1 00:00:00,033 --> 00:00:03,670 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" TONIGHT ‐‐ 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:07,307 DAVID ALAN GRIER, TOPHER GRACE AND MUSIC FROM ALL TIME LOW. 3 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:12,646 AND NOW JIMMY KIMMEL! 4 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,248 >> Jimmy: HI, EVERYONE. WELCOME. I'M JIMMY. 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:19,486 I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 6 00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:20,854 THANKS FOR ‐‐ THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:24,625 I HOPE YOUR WEEKEND WAS GOOD. OUR WEEKEND REALLY ENDED WITH A 8 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,692 BANG. DID YOU FEEL THE EARTHQUAKE, 9 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,929 GUILLERMO? 10 00:00:26,929 --> 00:00:29,031 >> NO, I DID NOT FEEL IT. 11 00:00:29,031 --> 00:00:31,233 >> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T FEEL IT AT ALL? 12 00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:32,901 >> Guillermo: NO, I WAS ASLEEP. 13 00:00:32,901 --> 00:00:34,036 >> Jimmy: WE GOT A NICE LITTLE JOLT EARLY THIS MORNING. 14 00:00:34,036 --> 00:00:36,505 THIS IS INTERESTING. WHEN WE WENT TO BED, IT WAS 15 00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:44,146 APRIL 4th ‐‐ 4/4. THE EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED AT 16 00:00:44,146 --> 00:00:46,648 4:44:00 4:44:00 A. M. AND IT WAS MEASURED 17 00:00:46,648 --> 00:00:48,917 AT 4 ON THE RICHTER SCALE. THAT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING, 18 00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,819 RIGHT? COULD THIS BE HOW THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE SHOW 19 00:00:50,819 --> 00:00:53,522 UP? THE GOOD NEWS IS MY PRECIOUS MOMENTS FIGURINES ARE FINE. 20 00:00:53,522 --> 00:00:58,527 NO DAMAGE. NOW OWE, THEY ALWAYS SAY YOU 21 00:00:58,527 --> 00:01:01,597 SHOULD HAVE A PLAN FOR WHEN THE EARTHQUAKE HURTS. 22 00:01:01,597 --> 00:01:04,766 TURNS OUT MY PLAN IS TO WAKE UP, GRAB MY PHONE, LOOK AT TWITTER 23 00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:07,836 AND PUT IT DOWN. THAT'S MY PLAN. EARTHQUAKES REALLY ARE THE ONLY 24 00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:09,404 THING TWITTER IS GOOD FOR. THERE WERE NO REPORTS OF 25 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:11,473 SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE, THOUGH THEY DID HAVE TO CLOSE THE 26 00:01:11,473 --> 00:01:16,144 ETCH‐A‐SKETCH MUSEUM. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO OPEN TODAY. 27 00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:19,848 EVERYTHING WAS JUST RUINED. I HAVE TO SAY, AFTER 13 MONTHS 28 00:01:19,848 --> 00:01:22,918 OF WORRYING ABOUT INHALING A DEADLY VIRUS, IT WAS KIND OF 29 00:01:22,918 --> 00:01:24,620 NICE TO WORRY ABOUT THE EARTH OPENING UP AND SWALLOWING US FOR 30 00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:28,690 A CHAGE. I WAS BACK TO SLEEP WITHIN SIX 31 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:31,827 MINUTES OF THE EARTHQUAKE. I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL OUR 32 00:01:31,827 --> 00:01:35,464 3‐YEAR‐OLD RAN INTO THE ROOM AT 6:20 SAYING, "DID THE EASTER 33 00:01:35,464 --> 00:01:42,204 BUNNY HIDE MORE STUFF?" NO, HE DID NOT. 34 00:01:42,204 --> 00:01:43,438 YESTERDAY, AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW FROM THE INSTAGRAM POSTS, WAS 35 00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:44,906 EASTER. IT WAS MY PASTEL PINK SHIRT'S 36 00:01:44,906 --> 00:01:49,511 TIME TO SHINE! EVERY YEAR IT COMES OUT AND THEN 37 00:01:49,511 --> 00:01:51,446 GOES RIGHT BACK IN. WE MIXED IT UP THIS YEAR. 38 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,649 INSTEAD OF EASTER EGGS, WE HAD THE KIDS GO ON THE CVS WEBSITE 39 00:01:53,649 --> 00:01:59,988 AND HUNT FOR THE VACCINE. THAT WAS FUN. 40 00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:01,356 WE DID HAVE AN EASTER EGG HUNT. 41 00:02:01,356 --> 00:02:08,563 WE HID 24 EGGS IN THE HOUSE AND 42 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,299 ONCE WE GOT 24 IN THE BASKET, WE WERE OKAY, THAT'S IT, KIDS. 43 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,735 THAT'S ALL THE EGGS. AND THE KIDS WERE LIKE, "HOW DO 44 00:02:13,735 --> 00:02:15,237 YOU KNOW?" "UH, WE JUST KNOW. THIS IS THE KIND OF THING WE 45 00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:21,410 KNOW." THE EASTER BUNNY HAS A MUCH 46 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:24,212 WEAKER BACK STORY, BY THE WAY, MUCH WEAKER THAN SANTA CLAUS. 47 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,547 WE HAD TO MAKE UP A LOT OF DETAILS ON THE SPOT ‐‐ ABOUT 48 00:02:25,547 --> 00:02:27,015 WHERE HE LIVES, WHAT HIS MOTIVATION IS. 49 00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:30,419 WE TOLD THEM HE LIVES IN FLORIDA AND HATES CHICKENS. 50 00:02:30,419 --> 00:02:33,221 IS WHY HE GATHERS THE EGGS. YESTERDAY, MY WIFE TRIED TO 51 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,824 EXPLAIN THE MEANING OF EASTER TO OUR DAUGHTER WHO IS SIX. 52 00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:38,026 SHE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON, SO MOLLY SAID, "WELL, 53 00:02:38,026 --> 00:02:45,834 JESUS DIED." AND JANE GOES "OH, NO!" 54 00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:49,805 IT WAS NEWS TO HER. SHE SAID DON'T WORRY, HE ROSE 55 00:02:49,805 --> 00:02:53,141 FROM THE DEAD, WHICH IS A LOT FOR A CHILD TO DIGEST. 56 00:02:53,141 --> 00:02:56,311 SO WE GAVE HER A HANDFUL OF JELLY BEANS AND SHE SEEMED OKAY. 57 00:02:56,311 --> 00:02:58,413 SOMETIMES I REMEMBER THAT JESUS ONLY LIVED TO BE 33‐YEARS OLD. 58 00:02:58,413 --> 00:03:01,516 THINK ABOUT THAT. THIS WOULD BE LIKE ZAC EFRON 59 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:06,254 RISING AGAIN! 33. 60 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:10,992 YOU UNDERSTAND? 61 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:11,460 >> Guillermo: YEAH. 62 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,261 >> Jimmy: A LOT OF ‐‐ A LOT OF ‐‐ 63 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,196 [ LAUGHTER ] 64 00:03:14,196 --> 00:03:21,069 A LOT OF CHURCHES HELD SERVICES ON ZOOM AGAIN THIS YEAR. 65 00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:23,705 THESE VIRTUAL SERVICES WHICH BRINGS UP AN INTERESTING 66 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:25,207 THEORETICAL AND THEOLOGICAL QUESTION. 67 00:03:25,207 --> 00:03:29,745 CAN GOD HEAR YOUR PRAYERS IF YOU'RE MUTED? I SAY NO. 68 00:03:29,745 --> 00:03:34,883 I DON'T THINK HE CAN. THE WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG ROLL 69 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:38,220 WAS VIRTUAL THIS YEAR BECAUSE OF COVID, AND ALSO BECAUSE OF THE 70 00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:42,824 RISK OF THE BIDENS' DOG MAJOR RIPPING SOME TODDLER'S ARM OFF. 71 00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:43,925 "HE'S JUST PLAYFUL!" THE WHITE HOUSE MADE SPECIAL 72 00:03:43,925 --> 00:03:48,563 EGGS FOR EASTER FEATURING THE PRESIDENT'S DOGS, CHAMP AND 73 00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:49,798 MAJOR, WHO, EVEN ON THE EGG, IT LOOKS LIKE MAJOR IS MAKING A 74 00:03:49,798 --> 00:03:54,236 MESS. PRESIDENT AND MRS. BIDEN OFFERED 75 00:03:54,236 --> 00:03:59,941 THEIR WELL‐WISHES FOR THE HOLIDAY VIA TWITTER. 76 00:03:59,941 --> 00:04:02,677 THEY WROTE "FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS, WE WISH YOU HEALTH, HOPE, 77 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,980 JOY AND PEACE. HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!" 78 00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:06,248 PRESIDENT OBAMA HAD WISHES, HE WROTE, "THIS EASTER, I HOPE WE 79 00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:07,349 CAN ALL TAKE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ON THE BLESSINGS WE 80 00:04:07,349 --> 00:04:08,750 ENJOY AND THE HOPE WE HAVE FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE. 81 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:11,353 FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS, HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY EASTER." 82 00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:14,990 AND EVEN THE EASTER DUMMY HIMSELF, DONALD TRUMP, ISSUED A 83 00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:20,796 MAGA‐NANIMOUS STATEMENT, HE WROTE, "HAPPY EASTER TO ALL, 84 00:04:20,796 --> 00:04:23,198 INCLUDING THE RADICAL LEFT CRAZIES WHO RIGGED OUR 85 00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:25,767 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION AND WANT TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY." 86 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:29,738 HE'S STILL GOT IT. HE DOESN'T HAVE TWITTER, BUT 87 00:04:29,738 --> 00:04:35,177 HE'S STILL GOT IT. THAT MESSAGE WOULD HAVE BEEN 88 00:04:35,177 --> 00:04:38,046 NICE OVER A PICTURE OF JESUS LIKE THIS, RIGHT? BETTER? 89 00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:41,216 I GUESS WE'RE LUCKY WE EVEN HAD EASTER THIS YEAR, BECAUSE 90 00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:42,384 REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP SAID IF BIDEN WON THE ELECTION, THERE 91 00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:46,154 WOULD BE NO HOLIDAYS EVER AGAIN? 