1 00:00:44,457 --> 00:00:48,496 - Ally, can we get a recap? - Remember the Kowolskis? 2 00:00:48,577 --> 00:00:52,729 They want to set a record by making Buffalo's largest cookie. 3 00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:54,694 - You have to wear this. - A hairnet? 4 00:00:54,777 --> 00:00:58,690 Health Department. If you're around the cookie, you have to have it on. 5 00:00:58,777 --> 00:01:00,096 I just did the hair. 6 00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:01,496 The hair is perfect. 7 00:01:01,577 --> 00:01:03,693 All right, give it to me. 8 00:01:05,697 --> 00:01:09,053 God... why do you hate me? 9 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,776 We're rolling. And speed. 10 00:01:11,857 --> 00:01:14,530 For three decades, the Kowolski Bakery 11 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:17,415 has been a mainstay in downtown Buffalo, 12 00:01:17,497 --> 00:01:21,046 known for their sinfully sweet, cream-filled Polski pierogies 13 00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:24,925 and the occasional sugar-induced coma that follows. 14 00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:27,736 Today, in honour of their 30th anniversary, 15 00:01:27,817 --> 00:01:31,571 they've invited us to ride along as they go for the record 16 00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:34,487 on Buffalo's biggest cookie. 17 00:01:37,057 --> 00:01:40,811 Vol. Do you need a tissue or something? 18 00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:43,457 Can we get Vol a tissue? Or a spoon? 19 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,334 Good thing we're wearing these. 20 00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:48,648 I wouldn't want any stray hairs to fall into the booger. 21 00:01:48,737 --> 00:01:51,410 - We doing this again? - No. We can cut to B roll. 22 00:01:51,497 --> 00:01:52,725 Moving on! 23 00:01:52,817 --> 00:01:57,015 Tell me, Mama, why make Buffalo's biggest cookie? 24 00:01:57,497 --> 00:02:04,175 Well, man from Health Department say he find rat pellet in our pastry. 25 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:08,489 But I say no, is big chocolate sprinkle. 26 00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:11,216 But he shut store down. 27 00:02:11,377 --> 00:02:13,732 So we clean up, 28 00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:17,890 make big cookie for to bring customers back. 29 00:02:19,177 --> 00:02:21,133 Well, I admire your candour. 30 00:02:21,217 --> 00:02:23,014 Let's try that again, shall we? 31 00:02:23,097 --> 00:02:26,976 Tell me, Mama, why make Buffalo's biggest cookie? 32 00:02:27,737 --> 00:02:32,015 So the children of the neighbourhood will be happy. 33 00:02:32,097 --> 00:02:35,646 It must be wonderful seeing the smiles on their little faces. 34 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,246 I work in back. I see no smiles. 35 00:02:42,337 --> 00:02:46,455 The previous record was 8 feet 7 inches, baked by Gladys Pelsnick. 36 00:02:46,537 --> 00:02:49,415 If this cookie beats that, it will prove 37 00:02:49,497 --> 00:02:51,647 the Kowolskis have much more free time. 38 00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:55,366 And the cookie is... 10 feet, 4 inches! 39 00:02:55,457 --> 00:02:58,017 We have a new record! 40 00:02:58,617 --> 00:03:01,290 Cue the cheesy inspirational music! 41 00:03:18,337 --> 00:03:20,646 But what are we really looking at here? 42 00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:22,534 Is it just a big cookie? 43 00:03:22,617 --> 00:03:25,654 Or does this cookie represent the pride of Buffalo? 44 00:03:25,737 --> 00:03:28,968 Its hard-working citizens the key ingredient - 45 00:03:29,057 --> 00:03:31,048 with a few nuts thrown in. 46 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:34,053 And finally, the love of our families, 47 00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:36,776 which provides the warm centre, 48 00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:41,135 making our beloved Buffalo the sweetest place to live. 49 00:03:41,217 --> 00:03:43,970 And that's the way the cookie crumbles. 50 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,969 I'm Bruce Nolan, Eyewitness News. 51 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,928 And cut. 52 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,574 So what do you think? 53 00:03:52,657 --> 00:03:54,056 It's really good. 54 00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:56,697 It sucks. It's a story about a cookie. 55 00:03:56,777 --> 00:03:59,974 The Pillsbury Doughboy would be riveted. 56 00:04:00,057 --> 00:04:04,289 It made me laugh. Nothing wrong with making people laugh. 57 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:07,926 I'll never be an anchorman. The job's there, but I can't reach it. 58 00:04:08,017 --> 00:04:12,807 Every time they make me do this kind of stuff I have to act like a goof. 59 00:04:12,897 --> 00:04:16,207 I have no credibility. Not good. 60 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,572 - Now you just sound silly. - Forget it. 61 00:04:18,657 --> 00:04:22,172 It's not important. Let's watch it one more time. 62 00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:24,208 - No. - Once more? Please? 63 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,687 No! You promised to help me with this photo album. 64 00:04:28,777 --> 00:04:30,893 Now get your goo-ey butt over here. 65 00:04:35,337 --> 00:04:37,328 Looking. 66 00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:38,926 OK. 67 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:42,976 Just go through this stack and pick your favorites. 68 00:04:47,657 --> 00:04:49,454 Come on. This is fun, right? 69 00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:51,528 Isn't this fun? This is nice. 70 00:04:52,497 --> 00:04:54,408 Evan's going to get that anchor job. 71 00:04:54,497 --> 00:04:56,089 - Bruce! - He's the favorite. 72 00:04:56,177 --> 00:04:59,806 You know what? Just forget it. This is just our life. 73 00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:02,855 We can always just have some kid do it for us. 74 00:05:03,617 --> 00:05:05,369 Hold the phone. 75 00:05:05,457 --> 00:05:07,925 I like this one. Our weekend at the lake. 76 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,929 That's supposed to be in our private stash. 77 00:05:11,017 --> 00:05:14,248 - You look perky. Must have been cold. - Give it to me. 78 00:05:14,337 --> 00:05:16,692 I think I'll put this on my computer. 79 00:05:16,777 --> 00:05:18,733 - Give it to me. Come on. - No! 80 00:05:18,817 --> 00:05:20,887 Fine. Do with it what you will. 81 00:05:20,977 --> 00:05:22,649 I don't care. 82 00:05:22,737 --> 00:05:25,126 - I will do with it what I will. - Jesus. 83 00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,407 I might even send this in to Playboy. 84 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:33,251 - Their layouts can be quite tasteful. - Give that to me right now! 85 00:05:34,217 --> 00:05:36,208 - Rough stuff. - I'm going to hurt you. 86 00:05:41,737 --> 00:05:43,853 Sweetie? Time to get up. 87 00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:48,288 Good dream. No. 88 00:05:57,617 --> 00:06:02,088 The Buffalo Sabres lost again last night to the Toronto Maple Leafs. 89 00:06:02,177 --> 00:06:04,532 Of course they did. They're my team. 90 00:06:04,857 --> 00:06:06,848 That's the way the cookie crumbles. 91 00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:09,815 There might be something to this cookie line. 92 00:06:09,897 --> 00:06:15,290 The greatest anchors have a signature sign-off. Like Walter Cronkite. 93 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,372 And that's the way it was. 94 00:06:19,457 --> 00:06:22,654 That's the way the cookie crumbles. 95 00:06:22,737 --> 00:06:27,094 That's the way I like it 96 00:06:28,217 --> 00:06:29,570 Oh, no. 97 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,171 - Grace, the dog! - I'm in the shower! 98 00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:38,609 No, Sam. Bad dog. 99 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,927 Inside, bad. Outside, good. 100 00:06:47,737 --> 00:06:49,728 You're done now. Great. 101 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,450 B-E-A-utiful. 102 00:06:55,177 --> 00:06:57,816 Come on. Let's go back in and have a shit. 103 00:07:03,057 --> 00:07:06,015 - What is the dillio? - We are having a blood drive. 104 00:07:06,977 --> 00:07:09,332 - Needles. Yuck. - They need my blood. 105 00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:12,693 I have a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive. 106 00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,847 Really? I'm IB positive. 107 00:07:14,937 --> 00:07:18,850 I B positive they ain't touching me with no needle. It's just so... 108 00:07:18,937 --> 00:07:21,656 - Helpful and life-saving? - No. It's blood. 109 00:07:21,737 --> 00:07:25,207 Blood is supposed to stay inside the body, where it's meant to be. 110 00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:29,131 Besides, they stockpile this stuff in a warehouse, it's all on ice, 111 00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:30,969 and they say there's a shortage. 112 00:07:31,057 --> 00:07:32,968 Where did you hear that? 113 00:07:33,057 --> 00:07:34,934 From a friend of a friend 114 00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:38,487 of a girl whose sister is going out with someone in the government. 115 00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:40,852 For your protection, I cannot discuss it. 116 00:07:40,937 --> 00:07:43,246 Now get out, before they see us together. 117 00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:49,850 Here. You need these more than I do. 118 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,336 What is "these"? 119 00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,567 Prayer beads. The kids made them for me. 120 00:07:53,657 --> 00:07:57,445 - They will keep you safe. - I hope they're powerful. 121 00:07:57,537 --> 00:08:00,927 I'm going to need a friggin' miracle to get to work on time. 122 00:08:11,097 --> 00:08:14,692 This isn't happening. Not now. Not during sweeps week. 123 00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,574 Oh, God. 124 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,851 Yup, meeting started without me. 125 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,451 This is my luck. 126 00:08:33,057 --> 00:08:35,048 Come on. 127 00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:40,568 Jesus. 128 00:08:40,697 --> 00:08:42,688 Get out of there! 129 00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:49,615 "Are you blind?" No, but I'm late. 130 00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:54,535 Is your child in dire jeopardy? 131 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,608 Find out tonight after the game. 132 00:08:56,697 --> 00:08:58,369 Promos are approved. 