>> dicky: From hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"
tonight -- mila kunis, kj apa, and music
from sam dew. And now jimmy kimmel!
>> jimmy: Hi there, everyone. I'm jimmy, I'm the host.
Thanks for watching. Thank you for joining us.
We have a lot to get to on another bananas day in american
politics. Day two of trump impeachment
trial number two. I have to say it was as boring
and pointless as most of yesterday was.
What the house managers presented today was gripping.
Never-before-seen videos of the rioters terrorizing
congresspeople. Mitt romney had to run.
They had video of that. The mob was knocking out
windows, banging on doors, looking for nancy pelosi.
Chanting "hang mike pence!" they erected a noose for
mike pence. They showed video of pence and
his wife and daughter, who had to hide, being evacuated from
the building to get away from the army of dangerous imbeciles
the president sent his way. And trump sat in his office and
said nothing for hours. In fact, he tweeted again
blaming his own vice president, saying he didn't have the
courage to do what needed to be done.
It was a very powerful presentation.
Much more so than anything I'd seen before.
I have no idea how you could watch that and vote for anything
other than "guilty as charged." trump should have been removed
from office that day. [ cheers and applause ]
here's how you know how damning it was.
The trial was aired live on abc, nbc, cnn, cbs.
The only channel that cut away? Fox news.
Gee, I wonder why? [ laughter ]
today was a successful day for donald trump's lawyers in that
they did not speak. [ laughter ]
trump's legal team did not get great reviews for their
performance yesterday. >> the former president's
attorneys did such an awful job. >> bruce castor offering a
rambling defense, heavy on the rambling, light on the defense.
>> rambled, disorganized, embarrassed, terrible.
>> they sounded like lawyers who didn't know what they were
talking about. >> sort of woke up this morning
and thought, oh, shoot, I have to put on a trial today.
>> a little meandering, a little free associative.
>> well. >> let's just say -- go ahead.
>> it was terrible, the performance was atrocious by any
standard. >> that was a good day, I'd hate
to see a bad one. >> this was lunacy.
>> embarrassing performance. >> these guys were terrible they
provided a terrible performance, but they had a terrible client.
>> jimmy: Oh, wait, come on now. Now you're going to blame the
guy who did it? [ laughter ]
I've said it before and I'll say it again, put rudy in the game!
[ laughter ] let's get some involuntary
flatulence going. Let's get some hair dye
dripping! Pull that man down from the
ceiling of his cave and get him on the senate floor!
[ laughter ] trump's lawyers will be back
tomorrow to try to counter what the house presented today.
Good luck to them. Their argument is basically
telling republican senators, "nice jobs you got there.
Be a shame if something were to happen to them."
trump was not happy with how it went yesterday.
They say the last time he was this mad was when he found out
there was a donald trump jr. [ laughter ]
the fraudigal son was hamming it up on "hannity" last night.
You're not going to believe this but djtj believes we should
leave daddy alone. >> 44 republicans have already
voted to say that the sham impeachment part "d" eux is
unconstitutional. Aren't we in the middle of a
pandemic, sean? I thought these senators would
maybe have something better to do.
Maybe they would actually fight for the american people for a
change. Maybe they would actually get to
the business of helping us through this pandemic.
>> jimmy: There is so much wrong with that clip, I don't know
where to start. [ laughter ]
aren't we in the middle of a pandemic?
Not according to your dad. He said it was going away almost
a year ago. [ laughter ]
why didn't you drink bleach when your father told you to?
[ laughter ] [ applause ]
part "d" eux-bag. [ laughter ]
you know, impeachment wasn't the only order of business in the
senate today. They had a hearing for biden's
pick to run the office of management and budget.
A woman named neera tanden. During the hearing, republicans
dug up some of her old mean tweets which is rich for a bunch
of people who defend trump. But not all of her tweets
targeted republicans, some of them took shots at
bernie sanders. >> you call senator sanders
everything but an ignorant slut. >> that is not true.
>> when you said these things, did you mean them?
>> I wouldn't say ignorant. >> I must have meant them, but I
really regret them. >> I want the record to reflect
that I did not call senator sanders an ignorant slut.
