1 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,399 [Bridget] Another year, a brand new diary. 2 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,793 Once again I was summoned, kicking and screaming, 3 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,871 to my mother's turkey curry buffet, 4 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,953 where I've had some of the most shaming experiences of my life. 5 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,436 - [Doorbell] - Hello, darling. 6 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,429 - Lovely to see you. - [Magic Moments plays] 7 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,636 It was, as usual, crammed full 8 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,678 with some of the most dangerous perverts in the UK, 9 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,752 disguised as close, personal friends of my parents. 10 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,672 - Hello, Bridget. - Hello, Una. 11 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,149 - Oh, no, thanks. - Love the jumper. 12 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,790 - I prefer what's underneath it. - Uncle Geoffrey! 13 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,076 - Hello, gorgeous. - Hello. 14 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,838 - Hello, darling. - Hello, Dad. How's it going? 15 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,513 I wish I was dead. 16 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:03,118 [Bridget] But this year, there was one crucial difference. 17 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,511 - Nice jumper. - My mother's taste never falters. 18 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,271 Never. 19 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,032 [# The Sound Of Music] 20 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,918 [Birdsong] 21 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,508 [Bridget hums along with song] 22 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,434 You always wonder how it's going to work out at the end of the story. 23 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,716 Maria and Captain Von Trapp, 24 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,632 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, 25 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,758 Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones. 26 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:02,117 I've found my happy ending at last. 27 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,034 And nothing in the world can spoil it. 28 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,558 Well, almost nothing. 29 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,757 [Man] Bridget Jones, what the fuck are you doing? 30 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,275 - I, I can't see anywhere soft to land. - How about on your arse? 31 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,716 Bridget, unless you want to get sacked at 6,000 feet, 32 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,917 you will be on your way in exactly three seconds. 33 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,719 Three, two, one... cue Bridget. 34 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,398 Skydiving: 35 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,155 A dangerous bane to the countryside and emergency services, 36 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,392 or a safe and exhilarating hobby? 37 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,632 Well... let's see, shall we? 38 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,109 Go. Jump. 39 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,874 - For Christ’s sakes, go! - [Screams] 40 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,110 [Shrill scream] 41 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,238 - She's out. Unit Two, you got her? - [Man] We see her. 42 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,994 - Bridget, open the chute. - [Bridget screams] 43 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,031 - Open it. - [Bridget screams] 44 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,710 Open your fucking parachute! 45 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,440 [Director] Pull the thingy or you will die! 46 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,030 [screams] 47 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,789 Oh. 48 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,431 [Bridget] Honestly, you forget just one teeny, weeny detail 49 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,795 and everyone treats you like an idiot. 50 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:22,508 # [Carly Simon] Nobody does it better 51 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:29,438 # Makes me feel sad for the rest 52 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,958 # Nobody does it 53 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,511 # Half as good as you 54 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,955 # Baby, baby 55 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:48,955 # Darling, you're the best 56 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,028 # Baby, you're the best... 57 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,398 [Bridget] Where was I? Oh, yes... Mark Darcy. 58 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:01,031 The question is: What happens after you walk off into the sunset? 59 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,079 [Director] Bridget? Earth to Bridget Sodding Jones. 60 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,630 - [Pigs snort] - [Bridget screams] 61 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,156 [Bridget groans] 62 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,158 [Director] Bridget, you're on. You're live. 63 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,673 Well, this is Bridget Jones for Sit Up Britain, 64 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,150 reporting to you from a big vat of excrement. 65 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,312 - [Pigs snort] - [Bridget yelps] 66 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,075 - [Squelching] - Give me a close-up of the porker. 67 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,595 [# Minnie Ripperton: Loving You] 68 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,152 [Bridget] Who cares about the odd professional hiccup? 69 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,629 I've been in a functional relationship 70 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,872 with an adult male for six wonderful weeks, 71 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,555 four fabulous days and seven precious hours. 72 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,957 Or to put it another way, 71 ecstatic shags. 73 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,669 He's given up being snooty, and I've given up smoking. 74 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,878 - # Loving you... - Well, he thinks I have anyway, 75 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,031 which is practically the same thing. 76 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,350 #... a dream come true... 77 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,351 [Bridget] Mark Darcy is perfect. 78 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,990 Not a fuckwit, alcoholic, workaholic, pervert or megalomaniac, 79 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,958 but total sex god and human rights lawyer. 80 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,759 He is a miracle, really. 81 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,388 - Bridget, will you stop? - [Record scratches] 82 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,120 Stop staring at me. Go and find something to do. 83 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,998 Sorry. 84 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,276 [Song starts up again] # La la la la la... 85 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,115 [Bridget] So, as you can see, the incredible truth is 86 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,192 the wilderness years are over. 87 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,592 Bridget Jones is a love pariah no more. 88 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,279 [Bell] 89 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,510 Morning, Bridget. Late again. 90 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,876 [Sighs] Yes. Sorry. 91 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,635 I was in bed with my boyfriend. 92 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,075 He's a human rights lawyer, you know. 93 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,071 Yes, we know. 94 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,709 I cannot believe how fantastic shagging was last night. 95 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,311 Maybe I'll ring him. 96 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,193 No, no... 97 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:17,273 Obviously it's important to tell one's boyfriend how nice he looks naked, 98 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,955 but I have crucial, Pulitzer Prize winning journalism to do. 99 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,190 [Speed dialling, ringing] 100 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,113 [Mark] Hello? 101 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,556 It's me. Just wondered how you are. 102 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,473 I'm fine, thanks. Everything all right with you? 103 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,631 [Whispering] Fine, though, er... 104 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,119 I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. 105 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,912 And you do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom. 106 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,998 Thank you. 107 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,789 I'm with the Mexican ambassador, the head of Amnesty International 108 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,872 and the Undersecretary for Trade and Industry. 109 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,836 And you're on speakerphone. 110 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,195 Oh. Right, well... 111 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,749 I'm quite busy with important stuff too... 112 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,118 Bridget, we're waiting for that tape about Tom, the happy hamster. 113 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,750 - [Mark] I'll call when I've finished. - Excellent. 114 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,230 And Richard wants to see you about that crap skydiving report. 115 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,550 [Whispers] Oh, fuck. 116 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,793 Oh, dear. Is this the end of my career? 117 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,471 No, it can't be. 118 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:31,316 I will fight this. I am a journalist of the highest standards and integrity. 119 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,198 [Tape whirs] 120 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,952 [On tape] This is Bridget Jones reporting from a big vat of excrement. 121 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,510 Look, I never said I could skydive and I'm terrified of heights, 122 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:50,276 - so it was really hard to concentrate. - Be quiet. They loved it upstairs. 123 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,149 Loved it. And they want us to come up with another regular spot for you. 124 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,153 [Laughs] Oh, my God. That's... 125 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,280 - I won't let you down, Richard. - Precisely. 126 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,115 ...my friends’ motto was "When in Rome, do as many Romans as you can." 127 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:08,990 But if your tastes are marginally more highbrow, I also have tips. 128 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,958 Forget the Forum, definitely forget the Coliseum, 129 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,554 no fun now they can't slaughter Christians. 130 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:19,350 Forget the Sistine Chapel, first example of a poof interior designer gone mad... 131 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,832 What is Daniel Cleaver doing on the television? 132 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,276 It's called The Smooth Guide. "Making culture bearable". 133 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:32,116 ...equally serene and equally beautiful Professore Giovana Dabrache. 134 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,475 Who is about to show me her diptych. 135 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,710 Same old creep. [chuckles] 136 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,791 Oh. Shame. 137 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,474 He always speaks very warmly of you. 138 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,119 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 139 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,748 How about we go out for a bite to eat tonight? 140 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,912 Oh. Can’t. I have to go out with my boyfriend. 141 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,196 - He's a human rights lawyer. - I know. 142 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,396 I'm meeting him for a romantic supper. 143 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,879 - [Mobile rings] - Oh. 144 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,990 - Bridget Jones. - Bridget, it's Mark. 145 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,879 Oh. I was just talking about you. 146 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,600 I'm running late. Do you want me to cancel? 147 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,558 - Oh. No, that's fine. - Are you sure? 148 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,836 Be as late as you like. 149 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,830 Chuck him, while you're not pregnant with his unwanted child. 150 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,752 I only said he was working late. 151 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,151 In one hour, he'll be coming in his secretary's mouth 152 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,993 while he rings to say what he wants for starters. 153 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,152 [Bridget] Friends spend years finding you a boyfriend, 154 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,231 then instantly tell you to dump him. 155 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,756 Even if he isn't shagging her already, he's thinking about it. 156 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,959 A man dating a woman with large breasts will bed one with small breasts. 157 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,953 Rubbish. Mark's above all that nonsense. 158 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,873 Jellyfisher alert. Jellyfisher alert. 159 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,754 [Bridget] Janey Osborne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea 160 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,037 and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish. 161 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,716 Bridget. How's it going with that divine man of yours? 162 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,678 You must be so pleased to have a boyfriend at last. 163 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,717 First jellyfish of the evening. 164 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,110 Is he taking you to the Law Council Dinner? 165 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,510 Oh. Well, I'm sure he's just forgotten. 166 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,035 Better start slimming into that dress. 167 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,352 He's given you the night off to cheer up your single friends. Sweet. 168 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,196 Actually, he's got a big case on, trying to get everyone in Mexico out of prison. 169 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,033 We're meeting for a very late romantic dinner. 170 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,509 Really? That's so odd, 171 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:25,389 'cause I saw him an hour ago going into his house with Rebecca Gillies. 172 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,597 She's only 22. She's got legs up to here. 173 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,990 And Daddy owns half of Australia. 174 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,118 See ya, babes. 175 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,393 Who is Rebecca Gillies? What's she doing going into my boyfriend's house? 176 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,711 Where he never asks me. And with legs up to here? 177 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,509 - My legs only come up to there. - [Jude] You have fine legs. 178 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,591 Climber’s legs. 179 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,354 I say go over there and ask him, straight out, 180 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,398 are you or are you not sleeping with Rebecca Gillies? 181 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:01,348 - [Shazzer] If he says... - I won't dignify that with an answer... 182 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,431 Then you know he's shagging her. 183 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,750 # All that I have is all that you've given... 184 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,913 [Bridget] It's all about confidence and trust. Mark would never betray me. 185 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,311 Everything will be lovely and we'll have sex in the kitchen. 