1 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,241 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, 2 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,375 IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 3 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,910 TONIGHT, AMY ADAMS, JACK HUSTON, 4 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:12,346 AND MUSIC FROM JEWEL. 5 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:16,783 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 6 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:17,918 >> Jimmy: HELLO. 7 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,286 I'M JIMMY. 8 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,387 I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 9 00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,824 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 10 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:24,458 THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON WEEK 11 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,325 THREE OF OUR ELECTION NIGHT 12 00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:28,462 COVERAGE. 13 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,897 IT IS NOW DAY 20 OF 14 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,265 SQUATTERGATE. 15 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:31,899 AND WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE 16 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,100 PRESIDENT CONCEDE. 17 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,401 WE'VE BARELY EVEN SEEN THE 18 00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:35,269 PRESIDENT. 19 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:35,903 ON SATURDAY, THEY HAD A VIRTUAL 20 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,271 G‐20 SUMMIT WITH LEADERS FROM 21 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,640 19 OTHER COUNTRIES. 22 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,407 INSTEAD OF PARTICIPATING, TRUMP 23 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:43,010 WAS BUSY TWEETING. 24 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:43,544 THIRTEEN MINUTES INTO THE 25 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,378 SUMMIT, HE TOOK A BREAK TO 26 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,046 WRITE, "THE FAKE NEWS IS NOT 27 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,348 TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT 28 00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:48,882 'COVID,' IN QUOTES FOR NO 29 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,386 REASON, IS RUNNING WILD ALL OVER 30 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,220 THE WORLD, NOT JUST IN THE U. S. 31 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,355 I WAS AT THE VIRTUAL 32 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:55,989 G‐20 MEETING EARLY THIS MORNING 33 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:56,590 AND THE BIGGEST SUBJECT WAS 34 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,960 COVID." 35 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,394 YEAH, NO KIDDING. 36 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,297 SAYING COVID IS THE BIGGEST 37 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:03,830 TOPIC AT THE G‐20 IS LIKE 38 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:04,798 SAYING, "I WAS AT THE OSCARS, 39 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,935 AND THE BIG SUBJECT WAS MOVIES." 40 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:12,105 AND THEN, HE SKIPPED THE SESSION 41 00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:12,739 DEVOTED TO PANDEMIC RESPONSE TO 42 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:16,376 PLAY GOLF AGAIN. 43 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,312 THERE'S THE CARAVAN OF CARTS. 44 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,246 AND THERE HE IS, AIN'T‐DOIN', 45 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,280 JACK NICKLAUS. 46 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,251 AS GRACEFUL AS A DUMPTRUCK. 47 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:24,885 HE GOLFED ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY 48 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,687 THIS WEEKEND. 49 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:30,290 I'VE NEVER SEEN A GUY TRY SO 50 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:30,891 HARD TO KEEP A JOB HE DOESN'T 51 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,426 EVEN DO. 52 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,728 THIS IS HIS SCHEDULE TODAY. 53 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,064 NO PUBLIC EVENTS AGAIN. 54 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:40,434 JUST SOME EATING AND PRIVATE 55 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,101 SCREAMING INTO A MYPILLOW. 56 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,371 ON FRIDAY, HE DID DO SOMETHING. 57 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,606 HE ATTEMPTED TO PERSONALLY 58 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,375 INTERFERE IN THE ELECTION. 59 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,111 HE INVITED THE SENATE MAJORITY 60 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:51,745 LEADER AND SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE 61 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:52,379 FOR THE STATE OF MICHIGAN TO THE 62 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,481 WHITE HOUSE. 63 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:55,248 FOR SOME BIGLY BUTTERING UP. 64 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,584 THAT DIDN'T WORK, BECAUSE TODAY, 65 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,218 THE MICHIGAN BOARD OF CANVASSERS 66 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,454 CERTIFIED THE RESULTS, 67 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,457 OFFICIALLY DECLARING JOE BIDEN 68 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,391 THE WINNER. 69 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,260 TRUMP HAD ANOTHER BIG LOSS IN 70 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:07,661 PENNSYLVANIA TOO. 71 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,029 TRUMP'S SO‐CALLED "ELITE STRIKE 72 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,832 FORCE" OF LAWYERS HAS BEEN 73 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:12,165 STRIKING OUT. 74 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:15,736 "STEAL TEAM SIX" IS NOW 1 AND 75 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:16,036 35 IN COURT. 76 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:19,239 NBC NEWS REPORTED TODAY THAT 77 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:19,806 TRUMP IS CONCERNED THAT HIS 78 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,108 LEGAL TEAM IS MADE UP OF "FOOLS 79 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:24,645 THAT ARE MAKING HIM LOOK BAD." 80 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,315 YEAH, THEY SAID THE SAME THING 81 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:28,582 ABOUT YOU. 82 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,117 ONE OF HIS NEW CHARACTERS WAS 83 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:32,386 INTRODUCED LAST WEEK AND KILLED 84 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,655 OFF THIS WEEKEND. 85 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,390 HER NAME IS SIDNEY POWELL. 86 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:36,990 SHE WAS PUSHING A CONSPIRACY 87 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,458 THEORY THAT SAID THE 88 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:42,362 GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA, WHO IS A 89 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:42,963 BOTH REPUBLICAN AND BIG TRUMP 90 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:43,530 SUPPORTER WAS BRIBED BY THE 91 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:47,367 VOTING MACHINE COMPANY TO THROW 92 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:47,834 THE ELECTION TO BIDEN. 93 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:48,902 I GUESS THAT WAS TOO MUCH EVEN 94 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,339 FOR TRUMP. 95 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:52,973 BECAUSE A WEEK AFTER HE WELCOMED 96 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,174 SIDNEY POWELL TO WHAT HE 97 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,376 DESCRIBED AS A "TRULY GREAT" 98 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,711 LEGAL TEAM, THE CAMPAIGN PUT OUT 99 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,112 A STATEMENT SAYING 100 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,380 "SIDNEY POWELL IS PRACTICING LAW 101 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,214 ON HER OWN. 102 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,016 SHE IS NOT A MEMBER OF THE TRUMP 103 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:03,316 LEGAL TEAM. 104 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,351 SHE IS ALSO NOT A LAWYER FOR THE 105 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,085 PRESIDENT IN HIS PERSONAL 106 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:09,523 CAPACITY." 107 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,057 TRUMP PUT TOGETHER A REAL 108 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,392 CRACKERJACK TEAM OF ATTORNEYS, 109 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,828 IN THAT HE APPEARS TO HAVE 110 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,396 ACTUALLY FOUND THEM INSIDE BOXES 111 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,565 OF CRACKERJACKS. 112 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:19,166 THE LEAD ATTORNEY WORKING FOR 113 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,400 TRUMP ON THE RECOUNT IN 114 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,503 WISCONSIN, A GUY NAMED 115 00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:24,371 JIM TROUPIS, SAYS HE WANTS ALL 116 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,172 IN‐PERSON ABSENTEE BALLOTS TO BE 117 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,840 THROWN OUT. 118 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,408 WHICH IS INTERESTING BECAUSE HE, 119 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,144 AND HIS WIFE, VOTED ABSENTEE 120 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:31,545 BALLOTS IN PERSON. 121 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,780 WHEN REPORTERS ASKED HIM ABOUT 122 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,314 IT, HE REFUSED TO ANSWER. 123 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,149 THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 124 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,818 THIS IS NO LONGER JUST 125 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,387 HYPOCRISY. 126 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:40,921 THIS IS THE HYPOCRALYPSE. 127 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,523 THIS ELECTION IS OVER. 128 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:44,424 TRUMP SHOULD CONCEDE AND GET ON 129 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:45,225 WITH THE TRANSITION. 130 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,361 EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 131 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:48,929 AFTER HIS GSA ADMINISTRATOR 132 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,264 FINALLY SIGNED OFF ON THE 133 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,399 TRANSITION TODAY, AFTER WEEKS OF 134 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,334 DRAGGING HER FEET, THE PRESIDENT 135 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,335 OPENED THE DOOR A CRACK TO A 136 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:56,403 TRANSITION. 137 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,905 AT THIS POINT, TRUMP IS LIKE A 138 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,373 DOG THAT IS AFRAID TO GET IN THE 139 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,308 CAR, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO 140 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,409 GO TO THE VET. 141 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,411 SO HOW DO WE GET HIM OUT OF THE 142 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,446 WHITE HOUSE? 143 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,047 I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE 144 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:16,423 THIS. 145 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,657 >>> LET'S HERE IT. 146 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,426 WE TRICK HIM. 147 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,427 WE SEND HIM TO A CITY THAT 148 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,063 SPECIALIZES IN BUILDING REPLICAS 149 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,397 OF FAMOUS LANDMARKS. 150 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,367 THE EIFFEL TOWER, THE PYRAMIDS 151 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,401 OF EGYPT, THE CIRCUS OF CIRCUS. 152 00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:31,238 WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS BUILD TRUMP 153 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:31,738 HIS OWN WHITE HOUSE IN 154 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:36,343 LAS VEGAS! 155 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:36,777 RIGHT ON THE STRIP. 