92 00:04:46,154 --> 00:04:50,492 >> UNDER BIDEN, THERE WILL BE NO SCHOOL, NO GRADUATIONS, NO 93 00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:53,461 WEDDINGS, NO THANKSGIVING, NO EASTER, NO CHRISTMAS, NO FOURTH 94 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,963 OF JULY, NO NOTHING. 95 00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:59,668 >> THERE WILL BE NO SCHOOL, NO GRADUATIONS, NO WEDDINGS, NO 96 00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:01,837 THANKSGIVINGS, NO EASTERS, NO CHRISTMASES. 97 00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:03,939 >> NO THANKSGIVING, NO EASTER, NO CHRISTMAS. 98 00:05:03,939 --> 00:05:08,176 >> NO THANKSGIVING, NO CHRISTMAS, NO EASTER. 99 00:05:08,176 --> 00:05:11,513 >> THERE WILL BE NO SCHOOL, NO GRADUATIONS, NO WEDDINGS, NO 100 00:05:11,513 --> 00:05:15,650 THANKSGIVING, NO CHRISTMAS, NO FOURTH OF JULY, NO EASTER, NO 101 00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:15,983 NOTHING. 102 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:20,956 >> NO CHRISTMAS, NO EASTER, NO FOURTH OF JULY, AND NO FUTURE. 103 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:22,557 >> Jimmy: NO FUTURE. THERE WILL BE NO FUTURE. 104 00:05:22,557 --> 00:05:28,997 THAT'S THE SAME THING HE WROTE IN DON JR.'S GRADUATION CARD IN 105 00:05:28,997 --> 00:05:32,534 HIGH SCHOOL. KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN LITTLE 106 00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:34,870 HELD AN EASTER EGG HUNT OF HIS OWN AT MAR‐A‐LAGO YESTERDAY. 107 00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,471 DANDY DON JR. WAS THERE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND KAREN ‐‐ I MEAN 108 00:05:36,471 --> 00:05:41,643 KIMBERLY. AND TOGETHER, THEY SHARED A 109 00:05:41,643 --> 00:05:45,280 SWEET ANECDOTE FROM THE TRUMP FAMILY MEMORY BOOK. 110 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:49,517 >> IN THE TRUMP FAMILY, THE EASTER EGG HUNT IS REALLY 111 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:49,851 COMPETITIVE. 112 00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,686 >> IT'S VICIOUS. 113 00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:55,257 >> I REMEMBER KNOCK‐OUT, DRAG‐OUT FIGHTS WITH IVANKA 114 00:05:55,257 --> 00:05:59,561 ESPECIALLY, BACK IN THE DAY, BECAUSE I MAY HAVE, YOU KNOW, 115 00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:03,331 GOTTEN ON THE SECURITY CAMERA SYSTEM AND FIGURED OUT WHERE 116 00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:09,037 THEY HID THE PROVERBIAL GOLDEN EGG. SO WHEN SHE FOUND OUT WHAT I 117 00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:14,309 DID, IT WAS ‐‐ IT WAS BRUTAL. BUT YOU PROBABLY EXPECT NOTHING 118 00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:17,145 LESS. A LOT OF ALPHA PERSONALITIES IN 119 00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:17,746 THERE. 120 00:06:17,746 --> 00:06:21,783 >> Jimmy: EVEN A CUTE FAMILY ANECDOTE MAKES THEM SOUND LIKE 121 00:06:21,783 --> 00:06:27,822 THE REIGN OF CALIGULA, DOESN'T IT? YOU KNOW MY BROTHER DANIEL? 122 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,658 YOU HAVE A BROTHER DANIEL? NOT ANYMORE. 123 00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:35,997 WE KILLED HIM IN THE EGG HUNT. SO THEN, DJTJ TRIED TO PITCH IN 124 00:06:35,997 --> 00:06:40,702 AND GIVE HIS DAUGHTER AN EASTER LEG UP ON THE COMPETITION. 125 00:06:40,702 --> 00:06:41,136 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 126 00:06:41,136 --> 00:06:42,537 >> CHLOE, CHLOE! 127 00:06:42,537 --> 00:06:49,177 CHLOE, CHLOE! 128 00:06:49,177 --> 00:06:53,615 NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT STEALING EGGS. 129 00:06:53,615 --> 00:06:56,651 >> Jimmy: STOP THE STEAL! HEY, LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN, 130 00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:59,287 BECAUSE IT'S FASCINATING. HERE WE GO. 131 00:06:59,287 --> 00:07:01,389 HIS DAUGHTER SNATCHES AN EGG FROM ANOTHER KID'S CLUTCHES. 132 00:07:01,389 --> 00:07:03,558 SO DADDY DECIDES, "I LIKE THAT‐ I'LL THROW HER ANOTHER EGG TO 133 00:07:03,558 --> 00:07:09,197 REWARD HER FOR HER CUNNING AND CUNNING AND SPEED. 134 00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:14,469 BUT THEN THERE NOT ONLY DOES SHE FUMBLE THE INHERITANCE, SHE 135 00:07:14,469 --> 00:07:17,072 DROPS ALL HER OTHER EGGS, SOME OF WHICH GET SCOOPED UP BY OTHER 136 00:07:17,072 --> 00:07:19,441 KIDS. ANOTHER ACCIDENT AT THE INTERSECTION OF PRIVILEGE AND 137 00:07:19,441 --> 00:07:22,510 INEPTITUDE. I THINK THAT MIGHT BE THE 138 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,113 PERFECT METAPHOR FOR GROWING UP TRUMP. 139 00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:32,087 MARCH MADNESS IS ALMOST DONE. AS WE TAPE OUR SHOW RIGHT NOW, 140 00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:36,658 NUMBER ONE SEED GONZAGA IS PLAYING NUMBER ONE SEED BAYLOR 141 00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:38,293 FOR THE NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL TITLE. 142 00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:42,263 SO, BY THE TIME YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE, I MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. 143 00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:44,899 BUT GONZAGA, AS YOU KNOW, HAS BEEN THE SUBJECT OF A LOT OF 144 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,401 CONTROVERSY BECAUSE THEY'RE IMAGINARY. 145 00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:50,538 THERE'S NO SCHOOL NAMED GONZAGA. BUT SOMEHOW, THEY MANAGED TO 146 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:57,812 BLUFF THEIR WAY INTO THE FINALS WITH THIS CRAZY LAST‐SECOND 147 00:07:57,812 --> 00:08:01,016 BUZZER BEATER AGAINST UNDERDOG UCLA. 148 00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:05,020 >> AGAIN WITH THE BALL IN HIS HANDS, IN THE PAINT, FLOATER. 149 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:08,923 SHORT, GOT IT DONE. TIES THEM WITH THREE. 150 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:14,629 GONZAGA HAS DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING. FOR THE WIN! 151 00:08:14,629 --> 00:08:17,899 OH, YES! UNBELIEVABLE! 152 00:08:17,899 --> 00:08:21,403 >> Jimmy: THE CLAPPING YOU HEAR IS FROM USC FANS. 153 00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:28,610 BUT I WANT YOU ‐‐ I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO WHAT JIM NANTZ SAID 154 00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:28,977 AGAIN HERE. 155 00:08:28,977 --> 00:08:32,781 >> FOR THE WIN, OH, YES, UNBELIEVABLE! 156 00:08:32,781 --> 00:08:38,286 >> UNBELIEVABLE, UNBELIEVABLE. ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED NAMES 157 00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:41,656 IN SPORTS JOURNALISM, A FIVE‐TIME SPORTSCASTER JIM NANTZ 158 00:08:41,656 --> 00:08:47,562 CALLS GONZAGA WHAT? UNBELIEVABLE. BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BELIEVE THEY 159 00:08:47,562 --> 00:08:50,498 EXIST EITHER. LOOK AT THIS. IF GONZAGA IS A REAL SCHOOL, WHY 160 00:08:50,498 --> 00:08:55,203 AREN'T THERE ANY STUDENTS IN THE ARENA TO SEE THIS GAME? 161 00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,373 LOOK AT THIS. GAME AFTER GAME, WIN AFTER WIN 162 00:08:58,373 --> 00:09:01,876 IN THIS TOURNAMENT, LOOK AT THE STANDS. THERE'S NOBODY IN THEM. 163 00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:05,947 YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE WAS A FINAL FOUR GAME AND NO ONE 164 00:09:05,947 --> 00:09:08,683 SHOWED UP FOR IT? COULD THAT BE BECAUSE THEY HAVE 165 00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:12,787 NO ALUMNI? BECAUSE NO ONE EVER WENT THERE? 166 00:09:12,787 --> 00:09:20,428 THINK ABOUT THIS. BOTTOM LINE, GONZAGA ISN'T FAITH. 167 00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:24,299 WHY DO I KEEP SAYING IT IS? THIS IS THE OTHER PORTS DRAMA 168 00:09:24,299 --> 00:09:27,936 THAT'S GOING ON. MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL DECIDED 169 00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:31,372 NOT TO HAVE THE ALL‐STAR GAME IN ATLANTA THIS SUMMER IN RESPONSE 170 00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:34,309 TO THE NEW LAW THEY PASSED IN GEORGIA THAT TRIES TO DISCOURAGE 171 00:09:34,309 --> 00:09:36,311 PEOPLE OF COLOR FROM VOTING. BASEBALL DID THE RIGHT THING AND 172 00:09:36,311 --> 00:09:41,182 PULLED THE GAME. AND NOW THE RED‐HATTERS ARE MAD 173 00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:44,385 AT THEM, INCLUDING TAMMY RAMIREZ WHO RELEASED THIS 174 00:09:44,385 --> 00:09:47,021 STRONGLY‐WORDED STATEMENT, "BASEBALL IS ALREADY LOSING 175 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,556 TREMENDOUS NUMBERS OF FANS, AND NOW THEY LEAVE ATLANTA WITH 176 00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:50,125 THEIR ALL‐STAR GAME BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF THE RADICAL LFT 177 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:52,227 DEMOCRATS WHO DO NOT WANT VOTER I.D., WHICH IS DESPERATELY 178 00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:54,796 NEEDED, TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR ELECTIONS. 