186 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,389 - Oh, God. - [Woman inside] I'm coming. 187 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,949 Oh, God! What is that? 188 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,554 [Woman] Two seconds, I'll be straight down. 189 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,631 Who is that? 190 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,360 #... I find you lied 191 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,671 # And I can't believe it's true 192 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:38,588 # Wrapped in her arms I see you across the street 193 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,069 # I see you across the street 194 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:47,395 # And I can't help but wonder If she knows what's going on 195 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:53,719 # You talk of love But don't know how it feels 196 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,434 # When you realise 197 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,992 # You're not the only one 198 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,752 [Mark] Let's get on with it. 199 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,992 #... oh, you better stop 200 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,469 - # Stop - # Before 201 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,200 # You tear me all apart 202 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,316 # You better stop 203 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,472 - # Stop... - You are a very demanding man. 204 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,598 - #... you go and break my heart... - [Bridget yelps] 205 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,478 [Chuckles] Bridget Jones. 206 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,676 No, I'm Bridget Jones. 207 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,559 - [Chuckles] That's what I meant. - You must be... 208 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,951 Rebecca Gillies. I've been so looking forward to meeting you 209 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,112 - after everything Mark's told me. - Why? What's he said? 210 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,276 - Where is Mark? - Actually, er... 211 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,159 - [Mark] Becky, who is it? - Becky? 212 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,788 - Right. - Great. 213 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,590 - Right... - Bridget. 214 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,751 Hello, Mark. 215 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,835 [Laughs nervously] Hello... 216 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,878 lawyers who work with Mark. 217 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,076 [All] Good evening. 218 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,198 Everything under control, I see. 219 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,715 Um... Excellent graph. 220 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,869 - Lovely legs. - Thank you. 221 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,031 [Lawyers chat] 222 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,030 I am so sorry. 223 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,749 I thought... Oh, I don't know what I thought. 224 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,831 Now you're really angry with me. 225 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,912 - No, I'm not. - It's OK, you can say if you are. 226 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,356 - It's not the end of the world. - I'll get you a glass of wine. 227 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,074 The thing is I ran into Janey Osborne, 228 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:48,155 who said she'd just seen you with this girl, with really long legs, 229 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,233 and Shazzer and Jude said I should get over here straightaway. 230 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,075 Following the orders of the dating war command, you executed a raid. 231 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,913 - You are angry. - I'm not, just disappointed. 232 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,595 Disappointed? Oh, God, that's worse than angry. 233 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,036 I'm just disappointed I can't take you home this instant. 234 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,396 Oh. [chuckles] What about all those lawyers? 235 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,553 Oh, plenty of time to butter them up at the Law Council Dinner next Friday. 236 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,555 Don't want to go, do you? 237 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,392 I'd love to. 238 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,635 Oh, stupid Bridget, stupid friends. 239 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,360 Wonderful, loyal Mark Darcy... 240 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,314 ...who loves me just the way I am. 241 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,879 [Birdsong] 242 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,151 [Bridget pants] 243 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,392 - [Mark] What are you doing? - Getting dressed. 244 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,869 Why are you dancing around in that tent? 245 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:22,433 [Sighs] Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits. 246 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,388 That's pointless, because I have a very high regard for your wobbly bits 247 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,471 in all circumstances. 248 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,551 - Really? - Absolutely. 249 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,435 I think it's high time we had another look. 250 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,439 # Yeah 251 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,791 # Are you digging on me? 252 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,678 # Yeah 253 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,949 # I'm digging on you, now, baby 254 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,314 # Yeah 255 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,750 # Do you want a little bit of my love? 256 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:50,909 # Yeah... 257 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,709 [Bridget] He really is very, very, very nice. 258 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,991 # All the time I knew 259 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,718 # That you loved me 260 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,238 # And you promised me... 261 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,391 I miss you too. 262 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,395 # That you would be my only man 263 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,709 # Yeah 264 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,111 # Are you digging on me? 265 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,998 [Bridget] I've never been happier in my entire life. 266 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,232 However, must not obsess or fantasise. 267 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,711 Bridget Darcy. 268 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,836 Mrs Darcy. 269 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,036 Mr and Mrs Darcy. 270 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,509 Lord and Lady Darcy. 271 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,072 Wonder what Mark Darcy would be like as a father. 272 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,515 To his children, I mean, not to me. 273 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,478 That would be a weird, Oedipus-like thought. 274 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,554 At last, life is on track. 275 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,110 Bridget Jones: Fiancée, wife... 276 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,633 mother. 277 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,711 Bugger. 278 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,350 [Man] Ever fancied doing it in the dark with a total stranger? 279 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,308 All right, perhaps not a total stranger. 280 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,753 Back off, Cleaver, or I'll report you to a sexual harassment tribunal. 281 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,319 I'm a serious journalist. 282 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,835 Is that your most serious skirt, Jones? 283 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,479 Oh... 284 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,437 Do you like it? 285 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,830 I thought you hated television. 286 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,151 I hate watching television. Being on it is... Hello there. 287 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,231 ...entirely different. 288 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,234 Daniel, thought the Madrid piece was outstanding, really original. 289 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,188 Cheers, Jeremy. Appreciate that. We had to work really hard on that one. 290 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,352 Tosser. Talking of which, how is Mark Darcy? 291 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,836 - You still...? - Yes, I am. 292 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,309 And I intend to be for a very long time. 293 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,029 Good. You know what a fan I am of any woman married to Mark Darcy. 294 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,317 - That's not funny. - Seriously, though, Jones, 295 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,153 speaking purely unselfishly, I worry about you. 296 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,593 You do know that it's a fact that most lawyer's wives die of boredom? 297 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,636 And what about you? Still shagging anything that moves? 298 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,913 As a matter of fact, no. No shagging whatsoever. 299 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,196 I'm in shag therapy. 300 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,353 It turns out I have a problem. I go to meetings, talk about my feelings. 301 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,476 Hug people who smell. 302 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,234 - I don't believe you. - I'm trying... 303 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,551 ...to be a better man, Bridge, 304 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,518 so that the next time a better woman comes along, 305 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,592 I won't make a pig's ear of it. 306 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,551 Daniel. Meeting? 307 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,151 Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 308 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,791 Very good hair, Jones. 309 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,510 By the way, um, you're not free for dinner tonight, are you? 310 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,229 No, I'm not. I'm going to the Law Council Dinner. 311 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,755 It's a very important evening. 312 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,559 [# Kylie Minogue: Can't Get You Out Of My Head] 313 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,392 I can't wear that. 314 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,599 Bridge, do you want to get married and have babies before you become barren? 315 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,829 Trust me... 316 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,754 [Bridget] Magda: My only grown-up friend. Married to Mark's partner. 317 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,629 She actually got engaged on the night of the Law Council Dinner. 318 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,711 Try it with the dress. 319 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,199 Oh, my God! 320 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:10,114 Remember, we are trying to reduce your body size by 15 per cent. 321 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,477 You hold the front, I'll hold the back. One, two, three... 322 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,916 [Bridget whimpers] 323 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,799 - [Bridget shrieks] - What's going on in there? 324 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,318 Not too bad, actually. 325 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,878 Tra-la! 326 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,998 Fantastic. 327 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,277 Right, let us begin. 328 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,433 I am going to make you into a princess. 329 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,669 Goody. 330 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,389 [Bridget] Nothing like being in the hands of a total genius. 331 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,832 [Whooshing] 332 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,752 Wow. 333 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,433 - [Jude on phone] Whatever you do... - Bugger it. 334 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,556 ...don't iron your hair. 335 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,436 [Jude] It's a lot worse than I thought. 336 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,591 We could flatten it with Brylcream. 337 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,035 What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs. 338 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,352 - I preferred you in the gold. - No, whatever you do, not the gold. 339 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,116 Great. I'm late with mad hair and can barely breathe in scary knickers. 340 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,716 # La la la La la la la la... 341 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,314 [Bridget] Oh, God. I'm very worried. 342 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:19,349 What if someone says "Bridget Jones, get out of here, you are ridiculous"? 343 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,032 Stop it. 344 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,398 The most important thing, of course, is to look absolutely wonderful 345 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,120 and make a magnificent entrance. 346 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,398 # I just can't get you out of my head... 347 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,676 [chatter] 348 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,511 [Violins] 349 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,912 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 350 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,234 - Hello. - I think you should go to the ladies. 351 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,914 But I went before I left home. 352 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,472 Trust me on this one. 353 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,792 [Gasps] Oh. 354 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,871 Not good. 355 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,755 [Thinks] All right, tiny make-up mistake, 356 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,630 but I always have wit and conversation to fall back on. 357 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,312 Thank you. 358 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,196 - Bridget. - Hello. 359 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,435 Derek, Horatio, Camilla. 360 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,672 - Horatio? - Yes, Horatio. 361 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,469 Horatio was just saying he's totally against charitable giving. 362 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,551 [Laughs] 363 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,072 - What? - Well, obviously you don't mean it. 364 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:41,597 Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful to give a beggar fifty pence? 365 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,672 - Maybe he's just hungry. - Don't be so naive. 366 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,549 The people you see outside the tube every day are there by choice. 367 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,598 - End of story. - Oh, no, it's not. 368 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,274 Some people have terrible personal problems, 369 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:59,150 and other people might have lost their family in some tragic ferry disaster. 370 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,835 And some people are just plain hopeless. 371 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,676 Honestly, this is the sort of rubbish you'd expect from fat, balding 372 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:13,631 Tory, Home Counties, upper-middle-class twits. 373 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,869 [Music stops] 374 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,833 - [Chatter resumes] - [Laughs uneasily] 375 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,156 [Violins, chatter] 376 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,594 [Man] Yeah, very good. Tested my resolve. 377 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,678 How did I do? 378 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,559 You seem to have made quite an impression. 379 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,470 I've put you next to Giles Benwick. 380 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,916 - Oh, I'm not sitting next to you? - No. He's terribly nice, 381 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,550 but his wife's just run off with one of the partners. 