>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD ‐‐ IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!"
TONIGHT ‐‐ BOB ODENKIRK, NICOLE BYER, AND MUSIC FROM
TATE MCRAE. AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE. HI, EVERYONE. I'M JIMMY.
I'M THE HOST OF THIS, WHICH IS WHAT WE CALL A SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON
A SPECIAL DAY, NATIONAL DOCTORS DAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS IS THE DAY ON WHICH WE HONOR THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE
REALLY THE ONLY STRANGERS YOU CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE ASKING,
"WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS LUMP ON MY BUTT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
NOBODY IS OUT BANGING POTS AND PANS FOR THE DOCTORS ANYMORE.
EXCEPT FOR DR. PHIL. EVERY NIGHT AT AROUND MIDNIGHT,
I DRIVE BY HIS HOUSE AND BANG ON A CROCKPOT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT WE SHOULD BE. WE ARE HOPEFULLY COMING OUT OF
THE COVID TUNNEL THANKS TO DOCTORS. THANKS TO SCIENTISTS.
EVERY COUNTRY HAS HAD TO FEND FOR ITSELF DURING THIS THING.
WHICH DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE A WORLDWIDE
THREAT. AND SO NOW, A NUMBER OF WORLD
LEADERS ARE SIGNING WHAT THEY CALL A PANDEMIC TREATY THAT
WOULD PUT US A BETTER POSITION TO COLLABORATE WHEN THIS
INEVITABLY HAPPENS AGAIN. GERMANY, FRANCE, ENGLAND ‐‐
THEY'RE ALL ON BOARD. THEY SAY THAT IF HUMANS WANT TO
SURVIVE AS A SPECIES, WE ALL NEED TO WORK TOGETHER, INSTEAD
OF SELFISHLY FOCUSING ON OUR OWN INDIVIDUAL COUNTRIES.
IN OTHER WORDS, WE'RE DOOMED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. YOU KNOW THOSE MOVIES WHEN THE
ALIENS SHOW UP AND THE NATIONS JOIN FORCES TO FIGHT THEM OFF?
I THINK WE'VE LEARNED FROM COVID THAT IF THAT DOES HAPPEN, WE'LL
BE LIKE, "YOU GUYS SHOULD GO CONQUER SWITZERLAND.
THEY HAVE NO WEAPONS AT ALL."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"EVEN THEIR CHEESE HAS HOLES IN IT."
THIS IS KIND OF UNBELIEVABLE, BUT ALSO PAR FOR THE COURSE.
THERE IS A CONTROVERSY NOW OVER WHERE WE HAVE CONTROVERSIES
WHERE WE NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE ACTION OVER THE SO‐CALLED
VACCINE PASSPORTS THAT THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION AND PRIVATE
INDUSTRY ARE WORKING ON. SO THAT WE HAVE A WAY TO PROVE
YOU GOT YOUR SHOTS FOR PURPOSES OF TRAVEL OR GOING TO CONCERTS
AND SPORTING EVENTS, WHATEVER. IF YOU HAVE A VACCINE PASSPORT,
YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO THAT STUFF. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, MANY
REPUBLICANS ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH THAT.
INCLUDING RON DeSANTIS, THE TERRIBLE GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA.
>> YOU WANT TO GO TO MOVIE THEATER?
SHOULD YOU HAVE TO SHOW THAT? NO. YOU WANT TO GO TO A GAME? NO.
WANT TO GO TO A THEME PARK? NO. WE'RE NOT SUPPORTIVE OF THAT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. WHICH IS VERY RICH COMING FROM
THE PARTY THAT WANTS NINE FORMS OF IDENTIFICATION BEFORE YOU CAN
VOTE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
DeSANTIS ISN'T THE ONLY DUMMY WHO OPPOSES THE PASSPORT.
NONE OTHER THAN KLAN MOM HERSELF, MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE,
BELIEVES THERE ARE BIBLICAL IMPLICATIONS.
>> THEY WANT YOU TO BE REQUIRED TO HAVE SOMETHING CALLED A COVID
PASSPORT. AND THIS WOULD MANDATE YOUR
ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO TRAVEL, YOUR ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO GO TO
EVENTS, YOUR ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO BUY AND SELL.
AND I ASK THE QUESTION EARLIER, IS THIS SOMETHING LIKE BIDEN'S
MARK OF THE BEAST? BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY
DISTURBING AND NOT GOOD.
>> Jimmy: OH, BUT A REAL GOOD QUESTION. POOR JOE BIDEN.
HOW DO YOU REACH ACROSS THE AISLE WHEN THE OTHER SIDE THINKS
YOU HAVE HOOVES?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT A DUMB PERSON. THE MARK OF THE BEAST.
EVERYONE KNOWS, THE MARK OF THE BEAST IS ZUCKERBERG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO. THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN THE MARK OF THE BEAST, IS THE
MARKY MARK OF THE BEAST. BUT GO ON.
>> LET'S ANALYZE THAT. YOU SEE, IT'S STILL THE SAME
THING. IT'S STILL FASCISM. OR COMMUNISM, WHATEVER YOU WANT
TO WELL IT.
>> Jimmy: WELL. FASCISM AND COMMUNISM ARE
LITERALLY OPPOSITE THINGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S WHY GERMANY AND THE SOVIET UNION FOUGHT IN WORLD WAR II.
BUT THEY BOTH HAVE "ISM" IN 'EM, SO YOU KNOW THEY'RE BAD.
IT'S FASCISM OR COMMUNISM, OR, I DON'T KNOW, ASTIGMATISM ‐‐ ALL
VERY BAD THINGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE SHOULD BE A TEST TO GET INTO CONGRESS.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE A TEST TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE. CONGRESS?
THEY JUST WAVE YOU RIGHT THROUGH. OVER THE PAST YEAR, SEEMS LIKE
EVERY COMPANY MADE A COMMERCIAL TO REMIND US HOW MUCH THEY CARE
ABOUT US, TO HEAR US DURING TROUBLED TIMES.
AS BUSINESSES ARE OPENING BACK UP, THEY'RE CHANGE THEIR TONE A
LITTLE BIT.
>> IN THESE UNCERTAIN TIMES, AS LIFE GETS BACK TO NORMAL, MENNEN
WANTS YOU TO KNOW WE DON'T THINK OF YOU AS FAMILY ANYMORE.