156 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,344 IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT. 157 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:37,944 FIRST, WE BUILD A WHITE HOUSE. 158 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,212 QUIETLY. 159 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:39,846 THEN, WE SWAP OUT HIS ADDERALL 160 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:43,550 WITH AMBIEN. 161 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,384 THE MINUTE HE CONKS OUT, WE PUT 162 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,354 HIM ON AIR FORCE ONE, HEAD 163 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,421 STRAIGHT TO McCARRAN AIRPORT. 164 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,055 HE WAKES UP, HE'S RIGHT THERE IN 165 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,757 THE OVAL OFFICE, BUT EVEN BETTER 166 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,359 BECAUSE THIS OVAL OFFICE HAS 167 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:53,326 SLOT MACHINES! 168 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,529 HE'D LOVE IT. 169 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,396 THE WEATHER WOULD BE BETTER. 170 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,397 PLENTY OF GOLF. 171 00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:00,267 HE'D BE ONE ELEVATOR RIDE AWAY 172 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:00,867 FROM STRIPPERS, HOOKERS, THE 173 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,769 WHOLE THING! 174 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,371 THE WHITE HOUSE HOTEL AND 175 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:04,604 CASINO! 176 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,541 IF EVER THERE WAS A WORKABLE 177 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:08,375 POST‐PRESIDENCY PLAN FOR 178 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:12,379 DONALD TRUMP, THIS IS IT. 179 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:17,117 INTRODUCING SIEGFRIED AND TRUMP! 180 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,586 THINK ABOUT IT. 181 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:19,853 THANK YOU. 182 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,353 WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING. 183 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:23,423 I DON'T NECESSARILY BELIEVE IN 184 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,024 "SIGNS," BUT AT THE SAME TIME 185 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,659 THAT TRUMP IS ATTACKING THE 186 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,360 FOUNDATION OF OUR DEMOCRACY. 187 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,495 THERE WAS A MUDSLIDE IN SOUTH 188 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,431 DAKOTA. 189 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:31,798 A BIG MUDSLIDE. 190 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:35,902 AND YOU CAN SEE, GEORGE, ABE, 191 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:36,503 TEDDY, AND TOM ARE NOT AMUSED. 192 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,137 THERE ARE MORE NEW COVID CASES 193 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:40,373 IN TRUMPSYLVANIA. 194 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:42,909 ANDREW GIULIANI, SON OF RUDY, 195 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,643 AND A SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE 196 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,478 PRESIDENT HAS IT. 197 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:52,853 AND THIS GUY HAS IT TOO! 198 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,488 YOU MAY HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW. 199 00:05:55,488 --> 00:06:02,395 BUT APPARENTLY "I GOT THE RONA." 200 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:02,529 4 201 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,163 WHY DO BAD THINGS KEEP HAPPENING 202 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,164 TO GOOD PEOPLE? 203 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:04,731 IF YOU REFER TO IT AS "THE 204 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:05,432 ‘RONA," YOU MIGHT NOT DESERVE 205 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,066 THE VIRUS, BUT YOU DO DESERVE IT 206 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,701 MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE. 207 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,171 DJTJ WILL ISOLATE FOR 14 DAYS ON 208 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:11,605 HIS FAVORITE STUMP. 209 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:16,076 YOU EVER READ THE BOOK, "THE 210 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:16,409 GIVING TREE?" 211 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,110 THAT TERRIBLE BOY HAS COME TO 212 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,946 LIFE. 213 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,481 IT'S INTERESTING THAT DONNY J 214 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:24,384 GOT IT BECAUSE JUST LAST MONTH, 215 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,185 HE SAID THE NUMBER OF COVID 216 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:25,819 DEATHS IN THE U. S. WAS "ALMOST 217 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:26,987 NOTHING." 218 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,756 WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE 219 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,323 TITLE OF HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 220 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:35,195 "ALMOST NOTHING." 221 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:35,829 MEANWHILE, TRUMP SON NUMBER TWO 222 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,864 MIGHT SOON BE THE FIRST LADY OF 223 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:38,231 NORTH CAROLINA. 224 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,699 ERIC TRUMP'S WIFE, LAURA, IS 225 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,034 SAID TO BE MULLING A RUN FOR THE 226 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,869 SENATE IN THE TAR HEEL STATE. 227 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,271 LARA TRUMP, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, 228 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:48,375 IS ONE OF THESE WOMEN. 229 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:49,643 NO ONE IS SURE WHICH. 230 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,076 LARA TRUMP IS FROM 231 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,478 NORTH CAROLINA. 232 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:54,281 IT'S WEIRD BECAUSE I NEVER 233 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:54,848 CONSIDERED HER TO BE "FROM" 234 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,115 ANYWHERE. 235 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:59,920 I JUST ASSUMED SOMEONE LEFT A 236 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,553 BUNCH OF PARTS FROM BROKEN BRATZ 237 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,588 DOLLS IN THE PLAYROOM OF A 238 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,155 MEGACHURCH, AND SHE CAME TO 239 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,191 LIFE. 240 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,861 BUT THIS IS EXCITING. 241 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:08,395 SENATOR LARA TRUMP! 242 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,362 WHAT AMERICAN CITIZEN WOULDN'T 243 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:09,896 WANT TO BE REPRESENTED IN 244 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,932 CONGRESS BY THE WIFE OF THE ONLY 245 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:12,532 TRUMP SON WHO STILL WETS THE 246 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:12,699 BED? 247 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,068 WE ARE NOW ONLY THREE DAYS AWAY 248 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:18,672 FROM THE STRANGEST THANKSGIVING 249 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,172 OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES. 250 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:23,209 LAST WEEK, THE CDC URGED 251 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,277 AMERICANS NOT TO TRAVEL. 252 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:24,911 SO, OF COURSE, THE AIRPORTS ARE 253 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:25,845 PACKED. 254 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,448 THAT IS THE SCENE IN CHICAGO. 255 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,483 THIS IS PHOENIX. 256 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:30,917 WHAT DO THEY EXPECT? 257 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,419 WE'RE THE SAME PEOPLE THEY HAD 258 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:35,755 TO TELL NOT TO EAT TIDE PODS! 259 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:36,423 HERE'S WHAT'S SO CRAZY. 260 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,692 EVERY YEAR, WE LOOK FOR AN 261 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,393 EXCUSE TO GET OUT OF SPENDING 262 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,162 THANKSGIVING WITH OUR FAMILIES. 263 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,863 NOW, WE FINALLY HAVE ONE AND 264 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,165 EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING. 265 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,368 EMBRACE IT! 266 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,869 HOW MUCH CRANBERRY JELL‐O CAN 267 00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,338 YOU EAT?! 268 00:07:51,338 --> 00:08:00,380 THE SAFEST WAY TO CELEBRATE, 269 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,881 OBVIOUSLY, IS TO STAY HOME AND 270 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:02,649 VIDEOCHAT WITH YOUR FAMILY. 271 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,853 ZOOM IS EVEN LIFTING THEIR FREE 272 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:07,887 40‐MINUTE TIME LIMIT ON 273 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:08,488 THANKSGIVING, SO FAMILIES CAN 274 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,823 TALK AS LONG AS THEY LIKE. 275 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,023 GREAT. 276 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,491 PLEASE DON'T ANYONE TELL MY 277 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,960 FAMILY ABOUT THIS. 278 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,962 WE NEED A TIME LIMIT. 279 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:16,596 OTHERWISE, IT COULD GO ON UNTIL 280 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:17,497 CHRISTMAS. 281 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,966 GUILLERMO, WHAT'S YOUR PLAN FOR 282 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:26,673 THANKSGIVING? 283 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,508 JUST STAY AT HOME WITH MY WIFE 284 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,977 AND SON. 285 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,146 >> WILL YOU BE COOKING? 286 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,383 >> NO, WE DON'T LIKE TURKEYS. 287 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,752 SHE WILL BE COOKING CHICKEN. 288 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,354 >> OH, SHE WILL BE MAKING 289 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:41,588 CHICKEN. 290 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:44,024 CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, DID YOU 291 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,693 GO TO BOSTON MARKET TO GET CHICK 292 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:46,893 ESPN. 293 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,962 >> JIMMY, IT'S OUT OF BUSINESS 294 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:49,629 RIGHT NOW. 295 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,563 >> OUT OF BUSINESS? 296 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,698 >> YEAH, THEY CLOSE IT. 297 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,233 >> I WANTED TO ASK, AND I WILL 298 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,601 TELL YOU WHY I WANTED TO ASK, 299 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,069 LAST YEAR, I ASKED IF YOU WERE 300 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,537 GOING TO GO TO BOSTON MARKET AND 301 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,172 YOU DENIED EVER HAVING GONE TO 302 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,074 BOSTON MARKET FOR CHICKEN. 303 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,643 >> NO, I DID. 304 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,411 ONE TIME I WENT. 305 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:08,248 >> OH, HOW FAST CAN WE GET THAT 306 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,051 TAPE FROM LAST YEAR? 307 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,119 ALSO, I KNOW GUILLERMO HAS 308 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,087 SPECIAL CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS 309 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:14,254 ON. 310 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,990 >> OH, YES, I PUT IT ON LAST 311 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,658 NIGHT, I PUT IT ON YESTERDAY. 