1 00:00:03,402 --> 00:00:03,963 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 2 00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:08,868 TONIGHT ‐‐ WILL ARNETT. MARK HAMILL. ROSAMUND PIKE. 3 00:00:08,868 --> 00:00:11,470 AND MUSIC FROM NAV FEATURING GUNNA. AND NOW ‐‐ JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:14,840 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,209 >> Jimmy: HI, I'M JIMMY KIMMEL. I'M THE HOST. 6 00:00:17,209 --> 00:00:19,845 THANKS FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR ASH 7 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:22,448 WEDNESDAY EXTRAVAGANZA. TODAY MARKS THE FIRST DAY OF 8 00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:26,886 LENT. THE WHOLE YEAR HAS BEEN LENT, I 9 00:00:26,886 --> 00:00:29,755 DON'T KNOW. WHAT'S LEFT TO GIVE UP? 10 00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:31,457 [ LAUGHTER ] 11 00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:35,728 BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC SOME CATHOLIC CHURCHES HAD TO 12 00:00:35,728 --> 00:00:37,930 IMPROVISE. THEY WERE OFFERING A 13 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:44,804 DRIVE‐THROUGH ASH‐PERIENCE THIS MORNING. 14 00:00:44,804 --> 00:00:46,572 THIS WAS SOME CHURCH IN NEW JERSEY. 15 00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:49,709 >> REMEMBER YOU ARE FROM DUST AND TO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN. 16 00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:52,745 HERE'S YOUR EIGHT‐PIECE FINGER‐LICKING VALUE MEAL. 17 00:00:52,745 --> 00:00:54,680 >> GOD BLESS YOU, FATHER, AND GOD BLESS THE COLONEL. 18 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,218 >> DRIVE THROUGH. NEXT! 19 00:00:59,218 --> 00:00:59,719 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 20 00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:01,821 >> Jimmy: GOD BLESS THE COLONEL, PEOPLE DON'T SAY THIS ENOUGH. 21 00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:05,758 AND THIS PRIEST ‐‐ THEY WEREN'T SET UP FOR A 22 00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,460 DRIVE‐THROUGH SITUATION, BUT 23 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:17,670 THIS PRIEST REALLY GOT CREATIVE. 24 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:22,341 >> REPENT AND BELIEVE IN THE GOSPEL. REPENT AND BELIEVE IN THE 25 00:01:22,341 --> 00:01:23,976 GOSPEL. 26 00:01:23,976 --> 00:01:24,777 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, FATHER RAMBO. 27 00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:32,218 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 28 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,619 WE'RE RESOURCEFUL. PRESIDENT BIDEN WENT TO CHURCH 29 00:01:33,619 --> 00:01:34,954 THIS MORNING. LAST NIGHT, HE PROMISED THE 30 00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:36,389 VACCINE WILL BE AVAILABLE TO EVERY AMERICAN WHO WANTS IT BY 31 00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:38,324 THE END OF JULY. AND THEN WE CAN GET BACK TO 32 00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:39,892 SPREADING THE OLD STUFF. HERPES, GONORRHEA, AND GOOD 33 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:40,626 TIMES. 34 00:01:40,626 --> 00:01:42,228 [ LAUGHTER ] 35 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:48,467 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 36 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:49,735 THE WHITE HOUSE IS SAID TO BE IN TALKS WITH AMAZON RIGHT NOW TO 37 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,805 HELP DISTRIBUTE THE VACCINE. THE WAY IT WILL WORK IS ANY 38 00:01:52,805 --> 00:01:56,509 PRIME MEMBER WHO CAN PROVE THEY'VE WATCHED ALL SIX SEASONS 39 00:01:56,509 --> 00:01:59,845 OF "BOSCH" WILL GET VACCINATED. 40 00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,380 [ LAUGHTER ] 41 00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:03,249 AND NOT ONLY IS AMAZON PITCHING IN TO HELP, THERE WAS A SURPRISE 42 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:07,286 ANNOUNCEMENT FROM APPLE TODAY, TOO. 43 00:02:07,286 --> 00:02:11,223 >> GOOD AFTERNOON. COVID‐19 WAS A HUGE LEAP FORWARD 44 00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:15,394 IN THE PANDEMIC INDUSTRY. AND I AM SO EXCITED TO UNVEIL 45 00:02:15,394 --> 00:02:20,032 WHAT'S UP NEXT. 46 00:02:20,032 --> 00:02:27,706 INTRODUCING COVID‐20! COVID‐20 IS MORE TRANSMISSIBLE 47 00:02:27,706 --> 00:02:33,779 THAN COVID‐19 IN EVERY WAY. COVID‐20 CAN BE CONTRACTED BY 48 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:39,351 TOUCHING, MOVING, BLINKING, BREATHING, HAVING IMPURE 49 00:02:39,351 --> 00:02:43,456 THOUGHTS, SMILING TOO HARD, AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, SHOWING 50 00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:43,656 FEAR. 51 00:02:43,656 --> 00:02:46,559 [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:47,059 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 53 00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:50,362 NOW WHILE WE'RE STILL WORKING OUT THE SYMPTOMS, REST ASSURED 54 00:02:50,362 --> 00:02:54,867 THAT COVID‐20 WILL KILL YOUR PARENTS FASTER THAN ANY VIRUS 55 00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:56,769 YOU'VE EVER SEEN. 56 00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:57,136 [ LAUGHTER ] 57 00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:57,636 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 58 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:03,609 AND FOR LARGER COVID LOVERS, WE ARE THRILLED TO INTRODUCE 59 00:03:03,609 --> 00:03:07,046 COVID‐20 PLUS! 60 00:03:07,046 --> 00:03:09,148 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 61 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:13,652 PIZZA, PASTA, CUPCAKES, BEEF. COVID‐20 PLUS LIVES IN 62 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821 EVERYTHING YOU EAT. DELIVERING THE MOST DELICIOUS 63 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:19,458 VIRUS EXPERIENCE YET. 64 00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:23,229 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 65 00:03:23,229 --> 00:03:26,132 >> Jimmy: AS LONG AS WE DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR A NEW CHARGER. 66 00:03:26,132 --> 00:03:27,366 OUR NEW PRESIDENT HELD A CNN TOWN HALL WITH ANDERSON COOPER 67 00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:29,768 LAST NIGHT. HE SAID HE'S TIRED OF TALKING 68 00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:35,040 ABOUT DONALD TRUMP. AND REFERRED TO DONALD TRUMP AS 69 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,276 "THE FORMER GUY." WHICH I LOVE, BECAUSE HE WILL 70 00:03:37,276 --> 00:03:37,877 HATE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. 71 00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:38,744 [ LAUGHTER ] 72 00:03:38,744 --> 00:03:40,146 JOE KNOWS THAT THE WAY TO DEFLATE TRUMP IS TO IGNORE HIM. 73 00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:44,016 BUT IT'S HARD. HE'S LIKE A 2‐YEAR‐OLD. 74 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,484 YOU WORRY THAT IF YOU TAKE YOUR EYE OFF HIM, HE'LL FLUSH YOUR 75 00:03:45,484 --> 00:03:47,219 KEYS DOWN THE TOILET. 76 00:03:47,219 --> 00:03:47,520 [ LAUGHTER ] 77 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:53,759 BIDEN ALSO SHED SOME LIGHT ON WHICH FORMER PRESIDENTS HE'S 78 00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:54,894 SPOKEN TO, AND WHICH HE HAS NOT. 79 00:03:54,894 --> 00:03:57,630 >> HAVE YOU PICKED UP THE PHONE AND CALLED ANY FORMER PRESIDENT 80 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:57,863 YET? 81 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,732 >> YES, I HAVE. 82 00:03:59,732 --> 00:04:00,966 >> DO YOU WANT TO SAY WHO? 83 00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:03,769 >> NO, I DON'T, THEY'RE PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS. 84 00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:08,574 BUT, BY THE WAY, ALL OF THEM HAVE, WITH ONE EXCEPTION, PICKED 85 00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:09,508 UP THE PHONE AND CALLED ME AS WELL. 86 00:04:09,508 --> 00:04:16,048 [ LAUGHTER ] 87 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:16,882 >> Jimmy: BLINK IF IT'S THE FAT ONE. 88 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,418 [ LAUGHTER ] 89 00:04:19,418 --> 00:04:20,686 TRUMP HAS NOT CALLED JOE BIDEN. TRUMP DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO CALL 90 00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:23,088 JOE BIDEN. HE'S TOO BUSY PHONING HIS "FOX 91 00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,591 AND FRIENDS." AFTER 27 DAYS IN HIDING, TRUMP 92 00:04:25,591 --> 00:04:32,698 CALLED INTO FOX NEWS TODAY TO TALK ABOUT HIS FRIEND 93 00:04:32,698 --> 00:04:33,832 RUSH LIMBAUGH, WHO DIED. AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE IT 94 00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,935 WAS. 95 00:04:35,935 --> 00:04:41,707 >> WELL, RUSH DEFINITELY WON, SO DID I, BY THE WAY, I THINK WE 96 00:04:41,707 --> 00:04:44,210 WON SUBSTANTIALLY. RUSH THOUGHT WE WON. 97 00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:47,947 AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS OVER AT 10:00, 10:30, IT WAS OVER. 98 00:04:47,947 --> 00:04:50,716 AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE FEEL THAT WAY TOO. 99 00:04:50,716 --> 00:04:53,185 BUT RUSH FELT THAT WAY STRONGLY. AND MANY PEOPLE DO. 100 00:04:53,185 --> 00:04:58,090 MANY PROFESSIONALS DO. AND I DON'T THINK THAT COULD 101 00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:00,859 HAVE HAPPENED TO A DEMOCRAT. YOU WOULD HAVE HAD ‐‐ YOU WOULD 102 00:05:00,859 --> 00:05:05,764 HAVE HAD RIOTS GOING ALL OVER THE PLACE IF THAT HAPPENED TO A 103 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:06,765 DEMOCRAT. 104 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,566 >> Jimmy: ANYWAY, WHO DIED, AGAIN? 105 00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:09,835 [ LAUGHTER ] 106 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:13,405 THERE'S NO "I" IN EULOGY, DON. AND IT'S NOT LIKE THE FOX CREW 107 00:05:13,405 --> 00:05:14,640 DIDN'T TRY. THEY DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO 108 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,376 TEE HIM UP TO TALK ABOUT RUSH, BUT SOMEHOW IT KEPT COMING BACK 109 00:05:17,376 --> 00:05:21,080 TO THE ELECTION HE STILL THINKS HE WON. 110 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:26,185 >> DID HE SAY TO YOU WHAT ROLE HE WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU PLAY 111 00:05:26,185 --> 00:05:26,652 NEXT? 112 00:05:26,652 --> 00:05:30,556 >> WELL, WE DIDN'T TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THAT. 113 00:05:30,556 --> 00:05:33,726 I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT TOO MUCH EITHER. 