WE HAVE OUR OWN FAMILIES. SO SUCK IT UP.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN FROM NOW ON. SPEED STICK.
THE HONEYMOON'S OVER. GO [ BLEEP ] YOURSELF.
♪ BY MENNEN
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I GUESS IT'S BACK TO SECRET FOR ME.
SPEAKING OF SECRETS, DONALD TRUMP YESTERDAY ‐‐
REMEMBER HIM? DONALD TRUMP UNVEILED HIS NEW
OFFICIAL WEBSITE. WHICH IS CALLED 45OFFICE.COM.
THEY HAD TO PAY GODADDY FIVE DOLLARS TO GET THE RIGHTS TO IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OF ALL THE POSSIBLE URLs ‐‐ 45 OFFICE?
IS HE LAUNCHING A WEBSITE OR A NEW VERSION OF MICROSOFT WORD?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS WEBSITE IS, AS YOU MIGHT GUESS, SOMETHING ELSE.
I SPENT SOME TIME COMBING THROUGH IT THIS AFTERNOON.
HE BASICALLY SET UP A FAN PAGE TO HIMSELF.
THERE ARE PHOTOS OF DON PALLING AROUND WITH DICTATORS, KISSING
BABIES ‐‐ SPREADING COVID. AND THERE ARE A NUMBER OF
SPECIAL OFFERS. YOU CAN REQUEST A VIDEO FROM
DONALD OR MELANIA. "THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN
RECEIVING A GREETING FROM DONALD J. TRUMP AND
MELANIA TRUMP FOR YOUR SPECIAL OCCASION.
PLEASE ALLOW UP TO 6 WEEKS FOR PROCESSING OF YOUR REQUEST."
TEN IF YOUR NAME IS ERIC OR DON JR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"DUE TO THE VOLUME OF REQUESTS PRESIDENT AND MRS. TRUMP
RECEIVE, WE WILL NOT PROVIDE STATUS UPDATES."
AND THEN YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN FOR A LIST OF OCCASIONS.
BIRTHDAYS, MILITARY RETIREMENT, WEDDING, CONDOLENCE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHO'S ORDERING A CONDOLENCE VIDEO FROM DONALD TRUMP?
"YOUR MOTHER DIED? THAT'S TOO BAD.
SHE WAS A TOTAL DISASTER."
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE BASICALLY JUST LAUNCHED HIS OWN VERSION OF CAMEO.
YOU CAN EVEN BOOK THE FORMER PRESIDENT FOR PARTIES AND EVENTS.
LOOK AT THIS. "THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN
INVITING DONALD J. TRUMP TO PARTICIPATE IN YOUR EVENT."
THEN YOU HAVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS LIKE, AUDIENCE AND
NOTABLE INVITEES, INCLUDING ESTIMATED NUMBER OF ATTENDEES.
HE WANTS TO KNOW HOW BIG THE CROWD IS AND IF TV'S HERCULES,
KEVIN SORBO, WILL BE THERE, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN LESS THAN THREE MONTHS, TRUMP HAS GONE FROM PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES TO A BOOKABLE BIRTHDAY CLOWN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
MEANWHILE, AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THERE WAS ANOTHER BITING
INCIDENT YESTERDAY, YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?
THE PRESIDENT'S GERMAN SHEPHERD, MAJOR, IS SAID TO HAVE NIPPED A
NATIONAL PARK SERVICE EMPLOYEE ON THE SOUTH LAWN OF THE WHITE
HOUSE. THIS IS THE SECOND PERSON MAJOR
BIT THIS MONTH. THE LAST TIME THEY SENT HIM HOME
TO DELAWARE. I GUESS HE DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING.
BIDEN HIMSELF HAS SAID MAJOR IS A SWEET DOG AND 85% OF THE
PEOPLE AT THE WHITE HOUSE LOVE HIM.
BECAUSE THE OTHER 15% HAD THEIR NUTS IN HIS TEETH, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WONDER HOW THEY'RE GONNA HANDLE THIS?
YOU CAN'T HAVE A DOG GOING AROUND BITING PEOPLE.
SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT DONALD TRUMP, MIKE PENCE NEVER BIT
ANYBODY.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
HERE IN L. A., MOVIE THEATERS ARE GOING TO OPEN UP SOON.
THEY WILL OPEN THEM TO HALF CAPACITY.
BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T EVEN GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE, BECAUSE SOME
PEOPLE SPENT THEIR LOCKDOWN DOING THIS.
>> DURING QUARANTINE, MY HUSBAND BUILT A VIDEO RENTAL STORE IN
OUR BASEMENT. HE DECIDED HE NEEDED A PROJECT
AT THE HOUSE TO KEEP HIMSELF BUSY. INSTEAD OF REFINISHING OUR
KITCHEN CABINETS, HE DECIDED TO BUILD A VIDEO RENTAL STORE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND INSTEAD OF GETTING
DIVORCED, THAT MAN, BRIAN HOGAN AND HIS WIFE ERIN, ARE JOINING
US HERE TONIGHT. FROM THEIR VIDEO STORE IN THE
BASEMENT OF THEIR HOME IN DES MOINES, IOWA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, BRIAN. HI, ERIN.
>> HELLO, SIR.
>> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING WITH US. I GUESS MY FIRST QUESTION IS,
WHY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, MAINLY BECAUSE ALL THE STORES WERE CLOSING, I WASN'T
GOING TO BE ABLE TO VISIT THEM ANYMORE.
AND MY DAUGHTER MOVED AWAY FROM COLLEGE.
AND I'M ALSO AN INSANE PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. YOU HAVE WI‐FI, AND YOU KNOW
ABOUT NETFLIX AND THAT SORT OF THING, RIGHT?
>> ABSOLUTELY. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME.
>> Jimmy: IT'S NOT THE SAME. YOU LOVE THIS STUFF, YOU LOVE
VHS TAPES? WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE, BLU‐RAYS,
DVDs THAT SORT OF THING?
>> YEAH, LASER DISKS, ALL OF IT.
>> WHAT IS IT ABOUT THEM THAT IS SO APPEALING?
IS IT THE FACT THAT YOU CAN HOLD THEM AND TOUCH THEM AND SEE THEM
OR WHAT?
>> YEAH, I THINK IT'S TANGIBLE. I DON'T THINK FLIPPING THROUGH
THUMBNAILS ON STREAMING SERVICES HAS THE EXACT APPEAL.