312 00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,226 >> THIS IS A VIDEO THAT 313 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,861 GUILLERMO TEXTED TO DANNY, ONE 314 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,430 OF OUR WRITERS HERE. 315 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,098 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT IT. 316 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,401 >> HI, DANNY, LOOK, I HAVE MY 317 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,805 BABY YODA OVER HERE AND BABY 318 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:38,211 YODA OVER THERE, AND R2D2 AND 319 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,480 R2D2‐2 AND I GOT, I DON'T 320 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,048 REMEMBER WHO IT IS, BUT IT'S 321 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:42,782 FROM STAR WARS. 322 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,084 LOOK AT THE GUY AND TEXT ME WHO 323 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:48,455 IT IS. 324 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:52,659 THANKS, DANNY. 325 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:53,760 >> THAT'S YOUR YARD? 326 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,861 >> YEAH, THAT'S MY YARD. 327 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,865 >> YOU PUT ALL THAT STUFF UP? 328 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,400 >> YES. 329 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,634 >> WHO DID IT. 330 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:02,469 >> MY WIFE AND MY SON. 331 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,370 >> YOU ARE STAR WARS CRAZY. 332 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,372 >> THANKS TO MY SON, AND MY GOOD 333 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,273 FRIEND DANNY. 334 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,908 >> HE GOT YOU IN STAR WARS? 335 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,343 >> HE GOT ME TO WATCH THE MOVIES 336 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:10,743 AND EVERYTHING. 337 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:21,087 >> I THINK MY WIFE PAID LIKE ‐‐ 338 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:24,224 LIKE WHAT? 339 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,125 >> $400 SOMETHING. 340 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,193 >> WE LOOKED UP THE PRICES FOR 341 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,795 ALL OF THOSE ITEMS. 342 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,630 QUITE A BIT MORE THAN $400. 343 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,264 >> YOU SURE? 344 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,266 I TEXT HER, I SWEAR TO GOD. 345 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,602 SHE SAY LIKE OH, LIKE $450. 346 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,003 >> I BELIEVE THAT SHE LIED TO 347 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:37,337 YOU. 348 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,739 THAT I'M NOT, I'M NOT 349 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:40,573 QUESTIONING THAT. 350 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,775 >> DOES SHE LOVE STAR WARS ALSO? 351 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,210 >> ACTUALLY, RIGHT NOW, YES, 352 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,311 BECAUSE OF MY SON. 353 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:45,478 YES. 354 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,047 WE WATCHED ALL THE STAR WARS 355 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,950 MOVIE, MANDOLOREAN AND 356 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,284 EVERYTHING. 357 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,386 >> YEAH, I WOULD HOPE SO. 358 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,888 >> WE LOVE STAR WARS. 359 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,723 >> YOU REMEMBER JESUS, THE 360 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:57,157 CHRISTMAS GUY? 361 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:57,657 >> YEAH. 362 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,692 >> WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? 363 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:04,130 >> NO, I GOT TO PUT HIM NEXT 364 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:04,464 WEEKEND. 365 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,966 >> OKAY. 366 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:07,700 >> STEP BY STEP. 367 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:16,376 >> R2D2, YODA, JESUS. 368 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,512 >> NO, JESUS, I SPENT THE WHOLE 369 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,414 DAY DOING THAT, I THE DID NOT 370 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:26,319 HAVE TIME FOR JESUS AND SANTA 371 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:26,553 CLAUS. 372 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,454 >> WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO SAY IS 373 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,022 PLEASE BE SAFE THIS HOLIDAY 374 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,622 SEASON, BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING 375 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,256 FOR AN EVEN MORE HIGH TECH WAY 376 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:30,990 THAN ZOOM TO MAKE THANKSGIVING 377 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,292 FESTIVE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE 378 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:40,400 A LOOK AT THIS. 379 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,435 >> THARNGS ‐‐ THANKSGIVING 380 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,270 WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY IS TOUGH, 381 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:47,173 BUT THANKLY THERE'S A SOLUTION. 382 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:47,740 UNCLE RENTAL. 383 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,243 >> OH, TOFU ON THANKSGIVING, 384 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,378 WHAT IS THIS VEGAN CRAP. 385 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:53,580 >> IT'S LIKE UNCLE DEAN IS 386 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,214 REALLY HERE. 387 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,049 >> HE IS HERE TO MAKE 388 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,250 THANKSGIVING GREAT AGAIN. 389 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,453 WITH 6,000 IGNORANT SAYINGS. 390 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,555 >> OH, THIS IS THAT MR. RODGER'S 391 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:02,755 MOVIE. 392 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,424 I LOVE TOM HANKS. 393 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:09,562 >> TOM HANKS IS A PEDO, DRINKS 394 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,564 CHILDREN'S BLOOD I, READ IT ON 395 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:11,931 FACEBOOK. 396 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:19,706 >> ADJUST THE BIGOTSPIGOT TO 397 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,809 ADJUST THE RACISM LEVEL TO THE 398 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,377 LEVEL YOU WANT. 399 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,847 >> I SAY NUKE THE ‐‐ AND LET GOD 400 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,481 SORT THEM OUT. 401 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,818 >> OKAY THAT, IS WAY TOO HIGH. 402 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:34,220 >> IN THIS COUNTRY WE SPEAK 403 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:34,487 ENGLISH. 404 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,121 >> PERFECT. 405 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:40,393 >> HOW IS THAT PERFECT. 406 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,828 [ BURPING ] 407 00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:43,863 >> WHAT IS THAT SMELL? 408 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:53,706 >> YOUR UNCLE RELEASING ODORS, 409 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,007 M 410 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:58,911 MIMICING AN ORIGINAL UNCLE. 411 00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:02,282 AVAILABLE AT WALGREEN'S. 412 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,384 >> YOU SHOULD PUT HOSE ON YOUR 413 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,551 LAWN. 414 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:05,918 >> IN TWO WEEKS. 415 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:06,486 WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU 416 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:06,719 TONIGHT. 417 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,054 JACK HUSTON IS HERE. 418 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:08,621 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM JEWEL. 419 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,222 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 420 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,124 AMY ADAMS. 421 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,525 STICK AROUND. 422 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:23,369 ♪ 423 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:23,870 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. 424 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:24,804 TONIGHT, FROM "FARGO" ON FX, 425 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,775 JACK HUSTON IS HERE. 426 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:29,709 AND LATER, THIS BOX SET IS THE 427 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,644 25th ANNIVERSARY REISSUE OF HER 428 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,047 MONSTER ALBUM, "PIECES OF YOU." 429 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,648 FROM THE SHERIDAN OPERA HOUSE IN 430 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:40,887 TELLURIDE, JEWEL. 431 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:41,487 YOU CAN JOIN JEWEL AND CROWN 432 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,588 ROYAL TO SAVE AMERICA'S FAVORITE 433 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:43,890 BARS, CLUBS, AND STAGES BY GOING 434 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:47,727 TO MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG. 435 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,828 TOMORROW NIGHT, KRISTEN STEWART 436 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,865 AND JOSH DUHAMEL, WITH MUSIC 437 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:56,803 FROM THE GREAT JAMES TAYLOR. 438 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,004 PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. 439 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,372 OUR FIRST GUEST IS A MULTI‐OSCAR 440 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,006 NOMINATED, GOLDEN GLOBE WINNING 441 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:00,773 ACTRESS. 442 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,942 HER NEWEST MOVIE, DIRECTED BY 443 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:03,476 RON HOWARD, IS CALLED 444 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:03,876 "HILLBILLY ELEGY." 445 00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:04,777 IT PREMIERES TOMORROW ON 446 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:05,878 NETFLIX. 447 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:13,152 PLEASE SAY HELLO TO AMY ADAMS. 448 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,921 >>> HI, AMY. 449 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,489 >> HI, HOW ARE YOU? 450 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,757 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 451 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:22,161 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, WISH I 452 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,429 WAS THERE. 453 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,564 >> ARE YOU REALLY ‐‐ 454 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,799 >> I'M REALLY BAD AT THE ZOOM 455 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,600 THING, WE WILL SEE. 456 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,569 >> HAVE YOU BEEN QUARANTINED OR 457 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,403 LOCKED UP OR WHATEVER YOU WANT 458 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,104 TO CALL IT? 459 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,772 >> MORE OR LESS, I WORKED A 460 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,841 LITTLE BIT, BUT MORE OR LESS, 461 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,376 REALLY JUST HUNKER DOWN WITH MY 462 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,244 FAMILY SINCE THIS ALL STARTED, 463 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:38,444 YEAH. 464 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,512 >> Jimmy: HOW IS THAT GOING? 465 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,047 >> IT'S GOING OKAY. 466 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,183 I'M KIND OF A HOME BODY, SO, I 467 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,887 MEAN, IT'S, IT'S TAKING SOME 468 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,690 GETTING USED TO BE HOME THIS 469 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:51,424 MUCH, BUT I'M SOCIAL. 470 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,994 I DO A LOT OF ZOOM THINGS. 