>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! TONIGHT,
LIONEL RICHIE, JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN,
AND MUSIC FROM CHESCA FEATURING DE LA GHETTO AND OFFSET.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: LET'S SEE, HI, I'M JIMMY, I'M THE HOST.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU GUYS FOR NOT LEAVING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I APPRECIATE THAT, I KNOW WE'RE
HERE TO HAVE FUN. AND I DON'T WANT TO BUM ANYBODY
OUT. BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD ‐‐
REMEMBER THOSE MURDER HISTORY NETS, THE DEADLY MURDER HORNETS?
YEAH, THEY'RE COMING BACK. AND, THEY'RE HORNET‐IER THAN
EVER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SCIENTISTS ARE WARNING THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA NEED TO
TAKE ACTION TO STOP THE HORNETS FROM WREAKING HAVOC THIS SPRING.
MURDER HORNETS ARE COMING AND THEY'RE VERY DANGEROUS.
WHICH IS WHY THEY CALL THEM "MURDER HORNETS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT THEY DO IS THEY CAN DECIMATE A BEEHIVE, TEAR THROUGH
40 BEES A MINUTE, RIP THEIR HEADS OFF AND TAKE THEIR BODIES
FOR FOOD. LIKE IF YOU LET DONALD TRUMP
LOOSE IN A BUFFALO WILD WINGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S BAD FOR ALL OF US IF THE BEES ‐‐ AUTHORITIES ARE SAYING,
DO WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR ALL OF LAST YEAR, STAY INDOORS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAYBE THEY CAN SOMEHOW FILL THE HORNETS WITH THE COVID VACCINE.
THEY CAN GO AROUND AND STING EVERYBODY, YOU'RE GOOD TO GO,
THAT'S A WIN‐WIN. SO THE KILLER BEE KILLERS ARE
BACK AND MARCH MADNESS IS TOO. THE NCAA TOURNAMENT IS UNDER WAY.
YOU KNOW, THEY HAD TO SKIP IT LAST YEAR BECAUSE OF THE
PANDEMIC. BUT THIS YEAR ‐‐ THIS IS THE
YEAR THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION HOW DO YOU HAVE AN OFFICE POOL
WHEN THERE'S NO ONE AT THE OFFICE?
THE ANSWER FOR US IS, YOU DON'T. NOBODY DID IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GUILLERMO, DID YOU FILL OUT A BRACKET?
>> Guillermo: NO, JIMMY, NO.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DO ONE FOR THE TWO OF US.
LIKE IT'S MORE OF AN OFFICE HOP TUB THAN A POOL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Guillermo: SURE YEAH, LET'S DO ONE, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. RUN TO KINKO'S.
GET THOSE PRINTED UP.
>> Guillermo: ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: PRESIDENT OBAMA AS IS HIS TRADITION ‐‐ WHAT DID I MISS?
>> Guillermo: KINKO'S CLOSED, THEY WENT OUT OF BUSINESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: UM. PRESIDENT OBAMA RELEASED HIS ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO GO WATCH THIS AT HOME TONIGHT AND THEN
YOU'RE FIRED, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Guillermo: ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: PRESIDENT OBAMA WENT OUT ON A LIMB, HE TOOK NUMBER
ONE SEED GONZAGA TO GO ALL THE WAY.
WHICH IS INTERESTING WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT GONZAGA AS I HAVE
POINTED OUT IN THE PAST IS NOT EVEN A SCHOOL. IT DOESN'T EXIST.
IT'S IMAGINARY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY MADE IT UP TO WIN BASKETBALL TOURNAMENTS.
IT'S A PRETEND PLACE. IT'S LIKE WAKANDA FOR WHITE
PEOPLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S HOW YOU KNOW THEY'RE RUNNING A SCAM ON US.
THIS IS AN ARTICLE FROM THE CBS NEWS AFFILIATE IN SPOKANE WHERE
GONZAGA CLAIMS TO BE LOCATED. THIS IS THE HEADLINE "WHERE IN
THE WORLD IS GONZAGA UNIVERSITY?" THE LOCAL NEWS STATION IN
SPOKANE IS UNABLE TO FIND THIS MADE‐UP SCHOOL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND OBAMA PICKED THEM TO WIN. OBAMA, GONZAGA, THEY'RE ALL IN
ON IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PRESIDENT BIDEN JUST GOT A NICE LITTLE SHOT IN THE ARM.
YOU KNOW HOW HE SAID HE HOPED TO GET 100 MILLION AMERICANS
VACCINATED BY THE END OF HIS FIRST 100 DAYS IN OFFICE?
WELL, HE BEAT THAT DEADLINE BY SIX WEEKS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ISN'T IT AMAZING WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T PUT JARED IN
CHARGE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT REALLY IS. WE'RE AT 100 MILLION
VACCINATIONS. THE MOST IMPRESSIVE PART, I
DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, THEY DID IT ALL WITH THREE
NEEDLES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY USE 'EM AND WIPE 'EM OFF WITH A RAG.
LIKE THE GRILL AT BENIHANA. IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD TO HAVE A
PRESIDENT WHO ACTUALLY DOES WHAT HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO DO, I
DON'T LIKE IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE. I FEEL LIKE BIDEN'S DOING THAT
THING HUSTLERS DO WHERE THEY PRETEND THEY NEVER PLAYED
BASKETBALL BEFORE? THEN AS SOON AS THE MONEY COMES
OUT, THEY START DUNKING ON EVERYONE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE BIG CHALLENGE NOW WILL BE CAN THEY FIND ANOTHER 100
MILLION AMERICANS WHO WANT IT? CNN DID A VERY FOX NEWSY‐ESQUE
THING. THEY STOPPED BY A RESTAURANT IN
BOISE CITY, OKLAHOMA TO ASK IF ANYONE WAITING FOR THEIR WAFFLES
WAS PLANNING TO ORDER UP A DOSE OF THE VACCINE.
>> DOES ANYBODY IN THIS RESTAURANT THINK IT'S A GOOD
IDEA TO TAKE THE VACCINE?
>> NO!
>> RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
ANYONE HERE, GOOD IDEA TO TAKE THE VACCINE?
