>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE."
TONIGHT, TIM ALLEN. STACEY ABRAMS.
AND SMUSIC FROM ARI LENNOX. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
THANKS, EVERYBODY. HERE WE ARE AGAIN.
ME HERE, YOU AT HOME, GUILLERMO ON A STOOL.
HOW YOU DOING WITH THIS SHOPPING, GUILLERMO?
YOU FINISHED YOUR CHRISTMAS HOPPING?
>> Guillermo: NO, I JUST BOUGHT ONE CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
>> Jimmy: FOR WHO?
>> Guillermo: MY SON.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S IT? ANYTHING FOR YOUR WIFE THIS.
>> Guillermo: NO, NOT YET.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE NICE TO GET YOUR WIFE FOR
CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR?
>> Guillermo: A CHILL PILL.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO SAY, NAPKIN RINGS.
BUT YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BY THE WAY, LAST NIGHT OUR DAUGHTER, JANE, WHO IS 6 YEARS
OLD, WAS MISBEHAVING SO MY WIFE, MOLLY, SENT HER TO HER ROOM R.
AFTER A FEW MINUTES MY WIFE WENT UP THE STAIRS TO CHECK ON HER.
SHE OVERHEARS JANE TALKING TO HER ELF ON THE SHELF SAYING, "I
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, ELF, YOU THINK I'M A BAD KID, BUT I'M
NOT, MY MOM'S THE BAD ONE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"HELP ME, ELFIE ONE KENELFI." DONALD TRUMP KNOWS WHAT HE'S
GETTING HIS LOVED ONES FOR CHRISTMAS, ASSUMING HE'S CAPABLE
OF LOVE. ACCORDING TO AXIOS, HE'S BEEN
TALKING ABOUT HANDING OUT PARDONS AS IF THEY WERE
CHRISTMAS GIFTS AT THE CHRISTMAS. HE REPORTEDLY TOLD ONE INSIDER
HE'S GOING TO PARDON EVERY PERSON WHO EVER TALKED TO ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SORRY, MELANIA, I GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.
TRUMP IS SAID TO BE KEEPING A PARDON LIST, AND HAS BEEN
TELLING PEOPLE HE MIGHT ADD THEM TO IT. THIS IS FUNNY.
ONE SOURCE SAYS TRUMP OFFENDED A MEMBER OF HIS STAFF BY OFFERING
THAT PERSON A PARDON EVEN THOUGH THE PERSON DIDN'T COMMIT ANY
CRIMES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW, I ASSUMED SINCE YOU WERE HERE, WORKING FOR ME.
FINE, NO PARDON FOR YOU, THEN. THE BIG QUESTION IS WILL TRUMP
BE ALLOWED TO PARDON HIMSELF? HE MUST THINK SO BECAUSE HE'S
STILL TRYING TO PUT THE SQUEEZE ON STATE OFFICIALS.
YESTERDAY WE LEARNED HE DIALED THE REPUBLICAN SPEAKER OF THE
HOUSE IN PENNSYLVANIA, NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE, OVER THE PAST WEEK,
TO ASK HIM TO REVERSE THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION.
THIS IS WHERE WE ARE AS A COUNTRY RIGHT NOW.
OUR PRESIDENT IS COLD CALLING STATE REPRESENTATIVES, ASKING
THEM TO THROW THE ELECTION HIS WAY, LIKE IT'S A BEAUTY PAGEANT
OR SOMETHING. OVER THE WEEKEND, A GROUP OF
ARMED SO "STOP THE STEAL" PROTESTERS GATHERED AROUND THE
HOUSE OF THE MICHIGAN SECRETARY OF STATE AND LAST NIGHT THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY IN ARIZONA TWEETED A CLIP OF RAMBO, ASKING
PEOPLE IF THEY'RE WILLING TO DIE FOR THIS FIGHT.
SO THE PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER GOING REALLY WELL SO FAR.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
TODAY WHAT IS THEY CALL V‐DAY IN THE UK.
THE VACCINE IS OUT THERE, AND THE FIRST TO GET THE SHOT WAS A
90‐YEAR‐OLD WOMAN NAMED MARGARET KEENAN.
YOU THINK THEY'D HAVE GIVEN IT TO THE QUEEN FIRST, BUT I GUESS
NO, THEY WANTED TO TRY IT OUT ON SOMEONE WHO ISN'T THE QUEEN.
AND MARGARET, GOD BLESS HER, DIDN'T SEEM THE SLIGHTEST BIT
NERVOUS ABOUT IT AT ALL.
>> YOU'RE THE FIRST TO RECEIVE THIS VACCINE. HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
>> I'M SO VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY.
THIS IS GOING TO BE ON THE TELLY.
>> YES, MA'AM.
>> THEN I'D LIKE TO SAY TO MY SON, GEOFFREY, PISS OFF, I'M
STILL NOT COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS, YOU BLOODY COCK‐UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
MARGARET KEENAN IS NOW ‐‐ SHE'S AN OVERNIGHT SENSATION ALL OVER
THE WORLD. IT'S LIKE SHE GOT THE GOLDEN
TICKET. SHE GOT A CHEERY SEND‐OFF FROM
THE STAFF AT THE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE GOT THE SHOT.
ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL, THEY DROPPED HER OFF
AT PICADILLY CIRCUS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHERE A LARGE CROWD GATHERED TO WATCH HER BUST IT TO SOME CURTIS
BLOW. SO SHE'S DOING WELL. TURNS OUT THE VACCINE IS JUST A
VERY HIGH‐GRADE COCAINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
THE SECOND PERSON TO RECEIVE THE VACCINE, AND BEFORE I SHOW THIS,
THIS IS REAL. WE DIDN'T MESS WITH THIS OR MAKE
IT UP. VACCINE RECIPIENT NUMBER TWO IS
PERHAPS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF ENGLAND.
>> THE SECOND PERSON TO RECEIVE THE JAB THIS MORNING WAS
81‐YEAR‐OLD WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WAS HIS BLOOD TYPE "BE" OR NOT "BE"? THANK YOU.
WIMBLEDON BACK TO LIFE, BILL. MAYBE WE'LL FINALLY GET A SEQUEL
TO "MacBETH." WE LEARNED FROM "THE NEW YORK
TIMES" OVER THE SUMMER THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION REFUSED AN OFFER
FROM FEES TORE PREORDER ADDITIONAL DOSES OF THE VACCINE,
SO THOSE ADDITIONAL DOSES, WHICH COMMITTEE COULD HAVE USED, ARE
NOW SET TO GO TO OTHER COUNTRIES. OOPS.
