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[touch tones beeping]
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[line trills]
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[phones ringing]
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[upbeat music]
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[children singing]
Come one, come all
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'Cause we're having a ball
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We're just making
some calls to strangers
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We're back on the cell
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And the world's
gone to hell
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But you're gonna
feel swell
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When they pick up
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From New York to Alabammer
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They'll probably wanna
throw our ass in the slammer
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'Cause we're disturbing others
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Maybe even your mother
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Won't you join
the Crank Yankers tonight?
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- "Crank Yankers."
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- All right, let's go.
Let's do it.
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[line trills]
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[upbeat music]
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- [bleep].
Art Plano.
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- Hey, y'all do pottery, right?
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- Mm-hmm,
we do have pottery tools,
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and we have
some, like, plasticine clay.
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- My friends call me
"Spoonie Luv,"
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and a situation happened
with and my lady last night.
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We was watching--do
you remember "Ghost?"
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Do you remember
that movie, "Ghost?"
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- I don't watch many movies,
so sorry, I don't.
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[laughs]
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- Well, him and his lady
were doing pottery.
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- Oh.
- Then me and my lady--
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we started
trying to role-play last night.
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- Mm-hmm.
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- And we were making a pot,
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a pot with the pottery
and the clay.
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- Mm-hmm.
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- And it got sexual,
me and her.
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And we started
making sexual stuff.
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Like, we took the pottery,
we made a vagina.
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We made a big-ass penis.
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And, you know,
then it got hard.
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And me and her--
we're stuck together.
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- Okay.
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- Oh, my goodness.
46
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- Do you need
anything here, sir?
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- Wait, oh, yeah, we need
some help from you guys.
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- Okay.
49
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- I don't know
how we're gonna do this.
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Can you--since this stuff
got hard,
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and we stuck into this.
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- Oh, the clay got hard?
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
53
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- We don't do, like,
service calls--
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- Oh, my God.
55
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- If you need something,
you can come here.
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- We can't.
Me and her are stuck together.
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- Okay, that might be
a situation for 911, sir.
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We only sell art supplies.
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- Well, we got really
into the clay...
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- Okay.
- And the clay is all over us.
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And I was doing
doggy style with her.
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- Yeah, I don't need to know
any of the details,
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but use water.
Yeah, you can use water.
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- We wanted to be really close,
so we started rolling.
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We put the plastic down
on the floor,
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and we started having sex.
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And she said she wanted me
to mount her.
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She wanted me behind her.
She wanted to feel me.
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And we started doing it,
and then all of a sudden
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while we've been doing it
so long,
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'cause you know
I ain't no minute man.
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I go--last time,
I went like two
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and a half hours
going straight.
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- Okay, good for you, sir.
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- And I was behind her
and hitting it doggy style,
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and the clay got hard.
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- Okay, all right.
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- And we don't know what to do.
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We just don't know what to do.
- I'm sorry.
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I don't really
know if I can help you.
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This really sounds
like a 911 situation, sir.
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I don't--that's not
really our expertise.
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- [sighs]
So we stuck like this?
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- No, just call 911.
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- Look, she do not want men
coming in this house
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'cause her areolas
are way too big for that.
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- Okay.
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You know, the folks at 911,
they've seen everything.
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They're not going
to get bothered.
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- They ain't never seen
no areolas like this.
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Her nipples are innies.
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- That's okay.
I'm sure they won't mind.
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- Look, I'm
into C-section scars.
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And she don't want nobody
to see her C-section.
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- They do C-sections there.
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- But this the old-school one.
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It looked like that color
on Frankenstein's forehead.
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- Yes, they do those
there as well.
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- Can I be honest with you?
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I'm a older man,
and my penis is very flaccid.
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- Okay, that's all right.
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Just--they have seen many,
many people naked.
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- Ain't nobody seen
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no big flaccid dinga-a-ling
like this.
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- Yeah, I'm sure they have.
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- This ding-a-ling is flaccid.
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- That's--look, man, it's okay.
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- Spoonie don't get
caught like this.
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- Well, why don't you get
unstuck first,
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and then you can call us back
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about the pottery.
How about that?
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- How I'ma get unstuck?
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- Call 911.
They can help you.
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- Baby, I got an idea.
I know how to get out of this.
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Listen, listen, come here.
