1 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,939 >> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 2 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:10,076 TONIGHT -- EDDIE MURPHY AND ARSENIO HALL. 3 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:14,346 ALAN KIM AND MUSIC FROM MADISON BEER AND NOW 4 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:18,150 JIMMY KIMMEL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 5 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,486 >> Jimmy: HELLO, I'M JIMMY. I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 6 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:24,556 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. WE SO MUCH TO GET TO 7 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:30,295 EDDIE MURPHY AND ARSENIO ARE STANDING BY. 8 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,698 DON'T GET TOO EXCITED, BUT FIRST, THE RETURN OF THE 9 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:40,906 MYTHICAL CREATURE KNOWN AS DONALD TRUMP 10 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:42,841 WHO WAS AT CPAC, WHICH SOUNDS LIKE THE ANTIBIOTIC 11 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,777 YOU GET AFTER BEING EXPOSED TO TED CRUZ IN A HOT TUB. 12 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,912 BUT IT'S NOT. IT IS THE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL 13 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:51,116 ACTION COMMITTEE CONVENTION. WHERE THINGS GOT OFF TO A 14 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,451 MAGA-NIFICENT START. ♪ THAT OUR FLAG 15 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,188 ♪ WAS STILL THERE ♪ 16 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:59,124 OH, SAY ♪ ♪ DOES THAT 17 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:02,395 ♪ STAR-SPANGLED ♪ BANNER 18 00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:05,530 ♪ YET WAVE ♪ 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:19,745 ♪ O'ER THE LAND OF THE FREE ♪ 20 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:25,951 ♪ EEEEEE. >> Jimmy: AND THAT WAS THE BEST 21 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:29,622 PART OF THE WHOLE THING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 22 00:01:29,624 --> 00:01:32,091 THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT. THE MAIN EVENT WAS FIBERACE 23 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,159 HIMSELF. AFTER WEEKS OF HIBERNATION, 24 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,363 DONALD TRUMP EMERGED FROM HIS CAVE. 25 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,230 HIDING. HE WAS MORE THAN AN HOUR LATE 26 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:41,033 GETTING STARTED. BUT ONCE HE GOT ONSTAGE, NOT 27 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,636 ONLY WAS THE MAGIC BACK, HE WAS SURPRISINGLY DIPLOMATIC. 28 00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:44,837 SOME MIGHT EVEN SAY SUPPORTIVE OF HIS SUCCESSOR IN THE WHITE 29 00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:50,442 HOUSE. >> Jimmy: JOE BIDEN HAS HAD THE 30 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:55,580 MOST DISASTROUS FIRST MONTH OF ANY PRESIDENT IN MODERN HISTORY, 31 00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:56,982 THAT'S TRUE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 32 00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:00,052 >> Jimmy: SO SAID THE PRESIDENT WHO SPENT HIS FIRST MONTH 33 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:02,654 ARGUING OVER CROWD SIZE, ORDERED A MUSLIM BAN, RAGE-TWEETED THE 34 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:08,193 WOMENS' MARCH, FIRED SALLY YATES, MOCKED 35 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:11,063 ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGER FOR LOW RATINGS ON "THE APPRENTICE," AND 36 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,397 GOLFED SIX TIMES. YELL-VIS WENT ON AND ON FOR MORE 37 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:15,067 THAN 90 MINUTES. HE WAS YELLING. 38 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:18,337 MY WIFE WAS YELLING AT ME FOR WATCHING IT. 39 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:23,008 IT WAS KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW THAT SHOW "DR. PIMPLE POPPER?" 40 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,012 ALL THIS DISGUSTING STUFF KEEPS COMING OUT, AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OH 41 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,413 GOD- WHEN WILL IT END?" BUT UNTIL IT DOES, YOU CAN'T 42 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:31,484 LOOK AWAY? THAT'S HIM. 43 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,286 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S DONALD TRUMP. 44 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,554 BUT HE WAS IN GOOD SPIRITS. READY TO REMINISCE. 45 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,489 HE EVEN SHARED WARM WISHES FROM MELANIA. 46 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:43,095 >> WHEN I MADE THE FIRST REMARKS, WHEN I CAME DOWN THE 47 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,897 ESCALATOR WITH OUR GREAT FUTURE FIRST LADY. 48 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:50,702 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHO SAYS HELLO. 49 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,238 WHO LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU 50 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:58,911 >> Jimmy: WHICH IS NOT AT ALL. YOU COULD ALL FALL INTO THE SEA, 51 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:02,180 AND NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD BAT AN EYE. 52 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,249 IT WAS QUITE A SELF-LOVE FEST. HIGHLIGHTED BY TRUMP'S 53 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:09,654 DELIGHTFUL DELUSION THAT HE IS MORE BELOVED THAN RONALD REAGAN. 54 00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:14,927 >> WE HAD 56 UNBELIEVABLE PACKED RALLIES AND NOBODY'S EVER HAD 55 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:19,931 ANYTHING LIKE WHAT WE HAD. WE STARTED HEARING "WE LOVE YOU" 56 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:26,204 I ASKED SOMEBODY BECAUSE WE REALLY LIKED RONALD REAGAN HE 57 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:32,144 WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT, WE HAD OTHERS AND I SAID, DID ANYBODY 58 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:37,016 EVER SAY THAT, AND TO THE BEST OF THE SCHOLARS NOBODY'S EVER 59 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:41,153 HEARD THAT BEFORE. SO IT'S AN HONOR, BELIEVE ME, 60 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:46,625 IT'S AN HONOR. >> Jimmy: ONE I'M HUMBLED BY. 61 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,427 HE IS SOMETHING ELSE. HE FEELS COMPETITIVE WITH DEAD 62 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,963 PEOPLE! TRUMP ALSO TOOK SHOTS AT THE 63 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,031 SUPREME COURT. HE SAID THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE 64 00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:53,499 "GUTS OR THE COURAGE TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION." 65 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,566 THAT'S GOOD. THE DRAFT DODGER WHO CAN'T OPEN 66 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,901 HIS OWN DIET COKES IS TALKING ABOUT GUTS AND COURAGE. 67 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,572 AND OF COURSE, THE BIG QUESTION MANY HAVE BEEN ASKING IS WILL 68 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,175 TRUMP RUN AGAIN? AND THE ANSWER IS MAYBE, 69 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,979 PROBABLY -- OKAY, YES. >> BUT WHO KNOWS? 70 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:11,784 WHO KNOWS? I MAY EVEN DECIDE TO BEAT THEM 71 00:04:11,786 --> 00:04:16,388 FOR A THIRD TIME, OKAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 72 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,191 >> Jimmy: HA HA. DIDN'T GERMANY SAY THE 73 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:24,997 SAME THING AFTER WORLD WAR II? NOW LOOK AT THIS CROWD, I WANT 74 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,865 YOU TO WATCH THIS GUY HERE, THIS GUY, YEAH. 75 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,201 GOING ABSOLUTELY BANANAS. 76 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,469 OVER THIS. JUST 77 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,605 JUMPING UP AND DOWN LIKE HIS CHEER SQUAD WON REGIONALS. 78 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,473 I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN THAT EXCITED ABOUT ANYTHING IN 79 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:43,215 MY LIFE. HE'S NEVER GONNA LOVE YOU, ERIC 80 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:44,483 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 81 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:49,354 ANYWAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S JUST GIVE DONALD TRUMP FLORIDA 82 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,891 AND SAY GOODBYE. LET'S CUT IT RIGHT HERE. 83 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,692 THERE WERE A LOT OF CRAZY SPEECHES, BUT TRUMP OUT-CRAZIED 84 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,028 THEM ALL. WHICH WAS NO MEAN FEAT, 85 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,296 CONSIDERING THAT ONE OF THE SPEAKERS IS PART OF A JAPANESE 86 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,897 CULT THAT BELIEVES ITS FOUNDER IS AN ALIEN FROM VENUS. 