133 00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:01,529 Jack? Shouldn't we be focusing on Pete's retirement? 134 00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:04,973 - This is his last week. - Any word on the anchor position? 135 00:09:05,057 --> 00:09:07,935 Evan, when I know something, you'll know something. 136 00:09:08,737 --> 00:09:10,329 Sorry I'm late. 137 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,692 Traffic was... 138 00:09:12,777 --> 00:09:14,529 Did you already play the spots? 139 00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:17,256 Nice story, but we're going with Evan's piece. 140 00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:20,568 The sex scandal in the mayor's office for sweeps. 141 00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:24,611 Yeah. Sweeps. 142 00:09:25,217 --> 00:09:27,447 And that's the way the cookie crumbles. 143 00:09:29,137 --> 00:09:31,128 I'm just messing with you, Bruce. 144 00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:37,213 See, you just gotta remember that the newsroom is like a big cookie. 145 00:09:38,937 --> 00:09:42,612 Do you like jazz, Evan? Let me play something for you. 146 00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:52,090 - I can hold that note all day. - Knock it off, guys. 147 00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:54,733 We'll keep your story in reserve. 148 00:09:54,817 --> 00:09:58,810 Can we get back to the board so we'll have something to put on the air today? 149 00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:02,606 Great choice, Jack. The Cadillac of bolognas. 150 00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:04,494 Jack, can I talk to you? 151 00:10:04,577 --> 00:10:07,137 - Sure. What do you need? - Sweeps. 152 00:10:07,217 --> 00:10:10,926 Jack, hear me out. I'm starting to get desperate. 153 00:10:11,057 --> 00:10:13,252 I'm pushing 40 and what have I got to show? 154 00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:17,649 I've hit a kind of ceiling. There's an anti-Bruce barrier I can't get past. 155 00:10:17,737 --> 00:10:20,934 And Evan is loving it. 156 00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:24,805 He gets the stories, he gets on sweeps... I should be more like Evan. 157 00:10:24,897 --> 00:10:27,013 Don't be like Evan. Evan's an asshole. 158 00:10:27,097 --> 00:10:29,816 - I can be an asshole. - No, Bruce. You can't. 159 00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:37,176 - You going to pick that up? - Yeah. I'm sorry. 160 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:40,886 This anchor thing opening up has got me nuts. 161 00:10:40,977 --> 00:10:42,968 - Hi, Susan. - Hi, Jack. 162 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:48,328 You're a good reporter. You make people laugh. 163 00:10:50,097 --> 00:10:51,689 All right. I'll tell you what. 164 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:54,928 Today is the 156th anniversary of the Maid Of The Mist. 165 00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:59,249 - I want you in Niagara Falls in an hour. - The Maid Of The Mist is always live. 166 00:11:00,777 --> 00:11:04,975 - Evan always does the live feeds. - Now you and Evan get the live feeds. 167 00:11:05,057 --> 00:11:07,207 I'm going live? During sweeps? 168 00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:09,606 Watch your step. I've seen your outtakes. 169 00:11:09,697 --> 00:11:11,574 Jack, you will not regret this. 170 00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:15,097 And I won't forget you when I go national. 171 00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:16,769 Can you...? 172 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,768 Thanks, pal. 173 00:11:19,857 --> 00:11:23,532 Can I have your wish now? I'll put it in the wish jar. 174 00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:24,970 Put your wish in. 175 00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:27,048 - Me, too. - Put your wish in. 176 00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:29,414 That looks like a big wish. 177 00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:32,375 No, Martin, don't eat that. 178 00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:35,369 Don't put that in your mouth. That's paste, honey. 179 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,534 - That must have tasted awful. - Mommy! 180 00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:45,729 Did you have a good time with Aunt Gracie today? 181 00:11:45,817 --> 00:11:50,095 - See how nice this is? Baby on the hip. - It's amazing. You've become Mom. 182 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,407 The transformation is complete. 183 00:11:53,617 --> 00:11:54,766 I'll get it. 184 00:11:54,857 --> 00:11:56,654 - Small Wonders Day Care. - Grace? 185 00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:59,729 It's Debbie, the sister whose life you're not wasting. 186 00:11:59,817 --> 00:12:01,933 - OK. - Bye, Debbie! 187 00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:04,008 Hi. Sorry. 188 00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:06,975 Debbie forgot to take her meds today. Where are you? 189 00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:09,491 A little place called the winner's circle. 190 00:12:09,577 --> 00:12:11,693 I'm at the falls, doing a live report. 191 00:12:11,777 --> 00:12:13,688 Live? That's great! 192 00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:16,735 Yeah! It's happening, hon. I got sweeps and I'm live. 193 00:12:16,817 --> 00:12:19,012 They're seeing if I can think on my feet. 194 00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:21,850 Like I might have to do in a live anchor situation. 195 00:12:21,937 --> 00:12:23,529 Oh, my gosh. 196 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:27,292 Yeah! Jack practically came out and told me. 197 00:12:27,377 --> 00:12:28,605 Practically? 198 00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:31,495 He didn't spell it out. Legally, he can't. 199 00:12:31,577 --> 00:12:35,889 This is what happened to Susan Ortega before they bumped her up to the desk. 200 00:12:35,977 --> 00:12:38,093 It's good. 201 00:12:38,177 --> 00:12:42,170 Well, honey, I just don't want you to get too ahead of yourself. 202 00:12:42,257 --> 00:12:43,849 - Bruce. - I got to go! 203 00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:47,054 - They're calling me in. - OK, honey. Good luck. I love you. 204 00:12:49,257 --> 00:12:50,770 Let's do it. 205 00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:54,726 - They want you close to the falls. - I'm going to get soaked. 206 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:57,285 That's the point. They want you to put this on. 207 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,335 Part of the condition of us getting the exclusive. 208 00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:04,330 You know what? Nothing can bother me today. Nothing. 209 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,932 Now remember, it's their 156th-year anniversary. 210 00:13:08,017 --> 00:13:11,896 149 capacity. They cater to tourists, honeymooners... 211 00:13:11,977 --> 00:13:14,730 And people who are insanely thirsty. I get it. 212 00:13:14,817 --> 00:13:17,331 You're going to interview Irene Dansfield. 213 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:21,410 Irene, a pleasure to meet you. You look beautiful. 214 00:13:21,497 --> 00:13:23,772 Irene's mother rode on the maiden voyage. 215 00:13:23,857 --> 00:13:25,688 - Rub that in my face! - 90 seconds! 216 00:13:25,777 --> 00:13:27,210 Holy hell. 217 00:13:29,457 --> 00:13:31,413 Because of the fast response, 218 00:13:31,497 --> 00:13:35,376 the chemicals were cleaned up without incident. Susan? 219 00:13:35,457 --> 00:13:37,607 Bruce Nolan is at Niagara Falls. 220 00:13:37,697 --> 00:13:40,894 But before we go live to Bruce, we have an announcement. 221 00:13:40,977 --> 00:13:43,411 As everyone knows, after 33 years, 222 00:13:43,497 --> 00:13:46,728 our beloved Pete Fineman is retiring. 223 00:13:46,817 --> 00:13:51,288 Pete's shoes are virtually impossible to fill, but the show must go on. 224 00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:56,656 And we could think of no one better than our very own Evan Baxter. 225 00:13:59,017 --> 00:14:00,052 Oh, boy! 226 00:14:00,457 --> 00:14:03,051 - Congratulations. - I'm thrilled and honored. 227 00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:07,528 As you said, no one can replace Pete, but I will do my best. 228 00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:12,088 I am so proud to be a part of our local community of Buffalo. 229 00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:17,092 I think, in a lot of ways, a great city is like a great recipe, really. 230 00:14:17,177 --> 00:14:20,567 You take hard-working citizens, add some care-givers, 231 00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:22,409 maybe a few nuts! 232 00:14:25,577 --> 00:14:29,172 All sprinkled with the love and support of our good families. 233 00:14:29,257 --> 00:14:33,170 Ultimately, that makes one sweet place to live. 234 00:14:33,577 --> 00:14:36,649 - That was amazing. - I wish I'd written something. 235 00:14:36,737 --> 00:14:40,252 And now let's go live to that wacky Bruce Nolan at Niagara Falls. 236 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,009 Hey, wacky Bruce! 237 00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:49,368 - Talk, Bruce. Hello. - Talk, honey. 238 00:14:49,457 --> 00:14:51,254 - What's going on? - A Walt Disney. 239 00:14:51,337 --> 00:14:53,692 - It's frozen solid. - Check the feed. 240 00:14:53,777 --> 00:14:55,893 We may be having technical difficulty. 241 00:14:55,977 --> 00:14:57,854 - The feed's good, Jack. - Come on. 242 00:14:57,937 --> 00:15:01,566 - Talk, Bruce, damn it. - Get ready to pull the plug. 243 00:15:01,657 --> 00:15:04,046 Come on, baby. Say something! 244 00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,135 Bruce, talk. 245 00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,655 - Hi, Susan. - Thank you, God. 246 00:15:10,737 --> 00:15:12,056 Bruce Nolan here, 247 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:15,573 aboard the Maid Of The Mist in fabulous Niagara Falls, New York. 248 00:15:16,217 --> 00:15:20,210 First, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber. 249 00:15:20,297 --> 00:15:22,447 Pardon me, Bastard... Baxter. 250 00:15:22,537 --> 00:15:25,335 It is good to see what someone with real talent can do 251 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:28,568 when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. 252 00:15:29,977 --> 00:15:32,889 Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mom. 253 00:15:32,977 --> 00:15:37,528 Why did you throw the Heart of the Ocean jewel over the railing of the Titanic? 254 00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:40,532 Did you feel bad letting Leo DiCaprio drown 255 00:15:40,617 --> 00:15:42,926 while you were safe floating on the door? 256 00:15:43,017 --> 00:15:44,530 Could you have taken turns? 