1 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:09,141 >> dicky: From hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! 2 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,278 Tonight, dr. Phil mcgraw. Cnn's john king. 3 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:21,520 And music from maren morris. And now, jimmy kimmel! 4 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,490 >> jimmy: Oh, that's me. Hi, everyone, I'm jimmy, I'm the 5 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,558 host. Thank you for watching. 6 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,260 Thank you for joining outside cma night. 7 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:32,698 A special hello to those keeping the party going after the cmas 8 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,769 tonight. We have something fun with chris 9 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:37,770 stapleton later on. [ cheers and applause ] 10 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,572 and he's going to join us tomorrow night. 11 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,876 Best wishes to our veterans on veterans day. 12 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,045 Thank you for your service. And sacrifice. 13 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,546 [ cheers and applause ] I hope you felt appreciated 14 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,081 today because you are, by us, at least. 15 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,084 Our president, donald trump -- this kind of tells you all you 16 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:56,088 need to know about him. This is joe biden's first tweet 17 00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:58,490 of the day. Today we honor the service of 18 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:01,360 those who have worn the uniform of the armed forces of the 19 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,594 united states who are proud veterans. 20 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,464 I will be a commander in chief who respects your sacrifice, 21 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,734 understands your service, and will never betray the values you 22 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:13,038 fought so bravely to drend. And this was donald trump's 23 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:16,241 first tweet today. We will win. 24 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,743 Actually, it was a retweet of himself. 25 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,346 [ laughter ] it's hard to believe that in 75 26 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,981 short years we've gone from this to this. 27 00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:28,854 But we have. Trump did emerge from his bunker 28 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,223 today. He visited arlington cemetery to 29 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:35,828 lay a wreath at the tomb of the unknown loser -- I mean, 30 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:39,364 soldier. Those were his words, not mine. 31 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,267 That was his only scheduled event of the week so far. 32 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:46,405 He's busy doing everything he can to maintain his tiny 33 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,173 cheeto-like grip on the presidency. 34 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:53,011 Several top defense officials, our pentagon, they've been 35 00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:54,279 ousted in favor of loyal trump administers. 36 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:58,684 The directors of the fbi and cia are rumored to be on the 37 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,853 chopping block. Some are saying that trump is 38 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:04,523 turning the administration into a banana republic, which I don't 39 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,494 know, to me it feels more like a baby gap. 40 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:12,231 Laugh but obviously trump installing these loyalists or 41 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:15,067 people he thinks are loyalists in key spots at the pentagon 42 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:18,170 raises fears that he's plotting something. 43 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:22,341 We may soon find out the answer to the question, can a coup be 44 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:27,379 pulled off by people who spell it "coo"? 45 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,047 [ laughter ] team trump continues to claim 46 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,483 there was widespread voter fraud even though there's no evidence 47 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:34,253 to support that. He's filing lawsuits left and 48 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,454 right. This is a transcript from a 49 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,957 courtroom exchange between trump's lawyers in pennsylvania 50 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,560 and the judge. The judge asks the trump lawyer, 51 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:46,064 are you claiming that there's any fraud in connection with 52 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:49,334 these 592 ballots? Trump's lawyer responds, "to my 53 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,205 knowledge at present, no." then the judge asks, are you 54 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,009 claiming that there's any undue or improper influence upon the 55 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,577 electorate with respect to these 592 ballots? 56 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,647 Trump's lawyer says, "to my knowledge, not at present, no." 57 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,517 so okay, then what the hell are you guys doing here? 58 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,452 [ laughter ] even donald trump's lawyers have 59 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,588 no evidence of voter fraud. [ laughter ] 60 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:18,430 but they're throwing all sorts of nonsense out there to see if 61 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,598 any of it floats. One of their most outlandish 62 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,833 claims is dead people voted in droves in pennsylvania. 63 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,335 The only dead person who voted in this election is rudy 64 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,436 giuliani, okay? [ laughter ] 65 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:30,943 and he's registered in transylvania not pennsylvania. 66 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:34,046 Election officials in pennsylvania have found no 67 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:39,418 credible instances of fraud but don't tell that to our 68 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:42,354 ex-president. His sycophants are demanding the 69 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,756 resignation from the republican secretary of state in georgia. 70 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:48,126 Trump himself lashed out today at the republican commissioner 71 00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:50,362 of philadelphia. He wrote, a guy named al 72 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:54,666 schmidt, a philadelphia commissioner and so-called 73 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:59,538 republican, rino, is being used big-time by the fake news media 74 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,808 to explain how honest things were in the philadelphia 75 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,710 election. He refuses to look at a mountain 76 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,179 of corruption and dishonesty. We win. 77 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,615 Rino stands for "republican in name only." 78 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:13,051 that's what they call any republican who won't go along 79 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,221 with trump's b.S. Trump was a democrat like 12 80 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,422 years ago. [ laughter ] 81 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,759 and this guy al has obviously had enough of this schmidt. 82 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:25,530 >> I realize a lot of people of happy about this election and a 83 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,800 lot of people are not happy about this election. 