1 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,071 >> dicky: From hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" 2 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,007 tonight -- mila kunis, kj apa, and music 3 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:19,284 from sam dew. And now jimmy kimmel! 4 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,221 >> jimmy: Hi there, everyone. I'm jimmy, I'm the host. 5 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,422 Thanks for watching. Thank you for joining us. 6 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,825 We have a lot to get to on another bananas day in american 7 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:27,993 politics. Day two of trump impeachment 8 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:32,698 trial number two. I have to say it was as boring 9 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,834 and pointless as most of yesterday was. 10 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,572 What the house managers presented today was gripping. 11 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,142 Never-before-seen videos of the rioters terrorizing 12 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:47,846 congresspeople. Mitt romney had to run. 13 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:48,947 They had video of that. The mob was knocking out 14 00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:52,351 windows, banging on doors, looking for nancy pelosi. 15 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,654 Chanting "hang mike pence!" they erected a noose for 16 00:00:55,689 --> 00:01:03,695 mike pence. They showed video of pence and 17 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,464 his wife and daughter, who had to hide, being evacuated from 18 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,899 the building to get away from the army of dangerous imbeciles 19 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:11,336 the president sent his way. And trump sat in his office and 20 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:15,174 said nothing for hours. In fact, he tweeted again 21 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,743 blaming his own vice president, saying he didn't have the 22 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,046 courage to do what needed to be done. 23 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:25,184 It was a very powerful presentation. 24 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,987 Much more so than anything I'd seen before. 25 00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:31,990 I have no idea how you could watch that and vote for anything 26 00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,126 other than "guilty as charged." trump should have been removed 27 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,228 from office that day. [ cheers and applause ] 28 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,230 here's how you know how damning it was. 29 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:45,504 The trial was aired live on abc, nbc, cnn, cbs. 30 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,405 The only channel that cut away? Fox news. 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,673 Gee, I wonder why? [ laughter ] 32 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,875 today was a successful day for donald trump's lawyers in that 33 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:54,446 they did not speak. [ laughter ] 34 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:58,150 trump's legal team did not get great reviews for their 35 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,918 performance yesterday. >> the former president's 36 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:04,123 attorneys did such an awful job. >> bruce castor offering a 37 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:07,960 rambling defense, heavy on the rambling, light on the defense. 38 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,429 >> rambled, disorganized, embarrassed, terrible. 39 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:15,067 >> they sounded like lawyers who didn't know what they were 40 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,235 talking about. >> sort of woke up this morning 41 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,604 and thought, oh, shoot, I have to put on a trial today. 42 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:23,275 >> a little meandering, a little free associative. 43 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,811 >> well. >> let's just say -- go ahead. 44 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:29,515 >> it was terrible, the performance was atrocious by any 45 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,116 standard. >> that was a good day, I'd hate 46 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:34,119 to see a bad one. >> this was lunacy. 47 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:36,822 >> embarrassing performance. >> these guys were terrible they 48 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,658 provided a terrible performance, but they had a terrible client. 49 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,928 >> jimmy: Oh, wait, come on now. Now you're going to blame the 50 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,030 guy who did it? [ laughter ] 51 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,065 I've said it before and I'll say it again, put rudy in the game! 52 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,368 [ laughter ] let's get some involuntary 53 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:56,041 flatulence going. Let's get some hair dye 54 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,676 dripping! Pull that man down from the 55 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,145 ceiling of his cave and get him on the senate floor! 56 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,346 [ laughter ] trump's lawyers will be back 57 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:05,417 tomorrow to try to counter what the house presented today. 58 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:06,585 Good luck to them. Their argument is basically 59 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:10,589 telling republican senators, "nice jobs you got there. 60 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,892 Be a shame if something were to happen to them." 61 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:17,763 trump was not happy with how it went yesterday. 62 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,097 They say the last time he was this mad was when he found out 63 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,701 there was a donald trump jr. [ laughter ] 64 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,705 the fraudigal son was hamming it up on "hannity" last night. 65 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,807 You're not going to believe this but djtj believes we should 66 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:34,780 leave daddy alone. >> 44 republicans have already 67 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:42,321 voted to say that the sham impeachment part "d" eux is 68 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,156 unconstitutional. Aren't we in the middle of a 69 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,592 pandemic, sean? I thought these senators would 70 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,993 maybe have something better to do. 71 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,630 Maybe they would actually fight for the american people for a 72 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,031 change. Maybe they would actually get to 73 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,867 the business of helping us through this pandemic. 74 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,469 >> jimmy: There is so much wrong with that clip, I don't know 75 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,738 where to start. [ laughter ] 76 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:00,906 aren't we in the middle of a pandemic? 77 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,442 Not according to your dad. He said it was going away almost 78 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,310 a year ago. [ laughter ] 79 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:09,214 why didn't you drink bleach when your father told you to? 80 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:18,690 [ laughter ] [ applause ] 81 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:19,958 part "d" eux-bag. [ laughter ] 82 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,360 you know, impeachment wasn't the only order of business in the 83 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,528 senate today. They had a hearing for biden's 84 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:27,366 pick to run the office of management and budget. 