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
NOT ONE PERSON HERE THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SAYING, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANOTHER SHOW OF HANDS, WHO THINKS BIGFOOTS ARE GAY, ANYBODY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
PEOPLE IN OKLAHOMA CALL THEMSELVES "SOONERS" 'CAUSE
THEY'RE GOING TO DIE SOONER. IF THEY DON'T GET THE VACCINE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
I HOPE THEY CHANGE THEIR MINDS. LAST NIGHT I MENTIONED THAT
BIDEN SAID HE'S PLANNING TO MAKE RUSSIA PAY FOR THEIR REPEATED
ELECTION MEDDLING. AND HE CALLED VLADIMIR PUTIN A
KILLER. WELL, TODAY PUTIN RESPONDED IN A
WAY THAT WAS VERY PUTIN‐ESQUE.
>> Translator: AS HE SAID, WE KNOW EACH OTHER PERSONALLY.
WHAT WOULD I REPLY TO HIM? I WOULD SAY, I WISH YOU HEALTH,
I WISH YOU HEALTH. I SAY THAT WITHOUT ANY IRONY OR
JOKE.
>> Jimmy: IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, DON'T
DRINK THE CHAMOMILE TEA. THAT WAS MENACING.
REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT JOE BIDEN'S MOTHER WOULD HAVE TO
SAY ABOUT THIS. JOE BIDEN QUOTES HIS MOTHER MORE
THAN ANY PRESIDENT, EVEN VICE PRESIDENT PENCE DIDN'T TALK
ABOUT "MOTHER" AS MUCH AS JOE DOES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELCOME. AS MY MOM WOULD SAY, GOD LOVE
Y'ALL, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
MY MOTHER WOULD SAY, GOD LOVE HIM.
MY MOTHER WOULD SAY, GOD BLESS HIM, NO PURGATORY FOR YOU.
MY MOTHER WOULD SAY, HUSH UP, JOEY.
MY MOTHER WOULD SAY, KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.
HI MOTHER WOULD SAY, GOD LOVE YA.
MY MOM WOULD SAY, WALK A MILE IN YOUR SHOWS.
MY MOTHER WOULD SAY, GOD LOVE YOU ALL.
IF YOU TALK WITH THAT, MY MOTHER WOULD SAY GET YOUR MOUTHWASHED
OUT WITH SOAP. AS MY MOTHER WOULD HAVE SAID,
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
>> Jimmy: HIS MOTHER SAID A LOT OF THINGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MY MOTHER USED TO SAY
[ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ], LEAVE YOUR
SISTER ALONE OR I'LL BREAK YOUR HEAD! WHEN SHE WAS REALLY MAD SHE
WOULD SAY, THIS IS REAL, "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
SHE DIDN'T WANT HER EYES TO BE SOILED BY ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S A FUN STORY INVOLVING OUR PREVIOUS PRESIDENT.
A PLACE CALLED LOUIS TUSSAUD'S WAXWORKS IN SAN ANTONIO HAD TO
REMOVE ITS SCULPTURE OF DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE PEOPLE KEPT
PUNCHING IT IN THE FACE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVERY DAY SOMEONE WOULD PUNCH IT IN THE FACE, THE WAX FIGURE.
THIS HE IS, THIS SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING.
LOOK AT THE GUYS HE'S POSED WITH, PUTIN AND KIM JONG‐UN.
AND THE ONE GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE EVERY DAY?
TRUMP, OUR OWN GUY. WHAT A LIKENESS. ZOOM IN ON THAT.
WHY HE HAS HEATHER LOCKLEAR'S HAIR, I DON'T KNOW.
ANYWAY, BECAUSE OF ALL THE VIOLENT ATTACKS, THEY HAD TO
TAKE THE STATUE DOWN. THAT'S A SHAME.
WHY NOT JUST FILL HIM WITH CANDY AND GIVE EVERYONE A BAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THINGS HAVE BEGUN TO RE‐OPEN AROUND THE COUNTRY AND HERE IN
CALIFORNIA TOO. BY NEXT MONTH THEY SAY THE BIG
THEME PARKS COULD BE UP AND RUNNING AND WHEN THEY DO, IN
ORDER TO REDUCE THE SPREAD OF THE VIRUS, THEY ARE ASKING
CUSTOMERS NOT TO SCREAM ON THE ROLLERCOASTERS. FOR REAL.
WELCOME TO OUR AMUSEMENT PARK. DO NOT SHOW AMUSEMENT!
OR YOU WILL BE EJECTED!
[ LAUGHTER ]
MOVIE THEATERS ARE OPENING UP TOO.
THIS WAS THE FIRST WEEK MOVIE THEATERS WERE OPEN IN L. A.
AND THIS WAS INTERESTING. YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE VIDEO ABOUT
TURNING OFF YOUR CELL PHONE? THEY ADDED THE WORDS "WELCOME
BACK TO THE MOVIES" AND AUDIENCES IN THE THEATERS
CHEERED, ERUPTED WITH CHEERS. UNFORTUNATELY, AS A RESULT OF
THOSE CHEERS, DOZENS OF THEM WERE INFECTED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THE THEATERS IMMEDIATELY SHUT BACK DOWN.
BUT IT'S NICE TO SEE PEOPLE EXCITED. THEY ALSO PUNCHED UP THE
PRE‐SHOW SONG WITH LYRICS MORE SPECIFICALLY SUITED TO OUR
CURRENT SITUATION.
♪ DON'T COUGH ON ANYBODY DON'T
COUGH ON ANYBODY ♪
♪ IF YOU COUGH ON A BODY
SECURITY WILL BEAT YOUR ASS ♪
♪ ENJOY OUR TREATS FROM SIX FEET
AWAY OR MORE ♪
♪ A CHOCOLATE BAR AND CANDY HAVE
BEEN DUNKED IN FRESH HAND SANDY ♪
♪ DON'T COUGH ON ANYBODY OR SAY
GOOD‐BYE TO AMC ♪
♪ DON'T COUGH ON ANYBODY OR SAY
GOOD‐BYE TO AMC ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NICE.
I'LL BE EATING RACE MINUTEETS WITH TONGS.