114 00:05:33,726 --> 00:05:38,764 BECAUSE I WAS ‐‐ I WAS DISAPPOINTED BY VOTER TABULATION. 115 00:05:38,764 --> 00:05:40,833 I THINK IT'S DISGRACEFUL, WHAT HAPPENED. 116 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:44,670 WE WERE LIKE A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY ON ELECTION NIGHT WITH 117 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:47,740 THE CLOSING DOWN OF THE CENTERS AND ALL OF THE THINGS THAT 118 00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:50,442 HAPPENED LATE IN THE EVENING. AND HE WAS FURIOUS AT IT. 119 00:05:50,442 --> 00:05:55,948 AND MANY PEOPLE ARE FURIOUS. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW ANGRY THIS 120 00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:56,815 COUNTRY IS. AND PEOPLE WERE FURIOUS. 121 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,384 >> Jimmy: WELL, I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT LISTENING TO HIM 122 00:05:58,384 --> 00:05:59,652 BLATHER ON NONSENSICALLY ABOUT HIMSELF IS WHAT RUSH WOULD HAVE 123 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:00,352 WANTED. 124 00:06:00,352 --> 00:06:01,920 [ LAUGHTER ] 125 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:06,592 ONE OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S MOST FAMOUS FAILURES, THE TRUMP 126 00:06:06,592 --> 00:06:11,330 PLAZA CASINO, WAS IMPLODED TODAY IN ATLANTIC CITY. 127 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:15,034 EVERY CHAPTER OF TRUMP'S BIOGRAPHY IS 11. 128 00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:16,568 [ LAUGHTER ] 129 00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,637 THE BUILDING HAD FALLEN INTO SUCH A STATE OF DISREPAIR IT HAD 130 00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:24,476 TO BE PUT OUT OF ITS MISERY. FRONT‐ROW SEATS FOR THE 131 00:06:24,476 --> 00:06:25,744 IMPLOSION WENT FOR $600 A PAIR. THEY USED THREE THOUSAND STICKS 132 00:06:25,744 --> 00:06:27,613 OF DYNAMITE, AND AUCTIONED OFF THE CHANCE FOR ONE LUCKY WINNER 133 00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:42,494 TO BLOW IT UP. 134 00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:42,928 [ LAUGHTER ] 135 00:06:42,928 --> 00:06:43,329 [ APPLAUSE ] 136 00:06:43,329 --> 00:06:47,099 >> Jimmy: I'M HAPPY FOR HIM. HE'S PRETTY SPEEDY FOR A POODLE. 137 00:06:47,099 --> 00:06:49,335 DONALD TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM HAS ALSO IMPLODED. 138 00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:52,738 HE'S BROKEN IT OFF WITH HIS NUMBER ONE HENCHMONSTER. 139 00:06:52,738 --> 00:06:57,242 RUDY GIULIANI. TEAM TRUMP PUT OUT A STATEMENT 140 00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,777 SAYING THAT GIULIANI IS NOT CURRENTLY REPRESENTING TRUMP IN 141 00:06:58,777 --> 00:07:01,013 ANY LEGAL MATTERS. RUDY APPARENTLY MISTOOK HIS HAIR 142 00:07:01,013 --> 00:07:05,918 DYE FOR GORILLA GLUE. AND HE'S GOING TO BE OUT OF 143 00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:06,418 COMMISSION FOR A WHILE. 144 00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:07,619 [ LAUGHTER ] 145 00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:10,089 AND WITH TRUMP OFF HIS PLATE NOW RUDY HAS MORE TIME FOR HIS TRUE 146 00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:13,592 PASSION ‐‐ WALKING THE STREETS OF UKRAINE SCREAMING 147 00:07:13,592 --> 00:07:14,960 HUNTER BIDEN'S NAME. 148 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,229 [ LAUGHTER ] 149 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,063 IT IS STILL VERY COLD IN THIS COUNTRY. 150 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,733 AND BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS DIVIDED BY POLITICS NOW, 151 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:22,701 FINGERS ARE BEING POINTED ‐‐ AT THE WEATHER. 152 00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:28,140 TEXAS HAS BEEN HIT ESPECIALLY HARD BY BLACKOUTS AS A RESULT OF 153 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,008 THE COLD, WHICH PUTS THE REPUBLICANS WHO RUN THE STATE IN 154 00:07:30,008 --> 00:07:32,144 A TOUGH SPOT. THEY DID A LOT OF MOCKING 155 00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:36,181 CALIFORNIA WHEN OUR POWER WENT OUT. 156 00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:39,918 SO NOW THE GOVERNOR, JIM ABBOTT, OF TEXAS HAS BEEN WORKING HARD 157 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,254 TO SOMEHOW PUSH THE BLAME TO DEMOCRATS AND THE GREEN NEW DEAL. 158 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,690 WHICH DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET. AND TUCKER CARLSON IS HELPING 159 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:49,128 HIM OUT BY BLAMING IT ON WINDMILLS. 160 00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:52,731 >> WIND TURBINES WOUND UP GENERATING ABOUT ONE‐QUARTER OF 161 00:07:52,731 --> 00:07:56,635 TEXAS' POWER. IT GOT COLD LAST NIGHT, AND THE 162 00:07:56,635 --> 00:08:00,739 WINDMILLS FROZE, AND AS A RESULT, MILLIONS OF TEXANS ARE 163 00:08:00,739 --> 00:08:02,141 FREEZING. SEVERAL HAVE DIED. 164 00:08:02,141 --> 00:08:05,477 >> Jimmy: YES, KILLED BY WINDMILLS. 165 00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:05,778 [ LAUGHTER ] 166 00:08:05,778 --> 00:08:08,013 NONE OF THAT IS REMOTELY TRUE. THE REASON FOR BLACKOUTS IS 167 00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:13,118 BECAUSE OF FROZEN INSTRUMENTS AT COAL, NATURAL GAS, AND NUCLEAR 168 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:16,188 FACILITIES. WINDMILLS ARE HOLING UP 169 00:08:16,188 --> 00:08:21,827 DISPROPORTIONATELY WELL BY COMPARISON. 170 00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:23,061 SO DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING CON‐QUIXOTE SAYS. 171 00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:24,329 EVEN THE EXPERT TUCKER DRAGGED ON TO TALK SMACK ABOUT WINDMILLS 172 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:27,366 WASN'T WILLING TO BACK HIM ON IT. 173 00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:32,271 >> SEEMS RECKLESS TO SET ASIDE 25% OF YOUR POWER GRID FOR 174 00:08:32,271 --> 00:08:33,272 WINDMILLS. DO YOU THINK THAT IT IS? 175 00:08:33,272 --> 00:08:38,444 >> TUCKER, I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT WINDMILLS, THEY'RE NOT 176 00:08:38,444 --> 00:08:40,212 PREVALENT IN THIS AREA. 177 00:08:40,212 --> 00:08:40,512 [ LAUGHTER ] 178 00:08:40,512 --> 00:08:41,647 >> Jimmy: WELL, THEY'RE DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY. 179 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:45,451 ONE MINIATURE GOLF COURSE COULD WIPE OUT AN ENTIRE STATE. 180 00:08:45,451 --> 00:08:45,751 [ LAUGHTER ] 181 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,353 IN CALIFORNIA THINGS ARE STARTING TO OPEN BACK UP. 182 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,721 SEVERAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS RESUMED IN‐PERSON CLASSES IN 183 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:51,590 L.A. COUNTY THIS WEEK. AND OUR GOVERNOR, GAVIN NEWSOM, 184 00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:52,991 ANNOUNCED THAT IN SOME PARTS OF THE STATE MOVIE THEATERS COULD 185 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,594 BE UP AND RUNNING AS EARLY AS NEXT WEEK. 186 00:08:55,594 --> 00:09:01,600 WHICH MEANS WE CAN FINALLY SEE "SONIC THE HEDGEHOG" ON A BIG 187 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:01,834 SCREEN. 188 00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:05,537 [ LAUGHTER ] 189 00:09:05,537 --> 00:09:06,805 SINCE MOVIES ARE COMING BACK WE DECIDED TO HAVE A BIT OF FUN. 190 00:09:06,805 --> 00:09:11,610 WE MADE A FAKE POSTER FOR A FAKE MOVIE. 191 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,011 WE STATIONED OURSELVES OUTSIDE A THEATER HERE IN HOLLYWOOD, AND 192 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,380 TOLD PEOPLE WALKING BY THAT WE WERE DOING A COMMERCIAL FOR IT. 193 00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:19,017 AND ASKED IF THEY WOULD GIVE IT A RAVE REVIEW WITHOUT SEEING IT. 194 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,387 BECAUSE IT'S NOT A REAL MOVIE. BUT RAVE THEY DID IN A 195 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:25,757 SPECIAL COVID EDITION OF "LIES, 196 00:09:25,757 --> 00:09:30,395 CAMERA, ACTION." 197 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:35,868 >> THIS MOVIE IS CALLED "THAWING ALBERT." 198 00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,337 MARK HAMILL PLAYS ALBERT EINSTEIN. 199 00:09:38,337 --> 00:09:41,273 THEY HAVE TO DEFROST HIM TO SOLVE COVID‐19. 200 00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:43,775 YOU JUST CAME OUT OF THE THEATER, TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU 201 00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,310 LOVED IT. 202 00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:47,579 >> OH MY GOSH! "THAWING ALBERT," ONE OF THE 203 00:09:47,579 --> 00:09:52,284 BEST MOVIES I'VE SEEN ALL YEAR. ALBERT EINSTEIN, HE'S GETTING 204 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:54,720 UNFROSTED ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, I'M SPEECHLESS! 205 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,590 >> MARK HAMILL PLAYS ALBERT EINSTEIN. HE CAN SOLVE THE COVID. 206 00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:02,194 HE GETS IT TOTALLY SOLVED AND CURED. 207 00:10:02,194 --> 00:10:05,464 >> TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE SKI RACE AGAINST THE RICH 208 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:09,701 BULLIES THAT ALBERT EINSTEIN HAD TO WIN TO SAVE THE SKI LODGE. 209 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:14,907 >> WELL, AFTER HE WAS BEING I GUESS PUMPED, SAVED BY ALL THE 210 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:18,610 RICH KIDS, HE HAD TO ESCAPE. YOU KNOW, HE DUCKED UNDER THAT 211 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:21,046 TREE BRANCH, IT WAS ABOUT TO SLICE HIS HEAD OFF, YOU KNOW, 212 00:10:21,046 --> 00:10:22,714 AND HE WAS JUST ‐‐ MAN. 213 00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:28,287 >> THEN HE POPPED UP AND SAID, "E EQUALS M SKI SQUARED." 