>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD ‐‐ IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" TONIGHT ‐‐
LUKE BRYAN, KATEY SAGAL, AND WWE SUPERSTAR, THE MIZ.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HI, I'M JIMMY. I'LL ALSO A WW SUPERSTAR.
THANKS FOR WATCHING. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH, I KNOW THAT.
YOU COULD BE ON TIKTOK WATCHING THE YOUNG PEOPLE DANCE.
BUT HERE WE ARE ON WORLD HEALTH DAY. AND GUESS WHAT?
THE WORLD ISN'T THAT HEALTHY TODAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY PRETTY SICKLY.
THERE WERE 62,000 NEW CASES OF COVID HERE IN THE UNITED STATES
ALONE YESTERDAY. AND THIS IS INTERESTING.
FIVE STATES ACCOUNT FOR NEARLY HALF OF THE NEW COVID INFECTIONS.
NEW YORK, NEW JERSEY, MICHIGAN, PENNSYLVANIA, AND YES, FLORIDA.
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES IT WOULDN'T BE FLORIDA?
[ LAUGHTER ]
SOME OF THESE STATES MAKE SENSE. JERSEY HAS THE HIGHEST
POPULATION DENSITY, NEW YORK HAS THE BIGGEST CITY.
FLORIDA'S WHOLE ECONOMY IS BASED ON STRANGERS DRINKING JUNGLE
JUICE AND GRINDING ON EACH OTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT PENNSYLVANIA AND MICHIGAN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS UP TO?
THERE ARE ONLY 176 PEOPLE PER SQUARE MILE IN MICHIGAN.
GET ON A PONTOON BOAT AND WAIT IT OUT ALREADY, WILL YOU?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE'VE BEEN AVERAGING MORE THAN 3 MILLION
SHOTS A DAY. THE WHITE HOUSE SAYS THAT BY THE
END OF THE WEEKEND, ALMOST HALF OF AMERICAN ADULTS WILL HAVE HAD
THEIR FIRST DOSE OF THE VACCINE. THE QUESTION IS, WILL THEY COME
BACK FOR THE SECOND DOSE? HEALTH OFFICIALS HAVE SEEN A
RISE IN WHAT THEY CALL VACCINE HESITANCY, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE
FEEL SICK AFTER THEIR SECOND SHOT.
THEY TELL PEOPLE, AND PEOPLE GO, I'M NOT GOING TO GET THE SECOND
SHOT. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WILL MAKE YOU
FEEL SICK? COVID.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MAKES YOU FEEL VERY SICK, COVID‐19 SPECIFICALLY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
DR. FAUCI IS STRONGLY URGING AMERICANS TO GO IN FOR THEIR
SECOND SHOT. HE REITERATED THAT IT TAKES TWO
TO MAKE THE THING GO RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEN HE BROUGHT UP ROB BASE, AND DID THE WHOLE SONG, IT WAS
AWESOME. WHY WOULD YOU STOP AFTER GETTING
THE FIRST DOSE? IT'S LIKE GETTING HALF A HAIRCUT.
THINK OF IT THIS WAY. IT'S LIKE ADOPTING A PET.
YOU NEED THAT SECOND PET SO THE FIRST ONE HAS SOMEONE TO PLAY
WITH. RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE ARE STILL BEING ENCOURAGED TO WEAR MASKS.
AND WITH THAT IN MIND, WILL.I.AM OF THE BLACK‐EYED PEAS HAS
TEAMED UP WITH HONEYWELL TO OFFER WHAT THEY CALL THE "SUPER
MASK."
SUPERX, X AS IN EXPENSIVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
STARTING TOMORROW IT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR $299.
THE MASK COMES WITH VENTILATION FILTERS, L. E. D. LIGHTS, AND
NOISE‐CANCELLING HEADPHONES, WHICH WILL COME IN HANDY WHEN
EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU FOR SPENDING $300 ON THE MASK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT IS WILL.I.AM WEARING THE MASK.
LOOKS LIKE IF SHREDDER FROM THE NINJA TURTLES MOVED TO BROOKLYN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW. SEEMS TO ME LIKE THIS MASK IS
A LITTLE 2000 AND LATE, AS THEY SAID.
[ APPLAUSE ]
NOT ONLY ARE WE COMING OUT OF THIS, I ALREADY DESIGNED A SUPER
MASK. WE UNVEILED IT ON THE SHOW LAST
NIGHT. IT'S CALLED THE MASK SHIRT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS THING IS ON FIRE. WE GOT A HUGE OUTPOURING OF
FEEDBACK, INCLUDING A LIKE FROM THE GREAT PETER FRAMPTON, WHO
GAVE IT A THUMBS UP ON TWITTER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S A SOLID ENDORSEMENT. WE GOT THE FRAMP STAMP OF
APPROVAL!
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU HEAR THAT GUILLERMO? IF WE CAN KEEP THIS COVID GOING,
WE'RE GONNA MAKE MILLIONS!
>> Guillermo: YES, THAT'S RIGHT. A LOT OF MONEY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN MATT GAETZ COULD USE ONE OF OUR
MASK SHIRTS TO COVER HIS FACE RIGHT NOW.
"THE NEW YORK TIMES" REPORTED LAST NIGHT, GAETZ ASKED TRUMP
FOR A PARDON ABOUT FOUR MONTHS AGO.
HE IS SAID TO HAVE ASKED FOR A "BLANKET PRE‐EMPTIVE PARDON"
FROM THEN PRESIDENT TRUMP, DURING THE FINAL WEEKS OF HIS
ADMINISTRATION, WHICH, THAT'S NOT THAT SUSPICIOUS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG WHEN YOU CHECK IN
WITH THE PRESIDENT TO ASK FOR A PARDON IN CASE YOU HAPPEN TO GET
ACCUSED OF A SECOND CRIME SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S NOT ABNORMAL. THE PARDON REQUEST WAS
REPORTEDLY SEEN AS A NONSTARTER AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
WHICH THAT'S SAYING A LOT, SINCE DONALD TRUMP ONCE WANTED TO NUKE
A HURRICANE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE REASON THE WHITE HOUSE DENIED THE PREEMPTIVE PARDON FOR
MATT GAETZ IS BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD SET A BAD
PRECEDENT. AT THE TIME, THEY WERE ONLY
INTERESTED IN SETTING TERRIBLE PRECEDENTS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"BAD PRESIDENT" SHOULD BE THE TITLE OF TRUMP'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
THAT'S GOT A RING TO IT. TEAM GAETZ IS PUSHING BACK ON
THE REPORT. ACCORDING TO HIS SPOKESPERSON,
GAETZ WASN'T ASKING FOR A PARDON FOR HIMSELF SPECIFICALLY.