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I'ma smack your butt cheek,
just wiggle it around.
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It's going to get hard again,
and I can break the clay.
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- Okay, I'm gonna hang up now,
okay, sir?
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- Oh, oh.
120
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Oh, let me smack it.
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[screams]
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- Okay, call 911, thank you.
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- Oh, no, I'm out. I'm out.
124
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I'm out.
[sighs] Oh.
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Spoonie Luv from Up Above.
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[laughs]
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[swing music]
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[line trilling]
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- [bleep].
How can I help ya?
130
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- Hi, I need help with
a magic trick my dad's doing.
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Can you help me?
132
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- Oh, what you got?
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- So my dad has been
making food disappear
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from the refrigerator,
and I want it to stop.
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- Oh, man, I'd say a lock
and key and chain
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will do it better
than any magic trick.
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- Yeah, there was a whole cake
in there yesterday,
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and now it's gone.
He said it's magic.
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He also made eight bags
of chips
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and four boxes of cookies
disappear from the pantry.
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- [laughs]
That's awesome,
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00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,546
horrible for whoever wanted
those cookies and chips,
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00:05:29,612 --> 00:05:32,949
but that's a pretty--that's
a pretty good trick.
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- He also made
all the toilet paper
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in the house disappear too.
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- Well, you know, you gotta
use it every now and then.
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00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,357
- Can you tell me a spell
to put all the food back?
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00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,027
- Oh, that'd be good.
That'd be good.
149
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,429
- I also have
a good magic question.
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- Go for it.
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- What card I'm I thinking of?
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00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:53,303
- Two of spades.
- Yes!
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00:05:53,369 --> 00:05:55,138
- Oh, heck, yeah, heck yeah.
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I normally get that right
every 52 times.
155
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,842
So luckily that was
a good time.
156
00:05:58,908 --> 00:06:00,743
But anyway,
I gotta let you go, okay?
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You have a great day.
158
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- Leslie, mom wants you to stop
159
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making prank phone calls!
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- Shut up!
- No!
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- Can you please give me
a spell
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that makes my sister disappear?
She is so annoying!
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- I'm not that good, sorry.
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- Oh, dang it.
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[upbeat swing music]
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That was a good one.
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- What would make me feel good
as a customer
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who's spent millions
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at Limone Jello Boutique,
for you to say,
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"I don't think
this looks good on you.
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00:06:35,512 --> 00:06:37,714
"You don't have
the right kind of body.
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00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:41,518
"You don't have a good body.
Before you go around town
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00:06:41,584 --> 00:06:45,088
"talking about
what a wonderful woman you are
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00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:49,526
and sleeping with other women's
husbands and sons."
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Do you know she sleeps
with sons?
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00:06:54,338 --> 00:07:00,011
- [laughs]
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00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:02,813
- Hello, Limone Jello Boutique.
This's Nicole.
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00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,448
- Yes, hello, Nicole.
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00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:08,853
I'm calling because I bought
a blouse there last week.
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00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,289
- Okay.
- And I apologize.
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I don't know the designer
of the blouse
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because I've actually--I've
actually since thrown it away.
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But I was under the assumption
that I had bought
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the last floral blouse.
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00:07:23,434 --> 00:07:27,104
And when I got down to the club
last Saturday,
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00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:31,642
Trudy Delacroix was wearing
the same floral blouse
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00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:34,478
that I thought I had purchased
the last one of
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00:07:34,545 --> 00:07:36,247
at Limone Jello Boutique.
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00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:40,518
- Do you have any sense of,
like, what it looked like
190
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,487
so I can try--it
would help me better understand
191
00:07:43,554 --> 00:07:45,323
if I knew which blouse it was--
192
00:07:45,389 --> 00:07:46,857
'cause you know, every brand
is different.
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00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,293
Some brands design a lot of--
you know, a lot of pieces
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00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,661
because we love them
195
00:07:50,728 --> 00:07:52,196
and we think that
they're gonna be really,
196
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,632
you know, popular
and people will like them.
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00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:56,867
- [sighs]
Well, yes, like I said,
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00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,103
I tore the label off
out of anger
199
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,738
'cause I was,
you know--I apologize.
200
00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:03,941
This woman, Trudy Delacroix,
has truly toyed
201
00:08:04,008 --> 00:08:06,110
and trifled with my life.