382 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,439 He probably won't mention it, but you should know. 383 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,353 I always knew she was out of my league. 384 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:58,390 You see, there's the high-fliers, like Annabel and Mark Darcy 385 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:03,111 and there's the gorgeous girls, like Rebecca there 386 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,635 and there's the rest of us. 387 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,320 Like you and me, you mean? 388 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,436 Absolutely. 389 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,637 I mean, look at the state of us. 390 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,996 You and me stumbled into the VIP room by mistake 391 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,596 and it's only a matter of moments before they show us the door. 392 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,829 [Pounding] 393 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:35,480 My lords, ladies and gentlemen, let the quiz begin. 394 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,556 [Laughs] Oh, goody. I love quizzes. 395 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,710 All those years of playing Trivial Pursuits are about to pay off. 396 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,153 Now I want to see your hands poised over those bells. Ready? 397 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,869 Here we go. What are something called "customary freeholds"? 398 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,112 - [Bell] - [Man] Superior copyhold. 399 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,474 [Speaker] Yes. 400 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,279 What is the correct grace used in the Inner Temple 401 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,750 for the second mooting night of Michaelmas term? 402 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,913 - [Bell] - [Man] Amas bibendo... fructis. 403 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,197 Jolly good. What is an overreaching conveyance? 404 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,432 What is rack-rent? When was breach of promise abolished? 405 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,556 Define "damnum sentit dominus". 406 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:21,669 Translate "reddendo singula singulis" into Ancient Greek. 407 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,956 I believe this is the answer. 408 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:25,473 [Bell] 409 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:29,269 Hippodamoi credemnon louestai. 410 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,432 - [Speaker] Absolutely correct. - [Applause] 411 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,835 [Speaker] Now, for our final and deciding round, 412 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,436 the category is contemporary culture. 413 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,033 [Murmuring] 414 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,476 Who did the design for Princess Diana's wedding dress? 415 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,869 - [Bell] - The Emmanuels. 416 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,349 - Correct. - Excellent, Bridget. 417 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,432 Name the character in Footballers' Wives 418 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:03,118 who, in one memorable episode, set fire to her own breasts. 419 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,599 - [Bell] - Chardonnay. 420 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,671 - [Speaker] Correct. - [Applause] 421 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,797 At this point, there are only two tables in contention 422 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,315 and only one question left. 423 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,632 What was the name of Madonna's first UK single? 424 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,109 - [Bell] - [Bridget quietly] Lucky Star. 425 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,352 - [Speaker] Sorry, I didn't quite hear. - Are you sure? 426 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,478 - Wasn't it Holiday? - No, everyone thinks it is, 427 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:29,789 but it's not. 428 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,838 My entire life has been leading up to this very moment. 429 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,993 Take that knife, slice off my head and boil it if I'm wrong. 430 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,639 The correct answer is Lucky Star. 431 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,990 - No. - [Groans of disappointment] 432 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,833 - The correct answer is... - Is it Holiday? 433 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,878 - [Speaker] Holiday, indeed, yes. - [Applause] 434 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:57,636 [Speaker] The winners of the 42nd Annual Law Council Quiz are... 435 00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,870 the Legal Eagles. 436 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,951 [Cheering] 437 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,398 - Lovely to see you, Bridget. - Oh, thanks, Rebecca. 438 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,471 Good night. 439 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,359 [Horn] 440 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,034 [Bridget] Why didn't you speak to me all night? 441 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,430 [Mark] That's the point of those dinners. 442 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,115 But you talked to Rebecca. And you talked to Horatio. 443 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,311 I'll never fit in with your friends. 444 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,519 Not if you go on calling everyone "balding, upper-middle-class twits". 445 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,752 Well, they were balding, upper-middle-class twits. 446 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,990 Except for the ones who had hair. 447 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,269 I suppose you agree with them that poor people deserve to be poor? 448 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,351 Don't be ridiculous. 449 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,035 - So now I'm ridiculous? - Yes, tonight you were a little. 450 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,555 Well, tonight you were an arrogant arse. 451 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:07,873 I think I may have made a mistake inviting you 452 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,474 and your folding underpants into my life. 453 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,191 Good night. 454 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,116 If you had asked me tonight, 455 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,188 I'd have said no, anyway. 456 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,272 Asked you what? 457 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,954 - Bridget? - [Sirens nearby] 458 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,031 Asked you what? 459 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,155 [Bridget] Oh, God, I've done it. 460 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,356 I've gone and done it. 461 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,433 One minute, you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, 462 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,558 next minute, you're never going to see them again. 463 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,918 [Beeps] 464 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,633 [Rings] 465 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:17,348 [Mark] If you have a message for Mark Darcy, please speak after the tone. 466 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:18,589 [Beep] 467 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,753 Hello, it's me. I'm really, really sorry... 468 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,433 [buzzer] 469 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,670 Sorry, it's the door. 470 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,310 Don't go away, I have something really, really important to say. 471 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,028 [Buzzer] 472 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,314 - Yes, who is it? - [Mark] It's me. 473 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,119 - Mark. - Oh, right. 474 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,396 Er, just a moment. 475 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,112 I'm on the phone. 476 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,191 [Alarm] 477 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,596 [Laughs] You're outside. 478 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,596 Look, er... 479 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,231 I'll ring you later. 480 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,916 Unless you've come to chuck me once and for all. 481 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,271 In which case, 482 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,479 bye and thank you, and... sorry. 483 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,039 [Buzzer] 484 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,236 Oh, God, please don't chuck me. 485 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,994 If you have chucked me, please change your mind, 486 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,116 I'll behave much better in future. 487 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,669 - [Buzzer] - On the other hand, if you haven't, 488 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,230 please behave better next time we go out. Stuck-up snob. 489 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:29,909 [Beep] 490 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,839 What do you want? 491 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,833 I'd like to come up. You are, after all, my girlfriend. 492 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,197 Even though I shouted at you and called you an arrogant arse? 493 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,511 Unfortunately, yes. You see, the problematic thing is... 494 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,511 I love you. 495 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,833 W- what? 496 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,196 - I said I love you. - I'm sorry, I missed that again. 497 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,237 I said I love you, for God's sake! 498 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,231 [All jeer] 499 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,999 All right, no need to shout. 500 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,116 I'll come down and let you in. 501 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,032 [All cheer] 502 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,588 You might be needing this in the future. 503 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,471 He said he loves me. 504 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,474 - [Tom] He said he loves you? - He said he loves me. 505 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:49,394 - Right, where is he now? - [Whispers] He's in the bedroom. 506 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,471 Go back in there, Bridge, 507 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,679 and whatever you do, act completely nonchalant. 508 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,828 Bridget, you're staring at me again. 509 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,033 Sorry. 510 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,837 Listen, I know this evening didn't go exactly as planned, 511 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,429 but there was a very important question I wanted to ask you tonight. 512 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,749 - Oh, really? - Yes. 513 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,391 [Takes deep breath] 514 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,791 I've actually been meaning to ask this for quite some time. 515 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,669 I've just never really found the right way to put it. 516 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,951 Darling Bridget... 517 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,118 ...would you... 518 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,788 ...like to go on a skiing mini-break? 519 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,553 Yes! 520 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:55,875 # What the world... 521 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,349 [Bridget] This is not just a mini-break. 522 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,637 This is a holiday in heaven. 523 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,799 Told a tiny lie about being an extremely experienced skier. 524 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,399 But, honestly, how hard can it be? 525 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,356 - Ah. - Shall we? 526 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,314 [Bridget[ I know I'm going to like skiing a lot. 527 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,199 Very romantic, very relaxing. 528 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,238 - Bar going up. - No. What? Why? 529 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,951 [Bridget whimpers] 530 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,038 Um... 531 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,079 Er... 532 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,151 Oh. Oh, God. 533 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,992 [Whimpers] 534 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,798 Oh, God. Oh. 535 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,758 [Groans] 536 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,318 Ah. 537 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,597 [Screams] 538 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,078 Bridget. 539 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,516 Rebecca. What are you doing here? 540 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,911 - Didn't Mark tell you we were coming? - No, he didn't. 541 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,150 It was me who recommended the place. 542 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,959 - I've been coming since I was 11. - Really? 543 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,633 [Thinks] Three whole years. 544 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,916 Come on, up you get. 545 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,752 Come on. 546 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,910 - There you go. - Are you all right? 547 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,798 Yes, fine, thanks. 548 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,190 - You sure? - Why is Rebecca here? 549 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,477 Oh, God. Well, I mentioned that we were coming 550 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,519 and she said why didn't they come too, and I couldn't say no, could I? 551 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,035 Come on, you two, let's crack on, shall we? 552 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,077 Actually, I might just sit this one out. You head on. 553 00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:52,549 - See you down there. - You sure? 554 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:54,870 Absolutely. I'll be fine in a minute. 555 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,429 Right, I'll see you at base camp, then. 556 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:03,872 [Thinks] Bastard. I can't believe he's left me. 557 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:08,669 Ooh. 558 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,879 Oooh. 559 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,312 [Thinks] So, romantic getaway has turned into lawyer's reunion. 560 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,913 Oooh. 561 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,038 I can't believe we're already into group holidays 562 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,397 after only eight weeks of total, undisturbed sex. 563 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,951 Wait a minute... 564 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,429 No. Eight weeks? 565 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,909 It couldn't be, could it? 566 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,116 Totally undisturbed... 567 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,431 Oh, God. I'm pregnant. 568 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,991 [Whines] 569 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:57,798 [Screams] 570 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,916 And going to die! 571 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,831 [cheering] 572 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,679 [Screams] 573 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,672 [Screams] Oh, my God! 574 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,713 I can't see! 575 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,950 [Screams] Big bump! 576 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,156 Get out of the way! 577 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,231 [Screams] 578 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,112 Who's this? An eccentric but exhilarating performance 579 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:30,395 from a total unknown, 580 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,757 who's now solidly in position for the bronze. 581 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,751 - [Screams] - [Bell clangs] 582 00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,438 [Whines] 583 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,396 I would like a pregnancy test, please. 