257 00:15:44,617 --> 00:15:47,973 Or were you too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off? 258 00:15:49,097 --> 00:15:50,769 I guess that's how life is. 259 00:15:50,857 --> 00:15:55,214 Some people are drenched, freezing on a stupid boat with a stupid hat, 260 00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:58,494 while others are in a news studio, sucking up the glory. 261 00:15:58,577 --> 00:16:00,568 Oh, well. No big deal. 262 00:16:01,897 --> 00:16:05,287 The owner of the Maid Of The Mist. Let's have a talk with him. 263 00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:08,255 Come on in here, Bill. No, let's have a talk. 264 00:16:08,337 --> 00:16:10,248 What are you doing? 265 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,409 You've been running the Maid Of The Mist for 23 years. 266 00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:15,533 Why do you think I didn't get anchor? 267 00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:18,051 - I don't want any problems. - Is it my hair? 268 00:16:18,137 --> 00:16:21,254 Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, 269 00:16:21,337 --> 00:16:26,286 is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me? 270 00:16:26,377 --> 00:16:31,527 Eroding! 271 00:16:32,977 --> 00:16:35,537 - Cut the feed. Go to black. - I'm on it. 272 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:40,891 I'm Bruce Nolan, for Eyewitness News. Back to you, fuckers! 273 00:16:42,497 --> 00:16:44,089 - Oh, boy. - Oh, my God. 274 00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:50,529 That is perfect. 275 00:16:50,617 --> 00:16:53,415 That is the motivation that I needed! 276 00:16:53,497 --> 00:16:55,567 Right there! Thank you! 277 00:16:56,977 --> 00:17:00,094 Thank you, WKBW. 278 00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:03,487 Wimpy... Kitty Baby Whiners! 279 00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:05,568 That's what that stands for! 280 00:17:07,137 --> 00:17:09,412 I'll see you on Channel 5. 281 00:17:09,497 --> 00:17:11,533 Where they do the real news! 282 00:17:12,777 --> 00:17:14,768 Do I look blind to you? 283 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,893 Let's go, man. Come on. 284 00:17:20,617 --> 00:17:22,414 What are you doing? 285 00:17:22,497 --> 00:17:24,613 Come on. Leave the poor guy alone! 286 00:17:25,537 --> 00:17:27,687 You OK, man? 287 00:17:28,897 --> 00:17:30,808 Yeah, you better keep walking. 288 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:34,174 - What'd you say, ese? - Run, man! 289 00:17:34,257 --> 00:17:36,248 Run! 290 00:17:37,217 --> 00:17:39,253 Oh, God! 291 00:17:41,417 --> 00:17:43,328 OK, I didn't mean it! 292 00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:46,735 - I was just kidding! - Hey, you forgot your things. 293 00:17:51,257 --> 00:17:53,248 Say something now! 294 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,415 B-E-A... 295 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,806 ...utiful. 296 00:18:06,137 --> 00:18:08,605 That's what I get... 297 00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:11,609 That's what I get for trying to help someone. 298 00:18:13,537 --> 00:18:15,892 Don't look at me, Walter. 299 00:18:15,977 --> 00:18:17,968 Oh, no! 300 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,008 That's my payment, I guess. 301 00:18:24,097 --> 00:18:26,406 That is my reward. 302 00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:34,493 Just? Just get a clue! 303 00:18:35,737 --> 00:18:37,329 Thank God you're all right. 304 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,533 God, yeah. Let's thank God. 305 00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:42,256 For his blessings are raining down upon me. 306 00:18:42,337 --> 00:18:45,249 - Wait! That's not rain! - Bruce, please don't do that. 307 00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:47,851 Everything happens for a reason. 308 00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:51,009 That I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful. 309 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,565 "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. " 310 00:18:53,657 --> 00:18:56,569 I have no bird! No bush! God has taken my bird and my bush. 311 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,694 I see. So God is picking on you? 312 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:02,086 No! He's ignoring me completely. 313 00:19:03,097 --> 00:19:05,531 He's busy giving Evan everything he wants. 314 00:19:06,617 --> 00:19:09,654 Great, Sam. But you missed your target. I'm over here! 315 00:19:09,737 --> 00:19:12,012 Don't get mad at the dog. It's not his fault. 316 00:19:12,097 --> 00:19:15,214 It's God's fault. He gave him the wrong co-ordinates. 317 00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:17,731 Enough! Will you stop being such a martyr? 318 00:19:17,817 --> 00:19:20,251 I am not being a martyr! I'm a victim! 319 00:19:20,337 --> 00:19:24,091 God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. 320 00:19:24,177 --> 00:19:26,293 He could fix my life if he wanted, 321 00:19:26,377 --> 00:19:29,574 but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm. 322 00:19:29,657 --> 00:19:31,932 Sweetheart, I know you're mad. 323 00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:35,407 What Evan did was slimy and wrong. 324 00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:38,807 This day could have been so much worse. I'm just glad you're OK. 325 00:19:39,017 --> 00:19:42,248 OK? News flash! I'm not OK. 326 00:19:42,337 --> 00:19:45,693 I'm not OK with a mediocre job! Or a mediocre apartment! 327 00:19:45,777 --> 00:19:48,337 I'm not OK with a mediocre life! 328 00:19:56,497 --> 00:19:59,489 Is that what you think we have? A mediocre life? 329 00:19:59,577 --> 00:20:01,488 Don't make this about you. 330 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:05,013 About me? How could I make this about me? 331 00:20:05,097 --> 00:20:08,214 It's about you. It's always about you. 332 00:20:08,297 --> 00:20:10,527 Perfect. 333 00:20:10,617 --> 00:20:14,895 I'll have the worst day of my life with a side order of guilt, please! 334 00:20:20,377 --> 00:20:23,767 OK, God. You want me to talk to you? 335 00:20:24,217 --> 00:20:27,015 Then talk back. Tell me what's going on. 336 00:20:27,097 --> 00:20:29,895 What should I do? Give me a signal. 337 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:36,085 I need your guidance, Lord. Please, send me a sign. 338 00:20:40,017 --> 00:20:42,008 Oh, what's this joker doing now? 339 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:50,290 OK. All right. I'll try it your way. 340 00:20:51,057 --> 00:20:55,767 All right. Lord... I need a miracle. 341 00:20:57,097 --> 00:20:58,769 I'm desperate. 342 00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:00,529 I need your help, Lord. 343 00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:02,847 Please, reach into my life... 344 00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,045 What the...? Where are you? 345 00:21:08,137 --> 00:21:10,128 Got you! 346 00:21:51,537 --> 00:21:52,856 Fine! 347 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,814 The gloves are off, pal! 348 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,252 Come on! Let me see a little wrath! 349 00:21:57,337 --> 00:22:01,012 Smite me, O mighty smiter! 350 00:22:01,857 --> 00:22:04,166 You're the one who should be fired! 351 00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:08,569 The only one around here not doing his job is you! 352 00:22:09,577 --> 00:22:11,568 Answer me! 353 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:27,968 Sorry. Don't know you. 354 00:22:28,937 --> 00:22:30,928 Wouldn't call you if I did. 355 00:22:43,217 --> 00:22:45,208 Oh, God! 356 00:22:51,497 --> 00:22:53,931 Hello, 5550123. 357 00:23:17,337 --> 00:23:21,296 Oh, no! Sam, this has got to stop! 358 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:27,292 Get it straight. That's the house. This is the bathroom. 359 00:23:27,377 --> 00:23:31,336 House, bathroom. Bathroom, house. 360 00:23:33,817 --> 00:23:35,535 What's the point? 361 00:23:59,057 --> 00:24:01,696 5550123. 362 00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:06,975 Denied that promotion? Is life unfair? 363 00:24:07,057 --> 00:24:10,174 Is someone less talented than you reaping the benefits? 364 00:24:10,257 --> 00:24:11,815 Is your name Bruce? 365 00:24:11,897 --> 00:24:13,967 Then do we have the job for you! 366 00:24:14,057 --> 00:24:17,288 We're located at 7725623rd Street. 367 00:24:17,377 --> 00:24:20,687 So come on down - or we'll just keep beeping you. 368 00:24:37,097 --> 00:24:38,496 "Omni Presents. " 369 00:24:39,857 --> 00:24:43,008 Oh, yeah. The glass is half-full. 370 00:24:46,497 --> 00:24:49,409 Come on! Look! What is that? 371 00:24:54,737 --> 00:24:56,170 Thank you again. 372 00:25:03,737 --> 00:25:05,728 What the...? 373 00:25:12,537 --> 00:25:14,528 You're looking for room 7. 374 00:25:16,897 --> 00:25:19,934 - Yeah, I figured. - Want me to even those up for you? 375 00:25:24,497 --> 00:25:27,534 - How do I get to room 7? - That'd be on the 7th floor. 376 00:25:27,617 --> 00:25:31,087 - Stairs are over there. - I'll take the elevator. 377 00:25:31,177 --> 00:25:34,692 - Out of order. - The stairs were my second choice. 378 00:25:34,777 --> 00:25:37,371 Do you mind giving me a hand with this floor? 379 00:25:37,457 --> 00:25:41,211 What? That's good. 380 00:25:41,297 --> 00:25:42,730 Are you serious? 381 00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:47,537 I'm kind of busy. Rain check. 382 00:25:48,777 --> 00:25:50,529 I'll hold you to it. 383 00:25:51,137 --> 00:25:53,731 I'm free on the 7th at 7.00. 384 00:25:56,897 --> 00:25:58,888 The 7th at 7.00 it is. 385 00:26:01,817 --> 00:26:04,092 This looks promising. 386 00:26:09,137 --> 00:26:11,048 Hello? 387 00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:14,527 Another hugantic, ginormic waste of my life. 388 00:26:15,697 --> 00:26:17,688 Hello? 389 00:26:18,497 --> 00:26:20,692 I'm looking for whoever runs this joint! 390 00:26:20,777 --> 00:26:23,371 Be right with you. I'm fixing a light. 391 00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:25,527 Tell me if it's working. 392 00:26:25,617 --> 00:26:27,687 Yeah. Seems to be. 393 00:26:27,777 --> 00:26:31,565 - Kind of bright, though. - Yeah. It is for most people. 394 00:26:31,657 --> 00:26:35,809 Spend their lives in the dark, trying to hide from me. 395 00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:39,487 The elevator's broken, huh? 396 00:26:39,577 --> 00:26:42,489 Yeah, but I'll get around to it. 397 00:26:43,737 --> 00:26:47,412 - You installed a clapper? - No, but catchy jingle, isn't it? 398 00:26:48,097 --> 00:26:49,769 Clap on, clap off 399 00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:52,849 The clapper 400 00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:56,171 Just can't get it out of my head. 401 00:26:56,257 --> 00:26:58,532 Well, good luck with that. 402 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,369 - I'm going to go now. - OK. 403 00:27:00,457 --> 00:27:02,652 But the boss will be right out. 404 00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:14,455 You must be Bruce. I've been expecting you. 405 00:27:16,657 --> 00:27:18,409 This is hilarious. 