179 00:09:54,796 --> 00:09:57,432 BOYCOTT BASEBALL AND ALL OF THE WOKE COMPANIES THAT ARE 180 00:09:57,432 --> 00:10:00,001 INTERFERING WITH FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS. 181 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:05,106 ARE YOU LISTENING COKE, DELTA, AND ALL?" 182 00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:07,842 NOW DONALD TRUMP CALLING FOR A BOYCOTT OF COCA‐COLA IS 183 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:10,111 BEAUTIFUL. HE HAD A DIET COKE BUTTON ON HIS 184 00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:14,482 DESK AT THE OVAL OFFICE. 185 00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:22,190 THE MAN URINATES ASPERTAME, 186 00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:24,726 OKAY? AND IT'S ESPECIALLY FUNNY BECAUSE WITH ALL HIS COMPLAINING 187 00:10:24,726 --> 00:10:26,161 ABOUT CANCEL CULTURE, THIS GUY HAS TRIED TO CANCEL MORE CULTURE 188 00:10:26,161 --> 00:10:27,195 THAN ANYONE, EVER. IF YOU LISTENED TO TRUMP, YOU'D 189 00:10:27,195 --> 00:10:30,865 HAVE TO CANCEL BASEBALL, COKE, DELTA AIRLINES, VIACOM‐CBS, 190 00:10:30,865 --> 00:10:37,105 CITIGROUP, CISCO, UPS, APPLE, MACY'S, UNIVISION, HBO, OREO, 191 00:10:37,105 --> 00:10:41,276 ROLLING STONE, FOX NEWS, STARBUCKS, GEICO, GOODYEAR, 192 00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:44,379 AMAZON, AT&T, THE NFL, T‐MOBILE, HARLEY DAVIDSON, NIKE, COMCAST, 193 00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:48,016 AND MERCK. WHICH HAPPENS TO MAKE PROPECIA, 194 00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:50,652 THE DRUG DONALD TRUMP TAKES TO SLOW HIS BALDING DOWN. 195 00:10:50,652 --> 00:10:54,289 WHAT ARE THE CHANCES DONALD TRUMP ACTUALLY GIVES UP 196 00:10:54,289 --> 00:10:56,958 DIET COKE OR HIS BALD HEAD MEDICINE? NONE. 197 00:10:56,958 --> 00:11:04,866 BUT HE WANTS YOU TO. AND IN FACT BECAUSE ‐‐ BECAUSE 198 00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:07,602 IT ALWAYS GOES LIKE THIS. THIS IS SOMETHING STEPHEN MILLER 199 00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:10,238 TWEETED TODAY. "JUST HAD A TERRIFIC MEETING 200 00:11:10,238 --> 00:11:15,143 WITH PRESIDENT ‐‐ NOT PRESIDENT TRUMP." 201 00:11:15,143 --> 00:11:19,414 STEPHEN MILLER IS NOT USING PROPECIA, BUT DONALD TRUMP IS 202 00:11:19,414 --> 00:11:22,717 DRINKING A DIET COKE HIDDEN BEHIND A PHONE ON HIS DESK. 203 00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:26,654 CHEER UP, REPUBLICANS, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WATCH FOOTBALL, 204 00:11:26,654 --> 00:11:30,058 BASEBALL, BASKETBALL OR NASCAR ANYMORE, BUT YOU CAN STILL WATCH 205 00:11:30,058 --> 00:11:33,695 DONALD TRUMP PLAY GOLF! AND DRINK DIET COKE. 206 00:11:33,695 --> 00:11:34,862 FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN MATT GAETZ IS THE TALK OF TE TOWN IN 207 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,364 WASHINGTON. GAETZ IS REPORTED TO BE UNDER 208 00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:37,865 INVESTIGATION BY THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOR POTENTIALLY SEX 209 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,435 TRAFFICKING A 17‐YEAR‐OLD GIRL. HE, OF COURSE, CLAIMS IT'S A 210 00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:45,139 DEEP STATE CONSPIRACY. BUT HERE'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S NOT 211 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,742 GOING WELL FOR MATT. ONE OF HIS FEW DEFENDERS, 212 00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,913 MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, AKA KLAN MOM, APPEARS TO HAVE DELETED ALL 213 00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:56,584 HER PHOTOS WITH MATT GAETZ. ON TWITTER. 214 00:11:56,584 --> 00:12:01,022 LET'S PUT THAT UP AGAIN. WHAT A Q COUPLE THEY ARE. 215 00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:03,658 SHE ERASED HIM JUST LIKE 9/11. GAETZ WROTE AN OP‐ED FOR 216 00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:07,829 THE WASHINGTON EXAMINER TODAY. HE WROTE "MY PERSONAL LIFE IS 217 00:12:07,829 --> 00:12:11,966 AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN CONDUCTED ON MY OWN TIME AND MY OWN DIME." 218 00:12:11,966 --> 00:12:15,436 IN OTHER WORDS, MY DAD NEVER PAID FOR MY SEX! 219 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:19,807 I PAY FOR ALL OF IT. BUT THIS IS A WEIRD DETAIL ABOUT 220 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,110 MATT GAETZ. NOT ONLY DID HE GROW UP IN THE 221 00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,678 HOUSE WHERE THEY FILMED "THE TRUMAN SHOW," HIS FAMILY APPEARS 222 00:12:23,678 --> 00:12:26,281 TO BE SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION,THEY HAVE A SIGN OUT 223 00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:28,950 FRONT LETTING EVERYONE WHO PASSES BY KNOW IT'S THE HOUSE 224 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:36,824 FROM "THE TRUMAN SHOW." AND THE HOME OF MATT GAETZ. 225 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,227 I BET AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE SIGNS COMES DOWN VERY, VERY SOON. 226 00:12:39,227 --> 00:12:40,495 ONE OF THE STORIES THAT HAS BEEN CIRCULATING OVER THE WEEKEND IS 227 00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:42,363 THAT GAETZ USED TO BRAG TO COLLEAGUES ABOUT WOMEN HE SLEPT 228 00:12:42,363 --> 00:12:47,101 WITH. AND HE WOULD GO AROUND, THEY SAY 229 00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:50,038 AND SHOW PEOPLE VIDEOS OF NAKED LADY FRIENDS. 230 00:12:50,038 --> 00:12:53,608 AND HE MADE NO SECRET OF THIS AT ALL. 231 00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:54,275 >> $500. 232 00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:57,445 >> WILL YOU WEAR THE TRUMP MASK? 233 00:12:57,445 --> 00:13:01,049 >> I TOLD YOU, THAT'S A THOUSAND. 234 00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:05,253 >> OKAY. FINE. ARE PERSONAL TEXTS FROM MY DAD 235 00:13:05,253 --> 00:13:05,987 OKAY? 236 00:13:05,987 --> 00:13:08,723 >> NO! 237 00:13:08,723 --> 00:13:12,393 >> Jimmy: HE'S JUST PROUD OF HIMSELF. HE'S A PROUD BOY. 238 00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:16,030 SPEAKING OF MONSTERS, WE HAVE A NEW NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN AMERICA. 239 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:21,769 "GODZILLA VERSUS KONG" WAS TOPS AT THE BOX OFFICE THIS WEEKEND 240 00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:24,339 IT MADE $30 MILLION, WHICH IS A GOOD SIGN FOR MOVIES AND 241 00:13:24,339 --> 00:13:26,274 THEATERS OVERALL. MY KIDS ARE VERY INTERESTED IN 242 00:13:26,274 --> 00:13:30,912 THIS. THE OTHER DAY, I HAD TO SHOW 243 00:13:30,912 --> 00:13:33,047 THEM THE TRAILER BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT GODZILLA IS, 244 00:13:33,047 --> 00:13:35,216 WHAT KING KONG IS. AND SO THIS MORNING, WE DECIDED 245 00:13:35,216 --> 00:13:36,784 TO GET THEM ON TAPE WATCHING IT, AND HERE THEY ARE WITH SOME DVD 246 00:13:36,784 --> 00:13:43,624 COMMENTARY. JANE AND BILLY WATCHING THE 247 00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:47,061 TRAILER FOR "GODZILLA VERSUS KONG." 248 00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:49,197 >> MOM, SOMETHING IS HAPPENING. I'M SCARED TO WATCH IT. 249 00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:53,768 >> I'M SCARED. 250 00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:56,804 >> THIS LOOKS CRAZY. 251 00:13:56,804 --> 00:14:00,041 >> I SEE GODZILLA IS COMING, I SEE HIS TAIL! 252 00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:01,309 >> OH, MY GOSH. 253 00:14:01,309 --> 00:14:03,711 >> IT'S GODZILLA. 254 00:14:03,711 --> 00:14:07,081 >> IS GODZILLA GOING TO EAT KONG? 255 00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:08,716 >> GODZILLA IS COMING. 256 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:16,557 >> AND THEY'RE ALL TALKING ABOUT IT. 257 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:18,292 >> GODZILLA! GODZILLA. 258 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:21,529 >> AND EVERYTHING IS ‐‐ 259 00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:24,298 >> OH, KING KONG PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE. 260 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:27,802 >> OH, KONG THREW GODZILLA IN THE WATER. 261 00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,504 >> HIS TAIL, HIS TAIL. 262 00:14:29,504 --> 00:14:32,940 >> NOW HE BLASTS HIS BLUE LIGHTNING. 263 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:36,043 >> BLUE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR. 264 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:41,482 >> BILLY, SPIDER‐MAN IS NOT IN THIS MOVIE, SILLY. 265 00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:42,583 >> WHAT THE HECK? 266 00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:46,354 >> HE IS FIGHTING. 267 00:14:46,354 --> 00:14:52,226 >> I CAN'T REACH HIM FROM GREATNESS BECAUSE I'M BUILT FROM 268 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:52,627 IT. 269 00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:53,261 >> IT'S STUPID. 270 00:14:53,261 --> 00:14:55,596 >> KONG BOWS TO NO ONE. 271 00:14:55,596 --> 00:14:55,961 >>. 272 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:56,295 ♪ HERE WE GO 273 00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:59,600 >> OH NO! 274 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,204 >> I DON'T LOVE GODZILLA BECAUSE HE'S BAD. 275 00:15:03,204 --> 00:15:07,542 >> "GODZILLA VERSUS KONG" IN THE 276 00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:12,747 THEATERS. 