HE ASKED TRUMP FOR A BLANKET PARDON FOR "EVERYONE FROM
HIMSELF TO JOE EXOTIC." RIGHT. THAT MAKES SENSE.
TRUMP WEIGHED IN ON THE STORY WITH A TWO‐SENTENCE STATEMENT.
"CONGRESSMAN MATT GAETZ HAS NEVER ASKED ME FOR A PARDON.
IT MUST ALSO BE REMEMBERED THAT HE HAS TOTALLY DENIED THE
ACCUSATIONS AGAINST HIM." YES, IT MUST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I GUESS THAT WAS THE BEST TRUMP COULD DO FOR GAETZ.
NOW THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE TWITTER ANYMORE.
HIS ADVISERS, ACCORDING TO MAGGIE MAYBER MAN OF "THE
TIMES," TALKED HIM OUT OF A FULL‐THROATED DEFENSE OF GAETZ.
WHICH IS SAD, BECAUSE MATT GAETZ WAS THE SON DONALD TRUMP NEVER
HAD. EVEN THOUGH HE HAD A COUPLE. MEANWHILE, THE SON HE DIDN'T
WANT, DON JR., WAS ON SOMETHING CALLED THE VICTORY CHANNEL LAST
NIGHT CELEBRATING THE THREE‐MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF HIS
FATHER CAUSING A RIOT.
>> IT IS INTERESTING TO ME I SEE THE FBI TWEETING DAILY, HERE'S A
PICTURE OF SOMEONE SEEN NEAR THE CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6th.
YOU NEVER SEE THEM TALKING ABOUT 10 MONTHS OF LOOTING, RIOTING,
ARSON, MURDER THAT WAS DONE BY ANTIFA AND SIMILAR TERRORIST
GROUPS ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
>> Jimmy: "AHN TEEFAH."
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, AREN'T YOU FANCY? DOES HE THINK IT'S AN ITALIAN
WORD? THIS IS HIS THING NOW. CHANGING PRONUNCIATIONS.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE FIGHTING FOR THE MAGA MOVEMENT, FIGHTING FOR THE
AMERICAN WORKER. I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE
FIGHTING FOR THOSE MAGA REPUBLICANS AND CONSERVATIVES ‐‐
>> Jimmy: MAH‐GAH NOW?
AND AN‐TEE‐FAH? WHAT AN AHS‐HOLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN OTHER UNWANTED OFFSPRING NEWS, ANDREW GIULIANI, SON OF
COUNT DRACULA, SAYS HE IS "STRONGLY CONSIDERING" A RUN FOR
GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK. THAT IS ANDREW GIULIANI. HE'S 35.
HIS FATHER IS ALREADY SAID TO BE PLANNING A BIG FUNDRAISER AT THE
RITZ CRACKER FACTORY IN NEW JERSEY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUNIOR GIULIANI WORKED IN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE AS A "SPECIAL
ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT," WHERE HIS JOB, AND THIS IS FOR
REAL, WAS TO COORDINATE SPORTS TEAMS' VISITS TO THE WHITE HOUSE.
BASICALLY, HE WAS THE GUY WHO CALLED BURGER KING AND SAID,
"I NEED 200 WHOPPERS WITH CHEESE, PLEASE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND WHILE HE MAY BE YOUNG, ANDREW GIULIANI GOT AN EARLY
START IN POLITICS AS A HYPE MAN FOR HIS DAD BACK IN 1994 WHEN
RUDY WAS MAYOR OF NEW YORK.
>> TO MY MOTHER, HELEN, WHO IS
84 YEARS OLD.
>> OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE MUST HAVE GIVEN HIM 10 BUCKS IN HIS BIRTHDAY CARD
THAT YEAR. THAT'S NEW YORK'S NEXT GOVERNOR
RIGHT THERE. IN MAJOR MOTION PICTURE NEWS ‐‐
REMEMBER THOSE PESKY LITTLE PEEPS THAT WERE ALL OVER YOUR
CARPET LAST WEEK? WELL, NOW THERE'S GOING TO BE A
MOVIE ABOUT THEM. THERE'S A FILM IN THE WORKS
BASED ON PEEPS, WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA.
BUT HEY, PEOPLE THOUGHT A MOVIE ABOUT EMOJIS WOULD BE A TERRIBLE
IDEA TOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, THEY WERE RIGHT? YES, THEY WERE RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL MAYBE THIS WILL BE DIFFERENT.
THE MOVIE IS SAID TO FOLLOW "A RAGTAG GROUP OF PEEPS CHARACTERS
WHO SET OUT ON A CROSS‐COUNTRY JOURNEY IN ORDER TO ATTEND
PEEPSFEST, AN ANNUAL BRAND CELEBRATION IN PENNSYLVANIA."
SPOILER ALERT, THEY ALL GET KILLED IN A MICROWAVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SOME IDEAS, YOU'RE LIKE, "WHY DIDN'T THEY THINK OF IT BEFORE?"
AND OTHERS YOU'RE LIKE, "WHY DID THEY THINK OF THAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANYWAY, WE DID SOME SPIT‐BALLING AROUND THE OFFICE TODAY AND CAME
UP WITH SOME PEEP MOVIE IDEAS OF OUR OWN.
AND WE EVEN MADE POSTERS TOO. I HEREBY PITCH THE FOLLOWING
PEEP‐RELATED PROJECTS TO HOLLYWOOD. HERE WE GO.
"JAMES AND THE GIANT PEEP."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"PEEP FICTION." "PEEP IMPACT." "NIGHTMARE ON ELM PEEP."
"PEEPING BEAUTY."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"PEEPING WITH THE ENEMY." "PEEPER BY THE DOZEN."
"PEEP THROAT." AND THE SOON‐TO‐BE CLASSIC,
STARRING NONE OTHER THAN TOM HANKS.
>> I HOPE THEY HAVE THE TELESCOPES.
♪
>> YOU'RE ANNIE?
[ SQUAWK ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. "PEEPLESS IN SEATTLE."
WE REPLACED MEG RYAN WITH A PEEP.
IT'S A TOUGH BUSINESS, IT REALLY IS. ONE MORE ITEM OF IMPORTANCE.
WRESTLEMANIA 37 IS THIS WEEKEND, STREAMING LIVE SATURDAY AND
SUNDAY AT 8:00 EASTERN ON PEACOCK, AND ONE OF THE MEN YOU
WILL SEE IN THE RING IS WWE SUPERSTAR THE MIZ.