471 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:55,928 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE BECOME MORE 472 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,530 SOCIAL THAN YOU USUALLY ARE? 473 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,399 >> WAY MORE SOCIAL, YEAH, I HAVE 474 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,633 A ZOOM MOM'S GROUP THAT WE GET 475 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,535 TOGETHER AND SORT OF TALK ABOUT 476 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,004 OUR CONCERNS AND CARES. 477 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:08,741 AND THEN, I DO SOMETHING CALLED 478 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,343 FACETIME ROULETTE, WHERE I 479 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,346 RANDOMLY FACETIME PEOPLE IN MY 480 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,782 CONTACT GROUP TO SEE WHO WILL 481 00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:16,015 ANSWER. 482 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:16,349 THAT'S FUN. 483 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,850 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 484 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:18,718 >> YEAH. 485 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,253 >> Jimmy: IS THERE SOMEBODY THAT 486 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,622 DOES NOT ANSWER? 487 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:22,955 >> MY SISTER. 488 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,290 >> Jimmy: YOUR SISTER. 489 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:25,458 >> MY MOM. 490 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,361 THE PEOPLE THAT DO ANSWER, IT'S 491 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:28,828 FUN. 492 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:35,935 I GOT JACK McBRAER, HE WILL 493 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,337 ANSWER RANDOMLY LIKE NEXT TO HIS 494 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,405 POOL AND I DO A MOVIE NIGHT ONCE 495 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:40,139 A WEEK. 496 00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:42,175 WE WATCH A MOVIE AND DO A QUIZ 497 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,142 ABOUT THE MOVIE. 498 00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,811 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHO DOES THE 499 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,112 QUIZ, YOU AND JACK? 500 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:46,712 OR IS IT ‐‐ 501 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,714 >> NO, NO, DIFFERENT PEOPLE. 502 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:51,751 LIKE ME AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS, 503 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,152 THEY INVITED ME TO IT, WHICH I'M 504 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,053 GRATEFUL FOR. 505 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,823 SO EVERY WEEK WE WATCH A BEST 506 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,224 PICTURE NOMINEE STARTING FROM 507 00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,960 1960, WE ARE IN THE 80s NOW, SO 508 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,829 IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 509 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,564 >> Jimmy: I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK 510 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,265 YOU WOULD BE THIS FAR IN TO IT. 511 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:07,500 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 512 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,701 >> IT'S REALLY FUN. 513 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,069 >> Jimmy: YOU GET THE BEST 514 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:11,270 PICTURE NOMINEE OR WINNER YOU 515 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,071 LOOK AT? 516 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,406 >> WINNER. 517 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:13,706 YES. 518 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,440 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 519 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,809 SO WHAT MOVIE WAS 1960, BEST 520 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,043 PICTURE? 521 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,277 >> WELL, I WAS A LITTLE LATE TO 522 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:18,911 THE GAME. 523 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,780 >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY. 524 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,849 >> THE FIRST ONE, WHY CAN'T I 525 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:23,316 REMEMBER THE NAME. 526 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,284 I REALIZE I HAVE NOT SEEN MOVIES 527 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,552 THAT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN. 528 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:29,856 SO IT'S BEEN GREAT FOR ME. 529 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:34,760 LIKE, I SAW "THE DEER HUNTER," 530 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:40,066 AND "GODFATHER I," "GODFATHER 531 00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:40,333 II." 532 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,535 >> Jimmy: WOW, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN 533 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,770 "THE GODFATHER." 534 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,039 I'M JEALOUS. 535 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:47,573 C 536 00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:48,708 DID THEY HIT YOU? 537 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:49,742 WERE THEY WHAT YOU IMAGINED THEY 538 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:50,142 WOULD BE? 539 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,444 >> YEAH, YEAH. 540 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:51,978 >> Jimmy: THEY WERE. 541 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,914 >> YEAH, THEY WERE AMAZING AND I 542 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,517 REALIZED THAT I HAVE A 543 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,952 RETROACTIVE CRUSH ON ROBERT DE 544 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:00,786 NIRO, TURNS OUT. 545 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,321 >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 546 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,624 >> I HAVE LIKE A CRUSH ON HIM IN 547 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,792 THE '70s, NOT THAT I WOULD NOT 548 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:11,030 HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM NOW, BUT I'M 549 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:11,397 MARRIED. 550 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,165 >> Jimmy: IN THE 70s NOT IN HIS 551 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:13,833 70s. 552 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,602 >> I MEAN, I'M OPEN TO HAVING A 553 00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,138 CRUSH ON HIM IN THE 70s. 554 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:20,172 I THINK THAT COULD HAPPEN. 555 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,641 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HIM IN 556 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,510 "THE GODFATHER" AND "THE DEER 557 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:27,413 HUNTER," I WAS LIKE, WOW, TURNS 558 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,481 OUT, MASSIVE CRUSH, YEAH. 559 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,982 SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GETTING FROM 560 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:30,550 MOVIE NIGHT. 561 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,419 NOT LIKE A DEEP EDUCATION FROM 562 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:33,653 CINEMA. 563 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,254 JUST LIKE ROBERT DE NIRO IS 564 00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:38,691 REALLY HOT. 565 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,759 YEAH. 566 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,393 >> Jimmy: I WONDER HOW HE WOULD 567 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:40,760 FEEL ABOUT THAT? 568 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,962 I WONDER IF HE WOULD BE 569 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,564 FLATTERED, OR HE WOULD SAY, WHY 570 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,598 DIDN'T YOU THINK I WAS HOT 571 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,700 BEFORE, YOU HAVE SEEN ME IN 572 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:47,934 MOVIES. 573 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,368 >> I THINK I WAS SO FOCUSED ON 574 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:52,738 HIS TALENT BEFORE, I WAS 575 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,372 DISTRACTED BY HIS ACTING BEFORE. 576 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:54,540 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD WAY OF 577 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,775 PUTTING IT. 578 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,343 WHAT ARE OTHER MOVIES THAT 579 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,878 EVERYONE HAS SEEN THAT, BECAUSE 580 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,613 EVERYONE HAS THE MOVIES. 581 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,881 I DON'T THINK THAT WE EXPECT 582 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,150 THAT FROM SOMEBODY WHO IS, YOU 583 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,851 KNOW, WHO HAS ACCOLADES FOR 584 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,321 ACTING LIKE YOU DO. 585 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:08,921 I THINK WE IMAGINE THAT YOU 586 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,489 WOULD HAVE SEEN EVERY SINGLE 587 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:10,690 MOVIE. 588 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,658 WHAT IS ONE THAT REALLY STICKS 589 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:13,726 OUT FOR YOU? 590 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,929 FOR ME, "TOP GUN," I NEVER SAW 591 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,831 "TOP GUN." 592 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,301 >> YOU NEVER SAW "TOP GUN"? 593 00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,503 >> Jimmy: YEAH, PEOPLE GET MAD 594 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,505 AND START YELLING AT ME. 595 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,141 >> I WILL NOT YELL AT YOU, BUT I 596 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,444 RECOMMEND YOU SEEING IT. 597 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,512 ISN'T "MAVERICK" COMING OUT? 598 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,381 >> Jimmy: I SHOULD CATCH UP. 599 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:41,988 I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I KNOW 600 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:42,355 EVERYTHING. 601 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,156 I FEEL LIKE SO MUCH HAS BEEN 602 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:44,590 TOLD, IT'S RUINED. 603 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,257 >> I FELT LIKE I HAD SEEN THOSE 604 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:48,327 MOVIES BECAUSE I HAD SEEN SO 605 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:49,595 MANY SCENES I THINK I THOUGHT I 606 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:50,696 HAD SEEN THEM. 607 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:56,769 >> Jimmy: FOR ME, IT'S THE "MAD" 608 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,704 MAGAZINE, WHEN THEY DID THE 609 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,973 MAGAZINE VERSION OF THE MOVIE, I 610 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,209 FELT LIKE I HAD SEEN THOSE. 611 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,444 >> I LIKED THE FOLDING PICTURES. 612 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:06,612 >> Jimmy: AND THEY NEVER SPELLED 613 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,814 ANYTHING THAT MADE ANY SENSE. 614 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,251 IT WAS ALWAYS A STRETCH. 615 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,352 >> IT WAS ALWAYS CAN ‐‐ 616 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:14,520 >> Jimmy: WHAT OTHER MOVIES HAVE 617 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,622 YOU SEEN THAT WERE MAYBE NOT 618 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:17,556 AACADEMY AWARD WINNERS? 619 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:18,758 >> I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S A REALLY 620 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,660 GOOD QUESTION. 621 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,093 I'M TRYING TO THINK. 