85 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:33,438 A woman named neera tanden. During the hearing, republicans 86 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,440 dug up some of her old mean tweets which is rich for a bunch 87 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,508 of people who defend trump. But not all of her tweets 88 00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,010 targeted republicans, some of them took shots at 89 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,213 bernie sanders. >> you call senator sanders 90 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:46,251 everything but an ignorant slut. >> that is not true. 91 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:50,522 >> when you said these things, did you mean them? 92 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:53,158 >> I wouldn't say ignorant. >> I must have meant them, but I 93 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,961 really regret them. >> I want the record to reflect 94 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,930 that I did not call senator sanders an ignorant slut. 95 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:04,269 Okay? >> I don't know how I should 96 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,470 take that senator kennedy. [ laughter ] 97 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:09,608 [ applause ] >> jimmy: You know, I have to 98 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:14,179 say -- poor bernie, he puts on one pair of sexy mittens and 99 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,549 this is what he gets. [ laughter ] 100 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,284 all right, enough politics. Who wants to see justin bieber's 101 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,552 new car? [ cheers and applause ] 102 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:21,620 really? Justin bieber has purchased a 103 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:27,592 custom-made rolls royce. There it is, the batmobeeb. 104 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:35,133 [ laughter ] looks like a car-shaped baking 105 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:39,237 pan. If you lift it, it's a birthday 106 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:42,441 cake for a boy. He's going to look so cool 107 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:45,043 sitting in that. In tampa today they had a 108 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,478 victory boat parade for the super bowl champions. 109 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:50,515 The goat was in a boat. You can see tom brady throwing 110 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:54,786 the lombardi trophy to rob gronkowski in the other boat. 111 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,756 This is what happens when you have too many trophies, you 112 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,125 start throwing them around. Brady definitely had fun. 113 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,262 After the festivities, he had to be helped out. 114 00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,531 [ applause ] my god, look at what florida did 115 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,634 to tom brady! [ laughter ] 116 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,237 he's totally gronked. Valentine's day is only four 117 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:17,909 days away. So start preparing your mawkish, 118 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,245 half-sincere facebook posts about how much you love your 119 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,914 spouse. [ laughter ] 120 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,084 are you going to post about your wife on facebook? 121 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,986 >> guillermo: No, jimmy, never. >> jimmy: Or instagram? 122 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,020 No, never? >> guillermo: No. 123 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,323 >> jimmy: Why not? Don't you think she would like 124 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,125 that? >> guillermo: No, she wouldn't. 125 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,260 >> jimmy: She would hate it? >> guillermo: Yeah. 126 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,229 >> jimmy: Or the. They're saying don't do anything 127 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,164 on valentine's day, the health officials. 128 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:44,002 They say it could lead to another surge in covid-19. 129 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:47,172 Why everyone's so eager to celebrate valentine's day, I 130 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,508 have no -- we've never had a better excuse to skip it than 131 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,876 this year. [ laughter ] 132 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,778 but if you are in the market for a valentine's gift, here's a 133 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:56,381 great idea. >> this year, get her the one 134 00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:05,056 thing she's been waiting for. The covid-19 vaccine. 135 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,160 From pfizer. Don't just be her somebody. 136 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,930 Be her antibody. Because the quickest way to the 137 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:19,171 heart is a syringe. Inoculate yourselves with love. 138 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,773 The covid-19 vaccine from pfizer. 139 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:26,211 Not available anywhere. [ laughter ] 140 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,881 >> jimmy: Yeah. You know, one of the most 141 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,650 romantic things you can be is not dead. 142 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,318 A lot of couples have been forced to spend a lot of time 143 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,586 together during the pandemic. And while you might think that 144 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,657 would lead to more sex, a recent study from the kinsey institute 145 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,561 says that married couples are making love less under lockdown. 146 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,964 Than they were -- I guess prison isn't as sexy as they say it is. 147 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:50,302 [ laughter ] so with valentine's day coming 148 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,237 up, we decided to do some research of our own out on 149 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,040 hollywood boulevard in a game called "how many times a month 150 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:59,144 do you have sex?" [ cheers and applause ] 151 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,846 it's a fun game. The reason why it's fun is 152 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,948 because our first couple, they don't know what I'm about to ask 153 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:08,587 them. Let's turn on the speaker so 154 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,988 they can hear me. Hello there. 155 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,122 >> hey! >> hey. 156 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:15,093 >> jimmy: What are your names? >> my name is harrison. 157 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,661 >> alicia. >> jimmy: Harrison and alicia, 158 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,463 how long have you been together? >> about a year now. 159 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:19,631 >> jimmy: Where are you from? >> miami. 160 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:24,836 >> jimmy: Miami, florida. So you're on vacation right now? 161 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,639 >> vacation and some business, a little mix of both. 162 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,575 >> jimmy: Okay, all right. Here's how this game works. 163 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:35,814 I'm going to ask a question. You will each write down your 164 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,415 answer. Don't answer out loud, don't 165 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,651 consult one another. We want to know what you each 166 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,319 write down. Think about it on your own and 167 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,488 write down the honest answer, got it? 168 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,423 >> okay. >> jimmy: The question is, and 169 00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,425 we're looking for a specific number, how many times a month 170 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:50,929 do you have sex? All right? 171 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:59,204 So think about it. Write down the number. 172 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,740 Average month. It's always interesting to 173 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,642 see -- because sometimes the answers are different. 174 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,612 All right, the time is up. All right, we'll start with 175 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:11,983 alicia. Alicia, let's start with you. 176 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,553 You say ten times a month. Law. 177 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:15,921 [ applause ] you're getting applause, alicia. 