THE MIZ IS A VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD INDIVIDUAL, WHO
NEVER SUGARCOATS ANYTHING, WHICH IS WHAT YOU NEED IN THE
WORKPLACE. SO WE HID CAMERAS IN OUR
CONFERENCE ROOM, SET MEETINGS WITH OUR REAL CO‐WORKERS.
WE TOLD THEM THEY'D BE GETTING A CORPORATE PERFORMANCE REVIEW,
WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED HERE BEFORE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY BELIEVED IT.
AND HERE IS MIZ DEEP UNDERCOVER AS AN AGENT OF ABC HR.
♪
>> COME ON IN.
>> HELLO.
>> I'M MIKE.
>> I'M MICKEY.
>> I'VE BEEN ASKED TO COME HERE AND GIVE YOU A JOB PERFORMANCE
REVIEW.
>> OH, I'VE NEVER HAD LIKE AN OFFICIAL ONE BEFORE.
>> VERY UPBEAT.
>> I LOVE MY JOB.
>> YOU'RE KNOWN AS COUSIN MICKEY, WHY IS THAT?
>> I AM A COUSIN TO MANY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I'M ‐‐ I REALLY DON'T TELL PEOPLE, YOU KNOW.
I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE I'M BRAGGING BUT JIMMY IS MY COUSIN.
>> DO YOU THINK THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DISCLOSE TO HUMAN
RESOURCES?
>> WELL ‐‐ UM ‐‐ WELL, I WOULD THINK THAT THEY WOULD KNOW.
>> ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR
PERFORMANCE REVIEW?
>> YES, PLEASE.
LOOK AT THOSE, THOSE ARE
MANNERS, THERE WE GO!
♪
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MICKEY. YOUR CO‐WORKERS FIND YOU
RELENTLESSLY UPBEAT AND POSITIVE, THEY FIND IT
EXHAUSTING. BUT YOU SPREAD CHEER AROUND THE
OFFICE ON A DAILY BASIS, AND THEY APPRECIATE THAT, BECAUSE
THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT THINK YOU ONLY GOT
YOUR JOB BECAUSE OF NEPOTISM. YOU KNOW WHAT WE SAY TO THOSE
MORONS? THINK AGAIN, MORONS! PLEASE!
MICKEY, SIT DOWN DURING YOUR PERFORMANCE REVIEW.
OKAY WHAT DO WE SAY?
>> WHAT DO WE SAY? NO!
>> YES!
>> I THINK NOT!
>> THEY THINK THAT YOU'RE GIVING IN, MICKEY. JUST GIVE IN.
>> NO, LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
>> MICKEY, PLEASE, MICKEY, MICKEY!
>> COME ON, NO ‐‐
>> BECAUSE YOU AREVERY GOOD AT YOUR JOB!
BECAUSE YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, SPARKLY, UNICORN GODDESS.
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT. NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND GO
SMILE, BE HAPPY, AND STOP COMING NEAR ME!
THIS IS AWKWARD, THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD AND WEIRD, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
>> THANK YOU! I THINK!
>> BUT ‐‐ BUT ‐‐ BUT ‐‐
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> COME ON IN. HOW ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR JOB?
>> PRETTY GOOD.
>> WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT?
>> I PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING, ATTENTION TO DETAIL,
ATTENTION TO JIMMY, TRYING TO KEEP EVERYBODY HAPPY.
>> HAVE YOU EVER USED MARIJUANA?
>> YES, I HAVE. YES. OFTEN.
>> YOU'RE OPEN ABOUT THAT?
>> OH, YEAH, YES.
>> EVER ON THE JOB?
>> NOT ON THE JOB. AFTER THE JOB AND BEFORE THE JOB.
BUT NOT ON THE JOB.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOLD ON ‐‐ I HAVE SMOKED WITH SNOOP ONCE, THAT WAS ON THE JOB.
>> ON THE JOB?
>> YES, SIR.
>> LET ME ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION.
>> YES, SIR.
>> DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BOSS PEOPLE AROUND BECAUSE
YOU'RE MANAGING A STAGE?
>> NO.
>> THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION. BECAUSE YOU CAN!
AND YOU HAVE TO! BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS!
WHEN YOU FIRST GOT HERE, PEOPLE LOOKED AT THIS AND SAID, HEY,
LOOK AT THIS BRITISH BLOKE, LOOK AT ALL THAT NEGATIVE.
AND YOU USED IT TO FUEL YOUR FIRE, TO BECOME THE BEST DAMN
STAGE MANAGER EITHER SIDE OF THE POND!
NOW SURE, YOU HAVE AN OCCASIONAL TOKE HERE AND THERE.
BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD AT YOUR JOB, YOU NEED PERFORMANCE DEHANSING
DRUGS! ARE YOU THIRSTY?
>> YEAH, I AM ‐‐
>> YOU'RE THIRSTY? HERE'S A GLASS!
YOU DON'T NEED A GLASS, YOU DON'T NEED OF THAT!
YOU KNOW WHAT, STAND UP. STAND UP AND SCREAM, I LOVE
STAGE MANAGING!
>> I LOVE STAGE MANAGING!
>> I WANT MORE GLASS! I LOVE STAGE MANAGING!
>> I LOVE STAGE MANAGING!
>> THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!
>> HEY, HOW ARE YOU? PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
>> OKAY.
>> HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN ANYTHING OUT OF THE OFFICE THAT WAS THE
SOLE PROPERTY OF THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO. NOTHING.
NOTHING. THEY HAVE FOOD, I EAT IT.
THEY HAVE TEQUILA, YOU KNOW, I JUST GRAB THE BOTTLE ‐‐
>> HAVE YOU EVER DRANK ON THE JOB?
>> ALL THE TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WANT TO DRINK THE JOB. I WANT TO DRINK MONDAY THROUGH
THURSDAY.
>> DOES THAT ALCOHOL HELP YOU LAUGH AT JIMMY'S JOKES?
>> HA HA HA! YES, SOMETIMES, YEAH.
>> ALL RIGHT. ARE THOSE LAUGHS PRETTY GENUINE?
>> SOMETIMES.
>> YEAH, SOMETIMES? YOU'RE THE SECURITY GUARD HERE,
RIGHT?
>> UH‐HUH.
>> SO LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF
YOU?
>> NO. I'M NOT A CRAZY GUY.
>> GUILLERMO! YOU'RE WEARING SLACKS AND THAT
LITTLE TIE. THAT'S A CLIP‐ON! A CLIP‐ON!