584 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,075 A pregnancy test. 585 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,910 Ich bien, er, possibly... 586 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,798 mit baby. 587 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,712 Er... 588 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,998 Kinder! I am on back... 589 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,276 and he, er... 590 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,115 maken ze lieben. Er, with me. 591 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,273 [German] She's pregnant! 592 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,350 Oh, no! No, no, not pregnant. 593 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,077 [German] She's bloated. 594 00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,037 - Condom? - Nein. Nein, nein. 595 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,033 Maybe like this, but maybe like this. 596 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,714 [German] I think her problem is psychological. 597 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,348 [German] There is nothing a pill can do to help her. 598 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,193 I'm a girl and I met a boy. 599 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,511 Fraulein, and I met frau... boy. 600 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,312 And possibly now mit baby, uh-huh? 601 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,989 Right, moment of truth awaits. 602 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,031 What if I am pregnant? 603 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,149 I must try not to get hopes up too high. 604 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,278 Boyfriend and baby seems just too lucky. 605 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,557 Bridget? I have been looking everywhere for you. 606 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,633 I thought you'd broken a leg or something... Oh, God. 607 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:26,359 - You're not...? - I might be. 608 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,835 - What if I were? - Well, I suppose I'd... 609 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:37,476 To be quite frank, it'd be bloody fantastic. 610 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,313 I mean, if a little ahead of schedule. 611 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:44,234 - Are you really pregnant? - Well, give it three minutes. 612 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,992 - What do you fancy? Boy or a girl? - I dunno, it doesn't matter. 613 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,117 Although, I suppose I've always had the fantasy of a son. 614 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,076 - Another Mark Darcy. - Or maybe something like Huck. 615 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:11,915 Or River. Or some fabulous Hebrew name like Noah. 616 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,356 Anyway, I could teach him to play cricket and rugby 617 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,715 and visit him at Eton on St Andrew's Day. 618 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:18,869 Eton? 619 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,999 Yes. The Darcy men have been going to Eton for five generations. 620 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,714 Well, my son's not going to be sent away from home. 621 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,953 Especially to some fascist institution where they stick a poker up your arse 622 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,509 that you're never allowed to remove again. 623 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,391 I see. 624 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,270 - I didn't mean you. - No, of course not. 625 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,477 So what's the alternative? Sleeping in his parents' bed, 626 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,596 breastfeeding until he's a teenager 627 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,117 and some progressive school, where the day is spent singing Yellow Submarine? 628 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,872 Oh, you're absolutely right. 629 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:55,158 It's madness to allow a child to enjoy his education or live with his parents. 630 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,108 What is madness is to have a child if his parents can't have a discussion 631 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,157 without one shouting at the other. 632 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:02,469 It's negative. 633 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,995 - That's too bad. - Yes, very sad. 634 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,070 Perhaps we should go out for lunch tomorrow. Get out of the grump. 635 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,390 That's a good idea in theory, but you made a family arrangement. 636 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,356 Oh, God. 637 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,033 [Doorbell] 638 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,349 Darlings! 639 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,353 I've had the fabulous idea of inviting your parents. 640 00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,478 [Bridget] Another one of Mother's culinary triumphs. 641 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,189 - Everything in miniature. - Mini treacle tart, Admiral Darcy? 642 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:08,239 No, no, thank you. The mini spotted dick rather finished me off. 643 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,719 [Polite laughter] 644 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,274 So, Mark, Bridget, when are you two lovebirds going to name the day? 645 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,117 Bridget, you must want to hear those ding-dong bells. 646 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:29,513 Well, we're certainly not thinking about that yet. Are we, Bridget? 647 00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:32,196 No. God, no. 648 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,157 Of course not. 649 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,675 [Mr Jones] Good. Well, that's that sorted. 650 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,354 So, Admiral, out on the high seas. How was it? 651 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:57,152 - Did you mean that thing you said? - What thing? 652 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,710 - You know what thing. - No, I don't know what thing. 653 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,511 The thing thing. 654 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,198 Now, let's see, there are any number of things, um... 655 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,669 in an afternoon full of all sorts of things, 656 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:11,637 so I, um... 657 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:16,157 The thing where you said you're not, um... 658 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:23,948 That you're not, not even thinking about, um... 659 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,155 What's the matter? 660 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,876 Let's get a drink. 661 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,715 I'm going to go to the loo, then I'm going to come back. 662 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,155 And then we're going to be civilised. 663 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:03,999 [Telephone] 664 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:09,432 If you have a message for Mark Darcy, speak after the tone. 665 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,589 [Beep] 666 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,876 Mark, it's Rebecca. Are you there? 667 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,437 Obviously not. Probably still out with Bridget. 668 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,710 Um... Anyway, I hope lunch with the parents went well. 669 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,917 I'm sure you were dutiful and very polite, as usual. 670 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:29,995 Er... Whatever. Anyway, look, maybe give me a ring when you get back. 671 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,720 I thought I might pop round for a nightcap. 672 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,996 But I suppose that's a silly idea. Bridget's probably there. 673 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,670 - Sleep tight. - [Beep] 674 00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,835 Oh, Christ, what now? 675 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,788 Are you or are you not having an affair with Rebecca Gillies? 676 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,278 I won't dignify that question with an answer. 677 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,158 Right. 678 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,832 All I did was go to the loo. 679 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:00,757 Bridget! 680 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,718 Bridget. 681 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,109 That's not your coat. 682 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,916 Oh, right. 683 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,271 Oh, Bridget, what are you doing? 684 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:26,516 I read you should never date someone if you can think of three reasons not to. 685 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:28,398 - Can you think of three? - Yes. 686 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,269 - Which are? - Well, first off, I embarrass you. 687 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,591 I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin. 688 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,309 My legs only come up to here and yes, I will always be a little bit fat. 689 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,916 And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed. 690 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,390 - Now, hang on, that can't be a reason. - No, it's not a reason. 691 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,551 But you're not perfect either. 692 00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:51,359 You look down your nose at absolutely everyone, 693 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:56,036 and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate. 694 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,431 It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room 695 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,068 who's, who's so fantastic... 696 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,751 just the way she is, 697 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,480 that you don't need to fix her. 698 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,153 Bridget, this is mad. 699 00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,675 Perhaps you've already found her. 700 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,395 Do you want to marry me? 701 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,431 Look, I... 702 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,438 You see, you can never muster the strength... 703 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,870 to fight for me. 704 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,710 [Bridget] I can't believe I did that. 705 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:30,470 # What do I gotta do to make you love me? 706 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:37,238 # What do I gotta do to make you care? 707 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,118 [Dog barks] 708 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:44,989 # What do I gotta do when lightning strikes me 709 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,593 # Hmm 710 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,399 # And I wake to find that you're not there? 711 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,156 # What do I gotta do to make you want me? 712 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:00,868 # Hmm 713 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:06,032 # What do I gotta do to be heard? 714 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,111 [Siren] 715 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:14,153 # And what do I say when it's all over, babe? 716 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,753 # Oooh-ooh 717 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:20,118 # And sorry seems to be the hardest word 718 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,635 # It's sad So sad 719 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,190 # Why can't we talk it over, babe? 720 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,794 # Always seems to me 721 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:37,591 # When sorry seems to be 722 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:42,558 # The hardest word # 723 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,150 [Bridget] Five weeks later. 724 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,073 Weight: 4,000 pounds. 725 00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:55,279 Am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. 726 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,637 The first is called Ben, the other, Jerry. 727 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,951 Number of current boyfriends: Zero. 728 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,350 Number of calls from ex-boyfriend: 729 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,717 [Electronic voice] You have absolutely no messages. 730 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:11,395 Not a single one. Not even from your mother. 731 00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,036 [Telephone] 732 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,349 - Hello? - Hello, darling. 733 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,229 - You haven't forgotten our lunch date? - [Bridget] Of course I have. 734 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,358 - I'm suicidally depressed. - Don't be silly, Bridget. 735 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,875 Meet me at Debenhams at twelve o'clock. 736 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,958 Mum... I thought we were going to have something to eat. 737 00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,749 [Mum] Patience, please. I've got a big surprise for you, darling. 738 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,358 - What? - Don't say "what", say "pardon". 739 00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:43,912 [Shrill] Tra-la! 740 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,992 - What do you think? - Oh, my God. 741 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,116 Daddy and I are getting married. 742 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,953 - You're already married. - We're doing it again. 743 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,317 Reaffirming our vows. You are going to be a bridesmaid, 744 00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,233 and absolutely everything is going to be lavender. 745 00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,834 And when I say everything, I mean... 746 00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:02,839 ...everything. 747 00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,839 [Laughs] 748 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,150 Oh, God, I'm never going to get married 749 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,788 and my sodding mum and dad are doing it twice. 750 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,748 # No more candlelight No more romance 751 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,276 - # No more small talk... - [Bridget] Bloody know-it-all. 752 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,834 New York: The Big, Juicy Apple. 753 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,788 The city that never sleeps with the same person two nights running. 754 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:31,033 My favourite place in America, where Sex And The City isn't just a programme, 755 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,077 it's a promise. 756 00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:36,039 [Bell] 757 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,870 - [Phone rings] - [Man] Morning, Rach. 758 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:40,758 Sorry. 759 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,515 Oh, cheer up, misery guts. I have good news for you. 760 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,591 [Chuckles] Sure, right. 761 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,718 What's the angle? I interview some rocket scientist 762 00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,713 while he looks through my skirt with X-ray glasses? 763 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,313 No. 764 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:56,831 Although that is a bloody good idea. 765 00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,319 No. The fact is The Smooth Guide is doing very well with women, 766 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,792 but the network want us to cast a wider net and use a Smooth Guide-ess. 767 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:09,032 Me? With Daniel Cleaver? 768 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,909 It's the next logical step. I think Thailand is first on the list. 769 00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,640 No. I won't do it. 770 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,473 Not now. Not in a million years from now. 771 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,279 - Excuse me? - I am a top television journalist, 772 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,590 not some boorish bint in a bikini. 