1 00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:02,679 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE." 2 00:00:02,679 --> 00:00:06,383 TONIGHT, POST MALONE. KAWHI LEONARD. 3 00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:11,201 MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:12,515 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 5 00:00:12,515 --> 00:00:16,953 >> Jimmy: HI, THAT'S ME. HI, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST. 6 00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:18,521 THANKS FOR WATCHING. OH, WE HAVE A LOT OF 7 00:00:18,521 --> 00:00:23,126 ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU TONIGHT. SOME MIGHT EVEN SAY TOO MUCH, 8 00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:23,826 RIGHT, GUILLERMO? 9 00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:24,694 >> Guillermo: RIGHT, JIMMY. 10 00:00:24,694 --> 00:00:27,330 >> Jimmy: I'M TIRED. OUR 3‐YEAR‐OLD, TUESDAY NIGHT HE 11 00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:30,667 WOKE UP, HE WOKE ME UP, HE WAS YELLING FROM HIS BEDROOM. 12 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:33,069 SO I WENT IN AND HE SAID, MY BLANKET IS OFF. 13 00:00:33,069 --> 00:00:36,706 I HAD TO PUT THE BLANKET ON HIM. I GO BACK TO BED. 14 00:00:36,706 --> 00:00:39,042 TWO HOURS LATER I HEAR HIM AGAIN SCREAMING. 15 00:00:39,042 --> 00:00:42,645 AGAIN, MY BLANKET IS OFF. I PUT THE BLANKET ON HIM AGAIN. 16 00:00:42,645 --> 00:00:45,748 THEN LAST NIGHT BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO PUT 17 00:00:45,748 --> 00:00:49,218 HIS BLANKET ON HIMSELF. I SAID, DON'T WAKE ME UP AGAIN, 18 00:00:49,218 --> 00:00:52,622 I'M SLEEPING, HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT. I SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO IT, I 19 00:00:52,622 --> 00:00:56,292 MADE HIM DO IT, HE DID IT. I SAID, DON'T WAKE ME UP FOR 20 00:00:56,292 --> 00:00:58,294 YOUR BLANKET. HE SAID HE WOULDN'T. 21 00:00:58,294 --> 00:01:01,631 WE GO TO SLEEP, FINE. 1:00 THIS MORNING, DAD! 22 00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:07,503 I'M SOUND ASLEEP. I STUMBLE IN HIS ROOM, WHAT? 23 00:01:07,503 --> 00:01:14,210 HE SAYS, IN THE MORNING FOR 24 00:01:14,210 --> 00:01:16,779 "BREFKAST," I WANT PANCAKES. 25 00:01:16,779 --> 00:01:17,981 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 26 00:01:17,981 --> 00:01:22,552 OH, GOOD, IT'S 1:00, WAKE YOUR AUNT JEMIMA UP WITH THIS 27 00:01:22,552 --> 00:01:23,252 NONSENSE. 28 00:01:23,252 --> 00:01:23,586 [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:01:23,586 --> 00:01:26,889 WE'RE ONE HANUKKAH AWAY FROM CHRISTMAS. 30 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:27,223 [ LAUGHTER ] 31 00:01:27,223 --> 00:01:30,293 THE U. S. POSTAL SERVICE SAYS THEY'RE EXPERIENCING MAJOR 32 00:01:30,293 --> 00:01:32,328 DELAYS. TURNS OUT SOME IDIOT UPROOTED A 33 00:01:32,328 --> 00:01:34,597 LOT OF THE MAILBOXES JUST BEFORE ELECTION DAY. 34 00:01:34,597 --> 00:01:35,031 [ LAUGHTER ] 35 00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:40,770 WE ARE NOW ON DAY 43 OF SQUATTERGATE. 36 00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:45,008 POUTUS IS NOT HAPPY. HE IS SAID TO BE THROWING A 37 00:01:45,008 --> 00:01:46,643 [ BLEEP ] TANTRUM. 38 00:01:46,643 --> 00:01:49,779 I DID NOT CURSE, FOR SOME REASON THEY BLEEPED IT WITHOUT MY 39 00:01:49,779 --> 00:01:51,614 PERMISSION. RIGHT, GUILLERMO? 40 00:01:51,614 --> 00:01:52,548 >> Guillermo: RIGHT, JIMMY. 41 00:01:52,548 --> 00:01:55,885 >> Jimmy: HE HAS REPORTEDLY TOLD SOME ADVISERS HE MIGHT REFUSE TO 42 00:01:55,885 --> 00:01:59,722 LEAVE THE WHITE HOUSE ON INAUGURATION DAY. 43 00:01:59,722 --> 00:02:02,358 AND THEN THEY HAVE TO TALK HIM DOWN FROM THE LEDGE. 44 00:02:02,358 --> 00:02:06,229 LAST NIGHT OUR PRESIDENT‐REJECT WAS UP VERY LATE LASHING OUT AT 45 00:02:06,229 --> 00:02:11,334 SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH McCONNELL. 46 00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:14,270 YESTERDAY McCONNELL OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED JOE BIDEN AS WINNER 47 00:02:14,270 --> 00:02:16,739 OF THE ELECTION. 12:48 A. M., RIGHT ABOUT WHEN MY 48 00:02:16,739 --> 00:02:19,542 SON ORDERED PANCAKES ‐‐ 49 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:19,875 [ LAUGHTER ] 50 00:02:19,875 --> 00:02:25,214 TRUMP TREATED, MITCH, 75 MILLION VOTES. 74, BY THE WAY. 51 00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:30,153 RECORD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT, TOO SOON TO GIVE UP, REPUBLICAN 52 00:02:30,153 --> 00:02:33,122 PARTY MUST SOON LEARN TO FIGHT, PEOPLE ARE ANGRY. 53 00:02:33,122 --> 00:02:37,527 BY PEOPLE, HE MEANS HIM, HE IS 18. RY POOR MITCH McCONNELL COULD 54 00:02:37,527 --> 00:02:40,930 BARELY SWALLOW HIS TURTLE FOOD THIS MORNING, HE WAS SO UPSET. 55 00:02:40,930 --> 00:02:41,263 [ LAUGHTER ] 56 00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:43,900 TRUMP HASN'T BEEN THIS ANGRY AT SOMEONE FROM KENTUCKY SINCE THE 57 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:48,838 TIME THE COLONEL FORGOT THE EXTRA GRAVY ON HIS MASHED 58 00:02:48,838 --> 00:02:51,474 POTATOES. THIS IS THE PART WHERE EVERYONE 59 00:02:51,474 --> 00:02:54,677 STARTS NOTICING THAT MAYBE A TESTICLE HAS APPEARED. 60 00:02:54,677 --> 00:02:57,780 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 61 00:02:57,780 --> 00:03:01,984 EVEN IF OLD CHEDDAR IN CHARGE DOES AGREE TO HIT THE ROAD, HE 62 00:03:01,984 --> 00:03:06,856 MAY NOT HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO. THE PLAN IS FOR TRUMP TO LIVE AT 63 00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:08,424 MAR‐A‐LAGO. HIS RESORT IN FLORIDA. 64 00:03:08,424 --> 00:03:10,593 BUT HIS NEIGHBORS DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. 65 00:03:10,593 --> 00:03:13,963 ACCORDING TO THEM IN THE EARLY '90s, TRUMP SIGNED AGREEMENT TO 66 00:03:13,963 --> 00:03:17,467 CHANGE MAR‐A‐LAGO FROM HIS PERSONAL RESIDENCE TO A PRIVATE 67 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:20,436 CLUB, WHICH MEANS HE'S TECHNICALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO 68 00:03:20,436 --> 00:03:22,505 RESIDE THERE. THEY'RE TELLING THE CITY HE 69 00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,540 CAN'T MOVE BACK IN. WHAT AN INTERESTING TURN OF 70 00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,275 EVENTS. THIS STARTED WITH DONALD TRUMP'S 71 00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:29,746 FATHER, MADE HIS FORTUNE EVICTING PEOPLE FROM THEIR 72 00:03:29,746 --> 00:03:33,783 HOMES, IT ENDS WITH HIS SON GETTING EVICTED FROM NOT ONE BUT 73 00:03:33,783 --> 00:03:36,052 TWO HOUSES IN ONE MONTH. 74 00:03:36,052 --> 00:03:36,419 [ LAUGHTER ] 75 00:03:36,419 --> 00:03:39,055 IN OTHER WORDS, GOD EXISTS AND HAS A VERY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR 76 00:03:39,055 --> 00:03:40,690 ABOUT ALL OF THIS. 77 00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:41,190 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 78 00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:45,595 I HOPE HE WINDS UP SHARING A DUPLEX IN NEW JERSEY WITH RUDY 79 00:03:45,595 --> 00:03:47,697 AND THE MY PILLOW GUY. 80 00:03:47,697 --> 00:03:48,030 [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:52,468 WITH 34 DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE TRUMP IS BUSY DECIDING WHO HE 82 00:03:52,468 --> 00:03:54,237 WILL PARDON AND WHAT THEY'LL GIVE HEM FOR IT. 83 00:03:54,237 --> 00:03:57,006 HE'S REPORTEDLY THINKING ABOUT REPORTING A SPECIAL COUNSEL TO 84 00:03:57,006 --> 00:03:59,408 INVESTIGATE HUNTER BIDEN AND HIS TAX RETURNS. 85 00:03:59,408 --> 00:04:03,412 HE IS SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN INVESTIGATING R. 86 00:04:03,412 --> 00:04:05,448 KELLY FOR SEX STUFF. 87 00:04:05,448 --> 00:04:05,781 [ LAUGHTER ] 88 00:04:05,781 --> 00:04:08,284 THERE'S A LOT AT STAKE HERE. IF IT TURNS OUT HUNTER BIDEN 89 00:04:08,284 --> 00:04:10,653 DID, IN FACT, CHEAT ON HIS TAXES? 90 00:04:10,653 --> 00:04:13,823 TRUMP WOULD THEN HAVE TO LEGALLY ADOPT HIM. 91 00:04:13,823 --> 00:04:14,156 [ LAUGHTER ] 92 00:04:14,156 --> 00:04:17,226 BUT WE'LL SEE. IN THE MEANTIME, THE PRESIDENT 93 00:04:17,226 --> 00:04:18,961 WILL CONTINUE TO WORK VERY HARD 94 00:04:18,961 --> 00:04:26,269 TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY AS THE PE 95 00:04:26,269 --> 00:04:31,207 PETTIEST BITCH THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN. 96 00:04:31,207 --> 00:04:31,707 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 97 00:04:31,707 --> 00:04:34,010 THE TRUMP/PENCE CAMPAIGN, MORE THAN A MONTH AFTER THE ELECTION 98 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:37,780 ENDED, SENT THIS EMAIL, IT SAYS, I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR 99 00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:41,484 YOU, OUR INCREDIBLE FIRST LADY, MELANIA TRUMP, HANDPICKED THE 100 00:04:41,484 --> 00:04:45,087 BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS FOR OUR BRAND‐NEW 2021 TRUMP CALENDAR. 101 00:04:45,087 --> 00:04:48,991 SHE SAID TO ME, DARLING, I WANT ALL OF YOUR BEST SUPPORTERS TO 102 00:04:48,991 --> 00:04:52,695 HAVE PRIORITY ACCESS TO GET THE CALENDAR FIRST. RIGHT. 103 00:04:52,695 --> 00:04:54,063 I'M SURE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID. 104 00:04:54,063 --> 00:04:55,164 [ LAUGHTER ] 105 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:59,402 ANYWAY, I WAS CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT PHOTOS MELANIA HANDPICKED 106 00:04:59,402 --> 00:05:01,437 SO WE ORDERED THE CALENDAR AND HERE IT IS. 107 00:05:01,437 --> 00:05:04,106 I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH IT. YOU CAN SEE THE COVER, THERE 108 00:05:04,106 --> 00:05:09,512 THEY ARE. ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER. OH, THERE'S THE PRESIDENT, AND 109 00:05:09,512 --> 00:05:11,881 HIS HAIR. THERE'S JUSTIN TRUDEAU, PRIME 110 00:05:11,881 --> 00:05:15,918 MINISTER OF CANADA. WHO CAN FORGET THAT MOMENT FROM 111 00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:16,919 MARCH. THERE'S THE ALMOST HANDHOLD. 112 00:05:16,919 --> 00:05:19,956 THERE'S, OH ‐‐ 113 00:05:19,956 --> 00:05:21,791 [ LAUGHTER ] 114 00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:26,863 ATHLETIC HUSBAND. OH, THERE ‐‐ THERE'S WATER. 115 00:05:26,863 --> 00:05:31,234 THERE'S THE SON. THERE'S TOILET PAPER. 116 00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:33,236 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 117 00:05:33,236 --> 00:05:36,305 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS A SPECIAL DAY. 118 00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:38,841 LOOK, LOOK WHO'S TOGETHER, THE BUDDIES. 119 00:05:38,841 --> 00:05:41,644 FINALLY, I HATE MY HUSBAND AND I HATE CHRISTMAS. 120 00:05:41,644 --> 00:05:44,647 WELL DONE, MELANIA, IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A NEW YEAR. 121 00:05:44,647 --> 00:05:44,980 [ LAUGHTER ] 122 00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:48,885 THIS COUNTRY HAS NEVER BEEN MORE DIVIDED, EVEN A DEADLY PANDEMIC 123 00:05:48,885 --> 00:05:51,420 DIDN'T BRING US TOGETHER. IN MANY WAYS IT'S PUSHED US EVEN 124 00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:54,423 FARTHER APART. REMINDS ME OF THE CHRISTMAS 125 00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:59,061 SPECIAL "THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS." REMEMBER THAT? 126 00:05:59,061 --> 00:06:04,567 THE HEAT AND SNOW MISER, BROTHERS, THEY HATED EACH OTHER 127 00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,970 SO MUCH, THEY HAD TO GET MOTHER NATURE TO INTERVENE TO SAVE 128 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,739 CHRISTMAS. THAT'S WHAT THE COUNTRY IS LIKE, 129 00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:11,040 FAMILIES DIVIDED AT CHRISTMAS TIME. 130 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,644 WE UPDATED THAT HOLIDAY CLASSIC FOR 2020 WHEN THIS IS WHAT THOSE 131 00:06:14,644 --> 00:06:19,181 TWO BROTHERS WOULD BE ARGUING ABOUT. 132 00:06:19,181 --> 00:06:23,819 ♪ 133 00:06:23,819 --> 00:06:27,123 ♪ I'M MR. LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE I'M 134 00:06:27,123 --> 00:06:29,191 MR. PC ♪ 135 00:06:29,191 --> 00:06:32,161 ♪ I'M MR. TRUMP'S HITLER I'M MR. 136 00:06:32,161 --> 00:06:33,863 YOU'RE TRIGGERING ME ♪ 137 00:06:33,863 --> 00:06:37,166 ♪ FOLKS CALL ME RADICAL LEFTY I 138 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:40,536 QUOTE SCIENCE FACTS ♪ 139 00:06:40,536 --> 00:06:43,105 ♪ AND WEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER 140 00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:43,539 HATS RAISE MY TAX ♪ 141 00:06:43,539 --> 00:06:46,909 ♪ 142 00:06:46,909 --> 00:06:50,346 ♪ HE'S MR. PUBLIC RADIO HE'S MR. 143 00:06:50,346 --> 00:06:51,747 BLUE ♪ 144 00:06:51,747 --> 00:06:56,052 ♪ HE'S MR. WAR ON CHRISTMAS HE'S 145 00:06:56,052 --> 00:06:58,788 MR. CANCEL YOU ♪ 146 00:06:58,788 --> 00:07:00,423 ♪ FOLKS CALL HIM SOCIALIST 147 00:07:00,423 --> 00:07:02,224 THINKS THE SYSTEM IS BROKE ♪ 148 00:07:02,224 --> 00:07:03,559 ♪ HE WILL NOT LAUGH AT YOUR JOKE 149 00:07:03,559 --> 00:07:05,795 HE'S SO WOKE ♪ 150 00:07:05,795 --> 00:07:13,302 ♪ 151 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:17,606 ♪ I'M MR. MAGA KAPPA I'M MR. 152 00:07:17,606 --> 00:07:19,008 TROLL ♪ 153 00:07:19,008 --> 00:07:22,345 ♪ I'M MR. NO MASKER I'M MR. 154 00:07:22,345 --> 00:07:22,878 BORDER PATROL ♪ 155 00:07:22,878 --> 00:07:27,216 ♪ FOLKS CALL ME HATE MONGER I 156 00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:30,920 LOVE OAN ♪ 157 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,990 ♪ AND I WEAR DEPENDS 158 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:37,293 ♪ 159 00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:41,797 ♪ HE'S MR. RACIST UNCLE HE'S MR. 160 00:07:41,797 --> 00:07:43,366 Q ♪ 161 00:07:43,366 --> 00:07:45,935 ♪ HE'S MR. RIGGED ELECTION HE'S 162 00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:48,070 MR. SNEEZES ON YOU ♪ 163 00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:53,609 ♪ FOLKS CALL HIM DEPLORABLE, 164 00:07:53,609 --> 00:07:54,010 AMERICA FIRST ♪ 165 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,245 ♪ HE CLAIMS THE VACCINE IS 166 00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:59,682 CURSED HE'S THE WORST ♪ 167 00:07:59,682 --> 00:08:05,821 >> DON'T SCREW THIS, SANTA IS MOVING TO CANADA! HO HO HO! 168 00:08:05,821 --> 00:08:06,255 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 169 00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:10,926 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 170 00:08:10,926 --> 00:08:12,461 THOUGHT THE NORTH POLE WAS IN CANADA. 171 00:08:12,461 --> 00:08:15,564 BY THE WAY, THIS IS SOMETHING. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT ONE OF 172 00:08:15,564 --> 00:08:18,734 OUR WRITERS FOUND AT CVS. I'M GOING TO GET A CLOSE LOOK 173 00:08:18,734 --> 00:08:21,570 HERE. IT'S AN ORNAMENT. YOU THINK, OH, THAT'S NICE, I 174 00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,873 CAN PUT A PICTURE OF MY GRANDMA ON IT. 175 00:08:23,873 --> 00:08:27,043 BUT YOU LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER, YOU CAN SEE WHAT'S ENGRAVED ON 176 00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:29,278 THE BOTTOM IS "ALWAYS REMEMBER 2020." 177 00:08:29,278 --> 00:08:32,181 [ LAUGHTER ] 178 00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:36,986 2020, THE YEAR OF THE DEAD GRANDMA CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT. 179 00:08:36,986 --> 00:08:37,319 [ LAUGHTER ] 180 00:08:37,319 --> 00:08:42,425 I WONDER IF THE MODEL IF THIS STOCK PHOTO HAD ANY IDEA SHE'D 181 00:08:42,425 --> 00:08:43,659 BE AN OLD DEAD LADY HANGING ON A TREE. 182 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:51,467 [ LAUGHTER ] 183 00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:56,272 >> Jimmy: IT ISN'T ALL GLOOM AND DOOM THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. 184 00:08:56,272 --> 00:09:00,076 FOR CHILDREN, AS WE SPEAK, SANTA IS STILL HARD AT WORK UP AT THE 185 00:09:00,076 --> 00:09:05,081 NORTH POLE, BUILDING PS5s OR WHATEVER THE HELL HE'S MAKING. 186 00:09:05,081 --> 00:09:08,184 TO HELP HIM, GUILLERMO AND I HAVE AN ANNUAL TRADITION. 187 00:09:08,184 --> 00:09:13,656 WE DO TEMP WORK AS ELVES TO HELP SANTA FIGURE OUT WHICH KIDS 188 00:09:13,656 --> 00:09:15,691 DESERVE WHAT. WE COULDN'T DO IT IN PERSON BUT 189 00:09:15,691 --> 00:09:19,095 WE HAVE COMPUTERS, SO WE BUCKLED UP OUR POINTY SHOES AND GOT DOWN 190 00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:25,468 TO CHRISTMAS BUSINESS FOR SANTA. HELLO, THERE. 191 00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:26,368 >> Guillermo: HI! 192 00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:29,472 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 193 00:09:29,472 --> 00:09:30,172 >> LINCOLN. 194 00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:32,775 >> Jimmy: HI, LINCOLN, MY NAME IS ELF JIMMY. 195 00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:35,744 THIS IS ELF GUILLERMO. WE WORK FOR SANTA CLAUS. 196 00:09:35,744 --> 00:09:42,051 WE'RE AT THE NORTH POLE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS? 197 00:09:42,051 --> 00:09:45,287 WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER, YOUR BIRTHDAY OR CHRISTMAS? 198 00:09:45,287 --> 00:09:45,654 >> CHRISTMAS. 199 00:09:45,654 --> 00:09:48,390 >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR. WE LOVE CHRISTMAS TOO. 200 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,325 >> Guillermo: WE LOVE CHRISTMAS. 201 00:09:49,325 --> 00:09:52,561 >> Jimmy: LINCOLN, TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF. 202 00:09:52,561 --> 00:09:53,229 HOW OLD ARE YOU. 203 00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:53,963 >> 5. 204 00:09:53,963 --> 00:09:56,899 >> Jimmy: 5 YEARS OLD. HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE 205 00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:58,667 THIS YEAR? 206 00:09:58,667 --> 00:09:59,000 >> NICE. 207 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:05,341 >> Jimmy: NICE. VERY NICE? EXTREMELY NICE? 208 00:10:05,341 --> 00:10:09,879 SO NICE IT SOMETIMES CIRCLES AROUND TO NOT NICE? 209 00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:12,014 OH, OKAY, GOOD. TELL US ABOUT SOME OF THE NICE 210 00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:13,582 THINGS THAT YOU DO. 211 00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:17,419 >> I PLAY WITH MY BROTHER, I HELP MY PARENTS. 212 00:10:17,419 --> 00:10:19,355 >> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR PARENTS? 213 00:10:19,355 --> 00:10:24,460 >> BY HELPING THEM COOK AND HELPING THEM DRINK WATER. 214 00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:24,827 [ LAUGHTER ] 215 00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:27,263 >> Jimmy: YOU HELP YOUR PARENTS DRINK WATER, THAT'S SO GOOD, 216 00:10:27,263 --> 00:10:30,966 BECAUSE IT'S SO IMPORTANT. SO MANY KIDS NOWADAYS DON'T HELP 217 00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:35,804 THEIR PARENTS DRINK WATER. 218 00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:36,505 >> I'M NOT WATER. 219 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,574 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT WATER? YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS WE ARE 220 00:10:38,574 --> 00:10:41,777 WATER, MOSTLY. 221 00:10:41,777 --> 00:10:42,211 [ LAUGHTER ] 222 00:10:42,211 --> 00:10:45,314 BUT THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING. ALL RIGHT. 