DOESN'T TO ME, ANYWAY.
>> Jimmy: ERIN, YOU ARE A VERY TOLERANT PERSON, AREN'T YOU?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MY KITCHEN CABINETS STILL AREN'T REFINISHED, JIMMY.
SO, YOU KNOW. MAYBE SOMEDAY HE'LL GET TO THAT
PROJECT TOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THE BASEMENT BEFORE? WAS IT EMPTY?
>> UM ‐‐ NO, IT WAS FULL OF MOVIES, JUST VERY, YOU KNOW,
UNORGANIZED.
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
>> IT WAS OUR STEPDAUGHTER'S BEDROOM, AND HE CONVERTED IT.
>> Jimmy: OH. DOES SHE KNOW ‐‐ I'M SURE SHE
KNOWS, YEAH. SHE'S GOING TO BE ‐‐ HER NEW
ROOM IS FILLED WITH "TROOP BEVERLY HILLS" OR SOMETHING LIKE
THAT.
>> YEAH, SHE SLEEPS IN THE "ACTION" SECTION.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU DO HAVE ‐‐ I WATCHED THE VIDEO.
WILL YOU SHOW US AROUND THE PLACE?
>> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. THERE'S AN ACTION SECTION.
WE DIDN'T HAVE AN ACTION SECTION IN OUR BASEMENT, BUT HERE YOU
GO.
>> WE'RE ENTERING "COMEDY."
YEAH, SO ALL OF THIS RIGHT HERE?
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH?
>> WOULD BE OUR "COMEDY" SECTION.
YOU GET FANTASTIC THINGS LIKE "HOWARD THE DUCK."
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. THAT'S A HARD ONE.
WHERE DO YOU PUT THAT ONE? THAT COULD ALSO GO IN THE
SUPERHERO SECTION, RIGHT?
>> IT COULD, IT COULD. IT'S TECHNICALLY A MARVEL FILM.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THIS ‐‐ THIS STUFF, THIS VIDEO STORE
STUFF?
>> I'VE BEEN COLLECTING MOVIES FOR 20 YEARS OR SO.
THRIFT STORES AND ALL THAT. BUT THE SHELVING I GOT BECAUSE
OUR LOCAL VIDEO STORES ARE CLOSING.
>> Jimmy: I SEE. DO YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS?
AT YOUR VIDEO STORE?
>> NOT YET. WE'RE STILL, YOU KNOW.
WE'RE STILL KEEPING IT CLOSED.
>> Jimmy: OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
>> HERE'S A DRAMA.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
>> MICHAEL DOUGLAS, "BEHIND THE CANDELABRA."
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YEAH. HE WAS GOOD IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SEE YOU GOT "ALMOST FAMOUS" ON THE WALL THERE, ALL SORTS OF
LITTLE ITEMS. WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FOUND A
WIFE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M REALLY SURPRISED. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST FUN
MENTAL BREAKDOWNS I'VE EVER SEEN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT'S YOUR POLICY ON REWINDING THERE?
>> I MEAN, I DEFINITELY ‐‐ THE KIDS ARE DEFINITELY DOING CHORES
IF THEY DON'T REWIND THE TAPES.
>> Jimmy: ARE THERE MOVIES YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF COPIES OF, LIKE
YOU HAD AT BLOCK BUST WHERE THERE'S SOMETHING POPULAR?
>> I'VE CORNERED THE MARKET ON "FORREST GUMP," I HAVE AT LEAST
300 COPIES OF IT.
>> Jimmy: OH, 300.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU SOUND LIKE YOU NEED TO BUY ANOTHER HOUSE.
WHY DO YOU HAVE 300 COPIES OF "FORREST GUMP"?
>> SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SEE. I SEE. DO YOU HAVE THE 1987 SYLVESTER
STALLONE ARM WRESTLING DRAMA "OVER THE TOP"?
>> I DO HAVE "OVER THE TOP."
>> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW EVERY ONE YOU HAVE?
>> I HAVE IT PRETTY WELL CATA CATALOGED IN MY HEAD.
IN CASE I DON'T, I HAVE IT IN A SPREADSHEET.
>> Jimmy: ERIN, DO YOU AND BRIAN EVER STAND IN THE STORE FOR 45
MINUTES ARGUING OVER WHAT YOU SHOULD WATCH?
[ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE WE USED TO IN THE OLD DAYS?
>> ABSOLUTELY. WE HAVE VERY DIFFERENT TASTES IN
MOVIES.
>> Jimmy: I SEE, OKAY. IS THERE AN "ADULT" SECTION?
>> YEAH, THE ADULT SECTION IS ACTUALLY RIGHT HERE.
>> Jimmy: OH, BEHIND ‐‐
>> BEHIND THE COUNTER. YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I SEE.
>> I'LL SLIP IT ACROSS THE TABLE IN A BROWN PAPER SACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND HOW STRICT ARE YOU WHEN IT COMES TO LATE FEES?
IS THAT A THING THERE?
>> LATE FEES ARE INCREDIBLY HIGH.
THAT MIGHT BE WHY WE DON'T HAVE ANY CUSTOMERS YET.
>> Jimmy: I SEE. YOU HAVE ALL THE SETUP, YOU'VE
GOT EVERYTHING. BOY, THAT IS SOMETHING ELSE.
DO PEOPLE GO NUTS WHEN THEY COME DOWN AND YOU SEW THEM AROUND?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE THAT I
THOUGH ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M CRAZY.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
>> I GOT SOME ‐‐ I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS TOO.
WE JUST ADDED THIS JUST FOR YOU RECENTLY.
>> Jimmy: OH, THERE'S ME.
>> UH‐HUH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, I SEE. YOU'VE GOT MY FILM LIBRARY THERE.
OH, I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU, BRIAN.
THAT MOVIE "LIKE MIKE" YOU JUST PASSED BY? I GOT CUT OUT OF THAT.
I WAS NOT IN IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THEY TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO BE IN IT, THEN I SHOT IT,
THEN I TOOK MY KIDS TO SEE IT AND THEY'RE LIKE, WHERE WERE
YOU, DAD?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU NEED TO EDIT THAT IMDB. BUT I WILL TELL YOU YOU'RE MY
FAVORITE BATMAN.
>> Jimmy: OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN BEING BATMAN. ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MISSING ONE THING DOWN THERE.
