1 00:00:00,470 --> 00:00:04,241 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! 2 00:00:04,241 --> 00:00:08,612 TONIGHT ‐‐ KEVIN BACON. TRAVON FREE. AND MUSIC FROM DAYA. 3 00:00:08,612 --> 00:00:14,785 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:17,354 >> Jimmy: HI THERE, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST. 5 00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:20,490 THANKS FOR WATCHING. THANKS FOR JOINING US AT OUR 6 00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:23,760 HOME AWAY FROM WORK FROM HOME. LET'S HEAR IT FOR DOGS, 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:24,093 EVERYBODY. 8 00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:31,969 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 9 00:00:31,969 --> 00:00:33,198 SOME WEIRD STUFF GOES ON HERE BEFORE THE SHOW. 10 00:00:33,198 --> 00:00:35,667 [ LAUGHTER ] 11 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:38,169 I HAVE SOME INTERESTING HEALTH NEWS TO REPORT. 12 00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:44,409 THERE IS A GREAT NEW WAY TO GET THE VACCINE, ANYBODY CAN GET IT, 13 00:00:44,409 --> 00:00:45,310 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MOVE TO ALASKA. 14 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,279 AS OF LAST NIGHT, ALASKA BECAME THE FIRST STATE TO OFFER THE 15 00:00:47,279 --> 00:00:51,091 VACCINE TO EVERY RESIDENT OVER THE AGE OF 16. 16 00:00:51,091 --> 00:00:53,526 WHICH, OF ALL PLACES, THE ONE STATE WHERE EVERYONE IS ALREADY 17 00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:55,161 SOCIALLY DISTANT. 18 00:00:55,161 --> 00:00:55,628 [ LAUGHTER ] 19 00:00:55,628 --> 00:00:59,899 PEOPLE MOVE TO ALASKA JUST TO BE SIX FEET APART. 20 00:00:59,899 --> 00:01:04,637 BUT THEY HAD A BIG LEG UP ON EVERYONE ELSE, FIRST BECAUSE THE 21 00:01:04,637 --> 00:01:06,706 POPULATION IS LOW, AND SECONDLY, THE VACCINES DON'T GO BAD WHEN 22 00:01:06,706 --> 00:01:08,541 YOUR WHOLE STATE IS A FREEZER. 23 00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:09,142 [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:01:09,142 --> 00:01:13,113 SO, GOOD FOR THEM. ON THE OPPOSITE END OF THE 25 00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,582 PANDEMIC SPECTRUM, TEXAS IS OPENING THEIR LUNGS UP TO ALL 26 00:01:15,582 --> 00:01:20,520 THE COVID YOU CAN BREATHE. TEXAS TODAY LIFTED THEIR 27 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,489 STATE‐WIDE MASK MANDATE. GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT SAID HE WAS 28 00:01:22,489 --> 00:01:25,024 LIFTING THE MANDATE AGAINST THE ADVICE OF HIS OWN HEALTH EXPERTS 29 00:01:25,024 --> 00:01:28,328 BECAUSE "BUSINESSES AND FAMILIES IN TEXAS HAVE THE FREEDOM TO 30 00:01:28,328 --> 00:01:32,632 DETERMINE THEIR OWN DESTINY." UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE A 31 00:01:32,632 --> 00:01:35,969 WOMAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT. 32 00:01:35,969 --> 00:01:38,638 THEN WE WILL DECIDE FOR YOU. 33 00:01:38,638 --> 00:01:40,273 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 34 00:01:40,273 --> 00:01:41,741 AT THE CAPITOL IN AUSTIN, THEY DECLARED "TRANSMISSION 35 00:01:41,741 --> 00:01:43,042 ACCOMPLISHED." 36 00:01:43,042 --> 00:01:45,745 [ LAUGHTER ] 37 00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:49,482 THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS. THIS DECISION, IT ALMOST MAKES 38 00:01:49,482 --> 00:01:50,350 YOU SUSPECT FLORIDA WAS INVOLVED SOMEHOW. 39 00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:51,618 [ LAUGHTER ] 40 00:01:51,618 --> 00:01:55,155 THIS IS THE WAY NEW VARIANTS REAR THEIR UGLY HEADS. 41 00:01:55,155 --> 00:01:59,159 AND WHY IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO WEAR A MASK IN PUBLIC, I HAVE NO 42 00:01:59,159 --> 00:02:01,895 IDEA. I MEAN, IF TEXANS HAVE THE FREEDOM TO DETERMINE THEIR OWN 43 00:02:01,895 --> 00:02:04,497 DESTINY, BY THIS LOGIC, SHOULDN'T SMOKING BE OKAY 44 00:02:04,497 --> 00:02:06,833 INDOORS TOO? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 45 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:09,936 OH, I KNOW, SMOKE SMELLS. AND COVID DOESN'T. 46 00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:10,637 [ LAUGHTER ] 47 00:02:10,637 --> 00:02:12,138 THIS WAS THE SCENE IN AUSTIN TODAY, WHERE THE BARS ARE RIGHT 48 00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:15,208 BACK AT IT. 49 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:19,512 >> TODAY IS THE DAY, TEXAS BUSINESSES CAN REOPEN TO FULL 50 00:02:19,512 --> 00:02:22,115 CAPACITY. PEOPLE ARE ALREADY TAKING 51 00:02:22,115 --> 00:02:23,483 ADVANTAGE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS VIDEO FROM 52 00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:24,651 EARLIER THIS MORNING. 53 00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:25,151 >> Jimmy: THIS MORNING? 54 00:02:25,151 --> 00:02:28,121 [ LAUGHTER ] 55 00:02:28,121 --> 00:02:31,724 THEY COULDN'T WAIT 'TIL NIGHT? THEY HAD TO GO THIS MORNING? 56 00:02:31,724 --> 00:02:34,427 THE FOLKS AT FOX WERE UP BRIGHT AND EARLY THIS MORNING TOO TO 57 00:02:34,427 --> 00:02:36,896 CAPTURE THE MOOD AT A LOCAL DINER IN McKINNEY, TEXAS. 58 00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:38,932 THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS THEY DO ON FOX NEWS. 59 00:02:38,932 --> 00:02:39,999 THEY SEND A GUY WITH A MICROPHONE TO BOTHER WHITE 60 00:02:39,999 --> 00:02:43,603 PEOPLE WHILE THEY EAT. 61 00:02:43,603 --> 00:02:46,673 >> RIGHT NOW IN TEXAS THESE BUSINESSES CAN SAVE THEMSELVES. 62 00:02:46,673 --> 00:02:48,208 LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT 100% CAPACITY LOOKS LIKE. 63 00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:51,244 THIS IS FREEDOM RIGHT HERE. 64 00:02:51,244 --> 00:02:51,577 [ LAUGHTER ] 65 00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,279 >> Jimmy: REALLY? TO ME IT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF 66 00:02:53,279 --> 00:02:54,747 PEOPLE WAITING FOR BISCUITS AND GRAVY, BUT OKAY. 67 00:02:54,747 --> 00:02:59,619 WHY IS THIS SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE? 68 00:02:59,619 --> 00:03:01,387 528,000 OF OUR FELLOW CITIZENS ARE DEAD. FROM COVID. 69 00:03:01,387 --> 00:03:05,892 MILLIONS ARE OUT OF WORK. THE HOUSE TODAY PASSED THE 70 00:03:05,892 --> 00:03:09,262 PRESIDENT'S $1.9 TRILLION COVID RELIEF BILL. 71 00:03:09,262 --> 00:03:14,934 IT WILL PROVIDE AID TO MILLIONS, IT WILL CUT THE POFSHTY RATE FOR 72 00:03:14,934 --> 00:03:18,004 CHILDREN IN HALF, IT WILL GIVE AMERICANS MORE ACCESS TO HEALTH 73 00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:18,838 CARE AND BOOST THE VACCINATION RATE. 74 00:03:18,838 --> 00:03:20,006 SO NATURALLY, REPUBLICANS ARE AGAINST IT. 75 00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:23,009 NO REPUBLICANS VOTED FOR THE BILL IN THE HOUSE OR THE SENATE. 76 00:03:23,009 --> 00:03:26,312 EVEN THOUGH MORE THAN 70% OF AMERICANS SUPPORT IT. 77 00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:31,117 THE ONLY OTHER BILL 70% OF AMERICANS SUPPORT IS MURRAY. 78 00:03:31,117 --> 00:03:31,450 [ LAUGHTER ] 79 00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:35,455 IT'S VERY RARE TO HAVE THAT, BUT REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS CAN'T 80 00:03:35,455 --> 00:03:38,858 SUPPORT IT BECAUSE DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS DO SUPPORT IT. 81 00:03:38,858 --> 00:03:41,861 IF A METEOR WAS HURTLING TOWARD EARTH AND CHUCK SCHUMER SAID 82 00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:43,263 "WE'VE GOT TO STOP IT," MITCH McCONNELL WOULD BE LIKE 83 00:03:43,263 --> 00:03:46,165 "NO, WE DON'T." 84 00:03:46,165 --> 00:03:48,968 [ LAUGHTER ] 85 00:03:48,968 --> 00:03:51,905 "COULD LEAD TO SOCIALISM." NOW THAT THE COVID RELIEF 86 00:03:51,905 --> 00:03:53,239 PACKAGE IS COMING, THE NEXT FIGHT WILL BE OVER VOTING RIGHTS. 87 00:03:53,239 --> 00:03:54,374 HR‐1 PASSED IN THE HOUSE LAST WEEK. 88 00:03:54,374 --> 00:03:55,975 THIS IS A BILL THAT WOULD EXPAND VOTING RIGHTS AND REFORM 89 00:03:55,975 --> 00:03:59,612 REDISTRICTING LAWS. REPUBLICANS IN THE SENATE DON'T 90 00:03:59,612 --> 00:04:03,182 LIKE THAT, BECAUSE IT LIMITS THEIR ABILITY TO PREVENT POOR 91 00:04:03,182 --> 00:04:05,151 PEOPLE FROM VOTING, AND NO ONE IS MORE UPSET ABOUT IT THAN UTAH 92 00:04:05,151 --> 00:04:09,188 SENATOR MIKE LEE. 93 00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:11,658 >> EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BILL IS ROTTEN TO THE CORE. 94 00:04:11,658 --> 00:04:13,660 THIS IS A BILL AS IF WRITTEN IN. 95 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,262 [ LAUGHTER ] 96 00:04:16,262 --> 00:04:21,668 >> Jimmy: THE DEVIL IS NOT IN HELL WRITING BILLS. 97 00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:22,969 THE DEVIL IS AT MAR‐A‐LAGO EATING FRIGHT CHICKEN. 98 00:04:22,969 --> 00:04:26,372 [ APPLAUSE ] 99 00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:29,475 WE ARE APPROACHING ONE YEAR OF THE LOCKDOWN NOW, WHICH WE ARE 100 00:04:29,475 --> 00:04:30,843 GOING TO COMMEMORATE TOMORROW NIGHT. 101 00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:36,883 WE HAVE OUR FIRST AND HOPEFULLY ONLY CORONA‐VERSARY SPECIAL 102 00:04:36,883 --> 00:04:41,054 TOMORROW NIGHT. WITH JOEL McHALE, WITH PETE BULE 103 00:04:41,054 --> 00:04:42,956 JUDGE, SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION, MUSIC FROM ADAM 104 00:04:42,956 --> 00:04:49,796 DURITZ FROM COUNTING CROWS. WE'VE BEEN LOOKING BACK AT WHAT 105 00:04:49,796 --> 00:04:51,064 WAS GOING ON WHEN THE PANDEMIC BEGAN, AND WE DUG SOMETHING UP. 106 00:04:51,064 --> 00:04:52,265 ONE YEAR AGO TONIGHT, RIGHT BEFORE THE STAY AT HOME ORDERS 107 00:04:52,265 --> 00:04:54,667 HIT, WE WENT OUT ON THE STREET AND ASKED PEOPLE PASSING BY OUR 108 00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:57,737 STUDIO TO TELL US WHAT THEY KNEW ABOUT THIS NEW CORONAVIRUS. 