277 00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:14,515 >> Jimmy: THEY'RE ON A ROLL. WHY NOT. 278 00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:15,750 WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT WITH TOPHER GRACE, MUSIC 279 00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,151 FROM ALL TIME LOW, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH OUR OLD PAL, 280 00:15:17,151 --> 00:15:21,255 DAVID ALAN GRIER. SO STICK AROUND. 281 00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:30,039 [ APPLAUSE ] 282 00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:36,412 ♪ 283 00:15:36,412 --> 00:15:40,516 >> Jimmy: THAT IS OUR BASS PLAYER, THE GREAT JIMMY EARL, 284 00:15:40,516 --> 00:15:43,419 WHO WE'VE NOT SEEN IN A YEAR. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIMMY. 285 00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:47,356 I HOPE SOMEBODY BUYS YOU FURNITURE THIS YEAR. 286 00:15:47,356 --> 00:15:48,925 TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW SERIES "HOME ECONOMICS" ON ABC, 287 00:15:48,925 --> 00:15:52,895 TOPHER GRACE IS HERE. AND THEN LATER, THIS IS THEIR 288 00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:56,466 ALBUM. IT'S CALLED, "WAKE UP SUNSHINE" ‐‐ MUSIC FROM 289 00:15:56,466 --> 00:16:02,038 ALL TIME LOW. THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT NEW SHOWS 290 00:16:02,038 --> 00:16:06,375 ALL THIS WEEK WITH MARK WAHLBERG, LUKE BRYAN, 291 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:07,543 KATEY SAGAL, ROMANY MALCO, RAY ROMANO, AND HUNTER BIDEN, 292 00:16:07,543 --> 00:16:10,513 WITH MUSIC FROM THE WALLFLOWERS, NESSA BARRETT, AND JAYDEN 293 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:14,150 FEATURING TRAVIS BARKER. SO PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT. 294 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:19,889 OUR FIRST GUEST IS A MULTI‐TALENTED, MULTI‐NOMINATED, 295 00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:21,057 MULTI‐NAMED ACTOR, AND ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE ON THE 296 00:16:21,057 --> 00:16:25,094 PLANET. HE PLAYS DAD TO JAMIE FOXX IN 297 00:16:25,094 --> 00:16:29,665 THEIR NEW NETFLIX SHOW, "DAD STOP EMBARRASSING ME!." 298 00:16:29,665 --> 00:16:36,672 IT PREMIERS APRIL 14th. PLEASE WELCOME DAVID ALAN GRIER! 299 00:16:36,672 --> 00:16:43,746 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] 300 00:16:43,746 --> 00:16:56,893 WOW! 301 00:16:56,893 --> 00:16:59,362 >> I THOUGHT ‐‐ I THOUGHT THIS WAS A ZOOM. 302 00:16:59,362 --> 00:17:03,065 >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT. WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE 303 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,902 FOR ZOOM? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE? 304 00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:09,238 >> WELL, I KNOW. BUT MAYBE WE WEREN'T GOING TO 305 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:09,772 ACTUALLY ‐‐ 306 00:17:09,772 --> 00:17:14,243 >> Jimmy: NO, YEAH, HERE WE ARE. AND WOW, THAT'S QUITE AN 307 00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:16,979 ENSEMBLE. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 308 00:17:16,979 --> 00:17:18,347 IS THIS SOMETHING YOU NORMALLY WEAR? 309 00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:23,152 >> YEAH, AT HOME, AT HOME. IT'S FOR COMFORT. 310 00:17:23,152 --> 00:17:25,855 >> Jimmy: LET ME FIND THE SIX WORST THINGS IN MY CLOSET. 311 00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:30,092 >> IT'S LIKE THE PRESIDENT'S HERE. PUT HIM ON. THEY CAN'T SEE. 312 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:30,993 THEY CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. 313 00:17:30,993 --> 00:17:36,499 >> Jimmy: WELL, I CAN SEE ONE OF YOUR NUTS. SO THAT'S NICE. 314 00:17:36,499 --> 00:17:37,333 >> WHOA. 315 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:40,670 ♪ HELLO, JIMMY 316 00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,939 NOW AMERICA CAN TOO. 317 00:17:42,939 --> 00:17:44,640 >> Jimmy: HAVE THEY BEEN VACCINATED? 318 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:45,274 >> JUST ONE. 319 00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:47,443 >> Jimmy: JUST ONE. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED THEY SAY. 320 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:51,747 >> THE OTHER ONE IS JEALOUS. BUT I DIGRESS. 321 00:17:51,747 --> 00:17:57,153 YOU KNOW, JIMBO, NOW AMERICA KNOWS I'M A RAW DAWG! 322 00:17:57,153 --> 00:17:58,955 >> Jimmy: I THINK WE KNEW THAT ABOUT YOU ALREADY. 323 00:17:58,955 --> 00:18:00,189 >> I LIKE TO FREE FLY. 324 00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:03,392 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING? EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 325 00:18:03,392 --> 00:18:05,928 >> IT'S PROBABLY FIRST OR SECOND TIME I REALLY BEEN OUT. 326 00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:08,497 >> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? REALLY? 327 00:18:08,497 --> 00:18:11,601 >> WELL, I'M GOOD WHERE I'M AT. I DON'T REALLY ‐‐ 328 00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:15,104 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT WE HAVE 329 00:18:15,104 --> 00:18:17,373 TO COME GET YOU OUT OF QUARANTINE. 330 00:18:17,373 --> 00:18:17,706 >> MAYBE. 331 00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:18,674 >> Jimmy: WHEN IT'S OVER? 332 00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:21,777 >> MAYBE. LIKE THAT DUDE WHO IS STILL 333 00:18:21,777 --> 00:18:22,778 FIGHTING THE WAR. 334 00:18:22,778 --> 00:18:23,613 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 335 00:18:23,613 --> 00:18:27,783 >> IT'S OVER. THE WAR IS OVER! COVID IS OVER. 336 00:18:27,783 --> 00:18:33,556 I COME OUT, BUT I SPEND A LOT OF TIME KIND OF DOING THE MRS. 337 00:18:33,556 --> 00:18:35,658 KRAVITZ AT THE WINDOW. 338 00:18:35,658 --> 00:18:36,826 >> Jimmy: JUST LOOKING AT PEOPLE? 339 00:18:36,826 --> 00:18:41,163 >> WHY ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE? WHAT IS GOING ON? 340 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:45,067 >> Jimmy: JURY SYOU'RE STAYING . YOU'RE BEING GOOD. 341 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:47,336 >> MY DAUGHTER IS 13. SHE IS BEING REALLY GOOD. 342 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:47,870 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HARD. 343 00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:50,640 >> I DON'T WANT TO PUT MY NEUROSIS ON HER. 344 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:55,111 SO I TELL HER DON'T BRING THAT DISEASE IN HERE! 345 00:18:55,111 --> 00:18:56,812 >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD WAY OF DOING IT. 346 00:18:56,812 --> 00:18:59,015 >> GOOD PARENTING, GOOD PARENTING. 347 00:18:59,015 --> 00:19:02,051 >> Jimmy: DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM YOUR OWN THERAPIST? 348 00:19:02,051 --> 00:19:05,254 >> YES. I'M HEAVY. I GOT A WHOLE TEAM HERE, JIMMY. 349 00:19:05,254 --> 00:19:07,089 >> Jimmy: YOU DO? WHAT KIND OF TEAM YOU HAVE? 350 00:19:07,089 --> 00:19:12,895 >> WELL, I GOT MY PSYCHIATRIST, MY PSYCHOLOGIST, MY AGENT, MY 351 00:19:12,895 --> 00:19:15,531 MANAGER, MY LAWYER AND MY PUBLICIST. 352 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:19,402 >> Jimmy: OH, VERY GOOD. THAT'S QUITE A GROUP YOU GOT 353 00:19:19,402 --> 00:19:20,102 TOGETHER. 354 00:19:20,102 --> 00:19:22,038 >> YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT BACK THERE. 355 00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:25,474 >> Jimmy: IT KIND OF DEFEATS THE PURPOSE ‐‐ THEY ARE VACCINATED? 356 00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:28,244 >> WE'RE IN A BUBBLE. WE'RE IN A VERY TIGHT BUBBLE. 357 00:19:28,244 --> 00:19:29,478 >> Jimmy: WHICH VACCINE DID YOU GET? 358 00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,580 >> WELL, I DID ALL OF THEM. 359 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,983 >> Jimmy: YOU GOT ALL OF THEM? 360 00:19:33,983 --> 00:19:37,687 >> YOU NEVER KNOW. YOU NEVER KNOW. 361 00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:39,689 >> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ALL OF THEM. 362 00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:43,192 >> WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW. I TELL YOU WHAT. 363 00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:46,696 COVID'S GOING TO GO TO THE NEXT HOUSE, YOU KNOW WHEN IT COMES TO 364 00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:47,963 THIS ONE. 365 00:19:47,963 --> 00:19:51,767 >> Jimmy: DID YOU CELEBRATE EASTER? WHAT WENT ON FOR EASTER. 366 00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:52,335 >> SORRY. 367 00:19:52,335 --> 00:19:53,636 >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THAT? 368 00:19:53,636 --> 00:19:55,504 >> WELL, IT'S THE OLD TUMMY. 369 00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:59,875 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS YOUR STOMACH? OH MY GOD! 370 00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:03,312 >> I'M ‐‐ I'M KIND OF ON A RESTRICTED DIET HERE. 371 00:20:03,312 --> 00:20:04,080 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT? 372 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,582 >> THIS IS MY LUNCH AND SNACK. 