SO TODAY TO COVER HIMSELF TRUMP SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER THAT
SEEMS TO HAVE CONFUSED EVEN THE GUY HE HAS RUNNING "OPERATION
WARP SPEED."
>> CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS EXECUTIVE ORDER THE PRESIDENT'S
GOING TO BE PUTTING OUT? I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND IT.
HE'S SAYING FOREIGN COUNTRIES AREN'T GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET
THE VACCINE UNTIL EVERYBODY IN THE UNITED STATES GETS IT?
IT SOUNDS LIKE THE PROBLEM IS THE OPPOSITE, PFIZER HAS MADE
DEALS WITH OTHER COUNTRIES THAT ARE GOING TO LIMIT THE SUPPLY
HERE.
>> FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW. AND FRANKLY, I'M STAYING OUT OF
THIS. I CAN'T COMMENT.
>> YOU DON'T KNOW?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> BUT YOU'RE THE CHIEF SCIENCE ADVISER FOR "OPERATION WARP
SPEED."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OUR WORK IS ROLLING, WE HAVE PLANS. WE FEEL WE CAN DELIVER THE
VACCINES AS NEEDED. SO I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
THIS ORDER IS ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: WELL, AT LEAST HE WAS HONEST, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, THAT'S REASSURING. 43 MORE DAYS, EVERYBODY.
AS YOU KNOW, RUDY GIULIANI TESTED POSITIVE OVER THE
WEEKEND, AND TODAY WE LEARNED THAT TRUMP'S OTHER LAWYER, JENNA
ELLIS, SEEN HERE SEATED VIRUS ADJACENT, HAS COVID TOO.
DID SHE GET IT FROM MAYOR TOOTTY? WE'LL NEVER KNOW, I GUESS.
ELLIS WAS SPOTTED AT THE WHITE HOUSE STAFF CHRISTMAS PARTY ON
FRIDAY. THERE SHE IS, NO MASK, NO BRAIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SENIOR TRUMP OFFICIALS ARE SAID TO BE UPSET THAT SHE WAS AT THE
PARTY. WELL, WHY WERE THEY AT THE PARTY?
WHY DID YOU HAVE A PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE?
BUT OF COURSE, THIS JENNA ELLIS JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, SHE
TWEETED, THERE IS NO PANDEMIC. SO I'M STARTING TO THINK THE
VIRUS MAY HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT ALL THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS THE OTHER THING SPREADING AROUND.
YOU HEARD ABOUT THE MONOLITH? THE MONOLITHS POPPING UP ALL
OVER THE WORLD. ON NOVEMBER 18th, A METAL WHAT
THEY CALL MONOLITH, IT'S REALLY JUST A TALL RECTANGULAR THING
WAS FOUND OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE UTAH DESERT.
NO ONE KNOWS WHY IT WAS THERE OR HOW IT GOT THERE.
BUT AROUND THAT SAME TIME, ANOTHER MONOLITH APPEARED ON A
HILLSIDE IN ROMANIA. THEN ON WEDNESDAY, THEY
DISCOVERED ANOTHER METAL STRUCTURE ON PINE MOUNTAIN NOT
FAR FROM US IN SAN LUIS OBISPO. SINCE THEN, MONOLITHS HAVE BEEN
POPPING UP IN COLOMBIA, THE NETHERLANDS, THE UK, LAS VEGAS.
MULTIPLE PLACES IN COLORADO. THERE ARE MORE MONOLITHS THAN
STARBUCKS RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND OF COURSE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHAT'S
GOING ON? SO WE REACHED OUT TO THE
PUBLICIST FOR THIS MONOLITH, AND HERE NOW TO EXPLAIN IT IS THE
MONOLITH HIM OR HERSELF. HELLO, MONOLITH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HEY! JIMMY! GOOD TO SEE YOU, MY MAN!
WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?
>> Jimmy: WELL, SOME OF BOTH, I GUESS, REALLY.
GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.
>> NICE, NICE.
>> Jimmy: I GUESS MY FIRST QUESTION FOR YOU, MONOLITH, IS
WHAT ARE YOU?
>> WELL, THAT'S THE MILLION‐DOLLAR QUESTION, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> YOU KNOW, LIKE ‐‐ LIKE WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING, JIMMY, YOU ARE KILLING IT.
>> Jimmy: OH, WELL THANK YOU. IRAPPRECIATE THAT.
AGAIN, I'M INTERESTED IN YOU AND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU.
>> LOOK. I'M ‐‐ A MYSTERY. AM I THE THING FROM 2001:A
SPACED ONDY"? MAYBE. AM I SOME KIND OF VIRAL
MARKETING STUD TO SELL IHOP'S NEW PANCAKES? MAYBE.
OR AM I A WORK OF ART THAT MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING
BESIDES YOURSELF FOR A MINUTE?
>> Jimmy: WELL, WHICH OF THOSE THINGS ARE YOU? CU
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NONE OF THEM! I'M AN OMEN FOR TELLING THE END
OF HUMANITY. AND I'M ON A WORLD TOUR!
>> Jimmy: HOLD ON, I WANT TO GO BACK FOR ONE SECOND, WHAT WAS
THAT THAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE END OF HUMANITY?
>> OH, YOU GUYS HAVE ABOUT TWO LUNAR CYCLES LEFT, TOPS.
WHILE YOU WERE ALL LOCKED INSIDE, I'M OUT ON THE ROAD,
LOKI, SEEING THE SIGHTS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT SIGHTS EXACTLY ARE YOU SEEING?
>> OH, CHECK MY INSTA.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> I POPPED OVER TO AMSTERDAM TO SEE WHAT ALL THE KUSH WAS ABOUT,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
>> Jimmy: YES. YES, I DO. UH‐HUH. OKAY.
>> YEAH. WEED.
>> Jimmy: YES, WEED, I WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT, YES.
>> THEN I SWUNG BY PERU. YOU KNOW, TO SEE WHAT THIS MODEL
I'VE BEEN DM'ing ‐‐ AND WHILE I WAS DOWN THERE, I STOOD
PERFECTLY STOOL AMONG THE RUINS AT MACHU PICCHU AND DRIPPED
BLOOD OR WHATEVER.