JIMMY KIMMEL IS A FAMOUS MAN! HE NEEDS THE TYPE OF PROTECTION
A HERO OF HIS CALIBER DESERVES! STAND UP, GUILLERMO, STAND UP!
SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT, SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT, SHOW IT OFF,
GUILLERMO, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, SHOW THEM, THAT'S RIGHT, SHOW
THEM YOU'RE A CHAMP! YES, GUILLERMO, THAT'S RIGHT!
SHOW THEM YOUR GUNS! SAY, I'M THE CHAMP.
>> I AM THE CHAMP.
>> SAY, I'M THE CHAMP I AM.
>> I AM ‐‐
>> SAY, I'M THE CHAMP!
>> I AM THE CHAMP.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT P. A. STANDS FOR?
>> PRODUCTION ASSISTANT?
>> NO, NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING. IT STANDS FOR "POWER OUTPUT."
>> DO YOU WANT TO WATCH TV ON THIS?
DO YOU WANT TO WATCH TV ON THIS? THERE IS A TV, WE'RE NOT
WATCHING THAT. OH, JUST SLAM THAT CHAIR, SAY
I'M THE CHAMP. SLAM THE CHAIR RIGHT THERE,
GUILLERMO. RIGHT THERE, GUILLERMO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, MIZ. REALLY STRAIGHTENED EVERYBODY
OUT. WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
KATEY SAGAL IS WITH US, AND BE RIGHT BACK WITH LUKE BRYAN, SO
STICK AROUND!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, THERE. TONIGHT, FROM THE NEW SHOW
"REBEL" WHICH AIRS HERE ON ABC, KATEY SAGAL IS WITH US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TOMORROW NIGHT, MARK WAHLBERG AND HUNTER BIDEN ARE HERE WITH
MUSIC FROM THE WALLFLOWERS. OUR FIRST GUEST IS A COUNTRY
STAR WITH MORE THAN 12 MILLION ALBUMS SOLD, 26 NUMBER ONE HITS,
AND TEETH SO WHITE YOU COULD BUILD A PIANO OUT OF THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WATCH HIM LIVE ON "AMERICAN IDOL" SUNDAYS AND MONDAYS HERE
ON ABC, PLEASE WELCOME LUKE BRYAN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: HOW'S IT GOING?
>> NICE. THIS FEELS LIKE WORK.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IS IT WORK? WE'RE BACK TO WORK?
>> Jimmy: THAT IS GOOD IT FEELS LIKE WORK?
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE WORK.
>> MY WIFE'S ENJOYING IT.
>> Jimmy: I'M ALREADY DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
YOUR WIFE'S ENJOYING IT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HOME?
>> BECAUSE I'M OUT AND ABOUT AND OUT OF HER HAIR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: 26 NUMBER ONE HITS.
>> I KNOW, WHEN YOU RAMBLED OFF THE SETS ‐‐
>> Jimmy: CRAZY.
>> KIND OF MAKES ME PROUD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: IT SHOULD MAKE YOU PROUD.
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE WITH KATY AND LIONEL.
>> RIGHT BEFORE THE YOU KNOW WHAT HIT THE FAN.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT. SO YOU WENT HOME.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE MOST OF THE TIME?
>> WE ACCIDENTALLY GOT QUARANTINED AT THE BEACH.
WHICH SOUNDS AMAZING. UNTIL YOU START TRYING TO
HOMESCHOOL AT THE BEACH.
>> Jimmy: OH. TRYING TO KEEP THE KIDS
UNINTERESTED IN THE BEACH?
>> OH, YEAH. I'M NOT ‐‐ YOU KNOW, MY WIFE ‐‐
YOU KNOW, SHE TOWED ‐‐ SHE MADE ALL THAT HAPPEN.
I WAS A TERRIBLE HOMESCHOOLER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU REALLY HOMESCHOOLING?
A LOT OF PARENTS SAY THEY'RE HOMESCHOOLING THEIR KIDS, BUT
REALLY WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS WALKING AROUND THE KITCHEN WHILE
THE KIDS ARE ON THE COMPUTER WITH THE TEACHER.
>> YES, WE'RE DIGRESSING IN EDUCATION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THE WORD "HOMESCHOOLING" IS BEING USED
VERY LIBERALLY NOW.
>> WHAT A CHALLENGE.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT ‐‐ SPEAKING OF KIDS, YOUR
MOM ‐‐
>> OH, GOODNESS.
>> Jimmy: WHO IS QUITE A CHARACTER, BASED ON WHAT I CAN
TELL FROM HER INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT. PLAY THE VIDEO OF LUKE'S MOM.
>> HI. YOU LUKE BRYAN FANS, CRASHING
THE PARTY, COME TO MAMA BRYAN'S SPA PARTY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: FIRST, I GUESS DID PEOPLE SHOW UP FOR HER SPA PARTY?
>> WELL, YEAH, THAT'S CALLED HER VERSION OF ART DIRECTION.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HER VERSION OF ART.
>> Jimmy: SO SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY POUND ALL THOSE BUDWEISERS?
>> WELL ‐‐ YOU KNOW. IT WAS DAYTIME.
SO SHE DOESN'T START DRINKING HER BEER UNTIL 7:00 CENTRAL.
SHE WILL NOT START ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS A REAL‐LIFE STAT.
>> Jimmy: REALLY? SO IF SHE'S ‐‐ LET'S SAY SHE'S
ON THE WEST COAST. WILL SHE START AT ‐‐ THEN WHAT,
5:00?
>> YES, SHE WILL ‐‐ LIKE, IS JET LAG THE RIGHT TERM FOR BEER
DRINKING OR WHATEVER?
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHE MOVES IT. SHE MOVES IT WITH THE TIME ZONES.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A DAILY OCCURRENCE?
>> DAILY.
>> Jimmy: DAILY, YEAH, YEAH. AND ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE
FACT THAT SHE'S ON SOCIAL MEDIA? I THINK SHE HAS A LOT OF
FOLLOWERS, A COUPLE HUNDRED THOUSAND.
>> YES ‐‐ YOU KNOW, I WAS ON THE GRAM, YOU KNOW, AND I LOOKED
DOWN, AND MY MOTHER HAD 209,000 INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS.
AND I'M LIKE, HOW IN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH.
>> THEN I STARTED WORRYING ABOUT THE POTENTIAL FALLOUT, YOU KNOW.
BECAUSE ‐‐ BECAUSE THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT SHE'S GOING TO WAKE
UP AND DO.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OBVIOUSLY.
>> WELL, THE SAD PART IS SHE'S IN A SPA WITH ‐‐ I PUT A NEW
BEER OUT. SHE'S IN A SPA WITH BUD LIGHT.