223 00:10:45,314 --> 00:10:46,916 SO TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF THE NAUGHTY THINGS YOU'VE DONE THIS 224 00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:49,818 YEAR. 225 00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:52,688 >> I HITTED MY BROTHER ONCE A YEAR. 226 00:10:52,688 --> 00:10:55,758 >> Jimmy: ONCE A YEAR? WHEN DID YOU HIT HIM? 227 00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:57,359 >> THE DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY. 228 00:10:57,359 --> 00:11:00,663 >> Jimmy: THE DAY AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOU HIT YOUR BROTHER. 229 00:11:00,663 --> 00:11:00,996 [ LAUGHTER ] 230 00:11:00,996 --> 00:11:02,431 WHY DID YOU HIT HIM? 231 00:11:02,431 --> 00:11:05,167 >> HE CALLED ME NAMES. 232 00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,603 >> Jimmy: WHAT DID HE CALL YOU? 233 00:11:07,603 --> 00:11:09,505 >> BABIES. 234 00:11:09,505 --> 00:11:16,145 >> Jimmy: HE CALLED YOU BABIES. AND YOU'RE NOT A BABY. 235 00:11:16,145 --> 00:11:16,478 [ LAUGHTER ] 236 00:11:16,478 --> 00:11:19,081 WHO SHOULD GET MORE PRESENTS, YOU OR HIM? 237 00:11:19,081 --> 00:11:20,082 >> ME. 238 00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:22,218 >> Jimmy: OKAY. WHAT PRESENTS WOULD YOU LIKE 239 00:11:22,218 --> 00:11:24,720 THIS YEAR? 240 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:31,927 >> I LIKE A NEW BIKE AND A NEW SPIDER‐MAN SUIT. 241 00:11:31,927 --> 00:11:34,263 AND A NEW RACE CAR SET AND AN ELF SUIT. 242 00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:36,532 >> Jimmy: AN ELF SUIT? HOLD ON RIGHT THERE. 243 00:11:36,532 --> 00:11:39,001 WHY DO YOU WANT AN ELF SUIT? 244 00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:40,236 >> I DO NOT HAVE ONE YET. 245 00:11:40,236 --> 00:11:45,074 >> Jimmy: WOULD YOU LOVE TO COME WORK WITH US AT THE NORTH POLE? 246 00:11:45,074 --> 00:11:47,710 WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU. WE'RE ACTUALLY ACCEPTING 247 00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:48,410 APPLICATIONS RIGHT NOW. 248 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:51,480 >> Guillermo: IT'S VERY COLD. 249 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,948 >> IT'S VERY COLD? 250 00:11:52,948 --> 00:11:57,753 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S VERY COLD. DO YOU LIKE THE COLD? 251 00:11:57,753 --> 00:12:02,825 >> I HAVE SNOW JACKETS. AND SNOW PANTS AND SNOW HATS. 252 00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:06,428 >> Jimmy: GREAT. ARE YOU A SMOKER? 253 00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:07,830 >> UH‐HUH. 254 00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:08,163 [ LAUGHTER ] 255 00:12:08,163 --> 00:12:10,466 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE, YOU SMOKE? HOW MANY CIGARETTES DO YOU SMOKE 256 00:12:10,466 --> 00:12:16,105 EVERY DAY? 257 00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:16,972 >> FIVE. 258 00:12:16,972 --> 00:12:17,339 [ LAUGHTER ] 259 00:12:17,339 --> 00:12:19,708 >> Jimmy: FIVE CIGARETTES, ALL RIGHT, THAT'S NOT BAD. 260 00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:21,710 LET ME ASK YOU A COUPLE OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF. 261 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:25,814 ARE YOU A HARD WORKER? 262 00:12:25,814 --> 00:12:28,550 >> UH‐HUH. A VERY HARD WORKER. 263 00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:32,187 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE WE WORK VERY HARD HERE AT THE NORTH POLE. 264 00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:39,194 ARE YOU PROFICIENT IN MICROSOFT EXCEL? YEAH? OKAY. PHOTOSHOP? 265 00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:44,033 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SHOVEL REINDEER POOP? 266 00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:46,001 WE MIGHT HAVE A SPOT FOR YOU UP HERE. 267 00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:47,536 >> Guillermo: YEAH. I THINK HE MIGHT BE GOOD. 268 00:12:47,536 --> 00:12:51,073 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY, ON CHRISTMAS EVE, TRY 269 00:12:51,073 --> 00:12:53,075 TO STAY AWAKE. BECAUSE SANTA MIGHT WANT TO TALK 270 00:12:53,075 --> 00:12:57,746 TO YOU, OKAY? ALL RIGHT, GREAT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 271 00:12:57,746 --> 00:13:00,816 WE DECIDED TO DO, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE, WE SENT YOU A 272 00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:06,922 PRESENT EARLY THIS YEAR. THAT'S RIGHT. ARE YOU EXCITED? 273 00:13:06,922 --> 00:13:10,959 THERE IT IS. YOU WANT TO OPEN IT NOW OR DO 274 00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:13,829 YOU WANT TO WAIT? 275 00:13:13,829 --> 00:13:14,162 >> WAIT. 276 00:13:14,162 --> 00:13:18,400 >> Jimmy: WAIT TILL WHAT? CHRISTMAS? 277 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:23,105 WHY DON'T YOU OPEN IT NOW, SEE IF YOU LIKE IT? 278 00:13:23,105 --> 00:13:28,444 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? IT'S WATCH BATTERIES. 279 00:13:28,444 --> 00:13:28,777 [ LAUGHTER ] 280 00:13:28,777 --> 00:13:29,978 DO YOU HAVE A WATCH? 281 00:13:29,978 --> 00:13:30,579 >> NO. 282 00:13:30,579 --> 00:13:32,681 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE THOSE 283 00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,083 DOWN TO THE MALL AND SELL THEM. 284 00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:36,518 [ LAUGHTER ] 285 00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:40,022 ALL RIGHT, NICE TO MEET YOU, LINCOLN. MERRY CHRISTMAS! 286 00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:40,656 ENJOY THE WATCH BATTERIES! 287 00:13:40,656 --> 00:13:41,790 >> BYE! 288 00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:49,231 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 289 00:13:49,231 --> 00:13:53,502 >> Jimmy: THANKS, LINCOLN. WE GOT A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT. 290 00:13:53,502 --> 00:13:55,871 KAWHI LEONARD IS WITH US FROM THE CLIPPERS. 291 00:13:55,871 --> 00:13:58,974 MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI, AND BE RIGHT BACK WITH POST MALONE SO 292 00:13:58,974 --> 00:14:00,062 STICK AROUND! 293 00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:08,949 ♪ 294 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,886 >> Jimmy: HI THERE, WELCOME BACK. 295 00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:13,354 COMING UP, FROM THE LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS, THE GREAT 296 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:14,922 KAWHI LEONARD IS WITH US. 297 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,324 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 298 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,860 THEN LATER, HIS ALBUM IS CALLED "DIVINELY UNINSPIRED TO A 299 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,162 HELLISH EXTENT," LEWIS CAPALDI FROM HIS PANDORA LIVE SHOW. 300 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,665 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 301 00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:30,804 YOU CAN RSVP TO SEE A FULL SHOW WITH LEWIS THURSDAY NIGHT, THIS 302 00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:36,443 THURSDAY NIGHT, 9:00 EASTERN. GO TO LIVE.PANDORA.COM. 303 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,246 IS THURSDAY TOMORROW? BY THURSDAY I MEAN TOMORROW. 304 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:46,353 TOMORROW NIGHT ON OUR SHOW, OUR GUESTS ARE VIOLA DAVIS, DAVEED 305 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,256 DIGGS, MUSIC FROM THE BIRD AND THE BEE FEATURING DAVE GROHL, SO 306 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,092 JOIN US FOR THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST IS A 307 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,360 MULTI‐PLATINUM SELLING MUSICIAN, SONGWRITER, AND PRODUCER, WHOSE 308 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,829 STAGE NAME MEANS LITERALLY "AN HISTORICAL PERIOD AFTER MALONE." 309 00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:58,866 HIS ALBUM "HOLLYWOOD'S BLEEDING" AND SINGLE "CIRCLES" ARE 310 00:14:58,866 --> 00:15:01,602 NOMINATED FOR THREE GRAMMY AWARDS, AND YOU CAN SEE HIM 311 00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:04,805 HEADLINE THE "BUD LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE 312 00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:07,408 2021" LIVESTREAM EVENT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE. 313 00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:11,779 PLEASE WELCOME POST MALONE. 314 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:12,279 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 315 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:12,713 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 316 00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:13,814 >> HOW ARE YOU, SIR? 317 00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,950 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU. 318 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:16,850 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 319 00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,552 >> Jimmy: I'M HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW TONIGHT. 320 00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:22,756 BUT I HAVE TO SAY, NOT AS HAPPY AS MY DAD IS. 321 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:26,794 MY DAD, AND THIS IS NO JOKE, THIS IS NOT SOMETHING HE'S DONE 322 00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:29,897 FOR EFFECT, IS A VERY BIG FAN OF YOURS. 323 00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:32,399 HE INFORMED ME OF THIS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. 324 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:37,204 IN FACT, HE TEXTED THIS TO ME. "HEARD MY BUD POST IS ON THE 325 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:41,942 SHOW TOMORROW, SAY HI FOR ME, JUST LISTENING TO CIRCLES." 326 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:47,348 >> WHAT A LEGEND, YES, SIR, HE'S A BADASS. 