Okay? >> I don't know how I should
take that senator kennedy. [ laughter ]
[ applause ] >> jimmy: You know, I have to
say -- poor bernie, he puts on one pair of sexy mittens and
this is what he gets. [ laughter ]
all right, enough politics. Who wants to see justin bieber's
new car? [ cheers and applause ]
really? Justin bieber has purchased a
custom-made rolls royce. There it is, the batmobeeb.
[ laughter ] looks like a car-shaped baking
pan. If you lift it, it's a birthday
cake for a boy. He's going to look so cool
sitting in that. In tampa today they had a
victory boat parade for the super bowl champions.
The goat was in a boat. You can see tom brady throwing
the lombardi trophy to rob gronkowski in the other boat.
This is what happens when you have too many trophies, you
start throwing them around. Brady definitely had fun.
After the festivities, he had to be helped out.
[ applause ] my god, look at what florida did
to tom brady! [ laughter ]
he's totally gronked. Valentine's day is only four
days away. So start preparing your mawkish,
half-sincere facebook posts about how much you love your
spouse. [ laughter ]
are you going to post about your wife on facebook?
>> guillermo: No, jimmy, never. >> jimmy: Or instagram?
No, never? >> guillermo: No.
>> jimmy: Why not? Don't you think she would like
that? >> guillermo: No, she wouldn't.
>> jimmy: She would hate it? >> guillermo: Yeah.
>> jimmy: Or the. They're saying don't do anything
on valentine's day, the health officials.
They say it could lead to another surge in covid-19.
Why everyone's so eager to celebrate valentine's day, I
have no -- we've never had a better excuse to skip it than
this year. [ laughter ]
but if you are in the market for a valentine's gift, here's a
great idea. >> this year, get her the one
thing she's been waiting for. The covid-19 vaccine.
From pfizer. Don't just be her somebody.
Be her antibody. Because the quickest way to the
heart is a syringe. Inoculate yourselves with love.
The covid-19 vaccine from pfizer.
Not available anywhere. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Yeah. You know, one of the most
romantic things you can be is not dead.
A lot of couples have been forced to spend a lot of time
together during the pandemic. And while you might think that
would lead to more sex, a recent study from the kinsey institute
says that married couples are making love less under lockdown.
Than they were -- I guess prison isn't as sexy as they say it is.
[ laughter ] so with valentine's day coming
up, we decided to do some research of our own out on
hollywood boulevard in a game called "how many times a month
do you have sex?" [ cheers and applause ]
it's a fun game. The reason why it's fun is
because our first couple, they don't know what I'm about to ask
them. Let's turn on the speaker so
they can hear me. Hello there.
>> hey! >> hey.
>> jimmy: What are your names? >> my name is harrison.
>> alicia. >> jimmy: Harrison and alicia,
how long have you been together? >> about a year now.
>> jimmy: Where are you from? >> miami.
>> jimmy: Miami, florida. So you're on vacation right now?
>> vacation and some business, a little mix of both.
>> jimmy: Okay, all right. Here's how this game works.
I'm going to ask a question. You will each write down your
answer. Don't answer out loud, don't
consult one another. We want to know what you each
write down. Think about it on your own and
write down the honest answer, got it?
>> okay. >> jimmy: The question is, and
we're looking for a specific number, how many times a month
do you have sex? All right?
So think about it. Write down the number.
Average month. It's always interesting to
see -- because sometimes the answers are different.
All right, the time is up. All right, we'll start with
alicia. Alicia, let's start with you.
You say ten times a month. Law.
[ applause ] you're getting applause, alicia.
And harrison? Your answer is?
Ten times a month! [ cheers and applause ]
wow. I was -- what, do you have a
spread sheet or something? [ laughter ]
how is that so precise? >> well.
It actually should be more. But I'm going to lead that up to
her on how to answer that. [ laughter ]
if it was up to me, it would be a lot more.
>> jimmy: Yeah, okay. But seems like you're right on.
You really know. Is it a scheduled every three
days thing? >> I'm counting.
I guess sometimes if I reach my limit, I'm cut off.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: I see, all right.
All right, thank you guys. We have a gift for you.