214 00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:32,791 >> M SKI ‐‐ THAT GOT ME, M SKI SQUARED, THAT WAS AWESOME. 215 00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:36,295 >> DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO FEEL SAFE GOING BACK INTO THE THEATER. 216 00:10:36,295 --> 00:10:38,764 TALK ABOUT HOW IT'S OKAY TO GO SEE A MOVIE AGAIN. 217 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:42,100 >> COME SEE THIS MOVIE, IT WILL BE THE ONE YOU GO BACK INTO 218 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:42,534 THEATERS FOR. 219 00:10:42,534 --> 00:10:45,170 >> EVEN IF YOU HAVE A LITTLE COUGH? 220 00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:52,077 >> IF YOU TALK THROUGH YOUR MASK, IT'S FUN, TALK HERE, COUGH 221 00:10:52,077 --> 00:10:52,277 HERE. 222 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,479 >> EVEN IF YOU'VE BEEN AROUND SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN DIAGNOSED 223 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:57,115 WITH COVID, IT'S OKAY TO COME TO THE MOVIES? 224 00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:02,120 >> I DON'T ‐‐ HOW DO YOU ‐‐ UM. STAY HOME WITH YOUR MOM AND DAD, 225 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,791 BUT IF YOU HAVE COVID, COME SIT IN THE COVID SECTION, AWAY FROM 226 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,794 EVERYBODY ELSE. 227 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:12,564 >> I SAT IN THE COVID SECTION, I FELT SAFE, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE 228 00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:13,165 ANYTHING WAS WRONG. 229 00:11:13,165 --> 00:11:16,034 >> THERE WAS A LOT OF COUGHING AND SNEEZING? 230 00:11:16,034 --> 00:11:18,236 >> A LOT OF COUGHING AND SNEEZING. 231 00:11:18,236 --> 00:11:20,205 >> NOBODY WORE MASKS? 232 00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:21,573 >> I DIDN'T HAVE ON A MASK. 233 00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:23,075 >> I DIDN'T CARE? 234 00:11:23,075 --> 00:11:25,043 >> I DIDN'T CARE, I WANTED TO SEE THE MOVIE. 235 00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:27,779 >> I WOULDN'T MIND CATCHING COVID? 236 00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:30,382 >> I WOULDN'T MIND CATCHING COVID, IT'S SOMETHING TO DO. 237 00:11:30,382 --> 00:11:31,550 >> SAY COVID IS A HOAX. 238 00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:36,755 >> I FIRMLY BELIEVE COVID IS A HOAX, I'VE KNOWN THAT FOR MONTHS. 239 00:11:36,755 --> 00:11:40,559 NEVER GOT SICK, I'M 65, I FEEL GREAT. 240 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,094 >> I KISS STRANGERS EVERY DAY? 241 00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:43,729 >> I KISS STRANGERS EVERY DAY. 242 00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:46,431 >> AND MORE THAN THAT? 243 00:11:46,431 --> 00:11:49,735 >> A LOT MORE THAN THAT. 244 00:11:49,735 --> 00:11:53,739 >> I NEVER THOUGHT OF ALBERT EINSTEIN AS A SEXUAL BEING, BUT 245 00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:55,407 AFTER THE SEX SCENE BETWEEN HIM AND THE CIA AGENT? 246 00:11:55,407 --> 00:11:58,343 HE WAS KIND OF HOT. 247 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:06,184 >> LOOK RIGHT THERE AND SAY, THE SEX SCENES WERE GRATUITOUS. 248 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:11,923 >> THE SEX SCENES WERE PRATUITOUS. 249 00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:13,291 >> YOU'LL PROBABLY CATCH COVID BUT IT'S WORTH IT. 250 00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:14,860 >> WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? 251 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,795 >> WE'RE TRYING TO PROMOTE THE MOVIE. 252 00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:20,465 >> IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE GO IF I SAY THAT. 253 00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,267 >> TRY, THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD. 254 00:12:22,267 --> 00:12:24,703 >> THIS MOVIE IS REALLY, REALLY GOOD. 255 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,905 >> IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF YOU CATCH COVID. 256 00:12:26,905 --> 00:12:28,607 >> I'M NOT ‐‐ I CAN'T SAY THAT. 257 00:12:28,607 --> 00:12:32,244 >> YOU'LL FEEL SAFE, IF YOU HAVE COVID, THEY MAKE YOU SIT IN THE 258 00:12:32,244 --> 00:12:32,778 COVID SECTION. 259 00:12:32,778 --> 00:12:35,814 >> THAT'S NOT GOING TO ENTICE PEOPLE TO SEE THE MOVIE. 260 00:12:35,814 --> 00:12:39,017 >> IF THEY HAVE COVID, THEY CAN SIT IN THE COVID SECTION. 261 00:12:39,017 --> 00:12:41,019 >> IF THEY HAVE COVID, THEY SHOULDN'T BE IN THE BUILDING. 262 00:12:41,019 --> 00:12:43,155 >> YEAH, BUT THEY'RE SITTING IN ONE SECTION, THEY'RE ROPED OFF. 263 00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:47,559 >> I'M GOOD. 264 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:47,859 [ LAUGHTER ] 265 00:12:47,859 --> 00:12:52,164 >> MOVIE LOVERS AGREE, "THAWING ALBERT" IS THE HOTTEST TICKET IN 266 00:12:52,164 --> 00:12:52,364 TOWN. 267 00:12:52,364 --> 00:12:55,734 >> IF YOU'RE GOING TO RISK YOUR LIFE SEEING ONE MOVIE THIS YEAR, 268 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,636 MAKE IT "THAWING ALBERT." 269 00:12:57,636 --> 00:13:00,706 >> CRITICS CROW, THIS IS MARK HAMILL'S BEST PERFORMANCE SINCE 270 00:13:00,706 --> 00:13:02,708 THAT ONE WITH THE SPACESHIP! 271 00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:06,545 >> I'M BACK TO KICK THE CORONAVIRUS IN THE NUTS! 272 00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:09,881 >> MARK HAMILL'S PERFORMANCE WAS TO DIE FOR, AND I ALMOST DID! 273 00:13:09,881 --> 00:13:12,718 >> COME BACK TO A THEATER TO EXPERIENCE ALL THE ACTION! 274 00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:18,290 >> OH NO! THEY'RE GAINING ON ME! 275 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:25,263 TAKE THAT, BULLIES! HA HA HA! 276 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,865 E EQUALS M SKI SQUARED! 277 00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:34,573 >> "THE NEW YORK TIMES" CHEERS, THE SEX SCENES WERE PRETUITOUS. 278 00:13:34,573 --> 00:13:41,146 >> DANKE SCHOEN, NOW YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND THE THEORY OF 279 00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:41,446 RELATIVITY. 280 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:45,450 >> SCREW YOU, CORONAVIRUS, IT'S TIME TO GO BACK TO THE MOVIES. 281 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,120 >> FLING OFF YOUR MASK! 282 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,590 >> I SAT IN THE BALCONY AND HAD UNPROTECTED SIX, THANKS, 283 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:52,324 "THAWING ALBERT." 284 00:13:52,324 --> 00:13:54,960 >> YOU'RE WELCOME, PERVERT! 285 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,263 >> "THAWING ALBERT." THIS FILM IS NOT YET VACCINATED. 286 00:13:58,263 --> 00:13:58,764 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 287 00:13:58,764 --> 00:14:00,298 >> Jimmy: THAT LOOKS GOOD, RIGHT? 288 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,100 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 289 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,769 ROSAMUND PIKE IS WITH US. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM NAV FEATURING 290 00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:04,703 GUNNA. AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE 291 00:14:04,703 --> 00:14:12,280 WONDERFUL WILL ARNETT. SO STICK AROUND. 292 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:12,742 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 293 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,482 ♪ 294 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,317 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 295 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,819 TONIGHT FROM THE NEW MOVIE "I CARE A LOT," ROSAMUND PIKE IS 296 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,088 WITH US. 297 00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:23,555 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 298 00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:27,025 AND LATER HIS MIXTAPE, THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS A MIXTAPE EVEN 299 00:14:27,025 --> 00:14:30,662 THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALBUM, IT'S NOT. IT'S A MIXTAPE. 300 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:30,962 [ LAUGHTER ] 301 00:14:30,962 --> 00:14:33,565 HE MADE IT FOR US. IT'S CALLED "EMERGENCY TSUNAMI." 302 00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:34,599 MUSIC FROM NAV WITH GUNNA. 303 00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,334 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 304 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,837 TOMORROW NIGHT, JODIE FOSTER AND KELLY MARIE TRAN WILL JOIN US 305 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:42,607 WITH MUSIC FROM BLACK PUMAS. AND ON FRIDAY, WE HAVE A NEW 306 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:45,644 SHOW WITH KATE HUDSON, DOMINIQUE FISHBACK, AND MUSIC 307 00:14:45,644 --> 00:14:47,779 FROM EVANESCENCE. 308 00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:48,280 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 309 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,217 PLEASE JOIN US FOR ALL THAT. OUR FIRST GUEST IS A WARM AND 310 00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:55,287 TALENTED MAN WITH PIERCING BLUE EYES AND A LARYNX LINED WITH 311 00:14:55,287 --> 00:14:57,756 IGUANA LEATHER. 312 00:14:57,756 --> 00:14:58,223 [ LAUGHTER ] 313 00:14:58,223 --> 00:15:00,692 HE IS CO‐CO‐HOST OF ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PODCASTS AROUND, 314 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:07,899 NEW EPISODES OF "SMARTLESS" WITH HIS COHOST, JASON BATEMAN AND 315 00:15:07,899 --> 00:15:13,071 SEAN HAYES, COME OUT MONDAYS. PLEASE WELCOME WILL ARNETT. 316 00:15:13,071 --> 00:15:14,206 WELCOME, WILL, HOW ARE YOU? 317 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:16,575 >> GOOD, MAN, HOW ARE YOU, HOW ARE YOU? 318 00:15:16,575 --> 00:15:19,978 >> Jimmy: DOING GREAT. I SEE YOU'VE STILL GOT THAT 319 00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:22,113 MICROPHONE GOING. THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN FOR US 320 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:23,148 AT THE LAST MINUTE. 