178 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,658 And harrison? Your answer is? 179 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,525 Ten times a month! [ cheers and applause ] 180 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:28,166 wow. I was -- what, do you have a 181 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:31,369 spread sheet or something? [ laughter ] 182 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,606 how is that so precise? >> well. 183 00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:37,442 It actually should be more. But I'm going to lead that up to 184 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:41,546 her on how to answer that. [ laughter ] 185 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,281 if it was up to me, it would be a lot more. 186 00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:46,618 >> jimmy: Yeah, okay. But seems like you're right on. 187 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:49,754 You really know. Is it a scheduled every three 188 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,890 days thing? >> I'm counting. 189 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,725 I guess sometimes if I reach my limit, I'm cut off. 190 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,561 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: I see, all right. 191 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,197 All right, thank you guys. We have a gift for you. 192 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:03,168 We have, well, since you're so intimate with each other, we've 193 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:07,205 got -- oh, what is that? Dinner for two at buffalo wild 194 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:07,872 wings, yes. [ cheers and applause ] 195 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:13,311 don't go inside. All right. 196 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,312 Ten times a month, guillermo. >> guillermo: Wow. 197 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:21,553 More than -- I do, yeah. [ laughter ] 198 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:26,591 >> jimmy: Were you about. >> to say more than we do? 199 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,226 [ laughter ] that's even more than we do! 200 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,796 All right, let's meet our next -- I guess they're 201 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,799 contestants, I don't know. Let's meet our next couple. 202 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,936 Hi, there, what are your names? >> andrew. 203 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:38,903 >> sid. >> jimmy: Andrew and sid. 204 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,740 I know a little bit about andrew and sid. 205 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:45,477 I know that you are the parents of one of the young ladies that 206 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,712 works here on the show, molly. >> that's right. 207 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:48,813 >> true. >> jimmy: Right. 208 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:53,918 [ cheers and applause ] so you've been married for a 209 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,388 long time, right? Molly's an adult. 210 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,490 >> 25 years next month. >> jimmy: 25 years next month. 211 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:04,496 [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. 212 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,564 After 25 years, here's your question. 213 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,269 Write your answer, don't say it out loud, don't consult each 214 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,737 other. Write it down. 215 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,638 How many times a month do you have sex? 216 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:18,777 [ laughter ] >> your daughter is standing 217 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,813 right here, jimmy. >> jimmy: Yeah, molly's going to 218 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,948 love this. Can we see molly's reaction to 219 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,183 this? All right, molly. 220 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:29,054 >> I live with them! >> jimmy: What's that, molly? 221 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,690 >> I live with them! >> jimmy: Oh, you live with 222 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,024 them, yeah. [ laughter ] 223 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,225 you came out of one of them, yeah. 224 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,662 >> this is not -- >> jimmy: Yeah, I'm sure this is 225 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,097 upsetting. >> really? 226 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:39,831 Really? >> jimmy: You know what, this is 227 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:45,970 called science. [ laughter ] 228 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:50,375 maybe this will make you want to move out, huh? 229 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,610 How far is your room from theirs, molly? 230 00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,946 >> not far enough! [ laughter ] 231 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:59,651 >> jimmy: Okay. All right. 232 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:03,288 Molly's parents, okay. All right. 233 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:06,658 We'll start with you, mom. What is the number? 234 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,993 What is the number? Go ahead. 235 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,362 Reveal. >> oh, man. 236 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,530 I can't believe that this is my question. 237 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,532 Okay. >> jimmy: This is your question. 238 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:19,104 Eight, wow. [ applause ] 239 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:26,644 and andrew? It says? 240 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,512 Four. Wow. 241 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:33,084 So how can there be that much of a gulf? 242 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,221 Maybe -- it looks like maybe, andrew, you slept through some 243 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,322 of those times? [ laughter ] 244 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:41,760 >> it's not as good for me as it is for sid, I guess. 245 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,162 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Eight times. 246 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:47,599 >> guess what, guess what? >> jimmy: Molly, is that higher 247 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,968 or lower than -- molly what do you think the number is? 248 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:54,973 >> I don't know. I -- no comment. 249 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,007 No comment. >> jimmy: I mean, eight and 250 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,143 four? That's a big difference. 251 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,946 Like is one of you in a sex cult and the other one doesn't know 252 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,982 it? [ laughter ] 253 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:09,721 you know we're counting the times you're together, right? 254 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,523 All right. Well, happy valentine's day. 255 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,125 And happy anniversary to you. >> thank you, jimmy. 256 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,395 >> jimmy: And molly, happy nightmares tonight, I guess. 257 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:22,734 >> thanks. Pl 258 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:26,504 [ applause ] >> I'm going to go home and work 259 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,174 on upping my ante. >> jimmy: All right. 260 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,843 We have a gift before you go. And that gift is? 261 00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:35,013 It's a puzzle, a 5,000-piece puzzle. 262 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,448 [ cheers and applause ] there you go. 263 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,050 Still, either way, pretty healthy. 264 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:45,490 Thank you very much. What's that game called? 265 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,058 "how many times do you have sex." 266 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,260 all right. Apologies to all our fearless 267 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,196 couples tonight. We've got a great show. 268 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,232 Kj apa is with us. We have music from sam dew and 269 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,200 be right back with mila kunis, on stick around! 270 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,948 >> jimmy: Hi, there. Welcome back to the show. 271 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,716 Tonight, from the popular show "riverdale" on the cw, kj apa is 272 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,018 with us. [ cheers and applause ] 273 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:18,423 then later, he's written hits for rihanna and taylor swift. 274 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:22,794 Now he has his own album. It's called "moonlit fools." 