WE HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT FOR YOU. GUILLERMO'S GOING TO BRING IT IN
NOW. WE'RE GOING TO SEND THIS TO YOU
IN THE VIDEO BUNKER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS IS A POPCORN MACHINE. AND YOU CAN USE IT TO MAKE
POPCORN. AND HOPEFULLY IT WILL MAKE IT
SMELL LESS LIKE A BASEMENT DOWN THERE.
>> ABSOLUTELY. THANKS.
>> Jimmy: WELL, THANKS BRIAN AND ERIN, I APPRECIATE YOU SHOWING
US AROUND YOUR BASEMENT. AND THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.
GUILLERMO, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEIR POPCORN, THAT'S
THEIRS.
>> Guillermo: SORRY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S BRIAN AND ERIN.
[ APPLAUSE ]
WE HAVE A GOO SHOW. NICOLE BYER IS HERE.
WE HAVE MUSIC FROM TATE McRAE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BOB
ODENKIRK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELL, HELLO, THERE. TONIGHT, SHE IS THE HOST OF THE
SHOW "NAILED IT" ON NETFLIX AND COHOST OF "WIPEOUT" ON TBS.
NICOLE BYER IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THEN LATER, APPLE MUSIC'S UP NEXT ARTIST, THIS IS HER EP,
CALLED, "TOO YOUNG TO BE SAD." MUSIC FROM TATE McRAE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT, JAMIE FOXX AND LAUREN GRAHAM WILL JOIN US, WITH
MUSIC FROM AJR. AND ON THURSDAY, MELISSA McCARTHY,
OCTAVIA SPENCER, NASIM PEDRAHD WILL BE WITH US.
WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM FITZ FEATURING BRYCE VINE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU KNOW OUR FIRST GUEST FROM HIS NINE‐TIME EMMY‐NOMINATED
WORK ON "BETTER CALL SAUL," NOW HE MAKES AN UNEXPECTED LEAP TO
ACTION MOVIE STAR IN THE NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN THE COUNTRY
"NOBODY."
>> WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, OLD MAN?
>> I'M GOING TO [ BLEEP ] YOU UP.
>> HA HA!
>> I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
>> COME ON!
>> AHH!
>> COME ON!
>> GAH!
>> ARGHH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: NOBODY" IS IN THEATERS NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME BOB ODENKIRK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> I'M ALIVE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HEY, BOB. WHOA.
>> I'M ALIVE AND HAPPY!
>> Jimmy: WOW. WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
>> NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN THE COUNTRY, EVERYONE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> WE'LL GET TO THAT. 81% ON THE ROTTEN TOMATOES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: SEEMS LIKE ‐‐ IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT.
>> YEAH, BUT JIMMY, IT'S NUMBER ONE! OW!
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YOU SAID THAT ‐‐
>> LET ME JUST PUT THAT BACK IN THE SOCKET.
>> Jimmy: YOU MENTIONED NUMBER ONE A FEW TIMES.
BUT WHY ARE YOU ALL BANGED UP? YOU'RE ACTUALLY BLEEDING RIGHT
NOW.
>> DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I SAW THE MOVIE.
>> WELL. I GOT KNOCKED AROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IN THE MOVIE. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM
AND YOUR FACE?
>> WELL, I BROKE A BONE. AND I GOT CONCUSSION IN THE
FRONT OF MY HEAD AND I GOT TWO IN THE BACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: FROM THE MOVIE?
>> I GOT A KIDNEY OUT. AND I LOST MY PELVIS.
I WASN'T USING IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND A COUPLE OF TEETH.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS DURING THE SHOOTING OF THE FILM?
>> YEAH, JIMMY, IT WAS REAL HARD.
>> Jimmy: IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS HARD. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ‐‐
>> I DID ALL MY OWN FIGHTING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I ‐‐
>> THAT'S THE WAY, RIGHT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT IS THE WAY. A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A
STUNTMAN DO THE FIGHTING.
>> WHAT?
>> Jimmy: A STUNTMAN. A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A
STUNT GUY.
>> A STUNT WHO?
>> Jimmy: A PROFESSIONAL STUNTMAN WOULD COME IN AND DO
THE FIGHTING PART, EVEN ON THE OTHER END WITH THE GUYS, YOU
KNOW, THEY WOULD BE STUNTMEN AS WELL.
>> WHAT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH STUNTMEN?
>> I FORGOT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: ABOUT $YOU EVER SEE THE SHOW "THE FALL GUY" STARRING
LEE MAJORS?
>> I LOVED IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT HIS JOB WAS, HE WAS A STUNTMAN BACK
THEN, YEAH.
>> OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU COULD HAVE HAD ONE OF HIM. INSTEAD, YOU'VE SUFFERED
CONSEQUENCES, IT LOOKS LIKE. ON SCREEN IT LOOKED REALLY
GREAT ‐‐
>> I GOT MY ASS KICKED, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DID.
>> I'LL NEVER WALK THE SAME AGAIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU ARE REALLY A MESS. YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MESS.
IT'S ACTUALLY DISTURBING. I'M SORRY TO LAUGH.
WHILE YOU'RE PRETEND CRYING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT YEAH, IT'S ‐‐ ARE YOU OKAY?
>> I GOT BEAT UP SO BAD.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. IT WAS REAL FIGHTING.
THEY TOLD ME I HAD TO DO IT. THEY TOLD ME I HAD TO DO IT.
>> Jimmy: THOSE GUYS IN THE BUS WERE JUST GUYS ‐‐
>> THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. WELL.
>> BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT CGI CRAP!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> NOBODY, NOBODY LIKES CGI. SAY IT WITH ME. NOBODY LIKES CGI!
>> Jimmy: YEAH. LOOKS LIKE YOUR CGI IS BLACK IS
WHAT IT IS, YEAH.
>> WILL YOU BE MY AGENT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YES, I WOULD. I WOULD BE HONORED TO BE YOUR
AGENT. IF WE CAN DROP THIS BIT.
>> WE CAN DROP THE BIT.
>> Jimmy: YES. BEAUTIFULLY DONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I SEE ANOTHER EMMY NOMINATION.
YOU STILL ‐‐ YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S ALL FUNNY, BUT WHEN WE GO TO A COMMERCIAL AND COME BACK
AND MAKE NO MENTION OF THE FACT THAT YOUR FACE IS BEATEN?