321 00:15:23,148 --> 00:15:28,053 >> YEAH, I HEARD THAT YOU HAD A ‐‐ YOU HAD A GUEST WHO DROPPED 322 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:28,253 OUT. 323 00:15:28,253 --> 00:15:30,255 >> Jimmy: YEAH. LAST‐MINUTE CANCELATION THING. 324 00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:31,990 ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH JASON BATEMAN? 325 00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:32,324 >> I AM, I AM. 326 00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:34,259 [ LAUGHTER ] 327 00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:37,896 I DIDN'T WANT TO ‐‐ I DIDN'T WANT TO OUT HIM. YOU KNOW. 328 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,432 I DIDN'T WANT TO SHAME HIM. BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. 329 00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:44,369 YEAH. SO JASON ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY TOO BUSY. 330 00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:44,736 [ LAUGHTER ] 331 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,572 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID, TOO BUSY. 332 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:51,543 THEY SAID HE WAS SHOOTING HIS SHOW, SO HE COULDN'T DO THE SHOW. 333 00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:54,279 YOU KNOW. I SAID, YEAH, WELL, WE'RE 334 00:15:54,279 --> 00:15:55,447 SHOOTING ALSO. OUR SHOW. 335 00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:57,883 >> YEAH. AND HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF YOURS. 336 00:15:57,883 --> 00:15:59,117 AND HE HAD ALREADY SAID YES. 337 00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:07,959 THEN HE BACKED OUT BECAUSE 338 00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,561 "BLOWZARK'S" SCHEDULE CHANGED OR SOMETHING. 339 00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:11,930 >> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S CALLED "OZARK." 340 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,398 >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 341 00:16:13,398 --> 00:16:14,466 >> Jimmy: OH. 342 00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:15,233 >> DUDE, GEEZ. 343 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,969 [ LAUGHTER ] 344 00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:23,975 >> Jimmy: SOUNDED LIKE "BLOWZARK." 345 00:16:23,975 --> 00:16:24,309 >> GUYS. 346 00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:26,111 >> Jimmy: IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT? 347 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,747 >> YOU SAID IT. I'M GOING OFF ‐‐ CHECKING MY 348 00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:31,149 NOTES. "OZARK." 349 00:16:31,149 --> 00:16:35,353 >> Jimmy: AND WHATEVER IT'S CALLED, THAT SHOW, I HAVE SPIES 350 00:16:35,353 --> 00:16:38,156 EVERYWHERE, YOU KNOW THAT, I HAVE PEOPLE IN EVERY REGION. 351 00:16:38,156 --> 00:16:40,091 JASON IS IN ATLANTA. THIS IS A PHOTO. 352 00:16:40,091 --> 00:16:41,059 I PROMISE YOU, THIS WAS TAKEN TODAY. 353 00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:43,595 [ LAUGHTER ] 354 00:16:43,595 --> 00:16:45,130 >> WHAT IS HE DOING? 355 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,867 >> Jimmy: HE'S SUPPOSEDLY TOO BUSY TO FACETIME INTO THE SHOW. 356 00:16:48,867 --> 00:16:49,401 >> YEAH. 357 00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:53,505 >> Jimmy: THERE HE IS PLAYING "WORDS WITH FRIENDS" ON HIS 358 00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:53,705 PHONE. 359 00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:57,075 >> THAT'S THE ‐‐ WHICH IS YOUR ‐‐ HILARIOUS, CONSIDERING 360 00:16:57,075 --> 00:16:58,443 WE KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS. 361 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:00,312 [ LAUGHTER ] 362 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:00,879 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 363 00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:03,715 >> WHAT'S FUNNY, HE'S A GUY ‐‐ 364 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:06,584 >> Jimmy: HOLD ON, ARE YOU EATING? 365 00:17:06,584 --> 00:17:08,987 >> YEAH, I'M EATING. YOU SAID ‐‐ YOU SENT OVER T 366 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:12,490 THIS ‐‐ THIS STEAK DINNER. 367 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:16,428 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE SENT A STEAK DINNER TO THANK YOU FOR COMING. 368 00:17:16,428 --> 00:17:18,163 >> DELICIOUS, MAN, UNBELIEVABLE. 369 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,999 >> Jimmy: I WAS KIND OF THINKING YOU WOULD EAT IT AFTER THE SHOW, 370 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,734 THOUGH. 371 00:17:22,734 --> 00:17:23,034 [ LAUGHTER ] 372 00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:26,004 >> NOBODY TELLS ME WHEN TO EAT A STEAK DINNER. 373 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:29,407 NOBODY TELLS ME WHEN TO EAT, YOU KNOW? 374 00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:29,708 [ LAUGHTER ] 375 00:17:29,708 --> 00:17:31,176 SO JASON. SO HERE'S THIS GUY. 376 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,010 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 377 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,880 >> HE'S SITTING IN THERE, HE'S IN ATLANTA, HE'S IN HIS PUFFER 378 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,683 JACKET LIKE AN ACTOR, HE'S SITTING ON HIS CHAIR, HE'S 379 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:43,288 TEXTING AWAY, HE'S PLAYING HIS LITTLE GAMES OR WHATEVER. 380 00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:47,692 THE GUYS LIKE YOU AND ME, WE'RE HERE IN THE TRENCHES WORKING. 381 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,227 >> Jimmy: WORKING. JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE. 382 00:17:49,227 --> 00:17:50,795 >> TRYING TO STAY ALIVE DOING IT. 383 00:17:50,795 --> 00:17:52,430 >> Jimmy: IS THAT MICROPHONE HOOKED UP TO ANYTHING? 384 00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:53,031 OR IS IT JUST A PROP? 385 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:57,936 [ LAUGHTER ] 386 00:17:57,936 --> 00:17:59,137 >> WHAT MICROPHONE? I DON'T SEE A MICROPHONE. 387 00:17:59,137 --> 00:17:59,771 [ LAUGHTER ] 388 00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:02,607 >> Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE. 389 00:18:02,607 --> 00:18:05,677 >> THAT'S HOW IN TUNE I AM, I DON'T EVEN SEE ‐‐ THE MICROPHONE 390 00:18:05,677 --> 00:18:09,914 IS JUST ‐‐ IT'S AN APPENDAGE, IT'S PART OF MY BODY ‐‐ BODY ‐‐ 391 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:10,315 BODY ‐‐ BODY ‐‐ 392 00:18:10,315 --> 00:18:11,716 [ LAUGHTER ] 393 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:17,589 [ APPLAUSE ] 394 00:18:17,589 --> 00:18:19,391 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ‐‐ I MEAN, YOU HAVE A 395 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:19,824 BEAUTIFUL VOICE ‐‐ 396 00:18:19,824 --> 00:18:23,495 [ LAUGHTER ] 397 00:18:23,495 --> 00:18:27,232 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT RECORDING AN ALBUM OF MUSIC? 398 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:31,870 >> WELL. IT'S FUNNY. AND THANK YOU. 399 00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:34,773 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE WELCOME, YEAH, YEAH. 400 00:18:34,773 --> 00:18:38,243 >> I ‐‐ I STILL ‐‐ AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AFTER SO MANY 401 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,978 MILLION, I STILL HAVE A TOUGH TIME TAKING COMPLIMENTS. 402 00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:45,917 [ LAUGHTER ] 403 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,053 CAN I ASK YOU ‐‐ I DO WANT TO GET INTO THE THING. 404 00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:50,188 DO YOU HAVE A SODA SPONSOR YET ON THE SHOW? 405 00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:53,591 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL, WE HAVE COCA‐COLA IN OUR GREEN ROOM. 406 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,093 >> YOU DO? 407 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,227 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 408 00:18:56,227 --> 00:19:00,065 >> SO THE ‐‐ COCA‐COLA, THEY MUST KNOW THE FOLKS OVER AT DIET 409 00:19:00,065 --> 00:19:00,565 COKE, STILL REFRESHING. 410 00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:04,769 [ LAUGHTER ] 411 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,604 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU DRINKING OUT OF YOUR SON ARCHIE'S CUP RIGHT 412 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,573 NOW? 413 00:19:08,573 --> 00:19:10,742 >> UH ‐‐ YEAH, ACTUALLY, I AM. 414 00:19:10,742 --> 00:19:11,042 [ LAUGHTER ] 415 00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:14,045 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU ARE. 416 00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:17,248 >> ONE OF THESE IS LINED SO THE ICE STAYS COLD FOR A LONG TIME, 417 00:19:17,248 --> 00:19:19,350 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND IT'S PLASTIC, SO IF YOU DROP 418 00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:19,717 IT, NO PROBLEM. 419 00:19:19,717 --> 00:19:23,021 [ LAUGHTER ] 420 00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:28,460 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A, WHAT, 8‐MONTH‐OLD, DANNY, NAMED AFTER 421 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:28,960 THE RESTAURANT CHAIN? 422 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,194 >> YES. 423 00:19:29,194 --> 00:19:32,430 [ LAUGHTER ] 424 00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:35,834 >> Jimmy: I KNOW HE'S STILL A BABY, BUT HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANY 425 00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:38,470 INDICATION WHETHER HE HAS YOUR VOICE? 426 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:42,574 HE HAS THE RICH, DULCET TONES, BUT BABY VERSION? 427 00:19:42,574 --> 00:19:46,878 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, JIMMY? 428 00:19:46,878 --> 00:19:47,278 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH? 429 00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:48,113 >> THIS MEAT IS COOKED SO PERFECTLY. 