327 00:15:47,348 --> 00:15:47,681 [ LAUGHTER ] 328 00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,216 MY DAD'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS AS WELL. 329 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,884 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S NICE, ALL RIGHT. 330 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,620 >> WE CAN TRADE OFF IF YOU'D LIKE. 331 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,488 >> Jimmy: YEAH, MAYBE EACH ONE OF THEM WOULD APPRECIATE US MORE. 332 00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:56,724 >> SURE, SURE. 333 00:15:56,724 --> 00:16:00,127 >> Jimmy: I HEARD YOUR DAD WAS A WEDDING DEEJAY, WHICH IS 334 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,595 SOMETHING I DID WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. 335 00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:05,065 I WAS ALSO A WEDDING DEEJAY. IS THAT CORRECT? 336 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:08,369 >> YEAH, YES, SIR. I THINK, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I WAS A 337 00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,804 LITTLE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING. 338 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,807 BUT I REMEMBER THOSE SIDEBURNS THAT HE HAD. 339 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,378 >> Jimmy: I HAD THOSE TOO. YOU HAD TO HAVE THEM. 340 00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:19,947 BECAUSE IT GAVE YOU SOMETHING, WHEN YOU HAD THE ONE HEADPHONE 341 00:16:19,947 --> 00:16:23,083 UP TO YOUR EAR, GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO RUB UP AGAINST IF 342 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:23,617 YOU HAD TO. 343 00:16:23,617 --> 00:16:27,087 >> YEAH, YOU NEVER KNOW. KEEPS THE HEADPHONES IN PLACE. 344 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,590 >> Jimmy: SO YOU WOULD NOT CREDIT THAT TO INSPIRING YOUR 345 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,358 LOVE FOR MUSIC? 346 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:34,094 >> I'M SURE. I'M SURE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO 347 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,865 WITH IT. YOU KNOW, I WAS ALWAYS AROUND 348 00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:41,001 MUSIC, FROM WHAT HE WAS PLAYING, A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING. 349 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:45,873 YOU KNOW, THAT JUST GAVE ME AN APPRECIATION, I GUESS, FOR 350 00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:48,308 EVERYTHING. AND ESPECIALLY LIKE WEDDING‐TYPE 351 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:48,641 MUSIC. 352 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,744 >> Jimmy: YEAH. WHEN YOU SAY WEDDING‐TYPE MUSIC, 353 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,681 WHAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD? WHAT POPS INTO MY HEAD, THE 354 00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:56,950 FIRST SONG IS "CELEBRATION" BY KOOL & THE GANG. 355 00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:57,284 [ LAUGHTER ] 356 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,318 >> YEAH, OF COURSE, STUFF LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW. 357 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,721 [ APPLAUSE ] 358 00:17:00,721 --> 00:17:04,024 >> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS? WHAT IS POST MALONE'S NUMBER ONE 359 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,060 FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OF ALL TIME? 360 00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:06,760 >> THAT'S ROUGH. 361 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,861 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S HARD. 362 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:12,399 >> IT IS HARD. I LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐ WHAT'S THE 363 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,634 ONE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT CHESTNUTS? 364 00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,703 >> Jimmy: ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE. 365 00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:16,103 >> THAT'S THE ONE. 366 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,540 [ LAUGHTER ] 367 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:19,873 [ APPLAUSE ] 368 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,675 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A CHESTNUT? 369 00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:26,513 >> I HAVE HAD A CHESTNUT. JIMMY, I THINK THEY TASTE 370 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:26,846 TERRIBLE. 371 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:27,180 [ LAUGHTER ] 372 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,682 >> Jimmy: DID YOU ROAST THEM OVER AN OPEN FIRE, THOUGH? 373 00:17:28,682 --> 00:17:32,386 >> NO, I THINK IT WAS OUT OF A BAG. I JUST ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A 374 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:33,887 LITTLE DIFFERENT OVER AN OPEN FIRE. 375 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,757 >> Jimmy: I THINK THE SONG WAS WRITTEN BEFORE WE HAD KIT KATS 376 00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:39,560 IS WHAT HAPPENED. PEOPLE USED TO THINK, OH, WOW, 377 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,494 THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. 378 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:45,032 >> I'M GOING TO MAKE MY NEW SONG "IT'S KIT KATS OVER AN OVER 379 00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:45,397 FIRE." 380 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,635 >> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. I HEARD YOU LIKE TO GO TO C 381 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,738 COSTCO. DID YOU GO TO COSTCO, THE ONE 382 00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:51,672 NEAR YOUR HOUSE? 383 00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:56,076 >> YES, SIR, THERE'S A COSTCO MAYBE 10 MINUTES FROM HERE. 384 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:59,680 I NEVER KNEW THE BEAUTY OF COSTCO, AND ONE DAY I WOKE UP 385 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:04,485 AND I HAD AN EPIPHANY. AND I WAS JUST LIKE, LET'S GO TO 386 00:18:04,485 --> 00:18:04,850 COSTCO. 387 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:05,185 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 388 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,321 >> GET UP, GET OUT OF BED, GO STRAIGHT TO COSTCO. 389 00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:10,791 I GOT MY MEMBERSHIP CARD. IT'S THE WORST PICTURE ON THE 390 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:13,026 BACK I'VE EVER SEEN. 391 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,262 [ LAUGHTER ] 392 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:15,963 BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 393 00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:18,832 >> Jimmy: IT IS. 394 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:19,466 >> HEAVEN. 395 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,368 >> Jimmy: IT IS. I COULD NOT POSSIBLY AGREE WITH 396 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:24,037 YOU MORE. WHEN I WALK INTO COSTCO, I LOOK 397 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:28,475 AROUND, I GO, OH, THIS IS WHY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HATES US. 398 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,877 [ LAUGHTER ] 399 00:18:29,877 --> 00:18:30,611 THIS IS IT. 400 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:31,111 >> YEAH. 401 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,080 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE EVERYTHING'S THERE. 402 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:37,985 AND IT IS ‐‐ I'VE BEEN A MEMBER SINCE 1994. 403 00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:43,490 SO MY MEMBERSHIP CARD IS ‐‐ MY PICTURE'S 26 YEARS OLD. 404 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,892 >> OLDER THAN ME. 405 00:18:44,892 --> 00:18:47,928 >> Jimmy: I LOOK LIKE MY OWN SON ON THE PICTURE. 406 00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:48,261 [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,363 BUT I LOVE IT, I DO. 408 00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:51,999 >> YEAH, NO. 409 00:18:51,999 --> 00:18:53,901 >> Jimmy: DO YOU WAIT IN LINE FOR THE SAMPLES OR DOES THAT NOT 410 00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:54,368 INTEREST YOU? 411 00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:59,106 >> I'M NOT A SAMPLE GUY. I'M NOT A VERY PATIENT GUY. 412 00:18:59,106 --> 00:19:00,007 >> Jimmy: ME NEITHER. 413 00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:03,710 >> I NEED TO GET OUT, GET MY GOODY SDMS I'M AGAINST SAMPLES 414 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,880 AND PEOPLE FIND THIS SHOCKING. IF YOU'RE AT COSTCO, THE PEOPLE 415 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,115 IN THE LINE JUST GET IN MY WAY. 416 00:19:08,115 --> 00:19:11,652 >> WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE SAMPLES COMPLETELY, OR LET YOU 417 00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:12,653 JUST SAMPLE STUFF OFF THE SHELF. 418 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:13,287 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, THAT'S NICE. 419 00:19:13,287 --> 00:19:15,389 [ LAUGHTER ] 420 00:19:15,389 --> 00:19:16,690 >> TAKE SOMETHING OUT, JUST GO FOR IT. 421 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:21,028 >> Jimmy: SPREAD IT OUT A LITTLE BIT. THIS IS VERY WEIRD. 