622 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,162 I KNOW WHICH MOVIES I HAVE SEEN 623 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,697 A LOT OF THAT MIGHT SHOCK AND 624 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,298 HORRIFY YOU, BUT NO. 625 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,467 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEN "STAR 626 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:28,668 WARS." 627 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,936 >> I HAVE SEEN "STAR WARS," 628 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,506 MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY TIMES. 629 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,608 LIKE WE WILL DO "STAR WARS" 630 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,075 MARATHONS. 631 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,244 >> Jimmy: IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT 632 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,212 ONE MORE TIME, DRIVE BY 633 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:40,846 GUILLERMO'S HOUSE. 634 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:44,150 >> I LOVE YOUR BABY YODA LAWN 635 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,551 ORNAMENTS, THOSE ARE AMAZING. 636 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:48,220 >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK 637 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:48,387 YOU. 638 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,856 >> THOSE ARE GREAT. 639 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:51,490 >> Jimmy: HIS WIFE LIED TO HIM 640 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,225 AND TOLD HIM IT COST LESS THAN 641 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:57,363 HALF OF WHAT IT ACTUALLY COST. 642 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,331 >> I MEAN ‐‐ 643 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,900 >> 450. 644 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,669 >> Jimmy: SHE TOLD HIM LESS THAN 645 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:03,869 $450. 646 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,372 >> I WILL GOOGLE THAT TONIGHT. 647 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:06,972 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 648 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:10,009 WHAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR 649 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,043 THANKSGIVING, JUST THE FAMILY? 650 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,846 >> YEAH, JUST MY HUSBAND AND MY 651 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:14,113 DAUGHTER. 652 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:14,346 MYSELF. 653 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:15,815 SO, I'M GOING TO DO, I WILL 654 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:19,218 REALLY MISS MY FAMILY, BUT, YOU 655 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,420 KNOW, WE WILL MAKE IT WORK. 656 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,788 >> Jimmy: ONE OF THE LAST TIMES 657 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:23,689 YOU WERE HERE BEFORE THE WORLD 658 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:24,557 CLOSED DOWN. 659 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,624 IT WAS CHRISTMAS OR 660 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:26,592 THANKSGIVING, ONE OF THE 661 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:26,926 HOLIDAYS. 662 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,828 AS I RECALL, YOU ARE FROM A VERY 663 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:29,395 BIG FAMILY. 664 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,664 YOU HAD EVERYONE STAYING AT YOUR 665 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,798 HOUSE, YOU HAD AIR MATTRESSES 666 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,467 ALL OVER THE GROUND. 667 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,569 >> THAT SOUNDS RIGHT. 668 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:42,575 >> Jimmy: IT WAS A TRIAGE TYPE 669 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:42,975 SITUATION. 670 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:43,609 >> ANY TIME I HAVE GUESTS, IT'S 671 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,143 LIKE A TRIAGE SITUATION. 672 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:44,844 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU GOING TO DO A 673 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,545 ZOOM THING WHERE YOU ARE ALL 674 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,147 INTERACTING WHILE YOU EAT? 675 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,849 >> UM, PROBABLY NOT WHILE WE 676 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:50,015 EAT. 677 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,284 IT WILL PROBABLY JUST BE US. 678 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,587 I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 679 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:55,054 DINNER. 680 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,722 ALTHOUGH, I'M VERY EXCITED. 681 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,624 I WAS NOT SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT 682 00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:00,126 THE TURKEY, BECAUSE I WAS THE 683 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,962 ONLY ONE IN TO THE TURKEY. 684 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,130 I DID FIND A LITTLE PETITE 685 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:04,363 TURKEY. 686 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:05,231 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? 687 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,232 >> I DID. 688 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:09,201 >> Jimmy: THOSE ARE CALLED 689 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:09,535 CHICKENS. 690 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:16,809 >> NO, NO, IT'S LIKE A LITTLE ‐‐ 691 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,044 IT'S DETHAWING IN MY FRIDGE I'M 692 00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:19,311 EXCITED. 693 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,546 >> Jimmy: HOW MANY TIMES IS THE 694 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:23,616 BABY TURKEY YOU ARE EATING? 695 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,285 >> OH, NO, YOU CALLED IT A BABY. 696 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,854 I THOUGHT IT WAS A MINITURE, UH 697 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,557 OH, THAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT IT 698 00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:31,857 DIFFERENTLY. 699 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:32,792 >> Jimmy: THEY DON'T HIT THEM 700 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,761 WITH A SHRINK RAY. 701 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:38,798 >> HUH, UH OH. 702 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,533 >> Jimmy: MAYBE IT'S A SPECIAL 703 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,067 PONY TURKEY OR SOMETHING LIKE 704 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,870 THAT, THAT YOU ARE EATING. 705 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,238 AM I MAKING IT WORSE? 706 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,107 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, I'M 707 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,508 HAVING A DILEMMA. 708 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:50,910 MY DAUGHTER IS DEFINITELY NOT 709 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,878 GOING TO EAT IT NOW FOR SURE. 710 00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,079 THAT'S FOR SURE. 711 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,381 >> Jimmy: WHEN WE COME BACK, WE 712 00:21:55,381 --> 00:21:59,985 WILL SEE A SCENE FROM "HILLBILLY 713 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:00,820 ELEGY" WITH AMY ADAMS, WE WILL 714 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,055 BE RIGHT BACK. 715 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:03,422 >> PORTIONS OF 716 00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:04,056 "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT 717 00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:04,456 TO YOU BY PAYPAL. 718 00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:05,057 DOWNLOAD THE PAYPAL AND VENMO 719 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:05,691 APPS TO SHOP SAFE WITH Q‐R CODES 720 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:05,891 AT CVS. 721 00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:15,100 >>> I CHANGED MY MIND. 722 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,836 >> I BEGGED THEM TO LET YOU STAY 723 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:17,036 HERE. 724 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,438 >> WELL, NOBODY ASKED YOU TO. 725 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:20,906 NOT A CHARITY CASE. 726 00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,708 >> WHY AM I HERE, MOM? 727 00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:25,644 >> FEEL SUPERIOR, MAYBE. 728 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:28,347 >> HOW CAN YOU BE SO ‐‐ SELFISH? 729 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,315 DO YOU CARE WHAT YOU DO TO 730 00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:29,548 LYNDSAY. 731 00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:31,016 >> J. D., SHUT UP. 732 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,184 >> YOU LEAVE LYNDSAY OUT OF 733 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:32,418 THIS. 734 00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,987 >> YOU DID THE SAME THING FROM 735 00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:37,423 MAMAW, YOU TOOK AND TOOK FROM 736 00:22:37,423 --> 00:22:40,092 HER UNTIL SHE WAS PRACTICALLY 737 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:40,359 BANKRUPT. 738 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,061 >> YEAH, SHE WAS A SAINT. 739 00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:44,864 >> ALL SHE DID WAS BAIL YOU OUT. 740 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,968 >> WHEN IT MATTERED. 741 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,437 >> Jimmy: THIS IS BASED ON A 742 00:22:51,437 --> 00:22:52,605 TRUE STORY, THIS REALLY 743 00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:54,106 HAPPENED? 744 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:58,544 >> YES, IT IS BASED ON THE BOOK, 745 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,045 SAME TITLE. 746 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:03,749 IT CHRONICLES HIS LIFE IN OHIO, 747 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:08,020 WITH ANCESTORS FROM APPLACHIA 748 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:08,454 AND KENTUCKY. 749 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:09,622 >> Jimmy: THEY INTERVIEWED THE 750 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:12,992 WOMEN YOU PLAYED, AND THE 751 00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:15,895 WOMAN ‐‐ OH, BOY, I WONDER WHAT 752 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,096 SHE THOUGHT OF BEING PORTRAYED 753 00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:17,863 THAT WAY? 754 00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:20,065 >> I'M ALWAYS VERY, HM‐MM, 755 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:23,102 SENSITIVE TO WHAT THEIR 756 00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,003 EXPERIENCE MUST BE. 757 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,537 I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET TO 758 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,873 MEET HER AND TALK THROUGH WHAT 759 00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:28,274 WE WERE DOING. 760 00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,609 SHE READ THE BOOK, SO SHE KNEWS 761 00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:32,778 THE A ROUGH TIME IN HER LIFE 762 00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:33,712 BEING HIGHLIGHTED. 763 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:36,448 I WAS REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS AND 764 00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:36,782 INTIMIDATED. 765 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:37,483 >> Jimmy: I WOULD THINK SO. 766 00:23:37,483 --> 00:23:38,317 >> YEAH. 767 00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:40,319 >> Jimmy: YOU MET HER AFTER THE 768 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:40,519 FILM? 769 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:41,153 >> BEFORE. 770 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:41,954 >> Jimmy: OH, BEFORE. 771 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,389 >> AS PART OF THE RESEARCH. 772 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,057 THE FAMILY INVITED US IN SO WE 773 00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:47,426 GOT TO MEET A LOT OF THE FAMILY 774 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:47,693 MEMBER‐S. 775 00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:48,761 >> Jimmy: IF SOMEBODY SEEMS 776 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:49,995 REALLY SCAREY AND YOU MEET THEM 777 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:51,897 BEFORE YOU SHOOT THE MOVIE, 778 00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:58,070 WOULD YOU REEL ITAD ‐‐ IT IN 779 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:03,709 FOR SAFETY SAKE? 780 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:04,877 >> WHAT ARE YOU SAY SOMEING? 