84 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:36,241 One thing I can't comprehend is how hungry people are to consume 85 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,876 lies. And to consume information that 86 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,445 is not true. >> jimmy: Well what are we 87 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:44,616 supposed to eat? The Halloween candy is gone. 88 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,419 [ laughter ] we have 70 days to figure this 89 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,487 out. I once had a rat in my at that I 90 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,790 can wouldn't leave. I finally got him out by putting 91 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,826 an oreo in the trap. Seems like maybe that could work 92 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:57,896 here too, right? [ laughter ] 93 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:02,801 anyone phoned nabisco? You know what trump reminds me 94 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,236 of? That lady who claims she found a 95 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:08,974 finger in the chili at wendy's. Her name was anna ayallah. 96 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,911 In 2005 she was eating at a wendy's in san jose, claims she 97 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:17,382 found a severed finger in the chili bowl, it was a big story. 98 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,717 There was a multi-pronged investigation. 99 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,153 Along the way they found out anna, like our president, had a 100 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,488 long history of suing companies for no good reason. 101 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,958 And when the investigation was finished, it was clear that the 102 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:31,029 finger in the chili, like these allegations of widespread voter 103 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:34,700 fraud, had been planted. The finger belonged to her 104 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,302 husband's co-worker. He lost it in an accident. 105 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,503 She cooked it and made the story up. 106 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:42,374 She wasted everyone's time, burned through a lot of taxpayer 107 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,575 money. You know what happened to anna? 108 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:49,548 She served four years in prison. Or one term as president. 109 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,749 [ laughter ] and on top of that, she was 110 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:55,320 banned from wendy's for life. That's what they should do to 111 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:58,857 punish trump, ban him from wendy's for life. 112 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,293 [ cheers and applause ] you'll never drink a frosty 113 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,594 again! Here's another one that gives 114 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,096 you an idea what was we're dealing with. 115 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,599 Yesterday trump supporter and former lehigh county 116 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,836 commissioner in pennsylvania, a guy named dean browning, 117 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,872 tweeted, I'm a black gay guy and I could personally say that 118 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:17,943 obama did nothing for me, my life only changed a little bit. 119 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,812 I want to stop there. If you look at his profile 120 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,215 picture, yeah, seems like his life changed a lot. 121 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,717 [ laughter ] he's transformed into a straight 122 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:30,288 white man. So he posts this. 123 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:34,393 It seemed fairly clear he forgot to sign out of his real account 124 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:37,496 and into his fake account, the account he might use to comment 125 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:43,835 on his own posts, his gay black guy account, which we all have. 126 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,404 [ laughter ] but browning said, no, no, no, 127 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:49,007 that wasn't it. He claimed he was quoting a 128 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:56,181 direct message that was sent to him by one of his follower, dan 129 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,050 purdy. Dan purdy coincidentally 130 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:04,189 responds to a lot of dean browning's tweets, 131 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,824 coincidentally. Then, stick with me, this is one 132 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,926 of the dumbest twilight zones ever. 133 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:12,931 Dan purdy posted this video backing browning's story. 134 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,734 >> hey, guys. My name is dan purdy. 135 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:21,273 And I am indeed a gay black man. The message that you saw on 136 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:25,043 dean's twitter was posted -- I don't actually know how it was 137 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,447 posted but I did send it to him because I had a problem with how 138 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:33,351 people of my race and sexual persuasion are treating donald 139 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,720 trump. So what's the big deal? 140 00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:39,658 I sent that message to dean. Dean accidentally posted it 141 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,960 somehow. And that's the end of the story. 142 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,795 >> jimmy: Right. That would be the end of the 143 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,364 story. Except for that person's name is 144 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,633 not dan purdy. In fact, there doesn't seem to 145 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:52,237 be a dan purdy. That man has been identified as 146 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,807 bill holty, who is believed to be the nephew of patti labelle, 147 00:07:55,843 --> 00:08:00,245 of all things. [ laughter ] 148 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,149 this is like the time "la la land" pretended to be 149 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,418 "moonlight." it's a mystery. 150 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,553 [ applause ] nice work, dean browning. 151 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:11,423 If trump pulls this out, maybe he'll let you run the cia. 152 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,024 [ laughter ] this is a crazy time in history. 153 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:17,796 And good luck trying to explain any of this to your kids. 154 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,533 Guillermo, does your son benji have any idea what's going on? 155 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,767 >> guillermo: No, he doesn't have no idea. 156 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,871 >> jimmy: It's hard to explain the events of the past four 157 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,974 years to your kids so we came up with a way to do it. 158 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,910 We took audio coverage and paired it with an episode of 159 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,280 "paw patrol." this is what happens when ryder 160 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:39,784 and his teal of pups meet the big bad wolf blitzer. 161 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,887 >> I'm wolf blitzer in the cnn election center. 162 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,021 We're minutes away from the first results. 163 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,790 Let's go to john king. >> what we're waiting for most 164 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,293 is the city of philadelphia, joe biden getting 80% of the vote, 165 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,362 and they still have votes to count. 166 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:57,769 >> we can now project the winner of the presidential race. 167 00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:01,740 Joseph r. Biden jr. Is elected president of the united states. 168 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,975 Denying president trump a second term. 169 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:07,812 >> but while I may be the first woman in this office, I will not 170 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:11,616 be the last. >> I will totally accept the 171 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:18,089 results of this presidential election if I win. 172 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:22,661 If you count the legal votes, we did win this election. 