773 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:28,117 Really? Strong words from somebody who doesn't know where Germany is. 774 00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,475 - [Sniggering] - Who told you that? 775 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,030 Cleaver. He said he couldn't be expected to go out with someone 776 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:39,070 who thought Iran was David Bowie's wife, and who didn't know where Germany was. 777 00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:46,109 Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity, 778 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,874 that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job. 779 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,554 Come on, Jones, there must have been something you liked about me. 780 00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:55,792 Well... you have a nice car. 781 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,832 And quite nice manners. Outside the bedroom. 782 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,956 But that's about it. 783 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,994 And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. 784 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,470 The question is do you know the location of your arsehole? 785 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:17,155 As a matter of fact, I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers. 786 00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,114 Oh, come on, Jones, it was just a silly joke. 787 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:22,759 Not a very funny one. 788 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,273 - Go on, then. - What? 789 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,351 Where is it? Where is Germany? 790 00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,193 - Next to France. - And? 791 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,590 And also Belgium... 792 00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,274 Poland. And it has a sea coast. 793 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,309 Which sea? 794 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,031 Oh, sod it. Now, look, 795 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,839 I think we should talk about Finch's suggestion. 796 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,991 I am going to Thailand, Jones. 797 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,674 Wouldn't you like to be my little Girl Guide? 798 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:54,870 Thailand? 799 00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,589 - You'll shag before you leave Heathrow. - I'll be perfectly fine. 800 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,751 I'm eschewing all men. 801 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,039 And cigarettes. And carbohydrates. 802 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,953 - We can't possibly let you go. - On your own. 803 00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,031 Oh, stop it, all of you. 804 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,919 I am a mature, sophisticated, professional woman 805 00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:16,631 and I'm going to Thailand entirely on my own, thank you very much. 806 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,199 - [Shazzer] Fuck! - Sorry. 807 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,351 - Fuckity fuck. - Sorry. 808 00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:24,911 [Pilot] And now our final passengers have joined us, we can get underway. 809 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,071 Someone's gotta be last. 810 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,232 - [Crunching] - [Bridget] Are we not sitting together? 811 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,311 Oh, fuck. 812 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,798 I don't think we're really in a position to, um... 813 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,988 ...make a fuss. Sorry. Hi. 814 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,795 - Sorry. - [Man chuckles] 815 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,592 [Woman] What's our film? 816 00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,675 What's your name? Mine's Olive. 817 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,751 - Er, Bridget. - [Olive chuckles] 818 00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,798 [Pilot] Good afternoon again, ladies and gentlemen. 819 00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,758 We're about to offer a wide range of duty-free items. 820 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,514 Details can be found in your in-flight magazine. 821 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,398 [Baby cries] 822 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,039 Wonderful people, the Thais. Particularly the young ladies. 823 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,111 If you know what I mean, eh? 824 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,874 - Oh, for heaven's sake. - Come with me. 825 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,156 Come with me now. 826 00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,754 - Where are we going? - Just through here. 827 00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:24,956 Thank you. This is worse than school. 828 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,156 It really wasn't my fault. 829 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,595 It's a fizzy drink, you know, it just... 830 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,876 It just sort of fizzied over. 831 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,476 Couldn’t bear to think of you back there in slum class, Jones. 832 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,599 Graham, thank you. You are the best air steward I've ever come across. 833 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,751 And if I may say so, the smartest. 834 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,319 Thank you, sir. 835 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,753 I thought you were there already, doing research. 836 00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:51,797 Fuck, no. I make it up as I go along. 837 00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:55,509 It's 13 hours for this trip. I need some in-flight entertainment. 838 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,195 Why don't you tell me, in detail, about your school netball tour, 839 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,716 particularly the unsavoury incident in the communal showers. 840 00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,838 I didn't play netball. Or go to a girls' school. 841 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,470 - Or have showers. - Now that's just not true, is it? 842 00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,551 - Let me start you off. - No. 843 00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:15,269 If you're gonna be dull, I'm going to plunge back into Mrs Dalloway, 844 00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,512 and you know how she loves that. Dirty, dirty bitch. 845 00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,515 - [Elephant trumpets] - # Here's a new thing 846 00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:43,272 # That's gonna please ya 847 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,829 # Just a little town down in Indonesia 848 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:47,075 # Bangkok... 849 00:54:47,240 --> 00:54:49,959 [Bridget] Arrived Bangkok. Very hot. 850 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:53,954 Relieved at last to throw myself into serious journalistic work. 851 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:59,913 Thailand has long called travellers from around the globe 852 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,595 to take spiritual succour and karmic rest. 853 00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:08,675 For centuries, Western visitors have been inevitably drawn 854 00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:12,071 to some of Bangkok's oldest sanctuaries. 855 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:15,676 So true, Bridget. Even I, fight it as I may, am no exception. 856 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:19,799 The moment I arrive here, I almost feel an irresistible pull... 857 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,555 ...to this. The Temple of Tranquillity. 858 00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:29,075 Indeed, nothing symbolises Thailand's extraordinary fusion of East and West, 859 00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:32,516 of tradition and innovation, better than this. 860 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,830 Fully body-to-body massage. 861 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,309 - Sawatdee kha? - Sawatdee khrab? 862 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:41,712 An incredible thing about Thailand is the amazing traditional cuisine. 863 00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:45,759 I'm going to taste kapaluk, the ultimate delicacy. 864 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,790 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! 865 00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:51,871 Oh, my God. My God. 866 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,474 Um... Er... Mmm. 867 00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,029 How about a lovely locust? 868 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,270 I can't. No, no, I can't. 869 00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,396 - They're delicious. - [Crunching] 870 00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:04,993 Oh! 871 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:12,789 [Daniel] Now that is Ko Panyi, which is the setting for a very famous Thai poem, 872 00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,190 which I think you'd like very much, Jones. 873 00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:19,399 It's all about a badly-behaved prince who finds true love with a beautiful, 874 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:22,632 and as it happens, very slightly overweight princess. 875 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,796 - You're teasing me. - I never tease about poetry. 876 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:31,229 "Oh, Suvarnamali Why can you not see that I adore you?" 877 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,709 "Why do you avoid and scorn me?" 878 00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:35,791 "If you cast me off and leave me 879 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,076 How should I live another day?" 880 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:45,078 And you thought all I knew of Thailand was pussies and ping-pong balls. 881 00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:48,152 - You wouldn't sleep with him? - No, of course not. 882 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,595 Absolutely not. 883 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,751 But he is clever. 884 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:54,399 - Yes? - And handsome. 885 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,950 He's also a dysfunctional, fucked-up, middle-aged, lost boy. 886 00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,031 Well, no-one's perfect. 887 00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:01,758 [Birdsong] 888 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,075 I didn't realise you were busy. 889 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:14,389 - He's young enough to be your grandson. - I know. Isn't that great? 890 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,556 - [Man yells] - [Ladies shriek] 891 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:21,554 Come on, guys, I've got a very special treat lined up for lunch. 892 00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,995 [Bridget] I'm getting rather fond of Jed, 893 00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:27,391 and I must say he has a genuine interest in Thai cuisine. 894 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:31,314 [Bridget] I wouldn't have thought omelette would be big in Thailand. 895 00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,950 - Or mushrooms, for that matter. - [Jed] It's magic. 896 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,598 It is a magic mushroom omelette, isn't it? 897 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:45,551 Well, that's awful. There is nothing funny in this at all. 898 00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,551 Although, thank God, 899 00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,958 the mushrooms don't actually seem to be working. 900 00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,597 [# Primal Scream: Loaded] 901 00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,596 # Just what is it that you want to do? 902 00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:05,799 Such lovely colours! [gasps] 903 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,838 # We wanna get loaded And we wanna have a good time... 904 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:13,551 Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget! 905 00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:17,951 Bridget Jones! 906 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:23,029 [Daniel's voice, distorted] Bridget Jones! 907 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,838 But, wait... 908 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,197 - [Daniel, distorted] Bridget Jones? - What sound is that? 909 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,672 It is Daniel Cleaver. [echoes] 910 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:40,594 [Thinks] How unutterably beautiful he is. 911 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,429 Jones, what the hell are you doing? 912 00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,559 [Bridget] You are lovely colours. 913 00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,119 - # I don't wanna lose your love... - Here. 914 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,271 Here I am. 915 00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:59,469 I think you're completely off your face. 916 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,597 - Hey. - [Bridget groans] 917 00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,672 - Bloody hell. - [Bridget groans and sighs] 918 00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,112 Oh... Oh, I'm an angel. 919 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,793 Oh. How lovely. 920 00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,235 Glorious sand. 921 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,118 Oh. 922 00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,396 I want to be naked. 923 00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:24,158 - Naked as a baby. - Come on, then, angel. Up you get. 924 00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,231 [Daniel strains] 925 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,191 - All right? - Mmm. 926 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,596 - [Daniel] How are you feeling? - Completely embarrassed. 927 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,991 Don't be. You're charming on drugs. In future, just say yes. 928 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:42,749 Do you know, I never really understood why you wanted to go out with me. 929 00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,433 - It seemed so unlikely. - Come on. For God's sake. 930 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,433 You're sexy. You make me laugh. 931 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,909 At you, of course, not with you. 932 00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:54,516 And you were... 933 00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:56,398 ...incidentally... 934 00:59:58,040 --> 00:59:59,758 ...the best shag... 935 00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:01,478 ...I ever had. 936 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,153 The best? 937 01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,517 Aside from Simon Reade in the fifth-form locker room, yeah. 938 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,914 Suppose I said you were pretty good too? 939 01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:13,911 Pretty good? 940 01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:17,235 Was I better than Mark Darcy? 941 01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:22,552 By the way, is it true he always says "I'm sorry, I think I'm going to come"? 942 01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:25,598 - Who told you that? - It's common knowledge, isn't it? 943 01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,519 Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof? 944 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,716 And why? 945 01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:34,796 Let's just say 946 01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:38,111 that we suffered from a fatal incompatibility. 947 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,796 I have missed you, Jones. 948 01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:46,599 I don't suppose there's any circumstances 949 01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,035 in which you would ever consider 950 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,873 thinking about trusting me again? 951 01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:56,351 Absolutely not. 952 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:06,070 Well, I suppose I'll be getting back to my little hut now. 953 01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:10,236 Thank you very much, Daniel. I had a nice time. 954 01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:25,598 Is that the Big Dipper or the little one? 955 01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,876 I can never tell them apart. 956 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:29,712 Definitely the big one. 957 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:32,792 You can't see the little one this close to the equator. 958 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:36,475 Oh, please. You don't know about astronomy. 