87 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,565 AND ANOTHER ONE WAS DON JR. TO HIS CREDIT, TRUMP DID URGE 88 00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:08,507 EVERYONE TO GET VACCINATED. BUT HE DID NOT MENTION THAT HE 89 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,911 GOT VACCINATED HIMSELF, "NEW YORK TIMES" REPORTED 90 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:13,712 THAT TRUMP AND MELANIA WERE VACCINATED AT THE WHITE HOUSE IN 91 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:14,980 JANUARY. WHY WOULD YOU GET A VACCINE FOR 92 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,850 A VIRUS THAT DISAPPEARED, THAT WASHED AWAY ON ITS OWN LAST 93 00:05:17,852 --> 00:05:21,186 SUMMER? I DON'T KNOW. 94 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,655 THEY PROBABLY HAD TO VACCINATE HIM BY COVERING THE NEEDLE IN 95 00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:23,589 PEANUT BUTTER, AND MAKING HIM EAT IT. 96 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,391 [ LAUGHTER ] AS FAR AS WE KNOW, TRUMP DID NOT 97 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:30,395 GET PAID TO SPEAK AT CPAC. EVEN THOUGH IT IS A FOR-PROFIT 98 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,263 EVENT. THEY SELL ALL KINDS OF GREAT 99 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:35,467 STUFF. THIS IS REALLY A GREAT PLACE TO 100 00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:38,537 DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, THIS 101 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:42,073 THISSER BEST -- 102 00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:46,212 PART OF WAKING UP IS DONALD TRUMP." 103 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,080 THERE ARE SHIRTS THAT SHOW JOE BIDEN WITH A HITLER 104 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,414 MUSTACHE. AND THIS GUY WEARING A TRUMP 105 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,284 MASK LIKE A CHINSTRAP IS SELLING PRODUCTS VIA MAGAHAMMOCKS.COM. 106 00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,953 HE SELLS DONALD TRUMP-THEMED HAMMOCKS. 107 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:59,424 THIS ONE GOES FOR 1500 BUCKS. THERE'S A "FAKE NEWS" HAMMOCK 108 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,494 FOR THE UNUSUAL PRICE OF $499.20. 109 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:09,834 AND THIS ONE SAYS, "DEPLORABLE." ON IT, ALSO $499.20 110 00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:11,370 ALL PROUDLY MADE IN EL SALVADOR. I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THE 111 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,437 WEBSITE. THERE'S A SECTION OF "FREQUENTLY 112 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:16,842 ASKED QUESTIONS." SECTION, HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS, 113 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,176 "HOW DO I GET IN AND OUT OF A HAMMOCK?" 114 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,312 [ LAUGHTER ] "HOW TO SIT ON A HAMMOCK CHAIR?" 115 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:23,716 AND "CAN I USE MY HAMMOCK WHEN IS WET?' 116 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,983 [ LAUGHTER ] YES, BUT WHEN IS WET, WHY YOU BE 117 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:30,122 IN RAIN? [ LAUGHTER ] 118 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,790 WHO BUYS THESE? IT'S LIKE THEY OPENED A DOLLAR 119 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:35,194 TREE IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION. [ LAUGHTER ] 120 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:38,397 SPEAKING OF HAMMOCKS, GUESS WHO ELSE SHOWED UP TO CPAC? 121 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,131 >> THERE'S NO OTHER COUNTRY THAT HAS A DREAM. 122 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:44,669 HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THAT? THERE'S NO FRENCH DREAM OR 123 00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,272 CANADIAN DREAM OR NIGERIAN DREAM. 124 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:50,743 ONLY AN AMERICAN DREAM. >> AMERICAN DREAM. 125 00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:51,810 >> Jimmy: AND AS SOMEONE WHO SLEEPS 14 HOURS A DAY, 126 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,680 DR. CARSON KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT DREAMS. 127 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,148 AND NOT ONLY WERE PHILOSOPHIES EXCHANGED AT CPAC. 128 00:06:56,216 --> 00:07:03,155 NOT ONLY WERE PRINCIPLES AND VALUES CEMENTED AND SHARED. 129 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,891 THERE WERE A LOT OF LAUGHS TOO. >> 15,000 FANS, THREE NIGHTS IN 130 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:15,233 ORLANDO, C-PACKED WITH LAUGHS, FEATURING THE FUNNIEST WHITES IN 131 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,503 THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. >> ORLANDO IS AWESOME. 132 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:23,642 NOT AS NICE AS CANCUN. >> THE KINGS OF CONSERVATIVE 133 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:24,910 COMEDY. YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THE 134 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:30,515 COMEDY EVENT FOX NEWS CALLS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING SINCE 135 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,985 HILLARY COLLAPSED ON THE SIDEWALK. 136 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,855 NO MESS. >> APPARENTLY THE PROTOCOL 137 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,858 CHANGED AGAIN. >> NO CENSORSHIP. 138 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:45,130 >> FAUCI ME, FAUCI YOU. >> AND PUNCH LINES. 139 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,866 >> I HEAR AMERICA'S BACK, BACK TO WHAT? 140 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:51,069 >> MORE THAN TWO AND HALF HOURS OF 141 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:55,073 POTATO JOKES. >> MR. POTATO HEAD WAS AMERICA'S 142 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,677 FIRST TRANSGENDER DOLL AND EVEN HE GOT CANCER. 143 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:04,883 >> STARRING KIMBERLY GILL FOIL. >> LEADING 144 00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:08,687 FROM BEHIND FROM BEHIND KAMALA, THAT IS. 145 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:12,691 >> AND FLATO THE ENTERTAINER. >> SPEAKING OF BOMBING THE 146 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:17,429 MIDDLE EAST, HAVE YOU SEEN LIZ CHENEY'S POLL NUMBERS. 147 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:26,037 >> AND HEADLINER TED CUCARACHA CRUZ. 148 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,174 >> IF YOU STAND UP PUT THE MASK ON. 149 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:35,247 >> WITH SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE FROM HOLLOW GRAM. 150 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:44,255 AND INTRODUCING -- >> A TRIUM FANTAY ITRIUMPHAN PR 151 00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:46,524 MAKE A RETURN TO THE WHITE HOUSE. 152 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:50,396 I WONDER WHO, WHO WHO WILL IT BE. 153 00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:52,564 MELANIA. >> THE CONSERVATIVE COMEDYIANS 154 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:59,671 YOU WILL PEE YOUR PANTS. >> IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF 155 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,741 WALLACE, FREEDOM. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD BUY, 156 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,275 TED. ON THE OTHER SIDES OF 157 00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:06,879 THE POLITICAL COIN LAST NIGHT, THE GOLDEN GLOBES. 158 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:11,950 WERE ON NBC, THE GOLDEN GLOBES ARE THE OPPOSITE OF CPAC IN 159 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,084 EVERY WAY. EXCEPT FOR THEY DON'T HAVE ANY 160 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:18,823 BLACK PEOPLE ON THE BOARD. THAT'S WHAT THEY HAVE IN COMMON 161 00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:22,360 OTHERWISE IT WAS VERY DIFFERENT. IT WAS A VIRTUAL SHOW. 162 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,428 AND THEY HAD TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. BUT THERE WERE SOME HIGHLIGHTS. 163 00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,496 TWO WEEKS AGO, JODIE FOSTER WAS HERE ON OUR SHOW. 164 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,364 WE TALKED ABOUT THE FACT THAT GREEN BAY PACKERS QB 165 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:30,302 AARON RODGERS THANKED HER WHEN HE GOT HIS MVP AWARD. 