430 00:19:48,113 --> 00:19:55,019 [ LAUGHTER ] 431 00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,187 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER. 432 00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:59,357 >> NO, I'M GOING TO ANSWER THAT. THE OTHER THING YOU MADE ME 433 00:19:59,357 --> 00:20:03,695 THINK OF. YOU KNOW ONE OF THE GREATEST‐EVER EATING OF A PIECE 434 00:20:03,695 --> 00:20:06,998 OF STEAK ON FILM, REMEMBER "THE MATRIX"? 435 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,833 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH. 436 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:13,438 >> I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, I DON'T CARE, THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE 437 00:20:13,438 --> 00:20:15,140 MOMENT. IT'S NEITHER HERE FOR THERE. 438 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,609 >> Jimmy: I THINK YOU'RE GIVING HIM A RUN FOR HIS MONEY RIGHT 439 00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:17,809 NOW. 440 00:20:17,809 --> 00:20:21,012 >> I LOVE JOEY. 441 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,014 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU BACK, LIKE ARE YOU BACK ON SET? 442 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,084 ARE YOU SHOOTING ANY MOVIES OR TV SHOWS RIGHT NOW? 443 00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:30,421 >> I'M ABOUT TO GO TO WORK BACK TO BACK TO BACK FOR KIND OF THE 444 00:20:30,421 --> 00:20:33,558 REST OF THE YEAR. I'M ABOUT TO START BACK ON "THE 445 00:20:33,558 --> 00:20:37,061 LEGO MASTERS" WHICH IS A SHOW I HOST OVER ON A DIFFERENT NETWORK. 446 00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,062 >> Jimmy: FOX, RIGHT, YEAH. 447 00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:40,698 >> OVER ON FOX. IT'S A SHOW A LOT OF FAMILY AND 448 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:41,065 PEOPLE LOVE. 449 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,201 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. YEAH, ONE OF THE GUYS IN THE 450 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:43,535 ROOM CLAPPED. 451 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,604 [ LAUGHTER ] 452 00:20:46,604 --> 00:20:48,439 >> THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. I THOUGHT I HEARD ‐‐ 453 00:20:48,439 --> 00:20:52,076 >> Jimmy: HE'S GOT A FAMILY. 454 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:52,377 [ LAUGHTER ] 455 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,379 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN ALWAYS ‐‐ I CAN ALWAYS 456 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,380 SNIFF OUT ONE CLAP, NO PROBLEM. 457 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,317 [ LAUGHTER ] 458 00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:04,222 AND SO I GO ‐‐ I GO ‐‐ I'M GOING TO DO THAT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 459 00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,724 I'M NOT, LIKE ‐‐ I GUESS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, BUT AT 460 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:12,130 THE SAME TIME ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 461 00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:14,899 GET BACK OUT IN THE WORLD, I HAD OPPORTUNITY TO GO OUT FOR ‐‐ TO 462 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,669 GET A PIZZA WITH A COUPLE OF GUYS LAST NIGHT, A COUPLE OF 463 00:21:17,669 --> 00:21:18,169 PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW. 464 00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:18,803 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 465 00:21:18,803 --> 00:21:21,472 >> THEY SAID, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THIS RESTAURANT, MEET US IN 466 00:21:21,472 --> 00:21:24,943 THE BACK, IT'S OUTSIDE, WE'RE PARKED AROUND THE SIDE, YOU CAN 467 00:21:24,943 --> 00:21:26,678 SIT OUTSIDE. I SAID, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO 468 00:21:26,678 --> 00:21:29,314 TO A RESTAURANT, I'LL MEET YOU GUYS IN THE PARK, SMOKE A CIGAR 469 00:21:29,314 --> 00:21:32,884 LATER, WHATEVER. I DON'T WANT TO ‐‐ EXCUSE ME, 470 00:21:32,884 --> 00:21:33,051 MAN. 471 00:21:33,051 --> 00:21:37,188 [ LAUGHTER ] 472 00:21:37,188 --> 00:21:41,559 I DON'T WANT TO, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO 473 00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:42,994 RESTAURANTS. MAINLY IT'S BECAUSE ‐‐ HAVE YOU 474 00:21:42,994 --> 00:21:46,064 HEARD OTHER PEOPLE LATELY? HAVE YOU HEARD? 475 00:21:46,064 --> 00:21:50,802 WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT? PEOPLE ARE JUST ‐‐ NO. 476 00:21:50,802 --> 00:21:51,102 NO, THANKS. 477 00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,004 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE THE WORST. 478 00:21:53,004 --> 00:21:54,072 >> PEOPLE ARE THE WORST. 479 00:21:54,072 --> 00:21:56,274 >> Jimmy: CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT GOING BACK TO 480 00:21:56,274 --> 00:21:59,277 WORK? THIS IS KIND OF A SERIOUS QUESTION. HERE IT IS. 481 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,713 >> ALL RIGHT. BY THE WAY, JIMMY. 482 00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:02,247 >> Jimmy: YEAH? 483 00:22:02,247 --> 00:22:04,249 >> I'VE NEVER SAID THIS TO YOU BEFORE. 484 00:22:04,249 --> 00:22:06,951 WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS A LONG TIME. I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS 485 00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,387 OPPORTUNITY AND I WANT YOU TO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANYTHING YOU 486 00:22:09,387 --> 00:22:09,587 WANT. 487 00:22:09,587 --> 00:22:12,857 [ LAUGHTER ] 488 00:22:12,857 --> 00:22:17,829 >> Jimmy: WELL ‐‐ I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU ‐‐ WELL, NOW I FEEL LIKE 489 00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:21,299 I SHOULD ACTUALLY ‐‐ WHAT IS IT LIKE TO MAKE LOVE TO A WILL 490 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,133 ARNETT? WHAT IS YOUR APPROACH? 491 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:25,036 [ LAUGHTER ] 492 00:22:25,036 --> 00:22:26,471 >> YOU KNOW ‐‐ 493 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:30,275 [ LAUGHTER ] 494 00:22:30,275 --> 00:22:33,678 >> Jimmy: IS THAT BACON? 495 00:22:33,678 --> 00:22:40,118 >> I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS BACON. 496 00:22:40,118 --> 00:22:44,188 >> Jimmy: THAT IS GOOD. 497 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:49,894 >> DO YOU WANT TAL IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, GO AHEAD, 498 00:22:49,894 --> 00:22:51,462 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THIS. 499 00:22:51,462 --> 00:22:51,763 [ LAUGHTER ] 500 00:22:51,763 --> 00:22:54,198 >> Jimmy: SPOKEN BY A CANADIAN. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH WILL 501 00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:54,532 ARNETT! 502 00:22:54,532 --> 00:22:57,001 >> Dicky: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT TO YOU 503 00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,070 BY TUBI. THE STREAMING SERVICE THAT 504 00:22:59,070 --> 00:23:05,745 BRINGS YOU YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES AND SHOWS FOR FREE. 505 00:23:05,745 --> 00:23:06,135 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 506 00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:12,684 ♪ 507 00:23:12,684 --> 00:23:16,587 >> Jimmy: ROSAMUND PIKE AND MUSIC FROM NAV ARE COMING UP. 508 00:23:16,587 --> 00:23:20,358 WILL ARNETT IS WITH US. HE'S ENJOYING A STEAK, HE'S IN 509 00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:25,496 HIS HOME STUDIO, HE'S SHARING TALES OF HIS WORK ON THE PODCAST 510 00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:28,299 "SMARTLESS" WITH JASON BATEMAN AND SEAN HAYES. 511 00:23:28,299 --> 00:23:31,269 IT'S A SHAME JASON STILL GETS PLUGS FOR THE SHOW EVEN THOUGH 512 00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:32,637 HE DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR THE INTERVIEW. 513 00:23:32,637 --> 00:23:35,707 >> IT IS A SHAME. BECAUSE THIS IS THE GUY, THIS IS 514 00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:38,242 THE GUY WHO'S, YOU KNOW, UNPROFESSIONAL. 515 00:23:38,242 --> 00:23:38,743 [ LAUGHTER ] 516 00:23:38,743 --> 00:23:39,444 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 517 00:23:39,444 --> 00:23:42,013 >> A BAD FRIEND TO BOTH OF US. 518 00:23:42,013 --> 00:23:44,849 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 519 00:23:44,849 --> 00:23:46,584 >> DOUBLE WHAMMY. 520 00:23:46,584 --> 00:23:49,721 >> Jimmy: YOU ‐‐ BY THE WAY, THE SHOW IS GREAT. 521 00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:52,890 THE PODCAST, THE CONCEIT OF THE SHOW IS VERY INTERESTING, IS ONE 522 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:56,461 OF THE THREE OF YOU WILL BOOK A GUEST AND NOT TELL THE OTHER TWO 523 00:23:56,461 --> 00:24:02,100 WHO THE GUEST IS. AND THEN THEY'RE SURPRISED WHEN 524 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:06,337 THEY HEAR THE VOICE OF THE PERSON YOU'RE INTERVIEWING. 525 00:24:06,337 --> 00:24:08,906 IT SAYS YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION IS UNSTABLE, WILL. 526 00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:09,207 [ LAUGHTER ] 527 00:24:09,207 --> 00:24:10,007 >> IS THAT TRUE? 528 00:24:10,007 --> 00:24:14,011 >> Jimmy: THERE'S A LITTLE MESSAGE ‐‐ BUT WE'LL MOVE PAST 529 00:24:14,011 --> 00:24:14,212 THAT. 530 00:24:14,212 --> 00:24:15,179 >> ONE SECOND, ONE SECOND, ONE SECOND. 531 00:24:15,179 --> 00:24:17,181 >> Jimmy: YES. 532 00:24:17,181 --> 00:24:18,116 >> STOP TWITCHING! 533 00:24:18,116 --> 00:24:23,421 [ LAUGHTER ] 534 00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:27,492 I TOLD YOU I'M DOING KIMMEL TONIGHT! 535 00:24:27,492 --> 00:24:29,894 >> Jimmy: THE BABY IS TWITCHING? 536 00:24:29,894 --> 00:24:31,362 >> WELL, HE'S 9 MONTHS. YOU KNOW. 537 00:24:31,362 --> 00:24:38,436 >> Jimmy: YEAH. SO WHAT I WANTED TO ASK IS, 538 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:40,638 FIRST OF ALL, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO BOOK THE SAME GUEST? 539 00:24:40,638 --> 00:24:43,474 BECAUSE YOU GUYS KNOW KIND OF ALL THE SAME PEOPLE. 540 00:24:43,474 --> 00:24:47,979 >> WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS ‐‐ SO YOU'RE ‐‐ WHEN YOU WERE BOOKED, 541 00:24:47,979 --> 00:24:49,847 I THINK IT WAS SEAN WHO BOOKED YOU, RIGHT? 