422 00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:24,431 AND I REALLY ‐‐ I FEEL COMPELLED TO ASK YOU ABOUT IT. 423 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:28,035 BECAUSE YOUR DENTIST POSTED A PHOTO OF YOU IN HIS OFFICE. 424 00:19:28,035 --> 00:19:31,905 AND THAT'S WEIRD TO START WITH. AND YOUR DENTIST IS THE GUY IN 425 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,041 THE RED. THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE JUST 426 00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:36,944 GOT OUT OF A UFC FIGHT, YEAH? 427 00:19:36,944 --> 00:19:37,277 [ LAUGHTER ] 428 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,614 >> YEAH, HE'S THE BIGGEST, BUFFEST DENTIST I'VE EVER SEEN 429 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,649 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, IT'S MIND BLOWING. 430 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:43,483 >> Jimmy: I AGREE WITH YOU. 431 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,117 >> HE HAS THE SOFTEST HANDS. 432 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:47,855 [ LAUGHTER ] 433 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,490 >> Jimmy: BUT WHAT INTERESTS ME BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOUR 434 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:54,494 DENTIST LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE HEROES ON "THE WALKING DEAD" IS 435 00:19:54,494 --> 00:20:01,301 THAT YOU'RE GETTING A TATTOO WHILE AT THE DENTIST. 436 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,003 WHY ARE YOU GETTING A TATTOO THERE? 437 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,806 >> TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE, WHY NOT? 438 00:20:05,806 --> 00:20:06,373 [ LAUGHTER ] 439 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,243 >> Jimmy: DID YOU SUGGEST THIS TO YOUR TATTOO ARTIST? 440 00:20:09,243 --> 00:20:11,945 >> YEAH, I MEAN, WE TALKED ABOUT IT. WE WERE JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, 441 00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:16,717 I'LL BE SITTING AROUND FOR HOURS DOING NOTHING ANYWAYS, WHY NOT 442 00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:19,720 GET TWO BAD THINGS OUT OF THE WAY AT THE SAME TIME? 443 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,621 [ LAUGHTER ] 444 00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:24,391 >> Jimmy: DO YOU FEEL LIKE ‐‐ DO YOU GET THE NITROUS OXIDE WHEN 445 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,727 YOU GO TO THE DENTIST OR NO? 446 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:30,731 >> YEAH, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF. 447 00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:31,865 >> Jimmy: TAKE THE EDGE OFF, YEAH. 448 00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:35,269 AND IT TAKES THE EDGE OFF THE TATTOO. 449 00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:37,804 THAT IS MULTI‐TASKING LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. 450 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:40,741 >> I TELL YOU WHAT, MAN, WELCOME TO THE FUTURE, MAN, THIS IS 451 00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:41,308 GREAT. 452 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:41,641 [ LAUGHTER ] 453 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:45,481 >> Jimmy: POST MALONE IS WITH US. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL HAVE 454 00:20:45,481 --> 00:20:47,207 MANY MORE THINGS TO COVER. 455 00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:50,334 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 456 00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:56,017 ♪ 457 00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:59,053 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. KAWHI LEONARD IS STILL TO COME. 458 00:20:59,053 --> 00:21:02,423 LEWIS CAPALDI IS STILL TO COME. POST MALONE IS WITH US. 459 00:21:02,423 --> 00:21:05,560 YOU'VE GOT A LOT GOING ON. I MENTIONED THE GRAMMY 460 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:10,165 NOMINATIONS, I MENTIONED YOUR NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL. 461 00:21:10,165 --> 00:21:15,003 MAYBE MOST SIGNIFICANTLY, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CROCS. 462 00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:18,506 >> OH! YOU LOOK SEXY! 463 00:21:18,506 --> 00:21:18,840 [ APPLAUSE ] 464 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,675 >> Jimmy: HOW MUCH ARE YOU COLLABORATING WITH THE CROCS 465 00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:21,576 PEOPLE ON THIS? 466 00:21:21,576 --> 00:21:26,748 >> YOU KNOW, I LIKE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH MY CREATIVE TEAM 467 00:21:26,748 --> 00:21:31,252 AND JUST KIND OF MAKING SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, KIND OF 468 00:21:31,252 --> 00:21:33,755 FUNKY AND FUN. BUT SOMETHING THAT'S COMFORTABLE 469 00:21:33,755 --> 00:21:35,757 AND YOU CAN WEAR FOR EVERYDAY, YOU KNOW. 470 00:21:35,757 --> 00:21:39,260 SO WE KIND OF JUST GO BACK AND FORTH AND JUST PARTY HARD. 471 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:41,229 >> Jimmy: THEY ARE COMFORTABLE, ACTUALLY. 472 00:21:41,229 --> 00:21:41,562 [ LAUGHTER ] 473 00:21:41,562 --> 00:21:44,966 I FEEL ‐‐ I'M SURPRISINGLY ATTRACTED TO THEM, SINCE I PUT 474 00:21:44,966 --> 00:21:45,967 THEM ON. 475 00:21:45,967 --> 00:21:46,300 [ LAUGHTER ] 476 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:47,235 IT'S NOT SOMETHING ‐‐ 477 00:21:47,235 --> 00:21:49,571 >> YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THEM EVERY SHOW. 478 00:21:49,571 --> 00:21:51,372 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 479 00:21:51,372 --> 00:21:55,443 >> Jimmy: I WOULDN'T PULL THEM OFF THE SHELF, BUT NOW THAT I 480 00:21:55,443 --> 00:21:59,080 HAVE THEM ON ‐‐ I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR MY DAD FOR 481 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,182 CHRISTMAS, DO THEY COME IN SIZE 12? 482 00:22:01,182 --> 00:22:04,152 >> YES, OF COURSE, ANY SIZE YOU'D LIKE, JIMMY, YES, SIR. 483 00:22:04,152 --> 00:22:06,221 >> Jimmy: THIS WOULD BE A GREAT LOOK FOR HIM AS WE CHECK HIM 484 00:22:06,221 --> 00:22:06,554 INTO THE HOME. 485 00:22:06,554 --> 00:22:10,191 [ LAUGHTER ] 486 00:22:10,191 --> 00:22:12,627 >> THEY'RE SLIP PROOF TOO. 487 00:22:12,627 --> 00:22:15,630 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOMINATED FOR THREE GRAMMY AWARDS. 488 00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:17,966 AND THAT SHOW ‐‐ 489 00:22:17,966 --> 00:22:18,466 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 490 00:22:18,466 --> 00:22:21,603 ‐‐ IS AT THE END OF JANUARY, WE ASSUME. 491 00:22:21,603 --> 00:22:23,738 WE NEVER KNOW WHEN ANYTHING IS ANYMORE. 492 00:22:23,738 --> 00:22:29,377 NEW YEAR'S EVE, YOU'VE GOT THIS BUD LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS 493 00:22:29,377 --> 00:22:31,613 PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE 2021, CATCHY TIGHT. 494 00:22:31,613 --> 00:22:33,815 I THINK YOU SHOULD TIGHTEN THAT UP A LITTLE BIT. 495 00:22:33,815 --> 00:22:34,182 [ LAUGHTER ] 496 00:22:34,182 --> 00:22:35,350 >> IT'S A MOUTHFUL. 497 00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:36,951 >> Jimmy: TALK TO THE BUD LIGHT PEOPLE. 498 00:22:36,951 --> 00:22:39,320 AFTER A COUPLE OF BUD LIGHTS, I'M NOT SURE ANYONE WILL BE ABLE 499 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,122 TO SAY THAT. 500 00:22:41,122 --> 00:22:41,556 >> NO. 501 00:22:41,556 --> 00:22:43,124 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN ‐‐ 502 00:22:43,124 --> 00:22:47,495 >> I CAN'T SAY IT SOBER, I DON'T IMAGINE SAYING IT DRUNK. 503 00:22:47,495 --> 00:22:49,197 >> Jimmy: IS THIS A STRAIGHTFORWARD CONCERT? 504 00:22:49,197 --> 00:22:50,098 OR ARE YOU DOING OTHER STUFF? 505 00:22:50,098 --> 00:22:54,168 >> I'M DOING A COUPLE OF MY SONGS. 506 00:22:54,168 --> 00:22:58,339 SOME ROCK 'N' ROLL LEGENDS. AND WE JUST KIND OF JAM OUT AND 507 00:22:58,339 --> 00:23:01,843 HAVE A LITTLE FUN. YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S GOING TO 508 00:23:01,843 --> 00:23:03,378 BE A LOT OF FUN. 509 00:23:03,378 --> 00:23:06,714 >> Jimmy: THESE ROCK 'N' ROLL LEGENDS, ARE THEY PEOPLE THAT 510 00:23:06,714 --> 00:23:09,083 YOU PARTICULARLY LIKED AND YOU REACHED OUT TO? 511 00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:11,486 DID THEY REACH OUT TO YOU? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 512 00:23:11,486 --> 00:23:14,188 >> YES, SIR. I MEAN, PEOPLE THAT I LIKE, 513 00:23:14,188 --> 00:23:20,461 PEOPLE THAT ‐‐ I PLAY WITH WATIGAN, ANDREW WATIGAN, HE'S 514 00:23:20,461 --> 00:23:22,864 JUST A BEAST. WE WRITE SONGS TOGETHER AND SUCH. 515 00:23:22,864 --> 00:23:25,400 I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GIVE AWAY ANY NAMES BUT I THINK IT'S 516 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,702 GOING TO BE ‐‐ 517 00:23:27,702 --> 00:23:29,237 >> Jimmy: IT'S A SECRET, ALL RIGHT. 518 00:23:29,237 --> 00:23:31,439 YOU'RE IN UTAH RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PLACE IN UTAH? 519 00:23:31,439 --> 00:23:31,773 >> YES, SIR. 520 00:23:31,773 --> 00:23:34,809 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHERE YOU LIVE? 521 00:23:34,809 --> 00:23:37,512 >> YES, SIR. IT'S GREAT. YOU KNOW, I'M 30 MINUTES FROM 522 00:23:37,512 --> 00:23:39,881 DOWNTOWN, AND IT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 523 00:23:39,881 --> 00:23:42,917 YOU'VE GOT THE MOUNTAINS AND EVERYTHING. IT'S JUST KICK‐ASS. 524 00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:45,019 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU ABLE TO GET THE REAL BUD LIGHT OR DO YOU 525 00:23:45,019 --> 00:23:46,788 HAVE TO DRINK THE UTAH VERSION OF BUD LIGHT? 526 00:23:46,788 --> 00:23:49,023 [ LAUGHTER ] 527 00:23:49,023 --> 00:23:50,224 >> WELL, WHATEVER I CAN'T GET HERE, I CAN SMUGGLE IN FROM 528 00:23:50,224 --> 00:23:50,558 WYOMING. 