
Oh, no, sir, he was excited,
538
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:44,693
up for the game.
539
00:25:44,777 --> 00:25:46,070
Uh, you have a...
540
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,489
You have a smudge there.
541
00:25:49,156 --> 00:25:50,616
What happened there?
542
00:25:50,699 --> 00:25:53,410
What happened?
I don't know.
543
00:25:53,511 --> 00:25:55,760
Do you remember every little smudge
you ever got on your clothing?
544
00:25:56,038 --> 00:25:58,415
Yes. Yes, I do.
545
00:26:03,379 --> 00:26:05,381
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monk...
546
00:26:05,589 --> 00:26:06,715
I had a beer.
Is that a crime?
547
00:26:06,924 --> 00:26:09,385
Uh, no.
No. No, it isn't.
548
00:26:09,593 --> 00:26:10,928
Is that it?
Can I go?
549
00:26:11,011 --> 00:26:12,805
This... This whole thing
is kinda freaking me out.
550
00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:14,348
I'd like to get on
and try to shake it off.
551
00:26:14,431 --> 00:26:15,849
Yeah, sure, you can go,
552
00:26:15,933 --> 00:26:18,227
but make sure the lieutenant
knows where you are.
553
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:20,771
Why are you letting him go?
554
00:26:20,854 --> 00:26:22,815
Because, Monk,
I-I can't hold him.
555
00:26:22,898 --> 00:26:24,149
He's... He's just a witness.
556
00:26:24,233 --> 00:26:26,527
That was a charcoal
smudge on his jacket
557
00:26:26,610 --> 00:26:28,862
and the smell of gasoline
on his lapel.
558
00:26:28,946 --> 00:26:30,280
You're still on the grill.
559
00:26:30,364 --> 00:26:31,699
What grill?
560
00:26:31,991 --> 00:26:35,285
Somebody's barbecue grill caught
fire right before kickoff...
561
00:26:35,380 --> 00:26:36,923
So what does that
have to do with Gitelson?
562
00:26:37,009 --> 00:26:37,970
Good question.
563
00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:39,707
I think somehow
they're connected.
564
00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:44,003
Okay, look.
It's your day off.
565
00:26:44,086 --> 00:26:45,796
There's nothing more
you can do here.
566
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,132
You two go and enjoy the game.
I'll take care of this.
567
00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:49,020
Really?
568
00:26:49,121 --> 00:26:51,010
Well, yeah, turns out
it's not our case anyway.
569
00:26:51,093 --> 00:26:53,637
Chief Brenner just called,
and he's sending a squad down.
570
00:26:53,679 --> 00:26:55,889
I'm supposed to stick around
and bring him up to speed.
571
00:26:55,973 --> 00:26:57,474
Ha! Did you hear that?
572
00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:59,226
It's not our case.
Let's go.
573
00:26:59,435 --> 00:27:00,936
Enjoy the game!
574
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:02,271
Oh, hey, uh...
575
00:27:03,022 --> 00:27:05,232
Tell Bob Costas
Randy Disher says hi.
576
00:27:06,191 --> 00:27:07,276
Does he know you?
577
00:27:07,609 --> 00:27:08,610
No.
578
00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:12,114
Well, then, wouldn't
that just confuse him?
579
00:27:12,656 --> 00:27:14,658
Only one way to find out.
580
00:27:15,993 --> 00:27:17,995
Yeah. Come on.
581
00:27:18,662 --> 00:27:19,788
Let's go!
582
00:27:20,122 --> 00:27:21,790
Go, Condors!
583
00:27:29,006 --> 00:27:30,424
Oh, hell.
584
00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:32,259
I'm sorry, I... I can't do it.
585
00:27:32,301 --> 00:27:34,386
Of course you can, Monk.
What happened to the off switch?
586
00:27:34,470 --> 00:27:36,013
Come on, clickety-click,
click, click.
587
00:27:36,096 --> 00:27:38,223
- It's not working.