166 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,504 WHICH SHE HAD NO IDEA WAS GONNA HAPPEN. 167 00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:41,580 SO I ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD THANK AARON RODGERS IF SHE WON 168 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:45,651 THE GOLDEN GLOBES. >> -- AND AARON RODGERS. 169 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:49,588 >> Jimmy: THE ANSWER IS YES, YOU WOULD. 170 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,056 THE MOST UNEXPECTED TRIUMPH OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN TRACY MORGAN 171 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,859 GAVE THE AWARD FOR BEST ORIGINAL SCORE TO MY COUSIN SAL, INSTEAD 172 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,527 OF THE MOVIE "SOUL." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 173 00:09:55,596 --> 00:10:01,066 >> AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE GOES TO -- 174 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,803 "SAL" [ LAUGHTER ] 175 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,272 >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS, SAL. IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU WERE 176 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:14,413 RECOGNIZED FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS IN MUSIC. 177 00:10:14,415 --> 00:10:17,082 TODAY, BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU JUST WOKE UP IS MARCH 1st. 178 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,217 MARCH IS HERE. GUILLERMO, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S 179 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,353 MARCH? GUILLERMO. 180 00:10:22,423 --> 00:10:25,357 >> TIME GOES FAST. >> Jimmy: WELL YOU'RE NOT ALONE 181 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:34,833 IN DISBELIEF. IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER MONTAGE OF 182 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:38,904 INCREDULOUS NEWSCASTERS. >> CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S MARCH 183 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,639 1st. >> NO CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S 184 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,374 MARCH. >> CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S MARCH 185 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,709 1st ALREADY. >> MARCH 1st CAN YOU BELIEVE 186 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,712 THAT. >> MARCH 1st, CAN YOU BELIEVE 187 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,380 IT. >> MARCH 1st CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. 188 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,248 >> MARCH 1st, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. 189 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,385 >> OH, MY GOSH, HARD TO BELIEVE. >> HARD TO BELIEVE WE ARE 190 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:56,388 ALREADY INTO THE MONTH OF MARCH. >> HARD TO BELIEVE WE'RE ALREADY 191 00:10:56,456 --> 00:11:00,658 I THE MONTH OF MARCH. >> HARD TO BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY 192 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:03,395 MARCH. >> HARD TO BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY 193 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,997 MARCH. >> HARD TO BELIEVE IT IS MARCH. 194 00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:07,666 >> HARD TO BELIEVE IT'S MARCH. >> CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S MARCH. 195 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,734 >> CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY MARCH. 196 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,538 >> IT'S FUNNY, I WAS GETTING READY THIS MORNING AND I'M LIKE, 197 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:19,144 I BET YOU IT'S MARCH BY NOW. SO I LOOKED AT THE CALENDAR, 198 00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,946 THERE YOU GO. >>. 199 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:25,550 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD BE NEXT, 200 00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:26,885 APRIL. ANYONE'S GUESS. 201 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,086 THE END OF FEBRUARY MARKS THE END OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH, AND 202 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:31,823 THE START OF A NEW TIME OF CELEBRATION. 203 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,826 >> BLACK HISTORY MONTH A TIME OF REFLECTION AND 204 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:38,630 COMMEMORATION FOR ALL AMERICANS IS COMING TO A CLOSE. 205 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:46,905 TO MAKE WAY FOR WHITE HISTORY MONTHS. 206 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:50,842 BRING IN HANNITY'S FAVORITE MONTHS OF THE YEAR MARCH THROUGH 207 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:56,447 JANUARY, EPIC PERSUASION OF THE CAUCASIAN PERSUASION 208 00:11:56,517 --> 00:12:02,453 -- WE GOT 209 00:12:02,523 --> 00:12:03,255 OAKLEY'S VELVEETA CHEESE. 210 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:06,124 GETTING OFF WHERE A WARNING. AND 211 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,927 I HAVE A DREAM FEATURING 212 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:11,596 GIANNA CARA IN CONCERT. 213 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:21,339 KICK IT OFF FOR WHITE KICK OFF MONTH SPECTACULAR 214 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,874 -- WHITE ON. 215 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,477 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, YOU EXCITED ABOUT THAT? 216 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:29,547 YOU KNOW WHAT THE MONTH OF MARCH IS? 217 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,951 >> NO. >> Jimmy: IT'S WOMEN'S HISTORY 218 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,287 MONTH. >> OH, IT IS, WOW, THAT'S GOOD. 219 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,622 [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW. 220 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:40,758 >> Jimmy: HA HA. APRIL IS DRUNKEN SIDE KICK 221 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:41,826 MONTH, SO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT. >> ALL RIGHT. 222 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:45,897 >> Jimmy: YEAH. AND I CAN THINK OF NO BETTER WAY 223 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:49,701 TO KICK OFF WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH THAN WITH A 224 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,304 BACHELOR: WOMEN TELL ALL" SPECIAL. 225 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:55,240 WHICH AIRED TONIGHT ON ABC, ALL THE WOMEN WHO WERE REJECTED 226 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,374 BY THIS YEAR'S BACHELOR GET TOGETHER FOR A LONG GROUP 227 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,711 THERAPY SESH LED BY NOTED PSYCHIATRIST CHRIS HARRISON. 228 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:00,846 FOR THE MOST PART IT WAS CHILDISH. 229 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:04,182 A BUNCH OF IMMATURE PEOPLE YELLING OVER EACH OTHER. 230 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,652 SO WE AS WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO GAVE IT THE TODDLER 231 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,386 TREATMENT, AND I THINK YOU WILL AGREE THAT IT MAKES A LOT MORE 232 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:15,993 SENSE LIKE THIS. ♪ 233 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,798 >> THE HOUSE ACTUALLY DID HAVE SOME WOMEN. 234 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,800 >> UNFORTUNATELY -- >> WHY ARE YOU LUMPING EVERYONE 235 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:26,204 TOGETHER. >> THERE'S A LOT OF GIRLS GUYS A 236 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,005 PROBLEM. >> BULLYING IS SUCH A STRONG 237 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,741 WORD. >> IS THE HOUSE REALLY TOXIC. 238 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:34,146 >> OKAY MEAN GIRL [ BLEEP ] WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL IT, THE 239 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:37,615 HOUSE WAS NOT TOXIC UNTIL YOU MADE IT TOXIC. 240 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:42,286 >> YOU CAME HARDER ALMOST MORE THAN ANYBODY. 241 00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:46,624 >> EXCUSE ME I'M STILL SPEAKING. >> GO AHEAD. 