PEOPLE ARE ALSO HITTING THE GYM AGAIN. NOT ME. BUT SOME PEOPLE.
HERE IN L. A., GYMS AND FITNESS CENTERS ARE NOW OPERATING AT 10%
CAPACITY. AND I WONDER IF IT WILL EVER GO
ALL THE WAY BACK? SALES OF PELOTON BICYCLES ARE UP
172% SINCE THE START OF THE PANDEMIC.
WHICH YOU ALL KNOW BECAUSE EVERY
ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WHO HAS AND USES A PELOTON TELLS YOU ALL
ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ONE OF THE NEW MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD OVER THE
PAST TWELVE MONTHS IS THE FRIEND WHO GOT A PELOTON.
THEY'VE BEEN HOLED UP AT HOME WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT RIDE THE
BIKE AND BRAG ABOUT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PELOTONS ARE THE NEW MARATHONS. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.
AND FORTUNATELY, HELP IS ON THE WAY.
>> YOUR PELOTON HAS TRANSFORMED YOUR BODY AND LIFE.
BUT WHAT'S THE POINT IF YOU HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE IT WITH?
SAY HELLO TO TELOTON. CERTIFIED TELE‐TALKERS ARE
AVAILABLE TO LISTEN TO ALL YOUR BIKE‐RELATED BATTLE.
>> I JUST GOT A NEW PERSONAL BEST!
>> THAT'S AWESOME, JOSH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
>> TELOTON WILL HELP YOU STOP TORTURING THOSE AROUND YOU.
>> GUESS WHO GOT THEIR 100th RIDE?
SPOILER ALERT, IT'S ME, I GOT THE 100th RIDE!
BEST THING I EVER GOT ‐‐
>> STOP TORTURING US.
>> THAT'S FASCINATING, TELL ME MORE!
>> YES, THAT'S MY FIRST SINCE 20 MINUTES!
>> YOU GO, GIRL.
>> EVERY TRIUMPH.
>> NOW IT'S LIKE THERE'S DEFINITION IN MY QUADS.
>> THAT'S CRAZY.
>> EVERY EPIPHANY.
>> THIS BIKE HASN'T JUST CHANGED ME, IT'S SAVED ME.
>> YEAH, YOU MENTIONED THAT.
>> NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS.
>> ONE OF MY TESTES IS A SMIDGE TENDER.
>> THAT'S VILE, SIR.
>> WHY ARE CYCLING SHIRTS SO TIGHT? I'M THINKING OF GETTING A
PELOTON TATTOO. YOU KNOW HOW GREAT I FEEL?
ARE WE FRIENDS?
>> DO YOU PAY $40 TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS?
>> I'M SWEATING FROM MY ELBOWS. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH
THESE FEELINGS?
>> I THINK THAT I DON'T GIVE A
[ BLEEP ].
>> DID I MENTION HOW AMAZING THE BIKE IS?
>> YEP.
>> IF YOU'RE DOING A RIDE WITH SONG SFWRS A MUSICAL YOU
PROBABLY DON'T NEED THE INSTRUCT TORE EXPLAIN THE PLOT OF THE
MUSICAL THE WHOLE TIME.
>> NO, REALLY, HONESTLY, KEEP GOING.
>> REALLY, WHAT IS COOLER THAN OWNING A STATIONARY BIKE?
>> OKAY. TOP 12 INSTRUCTORS NOT IN
ALPHABETICAL ORDER.
>> NO, [ BLEEP ], THIS STOPS NOW.
NOBODY GIVES A [ BLEEP ] ABOUT YOUR STUPID [ BLEEP ] BIKE!
>> TELOTON. BECAUSE YOU WON'T SHUT THE
[ BLEEP ] UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID
BIKE.
>> SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S BASED ON A TRUE STORY. IT'S TWO OF OUR WRITERS.
THAT'S OUR COMMUNITY THEATER. TWO OF OUR WRITERS, JOELLE AND
JOSH. THE BEST PART IS, OUR WRITER
JOSH, WHO WAS IN THAT BIT, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A BIKE.
I HAD TO TEACH HIM OW TO RIDE A BIKE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
AND YES. HE CAN ONLY RIDE ONE SCREWED TO
THE GROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU LOOK GREAT, YOUR BODY, IT'S REALLY PAYING OFF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND ONE MORE THING BEFORE WE CRACK ON, IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT.
WHICH MEANS IT'S TIME TO BLEEP AND BLUR THE BIG TV MOMENTS OF
THE WEEK. IT'S TIME FOR "THIS WEEK IN
UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP."
>> A PIECE OF INFORMATION THAT CAME TO LIGHT TODAY WAS THE
GOVERNOR'S PREOCCUPATION WITH HIS [ BLEEP ] SIZE.
>> SMALL [ BLEEP ] ARE THE BACKBONE OF OUR COMMUNITY.
>> CHECK OUT WHAT I GOT FOR TODAY, I GOT A MASK THAT SAYS
[ BLEEP ] ME, I'M IRISH.
>> OH, NICE!
>> I LOVE YOU. AND ‐‐ I WILL [ BLEEP ] YOU
EVERY DAY FROM HERE ON OUT IF YOU'LL LET ME.
>> THE IMPLEMENTATION OF THE PROGRAM OF GETTING [ BLEEP ]
INTO PEOPLE'S [ BLEEP ] IS REALLY ACCELERATING GREATLY.
>> YOU KNOW VLADIMIR PUTIN, YOU THINK HE'S A [ BLEEP ]?
>> UH‐HUH, I DO.
>> ONE OF THE REASONS YOU'RE SUCH A [ BLEEP ] IS THAT YOU
REMEMBERED TO SAY [ BLEEP ],
[ BLEEP ].
>> [ BLEEP ] DEFINITELY JOHN MAYER, WHERE IS HE, JOHN?
I WANT TO [ BLEEP ] YOU.
♪
>> MY OLD T‐SHIRT WAS COVERED IN
[ BLEEP ].
>> SPONGEBOB, WATCH THIS!