>> Jimmy: SEE, THAT SCARES ME, MONOLITH.
>> HA. IT SCARED A LOT OF PEOPLE, JIMMY.
KYLIE JENNER GAVE IT A LIKE.
>> Jimmy: KYLIE JENNER? WAIT, ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR
LIKES?
>> NO. NO, I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR LIKES.
I'M DOING IT FOR CORPORATE TIE‐INS.
I AM HERE FOR A LIMITED TIME, AND THE McRIB IS TOO.
>> Jimmy: I SEE, ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TRAVELS, MONOLITH.
>> GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TRAVELS, BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY, THANK YOU. THAT'S THE MONOLITH.
THANK YOU, MONOLITH.
>> SEE YOU IN THE FIRES OF HELL, JIMMY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. DID YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS
GOING ON THERE? THAT WAS THE MONOLITH.
>> Guillermo: YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> Jimmy: COST US LIKE $30,000.
>> Guillermo: OH MY GOD, WHY SO EXPENSIVE?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. BACK TO THE DONOLITH.
WE ARE ON DAY 35 OF SQUATTERGATE. DONALD TRUMP HAS YET TO CONCEDE
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE HE'S FINALLY STARTING TO COME AROUND.
>> WHY NOT INCLUDE MEMBERS OF THE BIDEN TRANSITION TEAM AS
PART OF THIS SUMMIT YOU'RE HOSTING TODAY?
>> WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEE WHO THE NEXT ADMINISTRATION IS.
BECAUSE WE WON. IN THE SWING STATES.
AND THERE WAS TERRIBLE THINGS THAT WENT ON.
SO WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEE WHO THE NEXT ADMINISTRATION IS.
>> Jimmy: OH, WAIT, HE'S NOWHERE NEAR COMING AROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN FACT, HE'S ABOUT A WEEK AWAY FROM CLAIMING JOE BIDEN WAS BORN
IN KENYA. BUT DONALD TRUMP IS, BELIEVE IT
OR NOT, A SENSITIVE MAN. THAT'S WHY HE CAN'T COME TO
TERMS WITH LOSING. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S LIKE THIS.
MAYBE HIS PARENTS DIDN'T SHOW HIM LOVE, MAYBE HE WAS RAISED BY
A HOUSEKEEPER WHO PUT HIM IN THE HAMPER WHEN HE CRIED, I DON'T
KNOW. BUT IT'S THE HOLIDAYS, SO I
DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO SAY HELLO, LET HIM KNOW IN
PERSON THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CARES.
>> DONALD, WHO IS IT?
>> IT'S CAROL SEGERS.
>> WHO IS THIS CAROL SINGER? ONE OF YOUR HOOKERS?
>> NO. CAROL SINGERS. THEY COME TO YOUR DOOR AND SING
ABOUT THE BABY MESS SIGH YEAH.
>> WHO GIVES A [ BLEEP ]? CHRISTMAS TALK.
♪ ALL IS CALM ALL IS BRIGHT
♪ ROUND YON VIRGIN MOTHER AND
CHILD ♪
♪
>> I HAD ENOUGH, I'M LEAVING YOU, DONALD!
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WAIT. YOU CAN'T READ, CAN YOU?
>> NO, READING'S FOR LOSERS.
♪ CHRIST THE SAVIOR IS BORN
CHRIST THE SAVIOR IS BORN ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I TRIED. I TRIED.
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
STACEY ABRAMS IS ON THE SHOW WITH US TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM ARI LENNOX. BE RIGHT BACK WITH TIM ALLEN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, SHE IS THE
FOUNDER OF "FAIR FIGHT," WORKING HARD TO WIN THE SENATE IN
GEORGIA, STACEY ABRAMS IS WITH US LATER ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN, WITH A PERFORMANCE FROM THE 930 CLUB IN WASHINGTON,
D.C., THIS IS THE SONG "IF YOU WANT ME TO STAY."
IT IS A COLLABORATION WITH AUNTHNY RAMOS AND CROWN ROYAL,
MUSIC FROM ARI LENNOX TONIGHT. ARI AND DOWN ROYAL HAVE TEAMED
UP TO HELP SAVE AMERICA'S FAVORITE CLUBS, BARS AND STAGES.
FIND OUT MORE BY GOING TO MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG.
TOMORROW NIGHT, MUSIC FROM ANDRE INDRIS, AND TOOIL TANNER AND
STURGILL SIMPSON. PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
A GOLDEN GLOBE WINNING ACTOR, TV HANDYMAN, AND THE WORLD'S
GREATEST CLASSIC ASTRONAUT, THE SEASON PREMIERE "LAST MAN
STANDING" AIRS JANUARY 3rd ON FOX.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO TIM ALLEN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY.
>> COME ON!
>> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN TESTED, I'VE BEEN MILKED.
>> OH, GOD.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU GREETING PEOPLE?
>> DID YOU SAY MILKED?
>> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN MILKED A FEW TIMES, YES.
>> TESTED, MILKED.
>> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? THANKS FOR COMING IN TO BE HERE.
HOW ARE YOU GREETING PEOPLE NOW? I STILL HAVE THIS WEIRD THING,
EVEN THOUGH WITH ELBOWS, I FEEL LIKE ‐‐ I KNOW YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO, I FEEL LIKE THERE HAS TO BE A TOUCH, A BUMP.
>> I DID A THING. THIS IS A ‐‐ ODDLY ENOUGH, I GOT
INVOLVED IN THIS EXOTIC CAR THING FOR CHARITY.
IT WAS A FERRARI CLUB.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> IN MICHIGAN. THEY WERE LIKE, DIDN'T KNOW ‐‐ I
SAID, THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? TO BE DRIVING CARS AND STEERING
WHEELS? THEY'RE ALL WIPED DOWN AND
EVERYTHING. WHEN YOU GOT THERE, EVERYBODY
WAS, HEY, TOOL MAN, I LOVE IT! I KEPT DOING, HEY!
>> Jimmy: I KNOW.
>> HEY! ONE GUY AFTER ANOTHER.
NO ONE NOTICED. HEY! WOW, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?
>> Jimmy: DID YOU HIDE THE PURELL?
>> NO, IT WAS RIGHT OUT, A HUGE BOTTLE, FERRARI LOGO AND
EVERYTHING. THE GUY SAID, OH, HE GOES,
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE PLANDEMIC.