We have, well, since you're so intimate with each other, we've
got -- oh, what is that? Dinner for two at buffalo wild
wings, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
don't go inside. All right.
Ten times a month, guillermo. >> guillermo: Wow.
More than -- I do, yeah. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Were you about. >> to say more than we do?
[ laughter ] that's even more than we do!
All right, let's meet our next -- I guess they're
contestants, I don't know. Let's meet our next couple.
Hi, there, what are your names? >> andrew.
>> sid. >> jimmy: Andrew and sid.
I know a little bit about andrew and sid.
I know that you are the parents of one of the young ladies that
works here on the show, molly. >> that's right.
>> true. >> jimmy: Right.
[ cheers and applause ] so you've been married for a
long time, right? Molly's an adult.
>> 25 years next month. >> jimmy: 25 years next month.
[ cheers and applause ] congratulations.
After 25 years, here's your question.
Write your answer, don't say it out loud, don't consult each
other. Write it down.
How many times a month do you have sex?
[ laughter ] >> your daughter is standing
right here, jimmy. >> jimmy: Yeah, molly's going to
love this. Can we see molly's reaction to
this? All right, molly.
>> I live with them! >> jimmy: What's that, molly?
>> I live with them! >> jimmy: Oh, you live with
them, yeah. [ laughter ]
you came out of one of them, yeah.
>> this is not -- >> jimmy: Yeah, I'm sure this is
upsetting. >> really?
Really? >> jimmy: You know what, this is
called science. [ laughter ]
maybe this will make you want to move out, huh?
How far is your room from theirs, molly?
>> not far enough! [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Okay. All right.
Molly's parents, okay. All right.
We'll start with you, mom. What is the number?
Go ahead.
Reveal. >> oh, man.
I can't believe that this is my question.
Okay. >> jimmy: This is your question.
Eight, wow. [ applause ]
and andrew? It says?
Four. Wow.
So how can there be that much of a gulf?
Maybe -- it looks like maybe, andrew, you slept through some
of those times? [ laughter ]
>> it's not as good for me as it is for sid, I guess.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: Eight times.
>> guess what, guess what? >> jimmy: Molly, is that higher
or lower than -- molly what do you think the number is?
>> I don't know. I -- no comment.
No comment. >> jimmy: I mean, eight and
four? That's a big difference.
Like is one of you in a sex cult and the other one doesn't know
it? [ laughter ]
you know we're counting the times you're together, right?
All right. Well, happy valentine's day.
And happy anniversary to you. >> thank you, jimmy.
>> jimmy: And molly, happy nightmares tonight, I guess.
>> thanks. Pl
[ applause ] >> I'm going to go home and work
on upping my ante. >> jimmy: All right.
We have a gift before you go. And that gift is?
It's a puzzle, a 5,000-piece puzzle.
[ cheers and applause ] there you go.
Still, either way, pretty healthy.
Thank you very much. What's that game called?
"how many times do you have sex."
all right. Apologies to all our fearless
couples tonight. We've got a great show.
Kj apa is with us. We have music from sam dew and
be right back with mila kunis, on stick around!
>> jimmy: Hi, there. Welcome back to the show.
Tonight, from the popular show "riverdale" on the cw, kj apa is
with us. [ cheers and applause ]
then later, he's written hits for rihanna and taylor swift.
Now he has his own album. It's called "moonlit fools."
it comes out February 26th. Music from sam dew.
[ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, kevin james and
kat dennings will join us with music from mammoth wvh.
That is wolfgang van halen. Please join us for that.
[ cheers and applause ] our first guest of the eve is a
very talented person who is easily america's favorite mila.
Her new movie "breaking news in yuba county" opens in select
theaters and digitally on Friday.
Say hello to mila kunis. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: Hello, mila. >> hi, jimmy!
>> jimmy: How are you? >> oh, this is so weird.
I'm not going to lie, this is so strange.
>> jimmy: It is strange, it is strange.
It's strange too because I feel like I just saw you on Sunday,
you and ashton were in a super bowl commercial.
>> eating some cheetos. >> jimmy: Eating some cheetos,
that's right. Which your house looks a little
bit different. Is shaggy still there?