I'M LIKE, MAMA, IF YOU'RE GOING TO POST, AT LEAST HAVE YOUR
SON'S BEER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT, SOME LOYALTIES GO DEEPER THAN BLOOD.
WHEN YOU GET IN A BUD LIGHT, YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE A LIFE OUT OF IT
AND THAT'S THAT, THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHE DID POST SOMETHING THAT I WONDER HOW YOU TOOK IT.
BUT SHE POSTED YOUR REPORT CARD FROM THE THIRD GRADE.
WHAT WAS YOUR THIRD GRADE TEACHER'S NAME?
>> BELINDA CLARK. CAN I SAY THAT?
>> Jimmy: NO, I DON'T KNOW ANY OF MY TEACHERS' FIRST NAMES FROM
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. MRS. CLARK WROTE, LUKE STILL
CRIES WHEN HE THINKS HE MIGHT HAVE HOMEWORK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HEY, I STILL HAVE THE IMPENDING HOMEWORK DREAM.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO?
>> YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU WAKE UP AT NIGHT WITH A LOT OF ANXIETY
THINKING YOU HAVE HOMEWORK.
>> Jimmy: WHEN YOU WERE IN SCHOOL, WERE YOU A STUDENT THAT
WAS THAT CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING ‐‐
>> I REALLY ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAVE THE DREAMS, I REALLY
WASN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S SEE SOME OF YOUR OTHER MARKS HERE.
LUKE IS SO WORRIED ABOUT NOT FINISHING HIS WORK THAT HE WILL
NOT LISTEN WHEN I GIVE THE DIRECTIONS.
WELL, THAT PLAYS INTO THE DREAMS RIGHT THERE.
>> THAT ALL SOUNDS LIKE JUST PNDERING, TO ME.
>> Jimmy: YOU ALSO GOT IN THE CATEGORY OF ART AND MUSIC, YOU
GOT A "SATISFACTORY." WHICH IS ‐‐ YOU KNOW YOU GOT
SOME Gs, G‐PLUSES. YOU'D THINK IN MUSIC YOU WOULD
HAVE EXCELLED.
>> YEAH, I MEAN ‐‐ I THINK THAT'S STILL TRUE TO THIS DAY,
RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW. I ALSO SAW A LOT OF PICTURES ‐‐
>> BASED ON MY GRAMMY NOMINATIONS, I GUESS SHE
PREDICTED IT RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THE "G" WAS FOR, GRAMMYS.
>> OR LACK OF.
>> Jimmy: YOUR MOM POSTS A LOT PICTURES WITH FISH. SHE FISHES.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE A FISHERMAN?
>> YES, I WAS RAISED A FISHERMAN.
>> Jimmy: RAISED A FISHERMAN.
>> VERY SERIOUS.
>> Jimmy: YOU POSTED YOURSELF A VIDEO I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO TAKE
US THROUGH. YOU WENT ON A FISHING TRIP WITH
A FRIEND?
>> SO MY GUITAR TECH, WHO WHEN YOU HAVE A GUITAR TECH, THE
RELATIONSHIP ON THE ROAD ‐‐ I MEAN, HE'S MY GUY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT.
>> I MEAN, WE'RE ‐‐ HE'S RUNNING GUITARS OUT.
I'M LIKE, HOW DO I SOUND? IS THE CROWD INTO IT?
YEAH, BOSS, KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING! WE SWAP GUITARS.
AND RUSS, I'VE ALWAYS PROMISED HIM, HEY, MAN, THE BASS ARE
BITING, THE FISH ARE BITING, COME TO THE HOUSE.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE A LAKE AT YOUR HOUSE?
>> I'VE GOT A LAKE AT MY HOUSE. I STOCKED MY LAKE WITH RAINBOW
TROUT SO THE BASS CAN EAT THE TROUT AND GET BIGGER.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
>> SEE? SCIENCE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SCIENCE, YEAH.
>> ACCIDENTALLY I CAUGHT A TROUT, OKAY? YOU KNOW TROUT.
THEY'RE SLIPPERY.
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> I'VE GOT THE TROUT. I'M TAKING THE HOOK OUT.
AND JUST THE TROUT KICKED, SLIPPED, AND THE HOOKS WENT
RIGHT THROUGH MY HAND. AND, YOU KNOW, THE TROUT'S
JUMPING. I'M LIKE ‐‐ WE GOT A PROBLEM,
RULES.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YEAH, I TOOK TWO HOOKS, ONE TO THE BONE.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU WORRIED AT THIS POINT?
LIKE, OH, BOY, THIS COULD AFFECT MY GUITAR PLAYING?
>> MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS, I'VE RUINED RUSS' FISHING TRIP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH.
>> AND MY LOSING AN EMPLOYEE OVER THIS ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A BARBED HOOK?
>> TWO BARBED HOOKS.
>> Jimmy: OH, BOY. WELL, HERE'S THE VIDEO.
>> WELL, RUSS? MY GUITAR TECH, I INVITED RUSS
ON A FISHING TRIP. LEAVE IT TO ME.
I RUINED THE FISHING TRIP. WE'LL BE BACK ON THE WATER IN
ABOUT 25 MINUTES. DOES THIS VIOLATE ‐‐
>> IT VIOLATES SOMETHING.
>> WE'RE VIOLATING HIPAA SOMEHOW. GOT THE HOOK OUT.
WE'RE BACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE THE BEST THING ABOUT THAT?
EVEN THOUGH YOU HAD TWO HOOKS IN YOUR THUMB, YOU STILL DIDN'T
LESS RUSS DRIVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, HE WAS DRIVING.
>> Jimmy: HE WAS DRIVING?
>> I GUESS THE WAY WE SHOT IT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE IN ENGLAND OR SOMETHING, WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> I KNEW BETTER THAN ‐‐ FIRST OF ALL, PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON TO
SHOOT THE VIDEO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LUKE BRYAN IS WITH US. "AMERICAN IDOL" SUNDAY AND
MONDAY NIGHTS HERE ON ABC. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE ARE BACK WITH LUKE BRYAN.
BETTER GET YOUR VOICE IN SHAPE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIVE ON
"AMERICAN IDOL."
>> THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN A LITTLE ROUGH ON THE BODY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND SO ‐‐ I WENT CYCLING IN L. A. YESTERDAY.
AND I RODE UP A BIG HILL. THEN WHEN YOU GET UP THE HILL
AND YOU LOOK BACK DOWN IN THE VALLEY, AND YOU REALIZE WHAT
YOU'VE BEEN BREATHING IN FOR TWO HOURS?