781 00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:05,277 IT DEPENDS. 782 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,378 THIS IS A SPECIFIC TIME IN HER 783 00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:07,513 LIFE WHERE SHE IS GOING THROUGH 784 00:24:07,513 --> 00:24:08,948 A LOT OF STRUGGLES. 785 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:09,949 >> Jimmy: I ASSUME IT'S A WIG 786 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,817 THAT YOU ARE WEARING IN THAT 787 00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:12,685 SCENE? 788 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,820 >> NO, THAT ‐‐ NO, YES, THAT'S A 789 00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:15,387 WIG. 790 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,056 I HAD TWO DIFFERENT WIGS. 791 00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:18,123 THAT WAS HER WHEN SHE WAS OLDER 792 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,125 AND THEN I PLAY HER AND HER 30s 793 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:20,592 AS WELL. 794 00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:22,261 >> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE A WIG? 795 00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:23,495 IS A WIG SOMETHING THAT HELPS 796 00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:24,730 YOU GET IN TO IT? 797 00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:29,435 >> IT'S, YEAH, I LOVE A WIG. 798 00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:31,036 AND I LIKE THAT IT TAKES A LOT 799 00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:33,505 OF TIME OFF THE PREP IN THE 800 00:24:33,505 --> 00:24:33,739 MORNING. 801 00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:36,075 YOU JUST GET TO PUT THE WIG ON. 802 00:24:36,075 --> 00:24:36,709 AND ‐‐ YEAH. 803 00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:37,977 AND THE WIG IN THIS. 804 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,446 I NICKNAMED HER BECAUSE IT WAS 805 00:24:40,446 --> 00:24:45,751 HOT AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS W 806 00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:47,586 WEARING AN ANIMAL ON MY HEAD IT 807 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:52,424 WAS BEAVERLY INSTEAD OF BEVERLY. 808 00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:53,425 >> Jimmy: GLENN CLOSE PLAYS YOUR 809 00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:55,394 MOM IN THE MOVIE, HAD YOU MET 810 00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:56,261 HER BEFORE? 811 00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,997 >> WE MET EACH OTHER BACK AND 812 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:58,430 FORTH. 813 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,599 I CALL IT A RED CARPET 814 00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:02,067 FRIENDSHIP, WHERE YOU JUST KIND 815 00:25:02,067 --> 00:25:03,936 OF WAVE ACROSS. 816 00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:06,372 I BOW TO HER ACROSS THE RED 817 00:25:06,372 --> 00:25:06,605 CARPET. 818 00:25:06,605 --> 00:25:11,143 IT WAS GREAT MEETING HER. 819 00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:14,680 SHE IS SUCH AN AMAZING WOMAN, 820 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,050 AND SPEAKING OF THE REAL LIFE 821 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:20,019 COUNTERPART TO THE ROLE SHE 822 00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:21,053 PLAYED, IT'S UNCANNY. 823 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:22,321 >> Jimmy: SEEMS THAT YOU HIT IT 824 00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:22,621 ALL. 825 00:25:22,621 --> 00:25:25,457 I HAVE A VIDEO THAT GLENN POSTED 826 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:25,858 TO INSTAGRAM. 827 00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:27,126 TELL US WHAT WE ARE GOING TO SEE 828 00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:28,027 IN THE VIDEO? 829 00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:32,331 >> IS THIS A VIDEO OF ME ON A 830 00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:32,598 BICYCLE. 831 00:25:32,598 --> 00:25:33,699 >> Jimmy: YES. 832 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:34,066 YES. 833 00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:34,700 IT INVOLVES ‐‐ YES. 834 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,069 >> OH, MY GOD, SO FUNNY. 835 00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:40,205 >> YEAH, I'M FEEDING A GOAT. 836 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,074 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 837 00:25:42,074 --> 00:25:43,575 THIS IS CALLED GOATS ON THE 838 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:44,009 ROOF? 839 00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:45,611 >> IT'S CALLED GOATS ON THE 840 00:25:45,611 --> 00:25:46,078 ROOF. 841 00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:48,414 IT'S IN CLAYTON, GEORGIA. 842 00:25:48,414 --> 00:25:49,214 THERE'S GOATS THE ROOF. 843 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:52,518 IT WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTING 844 00:25:52,518 --> 00:25:56,155 IF IT WERE CALLED KBOET ED GOAT 845 00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,724 ROOF AND THERE'S NO GOATS ON THE 846 00:25:58,724 --> 00:25:59,024 ROOF. 847 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:02,127 YOU PUT THE FOOD IN IT AND YOU 848 00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:03,629 RIDE THE BIKE AND IT WHEELS IT 849 00:26:03,629 --> 00:26:06,065 UP AND YOU FEED THE GOATS ON THE 850 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:06,865 ROOF. 851 00:26:06,865 --> 00:26:08,801 >> Jimmy: THE PEOPLE AT GOATS ON 852 00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:10,002 THE ROOF MUST LAUGH HARD. 853 00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:11,804 NOT ONLY DO THEY PAY TO FEED THE 854 00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:14,039 ANIMALS THEY GET ON A BIKE TO 855 00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:15,641 MAKE THE FOOD GO UP TO THE ROOF. 856 00:26:15,641 --> 00:26:18,010 >> I HAD A LOT OF FUN AT GOATS 857 00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:18,844 ON THE ROOF. 858 00:26:18,844 --> 00:26:21,146 I DID. 859 00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:21,513 >> Jimmy: WELL. 860 00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:22,047 >> THEY ARE SO SWEET. 861 00:26:22,047 --> 00:26:23,715 >> Jimmy: WHY WOULDN'T YOU. 862 00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:25,651 THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US. 863 00:26:25,651 --> 00:26:27,052 HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING AND I 864 00:26:27,052 --> 00:26:29,221 HOPE THAT TINY TURKEY COMES OUT 865 00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:30,589 AND YOU DON'T SHED A TEAR. 866 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,391 >> I'M SO UPSET ABOUT THE BABY 867 00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:33,158 TURKEY THING. 868 00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:34,093 I CANNOT TELL YOU. 869 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,961 I HAVE A LOT OF THINKING TO DO. 870 00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:37,029 THANK YOU, SIR IS. 871 00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:39,064 >> Jimmy: WE WILL MAIL YOU 872 00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:39,631 SPAGHETTI. 873 00:26:39,631 --> 00:26:40,866 AMY ADAMS. 874 00:26:40,866 --> 00:26:41,500 "HILLBILLY ELEGY" WITH PREMIERS 875 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:42,801 TOMORROW ON NETFLIX. 876 00:26:42,801 --> 00:26:44,002 WE WILL BE BACK WITH JACK 877 00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:44,236 HUSTON. 878 00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:44,436 ♪ 879 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:44,570 ♪ 880 00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:52,811 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 881 00:26:52,811 --> 00:26:53,545 JACK HUSTON AND MUSIC FROM JEWEL 882 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:54,513 ARE ON THE WAY. 883 00:26:54,513 --> 00:26:55,147 THE HOLIDAYS WILL SOON BE UPON 884 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:55,981 US, BUT WITH THE VIRUS STILL OUT 885 00:26:55,981 --> 00:26:56,748 THERE, SHOPPING HAS BECOME A 886 00:26:56,748 --> 00:27:02,688 CHALLENGE. 887 00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:07,025 NO CHALLENGE IS TOO CLALG 888 00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:09,795 CHALLENGING FOR OUR RESIDENT 889 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,029 SHOPAHOLIC, GUILLERMO. 890 00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:13,632 >> HI, I'M GETTING SHOPPING DOWN 891 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:16,802 AT CVS, HOW AM I GOING TO PAY 892 00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:18,403 SAFELY WITHOUT TOUCHING A BUNCH 893 00:27:18,403 --> 00:27:18,737 OF STUFF. 894 00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:19,505 >> WELL ‐‐ 895 00:27:19,505 --> 00:27:21,073 >> I HAVE AN IDEA. 896 00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:22,107 >> SIR, YOU DON'T, YOU DON'T 897 00:27:22,107 --> 00:27:23,475 HAVE TO DO THIS. 898 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:23,642 SIR. 899 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,477 >> OKAY, HERE. 900 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:25,911 >> OKAY. 901 00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:26,411 >> SIR. 902 00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:29,081 >> I GOT A BITE, I GOT A BIG 903 00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:29,248 ONE. 904 00:27:29,248 --> 00:27:31,016 >> SIR, WE DON'T. 905 00:27:31,016 --> 00:27:33,085 >> QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, 906 00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:35,020 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, YOU DON'T 907 00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:36,288 LIKE DUCKS? 908 00:27:36,288 --> 00:27:39,658 YOU GOING TO LOVE THIS. 909 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,528 >> SIR, NONE OF THIS IS 910 00:27:42,528 --> 00:27:42,794 NECESSARY. 911 00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:44,663 >> OH, OKAY. 912 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:50,102 >> PAYPAL AND VENMO QR CODES ARE 913 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:50,502 AVAILABLE. 914 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,938 SCAN THE CODE, PAY AND GO. 915 00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:53,071 USING THE SCAN TO GO FEATURE. 916 00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,106 >> THAT WAS EASY, SAFE AND TOUCH 917 00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:54,306 FREE. 918 00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,508 >> I GUESS I WILL NOT BE NEEDING 919 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:57,009 THIS. 920 00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:57,676 >> DOWNLOAD THE PAYPAL, AND 921 00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,912 VENMO APPS TO MAKE TOUCHLESS 922 00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:00,412 PAYMENTS IN CVS STORES TODAY. 923 00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:13,458 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. 924 00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:14,293 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A TALENTED 925 00:28:14,293 --> 00:28:14,893 ACTOR FROM A LEGENDARY SHOW 926 00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:16,528 BUSINESS FAMILY, YOU KNOW HIM 927 00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:18,397 FROM "BOARDWALK EMPIRE" AND 928 00:28:18,397 --> 00:28:19,831 SEASON FOUR OF "FARGO" ON FX. 929 00:28:19,831 --> 00:28:26,238 PLEASE WELCOME JACK HUSTON. 930 00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:29,841 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 931 00:28:29,841 --> 00:28:33,612 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? 932 00:28:33,612 --> 00:28:37,983 >> HOW ARE YOU? 933 00:28:37,983 --> 00:28:40,786 >> Jimmy: WOW. 934 00:28:40,786 --> 00:28:44,156 WE SHOULD JUST GO WITH THE BOW. 935 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:44,489 YOU KNOW WHAT? 936 00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:46,091 IN SQUJAPAN, THEY HAD IT RIGHT. 937 00:28:46,091 --> 00:28:49,428 THE BOW WAS ACCEPTABLE. 938 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:51,597 LIKE ON "THE TONIGHT" SHOW, THEY 939 00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:53,332 ALWAYS HAD A BOW. 940 00:28:53,332 --> 00:28:54,099 IT'S VERY OLD SCHOOL. 941 00:28:54,099 --> 00:28:56,301 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 942 00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:56,868 >> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU. 943 00:28:56,868 --> 00:28:59,304 >> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN CAN DOING 944 00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:02,808 WELL, I'M WATCHING YOU ON 945 00:29:02,808 --> 00:29:04,576 "FARGO," ONE OF MY FAVORITE 946 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:04,810 SHOWS. 947 00:29:04,810 --> 00:29:07,546 >> IT'S A GOOD SHOW. 948 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:08,880 >> Jimmy: WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR 949 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:09,181 CHARACTER. 