173 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:28,967 >> lie after lie after lie. That was a hot mess inside a 174 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,303 dumpster fire inside a train wreck. 175 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:37,442 >> this is an embarrassment to our country. 176 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:43,648 >> jimmy: Floating away in his own hot air, wouldn't that an 177 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,350 poetic ending? There's a major disturbance at 178 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,920 the cma awards, a number of the nominees had to stay home 179 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,590 because they tested positive for covid. 180 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:57,028 Lee brice, members of lady a, florida georgia line, rascal 181 00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,966 flatts are in quarantine. Some of them had to cancel. 182 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,469 Usually when this many people get sick in tennessee it means 183 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,037 they undercooked the squirrel. [ laughter ] 184 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:11,576 but this covid-19 -- you know, chris stapleton was able to play 185 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,312 the cmas tonight. He's going to be with us on our 186 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,982 show tomorrow night. With the virus spreading, we 187 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:21,286 couldn't wait to give you a preview of his new album. 188 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:24,255 He has two new albums. "starting over" on Friday. 189 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:30,328 And a holiday album too. >> in 2020, holiday cheer unless 190 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,997 short supply. Until now. 191 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:38,903 ♪ deck the halls with disinfect the halls until we get a cure 192 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:42,974 from pfizer ♪ >> it's chris stapleton in 193 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:48,913 quarantine. >> hi, I'm chris stapleton, and 194 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,317 this is "a very covid christmas." 195 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:56,488 >> all the holiday hits you love with a bleak 2020 twist. 196 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,357 ♪ oh cover your mouth hole I don't want your droplets ♪ 197 00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:07,565 ♪ just put on a mask over this santa bomb ♪ 198 00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:08,967 >> you can't spell christmas without chris. 199 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,804 >> that's my name. >> country music superstar chris 200 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:18,376 same stapleton as you've never heard before. 201 00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:23,948 ♪ oh clorox wipes my groceries disinfected ♪ 202 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:28,053 ♪ my vegetables all taste like bleach ♪ 203 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:33,525 >> let stapleton fill your hermetically sealed chamber with 204 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:38,730 festive covid hits. ♪ oh cdc oh cdc your website is 205 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:44,436 depressing ♪ >> plus "coughing around the 206 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,272 christmas tree." "it's beginning to look a lot 207 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:51,042 like pneumonia." "rudolph the red nosed reindeer 208 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:56,548 lost his taste of scent and smell." 209 00:11:56,583 --> 00:12:00,218 ♪ I can't smell I can't smell my scent has gone away ♪ 210 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,387 >> and many, many more. >> no, that's actually it. 211 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:08,993 >> well, it's still a lot. 'tis the "sneezing" for chris 212 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:13,098 stapleton's "a very covid christmas." 213 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:16,334 ♪ grub hub pickup at applebee's ♪ 214 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:21,139 >> available on six sanitized disks for three easy payments of 215 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,809 $9.99. Order now and receive chris 216 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,745 stapleton's "hanukkah" absolutely free. 217 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,548 ♪ eating alone in my jeans >> available at walgreens. 218 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,016 [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: Thank you, chris. 219 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:38,890 You know, watching the cmas, it reminds me of when I was a young 220 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,458 boy. Do you mind handing me my 221 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,559 guitar? Thank you very much. 222 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,495 I've been playing the guitar, guillermo. 223 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:47,799 >> guillermo: You have? >> jimmy: Yeah, why is that 224 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,200 funny? [ laughter ] 225 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,236 you haven't known me my whole life. 226 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,072 But when I was young, when I was a teenager, everyone, people 227 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,874 would look at me and say, you should be a model. 228 00:12:55,909 --> 00:13:00,678 You should be a movie star. But what I really wanted to do 229 00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:05,450 was sing country western music. But then I heard a song, and it 230 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,587 changed the course of my life. And I decided to take another 231 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:13,424 path, a path that led here. Maybe you know this song. 232 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,560 And if you do, feel free to sing along. 233 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:21,499 Here we go. ♪ 234 00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:28,173 ♪ mamas don't let your babies grow up to the cowboys ♪ 235 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:33,378 ♪ don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks ♪ 236 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:38,149 ♪ let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such ♪ 237 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:44,489 ♪ mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys ♪ 238 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:48,827 ♪ cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone ♪ 239 00:13:48,862 --> 00:14:01,206 ♪ even with someone they love ♪ 240 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:07,378 ♪ [ cheers and applause ] 241 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,881 >> jimmy: Sorry, I've only been playing a few months. 242 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:17,021 Picked it up in quarantine. ♪ 243 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:32,170 [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: Stop, stop, no. 244 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,439 That's too much. Thank you. 245 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:39,244 Oh, you did stop, okay. All right. 246 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,146 Thank you. We've got a good show for you 247 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,649 tonight. From cnn, john king is with us. 248 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:49,988 We have music from maren morris. And we'll be right back with dr. 249 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,189 Phil! >> jimmy: Welcome back. 250 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,270 Tonight from cnn, the man with the magic wall, john king, will 251 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,905 be with us. [ cheers and applause ] 252 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,341 I have a plan for tonight. I'm going to force him to call 253 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,509 arizona. [ laughter ] 254 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:15,079 and then you saw her earlier tonight on the cma awards. 255 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:20,051 This is her album "girl." music from maren morris from the 256 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,488 ryman auditorium in nashville, tennessee, a great venue. 