>> HEY, YOU GOT YOUR [ BLEEP ] IN MY PEANUT BUTTER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT,
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN IS WITH US. WE HAVE MUSIC FROM CHESCA
WITH DE LA GHETTO AND OFFSET. BE RIGHT BACK WITH LIONEL RICHIE!
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE, WELCOME BACK.
TONIGHT, FROM "THE WALKING DEAD" NEGAN HIMSELF,
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN IS WITH US. THEN, LATER, A TRIO OF
PERFORMERS JOIN FORCES FOR THIS SONG "COMO TU DIRTY," MUSIC FROM
CHESCA WITH DE LA GHETTO AND OFFSET.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT HAS FOUR GRAMMYS, AN OSCAR, A GOLDEN
GLOBE. HE IS A KENNEDY CENTER HONOREE
AND THE REASON A TEENAGE JIMMY KIMMEL WENT TO CONCERTS
WITH MY MOTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE IS A JUDGE ON "AMERICAN IDOL" SUNDAYS AND MONDAYS HERE ON ABC.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO LIONEL RICHIE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU? WELCOME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WELCOME. IT IS MY HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE.
>> IT IS.
>> Jimmy: HOW YOU DOING?
>> DID YOU HEAR THAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DID, I HEARD THAT.
>> THAT WAS AN AUDIENCE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AN AUDIENCE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE AUDIENCE CAME TO LIFE.
>> YOU KNOW, JIMMY, I GOT TO TELL YOU.
ANY TIME WE'VE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS AND YOU CALL AN
AUDIENCE, REMEMBER BACK IN THE DAY WHEN YOU HAD AN AUDIENCE?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M SITTING AT THE HOUSE. AND THEY SAID, DO YOU WANT TO DO
THIS VIA ZOOM? OR DO YOU WANT TO BE LIVE?
I SAID, DO THEY HAVE AN AUDIENCE?
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH?
>> AND I SAID ‐‐ THEY SAID, YES. I SAID, I'LL BE THERE, I'M
COMING DOWN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THE AUDIENCE. LIKE A MOTH TO THE FLAME.
>> NOW, NOW LET ME ACKNOWLEDGE JOSH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, JOSH. OH, YEAH, JOSH, THERE HE IS.
>> YOU ARE A STAR, MY FRIEND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN TELL HE'S A STAR?
WHEN HE'S ON CAMERA HIS GLASSES STEAM UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE IN THE
AUDIENCE, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE. JOSH, I LOVE YOU.
>> THANK YOU. THAT MEANS A LOT, I LOVE YOU,
THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S A VEGAS TIP WHAT IS THAT
IS RIGHT THERE.
>> THAT'S A VEGAS MOMENT.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE GOING BACK TO LAS VEGAS TO DO YOUR SHOW THERE.
>> YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THIS IS INTERESTING AND EXCITING FOR A COUPLE OF
REASONS. BUT FIRST OF ALL, WHERE ARE YOU
GOING? AND WHEN WILL YOU BE THERE?
>> IT WILL BE AT THE WYNN AT SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER.
AND IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT, ONCE I GO IN, I'LL
NEVER COME OUT.
>> Jimmy: I SAW YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME IN VEGAS.
IT WAS PROBABLY 1984. I'VE TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE.
I WAS THERE WITH MY MOM BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET A DATE.
AND YET I HAD ‐‐ IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT. IT WAS VERY EXCITING.
I THINK IT WAS LIKE THE "CANCEL
IT DOWN" TOUR. I HARBOR THIS DREAM, SEPTEMBER,
OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, I WILL SING "ENDLESS LOVE" WITH YOU ON STAGE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
A DUET. I WILL TAKE ON THE DIANA ROSS
PART.
>> UM ‐‐ JIMMY?
>> Jimmy: YES?
>> I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU SING BEFORE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I'M ‐‐ I'M PRAYING. BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SAY THIS.
I WOULD LOVE YOU TO JOIN ME ON STAGE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WONDERFUL.
>> NOW ‐‐
>> Jimmy: OH, THERE'S MORE?
>> YEAH, THERE'S MORE.
>> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO THROW TO COMMERCIAL ‐‐
>> NO, NO, THERE'S MORE. THERE'S A SHOT OF YOU IN MY
COMMODORE OUTFIT. I HOPE YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU DID
THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> IF THAT'S INDICATION, I KNOW YOU'RE READY TO GO.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S SERIOUS.
>> THAT'S SERIOUS.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS A GRAMMY MUSIC CARES EVENT, MUSIC CARES
FOUNDATION, THEY HONORED YOU. THEY ASKED IF I WOULD HOST, AND
OF COURSE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.
>> Jimmy: AND I DRESSED LIKE YOU, AND I'LL PROBABLY GET
THROWN OFF TELEVISION, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
SO YOU'RE SAYING TO THE WORLD, THIS IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE IT'S
NOT JUST ABOUT YOUR SHOW. YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU BELIEVE
THE WORLD ‐‐ WE WILL BE BACK SEEING CONCERTS, LIVE MUSIC, IN
LAS VEGAS, IN SEPTEMBER OF THIS YEAR?
>> THIS IS MY BELIEF. YES, YOUR HONOR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
>> NO, NO, SERIOUSLY.
>> Jimmy: WE TRUST YOU MORE THAN ANYONE.
>> IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, I TELL YOU, IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
IF THEY STOP ME ONE MORE TIME AND SAY, WHEN ARE YOU PLAYING?
THE ANSWER IS, SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER I'M SAYING.
>> Jimmy: PEOPLE ARE STOPPING YOU? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN
YOUR HOUSE, NOT GOING AROUND?
>> NO, I AM OUT.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE OUT?
>> THE FUNNY THING, I DRIVE DOWN SUNSET.
I TRY TO BE INCOGNITO, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> WITH MASKS, WITH HOODIES, THE WHOLE THING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH?
>> CAR HONK. "HI, MR. RITCHIE, HOW ARE YOU?"
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE BELOVED. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE
BELOVED.
>> I MUST TELL YOU, I MISS THE HUGS.
BECAUSE PEOPLE IN THE OLD DAYS, BACK IN THE DAY, PEOPLE WOULD
COME UP TO YOU, GIVE YOU A HUG, AND SAY ‐‐ AND NOW YOU KIND OF
GO ‐‐
>> Jimmy: OLD DAYS, LIKE 2019?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO, EIGHT MONTHS AGO.