959 01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:39,074 I most certainly do. I'm passionate about it. 960 01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:45,069 You know, Jones, if stargazing is something that interests you, 961 01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:49,153 then it has to be said that the view from my balcony is quite outstanding. 962 01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:53,273 Perhaps you'd like to come up and have a little look? 963 01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,237 I don't think so. 964 01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:58,437 See over there? Along my arm. 965 01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,556 That's it, over there. 966 01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:03,750 That is Orion's Belt. 967 01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:08,994 And next to that is a very sexy little constellation called Ursa's Maiden. 968 01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:10,149 Ah. 969 01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:13,551 She's being very naughty and trying to undo Orion's belt. 970 01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:18,433 All right, what about... that one? 971 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,392 Yes, well that is a very, very famous star. 972 01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:24,835 Um, right next to, of course, um... 973 01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,149 [chirruping] 974 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:31,192 I don't know, some other fucking star that's been there for years and years. 975 01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:34,557 Seen one star, you've seen the lot, that's what I say, Jones. 976 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,155 Different with girls, though. 977 01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,071 Some girls... 978 01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:46,151 ...are special. 979 01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,356 Are they? 980 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,111 I think so. 981 01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,589 [# 10cc: I'm Not In Love] 982 01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,592 What is this special power you hold over me, Jones? 983 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,836 And what about your therapy? 984 01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:19,551 I think you might be it. 985 01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:21,756 # I'm not in love 986 01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:24,951 # So don't forget it 987 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,550 # It's just a silly phase 988 01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,631 # I'm going through 989 01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,116 # And just because 990 01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:38,631 # I call you up 991 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:41,752 # Don't get me wrong 992 01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:44,753 # Don't think you've got it made 993 01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:48,791 # I'm not in love... 994 01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,199 God, I hope you're wearing those giant panties. 995 01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:53,475 Please. 996 01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:56,473 [Smooching] Please be wearing the giant panties. 997 01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,631 Please. [gasps] 998 01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:00,791 Oh, my old friends. 999 01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,599 Oh, Daddy's home. 1000 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:07,435 Did you miss me? Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did. 1001 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:09,713 Wait. 1002 01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,553 Sorry. 1003 01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,790 Can I just have a minute? 1004 01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:17,871 Just a minute. 1005 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:27,629 [Thinks] Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 1006 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:31,395 # Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry 1007 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:35,316 # Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry... 1008 01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:47,037 [sighs] 1009 01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,635 - Everything all right? - Yeah, sure. 1010 01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:54,676 Just a bit... nervous. [chuckles] 1011 01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:58,519 I mean, you see, if I stay with you tonight, 1012 01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,639 well, it's definitely the end of something... 1013 01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,916 important with someone. 1014 01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:07,719 Um, which has probably ended already, 1015 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,713 - but perhaps... - Bridge, Bridge Bridge, Bridge. 1016 01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,189 Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? 1017 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:16,473 Hmm? 1018 01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:24,632 Except Hitler. 1019 01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:29,391 Well, he was very, very, very naughty. 1020 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,633 [Knocking] 1021 01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:36,679 What? 1022 01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,230 Nothing. Er, come back later, please. Thank you very much. 1023 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:42,958 [Knocking] 1024 01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,475 Bridge, it's nothing. Leave it. Leave it. 1025 01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,548 You made order for 10.30. 1026 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:54,436 Order for what? 1027 01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:56,793 Me. 1028 01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,632 10.30. 1029 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,200 You know, I've had it up to here with this hotel. 1030 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:08,035 - It's been cock-ups like this all week. - [Thai girl] You Mr Cleaver? 1031 01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:12,512 Yesterday, you with Maria. She say you big tipper. 1032 01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:22,837 [Mumbles] 1033 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,468 I mean, I'm up for it if you are. 1034 01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:29,916 Actually, no, that was stupid. It's just one little slip. 1035 01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:33,595 Don't let it ruin what was gonna be a fantastic weekend shagathon. 1036 01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:36,832 - I don't want a shagathon. - No, nor do I. Nor do I. 1037 01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,992 - You're right. - You're looking for a weekend of sex, 1038 01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:43,232 - I'm looking... - For more. I feel I can change. 1039 01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,789 - I absolutely can change. - I need to change. 1040 01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,076 I can't believe I fell for it again. 1041 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:50,913 Daniel, I really do think 1042 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:53,753 that you should go and fuck yourself. 1043 01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,629 Or her. But definitely not me. 1044 01:06:57,800 --> 01:06:59,279 - # Think - # Think 1045 01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:01,749 # Think about what you're trying to do to me 1046 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,433 - # Think - # Think think 1047 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:04,749 # Let your mind go... 1048 01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:07,480 I can't believe he made up the sex therapy thing. 1049 01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,995 Doesn't matter. I finally learnt my lesson, 1050 01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,833 and it's an excellent lesson to have nailed. 1051 01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:14,993 - Fuck! - What? 1052 01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:17,435 No fucking room in the fucking suitcase. 1053 01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,909 There's room in mine. Give me something. 1054 01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:21,798 Great. 1055 01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:25,270 - What the hell is this? - It is a fertility-snake bowl. 1056 01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:27,749 - Ooh. - Jed gave it to me. 1057 01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:29,831 - # Think think - # Let your mind go... 1058 01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,353 How romantic. 1059 01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:32,635 # Freedom... 1060 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:36,839 The way I look at it, in everyone's life, there's a certain amount of shit. 1061 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,434 - That's true. - In the last year, 1062 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,989 things have turned out pretty shitty. 1063 01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:44,230 So logically, mathematically, even, 1064 01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:47,233 it's got to be time for something not shit. 1065 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:51,996 - [Shazzer] Like what? - Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca. 1066 01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,469 And he'll run to my door, 1067 01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:58,758 fall to his knees, possibly wearing a wet white shirt, 1068 01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:00,717 and beg me to come back. 1069 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:02,074 - # Think - # Think 1070 01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:04,959 # Think about what you're tryin' to do to me... 1071 01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:10,433 Yes, I very confidently expect very, very good times ahead. 1072 01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:13,160 [PA] Final call for all passengers to London... 1073 01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,198 Isn't he cute? Hello. 1074 01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:18,193 Hello. Oh... 1075 01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:21,238 Seems to be getting a bit excited. [Laughs] 1076 01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,319 Oh. 1077 01:08:23,480 --> 01:08:24,879 Er... 1078 01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:29,277 - [Shazzer] Bridget! - It's just a misunderstanding. 1079 01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:31,078 Hold the plane. 1080 01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:32,992 Hold the plane. 1081 01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:35,196 [Shazzer] Excuse me! Excuse me! 1082 01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:39,990 [PA] All remaining passengers please report to Gate 27 immediately. 1083 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:47,553 [Thud] 1084 01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:49,631 It's not mine. 1085 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:52,155 - These yours? - Yes. 1086 01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:54,436 I mean, they're not my favourite pair. 1087 01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:57,678 [Siren] 1088 01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:04,279 [Brakes screech] 1089 01:09:06,440 --> 01:09:08,396 You can't do this. I'm English. 1090 01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,676 And an award-winning journalist. 1091 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:15,152 Well, maybe not award-winning, but I have been to lots of award ceremonies. 1092 01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:17,231 [Door rattles and clangs] 1093 01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:22,999 [Clang] 1094 01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,793 Hello. Bridget Jones. 1095 01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:31,350 Lovely to meet all of you. 1096 01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:35,835 [Bridget] Oh, my bloody God and fuck. 1097 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,468 I hope they've told the British ambassador. 1098 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:41,200 Surely Shazzer would have raised the alert. 1099 01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:43,510 Maybe they got Shazzer as well. 1100 01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:47,069 [Woman speaks Thai] 1101 01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:53,158 Oh, God, 28 hours. 1102 01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,877 How much longer? 1103 01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:58,759 [Man] Jones. Bridget Jones, you come now. 1104 01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:03,189 [Clang] 1105 01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:10,517 Charlie Parker-Knowles, Assistant Consul. 1106 01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:12,830 Thank God you're here. 1107 01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,272 Um, shall we... 1108 01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:19,432 I really had absolutely nothing to do with it. 1109 01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:21,511 Jed planned the whole thing. 1110 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:24,638 That's why he snogged Shazzer, who's much older than him 1111 01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:26,711 and slightly past her peak. 1112 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:29,314 Yes, he sounds the most frightful shit. 1113 01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:30,708 Mmm. 1114 01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:35,192 The bore is everyone who gets caught has exactly the same story, 1115 01:10:35,360 --> 01:10:39,956 so unless we find this, this Jed fellow and get a full confession, 1116 01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:42,156 you're on a bit of a sticky wicket. 1117 01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,591 Well, how sticky? 1118 01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:46,990 Something like 15 to 20 years. 1119 01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:50,596 - [Whispers] 15 years? - Or maybe ten if we're lucky. 1120 01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,671 Ten years! 1121 01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,115 In here? 1122 01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:09,236 [Bridget] Very black. 1123 01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:13,393 All my life I've had the feeling something terrible was about to happen. 1124 01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:16,276 Now it has. 1125 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,271 Bijjit, right? 1126 01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:22,317 Bridget, actually. 1127 01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,232 My name Phrao. 1128 01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:26,311 You're my friend? 1129 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,311 - Steady on! - Superbra! 1130 01:11:34,480 --> 01:11:37,552 You lend me. One day, two cigarette. 1131 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:40,237 Oh. [laughs] 1132 01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:42,550 Well, I'll think about it. 1133 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,590 Actually, I was thinking of giving up, 1134 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:49,070 but that was before I was arrested and thrown into a Thai prison 1135 01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:51,754 for ten to 15 years. [laughs] 1136 01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:54,470 Circumstances change. 1137 01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:59,511 No, it really, really is "touched". 1138 01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:04,517 "Like a vir-gin, touched for the very first time". 1139 01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:06,159 - No, you wrong. - No. 1140 01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:08,197 # Like a wersion 1141 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,113 - Vir-gin. - # Fucked for the very first time 1142 01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:14,829 - Touched. - # Like a wersion 1143 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,070 [Bridget] Ten years of this? I 1144 01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:19,959 Stop! Enough. Enough. 1145 01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:23,749 If you're going to do it, you really ought to do it properly. 1146 01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:29,559 After all, Madonna is nothing if not a perfectionist. 1147 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,995 Five, six, seven, eight and one... 1148 01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:34,355 # Like a virgin 1149 01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:39,114 # Touched for the very first time 1150 01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:43,189 # Like a virgin 1151 01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,874 # When your heart beats 1152 01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:48,759 # Next to mine... 1153 01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:50,433 [cheering] 1154 01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:54,916 [Bridget] Dear Mum and Dad, 1155 01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:56,991 I'm missing you a lot. 1156 01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,469 Please write as soon as you can. 1157 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,110 I'm feeling pretty low. 1158 01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:07,276 [Man] Bijjit Jone. 1159 01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:09,749 [Inmates shout] 1160 01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,074 In there. You have five minutes. 