202
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:09,914
The colors were my colors,
orange, pink,
203
00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:12,917
and yellow, which she knows.
204
00:08:12,984 --> 00:08:16,354
Typically, she's in
a mint green or a purple,
205
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:18,222
which are colors
I would never touch.
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00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,524
Those are Riddler colors.
207
00:08:20,591 --> 00:08:23,861
- Um, yeah, again,
I'm not sure.
208
00:08:23,928 --> 00:08:27,131
I don't know the blouse.
You know, we sell, you know,
209
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,834
whatever blouse people
want to buy.
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00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:34,539
You know, it's dependent
on what they like and want so--
211
00:08:34,605 --> 00:08:36,140
- Yes, but this is
a devil woman.
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00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:39,410
I mean, you have no idea
what this woman does, you know.
213
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,412
I was at
her daughter's baptism,
214
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,148
and she sat me
next to my ex-fiancé.
215
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,750
Can you imagine?
216
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:49,487
- Wow, that is--that's
pretty terrible.
217
00:08:49,554 --> 00:08:50,888
- Yeah, she set me up.
218
00:08:50,955 --> 00:08:53,090
And she has a darkness
in her soul,
219
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:55,993
and I think anytime she's in
one of your fitting rooms,
220
00:08:56,093 --> 00:08:58,396
she's doing the devil's work
in there.
221
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:02,700
- You know,
I'm really sorry.
222
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:05,570
Again, I don't really--
I don't know her.
223
00:09:05,636 --> 00:09:08,239
So it's hard for me
to sort of--yeah,
224
00:09:08,306 --> 00:09:10,808
I don't know--is
there something I can do or--
225
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:12,543
- Yes!
226
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:14,946
Her name is Trudy Delacroix,
227
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:18,382
and if she comes in,
and she's shopping around,
228
00:09:18,449 --> 00:09:21,886
and she tries out a dress,
probably one that I've bought,
229
00:09:21,953 --> 00:09:24,989
I think what would make me
feel good as a customer
230
00:09:25,122 --> 00:09:28,159
who's spent millions
at Limone Jello Boutique,
231
00:09:28,226 --> 00:09:32,263
for you to say, "I don't think
this looks good on you.
232
00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:34,665
"You don't have
the right kind of body.
233
00:09:34,732 --> 00:09:36,334
"You don't have a good body.
234
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,636
"And it doesn't do anything
for your face
235
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,005
"because you don't even
have a good face.
236
00:09:41,138 --> 00:09:44,442
"You should wear a ski mask,
Trudy Delacroix.
237
00:09:44,508 --> 00:09:48,312
"You should know better
before you go around town
238
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,616
"talking about what
a wonderful woman you are
239
00:09:51,682 --> 00:09:56,087
and sleeping with other women's
husbands and sons."
240
00:09:56,087 --> 00:09:59,457
Do you know
she sleeps with sons?
241
00:09:59,523 --> 00:10:01,292
- Um... [quietly] Let me know
once you're ready.
242
00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:03,227
Okay, perfect.
Yeah, that's okay--
243
00:10:03,294 --> 00:10:07,698
- Is that Trudy? Is that Trudy?
Is she--is that Trudy?
244
00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:08,966
- No.
I'm just gonna--
245
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,168
- Ask her--you might wanna
ask her name.
246
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,804
Ask her if her name is
Trudy Delacroix.
247
00:10:13,871 --> 00:10:17,008
- I'm pretty sure
that she is not.
248
00:10:17,108 --> 00:10:19,710
- I would be happy if the woman
who's trying to buy
249
00:10:19,777 --> 00:10:21,145
something there right now,
250
00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:23,180
if you spit on her face.
251
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,116
- If I--if I what?
252
00:10:25,116 --> 00:10:26,551
- Spit on her.
253
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:31,455
- Well, okay,
hold on one second.
254
00:10:32,123 --> 00:10:33,457
- Trudy?
255
00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:36,127
Trudy, you don't
deserve clothes
256
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:40,431
at Limone Jello Boutique.
Trudy, get out of there!
257
00:10:40,498 --> 00:10:43,401
Get out of the
Limone Jello Boutique, Trudy!
258
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:45,136
- Hello, ma'am?