275 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,429 it comes out February 26th. Music from sam dew. 276 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:28,466 [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, kevin james and 277 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:34,172 kat dennings will join us with music from mammoth wvh. 278 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:38,676 That is wolfgang van halen. Please join us for that. 279 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,011 [ cheers and applause ] our first guest of the eve is a 280 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,547 very talented person who is easily america's favorite mila. 281 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,250 Her new movie "breaking news in yuba county" opens in select 282 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,818 theaters and digitally on Friday. 283 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:52,690 Say hello to mila kunis. [ cheers and applause ] 284 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,260 >> jimmy: Hello, mila. >> hi, jimmy! 285 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,794 >> jimmy: How are you? >> oh, this is so weird. 286 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,796 I'm not going to lie, this is so strange. 287 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,064 >> jimmy: It is strange, it is strange. 288 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:04,669 It's strange too because I feel like I just saw you on Sunday, 289 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,971 you and ashton were in a super bowl commercial. 290 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:09,941 >> eating some cheetos. >> jimmy: Eating some cheetos, 291 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,810 that's right. Which your house looks a little 292 00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:15,914 bit different. Is shaggy still there? 293 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,682 >> what if shaggy just walked over here? 294 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:22,053 Just like, it wasn't me. >> jimmy: You know, it was 295 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,155 great. Yeah we did a commercial, it was 296 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,592 really great. One thing is shag by won't 297 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:31,596 leave, it's the strangers thing. >> hanging around in our house 298 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,432 with us, it's fine, guys. >> jimmy: Were you sitting there 299 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,602 waiting for your commercial to come on, watching the game? 300 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,504 >> one of us was. The other one was busy running 301 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,973 after some children. [ laughter ] 302 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:42,707 >> jimmy: Wait, let me guess which one was which. 303 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:50,548 [ laughter ] >> I would say in a 304 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,951 nonquarantined covid environment, he'd have friends 305 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:57,188 over, it would be a whole thing, we'd have our friends' kids 306 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,090 over, there would be a bouncy house. 307 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,327 >> jimmy: Right. >> but you know, it's a 308 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,462 pandemic, so it's the four of us. 309 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:10,401 And I was like, I love you, it's your birthday, I'll take the 310 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:15,039 kids, don't worry about it. So my kids were in and out, you 311 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,341 know what I mean? Pay attention, and then they 312 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,475 wouldn't. They're excited and they like 313 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,278 football, but they're 6 and 4. They're like, football, 314 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,348 squirrel! [ laughter ] 315 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,750 >> jimmy: Also, his birthday for real on Sunday? 316 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,452 >> yeah. >> jimmy: Oh, okay. 317 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,053 >> yeah. >> jimmy: Oh, all right. 318 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:34,058 >> his birthday's always either on super bowl or the day before, 319 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,960 day after. So it falls as his own birthday 320 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,530 present. >> jimmy: Were you bummed you 321 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,065 couldn't watch the game? Are you a football fan? 322 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,468 >> well, fan -- I mean, I love sports, okay? 323 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:49,507 I do. I love any sporting event live. 324 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,478 But sports on television for me is just not the same experience 325 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,980 as it is for a hard-core fanatic. 326 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,083 >> jimmy: Right. >> so I can pretend like I 327 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,551 understand what's happening. But I don't. 328 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:01,753 >> jimmy: You don't, yeah. >> I really don't. 329 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:06,324 Like I'm not the person who can realize what the play is. 330 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,726 >> jimmy: Yeah. >> so watching a game is like, 331 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,428 wait, what happened? Wait, what did he do? 332 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,931 Wait, what happened to the ball? Wait, I don't understand. 333 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,467 That's me the whole time. So I was a little bummed. 334 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,703 I got to watch the halftime show. 335 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:19,971 >> jimmy: Okay. >> that's all I really wanted to 336 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,005 see. >> jimmy: Do you remember which 337 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,775 teams were playing in the game? >> yeah, watch. 338 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,244 Kansas city chiefs and the buccaneers. 339 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,213 >> jimmy: You got it, all right. [ cheers and applause ] 340 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,548 so you weren't totally pretending. 341 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,216 >> thank god. >> jimmy: Was that ashton's 342 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,419 gift? You keeping the kids away from 343 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,654 him during the game? >> I mean, yeah, I'd like to 344 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:40,458 think so. But I -- you know, it's -- 345 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:43,194 again, we're in quarantine, this is only -- so I try to -- we try 346 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:49,700 to give each other experiences. Our lives are so intertwined. 347 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,771 Our bank accounts are together. Big each other fancy gifts is 348 00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:56,240 the same as paying for your gift. 349 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,442 >> jimmy: Right. >> irrelevant. 350 00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:00,445 We like to give each other experiences or something we can 351 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,679 both enjoy. In the times that we are living 352 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:05,383 in today, I don't know if you did this with your family. 353 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,819 We did a lot of drive-thru experiences. 354 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:08,986 >> jimmy: We did one over christmas, yes. 355 00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:12,590 We drove through, we looked at christmas things, yeah. 356 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,258 [ laughter ] >> okay, we've done all of that. 357 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,427 >> jimmy: Oh, you have, yeah. >> oh, jimmy. 358 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,997 >> jimmy: I wonder if people know what you're talking about. 359 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:22,467 Explain. I wonder if they're doing this 360 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,635 every place. >> I know they are because I've 361 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:29,907 sent them to my sister-in-law, I was like, listen, jurassic quest 362 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:33,311 is coming to your town, and across the country. 363 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:37,648 Essentially you sit in your car and you pay per car going 364 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:40,918 through this drive-thru literal experience. 365 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:47,024 And so I thought this weekend it would be really fun -- there's 366 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,393 no traffic in quarantine to get places. 