- For the love of God.
588
00:27:38,307 --> 00:27:40,100
I think we should talk
to that guy again,
589
00:27:40,142 --> 00:27:42,728
that Chet Walsh
with the funny foamy finger.
590
00:27:42,853 --> 00:27:44,897
Remember? He had this
big, foamy finger...
591
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,732
I know who you mean, Monk.
592
00:27:46,815 --> 00:27:49,151
He said he saw Gitelson
this morning!
593
00:27:49,234 --> 00:27:51,653
Look, Monk...
594
00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:54,656
It's out of our jurisdiction.
It's not our case.
595
00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,658
We'll just be in the way, okay?
596
00:27:56,742 --> 00:27:59,328
Come on, every good cop knows
you can't be in it 24/7.
597
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:01,163
Even God took a day off.
598
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:03,332
And what day did he take off?
It was Sunday.
599
00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:05,751
Why did he take off Sunday?
I'll tell you why Sunday.
600
00:28:05,834 --> 00:28:07,711
So he could watch football!
601
00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,546
Huh? Come on!
602
00:28:09,713 --> 00:28:11,924
- You used to be a fun guy.
- I don't think so.
603
00:28:12,007 --> 00:28:13,801
Yeah. No, I remember.
604
00:28:13,884 --> 00:28:17,012
I remember the time
when you graduated, right?
605
00:28:17,096 --> 00:28:19,348
We stole that rowboat,
you, me, and Trudy.
606
00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:21,100
And the lake patrol stopped us,
607
00:28:21,183 --> 00:28:22,518
and you started
speaking Spanish.
608
00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:24,144
Now, that was funny!
609
00:28:24,228 --> 00:28:26,730
That was funny!
Where's that guy?
610
00:28:26,814 --> 00:28:28,440
Trudy died.
611
00:28:30,526 --> 00:28:33,320
Yes, Trudy died,
but you didn't die.
612
00:28:33,570 --> 00:28:35,280
You're alive.
613
00:28:35,823 --> 00:28:37,366
Alive is a funny word.
614
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,995
Could I have my ticket, please?
615
00:28:47,709 --> 00:28:49,169
Wait a second.
616
00:28:51,171 --> 00:28:53,382
'Cause I'm goin' in there
with or without you.
617
00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:02,808
- [HORN HONKING]
- Hey, what's your problem?
618
00:29:02,891 --> 00:29:05,227
Move the car!
Move it, I'm trying to get out!
619
00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:07,312
It's called reverse.
You can't miss it.
620
00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:09,022
It's a big "R"!
621
00:29:09,439 --> 00:29:10,732
MAN:
Jerk!
622
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:17,739
You again.
623
00:29:17,948 --> 00:29:19,449
Yes, sir.
Me again.
624
00:29:19,741 --> 00:29:21,285
You're missing the game.
625
00:29:22,119 --> 00:29:24,746
Maybe the real game
is out here in the parking lot.
626
00:29:24,830 --> 00:29:26,415
Have you been siphoning gas?
627
00:29:26,665 --> 00:29:28,834
From my own car?
Why would I do that?
628
00:29:29,376 --> 00:29:31,378
I don't know.
You tell me.
629
00:29:31,587 --> 00:29:33,505
No. You tell me.
630
00:29:33,714 --> 00:29:35,424
No you tell me.
631
00:29:37,384 --> 00:29:39,178
Look, I don't know what
you're talkin' about, okay?
632
00:29:39,261 --> 00:29:40,929
They said I could leave,
so I'm leaving.
633
00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:42,639
We had an explosion here today.
634
00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:43,891
The guy was burned.
635
00:29:44,099 --> 00:29:46,268
Name was Chet Walsh.
636
00:29:47,144 --> 00:29:48,437
Never heard of him.
637
00:29:48,645 --> 00:29:51,523
Football Jersey.
Big Condors fan.
638
00:29:51,565 --> 00:29:53,525
Drunk, yelling all the time.