259
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:48,239
- Hi, is this Trudy Delacroix?
- No, ma'am, she--
260
00:10:48,306 --> 00:10:50,374
Trudy is not here
at the moment.
261
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,743
- Punch her in the dick!
Punch her in the dick!
262
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:54,378
She's probably got a dick.
263
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,080
She acts like a man
with that mouth.
264
00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:58,182
Punch her in the dick.
265
00:10:58,249 --> 00:11:00,885
- Um, I cannot do that.
I'm sorry.
266
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,254
But I'm happy to, you know,
give you a discount
267
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:04,922
on your next shopping trip here
268
00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:08,092
if that would
help you feel better.
269
00:11:08,092 --> 00:11:09,660
- What did you say?
270
00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:13,197
- I'm happy to give you,
you know, a discount
271
00:11:13,264 --> 00:11:14,732
on your next purchase here
272
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,100
if that would help you
feel better,
273
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:18,769
if that would help remedy
the situation.
274
00:11:18,836 --> 00:11:21,539
- 75% off, please.
275
00:11:21,606 --> 00:11:23,107
- Um, I can't do that.
276
00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:26,344
I could do 25% off
your next shopping trip here.
277
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:29,347
- 45%?
I had to ask.
278
00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:32,383
- [laughs]
Sorry, yeah, we can do 25.
279
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:35,386
- Okay, it's a deal.
Thank you so much.
280
00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:39,790
- Yes, thank you, bye-bye.
- Too-da-loo.
281
00:11:39,857 --> 00:11:42,126
Oh, another angel.
282
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:44,662
- Listen to me,
I want a set of fries
283
00:11:44,729 --> 00:11:47,131
and I want two diet Cokes.
284
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,599
- Anything else?
285
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,968
- Yes, if you just listen
to me, okay.
286
00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:52,737
- Well, I'm listening to you.
I'm taking your order.
287
00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:54,138
What do you want me to do?
288
00:11:54,205 --> 00:11:55,573
- All right,
if I can get a word in.
289
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,841
- Yeah, but you're
confusing me now.
290
00:11:56,908 --> 00:11:58,175
How many sandwiches
do you wanna?
291
00:11:58,242 --> 00:11:59,610
- Buddy, buddy,
I'm trying to order
292
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,179
if you just give me a minute
to talk and listen to me.
293
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,654
{\an7}- You listen to me.
I don’t wanna have
294
00:12:04,654 --> 00:12:06,588
{\an7}to repeat myself.
295
00:12:06,588 --> 00:12:09,928
{\an7}[line trills]
296
00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:10,862
{\an7}- [bleep].
297
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,291
{\an7}- Hey, I’d like to order
\h\h\ha pick-up, please.
298
00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:14,159
{\an7}- What would you like?
299
00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:16,159
{\an7}- Okay, is there like a--like
\h\h\h\h\h\ha--listen to me,
300
00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:17,357
{\an7}I’d like a cheese sandwich,
301
00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,423
{\an7}grilled cheese...
\h\h\h\h- Mm-hmm.
302
00:12:19,423 --> 00:12:21,588
{\an7}- With a side of fries.
\h\h\h\h\hNow, listen--
303
00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:25,159
{\an7}\h\h\hnow listen good,
I want a veggie burger
304
00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:28,687
{\an7}with extra pickles and cheese.
305
00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:29,357
{\an7}- Mm-hmm.
306
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:30,994
{\an7}- All right, now hear me out.
307
00:12:30,994 --> 00:12:34,027
{\an7}Are you listening?
308
00:12:34,027 --> 00:12:34,895
{\an7}Are you there?
309
00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:36,225
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hHello?
- Yeah, I’m here.
310
00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:38,423
{\an7}- All right, now listen--
\h\h\h\h\h\hlisten to me.
311
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:40,027
{\an7}I want a side of fries,
312
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:42,687
{\an7}and I want two diet Cokes.
313
00:12:42,687 --> 00:12:43,796
{\an7}- Anything else?
314
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,093
{\an7}- Yes, if you just listen
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto me.
315
00:12:46,093 --> 00:12:47,796
{\an7}Oh, man, I’m so sick
\hand tired of people
316
00:12:47,796 --> 00:12:50,522
{\an7}who don’t wanna listen anymore,
you know what I’m saying? Okay.