367 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:52,230 We went to arcadia, which is fairly far away for us. 368 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:57,168 We had dim sum, which we normally wouldn't get there 369 00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,536 because of the wait, but there was no wait. 370 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:03,407 We had a car picnic, it was really cute, we got boba. 371 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,776 Then I was like, guys, we're going to a race. 372 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:09,413 My husband is, what? I'm like, don't worry about it, 373 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,616 I got this. We showed up. 374 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,218 I'm not kidding you. I took my 4-year-old and 375 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:18,523 6-year-old and my grown-ass husband to a baby rave. 376 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,025 [ laughter ] it was lights everywhere, music. 377 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,294 It was physically put on by a rave company. 378 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,563 You felt like you were tripping on acid. 379 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,098 [ laughter ] they give you these glasses that 380 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:31,202 like, what's the word when they crystallize everything? 381 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,103 Make everything -- the lights all crazy? 382 00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,405 >> jimmy: Hallucinating? [ laughter ] 383 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,409 >> I mean, yes, essentially. The kids are like, this is the 384 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,546 best experience ever! I was like, oh no! 385 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,382 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Wow. 386 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,118 What a weird -- that's a rave for children? 387 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,820 For little kids? >> it's a baby rave. 388 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,557 It's a full kids rave. >> jimmy: Do they give them 389 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:56,661 benadryl or something beforehand or how does it work? 390 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,797 >> light sticks. I mean, it could not -- child 391 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,900 protective services is allowed to come after me, it's okay, I 392 00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,035 understand. >> jimmy: Can I be honest with 393 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,471 you, that I have kids just about the same age as yours. 394 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,940 This sounds like the worst birthday ever. 395 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,942 [ laughter ] if I'm ashton, it sounds like 396 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:15,079 the worst possible thing. You're going to be in the car 397 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,014 for an hour and a half with the kids. 398 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,382 >> longer, jimmy, longer. >> jimmy: Oh, no. 399 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:23,754 [ laughter ] >> there was traffic getting 400 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:27,425 into the drive-thru experience. This was so packed. 401 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:32,263 To even get through -- oh, it was maybe one of the worst -- 402 00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,531 one of the greatest things I've ever done. 403 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,832 [ laughter ] >> jimmy: Ashton's worst 404 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:38,703 birthday ever, yeah. >> I wish -- he's in the other 405 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,539 room with the kids. I now wish he was here to give 406 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,974 you his version. >> jimmy: Oh, don't worry, I'm 407 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,810 going to get his version of this, one way or the other. 408 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,712 [ laughter ] I will not forget it. 409 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,015 >> so bad. >> jimmy: This is funny, this is 410 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,150 so totally different from what you just explained. 411 00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:59,857 You guys -- have you both been doing this, or is this your 412 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,193 thing, gardening? Growing crops? 413 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,262 >> oh. Okay, it is not my thing. 414 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:09,166 I am a city girl, okay? I cannot grow a cacti, this is 415 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,502 not my thing. But we bought a house. 416 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:16,274 I became a mom. I was like, I am one with 417 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:17,375 nature. I am woman. 418 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:22,146 Everything about me, I am going to be a pincus mom. 419 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:25,049 No, I'm an amazon mom. Then we bought a house, I'm 420 00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:26,450 going to grow all fresh fruits and vegetables. 421 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:32,456 I was like, the gardeners are going to grow fresh fruits and 422 00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,791 vegetables. Let's just be real here. 423 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:38,729 But then covid hit. And I was like, no one in the 424 00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:41,032 house, massive lockdown, and I was like, okay. 425 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,233 What do we do? We've got kids. 426 00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:46,704 It was one of those weird -- and my husband's from iowa. 427 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:51,175 And we had this patch of dirt. And we looked at it and we were 428 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,511 like, we have time to plant some corn. 429 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:54,845 And he was like, let's just do it. 430 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:59,317 And so we planted a pretty good sized lot of corn. 431 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:05,022 Everybody was like, you guys, it's l.A., blah, blah, the soil, 432 00:22:05,058 --> 00:22:06,424 the weather. We're like, whatever. 433 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:10,061 It's quarantine, what do we do, we have nothing else to do. 434 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:15,599 Every single stalk -- we had hundreds and hundreds of ears of 435 00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,468 corn. We didn't know what to do. 436 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,704 We were giving them away. Look at this. 437 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:23,207 [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: This is your harvest. 438 00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:24,108 >> it's like 1/100 of what we had. 439 00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:28,212 >> jimmy: Really? >> we had so much corn. 440 00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:33,617 Here's the thing. We're inbarbecue, we can't havee 441 00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,420 over for a pool party, we were stuck eating corn. 442 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:39,824 Corn for breakfast, corn for lunch, corn all -- my kids are 443 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:43,894 now made of corn, jimmy. >> jimmy: Corn-fed children, 444 00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,130 just like your husband. Will you do it again? 445 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:48,699 Or -- >> yeah, yeah. 446 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,668 >> jimmy: Or are you totally sick of corn? 447 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:54,071 >> no, all jokes aside, I love corn. 448 00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:56,907 This was a lot of corn, I'm not going to lie, but it was great. 