257 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:30,595 If you'd like to help join maren and kroin royal, saving 258 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:36,234 america's favorite bars, clubs, and stages, 259 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:40,338 americanalliance.Com. Our guests tomorrow, ellen 260 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,440 pompeo and chris stapleton will join us. 261 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:47,011 When a divine herd of lawsuit-happy cattle led our 262 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:50,214 first guest to oprah in 1996, few could have imagined one day 263 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:54,585 he would become america's shiny-headed beacon of mental 264 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,954 health. He is back to work on season 19 265 00:15:55,989 --> 00:16:03,628 of his syndicated show. Please welcome dr. Phil mcgraw! 266 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:14,973 [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 267 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,208 >> jimmy: Thank you for making a house call here tonight. 268 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:20,411 >> hey, listen. Glad to be here. 269 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:21,279 Glad to see somebody. >> jimmy: Yeah. 270 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,115 How are you doing? Everything all right? 271 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,350 >> I'm doing all right, how about yourself? 272 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:28,753 >> jimmy: I'm doing well. Last time I saw you was right at 273 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,122 the about inning of all the craziness. 274 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,591 It was literally the weekend that everything closed down. 275 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,828 >> that's right. I think it was the last day of 276 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,731 production of shooting "who wants to be a millionaire?" 277 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,801 >> jimmy: Right, you were a contestant, and I was hosting 278 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,803 the show. You were the most thoughtful 279 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:49,774 contestant we've had on all -- by thoughtful, I mean the 280 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:54,045 slowest contestant we've had. [ laughter ] 281 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,448 that episode look one month to shoot. 282 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,350 >> I don't know why I come here. [ laughter ] 283 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,352 >> jimmy: I don't know either. I tell you, it's become -- 284 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:06,124 [ applause ] >> I'm driving over here and I'm 285 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,393 thinking, why do I keep doing this [ bleep ]? 286 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,761 [ laughter ] seriously. 287 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:13,731 I feel like I'm in a "peanuts" cartoon getting ready to yank 288 00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,334 the football away. It happens every time. 289 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:20,038 He calls, he says, come on over, we'll have a good time! 290 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,172 Yeah. >> jimmy: I don't know if you 291 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,275 know this, but it's become like a saying on the show. 292 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:28,179 We're like, oh my god, yeah, the guy really pulled a dr. Phil, it 293 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,414 took forever. [ laughter ] 294 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,817 I was starting to think maybe you didn't want to go home, is 295 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,552 everything okay? >> yeah, and what's more, I 296 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:37,855 barely broke even, by the way. >> jimmy: That's right, you did, 297 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:38,790 yeah. I think -- 298 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,358 >> my son came to watch. >> jimmy: Oh. 299 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,227 >> and one of your pas in the parking lot, because there's no 300 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,998 parking out there, he's helping park the car. 301 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:51,402 He's like, come on back, come on back -- till he hits a pole. 302 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:55,506 Then he goes, stop. The guy's got one job! 303 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:59,610 Got one job. And he takes it in to get it 304 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,079 fixed. $76,000. 305 00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,181 >> jimmy: What? >> to fix the car. 306 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,816 >> jimmy: Did he kill the pa? [ laughter ] 307 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,785 why did it cost $76,000? >> I thought about killing the 308 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,353 pa. No, he hit one of those sensors 309 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:13,024 in the bumper which is apparently wired into the -- 310 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,093 you've got to pull the engine to fix the little sensor. 311 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:19,497 >> jimmy: Hold on a minute. What kind of car is this? 312 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,466 A space shuttle? >> it was an expensive car, I'll 313 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,501 admit that. But my son had the good sense to 314 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,037 say, you know what? I'll just live with one less 315 00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:29,507 sensor, screw you, and left. >> jimmy: Sounds like your son 316 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,478 has a lot of "common sensor." >> which is why you don't have a 317 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,947 claim against you for $76,000. >> jimmy: Thank you. 318 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,382 Thank you for not suing us, dr. Phil. 319 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,750 [ laughter ] okay, so -- 320 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,819 >> it was a lot of fun, by the way. 321 00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,454 >> jimmy: We did have a lot of fun. 322 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,655 You did not listen to your expert at all. 323 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:47,024 You brought an expert and you barely consulted with her. 324 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,827 >> gave me the wrong information, if you remember. 325 00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,229 >> jimmy: Oh, yeah, right, she did. 326 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,330 >> remember? >> jimmy: One time. 327 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:55,032 >> wrong information. I said, what the hell, what are 328 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,033 you talking about? >> jimmy: Well, you picked her. 329 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:58,603 [ laughter ] >> yeah, well. 330 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,738 >> jimmy: Dr. Phil, can I ask you a couple of things? 331 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,374 First of all, I know this has been a tough week for you. 332 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:06,711 You're a big kanye guy. There was talk you may join his 333 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,213 administration. [ laughter ] 334 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,317 and I want to put that aside. >> well, he was the first to 335 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,552 concede. >> jimmy: He was. 336 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:18,623 He's the only one to concede. Do you think that if you picked 337 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,159 up the phone, you could call president trump and he would 338 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:24,328 take the phone call? >> yeah. 339 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,596 >> jimmy: He would? >> I think so. 340 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,364 >> jimmy: Will you call president trump? 341 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,000 [ laughter ] >> no. 342 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,735 >> jimmy: Because we -- this is where -- 343 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,537 >> no, this is hard enough. [ laughter ] 344 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,106 >> jimmy: This is your -- if anyone could do this, it's you. 345 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:39,644 This is your time to shine. [ cheers and applause ] 346 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,748 I think he would listen to you. >> yeah. 347 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,652 >> jimmy: What would you say to him if you got him on the phone? 