542 00:24:49,847 --> 00:24:50,615 >> Jimmy: YES. 543 00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:54,685 >> AND SO JASON AND I WERE BOTH DOING THAT THING OF LIKE, OF 544 00:24:54,685 --> 00:24:57,088 COURSE THE FIRST PERSON ‐‐ WE'RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS. 545 00:24:57,088 --> 00:25:00,124 WE WERE LIKE, WHO'S GOING TO BOOK ‐‐ THEN SEAN BOOKED YOU. 546 00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:02,593 IT WAS A VERY AWKWARD MOMENT. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 547 00:25:02,593 --> 00:25:05,396 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT. AND THEN WHAT DID I DO WHEN I 548 00:25:05,396 --> 00:25:08,332 WAS BOOKED ON THE SHOW? I SHOWED UP ON IT, RIGHT? 549 00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:08,633 [ LAUGHTER ] 550 00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:10,435 I DIDN'T CANCEL. I SHOWED UP TO DO IT. 551 00:25:10,435 --> 00:25:15,673 >> YEAH. CAN I SAY? AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT FISHING 552 00:25:15,673 --> 00:25:17,542 FOR THIS. BUT THERE HAVE BEEN A MILLION 553 00:25:17,542 --> 00:25:20,311 TIMES WHERE I'VE HAD TO DO THINGS AND WHATEVER, I ASKED YOU 554 00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:22,814 TO DO STUFF, AND EVERY TIME, YOU'VE DONE IT. 555 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:23,815 EVERY TIME YOU'VE SHOWN UP. 556 00:25:23,815 --> 00:25:26,150 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A 557 00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:29,120 DEEP RESPECT FOR YOU, A RESPECT THAT IS NOT SHARED BY ALL OF OUR 558 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:29,520 FRIENDS, I GUESS. 559 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,589 [ LAUGHTER ] 560 00:25:31,589 --> 00:25:33,891 >> NO. CAN I ACTUALLY ‐‐ CAN I TELL YOU 561 00:25:33,891 --> 00:25:36,994 A TRUE STORY? THIS IS AN ACTUAL TRUE STORY. 562 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:37,462 >> Jimmy: YES. 563 00:25:37,462 --> 00:25:41,699 >> LAST WEEK I WAS PLAYING ‐‐ I WAS PLAYING GOLF, AND I HURT MY 564 00:25:41,699 --> 00:25:45,470 BACK A LITTLE BIT. I TWEAKED IT. AND, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T WANT TO 565 00:25:45,470 --> 00:25:47,905 GET INJURED. JASON HAD A BIG INJURY A FEW 566 00:25:47,905 --> 00:25:50,641 MONTHS AGO, AND I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM AS WELL. 567 00:25:50,641 --> 00:25:53,778 I TALKED ABOUT IT ON THE SHOW. I ALMOST DON'T WANT TO BRING IT 568 00:25:53,778 --> 00:25:55,446 UP BECAUSE ‐‐ I DON'T WANT TO RELIVE IT. 569 00:25:55,446 --> 00:25:58,749 BUT HE HURT HIS FINGER TRYING TO GET HIS GOLF CLUBS OUT OF HIS 570 00:25:58,749 --> 00:25:58,950 TESLA. 571 00:25:58,950 --> 00:26:02,220 [ LAUGHTER ] 572 00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:04,922 >> Jimmy: OH, WHICH FINGER? WHICH FINGER DID HE HURT? 573 00:26:04,922 --> 00:26:08,125 >> THE ONE HE USES THE MOST. THAT THE ONE. 574 00:26:08,125 --> 00:26:11,195 [ LAUGHTER ] 575 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:15,800 ONLY WHEN HE DRIVES. HE ONLY USES THAT WHEN HE DRIVES. 576 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,904 SO I'M AT HOME. AND THIS IS TRUE. AND HE KNEW, BECAUSE HE WAS 577 00:26:19,904 --> 00:26:23,207 PLAYING A COUPLE OF GROUPS AHEAD OF ME. 578 00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:27,545 AND THEN HE SAID, HOW'S YOUR BACK? AND I SAID, IT'S NOT GREAT. 579 00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,714 AND I WAS LAID UP. ALL OF A SUDDEN IN MY HOUSE, 580 00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:31,816 KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I LOOK AT THE THING. 581 00:26:31,816 --> 00:26:35,686 AND BATEMAN APPEARED. AND HE HAD A COUPLE OF ICY HOT 582 00:26:35,686 --> 00:26:36,621 PATCHES FOR MY BACK. 583 00:26:36,621 --> 00:26:37,722 >> Jimmy: OH, HE DID? 584 00:26:37,722 --> 00:26:40,258 >> YES, HE DID. I GOT TO GIVE HIM THAT CREDIT, 585 00:26:40,258 --> 00:26:42,360 HE JUST SHOWED UP. AND YOU KNOW JASON, HE DOESN'T 586 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:42,860 DO ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. 587 00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:44,829 [ LAUGHTER ] 588 00:26:44,829 --> 00:26:48,366 [ APPLAUSE ] 589 00:26:48,366 --> 00:26:51,235 >> Jimmy: DID HE ASK YOU FOR ANYTHING AFTER HE GAVE YOU THE 590 00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:51,936 ICY PACKS? 591 00:26:51,936 --> 00:26:54,372 >> HE SAID, LOOK, I CAN'T MAKE KIMMEL ON WEDNESDAY. 592 00:26:54,372 --> 00:26:58,309 [ LAUGHTER ] 593 00:26:58,309 --> 00:27:03,748 >> Jimmy: HE KNEW EVEN THEN! LET'S LOOK AT THIS BILLBOARD. 594 00:27:03,748 --> 00:27:07,718 THIS IS IN TORONTO, YOUR HOMETOWN. THIS IS A GIANT DIGITAL 595 00:27:07,718 --> 00:27:09,287 BILLBOARD. IT'S GOT ALL YOUR NAMES AND ALL 596 00:27:09,287 --> 00:27:11,989 YOUR FACES ON IT. DID ANY OF YOUR FAMILY SPOT THIS 597 00:27:11,989 --> 00:27:15,293 AND NOT KNOW IT WAS HAPPENING? 598 00:27:15,293 --> 00:27:15,493 >> NO. 599 00:27:15,493 --> 00:27:21,599 [ LAUGHTER ] 600 00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:24,535 I GOT TO SAY THIS. I WANT TO SAY THIS. 601 00:27:24,535 --> 00:27:25,937 I WANT TO SAY THIS. 602 00:27:25,937 --> 00:27:26,837 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 603 00:27:26,837 --> 00:27:30,942 >> THE WEDGE SALAD, IT NEEDS TO BE ADVERTISED AS ONE OF THE 604 00:27:30,942 --> 00:27:31,909 GREAT INVENTIONS. 605 00:27:31,909 --> 00:27:34,879 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S UNDERRATED. 606 00:27:34,879 --> 00:27:36,080 >> IT IS WAY UNDERRATED. 607 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,082 >> Jimmy: BACK TO THIS BILLBOARD. 608 00:27:38,082 --> 00:27:40,985 I PUT UP A QUESTION ABOUT IT. THIS IS KIND OF LIKE YOUR LOGO. 609 00:27:40,985 --> 00:27:45,222 LET'S ZOOM IN ON THAT, CAN WE? NOW THESE HEAD SHOTS, I ASSUME 610 00:27:45,222 --> 00:27:47,792 YOU EACH APPROVED THE HEAD SHOT INDIVIDUALLY, YES? 611 00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:54,198 >> SURE. DO YOU WANT ANOTHER TRUTH? 612 00:27:54,198 --> 00:27:58,769 THIS IS HOW LOW FIRE THE SHOW IS. THESE ARE ALL SELFIES WE TOOK, 613 00:27:58,769 --> 00:28:00,938 WE JUST TOOK THEM OF OURSELVES. 614 00:28:00,938 --> 00:28:01,973 >> Jimmy: YOU TOOK THOSE OF YOURSELVES? 615 00:28:01,973 --> 00:28:03,240 >> NOT ALL OF THEM. 616 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,611 >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT KIND OF A ‐‐ I DON'T WANT TO CALL IT A 617 00:28:06,611 --> 00:28:09,714 SMIRK. THERE'S A SEXY, TOUSLE‐HAIRED 618 00:28:09,714 --> 00:28:12,950 THING GOING. SEAN'S MAKING A STATEMENT, "I'M 619 00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:16,721 THE SMART ONE" WITH THE GLASSES. BATEMAN, IT LOOKS LIKE A HEAD 620 00:28:16,721 --> 00:28:18,990 SHOT FROM THE HOGAN FAMILY. 621 00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:19,290 [ LAUGHTER ] 622 00:28:19,290 --> 00:28:21,459 >> BATEMAN'S LOOKS LIKE HE JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS ALIVE. 623 00:28:21,459 --> 00:28:25,162 [ LAUGHTER ] 624 00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:25,563 KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 625 00:28:25,563 --> 00:28:28,099 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO BE OKAY! 626 00:28:28,099 --> 00:28:31,802 >> NO, IT'S LIKE, YEAH, HI! BUT YOU KNOW, THE THING WAS, 627 00:28:31,802 --> 00:28:36,874 THEY GAVE THUS ‐‐ IT'S NICE TO HAVE, THEY PUT THIS BIG 628 00:28:36,874 --> 00:28:39,877 BILLBOARD UP IN MY HOMETOWN OF TORONTO. 629 00:28:39,877 --> 00:28:42,213 THEY SAID, ISN'T THIS GREAT? IT TURNS OUT IT IS GREAT, BUT 630 00:28:42,213 --> 00:28:46,083 IT'S ALSO LIKE THE TREE FALLING IN THE FOREST WHEN NOBODY'S 631 00:28:46,083 --> 00:28:48,252 THERE OF BILLBOARDS. BECAUSE IT HAPPENED IN THE 632 00:28:48,252 --> 00:28:49,320 MIDDLE OF A LOCKDOWN. 633 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,688 >> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH. 634 00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:51,555 >> GREAT, YOU KNOW? 635 00:28:51,555 --> 00:28:54,125 >> Jimmy: YEAH, BILLBOARDS ARE CHEAP RIGHT NOW, I HAVE A 636 00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:54,392 FEELING. 637 00:28:54,392 --> 00:28:56,360 >> YEAH, NO KIDDING. 638 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,196 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD BILLIE EILISH AND FINNEAS ON THE SHOW THIS 639 00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:01,699 WEEK. THAT'S A GOOD BOOK. WHO BOOKED THAT ONE? 640 00:29:01,699 --> 00:29:03,567 >> THAT WAS ‐‐ THAT CAME THROUGH BATEMAN. 641 00:29:03,567 --> 00:29:05,636 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY, OKAY. 642 00:29:05,636 --> 00:29:09,440 >> I MEAN ‐‐ BY THE WAY, I MEAN ‐‐ IT WAS HIS IDEA. 643 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:09,940 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 644 00:29:09,940 --> 00:29:10,741 >> YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 645 00:29:10,741 --> 00:29:13,577 [ LAUGHTER ] 646 00:29:13,577 --> 00:29:15,012 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD PAUL McCARTNEY ON THE SHOW, WHICH WAS 647 00:29:15,012 --> 00:29:17,615 UNBELIEVABLE. 648 00:29:17,615 --> 00:29:20,451 >> PAUL McCARTNEY ‐‐ THAT WAS REALLY, REALLY COOL. 649 00:29:20,451 --> 00:29:23,454 WHAT WAS COOL ABOUT IT ‐‐ I KNOW YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME. 650 00:29:23,454 --> 00:29:26,190 YOU'VE INTERVIEWED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AND PRESIDENTS AND A 651 00:29:26,190 --> 00:29:34,465 FEW ‐‐ WHATEVER, ALL SORTS OF 652 00:29:34,465 --> 00:29:36,467 DIGNIT DIGNITARIES, WHICH AS TERM THAT 653 00:29:36,467 --> 00:29:40,504 DOESN'T GET USED A LOT THESE DAYS. SO YOU'RE USED TO IT. 654 00:29:40,504 --> 00:29:45,609 BUT I GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO ASK PAUL McCARTNEY, LIKE, YOUR 655 00:29:45,609 --> 00:29:49,714 MUSIC, THE BEATLES, HAS BEEN THE PART OF SUCH A HUGE PART OF SO 656 00:29:49,714 --> 00:29:54,218 MANY MILLIONS OF LIVES. LIKE, YOUR MUSIC IS PLAYED AT 657 00:29:54,218 --> 00:29:59,123 WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS AND, YOU KNOW, FIRST KISSES. 