317
00:12:50,522 --> 00:12:52,895
{\an7}- Well, I’m listening to you.
\h\h\h\hI’m taking your order.
318
00:12:52,895 --> 00:12:53,928
{\an7}What do you want me to do?
319
00:12:53,928 --> 00:12:55,423
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h- All right,
if I can get a word in.
320
00:12:55,423 --> 00:13:00,928
{\an7}\h\hI’d like a cheese sandwich,
grilled cheese, extra pickles.
321
00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:03,192
{\an7}All right, now listen good
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hon this one.
322
00:13:03,192 --> 00:13:04,796
{\an7}I don’t wanna have
\hto repeat myself.
323
00:13:04,796 --> 00:13:06,093
{\an7}- Yeah, but you’re
\hconfusing me now.
324
00:13:06,093 --> 00:13:07,258
{\an7}How many sandwiches
\h\h\hdo you wanna?
325
00:13:07,258 --> 00:13:08,763
{\an7}- Buddy, buddy, buddy,
\h\hI’m trying to order
326
00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:12,159
{\an7}if you just give me a minute
\h\hto talk and listen to me.
327
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:12,862
{\an7}I’m sorry.
328
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,390
{\an7}I don’t wanna come down hard
\h\h\hon you, but, you know,
329
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:18,192
{\an7}\h\h\h\hthis COVID has really,
you know, put me in a bad mood.
330
00:13:18,192 --> 00:13:20,093
{\an7}- I’m not trying to put you
\h\h\h\h\h\hin a bad mood,
331
00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:21,961
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbut, you know,
you’re repeating the order now,
332
00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:24,225
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hso I don’t know
how many sandwiches you wanna.
333
00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:26,895
{\an7}- I understand you’ve had
\h\ha hard day. I get it.
334
00:13:26,895 --> 00:13:30,687
{\an7}All right, listen to me.
I got a big family here,
335
00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:31,555
{\an7}and it’s a problem.
336
00:13:31,555 --> 00:13:32,928
{\an7}\hYou know, people
never listen to me,
337
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:35,357
{\an7}\hand I’m so sick and tired
of it, you what I’m saying?
338
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,588
{\an7}I’m just--you know, I talk.
\h\h\h\h\h\hNobody listens.
339
00:13:37,588 --> 00:13:39,324
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hAll right,
so here’s what I want.
340
00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:40,456
{\an7}You listening to me?
341
00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:43,522
{\an7}I’d like a patty melt,
\h\h\h\hextra pickles.
342
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:46,423
{\an7}Now you listen to me,
and you listen good.
343
00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:48,796
{\an7}I want that patty melt
\h\h\h\h\hmedium rare.
344
00:13:48,796 --> 00:13:50,928
{\an7}Is that okay?
Is that fine?
345
00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:52,390
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h- Yeah, I know,
but the thing is, you know,
346
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,654
{\an7}I’m trying to take your order,
\h\h\hyou know, the right way,
347
00:13:54,654 --> 00:13:56,895
{\an7}you know, so I don’t mess up
like you said, but you know--
348
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,390
{\an7}- Yeah, you’re the best.
\h\h\h\hYou’re the best.
349
00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:00,126
{\an7}- I don’t know what you’re
\htrying to order, though.
350
00:14:00,126 --> 00:14:01,522
{\an7}\h- You’re the best.
I’ve had a hard day.
351
00:14:01,522 --> 00:14:03,027
{\an7}\h- All right, so let’s
start over again, okay>
352
00:14:03,027 --> 00:14:04,357
{\an7}- Yeah, here is what
\h\h\hI’m gonna have.
353
00:14:04,357 --> 00:14:06,654
{\an7}\h\h\hI just wanna make sure
that you are listening to me.
354
00:14:06,654 --> 00:14:07,961
{\an7}If you could just repeat,
355
00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:10,489
{\an7}what is your name first of all?
356
00:14:11,258 --> 00:14:12,390
{\an7}- [bleep]
357
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:15,720
{\an7}Okay, so how are you gonna
\h\h\h\hpay for your order,
358
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,796
{\an7}credit or cash?
359
00:14:16,796 --> 00:14:19,829
{\an7}- I’ll probably pay with cash.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Cash?
360
00:14:19,829 --> 00:14:23,225
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h- Yeah, cash?