348 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:52,156 Congratulations? [ laughter ] 349 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:57,228 >> whatever I would say would be reported way differently than 350 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,362 whatever I said. >> jimmy: That is true. 351 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,832 >> you can bet on that. >> jimmy: Yeah, I'm sure, yeah. 352 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,701 >> so -- no. I don't think I want to chat 353 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:07,939 with him right now. [ laughter ] 354 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:08,673 of course, he's firing everybody he sees. 355 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,675 So -- >> jimmy: That's true. 356 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:18,849 >> a lot of people are concerned that he's packing himself with 357 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,251 lawyers or something, I don't know. 358 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,485 >> jimmy: A lot of people are concerned. 359 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,554 That's why I'm asking you to pick up the telephone and call. 360 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:24,822 [ laughter ] >> yeah. 361 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,058 >> jimmy: You will not call him, you will not help us through 362 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,460 this. Is there a medical term for what 363 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,162 it seems like he's experiencing right now? 364 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:35,099 >> well, I think he's a little upset. 365 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,901 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Oh, that's it? 366 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,337 You really know how to boil it down. 367 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,405 >> I think so. >> jimmy: Make it accessible for 368 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,441 all of us. >> yeah, I think he's a little 369 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,709 frustrated right now. >> jimmy: Yeah. 370 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,711 >> everybody sees the world -- we don't respond to what happens 371 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:51,282 in the world, we respond to our perception of what happens in 372 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,683 the world. >> jimmy: True. 373 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,485 >> you know, really. And his perception of the world 374 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,686 I think is different than others. 375 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,755 >> jimmy: It seems like he thinks the world has been unfair 376 00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:02,293 to him, even though by every measure, it has been more than 377 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:07,999 fair to him. >> well -- there's certain 378 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:12,103 things that get down to just simple math, right? 379 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:17,708 And math is math. And you read some of the court 380 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,176 proceedings today. I've been reading some of those 381 00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:20,311 things. I don't understand. 382 00:21:20,346 --> 00:21:25,449 I spent most of my professional career in litigation. 383 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:26,684 I don't understand. I always thought when you went 384 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:32,023 to court you had to have a cause of action. 385 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:33,691 You had to have a complaint. >> jimmy: Uh-huh. 386 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,227 >> you had to have standing. >> jimmy: Yeah. 387 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,329 >> and I didn't understand that complaint. 388 00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:40,765 >> jimmy: Yeah. If joe biden asks you to be the 389 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,433 surgeon general, would you consider that post? 390 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,869 >> no. >> jimmy: You would not? 391 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,003 >> no. >> jimmy: Interesting. 392 00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:47,738 You're not willing to serve this country at all, are you? 393 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,875 [ laughter ] >> I feel -- I feel like I'm 394 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:55,713 doing my part right now. >> jimmy: You are, you are. 395 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,614 Let's take a break. Dr. Phil is with us, we'll be 396 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,416 right back. >> dicky: Portions of "jimmy 397 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:02,486 kimmel live" are brought to you by the samsung galaxy watch3. 398 00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,021 Manage your life in style. To learn more, visit 399 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:05,523 samsung.Com. [ cheers and applause ] 400 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:17,835 ♪ >> jimmy: We are back with dr. 401 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,172 Phil. You're back doing your show. 402 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:23,107 You don't have a studio audience. 403 00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:27,211 You do have guests in studio. >> well, I have robin in the 404 00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:29,013 audience. She's been there for every show, 405 00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:30,114 and she's there, she's coming every day. 406 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,849 >> jimmy: Right. >> the rest of them are virtual. 407 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:35,486 And we're piping them in from all over the world. 408 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,289 And you know, it's great to have them there, but it's different. 409 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:39,857 They're behind me. I can't see them. 410 00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:45,896 I use the audience as a barometer to kind of know if 411 00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:48,199 I've made my point or not. >> jimmy: Right. 412 00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,967 >> if they're getting it, you move on. 413 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,603 If they're looking at you like dead trout, you know you need to 414 00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:56,307 work a little further, you know? So it's hard, you don't have 415 00:22:56,342 --> 00:22:57,508 that feedback. >> jimmy: Right. 416 00:22:57,543 --> 00:23:02,146 And as far as like the people who are on your show, did you 417 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:04,882 call them guests? What do you call them, exactly? 418 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:05,516 Subjects? Patients? 419 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:11,956 [ laughter ] what are they? 420 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:12,556 >> winners. >> jimmy: Winners, okay. 421 00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:16,394 [ laughter ] [ applause ] 422 00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,329 >> jimmy: So the winners -- by the way, you know I like to 423 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:21,165 always look through the schedule on what you got coming up. 424 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,167 >> oh, here we go. [ laughter ] 425 00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:28,706 >> jimmy: Tomorrow's show of winners is "help, my handicapped 426 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,442 husband treats me like a slave." and on Friday, "my dad believes 427 00:23:31,477 --> 00:23:35,646 he's married to a woman named maria he's never met." 428 00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:38,582 [ laughter ] >> that's true. 429 00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:41,152 And maria's taken him for a lot of money. 430 00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:42,820 >> jimmy: Do you believe in maria? 431 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:43,821 >> I don't believe maria's quite real. 432 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:46,924 >> jimmy: Uh-huh. >> and in fact, we found the 433 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:53,764 woman behind the picture maria, she lives in stockholm, sweden. 434 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,133 >> jimmy: Wow, really? A swede is duping us? 435 00:23:56,169 --> 00:24:00,204 >> no, no, she just had her picture stolen. 