373 00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:09,218 >> Jimmy: THAT'S YOUR LUNCH AND SNACK? 374 00:20:09,218 --> 00:20:13,422 >> JENNY CRAIG. I'M ON 700 CALORIES. 375 00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:14,023 >> Jimmy: A DAY? 376 00:20:14,023 --> 00:20:14,490 >> YEAH. 377 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:18,127 >> Jimmy: REALLY? HOW MANY IS THAT? 378 00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:22,264 >> THIS IS A LOT. THIS IS 17. 379 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:24,533 >> Jimmy: SO THAT IS YOUR LUNCH FOR THE DAY? 380 00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:26,435 >> AND MY SNACK. I SPLIT IT UP. 381 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:28,738 I DON'T WANT TO EAT IT ALL AT ONCE. 382 00:20:28,738 --> 00:20:30,239 >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY ON JENNY CRAIG? 383 00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:32,208 >> I AM. 384 00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:32,842 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE. 385 00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:34,143 >> I LOST OVER 25 POUNDS SO FAR. 386 00:20:34,143 --> 00:20:38,547 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? WOW! 387 00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:39,081 [ APPLAUSE ] 388 00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:42,251 >>AND APPARENTLY I NEED TO LOSE 25 MORE, OKAY. 389 00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:45,588 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU LOST ‐‐ WOW, YOU LOST THAT MANY POUNDS. 390 00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:49,125 >> I DID. I'VE BEEN ON THE DIET FOR LIKE A 391 00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,226 MONTH. AND ‐‐ 392 00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:51,694 >> Jimmy: WELL YOU LOOK GREAT. 393 00:20:51,694 --> 00:20:56,031 >> ACTUALLY, THIS TIME. I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN ON JENNY 394 00:20:56,031 --> 00:20:57,199 CRAIG FOR OVER 30 YEARS. 395 00:20:57,199 --> 00:20:57,700 >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE? 396 00:20:57,700 --> 00:21:01,036 >> YEAH, I STARTED ‐‐ 397 00:21:01,036 --> 00:21:01,971 >> Jimmy: FOR REAL? 398 00:21:01,971 --> 00:21:06,175 >> THAT'S NOT A DIET, RIGHT? THAT'S JUST A LIFESTYLE AT THAT 399 00:21:06,175 --> 00:21:07,777 POINT. THE FIRST TIME I WENT ON IT IS 400 00:21:07,777 --> 00:21:13,382 WHEN WE WERE DOING "IN LIVING COLOR." NOW I KNOW HOW TO PREPARE 401 00:21:13,382 --> 00:21:15,317 BECAUSE BACK THEN I WOULD GET A LITTLE CRANKY. 402 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,719 YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. 403 00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:20,222 >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING, YOU GET CRANKY. 404 00:21:20,222 --> 00:21:21,223 >> WHAT? 405 00:21:21,223 --> 00:21:23,726 [ LAUGHTER ] 406 00:21:23,726 --> 00:21:24,226 >> Jimmy: I'M SORRY. 407 00:21:24,226 --> 00:21:26,228 >> JUST, CAN I FINISH WHAT I'M 408 00:21:26,228 --> 00:21:32,968 SAYING? ANY WAY. 409 00:21:32,968 --> 00:21:38,474 I GET A LITTLE CRANKY, YOU KNOW. AND THE GUYS ON "IN LIVING 410 00:21:38,474 --> 00:21:44,146 COLOR", THEY WOULD PLAY TRICKS ON ME BECAUSE THEY KNEW I WAS ON 411 00:21:44,146 --> 00:21:45,781 A DIET. THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, BUT 412 00:21:45,781 --> 00:21:47,349 THIS IS REALLY ABUSE BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THE POLICE OFFICER 413 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,386 TOLD ME. SO I WAS HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY. 414 00:21:50,386 --> 00:21:54,990 I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY. AND WHEN I GOT UP TO LEAVE, I 415 00:21:54,990 --> 00:21:58,060 HAD THIS LITTLE BAG THAT I HAD ALL MY STUFF IN. 416 00:21:58,060 --> 00:22:01,931 SO TOMMY DAVIDSON, ALL THOSE GUYS, THEY PUT HOT DOGS IN IT 417 00:22:01,931 --> 00:22:05,234 AND MEAT AND STEAKS. AND WHEN I GOT UP, ALL THIS MEAT 418 00:22:05,234 --> 00:22:08,771 AND STUFF FELL OUT. SEE, THAT'S CRUEL THAT IS CRUEL. 419 00:22:08,771 --> 00:22:10,639 I AGREE. THEY'RE WITH ME. 420 00:22:10,639 --> 00:22:13,342 >> Jimmy: WOW, I AM SHOCKED ABOUT THIS JENNY CRAIG THING. 421 00:22:13,342 --> 00:22:15,377 DO YOU GO TO THE MEETINGS AND STUFF? 422 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:18,013 >> WELL, I DO MORE THAN THAT, BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, YOU KNOW 423 00:22:18,013 --> 00:22:20,549 WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT I DISCOVERED, THAT 424 00:22:20,549 --> 00:22:21,817 JENNY IS NEVER WRONG. 425 00:22:21,817 --> 00:22:23,052 >> Jimmy: JENNY IS NEVER WRONG? 426 00:22:23,052 --> 00:22:28,424 >> NO. SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. WE CHECK IN VIRTUALLY, AND I 427 00:22:28,424 --> 00:22:31,560 JUST LISTEN TO HER. WHEN I GET TO A POINT LIKE TODAY 428 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,831 I WAS SHOULD I DO JIMMY KIMMEL AND JENNY SAID YEAH, SO I'M HERE. 429 00:22:35,831 --> 00:22:40,903 >> Jimmy: OH. WOW. I APPRECIATE JENNY GIVING YOU 430 00:22:40,903 --> 00:22:41,537 THE GREEN LIGHT. 431 00:22:41,537 --> 00:22:44,507 >> A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY WELL, JENNY CRAIG, MAYBE SHE DIED. 432 00:22:44,507 --> 00:22:49,378 THEY DON'T KNOW THAT. 433 00:22:49,378 --> 00:22:50,846 >> Jimmy: IS JENNY ALIVE? 434 00:22:50,846 --> 00:22:51,780 >> I DON'T KNOW. 435 00:22:51,780 --> 00:22:52,515 >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW. 436 00:22:52,515 --> 00:22:53,949 >> MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. I DON'T KNOW. 437 00:22:53,949 --> 00:22:55,651 >> Jimmy: MAYBE IT'S ONE OF THOSE "STAR WARS" THINGS WHERE 438 00:22:55,651 --> 00:22:58,087 EVEN IF SHE DOES DIE, SHE JUST BECOMES STRONGER. 439 00:22:58,087 --> 00:22:59,722 >> IS THAT A JOKE? 440 00:22:59,722 --> 00:23:03,125 >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT A JOKE. WE GOT TO GET YOU SOME FOOD. 441 00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:07,263 YOU BROUGHT OUT A PROSCIUTTO. 442 00:23:07,263 --> 00:23:08,163 >> OH MY GOD NO. 443 00:23:08,163 --> 00:23:09,732 >> Jimmy: WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUY? 444 00:23:09,732 --> 00:23:12,635 >> THAT'S GONE, BRO, THAT'S GONE. HE WAS DONATED. 445 00:23:12,635 --> 00:23:16,372 MY DAUGHTER, MY 13‐YEAR‐OLD DAUGHTER IS WITH ME, AND SHE 446 00:23:16,372 --> 00:23:19,275 TEASES ME. EVERY TIME I COOK MY FOOD, SHE 447 00:23:19,275 --> 00:23:23,012 GOES WELL, WHAT'S JENNY GOING TO SAY? I DON'T KNOW. 448 00:23:23,012 --> 00:23:25,447 >> Jimmy: SHE IS SUMMONING JENNY TOO? 449 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,483 >> YES. SHE EATS HER NORMAL FOOD. 450 00:23:27,483 --> 00:23:31,253 I JUST LET HER HAVE HER VOICE, YOU KNOW, EVEN IF DAD IS GOING 451 00:23:31,253 --> 00:23:33,355 THROUGH SOMETHING. I DON'T, YOU KNOW, I DON'T DO 452 00:23:33,355 --> 00:23:34,490 LIKE I USED TO DO. 453 00:23:34,490 --> 00:23:37,826 >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU'RE ON A DIET, YOU HAVE COME TO THE WORST 454 00:23:37,826 --> 00:23:39,895 POSSIBLE PLACE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE SITTING 455 00:23:39,895 --> 00:23:41,030 ACROSS FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF. 456 00:23:41,030 --> 00:23:43,399 >> NOT ANYMORE, MAN, BECAUSE COVID IS WORKING FOR ME. 457 00:23:43,399 --> 00:23:44,033 >> Jimmy: IS IT? 458 00:23:44,033 --> 00:23:47,803 >> YEAH, MAN. YOU DON'T HAVE FOOD OUT LIKE YOU 459 00:23:47,803 --> 00:23:48,771 USED TO. THERE USED TO BE PEOPLE BACK 460 00:23:48,771 --> 00:23:50,873 THERE, YOU HAD A BAND HERE, MAN. 461 00:23:50,873 --> 00:23:54,043 >> Jimmy: GUILLERMO, GO GET DAVID A BURRITO! 462 00:23:54,043 --> 00:24:01,350 >> DON'T DO THAT. I'M WEAK. IT USED TO BE FUN TO COME HERE, 463 00:24:01,350 --> 00:24:02,017 MAN, AND NOW IT'S NOT. 464 00:24:02,017 --> 00:24:06,455 >> Jimmy: WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUN ANYMORE. DAVID ALAN GRIER. 465 00:24:06,455 --> 00:24:09,959 WE'LL HAVE MORE FROM HIM WHEN HE COME BACK. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 466 00:24:09,959 --> 00:24:12,127 ♪ 467 00:24:15,057 --> 00:24:18,527 >>> WHAT UP? I SEE YOU. YOU LOOKING SHARP. 468 00:24:18,527 --> 00:24:20,129 >> I DON'T DO FUNERALS ANYMORE. 469 00:24:20,129 --> 00:24:22,431 >> EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE CASKET, I SEE A FRIEND. 470 00:24:22,431 --> 00:24:25,635 >> SO WHY THE SUIT? OH, WAIT, WHAT TIME IS YOUR 471 00:24:25,635 --> 00:24:26,002 ARRAIGNMENT? 472 00:24:26,002 --> 00:24:29,505 >> AUGUST 11th, 2017. I DIDN'T GO THEN, AND I'M NOT 473 00:24:29,505 --> 00:24:29,838 GOING NOW. 474 00:24:29,838 --> 00:24:33,709 >> FIGHT THE POWER! 