109 00:04:57,737 --> 00:05:04,177 AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SAID ON MARCH 10th OF LAST YEAR. 110 00:05:04,177 --> 00:05:06,446 >> WE'RE OUT HERE TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS. 111 00:05:06,446 --> 00:05:08,915 >> OH, OKAY, YEAH. 112 00:05:08,915 --> 00:05:10,016 >> SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 113 00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,952 >> I KNOW THAT IT'S BAD. 114 00:05:12,952 --> 00:05:18,224 >> I KNOW IT'S NEW. UM ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN 115 00:05:18,224 --> 00:05:23,029 DRINK SOUP AND IT WILL GO AWAY, IT SEEMS TO BE VERY POPULAR. 116 00:05:23,029 --> 00:05:26,866 >> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS? 117 00:05:26,866 --> 00:05:29,969 >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT, EXPLAIN TO IT ME. 118 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:31,004 >> EXPLAIN IT TO ME. 119 00:05:31,004 --> 00:05:33,339 >> I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT A CORONAVIRUS WHAT DOES IT DO? 120 00:05:33,339 --> 00:05:36,676 >> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS? 121 00:05:36,676 --> 00:05:40,513 >> WE'VE BEEN GIVING THAT SHOT TO OUR CATTLE FOR YEARS, 122 00:05:40,513 --> 00:05:43,383 CORONAVIRUS VACCINE FOR CATTLE, IT'S BEEN AROUND FOREVER. 123 00:05:43,383 --> 00:05:46,586 IF YOU ATE CATTLE CUBES WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND LICKED SALT, 124 00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:47,420 YOU'RE SAFE. 125 00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:49,322 >> HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THE CORONAVIRUS? 126 00:05:49,322 --> 00:05:50,957 >> LIKE A MILLION? I DON'T KNOW, BUT A LOT. 127 00:05:50,957 --> 00:05:54,293 >> I KNOW IT MAKES YOU COUGH AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE PNEUMONIA. 128 00:05:54,293 --> 00:05:55,695 >> HOW IS IT DIFFERENT FROM PNEUMONIA? 129 00:05:55,695 --> 00:05:58,831 >> I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S JUST WHAT MY DAD SAID. 130 00:05:58,831 --> 00:06:00,867 >> WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO STOCK UP ON? 131 00:06:00,867 --> 00:06:06,706 >> UH ‐‐ I LIKE WINE AND TOILET PAPER. 132 00:06:06,706 --> 00:06:07,173 [ LAUGHTER ] 133 00:06:07,173 --> 00:06:07,506 AND SOAP. 134 00:06:07,506 --> 00:06:10,476 >> DO YOU THINK THAT WE SHOULD BE SCARED? 135 00:06:10,476 --> 00:06:13,846 >> IF YOU'RE NASTY, YOU SHOULD BE. IF YOU'RE NOT WASHING YOUR 136 00:06:13,846 --> 00:06:18,651 HANDS, TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, BEING CLEAN, NOT COVERING YOUR 137 00:06:18,651 --> 00:06:21,421 MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH AND SNEEZE, IF YOU'RE LETTING THAT FLOW OUT 138 00:06:21,421 --> 00:06:23,356 IN THE AIR, THEN YOU SHOULD BE SCARED. 139 00:06:23,356 --> 00:06:25,892 BECAUSE I GOT A ROOMMATE, HE NEVER COUGHERS HIS COUGH. 140 00:06:25,892 --> 00:06:29,896 I GOT TO CALL HIM OUT, "BOY, COVER YOUR MOETH." 141 00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:31,230 I HAVE TO LIVE ON HIM. 142 00:06:31,230 --> 00:06:33,800 >> CAN YOU TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS? 143 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:40,139 >> I'M NOT TOO WORRIED ABOUT IT, THE PRESIDENT SAID IT'S NGOING O 144 00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,942 GO AWAY, IT'S NOT THAT CRITICAL A DEAL. 145 00:06:42,942 --> 00:06:43,275 [ APPLAUSE ] 146 00:06:43,275 --> 00:06:45,144 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, HE'S RIGHT. DONALD TRUMP CRAWLED OUT OF HIS 147 00:06:45,144 --> 00:06:49,282 HOLE TODAY. HE PUT OUT A BOOZY OF A 148 00:06:49,282 --> 00:06:52,051 STATEMENT ON HIS OFFICIAL LETTERHEAD. 149 00:06:52,051 --> 00:06:55,288 "I HOPE EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHEN THEY'RE GETTING THE COVID‐19 150 00:06:55,288 --> 00:07:01,194 OFTEN REFERRED TO AS THE CHINA VIRUS VACCINE, THAT IF I WASN'T 151 00:07:01,194 --> 00:07:02,428 PRESIDENT YOU WOULDN'T BE GETTING THAT BEAUTIFUL SHOT FOR 152 00:07:02,428 --> 00:07:04,297 FIVE YEARS AT BEST AND PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE GETTING IT AT ALL. 153 00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:05,865 I HOPE EVERYONE REMEMBERS." 154 00:07:05,865 --> 00:07:09,435 [ LAUGHTER ] 155 00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:10,536 DO YOU REMEMBER HIM, GUILLERMO? 156 00:07:10,536 --> 00:07:11,671 >> Guillermo: YEAH, HE'S 157 00:07:11,671 --> 00:07:12,605 [ BLEEP ] CRAZY. 158 00:07:12,605 --> 00:07:12,972 [ LAUGHTER ] 159 00:07:12,972 --> 00:07:16,175 >> Jimmy: YEAH. HERE IN L. A., KIDS COULD BE BACK 160 00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:18,478 IN SCHOOL FOR REAL NEXT MONTH. RIGHT NOW THE PLAN IS FOR 161 00:07:18,478 --> 00:07:23,216 SCHOOLS TO BE OPEN BY MID‐APRIL. AND THEN I GUESS SHUT DOWN AGAIN 162 00:07:23,216 --> 00:07:24,951 IN MAY IS USUALLY HOW IT GOES. 163 00:07:24,951 --> 00:07:25,284 [ LAUGHTER ] 164 00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:28,287 THIS WILL BE WELCOME NEWS FOR PARENTS, FOR KIDS, FOR POLICE 165 00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:33,793 WHO HAVE BEEN SHORT OF NERD LUNCH MONEY FOR ALMOST A YEAR 166 00:07:33,793 --> 00:07:35,561 NOW. REMOTE LEARNING IS THE BEST WE 167 00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:38,531 CAN DO, I GUESS. AND I BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN ARE 168 00:07:38,531 --> 00:07:40,533 OUR ‐‐ WHAT, GUILLERMO? 169 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,067 >> Guillermo: OUR FUTURE. 170 00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:41,567 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. 171 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:45,872 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 172 00:07:45,872 --> 00:07:48,875 WE DID SOMETHING FUN, BY GOT IN TOUCH WITH A SCHOOL IN MY 173 00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:51,544 HOMETOWN OF LAS VEGAS. ELLIS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. 174 00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:55,481 WHERE THEY WERE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO LET ME BE A SUBSTITUTE 175 00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:56,048 TEACHER FOR A FOURTH GRADE 176 00:07:56,048 --> 00:08:03,856 CLASS. 177 00:08:03,856 --> 00:08:07,760 >> ALL RIGHT, I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, 178 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,829 MUTE YOURSELVES. I HAVE AN EMERGENCY AND I HAVE 179 00:08:09,829 --> 00:08:14,500 TO GO, BUT I HAVE A VERY GREAT SUBSTITUTE THAT'S GOING TO TAKE 180 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,604 OVER CLASS. AND I WILL SEE YOU ON MONDAY, 181 00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:19,172 BYE! 182 00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:20,239 >> BYE! 183 00:08:20,239 --> 00:08:24,410 >> BYE, MS. OJEDA. HELLO, CHILDREN. 184 00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:27,513 I'M MR. KOTTER, HOW ARE YOU? 185 00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:28,080 >> GOOD. 186 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,416 >> Jimmy: I KNOW IT'S RESPECT WEEK, RIGHT? 187 00:08:30,416 --> 00:08:32,685 IS THIS RESPECT WEEK? LET'S START RESPECT WEEK BY 188 00:08:32,685 --> 00:08:36,355 GOING AROUND THE CLASS, SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT ME, OKAY? 189 00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:38,257 WE'LL START WITH CHASE. CHASE, GO AHEAD. 190 00:08:38,257 --> 00:08:41,661 >> UM ‐‐ YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AFRO. 191 00:08:41,661 --> 00:08:42,028 [ LAUGHTER ] 192 00:08:42,028 --> 00:08:44,263 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, CHASE. KYLE? 193 00:08:44,263 --> 00:08:45,097 >> NICE TIE. 194 00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:49,769 >> Jimmy: OH, THANKS. MASON WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT ME? 195 00:08:49,769 --> 00:08:55,875 >> I LIKE YOUR NAME. NAME. I ALSO LOVE THAT GENERIC 196 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:59,679 "FOOTBALL" PHOTOGRAPH YOU HAVE HANGING IN YOUR ROOM. 197 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:00,012 [ LAUGHTER ] 198 00:09:00,012 --> 00:09:00,345 KENO? 199 00:09:00,345 --> 00:09:01,280 >> YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME. 200 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,249 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. YOU LIVE IN LAS VEGAS AND YOUR 201 00:09:03,249 --> 00:09:06,252 PARENTS NAMED YOU KENO? 202 00:09:06,252 --> 00:09:07,854 >> IT'S KEANO. 203 00:09:07,854 --> 00:09:12,892 >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. TELL THAT TO THE PEOPLE AT THE 204 00:09:12,892 --> 00:09:14,493 CASINO. MYKEDO? 205 00:09:14,493 --> 00:09:15,795 >> I LIKE THE CLOCK IN THE BACKGROUND. 206 00:09:15,795 --> 00:09:17,630 >> Jimmy: OH. YEAH. THAT'S A PROP. 207 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:18,497 [ LAUGHTER ] 208 00:09:18,497 --> 00:09:24,136 AVA? GO AHEAD, CLOSE IT OUT WITH SOMETHING REALLY GREAT ABOUT ME. 209 00:09:24,136 --> 00:09:25,238 >> YOU'RE VERY FUNNY. 210 00:09:25,238 --> 00:09:27,940 >> Jimmy: OH, THANK YOU, AVA, I APPRECIATE THAT. 211 00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:30,576 BUT WE'RE NOT HERE TO LAUGH TODAY, WE'RE HERE TO LEARN. 212 00:09:30,576 --> 00:09:34,480 AND WE'RE HERE TO LEARN ABOUT MATH. 213 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,915 NOW SOME MATH PROBLEMS ARE JUST NUMBERS. 214 00:09:35,915 --> 00:09:40,219 BUT I LIKE TO PUT A STORY ALONG WITH THE MATH PROBLEMS. 215 00:09:40,219 --> 00:09:44,123 A MAN NAMED TED HAS 20 PEANUTS AND EATS HALF OF THEM. 216 00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:49,462 HOW MANY PEANUTS DOES TED HAVE? 217 00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:49,896 >> 10. 218 00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:53,199 >> Jimmy: YOU'D THINK THAT NORMALLY 10 WOULD BE THE CORRECT 219 00:09:53,199 --> 00:09:55,568 ANSWER. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, TED CHOKED ON 220 00:09:55,568 --> 00:10:01,140 ONE OF THE PEANUTS. AND HE'S DEAD. 221 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:01,473 [ LAUGHTER ] 222 00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:03,643 SO REALLY, HE HAS NO PEANUTS AT ALL. 223 00:10:03,643 --> 00:10:06,112 THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PEANUTS. 224 00:10:06,112 --> 00:10:08,381 >> THAT WAS DARK. 225 00:10:08,381 --> 00:10:13,552 >> Jimmy: SHOULD WE DO SOME MORE MATH? YES? OKAY. 226 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:18,291 IF I ORDER A SOY LATTE AND THE BARISTA CHARGES ME $4, AND I 227 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:23,329 GIVE THE BARISTA A $1 TIP, BUT THEN THE BARISTA TELLS ME 228 00:10:23,329 --> 00:10:27,533 THEY'RE OUT OF SOY AND GIVES ME BACK $4, SHOULD I GET BACK THAT 229 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:31,771 $1 TIP? 230 00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:32,104 [ LAUGHTER ] 231 00:10:32,104 --> 00:10:32,571 NICK? 232 00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:33,472 >> YES. 233 00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:35,274 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, NICK. I SHOULD GET BACK THAT $1 TIP. 234 00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:42,248 AND YET I DIDN'T. VERY ANNOYING. DO YOU GUYS FEEL LIKE YOU'RE 235 00:10:42,248 --> 00:10:43,683 LEARNING? 236 00:10:43,683 --> 00:10:44,016 [ LAUGHTER ] 237 00:10:44,016 --> 00:10:49,855 NO? OH, OKAY. HEY, DO YOU WANT TO MEET MY PET? 238 00:10:49,855 --> 00:10:51,357 >> I'M A PARROT. 239 00:10:51,357 --> 00:10:53,059 >> Jimmy: WE CALL HIM MR. CRACKERS. 240 00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:55,861 >> I WANT TO HAVE A CIGARETTE, CAN I HAVE A CIGARETTE? 241 00:10:55,861 --> 00:10:57,363 >> NO! 242 00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:57,797 >> NO! 243 00:10:57,797 --> 00:11:01,100 >> WE'RE KIDS! WE DON'T NEED IT! 244 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,869 >> Jimmy: KIDS DON'T LIKE CIGARETTES, MR. CRACKERS. 245 00:11:03,869 --> 00:11:04,270 >> OH. 246 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:07,707 >> Jimmy: DOES ANYONE HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. CRACKERS? 247 00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:12,511 YES, KYLIE? 248 00:11:12,511 --> 00:11:18,384 >> DO YOU THINK MR. KOTTER IS A GOOD OWNER? 249 00:11:18,384 --> 00:11:18,918 >> Jimmy: OH. 250 00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:22,788 >> MR. KOTTER STOLE ME FROM MY REAL OWNER. I MISS MY FAMILY. 251 00:11:22,788 --> 00:11:23,723 >> Jimmy: I ADOPTED HIM. 252 00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:24,924 >> I MISS MY FAMILY. 253 00:11:24,924 --> 00:11:27,927 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TRUE, I DID NOT STEAL HIM FROM HIS REAL 254 00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:31,797 OWNER. DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE A QUESTION? YES, CHASE? 255 00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:35,835 >> IS MR. KOTTER MEAN TO YOU? 256 00:11:35,835 --> 00:11:40,106 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF QUESTIONS ARE THESE? 257 00:11:40,106 --> 00:11:45,678 >> MR. KOTTER FEEDS ME GAS STATION SUSHI, IT GIVES ME 258 00:11:45,678 --> 00:11:49,148 DIARRHEA. WHO WANTS TO HEAR A SONG? 259 00:11:49,148 --> 00:11:53,419 >> Jimmy: BE IN WANT TO HEAR A SONG? 260 00:11:53,419 --> 00:11:54,286 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE SITTING ON ZOOM 261 00:11:54,286 --> 00:11:56,155 AND YOU GOT TO MAKE A BOOM ♪ 262 00:11:56,155 --> 00:11:59,358 ♪ DIARRHEA DIARRHEA 263 00:11:59,358 --> 00:12:03,696 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE SCARED OF CORONA 264 00:12:03,696 --> 00:12:06,632 AND YOUR BUTT SMELLS LIKE BOLOGNA ♪ 265 00:12:06,632 --> 00:12:12,238 ♪ DIARRHEA DIARRHEA 266 00:12:12,238 --> 00:12:13,239 >> Jimmy: I TAUGHT HIM THAT SONG. 267 00:12:13,239 --> 00:12:14,407 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE SITTING IN CLASS 268 00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:18,077 AND STUFF COMES OUT YOUR ♪ 269 00:12:18,077 --> 00:12:22,615 >> Jimmy: MR. CRACKERS, I TOLD YOU WE CAN'T USE LANGUAGE LIKE 270 00:12:22,615 --> 00:12:22,980 THAT. 271 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:23,382 >> SO IMMATURE. 272 00:12:23,382 --> 00:12:24,183 >> Jimmy: VERY IMMATURE. 273 00:12:24,183 --> 00:12:26,118 >> MY PARENTS WERE CAUGHT BY POACHERS. 274 00:12:26,118 --> 00:12:29,455 >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO TELL ME ONE THING THAT 275 00:12:29,455 --> 00:12:31,157 BOTHERS YOU ABOUT ONE OF YOUR PARENTS. 276 00:12:31,157 --> 00:12:34,427 KYLE, GO AHEAD, WE'LL BEGIN WITH YOU. 277 00:12:34,427 --> 00:12:37,863 >> THE ANNOYING THING ABOUT MY PARENTS IS THAT THEY ALWAYS SAY 278 00:12:37,863 --> 00:12:39,098 THEY LOVE ME. 279 00:12:39,098 --> 00:12:41,300 >> Jimmy: I KNOW. LUCKILY MY PARENTS NEVER, EVER 280 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,003 SAID THAT, SO I WAS NEVER, EVER ANNOYED. 281 00:12:44,003 --> 00:12:44,637 [ LAUGHTER ] 282 00:12:44,637 --> 00:12:45,002 NICK? 283 00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:46,872 >> MY PARENTS WON'T LET ME WATCH FOOTBALL. 284 00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:49,642 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE THEY, COMMUNISTS? 285 00:12:49,642 --> 00:12:49,975 [ LAUGHTER ] 286 00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:50,309 >> I DON'T KNOW. 287 00:12:50,309 --> 00:12:53,546 >> Jimmy: MAYA? YES, GO AHEAD. 288 00:12:53,546 --> 00:12:55,748 >> THEY NEVER LET ME HAVE CANDY. 289 00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:59,718 >> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF CANDY DO YOU LOVE? 290 00:12:59,718 --> 00:13:01,287 >> HARD CANDY. 291 00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:02,221 >> Jimmy: HARD CANDY? LIKE AN OLD LADY? 292 00:13:02,221 --> 00:13:05,624 [ LAUGHTER ] 293 00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:10,996 YOU WANT SOME LOZENGES? DO YOU KNOW THE WORD LOZENGE? 294 00:13:10,996 --> 00:13:11,697 >> NO. 295 00:13:11,697 --> 00:13:18,257 >> Jimmy: LET ME SPELL IT FOR YOU. L‐O‐Z‐E‐N‐G‐E. 296 00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:23,863 LOZENGE. OKAY? 297 00:13:23,863 --> 00:13:25,383 >> I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. MR. KOTTER MAKES ME SLEEP IN THE 298 00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:28,917 MICROWAVE AND DETAIL HIS CAR. 299 00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,686 >> Jimmy: THAT'S ALL TRUE, YEAH. 300 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:33,155 >> AND SOMETIMES HE TAKES A LOZENGE AND HE SHOVES IT RIGHT 301 00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:34,590 UP ‐‐ 302 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:37,126 >> Jimmy: OKAY, MR. CRACKERS. KIDS, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO 303 00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:40,162 HAVE TO END THE LESSON NOW. BEFORE WE END THE CLASS, DOES 304 00:13:40,162 --> 00:13:45,400 ANYBODY WANT TO SHARE ANYTHING THAT THEY LEARNED TODAY? 305 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,202 YES, MYKEDA? 306 00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,838 >> THAT THIS CLASS IS VERY WEIRD. 307 00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:52,641 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD. ALL RIGHT. 308 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,977 SAY GOOD‐BYE TO MR. CRACKERS, EVERYBODY. 309 00:13:54,977 --> 00:13:57,880 >> BYE, MR. CRACKERS! 310 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,313 >> BYE! 311 00:13:58,313 --> 00:13:59,781 ♪ WHEN IT'S TIME FOR US TO QUIT 312 00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:02,451 AND I GOT TO TAKE A ‐‐ 313 00:14:02,451 --> 00:14:08,023 >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY, I TOLD YOU, YOU CAN'T USE LANGUAGE LIKE THAT. 314 00:14:08,023 --> 00:14:08,790 ♪ DIARRHEA DIARRHEA 315 00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:09,124 [ LAUGHTER ] 316 00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:10,859 >> Jimmy: OKAY, BYE, KIDS! 317 00:14:10,859 --> 00:14:14,229 ♪ WELCOME BACK 318 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:14,730 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 319 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:18,467 >> Jimmy: THANKS, KIDS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 320 00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:20,702 TONIGHT. TRAVON FREE IS HERE, WE'VE GOT 321 00:14:20,702 --> 00:14:23,560 MUSIC FROM DAYA, AND BE RIGHT BACK WITH KEVIN BACON! 322 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:27,490 ♪ 323 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:32,795 >> Jimmy: HI, WE ARE BACK. TONIGHT, HIS CRITICALLY 324 00:14:32,795 --> 00:14:37,266 ACCLAIMED SHORT FILM IS CALLED "TWO DISTANT STRANGERS." 325 00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:37,766 TRAVON FREE IS WITH US. 326 00:14:37,766 --> 00:14:39,969 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 327 00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:41,003 THEN, LATER, A GRAMMY WINNER FROM PITTSBURGH, PA. 328 00:14:41,003 --> 00:14:44,540 HER SONG IS CALLED "BAD GIRL." MUSIC FROM DAYA. 329 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:45,074 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 330 00:14:45,074 --> 00:14:48,210 TOMORROW NIGHT, OUR SPECIAL ONE‐YEAR CORONAVIRUS ANNIVERSARY 331 00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:53,015 SHOW WITH JOEL McHALE, PETE BUTTIGIEG, AND MUSIC FROM ADAM 332 00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:54,116 DUR RITES SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. 333 00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:55,151 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 334 00:14:55,151 --> 00:14:59,555 OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS IN THE BUSINESS WITH 335 00:14:59,555 --> 00:15:01,524 MOVIES, TELEVISION APPEARANCES, AND A WIFE NAMED KYRA SEDGWICK 336 00:15:01,524 --> 00:15:03,659 TO PROVE IT. THE SECOND SEASON OF HIS SHOW 337 00:15:03,659 --> 00:15:08,531 "CITY ON A HILL" PREMIERES MARCH 28th ON SHOWTIME, PLEASE 338 00:15:08,531 --> 00:15:10,699 WELCOME KEVIN BACON. 