>> Jimmy: AH.
>> I'M, I HOPE YOU MISPRONOUNCED THAT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS STUFF.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE BACK AT WORK NOW?
>> BACK AT WORK AT THE SAME ‐‐ THE SAME SITUATION WHERE I SAID,
THEY'VE TAKEN THE SHOW OUT OF SHOW BUSINESS.
YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR WORK AND THE LIGHTING GUY'S GOT TO COME
IN, SEPARATE ‐‐ IT'S DISNEY PROTOCOLS AND THEY'RE DOING IT
TO SAVE EVERYBODY'S LIFE AND ALL OF THAT, IT'S JUST ‐‐ IT'S
WEIRD. OUR SHOW IS BASED ON ‐‐ IT'S
LIKE THEATER BUT IT'S STANDUP. WE LOVE OUR LIVE AUDIENCE SHOW.
NOT THERE.
>> Jimmy: NO LIVE AUDIENCE.
>> NO LIVE AUDIENCE, SO WE HAVE A BUNCH OF PENALTY BOXES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT FIRST TIME YOU DID IT, HOW DID YOU ‐‐
>> IT WAS VERY SAD. DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ‐‐ IT WAS DRY.
NO ONE KNEW WHAT TO DO. WE HAVE PAID LAUGHERS IN PENALTY
BOXES.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THEY'RE JUST UP IN THESE BOXES.
AND THEN THEY WERE GETTING DRY AFTER A WHILE.
SO WE HAD A PAID WARMUP GUY TO WARM UP THE PAID LAUGHERS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE GOING, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
COME ON, PEOPLE, LET'S GO, COME ON!
>> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S LIKE A HOOKER PAYING FOR SEX.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT. HEY, COME ON, IT WASN'T THAT
FUNNY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE THAT ARE ‐‐ WHY DO THEY FEEL LIKE IF
THEY PAY THE PEOPLE THAT IT'S OKAY?
>> HOW DO YOU GET THE JOB?
>> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU?
>> I CAN LAUGH AT ANYTHING! LITERALLY ANYTHING!
OH, YOU'RE GOOD! THAT'S GREAT! YOU SHOULD GET A JOB AS A PAID
LAUGHER! I'VE WORKED WITH THESE PEOPLE
ALL DURING THE WEEK. NOW WE'VE GOTTEN INTO A RHYTHM.
AND THEY ACTUALLY ARE LAUGHING AT IT. BUT THEY WATCHED EVERY REH
REHEARSAL, THROUGH PROTOCOLS. ONCE YOU GET INTO THE SET, YOU
CAN'T LEAVE. WE'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE
THERE ALL WEEK. IT'S DIFFERENT. BUT WE'VE GOTTEN USED TO IT.
I'M MORE SAD ABOUT, THIS IS OUR NINTH SEASON AND I DON'T WANT
TO ‐‐ I'D PREFER IT NOT END THIS WAY.
>> Jimmy: SURE, YEAH, OF COURSE NOT, OF COURSE NOT.
>> IF THE VACCINATION WORKS, MAYBE THE LAST FOUR EPISODES
WOULD GET OUR LOVE PRODUCT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S HARD TO TELL WHAT'S FUNNY ANYMORE.
NOT ONLY IS THERE DOOM IN THE AIR, PEOPLE ARE WEARING ‐‐
EVERYBODY'S DRESSED LIKE BOBA FETT NOW.
>> DOOM IN THE AIR?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE QUITE LITERALLY IS DOOM IN THE AIR.
>> DOOM IN THE AIR, WOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> LITTLE GERMETTES.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL SEE, I DON'T KNOW, TELL RUDY GIULIANI IT'S A
LITTLE DRAMATIC.
>> I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND.
>> Jimmy: BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS, THOUGH, IT'S LIKE PEOPLE
CAN'T EVEN HEAR YOU. YOU CAN'T SEE PEOPLE'S LIPS.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING IN A NURSING HOME.
I CAN'T HEAR ANYONE. THEY CAN'T HEAR ME.
IT'S TERRIBLE.
>> I GET IT, I GET IT. THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S
REALLY TAKEN THE SHINE OUT OF IT. COMEDY'S REALLY HARD TO DEAL
WITH RIGHT NOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK IT'S HARDER THAN BEING A DOCTOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT IF YOU'RE A FUNNY DOCTOR?
>> Jimmy: OH, MAN, THEY'RE REALLY SCREWED.
YOU'RE PATCH ADAMS? THEY'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
>> YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FUNNY AND LOOKING FOR PROSTATE TROUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BEFORE YOU HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK, WHERE WERE YOU,
HERE? L.A.?
>> IN L. A. WE GOT UP TO BAD ‐‐ OUR LAST
SHOW OF THE SEASON. MONDAY, WE SHOOT TUESDAY.
MONDAY, IT WAS COMING ON. NO ONE WANTED TO COME IN THE
NEXT DAY. DISNEY DIDN'T WANT TO OPEN IT UP.
WE DIDN'T SHOOT OUR LAST SHOW. THEN MY KID, IT WAS ON SPRING
BREAK, IF YOU ALL RECALL. ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE SAYS, WE'LL
BE BACK AFTER THIS, THIS WILL PROBABLY GET BETTER IN MAY OR
JUNE. BOOM. NOTHING. SO WE WENT BACK TO OUR COTTAGE
IN MICHIGAN.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
>> AND IT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NICE.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU OUT IN THE MIDDLE ‐‐ OH, WAS IT?
>> IT'S A SMALL HOUSE, A COUPLE OF WEEKS IN THE SUMMER.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IF YOU GET IN THERE WITH A ‐‐ I'M BLESSED, I HAVE A GREAT
FAMILY. BUT YOU GET AND UP YOU GO, OH,
YOU AGAIN. IT'S THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SOLITUDE?
>> NO, NO. IN THE MIDDLE OF A SMALL TOWN.
AND IT WAS A SMALL TOWN. THEY DIDN'T ‐‐ THEY WEREN'T ‐‐
MICHIGAN'S DIFFICULT TO PINPOINT. THEY WERE KIND OF REBELLING
AGAINST IT, AND IT'S NOT THAT BAD. SOME PEOPLE, DON'T YOU CARE
ABOUT OLD PEOPLE? OF COURSE WE DO.