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE DISTURBED.
>> I WANT TO GET THIS MAKEUP EVERY TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT.
>> Jimmy: IT WOULD BE A GREAT RUNNING GAG, YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE FANTASTIC IN THIS MOVIE.
>> THANK YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I WAS WONDERING, I WAS WONDERING HOW THIS HAPPENED.
BECAUSE IT IS A REALLY GOOD ACTION MOVIE.
>> OH, GOOD.
>> Jimmy: AND OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE, YOU KNOW ‐‐ THIS IS SURPRISING
TO SEE YOU IN THIS PARTICULAR ROLE.
AND I WAS THINKING LIKE, MAYBE THEY WENT TO LIKE SOME OF THESE
ACTION GUYS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE THEY WENT TO TOM CRUISE AND HE'S LIKE, NO, I'M
NOT GOING TO DO THIS. YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
>> IT JUST GOT HANDED DOWN?
>> Jimmy: SOMEBODY THOUGHT, IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF BOB ODENKIRK
PLAYED THIS ROLE. THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENED AT
ALL.
>> NO. I PLAY JIMMY McGILL ON "BETTER
CALL SAUL."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AFTER THE SECOND SEASON, YOU KNOW, IT PLAYS IN EUROPE, PLAYS
AROUND THE WORLD. THEN MY BROTHER‐IN‐LAW, LUKE,
SENT ME A SCREEN GRAB OF AN AD FOR IT IN CHINA.
AND I THOUGHT, WOW, THEY'RE WATCHING ME PLAY THIS CHARACTER
IN CHINA. I WONDER WHAT I COULD DO IN
FEATURES THAT COULD PLAY AROUND THE WORLD?
ACTION PLAYS AROUND THE WORLD. AND I THOUGHT, I'M IN OKAY SHAPE.
DESPITE HOW I LOOK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I CAN HOLD THE MAKEUP, STAYS ON MY FACE.
AND I COULD ‐‐ IF I COULD TRAIN, I COULD PLAY THAT PART.
I THOUGHT I HAD IT IN ME. SO I PASSED THE IDEA AROUND.
AND DEREK COLSTEAD, WHO WROTE
"THE JOHN WICK" FILMS, LOVED THE NOTION OF ME BEING A REGULAR DAD
WHO GETS IN A CIRCUMSTANCE, EMBROILED THIS A BIG FIGHT
THAT'S A GREAT BIG CINEMATIC STORY OF ONE MAN AGAINST THE
RUSSIAN MOB. HE WROTE AND IT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ILYA NYSHILL DIRECTED A MOVIE CALLED "HARDCORE HENRY."
LOVED IT AND WANTED TO DIRECT IT. AND WE JUST HAD AN INCREDIBLE
TEAM. AND I TRAINED FOR 2 1/2 YEARS.
>> Jimmy: YOU TRAINED? DID YOU START TRAINING BEFORE
YOU ACTUALY SOLD THIS MOVIE?
>> LUCKILY IT TAKES SO LONG FOR A MOVIE TO GET MADE IN HOLLYWOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH?
>> YOU COULD BECOME ANYTHING BY THE TIME ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU WANT TO BE A TIGHTROPE WALKER OR ANYTHING, YOU KNOW,
VIOLINIST, YOU GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO LEARN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT WAS GREAT TO SEE YOU IN THIS MOVIE.
IT WAS GREAT TO SEE CHRISTOPHER LLOYD, WHO PLAYS YOUR DAD, IN
THE MOVIE.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HAVING THE BEST TIME EVER.
>> HE WAS GIDDY.
>> Jimmy: DOC BROWN FROM "BACK TO THE FUTURE." JIM FROM "TAXI."
>> CHRISTOPHER LLOYD, RIZZA, CONNIE NIELSEN.
CHRIS LLOYD HAS NEVER BEEN IN AN ACTION MOVIE.
HE'S SUFFSUCH A SWEET GUY. I WASN'T SURE HOW HE'D FEEL.
HE WAS ABSOLUTELY GIDDY ABOUT PRETENDING TO SHOOT OFF SHOTGUNS.
THEY TOLD HIM ‐‐ AT ONE POINT HIS CHARACTER HAS LIKE SIX
SHOTGUNS AROUND HIS NECK, DANGLING.
THEY SAID, HEY, MAN, WE'LL BUILD REALLY LIGHT SHOTGUNS.
SHOTGUNS ARE KIND OF HEAVY, SIX OF THEM AROUND YOUR NECK.
HE SAYS, NO, NO, NO, I NEED REAL SHOTGUNS. THEY'LL LOOK FAKE!
SO HE'S WEARING REAL SHOTGUNS.
[ APPLAUSE ]
RIZZA IS AN AMAZING GUY WHO'S DONE THIS AND KNOWS THESE MOVIES
AND BROUGHT THE BEST SPIRIT TO THE FILM.
IT WAS AN AMAZINGLY ‐‐ IT WAS THE BLOODIEST, MOST VIOLENT FILM
MADE WITH THE MOST LOVE EVER.
>> Jimmy: LIKE A SURGERY OR SOMETHING.
IT REALLY CAME OUT GREAT. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT
MORE WITH BOB ODENKIRK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HIS MOVIE IS CALLED "NOBODY."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE ARE BACK WITH BOB ODENKIRK.
HIS MOVIE IS CALLED "NOBODY." WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT IT,
HOW MUCH FUN IT IS. HOW HAS YOUR YEAR BEEN OVERALL?
I KNOW YOU DID THE TRAINING FOR THIS FILM.
BUT THEN YOU GOT STUCK IN THE HOUSE, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, WE FINISHED RIGHT BEFORE THE PANDEMIC HIT.
AND STUCK IN THE HOUSE. BUT MY SON, NATHAN, WHO WORKED
ON YOUR SHOW ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THANK YOU FOR THAT, HE LOVED WORKING HERE.
>> Jimmy: GREAT KID. VERY SMART KID.
>> YEAH, AND HE WAS HOME. AND MY DAUGHTER ERIN WAS HOME
FROM HER COLLEGE. THEY WERE ALL ONLINE.
WE DID PROJECTS TOGETHER, IT WAS GREAT.
>> Jimmy: TELL ME ABOUT THIS BOOK.
>> I WROTE A BOOK WITH MY KIDS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE, LITTLE
RHYMES, SUPER SILLY. I THOUGHT ONE DAY I MIGHT
REWRITE THEM AND MAKE THEM GOOD IF I COULD.