529 00:23:50,558 --> 00:23:55,063 [ LAUGHTER ] 530 00:23:55,063 --> 00:23:56,864 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. DON'T WORRY, IF YOU GET A VISIT 531 00:23:56,864 --> 00:24:01,436 FROM THE AUTHORITIES, JUST CALL MY DAD, HE'LL HELP YOU OUT. 532 00:24:01,436 --> 00:24:05,073 >> NO, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M HAPPY I GOT YOU. 533 00:24:05,073 --> 00:24:08,443 >> Jimmy: YOU TOO, HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS. 534 00:24:08,443 --> 00:24:09,744 "HOLLYWOOD'S BLEEDING" IS OUT NOW, AND YOU CAN SEE THE "BUD 535 00:24:09,744 --> 00:24:13,514 LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE 2021" LIVESTREAM 536 00:24:13,514 --> 00:24:17,735 EVENT DECEMBER 31 ON INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND YOUTUBE. 537 00:24:17,735 --> 00:24:18,235 POST MALONE, EVERYBODY! 538 00:24:18,235 --> 00:24:21,338 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 539 00:24:21,338 --> 00:24:23,108 >> THANKS, JIMMY. 540 00:24:23,108 --> 00:24:24,468 >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH KAWHI LEONARD! 541 00:24:29,351 --> 00:24:31,994 ♪ 542 00:24:31,994 --> 00:24:33,162 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 543 00:24:33,162 --> 00:24:35,164 MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI IS ON THE WAY. 544 00:24:35,164 --> 00:24:37,500 OUR NEXT GUEST LED TWO DIFFERENT BASKETBALL TEAMS IN TWO 545 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:44,207 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES TO NBA TITLES, COLLECTING A FINALS MVP 546 00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:46,409 AWARD EACH TIME, AND THEN DECIDED TO RETURN HOME TO 547 00:24:46,409 --> 00:24:51,848 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. HIS SECOND SEASON IN L. A. KICKS 548 00:24:51,848 --> 00:24:54,150 OFF DECEMBER 22nd AGAINST THE LAKERS. 549 00:24:54,150 --> 00:24:58,488 FROM THE LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS, PLEASE WELCOME KAWHI LEONARD. 550 00:24:58,488 --> 00:24:59,222 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 551 00:24:59,222 --> 00:25:04,360 HI, KAWHI. I'M SO GLAD TO GET A CHANCE TO 552 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:07,997 TALK TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A MYSTERIOUS MAN. 553 00:25:07,997 --> 00:25:09,432 DO YOU FEEL YOU AR MYSTERIOUS MAN? 554 00:25:09,432 --> 00:25:12,001 >> NO, I DON'T. THE PEOPLE AROUND ME KNOW WHO I 555 00:25:12,001 --> 00:25:12,334 AM. 556 00:25:12,334 --> 00:25:15,004 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND SAY, 557 00:25:15,004 --> 00:25:18,508 WHO IS THIS PERSON WHOSE TEETH I AM BRUSHING RIGHT NOW? 558 00:25:18,508 --> 00:25:18,841 [ LAUGHTER ] 559 00:25:18,841 --> 00:25:21,210 >> NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. I KNOW WHO I AM. 560 00:25:21,210 --> 00:25:24,747 MY LOVED ONES KNOW WHO I AM, FRIENDS AND FAMILY. 561 00:25:24,747 --> 00:25:30,386 >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. WE HAVE SO ‐‐ WE SEE SO MUCH OF 562 00:25:30,386 --> 00:25:33,723 SO MANY PEOPLE'S LIVES. YOU DON'T HAVE INSTAGRAM. 563 00:25:33,723 --> 00:25:35,625 ON TWITTER YOU ‐‐ THIS IS KIND OF FUNNY. 564 00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:40,062 THE LAST TIME I THINK YOU POSTED ON TWITTER WAS 2015. 565 00:25:40,062 --> 00:25:40,396 [ LAUGHTER ] 566 00:25:40,396 --> 00:25:41,964 AND YOU POSTED A PICTURE OF YOUR HOVERBOARD. 567 00:25:41,964 --> 00:25:44,934 [ LAUGHTER ] 568 00:25:44,934 --> 00:25:47,436 WHAT BECAME OF THE HOVERBOARD? 569 00:25:47,436 --> 00:25:49,038 >> MAN. THAT WAS A LITTLE TREND BACK IN 570 00:25:49,038 --> 00:25:49,539 THE DAY. 571 00:25:49,539 --> 00:25:50,006 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 572 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:54,410 >> I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN ‐‐ I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN POST THAT. 573 00:25:54,410 --> 00:25:58,447 I DON'T HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT. I DON'T KNOW THE PASSWORD TO IT. 574 00:25:58,447 --> 00:26:01,184 [ LAUGHTER ] 575 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:03,085 >> Jimmy: WOW. YEAH, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU 576 00:26:03,085 --> 00:26:06,155 EAT TACOS ON TUESDAY. WE KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT YOU. 577 00:26:06,155 --> 00:26:06,489 [ LAUGHTER ] 578 00:26:06,489 --> 00:26:09,225 DO YOU EAT TACOS ON TUESDAY? 579 00:26:09,225 --> 00:26:13,596 >> DEFINITELY EAT TACOS, DEFINITELY. MAYBE NOT ON TUESDAY. 580 00:26:13,596 --> 00:26:15,965 MEXICAN FOOD IS MY FAVORITE FOOD. I'M FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 581 00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:18,067 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 582 00:26:18,067 --> 00:26:22,305 >> Jimmy: GUILLERMO TAKES THAT AS A COMPLIMENT TO HIM. 583 00:26:22,305 --> 00:26:22,638 [ LAUGHTER ] 584 00:26:22,638 --> 00:26:24,440 THERE ARE A LOT OF ODD STORIES ABOUT YOU. 585 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,376 I WANT TO ASK ABOUT ONE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S VERY ODD. 586 00:26:27,376 --> 00:26:31,781 THE STORY GOES LIKE THIS. YOU WERE AT A TEAM DINNER WITH 587 00:26:31,781 --> 00:26:34,350 THE SPURS WHEN YOU PLAYED FOR THE SPURS. EVERYONE WAS EATING. 588 00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:37,687 YOU DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING. INSTEAD YOU BROUGHT 12 APPLES TO 589 00:26:37,687 --> 00:26:41,424 THE TABLE, RED APPLES. YOU SAT THERE WITH A KNIFE AND 590 00:26:41,424 --> 00:26:45,995 FORK AND ATE EACH APPLE AND SAID, "IT'S APPLE TIME, APPLE 591 00:26:45,995 --> 00:26:46,360 TIME." 592 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,998 [ LAUGHTER ] 593 00:26:48,998 --> 00:26:50,399 >> WHO CAME UP WITH THAT STORY? 594 00:26:50,399 --> 00:26:51,701 >> Jimmy: THAT IS NOT TRUE? 595 00:26:51,701 --> 00:26:52,335 >> NO. 596 00:26:52,335 --> 00:26:52,835 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 597 00:26:52,835 --> 00:26:54,303 >> NO, NOT AT ALL. 598 00:26:54,303 --> 00:26:54,637 [ LAUGHTER ] 599 00:26:54,637 --> 00:26:57,473 I DO HAVE AN APPLE TREE. BUT I DIDN'T PICK MY APPLES AND 600 00:26:57,473 --> 00:26:58,307 BRING THEM TO DINNER. 601 00:26:58,307 --> 00:27:01,878 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YOU ARE ‐‐ YOU'RE TWO‐TIME 602 00:27:01,878 --> 00:27:05,715 DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR. AND DO YOU ‐‐ HOW MUCH OF THAT 603 00:27:05,715 --> 00:27:08,184 DO YOU ATTRIBUTE TO YOUR ENORMOUS HANDS? 604 00:27:08,184 --> 00:27:10,186 DO YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW? 605 00:27:10,186 --> 00:27:10,519 [ LAUGHTER ] 606 00:27:10,519 --> 00:27:10,887 MAY WE SEE THEM? 607 00:27:10,887 --> 00:27:14,423 >> YEAH, LET ME FIND THEM. 608 00:27:14,423 --> 00:27:16,759 >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU WERE A BABY, DID YOU HAVE HANDS THE SIZE OF A 609 00:27:16,759 --> 00:27:20,363 REGULAR MAN AT THAT TIME? 610 00:27:20,363 --> 00:27:22,865 >> I MEAN ‐‐ AS A BABY, I WOULDN'T KNOW. 611 00:27:22,865 --> 00:27:26,936 BUT LIKE MY MOM TOLD ME WHEN I CAME OUT, EVERYBODY LOOKED AT MY 612 00:27:26,936 --> 00:27:30,773 HANDS AND SAID THEY WERE SO BIG. I THINK I GET THEM FROM MY DAD. 613 00:27:30,773 --> 00:27:32,441 >> Jimmy: ARE THERE DISADVANTAGES TO HAVING HUGE 614 00:27:32,441 --> 00:27:34,577 HANDS LIKE THAT? 615 00:27:34,577 --> 00:27:40,416 >> DEFINITELY. DEFINITELY. YOU KNOW, I DON'T NOTICE UNTIL I 616 00:27:40,416 --> 00:27:44,820 SEE EITHER MY FRIENDS OR SOMEONE ELSE DOING AN ACTIVITY. 617 00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:46,756 YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE, I CAN'T DO THAT. 618 00:27:46,756 --> 00:27:48,090 LIKE PUTTING MY HANDS IN MY OWN POCKETS. 619 00:27:48,090 --> 00:27:52,295 [ LAUGHTER ] 620 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:56,332 THEY'RE TOO SMALL. YEAH. 621 00:27:56,332 --> 00:27:58,501 >> Jimmy: IT'S A GOOD THING YOU LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 622 00:27:58,501 --> 00:27:59,635 >> I COULD GO ON AND ON. 623 00:27:59,635 --> 00:28:02,004 >> Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE, IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT TORONTO, BECAUSE 624 00:28:02,004 --> 00:28:02,471 YOUR HANDS WERE COLD? 625 00:28:02,471 --> 00:28:04,674 [ LAUGHTER ] 626 00:28:04,674 --> 00:28:08,311 >> OH, MAN. I COULDN'T FIND GLOVES TO FIT ME. 627 00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:09,779 >> Jimmy: THE SEASON OPENS ON TUESDAY. 628 00:28:09,779 --> 00:28:11,948 IT'S SO CRAZY THE SEASON OPENS TUESDAY. 629 00:28:11,948 --> 00:28:15,985 IT SEEMS LIKE IT JUST ENDED. YOU GUYS PLAY THE LAKERS. 630 00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:21,924 IS IT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TO PLAY THE TEAM YOU CHOSE NOT TO GO TO? 631 00:28:21,924 --> 00:28:25,161 >> NO, NOT AT ALL. YOU KNOW, I'M HAPPY WITH MY 632 00:28:25,161 --> 00:28:27,096 DECISION. AND, YOU KNOW, THEY DID A GREAT 633 00:28:27,096 --> 00:28:29,265 JOB LAST YEAR. THEY DID THEIR THING. 634 00:28:29,265 --> 00:28:32,468 >> Jimmy: YOUR SECOND GAME IS AGAINST DENVER, WHO YOU PLAYED 635 00:28:32,468 --> 00:28:36,038 IN THE PLAYOFFS. AND THAT IS ON CHRISTMAS DAY. 636 00:28:36,038 --> 00:28:38,341 WHAT IS IT LIKE TO PLAY BASKETBALL ON TELEVISION ON 637 00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:40,242 CHRISTMAS DAY? 638 00:28:40,242 --> 00:28:43,980 >> OH, I MEAN, IT'S A GREAT FEELING. 