242 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,961 >> -- >> IT'S CALLED GROWING YOU BED 243 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:54,099 WETTER. >> Jimmy: SUCH A FUN AGE, 244 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,500 IT REALLY IS. WE HAVE A VERY EXCITING SHOW FOR 245 00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:56,768 YOU TONIGHT. FROM THE NEW MOVIE "MINARI," 246 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:58,836 8-YEAR-OLD ALAN KIM IS WITH US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 247 00:13:58,906 --> 00:13:59,704 HE IS ADORABLE. WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM 248 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,439 MADISON BEER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 249 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,508 AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND ARSENIO HALL. 250 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:06,377 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ 251 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,255 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 252 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,525 >> Jimmy: TONIGHT ON THE SHOW FROM THE NEW MOVIE 253 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:24,529 "MINARI," ALAN KIM IS HERE. HE IS 8-YEARS-OLD, AND HE IS 254 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,998 ADORABLE. RIGHT GUILLERMO. 255 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:31,669 >> YEAH HE'S FANTASTIC. >> Jimmy: AND FROM NEW YORK CITY 256 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,271 HER NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "LIFE SUPPORT." 257 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,139 MUSIC FROM MADISON BEER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 258 00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,008 THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS WITH SACHA BARON COHEN, 259 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,810 CHARLES BARKLEY, DAISY RIDLEY, WESLEY SNIPES. 260 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,946 AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM DAVID-O, CHARLOTTE LAWRENCE, AND 261 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,149 ASHE FEATURING FINNEAS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 262 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,151 PLEASE JOIN US FOR EACH AND EVERY SHOW. 263 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,221 33 YEARS AGO, OUR FIRST GUESTS STARRED IN ONE OF THE MOST 264 00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:55,961 BELOVED COMEDIES OF ALL. THEY ARE TOGETHER AGAIN WITH A 265 00:14:56,029 --> 00:15:01,499 SEQUEL THAT WILL BE ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED OF ALL, 266 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,433 "COMING 2 AMERICA" HITS AMAZON PRIME VIDEO ON FRIDAY. 267 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,369 PLEASE WELCOME EDDIE MURPHY AND ARSENIO HALL. 268 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,571 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HI, GUYS. 269 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:11,443 HOW YOU DOING? >> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? 270 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,579 >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING WITH US, FIRST OF ALL. 271 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:18,382 I DIDN'T SNOW WHAT TO EXPECT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, 272 00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:19,717 WHETHER YOU GUYS WOULD BE TOGETHER. 273 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,587 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TOGETHER PHYSICALLY? 274 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:28,059 >> EDDIE'S DAUGHTER, MY GODDAUGHTER WENT TO AN ART SHOW 275 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:32,531 AND WE ALL WENT AND THERE WAS A LADY THERE WITH A MASK ON AND 276 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,000 I'D NEVER SEEN ANYBODY WITH A MASK ON BUT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE 277 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:42,340 THERE AND I WAS JOKING, LIKE, LOOK AT NURSE JACKIE OVER IN THE 278 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,274 CORNER. [ LAUGHTER ] 279 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:48,079 WE ALL WAS OUT LOOKING FOR MASKS 74 HOURS LATER. 280 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:51,015 >> Jimmy: THIS WAS A YEAR AGO AT THE BEGINNNG OF THE WHOLE DEAL. 281 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:55,286 >> YEAH, JANUARY, FEBRUARY. >> Jimmy: DO YOU MISS EACH 282 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,289 OTHER? >> HA HA HA. 283 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,490 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW, I 284 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:03,761 WAS LOOKING AT A BUNK OF VIDEO -- BUNCH OF VIDEO AND 285 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,765 FOUND A VIDEO OF YOU GUYS BEING INTERVIEWED BEFORE THE FIRST 286 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:15,307 MOVIE CAME OUT, THIS WAS 1988. I WANT TO SHOP A CLIP -- SHOW A 287 00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:16,975 CLIP. >> THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I SAW 288 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,177 HIM. >> EVER SINCE THEN WE'VE BEEN 289 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,113 DOING THIS -- >> WE'LL BE COMING TO A CITY 290 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,982 NEAR YOU. >> REAL SOON. 291 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:30,454 >> HERE WE ARE. >> Jimmy: SO MANY YEARS LATER 292 00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:34,259 YOU'LL STILL PALS. >> 1988. 293 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,996 >> CRAZY. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST 294 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:41,466 EDDIE ON THE SHOW LAST TIME, BUT REMEMBER WHEN THERE WAS A PARTY 295 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:48,072 AFTER DOLAMITE AT EDDIE'S HOUSE AND SOMEHOW I GOT INVITED TO 296 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:52,209 YOUR HOUSE AND MY WIFE AND I WERE THE FIRST TO ARRIVE, WHICH 297 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:56,281 WAS EMBARRASSING, WE WALK IN THE DOOR AND YOU GUYS WERE SITTING 298 00:16:56,283 --> 00:17:03,154 ON THE COUCH WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND I BLURTED OUT OH, 299 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:07,158 THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE LIKE. 300 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,762 SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT. DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU WERE 301 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,498 WATCHING? >> MONO NEON. 302 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:18,436 >> Jimmy: A GUY WHO IS AN UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED BASS 303 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:23,508 PLAYER. >> HE'S NOT JUST A BASS PLAYER. 304 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:31,850 HE'S A BASS PLAYER, AND HE'S -- BA 305 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,519 BASKIET AND SKITTLES. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S 306 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,853 UNBELIEVABLE. I'M READING THIS INTERVIEW WITH 307 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:41,393 THE TWO OF YOU GUYS IN THE "NEW YORK TIMES" AND THE GUYS ASKED 308 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:53,471 IF YOU SHARE A MAKE-UP TRAILER AND ARCEGSENIO SAID NO, WHY NOT 309 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,007 ARSENIO? >> SOMETIMES I WANT TO WATCH CNN 310 00:17:56,076 --> 00:18:02,613 OR [ BLEEP ] AND EDDIE [ BLEEP ] -- EDDIE LOVES -- 311 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,682 >> [ BLEEP ] [ LAUGHTER ] 312 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:09,687 >> Jimmy: WELL THAT EXPLAINS IT. HA HA HA. 313 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:14,291 HA HA HA. >> EDDIE HAS VERY SPECIFIC 314 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:18,096 THINGS HE LIKES TO WATCH. HE WON'T WATCH IT AND THEN SAY 315 00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:23,301 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WATCH. WE HAVE TO WATCH MONO NEON FOR 316 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,371 SIX HOURS, SOMETIMES THOSE MAKE UP JOBS ARE SIX HOURS. 317 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:33,311 SO I WANTED MY OWN TV. >> I CAN WATCH HIM FOR SIX 318 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:34,512 HOURS. >> Jimmy: YOU CAN, HONESTLY. 319 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,382 I WAS LAUGHING BECAUSE I WAS LIKE OH, MY GOD THIS IS WHAT 320 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,317 THEY WERE WATCHING TWO YEARS AGO. 321 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:56,267 LET'S SHOW A CLIP SO PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THE DEAL. 322 00:18:56,335 --> 00:19:01,539 ♪ >> Jimmy: HE'S UNBELIEVABLE. 323 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:06,144 BY THE WAY, NEXT TIME YOU GUYS ARE HERE I PROMISE I WILL FLY 324 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,146 HIM IN WHEREVER HE IS TO BE ON THE SHOW. 325 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:12,150 >> I THINK HE'S A CALIFORNIA ARTIST. 