658 00:29:59,123 --> 00:30:02,593 AND LIKE HOW INSANE IS THAT? DOES THAT ‐‐ DOES THAT RESONATE 659 00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:06,731 WITH YOU? AND HIS ANSWER WAS PRETTY GOOD, 660 00:30:06,731 --> 00:30:09,166 BUT IT WASN'T AS GOOD AS I WANTED IT TO BE. 661 00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:09,467 [ LAUGHTER ] 662 00:30:09,467 --> 00:30:12,803 >> Jimmy: IT WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE QUESTION? ALL RIGHT. 663 00:30:12,803 --> 00:30:14,905 WILL ARNETT. LISTEN TO HIS PODCAST, IT'S 664 00:30:14,905 --> 00:30:18,909 CALLED "SMARTLESS." IT'S AVAILABLE MONDAYS WHEREVER 665 00:30:18,909 --> 00:30:20,544 PODCASTS ARE SOLD. 666 00:30:20,544 --> 00:30:22,980 >> I LOVE PAUL McCARTNEY. 667 00:30:22,980 --> 00:30:25,015 >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH ROSAMUND MIKE! 668 00:30:34,925 --> 00:30:37,928 >> Jimmy: HI, AND WE ARE BACK. MUSIC FROM NAV IS ON THE WAY. 669 00:30:37,928 --> 00:30:39,997 OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN OSCAR‐NOMINATED, EMMY‐WINNING 670 00:30:39,997 --> 00:30:41,365 ACTRESS WHO WENT FROM BOND GIRL TO "GONE GIRL" TO GOLDEN GLOBE 671 00:30:41,365 --> 00:30:44,135 NOMINEE FOR HER ROLE IN THE NEW MOVIE "I CARE A LOT." 672 00:30:44,135 --> 00:30:49,039 IT PREMIERES FRIDAY ON NETFLIX, SAY HELLO TO ROSAMUND PIKE. 673 00:30:49,039 --> 00:30:49,740 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 674 00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:51,208 HELLO, ROSAMUND, HOW ARE YOU? 675 00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:53,644 >> HI, JIMMY. JIMMY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 676 00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:55,646 >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR JOINING US. 677 00:30:55,646 --> 00:30:57,915 >> IT WAS NICE TO SEE MY WIFE ON THE SHOW LAST NIGHT. 678 00:30:57,915 --> 00:31:00,050 >> Jimmy: YES, SHE WAS HERE, SHE WAS HERE IN PERSON. 679 00:31:00,050 --> 00:31:01,152 YOU'RE IN PRAGUE, RIGHT? 680 00:31:01,152 --> 00:31:04,622 >> I'M IN PRAGUE, YEAH, WHERE I'VE BEEN SINCE SEPTEMBER 2019. 681 00:31:04,622 --> 00:31:06,390 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU BEING HELD HOSTAGE IN PRAGUE? 682 00:31:06,390 --> 00:31:09,059 WHAT KIND OF A ROOM IS THAT YOU'RE IN? 683 00:31:09,059 --> 00:31:09,360 [ LAUGHTER ] 684 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,197 >> I KNOW, IT'S NOT A SAUNA, LET ME REASSURE YOU, OTHERWISE I'D 685 00:31:13,197 --> 00:31:16,867 BE VERY INAPPROPRIATELY DRESSED. WHICH MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK 686 00:31:16,867 --> 00:31:21,272 I AM IN A SAUNA, FULLY DRESSED. IT'S A KIND OF BUNKER, IT IS A 687 00:31:21,272 --> 00:31:24,475 SORT OF BUNKER. A PANDEMIC GOING ON, SO. 688 00:31:24,475 --> 00:31:27,178 >> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN PRAGUE? 689 00:31:27,178 --> 00:31:28,579 >> 18 MONTHS, I THINK. 690 00:31:28,579 --> 00:31:31,816 >> Jimmy: 18 MONTHS, WOW. SO YOUR FAMILY IS THERE WITH YOU? 691 00:31:31,816 --> 00:31:35,052 >> YEAH, I MOVED EVERYONE. WE ALL CAME. 692 00:31:35,052 --> 00:31:36,854 >> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS? 693 00:31:36,854 --> 00:31:38,522 >> I'VE GOT AN 8‐YEAR‐OLD AND 6‐YEAR‐OLD. 694 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:40,891 >> Jimmy: ARE THEY ENJOYING PRAGUE? 695 00:31:40,891 --> 00:31:43,394 >> YES, THEY ARE. YOU KNOW, IT'S A CITY OF CULTURE 696 00:31:43,394 --> 00:31:48,132 AND A CITY OF OPPORTUNITY, AND YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT ‐‐ WE'RE IN 697 00:31:48,132 --> 00:31:50,568 CENTRAL EUROPE, IT'S PERFECT FOR ROAD TRIPS. 698 00:31:50,568 --> 00:31:51,302 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 699 00:31:51,302 --> 00:31:55,706 >> YOU KNOW, WE'VE DONE SOME KIND OF INTERESTING EXPLORATORY 700 00:31:55,706 --> 00:31:56,507 VENTURES IN THE VICINITY. 701 00:31:56,507 --> 00:31:59,443 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S INTERESTING TO DO AROUND THERE? 702 00:31:59,443 --> 00:32:02,680 >> WELL, I MEAN, THERE'S THE REGULAR USUAL SUSPECTS LIKE 703 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,784 SKATEBOARDING AND BIKING AND SLEDGING, NOW THAT IT'S SNOWED. 704 00:32:06,784 --> 00:32:09,987 ACTUALLY, LAST SUMMER, I TOOK THEM ON WHAT I HAVE HEARD IS A 705 00:32:09,987 --> 00:32:15,693 VERY WHOLESOME AND TRADITIONAL CZECH ACTIVITY TO DO WITH KIDS, 706 00:32:15,693 --> 00:32:16,126 TO GO RIVER RAFTING. 707 00:32:16,126 --> 00:32:16,493 >> Jimmy: OH. 708 00:32:16,493 --> 00:32:20,197 >> THERE'S A LOVELY TOWN, WE WENT, AND IT'S THIS BEAUTIFUL 709 00:32:20,197 --> 00:32:23,667 STRETCH OF RIVER, THERE ARE RAPIDS AND WEIRS. 710 00:32:23,667 --> 00:32:29,340 AND I SORT OF TOOK MY TWO BOYS OUT ON THIS INFLATABLE RAFT. 711 00:32:29,340 --> 00:32:32,676 AND IT WAS IDYLLIC. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WATER RATS 712 00:32:32,676 --> 00:32:36,313 AND KINGFISHERS AND SNAKES. BUT WHAT I UNDERESTIMATED WAS 713 00:32:36,313 --> 00:32:41,452 THE FACT THAT IT'S ALSO A VERY POPULAR CZECH PASTIME FOR STAG 714 00:32:41,452 --> 00:32:43,287 DOs AND HEN NIGHTS OR HEN DAY. 715 00:32:43,287 --> 00:32:46,290 >> OH, WE CALL THEM BACHELORETTE, BACHELOR PARTY, 716 00:32:46,290 --> 00:32:46,490 YEAH. 717 00:32:46,490 --> 00:32:50,895 >> BACHELORETTE, BACHELOR PARTY. BOOZE CRUISE. 718 00:32:50,895 --> 00:32:52,429 WHATEVER LABEL YOU PUT ON IT. 719 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:54,198 >> Jimmy: DID THE KIDS LIKE THAT? 720 00:32:54,198 --> 00:32:55,833 >> THEY LOVED IT, JIMMY. 721 00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:56,600 [ LAUGHTER ] 722 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,871 WE WERE TRAVELING ALONG, WE CAME ACROSS A GROUP OF SCANTILY CLAD 723 00:33:00,871 --> 00:33:03,841 GIRLS WEARING ‐‐ I SOUND LIKE A PRUDE, I'M NOT A PRUDE AS YOU 724 00:33:03,841 --> 00:33:11,248 KNOW FROM MY FILMS. BUT I A GROUP OF WOMEN WITH 725 00:33:11,248 --> 00:33:14,818 BIKINIS AND A VERY LARGE, INFLATABLE MAN WITH A HUGE 726 00:33:14,818 --> 00:33:15,085 ERECTION. 727 00:33:15,085 --> 00:33:15,452 >> Jimmy: OH! 728 00:33:15,452 --> 00:33:18,522 >> TRAILING BEHIND THEM IN THE BOAT. MY KIDS WERE FASCINATED. 729 00:33:18,522 --> 00:33:19,390 [ LAUGHTER ] 730 00:33:19,390 --> 00:33:22,192 THEN THIS MAN WAS BEING LOBBED THROUGH THE AIR AND SENT ON TO 731 00:33:22,192 --> 00:33:24,995 THE NEIGHBORING BOAT, WHICH WAS FULL OF ‐‐ I MEAN, I PROMISE 732 00:33:24,995 --> 00:33:28,499 YOU, I'VE NEVER SEEN DRUNKER HUMAN BEINGS THAN I SAW IN THIS 733 00:33:28,499 --> 00:33:34,438 BOAT ‐‐ MEN WHO STOOD UP AND IMMEDIATELY FELL FLAT. 734 00:33:34,438 --> 00:33:38,742 THEN ONE WHO STUMBLES OVER THE EDGE, GOT COMPLETELY DRENCHED IN 735 00:33:38,742 --> 00:33:43,447 MUD, AND THEN CLAMBERED BACK INTO THE BOAT, SPLATTERING ALL 736 00:33:43,447 --> 00:33:47,117 THE GIRLS WITH MUD. MY KIDS HAVE NEVER STOPPED 737 00:33:47,117 --> 00:33:48,452 ACTING DRUNK EVER SINCE. 738 00:33:48,452 --> 00:33:48,786 [ LAUGHTER ] 739 00:33:48,786 --> 00:33:50,688 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE EMULATING THIS NOW? 740 00:33:50,688 --> 00:33:53,991 >> THEY'RE EMULATING THIS. THIS IS CLEARLY WHAT ADULTS DO, 741 00:33:53,991 --> 00:33:56,060 THIS IS OUR FUTURE, WE'D BETTER START. 742 00:33:56,060 --> 00:33:58,362 THEY'RE RIGHT, IT'S VERY FUNNY, VERY FUNNY. 743 00:33:58,362 --> 00:34:01,765 >> Jimmy: YOUR KIDS DID SOMETHING, THEY POSTED THIS ON 744 00:34:01,765 --> 00:34:04,501 INSTAGRAM. THIS IS CALLED "TOOTHPASTING." 745 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:05,569 THIS IS A CHART. 746 00:34:05,569 --> 00:34:05,970 >> YES. 747 00:34:05,970 --> 00:34:07,938 >> Jimmy: YOUR CHILDREN REVIEWED VARIOUS FLAVORS OF TOOTHPASTE. 748 00:34:07,938 --> 00:34:10,708 [ LAUGHTER ] 749 00:34:10,708 --> 00:34:15,646 >> THEY DID. BECAUSE THERE COMES A POINT IN 750 00:34:15,646 --> 00:34:18,549 YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE NEWS IT'S NOT ALL 751 00:34:18,549 --> 00:34:21,218 ABOUT BUBBLE GUM AND STRAWBERRY FLAVOR, RIGHT? 752 00:34:21,218 --> 00:34:24,688 THERE'S THIS AWFUL TRANSITION WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE FROM THE SWEET 753 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:29,259 WORLD OF CHILDHOOD INTO THE REALITY OF ADULTHOOD, WHICH IS 754 00:34:29,259 --> 00:34:30,227 MENTHOL AND FLUORIDE. 755 00:34:30,227 --> 00:34:32,363 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 756 00:34:32,363 --> 00:34:35,699 >> STERN, STERN DENTAL STUFF. SO I THOUGHT, WE NEED TO KIND 757 00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:40,237 OF ‐‐ I WAS A BIT LATE, I THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT AROUND 758 00:34:40,237 --> 00:34:41,939 AGE 6 AND I'VE GOT AN 8‐YEAR‐OLD. 759 00:34:41,939 --> 00:34:43,841 >> Jimmy: THESE ARE THE REVIEWS YOUR CHILDREN GAVE. 760 00:34:43,841 --> 00:34:46,577 I'M GOING TO HIGHLIGHT SOME OF THEM. 761 00:34:46,577 --> 00:34:49,646 THIS TOOTHPASTE CALLED SIGNAL, NOT SPICY, VERY CALM. OKAY. 762 00:34:49,646 --> 00:34:54,752 THIS ONE IS CALLED ‐‐ OH, THIS IS COLGATE TRIPLE FRESH ACTION. 763 00:34:54,752 --> 00:34:58,822 LOVELY, SPAGHETTI MINTY BREATH. 764 00:34:58,822 --> 00:34:59,189 [ LAUGHTER ] 765 00:34:59,189 --> 00:35:03,027 THIS IS ODOL COOL FRESH. WE DON'T HAVE THAT ONE OUT HERE. 766 00:35:03,027 --> 00:35:06,263 IT LOOKS PRETTY BUT THE TASTE IS HORRIBLE, TASTES LIKE TOXIC 767 00:35:06,263 --> 00:35:06,463 FARTS. 768 00:35:06,463 --> 00:35:09,500 [ LAUGHTER ] 769 00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:09,967 [ APPLAUSE ] 770 00:35:09,967 --> 00:35:14,972 NEXT ONE, THE TEXTURE TASTES LIKE I'M EATING PAINT, DONE. 771 00:35:14,972 --> 00:35:18,375 OKAY. I'M CURIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE. ONE OF YOUR KIDS WROTE, IT 772 00:35:18,375 --> 00:35:23,947 TASTES LIKE I'M BITING OFF A BULL'S PEANUTS, BUBBLY! 773 00:35:23,947 --> 00:35:27,117 WAS PEANUTS THE WORD? 774 00:35:27,117 --> 00:35:31,855 >> PEANUTS IS THE SAME WORD THE INFLATABLE MAN HAD. 775 00:35:31,855 --> 00:35:35,426 [ LAUGHTER ] 776 00:35:35,426 --> 00:35:40,831 >> Jimmy: FINALLY, LIPSAN IT, IT TASTES LIKE I'M EATING A 777 00:35:40,831 --> 00:35:42,633 PIGEON'S BUTTOCKS. 778 00:35:42,633 --> 00:35:42,933 [ LAUGHTER ] 779 00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:45,836 >> IT'S NICE THAT CHILDREN DON'T FEEL ‐‐ THEY DON'T NECESSARILY 780 00:35:45,836 --> 00:35:50,507 KNOW WHAT AN ADJECTIVE HAS TO BE. 781 00:35:50,507 --> 00:35:54,078 WHY CAN'T TOOTHPASTE BE STRETCHY OR BE LIKE SPAGHETTI? 782 00:35:54,078 --> 00:35:55,512 WE HAMPER THEM ALL THE TIME. 783 00:35:55,512 --> 00:35:58,449 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT, THEY WERE VERY DESCRIPTIVE. 