406 00:27:18,497 --> 00:27:21,136 You're the boss, electrician and janitor. 407 00:27:21,217 --> 00:27:23,128 Must be a killer Christmas party. 408 00:27:23,217 --> 00:27:26,527 Don't get drunk, though. One of you might need a ride home. 409 00:27:27,857 --> 00:27:31,088 You always were funny, Bruce. Just like your father. 410 00:27:31,937 --> 00:27:34,610 He didn't mind rolling up his sleeves either. 411 00:27:34,697 --> 00:27:39,373 People underestimate the benefit of manual labor. There's freedom in it. 412 00:27:39,457 --> 00:27:43,496 Some of the happiest people smell to high heaven at the end of the day. 413 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:46,533 All right, what is this? 414 00:27:46,657 --> 00:27:49,535 How do you know my father and how did you get my number? 415 00:27:49,617 --> 00:27:51,335 I know a lot about you, Bruce. 416 00:27:52,777 --> 00:27:55,086 Just about everything there is to know. 417 00:27:56,017 --> 00:28:00,647 Everything you've ever said or done or thought about doing. 418 00:28:01,617 --> 00:28:04,211 Right there in that file cabinet. 419 00:28:04,897 --> 00:28:08,333 - Wow! A whole drawer, just for me. - Yeah. 420 00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:10,806 Mind if I take a look? 421 00:28:10,897 --> 00:28:13,331 It's your life. 422 00:28:13,417 --> 00:28:15,408 This oughta be good. 423 00:28:29,137 --> 00:28:31,412 This last entry was a little disturbing. 424 00:28:43,177 --> 00:28:45,133 "The gloves are off, God. " 425 00:28:45,217 --> 00:28:47,685 "God has taken my bird and my bush. " 426 00:28:47,777 --> 00:28:51,053 "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass. " 427 00:28:51,137 --> 00:28:54,288 "Smite me, O mighty smiter. " 428 00:28:54,377 --> 00:28:58,290 I'm not much for blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh. 429 00:28:58,377 --> 00:29:00,368 Are you spying on me? 430 00:29:03,697 --> 00:29:06,165 Who are you? 431 00:29:06,257 --> 00:29:08,248 I am the One. 432 00:29:08,337 --> 00:29:11,454 Creator of the heavens and the earth. Alpha and Omega. 433 00:29:12,817 --> 00:29:15,092 I see where this is going. 434 00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:17,850 Bruce... I am God. 435 00:29:17,937 --> 00:29:19,893 Bingo! Yahtzee! 436 00:29:19,977 --> 00:29:23,936 Is that your final answer? Our survey says, "God!" 437 00:29:25,577 --> 00:29:27,329 It was nice to meet you, God. 438 00:29:27,417 --> 00:29:30,887 Thanks for the Grand Canyon. Good luck with the Apocalypse. 439 00:29:30,977 --> 00:29:34,287 And by the way, you suck! 440 00:29:34,377 --> 00:29:36,333 It would have been more impressive 441 00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:39,375 if you hadn't used the cheesy file cabinet illusion. 442 00:29:39,457 --> 00:29:42,130 Anybody with a brain stem can tell that drawer 443 00:29:42,217 --> 00:29:44,811 is being fed through the wall from the other side. 444 00:29:44,897 --> 00:29:47,809 All you have to do is find the crease right around here. 445 00:29:47,897 --> 00:29:51,173 There is a seam here, or a hollow spot. 446 00:29:55,777 --> 00:29:57,608 Where? 447 00:29:57,697 --> 00:29:59,688 Through the dry wall and concrete? 448 00:30:02,617 --> 00:30:05,495 OK, that is a good one. 449 00:30:06,177 --> 00:30:10,455 - How many fingers am I holding up? - Thou shalt not tempt the Lord. 450 00:30:10,537 --> 00:30:12,368 - If you can't do it... - Three. 451 00:30:12,457 --> 00:30:14,448 Two... four... nine. 452 00:30:14,537 --> 00:30:16,289 Six... eight... one. 453 00:30:18,697 --> 00:30:20,096 OK. 454 00:30:20,857 --> 00:30:22,654 How many now? 455 00:30:22,737 --> 00:30:24,011 Seven. 456 00:30:28,857 --> 00:30:32,486 - How? - You've been complaining about me. 457 00:30:32,577 --> 00:30:35,535 - I'm tired of it. - Don't come near me. Seriously. 458 00:30:35,617 --> 00:30:38,654 I don't want to hurt you, but I will out of instinct. 459 00:30:38,737 --> 00:30:42,446 You haven't won a fight since grade 5, and that was against a girl. 460 00:30:44,017 --> 00:30:46,690 But she was huge. She'd been held back. 461 00:30:46,777 --> 00:30:48,847 And the sun was in your eyes. 462 00:30:48,937 --> 00:30:50,814 Ah, the ego. 463 00:30:50,897 --> 00:30:53,457 Anyway, I brought you here to offer you a job. 464 00:30:53,537 --> 00:30:56,051 - A job? What job? - My job. 465 00:30:56,137 --> 00:30:59,334 You think you can do it better, so here's your chance. 466 00:30:59,417 --> 00:31:03,376 When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all my powers. 467 00:31:04,297 --> 00:31:06,174 Sure. Whatever you say, pal. 468 00:31:09,217 --> 00:31:12,926 OK. That did not happen. No one needs to hear about it. 469 00:31:13,017 --> 00:31:15,008 I'm deleting the program. 470 00:31:16,697 --> 00:31:18,335 No. 471 00:31:18,417 --> 00:31:20,214 I'm having a breakdown. 472 00:31:20,297 --> 00:31:23,767 Everyday psychotic episode, caused by a tumor, a brain lesion. 473 00:31:24,657 --> 00:31:26,568 Come on. Start! 474 00:31:28,537 --> 00:31:30,528 That was lucky. 475 00:31:34,977 --> 00:31:36,854 Come on. Calm down. 476 00:31:36,937 --> 00:31:39,735 You did not meet God. You do not have his powers. 477 00:31:40,457 --> 00:31:42,732 If that was God, I'm Clint Eastwood. 478 00:31:42,817 --> 00:31:44,808 Holy hell! 479 00:31:50,297 --> 00:31:53,209 Be careful what you wish for, punk. 480 00:31:53,617 --> 00:31:55,096 Nope! 481 00:31:56,457 --> 00:32:00,052 I am a reasonable, sane human being. 482 00:32:00,137 --> 00:32:01,889 With a. 44 Magnum. 483 00:32:01,977 --> 00:32:04,286 The most powerful handgun in the... 484 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:09,045 I'm not Clint Eastwood. I'm Bruce Nolan. 485 00:32:09,137 --> 00:32:11,128 I'm Bruce Nolan! 486 00:32:24,737 --> 00:32:26,728 That was not real. 487 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,336 - Coffee? - Coffee, yeah. 488 00:32:31,417 --> 00:32:33,328 We have a special on soup today. 489 00:32:33,417 --> 00:32:37,410 - No, thank you. - It's tomato. I made it myself. 490 00:32:38,817 --> 00:32:40,409 OK. 491 00:33:13,137 --> 00:33:15,128 Excuse me, I need a spoo-... 492 00:33:22,057 --> 00:33:24,048 It's OK. I found one. 493 00:33:31,137 --> 00:33:32,855 Here's your soup. 494 00:33:32,937 --> 00:33:34,495 Oh, soup, right. 495 00:33:34,577 --> 00:33:36,568 Yeah, right. 496 00:34:24,057 --> 00:34:26,048 Having fun? 497 00:34:28,497 --> 00:34:30,055 Thy, thou... 498 00:34:30,137 --> 00:34:32,776 Come. Take a closer walk with me. 499 00:34:34,377 --> 00:34:36,527 - Let me explain the rules. - Rules? 500 00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:40,246 You left in such a rush, I didn't get a chance to explain. 501 00:34:41,577 --> 00:34:44,569 The two extra fingers freaked me out a little. 502 00:34:44,657 --> 00:34:47,012 I figured I'd get your attention. 503 00:34:47,097 --> 00:34:50,169 I did the same to Gandhi. He didn't eat for three weeks. 504 00:34:51,257 --> 00:34:53,009 Anyway, here's the deal. 505 00:34:53,097 --> 00:34:56,055 You have all my powers. Use them any way you choose. 506 00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:59,209 There are two rules. You can't tell anybody you're God. 507 00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:03,654 Believe me, you don't want the attention. And you can't mess with free will. 508 00:35:07,057 --> 00:35:10,288 - Can I ask why? - Yes! You can! 509 00:35:10,377 --> 00:35:12,368 That's the beauty of it. 510 00:35:19,457 --> 00:35:23,291 - This is amazing. - Speaking of amazing, excuse me. 511 00:35:26,337 --> 00:35:29,409 Holy sh-... Cow. 512 00:35:29,897 --> 00:35:32,650 Since you're through with these, I'll keep them. 513 00:35:33,337 --> 00:35:35,646 Might come in handy some day. 514 00:35:36,297 --> 00:35:38,253 See you around, kid. 515 00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:42,127 - Where are you going? - I'm... taking a vacation. 516 00:35:42,217 --> 00:35:43,935 God doesn't take vacations. 517 00:35:44,017 --> 00:35:45,973 Does he? Do... ye? 518 00:35:46,497 --> 00:35:48,727 Did you ever hear of the Dark Ages? 519 00:35:48,817 --> 00:35:52,890 I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes if you want. 520 00:35:52,977 --> 00:35:54,569 Right? 521 00:36:38,817 --> 00:36:41,092 And he saw that it was good. 522 00:37:05,017 --> 00:37:08,453 B-E-A-utiful! 523 00:37:13,577 --> 00:37:15,568 Check it out. 524 00:37:17,217 --> 00:37:19,014 Look, it's the hero. 525 00:37:19,097 --> 00:37:22,595 - Whassup, homie? - Yo, brethren, what up with thee? 526 00:37:23,097 --> 00:37:26,612 - Blessings on your alley. - Want another can of whup ass? 527 00:37:26,697 --> 00:37:29,848 - You didn't get enough? - He wants some more! 528 00:37:29,937 --> 00:37:33,896 Surely, I say unto you dudes, I do not wish to fight. 529 00:37:33,977 --> 00:37:37,970 So as soon as you apologize and make a reckoning of your transgressions, 530 00:37:38,057 --> 00:37:41,572 I shall absolve you and continue along the path of righteousness. 531 00:37:42,097 --> 00:37:44,088 What are you talking about? 532 00:37:46,137 --> 00:37:50,369 You talk kind of funny. I don't know if you lost it up here or what. 533 00:37:50,457 --> 00:37:53,529 You want me and the homies to apologize? Cool. 534 00:37:53,617 --> 00:37:58,168 We'll apologize the day a monkey comes out of my butt. How about that? 535 00:38:01,657 --> 00:38:04,649 What a coincidence! Because that's today. 536 00:38:22,017 --> 00:38:24,326 Did that monkey just come out your crack? 537 00:38:29,017 --> 00:38:32,373 This is some voodoo shit! 538 00:38:32,857 --> 00:38:34,848 You guys leaving? 539 00:38:36,097 --> 00:38:38,088 Don't forget your parting gifts! 540 00:39:04,137 --> 00:39:06,697 Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. 541 00:39:06,777 --> 00:39:09,450 Time for you to go home. 542 00:39:22,137 --> 00:39:24,446 I am Bruce Almighty. 543 00:39:24,537 --> 00:39:27,290 My will be done! 544 00:39:37,137 --> 00:39:40,095 What if God was one of us 545 00:39:40,857 --> 00:39:43,371 Just a slob like one of us 546 00:39:44,337 --> 00:39:46,805 Just a stranger on a bus 547 00:39:46,897 --> 00:39:48,888 Trying to make his way 548 00:39:49,817 --> 00:39:53,048 Home 549 00:39:53,137 --> 00:39:55,093 - My God. - Call me Bruce. 550 00:39:55,177 --> 00:39:57,293 What happened to you? You seem so... 551 00:40:02,017 --> 00:40:03,370 happy. 552 00:40:03,457 --> 00:40:06,017 Why shouldn't I be? On a night like this. 553 00:40:06,097 --> 00:40:08,850 Those are amazing. What are these? 554 00:40:08,937 --> 00:40:12,373 A new breed. A cross-pollination between tulips and daisies. 555 00:40:12,457 --> 00:40:15,017 I call them todayzees. 556 00:40:16,617 --> 00:40:18,608 OK. 557 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,606 Honey, these flowers are beautiful. 