639
00:29:53,609 --> 00:29:54,860
It's a tailgate party.
640
00:29:54,943 --> 00:29:56,236
You're describing
everybody here.
641
00:29:56,445 --> 00:29:58,363
I'm pretty sure
you know this guy...
642
00:29:58,447 --> 00:30:00,949
'cause you tried to kill him
about an hour ago.
643
00:30:01,241 --> 00:30:02,492
Why would I do that?
644
00:30:02,701 --> 00:30:04,244
I don't know.
645
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:05,829
You don't know much, do you?
646
00:30:08,165 --> 00:30:09,750
Would you move away
from the car, please?
647
00:30:09,833 --> 00:30:11,335
I'm going home.
648
00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:24,473
Sean Metzger!
[HONKS]
649
00:30:24,681 --> 00:30:26,099
You can try and leave
this stadium.
650
00:30:26,183 --> 00:30:27,643
You can drive away...
651
00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:29,521
but you're not really
going anywhere.
652
00:30:29,599 --> 00:30:30,410
[HONKING]
653
00:30:30,604 --> 00:30:32,981
The wheels of justice
may turn slowly,
654
00:30:33,315 --> 00:30:34,399
but...
655
00:30:36,318 --> 00:30:37,778
sooner or later...
656
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,200
they always...
657
00:30:44,785 --> 00:30:46,203
wind up...
658
00:30:48,872 --> 00:30:50,249
What was the question again?
659
00:30:50,332 --> 00:30:52,149
You said you were here
about 6:30 this morning.
660
00:30:52,334 --> 00:30:55,087
You saw Davy Gitelson
coming through that door...
661
00:30:55,203 --> 00:30:56,246
Right.
662
00:30:56,338 --> 00:30:58,298
Right. And you
asked him for an autograph,
663
00:30:58,382 --> 00:30:59,508
but he ignored you.
664
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:00,801
- Right.
- Right.
665
00:31:00,884 --> 00:31:02,761
You said he was upset
about something.
666
00:31:02,844 --> 00:31:03,971
Right!
667
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,807
He kept repeating something
over and over.
668
00:31:06,890 --> 00:31:08,433
Right!
669
00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,896
What was he yelling?
670
00:31:13,355 --> 00:31:14,815
Chet!
671
00:31:15,023 --> 00:31:16,733
Out of order!
672
00:31:16,817 --> 00:31:19,194
"It's out of order."
That's what he kept sayin'.
673
00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,946
What... What was out of order?
674
00:31:21,029 --> 00:31:22,322
I don't know!
675
00:31:22,406 --> 00:31:24,658
Musta been... somethin'!
676
00:31:25,325 --> 00:31:26,535
Something.
677
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:28,870
That's a big help. Thanks.
678
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:40,799
It's not the phone.
679
00:31:42,676 --> 00:31:45,095
Something is out of order.
680
00:31:46,096 --> 00:31:49,099
It's out of order.
Must be inside.
681
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:54,604
[BEEP]
682
00:31:54,813 --> 00:31:55,856
Whoa ho ho ho ho!
683
00:31:55,939 --> 00:31:57,566
It's an all-access pass.
684
00:31:57,774 --> 00:31:59,026
Come on.
685
00:31:59,526 --> 00:32:00,777
Dude!
686
00:32:02,529 --> 00:32:04,698
You're like my best friend.
687
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,950
You wanna hear something sad?
688
00:32:07,034 --> 00:32:08,910
You're my best friend too.
689
00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:10,287
Oh...
690
00:32:17,169 --> 00:32:19,629
So the Wildcats
take yet another time out,
691
00:32:19,755 --> 00:32:23,258
and with the score still tied,
we'll be back right after this.
692
00:32:24,134 --> 00:32:26,595
- So he was murdered, huh?
- Yeah.
693
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:27,971
I still can't believe it!
694
00:32:28,055 --> 00:32:29,973
Well, you know, these
things happen every day.