Do you guys take cash?
361
00:14:23,225 --> 00:14:25,093
{\an7}- Yeah, yeah, we do, yeah.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Okay.
362
00:14:25,093 --> 00:14:25,928
{\an7}- All right, okay.
363
00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,093
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hAll right,
you’re a good listener.
364
00:14:27,093 --> 00:14:30,258
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hAll right,
hang on a second now.
365
00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:33,829
{\an7}Hey, guys, who--you wanted
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\ha hot dog?
366
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:37,357
{\an7}\hGuys, listen to me.
Who wanted a hot dog?
367
00:14:37,357 --> 00:14:39,720
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hOkay, all right.
Sammy is having a hot dog.
368
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,555
{\an7}So we get a hot dog
\h\hwith the works.
369
00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:42,862
{\an7}\h\h- We don’t have
that kind of food.
370
00:14:42,862 --> 00:14:44,829
{\an7}\h\h\hWe don’t have
hot dogs here, sir.
371
00:14:44,829 --> 00:14:45,829
{\an7}- Okay, but listen to me.
372
00:14:45,829 --> 00:14:48,862
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI want
two hot dogs with the works.
373
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,961
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- I told you
we don’t have hot dogs, sir.
374
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,654
{\an7}\h\h\hWe don’t sell
that kind of food.
375
00:14:52,654 --> 00:14:54,961
{\an7}- Did you look in the back?
376
00:14:55,159 --> 00:14:59,258
{\an7}- Do you--do you have anything
\h\h\h\helse better to do, huh?
377
00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:00,093
{\an7}- Buddy, listen to me.
378
00:15:00,093 --> 00:15:01,324
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI’m trying
to order food for my family.
379
00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:03,060
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h- Why don’t you call
another restaurant, all right,
380
00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:03,994
{\an7}and leave us alone, please?
381
00:15:03,994 --> 00:15:06,522
{\an7}\h- I like your hot dogs.
All right, listen to me.
382
00:15:06,522 --> 00:15:09,291
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hWhat kind of dogs
are the hot dogs made from?
383
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:10,895
{\an7}[receiver clicks]
384
00:15:10,895 --> 00:15:13,192
{\an7}[upbeat music]
385
00:15:13,192 --> 00:15:16,093
{\an7}\h\h\h\hTell me more
about your hot dogs.
386
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,687
{\an7}- Now, have you ever cleaned
\h\h\h\h\h\ha bowling alley?
387
00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:21,862
{\an7}\h\h\h- I would have to speak
with the owner of the company
388
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:24,390
{\an7}\h\h\hbecause we normally
don’t do bowling alleys.
389
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:28,489
{\an7}\h- Hmm, where is he, at home,
lounging about while you work?
390
00:15:28,489 --> 00:15:32,423
{\an7}\h\h\h\hIs he feasting off
the sweat of his laborers?
391
00:15:32,423 --> 00:15:34,258
{\an7}- He might be.
392
00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:39,746
- I've got
an enormous cleanup job.
393
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:43,116
[line trilling]
394
00:15:45,351 --> 00:15:46,452
- Good afternoon,
395
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,254
This is Diana.
How can I help you?
396
00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:49,856
- This is
Niles Standish calling.
397
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:53,559
I have quite a cleanup job,
and I need the best.
398
00:15:53,626 --> 00:15:56,195
And I believe your company
can handle this.
399
00:15:56,262 --> 00:15:57,597
Yes-yes?
400
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:00,833
- Yes.
- I need a doubled, yes-yes.
401
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:02,935
- Yes-yes.
402
00:16:03,002 --> 00:16:04,237
- There we are.
403
00:16:04,303 --> 00:16:06,839
Now, have you ever cleaned
a bowling alley?
404
00:16:06,906 --> 00:16:08,207
- Um, no.
405
00:16:08,274 --> 00:16:10,076
- So let me tell you
what happened.
406
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:13,613
We threw Mama a party
for her 100th.
407
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,282
I'm not saying birthday,
liver spot, or lover,
408
00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,817
but it's one of those.
409
00:16:17,884 --> 00:16:20,253
And things got
a bit out of hand.
410
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,422
Her with her senior friends
411
00:16:22,488 --> 00:16:24,457
made quite a mess of the lanes.