326 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,618 >> Jimmy: THAN I'LL DRIVE HIM IN. 327 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,620 WHATEVER IT IS. >> HEY, JIMMY, I THINK PRINCE 328 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:19,624 WAS ABOUT TO HIRE HIM RIGHT BEFORE HE PASSED AWAY. 329 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,159 HE'S AN UNBELIEVABLE MUSICIAN. >> ABSOLUTELY. 330 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:26,364 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DISLIKE HIM SO MUCH, ARSENIO. 331 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,633 [ LAUGHTER ] . 332 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,836 HAVE YOU GUYS EVER HAD LIKE A REAL FIGHT. 333 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,238 ARGUMENT WHERE YOU DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER? 334 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:37,375 >> EDDIE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ME. I GOT HANDS. 335 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,378 THE FURNITURE WILL START MOVING, JIMMY. 336 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:44,248 HE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ME. >> HE SAID THAT IN JEST. 337 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:48,253 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE NICKNAMES 338 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:53,258 FOR EACH OTHER? >> YES, I CALL HIM PUNK ASS 339 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,461 BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] 340 00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:01,266 >> OKAY, NOW THE PANDEMIC CAN NEVER END BECAUSE I'M WHIPPING 341 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:05,537 YOUR ASS CALLING ME PUNK ASS BITCH ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. 342 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:09,007 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT, I FIND IT HARD TO INTERVIEW MY CLOSE 343 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:13,945 FRIENDS BECAUSE I FEEL I KNOW THE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS I ASK. 344 00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:19,217 ARSENIO, I WONDER IF YOU HAD THAT WHEN EDDIE WOULD COME ON 345 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:22,753 "THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW" WAS IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO INTERVIEW 346 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,423 HIM? >> HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THOSE OLD 347 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:29,294 INTERVIEWS, WE JUST BE LAUGHING. >> I WATCHED ONE TODAY. 348 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:34,432 >> I THINK ON "IN LIVING COLOR" THEY MADE A JOKE WHEN WE DO 349 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:37,569 INTERVIEWS, IT'S JUST US LAUGHING INSIDE STUFF SAYING 350 00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:42,507 [ BLEEP ] THAT ONLY US KNOW. LATER ON, HA, HA,, SCREAMING AND 351 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:45,577 FALLING OUT. WAS NEVER SCRIPTED. 352 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:49,714 >> YEAH, ONE TIME I WAS INTERVIEWING HIM AND WE ACTUALLY 353 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,650 FORGOT THE WHOLE SEGMENT AND CLIP AND EVERYTHING AND BROUGHT 354 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,919 ON HIS UNCLE RAY. >> Jimmy: HA HA HA. 355 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,989 >> WHO WAS THE SINGER THAT WAS MAD? 356 00:20:57,991 --> 00:21:00,725 STEPHANIE MILLS WAS MAD. REMEMBER BECAUSE SHE WENT TOO 357 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,594 LONG. SHE WAS ON THE SHOW. 358 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,929 SHE WAS MAD. >> Jimmy: SHE GOT BUMPED. 359 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:10,535 >> I DON'T KNOW, I HEARD SHE WAS MAD BECAUSE SHE WAS ON THE SHOW 360 00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:14,272 WE HAD UNCLE RAY. >> Jimmy: ARSENIO HAS THE 361 00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:19,010 TALK-SHOW LOOK ON HIS FACE, YOU DON'T KNOW, I DID A MILLION 362 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,678 SHOWS AND A HUNDRED PEOPLE WERE MAD. 363 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,482 >> THAT WAS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO GET A CALL FROM STEPHANIE. 364 00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:26,083 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M STILL MAD, ARSENIO, I'M 365 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,820 STILL MAD. [ LAUGHTER ] 366 00:21:28,822 --> 00:21:36,160 >> Jimmy: EDDIE, WHEN ARSENIO WAS ON "THE CELEBRITY APPREN 367 00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:39,164 APPRENTICE" DID YOU WATCH HIM ON THAT SHOW? 368 00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:41,699 >> YOU WATCHED! >> I MIGHT HAVE WATCHED THE 369 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,234 FINALE OR SOMETHING. >> Jimmy: HA HA. 370 00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:48,973 ARSENIO WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD FROM YOUR MENTOR, YOUR 371 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,509 CELEBRITY MENTOR, DONALD TRUMP. [ LAUGHTER ] 372 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:57,182 >> HA HA HA HA. WE DON'T TALK A LOT. 373 00:21:57,250 --> 00:22:00,585 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHAT, IT WAS WEIRD, HE 374 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:05,523 GOT MAD AT ME ONCE, LIKE, HE WON'T TEXT YOU, HE GOT MAD AT ME 375 00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:09,393 ONCE BECAUSE I DID AN INTERVIEW AND HE SAID I DIDN'T MENTION 376 00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:10,461 HIM. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T MENTION 377 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,529 EVERYTHING YOU SAY. >> Jimmy: WHAT? 378 00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:19,670 >> HE TOOK THE INTERVIEW AND WROTE IN SHARPIE, NO TRUMP AND 379 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,872 HE PHOTOGRAPHED AND E-MAILED IT TO ME. 380 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:25,476 IT WAS THE STRANGEST TRANSMISSION I EVER HAD. 381 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,879 >> Jimmy: THAT'S CRAZY. THAT'S WHAT I WROTE ON MY BALLOT 382 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,748 IN NOVEMBER, ACTUALLY. [ LAUGHTER ] 383 00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:36,487 [ APPLAUSE ] ARE THERE CAST MEMBERS FROM 384 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:40,491 "COMING TO AMERICA" THAT YOU GUYS HAD NOT SEEN SINCE YOU SHOT 385 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:44,428 IT THE FIRST TIME AROUND? >> JOHN AMOS. 386 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:51,168 >> I HADN'T SEEN OHI. I SEEN JOHN AMOS A FEW TIME, I 387 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:55,372 HADN'T SEEN OJAI SINCE THE LAST MOVE. 388 00:22:55,442 --> 00:22:59,043 >> Jimmy: WOW AND LOUIS ANDERSON, I LOVE SEEING HIM IN A 389 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,246 CAP, DON'T WANT TO GIVE MUCH AWAY. 390 00:23:01,314 --> 00:23:06,651 >> IT'S A DASHIKI. THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER. 391 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:11,256 >> Jimmy: HA HA. HOW DID LOUIS COME TO BE A PART 392 00:23:11,324 --> 00:23:13,925 OF THAT FILM? AND YOUR WORLD THERE? 393 00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:20,064 >> I LOVE LOUIS BUT I THINK WE WERE FORCED TO PUT LOUIS IN IT. 394 00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:23,067 >> Jimmy: WHAT? >> WE WERE FORCED TO PUT A WHITE 395 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:25,336 PERSON. >> YEAH, PARAMOUNT WAS LIKE, 396 00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:29,474 BECAUSE THE WHOLE CAST WAS BLACK, IT WAS IN THE 80'S, 397 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:32,343 THEY'RE LIKE THERE HAS TO BE A WHITE PERSON IN THE MOVIE. 398 00:23:32,412 --> 00:23:37,481 WHAT? SO IT'S WAS, WHO IS THE FUNNIEST 399 00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:38,749 WHITE GUY AROUND. . 400 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:43,821 WE KNEW LOUIS WAS COOL SO THAT'S HOW LOUIS GOT IN THE MOVIE. 401 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:46,957 >> WOW, HE'S THE FUNNIEST WHITE PERSON YOU KNOW. 402 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:48,292 PRETTY GREAT DISTINCTION TO HAVE. 403 00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:52,497 >> BACK THEN IT WAS 1988, IT WAS LIKE, LOUIS WAS REALLY FUNNY, 404 00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:56,634 IT'S LIKE WE HAVE A WHITE GUY, HE'D BE PERFECT. 405 00:23:56,703 --> 00:23:58,836 >> Jimmy: LOUIS IS STILL PERFECT. 