695
00:32:30,057 --> 00:32:31,433
Yeah, but it's heartbreaking.
696
00:32:31,516 --> 00:32:32,726
Where's Adrian?
697
00:32:32,793 --> 00:32:34,587
Oh, he's outside.
He's workin' the case.
698
00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:36,480
- He can't give it up.
- That's just like him.
699
00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:38,690
The monomaniacal
Mr. Monk.
700
00:32:38,899 --> 00:32:40,233
Did he ever tell you how we met?
701
00:32:40,442 --> 00:32:41,735
No, not really.
702
00:32:41,777 --> 00:32:44,321
He mentioned something
about a demented cat salesman.
703
00:32:44,404 --> 00:32:45,864
Well, no, that's not it exactly.
704
00:32:45,906 --> 00:32:47,532
There's a distinction here,
and it's really...
705
00:32:47,616 --> 00:32:48,742
It's fascinating.
706
00:32:48,784 --> 00:32:51,411
The cat salesman
was not demented.
707
00:32:51,495 --> 00:32:53,789
He sold demented cats.
708
00:32:54,831 --> 00:32:56,625
No, no, but really, understand.
709
00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:59,753
He had a Siamese
who was manic-depressive.
710
00:32:59,836 --> 00:33:01,922
He had a paranoid Persian.
711
00:33:02,005 --> 00:33:04,716
The guy tried to sell me
a Calico kitten
712
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,511
who was completely
psychotic... evil!
713
00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:09,513
I mean, it tried to kill me.
The kitten tried to kill me.
714
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:12,182
Mm-hmm. Okay, nice game
though, huh?
715
00:33:12,265 --> 00:33:14,017
- It... It's a great game.
- Yeah!
716
00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:16,895
He had a Burmese...
multiple personalities.
717
00:33:16,978 --> 00:33:18,814
One of which was a dog.
718
00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:20,732
That's how weird it was.
719
00:33:20,816 --> 00:33:22,526
I'm not really a cat person.
720
00:33:22,609 --> 00:33:23,985
Well, it's...
These are the facts.
721
00:33:24,069 --> 00:33:25,487
I'm just tellin' ya.
722
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:31,993
This one works?
723
00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:33,245
They all work.
724
00:33:34,204 --> 00:33:36,665
So what was out of order?
725
00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:39,251
[CHEWING] I don't know.
It's like a mystery.
726
00:33:39,334 --> 00:33:40,919
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- Oh!
727
00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:44,965
This is Chet!
728
00:33:46,341 --> 00:33:47,801
What are they offering?
729
00:33:47,884 --> 00:33:50,554
Don't kid yourself.
55 million means 70 million.
730
00:33:50,637 --> 00:33:52,556
We don't counter
till they hit the number.
731
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,141
I'll call ya later.
732
00:33:54,933 --> 00:33:56,560
Who are you?
733
00:33:56,643 --> 00:33:59,438
Hedge fund manager.
But not today.
734
00:33:59,604 --> 00:34:01,273
Condors!
735
00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:05,026
All right, here's the snap.
Wildcats blitzing.
736
00:34:05,110 --> 00:34:07,696
And it's picked off again!
737
00:34:07,904 --> 00:34:10,031
That's the third
Condor turnover.
738
00:34:10,198 --> 00:34:11,908
The defensive coordinator
of the Wildcats,
739
00:34:11,992 --> 00:34:13,201
Brian Binsack,
740
00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:16,121
has been one step ahead
of the Condors all game long.
741
00:34:16,204 --> 00:34:18,373
It's almost as if
he's reading their minds.
742
00:34:18,915 --> 00:34:20,584
You know, with head coach
Kent McFarland
743
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:23,295
scheduled to retire at the
end of the year for the Wildcats,
744
00:34:23,378 --> 00:34:24,838
I'd say the way
things are going,
745
00:34:25,005 --> 00:34:27,215
Binsack is a shoe-in
to get the job.
746
00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:28,758
I got it!