475 00:24:33,709 --> 00:24:36,812 >> Jimmy: THAT'S DAVID ALAN GRIER WITH JAMIE FOXX AND 476 00:24:36,812 --> 00:24:42,251 FRIENDS ON THE NEW SHOW "DAD, STOP EMBARRASSING ME!" 477 00:24:42,251 --> 00:24:46,355 >> GO AHEAD AND SAY IT. I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 478 00:24:46,355 --> 00:24:50,359 I WAS HUGE THERE. LOOK AT ME NOW. YEAH, I KNOW. 479 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,461 YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT. 480 00:24:52,461 --> 00:24:54,764 >> Jimmy: JAMIE WAS HERE LAST WEEK, AND WE WERE TALKING 481 00:24:54,764 --> 00:24:57,066 ABOUT ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS, BUT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT 482 00:24:57,066 --> 00:24:59,869 THE FACT THAT YOU WERE PLAYING HIS DAD, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE HOW 483 00:24:59,869 --> 00:25:02,138 MANY YEARS OLDER THAN JAMIE? 484 00:25:02,138 --> 00:25:03,172 >> 11 YEARS. 485 00:25:03,172 --> 00:25:04,640 >> Jimmy: 11 YEARS OLDER THAN HE IS. 486 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,444 >> WHY IS THAT FUNNY? NO, SERIOUSLY. 487 00:25:08,444 --> 00:25:12,715 ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT AN 11‐YEAR‐OLD HAS NEVER FATHERED A 488 00:25:12,715 --> 00:25:15,084 CHILD? BECAUSE THEY HAVE. 489 00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:18,654 >> Jimmy: MAYBE FLAVOR FLAV, BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU ‐‐ 490 00:25:18,654 --> 00:25:21,724 >> IT'S MEDICALLY POSSIBLE. WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT IN SEASON 491 00:25:21,724 --> 00:25:23,726 TWO. 492 00:25:23,726 --> 00:25:26,529 >> Jimmy: HE ALSO TOLD ME YOU WANT TO PLAY YOUR OWN DAD ON THE 493 00:25:26,529 --> 00:25:26,862 SHOW. 494 00:25:26,862 --> 00:25:27,263 >> YEAH. 495 00:25:27,263 --> 00:25:28,698 >> Jimmy: POP‐POP. 496 00:25:28,698 --> 00:25:31,801 >> POP‐POP. 105 YEARS OLD. 497 00:25:31,801 --> 00:25:32,268 >> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. 498 00:25:32,268 --> 00:25:38,341 >> AND HE STILL DRIVES. I PITCHED IT TO JAMIE WHILE WE 499 00:25:38,341 --> 00:25:40,443 WERE DOING OUR PRESS JUNKET. 500 00:25:40,443 --> 00:25:43,946 >> Jimmy: HE LIKED IT. HE TOLD ME HE LIKED IT. 501 00:25:43,946 --> 00:25:48,651 WHEN DID YOU MEET JAMIE? HOW LONG AGO, WAS IT BEFORE "IN 502 00:25:48,651 --> 00:25:49,985 LIVING COLOR"? 503 00:25:49,985 --> 00:25:53,856 >> IT WAS WHILE HE WAS ON "IN LIVING COLOR." 504 00:25:53,856 --> 00:25:57,159 YOU KNOW, BACK THEN WE WOULD DO FOUR ROOMS A NIGHT, FIVE. 505 00:25:57,159 --> 00:26:00,796 IT'S WHEN YOU GO AND DO SPOTS, TRY OUT YOUR STAND‐UP AND STUFF. 506 00:26:00,796 --> 00:26:04,033 THE FIRST TIME I SAW JAMIE WAS AT A CLUB CALLED THE TOWN HOUSE 507 00:26:04,033 --> 00:26:06,469 OUT NEAR THE AIRPORT, WHICH YOU KNOW THAT'S A GOOD COMEDY. 508 00:26:06,469 --> 00:26:10,573 IT'S NEAR THE AIRPORT. SO HE WAS THERE, AND THAT WAS 509 00:26:10,573 --> 00:26:15,644 THE FIRST TIME I NOTICED HIM, AS A COMEDIAN, I DIDN'T THINK HE 510 00:26:15,644 --> 00:26:17,680 WOULD EVER WORK WITH ME, BUT, YOU KNOW. 511 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,883 THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME. 512 00:26:20,883 --> 00:26:27,056 AND JAMIE TOLD ME THAT HE HEARD THAT I WAS RICHARD PRYOR'S SON, 513 00:26:27,056 --> 00:26:30,092 BUT THAT I HAD CHANGED MY NAME BECAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE IT ON 514 00:26:30,092 --> 00:26:31,360 MY OWN. 515 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,062 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 516 00:26:33,062 --> 00:26:34,730 >> YEAH. 517 00:26:34,730 --> 00:26:37,400 >> Jimmy: DID YOU ‐‐ YOU NEVER HEARD THAT STORY BEFORE? 518 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,035 >> NO. I ONLY HEARD IT FROM HIM. 519 00:26:40,035 --> 00:26:41,270 >> Jimmy: FROM HIM? 520 00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:43,606 >> I WAS WOW, NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 521 00:26:43,606 --> 00:26:48,110 >> Jimmy: IF YOU WERE RICHARD PRYOR'S SON, WOULD YOU HAVE KEPT 522 00:26:48,110 --> 00:26:48,778 RICHARD'S LAST NAME? 523 00:26:48,778 --> 00:26:52,148 >> OH, YEAH, 100%. I TRIED TO CHANGE MY NAME TO 524 00:26:52,148 --> 00:26:52,782 DAVID KIMMEL. 525 00:26:52,782 --> 00:26:54,850 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? I WASN'T AWARE OF THAT. 526 00:26:54,850 --> 00:26:56,285 >> WELL, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE. 527 00:26:56,285 --> 00:26:58,654 >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW MY PARENTS ARE VERY FOND OF YOU. 528 00:26:58,654 --> 00:27:04,193 >>OH MY GOD. SO DUDE, LIKE I'VE BEEN GOING 529 00:27:04,193 --> 00:27:06,529 TO ‐‐ I'VE BEEN DOING THE ROAD FOR OVER 25 YEARS. 530 00:27:06,529 --> 00:27:07,129 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 531 00:27:07,129 --> 00:27:11,400 >> IT MUST HAVE STARTED 15 YEARS AGO MAYBE. 532 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:17,273 ANY TIME I GO TO ARIZONA, TEMPE, YOUR MOM AND DAD ‐‐ 533 00:27:17,273 --> 00:27:19,208 >> Jimmy: TEMPE. TEMPE. 534 00:27:19,208 --> 00:27:22,878 >> YOUR MOM AND DAD COME. LAST TIME I WAS IN PHOENIX, YOUR 535 00:27:22,878 --> 00:27:28,317 MOM AND DAD CAME, AND AT THIS POINT THEY'VE COME SO MANY TIMES 536 00:27:28,317 --> 00:27:32,421 THAT THEY FEIGN EXCITEMENT, LIKE I'M A REAL SON. 537 00:27:32,421 --> 00:27:37,426 THEY GO OH, LOOK AT YOU! OKAY, WE LOVE SEEING YOU. 538 00:27:37,426 --> 00:27:38,327 I'M LIKE OH. 539 00:27:38,327 --> 00:27:40,629 >> Jimmy: THEY DO LOVE SEEING YOU. YEAH. 540 00:27:40,629 --> 00:27:42,932 >> YOUR MOM BROUGHT ME A CHICKEN DISH. 541 00:27:42,932 --> 00:27:45,501 IT'S HER FAMOUS CHICKEN DISH. I DON'T REMEMBER IT. 542 00:27:45,501 --> 00:27:50,005 BUT YOUR SISTER WAS THERE. AND I GUESS YOUR MOM HAD A ‐‐ 543 00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:54,176 HER GIRLS CLUB, WOMEN. AND IT WAS SOME LEFTOVER. 544 00:27:54,176 --> 00:27:55,678 >> Jimmy: SHE BROUGHT YOU LEFTOVERS? 545 00:27:55,678 --> 00:27:59,849 >> SHE BROUGHT ME LEFTOVERS. 546 00:27:59,849 --> 00:28:02,852 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT KIND OF CHICKEN? 547 00:28:02,852 --> 00:28:05,955 BECAUSE MY MOTHER MADE A MILLION THINGS FOR EASTER YESTERDAY. 548 00:28:05,955 --> 00:28:09,525 BUT HER FAMOUS CHICKEN IS FRIED CHICKEN. WAS IT FRIED CHICKEN? 549 00:28:09,525 --> 00:28:10,226 >> YOUR MOM KNOWS BETTER THAN 550 00:28:10,226 --> 00:28:19,001 THAT. 551 00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:19,835 >> Jimmy: OKAY. 552 00:28:19,835 --> 00:28:22,538 >> SHE WOULDN'T GO THERE. YOUR MOM HAVE VERY WOKE. 553 00:28:22,538 --> 00:28:25,975 THAT'S CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. SHE WASN'T. IT WAS GOOD. 554 00:28:25,975 --> 00:28:29,478 THE CHICKEN WAS GOOD. BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOUR MOM 555 00:28:29,478 --> 00:28:31,680 BROUGHT IT, SHE SAT AND WATCHED. 556 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,350 >> Jimmy: WATCHED YOU EAT IT? OH, YEAH, OH, I KNOW. 557 00:28:34,350 --> 00:28:35,584 >> THIS IS GOOD. 558 00:28:35,584 --> 00:28:38,621 >> Jimmy: SHE IS NO JENNY CRAIG, THAT'S FOR SURE. 559 00:28:38,621 --> 00:28:43,025 >> NO! NO, SHE IS NOT. BUT I LOVE YOUR ‐‐ I LOVE YOUR 560 00:28:43,025 --> 00:28:45,895 PARENTS. THEY'RE VERY SWEET. COME ON, THEY'RE VERY SWEET. 561 00:28:45,895 --> 00:28:47,429 >> Jimmy: SWEET. MAYBE SHE'LL BRING YOU SOME 562 00:28:47,429 --> 00:28:48,030 FRESH FOOD NEXT TIME. 563 00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:52,001 >> NO, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. I'LL MENTION IT TO HER. 564 00:28:52,001 --> 00:28:52,735 >> NO! 565 00:28:52,735 --> 00:28:56,405 >> Jimmy: I'LL TELL HER YOU'RE ON A VERY STRICT DIET. 566 00:28:56,405 --> 00:28:59,542 >> NOW YOU HAVE YOUR CLUB IN VEGAS. THAT'S A VERY LONG DRIVE. 567 00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:02,344 >> Jimmy: IT, BUT NOW THEY LIVE HERE NOW. 568 00:29:02,344 --> 00:29:03,445 >> THEY LIVE HERE? 569 00:29:03,445 --> 00:29:09,585 >> Jimmy: THEY MOVED HERE TO L.A. REALLY? 570 00:29:09,585 --> 00:29:10,352 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT IN TOO MUCH. 571 00:29:10,352 --> 00:29:11,720 >> THIS COVID KNOCKED EVERYTHING OUT. IT CHANGED EVERYTHING. 572 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,055 >> Jimmy: IT IS WONDERFUL ALWAYS TO SEE YOU. 573 00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:13,656 >> IT IS. 574 00:29:13,656 --> 00:29:17,293 >> Jimmy: I HOPE THAT THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU YOU'RE ALL JENNY 575 00:29:17,293 --> 00:29:19,495 CRAIGED UP. MAYBE WOULD GET RID OF THAT MESS 576 00:29:19,495 --> 00:29:20,296 OF A BEARD. 577 00:29:20,296 --> 00:29:24,333 >> I'M GOING SHAVE MY BEARD. I'M GOING LOSE 60 OR 72 MORE 578 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:24,666 POUNDS. 579 00:29:24,666 --> 00:29:25,801 >> Jimmy: TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH. 580 00:29:25,801 --> 00:29:28,971 >> AND I WANT TO GET BACK TO MY BIRTH WEIGHT. 581 00:29:28,971 --> 00:29:33,375 >> Jimmy: DAVID ALAN GRIER, EVERYBODY. 582 00:29:33,375 --> 00:29:35,844 "DAD STOP EMBARRASSING ME!" PREMIERES APRIL 15th. 583 00:29:35,844 --> 00:29:36,745 >> THANK YOU, GUYS. 584 00:29:36,745 --> 00:29:38,647 >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE BACK WITH TOPHER GRACE. 585 00:29:38,647 --> 00:29:39,548 >> DO I LEAVE NOW OR DO I STAY? 586 00:29:39,548 --> 00:29:41,517 >> Jimmy: STAY. 587 00:29:41,517 --> 00:29:42,918 ♪ 588 00:29:44,735 --> 00:29:46,085 ♪ 589 00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:49,844 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK. ALL TIME LOW IS ON THE WAY. 590 00:29:49,844 --> 00:29:51,513 OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR AND TV TIME‐TRAVELER YOU KNOW FROM 591 00:29:51,513 --> 00:29:55,016 THE PAST ON "THAT '70s SHOW" AND THE FUTURE IN "INTERSTELLAR." 