412
00:16:24,924 --> 00:16:27,226
Now, I offered
the bowling alley
413
00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:28,728
to simply burn the place down
414
00:16:28,795 --> 00:16:30,697
and have it rebuilt
in the Greek revival style.
415
00:16:30,763 --> 00:16:32,265
They wouldn't hear of it.
416
00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:33,766
They want
the whole place cleaned.
417
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:35,435
Can you handle this?
418
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:38,104
- I would have to speak
with the owner of the company
419
00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:41,074
because we normally
don't do bowling alleys.
420
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:43,710
We usually do residences
and offices,
421
00:16:43,776 --> 00:16:45,578
so I would have
to speak with him.
422
00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:48,414
And he's currently not
in the office right now.
423
00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:52,251
- Hmm, where is he, at home,
lounging about while you work?
424
00:16:52,318 --> 00:16:55,388
Is he feasting off the sweet of
his laborers?
425
00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:56,956
'Cause I love it.
426
00:16:57,023 --> 00:16:58,591
- He might be.
[laughs]
427
00:16:58,658 --> 00:17:00,927
- What if I were to tell you
that my uncle, Joshua,
428
00:17:00,994 --> 00:17:02,996
lives at
the bowling alley illegally.
429
00:17:03,062 --> 00:17:05,665
Does that count it
as a residence?
430
00:17:05,732 --> 00:17:07,100
- Probably not.
431
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:08,534
- All right.
432
00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:10,236
Now, I will tell you,
there is a bit of a problem,
433
00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:13,239
and this is
a little bit delicate.
434
00:17:13,239 --> 00:17:16,909
One of mama's guests
made a number deuce
435
00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:18,077
in the claw machine.
436
00:17:18,144 --> 00:17:19,946
We tried all night
to get it out,
437
00:17:20,013 --> 00:17:22,682
but alas, the game
is quite difficult to master.
438
00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:25,785
Have you ever won anything
at the claw machine?
439
00:17:25,852 --> 00:17:27,987
- No.
- Hmm.
440
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:29,656
I really need somebody
who's good at that
441
00:17:29,722 --> 00:17:32,258
to get that dookie
out of there.
442
00:17:32,325 --> 00:17:35,194
Have you ever thrown a party
for a 100-year-old?
443
00:17:35,194 --> 00:17:36,562
- Yes.
444
00:17:36,629 --> 00:17:38,297
- Well, then you know
what I'm talking about.
445
00:17:38,364 --> 00:17:41,901
You know how wild it can get.
Can I tell you something?
446
00:17:41,968 --> 00:17:43,102
- Sure.
447
00:17:43,202 --> 00:17:44,737
- Mama's friend, Leonard,
448
00:17:44,804 --> 00:17:46,205
tried to pick up
a bowling ball,
449
00:17:46,205 --> 00:17:48,975
popped his hernia,
and made hummus in his pants.
450
00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:51,277
That's not your problem.
I just need to vent about it.
451
00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:53,946
I said, "Don't bring Leonard."
452
00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:56,215
- And she brought Leonard.
453
00:17:56,215 --> 00:17:58,785
- And she brought Leonard.
And what did we end up with?
454
00:17:58,851 --> 00:18:00,253
- Hummus in the pants.
455
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,221
- Hummus in the pants, exactly,
hummus in the pants.
456
00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:04,223
Now, I don't know
about your party,
457
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,526
but at my party,
my little brother, Giles,
458
00:18:06,592 --> 00:18:08,628
smuggled himself in
inside the cake,
459
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:10,563
which made everyone
who ate it sick
460
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:13,566
because Giles did not properly
scrub himself beforehand,
461
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:14,901
did you, Giles?
462
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:16,302
- I did not poop.
463
00:18:16,369 --> 00:18:17,403
- Hang up the phone, Giles.
I was just calling--
464
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:18,738
- Who are you talking to?
465
00:18:18,805 --> 00:18:20,873
- I'm talking
to the hazmat team.
466
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,342
They're cleaning up the mess
467
00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:23,810
at the bowling alley
because of you.
468
00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:26,012
- I didn't do it. Are you gonna
clean up everything?
469
00:18:26,079 --> 00:18:29,549
The stains go up
thousands of miles.
470
00:18:30,249 --> 00:18:31,517
- Please, please, hang up.