747
00:34:29,843 --> 00:34:31,720
I know who killed Davy Gitelson.
748
00:34:39,436 --> 00:34:40,979
It wasn't a vending machine.
749
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,065
I can't help but wonder
what we're talkin' about.
750
00:34:44,733 --> 00:34:47,319
Something
was out of order, right?
751
00:34:47,402 --> 00:34:48,737
But it wasn't any machine.
752
00:34:49,029 --> 00:34:50,405
It was the playbook.
753
00:34:50,614 --> 00:34:52,824
The team playbook!
754
00:34:53,074 --> 00:34:54,409
I remember now.
755
00:34:55,285 --> 00:34:56,578
I saw the book.
756
00:34:56,745 --> 00:34:58,955
Some of the pages were mixed up.
757
00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:02,751
Here's what happened.
758
00:35:04,044 --> 00:35:05,795
His limo driver, Sean Metzger,
759
00:35:05,879 --> 00:35:09,674
was in a perfect position
to steal the Condors' playbook.
760
00:35:09,925 --> 00:35:11,301
He probably only had
a few minutes.
761
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:14,137
He made a quick copy,
and at some point,
762
00:35:14,304 --> 00:35:16,181
the pages must have gotten
mixed up.
763
00:35:18,975 --> 00:35:20,602
He sold the Xeroxed copy
764
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:22,646
to that coach from the Wildcats.
765
00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:24,606
He made a few bucks.
766
00:35:25,482 --> 00:35:27,484
He probably thought
that was the end of it.
767
00:35:27,609 --> 00:35:29,778
But this morning,
after he got dropped off,
768
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:32,906
Gitelson realized
something was wrong.
769
00:35:36,243 --> 00:35:38,662
It's out of order!
It's all out of order!
770
00:35:38,828 --> 00:35:40,080
- Ha!
- What?
771
00:35:40,288 --> 00:35:41,873
- Will you sign that?
- No, look, I'm looking for somebody.
772
00:35:42,082 --> 00:35:43,708
MONK:
He figured out what happened.
773
00:35:43,792 --> 00:35:46,044
He went looking for the driver.
774
00:35:51,508 --> 00:35:53,260
- Did you sell me out?
- What are you talking about?
775
00:35:53,301 --> 00:35:55,095
No, don't lie to me, man.
I'm calling the cops.
776
00:35:55,679 --> 00:35:58,682
MONK: The fight must have escalated.
Metzger panicked.
777
00:36:01,351 --> 00:36:03,311
But the gates had already opened.
778
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:05,355
Fans were just starting to show up.
779
00:36:05,438 --> 00:36:08,275
Metzger was racing the clock.
He was improvising.
780
00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:12,237
He had to hide the body
in plain sight.
781
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,448
That's why Metzger
was trying to kill you.
782
00:36:15,532 --> 00:36:16,950
He saw you two talking.
783
00:36:16,992 --> 00:36:19,035
He thought you knew too much.
784
00:36:19,661 --> 00:36:21,580
Hedge fund manager.
785
00:36:21,705 --> 00:36:23,206
Yeah, that makes sense.
786
00:36:23,290 --> 00:36:25,458
What do we do now,
call the cops?
787
00:36:25,542 --> 00:36:27,127
No. There's not
enough time.
788
00:36:27,210 --> 00:36:29,546
If he destroys that playbook,
we don't have a case.
789
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:31,590
It's probably
in the locker room.
790
00:36:33,008 --> 00:36:34,050
What?
791
00:36:34,259 --> 00:36:36,845
Well, this morning,
the Condors were favored by 12,
792
00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:38,179
but the Wildcat defense
793
00:36:38,263 --> 00:36:40,724
has played a nearly flawless
first two quarters of football,
794
00:36:40,807 --> 00:36:43,393
and as we send you back to
the studio for the halftime show,
795
00:36:43,476 --> 00:36:46,062
it's all tied up 10 to 10.