>> Jimmy: RIGHT, YEAH.
>> AND NOW MY VOICE, I WAS LIKE ‐‐ I JUST PEDALED THROUGH
ALL OF THAT SMOG. BUT ANYWAY.
>> Jimmy: IT MAKES YOU STRONGER, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, ACTUALLY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, YOU HAVE HAD A ROUGH ‐‐ BETWEEN THE TETANUS SHOTS AND
THE SMOG ‐‐
>> TETANUS SHOTS, ANTIBIOTICS.
>> Jimmy: WHEN KATY PERRY WAS HERE IN FEBRUARY, SHE TOLD ME
YOU GAVE HER AS A BABY GIFT FOR HER DAUGHTER DAISY, YOU GAVE HER
A BB GUN.
>> A DAISY BB GUN? WHICH IS A GREAT IDEA.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> IT JUST SEEMED TO BE THE RIGHT GIFT.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK SHE WILL EVER GIVE IT TO HER DAUGHTER?
OR WILL THAT GO RIGHT IN THE GARBAGE?
>> NO, IT WILL GO ‐‐ YES, THAT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. SO ‐‐
>> MAYBE UNDER LOCK AND KEY.
>> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, LIONEL WAS HERE TOO.
YOU GUYS HAVE ALL BEEN HERE. HE WAS HERE LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO.
I ASKED, HAVE YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR OWN SONGS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE DODGED THE QUESTION A LITTLE BIT.
>> NO WAY HE HASN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE SAID HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.
I KNOW, EVEN I HAVE MADE LOVE TO HIS SONGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> EVERYBODY HAS.
>> Jimmy: I GUESS ‐‐ YEAH. WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU IS, DO
YOU THINK LIONEL HAS MADE LOVE TO ONE OF HIS SONGS?
>> 1 MILLION PERCENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT MAY BE A LOW PERCENTAGE.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU MADE HOFF TO ONE OF YOUR SONGS?
>> WELL ‐‐
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST LET ME GET BACK HOME, YOU KNOW.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WHAT SONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE
DOING FOR US LATER ON?
>> "DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DOWN."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S PART OF YOUR ‐‐ THE DELUXE VERSION OF YOUR
ALBUM?
>> YEAH, WE GOT SIX SONGS COMING OUT ON FRIDAY.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY OF THEM ARE ABOUT ALCOHOL?
>> WELL, THERE WAS ONE MARGARITA, SO THAT PRETTY MUCH
SAYS ITSELF.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GOT THAT ONE.
>> THAT'S WHAT GETS US THROUGH THE PANDEMIC.
>> Jimmy: ONE MARGARITA, JUST A SIP, DRINK A BEER, BEER IN THE
HEADLIGHTS, DRINKING BEER AND WASTING BULLETS, YOUR MAMA
SHOULD HAVE NAMED YOUR WHISKEY, YOUNG ON YOUTUBE, DRUNK TO
DRIVE, TAKE MY DRUNK ASS HOME, DRINKING AGAIN, AND HUNG OVER IN
A HOTEL ROOM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL. IT'S THAT "SATISFACTORY" COMING
UP RIGHT THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND THESE SONGS AND WHAT
THIS MIGHT MEAN, WHAT IT MIGHT ADD UP TO.
I THINK I KNOW WHO WE HAVE TO ‐‐
>> JIMMY, A LARGE BODY OF WORK, A LOT OF MUSIC, AND IT'S NOT
FAIR FOR YOU TO JUST SINGLE OUT ALL THE DRINKING SONGS.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, IT'S NOT FAIR. AND YET IF THERE'S ONE PERSON WE
CAN BLAME FOR THIS, IT IS THIS WOMAN.
>> HI. LUKE BRYAN FANS HERE, COME TO
LUKE BRYAN'S MAMA'S SPA PARTY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: DOES YOUR MOTHER COME ON TOUR WITH YOU?
>> SPORADICALLY.
>> Jimmy: HOW DOES THAT GO?
>> YOU KNOW, WE GET HER OUTFITTED IN A BUNK.
GET HER CPAP ON BECAUSE SHE SNORES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, YOU KNOW.
WE GET HER A LITTLE LAWN CHAIR OUT THERE.
SHE SMOKES CIGARETTES AND TELLS EVERYBODY WHAT TO DO THE WHOLE
DAY.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
>> JUST WAITS ON 7:00.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: A VERY GLAMOROUS LIFE. 7:00.
"AMERICAN IDOL," SUNDAYS AND MONDAYS AT 8:00. NOT 7:00.
HERE ON ABC. AND THE DELUXE EDITION OF LUKE'S
ALBUM "BORN HERE, LIVE HERE, DIE HERE" COMES OUT FRIDAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LUKE BRYAN, EVERYBODY. YOU'LL BE BACK WITH US LATER.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KATEY SAGAL!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
>> Jimmy: WELL, HELLO AGAIN. MUSIC FROM LUKE BRYAN IS ON THE
WAY. OUR NEXT GUEST IS A GOLDEN GLOBE‐WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW
FROM "MARRIED WITH CHILDREN," "SONS OF ANARCHY," AND NOW, THE
NEW LEGAL DRAMA "REBEL."
>> I'M ANNIE FLYNN RAY BELLO. HAD TOO MANY HUSBANDS, PICKED UP
TOO MANY NAMES. MOST FOLKS CALL ME REBEL.
>> HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
>> A STOCK LANDED ME AN INVITATION, THEN I SOLD IT.
WE BOTH KNOW WHEN I DO WHAT I DO, IT WILL BE WORTH NEXT TO
NOTHING.
>> HOW DARE YOU? THE AWE DASDY ‐‐
>> THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR MECHANICAL HEART VALVE AND YOU
KNOW IT. I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE
TO DO THE RIGHT THING QUIETLY BEFORE I GET AWFULLY LOUD.
>> GET OUT OR I WILL CALL SECURITY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: "REBEL" PREMIERES 10:00 TOMORROW NIGHT ON ABC.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO KATEY SAGAL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI, KATY, HOW ARE YOU?
>> FINE, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: SORRY I CAN'T SEE YOU IN PERSON.
I FEEL WE SHOULD KNOW EACH OTHER BUT WE DON'T.
>> WE DON'T. WE KIND OF CELEBRITY NOD KNOW
EACH OTHER THAT KIND OF THING.
>> Jimmy: I THINK I INTERVIEWED YOU ONCE, MAYBE ONE OF THE FIRST
THINGS I EVER DID ON TELEVISION, LIKE 25 YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING.