558 00:40:27,337 --> 00:40:30,090 - But last night... - Last night, I was only human. 559 00:40:35,137 --> 00:40:37,128 Barry, help me out. 560 00:41:32,897 --> 00:41:34,888 Honey? Hi. 561 00:41:35,617 --> 00:41:39,007 - I've never seen the moon that big. - Yeah. 562 00:41:39,697 --> 00:41:41,688 We really shouldn't waste it. 563 00:41:51,897 --> 00:41:53,808 Bedroom? 564 00:41:53,897 --> 00:41:55,888 Five minutes. 565 00:42:04,537 --> 00:42:06,528 Let there be light. 566 00:42:09,697 --> 00:42:11,688 I'll be out in a minute! 567 00:42:12,417 --> 00:42:14,089 Don't rush. 568 00:42:14,177 --> 00:42:17,089 Sometimes anticipation can heighten the... 569 00:42:17,177 --> 00:42:18,246 pleasure! 570 00:42:18,337 --> 00:42:20,328 Oh, God. 571 00:42:22,257 --> 00:42:24,896 It's a funny thing about pleasure. 572 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:30,256 It can be quite... pleasurable! 573 00:42:33,097 --> 00:42:35,088 Oh, my God. 574 00:42:35,737 --> 00:42:37,728 Pleasuring, pleasurable. 575 00:42:40,857 --> 00:42:42,210 Oh, good God! 576 00:42:51,577 --> 00:42:53,408 In international news: 577 00:42:53,497 --> 00:42:57,536 Japanese relief workers are staging an effort to rescue hundreds of people 578 00:42:57,617 --> 00:43:00,973 stranded by a freak tidal wave that hit Kitamoto City. 579 00:43:01,057 --> 00:43:03,696 Scientists say the tsunami may have been caused 580 00:43:03,777 --> 00:43:07,770 by what they are describing as unusual lunar activity. 581 00:43:07,857 --> 00:43:09,848 More on this as it develops. 582 00:43:13,537 --> 00:43:18,167 Please bless my mommy, my daddy, and especially my little sister. 583 00:43:20,057 --> 00:43:23,413 Please help me, Lord. Please get me through this one. 584 00:43:30,097 --> 00:43:33,089 Thank you for everything else in my life. Amen. 585 00:43:57,857 --> 00:44:00,007 Good boy. 586 00:44:01,617 --> 00:44:03,608 Forget something? 587 00:44:06,737 --> 00:44:09,490 Good boy! There are girls in the house. 588 00:44:13,697 --> 00:44:15,688 - Morning. - Good morning. 589 00:44:15,777 --> 00:44:18,769 - I made you grilled cheese. - My favy. 590 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:22,933 - Honey, last night was... - Heavenly. I know. 591 00:44:23,017 --> 00:44:27,408 I mean, I woke up and I felt like my boobs were bigger. 592 00:44:27,497 --> 00:44:30,489 - Do they look bigger to you? - What? 593 00:44:30,577 --> 00:44:32,613 No. 594 00:44:32,697 --> 00:44:35,165 - Bigger? - Oh, come on! 595 00:44:35,257 --> 00:44:36,975 Look at them. 596 00:44:37,057 --> 00:44:39,207 Please. They are definitely bigger. 597 00:44:39,297 --> 00:44:41,857 I mean, look. They feel huge to me. 598 00:44:41,937 --> 00:44:43,768 I have to go. 599 00:44:43,857 --> 00:44:46,132 But this has been the breast bek... 600 00:44:48,257 --> 00:44:49,485 Thank you. 601 00:44:49,577 --> 00:44:53,013 - Where are you going? - To get my job back. 602 00:44:54,257 --> 00:44:58,535 Yeah, yeah, I am great 603 00:45:01,937 --> 00:45:04,610 Good grief! Is that what I'm driving? 604 00:45:15,377 --> 00:45:16,969 Nice car, man. 605 00:45:17,057 --> 00:45:19,446 Yeah, it gets me from A to B. 606 00:45:32,097 --> 00:45:35,294 Darn. All this horsepower and no room to gallop! 607 00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:41,729 Hi-yo, Silver. Away! 608 00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:51,374 I wouldn't want to be a fugitive 609 00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:55,336 with Hank, Buffalo's number one police dog, on the job. 610 00:45:55,417 --> 00:45:59,888 Phil Sidleman at the police canine training centre, Channel 5 News. 611 00:45:59,977 --> 00:46:01,968 And cut it. 612 00:46:07,337 --> 00:46:08,850 Look what the cat coughed up! 613 00:46:08,937 --> 00:46:11,815 Channel 7, right? You're the guy that went crazy. 614 00:46:11,897 --> 00:46:15,048 - I had a bad moment. - What are you doing here? 615 00:46:15,137 --> 00:46:17,253 - Looking for a story. - No story here. 616 00:46:17,337 --> 00:46:21,694 This pond is all fished out. Pretty standard stuff, anyway. 617 00:46:21,777 --> 00:46:24,974 My instinct tells me there's something more. 618 00:46:25,057 --> 00:46:28,049 Well, go with that. It served you well in the past, right? 619 00:46:35,977 --> 00:46:37,808 Hank found something! 620 00:46:39,497 --> 00:46:41,488 We got a body! 621 00:46:42,457 --> 00:46:44,448 Shit. Get the camera! Now! 622 00:46:45,217 --> 00:46:48,766 - It's locked! The keys are inside! - I guess every dog has his day. 623 00:46:49,217 --> 00:46:51,492 - Kid, you want to make $10? - Sure. 624 00:46:51,577 --> 00:46:53,966 - Know how to use one of these? - Duh. 625 00:46:55,857 --> 00:46:58,246 Seems to be in tune. Let's do this. 626 00:46:58,337 --> 00:47:01,329 The body of Jimmy Hoffa was uncovered in a field today 627 00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:04,454 outside a canine training centre in Buffalo, New York. 628 00:47:04,537 --> 00:47:08,007 - Bruce Nolan was first on the scene. - Thank you, Jane. 629 00:47:08,097 --> 00:47:11,169 As you can see, the body is being carefully exhumed 630 00:47:11,257 --> 00:47:15,614 for transportation to a facility where DNA can confirm the identity. 631 00:47:15,697 --> 00:47:18,575 That, however, merely a formality at this point, 632 00:47:18,657 --> 00:47:24,129 as the body was found with a birth certificate and dental records. 633 00:47:24,217 --> 00:47:26,890 I'd call that a red-letter day for any canine unit. 634 00:47:26,977 --> 00:47:29,571 But was that enough for Hank? No, siree. 635 00:47:29,657 --> 00:47:32,888 Moments later, he busted a local news camera crew 636 00:47:32,977 --> 00:47:36,174 with 220 pounds of marijuana. 637 00:47:36,257 --> 00:47:38,612 I never saw it before! I swear! 638 00:47:41,817 --> 00:47:43,773 I'm Bruce Nolan... 639 00:47:43,857 --> 00:47:46,690 and that's the way the cookie crumbles. 640 00:47:51,097 --> 00:47:53,088 Did you like that? 641 00:47:55,417 --> 00:47:57,248 Thank you, thank you. 642 00:47:57,337 --> 00:47:59,248 - Hi, Bruce. - Hi, Susan. 643 00:47:59,337 --> 00:48:01,771 Good work. I'm impressed. 644 00:48:05,737 --> 00:48:08,570 - Did you need me for something? - Bruce! 645 00:48:08,657 --> 00:48:10,613 Just the man I want to see. 646 00:48:10,697 --> 00:48:14,770 - Hoffa? What are the odds of that? - What are the odds of that? 647 00:48:14,857 --> 00:48:16,927 - Bruce, why don't you sit down? - OK. 648 00:48:17,017 --> 00:48:20,646 I'm going to be straight with you. We want you back, Bruce. 649 00:48:20,737 --> 00:48:24,127 But I want you to understand it was not my decision to let you go. 650 00:48:24,817 --> 00:48:27,729 - When the big guy gives the order... - No harm, no foul. 651 00:48:27,817 --> 00:48:31,332 I needed to reassess my goals and get in touch with my true self. 652 00:48:31,417 --> 00:48:34,454 - You did that in a day? - Imagine what I could do with seven. 653 00:48:35,577 --> 00:48:38,375 It is not in my power to give you anchor. 654 00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:41,767 As far as field reporting goes, if you're looking for a bump... 655 00:48:41,857 --> 00:48:44,894 Let's cut the crap and get down to brass tacks. 656 00:48:49,657 --> 00:48:51,375 I had you going. 657 00:48:51,457 --> 00:48:53,573 Don't worry about it, my old friend. 658 00:48:54,497 --> 00:48:57,170 Just give me a camera. I'll give you the news. 659 00:49:05,817 --> 00:49:11,016 My secret is that I let the jalapenos marinate in a spicy sauce 660 00:49:11,097 --> 00:49:15,170 for at least 24 hours before I stir it into the chilli. 661 00:49:15,257 --> 00:49:17,976 Then I let it all come to a simmer. 662 00:49:22,657 --> 00:49:27,856 Hold that thought. It seems as if an asteroid or meteorite 663 00:49:27,937 --> 00:49:31,612 has just hit ground right outside the Mark Twain Chilli Cook-Off! 664 00:49:32,337 --> 00:49:34,851 This should certainly spice things up a bit! 665 00:49:35,457 --> 00:49:37,175 His stories are all over town. 666 00:49:37,257 --> 00:49:38,531 From unearthing Hoffa 667 00:49:38,617 --> 00:49:40,608 .. to a meteor crashing, 668 00:49:40,697 --> 00:49:43,894 .. Bruce Nolan is rapidly becoming known as... 669 00:49:58,017 --> 00:50:01,487 And that's the way the cookie crumbles! 670 00:50:05,937 --> 00:50:08,292 This was Bruce's idea? 671 00:50:08,377 --> 00:50:12,689 He wanted me to have a day of beauty and luxurious serenity. 672 00:50:14,337 --> 00:50:17,534 I got to tell you, he is impressing me lately. 673 00:50:17,617 --> 00:50:19,687 Know where he's taking me to dinner? 674 00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:22,769 Where? 675 00:50:24,497 --> 00:50:26,055 The Blue Palm? 676 00:50:27,897 --> 00:50:30,809 - My gosh, I got chills. - I know. 677 00:50:30,897 --> 00:50:34,606 He told me to prepare for the most memorable night of our lives. 678 00:50:34,697 --> 00:50:37,336 Oh, my gosh. He's going to propose. 679 00:50:37,417 --> 00:50:39,373 Oh, stop it. No. He's... 680 00:50:39,457 --> 00:50:42,130 - Really? - Yeah, really. 681 00:50:42,217 --> 00:50:45,209 Do the math. He sends you all day to a beauty spa, 682 00:50:45,297 --> 00:50:49,176 he's taking you to a restaurant where you had your first date. Hello! 683 00:50:49,257 --> 00:50:51,896 I never thought I'd say this, but Bruce is right. 684 00:50:51,977 --> 00:50:54,172 This is your night. Relax and enjoy it. 685 00:50:54,257 --> 00:50:56,293 Oh, God. 686 00:51:00,297 --> 00:51:03,653 Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, 687 00:51:03,737 --> 00:51:05,090 Evan Baxter, 688 00:51:05,177 --> 00:51:07,850 Fred Donohue, sports, Dallas Coleman, weather. 689 00:51:07,937 --> 00:51:10,212 And now, Buffalo's number one news team. 690 00:51:10,297 --> 00:51:12,253 Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six. 691 00:51:12,337 --> 00:51:14,328 - I'm Susan Ortega. - I'm Evan Baxter. 692 00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:16,373 Here's what's making news. 693 00:51:16,457 --> 00:51:19,688 A potential scandal with the Buffalo PD surfaced today, 694 00:51:19,777 --> 00:51:21,893 when the mayor demanded that... 695 00:51:22,897 --> 00:51:25,206 When the mayor demanded the chief of... 696 00:51:27,977 --> 00:51:29,968 Issued a response to... 697 00:51:30,697 --> 00:51:32,892 I seem to have something stuck in my... 698 00:51:32,977 --> 00:51:34,854 Get him some water. 699 00:51:34,937 --> 00:51:37,451 Looks like my new co-anchor may need water. 700 00:51:42,297 --> 00:51:44,128 There we go. Sorry. 701 00:51:44,217 --> 00:51:48,972 In other news, the prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today, 702 00:51:49,057 --> 00:51:52,094 and my tiny little nipples went to France. 703 00:51:52,937 --> 00:51:55,053 What did he say? Check the prompter. 704 00:51:58,457 --> 00:52:01,176 - The prompter's fine. - Evan, read the copy. 705 00:52:01,257 --> 00:52:02,975 The copy's good. Just read it. 706 00:52:03,657 --> 00:52:07,252 The White House committee greeted the prime rib roast minister, 707 00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:10,488 and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. 708 00:52:12,297 --> 00:52:14,936 I lika do... 709 00:52:15,017 --> 00:52:17,008 da cha-cha. 710 00:52:21,017 --> 00:52:24,646 I'm sorry. We seem to be having technical difficulties. 