THE NEXT‐DOOR NEIGHBOR, 90‐YEAR‐OLD DUTCH WOMAN, SHE WAS
ALWAYS IN HER YARD, I DON'T WANT TO GET THE RASH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE WHOLE SUMMER, I DON'T WANT THE RASH!
AND I GO, I LIKE THE WORD RASH, MAKES IT SEEM LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐
STAY OVER THERE, I'LL BRING SOME SMOKED HERRING OVER, BUT I DON'T
WANT THE RASH! WHATEVER THAT IS.
>> Jimmy: YOU BROUGHT A PHOTOGRAPH ‐‐ I ASSUME THIS IS
YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW. THIS IS YOUR STUDIO.
THIS IS YOUR ZOOM ROOM?
>> IT'S THIS BUSINESS. EVENTUALLY I WAS, YOU KNOW ‐‐
PEOPLE WANT ‐‐ I DO SOME INTERVIEWS ON ‐‐.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU GO, THIS LOOKS TERRIBLE.
YOU REALIZE THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS BUSINESS THAT DO THIS STUFF.
I'VE GOT TO CALL MY LIGHTING GUY. I SAW ALL PEOPLE, AL ROKER, HOW
DOES THAT DUDE LOOK SO GOOD? WHERE IS HE?
THAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU LOOK AT. HIS BACKGROUND LOOKED GOOD.
I CALL MY PEOPLE AT APPLE. WELL, WE SEND THESE KITS OUT.
NOT THE VOICE, THE SINGING SHOW, BLAKE SHELTON.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH.
>> HOW DOES HE LOOK GOOD AT HIS HOUSE?
>> Jimmy: HE ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> EVEN IN PERSON HE LOOKS GOOD. THEY SENT TWO CAMERAS.
THEY SAID, WE'LL HAVE TWO iPHONE 11s.
I DON'T HAVE TWO WHEN YOU HAVE TO THIS, THIS ‐‐ I SET UP THE
STUDIO. BUT NOW I'M LIKE A NUT. EVERY TIME MY WIFE'S ON WITH HER
FAMILY, I'M IN THE ROOM GOING, NO, HONEY, LET ME GET THIS.
>> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF BEING A NUT, CAN I SEE ‐‐ IT APPEARS YOU
HAVE A MICROSCOPE IN THAT STUDIO?
>> MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOWED YOU THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU WORKING TO FIND A CURE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS?
>> I AM A FASCINATING GUY. I HAVE A MICROSCOPE AND A
PERIODIC CHART BACK THERE.
>> Jimmy: I NOTICED.
>> I TELL MY KIDS THE ONLY WAY TO SOLVE A PROBLEM IS YOU'VE GOT
TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT. EVERY TIME YOU DO SOMETHING, I
WANT HER TO LOOK THROUGH A MICROSCOPE IF WE CAN FIGURE IT
OUT. BASICALLY I'VE GOT THIS THING,
SCIENCE FICTION BOOK, "CHILDREN OF TIME." IT'S ABOUT SPIDERS.
I'M FASCINATED BY SPIDERS. AND IF I KILL THEM BY MISTAKE ‐‐
I WILL NOT KILL SPIDERS, THEY'RE ALL GIRLS BY THE WAY, MOST OF
THEM.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> THE BIG ONES ARE. I MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM, MY
FAMILY HATES IT. I TALK TO INSECTS.
BECAUSE I GOT TIME. I GOT TIME. YOU GET CLOSE TO THEM.
I TAKE PICTURES. IF THEY DIE IRK PUT THEM UNDER
THE MICROSCOPE, I SHOW MY YOUNGEST THAT THEY'RE SCARY AS
HELL.
>> Jimmy: THYME AIM ALLEN IS A LONELY MAN.
THE SHOW IS "LAST MAN STANDING." MORE TIM WHEN WE RETURN, WE'LL
BE RIGHT BACK. BE RIGHT BACK.
>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT TO YOU
BY MY WALGREENS. THE ALL NEW EASIER WAY TO SHOP.
SAVE AND STAY WELL.
>> I HAD THIS TV SHOW FOR EIGHT YEARS CALLED "TOOL TIME."
>> YET HERE YOU ARE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT RAN EIGHT YEARS, THEY CALLED ME THE TOOL MAN.
>> OH, OH, UH.
>> OH, OH! KIND OF A THING. BECAUSE IT WAS, YOU KNOW, MAN,
OH, OH. OH? OH, OH!
>> LITTLE ANNOYING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS TIM TAYLOR FROM "HOME IMPROVEMENT."
WITH MIKE BAXTER FROM "LAST MAN STANDING."
MEETING IN SOME KIND OF MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE TYPE OF
SITUATION.
>> THEY CALLED THE EPISODE "DUAL TIME."
>> Jimmy: DUAL TIME, THAT'S GOOD.
>> IT WAS PITCHED TO ME, A STANDALONE EPISODE, THE TWO GUYS
MEET. THEN IT GETS INTO THIS WEIRD
WORLD ‐‐ THE ONLY OTHER CHARACTER I'VE DONE THIS WITH IS
BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. SOMETIMES I SAY, BUZZ WOULDN'T
SAY THAT. INEVITABLY PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME
HOW TO GRUNT. THE WRITERS ARE GOING, CURIOUS
GRUNT! THEY WRITE IT. THEY SAY, THAT'S A CURIOUS GRUNT?
I GOT SO INTO IT, TIM TAYLOR, I GOT SO INTO IT, TIM TAYLOR,
NUMBER ONE, I'M NOT SURE HE TRANSLATES TO MIKE BAXTER.
IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO BE THE TWO GUYS.
BECAUSE I DID MOST OF THE SCENES, OBVIOUSLY ‐‐ DID ONE
SIDE, DID THE OTHER SIDE. WHAT'S TIM TAYLOR LIKE NOWADAYS?
I GOT WAY INTO THIS.
>> Jimmy: HIS HAIR'S WHITE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S ONE OF THE BETTER JOKES IN THERE.
TAYLOR GOES, WE LOOK JUST LIKE EACH OTHER, EXCEPT I DON'T COLOR
MY HAIR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT WAS REALLY CLEVER. IT'S A STANDALONE EPISODE.
I APPRECIATE SO MUCH THAT THESE WRITERS CAME UP WITH IT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S FUN, YEAH.
