>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE."
TONIGHT, POST MALONE. KAWHI LEONARD.
MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, THAT'S ME. HI, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST.
THANKS FOR WATCHING. OH, WE HAVE A LOT OF
ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU TONIGHT. SOME MIGHT EVEN SAY TOO MUCH,
RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: RIGHT, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: I'M TIRED. OUR 3‐YEAR‐OLD, TUESDAY NIGHT HE
WOKE UP, HE WOKE ME UP, HE WAS YELLING FROM HIS BEDROOM.
SO I WENT IN AND HE SAID, MY BLANKET IS OFF.
I HAD TO PUT THE BLANKET ON HIM. I GO BACK TO BED.
TWO HOURS LATER I HEAR HIM AGAIN SCREAMING.
AGAIN, MY BLANKET IS OFF. I PUT THE BLANKET ON HIM AGAIN.
THEN LAST NIGHT BEFORE HE WENT TO SLEEP I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO PUT
HIS BLANKET ON HIMSELF. I SAID, DON'T WAKE ME UP AGAIN,
I'M SLEEPING, HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT. I SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO IT, I
MADE HIM DO IT, HE DID IT. I SAID, DON'T WAKE ME UP FOR
YOUR BLANKET. HE SAID HE WOULDN'T.
WE GO TO SLEEP, FINE. 1:00 THIS MORNING, DAD!
I'M SOUND ASLEEP. I STUMBLE IN HIS ROOM, WHAT?
HE SAYS, IN THE MORNING FOR
"BREFKAST," I WANT PANCAKES.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
OH, GOOD, IT'S 1:00, WAKE YOUR AUNT JEMIMA UP WITH THIS
NONSENSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'RE ONE HANUKKAH AWAY FROM CHRISTMAS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE U. S. POSTAL SERVICE SAYS THEY'RE EXPERIENCING MAJOR
DELAYS. TURNS OUT SOME IDIOT UPROOTED A
LOT OF THE MAILBOXES JUST BEFORE ELECTION DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE ARE NOW ON DAY 43 OF SQUATTERGATE.
POUTUS IS NOT HAPPY. HE IS SAID TO BE THROWING A
[ BLEEP ] TANTRUM.
I DID NOT CURSE, FOR SOME REASON THEY BLEEPED IT WITHOUT MY
PERMISSION. RIGHT, GUILLERMO?
>> Guillermo: RIGHT, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: HE HAS REPORTEDLY TOLD SOME ADVISERS HE MIGHT REFUSE TO
LEAVE THE WHITE HOUSE ON INAUGURATION DAY.
AND THEN THEY HAVE TO TALK HIM DOWN FROM THE LEDGE.
LAST NIGHT OUR PRESIDENT‐REJECT WAS UP VERY LATE LASHING OUT AT
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH McCONNELL.
YESTERDAY McCONNELL OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED JOE BIDEN AS WINNER
OF THE ELECTION. 12:48 A. M., RIGHT ABOUT WHEN MY
SON ORDERED PANCAKES ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
TRUMP TREATED, MITCH, 75 MILLION VOTES. 74, BY THE WAY.
RECORD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT, TOO SOON TO GIVE UP, REPUBLICAN
PARTY MUST SOON LEARN TO FIGHT, PEOPLE ARE ANGRY.
BY PEOPLE, HE MEANS HIM, HE IS 18. RY POOR MITCH McCONNELL COULD
BARELY SWALLOW HIS TURTLE FOOD THIS MORNING, HE WAS SO UPSET.
[ LAUGHTER ]
TRUMP HASN'T BEEN THIS ANGRY AT SOMEONE FROM KENTUCKY SINCE THE
TIME THE COLONEL FORGOT THE EXTRA GRAVY ON HIS MASHED
POTATOES. THIS IS THE PART WHERE EVERYONE
STARTS NOTICING THAT MAYBE A TESTICLE HAS APPEARED.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
EVEN IF OLD CHEDDAR IN CHARGE DOES AGREE TO HIT THE ROAD, HE
MAY NOT HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO. THE PLAN IS FOR TRUMP TO LIVE AT
MAR‐A‐LAGO. HIS RESORT IN FLORIDA.
BUT HIS NEIGHBORS DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN.
ACCORDING TO THEM IN THE EARLY '90s, TRUMP SIGNED AGREEMENT TO
CHANGE MAR‐A‐LAGO FROM HIS PERSONAL RESIDENCE TO A PRIVATE
CLUB, WHICH MEANS HE'S TECHNICALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO
RESIDE THERE. THEY'RE TELLING THE CITY HE
CAN'T MOVE BACK IN. WHAT AN INTERESTING TURN OF
EVENTS. THIS STARTED WITH DONALD TRUMP'S
FATHER, MADE HIS FORTUNE EVICTING PEOPLE FROM THEIR
HOMES, IT ENDS WITH HIS SON GETTING EVICTED FROM NOT ONE BUT
TWO HOUSES IN ONE MONTH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN OTHER WORDS, GOD EXISTS AND HAS A VERY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR
ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I HOPE HE WINDS UP SHARING A DUPLEX IN NEW JERSEY WITH RUDY
AND THE MY PILLOW GUY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WITH 34 DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE TRUMP IS BUSY DECIDING WHO HE
WILL PARDON AND WHAT THEY'LL GIVE HEM FOR IT.
HE'S REPORTEDLY THINKING ABOUT REPORTING A SPECIAL COUNSEL TO
INVESTIGATE HUNTER BIDEN AND HIS TAX RETURNS.
HE IS SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN INVESTIGATING R.
KELLY FOR SEX STUFF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE'S A LOT AT STAKE HERE. IF IT TURNS OUT HUNTER BIDEN
DID, IN FACT, CHEAT ON HIS TAXES?