796
00:36:46,688 --> 00:36:48,940
10 to 10.
797
00:36:49,149 --> 00:36:50,525
Monk'd love that, huh?
798
00:36:50,775 --> 00:36:52,360
[SIGHS]
Yep.
799
00:37:03,038 --> 00:37:05,582
MAN: All right,
everybody settle down!
800
00:37:06,082 --> 00:37:08,251
Settle down!
Eyes up front.
801
00:37:09,169 --> 00:37:12,172
That was a good first half.
But we have a long way to go.
802
00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:14,382
The key is to maintain control.
803
00:37:14,507 --> 00:37:15,634
Stay focused.
804
00:37:15,842 --> 00:37:18,511
They're gonna try to change some
things up on us in the second half.
805
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,055
Look for the triple option...
806
00:37:20,138 --> 00:37:21,765
Out of the wishbone formation.
807
00:37:21,973 --> 00:37:24,142
Triple option? Coach, I haven't
seen that since college.
808
00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:26,603
Well, you're gonna
see it today... you count on it.
809
00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:29,105
Probably on their
first possession.
810
00:37:29,272 --> 00:37:30,774
All right, Dante, take us home.
811
00:37:30,857 --> 00:37:32,817
Okay, guys, let's take a knee.
812
00:37:36,613 --> 00:37:40,325
Lord, let your light continue
to shine on this team today.
813
00:37:40,742 --> 00:37:42,410
Give us the wisdom
and the strength
814
00:37:42,535 --> 00:37:45,538
to accept whatever fortune
befalls this team today.
815
00:37:45,789 --> 00:37:48,500
Give us the power
to devour the other team.
816
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,377
Give us the strength
and the discipline
817
00:37:50,585 --> 00:37:54,297
to remain calm
in all hard times.
818
00:37:54,923 --> 00:37:57,467
Help us dominate
the other side, lord.
819
00:37:57,550 --> 00:38:01,137
Give us the power to just
totally annihilate the other team.
820
00:38:01,763 --> 00:38:02,931
Amen.
821
00:38:03,014 --> 00:38:03,973
ALL:
Amen.
822
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:05,475
Hey, that's our playbook!
823
00:38:05,892 --> 00:38:07,977
No, no, this is
not your playbook!
824
00:38:08,186 --> 00:38:09,562
This is stolen property.
825
00:38:09,729 --> 00:38:11,856
I'm a former police officer.
Here's the thing...
826
00:38:12,524 --> 00:38:14,109
Wildcats suck!
827
00:38:14,317 --> 00:38:16,403
Security, get that playbook!
828
00:38:17,404 --> 00:38:19,656
Security!
Get that book!
829
00:38:26,955 --> 00:38:28,039
- Hey, Bob.
- Yeah.
830
00:38:28,123 --> 00:38:29,207
I gotta go.
831
00:38:29,290 --> 00:38:30,792
Now?
It's only halftime.
832
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:32,127
Yeah, I know.
You've been great.
833
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:33,586
- Thank you for everything.
- No problem.
834
00:38:33,670 --> 00:38:36,089
But my best friend,
great guy, an amazing guy,
835
00:38:36,172 --> 00:38:40,135
I left him downstairs alone,
and he deserves better.
836
00:38:40,343 --> 00:38:42,053
Sure. I-I understand.
837
00:38:42,387 --> 00:38:43,930
Is he with Monk?
838
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,978
Security!
Get that book!
839
00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:52,689
Get him!
Get the book!
840
00:38:53,148 --> 00:38:55,233
LELAND:
Monk! Monk!
841
00:38:56,109 --> 00:38:57,444
Monk!
842
00:39:11,875 --> 00:39:13,168
Monk!
843
00:39:19,340 --> 00:39:20,508
[LAUGHING]
844
00:39:21,634 --> 00:39:23,344
Is the game over?
845
00:39:24,053 --> 00:39:26,014
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
846
00:39:26,473 --> 00:39:28,057
Who won?