639 00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:46,349 WHEN YOU'RE OUTSIDE AS A KID, YOU'RE PLAYING ON CHRISTMAS DAY 640 00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:49,652 WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE ANY OTHER 641 00:28:49,652 --> 00:28:52,221 DAY, TO ME. YOU KNOW, ONCE I GOT SELECTED TO 642 00:28:52,221 --> 00:28:56,926 GO INTO THE NBA, I KNEW IT WAS NO HOLIDAYS IN THE NBA. 643 00:28:56,926 --> 00:28:59,095 I JUST TELL MYSELF THAT SO I DON'T GET SAD WHEN I'M NOT ABLE 644 00:28:59,095 --> 00:29:01,263 TO SEE MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS ON CERTAIN DAYS. 645 00:29:01,263 --> 00:29:01,764 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 646 00:29:01,764 --> 00:29:05,301 >> SO YOU KNOW, JUST GRIND IT OUT ALL SEASON LONG, WAIT TILL 647 00:29:05,301 --> 00:29:09,171 THE SUMMERTIME, YOU KNOW. THAT'S WHEN WE CAN CELEBRATE 648 00:29:09,171 --> 00:29:09,504 ANYTHING. 649 00:29:09,504 --> 00:29:13,309 >> Jimmy: DO YOU EXCHANGE GIFTS WITH THE OTHER PLAYERS? 650 00:29:13,309 --> 00:29:18,914 >> ON FUTURE TEAMS WE HAVE, WE DID A SECRET SANTA A COUPLE OF 651 00:29:18,914 --> 00:29:19,247 TIMES. 652 00:29:19,247 --> 00:29:20,750 >> Jimmy: OH. I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT SEEMS 653 00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:26,956 FUNNY. SO YOU GUYS SIT AROUND THE LOCKER ROOM AND LIKE, OKAY, 654 00:29:26,956 --> 00:29:29,158 TERRON, I HAVE YOU. IS THAT HOW IT GOES? 655 00:29:29,158 --> 00:29:29,491 [ LAUGHTER ] 656 00:29:29,491 --> 00:29:34,263 >> USUALLY WE'LL PUT THE LAST NAME OR A JERSEY NUMBER INSIDE A 657 00:29:34,263 --> 00:29:39,035 HAT. PASS IT AROUND THE ROOM. WHOEVER'S NUMBER OR NAME YOU 658 00:29:39,035 --> 00:29:41,270 GET, THAT'S WHO YOU HAVE TO BUY A GIFT FOR. 659 00:29:41,270 --> 00:29:45,474 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE MAXIMUM YOU CAN SPEND, LIKE $1 MILLION ON 660 00:29:45,474 --> 00:29:45,975 THE GIFT? 661 00:29:45,975 --> 00:29:46,308 [ LAUGHTER ] 662 00:29:46,308 --> 00:29:48,844 >> NO, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL, SOME OF THE ROOKIES DON'T HAVE 663 00:29:48,844 --> 00:29:49,578 THAT TYPE OF MONEY. 664 00:29:49,578 --> 00:29:50,012 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 665 00:29:50,012 --> 00:29:51,747 >> WE LIMIT IT AT $100. 666 00:29:51,747 --> 00:29:54,050 >> Jimmy: WOULD IT BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO GIVE 667 00:29:54,050 --> 00:29:55,384 THEM YOUR NEW SHOE, YOUR NEW BALANCE SHOE? 668 00:29:55,384 --> 00:30:00,189 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 669 00:30:00,189 --> 00:30:00,689 KAWHI CHRISTMAS? 670 00:30:00,689 --> 00:30:02,591 >> I LIKE WHAT I SEE RIGHT THERE, YES. 671 00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:05,027 >> Jimmy: I'M WEARING THIS BECAUSE POST MALONE WAS ON 672 00:30:05,027 --> 00:30:06,495 BEFORE, HE GAVE ME SOME CROCS. 673 00:30:06,495 --> 00:30:07,229 >> OH, YEAH. 674 00:30:07,229 --> 00:30:09,832 >> Jimmy: MAYBE YOU GUYS COULD TEAM UP ON SOMETHING TOGETHER. 675 00:30:09,832 --> 00:30:10,766 >> I LIKE THOSE. 676 00:30:10,766 --> 00:30:13,102 >> Jimmy: THIS IS THE KAWHI CHRISTMAS SHOE. 677 00:30:13,102 --> 00:30:17,339 IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A CHRISTMAS SHOE, IT LOOKS LIKE, FRANKLY, A 678 00:30:17,339 --> 00:30:18,674 HANUKKAH SHOE, BLUE AND WHITE. 679 00:30:18,674 --> 00:30:21,811 >> YOU KNOW, YOU GO TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE'S HOMES, YOU SEE 680 00:30:21,811 --> 00:30:23,746 DIFFERENT COLORED CHRISTMAS TREES. YOU KNOW. 681 00:30:23,746 --> 00:30:27,049 I JUST WANTED TO DO A LITTLE WINTER VIBE. 682 00:30:27,049 --> 00:30:34,023 I GOT THE INSPIRATION FROM A 683 00:30:34,023 --> 00:30:36,959 SNOW WATT SUIT. 684 00:30:36,959 --> 00:30:38,260 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? 685 00:30:38,260 --> 00:30:41,597 >> A CREATURE THAT HIBERNATES THROUGH THE SUMMERTIME. 686 00:30:41,597 --> 00:30:43,632 THEIR FURNITURES WHITE DURING THE WINTER. 687 00:30:43,632 --> 00:30:47,036 YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHERE I PRETTY MUCH GOT THE CONCEPT FROM. 688 00:30:47,036 --> 00:30:50,906 WITH BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY DON'T SEE THAT MUCH. 689 00:30:50,906 --> 00:30:55,244 ONCE THE SEASON COMES, YOU KNOW, THE BEAST IS RELEASED. 690 00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:59,181 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, THE LAKERS HAVE JACK NICHOLSON, THEIR 691 00:30:59,181 --> 00:31:01,784 NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY FAN, LITTLE QUESTION ABOUT THAT. 692 00:31:01,784 --> 00:31:05,087 WHO WOULD YOU SAY IS THE CLIPPERS' NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY 693 00:31:05,087 --> 00:31:05,452 FAN? 694 00:31:05,452 --> 00:31:07,756 >> I'D HAVE TO SAY BILLY CRYSTAL. 695 00:31:07,756 --> 00:31:10,092 >> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT, BILLY CRYSTAL IS THE NUMBER ONE. 696 00:31:10,092 --> 00:31:10,593 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 697 00:31:10,593 --> 00:31:15,764 HE'S NOT A BANDWAGON FAN, HE'S BEEN THROUGH DARK YEARS RITH THE 698 00:31:15,764 --> 00:31:18,267 CLIPPERS. ARE YOU A FAN OF BILLY CRYSTAL'S? 699 00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:20,002 >> SOME OF HIS MOVIES WERE BEFORE MY TIME. 700 00:31:20,002 --> 00:31:25,407 THE ONE WITH MARY? OR THE LADY THAT, YOU KNOW ‐‐ 701 00:31:25,407 --> 00:31:25,741 [ LAUGHTER ] 702 00:31:25,741 --> 00:31:26,075 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 703 00:31:26,075 --> 00:31:27,610 >> CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS? 704 00:31:27,610 --> 00:31:29,145 >> Jimmy: OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD. 705 00:31:29,145 --> 00:31:31,614 BILLY KNOWS SO MUCH ABOUT THE CLIPPERS. 706 00:31:31,614 --> 00:31:33,782 WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW ABOUT 707 00:31:33,782 --> 00:31:36,485 BILLY. TO HELP US OUT, HERE IS THE MAN 708 00:31:36,485 --> 00:31:38,420 HIMSELF. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. BILLY 709 00:31:38,420 --> 00:31:38,753 CRYSTAL! 710 00:31:38,753 --> 00:31:39,989 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 711 00:31:39,989 --> 00:31:41,557 HELLO, BILLY. 712 00:31:41,557 --> 00:31:41,890 >> HI. 713 00:31:41,890 --> 00:31:43,359 >> Jimmy: KAWHI IS HERE. 714 00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:45,294 >> HEY, KAWHI. 715 00:31:45,294 --> 00:31:46,128 >> HOW YOU DOING? 716 00:31:46,128 --> 00:31:50,099 >> GOOD. I'VE GOT ‐‐ EVERYTHING'S BEFORE 717 00:31:50,099 --> 00:31:50,966 HIS TIME. EVERYTHING IS BEFORE HIS TIME. 718 00:31:50,966 --> 00:31:52,101 [ LAUGHTER ] 719 00:31:52,101 --> 00:31:54,136 LOOK, LOOK. LOOK AT THIS, CAN YOU SEE THIS? 720 00:31:54,136 --> 00:31:55,905 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT? 721 00:31:55,905 --> 00:32:00,075 >> THAT'S MY NBA BASKETBALL CARD THAT THEY MADE ME, THAT'S MY 722 00:32:00,075 --> 00:32:03,379 HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL PICTURE. YOU SEE THE SCAB ON MY KNEE, 723 00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:03,744 JIMMY? 724 00:32:03,744 --> 00:32:04,078 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 725 00:32:04,078 --> 00:32:06,882 >> YEAH, THAT'S NOT FROM A GAME. I TRIPPED ON MY WAY TO THE PHOTO 726 00:32:06,882 --> 00:32:07,247 SHOOT. 727 00:32:07,247 --> 00:32:10,519 [ LAUGHTER ] 728 00:32:10,519 --> 00:32:13,389 AND I JUST THOUGHT IT LOOKED COOL, LIKE I PLAYED A LOT, SO 729 00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:17,059 I ‐‐ YEAH, SO I KEPT IT, YEAH. THAT'S AN OLD PICTURE. 730 00:32:17,059 --> 00:32:20,563 >> Jimmy: BILLY, YOU KNOW A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THE CLIPPERS, 731 00:32:20,563 --> 00:32:22,565 WHAT NUMBER DOES KAWHI LEONARD WEAR? 732 00:32:22,565 --> 00:32:25,134 >> 17. NO, HE WEARS NUMBER 2. 733 00:32:25,134 --> 00:32:28,537 >> Jimmy: WHERE DID HE PLAY COLLEGE BASKETBALL? 734 00:32:28,537 --> 00:32:34,043 >> STARTED YESHIVA, THEN TRANSFERRED TO SAN DIEGO STATE. 735 00:32:34,043 --> 00:32:34,376 [ LAUGHTER ] 736 00:32:34,376 --> 00:32:37,780 >> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU SPELL KAWHI? 737 00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:41,116 >> K‐A‐W‐H‐I. 738 00:32:41,116 --> 00:32:43,886 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. BILLY KNOWS A LOT ABOUT YOU, NOW 739 00:32:43,886 --> 00:32:46,589 BILLY IS GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM AND HIS BODY 740 00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:48,757 OF WORK. FOR EVERY CORRECT ANSWER, YOU 741 00:32:48,757 --> 00:32:50,759 WILL GET A CRYSTAL BALL, ALL RIGHT? 742 00:32:50,759 --> 00:32:54,430 FOR EVERY WRONG ANSWER, BILLY WILL BE MAD AT YOU. 743 00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:54,763 [ LAUGHTER ] 744 00:32:54,763 --> 00:32:57,132 ARE YOU READY? SHALL WE DO THIS? 745 00:32:57,132 --> 00:32:57,833 >> LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 746 00:32:57,833 --> 00:33:05,774 >> FIRST QUESTION. IN "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY," WHICH 747 00:33:05,774 --> 00:33:08,277 WAS MADE IN 1875 ‐‐ 748 00:33:08,277 --> 00:33:08,610 [ LAUGHTER ] 749 00:33:08,610 --> 00:33:12,581 RIGHT AFTER MEG RYAN FAKES HER ORGASM, WHAT DOES ONE OF THE 750 00:33:12,581 --> 00:33:17,253 WOMEN IN THE DELI SAY TO HER? 751 00:33:17,253 --> 00:33:17,820 >> "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" 752 00:33:17,820 --> 00:33:20,556 [ LAUGHTER ] 753 00:33:20,556 --> 00:33:21,624 >> Jimmy: NOT CORRECT. 754 00:33:21,624 --> 00:33:23,259 >> NOT CORRECT, NO. SHE SAYS, "I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S 755 00:33:23,259 --> 00:33:25,661 HAVING." 756 00:33:25,661 --> 00:33:30,065 [ LAUGHTER ] 757 00:33:30,065 --> 00:33:32,167 >> Jimmy: GO WITH SOMETHING MORE CURRENT, BILLY. 758 00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:34,036 >> NO, NOW I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO GET HIM FOR CHRISTMAS. 759 00:33:34,036 --> 00:33:38,040 [ LAUGHTER ] 760 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,076 >> DON'T MAKE ME SPELL YOUR NAME. 761 00:33:41,076 --> 00:33:45,514 >> IN THE ANIMATED MOVIE "MONSTERS, INC.," THIS IS THE 762 00:33:45,514 --> 00:33:45,847 CHARACTER. 