406 00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:02,306 >> AND JIMMY, IT WAS OFFICIAL. I HAD A LIST. 407 00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:06,643 THEY GAVE ME A LIST WITH THREE WHITE GUYS, THEY SAID WHO WOULD 408 00:24:06,713 --> 00:24:09,247 YOU RATHER WORK WITH. I SAID LOUIS. 409 00:24:09,249 --> 00:24:11,248 >> Jimmy: REALLY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE OTHER TWO? 410 00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:14,118 >> OH, YEAH. BUT I CAN'T SAY. 411 00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:15,386 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHEN WE COME BACK 412 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:19,457 WE'RE GOING TO JUMP IN THE TIME MACHINE AND GO BACK TO THE 413 00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:23,861 BARBER SHOP. "COMING 2 AMERICA" COMING TO 414 00:24:23,930 --> 00:24:30,601 AMAZON PRIME ON FRIDAY. WE'LL BE BACK WITH EDDIE AND 415 00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:31,535 ARSENIO. >> Announcer: PORTIONS OF "JIMMY 416 00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:32,737 KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT TO YOU BY CROWN ROYAL. 417 00:24:32,739 --> 00:24:33,738 IN PARTNERSHIP WITH "COMING 2 AMERICA," HONORING BLACK 418 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:34,105 HERITAGE MONTH AND BLACK ROYALTY ALL YEAR ROUND. 419 00:24:40,747 --> 00:24:44,749 >>> WELL, I'LL BE DAMN, LOOK WHO DONE COME UP IN HERE. 420 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,685 >> AH -- >> DIAMOND AND BLOOD DIAMOND. 421 00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:53,624 >> YES, MANDELA AND WINNY. >> IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 422 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:55,360 THE NEIGHBORHOOD SEEMS TO BE THRIVING. 423 00:24:55,428 --> 00:25:01,299 >> THAT'S THAT GENTRIFICATION. THE COLOR MAN DIDN'T HAVE 424 00:25:01,301 --> 00:25:06,570 [ BLEEP ], THEN THE WHITE MAN MOVE IN WITH THE DOG PARKS AND 425 00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:08,172 MY BROWN STONE WORTH $10 MILLION. 426 00:25:08,241 --> 00:25:11,375 >> YOUR BROWN STONE AIN'T WORTH NO $10 MILLION. 427 00:25:11,444 --> 00:25:16,247 >> IT IS TOO WORTH $10 MILLION AND I'M GONNA SELL IT AND GET ME 428 00:25:16,249 --> 00:25:21,652 A TESLA. CLEAR CHEER 429 00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:26,657 >> Jimmy: THAT'S EDDIE MURPHY AND ARSENIO HALL IN "COMING 2 430 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:30,261 AMERICA" I'D LOVE TO TALK TO THE GUYS IN THE BARBER SHOP YOU EVER 431 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:35,266 TALK ABOUT THAT. >> OH, NO, IT FATAKES SIX HOURSO 432 00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:38,069 DO THAT MAKE UP. A MOVIE TAKE THREES MONTHS TO 433 00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:42,940 DO, TO DO A MOVIE WITH THOSE PEOPLE WOULD TAKE LIKE A YEAR. 434 00:25:43,008 --> 00:25:46,410 >> Jimmy: I SEE THAT AS YOUR PROBLEM, AND NOT OURS, YOU KNOW. 435 00:25:46,412 --> 00:25:50,348 >> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S A TRIP, IT'S KIND OF LIKE IT'S THANKLESS 436 00:25:50,416 --> 00:25:54,819 BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IT'S US IN THOSE MAKE UPS. 437 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:59,557 LAST WEEK, I WAS DOING THE INTERVIEW WITH OPRAH, SHE WAS 438 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:06,764 LIKE, OH, THE -- I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT 9 -- THE BARBER 439 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,633 SHOP, I SAID I'M THE OLD JEWISH GUY IN THE BARBER SHOP, SHE WAS 440 00:26:09,702 --> 00:26:12,370 LIKE WHAT, SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. 441 00:26:12,438 --> 00:26:15,439 SHE SAW THE ORIGINAL AND THIS ONE AND ALL THIS TIME DIDN'T 442 00:26:15,508 --> 00:26:17,308 KNOW. AND SHE'S NOT THE ONLY PERSON 443 00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:18,910 THAT DOESN'T KNOW. >> Jimmy: WOW. 444 00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:21,912 >> THOSE MAKE UPS, THOSE MAKE UPS ARE AMAZING. 445 00:26:21,981 --> 00:26:23,580 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> ORIGINALLY THEY'RE DESIGNED 446 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:28,853 BY RICK BAKER, THE GENIUS, AND THOSE MAKE UPS, YOU CAN'T TELL, 447 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:32,456 YOU CAN'T SEE, IT'S LIKE, I COULD GO TALK TO YOU AND YOU 448 00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:36,394 WON'T KNOW THAT IT'S A MAKE UP. IT'S LIKE AMAZING. 449 00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:39,930 >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE BEST OLD PEOPLE MAKE UP I'VE SEEN IN ANY 450 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:43,801 MOVIE, I REALLY THINK IT IS. DID YOU EVER APPROACH STRANGERS 451 00:26:43,803 --> 00:26:49,140 THEY DIDN'T MOW? ON AND THEN - THEY DIDN'T KNOW? 452 00:26:49,142 --> 00:26:52,676 >> EDDIE HIT ON AN OLD LADY ONCE. 453 00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:53,811 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 454 00:26:53,879 --> 00:26:57,949 >> RICK BAKER LET US WALK AROUND, HE SAID TRY IT OUT, SEE 455 00:26:57,951 --> 00:27:02,887 HOW IT WORKS OF AND EDDIE RAN INTO JOHN AMOS AND THEN GOT AN 456 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:08,159 OLD LADY'S PHONE NUMBER, SHE THOUGHT HE WAS A REAL OLD DUDE. 457 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,293 >> Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC. AND DID YOU CALL? 458 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:12,763 >> YEAH, NOT ONLY DID I CALL -- NO NEVER MIND -- 459 00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:18,436 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 460 00:27:18,504 --> 00:27:21,638 >> Jimmy: TRACY MORGAN IS IN THE MOVIE. 461 00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:24,842 AND I WONDER IF YOU HAD A PART YOU THOUGHT TRACY WOULD BE GREAT 462 00:27:24,911 --> 00:27:29,847 FOR OR IF YOU THOUGHT WE GOT TO PUT TRACY IN THE MOVIE, LET'S 463 00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:33,451 COME UP WITH A PART FOR HIM. >> YOU KNOW, FROM THE VERY 464 00:27:33,453 --> 00:27:36,921 BEGINNING, UP UNTIL THE THIRD DRAFT OF THE SCRIPT, TRACY 465 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:41,125 MORGAN WAS MY SON WHEN I FIRST GOT THE IDEA I WAS LIKE, TRACY 466 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:45,062 MORGAN'S GOING TO BE MY SON. WE WROTE TWO OR THREE VERSIONS 467 00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:49,266 OF THE SCRIPT AND AFTER WE STARTED WRITING FOR LESLIE WE 468 00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:53,871 WERE LIKE WILL PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS IS ME AND LESLIE'S CHILD. 469 00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:57,274 BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S OUR AGE. 470 00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,877 SO I STARTED THINKING OF IT DIFFERENTLY. 471 00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:02,747 TRACY WAS STILL GOING TO BE IN THE MOVIE BUT AS A DIFFERENT 472 00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:04,014 CHARACTER. >> Jimmy: RIGHT YEAH. 473 00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:09,754 >> JIMMY, I WOULD DROP HINTS BCAUSE I NEVER LIKED THAT IDEA, 474 00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:12,490 I LOVED TRACY AND WANTED HIM IN IT BUT I WOULD SAY MAYBE FOR THE 475 00:28:12,558 --> 00:28:16,626 THIRD ONE MORGAN FREEMAN CAN BE YOUR SON. 476 00:28:16,696 --> 00:28:19,096 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ LAUGHTER ] 477 00:28:19,098 --> 00:28:23,233 >> Jimmy: I HEARD YOU GUYS SAY SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF -- 478 00:28:23,302 --> 00:28:24,501 >> THAT'S VERY FUNNY. [ LAUGHTER ] 479 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:31,975 >> Jimmy: -- THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO, AFTER ONCE WE CAN GO TO 480 00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:34,512 COMEDY CLUBS AGAIN, YOU'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS WHOLE GROUP FROM 481 00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:41,252 THE MOVIE AND DO SOME KIND OF STAND-UP TOUR, IS THAT TRUE? 482 00:28:41,254 --> 00:28:45,189 >> THERE'S SO MANY COMICS IN THE MOVIE. 483 00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:47,391 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> YOU GOT MYSELF, ARSENIO, 484 00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:54,598 JERMAINE FOWLER, TREVOR NOAH, MICHAEL BLACKSON, LESLIE JONES. 485 00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:57,535 >> Jimmy: TRACY. >> TRACY MORGAN. 486 00:28:57,537 --> 00:29:04,008 THERE'S A LOT OF COMICS, WE COULD DO A "COMING 2 AMERICA" 487 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,677 TOUR AND CALL THE TOUR COMING ALL OVER AMERICA. 