950 00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:09,481 >> WHY IS. 951 00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:12,851 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO SAY 952 00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:14,086 SOMETHING, FIRST TIME I SAW YOU 953 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:14,820 PLAYING THIS GUY. 954 00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:16,655 I FELT SORRY FOR YOU. 955 00:29:16,655 --> 00:29:21,560 I WAS LIKE, THIS MUST BE AN 956 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,194 ABS 957 00:29:22,194 --> 00:29:23,095 ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE TO HAVE THE 958 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:24,596 TICKS AND KNOCKING AND ALL THE 959 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:28,066 STUFF AND TO SUMMON THAT AND TO 960 00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:30,736 PUT IT IN YOUR PSYCHE. 961 00:29:30,736 --> 00:29:34,539 >> MY FIRSTS MEETING WITH NOAH, 962 00:29:34,539 --> 00:29:37,376 A GENIUS, HE IS AMAZING. 963 00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:39,711 THE ONLY TIDBIT ABOUT MY 964 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:41,680 CHARACTER BEFORE I SIGNED ON WAS 965 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,849 HE IS A KANSAS CITY DETECTIVE 966 00:29:43,849 --> 00:29:45,417 WITH OCD, THAT WAS IT, THAT WAS 967 00:29:45,417 --> 00:29:52,257 THE END OF IT. 968 00:29:52,257 --> 00:29:53,058 I REMEMBER IT WAS MY FIRST DAY 969 00:29:53,058 --> 00:29:54,126 OF WORK. 970 00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:55,994 AS AN ACTOR, YOU CONSTANTLY TRY 971 00:29:55,994 --> 00:29:58,797 TO PLAY IT DOWN. 972 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,667 THE SUBTLETY, THE CAMERA IS 973 00:30:01,667 --> 00:30:02,034 RIGHT THERE. 974 00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:03,602 I HAD BEEN WORKING ON THIS. 975 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:05,671 AND MY CHARACTER, YOU KNOW, HE 976 00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:07,372 DOES EVERYTHING IN FIVEs. 977 00:30:07,372 --> 00:30:08,540 I WAS DOING THESE WITH MY 978 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:09,708 FINGERS AND MY LEGS GOING AND 979 00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:11,009 ALL THE REST OF IT. 980 00:30:11,009 --> 00:30:12,244 I THINK I'M GOING TO GO IN AND 981 00:30:12,244 --> 00:30:12,611 START SLOW. 982 00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:14,479 AND I'M GOING IN WITH MY FIRST 983 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:19,351 SCENE, AND I GO OUT, AND I WAS 984 00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:19,885 LIKE, GO A LITTLE FURTHER. 985 00:30:19,885 --> 00:30:20,085 OKAY. 986 00:30:20,085 --> 00:30:21,320 I GO OUT AND MY LEG STARTS GOING 987 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:29,094 AND I DO, THIS AND HE CUT CACAN‐ 988 00:30:29,094 --> 00:30:31,363 HE CUT AND HE SAID, GO A LITTLE 989 00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:31,596 FURTHER. 990 00:30:31,596 --> 00:30:33,498 AND EVERY TIME HE WOULD GO, GO A 991 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:34,299 LITTLE FURTHER. 992 00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:36,601 BY THE END MY EYE WAS TWITCHING 993 00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:37,703 AND MY FACE WAS TWITCHING AND I 994 00:30:37,703 --> 00:30:39,271 WAS DOING THE FINGERS AND MOVING 995 00:30:39,271 --> 00:30:40,772 THINGS ON THE DESK AND THEN HE 996 00:30:40,772 --> 00:30:41,873 GOES, OKAY. 997 00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:44,576 GOOD, NOW PULL IT BACK. 998 00:30:44,576 --> 00:30:47,546 AND I WAS LIKE, OH, I GET IT. 999 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:48,880 BECAUSE WHAT HE WANTED ME TO 1000 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,215 FEEL AND EXPERIENCE WAS, HE 1001 00:30:50,215 --> 00:30:52,017 WANTED TO GET ALL OF THESE 1002 00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:53,785 THINGS OUT OF ME TO KNOW WHAT 1003 00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:54,653 WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING INSIDE, 1004 00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:57,723 IF YOU HAVE OCD, WHAT YOU DO, DO 1005 00:30:57,723 --> 00:30:59,458 IS ONLY A FRACTION OF WHAT YOU 1006 00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:00,325 WANT TO DO. 1007 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:01,860 SO, YOU KNOW, IF I'M KNOCKING 1008 00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,363 FIVE TIMES, I'M PROBABLY WANTING 1009 00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:05,630 TO KICK SOMETHING 50 TIMES AND 1010 00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:06,698 DO SOMETHING ELSE AND MOVE 1011 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:07,332 EVERYTHING. 1012 00:31:07,332 --> 00:31:09,701 SO, IT WAS SORT OF A REALLY GOOD 1013 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:09,901 TOOL. 1014 00:31:09,901 --> 00:31:10,168 BUT I ‐‐ 1015 00:31:10,168 --> 00:31:11,370 >> Jimmy: YEAH, DO YOU THINK 1016 00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:13,739 THAT HE WENT IN TO FILMING THAT 1017 00:31:13,739 --> 00:31:14,406 DAY, KNOWING THAT THAT WAS HOW 1018 00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:15,907 HE WAS GOING TO HANDLE IT? 1019 00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:19,611 THAT HE WAS GOING TO FILL WITH 1020 00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,880 YOU AS MANY TICKS AS HUMANLY 1021 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:22,914 POSSIBLE AND THEN TELL YOU TO 1022 00:31:22,914 --> 00:31:26,151 TRY TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE 1023 00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:26,318 OCD? 1024 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:29,721 >> IT'S INTERESTING, IT MAY BE 1025 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,490 THE GENIUS OF NOAH, LIKE YOU 1026 00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:31,990 SAID. 1027 00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:35,761 IT WAS THE BEST DIRECTION THAT I 1028 00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:36,228 EVER GOT. 1029 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,296 KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING, GO 1030 00:31:38,296 --> 00:31:38,530 FURTHER. 1031 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,232 YOU CAN ALWAYS PULL IT BACK, BUT 1032 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:41,633 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FAR YOU CAN 1033 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,502 GO UNTIL YOU ARE GIVEN THE SORT 1034 00:31:43,502 --> 00:31:44,903 OF ‐‐ BUT THAT WAS. 1035 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,905 >> Jimmy: DID IT BE STRESSFUL 1036 00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,273 FOR YOU AS FAR AS MAINTAINING 1037 00:31:48,273 --> 00:31:50,242 THAT GOES? 1038 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,844 >> I HAVE SO MUCH SIMPLE IS THI. 1039 00:31:52,844 --> 00:31:56,214 ‐‐ I HAVE SO MUCH SYMPATHY FOR 1040 00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:56,448 PEOPLE. 1041 00:31:56,448 --> 00:31:57,249 >> Jimmy: I HAVE THAT, YOU KIND 1042 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,251 OF DO A BIT OF COUNTING AND 1043 00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,252 YEAH ‐‐ 1044 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:04,289 >> YEAH, TOTALLY. 1045 00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:04,856 >> Jimmy: IT'S FRUSTRATING. 1046 00:32:04,856 --> 00:32:06,425 >> IT'S FUNNY WHEN I SPEAK TO 1047 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:06,792 PEOPLE ABOUT IT. 1048 00:32:06,792 --> 00:32:08,059 WHAT I DEVELOPED FROM THIS, WAS 1049 00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:15,734 I DRINK A LOT OF COUFFEE, AND 1050 00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:19,404 THERE'S A LINE WHERE A GUY SAID 1051 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:19,704 ROUGH NIGHT. 1052 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:20,906 AND I SAY, EVERY NIGHT IS A 1053 00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:21,573 ROUGH NIGHT. 1054 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:24,643 I DEVELOPED A WEIRD FACIAL TICK 1055 00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:26,144 THAT ‐‐ 1056 00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:27,245 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 1057 00:32:27,245 --> 00:32:28,780 >> IT SUDDENLY STARTS GOING. 1058 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:32,884 AND MY FACE STARTED GOING AND I 1059 00:32:32,884 --> 00:32:34,286 REALIZED AS SOON AS THEY SAID 1060 00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:35,821 ACTION, MY FACE WOULD GO, 1061 00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:36,922 BECAUSE I WAS HOLDING SO MUCH 1062 00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:37,222 IN. 1063 00:32:37,222 --> 00:32:41,726 AND THEN I OFFERED SPECIFICALLY 1064 00:32:41,726 --> 00:32:45,730 SORT OF HARD CORE, I HAD JUST 1065 00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:47,833 BROKEN FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK AND I 1066 00:32:47,833 --> 00:32:48,467 WAS ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT 1067 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:51,703 AND I FINISHED AND MY FACE IS 1068 00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:54,639 JUST GOING AND I CANNOT STOP IT. 1069 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,675 I AM LIKE, CALLING MY PARTNER, 1070 00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:58,443 SHANNON, AND I'M LIKE, THIS IS 1071 00:32:58,443 --> 00:32:59,144 ME NOW. 1072 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:02,214 I HAVE, I HAVE DEVELOPED A 1073 00:33:02,214 --> 00:33:04,549 FACIAL TICK AND I TRULY BELIEVE 1074 00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:07,152 IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO LOSE 1075 00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:07,319 IT. 1076 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:07,853 >> Jimmy: WOW. 1077 00:33:07,853 --> 00:33:09,621 >> I HAD GONE SO FAR IN TO IT. 1078 00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:11,523 >> Jimmy: WOW. 1079 00:33:11,523 --> 00:33:11,923 >> IT WAS INSANE. 1080 00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:12,757 IT WAS A MESS. 1081 00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:13,859 YEAH, CRAZY. 1082 00:33:13,859 --> 00:33:15,227 >> Jimmy: THAT IS DISTURBING. 1083 00:33:15,227 --> 00:33:17,128 COULD BE WORSE BY THE WAY TOO. 1084 00:33:17,128 --> 00:33:17,696 >> I KNOW. 1085 00:33:17,696 --> 00:33:19,531 >> Jimmy: WHAT WILL YOU DOER FOR 1086 00:33:19,531 --> 00:33:20,465 THANKSGIVING? 1087 00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:23,401 DO YOU VISIT THE HUSTON FAMILY? 1088 00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:26,004 DO YOU HAVE A CONGREGATION OF 1089 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:26,271 SOME KIND? 1090 00:33:26,271 --> 00:33:31,009 >> YEAH, WE GO TO MY AUNT 1091 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:31,510 ANGELICA. 1092 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:35,146 ANT JELLY, MY KIDS CALL HER. 1093 00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:36,481 WE GO TO HER RANCH. 1094 00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,116 >> Jimmy: IS IT A REAL RANCH 1095 00:33:38,116 --> 00:33:39,417 WITH ANIMALS AND EVERYTHING? 1096 00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:44,623 >> IT IS, A LOT OF AN IMALANIMAE 1097 00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,925 WANTED AND SOME UNWANTED, I WILL 1098 00:33:46,925 --> 00:33:47,826 BE HONEST. 1099 00:33:47,826 --> 00:33:49,594 I HAVE THE WORST FATHER OF 1100 00:33:49,594 --> 00:33:50,562 SPIDERS SINCE A CHILD. 1101 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:52,297 I SEE A SPIDER AND YOU THINK IT 1102 00:33:52,297 --> 00:33:53,798 WAS MY DAUGHTER SCREAMING. 1103 00:33:53,798 --> 00:33:54,966 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 1104 00:33:54,966 --> 00:33:58,703 >> I HAVE IT HORRIFICALLY. 1105 00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:01,273 AND SUBSEQUENTLY, I HAVE NOW 1106 00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:02,707 MANAGED TO PLACE MY FEARS 1107 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,708 ENTIRELY ON MY CHILDREN. 1108 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:05,777 I HAVE A 4‐YEAR‐OLD BOY AND A 1109 00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:06,211 7‐YEAR‐OLD DAUGHTER. 1110 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:09,047 AND THEY, WHEN I THINK I SHRIEK 1111 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,917 AT A SPIDER NOW, BECAUSE OF 1112 00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:13,351 DADDY EVERY TIME SEEING A SPIDER 1113 00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:15,387 RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM, THEY 1114 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:16,254 TAKE IT TO ‐‐ 1115 00:34:16,254 --> 00:34:17,722 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW IT GOES. 1116 00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:21,092 >> IT GOES INSANE. 1117 00:34:21,092 --> 00:34:21,660 >> Jimmy: I PRETEND I'M NOT 1118 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,662 AFRAID OF ANYTHING WITH MY 1119 00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:23,929 CHILDREN. 1120 00:34:23,929 --> 00:34:26,064 MY SON, WE WENT TO IDAHO AND HE 1121 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,866 WAS HOLDING A SNAKE. 