436 00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:01,305 >> jimmy: I see. >> somebody's using it. 437 00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,340 I usually get through to these people pretty well. 438 00:24:03,376 --> 00:24:07,278 Until I brought her out for him to see the real maria, who 439 00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:12,516 actually is a twin, so I brought two of them out and he was like, 440 00:24:12,552 --> 00:24:16,287 whoa! He never -- he still didn't 441 00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:17,221 believe it. >> jimmy: You hit him with the 442 00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,322 double maria? [ laughter ] 443 00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:22,593 >> the double maria. >> jimmy: Only dr. Phil can do 444 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,395 that. >> honest to god he was like, I 445 00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:28,899 get that you're not her -- but would you like to go out? 446 00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,034 [ laughter ] trying to salvage something. 447 00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:32,403 >> jimmy: Yeah, why not, what the hell at that point. 448 00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:34,171 Wouldn't that be some love story? 449 00:24:34,207 --> 00:24:38,809 We met on "the dr. Phil show." has anyone met on your show, 450 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,045 fallen in love, gone on to be married? 451 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,714 >> I'm sure. We've had 15,000, 20,000 guests. 452 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:45,282 >> jimmy: Yeah, I bet them haven't. 453 00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:46,450 [ laughter ] >> yeah, probably not. 454 00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:49,386 >> jimmy: Dr. Phil, you know what's weird is they were 455 00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:54,725 saying -- your 70th birthday was in September. 456 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,294 And you were here right at your 60th birthday. 457 00:24:57,330 --> 00:25:00,831 That's how long this has been happening. 458 00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:04,134 >> this has been going on -- I'm a slow lerner. 459 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:05,402 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Which birthday was 460 00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:07,404 better, 60 or 70? >> we had a lot of fun. 461 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,840 Then, you could get together. Here, I think I got a pair of 462 00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:13,944 socks or something. 70, much recess legal. 463 00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:15,379 >> jimmy: Seal performed at your 60th birthday. 464 00:25:15,414 --> 00:25:17,982 >> I think that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: You had nothing for 465 00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:19,850 this birthday? You watch a video of seal on 466 00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,085 youtube? What did you do? 467 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,488 >> no, I just kind of like -- >> jimmy: You sat there quietly? 468 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:27,491 >> things are different now. People are really -- this 469 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:30,327 togetherness for me has been great because I'm kind of a 470 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:32,663 homebody as you know. I don't get out a lot. 471 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:37,635 But I think for a lot of people, this has been a really tough 472 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:38,536 time. >> jimmy: It has, yes, for a lot 473 00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:41,872 of people. Especially outgoing people who 474 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,874 really need to be around others. >> yeah. 475 00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:45,609 >> jimmy: Do you think that we are going to be able to -- like 476 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:49,213 when we get the vaccine, hopefully, and things calm down, 477 00:25:49,248 --> 00:25:52,316 do you think we're going to be able to ever go back to the way 478 00:25:52,351 --> 00:25:54,718 things were? >> no. 479 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,820 >> jimmy: No? In what ways won't we be able to 480 00:25:56,856 --> 00:25:57,922 adapt? >> I think people are going to 481 00:25:57,957 --> 00:26:01,292 be pretty intimidated. I can't imagine people rushing 482 00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:04,895 out to a movie theater and sitting in a closed room 483 00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:07,932 breathing in everyone else's air. 484 00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:09,099 In the near term. Can you? 485 00:26:09,135 --> 00:26:11,302 Would you I do go sit in the middle of a movie theater? 486 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:14,405 >> jimmy: Not in the near term, but I could see it happening in 487 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,372 a year. >> yeah? 488 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,909 Maybe in a year. Depends on how the vaccine is 489 00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:22,046 perceived and do people take it? And I think, you know, there's 490 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:29,653 been a spike in depression. There's been a spike in divorce. 491 00:26:29,689 --> 00:26:32,957 There's been a lull in people going and getting medical 492 00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:35,125 examinations and medical treatments which means there's 493 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:39,964 going to be problem with disease. 494 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:41,165 Kids out of school is creating a problem. 495 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,068 There's all kinds of issues that aren't going to really be 496 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,769 quantifiable for another year, two, five, ten. 497 00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:49,974 I mean, this is a long-term impact of being in quarantine 498 00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:51,075 this long. >> jimmy: Well, you've really 499 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:53,877 painted an optimistic picture of the future dr. Phil. 500 00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:55,112 [ laughter ] >> I know. 501 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:58,949 But we can come back from it. I have a lot of people asking me 502 00:26:58,985 --> 00:27:01,685 about it. I'm really frustrated with my 503 00:27:01,721 --> 00:27:06,056 partner, you know, and I kind of give them all one piece of 504 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:07,858 advice. Before you judge, remember, you 505 00:27:07,893 --> 00:27:08,459 too are probably a piece of [ bleep ]. 506 00:27:08,494 --> 00:27:18,068 [ laughter ] [ applause ] 507 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:23,974 getrbarings before you jump and realize who you are -- 508 00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,009 >> jimmy: Please call donald trump, please. 509 00:27:25,044 --> 00:27:29,113 Dr. Phil, everybody. We'll be back with john king 510 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:32,082 from cnn! >>> next week on "jimmy kimmel 511 00:27:42,795 --> 00:28:00,611 live" -- >> jimmy: Welcome back to the 512 00:28:00,646 --> 00:28:02,713 show. Music from maren morris on the 513 00:28:02,748 --> 00:28:04,548 way. Not since the heyday of a little 514 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:09,019 alien named e.T. Has an index finger guided us through an 515 00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,587 emotional journey like our next guest. 516 00:28:10,623 --> 00:28:14,825 He is the maestro of the magic wall on cnn, host of "inside 517 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:21,331 politics" six days a week too. Please welcome the "chart-throb" 518 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,033 himself, john king. Hi, john. 519 00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:26,470 >> good to see you, jimmy, how are you? 520 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:27,304 >> jimmy: I love -- are you chained to that wall? 521 00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:28,472 Why are you at the wall? [ laughter ] 522 00:28:28,507 --> 00:28:32,409 >> the bastards put super glue on the floor, I'm stuck. 523 00:28:32,445 --> 00:28:34,878 >> jimmy: It's kind of comforting to see you there. 524 00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:39,950 It's like being han solo in front of the "millennium falcon" 525 00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:41,785 or something. >> I'll take that. 526 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,020 >> jimmy: How are you doing? >> doing all right. 