711 00:52:25,017 --> 00:52:26,814 In other news... 712 00:52:29,657 --> 00:52:31,648 My apologies. 713 00:53:21,457 --> 00:53:24,529 If I ruled the world 714 00:53:25,897 --> 00:53:29,936 Every day would be the first day of spring 715 00:53:31,577 --> 00:53:35,889 Every heart would have a new song to sing 716 00:53:37,137 --> 00:53:42,734 And we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring 717 00:53:44,297 --> 00:53:46,606 If I ruled the world 718 00:53:48,817 --> 00:53:52,207 Every man would be as free as a bird 719 00:53:52,297 --> 00:53:54,288 - May I? - Certainly. 720 00:53:59,497 --> 00:54:02,330 It's perfect. She'll love it. 721 00:54:02,417 --> 00:54:06,205 We would treasure each day that occurs 722 00:54:06,857 --> 00:54:12,534 You know, I was going to wait until after the meal, 723 00:54:13,257 --> 00:54:16,806 but it'll burst out of me like an alien if I don't do it now. 724 00:54:18,177 --> 00:54:20,213 Oh, my God. OK. 725 00:54:20,297 --> 00:54:22,015 This is it, isn't it? 726 00:54:22,097 --> 00:54:24,850 I don't know if I'm ready for this. 727 00:54:24,937 --> 00:54:29,647 I mean, I'm ready. I just didn't know if I would... I'm sorry, go on. 728 00:54:29,737 --> 00:54:33,047 - I didn't know it was so important to you. - Me neither. 729 00:54:36,937 --> 00:54:38,928 - Grace? - Yes? 730 00:54:46,497 --> 00:54:48,488 I got anchor. 731 00:54:49,217 --> 00:54:50,616 No. 732 00:54:52,137 --> 00:54:56,176 Yes. Apparently it wasn't working out with Evan, 733 00:54:56,257 --> 00:55:00,535 so he's going to finish out the week and I go live on Monday. 734 00:55:02,417 --> 00:55:06,171 - That's great, honey. - I know, I know. 735 00:55:06,257 --> 00:55:07,849 Well... 736 00:55:10,097 --> 00:55:12,850 - So that's what this is all about. - Well, yeah. 737 00:55:14,297 --> 00:55:15,730 We got anchor. 738 00:55:15,817 --> 00:55:19,332 Jack's throwing me a party at the Vanderbilt estate to celebrate. 739 00:55:19,417 --> 00:55:21,294 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 740 00:55:21,857 --> 00:55:25,008 Now I lay me down to sleep... 741 00:55:25,097 --> 00:55:26,974 I feel stupid. 742 00:55:27,057 --> 00:55:29,776 - It is loud in here, isn't it? - No, it's not loud. 743 00:55:29,857 --> 00:55:33,054 Jeez! Can you keep it down to a dull roar? 744 00:55:33,137 --> 00:55:35,651 - Thank you! - Is that supposed to be funny? 745 00:55:35,737 --> 00:55:38,410 Cos that is not funny. 746 00:55:38,497 --> 00:55:41,853 - What did you say? - What is wrong with you? Stop yelling. 747 00:55:44,057 --> 00:55:47,049 If you'll excuse me, I'll take a little trip to the... 748 00:55:47,137 --> 00:55:49,048 Our father, which art in heaven... 749 00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:51,810 The wine is going right through me. 750 00:55:51,897 --> 00:55:55,014 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 751 00:55:55,097 --> 00:55:57,213 - Keep going, Tony! - Oh, God. 752 00:55:59,617 --> 00:56:01,448 What is going on here? 753 00:56:01,537 --> 00:56:03,414 What is this? 754 00:56:03,497 --> 00:56:05,488 Give me a break! 755 00:56:10,297 --> 00:56:12,288 Really something, isn't it? 756 00:56:14,857 --> 00:56:16,654 Is this heaven? 757 00:56:16,737 --> 00:56:19,205 No, this is Mount Everest. 758 00:56:19,297 --> 00:56:22,255 Flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. 759 00:56:22,657 --> 00:56:26,093 But I guess you can't now, being dead and all. 760 00:56:27,257 --> 00:56:30,135 - I'm dead? - I'm just messing with you. 761 00:56:30,577 --> 00:56:33,091 That's not funny, man! 762 00:56:35,097 --> 00:56:38,726 What about the voices in my head? Is that part of the hilarity? 763 00:56:38,817 --> 00:56:43,015 No, those are prayers. You keep ignoring them, they're going to build up. 764 00:56:43,097 --> 00:56:45,770 But it's just noise. I can't understand them. 765 00:56:46,457 --> 00:56:49,096 You're not listening, son. 766 00:56:49,177 --> 00:56:51,452 Let's see. 767 00:56:51,537 --> 00:56:55,416 You had my powers for a little over a week. How many people have you helped? 768 00:56:59,497 --> 00:57:01,453 I took care of a few things. 769 00:57:01,537 --> 00:57:04,654 I righted a few wrongs in my own life first. OK? 770 00:57:04,737 --> 00:57:06,807 I was going to help the others. 771 00:57:06,897 --> 00:57:09,889 - I think I could help the world. - The world? 772 00:57:10,457 --> 00:57:15,008 That wasn't the world. That was just Buffalo, between 57th and Commonwealth. 773 00:57:18,177 --> 00:57:21,408 I didn't want to start you off with more than you could handle. 774 00:57:21,497 --> 00:57:24,773 You took the job, Bruce, so I suggest you get to it. 775 00:57:26,337 --> 00:57:29,170 Seeing him smile would make me so happy. 776 00:57:29,257 --> 00:57:31,248 Prayers, prayers, OK. 777 00:57:32,577 --> 00:57:34,613 This creepy whisper thing has to end. 778 00:57:34,697 --> 00:57:36,767 Organization. That's what I need. 779 00:57:36,857 --> 00:57:40,770 I need a system. Something concrete. Concentrate. 780 00:57:41,897 --> 00:57:46,129 Files. Let all prayers be organized into files. 781 00:57:50,737 --> 00:57:55,367 That takes care of the voices. Not exactly a space-saver, though. 782 00:57:55,457 --> 00:57:57,766 Grace might notice. 783 00:57:57,857 --> 00:58:00,166 I know. Prayer Post-its! 784 00:58:14,577 --> 00:58:18,775 OK, I need something with a lock. Security. Combination. A password. 785 00:58:20,137 --> 00:58:21,536 A password. 786 00:58:27,897 --> 00:58:30,889 Welcome to the revelation superhighway. 787 00:58:30,977 --> 00:58:33,889 We bless, no mess. Downloading now. 788 00:58:37,497 --> 00:58:39,613 It's good. 789 00:58:41,537 --> 00:58:43,653 This is going to take a while. 790 00:58:49,377 --> 00:58:53,848 1,527,503 prayer requests? 791 00:58:56,057 --> 00:58:58,048 I better manifest some coffee. 792 00:59:17,377 --> 00:59:21,165 Now that's fresh, mountain-grown coffee from the hills of Colombia. 793 00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:44,653 Good. 794 00:59:48,457 --> 00:59:52,052 OK, I had to have made some kind of a dent by now. 795 00:59:54,497 --> 00:59:56,488 Oh, come on! 796 00:59:57,857 --> 01:00:01,486 What a bunch of whiners. This is going to suck up my whole life. 797 01:00:03,097 --> 01:00:05,088 You know what? 798 01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:09,128 Yes. To all. 799 01:00:10,097 --> 01:00:14,090 Yeah. There you go. Now everybody's happy. 800 01:00:22,297 --> 01:00:26,051 I'll drink to that. My tech stocks tripled in five days. 801 01:00:26,137 --> 01:00:28,253 Know something, Joe? You seem taller. 802 01:00:28,337 --> 01:00:30,897 - I am. - My daughter pitched a no-hitter. 803 01:00:30,977 --> 01:00:33,969 I lost 47 pounds on the Krispy Kreme diet. 804 01:00:34,057 --> 01:00:35,570 There he is! 805 01:00:35,657 --> 01:00:37,295 The man of the hour! 806 01:00:37,377 --> 01:00:40,972 Bless you! Bless all of you! 807 01:00:41,057 --> 01:00:44,891 Be fruitful and... do long division or something! 808 01:00:45,857 --> 01:00:48,246 Try that. It's an excellent year. 809 01:00:48,337 --> 01:00:50,805 Bruce! Who do you like in the game tonight? 810 01:00:50,897 --> 01:00:54,094 I like the Sabres. Coach prays a lot. 811 01:01:14,657 --> 01:01:17,455 This is Bruce, Grace and Sam. Leave a message. 812 01:01:17,537 --> 01:01:19,209 Grace? Are you there? 813 01:01:19,297 --> 01:01:20,616 Hello? It's me. 814 01:01:23,737 --> 01:01:25,853 Come on, Grace. Come to the party. 815 01:01:26,737 --> 01:01:28,773 I'll call you later, OK? 816 01:01:30,937 --> 01:01:32,928 Come on, Sam. 817 01:01:35,657 --> 01:01:37,648 Help me out here. 818 01:01:39,977 --> 01:01:41,808 Sam, don't. Come on. 819 01:01:41,897 --> 01:01:44,411 - Tell me. - If l do, it might not come true. 820 01:01:44,497 --> 01:01:48,888 What is it you want, Mary? You want the moon? 821 01:01:48,977 --> 01:01:52,287 Say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. 822 01:01:52,377 --> 01:01:56,086 Hey, that's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary. 823 01:01:56,177 --> 01:01:58,088 I'll take it. 824 01:01:58,177 --> 01:02:00,850 - Then what? - Then you could swallow it. 825 01:02:00,937 --> 01:02:03,053 And it'd all dissolve. 826 01:02:03,137 --> 01:02:06,015 Moonbeams would shoot out Of your fingers and toes 827 01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:08,452 and the ends of your hair. 828 01:02:19,537 --> 01:02:21,528 This is Bruce, Grace and Sam. 829 01:02:23,297 --> 01:02:25,288 Hi, Bruce. 830 01:02:27,377 --> 01:02:29,368 What are you doing in here all alone? 831 01:02:29,457 --> 01:02:31,175 Oh, I was just going to... 832 01:02:31,257 --> 01:02:33,248 I mean... 833 01:02:35,617 --> 01:02:38,211 I was going to give Grace a call. 834 01:02:38,537 --> 01:02:42,132 Yeah, I didn't see her. So how are you and Grace doing? 835 01:02:43,137 --> 01:02:45,731 Well, actually, we had a bit of a fight. 836 01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:49,090 Kind of. I'm not sure if she's... 837 01:02:49,177 --> 01:02:51,247 You're on fire, Bruce. 838 01:02:51,737 --> 01:02:53,329 Some women can't handle fire. 839 01:02:54,617 --> 01:02:56,653 Some can. 840 01:02:56,737 --> 01:03:01,253 That's interesting, cos I never thought we would ever talk... 841 01:03:20,977 --> 01:03:23,696 You might want to stop touching me now. 842 01:03:27,777 --> 01:03:29,813 Grace, come here! 843 01:03:30,817 --> 01:03:32,808 This is weird. I was just calling you. 844 01:03:32,897 --> 01:03:35,286 And you thought Susan's mouth was the phone? 845 01:03:36,177 --> 01:03:38,645 She kissed me. I'm the kissee. 846 01:03:38,737 --> 01:03:40,693 You were putting up a big fight. 847 01:03:40,777 --> 01:03:43,245 I tried to stop her, but she's really strong. 848 01:03:43,337 --> 01:03:45,897 OK, I screwed up. Can I make it up to you? 849 01:03:45,977 --> 01:03:48,650 Yeah. Why don't you get me a boat? 850 01:03:48,737 --> 01:03:50,409 - What? - A big boat. 851 01:03:50,497 --> 01:03:52,374 And maybe two big bags of cash. 852 01:03:52,457 --> 01:03:54,334 Then, then, I'll be happy. 853 01:03:54,417 --> 01:03:56,328 Lots of money and lots of stuff! 854 01:03:56,417 --> 01:04:01,013 People want crap like getting married or having babies with the man they love. 855 01:04:01,097 --> 01:04:03,486 But not me, Bruce. Just give me the boat. 856 01:04:04,457 --> 01:04:06,732 No wonder you stayed single! 857 01:04:06,817 --> 01:04:10,810 - Don't do this. - I'm not doing this. I'm undoing it. 858 01:04:10,897 --> 01:04:14,492 I'll be at Debbie's. Take care of Sam until I make arrangements. 859 01:04:16,217 --> 01:04:18,208 You can't leave me. 860 01:04:19,777 --> 01:04:21,813 I'm the Alpha, lady! 861 01:04:21,897 --> 01:04:24,695 I'm the Omega, baby! 862 01:04:25,217 --> 01:04:27,651 Fine! I don't need you! 863 01:04:33,497 --> 01:04:37,649 What's the matter, Bruce? She can't handle a little competition? 864 01:04:38,737 --> 01:04:41,012 Game's been called on account of rain. 865 01:04:56,217 --> 01:05:00,176 An unusually high number of lottery winners has officials concerned. 