763 00:33:45,847 --> 00:33:46,180 >> YES. 764 00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:54,957 >> WHAT'S HIS NAME? 765 00:33:54,957 --> 00:33:55,524 >> ONE‐EYED GREEN MONSTER. 766 00:33:55,524 --> 00:34:00,195 [ LAUGHTER ] 767 00:34:00,195 --> 00:34:06,468 >> HIS NAME IS MIKE WICZOWSKI. 768 00:34:06,468 --> 00:34:09,905 >> Jimmy: THAT WAS CLOSE, I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HIM ONE FOR 769 00:34:09,905 --> 00:34:10,270 THAT. 770 00:34:10,270 --> 00:34:16,178 >> OKAY. IS THE MOVIE CALLED "CITY 771 00:34:16,178 --> 00:34:18,547 SLICKERS" KAWHI? THIS IS A TALKY. 772 00:34:18,547 --> 00:34:19,548 [ LAUGHTER ] 773 00:34:19,548 --> 00:34:21,450 MY CHARACTER, MITCH, ALONG WITH 774 00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:28,691 THE GREAT ACTOR, JPALANCE, ON TE 775 00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:29,458 TRAIL, IT'S A WESTERN, WE 776 00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:38,300 DELIVER A BABY WHAT? 777 00:34:38,300 --> 00:34:39,835 >> A HUMAN? A DOG? 778 00:34:39,835 --> 00:34:44,973 >> NO. IT WAS A WASSAT. 779 00:34:44,973 --> 00:34:45,307 [ LAUGHTER ] 780 00:34:45,307 --> 00:34:48,043 NO, IT WAS A BABY COW, HIS NAME WAS NORMAN. 781 00:34:48,043 --> 00:34:49,778 SPEAKING OF SHOES, I'VE GOT TO SHOW YOU THIS. 782 00:34:49,778 --> 00:34:54,383 IF WE HAVE A SECOND. THIS IS ‐‐ LOOK AT THE SIZE OF 783 00:34:54,383 --> 00:35:01,457 THIS. THIS IS GEORGE MUIRSON'S SHOE. 784 00:35:01,457 --> 00:35:04,159 WE DID A MOVIE TOGETHER CALLED "MY GIANT." THIS IS A SIZE 24. 785 00:35:04,159 --> 00:35:07,963 >> WOW. THAT'S BIG. 786 00:35:07,963 --> 00:35:08,597 >> I SLEPT IN THIS LAST NIGHT. 787 00:35:08,597 --> 00:35:13,402 [ LAUGHTER ] 788 00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:14,403 SURPRISINGLY COMFORTABLE. IT'S A LITTLE NARROW. 789 00:35:14,403 --> 00:35:16,772 BUT I WANTED YOU TO SEE THAT. JIMMY, DO WE HAVE A PRIZE FOR 790 00:35:16,772 --> 00:35:17,137 HIM? 791 00:35:17,137 --> 00:35:19,441 >> Jimmy: YES. WELL, YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE A 792 00:35:19,441 --> 00:35:20,409 PRIZE, I DON'T HAVE ANY PRIZES HERE, BILLY. 793 00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:25,580 >> OKAY. SO KAWHI, FOR PLAYING ALONG, AND 794 00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:30,051 I'M SUCH A GIGANTIC FAN AND HAVE BEEN WITH THE CLIPPERS FOREVER, 795 00:35:30,051 --> 00:35:33,755 WISHING YOU GUYS THE BEST. I WISH I COULD BE THERE. 796 00:35:33,755 --> 00:35:36,892 WE'VE GOT TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS. 797 00:35:36,892 --> 00:35:41,430 I HAVE FOR YOU A CLIPPERS HOME JERSEY. 798 00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,231 AND IT'S GOT MY NAME ON IT. 799 00:35:43,231 --> 00:35:43,565 [ LAUGHTER ] 800 00:35:43,565 --> 00:35:47,635 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 801 00:35:47,635 --> 00:35:51,339 SO IF YOU WEAR THAT OPENING NIGHT, NAME YOUR CHARITY, AND 802 00:35:51,339 --> 00:35:54,909 I'LL THROW IN A COUPLE BUCKS. 803 00:35:54,909 --> 00:35:55,410 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 804 00:35:55,410 --> 00:35:55,777 >> OKAY. 805 00:35:55,777 --> 00:35:59,547 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, BILLY. THANK YOU, KAWHI. 806 00:35:59,547 --> 00:36:03,485 THE KAWHI CHRISTMAS SHOE FROM NEW BALANCE IS OUT NOW. 807 00:36:03,485 --> 00:36:04,719 >> THANK YOU. 808 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,354 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, BILLY CRYSTAL. 809 00:36:06,354 --> 00:36:08,957 WATCH THE CLIPPERS CHRISTMAS DAY ON ESPN. 810 00:36:08,957 --> 00:36:13,828 KAWHI LEONARD, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LEWIS 811 00:36:13,828 --> 00:36:14,295 CAPALDI. 812 00:36:14,295 --> 00:36:16,764 >> Dicky: TONIGHT'S PERFORMANCE BY LEWIS CAPALDI ON "JIMMY 813 00:36:16,764 --> 00:36:19,601 KIMMEL LIVE" IS PRESENTED BY PANDORA. 814 00:36:19,601 --> 00:36:24,162 GO TO LIVE.PANDORA.COM THIS THURSDAY TO SEE THE FULL SHOW. 815 00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:26,391 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 816 00:36:26,391 --> 00:36:30,562 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 817 00:36:30,562 --> 00:36:31,897 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK POST MALONE, KAWHI LEONARD, AND 818 00:36:31,897 --> 00:36:36,101 BILLY CRYSTAL, APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 819 00:36:36,101 --> 00:36:38,136 WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST, 820 00:36:38,136 --> 00:36:41,006 HIS ALBUM IS CALLED "DIVINELY UNINSPIRED TO A HELLISH EXTENT." 821 00:36:41,006 --> 00:36:43,675 WITH THE SONG "BEFORE YOU GO," LEWIS CAPALDI! 822 00:36:43,675 --> 00:36:47,613 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 823 00:36:49,147 --> 00:36:49,512 ♪ 824 00:36:49,512 --> 00:36:52,782 ♪ 825 00:36:52,782 --> 00:36:53,550 ♪ I FELL BY THE WAYSIDE 826 00:36:53,550 --> 00:36:55,452 LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ♪ 827 00:36:55,452 --> 00:36:57,253 ♪ I HATE YOU I HATE YOU 828 00:36:57,253 --> 00:37:00,323 I HATE YOU BUT I WAS JUST KIDDING MYSELF ♪ 829 00:37:00,323 --> 00:37:01,558 ♪ OUR EVERY MOMENT 830 00:37:01,558 --> 00:37:03,760 I START TO REPLACE ♪ 831 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,295 ♪ CAUSE NOW 832 00:37:05,295 --> 00:37:13,136 THAT THEY'RE GONE I HEAR ALL THE WORDS 833 00:37:13,136 --> 00:37:13,636 THAT I NEEDED TO SAY ♪ 834 00:37:13,636 --> 00:37:13,970 ♪ WHEN YOU HURT 835 00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:15,405 UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE TROUBLED WATER 836 00:37:15,405 --> 00:37:18,141 RUNNING COLD ♪ 837 00:37:18,141 --> 00:37:19,876 ♪ WELL TIME CAN HEAL 838 00:37:19,876 --> 00:37:28,151 BUT THIS WON'T ♪ 839 00:37:28,151 --> 00:37:33,957 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 840 00:37:33,957 --> 00:37:36,392 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 841 00:37:36,392 --> 00:37:37,427 YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪ 842 00:37:37,427 --> 00:37:40,230 ♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN 843 00:37:40,230 --> 00:37:45,869 YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪ 844 00:37:45,869 --> 00:37:50,373 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 845 00:37:50,373 --> 00:37:55,912 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 846 00:37:55,912 --> 00:37:59,582 IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪ 847 00:37:59,582 --> 00:38:01,885 ♪ IT KILLS ME HOW YOUR MIND 848 00:38:01,885 --> 00:38:04,120 CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪ 849 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,657 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 850 00:38:07,657 --> 00:38:09,859 WAS NEVER THE RIGHT TIME ♪ 851 00:38:09,859 --> 00:38:11,861 ♪ WHENEVER YOU CALLED 852 00:38:11,861 --> 00:38:15,131 WENT LITTLE BY LITTLE BY LITTLE UNTIL 853 00:38:15,131 --> 00:38:16,633 THERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL ♪ 854 00:38:16,633 --> 00:38:19,669 ♪ OUR EVERY MOMENT 855 00:38:19,669 --> 00:38:20,970 I START TO REPLAY ♪ 856 00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:21,871 ♪ BUT ALL I CAN 857 00:38:21,871 --> 00:38:24,874 THINK ABOUT IS SEEING THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE ♪ 858 00:38:24,874 --> 00:38:26,910 ♪ WHEN YOU HURT 859 00:38:26,910 --> 00:38:31,648 UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE TROUBLED WATER 860 00:38:31,648 --> 00:38:37,353 RUNNING COLD ♪ 861 00:38:37,353 --> 00:38:37,821 ♪ WELL TIME CAN HEAL 862 00:38:37,821 --> 00:38:44,661 BUT THIS WON'T ♪ 863 00:38:44,661 --> 00:38:49,399 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 864 00:38:49,399 --> 00:38:52,702 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 865 00:38:52,702 --> 00:38:54,571 YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪ 866 00:38:54,571 --> 00:38:56,339 ♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN 867 00:38:56,339 --> 00:39:00,910 YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪ 868 00:39:00,910 --> 00:39:06,082 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 869 00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:10,086 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 870 00:39:10,086 --> 00:39:10,854 IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪ 871 00:39:10,854 --> 00:39:11,988 ♪ IT KILLS ME 872 00:39:11,988 --> 00:39:19,362 HOW YOUR MIND CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪ 873 00:39:19,362 --> 00:39:21,431 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 874 00:39:21,431 --> 00:39:25,902 WOULD WE BE BETTER OFF BY NOW ♪ 875 00:39:25,902 --> 00:39:27,904 ♪ IF I'D HAVE 876 00:39:27,904 --> 00:39:36,145 LET MY WALLS COME DOWN 877 00:39:36,145 --> 00:39:40,316 MAYBE I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW YOU KNOW YOU KNOW ♪ 878 00:39:40,316 --> 00:39:44,220 ♪ BEFORE YOU GO 879 00:39:44,220 --> 00:39:48,892 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 880 00:39:48,892 --> 00:39:50,660 YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪ 881 00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:52,128 ♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN 882 00:39:52,128 --> 00:39:56,132 YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪ 883 00:39:56,132 --> 00:40:01,671 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 884 00:40:01,671 --> 00:40:04,407 WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE 885 00:40:04,407 --> 00:40:06,109 IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪ 886 00:40:06,109 --> 00:40:07,110 ♪ IT KILLS ME 887 00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:11,848 HOW YOUR MIND CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪ 888 00:40:11,848 --> 00:40:16,886 ♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO 889 00:40:16,886 --> 00:40:23,526 ♪