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD WERE THEY?
>> 2, 3. AND THEY WOULD WRITE SOME, SILLY
RHYMES. I KEPT IT AND I THOUGHT, THIS IS
OUR CHANCE. SO I MADE THEM COME OUT OF THEIR
ROOMS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I SAID, WE'RE GOING TO REWRITE THESE POEMS.
AND I WROTE A BUNCH. ERIN DID THE ILLUSTRATIONS.
CAN I SHARE ONE?
>> Jimmy: YOUR DAUGHTER DID ‐‐ THESE ILLUSTRATIONS ARE TERRIFIC.
>> LET ME ASSURE THIS WITH YOU. THIS IS "A CAT NAMED LARRY."
A CAT NAMED LARRY HAD A MOUSE HE CARRIED AROUND WITH HIM AS A
PET. HIS DAD SAID, CHASE IT, DON'T
JUST CARRY IT, YOU'LL WASTE IT, BUT HE LOVED THAT MOUSE SO VERY,
VERY MUCH. CATS LIVE LONGER THAN MICE DO,
IT SEEMS. NOW LARRY ONLY SEES HIS TREND IN
HIS KITTY CAT DREAMS WHERE THEY CHASE EACH OTHER ROUND, NEVER
CATCHING, THAT'S OKAY. IT'S THE GOOD FEELINGS THAT
REMAIN AT THE END OF THE DAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WOW. PROJECT. REAL ODENKIRK FAMILY
>> IT WAS AN ODENKIRK FAMILY PROJECT.
AND WE'VE MADE GOOD USE OF OUR PANDEMIC TIME.
IT GOT A LITTLE LONG AT THE END.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY. YOU POSTED A PICTURE GETTING A
VACCINATION WITH SOME OF YOUR CASTMATES.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ON "BETTER CALL SAUL." WHY DID YOU GET IT ALL TOGETHER?
>> WELL, STEVEN MICHAEL KESODA, WHO'S ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE
FRAME, WHO PLAYS GOMIE IN "BREAKING BAD" AND "BAERT CALL
SAUL" IS KIND OF A COMMUNITY LEADER IN NEW MEXICO AND
ALBUQUERQUE. HE HAS PASSED ON THE VACCINE
THREE TIMES SO THAT FRONTLINE WORKERS CAN GET IT, EVEN THOUGH
HIS NUMBER CAME UP. RAY AND I HAVE BEEN SIGNED UP
ABOUT 2 1/2 MONTHS NOW. SO OUR NUMBERS CAME UP AND WE
WERE TALKING TO STEVEN. WE SAID, LET'S GET IT TOGETHER.
STEVEN ARRANGED FOR US TO GET IT SO STEVEN MICHAEL KESODA IS THE
LEADER OF THIS GROUP. WE ALL GOT THE VACCINE AND FEEL
GREAT, AND WE HOPE EVERYONE IN NEW MEXICO AND ALBUQUERQUE WILL
ALSO JOIN US. IT'S A GREAT SYSTEM DOWN THERE.
JUST SIGN UP AND GET THE VACCINE AND LET'S PROTECT EACH OTHER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE SHOOTING THE SHOW, OBVIOUSLY.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I'M SURE YOU'RE TAKING ALL THESE SAFETY PRECAUTIONS.
>> SURE.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY EPISODES IN ARE YOU SO FAR?
>> ONE.
>> Jimmy: ONE EPISODE IN. DO YOU KNOW, WHO IS VINCE
GILLIGAN, CREATOR OF THE SHOW, INFORMED YOU OF WHAT SAUL'S FATE
WILL BE, OF WHAT JIMMY'S FATE WILL BE?
>> HE HAS NOT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN. I LIKE BEING SURPRISED. I KIND OF ENJOY IT, JUST LIKE AN
AUDIENCE MEMBER, WHERE THIS STORY GOES.
IT'S ALWAYS SURPRISING.
>> Jimmy: YOU SAY YOU LIKE BEING SURPRISED.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU ASKED HIM TO TELL YOU ‐‐
>> HE WOULD.
>> Jimmy: HE WILL TELL YOU.
>> THEY TRY TO TELL ME AND I GO, SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
I'M A PRODUCER ON THE SHOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. I PREFER TO FIND OUT AND BE
SURPRISED.
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, WHEN DOES THE BOOK COME OUT AND WHAT IS IT
CALLED?
>> WHAT, THIS BOOK IS CALLED "ZILLIT" AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN
IT COMES OUT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A HECK OF A PLUG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WELL, NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, I HOPE YOU WON'T BE
BLEEDING. BOB ODENKIRK. "NOBODY" IS HIS MOVIE, IT'S THE
NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN THE COUNTRY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NICOLE BYER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: TATE McRAE IS ON THE WAY.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY AND BUSY PERSON.
SHE HOSTS FOUR POD CASTS, NOW TWO TV SHOWS.
STARTING THURSDAY SHE JOINS JOHN CENA HOSTING "WIPEOUT" ON TBS.
PLEASE WELCOME NICOLE BYER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING?
>> PRETTY GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M DOING WELL. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
>> I KNOW, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: EVERYTHING BEEN OKAY AS FAR AS COVID AND STAYING
INDOORS AND ALL THAT STUFF GOES?
>> IT'S BEEN OKAY. I DISLOCATED MY ANKLE IN
NOVEMBER.
>> Jimmy: OH, GREAT.
>> THAT WAS TOUGH.
>> Jimmy: EVERYONE IS INJURED ON THIS SHOW TONIGHT.
BUT YOU ‐‐ IS IT OKAY NOW? THE ANKLE'S ALL RIGHT?
>> IT'S DONE BETTER THAN BOB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M DOING OKAY.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BEEN VACCINATED?
>> I GOT MY FIRST SHOT BECAUSE SHE FAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
>> I'M A FAT LADY SO I GOT TO GO TO THE HEAD OF THE LINE.
>> Jimmy: OH, RIGHT, IT WAS ‐‐
>> THEY SAID, WHAT'S YOUR BMI? I SAID, OH, FINALLY, OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOUR FRIENDS JEALOUS?
>> SO JEALOUS. I WAS LIKE, YOU SHOULD HAVE EAT
SOMEONE CHEESEBURGERS, OKAY?