592 00:29:55,016 --> 00:29:57,652 AND NOW, HE INHABITS THE WORST DECADE OF ALL, THE 2020s, IN THE 593 00:29:57,652 --> 00:30:00,955 NEW SHOW "HOME ECONOMICS." 594 00:30:00,955 --> 00:30:02,323 >> COME ON. ASK HIM. 595 00:30:02,323 --> 00:30:03,858 >> NO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME. 596 00:30:03,858 --> 00:30:04,993 >> THIS IS EXACTLY THE TIME. 597 00:30:04,993 --> 00:30:07,062 >> HEY, WHAT'S UP? 598 00:30:07,062 --> 00:30:12,467 >> WELL, IT ‐‐ WE'RE ACTUALLY HAVING A SEXUAL PROBLEM. 599 00:30:12,467 --> 00:30:12,801 >> EW. 600 00:30:12,801 --> 00:30:13,468 >> WHAT? 601 00:30:13,468 --> 00:30:15,270 >> I AGREE. WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT 602 00:30:15,270 --> 00:30:16,671 IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. 603 00:30:16,671 --> 00:30:19,674 >> WE NEED TO BORROW MONEY BUT TOM IS AFRAID TO ASK. 604 00:30:19,674 --> 00:30:20,642 >> YOU DO? 605 00:30:20,642 --> 00:30:22,811 >> NO. I KNOW EVERYONE THINKS THAT MY 606 00:30:22,811 --> 00:30:25,780 CAREER IS THRIVING. BUT ‐‐ 607 00:30:25,780 --> 00:30:27,115 >> OH! 608 00:30:27,115 --> 00:30:32,153 >> Jimmy: "HOME ECONOMICS" PREMIERES WEDNESDAY ON ABC. 609 00:30:32,153 --> 00:30:36,357 PLEASE WELCOME TOPHER GRACE! 610 00:30:36,357 --> 00:30:36,691 [ APPLAUSE ] 611 00:30:36,691 --> 00:30:40,762 HOW YOU? 612 00:30:40,762 --> 00:30:46,067 HOW'S IT GOING? 613 00:30:46,067 --> 00:30:46,501 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 614 00:30:46,501 --> 00:30:47,969 >> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. HAVE YOU BEEN ON JENNY CRAIG? 615 00:30:47,969 --> 00:30:50,004 >> FOR YEARS NOW, YES. KEPT IT OFF. 616 00:30:50,004 --> 00:30:51,206 >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE ABC FAMILY. 617 00:30:51,206 --> 00:30:55,710 >> OH, THANK YOU. I ‐‐ THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 618 00:30:55,710 --> 00:30:58,279 >> Jimmy: YES. WE'RE ALL WARMLY WELCOMING YOU. 619 00:30:58,279 --> 00:31:02,784 >> I WAS AN INTERN IN ABC CASTING IN NEW YORK FOR A SUMMER. 620 00:31:02,784 --> 00:31:03,184 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 621 00:31:03,184 --> 00:31:05,153 >> YEAH, BEFORE MY SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. 622 00:31:05,153 --> 00:31:05,720 >> Jimmy: WOW. 623 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,591 >> AND I HADN'T ACTED BEFORE AND ALMOST CONVINCED ME TO NEVER GET 624 00:31:09,591 --> 00:31:10,158 INTO ACTING. 625 00:31:10,158 --> 00:31:13,661 >> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? SO YOU WERE ONE OF THE CASTING 626 00:31:13,661 --> 00:31:16,498 DEPARTMENT, THE DEPARTMENT THAT CHOOSES ACTORS TO BE IN THEIR 627 00:31:16,498 --> 00:31:16,931 PROJECTS? 628 00:31:16,931 --> 00:31:19,968 >> YES. AND MARCY PHILIPS, WHO WAS NICE 629 00:31:19,968 --> 00:31:22,804 ENOUGH TO EMPLOYEE ME, SHE ALSO WORKED ON THIS PILOT. 630 00:31:22,804 --> 00:31:23,404 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 631 00:31:23,404 --> 00:31:23,771 >> YEAH. 632 00:31:23,771 --> 00:31:26,908 >> Jimmy: WOW. THAT WORKED OUT WELL FOR HER 633 00:31:26,908 --> 00:31:27,241 THEN TOO. 634 00:31:27,241 --> 00:31:29,844 >> YES. YEAH, I REALLY GOT BACK AT HER. 635 00:31:29,844 --> 00:31:31,913 >> Jimmy: OH, WOW. THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY. 636 00:31:31,913 --> 00:31:35,650 >> ACTUALLY, I WENT TO THE UP‐FRONTS FOR ABC AS A PAGE THE 637 00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:40,021 YEAR BEFORE I WENT TO THE UP‐FRONTS ‐‐ I HAD A WEIRD THING 638 00:31:40,021 --> 00:31:43,892 WHERE SOMEONE SAW ME IN A HIGH SCHOOL PLAY AND I HAD NEVER 639 00:31:43,892 --> 00:31:45,994 AUDITIONED AGAIN AND IT WAS FOR "THAT '70S SHOW." 640 00:31:45,994 --> 00:31:47,061 AND THE UP‐FRONTS AGAIN. 641 00:31:47,061 --> 00:31:49,764 >> Jimmy: THE UP‐FRONTS IS THE EVENT WHERE THEY INTRODUCE ALL 642 00:31:49,764 --> 00:31:51,166 THE NEW SHOWS TO THE ADVERTISER. 643 00:31:51,166 --> 00:31:51,866 >> WHICH YOU HOST. 644 00:31:51,866 --> 00:31:53,968 >> Jimmy: I'M A PART OF ALMOST EVERY YEAR. 645 00:31:53,968 --> 00:31:56,070 AND SO YOU WERE THERE WORKING AS AN INTERN? 646 00:31:56,070 --> 00:31:59,841 >> YEAH. AND MY ONLY MEMORY IS I MET 647 00:31:59,841 --> 00:32:05,046 MICHAEL J. FOX, WHICH IS AMAZING IN "SPIN CITY" AND GREG FROM 648 00:32:05,046 --> 00:32:07,615 DHARMA AND GREG YELLED AT ME BECAUSE HIS COFFEE WASN'T HOT 649 00:32:07,615 --> 00:32:07,948 ENOUGH. 650 00:32:07,948 --> 00:32:08,917 >> Jimmy: HE DID? WHAT? 651 00:32:08,917 --> 00:32:13,288 >> AND THEN THE NEXT YEAR I WAS AT THE UP‐FRONT, THE FOX 652 00:32:13,288 --> 00:32:15,924 UP‐FRONTS FOR "THAT '70S SHOW" AND SOME KID WAS LIKE IS THAT 653 00:32:15,924 --> 00:32:20,929 COFFEE HOT ENOUGH, SIR? I WAS LIKE YES! 654 00:32:20,929 --> 00:32:22,864 LIKE YOU ARE ENOUGH. 655 00:32:22,864 --> 00:32:24,165 >> Jimmy: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 656 00:32:24,165 --> 00:32:30,138 I JUST HEAD THIS WEIRD MEMORY. LAURA PREPON, WHO WAS YOUR 657 00:32:30,138 --> 00:32:32,140 CASTMATE WAS ON THAT SHOW WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT. 658 00:32:32,140 --> 00:32:36,844 AND SHE WAS AT THE UP‐FRONT TOO. AND I HAPPENED TO BE STANDING 659 00:32:36,844 --> 00:32:41,549 NEAR THE DESK AT THE HOTEL, AND SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SHE SAID 660 00:32:41,549 --> 00:32:44,485 "DO YOU WORK FOR FOX?" AND AT THE TIME I WAS ON FOX 661 00:32:44,485 --> 00:32:47,755 SPORTS. AND I YES, I DO. "THEY DO NOT HAVE MY ROOM RIGHT. 662 00:32:47,755 --> 00:32:52,460 WILL YOU HANDLE THIS FOR ME?" AND I SAID I'LL GET RIGHT ON 663 00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:55,630 THAT. YOU JUST GO SIT OVER THERE. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. 664 00:32:55,630 --> 00:32:56,764 >> Jimmy: DID YOU TAKE CARE OF IT? 665 00:32:56,764 --> 00:33:00,034 >> NO, I LEFT. I NEVER TOOK CARE OF ANYTHING. 666 00:33:00,034 --> 00:33:03,638 OF COURSE NOT. WHAT CAN I TAKE CARE OF. 667 00:33:03,638 --> 00:33:08,176 >> IF ALL OF YOU NEW LAURA, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. 668 00:33:08,176 --> 00:33:09,844 >> Jimmy: THIS SHOW IS VERY FUNNY. 669 00:33:09,844 --> 00:33:14,382 THE IDEA OF THE SHOW IS THREE SIBLINGS VERY DIFFERENT 670 00:33:14,382 --> 00:33:14,882 FINANCIAL SITUATIONS. 671 00:33:14,882 --> 00:33:15,984 >> YES. ONE IS KIND OF STRUGGLING TO GET 672 00:33:15,984 --> 00:33:20,355 BY. I'M KIND OF PLAYING THE BROTHER 673 00:33:20,355 --> 00:33:23,458 WHO IS MIDDLE CLASS. AND THEN THERE IS A BROTHER, OUR 674 00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:28,329 YOUNGER BROTHER WHO IS NOT ONLY IN THE 1%, HE JUST BOUGHT HIS 675 00:33:28,329 --> 00:33:34,269 HOUSE FROM MATT DAMON. YOUR ARCHNEMESIS. 676 00:33:34,269 --> 00:33:36,938 >> Jimmy: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. HE BOUGHT THE HOUSE FROM MATT 677 00:33:36,938 --> 00:33:37,303 DAMON. 678 00:33:37,303 --> 00:33:37,636 >> YEAH. 679 00:33:37,636 --> 00:33:39,274 >> Jimmy: AND THIS IS LIKE A BIG DEAL IN THE FAMILY. 680 00:33:39,274 --> 00:33:43,478 >> THIS IS LIKE A RUNNING GAG ON OUR SHOW, BUT ALSO I THOUGHT HOW 681 00:33:43,478 --> 00:33:45,980 GREAT THAT I'M COMING TO DO THE SHOW. 682 00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:48,916 >> Jimmy: DOES MATT DAMON KNOW THAT YOU BOUGHT HIS HOUSE ON THE 683 00:33:48,916 --> 00:33:49,249 SHOW? 684 00:33:49,249 --> 00:33:54,555 >> WELL, YEAH, WE HAD TO CLEAR A CLIP FROM "WE BOUGHT A ZOO" FOR 685 00:33:54,555 --> 00:33:55,023 THIS SHOW. 686 00:33:55,023 --> 00:33:58,059 >> Jimmy: OH, NO, THAT'S NOT GOOD OMEN FOR THE SHOW. 687 00:33:58,059 --> 00:34:00,695 >> I KNOW. I KNOW YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH. 688 00:34:00,695 --> 00:34:03,364 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHO DOESN'T? REALLY. 689 00:34:03,364 --> 00:34:07,035 >> BUT HE ACTUALLY WAS WONDERFUL ABOUT IT. 690 00:34:07,035 --> 00:34:09,904 AND I THINK HIS PEOPLE, BIG STAR LIKE THAT HE'S GOT SO MANY 691 00:34:09,904 --> 00:34:13,074 PEOPLE AROUND HIM KIND OF SAID OH, YOU CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH 692 00:34:13,074 --> 00:34:15,443 HIM. HE IS OFF SHOOTING A FILM IN IRELAND OR SOMETHING. 693 00:34:15,443 --> 00:34:19,814 AND THEN THAT AFTERNOON HE CALLED AND SAID WE COULD USE IT. 694 00:34:19,814 --> 00:34:21,215 IT WAS REALLY NICE OF HIM. 695 00:34:21,215 --> 00:34:23,951 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING TO DO, RIGHT? BECAUSE NOBODY ‐‐ 696 00:34:23,951 --> 00:34:27,922 >> I HAVE A GREAT MATT DAMON HOUSE STORY WITH YOU IN IT, 697 00:34:27,922 --> 00:34:31,426 WHICH IS, YOU KNOW, WE ALL ASSUME THESE LATE NIGHT ‐‐ THESE 698 00:34:31,426 --> 00:34:34,896 ARE ALL THE WRITER, RIGHT? 699 00:34:34,896 --> 00:34:37,398 >> Jimmy: SOME OF THEM ARE, YES. TWO OF THEM. 700 00:34:37,398 --> 00:34:40,134 >> LATE NIGHT HOSTS HAVE THESE GREAT WRITERS AND MOLLY IS DOING 701 00:34:40,134 --> 00:34:42,937 ALL OF IT, RIGHT. I WAS ALWAYS WONDERING HOW SHARP 702 00:34:42,937 --> 00:34:46,541 REALLY ARE YOU IN PERSON. AND WE HAPPENED ‐‐ I KNOW HE'S 703 00:34:46,541 --> 00:34:49,977 YOUR ENEMY, BUT YOU HAPPENED TO BE AT A BABY SHOWER THAT WE WENT 704 00:34:49,977 --> 00:34:50,342 TO. 705 00:34:50,342 --> 00:34:55,750 >> Jimmy: I WAS TOLD IT WAS A GOING AWAY PARTY. 