>> what if shaggy just walked over here?
Just like, it wasn't me. >> jimmy: You know, it was
great. Yeah we did a commercial, it was
really great. One thing is shag by won't
leave, it's the strangers thing. >> hanging around in our house
with us, it's fine, guys. >> jimmy: Were you sitting there
waiting for your commercial to come on, watching the game?
>> one of us was. The other one was busy running
after some children. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Wait, let me guess which one was which.
[ laughter ] >> I would say in a
nonquarantined covid environment, he'd have friends
over, it would be a whole thing, we'd have our friends' kids
over, there would be a bouncy house.
>> jimmy: Right. >> but you know, it's a
pandemic, so it's the four of us.
And I was like, I love you, it's your birthday, I'll take the
kids, don't worry about it. So my kids were in and out, you
know what I mean? Pay attention, and then they
wouldn't. They're excited and they like
football, but they're 6 and 4. They're like, football,
squirrel! [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Also, his birthday for real on Sunday?
>> yeah. >> jimmy: Oh, okay.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: Oh, all right.
>> his birthday's always either on super bowl or the day before,
day after. So it falls as his own birthday
present. >> jimmy: Were you bummed you
couldn't watch the game? Are you a football fan?
>> well, fan -- I mean, I love sports, okay?
I do. I love any sporting event live.
But sports on television for me is just not the same experience
as it is for a hard-core fanatic.
>> jimmy: Right. >> so I can pretend like I
understand what's happening. But I don't.
>> jimmy: You don't, yeah. >> I really don't.
Like I'm not the person who can realize what the play is.
>> jimmy: Yeah. >> so watching a game is like,
wait, what happened? Wait, what did he do?
Wait, what happened to the ball? Wait, I don't understand.
That's me the whole time. So I was a little bummed.
I got to watch the halftime show.
>> jimmy: Okay. >> that's all I really wanted to
see. >> jimmy: Do you remember which
teams were playing in the game? >> yeah, watch.
Kansas city chiefs and the buccaneers.
>> jimmy: You got it, all right. [ cheers and applause ]
so you weren't totally pretending.
>> thank god. >> jimmy: Was that ashton's
gift? You keeping the kids away from
him during the game? >> I mean, yeah, I'd like to
think so. But I -- you know, it's --
again, we're in quarantine, this is only -- so I try to -- we try
to give each other experiences. Our lives are so intertwined.
Our bank accounts are together. Big each other fancy gifts is
the same as paying for your gift.
>> jimmy: Right. >> irrelevant.
We like to give each other experiences or something we can
both enjoy. In the times that we are living
in today, I don't know if you did this with your family.
We did a lot of drive-thru experiences.
>> jimmy: We did one over christmas, yes.
We drove through, we looked at christmas things, yeah.
[ laughter ] >> okay, we've done all of that.
>> jimmy: Oh, you have, yeah. >> oh, jimmy.
>> jimmy: I wonder if people know what you're talking about.
Explain. I wonder if they're doing this
every place. >> I know they are because I've
sent them to my sister-in-law, I was like, listen, jurassic quest
is coming to your town, and across the country.
Essentially you sit in your car and you pay per car going
through this drive-thru literal experience.
And so I thought this weekend it would be really fun -- there's
no traffic in quarantine to get places.
We went to arcadia, which is fairly far away for us.
We had dim sum, which we normally wouldn't get there
because of the wait, but there was no wait.
We had a car picnic, it was really cute, we got boba.
Then I was like, guys, we're going to a race.
My husband is, what? I'm like, don't worry about it,
I got this. We showed up.
I'm not kidding you. I took my 4-year-old and
6-year-old and my grown-ass husband to a baby rave.
[ laughter ] it was lights everywhere, music.
It was physically put on by a rave company.
You felt like you were tripping on acid.
[ laughter ] they give you these glasses that
like, what's the word when they crystallize everything?
Make everything -- the lights all crazy?
>> jimmy: Hallucinating? [ laughter ]
>> I mean, yes, essentially. The kids are like, this is the
best experience ever! I was like, oh no!
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: Wow.
What a weird -- that's a rave for children?
For little kids? >> it's a baby rave.