IT WAS LIKE "MARRIED WITH CHILDREN'S" 100th EPISODE.
THEY SENT ME TO THE SET, AND NOBODY REALLY WANTED TO TALK TO
ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THINK WE TALKED BRIEFLY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE DID. AND WE HAD YOUR PARTNER IN
COMMON, BECAUSE HE HAD WORKED AS A CARPENTER AT MY HOUSE.
NOW IT'S ALL.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THIS WAS WAY EVEN BEFORE "THE MAN SHOW."
ADAM CAROLLA WAS A CARPENTER AT YOUR HOUSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU WIND UP SUING HIM OR DID HE FINISH THE JOB?
>> NO, HE WAS FINE. HE DID A GOOD JOB.
HE WAS SUCH A CHILL VIBE TO BE AROUND, TOO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WE DO HAVE A MUTUAL FRIEND.
NORMAN LEAR, THE GREAT PRODUCER NORMAN LEAR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND GREAT AMERICAN, NORMAN LEAR.
>> YES. NORMAN ACTUALLY IS MY GODFATHER.
HE INTRODUCED MY PARENTS. AND I WOULDN'T BE HERE IF IT
WASN'T FOR NORMAN LEAR.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS CRAZY. SO HE ‐‐ HOW DID HE ‐‐ HE KNEW
THEM BOTH INDIVIDUALLY THEN SET THEM UP?
>> HE DID. MY MOTHER WAS WORKING FOR HIM AS
A SCRIPT SUPERVISOR. HE DID THAT SHOW WITH DEAN
MARTIN AND JERRY LEWIS CALLED "THE LUX HOUR," I THINK?
>> Jimmy: OH, YES, EARLY ON.
>> HE WAS DOING THAT. MY MOTHER WAS A THE SCRIPT
SUPERVISOR, MY FATHER WAS DIRECTING IN YIDDISH THEATER.
NORMAN HAD ALSO BEEN INVOLVED WITH THE YIDDISH THEATER.
THEN THE LORE IS HE JUST PUT THEM BOTH TOGETHER, AND VOILA.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU CAME OUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I DID. I WAS ‐‐ YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S CRAZY. YOUR PARENTS BOTH WORKING IN
TELEVISION THEATER, THAT SORT OF STUFF, YOU GREW UP, I ASSUME, ON
SETS? ON THESE DIFFERENT SHOWS?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, ONCE I GOT TO MIDDLE
SCHOOL AND FOUND OUT THAT, YOU KNOW, NOBODY LIKED ME AND I WAS
SUCH A QUIET, SHY CHILD, IF I TOOK THEM TO THE SET, MY DAD
DIRECTED "MAN FROM U. N. C. L. E.," "TRY LIGHT ZONE."
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> I'D SAY TO KIDS, HEY, MAN ‐‐ I DIDN'T SAY HEY, MAN.
I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO MEET RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN?
ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS POPULAR. SO I DECIDED ‐‐
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> I'D GO TO THE SET ‐‐ YEAH, I HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS THEN.
>> Jimmy: YOU PLAYED THE RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN CARD.
RARELY DOES A CHILD DO WHAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DID.
>> Jimmy: "HEY, DO YOU KIDS LIKE THORNBIRDS?"
SO YOU WENT TO CAL ARTS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE FAMOUS ART SCHOOL, THEATER SCHOOL.
I GUESS THEY'RE ALL INTERTWINED. AND THIS I HAD NO IDEA.
AND I FELT LIKE I KNEW A PRETTY GOOD BIT ABOUT YOU.
BUT I DID NOT KNOW THIS. YOU WERE KIND ENOUGH TO SHARE A
PICTURE WITH US. THIS PHOTOGRAPH, TELL US WHO IS
IN ‐‐ THESE ARE YOUR COLLEGE CLASSMATES.
WHO IS THAT IN YOUR GROUP?
>> YES, THIS IS ‐‐ WELL, THAT'S HAIR AND GLASSES, THAT'S PAUL
RUBINS. THE BIG, TALL, HANDSOME MAN IS
DAVID HASSELHOFF. WE WERE ALL IN THE SAME LITTLE
THEATER GROUP. PAUL WAS MY SORT OF SOLACE.
I NEVER WANTED TO GO TO DRAMA SCHOOL, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE AN
ACTOR, I WAS A MUSICIAN, I WANTED TO DO THAT.
MY FATHER WAS LIKE, NO, YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE.
IF YOU WANT TO GO TO THAT COLLEGE, YOU HAVE TO BE IN THE
THEATER SKILL. SO I WENT THERE. AND I STAYED ABOUT SIX MONTHS.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> PAUL AND I HAVE REMAINED FRIENDS. HE TOLD ME TO SAY HI.
HE JUST TEXTED ME THE PICTURE. I SAID, PAUL, I'M DOING JIMMY,
THEY WANT TO KNOW ‐‐ HE SENT ME THAT PICTURE, AND MADE SURE TO
SAY HI TO YOU. HE'S THE BEST.
>> Jimmy: HE'S GOT A HEAVY JOHN LENNON VIBE GOING ON IN COLLEGE,
HUH?
>> TOTALLY. HIS DORM ROOM WAS LIKE "PEE
WEE'S PLAYHOUSE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH A DECORATED DORM ROOM.
EVERYBODY ELSE WAS LIKE POST US WITH SCOTCH TAPE.
AND YOU'D GO TO HIS ROOM, IT WAS CRAZY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT HASSELHOFF? WAS HE IN A BATHING SUIT A LOT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
SWIMMING FREQUENTLY?
>> NO, HE WAS THIS NAIVE, VERY SHY GUY FROM WHEREVER HE'S FROM.
THE MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY. NO SPEEDOS.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU GET TOGETHER? DO YOU HAVE REUNIONS OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT? TOGETHER ABOUT TWO MONTHS AGO ON
ZOOM. I HAD NOT SEEN THESE PEOPLE IN
45 YEARS OR SOMETHING RIDICULOUS.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> AND PAUL LITERALLY GOT US ALL TOGETHER.
PAUL'S LIKE A HISTORIAN. HE JUST KEEPS IN TOUCH WITH
EVERYBODY. HE HAS MEMORABILIA ABOUT
EVERYBODY. HE'S AWESOME LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> SO WE DID, WE ALL JUST SAW EACH OTHER.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY FANTASTIC.
"MARRIED WITH CHILDREN" WAS LIKE THE FIRST HIT FOR FOX, RIGHT?
IT REALLY BUILT THE FOX ‐‐ REALLY, YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR
SEAN HANNITY IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH MY GOSH, PLEASE.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT AN ACCURATE ASSESSMENT?