527 00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:47,091 An exciting, somewhat exhausting, exhilarating week. 528 00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:49,993 You think you have election week in america, it's normally 529 00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:53,163 election night. You think election week and 530 00:28:53,199 --> 00:28:56,300 you'll be done. As you noted last night, there's 531 00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:59,236 the crazy guy on the subway platform who's not very good at 532 00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:02,005 math and there we go. >> jimmy: You're very good at 533 00:29:02,041 --> 00:29:04,942 math. Is it daunting to do math on 534 00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:07,611 live television? >> I went to six years of 535 00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:10,481 catholic school and I always thought the nuns were driving me 536 00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,683 crazy, now I owe them a great debt of gratitude. 537 00:29:12,718 --> 00:29:14,551 You didn'ts. At the time it might help you 538 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:15,619 someday. >> jimmy: You feel the sting of 539 00:29:15,654 --> 00:29:17,988 that ruler, suddenly you know how to add everything. 540 00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:21,058 Are there counties you will miss after this is done? 541 00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:24,528 Are there areas of the country that you've grown fond of 542 00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:28,132 pointing at them for like eight days in a row now? 543 00:29:28,167 --> 00:29:30,734 >> we can both joke about this and be serious about it at the 544 00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:32,136 same time, because this is the gift. 545 00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:33,570 This is my ninth presidential election. 546 00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:34,671 My early ones I traveled all the time. 547 00:29:34,707 --> 00:29:37,808 I've been to most of these places and I love them. 548 00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:41,378 But I'm a map geek because of this. 549 00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:45,616 And like viggo county, indiana. I'll pop it up for you here. 550 00:29:45,651 --> 00:29:50,687 All the way back to 1956, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] 551 00:29:50,723 --> 00:29:53,757 they have picked the presidential winner, the streak 552 00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:56,527 is over. Donald trump carried vigo county 553 00:29:56,562 --> 00:29:58,762 this year. So they gain something else for 554 00:29:58,798 --> 00:30:01,865 fame now. The pence vice presidential 555 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:04,568 library, maybe, will go there. [ laughter ] 556 00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:06,537 >> jimmy: Just what trump needs to hear. 557 00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:13,677 If trump finds out he won in vigo county, we're never going 558 00:30:13,712 --> 00:30:15,445 to get him out of the white house. 559 00:30:15,481 --> 00:30:17,681 Is the magic wall really magic? >> yes. 560 00:30:17,716 --> 00:30:19,183 How can I say -- that would blow up everything. 561 00:30:19,218 --> 00:30:21,585 >> jimmy: I always feel like you're the only one there who 562 00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:25,789 knows how to work the wall. For me, I'm the only one at home 563 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:28,091 that can get the television on, so I'm valuable. 564 00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:30,828 They keep me around forever. [ laughter ] 565 00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:32,396 you seem to have mastered that wall. 566 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:35,399 Do you practice? Do you dream about it at night? 567 00:30:35,434 --> 00:30:38,602 >> sometimes. Truth. 568 00:30:38,637 --> 00:30:41,672 [ laughter ] fact check, mostly true. 569 00:30:41,707 --> 00:30:44,107 Look, we unveiled this technology in 2008, and we've 570 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:47,544 updated every cycle since. I think it's become -- you know, 571 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:50,881 to the flattery I received on social media and elsewhere, I'm 572 00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:52,082 grateful for that, don't get me wrong. 573 00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:58,021 But I think a lot of it is for people in a high-anxiety 574 00:30:58,057 --> 00:30:59,623 election, this is a comfortable pair of slippers. 575 00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,058 They're used to it, they trust it, I trust it. 576 00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:03,227 It's a great tool. I learn a ton. 577 00:31:03,262 --> 00:31:04,428 I've done this, ninth presidential election. 578 00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:06,964 Every night on election night when there's live data flying 579 00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:10,968 in, red one second, it turns blue, I'm meeting america right 580 00:31:11,003 --> 00:31:11,935 here. >> jimmy: I didn't realize how 581 00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:12,769 much you loved that wall until just now. 582 00:31:12,805 --> 00:31:15,806 [ laughter ] you really love that wall. 583 00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:18,575 >> I have issues, yeah. >> jimmy: I remember when you 584 00:31:18,611 --> 00:31:21,545 debuted the magic wall. I remember making a lot of fun 585 00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:25,082 of the magic wall. And having a real good time with 586 00:31:25,117 --> 00:31:28,085 the wall. And now, yeah, you're right, the 587 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,188 wall has become like somehow the window to the election. 588 00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:34,725 And the way you handled it, I have to say, I think you did a 589 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:35,525 great job throughout the whole thing. 590 00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:36,660 >> thank you. >> jimmy: You were -- 591 00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:42,032 [ cheers and applause ] I think you were aware of what 592 00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:44,768 we, the viewers, were going through. 593 00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:47,170 And you tortured us so gently. [ laughter ] 594 00:31:47,206 --> 00:31:50,140 just releasing these little bits of information. 595 00:31:50,175 --> 00:31:51,642 The way you were talking, remember? 596 00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:55,445 These results are here. You spoke very succinctly, you 597 00:31:55,481 --> 00:31:58,415 spoke very calmingly. It was like you were calming a 598 00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:02,019 horse in a lightning storm. [ laughter ] 599 00:32:02,054 --> 00:32:03,687 >> I like the analogy. Look, this was the most 600 00:32:03,722 --> 00:32:06,490 difficult election ever. Because of the different rules. 601 00:32:06,525 --> 00:32:08,091 Because of the pandemic. Right? 602 00:32:08,127 --> 00:32:10,327 Some people voted by mail. Lots of people did. 603 00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:12,396 Some people stood in line and voted early. 604 00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:13,997 Other people showed up on election day. 605 00:32:14,033 --> 00:32:15,899 What you were seeing, it's not a mirage. 606 00:32:15,935 --> 00:32:20,070 People talk about a red mirage or a blue mirage. 607 00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:24,007 It's not a mirage, it was real, but it wasn't contextual. 608 00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:25,108 Some states, election ballots coming in first. 609 00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:30,881 Other states, mail-in. I had to tell them, calm down, 610 00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:33,850 we're waiting for votes. That was both fun for me, but I 611 00:32:33,886 --> 00:32:36,787 got in trouble for saying it was fun, just because this thing 612 00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:40,824 teaches me a lot and I want to tell people, calm down, early 613 00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:42,059 innings, you've got to wait till the end. 614 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:45,228 >> jimmy: When you're on air, are you aware that everyone is 615 00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:47,564 posting about you nonstop, all the time? 616 00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:50,000 >> no. I don't get to see much of it on 617 00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:53,070 live television, obviously. Occasionally I'll get a text 618 00:32:53,105 --> 00:32:55,605 from one of my siblings abusing me. 619 00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:56,840 [ laughter ] that's when I know there's 620 00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:58,075 something going on, on the internet. 621 00:32:58,110 --> 00:33:01,812 The first night I got home 3:30 Wednesday morning, get two 622 00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:05,115 hours' sleep, come right back. But I was responding to emails 623 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:09,286 and sending out emails with questions in the battleground 624 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:11,722 states that hadn't been called. I could see some of it and I 625 00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:13,523 realized, number one, gas global. 