It's a full kids rave. >> jimmy: Do they give them
benadryl or something beforehand or how does it work?
>> light sticks. I mean, it could not -- child
protective services is allowed to come after me, it's okay, I
understand. >> jimmy: Can I be honest with
you, that I have kids just about the same age as yours.
This sounds like the worst birthday ever.
[ laughter ] if I'm ashton, it sounds like
the worst possible thing. You're going to be in the car
for an hour and a half with the kids.
>> longer, jimmy, longer. >> jimmy: Oh, no.
[ laughter ] >> there was traffic getting
into the drive-thru experience. This was so packed.
To even get through -- oh, it was maybe one of the worst --
one of the greatest things I've ever done.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: Ashton's worst
birthday ever, yeah. >> I wish -- he's in the other
room with the kids. I now wish he was here to give
you his version. >> jimmy: Oh, don't worry, I'm
going to get his version of this, one way or the other.
[ laughter ] I will not forget it.
>> so bad. >> jimmy: This is funny, this is
so totally different from what you just explained.
You guys -- have you both been doing this, or is this your
thing, gardening? Growing crops?
>> oh. Okay, it is not my thing.
I am a city girl, okay? I cannot grow a cacti, this is
not my thing. But we bought a house.
I became a mom. I was like, I am one with
nature. I am woman.
Everything about me, I am going to be a pincus mom.
No, I'm an amazon mom. Then we bought a house, I'm
going to grow all fresh fruits and vegetables.
I was like, the gardeners are going to grow fresh fruits and
vegetables. Let's just be real here.
But then covid hit. And I was like, no one in the
house, massive lockdown, and I was like, okay.
What do we do? We've got kids.
It was one of those weird -- and my husband's from iowa.
And we had this patch of dirt. And we looked at it and we were
like, we have time to plant some corn.
And he was like, let's just do it.
And so we planted a pretty good sized lot of corn.
Everybody was like, you guys, it's l.A., blah, blah, the soil,
the weather. We're like, whatever.
It's quarantine, what do we do, we have nothing else to do.
Every single stalk -- we had hundreds and hundreds of ears of
corn. We didn't know what to do.
We were giving them away. Look at this.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: This is your harvest.
>> it's like 1/100 of what we had.
>> jimmy: Really? >> we had so much corn.
Here's the thing. We're inbarbecue, we can't havee
over for a pool party, we were stuck eating corn.
Corn for breakfast, corn for lunch, corn all -- my kids are
now made of corn, jimmy. >> jimmy: Corn-fed children,
just like your husband. Will you do it again?
Or -- >> yeah, yeah.
>> jimmy: Or are you totally sick of corn?
>> no, all jokes aside, I love corn.
This was a lot of corn, I'm not going to lie, but it was great.
Because the kids, I was like, growing some corn?
After the corn was done and we harvest, it was just us.
Grab a rake. We've got to grab the roots out
of the ground. My kids are like, what?
And I was like, oh, yeah, we're going to take all these roots
out. We spent like -- for us two,
three days by hand-ripping it out.
I've never had more respect for gardeners, farmers, landscapers,
anybody that deals with dirt and gross -- I mean, talk about
genuinely learning how hard this is.
>> jimmy: It's really -- maybe you could sell corn next time
around. I feel this could be a business
for you. >> I'll come find you, I'll drop
off -- we started driving around and doing covid-friendly,
masked-up dropoffs. We have extra corn, here's 40
stalks! >> jimmy: We've got a load of
kunis corn, everybody! [ applause ]
we'll take a break. When we come back, we'll see a
clip from your new movie. Kunis >> dicky: Portions of "jimmy
kimmel live" are brought to you by ftd, the modern florist
collective. >>> you're going to do great.
>> thank you. >> yeah.
You -- you sad? >> yes.
>> yeah, you are, aren't you? You feel like crying?
>> yes. >> okay, okay.
Okay. Okay, roll, let's roll, let's
roll. >> jimmy: That is mila kunis and
allison janney in "breaking news in yuba county."
you play a local news reporter. Did you pick a local news
reporter? We have some good local news
going on out here in l.A. Did you pick someone to model
your character after? >> a little bit.