1161 01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:14,958 Just five. 1162 01:13:15,120 --> 01:13:17,031 [Door creaks and clangs] 1163 01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:24,193 Mark? 1164 01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,751 You all right? 1165 01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:33,354 Oh... [laughs] Fine. 1166 01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:35,158 Hmm. 1167 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,913 And... scared shitless. 1168 01:13:43,080 --> 01:13:45,036 But, you know, perky. 1169 01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:49,989 I can't believe you've come all this way. 1170 01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:53,391 I haven't. I was out here handling a Foreign Office case 1171 01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:55,471 when I heard about your situation. 1172 01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:58,029 I haven't done anything wrong. 1173 01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,714 I promise you, it's all a big mistake. 1174 01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:03,269 Yes, well, I'm sure it is. 1175 01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:06,477 I've got all the papers here and I'm sure we can sort it out. 1176 01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:10,952 I think about you all the time. And I'm so sorry, 1177 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:15,272 I really, really am, for everything that happened between us. 1178 01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:17,396 Yes, well... [clears throat] 1179 01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:21,235 We don't have much time and I need you to identify someone for me. 1180 01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:25,188 Is this the man with whom you were seen taking hallucinogenic mushrooms 1181 01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:27,920 before you spent the night with Daniel Cleaver? 1182 01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:30,719 Yes, that's him, but I think you should know... 1183 01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:33,917 The same man who gave you the snake containing the drugs? 1184 01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:36,389 Yes, that's him, that's Jed. 1185 01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:38,551 But it was Shazzer's snake, not mine, 1186 01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:40,915 and as far as Daniel Cleaver goes... 1187 01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:44,072 Your sex life doesn't concern me at all. 1188 01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,354 Has there been any ill treatment here? 1189 01:14:57,920 --> 01:15:01,390 No, no. Well, I mean... 1190 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:04,719 ...the toilet facilities are well below par, but... 1191 01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:06,791 Good, that makes things simpler. 1192 01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:13,272 Listen, they're prepared to drop all charges against you 1193 01:15:13,440 --> 01:15:16,796 which is extremely lenient, given the circumstances. 1194 01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:19,394 You're going to be out within a week. 1195 01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:24,553 And... 1196 01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:29,673 [zip] 1197 01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:33,632 Goodbye. 1198 01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:39,439 Mark? 1199 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,192 [Clang] 1200 01:15:49,560 --> 01:15:51,357 Thank you. 1201 01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:55,794 You're welcome. I'm just the messenger. The order came from above. 1202 01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:00,479 Well, good luck. Glad I could be of help. 1203 01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:24,196 So, Bijjit, what happen? 1204 01:16:24,360 --> 01:16:26,396 Well, um... 1205 01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:29,555 Bijjit! How this can happen? 1206 01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:32,712 This is terrible! You are innocent! 1207 01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:36,429 - They're always cheating us. - No, no, no. That's all fine. 1208 01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:39,910 They've dropped the charges and they're letting me go. 1209 01:16:40,080 --> 01:16:41,957 But that good news. 1210 01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:44,111 What is wrong? 1211 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,873 Mark Darcy definitely... 1212 01:16:48,040 --> 01:16:50,508 ...doesn't love me anymore. 1213 01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:52,432 [All] Ohhh. 1214 01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,719 You see the trouble is it was me who chucked him. 1215 01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:57,916 [Phrao] He treat you bad? 1216 01:16:58,080 --> 01:16:59,991 Yeah, actually, he did. 1217 01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,390 My boyfriend treat me bad too. 1218 01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:04,118 - Me too. - [Girl] Mine as well. 1219 01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:05,633 [Girl] Me too. 1220 01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:09,156 Then you know all about it. You think you've found the right man, 1221 01:17:09,320 --> 01:17:11,629 but then there's so much wrong with him 1222 01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:15,873 and he finds there's so much wrong with you and it all just falls apart. 1223 01:17:16,040 --> 01:17:18,349 Don't tell me. My boyfriend, 1224 01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:20,431 he seem really nice. 1225 01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:24,513 Then he start to hit me. Make me work on street. 1226 01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:26,989 My boyfriend, he say he love me. 1227 01:17:27,160 --> 01:17:30,789 But he do no work, and make me work 24 hour a day. 1228 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:33,030 Then he make me take heroin drug. 1229 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:36,715 What about you, Bijjit? What your bad boyfriend do? 1230 01:17:38,120 --> 01:17:40,076 Well, er... 1231 01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:44,555 ...he really didn't stick up for me at this lawyers' supper... 1232 01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:49,077 and, um, then he would fold his... [chuckles] 1233 01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,633 Oh, same sort of thing, really. 1234 01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:58,635 Hitting me and making me take drugs. Stealing all my money and stuff. 1235 01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:03,432 [Bridget] Oh, God. I've been the world's biggest fool. 1236 01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:06,036 [Gate slams] 1237 01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:10,952 Bijjit? 1238 01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:14,678 Just a few tiny leaving presents. No luxuries. 1239 01:18:16,640 --> 01:18:18,153 [All gasp] 1240 01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:20,675 # [Madonna] Living in a material world 1241 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:23,035 # And I am a material girl 1242 01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:27,398 # You know that we are living in a material world 1243 01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:29,915 # And I am a material girl 1244 01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:34,197 # Living in a material world 1245 01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:37,238 # And I am a material girl # 1246 01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:40,755 If you want something smooth on your wall, 1247 01:18:40,920 --> 01:18:42,831 you could do worse than John Currin. 1248 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:46,037 He is about the only contemporary painter who can paint. 1249 01:18:46,200 --> 01:18:49,351 There's usually something interesting and allegorical, 1250 01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:52,398 plus of course, there is a very high perv quotient. 1251 01:18:52,560 --> 01:18:54,869 - [Mark] Did you see her? - Out. Out it. 1252 01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:57,349 Sorry, everyone, sorry. It's my stalker. 1253 01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:00,949 Fuck off, Darcy, some people have jobs to do. 1254 01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:05,309 Did you see her surrounded by police, dogs, handcuffs? 1255 01:19:05,480 --> 01:19:08,836 Come on, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself. 1256 01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:12,276 I'm only going to ask you one more time. Did you see her? 1257 01:19:12,440 --> 01:19:14,749 You're only gonna ask me one more time? 1258 01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:18,396 - You haven't got your wig on now, dear. - I'll take that as a yes. 1259 01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:20,710 Yes, I did see her. 1260 01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:24,190 I thought she was smuggling seashells, or mangoes. 1261 01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:25,679 Right. 1262 01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,992 Right, good. Will you step outside, please? 1263 01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:32,310 Oh, no, it's not possible. 1264 01:19:32,480 --> 01:19:35,870 Darcy, do you have any idea what century we actually live in? 1265 01:19:36,040 --> 01:19:39,316 Are you gonna step outside or am I gonna have to drag you? 1266 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:41,675 I think you're gonna have to drag me. 1267 01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:43,876 [Birds cry] 1268 01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:46,759 [# The Darkness: I Believe In A Thing Called Love] 1269 01:19:46,920 --> 01:19:50,310 - [Daniel] You're insane! - And you're a disgrace, Cleaver. 1270 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,036 [Daniel] You're pulling my hair! 1271 01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:56,272 I'm not going in the sodding water. 1272 01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:03,559 # Touching you 'Cause you're touching me 1273 01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:07,432 # I believe in a thing called love 1274 01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:09,477 # Just listen to the rhythm of my heart 1275 01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:11,073 # There's a chance we can make it now 1276 01:20:11,240 --> 01:20:13,071 # We'll be rockin' till the sun goes down 1277 01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:16,357 # I believe in a thing called love 1278 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,954 # Oooh-ooh ooh... 1279 01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:21,634 - Fuck off! - No, you're going in, Cleaver! 1280 01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:24,473 If I'm going in, you're coming with me. 1281 01:20:24,640 --> 01:20:26,437 You smug bastard. 1282 01:20:26,600 --> 01:20:28,431 [Clamouring] 1283 01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:30,750 - [Daniel] Oh, my God. - Get up. 1284 01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:32,831 [Child laughs] 1285 01:20:34,360 --> 01:20:36,271 Well, what are you gonna do now? 1286 01:20:36,440 --> 01:20:38,749 Drown me in 16 inches of water? 1287 01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:40,638 Yes, good idea. 1288 01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:48,478 Fuck! Stop, stop. 1289 01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:50,631 Listen, listen, listen... 1290 01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:54,952 OK, I left her at the airport. I shouldn't have done that. 1291 01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:57,990 But she bumped into Jed herself 1292 01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,879 and I didn't fucking well seduce her, all right? 1293 01:21:02,040 --> 01:21:04,634 - You didn't? - There's something wrong with her. 1294 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:06,552 She's gone all frigid. 1295 01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,995 I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl. 1296 01:21:09,160 --> 01:21:11,879 Who in fact turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy. 1297 01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:13,959 Satisfied? 1298 01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:18,152 Yes. 1299 01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:19,833 Thank you. 1300 01:21:24,320 --> 01:21:26,231 You know what, mate? 1301 01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:30,833 If you're so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her? 1302 01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:34,829 'Cause then she'd definitely shag me. 1303 01:21:36,560 --> 01:21:38,118 # I believe in a thing called love 1304 01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:39,952 # Just listen to the rhythm of my heart 1305 01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:43,351 # I believe in a thing called love # 1306 01:21:44,440 --> 01:21:47,113 - [man] Bridget! - [Second man] Bridget! Over here! 1307 01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:48,349 [Reporters shout] 1308 01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:50,795 - What was it like? - How did you survive? 1309 01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:55,158 Any girl who's been single in London knows how to handle herself. 1310 01:21:55,320 --> 01:21:57,834 - Darling! - [Man] Will you be going back? 1311 01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:00,594 Sorry I didn't write. I've just been so busy. 1312 01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:03,593 Hello, darling. You look lovely. 1313 01:22:03,760 --> 01:22:06,433 - Skinny, but lovely. - Oh, thank you. 1314 01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:09,592 - [Reporters shout] - Oh, it's good to be home. 1315 01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:12,069 - [Mr Jones] Ciggy? - No, no, thanks. 1316 01:22:12,240 --> 01:22:15,312 - I've given up again. - Shame. I find them very useful. 1317 01:22:15,480 --> 01:22:19,519 I take great comfort in the fact they might kill me before things get worse. 1318 01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:30,672 The Darcys rang to say how pleased they were you were out. 1319 01:22:31,480 --> 01:22:34,199 I rather thought Mark might be here to meet you. 1320 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:36,749 Yes, but you must remember we split up. 1321 01:22:36,920 --> 01:22:39,115 So no hope there? 1322 01:22:39,280 --> 01:22:41,191 No hope there. 1323 01:22:41,360 --> 01:22:46,195 Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum. 1324 01:22:46,360 --> 01:22:48,476 - Language, darling. - Sorry. 1325 01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:52,996 Next time, I will not fuck it up... 1326 01:22:53,600 --> 01:22:55,830 ...Mother. - [Mr Jones laughs] 1327 01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:58,151 [# Robbie Williams: Misunderstood] 1328 01:22:58,320 --> 01:23:00,436 # Trying to be misunderstood 1329 01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:08,275 # But it doesn't do me any good 1330 01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:16,115 # Love the way they smiled at me 1331 01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:19,670 # Hold that face for eternity 1332 01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:24,274 # Now let them all fly off 1333 01:23:27,280 --> 01:23:30,272 # When it comes down 1334 01:23:30,800 --> 01:23:34,395 # It all comes down 1335 01:23:35,680 --> 01:23:39,309 # And you will not be found 1336 01:23:42,560 --> 01:23:45,552 # When it's over 1337 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:49,192 # It's all over 1338 01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:54,271 # Even if I make a sound... 1339 01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:02,752 Surprise! 1340 01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:04,751 - Hello. - Hello. 1341 01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:06,831 - [Tom] Oh, darling. - Hiya. 1342 01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:08,953 Bridget... 1343 01:24:09,120 --> 01:24:10,997 I'm so sorry. 1344 01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:14,636 It's all right. 1345 01:24:18,040 --> 01:24:21,828 Well, thank God for Mark Darcy. I mean, he might be a boring arse, 1346 01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:24,036 but he performed a miracle. 1347 01:24:25,280 --> 01:24:27,669 That's a bit of an overstatement. 1348 01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:30,914 He actually seems to be the villain of this piece. 1349 01:24:31,520 --> 01:24:36,150 He's a top human rights lawyer and he left it to someone else to get me out. 1350 01:24:36,320 --> 01:24:38,356 He was just a messenger. 1351 01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:42,039 - [Tom] Who told you that? - He did. 1352 01:24:42,200 --> 01:24:44,191 Straight from the horse's mouth. 1353 01:24:45,040 --> 01:24:47,679 The horse wasn't quite telling you the truth. 1354 01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:50,149 I called Mark the minute I landed in London. 1355 01:24:50,320 --> 01:24:52,675 We went to his office and within half an hour, 1356 01:24:52,840 --> 01:24:55,718 he'd woken two Cabinet ministers and half of Ml5. 1357 01:24:55,880 --> 01:24:59,793 But none of them could locate Jed, so Mark flew over to Interpol. 1358 01:24:59,960 --> 01:25:02,235 Which is in Lyon. They located Jed in Dubai, 1359 01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,914 but they don't normally extradite people, 1360 01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:08,311 so Mark rang the Home Secretary who rang our ambassador... 