339 00:15:10,699 --> 00:15:11,200 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 340 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:24,947 ♪ 341 00:15:24,947 --> 00:15:26,348 >> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? 342 00:15:26,348 --> 00:15:28,584 >> GOOD, IT'S GOOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE IN 343 00:15:28,584 --> 00:15:28,949 STUDIO. 344 00:15:28,949 --> 00:15:32,021 >> Jimmy: I KNOW, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, I HAVEN' SEEN YOU IN 345 00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:32,688 A WHILE. 346 00:15:32,688 --> 00:15:37,259 >> I KNOW, I KNOW. 347 00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:38,661 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN VACC VACCINATED? 348 00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:42,498 >> I'M KIND OF IN THE SWEET SPOT OF AGE WHERE THAT'S KIND OF AN 349 00:15:42,498 --> 00:15:43,999 INSULTING QUESTION. 350 00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:44,333 [ LAUGHTER ] 351 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:48,437 PEOPLE ASK THAT, I SAY TO MYSELF, I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO 352 00:15:48,437 --> 00:15:52,575 MY ROB LOWE SKIN ROUTINE, I DON'T KNOW. 353 00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:52,908 [ LAUGHTER ] 354 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,811 DO THESE CAMERASES TOUCH UP MY APPEARANCE? 355 00:15:55,811 --> 00:15:58,647 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, YOU'LL PROBABLY LOOK BETTER IN PERSON 356 00:15:58,647 --> 00:15:59,081 THAN ON TV. 357 00:15:59,081 --> 00:16:01,350 >> I LOVE THAT THING, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU. 358 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:03,152 I'M REALLY HAPPY TO BE SEEING YOU IN PERSON. 359 00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:05,054 >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, BY THE WAY, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 360 00:16:05,054 --> 00:16:08,524 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 361 00:16:08,524 --> 00:16:09,858 >> LISTEN. BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. 362 00:16:09,858 --> 00:16:12,628 SOMETIMES THERE'S LIKE AN EARLY‐MORNING ZOOM, YOU GOT A 363 00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:15,397 LITTLE BIT OF THE DON JULIO FLU. 364 00:16:15,397 --> 00:16:15,731 [ LAUGHTER ] 365 00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:21,203 WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT TOUCH UP MY APPEARANCE THING, I WAS LIKE, 366 00:16:21,203 --> 00:16:24,573 THIS IS BANGING. I WOULD DIAL THAT [ BLEEP ] 367 00:16:24,573 --> 00:16:28,043 RIGHT UP TO 11. AM I CRAZY? TELL ME IF I'M WRONG, IT SEEMED 368 00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:32,448 LIKE ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE PANDEMIC, ZOOM DECIDED THAT THEY 369 00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:35,084 WANTED TO ‐‐ YOU HAD A MANUAL OPTION, RIGHT? 370 00:16:35,084 --> 00:16:35,718 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 371 00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:39,421 >> SO YOU COULD JUST SLIDE IT AND THEN SAY, NO, THAT'S NOW 372 00:16:39,421 --> 00:16:41,957 LOOKING TOO MUCH LIKE THE GIRLS IN "FROZEN." 373 00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:42,291 [ LAUGHTER ] 374 00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:46,028 I WANT TO GO BACK A LITTLE BIT AND FIND WHAT SOMEBODY'S GOING 375 00:16:46,028 --> 00:16:47,830 TO BUY WITHIN THE REALM OF REALITY. 376 00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:50,699 >> Jimmy: I CAN BARELY GET MY MICROPHONE ON, I DON'T KNOW HOW 377 00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:52,034 ANY OF THAT STUFF WORKS. 378 00:16:52,034 --> 00:16:55,037 >> I'VE CLEARLY SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON ZOOM, I'M SO HAPPY 379 00:16:55,037 --> 00:16:56,305 TO BE HERE. 380 00:16:56,305 --> 00:16:56,805 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 381 00:16:56,805 --> 00:16:58,474 >> Jimmy: I KNOW, HERE WE ARE IN HUMAN FORM. 382 00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:01,443 YOU KNOW, YOU SAY ‐‐ I THINK MAYBE YOU'RE BEING 383 00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,879 SELF‐CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE ASKING HAVE YOU BEEN 384 00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:06,715 VACCINATED BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE. BUT I THINK IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE 385 00:17:06,715 --> 00:17:08,384 WITHIN SIX DEGREES OF EVERYBODY. 386 00:17:08,384 --> 00:17:08,717 [ LAUGHTER ] 387 00:17:08,717 --> 00:17:12,955 IF YOU WERE TO GET ANY KIND OF A DISEASE, LIKE HALF OF HOLLYWOOD 388 00:17:12,955 --> 00:17:16,125 WOULD BE GONE. IT WOULD BE WIPED OUT. 389 00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:19,762 >> JIMMY, I SAID TO KYRA, I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY THE 390 00:17:19,762 --> 00:17:22,231 VACCINATION ISN'T ACCORDING TO YOUR IMDB STAR METER. 391 00:17:22,231 --> 00:17:24,767 [ LAUGHTER ] 392 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:27,369 I MEAN, FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FAMILIAR, THAT'S THE PLACE WHERE 393 00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:28,804 YOU CAN GO EVERY DAY AND SEE HOW FAMOUS YOU ARE. 394 00:17:28,804 --> 00:17:31,507 [ LAUGHTER ] 395 00:17:31,507 --> 00:17:34,476 THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD TO DO, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE 396 00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:38,213 HOVERING AROUND, LIKE, 1,400, 1,500? 397 00:17:38,213 --> 00:17:42,551 IT'S LIKE, YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY, BUT THEN YOU GO [ BLEEP ], 398 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:43,786 1,500 PEOPLE THAT ARE MORE FAMOUS THAN ME. 399 00:17:43,786 --> 00:17:46,322 [ LAUGHTER ] 400 00:17:46,322 --> 00:17:48,691 IT CAN REALLY BE HEARTBREAKING. THN IT CAN DROP THE NEXT DAY. 401 00:17:48,691 --> 00:17:53,495 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. DROP PRECIPITOUS WHY I FOR SURE. 402 00:17:53,495 --> 00:17:55,898 >> NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT. BUT THAT WOULD BE HOLLYWOOD, 403 00:17:55,898 --> 00:17:56,263 RIGHT? 404 00:17:56,263 --> 00:17:58,834 >> Jimmy: I LOVE THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT THAT. 405 00:17:58,834 --> 00:17:59,167 [ LAUGHTER ] 406 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:02,371 SPEAKING OF KYRA, SHE WAS ON THE SHOW A COUPLE MONTHS AGO. 407 00:18:02,371 --> 00:18:02,704 >> YES. 408 00:18:02,704 --> 00:18:05,407 >> Jimmy: SHE DETAILED AN INCIDENT THAT OCCURRED IN YOUR 409 00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:05,772 HOME. 410 00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:06,106 >> YES. 411 00:18:06,106 --> 00:18:08,110 >> Jimmy: YOU VOLUNTEERED TO GIVE HER A BIKINI WAX. 412 00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:08,443 >> YES. 413 00:18:08,443 --> 00:18:11,914 >> Jimmy: THEN IT WENT BADLY. SHE SAID SHE ALMOST WENT TO THE 414 00:18:11,914 --> 00:18:12,247 HOSPITAL. 415 00:18:12,247 --> 00:18:12,981 >> YES, YES. 416 00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:13,315 [ LAUGHTER ] 417 00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:15,384 >> Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU GO WRONG? 418 00:18:15,384 --> 00:18:16,652 SHE WASN'T PARTICULARLY SPECIFIC ABOUT IT. 419 00:18:16,652 --> 00:18:16,985 [ LAUGHTER ] 420 00:18:16,985 --> 00:18:20,556 >> LISTEN. I'M A GUY THAT ‐‐ I'M ONE OF 421 00:18:20,556 --> 00:18:23,425 THOSE PEOPLE THAT IS SORT OF COCKY ENOUGH TO THINK I CAN 422 00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:25,027 PROBABLY LEARN TO DO ANYTHING. 423 00:18:25,027 --> 00:18:26,061 [ LAUGHTER ] 424 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,796 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE AN 425 00:18:27,796 --> 00:18:29,598 ACTOR, YOU HAVE TO GET A SKILL, RIGHT? 426 00:18:29,598 --> 00:18:33,202 YOU GOT TO PRETEND YOU'RE AN ASTRONAUT OR, YOU KNOW, A 427 00:18:33,202 --> 00:18:37,973 FIREMAN, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER IT HAPPENS TO BE. RIDE A HORSE? 428 00:18:37,973 --> 00:18:41,210 SURE. YOU KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT, HOW 429 00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:43,178 HARD COULD THIS BE? SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED. 430 00:18:43,178 --> 00:18:43,912 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 431 00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:48,851 >> YOU KNOW, I CAN PUT STUFF TOGETHER FROM IKEA. 432 00:18:48,851 --> 00:18:53,989 THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A ‐‐ IT'S NOT YOU NEED TO LEAVE IT TO 433 00:18:53,989 --> 00:18:54,556 THE TRAINED PROFESSIONALS. 434 00:18:54,556 --> 00:18:57,426 >> Jimmy: THE PROFESSIONALS, YEAH. 435 00:18:57,426 --> 00:18:59,928 >> OTHERWISE IT CAN BE REALLY, REALLY FRIGHTENINGLY DANGEROUS. 436 00:18:59,928 --> 00:19:02,030 >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND SHE WASN'T THRILLED WITH YOU DOING IT 437 00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,799 AFTER ‐‐ I THOUGH SHE WAS A LITTLE BIT MAD AT YOU. 438 00:19:03,799 --> 00:19:06,602 >> SHE WAS A LITTLE BIT MAD AT ME. BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY. 439 00:19:06,602 --> 00:19:07,369 I GAVE IT THE OLD COLLEGE TRY. 440 00:19:07,369 --> 00:19:08,637 [ LAUGHTER ] 441 00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:09,071 >> Jimmy: YOU DID. 442 00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:12,975 >> I DID. 443 00:19:12,975 --> 00:19:15,978 >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF COLLEGE. THIS IS SO CRAZY. 