449 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:59,143 Because the kids, I was like, growing some corn? 450 00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:03,414 After the corn was done and we harvest, it was just us. 451 00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:05,082 Grab a rake. We've got to grab the roots out 452 00:23:05,118 --> 00:23:10,454 of the ground. My kids are like, what? 453 00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:13,257 And I was like, oh, yeah, we're going to take all these roots 454 00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,259 out. We spent like -- for us two, 455 00:23:15,294 --> 00:23:16,927 three days by hand-ripping it out. 456 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:21,132 I've never had more respect for gardeners, farmers, landscapers, 457 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:25,569 anybody that deals with dirt and gross -- I mean, talk about 458 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:28,139 genuinely learning how hard this is. 459 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:32,710 >> jimmy: It's really -- maybe you could sell corn next time 460 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,744 around. I feel this could be a business 461 00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:36,480 for you. >> I'll come find you, I'll drop 462 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:41,952 off -- we started driving around and doing covid-friendly, 463 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:45,556 masked-up dropoffs. We have extra corn, here's 40 464 00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:47,391 stalks! >> jimmy: We've got a load of 465 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:48,959 kunis corn, everybody! [ applause ] 466 00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:51,962 we'll take a break. When we come back, we'll see a 467 00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:55,466 clip from your new movie. Kunis >> dicky: Portions of "jimmy 468 00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,802 kimmel live" are brought to you by ftd, the modern florist 469 00:23:57,837 --> 00:23:59,770 collective. >>> you're going to do great. 470 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,913 >> thank you. >> yeah. 471 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:20,357 You -- you sad? >> yes. 472 00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:25,529 >> yeah, you are, aren't you? You feel like crying? 473 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:27,932 >> yes. >> okay, okay. 474 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:34,071 Okay. Okay, roll, let's roll, let's 475 00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:38,075 roll. >> jimmy: That is mila kunis and 476 00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,443 allison janney in "breaking news in yuba county." 477 00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:43,647 you play a local news reporter. Did you pick a local news 478 00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:45,950 reporter? We have some good local news 479 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,919 going on out here in l.A. Did you pick someone to model 480 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:52,957 your character after? >> a little bit. 481 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:59,697 Tate taylor, who's the director, and I, we rabbit holed down 482 00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:00,898 youtube. We found some really, really 483 00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:03,300 good videos. So here was the trick. 484 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:08,038 We needed to find local news reporters -- I'm so sorry, can 485 00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:10,508 you hear my kids? >> jimmy: I did hear kids, yeah. 486 00:25:10,543 --> 00:25:11,842 >> so sorry. >> jimmy: That's all right. 487 00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:13,511 >> keep them quiet! >> jimmy: They're all hopped up 488 00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:16,547 on corn. [ laughter ] 489 00:25:16,582 --> 00:25:19,850 >> oh my god, they're hopped up on something. 490 00:25:19,886 --> 00:25:21,085 Okay. So -- my headphones. 491 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,821 This is just a mess. This is a mess. 492 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:28,092 >> jimmy: It's okay, it's fine. >> so tate and I decided it 493 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:37,568 needed to be a nondescript circa mid '90s journalist. 494 00:25:37,603 --> 00:25:41,272 Local journalism today is so different than local journalism 495 00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:44,708 in the '90s. We found old '90s videos of like 496 00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:48,712 journalists trying to find stories in neighborhoods about 497 00:25:48,748 --> 00:25:51,549 missing cats and knocking on people's doors. 498 00:25:51,584 --> 00:25:55,920 But no one opened the door so their closing statement was 499 00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,154 like, "and then nothing happened." 500 00:25:57,189 --> 00:26:01,358 oh my god, I just watched 40 minutes of nothing happening and 501 00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:02,459 then you told me nothing happened. 502 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:05,162 So that's what the character is a little based on. 503 00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:10,301 >> jimmy: Your costar, wanda sykes, was with us last night. 504 00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,369 She said you guys had a tremendous amount of fun 505 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:14,038 shooting this. Do you agree with that 506 00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:14,939 statement? >> yeah. 507 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:18,075 Did she tell you we were am a commune? 508 00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:21,679 >> jimmy: She said it was camp, like going to summer camp, we 509 00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:24,949 had houses but they were all kind of connected. 510 00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,217 We would meet up in tate's house for dinner. 511 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:31,322 >> jimmy: She said the bugs were so big, I think they took her 512 00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:34,992 luggage up to her room for her. [ laughter ] 513 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:40,864 >> listen, she's not kidding. It's like -- I mean, I'm not 514 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,800 from natchez, mississippi, okay? I get it. 515 00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:48,906 The south has some robust bugs. This was unlike anything that 516 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,541 I've experienced. >> jimmy: Really? 517 00:26:50,576 --> 00:26:53,877 >> they were just everywhere. All the time. 518 00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:57,881 They were so -- and they kept calling them different names. 519 00:26:57,917 --> 00:26:59,984 They were cockroaches, jimmy, okay? 520 00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,152 [ laughter ] let's call a spade a spade. 521 00:27:02,188 --> 00:27:05,422 It was cockroaches. Little tiny cockroaches. 522 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,625 Everywhere. And my kids got so used to it 523 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:10,961 that they would wake up and be like, oh, look at the little 524 00:27:10,997 --> 00:27:16,367 dead bug, tickle tickle -- and I was like, don't touch the 525 00:27:16,402 --> 00:27:17,601 cockroach! Everywhere. 526 00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:19,169 >> jimmy: Does any part of you like it when your kids are 527 00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:23,607 touching cockroaches? It shows a fearlessness, right? 528 00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:27,411 I like it when my kit kids -- my son picked up a snake over the 529 00:27:27,446 --> 00:27:30,547 summer and I was like, well, I'd never do that, but good for you. 530 00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:31,649 [ laughter ] >> yeah. 531 00:27:31,684 --> 00:27:38,155 We have similar children. And so I'm super proud that 532 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,890 they're not like me. So yes. 533 00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:43,861 We had a snake in our house in quarantine. 534 00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:46,263 A snake came in. Like a little guy, not a super 535 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:51,201 bad snake, a whatever snake. >> jimmy: Yeah, garter snake. 536 00:27:51,237 --> 00:27:53,237 >> and I was like -- might as well murder was happening in 537 00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:54,738 front of me. I ran away. 538 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:57,341 Left my children and my husband and ran in the opposite 539 00:27:57,376 --> 00:28:00,411 direction of the kitchen. And my children and husband all 540 00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:03,414 ran towards the snake. And I was like, you're sick, all 541 00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:07,785 of you are sick people! What is wrong with you? 542 00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:09,620 They're like, mom, this is so awesome! 543 00:28:09,655 --> 00:28:11,388 I was like -- I must have been crazed. 544 00:28:11,424 --> 00:28:14,491 I don't know what happened. I was throwing things at the 545 00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:15,559 snake. >> jimmy: Really? 546 00:28:15,594 --> 00:28:17,661 And who got the snake out of there, ashton? 547 00:28:17,697 --> 00:28:20,230 >> ashton, oh, yeah. Bare hands. 548 00:28:20,266 --> 00:28:22,733 Look at this guy! The kids and him. 549 00:28:22,768 --> 00:28:23,967 And it was cool once he caught it. 550 00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:26,637 Before he caught it, the snake was just slithering in the 551 00:28:26,672 --> 00:28:27,738 kitchen. It wasn't cool. 552 00:28:27,773 --> 00:28:31,275 >> jimmy: Yeah, right. >> but then once it was like 553 00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:34,211 apprehended I was like, oh, yeah, no, that's pretty cool. 554 00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:36,013 >> jimmy: Oh, wow. >> then we got it outside. 