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, PEOPLE AREN'T THINKING AHEAD.
>> NO, I'M ALWAYS THINKING AHEAD.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU FEEL FREE NOW? DO YOU FEEL LIKE ‐‐ YEAH, I CAN
IMAGINE THAT ‐‐
>> I FEEL PRETTY GOOD. I'VE GOT TO GET MY SECOND SHOT,
BUT SO FAR, SO GOOD.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'D YOU GET, PFIZER, MODERNA?
>> SHE A PFIZER DIVA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: PFIZER, YEAH. DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY WHO IS
RELUCTANT TO GET THE VACCINE?
>> OH, SO MANY PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO?
>> YEAH, THEY'RE JUST LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, I'M GOING TO WAIT,
SEE HOW PEOPLE REACT. I'M LIKE, WHITE PEOPLE ARE
DRIVING TO COMPTON. RICH, WHITE PEOPLE.
GO GET YOU THE VACCINE!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
GO GET IT, IT'S GOOD. THEY WANT IT, YOU GET IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE SAYING, IF WHITE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THAT
LENGTH ‐‐
>> YES. RICH WHITE PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO
GET IN THEIR AUDIS AND DRIVE TO COMPTON.
GET TO THE SPACE TO GO GET IT. GET IT.
>> THAT'S AN EXCELLENT POINT. THAT WOULD MAKE A HECK OF A PSA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, IF THE RICH WHITES, ARE DOING IT, YOU SHOULD TOO!
>> Jimmy: I MENTIONED YOU'VE GOT TWO TV SHOWS AND FOUR PODCASTS.
WHY NOT JUST TAKE ON TEN IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO FOR FOUR?
>> YOU GOING TO PAY ME?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: FOUR IS A LOT OF TALKING TO DO, ISN'T IT?
>> IT IS BUT I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE SHOWS IS ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL DATING LIFE.
>> WHYYEAH, "WHY WON'T YOU DATE
ME?" DURING THIS PANDEMIC IT'S BEEN
HARD. I HAVE THIS FACEBOOK DATE AND HE
ONLY ALLOTTED 15 MINUTE ARE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT? WAIT A MINUTE.
>> IT'S VERY RUDE.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU GET A FACETIME DATE TO START?
>> YOU'RE MARRIED, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY OF THIS, GOD
BLESS.
>> Jimmy: ON AN APP?
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: I SEE. NO, BUT MY WIFE DOES IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SHE DOES? I SEE.
>> Jimmy: I'M CURIOUS.
>> WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP, SHE'S SWIPING AT NIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING.
>> THEN YOU TALK AND HE'S LIKE, LET'S FACETIME ON FRIDAY.
I WAS LIKE, OKAY. I WAS RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.
HE'S LIKE, I HAVE FRIENDS COMING OVER, MAYBE WE DO THIS ANOTHER
TIME? THIS IS IN MAY. I'M LIKE, THE PANDEMIC JUST
STARTED. YOU HAVE FRIENDS COMING OVER?
>> Jimmy: BAD SIGN.
>> NOT FOR ME.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, NO.
>> THEN I WENT ON ANOTHER DATE, IN PERSON, STILL WEARING MY
MEDICAL BOOT, IN A PARK. HE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS
TRAUMA. WHICH IS LIKE, FOR 2:00 P. M. ON
A [ BLEEP ] TUESDAY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S TOO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. BUT AS HE WAS ‐‐ AS HE WAS
TELLING ME THE MOST TRAUMATIC THING I FELT MY WIG SLIDE BACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND JUST ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
>> AIR CRUISING ON MY HEAD. OH MY GOD, HE'S GOING TO THINK
I'M DOING A BIT. THEN FINALLY I WAS, MY WIG!
I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR DEAD FAMILY, MY WIG!
WE'RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE.
BY THE WAY, WHAT IS THE PROTOCOL SHOULD YOU BE ON A DATE WITH
SOMEONE AND THEIR WIG STARTS TO COME OFF?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> HE COULD HAVE JUST BEEN LIKE, IS YOUR HAIR ‐‐ ARE YOU RECEDING
IN REALTIME?
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW. I TRULY DON'T KNOW.
I'D PROBABLY BE LIKE, MY FRIEND, YOUR HEAD, FIX IT. I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: WAS IT HIS IDEA TO MEET YOU AT THE PARK?
>> IT WAS HIS IDEA. HE ALSO BROUGHT TRISCUITS, WHICH
ARE LIKE BASKET CRACKERS. THEY'RE SO TOUGH TO EAT.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH. AND I WAS LIKE, IS THIS A PLOY
TO GET ME TO NOT TALK? WHAT IS THIS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEN HE BROUGHT FOUR BOTTLES OF WATER ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU NEED A WICKER CHAIR.
>> THAT'S TRUE. HE BROUGHT FOUR BOTTLES OF WATER.
ARE YOU STEALING ME? WHY FOUR BOTTLES?
THAT'S A LOT OF WATER FOR ONE PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE ALSO BROUGHT AMERICAN CHEESE. WHICH IS THE WORST CHEESE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S LIKE, WHAT? TRISCUITS AND AMERICAN?
MY FRIENDS.
>> Jimmy: WATER TRISCUITS AND AMERICAN TREES.
>> AND MY WIG WAS TRULY BLOWN BACK. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WOW. DID THESE GUYS THAT YOU GO ON
DATES WITH, DO THEY EVER HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT THEM ON THE
PODCAST?
>> SOMETIMES. BUT MY DEMOGRAPHIC ISN'T
STRAIGHT DUDES. IT'S A LOT OF GAY MEN.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S CONVENIENT.
>> VERY CONVENIENT. BUT ONCE I GOT SOMEONE ASK, I
HAD TO BE LIKE, OH, NO, I'M SO SORRY, THAT WASN'T YOU AT ALL.
THEN ONCE I HAD TO BE LIKE, OH, YEAH, THAT WAS YOU.
YOU BEHAVED POORLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LIKE WHEN A GUY GOES ON A DATE WITH YOU, DOES HE KNOW
THAT THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE HE'S GOING TO BE A SUBJECT OF YOUR
COMEDY?
>> FOR THE MOST PART, NO. BUT I DID HAVE ONE GUY WHO WAS
LIKE, DON'T TALK ABOUT ME ON YOUR PODCAST!
AND I WAS LIKE, I WILL!