471
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:32,885
- Will you clean me?
472
00:18:32,952 --> 00:18:34,454
- Giles, she's not going
to clean--
473
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,356
please tell Giles
you're not going to clean him.
474
00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:39,225
- I do apologize, Giles,
but that is not what we do.
475
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,061
- Just as
a Saturday scrub up, hmm?
476
00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:44,330
- She's not gonna give you
a Saturday scrub up.
477
00:18:44,397 --> 00:18:45,531
- I sit down at the sink
478
00:18:45,598 --> 00:18:47,066
and you give me
a Saturday scrub up.
479
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:50,837
- I apologize.
Giles is--you know what?
480
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,338
Can you just hold on
one moment?
481
00:18:52,405 --> 00:18:54,941
I need to go use the bidet.
Giles, you talk to her.
482
00:18:55,441 --> 00:18:57,410
- Sure.
- I like to clean things.
483
00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:58,578
Do you like to clean things?
484
00:18:58,645 --> 00:18:59,712
- Giles?
485
00:18:59,779 --> 00:19:01,114
- I'm okay
with cleaning things.
486
00:19:01,214 --> 00:19:05,585
I'm more of the receptionist
than the cleaner.
487
00:19:05,652 --> 00:19:07,720
- Niles is cleaning his
little brown trumpet
488
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:09,389
with the bidet.
- Uh-oh.
489
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:11,424
- Yes, I am, and it's wondrous!
490
00:19:11,491 --> 00:19:14,060
It's wondrous!
Oh, I'm flying.
491
00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:16,796
Somebody turn down
the pressure on this thing.
492
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:19,632
- He's making all kinds
of messes.
493
00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:22,468
Will you come clean up
Giles's messes?
494
00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:25,705
- I think would probably need
a hazmat team as well.
495
00:19:25,772 --> 00:19:27,373
- I clean myself
with my tongue.
496
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,509
Watch, look how long
my tongue is.
497
00:19:29,575 --> 00:19:32,245
- Oh, Giles,
put your tongue away
498
00:19:32,278 --> 00:19:35,281
and turn down the pressure
on this damnable bidet!
499
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,016
I'm in the air.
500
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,285
- He's up in the air.
501
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,853
Do you want
some chocolate birthday cake?
502
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,088
I have some in my bummer.
503
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:44,424
- Nope, I'm good.
I don't like chocolate.
504
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:47,360
- I'm sorry, I'm back.
I'm sorry.
505
00:19:47,427 --> 00:19:49,495
And trust me,
it's not chocolate.
506
00:19:49,996 --> 00:19:52,365
Listen, you've been wonderful.
507
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:55,435
And what would the rate be
for all of this?
508
00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:57,503
- Like I said,
I'd have to speak with my boss
509
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,272
because he's the one
that does the pricing.
510
00:19:59,339 --> 00:20:00,606
- Mm-hmm.
511
00:20:00,673 --> 00:20:03,409
Let me ask you this.
Do you have mops?
512
00:20:03,476 --> 00:20:04,677
- Yes.
513
00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:06,579
- How many mops do you have?
514
00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:08,681
- At least three or four
in each van.
515
00:20:09,248 --> 00:20:11,084
- Would you do me a favor?
516
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:13,453
- Sure.
- Would you double it?
517
00:20:13,519 --> 00:20:14,854
- We probably could.
518
00:20:14,921 --> 00:20:16,489
- I want you
to double those mops.
519
00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:18,291
You've been wonderful, love.
520
00:20:18,358 --> 00:20:20,560
I will call back
with all the information,
521
00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:25,531
and I can't wait for Leonard's
hummus to be all cleaned up.
522
00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:27,767
- Wonderful.
523
00:20:27,834 --> 00:20:29,469
- I'm gonna go ride
the bidet some more.
524
00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:31,437
Toodles, love.
- Have fun.
525
00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:33,272
Have a good day.
Bye-bye.
526
00:20:33,339 --> 00:20:36,409
[dramatic orchestral music]
527
00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:38,578
- Yeah, she was awesome.
She was great.
528
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:49,019
[electronic music]
529
00:21:05,035 --> 00:21:08,572
- Look at that.
530
00:21:08,639 --> 00:21:11,242
- [singing] MTV