1361 01:25:08,480 --> 01:25:11,631 In Riyadh. Then Mark flew to Dubai where he identified Jed, 1362 01:25:11,800 --> 01:25:14,075 who was impounded and pushed out into... 1363 01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:17,118 Saudi Arabia, where Mark was waiting with the police. 1364 01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:21,512 Jed was arrested and extradited back to Britain. Then Mark flew to Bangkok, 1365 01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,672 to make damn sure they'd let you go. 1366 01:25:25,560 --> 01:25:27,118 Oh. 1367 01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:33,839 He was just angry about Daniel Cleaver. 1368 01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:39,318 - He must still love me. - He fucking must. 1369 01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:41,598 Taxi? 1370 01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:43,034 Yes, please. 1371 01:25:44,760 --> 01:25:46,830 [All shriek] 1372 01:25:47,000 --> 01:25:49,116 Get in the cab! 1373 01:25:49,280 --> 01:25:51,236 [All shout] 1374 01:25:52,640 --> 01:25:54,232 Hurry! 1375 01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:21,155 Oh. I forgot about you. 1376 01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:25,078 Er, I, I, I just wanted to, um... 1377 01:26:25,240 --> 01:26:27,276 say something to Mark. 1378 01:26:27,440 --> 01:26:29,715 He's at the office. Do you want to come in? 1379 01:26:30,960 --> 01:26:34,191 Oh, no. No, no, I don't think I will. 1380 01:26:35,480 --> 01:26:38,756 I really hope that you'll be happy together. 1381 01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:40,956 - Sorry? - You and Mark. 1382 01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:44,908 I really hope that you'll be very happy together. 1383 01:26:45,080 --> 01:26:47,071 No, no, no, Bridget, listen... 1384 01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:49,549 you've got it completely wrong. 1385 01:26:49,720 --> 01:26:51,915 I'm not in love with him. 1386 01:26:52,080 --> 01:26:54,275 How could I be when I'm... 1387 01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:57,477 seriously heartbroken and smitten with someone else? 1388 01:26:58,760 --> 01:27:00,751 Someone else? 1389 01:27:00,920 --> 01:27:03,593 - You, Bridget. - Me? 1390 01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:07,670 Ever since I saw you here with your hair messed that night 1391 01:27:07,840 --> 01:27:10,673 and bits of garden stuck to you. You must have noticed. 1392 01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:14,958 I try to hide it, but every time I see you, I light up. 1393 01:27:17,040 --> 01:27:19,315 I thought you were just, you know... 1394 01:27:20,320 --> 01:27:21,469 ...lying. 1395 01:27:21,640 --> 01:27:23,710 Was every look I ever gave you a lie? 1396 01:27:23,880 --> 01:27:25,552 I've been looking forward to this. 1397 01:27:25,720 --> 01:27:27,950 Lovely to see you, Bridget. 1398 01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:47,310 - [Rebecca sighs] - Thank you very much. 1399 01:27:48,760 --> 01:27:50,796 That was lovely. 1400 01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:53,832 Really lovely. 1401 01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,434 But I'm afraid it's still men in general, 1402 01:27:56,600 --> 01:28:00,275 and Mark Darcy in particular, that I love. 1403 01:28:00,680 --> 01:28:01,954 Right. 1404 01:28:03,840 --> 01:28:07,628 If, er, if I ever do decide to, um... 1405 01:28:08,120 --> 01:28:10,839 you know, bat for the other side... 1406 01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,469 ...well, there's no-one else. 1407 01:28:15,120 --> 01:28:16,439 Only you. 1408 01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:21,196 [# Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love] 1409 01:28:23,920 --> 01:28:26,559 - Hello, Giles. - Hello, Bridget. 1410 01:28:28,160 --> 01:28:30,196 # Open up your eyes 1411 01:28:30,360 --> 01:28:31,998 # Then you'll realise 1412 01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:33,798 # Here I stand with my 1413 01:28:33,960 --> 01:28:35,791 # Everlasting love 1414 01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:37,757 # Need you by my side 1415 01:28:37,920 --> 01:28:39,558 # Girl, to be my bride 1416 01:28:39,720 --> 01:28:41,312 # You'll never be denied... 1417 01:28:41,480 --> 01:28:43,948 Inns of Court, please. Fast as you can. 1418 01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:50,474 What do you think of this jacket? 1419 01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:53,154 - Yeah, very nice indeed. - No, be honest. 1420 01:28:53,320 --> 01:28:56,551 What do you think of the whole jacket/trouser combination? 1421 01:28:57,120 --> 01:29:00,954 - Disaster. - Actually, can we take a tiny detour? 1422 01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:04,559 I'll be back in literally two seconds. 1423 01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:08,236 # Where life really flows 1424 01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:09,879 # No-one really knows 1425 01:29:10,040 --> 01:29:11,553 # Till someone's there to show 1426 01:29:11,720 --> 01:29:13,392 # The way to lasting love 1427 01:29:13,560 --> 01:29:16,916 # Need a love to last forever 1428 01:29:17,360 --> 01:29:20,591 # Need a love to last forever... 1429 01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:28,112 Oh. 1430 01:29:32,480 --> 01:29:35,552 [# Barry White: You're My First, My Last, My Everything] 1431 01:29:39,240 --> 01:29:40,832 # You're the first 1432 01:29:41,000 --> 01:29:42,638 # The last 1433 01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,677 # My everything 1434 01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:48,356 # And the answer to 1435 01:29:49,080 --> 01:29:51,150 # All my dreams 1436 01:29:53,520 --> 01:29:55,033 # You're my sun 1437 01:29:55,200 --> 01:29:56,679 # My moon 1438 01:29:58,160 --> 01:29:59,912 # My guiding star 1439 01:30:01,480 --> 01:30:03,789 # My kind of wonderful 1440 01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:06,798 # That's what you are... 1441 01:30:08,160 --> 01:30:10,515 - You look gorgeous. - Thank you. 1442 01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:13,194 Very important at this moment. 1443 01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:16,996 # There's no way 1444 01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:19,709 - # They could have made two... - [shrieks] 1445 01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:23,070 Doesn't matter. It's not about looks. 1446 01:30:23,800 --> 01:30:25,472 [Shrieks] 1447 01:30:25,640 --> 01:30:29,030 - # Your love I'll keep for evermore - As I was saying. 1448 01:30:29,200 --> 01:30:30,519 # You're the first... 1449 01:30:31,160 --> 01:30:34,197 Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr Darcy. 1450 01:30:34,360 --> 01:30:37,477 Down there, right along the corridor, and just to the left. 1451 01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:39,358 Thank you very much. 1452 01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:42,398 [# Beyoncé: Crazy In Love] 1453 01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:51,274 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1454 01:30:51,440 --> 01:30:53,396 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1455 01:30:53,560 --> 01:30:55,676 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1456 01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,910 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... 1457 01:30:59,440 --> 01:31:02,193 I love you. I always have and I always will. 1458 01:31:05,080 --> 01:31:07,116 Oh, um... 1459 01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:10,477 I don't love you, and I never have, and... 1460 01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:13,474 ...I never will. Sorry. 1461 01:31:23,320 --> 01:31:25,038 Come in. 1462 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:32,396 Hello, Bridget. 1463 01:31:32,560 --> 01:31:34,471 Hello, Mark. 1464 01:31:35,000 --> 01:31:36,752 Er... 1465 01:31:37,440 --> 01:31:39,317 I'm sorry, I'm disturbing you. 1466 01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:44,193 - Well, yes, a bit. - I'll just... 1467 01:31:44,360 --> 01:31:46,476 sit outside while you finish. 1468 01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:50,838 No, no, no, please, say what you have to say, young lady. 1469 01:31:51,800 --> 01:31:54,997 Mr Santiago is the Peruvian Secretary for Trade. 1470 01:31:55,600 --> 01:31:57,795 And Mr Hernández is his number two. 1471 01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:00,796 Hello. [chuckles] 1472 01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:02,439 Hello. 1473 01:32:03,200 --> 01:32:05,236 Hello, hello, hello. [laughs] 1474 01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,750 How can we help you, young lady? 1475 01:32:12,840 --> 01:32:14,512 Well, er... 1476 01:32:15,600 --> 01:32:17,556 Er... [Bridget laughs] 1477 01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:20,359 I just wanted to tell Mr Darcy here 1478 01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:25,196 that I heard what magnificent work 1479 01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:28,238 he actually did releasing me from prison. 1480 01:32:28,400 --> 01:32:30,391 [Muttering] 1481 01:32:30,560 --> 01:32:36,317 Tiny, tiny misunderstanding to do with an enormous stash of cocaine. 1482 01:32:36,480 --> 01:32:39,040 And I also wanted to say, 1483 01:32:39,200 --> 01:32:43,239 since having found out that his girlfriend is actually a lesbian... 1484 01:32:43,400 --> 01:32:45,118 [man coughs] 1485 01:32:46,520 --> 01:32:48,192 ...that I love him. 1486 01:32:51,200 --> 01:32:54,192 Always have. Always will. 1487 01:32:55,560 --> 01:32:58,313 And that I'm... 1488 01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,833 ...you know... 1489 01:33:01,400 --> 01:33:03,356 ...available for dates... 1490 01:33:03,960 --> 01:33:06,474 ...if he should feel so inclined. 1491 01:33:10,880 --> 01:33:13,440 So, er, your girlfriend is a lesbian. 1492 01:33:14,680 --> 01:33:18,150 Look, if you'll all just excuse us for a second... 1493 01:33:18,760 --> 01:33:20,478 I think we should... 1494 01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:41,669 Bridget, that was not the most romantic proposition I've ever heard. 1495 01:33:42,640 --> 01:33:45,154 Well, maybe it is romantic 1496 01:33:45,320 --> 01:33:47,629 because it's not. I mean... 1497 01:33:47,800 --> 01:33:51,395 I know there's no music playing, and it's not snowing, 1498 01:33:52,320 --> 01:33:57,633 but that doesn't mean that it, that it can't really be something. 1499 01:33:59,800 --> 01:34:01,711 You're right. 1500 01:34:03,640 --> 01:34:06,598 In fact, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you. 1501 01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:09,877 All right. As long as it's not "Will you marry me?" 1502 01:34:16,320 --> 01:34:19,551 Oh, God. It is "Will you marry me?" 1503 01:34:19,720 --> 01:34:21,950 Well, I'm not gonna say it now. 1504 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:24,680 - Is it "Will you marry me?" - The moment's gone. 1505 01:34:24,840 --> 01:34:26,956 No. No, no, no. No, wait. 1506 01:34:27,720 --> 01:34:29,278 Wait. 1507 01:34:29,440 --> 01:34:30,759 - Bridget. - Start again. 1508 01:34:30,920 --> 01:34:32,876 - No. - Start again. 1509 01:34:33,040 --> 01:34:34,951 I'm not gonna... It's... 1510 01:34:35,120 --> 01:34:38,476 We've just stepped out into the corridor, 1511 01:34:38,640 --> 01:34:40,756 you say "I've got a question to ask you" 1512 01:34:40,920 --> 01:34:43,036 and I don't say anything. 1513 01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:50,750 And... And... 1514 01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:53,392 You say... 1515 01:35:01,240 --> 01:35:03,959 Bridget Jones, will you marry me? 1516 01:35:24,400 --> 01:35:28,075 [Vicar] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this day 1517 01:35:28,240 --> 01:35:30,800 to unite this couple. 1518 01:35:31,360 --> 01:35:34,318 Do you affirm your love, one to the other? 1519 01:35:35,320 --> 01:35:37,515 I do. Again. 1520 01:35:37,680 --> 01:35:39,477 And Colin? 1521 01:35:39,640 --> 01:35:41,471 I do. Again. 1522 01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:44,076 As well. Of course. 1523 01:35:45,120 --> 01:35:47,759 [# Marvin Gaye: Let's Get It On] 1524 01:35:47,920 --> 01:35:51,629 # I've been really tryin', baby... 1525 01:35:53,520 --> 01:35:57,308 [Bridget] December 31st, year-end summary. 1526 01:35:57,480 --> 01:35:59,516 Prison stays, one. 1527 01:35:59,680 --> 01:36:02,319 Lesbian kisses, one. 1528 01:36:02,480 --> 01:36:04,755 Pounds lost, minus one. 1529 01:36:04,920 --> 01:36:09,232 Boyfriends lost but then regained following major diplomatic incident, 1530 01:36:09,400 --> 01:36:11,391 one. 1531 01:36:11,560 --> 01:36:14,358 Marriage proposals, one. 1532 01:36:14,520 --> 01:36:16,909 An excellent year's progress. 1533 01:36:17,080 --> 01:36:21,870 Bridget Jones has cocked things up for the very last time. 1534 01:36:22,840 --> 01:36:24,512 [Shrieks] 1535 01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:29,430 # [Will Young] Your love is king 1536 01:36:30,400 --> 01:36:32,436 # Crown you in my heart 1537 01:36:32,600 --> 01:36:34,556 # Your love is king 1538 01:36:35,520 --> 01:36:37,192 # Never need to part 1539 01:36:37,360 --> 01:36:39,749 # Your kisses ring 1540 01:36:40,640 --> 01:36:43,200 # Round and round and round my head 1541 01:36:43,360 --> 01:36:45,555 # Touching the very part of me 1542 01:36:45,720 --> 01:36:47,915 # It's making my soul sing 1543 01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:50,514 # Tearing the very heart of me 1544 01:36:50,680 --> 01:36:52,875 # I'm crying out for more 1545 01:36:53,040 --> 01:36:54,917 # Your love is king 1546 01:36:56,000 --> 01:36:57,831 # Crown you in my heart 1547 01:36:58,000 --> 01:37:00,116 # Your love is king... 1548 01:37:00,280 --> 01:37:05,070 [Bridget] So, as you can see, I have found my happy ending at last. 1549 01:37:05,240 --> 01:37:10,155 And I truly believe that happiness is possible. 1550 01:37:12,880 --> 01:37:16,873 Even when you're 33 and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls. 1551 01:37:17,040 --> 01:37:20,430 # Your love is real # 1552 01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:26,230 [# Beyoncé: Crazy In Love] 1553 01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:35,789 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1554 01:37:35,960 --> 01:37:38,030 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1555 01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:40,395 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1556 01:37:40,560 --> 01:37:42,551 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1557 01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:49,755 # I look and stare so deep in your eyes 1558 01:37:49,920 --> 01:37:52,070 # Touch on you more and more every time 1559 01:37:52,240 --> 01:37:54,390 # When you leave I'm begging you not to go 1560 01:37:54,560 --> 01:37:56,630 # Call your name two, three times in a row 1561 01:37:56,800 --> 01:37:58,995 # Such a funny thing for me to try to explain 1562 01:37:59,160 --> 01:38:01,674 # How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame 1563 01:38:01,840 --> 01:38:03,717 # 'Cause I know I don't understand 1564 01:38:03,880 --> 01:38:06,314 # Just how your love can do what no-one else can 1565 01:38:06,480 --> 01:38:07,993 # Got me lookin' so crazy right now 1566 01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:10,196 # Your love's got me lookin’ so crazy right now 1567 01:38:10,360 --> 01:38:12,476 # Your love's Got me lookin’ so crazy right now 1568 01:38:12,640 --> 01:38:14,949 # Your touch got me lookin’ so crazy right now 1569 01:38:15,120 --> 01:38:17,270 # Your love's Got me hopin' you'll page me right now 1570 01:38:17,440 --> 01:38:19,749 # Your kiss got me hoping you'll save me right now 1571 01:38:19,920 --> 01:38:21,831 # Lookin’ so crazy Your love's got me lookin' 1572 01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:24,355 # Got me lookin’ so crazy in love 1573 01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:26,830 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1574 01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:29,150 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1575 01:38:29,320 --> 01:38:31,470 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no 1576 01:38:31,640 --> 01:38:33,790 # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... 1577 01:38:33,960 --> 01:38:36,155 [# Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love] 1578 01:38:41,240 --> 01:38:43,800 # Hearts gone astray 1579 01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:47,191 # Deep in her when they go 1580 01:38:48,680 --> 01:38:50,875 # I went away 1581 01:38:51,040 --> 01:38:54,476 # Just when you needed me so 1582 01:38:56,000 --> 01:38:58,230 # You won't regret 1583 01:38:58,400 --> 01:39:01,710 # I'll come back begging you 1584 01:39:02,200 --> 01:39:03,235 # Hmm 1585 01:39:03,400 --> 01:39:05,277 # Won't you forget 1586 01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:11,356 # Welcome love we once knew 1587 01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:16,435 # Open up your eyes Then you'll realise 1588 01:39:16,600 --> 01:39:19,831 # Here I stand with my everlasting love 1589 01:39:20,000 --> 01:39:23,595 # I need you by my side Girl to be my pride 1590 01:39:23,760 --> 01:39:31,917 # You'll never be denied everlasting love 1591 01:39:34,360 --> 01:39:36,828 # Hearts gone astray 1592 01:39:37,000 --> 01:39:40,197 # Deep in her when they go 1593 01:39:41,480 --> 01:39:43,755 # I went away 1594 01:39:44,280 --> 01:39:47,556 # Just when you needed me so 1595 01:39:48,880 --> 01:39:51,474 # You won't regret 1596 01:39:51,640 --> 01:39:55,076 # I'll come back begging you 1597 01:39:56,240 --> 01:39:58,390 # Won't you forget 1598 01:39:58,560 --> 01:40:04,351 # Welcome love we once knew 1599 01:40:05,960 --> 01:40:09,396 # Open up your eyes Then you'll realise 1600 01:40:09,560 --> 01:40:13,109 # Here I stand with my everlasting love 1601 01:40:13,280 --> 01:40:16,636 # Need you by my side Girl to be my pride 1602 01:40:16,800 --> 01:40:20,156 # You'll never be denied everlasting love 1603 01:40:20,320 --> 01:40:23,995 # From the very start Open up your heart 1604 01:40:24,160 --> 01:40:34,308 # Feel that you fall in everlasting love 1605 01:40:34,480 --> 01:40:38,155 # Need a love to last forever 1606 01:40:38,320 --> 01:40:41,790 # Need a love to last forever 1607 01:40:41,960 --> 01:40:45,350 # Need a love to last forever 1608 01:40:45,520 --> 01:40:57,830 # Need a love to last forever #