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE'LL BE BACK TO HUGGING, I BELIEVE WE WILL BE
BACK. YOU DON'T LIKE THIS, NOBODY LIKES THIS.
>> THAT'S MY ROUTINE ON "AMERICAN IDOL."
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. YOU CONSOLE THE LOSERS TO THE
POINT WHERE THEY FEEL LIKE MAYBE THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOSE, BUT THEY
DID LOSE, AND THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT THAT GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE NOT ON THAT SHOW.
>> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT LAS VEGAS. I'M FROM LAS VEGAS.
I WONDER WHAT YOU DO WHILE YOU'RE THERE.
I ALSO WONDER ABOUT THOSE OLD DAYS WHEN YOU WERE IN VEGAS.
WHAT WAS THE FIRST TIME ‐‐ I ASSUME YOU WERE THERE WITH THE
COMMODORES?
>> THERE WITH THE COMMODORES, I THINK WE PLAYED THE ALADDIN.
>> Jimmy: THE ALADDIN.
>> THAT WAS JUST ‐‐ THAT WAS SHOW BUSINESS, THAT WAS IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IF YOU MADE TO IT VEGAS, YOU WERE IN THE BIG TIME.
>> Jimmy: THE COMMODORES SONG "ZOOM" COULD MAKE A LOT OF MONEY
RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU KNOW I'M WORKING ON THAT.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU?
>> YES, I AM. THE COMMODORES SONG, EVERYBODY
IN THE WORLD WILL SAY TO ME, THAT IS THE THEME SONG FOR THIS
SHOW, FOR THE ZOOM ‐‐
>> Jimmy: FOR THE YEAR.
>> FOR THE YEAR, EVERYTHING. WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW IS
TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH EVERYBODY IN THIS ‐‐ USED TO BE
YOU PICK UP A PHONE AND CALLED. NOW THEY GO, SET UP A ZOOM CALL,
WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU. IT'S IN THE WORKS.
THAT WOULD BE IDEAL.
>> Jimmy: DON'T WAIT TOO LONG, WE'RE ALMOST DONE WITH IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I KNOW, YEAH, I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER MEET ELVIS PRESLEY?
>> MISSED HIM, THAT WAS BEFORE MY TIME.
>> Jimmy: DON RICKLES?
>> MR. INSULT HIMSELF? YES, OF COURSE.
>> Jimmy: YES?
>> I LOVED DON RICKLES.
>> Jimmy: THE BEST.
>> HE WAS THE BEST. GREAT STORY, HE CAME IN ONE DAY.
MY FATHER SAW HIM WALK INTO A RESTAURANT.
DON WALKED PAST THE TABLE, DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
HE CAME BACK, WALKED BACK OVER TO THE TABLE.
WENT OUT, DIDN'T SAY ANOTHER WORD. CAME BACK IN, MY DAD SAID,
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH DON RICKLES, HE'S NOT BEING HIMSELF.
DON CAME TO THE TABLE AND SAID, I CHECKED WITH THE MANAGEMENT,
IT'S OKAY FOR YOU PEOPLE TO BE HERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND MY DAD SAID, THAT'S HIM!
>> Jimmy: THAT'S QUITE A JOKE. LIBERACE?
>> YES, MR. MY JACKET FIRST.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU PERFORM WITH HIM, PLAY PIANO?
>> NO, NEVER PLAYED WITH HIM. I SAT IN ON THE SHOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU DID?
>> IT WAS AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S LIKE ME AND YOU ON THE STAGE TOGETHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE HE HAS COME BACK TO LIFE.
I MIGHT EVEN DRESS LIKE LIBERACE FOR THIS.
>> HE'S PUSHING THIS. HE'S PUSHING IT. YES.
>> Jimmy: TELL ME ABOUT THIS PHOTOGRAPH.
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.
LIONEL RICHIE, FRANK SINATRA, SAMMY DAVIS JR.
>> WELL, I'LL GO RIGHT TO IT. THAT WAS AT THE SHARE SHOW.
"ALL NIGHT LONG" HAD JUST COME ON. I WAS COMING ON JUST BEFORE
FRANK BEING SAMMY. GEORGE SLAUGHTER ‐‐
>> Jimmy: GREAT PRODUCER.
>> "LAUGH IN." HE SAID, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO ON
AFTER THIS KID, YOU GUYS WANT TO GO ON BEFORE THIS KID.
THEY SAID, WE GO ON LIKE WE ALWAYS DO, WE'RE LAST ON THE
SHOW. I GO OUT, I DO ALL MY SONGS.
I CAME BACK. TO GIVE THE CELEBRATORY, FRANK,
DEAN, SAMMY. I SAID, WHERE'S FRANK, DEAN, AND
SAMMY? THEY'RE AT THE BAR. THEY SAW ME AND SAID, OH MY GOD
ARE.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> YEARS LATER, I MET ‐‐ I WAS HANGING AND I GOT THIS CALL THAT
FRANK SINATRA WANTED ME ‐‐ HE WAS DOING HIS FINAL TOUR.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> AND HE WANTED ME, HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS, ON ONE BUS.
AND HE CALLED AND SAID, HE WANTS ME TO BE ON THAT BUS.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> WARREN BEATTY. JACK NICHOLSON.
I MEAN, WHAT AM I DOING ON THIS BUS? AND I SAID, I JUST GOT A
DIVORCE, I DON'T HAVE A DATE. HE SAID, I'LL FIND A DATE FOR
YOU, DINAH SHORE WAS MY DATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> BUT I GO TO THE ‐‐ GO BACKSTAGE.
YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FRANK, HE'S AN AMAZING ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW
WHETHER IT'S AN ITALIAN THING. BUT HE SLAPS AND PINCHES YOUR
CHEEKS.
>> Jimmy: IT IS AN ITALIAN THING.