TRUMP WOULD THEN HAVE TO LEGALLY ADOPT HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT WE'LL SEE. IN THE MEANTIME, THE PRESIDENT
WILL CONTINUE TO WORK VERY HARD
TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY AS THE PE
PETTIEST BITCH THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE TRUMP/PENCE CAMPAIGN, MORE THAN A MONTH AFTER THE ELECTION
ENDED, SENT THIS EMAIL, IT SAYS, I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR
YOU, OUR INCREDIBLE FIRST LADY, MELANIA TRUMP, HANDPICKED THE
BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS FOR OUR BRAND‐NEW 2021 TRUMP CALENDAR.
SHE SAID TO ME, DARLING, I WANT ALL OF YOUR BEST SUPPORTERS TO
HAVE PRIORITY ACCESS TO GET THE CALENDAR FIRST. RIGHT.
I'M SURE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, I WAS CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT PHOTOS MELANIA HANDPICKED
SO WE ORDERED THE CALENDAR AND HERE IT IS.
I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH IT. YOU CAN SEE THE COVER, THERE
THEY ARE. ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER. OH, THERE'S THE PRESIDENT, AND
HIS HAIR. THERE'S JUSTIN TRUDEAU, PRIME
MINISTER OF CANADA. WHO CAN FORGET THAT MOMENT FROM
MARCH. THERE'S THE ALMOST HANDHOLD.
THERE'S, OH ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
ATHLETIC HUSBAND. OH, THERE ‐‐ THERE'S WATER.
THERE'S THE SON. THERE'S TOILET PAPER.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS A SPECIAL DAY.
LOOK, LOOK WHO'S TOGETHER, THE BUDDIES.
FINALLY, I HATE MY HUSBAND AND I HATE CHRISTMAS.
WELL DONE, MELANIA, IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A NEW YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS COUNTRY HAS NEVER BEEN MORE DIVIDED, EVEN A DEADLY PANDEMIC
DIDN'T BRING US TOGETHER. IN MANY WAYS IT'S PUSHED US EVEN
FARTHER APART. REMINDS ME OF THE CHRISTMAS
SPECIAL "THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS." REMEMBER THAT?
THE HEAT AND SNOW MISER, BROTHERS, THEY HATED EACH OTHER
SO MUCH, THEY HAD TO GET MOTHER NATURE TO INTERVENE TO SAVE
CHRISTMAS. THAT'S WHAT THE COUNTRY IS LIKE,
FAMILIES DIVIDED AT CHRISTMAS TIME.
WE UPDATED THAT HOLIDAY CLASSIC FOR 2020 WHEN THIS IS WHAT THOSE
TWO BROTHERS WOULD BE ARGUING ABOUT.
♪
♪ I'M MR. LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE I'M
MR. PC ♪
♪ I'M MR. TRUMP'S HITLER I'M MR.
YOU'RE TRIGGERING ME ♪
♪ FOLKS CALL ME RADICAL LEFTY I
QUOTE SCIENCE FACTS ♪
♪ AND WEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER
HATS RAISE MY TAX ♪
♪
♪ HE'S MR. PUBLIC RADIO HE'S MR.
BLUE ♪
♪ HE'S MR. WAR ON CHRISTMAS HE'S
MR. CANCEL YOU ♪
♪ FOLKS CALL HIM SOCIALIST
THINKS THE SYSTEM IS BROKE ♪
♪ HE WILL NOT LAUGH AT YOUR JOKE
HE'S SO WOKE ♪
♪
♪ I'M MR. MAGA KAPPA I'M MR.
TROLL ♪
♪ I'M MR. NO MASKER I'M MR.
BORDER PATROL ♪
♪ FOLKS CALL ME HATE MONGER I
LOVE OAN ♪
♪ AND I WEAR DEPENDS
♪
♪ HE'S MR. RACIST UNCLE HE'S MR.
Q ♪
♪ HE'S MR. RIGGED ELECTION HE'S
MR. SNEEZES ON YOU ♪
♪ FOLKS CALL HIM DEPLORABLE,
AMERICA FIRST ♪
♪ HE CLAIMS THE VACCINE IS
CURSED HE'S THE WORST ♪
>> DON'T SCREW THIS, SANTA IS MOVING TO CANADA! HO HO HO!
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THOUGHT THE NORTH POLE WAS IN CANADA.
BY THE WAY, THIS IS SOMETHING. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT ONE OF
OUR WRITERS FOUND AT CVS. I'M GOING TO GET A CLOSE LOOK
HERE. IT'S AN ORNAMENT. YOU THINK, OH, THAT'S NICE, I
CAN PUT A PICTURE OF MY GRANDMA ON IT.
BUT YOU LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER, YOU CAN SEE WHAT'S ENGRAVED ON
THE BOTTOM IS "ALWAYS REMEMBER 2020."
[ LAUGHTER ]
2020, THE YEAR OF THE DEAD GRANDMA CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WONDER IF THE MODEL IF THIS STOCK PHOTO HAD ANY IDEA SHE'D
BE AN OLD DEAD LADY HANGING ON A TREE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT ISN'T ALL GLOOM AND DOOM THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.
FOR CHILDREN, AS WE SPEAK, SANTA IS STILL HARD AT WORK UP AT THE
NORTH POLE, BUILDING PS5s OR WHATEVER THE HELL HE'S MAKING.
TO HELP HIM, GUILLERMO AND I HAVE AN ANNUAL TRADITION.
WE DO TEMP WORK AS ELVES TO HELP SANTA FIGURE OUT WHICH KIDS
DESERVE WHAT. WE COULDN'T DO IT IN PERSON BUT
WE HAVE COMPUTERS, SO WE BUCKLED UP OUR POINTY SHOES AND GOT DOWN
TO CHRISTMAS BUSINESS FOR SANTA. HELLO, THERE.
>> Guillermo: HI!
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
>> LINCOLN.