Tate taylor, who's the director, and I, we rabbit holed down
youtube. We found some really, really
good videos. So here was the trick.
We needed to find local news reporters -- I'm so sorry, can
you hear my kids? >> jimmy: I did hear kids, yeah.
>> so sorry. >> jimmy: That's all right.
>> keep them quiet! >> jimmy: They're all hopped up
on corn. [ laughter ]
>> oh my god, they're hopped up on something.
Okay. So -- my headphones.
This is just a mess. This is a mess.
>> jimmy: It's okay, it's fine. >> so tate and I decided it
needed to be a nondescript circa mid '90s journalist.
Local journalism today is so different than local journalism
in the '90s. We found old '90s videos of like
journalists trying to find stories in neighborhoods about
missing cats and knocking on people's doors.
But no one opened the door so their closing statement was
like, "and then nothing happened."
oh my god, I just watched 40 minutes of nothing happening and
then you told me nothing happened.
So that's what the character is a little based on.
>> jimmy: Your costar, wanda sykes, was with us last night.
She said you guys had a tremendous amount of fun
shooting this. Do you agree with that
statement? >> yeah.
Did she tell you we were am a commune?
>> jimmy: She said it was camp, like going to summer camp, we
had houses but they were all kind of connected.
We would meet up in tate's house for dinner.
>> jimmy: She said the bugs were so big, I think they took her
luggage up to her room for her. [ laughter ]
>> listen, she's not kidding. It's like -- I mean, I'm not
from natchez, mississippi, okay? I get it.
The south has some robust bugs. This was unlike anything that
I've experienced. >> jimmy: Really?
>> they were just everywhere. All the time.
They were so -- and they kept calling them different names.
They were cockroaches, jimmy, okay?
[ laughter ] let's call a spade a spade.
It was cockroaches. Little tiny cockroaches.
Everywhere. And my kids got so used to it
that they would wake up and be like, oh, look at the little
dead bug, tickle tickle -- and I was like, don't touch the
cockroach! Everywhere.
>> jimmy: Does any part of you like it when your kids are
touching cockroaches? It shows a fearlessness, right?
I like it when my kit kids -- my son picked up a snake over the
summer and I was like, well, I'd never do that, but good for you.
[ laughter ] >> yeah.
We have similar children. And so I'm super proud that
they're not like me. So yes.
We had a snake in our house in quarantine.
A snake came in. Like a little guy, not a super
bad snake, a whatever snake. >> jimmy: Yeah, garter snake.
>> and I was like -- might as well murder was happening in
front of me. I ran away.
Left my children and my husband and ran in the opposite
direction of the kitchen. And my children and husband all
ran towards the snake. And I was like, you're sick, all
of you are sick people! What is wrong with you?
They're like, mom, this is so awesome!
I was like -- I must have been crazed.
I don't know what happened. I was throwing things at the
snake. >> jimmy: Really?
And who got the snake out of there, ashton?
>> ashton, oh, yeah. Bare hands.
Look at this guy! The kids and him.
And it was cool once he caught it.
Before he caught it, the snake was just slithering in the
kitchen. It wasn't cool.
>> jimmy: Yeah, right. >> but then once it was like
apprehended I was like, oh, yeah, no, that's pretty cool.
>> jimmy: Oh, wow. >> then we got it outside.
>> jimmy: Between the snake and the raves that you guys have
going on? It's like some weird kind of
hollywood cult that you're part of.
>> is your quarantine not going like this?
I don't understand. >> jimmy: Your quarantine has
been relatively snake-free. It has been -- we've had some
corn, but it came wrapped in plastic.
[ laughter ] >> it was from whole foods.
>> jimmy: I can't say we've been to a rave, no.
>> you've got to go to this baby rave, it was awesome.
>> jimmy: Yeah, I'm going to take your word for that, mila.
[ laughter ] well, thanks for being with us.
"breaking news in yuba county" opens in select theaters and
digitally on Friday. Please wish ashton a happier
bird dan than he had next time. Mila kunis!
Be back with kj apa. >> jimmy: Welcome back.
Music from sam dew is still to come.