444 00:19:15,978 --> 00:19:20,549 YOUR FIRST MOVIE WAS A CLASSIC, "ANIMAL HOUSE." 445 00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:20,916 >> I KNOW, MAN. 446 00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:21,683 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 447 00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:24,353 >> Jimmy: BRING THAT UP PICTURE OF KEVIN. 448 00:19:24,353 --> 00:19:25,988 YOU'RE A TEENAGER, 19 YEARS OLD. 449 00:19:25,988 --> 00:19:27,923 >> YEAH, 19 YEARS OLD, YEAH. 450 00:19:27,923 --> 00:19:30,058 >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER FROM THAT DAY, GETTING THAT JOB, 451 00:19:30,058 --> 00:19:31,193 AND SHOOTING THAT? 452 00:19:31,193 --> 00:19:34,963 >> INCREDIBLE. WHAT A ‐‐ WHAT AN AMAZING THING. 453 00:19:34,963 --> 00:19:37,833 I DIDN'T HAVE AN AGENT. I WAS IN ACTING SCHOOL. 454 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:41,904 JOHN LANDIS, WHO DIRECTED THE MOVIE, CAME BY THE SCHOOL. 455 00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:45,240 NOT HIM, THE CASTING DIRECTOR. THEY SENT ME OVER. 456 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,244 HE HAD ME MAKE SOME FACES AND I GOT THIS GIG. 457 00:19:49,244 --> 00:19:51,013 I FLEW TO OREGON AND MY LIFE WAS CHANGING. 458 00:19:51,013 --> 00:19:52,915 I COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS ON A SET WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE. 459 00:19:52,915 --> 00:19:56,285 IT WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE LANDIS SET UP THIS SITUATION 460 00:19:56,285 --> 00:20:01,223 WHERE HE DIDN'T WANT ‐‐ I WAS, YOU KNOW, IN THE [ BLEEP ] ALONG 461 00:20:01,223 --> 00:20:01,924 WITH NIEDERMAYER AND ALL THE ‐‐ 462 00:20:01,924 --> 00:20:03,559 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE BAD GUYS. 463 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:07,262 >> BUT THE GOOD GUYS, HE WANTED THEM ALL TO BE SEPARATE FROM US, 464 00:20:07,262 --> 00:20:10,365 HAVE THIS REALLY COHESIVE UNIT THAT WAS LIKE AN IDEA THAT HE 465 00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:13,235 HAD. AND IT SORT OF TOOK HOLD IN OUR 466 00:20:13,235 --> 00:20:15,504 PRIVATE LIFE. ALL STAYING AT THE SAME MOTEL. 467 00:20:15,504 --> 00:20:19,808 BUT THESE GUYS WOULD HAVE PARTIES WITH MUSIC AND THEY WERE 468 00:20:19,808 --> 00:20:24,179 ALL SUPER COOL, PARTIES WERE GREAT, THERE WERE GIRLS AROUND. 469 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,380 AND I WAS NEVER INVITED. I WAS NEVER PART OF THAT THING. 470 00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:26,982 >> Jimmy: NONE OF THE GUYS? 471 00:20:26,982 --> 00:20:27,583 >> DON'T FEEL TOO BAD FOR ME. 472 00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:29,718 [ LAUGHTER ] 473 00:20:29,718 --> 00:20:36,758 BUT THANK YOU. 474 00:20:36,758 --> 00:20:42,030 BUT I REMEMBER I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY ‐‐ A WAY TO GET 475 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,098 IN WITH THE COOL KIDS. 476 00:20:43,098 --> 00:20:43,499 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 477 00:20:43,499 --> 00:20:48,270 >> AND I WAS FRIENDLY WITH THIS WAITRESS AT THIS MOTEL THAT WE 478 00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,639 WERE STAYING AT. AND THEY WERE HAVING THIS RAGING 479 00:20:50,639 --> 00:20:53,242 PARTY DOWNSTAIRS, WHICH I WASN'T INVITED TO. 480 00:20:53,242 --> 00:20:58,247 SHE CALLED ME UP IN MY ROOM AND SHE SAID, LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO 481 00:20:58,247 --> 00:21:01,783 KNOW THAT I HAVE IT ON REALLY GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THE FBI IS 482 00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:07,589 IN TOWN, AND THEY ARE KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON THE ACTORS AND ON 483 00:21:07,589 --> 00:21:11,059 THE PRODUCTION, AND THERE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE A MAJOR 484 00:21:11,059 --> 00:21:17,065 BUST ANY TIME ‐‐ SOMETIME SOON. SO I THOUGHT THAT I COULD MAYBE 485 00:21:17,065 --> 00:21:22,204 GET IN GOOD WITH THIS GROUP BY LIKE GIVING THEM A WARNING. 486 00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:23,171 >> Jimmy: WARNING THEM, YEAH. 487 00:21:23,171 --> 00:21:25,574 >> THAT I WOULD ENDEAR MYSELF TO THEM. 488 00:21:25,574 --> 00:21:25,974 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 489 00:21:25,974 --> 00:21:29,411 >> PLUS I THINK I WAS PRETTY HIGH. AND I WAS PARANOID. 490 00:21:29,411 --> 00:21:29,744 [ LAUGHTER ] 491 00:21:29,744 --> 00:21:33,916 ANYWAY. SO I PICK UP THE PHONE, I CAN 492 00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:36,685 HEAR THE PARTY DOWN THE HALL, RIGHT? 493 00:21:36,685 --> 00:21:39,187 I COULD HEAR IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE RAGING ON. 494 00:21:39,187 --> 00:21:42,791 AND I SAID, HEY, LISTEN, MAN. I THINK IT WAS BRUCE McGILL ON 495 00:21:42,791 --> 00:21:45,928 THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE. LISTEN, MAN, I WANT YOU GUYS TO 496 00:21:45,928 --> 00:21:50,666 KNOW THAT I HAVE IT ON REALLY GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THE FBI IS 497 00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:53,902 ACTUALLY IN TOWN AND THEY'RE KEEPING AN EYE ON WHAT'S GOING 498 00:21:53,902 --> 00:21:54,636 ON. IT'S LIKE, [ BLEEP ] YOU. 499 00:21:54,636 --> 00:21:57,739 [ LAUGHTER ] 500 00:21:57,739 --> 00:22:01,343 SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN. I SPENT THE NIGHT ALONE IN MY 501 00:22:01,343 --> 00:22:01,843 ROOM. 502 00:22:01,843 --> 00:22:03,378 >> Jimmy: DID THE FBI EVER SHOW UP? 503 00:22:03,378 --> 00:22:05,247 >> OF COURSE NOT, THE FBI? 504 00:22:05,247 --> 00:22:05,580 [ LAUGHTER ] 505 00:22:05,580 --> 00:22:08,250 WE WERE MAKING "ANIMAL HOUSE," COME ON. 506 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,987 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHEN, ALL RIGHT, THEN I'M CALLING THE FBI. 507 00:22:11,987 --> 00:22:12,521 [ LAUGHTER ] 508 00:22:12,521 --> 00:22:14,590 KEVIN BACON IS WITH US. THE SHOW IS "SITTING ON A HILL." 509 00:22:14,590 --> 00:22:15,165 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 510 00:22:20,013 --> 00:22:24,184 >>> YOU KNOW, THERE WAS NO GUN RESIDUE ON HIS HANDS. 511 00:22:24,184 --> 00:22:26,820 HOW DOES SOMEONE JUST SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE HEAD WITH NO 512 00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:28,822 GUN RESIDUE? 513 00:22:28,822 --> 00:22:31,925 >> HEY. EVER ATTEND ANY OF THOSE BU 514 00:22:31,925 --> 00:22:34,461 ALUMNI REUNION THINGS? YOU KNOW, CATCH UP WITH OLD 515 00:22:34,461 --> 00:22:39,699 FRIENDS YOU LOSE TOUCH WITH? PEOPLE GET NOSTALGIC ABOUT THEIR 516 00:22:39,699 --> 00:22:41,668 COLLEGE DAYS. THEY TEND TO TALK AND TALK AND 517 00:22:41,668 --> 00:22:47,073 TALK, EVEN ABOUT THE BAD STUFF. I KNOW I DO. ALL THE HEARTBREAK. 518 00:22:47,073 --> 00:22:50,384 PEOPLE GOT A LOT TO SAY ABOUT YOUR GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD OLD 519 00:22:50,384 --> 00:22:53,354 DAYS. DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU'VE SAID. 520 00:22:53,354 --> 00:22:54,455 WHICH MAKES FOR A NICE FAIRYTALE. 521 00:22:54,455 --> 00:22:58,326 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 522 00:22:58,326 --> 00:22:59,460 >> Jimmy: THAT IS "CITY ON A HILL." IT'S GREAT. 523 00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:01,529 YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING WE 524 00:23:01,529 --> 00:23:04,498 PROBABLY ARE ALL EXPERIENCING NOW. I'M LOOKING AT THAT CLIP AND 525 00:23:04,498 --> 00:23:07,335 GOING LIKE, OH, THE ACTING IS REALLY GOOD, AND THEY'RE SO 526 00:23:07,335 --> 00:23:10,071 CLOSE TO EACH OTHER'S FACES. 527 00:23:10,071 --> 00:23:10,404 [ LAUGHTER ] 528 00:23:10,404 --> 00:23:12,139 >> LET ME EXPLAIN. THE TRUTH IS THAT WE'D GET 529 00:23:12,139 --> 00:23:15,876 TESTED ALL THE TIME. AS KYRA SAID, THE TESTERS MUST 530 00:23:15,876 --> 00:23:19,914 LOVE YOU, BECAUSE YOUR NOSTRILS ARE SUCH A GIGANTIC TARGET. 531 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:22,883 [ LAUGHTER ] 532 00:23:22,883 --> 00:23:26,854 OH, THOSE TESTERS. THEY JUST GO, RROW! 533 00:23:26,854 --> 00:23:30,191 BUT WE GET TESTED SO MUCH. THEN ON A DAY LIKE ‐‐ WE WERE 534 00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:32,793 PROBABLY TESTED THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK. 535 00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:36,297 THEN A DAY LIKE THIS, WE'D GET A RAPID TEST BECAUSE WE'RE IN EACH 536 00:23:36,297 --> 00:23:38,799 OTHER'S FACES. SO THE LEVEL OF CARE THAT'S 537 00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:46,674 TAKEN FOR THESE THINGS. IF ME AND ALDOUS ARE SHOUTING, 538 00:23:46,674 --> 00:23:49,710 WE HAVE RAPID TESTS, OR A KISSING SCENE OR WHATEVER, IT'S 539 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:51,612 REALLY FASCINATING. 540 00:23:51,612 --> 00:23:54,415 >> Jimmy: IT'S STRANGE, SEEING PEOPLE IN GROUPS. 541 00:23:54,415 --> 00:23:56,684 >> IT'S STRANGE. BUT THIS IS 1992. 542 00:23:56,684 --> 00:23:57,017 [ LAUGHTER ] 543 00:23:57,017 --> 00:24:01,522 >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MOVIES YOU'VE BEEN IN? 544 00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:01,855 >> NO. 545 00:24:01,855 --> 00:24:02,790 >> Jimmy: 64 MOVIES. 546 00:24:02,790 --> 00:24:03,123 >> OKAY. 547 00:24:03,123 --> 00:24:04,625 >> Jimmy: WHICH IS A LOT OF THEM. 548 00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:05,459 >> THREE OF THEM ARE GOOD, ACTUALLY. 549 00:24:05,459 --> 00:24:08,295 [ LAUGHTER ] 550 00:24:08,295 --> 00:24:10,564 >> Jimmy: SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NOW, WITH YOUR PERMISSION, 551 00:24:10,564 --> 00:24:15,069 WE'RE GOING TO TEST YOU TO SEE IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THE MOVIES 552 00:24:15,069 --> 00:24:22,309 YOU YOURSELF WERE IN, IN A GAME CALLED "TITLE RECALL." 553 00:24:22,309 --> 00:24:23,477 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 554 00:24:23,477 --> 00:24:26,881 IT'S A GREAT TITLE, IT'S A GREAT GAME, AND WE HAVE A GREAT HOST. 555 00:24:26,881 --> 00:24:31,786 HIS NAME IS GUILLERMO. GUILLERMO WILL BE READING THE 556 00:24:31,786 --> 00:24:32,119 QUESTIONS. 