>> RIGHT? HE GOES, LIONEL, HOW ARE YOU,
BUDDY? I'M THINKING, OKAY. THEN HE GOES, LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH IN LIFE TO HAVE ONE HIT
RECORD THAT PEOPLE ASK FOR OVER AND OVER AGAIN, YOU GOT YOURSELF
A CAREER. YOU, YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH,
HE SAYS, NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE, BUT YOU WROTE
THEM ALL. THEN HE GOES, ISN'T THAT
WONDERFUL, LIONEL? AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, THIS
GUY, DOES HE LIKE ME?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YES, THAT MEANS HE LIKES YOU, YES. ITALIAN‐AMERICAN.
>> HE CALLED ME NAMES, DOES HE LIKE ME?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE EVERY SONG HE SANG, HE ONLY GOT ONE‐THIRD
OF THE MONEY.
>> HE WAS ALSO THE GREATEST INTERPRETER OF A WRITER.
YOU WANTED FRANK TO SING YOUR SONG.
>> Jimmy: SURE, YEAH. DID HE EVER DO ONE OF YOUR SONGS?
>> THAT CLOSE.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> I HAD A SONG I WROTE FOR THEM.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> LENA HORNE, FRANK SINATRA. AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE, IF YOU
KNOW FRANK, FRANK SAID, I DON'T NEED A REHEARSAL.
I JUST NEED TO SING IT. LENA SAID, I NEED A REHEARSAL.
BECAUSE FRANK GOES IN, AT THAT TIME, HERE'S THE ORCHESTRA,
THERE'S THE THING, YOU SING IT, IT'S DONE.
LENA SAID, I CAN'T DO IT, I NEED A REHEARSAL. THAT CLOSE.
>> Jimmy: YOU COULD HAVE SLID DINAH SHORE IN THERE.
>> DINAH COULD HAVE BEEN THE MEDIATOR, PULLED THAT THING OFF.
>> Jimmy: LIONEL RICHIE IS WITH US, ONE OF THE JUDGES FROM
"AMERICAN IDOL."
♪
>> Jimmy: WE ARE BACK. JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN AND CHESKA
ARE COMING UP TOGETHER. LIONEL RICHIE IS HERE WITH US.
HE IS ONE OF THE JUDGES ON "AMERICAN IDOL."
THINGS ARE GOING FINE ON THE SHOW EVEN THOUGH YOU DO IT
REMOTELY NOW?
>> THE TALENT, BECAUSE WE'RE DOING ALL OF THE AUDITIONS
REMOTE AND ONLINE, THE TALENT WE'RE GETTING FROM PLACES I'VE
NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE. BECAUSE NORMALLY BEFORE, THEY
HAD TO MAKE TO IT A BIG CITY.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, THEY HAD TO BE IN THE RANGE OF A BIG CITY.
>> WE ARE FINDING TALENT THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR OWN SONGS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> NOT THAT I CAN RECALL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I PROBABLY GOT MY LYRICS A LOT FROM THAT.
>> Jimmy: WE HAD A QUICK CONVERSATION DURING THE
COMMERCIAL. WILL YOU PLEASE TELL THE BOB
DYLAN STORY?
>> YES, I WILL. YOU LIKE THAT STORY?
>> Jimmy: I LIKE IT.
>> WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BOB DYLAN.
THE FIRST PLACE I MET BOB DYLAN WAS IN BUFFALO, NEW YORK.
THE COMMODORES WERE CHECKING INTO A HOTEL.
BOB DYLAN WAS AT THE COUNTER. HE SAW THIS GROUP█ OF PEOPLE
WALKING IN. YOU SAW ‐‐ HE'S VERY SHY.
HE RAN OVER TO THE NEXT ROOM, WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS THE NEXT
ROOM, A CLOSET. SO HE RAN IN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. THAT WAS BOB DYLAN.
I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR. AND I SAID, MR. DYLAN, I WAS
GOING TO TELL YOU, I'M LIONEL RICHIE WITH THE COMMODORES AND
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOURS. HE SAID, GOOD TO MEET YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I CLOSED THE DOOR. BOB WAS IN THE CLOSET.
>> Jimmy: YOU MUST WRITE A BOOK. YOU TOLD ME LAST TIME YOU WERE
HERE, I SAID, YOU HAVE TO WRITE A BOOK, AND YOU SAID SOMETHING
LIKE, ALL THE PEOPLE I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT HAVE TO DIE FIRST.
>> YES, A LOT OF THE STORIES ARE HILARIOUS.
>> Jimmy: YES?
>> THE POINT IS YOU HAVE TO WAIT A MOMENT.
BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS THEIR ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WE'VE WAITED LONG ENOUGH.
YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HOLE UP IN VEGAS, ONLY WORKING A COUPLE
HOURS A NIGHT, BANG THIS THING OUT IN NO TIME.
>> YOU AND MY MANAGER ARE ON THE SAME PAGE.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD LIKE TO BE YOUR MANAGER.
BY THE WAY, YOUR TRIBUTE TO KENNY ROGERS, VERY CLOSE FRIEND,
WAS BEAUTIFUL ON THE GRAMMYS ON SUNDAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WAS THAT DIFFICULT TO DO?
>> I ‐‐ EVERYONE WAS SAYING, GOD, WE WISH YOU COULD SING THE
SONG LOUDER. THE PROBLEM I WAS HAVING WAS, I
ONLY KNOW HOW TO SING THAT SONG WITH KENNY.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> SO I DIDN'T REALLY GET EMOTIONAL UNTIL I REALIZED, I'M
SINGING KENNY'S PART. AND SO WHEN I REALIZED ‐‐ I KEPT
WAITING FOR KENNY TO COME IN. I REALIZED, HE'S NOT GOING TO
COME IN. I'VE GOT TO SING THAT PART.
JUST REMEMBERING THAT THIS IS HIS PART.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> TOOK ME OUT.
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE KENNY WOULD WANT YOU TO WRITE THIS
BOOK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S IN IT A LOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THE TITLE, IT'S GOT TO BE CALLED
"HELLO."
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: OBVIOUSLY "HELLO."
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE. I LOVE HAVING YOU HERE.
I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE'RE ON STAGE TOGETHER IN LAS VEGAS
SINGING OUR HEARTS OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I COME HERE TO VISIT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M COMING HERE FOR ANY OTHER THING.