>> Jimmy: HI, LINCOLN, MY NAME IS ELF JIMMY.
THIS IS ELF GUILLERMO. WE WORK FOR SANTA CLAUS.
WE'RE AT THE NORTH POLE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS?
WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER, YOUR BIRTHDAY OR CHRISTMAS?
>> CHRISTMAS.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR. WE LOVE CHRISTMAS TOO.
>> Guillermo: WE LOVE CHRISTMAS.
>> Jimmy: LINCOLN, TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
HOW OLD ARE YOU.
>> 5.
>> Jimmy: 5 YEARS OLD. HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE
THIS YEAR?
>> NICE.
>> Jimmy: NICE. VERY NICE? EXTREMELY NICE?
SO NICE IT SOMETIMES CIRCLES AROUND TO NOT NICE?
OH, OKAY, GOOD. TELL US ABOUT SOME OF THE NICE
THINGS THAT YOU DO.
>> I PLAY WITH MY BROTHER, I HELP MY PARENTS.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR PARENTS?
>> BY HELPING THEM COOK AND HELPING THEM DRINK WATER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU HELP YOUR PARENTS DRINK WATER, THAT'S SO GOOD,
BECAUSE IT'S SO IMPORTANT. SO MANY KIDS NOWADAYS DON'T HELP
THEIR PARENTS DRINK WATER.
>> I'M NOT WATER.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT WATER? YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS WE ARE
WATER, MOSTLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING. ALL RIGHT.
SO TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF THE NAUGHTY THINGS YOU'VE DONE THIS
YEAR.
>> I HITTED MY BROTHER ONCE A YEAR.
>> Jimmy: ONCE A YEAR? WHEN DID YOU HIT HIM?
>> THE DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY.
>> Jimmy: THE DAY AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOU HIT YOUR BROTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHY DID YOU HIT HIM?
>> HE CALLED ME NAMES.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID HE CALL YOU?
>> BABIES.
>> Jimmy: HE CALLED YOU BABIES. AND YOU'RE NOT A BABY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHO SHOULD GET MORE PRESENTS, YOU OR HIM?
>> ME.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. WHAT PRESENTS WOULD YOU LIKE
THIS YEAR?
>> I LIKE A NEW BIKE AND A NEW SPIDER‐MAN SUIT.
AND A NEW RACE CAR SET AND AN ELF SUIT.
>> Jimmy: AN ELF SUIT? HOLD ON RIGHT THERE.
WHY DO YOU WANT AN ELF SUIT?
>> I DO NOT HAVE ONE YET.
>> Jimmy: WOULD YOU LOVE TO COME WORK WITH US AT THE NORTH POLE?
WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU. WE'RE ACTUALLY ACCEPTING
APPLICATIONS RIGHT NOW.
>> Guillermo: IT'S VERY COLD.
>> IT'S VERY COLD?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S VERY COLD. DO YOU LIKE THE COLD?
>> I HAVE SNOW JACKETS. AND SNOW PANTS AND SNOW HATS.
>> Jimmy: GREAT. ARE YOU A SMOKER?
>> UH‐HUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE, YOU SMOKE? HOW MANY CIGARETTES DO YOU SMOKE
EVERY DAY?
>> FIVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: FIVE CIGARETTES, ALL RIGHT, THAT'S NOT BAD.
LET ME ASK YOU A COUPLE OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF.
ARE YOU A HARD WORKER?
>> UH‐HUH. A VERY HARD WORKER.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE WE WORK VERY HARD HERE AT THE NORTH POLE.
ARE YOU PROFICIENT IN MICROSOFT EXCEL? YEAH? OKAY. PHOTOSHOP?
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SHOVEL REINDEER POOP?
WE MIGHT HAVE A SPOT FOR YOU UP HERE.
>> Guillermo: YEAH. I THINK HE MIGHT BE GOOD.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY, ON CHRISTMAS EVE, TRY
TO STAY AWAKE. BECAUSE SANTA MIGHT WANT TO TALK
TO YOU, OKAY? ALL RIGHT, GREAT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE DECIDED TO DO, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE, WE SENT YOU A
PRESENT EARLY THIS YEAR. THAT'S RIGHT. ARE YOU EXCITED?
THERE IT IS. YOU WANT TO OPEN IT NOW OR DO
YOU WANT TO WAIT?
>> WAIT.
>> Jimmy: WAIT TILL WHAT? CHRISTMAS?
WHY DON'T YOU OPEN IT NOW, SEE IF YOU LIKE IT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? IT'S WATCH BATTERIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU HAVE A WATCH?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE THOSE
DOWN TO THE MALL AND SELL THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, NICE TO MEET YOU, LINCOLN. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
ENJOY THE WATCH BATTERIES!
>> BYE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANKS, LINCOLN. WE GOT A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT.
KAWHI LEONARD IS WITH US FROM THE CLIPPERS.
MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI, AND BE RIGHT BACK WITH POST MALONE SO
STICK AROUND!
♪
>> Jimmy: HI THERE, WELCOME BACK.
COMING UP, FROM THE LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS, THE GREAT
KAWHI LEONARD IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN LATER, HIS ALBUM IS CALLED "DIVINELY UNINSPIRED TO A
HELLISH EXTENT," LEWIS CAPALDI FROM HIS PANDORA LIVE SHOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU CAN RSVP TO SEE A FULL SHOW WITH LEWIS THURSDAY NIGHT, THIS
THURSDAY NIGHT, 9:00 EASTERN. GO TO LIVE.PANDORA.COM.
IS THURSDAY TOMORROW? BY THURSDAY I MEAN TOMORROW.
TOMORROW NIGHT ON OUR SHOW, OUR GUESTS ARE VIOLA DAVIS, DAVEED
DIGGS, MUSIC FROM THE BIRD AND THE BEE FEATURING DAVE GROHL, SO
JOIN US FOR THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
MULTI‐PLATINUM SELLING MUSICIAN, SONGWRITER, AND PRODUCER, WHOSE
STAGE NAME MEANS LITERALLY "AN HISTORICAL PERIOD AFTER MALONE."