>> IT WAS REAL FUN TO BRING TIM TAYLOR TO ‐‐ IT'S STANDALONE,
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REGULAR EPISODES.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING ANOTHER SHOW FOR HISTORY CHANNEL WITH
RICHARD CARN. THE IDEA OF THE SHOW IS A GREAT
IDEA. CORRECT ME IF I HAVE THIS WRONG.
PEOPLE, WORKERS, BUILDERS, ET CETERA, FIX THINGS.
>> I'VE ALWAYS BEEN FASCINATED BY MY CREW ON BOTH SHOWS WHERE I
BRING STUFF FROM HOME. THIS TOASTER.
I DON'T WANT TO GET A TOASTER, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS TOASTER?
IT'S ALWAYS AMAZED ME. IT'S ALWAYS A LITTLE THING.
I LOVE PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN THAT TAKE STUFF APART INSTEAD OF
THROWING STUFF OUT. THEY CAN MAKE IT BETTER, EVEN.
LET'S GET A SHOW WHERE WE CELEBRATE THE WOMEN AND MEN,
PEOPLE THAT SOLVE PROBLEMS. UNLIKE IN POLITICS AND
EVERYTHING ELSE. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE ‐‐
GIVE ME THE DETAILS AGAIN, LET ME GO FIX IT, OR AT LEAST TRY TO
FIX IT. THEN WE FOUND ‐‐ IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE DONE IN A WIG STUDIO WHERE WE SET UP.
INSTEAD WE HAD TO GO TO THEIR HOMES BECAUSE IT WAS COVID.
IT TURNED OUT TO BE EVEN MORE INTERESTING, TO ME.
THE BIG SIDE OF IT WAS, I'M OUT OF MY MIND BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF
A REALITY SHOW. SO THERE'S NO END TO IT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> YOU'RE IN A THING, PRETTY SON I'M OUT OF MY MIND, I'M
SWEATING. THE DIRECTOR'S GOING, YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION. I GO, WHEN DOES IT STOP?
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE GOES, YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH 90‐MINUTE BUILDS.
WHEN DO WE GO TO THE BATHROOM? WHEN DO I EAT?
>> Jimmy: WHERE'S THE SNACK TABLE?
>> CARN WAS GREAT AND HE WOULD CALL ME DOWN.
WE'RE ACTING LIKE REAL PEOPLE, THAT'S WHAT IT FELT LIKE.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HOSTING THIS. IT TURNED OUT SO DRAMATIC.
YOU GET PEOPLE THAT REALLY CAN FIX STUFF.
AND ME, I WANTED TO GO AT ONE POINT ‐‐ MAYBE WE WILL IN THE
FUTURE. WE'VE SHOT 10 EPISODES. IT'S AMAZING WHAT THE MEN AND
WOMEN WE FOUND, ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, THAT CAN DO STUFF.
AMAZING STUFF. AND THEY DON'T SAY NO.
THEY GO, "LET ME FIGURE IT OUT." I WANTED TO THROW ‐‐ BECAUSE I'M
SO DISHEARTENED BY THE HOMELESS IN LOS ANGELES.
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> I'VE WORKED AT THE MIDNIGHT MISSION DOWNTOWN.
ANYTHING I CAN DO, AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT TO DO.
I WONDERED IF YOU TOOK PEOPLE THAT BUILD STUFF WHAT WOULD YOU
DO, HOW WOULD YOU AT LEAST CHIP AWAY AT THIS INSTEAD OF THROW
MONEY AT IT OR TALK ABOUT IT? YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS HERE AND
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.
>> Jimmy: IT AS VERY, VERY COMPLEX SUBJECT, YES.
>> YES. WHAT IF A PERSON THAT WAS A ‐‐
LET ME JUST FIX ‐‐ INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT IT, THEY JUST DUG
IN. JUST GIVE THEM ALL TENTS WITH
PHONES IN THEM OR ANYTHING, JUST ONE IDEA TO MOVE IT FORWARD AND
HAVE FACILITIES, OR I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT, GIVE ME SOME IDEAS
WHAT I CAN DO WITH IT RATHER THAN JUST CHAT ABOUT IT.
LITERALLY IN MY AREA, IT'S SO FRUSTRATING TO WATCH.
>> Jimmy: "HOMELESS IMPROVEMENT." JUST AN IDEA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I LIKE IT.
>> Jimmy: THE SHOW IS CALLED "LAST MAN STANDING."
JANUARY 3rd ON FOX. AND "ASSEMBLY REQUIRED" COMING
TO HISTORY CHANNEL. TIM ALLEN, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
BE RIGHT BACK WITH STACEY ABRAMS!
>> GUILLERMO, WHY ARE YOU WRAPPING YOUR HAND WHEN IN HAM?
>> I GOT A BLISTER AND WE ARE OUT OF BANDAGES.
>> WHY DON'T YOU USE MY
WALGREENS?
THEY CAN HAVE THEM READY FOR YOU IN AS LITTLE AS 30 MINUTES.
THERE YOU GO, GOOD AS NEW.
>> NOW CAN YOU DO THIS ONE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. ARI LENNOX IS ON THE WAY.
A COUPLE OF MOMENTS AGO THE AT STROKE OF MIDNIGHT OUR NEXT
GUEST TURNED ANOTHER YEAR OLDER. ALL SHE WANTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY
IS TWO SEATS IN THE U. S. SENATE.
THE GEORGIA RUNOFF IS ON JANUARY 5th.
PLEASE WELCOME STACEY ABRAMS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I AM WELL, THANK YOU. I LOVE YOUR IDEA FOR A BIRTHDAY
PRESENT.
>> Jimmy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BY THE WAY, STACEY.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Jimmy: AM I THE FIRST OR HAVE YOU BEEN WISHED A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ALREADY?
>> YOU ARE THE FIRST TO DO IT AS OF THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT, YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: VERY EXCITING. MAY I ASK HOW OLD YOU ARE ON
THIS BIRTHDAY?
>> I AM NOW 47 YEARS OLD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU DEMAND ARY COUNT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> GIVEN THE EVIDENCE THAT'S PILED UP OVER THE LAST 46 YEARS,
I THINK I WOULD HAVE A SIMILAR LOSING STREAK TO DONALD TRUMP.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S TOUGH HAVING A BIRTHDAY IN DECEMBER.
YOU HAVE TO COMPETE WITH JESUS AND SANTA CLAUS AND EVERYBODY.
>> AND SISTER. MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY WAS SUNDAY.