784 00:35:58,449 --> 00:36:00,784 I THINK I UNDERSTAND, BASED ON THAT CHART, WHICH ONE I WOULD 785 00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:01,185 NOT TRY, FOR SURE. 786 00:36:01,185 --> 00:36:03,220 [ LAUGHTER ] 787 00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:08,392 >> WHICH ONE WOULD YOU GO FOR? THERE WAS ONE I THINK THEY SAID 788 00:36:08,392 --> 00:36:10,227 100% I'M DONE, I'M USING THIS ONE. 789 00:36:10,227 --> 00:36:13,397 >> Jimmy: I THINK THEY SAID COLGATE WAS THE ONE, YEAH. 790 00:36:13,397 --> 00:36:14,798 COLGATE WAS THE ONE. 791 00:36:14,798 --> 00:36:19,069 >> AND IT'S CHEAP, SO YOU KNOW, I'M PRICE SENSITIVE, IT'S 792 00:36:19,069 --> 00:36:19,837 PERFECT FOR ME. 793 00:36:19,837 --> 00:36:23,107 >> Jimmy: YOU WERE NOMINATED FOR GOLDEN GLOBE FOR BEST ACTRESS IN 794 00:36:23,107 --> 00:36:26,677 A COMEDY OR MUSICAL. THIS IS A COMEDY BUT IT'S A VERY 795 00:36:26,677 --> 00:36:28,178 DARK COMEDY. ALSO, THERE'S A LOT OF ACTION IN 796 00:36:28,178 --> 00:36:30,814 THIS FILM. 797 00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:31,882 >> THERE IS, THERE IS. 798 00:36:31,882 --> 00:36:37,488 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE ‐‐ YOU GO OVER A BRIDGE KIND OF DEAL OR RAVINE 799 00:36:37,488 --> 00:36:41,725 INTO A BODY OF WATER, AND THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT WAS FUN. 800 00:36:41,725 --> 00:36:44,361 BECAUSE THAT DID LOOK LIKE IT WAS ‐‐ WAS THAT YOU IN THE WATER? 801 00:36:44,361 --> 00:36:48,332 >> THAT WAS ME IN THE WATER. WE ACTUALLY ‐‐ IT WAS IN A CAR. 802 00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:52,736 THE CAR WENT OVER INTO THE ‐‐ OVER THE CLIFF IN BOSTON, 803 00:36:52,736 --> 00:36:54,771 MASSACHUSETTS. I ALSO SPRANG FROM THE WATER IN 804 00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:58,408 BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS. THE WATER TANK STUFF WAS FILMED 805 00:36:58,408 --> 00:36:59,009 IN LONDON. 806 00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:00,377 >> Jimmy: OH. OH, WOW. 807 00:37:00,377 --> 00:37:05,883 >> I HAD TWO DAYS, TWO DAYS OF FILMING IN A CAR, UNDERWATER, 808 00:37:05,883 --> 00:37:08,552 WHERE IT'S ALL FOR REAL. MY CHARACTER IS FIGHTING FOR HER 809 00:37:08,552 --> 00:37:10,721 LIFE AND TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM A SINKING CAR. 810 00:37:10,721 --> 00:37:12,923 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. 811 00:37:12,923 --> 00:37:15,092 >> WHICH IS PROBABLY EVERYBODY'S WORST, WORST NIGHTMARE. 812 00:37:15,092 --> 00:37:15,859 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THEM. 813 00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:23,033 [ LAUGHTER ] 814 00:37:23,033 --> 00:37:26,937 >> ALSO ADD TO THAT, YOU'VE ALSO BEEN DRUGGED AND GOT HALF A 815 00:37:26,937 --> 00:37:31,175 BOTTLE OF VODKA DOWN YOU. BACK ON THE RIVER, OBVIOUSLY. 816 00:37:31,175 --> 00:37:35,179 >> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S A GOOD MOVIE, IT'S CALLED "I CARE A 817 00:37:35,179 --> 00:37:37,247 LOT." IT PREMIERES FRIDAY ON NETFLIX. 818 00:37:37,247 --> 00:37:40,384 THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US. THANKS FOR STAYING UP SO LATE. 819 00:37:40,384 --> 00:37:44,688 THANK YOUR KIDS FOR ALL THE GREAT TOOTHPASTE REVIEWS. 820 00:37:44,688 --> 00:37:48,392 >> WELL, YEAH. I'M NOT AFFILIATED WITH ANY 821 00:37:48,392 --> 00:37:50,294 BRAND, BUT I'M AVAILABLE. 822 00:37:50,294 --> 00:37:50,627 [ LAUGHTER ] 823 00:37:50,627 --> 00:37:52,496 >> Jimmy: ROSAMUND PIKE, EVERYONE. BE BACK WITH NAV! 824 00:37:58,802 --> 00:37:59,303 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 825 00:37:59,303 --> 00:38:02,272 ♪ 826 00:38:02,272 --> 00:38:05,042 >> Jimmy: HIS MIXTAPE IS CALLED "EMERGENCY TSUNAMI." 827 00:38:05,042 --> 00:38:11,415 WITH HELP FROM GUNNA, 828 00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:17,454 PERFORMING "YOUNG WHEEZY," NAV! 829 00:38:17,454 --> 00:38:17,621 ♪ 830 00:38:17,621 --> 00:38:22,159 ♪ 831 00:38:22,159 --> 00:38:23,427 ♪ THEY FRESH OUT A COFFIN 832 00:38:23,427 --> 00:38:24,962 DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TALKING GOT POWER LIKE AUSTIN ♪ 833 00:38:24,962 --> 00:38:25,662 ♪ THEY CAP WITH A GOWN 834 00:38:25,662 --> 00:38:28,565 THESE RAPPERS IS EXHAUSTING SHE GONE COST EM ♪ 835 00:38:28,565 --> 00:38:29,399 ♪ THEY WET LIKE A FAUCET 836 00:38:29,399 --> 00:38:32,169 I LOOK LIKE A FOUNTAIN GET TEXAS LIKE AUSTIN 837 00:38:32,169 --> 00:38:32,603 IN L. A. WE GOLFIN ♪ 838 00:38:32,603 --> 00:38:33,870 ♪ CAN'T TAKE NO MORE LOSSES 839 00:38:33,870 --> 00:38:35,205 AND WE STEADY COUNTIN I PUT EM IN OFFICE AND ♪ 840 00:38:35,205 --> 00:38:36,707 ♪ THEN GET A CROWN 841 00:38:36,707 --> 00:38:38,909 I'M DRENCHED LIKE A DOLPHIN THE FRESHEST IN TOWN ♪ 842 00:38:38,909 --> 00:38:39,676 ♪ RACKS IN 843 00:38:39,676 --> 00:38:41,411 I WALK IN MAXFIELD AND SPLURGING AGAIN ♪ 844 00:38:41,411 --> 00:38:44,715 ♪ MIXING UP CRUSH LIKE 845 00:38:44,715 --> 00:38:48,318 IT'S JUICE AND THE GIN ♪ 846 00:38:48,318 --> 00:38:50,187 ♪ STICKING UP LOOSENING 847 00:38:50,187 --> 00:38:53,890 I WENT TO HOUSTON WITH TRAVIS I'M LIT ♪ 848 00:38:53,890 --> 00:38:54,691 ♪ I DONE GOT RICH BUT 849 00:38:54,691 --> 00:38:55,926 I STILL AIN'T A LICK TAKE A PERC 30 850 00:38:55,926 --> 00:38:56,660 WHENEVER I'M SICK ♪ 851 00:38:56,660 --> 00:38:57,394 ♪ IT COST A 30 852 00:38:57,394 --> 00:38:58,629 I AIN'T EVEN 30 FN HOLD A 30 ♪ 853 00:38:58,629 --> 00:38:59,129 ♪ BLUE TIPS IN DA CLIP 854 00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:00,897 WIDE BODY SWERVING ROLLS ROYCE THAT FOR CERTAIN ♪ 855 00:39:00,897 --> 00:39:01,698 ♪ HER GAME URGENT 856 00:39:01,698 --> 00:39:03,700 I BUST ON HER LIP WE THE BIG DOGS AND THESE LIL SHRIMP ♪ 857 00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:04,401 ♪ VEGAS I SPENT 20K 858 00:39:04,401 --> 00:39:06,403 ON THE STRIP NEIGHBORHOOD BLUE ON ♪ 859 00:39:06,403 --> 00:39:08,138 ♪ THE VETTE THAT'S FOR NIP 860 00:39:08,138 --> 00:39:09,172 THAT GAME OFF THE RIP ♪ 861 00:39:09,172 --> 00:39:10,440 ♪ THEY FRESH OUT A COFFIN 862 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,175 DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TALKING GOT POWER LIKE AUSTIN 863 00:39:12,175 --> 00:39:13,443 THEY CAP WITH A GOWN ♪ 864 00:39:13,443 --> 00:39:14,444 ♪ THESE RAPPERS EXHAUSTIN 865 00:39:14,444 --> 00:39:16,179 THAT HOE SHE GONE COST EM THEY WET LIKE A FAUCET 866 00:39:16,179 --> 00:39:17,914 I LIKE A FOUNTAIN ♪ 867 00:39:17,914 --> 00:39:18,949 ♪ DRINK TEXAS LIKE AUSTIN 868 00:39:18,949 --> 00:39:20,450 IN L. A. WE GOLFIN CAN'T TAKE NO MORE LOSSES 869 00:39:20,450 --> 00:39:21,184 AND WE STEADY COUNTIN ♪ 870 00:39:21,184 --> 00:39:22,185 ♪ I PUT EM IN OFFICE AND 871 00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:24,187 THEN GET A CROWN I'M DRENCHED LIKE A DOLPHIN 872 00:39:24,187 --> 00:39:25,188 THE FRESHEST IN TOWN ♪ 873 00:39:25,188 --> 00:39:26,390 ♪ CAME OUT THE JUNGLE 874 00:39:26,390 --> 00:39:29,660 WITH TIGERS AND APES CAN'T BELIEVE CASH'S 875 00:39:29,660 --> 00:39:36,767 STUDIO IS COVERED IN BAPE ♪ 876 00:39:36,767 --> 00:39:37,768 ♪ COST A ARM AND A LEG 877 00:39:37,768 --> 00:39:39,269 JUST TO SEE ME PERFORM ♪ 878 00:39:39,269 --> 00:39:39,836 ♪ SPEAKING THE TRUTH CAUSE 879 00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:40,771 I AIN'T GOOD AT LYING AND I NEVER PLAY GOLF 880 00:39:40,771 --> 00:39:41,338 BUT I STILL KEEP MY IRON ♪ 881 00:39:41,338 --> 00:39:41,838 ♪ CALL UP SOME VIBES 882 00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:43,073 I GOT NOTHING BUT DIMES SHE GAVE ME SOME BRAIN 883 00:39:43,073 --> 00:39:43,807 I GOT PIECE OF HER MIND ♪ 884 00:39:43,807 --> 00:39:44,308 ♪ PULL UP TO FUNCTIONS 885 00:39:44,308 --> 00:39:45,609 MY NAME ON THE BANNER STILL WALKING THROUGH THE 886 00:39:45,609 --> 00:39:46,310 BACK DOOR WITH MY HAMMER ♪ 887 00:39:46,310 --> 00:39:46,877 ♪ TOLD THESE LIL BOYS THAT 888 00:39:46,877 --> 00:39:48,312 THEY DON'T WANT NO SMOKE HAD TO AIM AT HIS LEGS 889 00:39:48,312 --> 00:39:49,046 CAN'T GET CAUGHT UP ON CAMERA ♪ 890 00:39:49,046 --> 00:39:49,813 ♪ GOT ME A BADDIE 891 00:39:49,813 --> 00:39:54,551 WHEN SHE GIVE ME SLOPPY SHE TIE UP HER HAIR 892 00:39:54,551 --> 00:39:55,819 WITH A GUCCI BANDANA COME BETWEEN ME AND 893 00:39:55,819 --> 00:39:56,553 MY BLUES AND GET HANDLED ♪ 894 00:39:56,553 --> 00:39:57,287 ♪ I KNOW ME SAME DANGEROUS 895 00:39:57,287 --> 00:39:58,522 CRIPS FROM ATLANTA IF I RUN INTO A PROBLEM 896 00:39:58,522 --> 00:39:59,523 WITH CAKE I PUT POTS ♪ 897 00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:00,324 ♪ ON THE STOVE AND 898 00:40:00,324 --> 00:40:02,025 I WHIP UP THE BATTER SPEAK ON MY NAME IMA PULL 899 00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:03,026 UP ON YOU ALL YOU PEOPLE ♪ 900 00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:03,760 ♪ GONE RUN WHEN THE SHOTS 901 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,529 START TO SPLATTER STAYED ON MY GRIND AND ♪ 902 00:40:05,529 --> 00:40:06,530 ♪ I BEEN MAKING NOISE AND 903 00:40:06,530 --> 00:40:11,335 I STILL FIND A WAY HOW TO TUNE OUT THE CHATTER 904 00:40:11,335 --> 00:40:13,537 CATCHING YOU ‐‐ IS LIKE CATCHING THE OPPS ♪ 905 00:40:13,537 --> 00:40:14,271 ♪ I JUST PULL AND SHOOT 906 00:40:14,271 --> 00:40:16,073 RIGHT AT HER THEY FRESH OUT A COFFIN 907 00:40:16,073 --> 00:40:16,673 DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TALKING ♪ 908 00:40:16,673 --> 00:40:17,207 ♪ GOT POWER LIKE AUSTIN 909 00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:18,542 THEY CAP WITH A GOWN THESE RAPPERS EXHAUSTIN 910 00:40:18,542 --> 00:40:19,343 SHE GONE COST EM ♪ 911 00:40:19,343 --> 00:40:19,876 ♪ THEY WET LIKE A FAUCET 912 00:40:19,876 --> 00:40:21,345 I LIKE A FOUNTAIN DRINK TEXAS LIKE AUSTIN 913 00:40:21,345 --> 00:40:22,079 IN LA WE GOLFIN ♪ 914 00:40:22,079 --> 00:40:22,813 ♪ CAN'T TAKE NO MORE LOSSES 915 00:40:22,813 --> 00:40:24,648 AND WE STEADY COUNTIN I PUT EM IN OFFICE ♪ 916 00:40:24,648 --> 00:40:25,282 ♪ AND THEN GET A CROWN 917 00:40:25,282 --> 00:40:30,823 I'M DRENCHED LIKE A DOLPHIN THE FRESHEST IN TOWN ♪ 918 00:40:30,823 --> 00:40:31,188 ♪ 919 00:40:31,188 --> 00:40:32,556 ♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH 920 00:40:41,991 --> 00:40:42,384 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK WILL ARNETT, ROSAMUND PIKE, 921 00:40:42,384 --> 00:40:45,554 MARK HAMILL, NAV AND GUNNA. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 922 00:40:45,554 --> 00:40:46,922 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. SO BUNDLE UP, AND TAKE IT IN. 923 00:40:46,922 --> 00:40:50,422 THANKS FOR WATCHING. GOOD NIGHT.