IT'S DELIGHTFUL TO BE HERE, I LOVE YOU, MAN.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU TOO. I LOVE HAVING YOU HERE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US. LIONEL RICHIE, EVERYBODY.
"AMERICAN IDOL" SUNDAYS AND MONDAYS.
HE'S COMING TO LAS VEGAS IN SEPTEMBER.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN!
>> Jimmy: HELLO AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF "COLD CAKE
UNSOLVED MYSTERY FILES." TONIGHT'S MYSTERY, WHICH DARK
AND TWISTED CRIMINAL STOLE THE LAST BITE OF CHEESECAKE FROM OUR
EMPLOYEE KITCHEN? ONE EYEWITNESS WHO WANTS TO
REMAIN ANONYMOUS IS HERE TO TELL ALL. WE'LL CALL HIM SHARON.
SHARON?
>> I SAW HIM WITH MY OWN EYES, IT WAS A LADY FROM ACCOUNTING.
SHE WAS EATING IT WITH HER BIG TEETH.
OR MAYBE IT WAS A ‐‐ IT WAS VERY
DARK AND I WAS ‐‐ VERY HUNGRY.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO, CAUGHT RED HANDED AND PASTRY‐FACED.
NEXT TIME TREAT YOURSELF TO A PHILADELPHIA CHEESECAKE CRUMBLE.
>> MY NAME IS SHARON.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
>> MY NAME IS SHARON.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, SHARON. SPEAKING OF SHARON, WITH A
PERSONAL SERVING OF CHEESECAKE TO ENJOY ALL BY YOURSELF, YOU'LL
NO LONGER HAVE TO SHARE YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT.
THIS SHOULD PUT AN END TO YOUR DECADENT CRIMES.
>> Guillermo: HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T, BUT I DO NOW.
IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH THE LAST‐BITE DILEMMA IN YOUR HOME
OR OFFICE, TRY PHILADELPHIA CHEESECAKE CRUMBLE.
THE LAST BITE IS NOT MEANT TO BE SHARED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM CHESCA IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST HAS BEEN BATTLING GLOBAL OUTBREAKS LONG BEFORE
COVID. YOU CAN SEE HIM VACCINATE ZOMBIES WITH HIS BAT ON "THE
WALKING DEAD" SUNDAY NIGHTS ON AMC WITH A SEASON FINALE.
HIS ORIGIN STORY, TITLED "HERE'S NEGAN" ON APRIL 4th.
HERE'S A BIT OF THAT.
>> DAMMIT.
>> IT'S NOT LIKE KILLING A PERSON.
IT'S LIKE KILLING AN ANIMAL.
>> IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME. I'M JUST WORRIED THAT I'M GOING
TO GET USED TO IT.
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: PLEASE WELCOME JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY, JEFFREY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GREAT, JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M DOING ALL RIGHT. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
>> I AM IN GEORGIA AT THE HOUSE ‐‐ OUR HOUSE IN GEORGIA.
HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE WORKING, HUH? SHOOTING RIGHT NOW?
>> I AM WORKING, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: LIONEL RICHIE, HE WAS HERE.
>> I KNOW, I KNOW. I WISH I WAS THERE TOO.
YOU LOOK GOOD. BUT WE BELIEVE HE HASN'T MADE
LOVE TO HIS OWN SONGS BEFORE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO.
>> COME ON. "THREE TIMES A LADY."
>> Jimmy: OH, ABSOLUTELY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHOO!
I WAS CALLING B. S. OVER THE COMPUTER HERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
BESIDES WORKING, OBVIOUSLY?
>> THAT'S IT, WORKING. WE STARTED LIKE TWO MONTHS AGO.
AND I THINK TODAY'S THE FIRST DAY OFF I'VE HAD SINCE WE
STARTED. SO IT'S BEEN A LOT OF WORK.
AND NOT ENOUGH SLEEP. AND OF COURSE THE SECOND I STOP
WORKING, I JUST GOT THE FLU.
>> Jimmy: OH, YOU DID? BUT I WAS TESTED LIKE 800 TIMES
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW.
THE MINUTE YOU GET SNIFFLES, EVERYONE'S LIKE ‐‐ YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON TO GET THE FLU THIS YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, AND I HAD THE FLU SHOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAD THE FLU SHOT TOO?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S CRAZY.
>> YEAH, SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL AT ALL?
>> NO, I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT SLEEPING.
I ALSO HAVE A 2, JUST TOURED 3‐YEAR‐OLD GIRL, WHO DOES NOT
UNDERSTAND NIGHT SHOOTS, AND 6:00 IN THE MORNING SEEMS LIKE A
GOOD TIME TO SAY HI TO DAD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU EXHAUSTED?
>> I'M SO EXHAUSTED, IN FACT, THAT ‐‐ YOU KNOW, LIKE THE CBD
GUMMY ACTION THAT YOU CAN HAVE?
>> Jimmy: I'VE HEARD ABOUT THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'VE NOT SEEN ANY MYSELF.
>> I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT THEM MYSELF.
BUT I HAD A FRIEND SEND ME SOME. AND I WOULD TAKE THEM JUST TO
HELP ME SLEEP. HELP WITH BODY ACHES, THAT KIND
OF THING. SO THE OTHER NIGHT I WAS
EXCEEDINGLY TIRED. BUT I WAS HURTING.
BUT I POPPED A COUPLE. AND I WENT TO BED.
AND I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY THINKING, MAN, I FEEL ‐‐ I FEEL
PRETTY GOOD. I GOT SOME GOOD SLEEP.
CUT TO ABOUT AN HOUR LATER. MY PHONE IS RINGING OFF THE HOOK.
I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE NUMBER. WHO IS CALLING ME?
FINALLY THEY START LEAVING MESSAGES. A LOT OF MESSAGES.
I LISTEN TO ONE, IT'S LIKE, HEY, WE'RE JUST CALLING TO
CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR TESLA PURCHASE.
AND I'M LIKE ‐‐ A TESLA? TESLA S? APPARENTLY.