866 01:05:00,257 --> 01:05:02,930 So far, 1, 100 winning tickets have been turned in, 867 01:05:03,017 --> 01:05:05,850 all, strangely, from the Buffalo area. 868 01:05:06,857 --> 01:05:08,973 More on this story as it develops. 869 01:05:10,057 --> 01:05:11,854 Enjoying your party? 870 01:05:11,937 --> 01:05:15,168 Nothing like spending quality time with great friends. 871 01:05:16,857 --> 01:05:20,452 - Grace left me. - Yeah, I know. 872 01:05:20,897 --> 01:05:22,888 She'll take me back. 873 01:05:25,657 --> 01:05:28,615 - She'll take me back, right? - Would you take you back? 874 01:05:34,817 --> 01:05:38,935 How do you make somebody love you without affecting free will? 875 01:05:39,017 --> 01:05:41,008 Welcome to my world, son. 876 01:05:41,097 --> 01:05:43,930 You come up with an answer to that one, you let me know. 877 01:05:54,097 --> 01:05:55,655 Rise and shine, Buffalo. 878 01:05:55,737 --> 01:05:58,729 It's 70 and sunny and the perfect day to forgive Bruce. 879 01:05:59,537 --> 01:06:01,528 I don't know much 880 01:06:02,657 --> 01:06:06,286 But I know I love you 881 01:06:09,217 --> 01:06:11,208 - Bye. - Have fun. 882 01:06:35,697 --> 01:06:39,007 - Hi. Can I get a small coffee to go? - Sure, hon. Just a sec. 883 01:06:39,097 --> 01:06:43,773 K- Tel Records brings you the 100 greatest love songs of all time. 884 01:06:43,857 --> 01:06:47,167 You'll hear such classics as "All You Need Is Bruce", 885 01:06:47,257 --> 01:06:50,613 "If You Can't Be With The One You Love, Then Love Bruce", 886 01:06:50,697 --> 01:06:53,086 "Do That To Bruce One More Time". 887 01:06:53,217 --> 01:06:54,809 Who can forget that classic, 888 01:06:54,897 --> 01:06:57,969 "Bruce So Horny 889 01:06:58,057 --> 01:07:00,810 Order today and we'll throw in at no extra charge 890 01:07:00,897 --> 01:07:03,013 the video "Sweatin' To Bruce". 891 01:07:03,097 --> 01:07:05,850 Just dial 1-900-FORGIVE HIM. 892 01:07:05,937 --> 01:07:09,452 That's 1-900-FORGIVE HIM. Do it now. 893 01:07:36,497 --> 01:07:39,569 No, no! Please don't put that in your mouth. 894 01:07:39,657 --> 01:07:40,976 That's not food. 895 01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:45,130 Go to the bathroom. Wash out your mouth. Wash off your hands. 896 01:07:45,537 --> 01:07:47,892 That kid is gonna poop an ornament. 897 01:07:47,977 --> 01:07:50,935 One more time, you're going to be in a lot of trouble. 898 01:07:52,337 --> 01:07:54,328 All right, that's it! 899 01:07:57,337 --> 01:07:59,692 I surrender! 900 01:08:04,817 --> 01:08:06,808 Hi. 901 01:08:10,417 --> 01:08:13,409 I'm... doing my first anchor tonight. 902 01:08:13,497 --> 01:08:16,295 Oh, wow. That's great! 903 01:08:16,377 --> 01:08:20,131 - How have you been doing? - Good. 904 01:08:21,737 --> 01:08:25,047 - Debbie won the lottery. - Oh, yeah? You're kidding. 905 01:08:25,137 --> 01:08:31,246 But so did 400,000 other people, so she only won like $17 or something. 906 01:08:33,217 --> 01:08:35,208 I miss you. 907 01:08:40,017 --> 01:08:41,689 I took a first step. 908 01:08:41,777 --> 01:08:43,768 Jumped out on a ledge. 909 01:08:45,497 --> 01:08:48,295 - Feeling vulnerable. - What do you want me to say? 910 01:08:48,377 --> 01:08:50,493 Say you want me back. 911 01:08:50,577 --> 01:08:52,807 What about all the signs? 912 01:08:53,097 --> 01:08:57,056 How did you know about that? Did you talk to Debbie? 913 01:08:57,137 --> 01:09:00,095 Would it help if I just said I was a complete ass? 914 01:09:00,177 --> 01:09:03,613 - You said ass! - It's OK if I'm talking about a donkey. 915 01:09:03,697 --> 01:09:06,086 I didn't say "hole". If I said ass... 916 01:09:06,177 --> 01:09:08,896 No, wait. OK, honey, let's go inside. 917 01:09:08,977 --> 01:09:11,889 All right, everybody inside. Time to go inside. 918 01:09:14,137 --> 01:09:16,890 Please. None of this seems right without you. 919 01:09:20,857 --> 01:09:22,927 I gotta go. 920 01:09:23,377 --> 01:09:25,015 Wait! 921 01:09:31,097 --> 01:09:33,531 How do you feel now? 922 01:09:35,697 --> 01:09:38,416 Have you completely lost your mind? 923 01:09:38,777 --> 01:09:42,087 - Are you drunk? - Yeah. Drunk with power. 924 01:09:47,057 --> 01:09:48,695 Love me. 925 01:09:55,737 --> 01:09:57,728 I did. 926 01:10:09,257 --> 01:10:11,248 Yeah, I know. Free will. 927 01:10:12,537 --> 01:10:16,849 More power outages reported today caused by last week's meteorite strike. 928 01:10:16,937 --> 01:10:22,887 Officials are trying to repair transformers damaged by the ensuing electrical surge. 929 01:10:22,977 --> 01:10:24,808 The scene nearly turned violent 930 01:10:24,897 --> 01:10:29,652 when Buffalo residents protested last week's lottery results. 931 01:10:29,737 --> 01:10:33,366 Doomsayers are pointing to last week's strange celestial events 932 01:10:33,457 --> 01:10:38,577 as signs that prophecy is being fulfilled and the world may be coming to an end. 933 01:10:40,177 --> 01:10:41,530 The world's gone mad. 934 01:10:41,617 --> 01:10:43,494 - 30 seconds to air. - OK. 935 01:10:43,577 --> 01:10:46,375 There you are. It's your debut. How are you feeling? 936 01:10:46,457 --> 01:10:49,494 You know what? I'm fine. Never better. 937 01:10:50,057 --> 01:10:52,048 The show must go on right? 938 01:10:55,017 --> 01:10:58,214 - The Sabres just won the Stanley Cup. - You're kidding me! 939 01:10:58,817 --> 01:11:01,411 Was that tonight? That's great. 940 01:11:01,497 --> 01:11:05,809 It's crazy out there. We're going to kick live to Fred at the stadium, OK? 941 01:11:05,897 --> 01:11:08,286 - Five seconds to the open. - This is it. 942 01:11:08,377 --> 01:11:10,288 - You ready? - Born that way. 943 01:11:10,377 --> 01:11:15,656 Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, Bruce Nolan, 944 01:11:15,737 --> 01:11:18,376 Fred Donohue, sports, Dallas Coleman, weather. 945 01:11:18,457 --> 01:11:20,368 Now Buffalo's number one news team. 946 01:11:20,457 --> 01:11:22,448 - I'm Susan Ortega. - I'm Bruce Nolan. 947 01:11:22,537 --> 01:11:24,528 And here's what's making news. 948 01:11:25,777 --> 01:11:28,245 - What happened? - We lost power. 949 01:11:28,337 --> 01:11:30,328 - Transformer's down again. - Jeez. 950 01:11:30,417 --> 01:11:32,851 Ever since that damn meteorite hit. 951 01:11:34,377 --> 01:11:37,130 - We're back. - We apologize for the interruption. 952 01:11:37,217 --> 01:11:39,333 - Back to the news. Bruce? - Thank you. 953 01:11:39,417 --> 01:11:42,375 I'm sorry. We're going live to HSBC Arena, 954 01:11:42,457 --> 01:11:45,449 where the Buffalo Sabres have won the Stanley Cup. 955 01:11:45,537 --> 01:11:46,856 - Great. - Fred? 956 01:11:46,937 --> 01:11:49,497 We're about to uncork some champagne because 957 01:11:49,577 --> 01:11:54,128 the Sabres have won their first championship in 22 years! 958 01:11:56,537 --> 01:11:57,890 What in blazes... 959 01:11:57,977 --> 01:12:02,493 We'll be back with the Sabres' victory in just a hot second. 960 01:12:02,577 --> 01:12:04,329 In other news... 961 01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:06,885 - Bloody hell! - What is it now? 962 01:12:06,977 --> 01:12:08,968 - The whole booth is down. - It's not! 963 01:12:09,537 --> 01:12:14,770 In other news, fighting erupted in the Gaza Strip today, 964 01:12:14,857 --> 01:12:16,893 as Israelis and Palestinians... 965 01:12:16,977 --> 01:12:18,330 - Bruce. - What? 966 01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,614 We've got a situation here. They're rioting right outside. 967 01:12:21,697 --> 01:12:24,416 - You're kidding. - The whole town has gone crazy. 968 01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:31,134 Go on, Bruce. Say something. 969 01:12:32,257 --> 01:12:35,454 Ladies and gentlemen, this just in. 970 01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:41,410 Possibly the biggest breaking news story this town has ever seen. 971 01:12:48,337 --> 01:12:50,328 And I gotta go. 972 01:12:51,137 --> 01:12:53,128 Sorry, Jack. 973 01:12:53,617 --> 01:12:55,972 Susan, it's all yours. 974 01:12:59,177 --> 01:13:01,247 Sabres! 975 01:13:01,337 --> 01:13:03,487 Sabres rule! 976 01:13:03,577 --> 01:13:05,886 Down with the lottery! 977 01:13:05,977 --> 01:13:08,127 Repent! The end is near! 978 01:13:21,777 --> 01:13:23,608 The lottery sucks! 979 01:13:23,977 --> 01:13:25,888 I only won 17 bucks! 980 01:13:28,097 --> 01:13:30,088 Channel 7 lies! 981 01:13:31,817 --> 01:13:33,694 Oh, no! 982 01:13:45,097 --> 01:13:47,611 God! 983 01:13:49,697 --> 01:13:51,688 God? 984 01:13:52,457 --> 01:13:54,448 Are you here? 985 01:13:57,057 --> 01:13:59,571 Hello? I need your help! 986 01:14:00,057 --> 01:14:02,810 Clap on! 987 01:14:10,377 --> 01:14:12,368 Figures! 988 01:14:15,377 --> 01:14:17,845 Well, hello there, Bruce Almighty. 989 01:14:20,897 --> 01:14:24,651 Not as easy as it looks, is it, son? This God business. 990 01:14:25,617 --> 01:14:28,085 They're all out of control. 991 01:14:28,177 --> 01:14:30,247 It's me. I don't know what to do. 992 01:14:30,777 --> 01:14:33,245 Well, you're right on time. Seven o'clock. 993 01:14:36,497 --> 01:14:38,488 The 7th at 7.00. 994 01:14:52,497 --> 01:14:54,488 All righty, then. 995 01:14:56,777 --> 01:14:59,610 - There we are. - It's good. 996 01:15:01,817 --> 01:15:03,375 It's a wonderful thing. 997 01:15:03,457 --> 01:15:08,247 No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up. 998 01:15:09,137 --> 01:15:12,447 There were so many. I just gave them all what they wanted. 999 01:15:12,537 --> 01:15:14,129 Yeah. 1000 01:15:14,697 --> 01:15:18,007 But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want? 1001 01:15:20,857 --> 01:15:23,246 So what do I do? 1002 01:15:25,777 --> 01:15:29,895 Parting your soup is not a miracle. It's a magic trick. 1003 01:15:30,657 --> 01:15:33,125 A single mom who's working two jobs 1004 01:15:33,217 --> 01:15:37,096 and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. 1005 01:15:37,497 --> 01:15:40,807 A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, 1006 01:15:41,657 --> 01:15:43,648 that's a miracle. 1007 01:15:44,417 --> 01:15:46,692 People want me to do everything for them. 1008 01:15:46,777 --> 01:15:49,735 What they don't realize is they have the power. 1009 01:15:51,017 --> 01:15:53,611 You want to see a miracle, son? 1010 01:15:53,697 --> 01:15:55,688 Be the miracle. 1011 01:15:58,897 --> 01:16:00,888 Wait. Are you leaving? 1012 01:16:01,537 --> 01:16:04,210 Yeah. I figure you can handle things now. 1013 01:16:04,297 --> 01:16:06,970 But what if I need you? What if I have questions? 1014 01:16:07,057 --> 01:16:09,366 That's your problem, Bruce. 1015 01:16:09,457 --> 01:16:11,413 That's everybody's problem. 1016 01:16:11,497 --> 01:16:13,488 You keep looking up. 1017 01:16:17,177 --> 01:16:21,216 Order has been restored after this evening's downtown riot. 1018 01:16:21,297 --> 01:16:23,970 State officials have suspended all lottery sales 1019 01:16:24,057 --> 01:16:26,013 pending further investigation. 1020 01:16:26,097 --> 01:16:30,568 No injuries were reported in the melee, however there were dozens of arrests. 1021 01:17:16,617 --> 01:17:18,209 OK. 1022 01:17:19,497 --> 01:17:21,408 - Thanks a million. - Not a problem. 1023 01:17:21,497 --> 01:17:23,488 God bless. 