557 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:32,987 >> EXCELLENT. 558 00:24:32,987 --> 00:24:35,389 >> Jimmy: FOR REASONS THAT ARE UNKNOWN TO ME. GO AHEAD. 559 00:24:35,389 --> 00:24:35,956 >> Guillermo: READY? 560 00:24:35,956 --> 00:24:37,291 >> I'M READY, MAN. 561 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:39,193 >> Guillermo: IN THIS MOVIE, THE LADY YOU ARE WITH IS HAVING A 562 00:24:39,193 --> 00:24:42,396 BABY. 563 00:24:42,396 --> 00:24:44,932 >> Jimmy: IN THIS MOVIE, THE LADY YOU ARE WITH IS HAVING A 564 00:24:44,932 --> 00:24:45,297 BABY. 565 00:24:45,297 --> 00:24:48,469 >> I KNOW THAT ONE. I'M GOING TO TAKE A FLYER AND 566 00:24:48,469 --> 00:24:51,872 SAY "SHE'S HAVING A BABY." 567 00:24:51,872 --> 00:24:52,640 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 568 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,641 >> Jimmy: THAT IS CORRECT. YOU NAILED THAT ONE. 569 00:24:53,641 --> 00:24:56,243 RIGHT OFF THE BAT. 570 00:24:56,243 --> 00:24:57,311 >> Guillermo: ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 571 00:24:57,311 --> 00:25:03,951 IN THIS MOVIE, THERE'S A BIG BOK 572 00:25:03,951 --> 00:25:05,619 WHO MAKE YOU CHEAT. 573 00:25:05,619 --> 00:25:05,953 [ LAUGHTER ] 574 00:25:05,953 --> 00:25:07,988 >> ONE MORE TIME? 575 00:25:07,988 --> 00:25:10,424 >> Guillermo: IN THIS MOVIE THERE'S A BIG BOK WHO MAKE YOU 576 00:25:10,424 --> 00:25:14,295 CHAFE. 577 00:25:14,295 --> 00:25:16,597 >> Jimmy: I THINK WHAT MY COLLEAGUE IS SAYING, THERE'S A 578 00:25:16,597 --> 00:25:19,867 BIG BUG THAT MADE YOU SHAKE. 579 00:25:19,867 --> 00:25:21,902 >> Guillermo: THAT'S RIGHT. 580 00:25:21,902 --> 00:25:22,236 [ LAUGHTER ] 581 00:25:22,236 --> 00:25:25,306 >> A BIG BUG THAT MAKES ME SHAKE ‐‐ OH, "TREMORS." 582 00:25:25,306 --> 00:25:25,806 >> Jimmy: THAT IS RIGHT. 583 00:25:25,806 --> 00:25:27,842 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 584 00:25:27,842 --> 00:25:28,776 2 FOR 2. 585 00:25:28,776 --> 00:25:29,877 >> 2 FOR 2. 586 00:25:29,877 --> 00:25:34,982 >> Guillermo: IN THIS MOVIE, YOU ARE SO SEXY, YOU CATCH ON FIRE. 587 00:25:34,982 --> 00:25:37,885 >> OH, I KNOW WHAT THAT IS. THAT'S BECAUSE I ‐‐ I HAVE TO 588 00:25:37,885 --> 00:25:42,490 REMEMBER THIS ONE, I DID THE MOVIE WITH KYRA SEDGWICK, IT'S 589 00:25:42,490 --> 00:25:45,359 CALLED "PIRATES." 590 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:45,860 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 591 00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:48,429 >> Jimmy: "PIRATES," THAT'S CORRECT. 592 00:25:48,429 --> 00:25:50,097 >> THAT IS A DEEP DIVE RIGHT THERE. 593 00:25:50,097 --> 00:25:54,401 >> Guillermo: IN THIS MOVIE, YOU SAY [ BLEEP ] YOU, MATT. 594 00:25:54,401 --> 00:25:54,735 [ LAUGHTER ] 595 00:25:54,735 --> 00:25:58,839 >> THAT'S ‐‐ THAT'S LIKE 75% OF THEM, I THINK. 596 00:25:58,839 --> 00:26:01,142 [ LAUGHTER ] 597 00:26:01,142 --> 00:26:03,210 >> [ BLEEP ] YOU, MAN. 598 00:26:03,210 --> 00:26:04,078 [ BLEEP ] YOU, MANN. 599 00:26:04,078 --> 00:26:04,478 >> Jimmy: MATT. 600 00:26:04,478 --> 00:26:05,679 >> OH, MATT? 601 00:26:05,679 --> 00:26:06,113 >> Jimmy: YEAH, MATT. 602 00:26:06,113 --> 00:26:10,284 >> OH. 603 00:26:10,284 --> 00:26:11,252 [ LAUGHTER ] 604 00:26:11,252 --> 00:26:13,888 IS IT "WILD THINGS"? 605 00:26:13,888 --> 00:26:15,356 [ BUZZER ] 606 00:26:15,356 --> 00:26:18,292 >> Jimmy: IT IS ‐‐ 607 00:26:18,292 --> 00:26:20,995 >> Guillermo: "HOLLOW MONEY." 608 00:26:20,995 --> 00:26:22,096 >> Jimmy: THE MATT WAS PROBABLY MATT DAMON, RIGHT? 609 00:26:22,096 --> 00:26:24,298 [ LAUGHTER ] 610 00:26:24,298 --> 00:26:25,966 >> Guillermo: YEAH, YEAH. 611 00:26:25,966 --> 00:26:27,701 >> Jimmy: ONE MORE, GUILLERMO. 612 00:26:27,701 --> 00:26:28,869 >> Guillermo: IN THIS MOVIE, YOU HAVE A LOOSE FOOT. 613 00:26:28,869 --> 00:26:35,242 [ LAUGHTER ] 614 00:26:35,242 --> 00:26:39,446 >> DUMB DEDUMB DEDUMB DEDUMB. 615 00:26:39,446 --> 00:26:42,683 >> Jimmy: IN THIS MOVIE YOU HAVE A LOOSE FOOT. 616 00:26:42,683 --> 00:26:46,787 >> "FOOTLOOSE." 617 00:26:46,787 --> 00:26:49,190 >> Jimmy: FOOTLOOSE IS RIGHT. 618 00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:50,891 >> THANK YOU, GUILLERMO. 619 00:26:50,891 --> 00:26:55,529 >> Jimmy: YOU DID A GREAT JOB. WE HAVE A PRIZE FOR YOU, VHS OF 620 00:26:55,529 --> 00:26:59,833 THE MOVIE "TREMORS: A COLD DAY IN HELL," THE SIXTH PART OF THE 621 00:26:59,833 --> 00:27:01,302 SERIES, YOU WERE NOT IN THIS ONE. 622 00:27:01,302 --> 00:27:03,337 >> I WAS NOT IN THAT ONE. 623 00:27:03,337 --> 00:27:03,871 [ APPLAUSE ] 624 00:27:03,871 --> 00:27:04,845 >> Jimmy: KEVIN BACON. SEASON 2 OF "CITY ON A HILL" 625 00:27:04,845 --> 00:27:08,627 PREMIERES MARCH 28th ON SHOWTIME. BE RIGHT BACK WITH TRAY MONEY 626 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,702 FREE. THANKS, KEVIN. 627 00:27:10,702 --> 00:27:12,342 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 628 00:27:17,768 --> 00:27:20,324 ♪ 629 00:27:20,324 --> 00:27:22,526 >> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM DAYA IS ON THE WAY. 630 00:27:22,526 --> 00:27:25,596 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A STANDUP COMIC AND EMMY‐WINNING COMEDY 631 00:27:25,596 --> 00:27:27,798 WRITER WITH A NEW SHORT FILM THAT IS ON THE SHORT LIST FOR AN 632 00:27:27,798 --> 00:27:30,701 ACADEMY AWARD. IT'S CALLED "TWO DISTANT 633 00:27:30,701 --> 00:27:36,841 STRANGERS." PLEASE WELCOME TRAVON FREE. 634 00:27:36,841 --> 00:27:37,341 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 635 00:27:37,341 --> 00:27:43,881 ♪ 636 00:27:43,881 --> 00:27:45,516 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH. 637 00:27:45,516 --> 00:27:48,104 >> YEAH, OF COURSE, YEAH. 638 00:27:48,104 --> 00:27:49,205 >> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING? 639 00:27:49,205 --> 00:27:51,107 >> I'M GOOD, MAN, HOW ARE YOU? 640 00:27:51,107 --> 00:27:55,979 >> Jimmy: I'M DOING WELL. I KNOW YOU'RE A SNEAKER 641 00:27:55,979 --> 00:27:57,881 AFICIONADO. ARE THOSE SPECIAL? REAL GOOD ONES? 642 00:27:57,881 --> 00:28:01,718 >> THESE ARE VERY HARD TO GET. THESE ARE CALLED THE TROPHY 643 00:28:01,718 --> 00:28:02,752 ROOM, JORDAN ONE. 644 00:28:02,752 --> 00:28:03,186 >> Jimmy: OH. 645 00:28:03,186 --> 00:28:07,657 >> IF YOU HAVE AN EXTRA 5 TO 10 BRAND, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GRAB 646 00:28:07,657 --> 00:28:08,158 THEM ONLINE. 647 00:28:08,158 --> 00:28:09,993 >> Jimmy: THAT IS REALLY HOW MUCH THEY COST? 648 00:28:09,993 --> 00:28:12,429 >> THAT'S HOW MUCH THEY RESELL FOR, YEAH. 649 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:14,230 >> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T PAY THAT FOR THEM? 650 00:28:14,230 --> 00:28:16,032 >> I DEFINITELY DID NOT. 651 00:28:16,032 --> 00:28:16,800 [ LAUGHTER ] 652 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,768 >> Jimmy: SHOULD YOU BE WEARING THOSE? I DON'T THINK YOU. 653 00:28:18,768 --> 00:28:21,638 >> I LITERALLY WORE THEM FROM FRONT DOOR TO CAR, CAR DOOR TO 654 00:28:21,638 --> 00:28:23,940 YOUR DOOR. WHEN I GO BACK HOME, THEY GO IN 655 00:28:23,940 --> 00:28:24,708 A LOCKED BOX. 656 00:28:24,708 --> 00:28:26,576 >> Jimmy: YOU BROUGHT A PICTURE OF YOUR COLLECTION HERE. 657 00:28:26,576 --> 00:28:29,579 PUT THAT UP ON THE SCREEN. THAT'S YOUR HOUSE? 658 00:28:29,579 --> 00:28:33,783 >> YEAH, THAT'S MY ‐‐ ONE OF MY OLD SNEAKER ROOMS. 659 00:28:33,783 --> 00:28:38,088 HERE I STARTED PUTTING THEM IN THOSE CLEAR BOXES ON THE WALL 660 00:28:38,088 --> 00:28:43,293 WHERE I COULD ACTUALLY SEE WHAT I WANTED FOR THAT DAY'S 661 00:28:43,293 --> 00:28:43,827 ADVENTURES. 662 00:28:43,827 --> 00:28:46,630 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN INTO INTERIOR DESIGN? 663 00:28:46,630 --> 00:28:46,963 [ LAUGHTER ] 664 00:28:46,963 --> 00:28:50,233 >> NO, MAN, WHEN YOU HAVE ROUGHLY 300 PAIRS OF SHOES, IF 665 00:28:50,233 --> 00:28:54,170 YOU DON'T SEE THEM, IT MAKES IT REALLY DIFFICULT, YOU KNOW ‐‐ 666 00:28:54,170 --> 00:28:57,741 >> Jimmy: TO PICK. ALSO, YOU LIKE THEM, SO YOU WANT 667 00:28:57,741 --> 00:28:58,074 TO SEE THEM. 668 00:28:58,074 --> 00:28:58,407 >> YEAH. 669 00:28:58,407 --> 00:28:59,042 >> Jimmy: ARE THEY ALL NIKES? 670 00:28:59,042 --> 00:29:00,010 >> PRETTY MUCH YEAH. 671 00:29:00,010 --> 00:29:02,178 >> Jimmy: ANY NON‐NIKES IN THE MIX? 672 00:29:02,178 --> 00:29:06,616 >> I HAVE A COUPLE PAIRS OF VANS FOR THE SUMMER. 673 00:29:06,616 --> 00:29:08,451 IF SOMEBODY INVITES YOU TO THEIR FOURTH OF JULY PARTY OR 674 00:29:08,451 --> 00:29:08,918 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 675 00:29:08,918 --> 00:29:09,285 >> Jimmy: I SEE. 676 00:29:09,285 --> 00:29:10,587 [ LAUGHTER ] 677 00:29:10,587 --> 00:29:15,125 >> THINGS LIKE THAT. YOU MIGHT WANT TO WEAR SOME 678 00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:17,060 SHORTS AND SOME VANS OR SOMETHING. 679 00:29:17,060 --> 00:29:21,564 >> Jimmy: WHICH IS THE BEST PAIR THAT YOU HAVE, THE MOST RARE OR 680 00:29:21,564 --> 00:29:22,899 EXPENSIVE OR ‐‐ 681 00:29:22,899 --> 00:29:26,269 >> RIGHT. IT'S PROBABLY MY FRAGMENTS. 682 00:29:26,269 --> 00:29:28,271 THE JORDAN ONE FRAGMENTS. 683 00:29:28,271 --> 00:29:28,938 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 684 00:29:28,938 --> 00:29:32,709 >> I PROBABLY SPENT A YEAR TRYING TO FIND THOSE IN MY SIZE. 685 00:29:32,709 --> 00:29:34,711 I'M A SIZE 16, WHICH IS NOT COMMON. 686 00:29:34,711 --> 00:29:36,379 >> Jimmy: OH, WOW, YEAH. 687 00:29:36,379 --> 00:29:38,915 >> UNLESS YOU'RE AN NBA PLAYER, THEN IT'S PRETTY COMMON. 