847
00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:30,101
[PANTING]
848
00:39:30,268 --> 00:39:31,644
We did.
849
00:39:37,275 --> 00:39:38,485
Back at Summit Stadium,
850
00:39:38,568 --> 00:39:40,153
where the Condors
have come from behind
851
00:39:40,236 --> 00:39:42,655
and defeated the Wildcats 27-24
852
00:39:42,739 --> 00:39:44,449
in one of the greatest
playoff games ever.
853
00:39:44,574 --> 00:39:47,368
Meanwhile, there was plenty
of drama away from the field,
854
00:39:47,452 --> 00:39:49,746
and here to tell us about it
is Captain Leland Stottlemeyer
855
00:39:49,829 --> 00:39:51,372
of the San Francisco police
856
00:39:51,456 --> 00:39:54,167
along with former detective
Adrian Monk.
857
00:39:54,250 --> 00:39:57,504
Uh, captain, we just saw the
defensive coach of the Wildcats
858
00:39:57,587 --> 00:39:59,380
led away from the stadium
in handcuffs.
859
00:39:59,464 --> 00:40:00,548
What can you tell us?
860
00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,967
Well, Mr. Binsack
has been arrested
861
00:40:03,051 --> 00:40:05,970
and charged with receipt
of stolen property.
862
00:40:06,054 --> 00:40:07,222
Monk...
863
00:40:07,305 --> 00:40:09,057
And, uh, I can also tell you
864
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,309
that Davy Gitelson's
personal driver
865
00:40:11,392 --> 00:40:13,061
has also been arrested
in Marin County.
866
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:14,145
Bob. Bob.
867
00:40:15,814 --> 00:40:18,024
Well, I'd say from the
standpoint of law enforcement,
868
00:40:18,107 --> 00:40:20,151
you and Mr. Monk
are the MVPs today.
869
00:40:20,235 --> 00:40:21,110
Hmm!
870
00:40:21,194 --> 00:40:23,154
You know,
for those who don't know,
871
00:40:23,238 --> 00:40:25,490
Adrian Monk is a legend
in San Francisco,
872
00:40:25,573 --> 00:40:27,826
and on a personal note,
a few years back,
873
00:40:27,867 --> 00:40:30,620
this man literally
saved my life.
874
00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:33,122
No, I-I wouldn't say that.
875
00:40:33,206 --> 00:40:34,415
- The truth...
- How can you say that?
876
00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:36,251
You were there!
The cat tried to kill me!
877
00:40:36,334 --> 00:40:37,877
You weren't really
in any danger.
878
00:40:37,961 --> 00:40:39,254
It was a little Calico cat.
879
00:40:39,295 --> 00:40:40,547
It was about this big.
880
00:40:40,630 --> 00:40:43,800
Wait a minute... you proved it.
You solved the case.
881
00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:45,552
The cat planned
the whole thing out.
882
00:40:45,593 --> 00:40:48,179
She was gonna kill me
with that squeeze toy.
883
00:40:48,763 --> 00:40:50,431
Yeah... the truth is
884
00:40:50,515 --> 00:40:52,183
[SOFTLY] I just wanted
to get out of the house.
885
00:40:52,267 --> 00:40:53,643
Yeah. Look, I think
we're done here.
886
00:40:53,726 --> 00:40:55,019
Cut to a commercial.
887
00:40:55,103 --> 00:40:56,396
I guess that does it.
888
00:40:56,479 --> 00:40:58,106
From Summit Stadium,
again the final...
889
00:40:58,189 --> 00:41:01,317
the Condors 27, the Wildcats 24.
890
00:41:01,401 --> 00:41:03,403
I'm Bob Costas saying so long.
891
00:41:03,444 --> 00:41:05,196
And one last time...
892
00:41:05,488 --> 00:41:09,200
the cat was definitely
trying to kill me.
893
00:41:10,118 --> 00:41:13,162
Randy's right.
This is better than being there.
894
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,587
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]