1122 00:34:27,866 --> 00:34:30,201 AND I'M LIKE ‐‐ AND IT'S ALSO, 1123 00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:31,703 WHEN YOU REALIZE A 3‐YEAR‐OLD IS 1124 00:34:31,703 --> 00:34:33,104 MORE MAN THAN YOU ARE. 1125 00:34:33,104 --> 00:34:35,440 >> ALL THE TIME. 1126 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,441 THE WHOLE TIME. 1127 00:34:36,441 --> 00:34:37,976 MY KIDS THE WHOLE TIME, IT'S SO 1128 00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:40,111 FUNNY YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR 1129 00:34:40,111 --> 00:34:40,378 CHILDREN. 1130 00:34:40,378 --> 00:34:41,913 BECAUSE I REMEMBER LAST TIME WE 1131 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:43,014 WENT, IT WAS IN THE SUMMER AND 1132 00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:45,083 YOU KNOW, EVERY SORT OF DAY, 1133 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:49,020 THERE WAS ABOUT SORT OF 1134 00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:51,623 20‐‐30SHRIEKS, MAINLY FROM ME, 1135 00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:52,090 SOME FROM MY CHILDREN. 1136 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:52,924 SEEING A LITTLE SPIDER AND I 1137 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:53,758 REMEMBER IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT 1138 00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:56,962 AND I WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH, 1139 00:34:56,962 --> 00:35:01,232 AND I HEAR THIS BLOOD CURDLING 1140 00:35:01,232 --> 00:35:03,068 SCREAM, AND SHE SAW A SPIDER AND 1141 00:35:03,068 --> 00:35:05,070 I WAS LIKE, OKAY, I TOOK IT TOO 1142 00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:05,270 FAR. 1143 00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:06,771 COME ON, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 1144 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:08,340 I WALK IN THE BEDROOM THAT I'M 1145 00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:10,508 SHARING WITH MY DAUGHTER AND MY 1146 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:11,176 PARTNER IS IN ANOTHER ROOM WITH 1147 00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:11,843 MY SON. 1148 00:35:11,843 --> 00:35:14,279 AND ON THE WALL, I'M NOT JOKING 1149 00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:22,320 IS A TARANTULA SIDE SPIDER ABOVE 1150 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,121 MY BED WHERE WE HAVE BEEN 1151 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:24,122 SLEEPING EVERY NIGHT. 1152 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:24,556 >> Jimmy: WOW. 1153 00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:26,291 >> I'M LIKE, THAT IS A MASSIVE 1154 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:26,524 SPIDER. 1155 00:35:26,524 --> 00:35:27,792 WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. 1156 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,894 SO, OBVIOUSLY I GET SHANNON, MY 1157 00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:31,796 PARTNER TO COME IN AND TAKE IT 1158 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:34,699 OUT WHILE WE ALL RAN AWAY. 1159 00:35:34,699 --> 00:35:35,100 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 1160 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:36,101 WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DOES THAT 1161 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:37,035 WORK EXACTLY? 1162 00:35:37,035 --> 00:35:39,938 >> SHE KNOWS ME BETTER THAN 1163 00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:40,171 ANYBODY. 1164 00:35:40,171 --> 00:35:43,575 >> Jimmy: SHE GOT A TARANTULA 1165 00:35:43,575 --> 00:35:44,209 OUT OF THE ROOM. 1166 00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:44,743 ? 1167 00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:46,678 >> YEAH, SHE JUST PUTS IT 1168 00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:48,813 TOGETHER, SHE IS LIKE, YOU GUYS 1169 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,414 ARE RIDICULOUS. 1170 00:35:49,414 --> 00:35:50,815 I SAID TO MY DAUGHTER, WE ARE 1171 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,951 GOING TO AUNTIE JELLIES FOR 1172 00:35:52,951 --> 00:35:53,752 THANKSGIVING AND SHE IS LIKE, 1173 00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:54,853 I'M NOT GOING THERE. 1174 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:58,289 AND I WAS LIKE, IS IT ABOUT THE 1175 00:35:58,289 --> 00:35:58,523 SPIDER? 1176 00:35:58,523 --> 00:35:59,290 AND SHE WAS LIKE, I'M NOT GOING 1177 00:35:59,290 --> 00:35:59,491 THERE. 1178 00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:02,293 AND I GO, UM, LISTEN, EVERY 1179 00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,095 NIGHT BEFORE WE GO TO BED, I 1180 00:36:04,095 --> 00:36:06,364 WILL PULL THE BED OUT, WE WILL 1181 00:36:06,364 --> 00:36:08,733 GO THROUGH EVERY DRAWER. 1182 00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:09,601 I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL. 1183 00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,102 IF MY DAUGHTER WAS NOT THERE. 1184 00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:12,537 I WOULD BE DOING IT ANYWAY. 1185 00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:13,738 I WOULD BE PULLING THE BED UP. 1186 00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,206 I WAS CHECKING, I WAS TRYING TO 1187 00:36:15,206 --> 00:36:17,308 BE LIKE, LISTEN, IT'S 1188 00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:17,776 RIDICULOUS. 1189 00:36:17,776 --> 00:36:19,444 I CANNOT ACT THIS WAY ABOUT 1190 00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:19,711 SPIDERS. 1191 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:21,179 >> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY, IF YOU 1192 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,580 HEAR DADDY SCREAMING AND WETTING 1193 00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:23,682 HIMSELF, THEN YOU WILL KNOW 1194 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:25,684 THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOM AND 1195 00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:26,451 YOU SHOULD RUN. 1196 00:36:26,451 --> 00:36:27,318 >> EXACTLY. 1197 00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,386 IT'S TRUE. 1198 00:36:28,386 --> 00:36:30,455 TAKE YOUR CUE FROM ME, HONEY. 1199 00:36:30,455 --> 00:36:30,722 OKAY. 1200 00:36:30,722 --> 00:36:33,158 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT 1201 00:36:33,158 --> 00:36:34,325 IMMERSING YOURSELF IN SPIDERS. 1202 00:36:34,325 --> 00:36:37,629 WOULD YOU PLAY SPIDERMAN IF THEY 1203 00:36:37,629 --> 00:36:37,962 WANTED YOU TO? 1204 00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:38,596 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 1205 00:36:38,596 --> 00:36:39,164 IT'S FUNNY. 1206 00:36:39,164 --> 00:36:41,566 I HAD A LOT OF WEIRD RUN‐INS 1207 00:36:41,566 --> 00:36:42,567 WITH SPIDERS. 1208 00:36:42,567 --> 00:36:44,436 OUT OF NOWHERE, I HAVE ALMOST 1209 00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,871 SAT ON A RED BACK SPIDER. 1210 00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:50,742 I SLEPT UNDER A BUSH OF 1211 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:55,847 TARANTUALS IN AUSTRALIA. 1212 00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,248 AND ONCE IN URUGUAY, A SPIDER 1213 00:36:57,248 --> 00:36:59,517 FLIPPED SOMETHING ON ME AND GAVE 1214 00:36:59,517 --> 00:37:00,652 ME A SWOLLEN EYE. 1215 00:37:00,652 --> 00:37:02,287 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE BEING CHASED 1216 00:37:02,287 --> 00:37:04,756 BY SPIDERS. 1217 00:37:04,756 --> 00:37:07,025 >> SPIDERS PLAGUE MY LIFE. 1218 00:37:07,025 --> 00:37:08,827 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SPIDERS AND 1219 00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:09,027 TICKS. 1220 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:11,429 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, THE SHOW 1221 00:37:11,429 --> 00:37:12,697 IS GREAT, IT'S CALLS "FARGO," 1222 00:37:12,697 --> 00:37:15,333 SEASON FOUR. 1223 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:15,967 THANKS, JACK, WE WILL BE RIGHT 1224 00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:16,968 BACK WITH JEWEL. 1225 00:37:23,308 --> 00:37:24,743 >> MUSIC ON "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" 1226 00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:25,376 IS PRESENTED BY CROWN ROYAL, WHO 1227 00:37:25,376 --> 00:37:26,010 IS HELPING SUPPORT BARS, CLUBS 1228 00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:28,813 AND STAGES IN DANGER OF BEING 1229 00:37:28,813 --> 00:37:30,215 LOST FOREVER. VISIT 1230 00:37:30,215 --> 00:37:32,217 "MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG" TO 1231 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:33,384 LEARN MORE. 1232 00:37:33,384 --> 00:37:34,586 I WANT TO THANK AMY ADAMS AND 1233 00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,788 JACK HUSTON, APOLOGIES TO 1234 00:37:36,788 --> 00:37:37,088 MATT DAMON. 1235 00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:38,223 WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. 1236 00:37:38,223 --> 00:37:38,890 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST, 1237 00:37:38,890 --> 00:37:42,761 CELEBRATING THE 25th ANNIVERSARY 1238 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:43,361 OF HER ALBUM, "PIECES OF YOU" 1239 00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:44,295 WITH THIS BOX SET. 1240 00:37:44,295 --> 00:37:48,800 FROM THE SHERIDAN OPERA HOUSE IN 1241 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:57,842 TELLURIDE, COLORADO, JEWEL! 1242 00:37:57,842 --> 00:38:04,783 ♪ 1243 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:08,052 ♪ PEOPLE LIVIN' THEIR LIVES FOR 1244 00:38:08,052 --> 00:38:08,620 YOU ON TV THEY SAY THEY'RE 1245 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:12,757 BETTER ♪ 1246 00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,526 ♪ THAN YOU AND YOU AGREE HE SAYS 1247 00:38:14,526 --> 00:38:15,994 "HOLD MY CALLS FROM BEHIND 1248 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:16,761 THOSE ♪ 1249 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:20,131 ♪ COLD BRICK WALLS" SAYS "COME 1250 00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:20,765 HERE BOYS THERE AIN'T NOTHING ♪ 1251 00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:26,471 ♪ FOR FREE" ANOTHER DOCTOR'S 1252 00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:32,076 BILL A LAWYER'S BILL ♪ 1253 00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:35,480 ♪ ANOTHER CUTE CHEAP THRILL YOU 1254 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,748 KNOW YOU LOVE HIM IF YOU PUT IN 1255 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:40,018 YOUR WILL ♪ 1256 00:38:40,018 --> 00:38:44,455 ♪ BUT WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS 1257 00:38:44,455 --> 00:38:50,728 WHEN IT COMES ♪ 1258 00:38:50,728 --> 00:38:51,262 ♪ TO THE FLOWERS? 1259 00:38:51,262 --> 00:38:52,430 WHO, WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS ♪ 1260 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:56,167 ♪ AFTER THOSE LIES THAT YOU 1261 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:56,434 TOLD, BOY? 1262 00:38:56,434 --> 00:39:00,438 AND WHO WILL ♪ 1263 00:39:00,438 --> 00:39:01,072 ♪ SAVE YOUR SOULS IF YOU WON'T 1264 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:03,007 SAVE YOUR OWN? ♪ 1265 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:08,479 ♪ LA DA DE DA DE DA LA DA DA DA 1266 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:17,121 DA ♪ 1267 00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:20,024 ♪ NOW SOME ARE WALKING, SOME ARE 1268 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:22,393 TALKING, SOME ARE STALKING THE 1269 00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:22,760 KILL. 1270 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,062 YOU HAVE THE SO‐CALLED SOCIAL 1271 00:39:24,062 --> 00:39:25,597 SECURITY, BUT THAT DON'T PAY 1272 00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:28,099 YOUR BILLS BECAUSE THERE'S 1273 00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:30,001 ADDICTIONS TO FEED AND MOUTHS TO 1274 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:30,335 PAY ♪ 1275 00:39:30,335 --> 00:39:32,537 ♪ BARGAIN WITH THE DEVIL SO YOU 1276 00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:33,771 ARE OKAY TODAY ♪ 1277 00:39:33,771 --> 00:39:39,777 ♪ TAKE THAT MONEY BE AND RUN 1278 00:39:39,777 --> 00:39:42,380 ♪ ONE OF THOSE THINGS THOSE 1279 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,482 STRINGS, THOSE RINGS, THOSE 1280 00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:49,520 STRINGS, THOSE RINGS, THOSE 1281 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:49,787 STRINGS ♪ 1282 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:50,555 ♪ 1283 00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:52,790 ♪ THE COPS WANT SOMEONE TO BUST 1284 00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:57,495 DOWN ON ORLEANS AVENUE ♪ 1285 00:39:57,495 --> 00:40:01,799 ♪ WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS WHEN 1286 00:40:01,799 --> 00:40:04,469 IT COMES TO THE MEMORIES ♪ 1287 00:40:04,469 --> 00:40:04,636 ♪ 1288 00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:07,639 ♪ SAVE YOUR SOUL AFTER ALL OF 1289 00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,375 THOSE LIES YOU TOLD ♪ 1290 00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:16,814 ♪ WHO IS SAFE 1291 00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:33,498 ♪ SAVE YOUR SOUL 1292 00:40:33,498 --> 00:40:36,734 ♪ IF YOU WON'T SAVE YOUR OWN 1293 00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:47,545 ♪