1024 01:17:28,017 --> 01:17:32,010 Bruce giveth and Bruce... taketh away. 1025 01:17:32,097 --> 01:17:34,657 If you don't like it... mega-bite me. 1026 01:17:42,817 --> 01:17:44,967 - Evan? - Bruce. 1027 01:17:47,937 --> 01:17:52,806 I suppose you're here to gloat about the anchor position. Go ahead. 1028 01:17:52,897 --> 01:17:54,888 Well, actually, I... 1029 01:17:56,097 --> 01:17:59,294 I just came to tell you that I've been a royal prick. 1030 01:17:59,377 --> 01:18:02,096 The anchor position is yours. I turned down the job. 1031 01:18:02,937 --> 01:18:05,246 And I never really congratulated you. 1032 01:18:06,937 --> 01:18:08,928 Congratulations. 1033 01:18:11,137 --> 01:18:12,695 Thanks, Bruce. 1034 01:18:12,777 --> 01:18:15,655 In the financial world, things are back to normal 1035 01:18:15,737 --> 01:18:18,809 in what analysts are calling a fluke market fluctuation. 1036 01:18:18,897 --> 01:18:21,457 - You made the right move. - What about you? 1037 01:18:21,537 --> 01:18:23,653 You ready to go back out there? 1038 01:18:24,657 --> 01:18:27,376 Do the cutesy stuff? The lighter side of the news? 1039 01:18:27,457 --> 01:18:31,132 Lower and debase myself for the amusement of strangers? 1040 01:18:31,217 --> 01:18:33,492 Yeah, I could do that. Sounds like fun. 1041 01:18:33,577 --> 01:18:35,135 Good. 1042 01:18:35,817 --> 01:18:39,048 OK, Sammy, let's do it right. Like all the other dogs. 1043 01:18:39,137 --> 01:18:42,652 I don't want to make you feel bad, but they're laughing at you, pal. 1044 01:18:42,737 --> 01:18:44,853 Come on. Concentrate. 1045 01:18:44,937 --> 01:18:47,087 Pump it out, if you have to. 1046 01:18:47,177 --> 01:18:49,566 What am I going to do with you? 1047 01:18:51,777 --> 01:18:54,575 I know this seems kind of crazy, 1048 01:18:54,657 --> 01:18:58,616 but desperate times call for desperate measures. 1049 01:19:00,857 --> 01:19:03,451 OK, Sammy. Do your thing. 1050 01:19:04,297 --> 01:19:07,255 That's it. Good boy! 1051 01:19:09,457 --> 01:19:11,175 Training my dog. 1052 01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:33,129 Yes! We did it! 1053 01:19:35,657 --> 01:19:38,888 We're doing it doggy style 1054 01:19:40,217 --> 01:19:42,412 I'll alert Penthouse Forum. 1055 01:19:42,497 --> 01:19:44,488 Hi, Deb. How are you? 1056 01:19:45,297 --> 01:19:46,616 How's Grace? 1057 01:19:46,697 --> 01:19:49,416 I didn't come to chat. I came for Grace's stuff. 1058 01:19:55,577 --> 01:19:58,296 - You need a...? - That's OK. I've got it. 1059 01:20:05,177 --> 01:20:07,008 I don't know if she... 1060 01:20:07,097 --> 01:20:09,486 I don't know if she wants that or not. 1061 01:20:13,337 --> 01:20:16,329 This is full. You did all this? 1062 01:20:26,737 --> 01:20:29,046 You know what I do before I go to bed? 1063 01:20:29,137 --> 01:20:32,812 I tuck my kids in, maybe have some ice cream and watch Conan. 1064 01:20:34,577 --> 01:20:36,568 Know what Grace does? 1065 01:20:37,737 --> 01:20:39,728 She prays. 1066 01:20:40,857 --> 01:20:42,609 Most of the time for you. 1067 01:21:03,697 --> 01:21:06,928 Find Grace Connelly. 1068 01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:11,648 The woman does pray a lot. 1069 01:21:13,617 --> 01:21:16,211 Find... Grace and Bruce. 1070 01:21:17,337 --> 01:21:19,646 "Dear God, please help Bruce find himself, 1071 01:21:19,737 --> 01:21:21,693 find contentment, find you. " 1072 01:21:21,777 --> 01:21:25,213 "Dear God, please help Bruce. He seems to be struggling. " 1073 01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:27,253 "Dear God, give Bruce strength. " 1074 01:21:27,337 --> 01:21:29,055 "Dear God, bless Bruce. " 1075 01:21:33,737 --> 01:21:35,568 It's her. 1076 01:21:36,137 --> 01:21:39,288 Sammy, she's logging on. She's praying right now. 1077 01:21:46,297 --> 01:21:48,015 Please, God. 1078 01:21:49,577 --> 01:21:50,896 Please. 1079 01:21:50,977 --> 01:21:52,933 I still love him. 1080 01:21:55,257 --> 01:21:58,135 But I don't want to love him any more. 1081 01:21:58,217 --> 01:22:00,606 I don't want to hurt any more. Please. 1082 01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:03,208 Help me forget. 1083 01:22:03,937 --> 01:22:05,928 Please help me to let it go. 1084 01:22:07,057 --> 01:22:09,287 Please help me let him go. 1085 01:22:29,537 --> 01:22:31,528 You win! 1086 01:22:32,217 --> 01:22:34,014 I'm done! 1087 01:22:34,097 --> 01:22:37,772 Please! I don't want to do this any more! 1088 01:22:38,697 --> 01:22:40,688 I don't want to be God. 1089 01:22:41,297 --> 01:22:44,653 I want you to decide what's right for me! 1090 01:22:44,737 --> 01:22:47,456 I surrender to your will! 1091 01:23:16,497 --> 01:23:17,816 Am I...? 1092 01:23:17,897 --> 01:23:21,731 You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it. 1093 01:23:21,817 --> 01:23:23,808 But why? 1094 01:23:25,017 --> 01:23:26,609 Why now? 1095 01:23:26,697 --> 01:23:28,289 Bruce... 1096 01:23:29,177 --> 01:23:31,896 you have the divine spark. 1097 01:23:31,977 --> 01:23:35,765 You have the gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. 1098 01:23:36,857 --> 01:23:38,848 I know. I created you. 1099 01:23:40,217 --> 01:23:42,492 - Quit bragging. - See? 1100 01:23:42,577 --> 01:23:44,772 That's what I'm talking about. 1101 01:23:44,857 --> 01:23:46,848 That's the spark. 1102 01:23:51,497 --> 01:23:53,613 What do you want me to do? 1103 01:23:54,577 --> 01:23:56,408 I want you to pray, son. 1104 01:23:56,897 --> 01:24:00,014 Go ahead. Use them. 1105 01:24:05,577 --> 01:24:08,614 Lord, feed the hungry. 1106 01:24:08,697 --> 01:24:11,973 And bring peace to... 1107 01:24:13,417 --> 01:24:15,408 all of mankind. 1108 01:24:17,377 --> 01:24:19,572 - How's that? - Great. 1109 01:24:19,657 --> 01:24:22,330 If you want to be Miss America. 1110 01:24:22,417 --> 01:24:25,853 Now, come on. What do you really care about? 1111 01:24:30,177 --> 01:24:32,452 Grace. 1112 01:24:35,217 --> 01:24:37,208 You want her back? 1113 01:24:41,457 --> 01:24:43,448 No. 1114 01:24:44,537 --> 01:24:46,528 I want her to be happy. 1115 01:24:48,777 --> 01:24:51,132 No matter what that means. 1116 01:24:51,217 --> 01:24:53,412 I want her to find someone 1117 01:24:53,497 --> 01:24:55,488 who'll treat her 1118 01:24:56,377 --> 01:25:00,973 with all the love she deserved from me. 1119 01:25:03,497 --> 01:25:05,488 I want her to meet someone 1120 01:25:10,577 --> 01:25:12,568 who'll see her always 1121 01:25:13,697 --> 01:25:15,688 as I do now. 1122 01:25:20,137 --> 01:25:22,253 Through your eyes. 1123 01:25:22,857 --> 01:25:25,530 - Now that's a prayer. - Yeah? 1124 01:25:26,577 --> 01:25:29,887 Yeah. It's good. 1125 01:25:34,897 --> 01:25:37,013 I'm going to get right on it. 1126 01:25:37,817 --> 01:25:39,694 Clear! 1127 01:25:39,777 --> 01:25:42,132 That didn't feel very good. 1128 01:25:43,057 --> 01:25:45,810 - Got a rhythm. - I got a pulse. 1129 01:25:45,897 --> 01:25:48,855 - Let's get him up. - Get the backboard and brace. 1130 01:25:59,057 --> 01:26:01,013 Welcome back. 1131 01:26:01,097 --> 01:26:03,213 You're lucky to be alive, son. 1132 01:26:03,297 --> 01:26:05,288 Someone up there must like you. 1133 01:26:19,977 --> 01:26:24,095 I hear all that stuff winds up in a warehouse somewhere. 1134 01:26:29,657 --> 01:26:31,648 Hi, baby. 1135 01:26:33,417 --> 01:26:36,966 Oh, my God, look at you. 1136 01:26:37,377 --> 01:26:40,335 - I was such an idiot. - It's OK. 1137 01:26:47,377 --> 01:26:50,130 I don't know what I would have done. 1138 01:26:50,937 --> 01:26:55,328 Oh, God. I swear I wanted to be mad at you forever. 1139 01:27:06,777 --> 01:27:08,768 Now you're just showing off. 1140 01:27:19,817 --> 01:27:23,696 This is Bruce Nolan here at Buffalo's first "Be the Miracle" blood drive. 1141 01:27:23,777 --> 01:27:26,575 It's a B-E-A-utiful day. 1142 01:27:26,657 --> 01:27:29,933 So come on down, because the life you save could be mine. 1143 01:27:30,337 --> 01:27:35,092 Let's go over here. The Kowolskis have baked a cookie just for this occasion. 1144 01:27:35,177 --> 01:27:38,169 Sure it's a creepy and a shameless plug, but we love 'em. 1145 01:27:38,257 --> 01:27:40,373 Thank you, Mama. Vol - finger, nose. 1146 01:27:42,337 --> 01:27:44,567 I will have given blood twice this week. 1147 01:27:44,657 --> 01:27:46,852 For those of you who haven't heard, 1148 01:27:46,937 --> 01:27:50,407 I'd like to introduce you to the future Mrs. Exclusive. 1149 01:27:50,497 --> 01:27:53,534 Grace Connelly. There she is. 1150 01:27:53,617 --> 01:27:56,927 Look at her! Isn't she beautiful? 1151 01:27:58,057 --> 01:28:01,970 She just gave blood and she still has enough left to fill up her face. 1152 01:28:02,057 --> 01:28:05,811 Yes, behind every great man, there's a woman rolling her eyes, folks. 1153 01:28:05,897 --> 01:28:10,288 I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News reminding you to... 1154 01:28:10,377 --> 01:28:13,210 Be the miracle! 1155 01:28:14,097 --> 01:28:15,530 You heard 'em. 1156 01:28:15,617 --> 01:28:18,768 - OK, cut it. Thank you, Bruce. - Thanks, Ally. 1157 01:28:21,977 --> 01:28:25,287 - How was that? - Great. That was really great. 1158 01:28:25,377 --> 01:28:27,686 Now go over there. The nurse is waiting. 1159 01:28:27,777 --> 01:28:29,972 - Do I have to? - Oh, it's not going to hurt. 1160 01:28:30,057 --> 01:28:32,446 In fact, I think you'll find it pleasurable. 1161 01:28:32,817 --> 01:28:34,535 Baby. 1162 01:29:29,337 --> 01:29:34,252 Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sock 1163 01:29:34,337 --> 01:29:39,491 Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie. 1164 01:29:45,217 --> 01:29:47,253 Oh, Jesus. 1165 01:29:48,497 --> 01:29:49,612 I'm sorry. 1166 01:29:49,697 --> 01:29:53,576 I'm a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive. 1167 01:29:54,457 --> 01:29:56,448 Sounds delicious. 1168 01:29:59,177 --> 01:30:01,930 Well, there are storehouses all over the world 1169 01:30:02,017 --> 01:30:05,407 with tons of stuff on ice, and... 1170 01:30:06,257 --> 01:30:08,896 - Sorry. - You were like this. Sorry, go on. 1171 01:30:10,657 --> 01:30:12,852 Positive, IB positive... Sorry. 1172 01:30:12,937 --> 01:30:14,928 I have a rary... 1173 01:30:16,497 --> 01:30:18,488 She has a rary! 1174 01:30:18,577 --> 01:30:20,932 I have a very rare blood type. 1175 01:30:21,017 --> 01:30:22,575 I'm AB negative. 1176 01:30:22,657 --> 01:30:24,648 - I'm IB positive. - Am I AB negative? 1177 01:30:24,737 --> 01:30:26,773 I don't know what you are any more. 1178 01:30:27,217 --> 01:30:30,926 I'm going to need a frickin' miracle to get to work on time. 1179 01:30:52,697 --> 01:30:54,494 That'll work. 1180 01:30:54,577 --> 01:30:58,411 Other stories in the... 1181 01:31:02,097 --> 01:31:05,407 The prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today, 1182 01:31:05,497 --> 01:31:08,807 and in other... 1183 01:31:10,377 --> 01:31:12,413 In other... 1184 01:31:13,617 --> 01:31:15,608 In other news... 1185 01:31:19,577 --> 01:31:21,966 I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness No... 1186 01:31:24,417 --> 01:31:26,408 Eyewitness Nose. 1187 01:31:27,057 --> 01:31:29,048 And clear! 1188 01:31:29,537 --> 01:31:31,528 Be the miracle! 1189 01:31:31,617 --> 01:31:33,608 That's right! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org