In four years of tv high school, our next guest has dated his
teacher, been jailed for murder, fought a bear and a man in a
bear skin. Now he's time-traveling.
Tonight on the cw, "riverdale" jumped seven years into the
future. Please welcome archie himself,
kj apa. [ cheers and applause ]
hi, kj, how are you? >> hey, guys.
How are you doing? >> jimmy: We're doing all right.
You're in vancouver, right? >> I am.
I'm in the gray vancouver right now.
>> jimmy: I hear that life is closer to normal than it is
here. >> a little bit.
I mean, people are still garbed in masks, things are shutting
early, it's still pretty intense.
>> jimmy: Are people eating out and going to bars?
>> yeah, but everybody shuts at 10:00.
>> jimmy: Is that what the virus wakes up?
[ laughter ] >> that's what the virus has
gone home. >> jimmy: You're from new
zealand, right? >> yes, sir.
>> jimmy: They've really got covid figured out.
I mean -- they crushed it. >> they've been good for like a
year now. Jacinda ardern is our president,
who we're very fond of, she's done such a good job.
Also, a small country with 5 million people.
I feel when the country needs to get something done, everybody
puts their heads down and gets it done.
>> jimmy: Are your relatives taunting you, sending
photographs of them hugging? >> all the boys are sending me
full-on festivals and stuff, it's great.
>> jimmy: Everybody just sighed a very sad sigh here in this
room. [ laughter ]
I didn't know you guys liked music festivals that much.
>> I still can't believe, you were intro'ing me and I couldn't
stop laughing to myself, it's so crazy to even be talking to you.
I'm such a -- I used to watch your show a lot.
And it's -- >> jimmy: Oh, thank you, why did
you stop? What happened?
[ laughter ] what is kj short for?
>> kj is short for kineti james, named after my father.
>> jimmy: Kinety. We say samoan, tell me how to
say it right. >> you're right.
>> jimmy: I think we have a picture of your dad.
Your dad is, correct me if I have any of this wrong, and I
apologize if I do. Your dad was a chief or is the
chief? Which is it?
>> he is a mataya. He holds the matay title, the
chief village that he's from and I'm from in san juan.
>> jimmy: His dad was chief, yes?
>> and after his father passed, the chief title was -- the matay
was handed down to my father. >> jimmy: Will that title be
handed down to you? Will you be chief?
>> I don't know. It's -- I can't speak samoan, so
it would be something for me to take that be kind of -- I would
think it's a huge responsibility.
I don't feel adequate, to be honest.
But I doubt myself in almost everything that I do, so.
>> jimmy: We had a president here in the united states who
wasn't adequate, even close to adequate.
[ laughter ] and he did great!
When I think of samoa, I think of football players.
You know, like a lot of -- >> big boys.
Big boys, yeah. Big boys.
>> jimmy: Very, very big -- I think the odds of big a football
player are like multiplied by 50 or something.
>> I know, it was always my dream to be -- I wish I was -- I
was always waiting for the moment when I was going to be
huge, growing up. >> jimmy: Yeah?
[ laughter ] >> all my friends and family
were just getting so big, and I was the scrawny white boy in the
family, the runt of the family that wasn't growing.
I had to play rug by against these guys who are three times
my size, I'm talking like full-grown men, pretty much.
>> jimmy: And rugby is the most rugged, rough sport of all the
team sports? >> it is in sport.
It's the best sport in the world, the most physical sport
in the world, it's better than football, the best sport in the
world. >> jimmy: You love it.
You played it for how long? >> my whole life until I turned
17, I had to stop because I started acting and the two don't
really go hand in hand. >> jimmy: Why don't they go hand
in hand? >> I got concussed about three
times. >> jimmy: I see.
>> yeah. Caught up with me.
>> jimmy: That doesn't help when you're trying to remember your
lines? [ laughter ]
>> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: Three times, wow.
That is a lot of times for a young man.
Were you knocked out cold? >> yeah, I was knocked -- the
one that I remember kind of, I remember getting a shoulder to
the head, walking up to my coach, a south african guy," you
can keep playing, right?" I was looking at my mate, where
are we right now? I was crying.