I GOT HER FIRST BUT HERS IS DAYS BEFORE ME.
>> Jimmy: WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO.
HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU THINK PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS TO LOSE
GEORGIA BEFORE HE CONCEDES? WE'RE UP TO THREE ALREADY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M OFFERING A FOURTH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS, BUT REPUBLICANS SEEM TO
BE SOMEWHAT OBSESSED WITH YOU. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VIDEO.
>> LET ME SAY YOU KNOW THING, GOVERNOR KEMP IS NO DIFFERENT
THAN STACEY AN RAMS. SHE DID THIS CONSENT DECREE.
>> REPUBLICANS SIMPLY HAVE TO TURN OUT MORE VOTES THAN STACEY
ABRAMS CAN STEAL.
>> FOR WHATEVER REASON, YOUR SECRETARY OF STATE AND YOUR
GOVERNOR ARE AFRAID OF STACEY ABRAMS. THEY'RE AFRAID OF HER.
>> Jimmy: NOW, WHY ‐‐ DO YOU AGREE THAT THEY ARE AFRAID OF
YOU?
>> I DON'T TRY TO PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF THEIR MINDS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO BE VERY NICE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WOULD BE AFRAID.
>> I'M ‐‐ I WANT ONE THING. THAT IS FOR EVERY ELIGIBLE VOTER
TO BE ABLE TO CAST THEIR BALLOT, FOR THAT BALLOT TO GET COUNTED.
APPARENTLY THEY DON'T WANT EVERYONE TO BE COUNTED, THEY
DON'T WANT EVERYONE TO VOTE. WE JUST DISAGREE.
AND I WOULD SAY THAT THE REST OF AMERICA AGREES WITH ME. SO YAY.
>> Jimmy: YES, YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I THINK PROBABLY ALMOST ALL OF AMERICA AGREES WITH THAT
PRINCIPLE, BUT THEY ARE GETTING MANY CONFUSING MESSAGES.
ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT GOVERNOR KEMP HAS NOT KIND OF CAPITULATED
TO THE PRESIDENT'S DEMANDS?
>> THIS ISN'T ABOUT HEROISM OR STRENGTH. THIS IS ABOUT THE LAW.
A NUMBER OF LAWSUITS HAVE BEEN FILED THAT HAVE FORCED THE HAND
OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE AND THE CONSTITUTION PRECLUDES THE
GOVERNOR'S INTERVENTION. WE KNOW THAT VOTER SUPPRESSION
IS REAL. IN FACT ACTION WE WERE ABLE TO
PROVE IT IN A COURT. I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT, "OUR
TIME IS NOW." I DID A FILM ABOUT IT, "ALL IN,
THE FIGHT FOR DEMOCRACY." WE'VE GOT EVIDENCE, THEY HAVE
NONE. AND THE PROBLEM IS, YOU HAVE A
HARD TIME WINNING AN ARGUMENT WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO
PROOF THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED. BUT I DON'T GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR
HEROISM, I GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR BEING AFRAID OF THE LAW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
AND REALLY FOR THE PRINCIPLES ON WHICH THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED,
THAT WE EACH HAVE A VOTE AND WE HAVE A DEMOCRACY.
WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED THAT WOULD BE CHALLENGED IN ANY WAY?
NOW WE HAVE THE RUNOFF ELECTION THAT IS ON JANUARY 5th.
IT COMES DOWN TO THESE TWO SEATS THAT WOULD TIP THE BALANCE OF
THE U. S. SENATE. AND THERE YOU ARE.
AND AGAIN, YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE ARE
ABLE TO VOTE AND THAT EVERYTHING IS DONE FAIRLY.
WAS THE FIRST ELECTION DONE FAIRLY?
>> YES, IT WAS. WE HAVEN'T DEFEATED VOTER
SUPPRESSION, LET'S BE CLEAR. IT STILL EXISTS.
IN FACT, REPUBLICANS HERE IN GEORGIA ARE ALREADY DISCUSSING
HOW THEY CAN REINTRODUCE IT COMING IN JANUARY WHEN THE
LEGISLATIVE SESSION STARTS AGAIN. BUT FOR NOW, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO
MAKE IT EASIER FOR ELIGIBLE VOTERS TO CAST THEIR BALLOTS.
AND NEARLY 5 MILLION OF THEM DID. AND BIDEN WON.
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THEY FORCED A RUNOFF, AND I BELIEVE
WARN NOVEMBER WILL ALSO WIN BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE HAVE A
CHOICE BETWEEN TWO EXISTING SENATORS WHO PLUNDERED AND
PROFITED DURING THIS PANDEMIC, AND TWO WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING
BUT SERVE THE PEOPLE, I THINK THE PEOPLE OF GEORGIA WILL MAKE
THE RIGHT CHOICE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OBVIOUSLY THIS WAS AN EXHAUSTING CAMPAIGN.
AND WE'RE REALLY ‐‐ REALLY PULLED OUT ALL THE STOPS TO GET
PEOPLE TO VOTE. DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE
FIRED UP IN GEORGIA, THAT THEY ARE READY TO DO THIS, THAT THEY
WANT TO CAST THEIR VOTES?
>> WE HAD A WONDERFUL STATISTIC THAT CAME OUT TODAY OF THE MORE
THAN 1 MILLION ABSENTEE BALLOTS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN REQUESTED.
70,000 ARE FROM PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE IN NOVEMBER.
AND THEY ARE DISPROPORTIONATELY YOUNG AND DISPROPORTIONATELY
PEOPLE OF COLOR. THESE ARE THE FOLKS WHO ARE THE
LEAST LIKELY TO TURN OUT, AND THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT'S AT STAKE
AND THEY NEED TO SHOW UP AND FAIR FIGHT IS THERE WITH THEM TO
MAKE SURE THEIR VOTES GET COUNTED.
>> Jimmy: I GUESS THIS IS ONE OF THE GOOD ‐‐ THE SILVER LINING TO
ALL OF THE CRAZINESS THAT HAS GONE ON IS THAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE
GETTING OUT AND VOTING IN NUMBERS THAT THEY HAVEN'T BEFORE.
YOU'RE HAVING A TV SHOW CAST REUNION YOU'RE A PART OF FOR THE
SHOW "SUPERNATURAL," WHICH WAS ON WITH THE CW? WB?
WAS THAT A CW SHOW?
>> IT WAS BOTH. 15 SEASONS. THEY CROSSED OVER.