555 00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:39,817 >> jimmy: Between the snake and the raves that you guys have 556 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,152 going on? It's like some weird kind of 557 00:28:42,188 --> 00:28:44,221 hollywood cult that you're part of. 558 00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,490 >> is your quarantine not going like this? 559 00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:47,658 I don't understand. >> jimmy: Your quarantine has 560 00:28:47,693 --> 00:28:50,594 been relatively snake-free. It has been -- we've had some 561 00:28:50,629 --> 00:28:54,198 corn, but it came wrapped in plastic. 562 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:57,568 [ laughter ] >> it was from whole foods. 563 00:28:57,603 --> 00:28:59,903 >> jimmy: I can't say we've been to a rave, no. 564 00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:03,073 >> you've got to go to this baby rave, it was awesome. 565 00:29:03,109 --> 00:29:06,744 >> jimmy: Yeah, I'm going to take your word for that, mila. 566 00:29:06,779 --> 00:29:08,312 [ laughter ] well, thanks for being with us. 567 00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:13,917 "breaking news in yuba county" opens in select theaters and 568 00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:18,021 digitally on Friday. Please wish ashton a happier 569 00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:20,190 bird dan than he had next time. Mila kunis! 570 00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:22,126 Be back with kj apa. >> jimmy: Welcome back. 571 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,672 Music from sam dew is still to come. 572 00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:37,107 In four years of tv high school, our next guest has dated his 573 00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:40,644 teacher, been jailed for murder, fought a bear and a man in a 574 00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:43,814 bear skin. Now he's time-traveling. 575 00:29:43,849 --> 00:29:46,250 Tonight on the cw, "riverdale" jumped seven years into the 576 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,851 future. Please welcome archie himself, 577 00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:50,788 kj apa. [ cheers and applause ] 578 00:29:50,823 --> 00:29:54,792 hi, kj, how are you? >> hey, guys. 579 00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:56,627 How are you doing? >> jimmy: We're doing all right. 580 00:29:56,662 --> 00:29:58,996 You're in vancouver, right? >> I am. 581 00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:00,831 I'm in the gray vancouver right now. 582 00:30:00,866 --> 00:30:03,634 >> jimmy: I hear that life is closer to normal than it is 583 00:30:03,669 --> 00:30:04,902 here. >> a little bit. 584 00:30:04,937 --> 00:30:09,907 I mean, people are still garbed in masks, things are shutting 585 00:30:09,942 --> 00:30:10,974 early, it's still pretty intense. 586 00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:13,644 >> jimmy: Are people eating out and going to bars? 587 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:17,414 >> yeah, but everybody shuts at 10:00. 588 00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:19,383 >> jimmy: Is that what the virus wakes up? 589 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:20,684 [ laughter ] >> that's what the virus has 590 00:30:20,719 --> 00:30:22,019 gone home. >> jimmy: You're from new 591 00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:23,554 zealand, right? >> yes, sir. 592 00:30:23,589 --> 00:30:25,923 >> jimmy: They've really got covid figured out. 593 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:31,562 I mean -- they crushed it. >> they've been good for like a 594 00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:32,963 year now. Jacinda ardern is our president, 595 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:37,434 who we're very fond of, she's done such a good job. 596 00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:38,702 Also, a small country with 5 million people. 597 00:30:38,737 --> 00:30:43,240 I feel when the country needs to get something done, everybody 598 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,142 puts their heads down and gets it done. 599 00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:47,511 >> jimmy: Are your relatives taunting you, sending 600 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:51,682 photographs of them hugging? >> all the boys are sending me 601 00:30:51,717 --> 00:30:53,483 full-on festivals and stuff, it's great. 602 00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:55,219 >> jimmy: Everybody just sighed a very sad sigh here in this 603 00:30:55,254 --> 00:30:57,888 room. [ laughter ] 604 00:30:57,923 --> 00:31:01,758 I didn't know you guys liked music festivals that much. 605 00:31:01,794 --> 00:31:05,796 >> I still can't believe, you were intro'ing me and I couldn't 606 00:31:05,831 --> 00:31:08,599 stop laughing to myself, it's so crazy to even be talking to you. 607 00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:10,801 I'm such a -- I used to watch your show a lot. 608 00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,703 And it's -- >> jimmy: Oh, thank you, why did 609 00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:13,704 you stop? What happened? 610 00:31:13,739 --> 00:31:22,045 [ laughter ] what is kj short for? 611 00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:30,821 >> kj is short for kineti james, named after my father. 612 00:31:30,856 --> 00:31:40,330 >> jimmy: Kinety. We say samoan, tell me how to 613 00:31:40,366 --> 00:31:41,365 say it right. >> you're right. 614 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,801 >> jimmy: I think we have a picture of your dad. 615 00:31:44,837 --> 00:31:48,972 Your dad is, correct me if I have any of this wrong, and I 616 00:31:49,008 --> 00:31:51,842 apologize if I do. Your dad was a chief or is the 617 00:31:51,877 --> 00:31:53,377 chief? Which is it? 618 00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:58,882 >> he is a mataya. He holds the matay title, the 619 00:31:58,918 --> 00:32:03,320 chief village that he's from and I'm from in san juan. 620 00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:04,588 >> jimmy: His dad was chief, yes? 621 00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:09,760 >> and after his father passed, the chief title was -- the matay 622 00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:13,297 was handed down to my father. >> jimmy: Will that title be 623 00:32:13,332 --> 00:32:17,834 handed down to you? Will you be chief? 624 00:32:17,870 --> 00:32:23,607 >> I don't know. It's -- I can't speak samoan, so 625 00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:26,209 it would be something for me to take that be kind of -- I would 626 00:32:26,245 --> 00:32:27,311 think it's a huge responsibility. 627 00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:28,478 I don't feel adequate, to be honest. 628 00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:30,547 But I doubt myself in almost everything that I do, so. 629 00:32:30,582 --> 00:32:33,917 >> jimmy: We had a president here in the united states who 630 00:32:33,953 --> 00:32:34,618 wasn't adequate, even close to adequate. 631 00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:42,659 [ laughter ] and he did great! 632 00:32:42,695 --> 00:32:45,963 When I think of samoa, I think of football players. 633 00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:47,898 You know, like a lot of -- >> big boys. 634 00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:50,334 Big boys, yeah. Big boys. 635 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:54,838 >> jimmy: Very, very big -- I think the odds of big a football 636 00:32:54,873 --> 00:32:56,306 player are like multiplied by 50 or something. 637 00:32:56,342 --> 00:33:00,377 >> I know, it was always my dream to be -- I wish I was -- I 638 00:33:00,412 --> 00:33:02,612 was always waiting for the moment when I was going to be 639 00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,281 huge, growing up. >> jimmy: Yeah? 640 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:05,916 [ laughter ] >> all my friends and family 641 00:33:05,951 --> 00:33:10,220 were just getting so big, and I was the scrawny white boy in the 642 00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:12,723 family, the runt of the family that wasn't growing. 643 00:33:12,758 --> 00:33:15,158 I had to play rug by against these guys who are three times 644 00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:19,629 my size, I'm talking like full-grown men, pretty much. 645 00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:22,399 >> jimmy: And rugby is the most rugged, rough sport of all the 646 00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,968 team sports? >> it is in sport. 647 00:33:25,004 --> 00:33:27,070 It's the best sport in the world, the most physical sport 648 00:33:27,106 --> 00:33:30,340 in the world, it's better than football, the best sport in the 649 00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:31,541 world. >> jimmy: You love it. 650 00:33:31,577 --> 00:33:35,345 You played it for how long? >> my whole life until I turned 651 00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:37,981 17, I had to stop because I started acting and the two don't 652 00:33:38,017 --> 00:33:41,385 really go hand in hand. >> jimmy: Why don't they go hand 653 00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:44,254 in hand? >> I got concussed about three 654 00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:45,922 times. >> jimmy: I see. 655 00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,190 >> yeah. Caught up with me. 656 00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:48,358 >> jimmy: That doesn't help when you're trying to remember your 657 00:33:48,394 --> 00:33:51,795 lines? [ laughter ] 658 00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:55,132 >> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: Three times, wow. 659 00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:57,667 That is a lot of times for a young man. 660 00:33:57,703 --> 00:33:59,936 Were you knocked out cold? >> yeah, I was knocked -- the 661 00:33:59,972 --> 00:34:07,110 one that I remember kind of, I remember getting a shoulder to 662 00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:11,248 the head, walking up to my coach, a south african guy," you 663 00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:16,353 can keep playing, right?" I was looking at my mate, where 664 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:18,588 are we right now? I was crying. 