626 00:33:13,559 --> 00:33:15,292 The interest in the election was global. 627 00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:18,095 The most gratifying thing was the interest of young people. 628 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:21,031 I have a tiktok fan cam, and I'm on jimmy kimmel in the same 629 00:33:21,066 --> 00:33:22,299 week. [ cheers and applause ] 630 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:27,037 my 9-year-old is going to think I'm cool, for about 40 seconds. 631 00:33:27,072 --> 00:33:31,975 >> jimmy: I always knew you'd have a tiktok fan club. 632 00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:33,777 >> I do. >> jimmy: Saturday cnn called 633 00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:36,046 the election for joe biden. Are you part of that decision? 634 00:33:36,081 --> 00:33:37,881 Who makes that decision? If not you? 635 00:33:37,916 --> 00:33:41,885 >> we have a great team of people on the decision desk. 636 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,720 They're our green eyeshade people. 637 00:33:43,756 --> 00:33:46,223 They're fantastic. They spend months studying the 638 00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:48,759 data, preparing the statistics. I'm not part of it. 639 00:33:48,794 --> 00:33:53,096 I used to do that in my old job before I switched to television. 640 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:56,500 On live television I do my thing, they're doing theirs. 641 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,969 I trust them. I knew Saturday morning we were 642 00:33:59,004 --> 00:34:01,138 getting close. Then we had some results come in 643 00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:04,274 from philadelphia and the city. I'm doing my thing and they say, 644 00:34:04,309 --> 00:34:06,543 keep going. I'm like, okay, I keep going. 645 00:34:06,578 --> 00:34:10,714 They say, wolf, wolf, wolf! I turn to wolf, and there it 646 00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:13,350 was, the magic wolf blitzer. >> jimmy: Wolf gets to make the 647 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:15,252 call. You're not allowed to jump in 648 00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:20,857 and make the call before wolf? >> no, that would be like a 649 00:34:20,893 --> 00:34:21,758 mutiny. [ laughter ] 650 00:34:21,794 --> 00:34:22,926 >> jimmy: Exactly. >> they frown on that. 651 00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:24,661 >> jimmy: And are you and wolf privately, like during 652 00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:29,066 commercial breaks, going, when are they going to make this call 653 00:34:29,101 --> 00:34:31,034 already! We want to go home! 654 00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:32,569 >> if you're watching you could see some of that. 655 00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:37,140 I would say, I know you're frustrated, we're frustrated 656 00:34:37,176 --> 00:34:38,141 too. I was not lying, that was not 657 00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:40,510 fake news, that was coming right at you. 658 00:34:40,546 --> 00:34:44,214 Let's do this. But for a serious point, we have 659 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:45,449 a great team. When I first came to cnn, wolf 660 00:34:45,484 --> 00:34:48,685 was the senior white house correspondent, I was the new 661 00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:50,120 guy. Being in this room with wolf was 662 00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:51,621 actually a hoot, it was a lot of fun. 663 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:53,924 >> jimmy: I don't know if you know this, wolf looks exactly 664 00:34:53,959 --> 00:34:55,659 like my father. [ laughter ] 665 00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:56,993 literally, for me it's like watching my father call the 666 00:34:57,029 --> 00:35:00,397 election. [ laughter ] 667 00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,498 anyway, I think you did a great job. 668 00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:08,038 I enjoyed watching you. Thanks for drawing it out so 669 00:35:08,073 --> 00:35:10,474 politely and calmly. And I think you guys did a 670 00:35:10,509 --> 00:35:13,043 terrific job. Now go get some sleep, and maybe 671 00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:16,213 spend a week or so pointing at a cocktail menu or something on 672 00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:17,314 the beach somewhere. [ cheers and applause ] 673 00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,317 >> I like that idea. >> jimmy: John king, everybody. 674 00:35:20,352 --> 00:35:24,154 "inside politics" weekdays at noon, sundays at 8:00 only on 675 00:35:24,189 --> 00:35:25,355 cnn. Thanks, john. 676 00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:28,125 Be right back with maren morris! [ cheers and applause ] 677 00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:35,465 ♪ >> dicky: Music on 678 00:35:35,501 --> 00:35:37,601 "jimmy kimmel live" is presented by crown royal, who is helping 679 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:41,471 support bars, clubs and stages in danger of being lost forever. 680 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:45,609 Visit mainstreetalliance.Org to learn more. 681 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,210 [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: Thanks to dr. Phil, 682 00:35:47,246 --> 00:35:49,846 thanks to john king. Apologies to matt damon. 683 00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:51,081 "nightline" is next, but first, her album is called "girl." 684 00:35:51,116 --> 00:35:53,884 from the mother church in nashville, with the song, 685 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:58,555 "to hell & back," maren morris! [ cheers and applause ] 686 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:08,665 ♪ ♪ 687 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:14,271 ♪ smoke was coming off my jacket and ♪ 688 00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:17,307 ♪ you didn't seem to mind I left a long trail ♪ 689 00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:19,409 ♪ of ashes and you said "I like your style" ♪ 690 00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:27,484 ♪ now heartbreak ain't ♪ a competition but I took it in 691 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:29,819 a landslide ♪ ♪ the skeletons I wanted to bury 692 00:36:29,855 --> 00:36:34,724 you liked out in the light ♪ ♪ you didn't save me you didn't 693 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,761 think ♪ ♪ I needed saving you didn't 694 00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:41,598 change me ♪ ♪ you didn't think I needed 695 00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:48,438 changing ♪ ♪ my wings are frayed and what's 696 00:36:48,473 --> 00:36:53,677 left of ♪ ♪ my halo's black lucky for me 697 00:36:53,712 --> 00:37:00,550 ♪ your kind of heaven's been to hell and back ♪ 698 00:37:00,586 --> 00:37:06,323 ♪ to hell and back ♪ 699 00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:10,527 ♪ I wonder how you treasure what anyone would call a flaw ♪ 700 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:14,631 ♪ you say a pearl without the pressure ♪ 701 00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:19,936 ♪ wouldn't be a pearl at all when my demons ♪ 702 00:37:19,972 --> 00:37:24,808 ♪ come a-callin' you don't even bat an eye ♪ 703 00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:28,645 ♪ I don't scare you and I guess that's why ♪ 704 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,916 ♪ you didn't save me you didn't think ♪ 705 00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:35,118 ♪ I needed saving you didn't change me ♪ 706 00:37:35,153 --> 00:37:43,226 ♪ you didn't think I needed changing ♪ 707 00:37:43,262 --> 00:37:46,296 ♪ my wings are frayed and what's left of ♪ 708 00:37:46,331 --> 00:37:51,268 ♪ my halo's black lucky for me ♪ your kind of heaven's been to 709 00:37:51,303 --> 00:37:56,706 hell and back ♪ ♪ to hell and back 710 00:37:56,742 --> 00:38:13,923 ♪ ♪ smoke was coming off my jacket 711 00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:19,062 and I left a long trail of ashes ♪ 712 00:38:19,097 --> 00:38:23,900 ♪ you didn't save me you didn't think I needed saving ♪ 713 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:30,740 ♪ you didn't change me you didn't think I needed changing ♪ 714 00:38:30,776 --> 00:38:38,948 ♪ my wings are frayed and what's left of my halo's black ♪ 715 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:43,453 ♪ lucky for me your kind of heaven's ♪ 716 00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:44,754 ♪ been to hell and back lucky for me ♪ 717 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:55,131 ♪ your kind of heaven's been to hell and back ♪ 718 00:38:55,167 --> 00:39:03,573 ♪ to hell and back to hell and back ♪ 719 00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:13,416 ♪ to hell and back to hell and back ♪ 720 00:39:13,452 --> 00:39:30,600 ♪ ♪ 721 00:39:33,305 --> 00:39:43,380 ♪ woo woo hm hm ♪ 722 00:39:43,415 --> 00:39:55,625 ♪ woo woo hm hm hey hey ♪ 723 00:39:55,660 --> 00:40:09,139 ♪ woo woowoo ♪ 724 00:40:09,174 --> 00:41:00,556 ♪ ♪