[ LAUGHTER ]
SORRY!
>> Jimmy: I THINK YOU MAY BE STIFLING YOURSELF.
>> OH, NO.
>> Jimmy: I DO THINK SO.
>> YOU THINK THAT'S WHY I'M SINGLE?
>> Jimmy: I THINK THAT'S PART OF IT, YEAH.
>> I'D RATHER PAY MY MORTGAGE THAN FIND LOVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU LIKE IN A POD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT DURING
LOCKDOWN?
>> YES, I HAVE A ROOMMATE AND THEN ANOTHER NICE MAN WHO LIVES
WITH ME.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> AND WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME. I LOVE HAVING A ROOMMATE.
>> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ROOMMATES WITH THIS PERSON?
>> LIKE SEVEN YEARS.
>> Jimmy: OH, THIS IS NOT A RECENT ‐‐
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WE NEED COMPANY DURING THIS TIME.
>> JAN MILLHEUSER, ALSO A COMEDIAN, VERY FUNNY, WHATEVER.
I LOVE HAVING HIM AROUND BECAUSE HE'S A GOOD AUDIENCE.
IF I WANT TO DRESS UP, PUT ON A SILLY WIG, HAVE A SONG AND DANCE?
HE'S LIKE, ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: GO AHEAD?
>> YOU CAN DO IT.
>> Jimmy: NOW YOU'RE DOING THIS ‐‐ DOING "WIPEOUT."
WITH JOHN CENA. WERE YOU FAMILIAR WITH JOHN'S
WRESTLING WORK BEFOREHAND?
>> I KNEW HE WAS A WRESTLER BUT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE
WERE SAYING THEY COULDN'T SEE HIM. I WAS LIKE, WHAT? HE'S HERE.
IT WAS VERY CONFUSING. IT WAS ONE OF HIS WRESTLING
MOVES AND HE NEEDED TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME.
I WAS LIKE, SORRY, I NEEDED TO DO MORE RESEARCH.
HE'S A FUNNY MAN.
>> Jimmy: AND IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO SEE PEOPLE HURTING THEMSELVES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT REALLY IS.
>> IT'S A REAL TREAT TO WATCH SOMEONE FULLY WIPE OUT.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE, OH, NO!
>> Jimmy: YOUR OTHER SHOW "NAILED IT" ON NETFLIX, PEOPLE
ARE FAILING A LOT ON THAT SHOW TOO.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY FAILURE.
>> YES, BUT I'M THRIVING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BETWEEN THE DATES AND THE TBS SHOW, THE WIPING OUT,
THE BAKING BADLY?
>> YEAH, I LOVE IT. I HOPE PEOPLE CONTINUE TO DO
POORLY IN LIFE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO THEN I CONTINUE TO HAVE JOBS.
>> Jimmy: THE ULTIMATE SCENARIO IS YOU GET ONE OF YOUR BAKERS ON
"WIPEOUT." AND MAYBE COMBINE THOSE TWO.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE LIKE, I BROUGHT A CAKE! OH, NO.
>> Jimmy: A CAKE MAKES ANY FALL MUCH, MUCH FUNNIER.
>> UH‐HUH, YES, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE FIGURED A LOT OUT.
THE SHOWS ARE "NAILED IT" ON
NETFLIX AND "WIPE OUOUT" WHICH
RELOCATED TO TBS. NICOLE BYER IS HOST OF BOTH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, NICOLE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC FROM TATE McRAE!
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO SHARE SOME
MUSIC WITH YOU. HER EP IS CALLED, "TOO YOUNG TO
BE SAD." FROM TORONTO, CANADA, TATE McRAE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ PLAYING COOL MAKES
ME LOSE MY MIND I CAN'T BE SOMEONE
I DON'T RECOGNIZE ♪
♪ I'M NOT THE TYPE TO
HAVE TO SAY IT TWICE OR WAIT FOR YOU
'TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN FALLING FAST
AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO MOVE BUT IS IT WORSE FOR ME
IF I TELL THE TRUTH ♪
♪ AND ARE YOU JUST A POISON
THAT I SHOULDN'T USE WISH I COULD SAY TO YOU
WHAT I CAN'T SAY TO YOU ♪
♪ WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WAIT UNTIL WE'RE OLDER BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY
YOU MIGHT NOT ♪
♪ EVEN KNOW HER
I'M GOING THROUGH CHANGES IT'S A ROLLERCOASTER
BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY ♪
♪ YOU MIGHT NOT
EVEN KNOW HER WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS WHO
I'LL BE TOMORROW BUT I HOPE THAT YOU
STILL LIKE HER THE SAME ♪
♪ WE MIGHT END UP
STRANGERS SOMEHOW YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME TODAY ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN FALLING FAST
AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO MOVE BUT IS IT WORSE FOR ME
IF I TELL THE TRUTH ♪
♪ AND ARE YOU JUST A POISON
THAT I SHOULDN'T USE WISH I COULD SAY TO YOU
WHAT I CAN'T SAY TO YOU ♪
♪ WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WAIT UNTIL WE'RE OLDER BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY
YOU MIGHT NOT ♪
♪ EVEN KNOW HER
I'M GOING THROUGH CHANGES IT'S A ROLLERCOASTER
BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY ♪
♪ YOU MIGHT NOT
EVEN KNOW HER
WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN FALLING FAST
AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO MOVE BUT IS IT WORSE FOR ME
IF I TELL THE TRUTH ♪
♪ AND ARE YOU JUST A POISON
THAT I SHOULDN'T USE WISH I COULD SAY TO YOU
WHAT I CAN'T SAY TO YOU ♪ WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WAIT UNTIL WE'RE OLDER BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY
YOU MIGHT NOT ♪
♪ EVEN KNOW HER
I'M GOING THROUGH CHANGES IT'S A ROLLERCOASTER
BUT I MIGHT BE SOMEBODY ♪
♪ YOU MIGHT NOT
EVEN KNOW HER WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER ♪
NO WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER
WE COULD TAKE IT SLOWER ♪
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK BOB ODENKIRK, NICOLE BYER, AND
TATE McRAE. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.
TOMORROW NIGHT, JAMIE FOXX AND LAUREN GRAHAM WILL BE WITH US,
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. AND WHEREVER YOU ARE, BEAR,
YOU'RE WITH A BETTER FAMILY NOW. GOOD NIGHT.