I'M LIKE, WELL, THAT'S A MISTAKE. THAT'S A BAD MISTAKE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND TURNS OUT THAT I WENT ONLINE, AND I BUILT A TESLA S
ONLINE, STACKED IT WITH EVERY OPTION, PUT A DOWN PAYMENT ON IT.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
>> AND DIDN'T REMEMBER A THING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO WAY.
>> NONE OF IT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THE CBD THINGS, I THINK I TOOK THE WRONG ONES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH. SO I CALLED THEM. FIRST I EMAILED THEM.
I SAID, IT WAS A MISTAKE, A BAD, BAD MISTAKE, SORRY.
IT'S THE RIGHT NUMBER BUT WRONG GUY, I MADE A MISTAKE.
AND THEY SAID, SOMEONE HAS TO CALL YOU AND CONFIRM IT OVER THE
PHONE. AND I'M LIKE, OH, GOD, ALL RIGHT. BRING ON THE PHONE CALL.
THE GUY CALLS. HE'S LIKE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO KEEP SOME OF THAT DEPOSIT YOU PUT FOR THE CAR. I'M LIKE, WHAT?
HE GOES, WELL, THE CAR'S $137,000.
$127,000. YOU LOSE A COUPLE HUNDRED
DOLLARS FOR DEPOSIT. ONCE YOU GO INTO BUILD MODE,
THEY KEEP MONEY.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
>> THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE IN PRICE, SO ENJOY YOUR COUPLE
HUNDRED DOLLARS, AND I'M SORRY I CAN'T EAT CBD GUMNIES ANYMORE,
THAT'S THE END OF IT.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE CBG GUMMYS?
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT FSHLG I'M WONDERING IF HE SENT ME A
COUPLE DIFFERENT THINGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A COUPLE OF SWEDISH FISH IN THERE
TOO.
>> YEAH. I THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO THERE'S MY ‐‐ THAT WAS MY GOOD STORY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A VERY GOOD STORY.
>> FIELD DAY WITH THAT ONE. TELLING MY WIFE ALSO WAS A
THRILL.
>> Jimmy: I WONDERED. YOU KNOW WHAT, IF I WAS YOU I'D
MAYBE LOOK AT THE SECURITY CAMERA TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW
YOU GOT THE FLU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MAYBE.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE OTHER LIFE GOING ON.
>> I'VE GOT A WHOLE OTHER LIFE GOING ON. WAS I IN THE HOUSE?
WHO KNOWS?
>> Jimmy: IT'S CRAZY.
>> SWEDISH FISH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SWEDISH FISH, THEY'LL DO IT DO YOU EVERY TIME.
BOY, I ENJOYED SEEING THAT CLIP OF YOU, THAT FLASHBACK CLIP,
WITH YOUR LIFE, LUCILLE. IS THERE A PLAN TO MAYBE DO A
SPINOFF SHOW OF SOME KIND WITH YOUR CHARACTER?
>> WELL, THERE'S TALK. THERE'S BEEN SOME TALKS.
I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, BETWEEN AMC AND THE GOOD FOLKS INVOLVED
WITH "WALKING DEAD," I THINK THEY'VE ASKED IF THERE'S ANY
INTEREST ON MY END. BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY'VE
ALSO TALKED TO MANY OF THE CHARACTERS TO SEE WHO'S
INTERESTED IN KIND OF CARRYING ON THE STORY.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> NOT JUST NEGAN. YOU KNOW.
THIS ALL KIND OF CAME ABOUT, THIS BEING THE LAST SEASON, KIND
OF CAME ABOUT AS A BIT OF A SURPRISE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
PANDEMIC. AND SO IT WAS SORT OF A PIVOT
FOR EVERYBODY AND THE SHOW STORY‐WISE AND OTHERWISE.
AND SO I THINK IT'S JUST ‐‐ WE'LL SEE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I THINK THERE'S CERTAINLY MORE STORY FOR NEGAN.
I THINK HE'S A VERY ‐‐ BECOMING MORE INTERESTING EACH EPISODE,
IN FACT. SO WE'LL SEE.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE NEGAN CRUISING AROUND IN A TESLA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, JEFFREY. I KNOW YOU AREN'T FEELING WELL.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO CHAT WITH US.
"THE WALKING DEAD" IS SUNDAY ON AMC. JEFFREY DOES NOT HAVE COVID,
YOU'RE FREE TO TOUCH HIM.
>> NO, I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: THE SEASON FINALE "HERE'S NEGAN" AIRS APRIL 4th.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MUSIC FROM CHESKA. THANK YOU, JEFFREY.
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ.
THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK LIONEL RICHIE AND
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN, APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT, BUT FIRST
THE SONG IS CALLED "COMO TU DIRTY" WITH SOME HELP FROM
DE LA GHETTO AND OFFSET, CHESCA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪ COME BACK
LET ME GET MY REMATCH TAKE THIS THUG LOVE
YOUR BODY A DRUG ♪
♪ I'M BOUT TO RELAPSE
YOUR LIL BODY'S A SCRUB HIS MONEY AIN'T LONG
THIS BE KNEECAP ♪
♪ I CAN KICK MY FEET BACK
MAYBACH LET THE SEAT BACK SHE ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M ON ♪
♪ SHE BETTER PICK
UP THE PHONE BREAKING HER BACK AND HER BONES ♪
♪ LAMBOS AND BENTLEY'S
I'M GROWN THESE BE TRYING TO GET ON AND IT'S SAD ♪
♪ SHE GOT NOTHING
BUT A THONG ON MAKING HER CALL ME DAD
I DON'T NEED ♪
♪ NO COLOGNE ON
SMELLING LIKE BAGS OF CASH DON'T LOOK AT MY
JUST LOOK AT MY WRIST ♪
♪ ITS SHATTERED GLASS
LET'S GO ON A TRIP LET'S GO ON A SHIP
FORGET THE PAST ♪
♪ MY TOO BAD
MY COUP TOO FAST
I DRIP IN RALPH ♪
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪
♪ EVERY TIME YOU SEE ME ACTING
LIKE I WANTA ♪
♪ YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME BUT YOU
KNOW ME WELL ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT TURN THE HEAT UP
THEN I TELL YA ♪
♪
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
♪