HIS ALBUM "HOLLYWOOD'S BLEEDING" AND SINGLE "CIRCLES" ARE
NOMINATED FOR THREE GRAMMY AWARDS, AND YOU CAN SEE HIM
HEADLINE THE "BUD LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE
2021" LIVESTREAM EVENT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
PLEASE WELCOME POST MALONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Jimmy: I'M HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY, NOT AS HAPPY AS MY DAD IS.
MY DAD, AND THIS IS NO JOKE, THIS IS NOT SOMETHING HE'S DONE
FOR EFFECT, IS A VERY BIG FAN OF YOURS.
HE INFORMED ME OF THIS ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
IN FACT, HE TEXTED THIS TO ME. "HEARD MY BUD POST IS ON THE
SHOW TOMORROW, SAY HI FOR ME, JUST LISTENING TO CIRCLES."
>> WHAT A LEGEND, YES, SIR, HE'S A BADASS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MY DAD'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS AS WELL.
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S NICE, ALL RIGHT.
>> WE CAN TRADE OFF IF YOU'D LIKE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, MAYBE EACH ONE OF THEM WOULD APPRECIATE US MORE.
>> SURE, SURE.
>> Jimmy: I HEARD YOUR DAD WAS A WEDDING DEEJAY, WHICH IS
SOMETHING I DID WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE.
I WAS ALSO A WEDDING DEEJAY. IS THAT CORRECT?
>> YEAH, YES, SIR. I THINK, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I WAS A
LITTLE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING.
BUT I REMEMBER THOSE SIDEBURNS THAT HE HAD.
>> Jimmy: I HAD THOSE TOO. YOU HAD TO HAVE THEM.
BECAUSE IT GAVE YOU SOMETHING, WHEN YOU HAD THE ONE HEADPHONE
UP TO YOUR EAR, GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO RUB UP AGAINST IF
YOU HAD TO.
>> YEAH, YOU NEVER KNOW. KEEPS THE HEADPHONES IN PLACE.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU WOULD NOT CREDIT THAT TO INSPIRING YOUR
LOVE FOR MUSIC?
>> I'M SURE. I'M SURE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO
WITH IT. YOU KNOW, I WAS ALWAYS AROUND
MUSIC, FROM WHAT HE WAS PLAYING, A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW, THAT JUST GAVE ME AN APPRECIATION, I GUESS, FOR
EVERYTHING. AND ESPECIALLY LIKE WEDDING‐TYPE
MUSIC.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. WHEN YOU SAY WEDDING‐TYPE MUSIC,
WHAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD? WHAT POPS INTO MY HEAD, THE
FIRST SONG IS "CELEBRATION" BY KOOL & THE GANG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, OF COURSE, STUFF LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS? WHAT IS POST MALONE'S NUMBER ONE
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG OF ALL TIME?
>> THAT'S ROUGH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S HARD.
>> IT IS HARD. I LIKE, YOU KNOW ‐‐ WHAT'S THE
ONE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT CHESTNUTS?
>> Jimmy: ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE.
>> THAT'S THE ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A CHESTNUT?
>> I HAVE HAD A CHESTNUT. JIMMY, I THINK THEY TASTE
TERRIBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DID YOU ROAST THEM OVER AN OPEN FIRE, THOUGH?
>> NO, I THINK IT WAS OUT OF A BAG. I JUST ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A
LITTLE DIFFERENT OVER AN OPEN FIRE.
>> Jimmy: I THINK THE SONG WAS WRITTEN BEFORE WE HAD KIT KATS
IS WHAT HAPPENED. PEOPLE USED TO THINK, OH, WOW,
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.
>> I'M GOING TO MAKE MY NEW SONG "IT'S KIT KATS OVER AN OVER
FIRE."
>> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. I HEARD YOU LIKE TO GO TO C
COSTCO. DID YOU GO TO COSTCO, THE ONE
NEAR YOUR HOUSE?
>> YES, SIR, THERE'S A COSTCO MAYBE 10 MINUTES FROM HERE.
I NEVER KNEW THE BEAUTY OF COSTCO, AND ONE DAY I WOKE UP
AND I HAD AN EPIPHANY. AND I WAS JUST LIKE, LET'S GO TO
COSTCO.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> GET UP, GET OUT OF BED, GO STRAIGHT TO COSTCO.
I GOT MY MEMBERSHIP CARD. IT'S THE WORST PICTURE ON THE
BACK I'VE EVER SEEN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
>> Jimmy: IT IS.
>> HEAVEN.
>> Jimmy: IT IS. I COULD NOT POSSIBLY AGREE WITH
YOU MORE. WHEN I WALK INTO COSTCO, I LOOK
AROUND, I GO, OH, THIS IS WHY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HATES US.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS IT.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE EVERYTHING'S THERE.
AND IT IS ‐‐ I'VE BEEN A MEMBER SINCE 1994.
SO MY MEMBERSHIP CARD IS ‐‐ MY PICTURE'S 26 YEARS OLD.
>> OLDER THAN ME.
>> Jimmy: I LOOK LIKE MY OWN SON ON THE PICTURE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I LOVE IT, I DO.
>> YEAH, NO.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WAIT IN LINE FOR THE SAMPLES OR DOES THAT NOT
INTEREST YOU?
>> I'M NOT A SAMPLE GUY. I'M NOT A VERY PATIENT GUY.
>> Jimmy: ME NEITHER.
>> I NEED TO GET OUT, GET MY GOODY SDMS I'M AGAINST SAMPLES
AND PEOPLE FIND THIS SHOCKING. IF YOU'RE AT COSTCO, THE PEOPLE
IN THE LINE JUST GET IN MY WAY.
>> WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE SAMPLES COMPLETELY, OR LET YOU
JUST SAMPLE STUFF OFF THE SHELF.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, THAT'S NICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TAKE SOMETHING OUT, JUST GO FOR IT.
>> Jimmy: SPREAD IT OUT A LITTLE BIT. THIS IS VERY WEIRD.
AND I REALLY ‐‐ I FEEL COMPELLED TO ASK YOU ABOUT IT.
BECAUSE YOUR DENTIST POSTED A PHOTO OF YOU IN HIS OFFICE.
AND THAT'S WEIRD TO START WITH. AND YOUR DENTIST IS THE GUY IN
THE RED. THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE JUST
GOT OUT OF A UFC FIGHT, YEAH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, HE'S THE BIGGEST, BUFFEST DENTIST I'VE EVER SEEN
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, IT'S MIND BLOWING.
>> Jimmy: I AGREE WITH YOU.
>> HE HAS THE SOFTEST HANDS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BUT WHAT INTERESTS ME BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOUR
DENTIST LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE HEROES ON "THE WALKING DEAD" IS
THAT YOU'RE GETTING A TATTOO WHILE AT THE DENTIST.
WHY ARE YOU GETTING A TATTOO THERE?
>> TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE, WHY NOT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DID YOU SUGGEST THIS TO YOUR TATTOO ARTIST?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, WE TALKED ABOUT IT. WE WERE JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW,
I'LL BE SITTING AROUND FOR HOURS DOING NOTHING ANYWAYS, WHY NOT
GET TWO BAD THINGS OUT OF THE WAY AT THE SAME TIME?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU FEEL LIKE ‐‐ DO YOU GET THE NITROUS OXIDE WHEN
YOU GO TO THE DENTIST OR NO?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF.
>> Jimmy: TAKE THE EDGE OFF, YEAH.
AND IT TAKES THE EDGE OFF THE TATTOO.
THAT IS MULTI‐TASKING LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
>> I TELL YOU WHAT, MAN, WELCOME TO THE FUTURE, MAN, THIS IS
GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: POST MALONE IS WITH US. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL HAVE
MANY MORE THINGS TO COVER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. KAWHI LEONARD IS STILL TO COME.
LEWIS CAPALDI IS STILL TO COME. POST MALONE IS WITH US.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT GOING ON. I MENTIONED THE GRAMMY
NOMINATIONS, I MENTIONED YOUR NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL.
MAYBE MOST SIGNIFICANTLY, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CROCS.
>> OH! YOU LOOK SEXY!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HOW MUCH ARE YOU COLLABORATING WITH THE CROCS
PEOPLE ON THIS?
>> YOU KNOW, I LIKE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH MY CREATIVE TEAM
AND JUST KIND OF MAKING SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, KIND OF
FUNKY AND FUN. BUT SOMETHING THAT'S COMFORTABLE
AND YOU CAN WEAR FOR EVERYDAY, YOU KNOW.
SO WE KIND OF JUST GO BACK AND FORTH AND JUST PARTY HARD.
>> Jimmy: THEY ARE COMFORTABLE, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I FEEL ‐‐ I'M SURPRISINGLY ATTRACTED TO THEM, SINCE I PUT
THEM ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT SOMETHING ‐‐
>> YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THEM EVERY SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I WOULDN'T PULL THEM OFF THE SHELF, BUT NOW THAT I
HAVE THEM ON ‐‐ I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR MY DAD FOR
CHRISTMAS, DO THEY COME IN SIZE 12?
>> YES, OF COURSE, ANY SIZE YOU'D LIKE, JIMMY, YES, SIR.
>> Jimmy: THIS WOULD BE A GREAT LOOK FOR HIM AS WE CHECK HIM
INTO THE HOME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THEY'RE SLIP PROOF TOO.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOMINATED FOR THREE GRAMMY AWARDS.
AND THAT SHOW ‐‐
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
‐‐ IS AT THE END OF JANUARY, WE ASSUME.
WE NEVER KNOW WHEN ANYTHING IS ANYMORE.
NEW YEAR'S EVE, YOU'VE GOT THIS BUD LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS
PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE 2021, CATCHY TIGHT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD TIGHTEN THAT UP A LITTLE BIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S A MOUTHFUL.
>> Jimmy: TALK TO THE BUD LIGHT PEOPLE.
AFTER A COUPLE OF BUD LIGHTS, I'M NOT SURE ANYONE WILL BE ABLE
TO SAY THAT.
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN ‐‐
>> I CAN'T SAY IT SOBER, I DON'T IMAGINE SAYING IT DRUNK.
>> Jimmy: IS THIS A STRAIGHTFORWARD CONCERT?
OR ARE YOU DOING OTHER STUFF?
>> I'M DOING A COUPLE OF MY SONGS.
SOME ROCK 'N' ROLL LEGENDS. AND WE JUST KIND OF JAM OUT AND
HAVE A LITTLE FUN. YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S GOING TO
BE A LOT OF FUN.
>> Jimmy: THESE ROCK 'N' ROLL LEGENDS, ARE THEY PEOPLE THAT
YOU PARTICULARLY LIKED AND YOU REACHED OUT TO?
DID THEY REACH OUT TO YOU? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> YES, SIR. I MEAN, PEOPLE THAT I LIKE,
PEOPLE THAT ‐‐ I PLAY WITH WATIGAN, ANDREW WATIGAN, HE'S
JUST A BEAST. WE WRITE SONGS TOGETHER AND SUCH.
I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GIVE AWAY ANY NAMES BUT I THINK IT'S
GOING TO BE ‐‐
>> Jimmy: IT'S A SECRET, ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE IN UTAH RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PLACE IN UTAH?
>> YES, SIR.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHERE YOU LIVE?