688 00:29:38,915 --> 00:29:43,520 BUT I WOULD GO ON EBAY PRETTY MUCH DAILY JUST TO CHECK TO SEE 689 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,256 IF SOMEBODY WAS SELLING A PAIR. BECAUSE YOU COULD ONLY GET THEM 690 00:29:46,256 --> 00:29:49,993 RESALE IF YOU MISSED THE RETAIL SALE. AND, YOU KNOW, ONE DAY THEY 691 00:29:49,993 --> 00:29:52,062 SHOWED UP. AND I REALLY COULDN'T BELIEVE 692 00:29:52,062 --> 00:29:55,732 THAT THEY WERE REALLY THERE. AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE 693 00:29:55,732 --> 00:30:00,570 SOMEBODY MADE A FAKE ‐‐ THERE'S. AND I JUST ‐‐ I PULLED THE 694 00:30:00,570 --> 00:30:01,137 TRIGGER, I BOUGHT THEM. 695 00:30:01,137 --> 00:30:01,571 >> Jimmy: HOW MUCH? 696 00:30:01,571 --> 00:30:01,936 >> OH. 697 00:30:01,936 --> 00:30:05,842 [ LAUGHTER ] 698 00:30:05,842 --> 00:30:09,179 IN THIS CHI MAT, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M ALLOWED TO SAY. 699 00:30:09,179 --> 00:30:10,280 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? 700 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:10,613 [ LAUGHTER ] 701 00:30:10,613 --> 00:30:13,283 >> NO, IT WAS ‐‐ IT WAS A FOUR‐FIGURE NUMBER. 702 00:30:13,283 --> 00:30:14,250 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? 703 00:30:14,250 --> 00:30:16,619 >> FOR A PAIR OF SHOES, YEAH. 704 00:30:16,619 --> 00:30:16,986 >> Jimmy: WOW. 705 00:30:16,986 --> 00:30:18,455 >> BUT YOU KNOW, IT'S MY PASSION. 706 00:30:18,455 --> 00:30:22,258 YOU KNOW, IT'S THE ONE THING I WILL LET MYSELF REALLY GO CRAZY 707 00:30:22,258 --> 00:30:22,623 ON. 708 00:30:22,623 --> 00:30:22,958 >> Jimmy: UH‐HUH. 709 00:30:22,958 --> 00:30:25,662 >> AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE WALL. 710 00:30:25,662 --> 00:30:28,798 >> Jimmy: YOU PLAYED COLLEGE BASKETBALL. LONG BEACH STATE IN. 711 00:30:28,798 --> 00:30:32,001 >> YEAH, YEAH, '49ERS. 712 00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:32,335 [ APPLAUSE ] 713 00:30:32,335 --> 00:30:36,272 >> Jimmy: YOU WENT TO THE NBA TOURNAMENT. 714 00:30:36,272 --> 00:30:37,841 >> SENIOR YEAR, 2007. 715 00:30:37,841 --> 00:30:40,677 >> Jimmy: 2007, NCAA TOURNAMENT. WHAT TEAM DID YOU PLAY? 716 00:30:40,677 --> 00:30:41,878 >> WE PLAYED TENNESSEE. 717 00:30:41,878 --> 00:30:43,680 >> Jimmy: TENNESSEE, AND WHAT SEED WERE THEY? 718 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:48,184 >> IT WAS A 5‐12 GAME. EVERYBODY THINKS THERE'S A BIG ‐‐ 719 00:30:48,184 --> 00:30:50,587 >> Jimmy: 5‐12, THAT'S THE ONE WHERE YOU THINK YOU'RE SMART AND 720 00:30:50,587 --> 00:30:51,087 PICK THE 12? 721 00:30:51,087 --> 00:30:55,959 >> WE WERE A GOOD PICK, MAN. WE WERE LEADING THE NATION IN 722 00:30:55,959 --> 00:31:01,264 SCORING THAT YEAR. 723 00:31:01,264 --> 00:31:05,135 AS A MID‐MAJOR BIG BEST TEAM. THE SCORE DOESN'T LOOK GREAT 724 00:31:05,135 --> 00:31:08,438 WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE FINAL SCORE, BUT GAME ITSELF WASN'T 725 00:31:08,438 --> 00:31:09,939 THAT BAD. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACT THAT 726 00:31:09,939 --> 00:31:14,277 THEY CAME OUT SHOOTING LIKE THEY HAD FIVE STEPH CURRYS ON THEIR 727 00:31:14,277 --> 00:31:14,642 TEAM? 728 00:31:14,642 --> 00:31:14,977 [ LAUGHTER ] 729 00:31:14,977 --> 00:31:17,180 WE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE HAD, LIKE, A BETTER CHANCE. 730 00:31:17,180 --> 00:31:19,249 >> Jimmy: DID YOU THINK YOU MIGHT WIN THAT GAME? 731 00:31:19,249 --> 00:31:21,951 OR NEVER MIND THE GAME. I'M SURE YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT 732 00:31:21,951 --> 00:31:24,788 MAYBE YOU'D WIN THAT GAME. DOES A 12 SEED THINK, WE COULD 733 00:31:24,788 --> 00:31:25,688 WIN THIS ALL? 734 00:31:25,688 --> 00:31:29,726 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, YOUR COACH TRIES TO CONVINCE YOU OF 735 00:31:29,726 --> 00:31:31,361 THAT. IN YOUR HEAD YOU'RE LIKE, DUKE 736 00:31:31,361 --> 00:31:31,928 HAS SIX FUTURE NBA PLAYERS. 737 00:31:31,928 --> 00:31:36,533 [ LAUGHTER ] 738 00:31:36,533 --> 00:31:38,368 I DON'T THINK WE REALLY STAND THAT GREAT OF A CHANCE. 739 00:31:38,368 --> 00:31:40,603 BUT YOU KNOW, IF YOU BELIEVE. IF YOU JUST BELIEVE. 740 00:31:40,603 --> 00:31:43,239 >> Jimmy: IF YOU BELIEVE. WELL, LISTEN, YOU PROBABLY 741 00:31:43,239 --> 00:31:46,576 DIDN'T IMAGINE WHEN YOU WERE PLAYING ON THAT TEAM THAT ONE 742 00:31:46,576 --> 00:31:49,512 DAY YOU WOULD HAVE A MOVIE THAT WAS BEING CONSIDERED FOR AN 743 00:31:49,512 --> 00:31:50,180 ACADEMY AWARD. 744 00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:50,547 >> ABSOLUTELY. 745 00:31:50,547 --> 00:31:52,782 >> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TOO TALL TO BE NOMINATED FOR A SHORT 746 00:31:52,782 --> 00:31:53,147 FILM. 747 00:31:53,147 --> 00:31:55,518 [ LAUGHTER ] 748 00:31:55,518 --> 00:31:57,720 >> I MIGHT ‐‐ I WOULD LOVE FOR SOMEONE TO CHECK. 749 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,024 I MIGHT BE THE TALLEST SHORT FILM POTENTIAL NOMINEE. 750 00:32:01,024 --> 00:32:01,558 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO BE. 751 00:32:01,558 --> 00:32:03,359 [ LAUGHTER ] 752 00:32:03,359 --> 00:32:07,797 YOU HAVE TO BE, YEAH. "TWO DISTANT STRANGERS." 753 00:32:07,797 --> 00:32:08,665 I REALLYHT IT WAS GREAT. 754 00:32:08,665 --> 00:32:09,032 >> THANK YOU. 755 00:32:09,032 --> 00:32:13,736 >> Jimmy: I SAW IT, A FRIEND OF MINE, VAN LATHAM, SENT TO IT ME. 756 00:32:13,736 --> 00:32:16,706 I TOOK A LOOK AT IT, I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GREAT. 757 00:32:16,706 --> 00:32:18,775 I LEARNED TODAY ‐‐ I GOT A LINK TO IT. 758 00:32:18,775 --> 00:32:21,845 I LEARNED TODAY THAT YOU'RE HERE PROMOTING A MOVIE NO ONE IS ABLE 759 00:32:21,845 --> 00:32:22,212 TO SEE. 760 00:32:22,212 --> 00:32:22,545 [ LAUGHTER ] 761 00:32:22,545 --> 00:32:27,650 >> YEAH. RIGHT. SO THE MOVIE IS NOT OFFICIALLY 762 00:32:27,650 --> 00:32:29,252 OUT. WE ARE STILL ‐‐ 763 00:32:29,252 --> 00:32:31,187 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, EXACTLY? THCARS TO PASS? 764 00:32:31,187 --> 00:32:33,890 [ LAUGHTER ] 765 00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:37,493 >> DISTRIBUTION. ANYBODY. ANYBODY WANTS TO, Y KNOW, PICK 766 00:32:37,493 --> 00:32:39,929 UP A SHORT FILM THAT IS ‐‐ 767 00:32:39,929 --> 00:32:42,498 >> Jimmy: I'LL PUT IT ON RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT. 768 00:32:42,498 --> 00:32:42,899 [ LAUGHTER ] 769 00:32:42,899 --> 00:32:46,469 >> YOU GOT 28 MINUTES, I'LL SIT RIGHT HERE THE WHOLE TIME. 770 00:32:46,469 --> 00:32:47,637 >> Jimmy: WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. 771 00:32:47,637 --> 00:32:53,009 >> WE CAN DO THE WHOLE THING. YEAH, WE'RE LOOKING FOR 772 00:32:53,009 --> 00:32:53,943 DISTRIBUTION, TRYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE. 773 00:32:53,943 --> 00:32:57,080 'VE BEEN BEGGING TO FIND A WAY TO GET THE MOVIE OUT. 774 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,683 MAYBE WE COULD PUT IT UP ON YOUTUBE FOR A DAY. 775 00:33:00,683 --> 00:33:04,354 >> Jimmy: JUST SO PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS, LIKE 776 00:33:04,354 --> 00:33:09,225 500, 200, 300 PEOPLE, VIRTUAL SCREENINGS. 777 00:33:09,225 --> 00:33:15,431 YOU KNOW, THE PRESS AND THE QUOTES AND THINGS HAVE BEEN SO 778 00:33:15,431 --> 00:33:18,868 GREAT, BEYOND WHAT WE COULD HAVE IMAGINED.>> IT'S VERY ORIGINAL. 779 00:33:18,868 --> 00:33:19,269 [ APPLAUSE ] 780 00:33:19,269 --> 00:33:20,103 VERY POWERFUL. 781 00:33:20,103 --> 00:33:20,503 >> THANK YOU. 782 00:33:20,503 --> 00:33:24,307 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE CLAPPING, THEY HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF IT. 783 00:33:24,307 --> 00:33:24,640 [ LAUGHTER ] 784 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,310 THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SEE IT, ITEVERG OUT! 785 00:33:27,310 --> 00:33:28,411 >> I SENT THE THE LINK. 786 00:33:28,411 --> 00:33:29,512 >> Jimmy: THEY GOT THE LINK. 787 00:33:29,512 --> 00:33:33,883 >> EVERYBODY GOT THE LINK. IT'S UNDER YOUR SEATS! 788 00:33:33,883 --> 00:33:34,216 [ LAUGHTER ] 789 00:33:34,216 --> 00:33:38,655 >> Jimmy: THE OSCAR VOTERS ‐‐ I HOPE THE OSCAR VOTERS GOT THE 790 00:33:38,655 --> 00:33:39,020 LINK. 791 00:33:39,020 --> 00:33:42,125 >> NO, DEFINITELY, WE MADE SURE THEY GOT THE LINK FIRST. 792 00:33:42,125 --> 00:33:43,893 THEY GOT THE LINK BEFORE ANYBODY GOT THE LINK. 793 00:33:43,893 --> 00:33:45,328 >> Jimmy: BUT NO ONE ELSE HAS THE LINK. 794 00:33:45,328 --> 00:33:48,364 NO ONE ELSE CAN GET THE LINK EXCEPT THROUGH ME. 795 00:33:48,364 --> 00:33:50,633 >> Jimmy: HAS YOUR FAMILY SEEN THE MOVIE? 796 00:33:50,633 --> 00:33:50,967 >> YES. 797 00:33:50,967 --> 00:33:53,770 >> Jimmy: ARE THEY EXCITED? ARE PEOPLE JOCKEYING SAYING, IF 798 00:33:53,770 --> 00:33:55,405 YOU'RE NOMINATED I'M GOING WITH YOU? 799 00:33:55,405 --> 00:33:59,409 >> COVID SAVED ME FROM THAT FIASCO OF EVERYBODY BEING 800 00:33:59,409 --> 00:34:02,412 LIKE ‐‐ SO I'M GETTING THE OTHER TICKET, OR YOU'RE GETTING ME 801 00:34:02,412 --> 00:34:05,515 TICKETS TO THE OSCARS, RIGHT? I'M LIKE, I HAVE TO GET OFF THE 802 00:34:05,515 --> 00:34:05,848 SHORT LIST. 803 00:34:05,848 --> 00:34:07,483 >> Jimmy: GET ON THEHORTER LIST, YEAH. 804 00:34:07,483 --> 00:34:09,419 >> RIGHT, EXACTLY, THE SHORTEST LIST. 805 00:34:09,419 --> 00:34:12,422 WHICH MEANS YOU GET TO THE NEXT ROUND. BUT NO, THERE ARE DEFY 806 00:34:12,422 --> 00:34:15,525 PEOPLE I MY FAMIL ARE EXCITED ABOUT IT AND WANT ME TO 807 00:34:15,525 --> 00:34:21,097 GET NOMINATED OR EVEN WIN, YOU KNOW, GOD WILLING. T'S ‐‐ YOKNOW. 808 00:34:21,097 --> 00:34:24,534 >> Jimmy: I HOPE YOU GET IT UP SOON, IT'S REALLY GOOD. 809 00:34:24,534 --> 00:34:28,371 IT'S CALLED "TWO DISTANT STRANGERS." YOU CANNOT SEE IT. 810 00:34:28,371 --> 00:34:29,105 [ LAUGHTER ] 811 00:34:29,105 --> 00:34:31,107 >> WAIT, I'LL SEND YOU A LINK! 812 00:34:31,107 --> 00:34:33,376 >> Jimmy: CURRENTLY STREAMING ON NOTHING. 813 00:34:33,376 --> 00:34:33,709 [ LAUGHTER ] 814 00:34:33,709 --> 00:34:37,613 UNLESS TRAVON HAS YOUR EMAIL. TRAVON FREE, EVERYBODY! 815 00:34:37,613 --> 00:34:38,114 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 816 00:34:38,114 --> 00:34:43,486 THANKS, TRAV OFF THE N, GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE. 817 00:34:43,486 --> 00:34:44,354 NEXT, MUSIC FROM DAYA! 818 00:34:44,354 --> 00:34:46,255 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 819 00:34:46,255 --> 00:34:49,683 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 820 00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:57,156 DAYA IS ON THE WAY. ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS JUST AROUND 821 00:34:57,156 --> 00:34:59,125 THE CORNER, AND EVEN THOUGH WE CAN'T CELEBRATE LIKE WE USUALLY 822 00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:03,229 DO, I'M EXCITED BECAUSE MY POD‐SON GUILLERMO HAS PREP A 823 00:35:03,229 --> 00:35:08,200 SPECIAL IRISH CELEBRATION FOR JUST THE TWO OF US. 824 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,371 [ RS AND APPLAUSE ] 825 00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:16,041 >> Guillermo: JIMMY, IT'S READY. HAPPY DIA PATRICIO, Y. 826 00:35:16,041 --> 00:35:16,842 >> Jimmy: SI. WHAT'S TON YOUR HEAD? 827 00:35:16,842 --> 00:35:22,915 >> MY HORN, JIMMY. I AM A LEPRICORN. 828 00:35:22,915 --> 00:35:25,985 >> Jimmy: IT'S LEPRECHAUN. LEPRECHAUNS DON'T HAVE HORNS ON 829 00:35:25,985 --> 00:35:27,920 THEIR HEAD. OR ANYWHERE ON THEIR BODY. 830 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:33,826 LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE. OH! 831 00:35:33,826 --> 00:35:34,894 >> Guillermo: CORNED BEEF! 832 00:35:34,894 --> 00:35:35,828 >> Jimmy: WOW. 833 00:35:35,828 --> 00:35:36,161 [ LAUGHTER ] 834 00:35:36,161 --> 00:35:37,897 YOU REALLY CORNED IT, DIDN'T YOU? 835 00:35:37,897 --> 00:35:42,701 >> Guillermo: YES, AND TO DRINK? A GREEN BEER. >> Jimmy: OH, THA. 836 00:35:42,701 --> 00:35:43,034 VERY NICE. 837 00:35:43,034 --> 00:35:45,638 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 838 00:35:45,638 --> 00:35:49,175 MAY I ASK, BEFORE I DRINK THIS, HOW YOU MADE THE BEER GREEN? 839 00:35:49,175 --> 00:35:52,645 >> Guillermo: MY SECRET RECIPE. GUACAMOLE! 840 00:35:52,645 --> 00:35:53,012 [ LAUGHTER ] 841 00:35:53,012 --> 00:35:54,680 >> Jimmy: OKAY. YOU KNOW, I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT 842 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:59,285 TRY TO DO THIS BY YOURSELF. SO I TOOK MATTERS INTO MY OWN 843 00:35:59,285 --> 00:36:02,054 HANDS, DON'T WORRY. WE HAVE INSTACART. 844 00:36:02,054 --> 00:36:04,390 WE CAN GET WHATEVER WE NEED FROM OUR FAVORITE GROCERY STORES AND 845 00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:08,494 MORE IN AS FAST AS TWO HOURS. 846 00:36:08,494 --> 00:36:09,795 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 847 00:36:09,795 --> 00:36:11,630 >> Guillermo: WOW, THAT WAS A FAST TWO HOURS. 848 00:36:11,630 --> 00:36:13,032 >> Jimmy: YES, IT WAS, WASN'T IT? 849 00:36:13,032 --> 00:36:18,537 >> Guillermo: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. JIMMY, YOU SAVED 850 00:36:18,537 --> 00:36:19,672 DIA DE SAN PATRICIO. 851 00:36:19,672 --> 00:36:22,741 >> Jimmy: YES, IDID. WE'VE GOT CABBAGE, WE'VE GOT 852 00:36:22,741 --> 00:36:29,682 ED BEEF, AND WE' ‐‐ OH, DELICIOUS GUINNESS BEER, 853 00:36:29,682 --> 00:36:30,749 THERE YOU GO. 854 00:36:30,749 --> 00:36:35,254 >> Guillermo: WAIT, ONE MORE, MINE, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME. 855 00:36:35,254 --> 00:36:35,588 [ APPLAUSE ] 856 00:36:35,588 --> 00:36:38,824 >> Jimmy: HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, GUILLERMO. 857 00:36:38,824 --> 00:36:40,759 >> Guillermo: THANK YOU, MMY. THIS IS WHY ALL THE WOMEN ARE 858 00:36:40,759 --> 00:36:41,961 CRAZY FOR YOU. 859 00:36:41,961 --> 00:36:42,394 [ LAUGHTER ] 860 00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:44,697 >> Jimmy: I GUESS WHEN YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT. 861 00:36:44,697 --> 00:36:46,932 >> Dicky: GET SAME‐DAY DELIVERY ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY FOOD AND 862 00:36:46,932 --> 00:36:48,167 DRINKS THROUGH INSTACART. DOWNLOAD THE APP, AND TAKE 863 00:36:48,167 --> 00:36:52,371 $25 OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER WITH CODE SHAMROCK25. 864 00:36:57,109 --> 00:36:57,643 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 865 00:36:57,643 --> 00:36:58,008 ♪ 866 00:36:58,008 --> 00:36:58,832 >> Dicky: T "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"ONCERT SERIES IS 867 00:36:58,832 --> 00:37:02,435 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 868 00:37:02,435 --> 00:37:06,706 >> Jmy: WE DID IT, WE MADE A COCK‐A‐DOODLE‐DO. 869 00:37:06,706 --> 00:37:07,040 [ LAUGHTER ] 870 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,610 I WANT TO THANK KEVIN BACON, TRAVON FREE. 871 00:37:10,610 --> 00:37:11,978 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. "NIGHTLINE" NEXT, BUT FIRST, 872 00:37:11,978 --> 00:37:14,848 FROM DOWNTOWN L. A., WITH THE SONG "BAD GIRL," DAYA. 873 00:37:14,848 --> 00:37:18,585 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 874 00:37:19,953 --> 00:37:21,221 ♪ 875 00:37:21,221 --> 00:37:25,892 ♪ 876 00:37:25,892 --> 00:37:26,359 ♪ ALIVE IN THE DARK 877 00:37:26,359 --> 00:37:27,627 AND WE RIDE FOREVER FEELING SO HIGH GOING 878 00:37:27,627 --> 00:37:29,162 DOWN TOGETHER ♪ 879 00:37:29,162 --> 00:37:34,367 ♪ DOWN 880 00:37:34,367 --> 00:37:36,870 FREE SHOTS AT THE BAR FROM THE GUY IN LEATHER 881 00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:40,640 CHEERS TO THE NIGHT THAT ♪ 882 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:46,246 ♪ WE WON'T REMEMBER NOW 883 00:37:46,246 --> 00:37:49,983 NOTHING YOU COULD DO OR SAY IS RIGHT 884 00:37:49,983 --> 00:37:52,252 I ALREADY KNOW JUST ♪ 885 00:37:52,252 --> 00:37:59,159 ♪ WHAT I LIKE 886 00:37:59,159 --> 00:38:01,428 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 887 00:38:01,428 --> 00:38:03,997 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 888 00:38:03,997 --> 00:38:05,532 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 889 00:38:05,532 --> 00:38:07,968 WE GOT WHAT THEY WANT WANT WHAT THEY WANT WANT 890 00:38:07,968 --> 00:38:13,940 THEY CAN LOOK BUT THEY ♪ 891 00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:14,608 ♪ JUST CAN'T TOUCH IT 892 00:38:14,608 --> 00:38:16,343 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 893 00:38:16,343 --> 00:38:17,110 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 894 00:38:17,110 --> 00:38:18,111 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 895 00:38:18,111 --> 00:38:24,184 THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO NO GOOD DON'T LET THEM ♪ 896 00:38:24,184 --> 00:38:29,623 ♪ WISH THEY COULD 897 00:38:29,623 --> 00:38:31,725 DO IT LIKE THIS ALL AROUND THE CLOCK GOT BOYS LININ 898 00:38:31,725 --> 00:38:37,397 ♪ ALL AROUND THE BLOCK 899 00:38:37,397 --> 00:38:40,867 LIGHTING UP FLARES IN THE PARKING LOT 900 00:38:40,867 --> 00:38:41,902 IF WE'RE GONNA LIVE GIVE ♪ 901 00:38:41,902 --> 00:38:46,106 ♪ IT ALL WE GOT 902 00:38:46,106 --> 00:38:52,812 NOTHING YOU COULD DO OR SAY IS RIGHT I ALREADY KNOW ♪ 903 00:38:52,812 --> 00:38:56,082 ♪ JUST WHAT I LIKE 904 00:38:56,082 --> 00:38:59,552 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GL NEED A BAD GIRL 'CAUSE THES ♪ 905 00:38:59,552 --> 00:39:00,754 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 906 00:39:00,754 --> 00:39:02,923 WE GOT WHAT THEY WANT WANT WHAT THEY WANT WANT 907 00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:03,924 THEY CAN LOOK BUT THEY ♪ 908 00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:05,125 ♪ JUST CAN'T IT 909 00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:07,360 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 910 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:08,461 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 911 00:39:08,461 --> 00:39:10,730 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 912 00:39:10,730 --> 00:39:14,334 THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO NO GOOD DON'T LET THEM ♪ 913 00:39:14,334 --> 00:39:14,768 ♪ WISH THEY COULD 914 00:39:14,768 --> 00:39:16,136 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 915 00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:18,471 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ UST DON'T CUT IT 916 00:39:18,471 --> 00:39:20,740 WE GOT WHAT THEY WANT WANT WHAT THEY WANT WANT 917 00:39:20,740 --> 00:39:22,242 THEY CAN LOOK BUT THEY ♪ 918 00:39:22,242 --> 00:39:23,543 ♪ JUST CAN'T TOUCH IT 919 00:39:23,543 --> 00:39:25,512 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 920 00:39:25,512 --> 00:39:27,647 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 921 00:39:27,647 --> 00:39:28,882 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 922 00:39:28,882 --> 00:39:33,119 THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO NO GOOD DON'T LET THEM♪ 923 00:39:33,119 --> 00:39:39,926 ♪ WISH THEY COULD 924 00:39:39,926 --> 00:39:47,200 NOTHING YOU COULD DO OR SAY IS RIGHT I ALREADY KNOW ♪ 925 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,370 ♪ JUST WHAT I LIKE 926 00:39:50,370 --> 00:39:52,939 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 927 00:39:52,939 --> 00:39:54,107 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 928 00:39:54,107 --> 00:39:55,642 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 929 00:39:55,642 --> 00:39:58,144 WE GOT WHAT THEY WANT WANT WHAT THEY WANT WANT 930 00:39:58,144 --> 00:39:59,145 THEY CAN LOOK BUT THEY ♪ 931 00:39:59,145 --> 00:40:01,648 ♪ JUST CAN'T TOUCH IT 932 00:40:01,648 --> 00:40:02,816 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 933 00:40:02,816 --> 00:40:03,883 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 934 00:40:03,883 --> 00:40:05,151 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 935 00:40:05,151 --> 00:40:08,388 THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO NO GOOD DON'T LET THEM ♪ 936 00:40:08,388 --> 00:40:11,358 ♪ WISH THEY COULD 937 00:40:11,358 --> 00:40:17,397 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL NEED A BAD GIRL 938 00:40:17,397 --> 00:40:19,566 'CAUSE THE BAD BOYS ♪ 939 00:40:19,566 --> 00:40:20,834 ♪ JUST DON'T CUT IT 940 00:40:20,834 --> 00:40:23,103 WE GOT WHAT THEY WANT WANT WHAT THEY WANT WANT 941 00:40:23,103 --> 00:40:23,870 THEY CAN LOOK BUT THEY ♪ 942 00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:26,272 ♪ JUST CAN'T TOUCH IT 943 00:40:26,272 --> 00:40:30,744 BAD GIRL, NEED A BAD GIRL JUST DON'T CUT IT 944 00:40:30,744 --> 00:40:34,244 THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO NO GOOD ♪