665 00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:21,291 I was in the ambulance laughing hysterically but crying at the 666 00:34:21,326 --> 00:34:23,994 same time, very strange. >> jimmy: How did do you go from 667 00:34:24,029 --> 00:34:27,831 playing rugby thousands of miles away to this show, to 668 00:34:27,866 --> 00:34:30,934 "riverdale," to acting in general? 669 00:34:30,969 --> 00:34:33,403 >> oh, man. It's been a crazy ride. 670 00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:36,640 I still don't really know. >> jimmy: Were you kidnapped? 671 00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:43,480 >> I was laughing when you were intro'ing me, like this is 672 00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:44,347 crazy. >> jimmy: Is this something you 673 00:34:44,383 --> 00:34:45,715 always wanted to do? >> no! 674 00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:49,553 >> jimmy: It just happened? >> it just happened and I'm so 675 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:50,887 grateful for it. >> jimmy: Wow. 676 00:34:50,923 --> 00:34:55,158 You guys went seven years into the future tonight on 677 00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:57,994 "riverdale," which I imagine is good because you are not in high 678 00:34:58,030 --> 00:35:01,164 school, right? Your castmates are not of high 679 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,200 school age. >> yeah, I mean, I'm the 680 00:35:03,235 --> 00:35:04,601 youngest on the show. I'm probably -- I think I could 681 00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:07,804 get away with playing, you know, that character in high school 682 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,575 for a little longer. But people like charles who have 683 00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:12,676 just turned 30, and cole who's 27? 684 00:35:12,711 --> 00:35:17,380 [ laughter ] they're playing close to their 685 00:35:17,416 --> 00:35:18,482 ages. >> jimmy: 30 in high school, 686 00:35:18,517 --> 00:35:20,951 something has gone terribly wrong. 687 00:35:20,986 --> 00:35:22,552 [ laughter ] you've had probably more than 688 00:35:22,588 --> 00:35:23,520 three concussions if you're 30 in high school. 689 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:29,326 >> yeah. >> jimmy: So that's good. 690 00:35:29,361 --> 00:35:32,028 So was that done for -- maybe you don't even know. 691 00:35:32,064 --> 00:35:34,464 Did the writers decide to do that because they're like, hey, 692 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:40,670 we got to keep this show going? Or was it really part of the 693 00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:42,339 plan? >> oh, man, who knows with those 694 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:43,039 writers. I've been attacked by a bear how 695 00:35:43,075 --> 00:35:44,875 many times now? [ laughter ] 696 00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:48,411 >> jimmy: Yeah, a bear and a guy dressed as a bear, right? 697 00:35:48,447 --> 00:35:50,847 Did you watch the super bowl or do you -- are you interested in 698 00:35:50,883 --> 00:35:55,318 american-style football? >> no, I still don't really 699 00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:57,587 understand football. But -- 700 00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:58,788 >> jimmy: What do you want to know? 701 00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:00,991 >> I don't really understand football, I don't really know 702 00:36:01,026 --> 00:36:05,829 what the super bowl or a super bowl -- the super bowl? 703 00:36:05,864 --> 00:36:07,631 Before two, three months ago. >> jimmy: Hold on a minute. 704 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:11,701 [ laughter ] you didn't know what the -- 705 00:36:11,737 --> 00:36:13,537 >> I got a text from mark consuelos. 706 00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:14,804 >> jimmy: Right, who's on your show. 707 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,440 >> right above me, he lives on the top floor of this building. 708 00:36:17,476 --> 00:36:21,511 Every season I feel he's on a different top floor of every 709 00:36:21,547 --> 00:36:23,480 building. I feel like -- he texted me and 710 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:25,182 he was like, super bowl, my house, 3:00. 711 00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:28,084 And I was on this diet to prepare for a shirtless scene on 712 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,353 the show. Man, I can't eat right now. 713 00:36:30,389 --> 00:36:36,092 To some reason, I thought he was talking about a superfood bowl. 714 00:36:36,128 --> 00:36:37,360 [ laughter ] heek like, bro. 715 00:36:37,396 --> 00:36:39,129 What are you talking about? It's the super bowl. 716 00:36:39,164 --> 00:36:41,932 >> jimmy: Wow. You really aren't american, 717 00:36:41,967 --> 00:36:42,766 that's for sure. But we welcome you. 718 00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:45,835 >> yes. >> jimmy: Well, it's great to 719 00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:48,572 have you on. The show's called "riverdale," 720 00:36:48,607 --> 00:36:50,774 it airs Wednesday nights on the cw. 721 00:36:50,809 --> 00:36:56,780 Kj apa. Thanks, kj! 722 00:36:56,815 --> 00:36:57,881 [ cheers and applause ] be back with sam dew. 723 00:36:57,916 --> 00:36:59,015 >> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is 724 00:36:59,051 --> 00:37:00,183 presented by mercedes-benz. The best or nothing. 725 00:37:06,291 --> 00:37:08,425 >> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is 726 00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:14,264 presented by mercedes-benz. The best or nothing. 727 00:37:14,299 --> 00:37:18,301 >> jimmy: This is his album, it's called "moonlit fools." 728 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:21,137 it comes out February 26th. With the song "dj" from 729 00:37:21,173 --> 00:37:22,305 beautiful malibu, california, sam dew! 730 00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:27,978 [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 731 00:37:28,013 --> 00:37:45,862 ♪ ♪ I just want my 732 00:37:45,897 --> 00:37:47,597 want my babe tear drops in the ♪ 733 00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:50,800 ♪ summertime god I feel so crazy 734 00:37:50,836 --> 00:37:54,037 I don't wanna be ♪ ♪ the one 735 00:37:54,072 --> 00:37:56,239 but you should come and save me ♪ 736 00:37:56,275 --> 00:37:57,440 ♪ cause' I been having chills 737 00:37:57,476 --> 00:38:05,015 and these bends got lately ♪ ♪ I done broke too many down 738 00:38:05,050 --> 00:38:06,349 too many lies I done broke ♪ 739 00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:11,388 ♪ too many hearts crashed many hard 740 00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:16,426 I deserve it all ♪ ♪ I been wrong oh 741 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:21,398 but if we ever start again I would start like friends ♪ 742 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:34,144 ♪ so I'm yelling dj oh dj play that slow jam for me 743 00:38:34,179 --> 00:38:38,081 dj I want my baby ♪ ♪ hope she save 744 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:50,293 her lonely for me dj oh dj ♪ 745 00:38:50,329 --> 00:38:57,400 ♪ play that slow jam for me dj I need my baby 746 00:38:57,436 --> 00:39:02,372 why won't you cover me ♪ ♪ I'm pulling out the rose 747 00:39:02,407 --> 00:39:07,544 dunno'bout my goals I threw out all the plans ♪ 748 00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:10,180 ♪ got no feeling through my toes 749 00:39:10,215 --> 00:39:11,848 I desert you ♪ ♪ in that off night 750 00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:17,954 sell it like is all right I be in a bad bad place ♪ 751 00:39:17,989 --> 00:39:24,160 ♪ and some new nikes but don't run away 752 00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:26,129 don't run away I been your slave ♪ 753 00:39:26,164 --> 00:39:30,333 ♪ since second grade I'm not the same 754 00:39:30,369 --> 00:39:35,672 won't be the same ♪ ♪ I swear I'll change 755 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:46,816 ♪ I swear I'll change ♪ I'm yelling dj oh dj 756 00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:52,555 play that slow jam for me dj I want my baby ♪ 757 00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:58,595 ♪ hope she save her lonely for me 758 00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:07,370 dj oh dj ♪ ♪ play that slow jam for me 759 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:28,057 dj I need my baby she's saving her lonely for me ♪ 760 00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:30,059 ♪ ♪ 761 00:40:42,407 --> 00:40:44,441 >> jimmy: I want to thank mila kunis, kj apa and sam dew. 762 00:40:44,476 --> 00:40:46,643 Apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. 763 00:40:46,678 --> 00:41:00,756 Enjoy it while you floss! Thanks for watching, goodnight.