>> YES, SIR. IT'S GREAT. YOU KNOW, I'M 30 MINUTES FROM
DOWNTOWN, AND IT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
YOU'VE GOT THE MOUNTAINS AND EVERYTHING. IT'S JUST KICK‐ASS.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU ABLE TO GET THE REAL BUD LIGHT OR DO YOU
HAVE TO DRINK THE UTAH VERSION OF BUD LIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, WHATEVER I CAN'T GET HERE, I CAN SMUGGLE IN FROM
WYOMING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. DON'T WORRY, IF YOU GET A VISIT
FROM THE AUTHORITIES, JUST CALL MY DAD, HE'LL HELP YOU OUT.
>> NO, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M HAPPY I GOT YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU TOO, HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS.
"HOLLYWOOD'S BLEEDING" IS OUT NOW, AND YOU CAN SEE THE "BUD
LIGHT SELTZER SESSIONS PRESENTS NEW YEAR'S EVE 2021" LIVESTREAM
EVENT DECEMBER 31 ON INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND YOUTUBE.
POST MALONE, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANKS, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH KAWHI LEONARD!
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
MUSIC FROM LEWIS CAPALDI IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST LED TWO DIFFERENT BASKETBALL TEAMS IN TWO
DIFFERENT COUNTRIES TO NBA TITLES, COLLECTING A FINALS MVP
AWARD EACH TIME, AND THEN DECIDED TO RETURN HOME TO
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. HIS SECOND SEASON IN L. A. KICKS
OFF DECEMBER 22nd AGAINST THE LAKERS.
FROM THE LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS, PLEASE WELCOME KAWHI LEONARD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, KAWHI. I'M SO GLAD TO GET A CHANCE TO
TALK TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A MYSTERIOUS MAN.
DO YOU FEEL YOU AR MYSTERIOUS MAN?
>> NO, I DON'T. THE PEOPLE AROUND ME KNOW WHO I
AM.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND SAY,
WHO IS THIS PERSON WHOSE TEETH I AM BRUSHING RIGHT NOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. I KNOW WHO I AM.
MY LOVED ONES KNOW WHO I AM, FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
>> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. WE HAVE SO ‐‐ WE SEE SO MUCH OF
SO MANY PEOPLE'S LIVES. YOU DON'T HAVE INSTAGRAM.
ON TWITTER YOU ‐‐ THIS IS KIND OF FUNNY.
THE LAST TIME I THINK YOU POSTED ON TWITTER WAS 2015.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND YOU POSTED A PICTURE OF YOUR HOVERBOARD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT BECAME OF THE HOVERBOARD?
>> MAN. THAT WAS A LITTLE TREND BACK IN
THE DAY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN ‐‐ I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN POST THAT.
I DON'T HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT. I DON'T KNOW THE PASSWORD TO IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW. YEAH, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU
EAT TACOS ON TUESDAY. WE KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU EAT TACOS ON TUESDAY?
>> DEFINITELY EAT TACOS, DEFINITELY. MAYBE NOT ON TUESDAY.
MEXICAN FOOD IS MY FAVORITE FOOD. I'M FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO TAKES THAT AS A COMPLIMENT TO HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE ARE A LOT OF ODD STORIES ABOUT YOU.
I WANT TO ASK ABOUT ONE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S VERY ODD.
THE STORY GOES LIKE THIS. YOU WERE AT A TEAM DINNER WITH
THE SPURS WHEN YOU PLAYED FOR THE SPURS. EVERYONE WAS EATING.
YOU DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING. INSTEAD YOU BROUGHT 12 APPLES TO
THE TABLE, RED APPLES. YOU SAT THERE WITH A KNIFE AND
FORK AND ATE EACH APPLE AND SAID, "IT'S APPLE TIME, APPLE
TIME."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHO CAME UP WITH THAT STORY?
>> Jimmy: THAT IS NOT TRUE?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> NO, NOT AT ALL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DO HAVE AN APPLE TREE. BUT I DIDN'T PICK MY APPLES AND
BRING THEM TO DINNER.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YOU ARE ‐‐ YOU'RE TWO‐TIME
DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR. AND DO YOU ‐‐ HOW MUCH OF THAT
DO YOU ATTRIBUTE TO YOUR ENORMOUS HANDS?
DO YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAY WE SEE THEM?
>> YEAH, LET ME FIND THEM.
>> Jimmy: WHEN YOU WERE A BABY, DID YOU HAVE HANDS THE SIZE OF A
REGULAR MAN AT THAT TIME?
>> I MEAN ‐‐ AS A BABY, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
BUT LIKE MY MOM TOLD ME WHEN I CAME OUT, EVERYBODY LOOKED AT MY
HANDS AND SAID THEY WERE SO BIG. I THINK I GET THEM FROM MY DAD.
>> Jimmy: ARE THERE DISADVANTAGES TO HAVING HUGE
HANDS LIKE THAT?
>> DEFINITELY. DEFINITELY. YOU KNOW, I DON'T NOTICE UNTIL I
SEE EITHER MY FRIENDS OR SOMEONE ELSE DOING AN ACTIVITY.
YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE, I CAN'T DO THAT.
LIKE PUTTING MY HANDS IN MY OWN POCKETS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE TOO SMALL. YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A GOOD THING YOU LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
>> I COULD GO ON AND ON.
>> Jimmy: WAIT A MINUTE, IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT TORONTO, BECAUSE
YOUR HANDS WERE COLD?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MAN. I COULDN'T FIND GLOVES TO FIT ME.
>> Jimmy: THE SEASON OPENS ON TUESDAY.
IT'S SO CRAZY THE SEASON OPENS TUESDAY.
IT SEEMS LIKE IT JUST ENDED. YOU GUYS PLAY THE LAKERS.
IS IT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TO PLAY THE TEAM YOU CHOSE NOT TO GO TO?