>> Jimmy: AND IS THIS A SHOW THAT YOU LOVE?
WHY ARE YOU INVOLVED IN "SUPERNATURAL"?
>> I STARTED WATCHING "SUPERNATURAL" DURING MY PRIMARY
IN 2017, BECAME HOOKED. I'VE NOW BINGE WATCHED EVERY
SINGLE SEASON. I'M THREE EPISODES AWAY FROM THE
END, PLEASE DON'T SPOIL ANYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT IS THE MOST FANTASTIC SHOW AND I LOVE IT.
>> Jimmy: WILL YOU HAVE WATCHED THE FINALE BY THE TIME THE CAST
REUNION HAPPENS?
>> I WILL NOT. BUT I WILL PLUG MY EARS AND HUM
TO MYSELF IF THEY START SAYING ANYTHING I DON'T WANT TO KNOW
YET.
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T CRAM THREE EPISODES IN BETWEEN NOW AND THEN?
>> WELL, I'M TALKING TO YOU, I'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY TO
CELEBRATE, I'VE GOT TWO SENATE SEATS TO WIN.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I UNDERSTAND. WERE THEY CONFUSED WHEN YOU
CALLED THEM AND SAID YOU WANT E THIS?
>> ACTUALLY, THEY REACHED OUT TO ME.
I TALKED ABOUT THEM, ACTUALLY IN AN INTERVIEW I THINK WITH EITHER
"TIME" MAGAZINE ‐‐ I THINK IT WAS "TIME" MAGAZINE, TALKED
ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVED THE SHOW. I AM KNOWN TO OCCASIONALLY TWEET
OUT MY AFFECTION FOR TELEVISION SHOWS THAT I ADORE.
I THINK THEY SAW ME, REACHED OUT. ONCE I FINISHED SQUEALING
INTERNALLY I RESPONDED WITH A PROFESSIONAL TONE, "WE'D LOVE TO
HAVE YOUR SUPPORT OF FAIR FIGHT."
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S UNUSUAL TO BE INVOLVED IN AN ELECTION IN
A STATE THAT YOU DON'T LIVE IN. BUT HOW CAN AND IS IT
APPROPRIATE FOR PEOPLE TO BE INVOLVED IN AN ELECTION IN
GEORGIA WHO DON'T LIVE THERE?
>> THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN GO. GO TO GASENATE.COM.
ALSO GO TO HELPWINGEORGIA.COM. BOTH THOSE WEBSITES HELP YOU
EITHER CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORK THAT WE'RE DOING TO TURN OUT
THOSE VOTERS WHO NEED THE MOST HELP GETTING BACK TO THE POLLS
AND HELPWINGEORGIA.COM TELLS YOU HOW YOU CAN SIGN UP TO BE A
VOLUNTEER. ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO DO,
WE'LL HELP YOU GET DIRECTED TO DO IT. PLEASE STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
SEND YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT BUT KEEP YOURSELF AT HOME, COVID IS
REAL, WE WANT EVERYONE TO BE SAFE WHEN WE WIN THIS ELECTION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS FOR ALL THE WORK THAT
YOU'RE DOING. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, JIMMY. IT'S BEEN DELIGHTFUL.
>> Jimmy: STACEY ABRAMS, EVERYONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE'LL BE BACK BUSINESS ARI LENNOX!
>> Dicky: MUSIC ON "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" IS PRESENTED BY CROWN
ROYAL WHO'S HELPING SAVE BARS, CLUBS AND STAGES IN DANGER OF
BEING LOST FOREVER. VISIT MAINSTREET ALLIANCE TO
LEARN MORE.
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO TIM ALLEN AND STACEY ABRAMS.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST,
WITH THE SONGS "CHOCOLATE POMEGRANATE" AND "IF YOU WANT ME
TO STAY," FROM THE 9:30 CLUB IN
WASHINGTON D. C., ARI LENNOX!
♪
♪ OH OH OH OH
♪ JAY HANGING OFF
YOUR BROWN LIPS LEAN OVER EXHALE INTO MY KISS ♪
♪ PROBLEMS WEIGHING YOU DOWN
I POWER LIFT I JUST WANT
SOME MORE OF THIS ♪
♪ KISS IT FOR ME
MORE ON MY MIND THAT I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLORE THIS TIME ♪
♪ FLIP ME OVER
DON'T TAKE ME AS UNKIND I NEED YOU TO FALL BEHIND ♪
♪ TRY ME IN PUBLIC
BUT I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE NO ONE'S GONNA RIDE
AND LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪
♪ OOH‐OOH
OH, CHOCOLATE POMEGRANATE COME LIVE IN THIS TRUTH ♪
♪ NO ONE'S GONNA RIDE
AND LOVE YOU LIKE I DO
OOH‐OOH ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT ME TO STAY
I'LL BE AROUND TODAY TO BE AVAILABLE
FOR YOU TO SEE ♪
♪ I'M ABOUT TO GO
AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW FOR ME TO STAY HERE
I GOT TO BE ME ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER BE IN DOUBT
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU CAN'T TAKE ME
FOR GRANTED AND SMILE ♪
♪ COUNT THE DAYS I'M GONE
FORGET REACHIN' ME BY PHONE BECAUSE I PROMISE
I'LL BE GONE FOR A WHILE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU SEE ME AGAIN
I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE KIND OF PERSON
THAT YOU REALLY ARE NOW ♪
♪ YA GOT TO GET IT STRAIGHT
HOW COULD I EVER BE LATE WHEN YOU'RE THE WOMAN
TAKING UP MY TIME ♪
♪ WHOA, OH HOW COULD
YA EVER ALLOW I GUESS I WONDER HOW ♪
♪ HOW COULD YA
GET OUT A POCKET FOR FUN ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KNOW THAT
YOU'RE NEVER NUMBER TWO NUMBER ONE'S GONNA
BE NUMBER ONE ♪
♪ OHH OWW OOHH
♪ I'LL BE GOOD
I WISH I COULD GET THIS MESSAGE OVER TO YOU NOW ♪
♪
♪ OH BABY YEAH YEAH
♪ WHEN YOU SEE ME AGAIN
I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE KIND OF PERSON
THAT YOU REALLY ARE NOW ♪
♪ I'LL BE SO GOOD
I WISH I COULD GET THIS MESSAGE
OVER TO YOU NOW ♪
♪