I was in the ambulance laughing hysterically but crying at the
same time, very strange. >> jimmy: How did do you go from
playing rugby thousands of miles away to this show, to
"riverdale," to acting in general?
>> oh, man. It's been a crazy ride.
I still don't really know. >> jimmy: Were you kidnapped?
>> I was laughing when you were intro'ing me, like this is
crazy. >> jimmy: Is this something you
always wanted to do? >> no!
>> jimmy: It just happened? >> it just happened and I'm so
grateful for it. >> jimmy: Wow.
You guys went seven years into the future tonight on
"riverdale," which I imagine is good because you are not in high
school, right? Your castmates are not of high
school age. >> yeah, I mean, I'm the
youngest on the show. I'm probably -- I think I could
get away with playing, you know, that character in high school
for a little longer. But people like charles who have
just turned 30, and cole who's 27?
[ laughter ] they're playing close to their
ages. >> jimmy: 30 in high school,
something has gone terribly wrong.
[ laughter ] you've had probably more than
three concussions if you're 30 in high school.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: So that's good.
So was that done for -- maybe you don't even know.
Did the writers decide to do that because they're like, hey,
we got to keep this show going? Or was it really part of the
plan? >> oh, man, who knows with those
writers. I've been attacked by a bear how
many times now? [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: Yeah, a bear and a guy dressed as a bear, right?
Did you watch the super bowl or do you -- are you interested in
american-style football? >> no, I still don't really
understand football. But --
>> jimmy: What do you want to know?
>> I don't really understand football, I don't really know
what the super bowl or a super bowl -- the super bowl?
Before two, three months ago. >> jimmy: Hold on a minute.
[ laughter ] you didn't know what the --
>> I got a text from mark consuelos.
>> jimmy: Right, who's on your show.
>> right above me, he lives on the top floor of this building.
Every season I feel he's on a different top floor of every
building. I feel like -- he texted me and
he was like, super bowl, my house, 3:00.
And I was on this diet to prepare for a shirtless scene on
the show. Man, I can't eat right now.
To some reason, I thought he was talking about a superfood bowl.
[ laughter ] heek like, bro.
What are you talking about? It's the super bowl.
>> jimmy: Wow. You really aren't american,
that's for sure. But we welcome you.
>> yes. >> jimmy: Well, it's great to
have you on. The show's called "riverdale,"
it airs Wednesday nights on the cw.
Kj apa. Thanks, kj!
[ cheers and applause ] be back with sam dew.
>> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
presented by mercedes-benz. The best or nothing.
>> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
presented by mercedes-benz. The best or nothing.
>> jimmy: This is his album, it's called "moonlit fools."
it comes out February 26th. With the song "dj" from
beautiful malibu, california, sam dew!
[ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ I just want my
want my babe tear drops in the ♪
♪ summertime god I feel so crazy
I don't wanna be ♪ ♪ the one
but you should come and save me ♪
♪ cause' I been having chills
and these bends got lately ♪ ♪ I done broke too many down
too many lies I done broke ♪
♪ too many hearts crashed many hard
I deserve it all ♪ ♪ I been wrong oh
but if we ever start again I would start like friends ♪
♪ so I'm yelling dj oh dj play that slow jam for me
dj I want my baby ♪ ♪ hope she save
her lonely for me dj oh dj ♪
♪ play that slow jam for me dj I need my baby
why won't you cover me ♪ ♪ I'm pulling out the rose
dunno'bout my goals I threw out all the plans ♪
♪ got no feeling through my toes
I desert you ♪ ♪ in that off night
sell it like is all right I be in a bad bad place ♪
♪ and some new nikes but don't run away
don't run away I been your slave ♪
♪ since second grade I'm not the same
won't be the same ♪ ♪ I swear I'll change
♪ I'm yelling dj oh dj
play that slow jam for me dj I want my baby ♪
♪ hope she save her lonely for me
dj oh dj ♪ ♪ play that slow jam for me
dj I need my baby she's saving her lonely for me ♪
♪ ♪
>> jimmy: I want to thank mila kunis, kj apa and sam dew.
Apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next.
Enjoy it while you floss! Thanks for watching, goodnight.