>> NO, NOT AT ALL. YOU KNOW, I'M HAPPY WITH MY
DECISION. AND, YOU KNOW, THEY DID A GREAT
JOB LAST YEAR. THEY DID THEIR THING.
>> Jimmy: YOUR SECOND GAME IS AGAINST DENVER, WHO YOU PLAYED
IN THE PLAYOFFS. AND THAT IS ON CHRISTMAS DAY.
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO PLAY BASKETBALL ON TELEVISION ON
CHRISTMAS DAY?
>> OH, I MEAN, IT'S A GREAT FEELING.
WHEN YOU'RE OUTSIDE AS A KID, YOU'RE PLAYING ON CHRISTMAS DAY
WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE ANY OTHER
DAY, TO ME. YOU KNOW, ONCE I GOT SELECTED TO
GO INTO THE NBA, I KNEW IT WAS NO HOLIDAYS IN THE NBA.
I JUST TELL MYSELF THAT SO I DON'T GET SAD WHEN I'M NOT ABLE
TO SEE MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS ON CERTAIN DAYS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> SO YOU KNOW, JUST GRIND IT OUT ALL SEASON LONG, WAIT TILL
THE SUMMERTIME, YOU KNOW. THAT'S WHEN WE CAN CELEBRATE
ANYTHING.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU EXCHANGE GIFTS WITH THE OTHER PLAYERS?
>> ON FUTURE TEAMS WE HAVE, WE DID A SECRET SANTA A COUPLE OF
TIMES.
>> Jimmy: OH. I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT SEEMS
FUNNY. SO YOU GUYS SIT AROUND THE LOCKER ROOM AND LIKE, OKAY,
TERRON, I HAVE YOU. IS THAT HOW IT GOES?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> USUALLY WE'LL PUT THE LAST NAME OR A JERSEY NUMBER INSIDE A
HAT. PASS IT AROUND THE ROOM. WHOEVER'S NUMBER OR NAME YOU
GET, THAT'S WHO YOU HAVE TO BUY A GIFT FOR.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE MAXIMUM YOU CAN SPEND, LIKE $1 MILLION ON
THE GIFT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL, SOME OF THE ROOKIES DON'T HAVE
THAT TYPE OF MONEY.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> WE LIMIT IT AT $100.
>> Jimmy: WOULD IT BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO GIVE
THEM YOUR NEW SHOE, YOUR NEW BALANCE SHOE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
KAWHI CHRISTMAS?
>> I LIKE WHAT I SEE RIGHT THERE, YES.
>> Jimmy: I'M WEARING THIS BECAUSE POST MALONE WAS ON
BEFORE, HE GAVE ME SOME CROCS.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE YOU GUYS COULD TEAM UP ON SOMETHING TOGETHER.
>> I LIKE THOSE.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS THE KAWHI CHRISTMAS SHOE.
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A CHRISTMAS SHOE, IT LOOKS LIKE, FRANKLY, A
HANUKKAH SHOE, BLUE AND WHITE.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU GO TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE'S HOMES, YOU SEE
DIFFERENT COLORED CHRISTMAS TREES. YOU KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO DO A LITTLE WINTER VIBE.
I GOT THE INSPIRATION FROM A
SNOW WATT SUIT.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
>> A CREATURE THAT HIBERNATES THROUGH THE SUMMERTIME.
THEIR FURNITURES WHITE DURING THE WINTER.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHERE I PRETTY MUCH GOT THE CONCEPT FROM.
WITH BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY DON'T SEE THAT MUCH.
ONCE THE SEASON COMES, YOU KNOW, THE BEAST IS RELEASED.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, THE LAKERS HAVE JACK NICHOLSON, THEIR
NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY FAN, LITTLE QUESTION ABOUT THAT.
WHO WOULD YOU SAY IS THE CLIPPERS' NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY
FAN?
>> I'D HAVE TO SAY BILLY CRYSTAL.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT, BILLY CRYSTAL IS THE NUMBER ONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HE'S NOT A BANDWAGON FAN, HE'S BEEN THROUGH DARK YEARS RITH THE
CLIPPERS. ARE YOU A FAN OF BILLY CRYSTAL'S?
>> SOME OF HIS MOVIES WERE BEFORE MY TIME.
THE ONE WITH MARY? OR THE LADY THAT, YOU KNOW ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?
>> Jimmy: OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.
BILLY KNOWS SO MUCH ABOUT THE CLIPPERS.
WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW ABOUT
BILLY. TO HELP US OUT, HERE IS THE MAN
HIMSELF. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. BILLY
CRYSTAL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HELLO, BILLY.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: KAWHI IS HERE.
>> HEY, KAWHI.
>> HOW YOU DOING?
>> GOOD. I'VE GOT ‐‐ EVERYTHING'S BEFORE
HIS TIME. EVERYTHING IS BEFORE HIS TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK, LOOK. LOOK AT THIS, CAN YOU SEE THIS?
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT?
>> THAT'S MY NBA BASKETBALL CARD THAT THEY MADE ME, THAT'S MY
HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL PICTURE. YOU SEE THE SCAB ON MY KNEE,
JIMMY?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT FROM A GAME. I TRIPPED ON MY WAY TO THE PHOTO
SHOOT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I JUST THOUGHT IT LOOKED COOL, LIKE I PLAYED A LOT, SO
I ‐‐ YEAH, SO I KEPT IT, YEAH. THAT'S AN OLD PICTURE.
>> Jimmy: BILLY, YOU KNOW A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THE CLIPPERS,
WHAT NUMBER DOES KAWHI LEONARD WEAR?
>> 17. NO, HE WEARS NUMBER 2.
>> Jimmy: WHERE DID HE PLAY COLLEGE BASKETBALL?
>> STARTED YESHIVA, THEN TRANSFERRED TO SAN DIEGO STATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU SPELL KAWHI?
>> K‐A‐W‐H‐I.
>> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. BILLY KNOWS A LOT ABOUT YOU, NOW
BILLY IS GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM AND HIS BODY
OF WORK. FOR EVERY CORRECT ANSWER, YOU
WILL GET A CRYSTAL BALL, ALL RIGHT?
FOR EVERY WRONG ANSWER, BILLY WILL BE MAD AT YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ARE YOU READY? SHALL WE DO THIS?
>> LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
>> FIRST QUESTION. IN "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY," WHICH
WAS MADE IN 1875 ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT AFTER MEG RYAN FAKES HER ORGASM, WHAT DOES ONE OF THE
WOMEN IN THE DELI SAY TO HER?
>> "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NOT CORRECT.
>> NOT CORRECT, NO. SHE SAYS, "I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S
HAVING."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: GO WITH SOMETHING MORE CURRENT, BILLY.
>> NO, NOW I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO GET HIM FOR CHRISTMAS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> DON'T MAKE ME SPELL YOUR NAME.
>> IN THE ANIMATED MOVIE "MONSTERS, INC.," THIS IS THE
CHARACTER.
>> YES.
>> WHAT'S HIS NAME?
>> ONE‐EYED GREEN MONSTER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HIS NAME IS MIKE WICZOWSKI.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS CLOSE, I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HIM ONE FOR
THAT.
>> OKAY. IS THE MOVIE CALLED "CITY
SLICKERS" KAWHI? THIS IS A TALKY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MY CHARACTER, MITCH, ALONG WITH
THE GREAT ACTOR, JPALANCE, ON TE
TRAIL, IT'S A WESTERN, WE
DELIVER A BABY WHAT?
>> A HUMAN? A DOG?
>> NO. IT WAS A WASSAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, IT WAS A BABY COW, HIS NAME WAS NORMAN.
SPEAKING OF SHOES, I'VE GOT TO SHOW YOU THIS.
IF WE HAVE A SECOND. THIS IS ‐‐ LOOK AT THE SIZE OF
THIS. THIS IS GEORGE MUIRSON'S SHOE.
WE DID A MOVIE TOGETHER CALLED "MY GIANT." THIS IS A SIZE 24.
>> WOW. THAT'S BIG.
>> I SLEPT IN THIS LAST NIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SURPRISINGLY COMFORTABLE. IT'S A LITTLE NARROW.
BUT I WANTED YOU TO SEE THAT. JIMMY, DO WE HAVE A PRIZE FOR
HIM?
>> Jimmy: YES. WELL, YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE A
PRIZE, I DON'T HAVE ANY PRIZES HERE, BILLY.
>> OKAY. SO KAWHI, FOR PLAYING ALONG, AND
I'M SUCH A GIGANTIC FAN AND HAVE BEEN WITH THE CLIPPERS FOREVER,
WISHING YOU GUYS THE BEST. I WISH I COULD BE THERE.
WE'VE GOT TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS.
I HAVE FOR YOU A CLIPPERS HOME JERSEY.
AND IT'S GOT MY NAME ON IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO IF YOU WEAR THAT OPENING NIGHT, NAME YOUR CHARITY, AND
I'LL THROW IN A COUPLE BUCKS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, BILLY. THANK YOU, KAWHI.
THE KAWHI CHRISTMAS SHOE FROM NEW BALANCE IS OUT NOW.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, BILLY CRYSTAL.
WATCH THE CLIPPERS CHRISTMAS DAY ON ESPN.
KAWHI LEONARD, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LEWIS
CAPALDI.
>> Dicky: TONIGHT'S PERFORMANCE BY LEWIS CAPALDI ON "JIMMY
KIMMEL LIVE" IS PRESENTED BY PANDORA.
GO TO LIVE.PANDORA.COM THIS THURSDAY TO SEE THE FULL SHOW.
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK POST MALONE, KAWHI LEONARD, AND
BILLY CRYSTAL, APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST,
HIS ALBUM IS CALLED "DIVINELY UNINSPIRED TO A HELLISH EXTENT."
WITH THE SONG "BEFORE YOU GO," LEWIS CAPALDI!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ I FELL BY THE WAYSIDE
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ♪
♪ I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU BUT I WAS JUST KIDDING MYSELF ♪
♪ OUR EVERY MOMENT
I START TO REPLACE ♪
♪ CAUSE NOW
THAT THEY'RE GONE I HEAR ALL THE WORDS
THAT I NEEDED TO SAY ♪
♪ WHEN YOU HURT
UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE TROUBLED WATER
RUNNING COLD ♪
♪ WELL TIME CAN HEAL
BUT THIS WON'T ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪
♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN
YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪
♪ IT KILLS ME HOW YOUR MIND
CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS NEVER THE RIGHT TIME ♪
♪ WHENEVER YOU CALLED
WENT LITTLE BY LITTLE BY LITTLE UNTIL
THERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL ♪
♪ OUR EVERY MOMENT
I START TO REPLAY ♪
♪ BUT ALL I CAN
THINK ABOUT IS SEEING THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU HURT
UNDER THE SURFACE LIKE TROUBLED WATER
RUNNING COLD ♪
♪ WELL TIME CAN HEAL
BUT THIS WON'T ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪
♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN
YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪
♪ IT KILLS ME
HOW YOUR MIND CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WOULD WE BE BETTER OFF BY NOW ♪
♪ IF I'D HAVE
LET MY WALLS COME DOWN
MAYBE I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW YOU KNOW YOU KNOW ♪
♪ BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
YOUR HEART BEAT BETTER ♪
♪ IF ONLY I'D HAVE KNOWN
YOU HAD A STORM TO WEATHER ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
WAS THERE SOMETHING I COULD'VE SAID TO MAKE
IT ALL STOP HURTING ♪
♪ IT KILLS ME
HOW YOUR MIND CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS ♪
♪ SO BEFORE YOU GO
♪