488 00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:12,550 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 489 00:29:12,618 --> 00:29:20,691 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I LIKE IT. THINGS HAVE BEEN TOO CLEAN UP 490 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,494 UNTIL NOW WITH ALL OF THE HAND WASHING AND MASK. 491 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:26,230 >> ABOUT TO JUMP THINGS OFF. >> Jimmy: WELL, I GOT TO TELL 492 00:29:26,298 --> 00:29:30,034 YOU MY WIFE AND I WATCHED THE MOVIE ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND 493 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:32,836 ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. I DON'T THINK THERE'S GOING TO 494 00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:37,108 BE I A SINGLE PERSON WHO LOVED THE FIRST ONE WHO WILL BE 495 00:29:37,176 --> 00:29:40,044 DISAPPOINTED WITH THIS ONE BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SO FUNNY 496 00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:42,580 AND YOU'RE SO GREAT IN IT. >> THANKS. 497 00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:44,982 >> Jimmy: IT'S "COMING TO AMERICA" AND WILL BE 498 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:46,317 AVAILABLE TO STREAM FRIDAY ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO. 499 00:29:46,385 --> 00:29:50,854 SO THAT'S YOUR WEEKEND PLAN. ARSENIO HALL AND EDDIE MURPHY, 500 00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:52,589 THANKS, APPRECIATE YOUR TIME. >> THANK YOU. 501 00:29:52,658 --> 00:29:53,924 >> Jimmy: AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JIMMY KIMMEL. 502 00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:02,933 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ 503 00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:12,476 >> Jimmy: HI THERE. MUSIC FROM 504 00:30:12,545 --> 00:30:17,147 MADISON BEER IS COMING UP. OUR NEXT GUEST STARRED IN A 505 00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:19,216 GOLDEN GLOBE WINNING FILM, WAS NOMINATED FOR A SCREEN ACTORS 506 00:30:19,284 --> 00:30:22,153 GUILD AWARD, AND LOST AT LEAST 2 BABY TEETH ALL THIS YEAR. 507 00:30:22,155 --> 00:30:34,765 HIS MOVIE IS CALLED "MINARI." >> [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ] 508 00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:48,312 >> I'M NOT PRETTY, I'M GOOD-LOOKING. 509 00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:50,514 >> Jimmy: "MINARI" IS IN THEATERS, AND ON 510 00:30:50,583 --> 00:30:52,382 DIGITAL PLATFORMS NOW PLEASE WELCOME ALAN KIM. 511 00:30:52,451 --> 00:31:01,658 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ 512 00:31:01,727 --> 00:31:05,463 WELCOME. WOW. 513 00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:07,864 HOW ARE YOU? >> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? 514 00:31:07,934 --> 00:31:11,601 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST GREAT IN THIS 515 00:31:11,671 --> 00:31:12,803 MOVIE. YOU DID SUCH A GREAT JOB. 516 00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:15,672 >> THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR BELT 517 00:31:15,741 --> 00:31:16,940 THERE? WHAT DO YOU HAVE GOING THERE? 518 00:31:17,009 --> 00:31:22,880 >> I HAVE A PURPLE BELT. I TOOK A TEST LAST WEDNESDAY. 519 00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:26,617 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> AND, LIKE, I UPGRADED. 520 00:31:26,619 --> 00:31:31,221 >> Jimmy: YOU UPGRADED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 521 00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:35,559 THIS IS TAEKWONDO? >> YES. 522 00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:38,963 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF BELT DID YOU HAVE BEFORE THIS? 523 00:31:39,031 --> 00:31:42,566 >> IT WAS A BLUE BELT. >> Jimmy: THIS MEANS YOU CAN 524 00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:45,369 BEAT UP ALL THE BLUE BELTS NOW, RIGHT? 525 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:46,836 >> NO. >> Jimmy: NO. 526 00:31:46,906 --> 00:31:50,707 SO YOU KNOW A LOT OF MOVES? DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BEAT ME 527 00:31:50,776 --> 00:31:52,910 IN A FIGHT IF WE WERE TO HAVE A BATTLE? 528 00:31:52,912 --> 00:31:55,045 >> I GUESS SO. [ LAUGHTER ] 529 00:31:55,113 --> 00:31:57,914 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE WE'LL FIGHT AT THE END OF THE SEGMENT. 530 00:31:57,984 --> 00:32:00,850 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. 531 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:01,985 DO IT. >> Jimmy: I'VE GOT A LOT OF 532 00:32:02,054 --> 00:32:09,726 MOVES. YOU -- HA HA. 533 00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:15,265 YOUR MOVIE WON A GOLDEN GLOBE LAST NIGHT! 534 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:16,333 THAT'S EXCITING HUH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 535 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:21,005 >> IT WAS EXCITING. >> Jimmy: MORE EXCITING THAN THE 536 00:32:21,073 --> 00:32:22,206 PURPLE BELT? >> NO. 537 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:26,610 >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. WE HAVE A VIDEO LET'S ROLL THE 538 00:32:26,679 --> 00:32:34,084 TAPE. >> AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE GOES TO 539 00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:35,752 "MINARI." >> Jimmy: YOU GOT VERY EXCITED, 540 00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:38,488 IT SEEMS LIKE. >> UH-HUH. 541 00:32:38,557 --> 00:32:40,824 >> Jimmy: DO YOU ALWAYS STAND THAT CLOSE TO THE TELEVISION? 542 00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:44,094 >> I MEAN, NOT THAT MUCH. >> Jimmy: NOT THAT MUCH, YEAH. 543 00:32:44,163 --> 00:32:48,298 SO IN THE MOVIE, WE SAW THE WOMAN WHO PLAYS YOUR GRANDMA, 544 00:32:48,367 --> 00:32:52,436 NOT REALLY YOUR GRANDMA, COMES TO LIVE WITH YOU AND ONE OF THE 545 00:32:52,438 --> 00:32:57,774 THINGS THAT YOU DO IS, SHE SAYS GO GET ME SOME MT. DEW, AND 546 00:32:57,843 --> 00:33:02,112 INSTEAD, YOU PEE IN A BOWL AND BRING HER THE PEE. 547 00:33:02,181 --> 00:33:03,446 >> OH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH. 548 00:33:03,516 --> 00:33:05,449 HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT IN REAL LIFE? 549 00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:09,920 >> NO, ABSOLUTELY NO, THAT'S TOO -- THAT'S TOO DANGEROUS. 550 00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,121 >> Jimmy: THAT'S TOO DANGEROUS, YEAH. 551 00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:15,793 DID ANYONE HAVE TO WARN YOU NOT TO DO IT IN REAL LIFE WHEN THEY 552 00:33:15,795 --> 00:33:22,866 SHOWED YOU WHAT TO DO IN THE MOVE 1YI? 553 00:33:22,868 --> 00:33:26,136 >> IFNO. >> Jimmy: IS THAT WAS FUN JI 554 00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:31,474 THOUGH. >> YEAH BUT A TINY BIT GUILTY. 555 00:33:31,544 --> 00:33:33,543 >> Jimmy: DID SHE THINK IT WAS FUNNY? 556 00:33:33,612 --> 00:33:36,146 >> NOT SURE. >> Jimmy: AND YOU DIDN'T REALLY 557 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:41,685 PEE IN THE BOWL? >> NO IT WAS ACTUALLY MT. DEW. 558 00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:47,291 >> Jimmy: IT WAS MT. DEW, DO YOU DRINK MT. DEW. 559 00:33:47,293 --> 00:33:51,828 >> WELL, LIKE, IN THE MOVE YI, THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I DRANK 560 00:33:51,897 --> 00:33:58,902 MT. DEW SO I GUESS SHOUT OUT TO I ZACK FOR INTRODUCING ME TO MT. 561 00:33:58,904 --> 00:33:59,903 DEW. [ LAUGHTER ] 562 00:33:59,972 --> 00:34:03,574 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: HOW MUCH MONEY DOES 563 00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:08,112 THE TOOTH FAIRY BRING YOU WHEN YOU LOSE A TOOTH TO MT. DEW? 564 00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:16,320 >> WELL, THE FIRST TIME I LOST MY TOOTH IT WAS AROUND $5. 565 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:19,990 AND THEN IT BECAME $10 AND THEN $ 566 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,058 $20. >> Jimmy: WOW. 567 00:34:21,060 --> 00:34:22,992 >> AND THEN $2. AND THEN I CAN'T REMEMBER THE 568 00:34:23,062 --> 00:34:24,862 REST. >> Jimmy: WOW. 569 00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:27,598 IT REALLY CRASHED ON THE STOCK MARKET. 570 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,868 [ LAUGHTER ] SO IT WAS $5, $10, $20, IT'S 571 00:34:30,936 --> 00:34:36,006 LIKE YOUR TEETH ARE LIKE GAME STOP AND THEN IT WAS LIKE $2? 572 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,341 >> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: AND DO YOU HAVE ANY 573 00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:41,745 TLAEFT ARE GOING TO COME OUT LEFT THAT ARE GOING TO COME OUT? 574 00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:47,417 >> I HAVE TWO TEETH POPPED OUT AND THE TOOTH FAIRY DIDN'T COME 575 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:52,355 SADLY BECAUSE OF QUARANTINE. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, THE TOOTH 576 00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:54,291 FAIRY IS QUARANTINED ALSO, YEAH. YEAH. 577 00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:59,296 >> EVEN THOUGH THE HUMANS ARE QUARANTINED DOESN'T MEAN THE 578 00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:01,965 FAIRIES HAVE TO BE QUARANTINED. >> Jimmy: YEAH IT'S VERY 579 00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:06,303 CONTAGIOUS AMONG FAIRIES AND THERE'S ONLY ONE TOOTH FAIRY IF 580 00:35:06,371 --> 00:35:14,445 SHE DIES THAT'S IT, NOBODY GETS THE MONEY FOR T.J. ANY -- TOOTH 581 00:35:14,447 --> 00:35:16,246 ANY MORE. WHAT DO YOU DO 582 00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:19,917 WITH YOUR MONEY? KEEP IT IN THE BANK? 583 00:35:19,919 --> 00:35:26,857 >> I KEEP IT IN A TOY BOWL AND I KEPT THE PASSWORD AND I'M NOT 584 00:35:26,859 --> 00:35:28,258 TELLING YOU SO DON'T TRY TO CONVINCE ME. 585 00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:33,130 >> Jimmy: NO I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE PASSWORD TO YOUR TOY 586 00:35:33,198 --> 00:35:34,932 VAULT SO PLEASE DON'T TELL IT TO ME. 587 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,666 >> GOOD. >> Jimmy: IN FACT IF YOU TRY TO 588 00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:39,136 TELL IT TO ME I'LL COVER MY EARS. 589 00:35:39,138 --> 00:35:41,070 >> GOOD. >> Jimmy: IS THIS WORKING? 590 00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:43,206 >> YES. >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 591 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:45,209 HA HA. SO YOU'RE STILL IN SCHOOL, 592 00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:48,478 YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DROP OUT BECAUSE 593 00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:50,347 YOU DROP OUT, RIGHT? >> YEAH. 594 00:35:50,349 --> 00:35:52,549 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP GOING? 595 00:35:52,618 --> 00:35:54,551 >> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: I'LL TELL YOU 596 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:56,553 SOMETHING, THAT'S SUCH A GOOD MOVIE. 597 00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:58,422 HAVE YOU WATCHED THE MOVE Y YOURSELF? 598 00:35:58,490 --> 00:35:59,556 >> YES WITH MY MONTH. . 599 00:35:59,624 --> 00:36:01,959 I'VE WATCHED IT LIKE EIGHT TIMES NOW. 600 00:36:01,961 --> 00:36:05,162 >> Jimmy: OH, EIGHT TIMES, AND DO YOU LOVE WATCHING YOURSELF ON 601 00:36:05,164 --> 00:36:09,700 THE MOVIE? >> I MEAN, LIKE, I LIKE IT BUT I 602 00:36:09,702 --> 00:36:14,171 ALREADY KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN SINCE I WATCHED IT LIKE 603 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:15,372 EIGHT TIMES NOW. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE 604 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:18,709 NEXT BELT, YOU WANT TO FIGHT A LITTLE BIT BEFORE WE GO. 605 00:36:18,777 --> 00:36:20,911 >> SURE LET'S GO. >> Jimmy: LET'S GO. 606 00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:22,646 HERE WE GO. SHOW ME HOW YOU DO IT. 607 00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:29,186 COME ON NOW. OH! 608 00:36:29,188 --> 00:36:32,455 SEE I'M CONSTANTLY MOVING. >> HA. 609 00:36:32,525 --> 00:36:37,727 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: PUNCH ME RIGHT IN THE 610 00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:39,530 CHIN! HERE GIVE ME ONE RIGHT IN THE 611 00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:40,464 STOMACH. OH, MY GOD! 612 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:47,805 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DID THAT HURT. 613 00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:52,275 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. WE CAN'T SHAKE HANDS, "MINARI" 614 00:36:52,344 --> 00:37:00,751 IS IN THEATERS AND ON DIGITAL PLATFORMS NOW. 615 00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:04,554 ALAN KIM EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MADISON BEER. 616 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,156 THANK YOU, ALAN. >> Announcer: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL" 617 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,357 LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. 618 00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:08,959 THE BEST OR NOTHING. ♪ 619 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:09,493 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ 620 00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:16,700 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Announcer: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL 621 00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:17,701 LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES-BENZ. 622 00:37:17,769 --> 00:37:25,775 THE BEST OR NOTHING. >> Jimmy: HER NEW ALBUM IS 623 00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:27,778 CALLED "LIFE SUPPORT." WITH THE SONG "I DON'T SPEAK 624 00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:31,048 BOY," MADISON BEER! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 625 00:37:34,186 --> 00:37:39,789 ♪ ♪ I'M LETTING YOU IN 626 00:37:39,858 --> 00:37:44,060 YOU'RE LETTING ME DOWN I SWEAR WHEN YOU TALK 627 00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:52,402 YOU JUST LIKE THE SOUND ♪ ♪ ONE TOO MANY TIMES I LET 628 00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:54,271 YOU RUIN MY LIFE CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD CHANGE 629 00:37:54,339 --> 00:37:57,808 BUT I SEE IT NOW ♪ ♪ ALL THE YELLING AND KISSING 630 00:37:57,810 --> 00:37:58,675 AND FIGHTING WE NEVER COULD SEE ♪ 631 00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:02,812 ♪ EYE TO EYE CAUSE YOU MIGHT SEEM LIKE A MAN 632 00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:06,883 BUT YOU'RE NOT ONE IN YOUR MIND ♪ 633 00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:08,885 ♪ YEAH I'M BACK ON MY SHHH YOUR HONOR 634 00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:10,420 AND IT'S TEMPTING TO CALL YOU AND SEE ♪ 635 00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:12,756 ♪ HOW YOU'RE DOING BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND 636 00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:20,564 YA IF I TRIED ♪ ♪ I DON'T SPEAK BOY 637 00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:24,968 YOU'RE ALWAYS COMING BACK BUT YOUR LOVES POISON ♪ 638 00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:28,438 ♪ SO I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER JUST AVOID IT 639 00:38:28,507 --> 00:38:30,640 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YA ♪ ♪ CAUSE I DON'T SPEAK BOY NO 640 00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:34,043 I DON'T SPEAK I DON'T SPEAK 641 00:38:34,113 --> 00:38:44,921 I DON'T SPEAK BOY ♪ ♪ DON'T KNOW HOW TO 642 00:38:44,923 --> 00:38:46,389 TALK OR COMMUNICATE WERE SO ON AND OFF TO ♪ 643 00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:51,260 ♪ YOU IT'S A GAME IF YOU DON'T LEVEL UP I'M 644 00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:53,863 LEAVING YOU IN ♪ ♪ THE DUST YEAH 645 00:38:53,932 --> 00:38:55,531 SO I'M MOVING ON UNTIL YOU START TRYING TO 646 00:38:55,601 --> 00:39:02,673 ACT YOUR AGE YEAH ♪ ♪ CAUSE I DON'T SPEAK BOY 647 00:39:02,675 --> 00:39:04,207 YOU'RE ALWAYS COMING BACK BUT YOUR LOVES POISON ♪ 648 00:39:04,276 --> 00:39:08,344 ♪ SO I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER JUST AVOID IT 649 00:39:08,414 --> 00:39:11,682 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YA ♪ ♪ CAUSE I DON'T SPEAK BOY NO 650 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:14,417 I DON'T SPEAK I DON'T SPEAK 651 00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:16,019 I DON'T SPEAK ♪ ♪ ALL THE YELLING AND 652 00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,822 KISSING AND FIGHTING WE NEVER COULD SEE 653 00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,423 EYE TO EYE YEAH ♪ ♪ YOU MIGHT SEEM LIKE 654 00:39:20,492 --> 00:39:21,692 A MAN BUT YOU'RE NOT ONE IN YOUR MIND ♪ 655 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,694 ♪ YEAH I'M BACK ON MY SHH YOUR HONOR AND IT'S TEMPTING 656 00:39:24,763 --> 00:39:26,229 TO CALL YOU AND SEE ♪ ♪ HOW YOU'RE DOING 657 00:39:26,298 --> 00:39:40,310 BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND YA IF I TRIED ♪ 658 00:39:40,312 --> 00:39:56,526 ♪ CAUSE I DONT SPEAK BOY BOY 659 00:39:56,595 --> 00:39:57,461 YOU'RE ALWAYS COMING BACK BUT YOUR LOVES POISON ♪ 660 00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:58,595 ♪ SO I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER JUST AVOID IT 661 00:39:58,663 --> 00:40:00,063 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YA ♪ ♪ CAUSE I DON'T SPEAK BOY NO 662 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:00,797 I DON'T SPEAK I DON'T SPEAK 663 00:40:00,866 --> 00:40:04,467 I DON'T SPEAK ♪ ♪ I DON'T SPEAK 664 00:40:04,536 --> 00:40:07,537 I DON'T SPEAK I DON'T SPEAK BOY ♪ 665 00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:09,740 I DON'T SPEAK I DON'T SPEAK 666 00:40:09,808 --> 00:40:14,044 I DON'T SPEAK BOY ♪ >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK 667 00:40:17,950 --> 00:40:23,352 EDDIE MURPHY, ARSENIO HALL, ALAN KIM, AND MADISON BEER. 668 00:40:23,422 --> 00:40:24,488 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 669 00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:28,558 I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW. I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO 670 00:40:28,627 --> 00:40:30,494 BE BACK TOMORROW, SO I'LL SEE YOU THEN, 671 00:40:30,496 --> 00:40:32,629 GOODNIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 672 00:40:32,697 --> 00:41:01,458 ♪ ♪