>> OH MY GOD. GEEZ. NO, THANK YOU. BUT YES.
WHEN I GOT TO THE FOX NETWORK, IT WASN'T REALLY A NETWORK YET.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> IT WAS, YOU KNOW ‐‐ YOU HAD TO HAVE RABBIT EARS ON YOUR TV.
THIS WAS WHEN THERE WERE ONLY THREE NETWORKS, THEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN THERE WERE FOUR. SORT OF. LIKE 3 1/2.
>> Jimmy: THEY KIND OF DIPPED THEIR TOE IN THE WATER?
A SHORT PRIMETIME, THERE WEREN'T pVERY MANY SHOWS.
GARRY SHANDLING HAD A SHOW THAT I LOVED AT THAT TIME.
"THE SIMPSONS" CAME OUT, "THE TRACEY ULLMAN SHOW."
WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD A BIG HIT?
THAT SHOW WAS A BIG HIT.
>> YEAH. UNBEKNOWNST TO US ‐‐ I THINK THE
FIRST TIME WE KNEW IS WHEN THEY BOUGHT ME A WIG.
BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST THREE YEARS I WOULD JUST DO MY OWN
HAIR. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY
STARTED DISHING OUT MONEY. LIKE WIGS ARE NOT CHEAP.
GOT ME A WIG. I'LL NEVER FORGET, ED AND I WENT
ON A PROMO TOUR. AND THEY ‐‐ WE WENT INTO SOME
PARADE. AND THERE WE ARE, DRESSED AS PEG
AND AL. I MEAN, IT WAS.
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW, REALLY?
>> THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE THERE.
AND ED AND I, I MEAN, WE THOUGHT NOBODY WAS GOING TO REALLY WATCH
IT BECAUSE IT WAS SO IRREVERENT, IT WAS SO NOT LIKE ANYTHING ELSE
ON TV. WHICH IS WHY I THOUGHT I GOT THE
JOB, BECAUSE I WASN'T LIKE ANYTHING ELSE ON TV.
AND YEAH, IT REALLY TOOK OFF. OF COURSE, FOX PLAYED IT THREE
TIMES A NIGHT.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> RIGHT IN A ROW. IT WAS LIKE ‐‐ YOU COULDN'T MISS
IT.
>> Jimmy: YOUR NEW SHOW "REBEL," WHICH IS AN ABC PROGRAM, IS
BASED LOOSELY ON ERIN BROCKOVICH, ON HER LIFE AND HER
WORK.
>> RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: HOW LOOSELY IS IT BASED ON HER? VERY LOOSELY?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S INSPIRED BY.
I'M NOT PLAYING ERIN BROCKOVICH. I'M PLAYING A CONSUMER ADVOCATE
WHO FIGHTS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE AT ANY COST.
AND SORT OF A LOUD AND RUDE KIND OF WAY.
SO IN THOSE ‐‐ SO IT'S LOOSELY BASED.
AND WE HAVE ‐‐ SHE HAS A FAMILY LIFE THAT IS SORT OF LOOSELY
BASED ON HER FAMILY LIFE. BUT NO, IT'S NOT ‐‐ IT'S BROAD
STROKES. BUT IT'S DEFINITELY INSPIRED BY
ERIN BROCKOVICH, WHO'S AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: "REBEL" PREMIERES TOMORROW NIGHT, 10:00 ON ABC.
KATEY SAGAL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, KATEY. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LUKE
BRYAN!
>> Dicky: THE JLK LIVE CONCERT SERIES IS PRESENTED BY
MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS THE DELUXE EDITION OF HIS NUMBER ONE ALBUM
"BORN HERE LIVE HERE DIE HERE" COMING OUT FRIDAY.
WITH THE SONG "DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DOWN." LUKE BRYAN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
♪ I'M BACK TAKING THE LONG
WAY WHEN I GO HOME AT NIGHT AND YOUR MEMORY ♪
♪ DON'T DANCE DOWN THE WHOLE
WAY WHEN I FLIP ON THE LIGHT I'M BACK SPENDING ♪
♪ TIME WITH MY BUDDIES
A LITTLE RANDY AIN'T NEVER HURT NOBODY
YEAH I'VE COME A LONG WAY ♪
♪ GETTING OVER US
BUT NOW AND THEN WHEN YOUR NAME COMES UP
I DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY ♪
♪ DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN WHEN THE WONDERING IF YOU MISS ME ♪
♪ MISSING YOU COMES AROUND
YEAH IT DON'T HAPPEN LIKE IT USED TO HAPPEN
BUT WHEN IT DOES ♪
♪ I TWIST OFF THE CAP
AND I DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DRINK A LITTLE ♪
♪ WHISKEY DOWN
NO MORE 2:00 A. M. PHONE CALLS TO ACT
LIKE I'M CHECKING IN ♪
♪ NO MORE RUNNING THE OTHER
WAY WHEN I RUN INTO YOUR FRIENDS
I DON'T NEED YOUR TOUCH ♪
♪ I DON'T NEED YOUR SMILE
EXCEPT FOR EVERY LITTLE ONCE IN AWHILE
AND DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY ♪
♪ DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN WHEN THE WONDERING IF YOU MISS ME ♪
♪ MISSING YOU COMES AROUND
YEAH IT DON'T HAPPEN LIKE IT USED TO HAPPEN
BUT WHEN IT DOES ♪
♪ I TWIST OFF THE CAP
AND I DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DRINK A LITTLE ♪
♪ WHISKEY DOWN
DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DOWN
YEAH JUST ENOUGH ♪
♪ TO GET YOU GONE
GRAB A GLASS AND POUR ONE STRONG AND DRINK A ♪
♪ LITTLE WHISKEY
DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DOWN WHEN THE WONDERING ♪
♪ IF YOU MISS ME
MISSING YOU COMES AROUND YEAH IT DON'T HAPPEN
LIKE IT USED TO HAPPEN ♪
♪ BUT WHEN IT DOES
I TWIST OFF THE CAP AND I DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY ♪
♪ DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN ♪
♪ DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN
DRINK A LITTLE WHISKEY DOWN ♪
♪ DRINK A LITTLE
WHISKEY DOWN ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS
PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO LUKE BRYAN, KATEY SAGAL, AND THE MIZ.
APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. TOMORROW NIGHT ‐‐ MARK WAHLBERG
AND HUNTER BIDEN, WITH MUSIC FROM THE WALLFLOWERS.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. THANKS FOR WATCHING.
WE DID IT AGAIN. WHAT A TEAM.