706 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:59,754 >> WE BOTH ‐‐ WE HAD A MUTUAL FRIEND WHO WAS HAVING THEIR BABY 707 00:34:59,754 --> 00:35:01,255 SHOWER AT MATT'S HOUSE. 708 00:35:01,255 --> 00:35:01,656 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. 709 00:35:01,656 --> 00:35:03,858 >> AND I WAS SITTING NEXT TO YOU. 710 00:35:03,858 --> 00:35:07,328 I THINK YOU ONLY TOLD ME THIS JOKE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE 711 00:35:07,328 --> 00:35:11,332 FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARD. MATT GAVE A SPEECH WHERE HE SAID 712 00:35:11,332 --> 00:35:13,134 WE'RE SO GLAD YOU WERE BORN TO THIS BABY. 713 00:35:13,134 --> 00:35:14,836 AND WE WERE SITTING THERE LISTENING TO HIM. 714 00:35:14,836 --> 00:35:16,804 IT'S REALLY A WONDERFUL DAY YOU WERE BORN. 715 00:35:16,804 --> 00:35:23,411 AND YOU LEANED OVER TO ME AND SAID "GOD, HE'S GOT TO WORK BORN 716 00:35:23,411 --> 00:35:24,412 INTO EVERYTHING." 717 00:35:24,412 --> 00:35:26,481 >> Jimmy: THAT IS TRUE. HE IS VERY NEEDY. 718 00:35:26,481 --> 00:35:31,319 HE IS VERY DESPERATE. AND I THINK HE IS WORKING AS AN 719 00:35:31,319 --> 00:35:34,689 EXTRA ON "MARVEL" MOVIES NOW. IT'S VERY SAT. 720 00:35:34,689 --> 00:35:38,059 HOW LONG SINCE "70s SHOW" WENT OFF THE AIR? 721 00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:40,428 >> OH, I THINK IT WAS 15 YEARS. 722 00:35:40,428 --> 00:35:41,829 >> Jimmy: 15 YEARS? HOLY COW. 723 00:35:41,829 --> 00:35:43,398 ARE YOU LOOKING TO GET BECOME ON TV? 724 00:35:43,398 --> 00:35:46,100 >> YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS OPEN TO STUFF THAT'S REALLY WELL WRITTEN 725 00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:49,470 LIKE THIS SHOW, BUT NO, IT WASN'T SOMETHING I WAS LOOKING 726 00:35:49,470 --> 00:35:56,144 TO DO. AND THEN I HAD DONE 727 00:35:56,144 --> 00:35:59,414 ""BLACKKLANSMAN" AND I WENT FROM PLAYING SOMEONE LIKE DAVID DUKE 728 00:35:59,414 --> 00:36:03,050 TO PLAYING EVIL TECH WIZARD. AND SUDDENLY I WAS GETTING ONLY 729 00:36:03,050 --> 00:36:06,721 SCRIPPS LIKE NEO‐NAZIS. 730 00:36:06,721 --> 00:36:10,491 >> Jimmy: THE GRAND WIZARD TO THE TECH WIZARD. 731 00:36:10,491 --> 00:36:13,594 >> I WAS THINKING MAYBE I WENT A LITTLE TOO FAR IN THAT 70s SHOW. 732 00:36:13,594 --> 00:36:18,065 IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. I LOVED DOING "THAT '70S SHOW." 733 00:36:18,065 --> 00:36:21,369 I WANTED TO TRY LOTS OF THINGS. MAYBE I WENT A LITTLE TOO FAR IN 734 00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:23,671 ONE DIRECTION. I WAS OPEN TO DOING THIS. 735 00:36:23,671 --> 00:36:25,540 IT'S AS MUCH FUN AS IT LOOKS LIKE. 736 00:36:25,540 --> 00:36:29,010 >> Jimmy: ISN'T THAT FUNNY HOW YOU PLAY A COUPLE OF THINGS 737 00:36:29,010 --> 00:36:32,246 CONVINCINGLY, AND YOU KNOW WHO WOULD BE GREAT WHITE SUPREMACIST? 738 00:36:32,246 --> 00:36:32,914 TOPHER GRACE. 739 00:36:32,914 --> 00:36:37,084 >> MY MOM IS THRILLED ABOUT IT. 740 00:36:37,084 --> 00:36:41,255 >> Jimmy: WHAT PARENT WOULDN'T BE? WELL, I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS 741 00:36:41,255 --> 00:36:44,525 SHOW. IT LOOKS VERY FUNNY. AND WE NEED ‐‐ YOU KNOW, WE NEED 742 00:36:44,525 --> 00:36:47,195 SHOWS LIKE THIS HERE AT ABC. AND I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE 743 00:36:47,195 --> 00:36:50,898 VERY HAPPY HERE, BECAUSE I THINK IT'S LIKE SIX YEARS IN YOU GET 744 00:36:50,898 --> 00:36:52,867 LIKE A 10% DISCOUNT TO DISNEYLAND. 745 00:36:52,867 --> 00:36:56,871 THERE ARE REALLY A LOT OF PERKS THAT GO ALONG WITH BEING A CAST 746 00:36:56,871 --> 00:37:03,077 MEMBER AS YOU WOULD BE KNOWN. TOPHER GRACE "HOME ECONOMICS" 747 00:37:03,077 --> 00:37:06,347 PREMIERES WEDNESDAY NIGHT 8:00 P.M. HERE ON ABC. 748 00:37:06,347 --> 00:37:09,383 WE'LL BE BACK WITH ALL TIME LOW. 749 00:37:09,383 --> 00:37:10,685 ♪ 750 00:37:12,467 --> 00:37:14,703 >> Dicky: THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY 751 00:37:14,703 --> 00:37:19,074 MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 752 00:37:19,074 --> 00:37:21,676 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME NOW FOR MUSIC. 753 00:37:21,676 --> 00:37:23,612 THEIR ALBUM IS CALLED, "WAKE UP SUNSHINE." 754 00:37:23,612 --> 00:37:27,048 WITH THE SONG "MONSTERS," ALL TIME LOW! 755 00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:27,582 ♪ 756 00:37:27,582 --> 00:37:28,116 ♪ WHY DO ALL THE MONSTERS 757 00:37:28,116 --> 00:37:29,651 COME OUT AT NIGHT WHY DO WE SLEEP WHERE 758 00:37:29,651 --> 00:37:30,185 WE WANT TO HIDE♪ 759 00:37:30,185 --> 00:37:30,852 ♪ WHY DO I RUN BACK TO YOU LIKE 760 00:37:30,852 --> 00:37:35,924 I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE♪ 761 00:37:35,924 --> 00:37:36,992 ♪ ANOTHER DAY 762 00:37:36,992 --> 00:37:39,127 ANOTHER HEADACHE 763 00:37:39,127 --> 00:37:47,002 IN THIS HANGOVER HOTEL GETTIN' USED TO THE RHYTHM ♪ 764 00:37:47,002 --> 00:37:47,436 ♪ YEAH, I KNOW THIS 765 00:37:47,436 --> 00:37:53,642 BEAT TOO WELL TUNNEL VISIONS GOT ME FEELING 766 00:37:53,642 --> 00:37:55,210 TUNNEL VISIONS GOT ME FEELING LIKE YOU'RE THE ♪ 767 00:37:55,210 --> 00:37:55,744 ♪ ONLY ONE I SEE 768 00:37:55,744 --> 00:37:59,915 BUT I KNOW WHAT'S MISSING WHEN I'M SWIMMIN' 769 00:37:59,915 --> 00:38:00,449 IN MY LONELY LUXURY ♪ 770 00:38:00,449 --> 00:38:01,983 ♪ I'M WONDERING 771 00:38:01,983 --> 00:38:05,120 WHY DO ALL THE MONSTERS COME OUT AT NIGHT 772 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,154 WHY DO WE SLEEP ♪ 773 00:38:06,154 --> 00:38:06,721 ♪ WHERE WE WANT TO HIDE 774 00:38:06,721 --> 00:38:10,892 WHY DO I RUN BACK TO YOU LIKE I DON'T MIND 775 00:38:10,892 --> 00:38:11,927 IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 776 00:38:11,927 --> 00:38:12,961 ♪ WHY AM I A SUCKER 777 00:38:12,961 --> 00:38:16,097 FOR ALL YOUR LIES STRUNG OUT LIKE LAUNDRY 778 00:38:16,097 --> 00:38:17,666 ON EVERY LINE ♪ 779 00:38:17,666 --> 00:38:21,069 ♪ WHY DO I COME BACK TO YOU 780 00:38:21,069 --> 00:38:26,608 LIKE I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 781 00:38:26,608 --> 00:38:28,276 ♪ I'M ADDICTED TO THE WAY YOU 782 00:38:28,276 --> 00:38:32,447 HURT, THE WAY YOU CONTRADICT ME, I THINK OF ALL THE THINGS, WHO I 783 00:38:32,447 --> 00:38:37,719 MIGHT HURT ALONG THE WAY, LISTENING TO EVERY WORD, I DON'T 784 00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:41,723 CARE ♪ TELL ME PRETTY LIES, LOOK ME IN 785 00:38:41,723 --> 00:38:44,259 THE FACE, TELL ME THAT YOU LIKE ME EVEN IF IT'S FAKE ♪ 786 00:38:44,259 --> 00:38:47,562 BECAUSE YOU CAN LEAD ME ON AND LEAVE THESE QUESTIONS IN THE 787 00:38:47,562 --> 00:38:49,130 SHEETS, MAKE MY BED ♪ 788 00:38:49,130 --> 00:38:51,666 ♪ AND I'M STILL WONDERING WHY DO 789 00:38:51,666 --> 00:38:57,873 ALL THE VOICES COME OUT AT NIGHT ♪ WHY DO I RUN BACK TO YOU♪ 790 00:38:57,873 --> 00:39:02,043 ♪ LIKE I DON'T MIND 791 00:39:02,043 --> 00:39:05,080 IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 792 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,115 ♪ WHY AM I A SUCKER FOR ALL OF 793 00:39:07,115 --> 00:39:08,517 YOUR LIES, 794 00:39:08,517 --> 00:39:10,285 ♪ WHY DO I COME BACK TO YOU LIKE 795 00:39:10,285 --> 00:39:16,291 I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 796 00:39:16,291 --> 00:39:18,059 ♪ THINKING ABOUT YOUR YOU'RE IN 797 00:39:18,059 --> 00:39:21,429 MY HEAD, EVEN WITHOUT YOU I STILL FEEL DEAD ♪ 798 00:39:21,429 --> 00:39:23,164 ♪ WHY DO I RUN BACK TO YOU LIKE 799 00:39:23,164 --> 00:39:28,870 I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 800 00:39:28,870 --> 00:39:32,340 ♪ EVEN WITHOUT YOU YOU'RE IN MY 801 00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:32,673 HEAD, 802 00:39:32,673 --> 00:39:33,108 ♪ WHY DO I COME BACK TO YOU 803 00:39:33,108 --> 00:39:40,248 LIKE I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 804 00:39:40,248 --> 00:39:41,950 ♪ I'M WONDERING WHY DO ALL THE 805 00:39:41,950 --> 00:39:43,785 MONSTERS COME OUT AT NIGHT ♪ 806 00:39:43,785 --> 00:39:46,588 ♪ WHY DO WE SLEEP WHERE WE WANT 807 00:39:46,588 --> 00:39:47,389 TO HIDE ♪ 808 00:39:47,389 --> 00:39:49,558 ♪ WHY DO I RUN BACK TO YOU LIKE 809 00:39:49,558 --> 00:39:53,929 I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 810 00:39:53,929 --> 00:39:57,599 ♪ WHY AM I A SUCKER FOR ALL YOUR 811 00:39:57,599 --> 00:40:00,435 LIES, STRUNG OUT LIKE LAUNDRY ON EVERY LINE ♪ 812 00:40:00,435 --> 00:40:02,137 ♪ WHY DO I COME BACK TO YOU LIKE 813 00:40:02,137 --> 00:40:06,875 I DON'T MIND IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 814 00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:11,746 ♪ 815 00:40:11,746 --> 00:40:14,516 ♪ LIKE I DON'T MIND 816 00:40:14,516 --> 00:40:20,622 IF YOU RUIN MY LIFE ♪ 817 00:40:20,622 --> 00:40:22,023 >> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS 818 00:40:22,023 --> 00:40:24,827 PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING. 819 00:40:27,495 --> 00:40:28,696 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK DAVID ALAN GRIER, TOPHER GRACE 820 00:40:28,696 --> 00:40:32,467 AND ALL TIME LOW. APOLOGIES TO THE NOW HOMELESS 821 00:40:32,467 --> 00:40:34,502 MATT DAMON. TOMORROW NIGHT, RAY ROMANO AND 822 00:40:34,502 --> 00:40:36,537 ROMANY MALCO WILL JOIN US, WITH MUSIC FROM NESSA BARRETT AND 823 00:40:36,537 --> 00:40:39,140 JAYDEN FEATURING TRAVIS BARKER. "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 824 00:40:39,140 --> 00:40:42,644 WATCH IT WHILE YOU FINISH THOSE PEEPS. THANKS FOR WATCHING. 825 00:40:42,644 --> 00:40:46,144 GOOD NIGHT.