1 00:00:00,176 --> 00:00:02,445 >> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S 2 00:00:02,445 --> 00:00:04,514 "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" 3 00:00:04,514 --> 00:00:06,816 TONIGHT, JOHN STAMOS. 4 00:00:06,816 --> 00:00:09,019 L.A. LAKER RUSSELL WESTBROOK. 5 00:00:09,019 --> 00:00:11,187 AND MUSIC FROM ALICE MERTON. 6 00:00:11,187 --> 00:00:16,626 AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL! 7 00:00:16,626 --> 00:00:22,132 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 8 00:00:22,132 --> 00:00:27,370 VERY NICE OF YOU. 9 00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:32,876 I'M JIMMY. 10 00:00:32,876 --> 00:00:34,945 I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. 11 00:00:34,945 --> 00:00:36,146 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 12 00:00:36,146 --> 00:00:36,746 THANK YOU FOR MASKING UP AND 13 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:37,480 SPREADING OUT TO BE HERE IN OUR 14 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:37,948 STUDIO. 15 00:00:37,948 --> 00:00:40,850 IN HOLLYWOOD. 16 00:00:40,850 --> 00:00:44,054 IN CALIFORNIA, WHICH, ACCORDING 17 00:00:44,054 --> 00:00:44,654 TO OUR GOVERNOR, WILL BE THE 18 00:00:44,654 --> 00:00:47,457 FIRST STATE TO MANDATE COVID 19 00:00:47,457 --> 00:00:48,091 VACCINATION FOR ALL STUDENTS WHO 20 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:51,361 GO TO SCHOOL IN‐PERSON. 21 00:00:51,361 --> 00:00:52,429 WHICH IS SOMETHING ‐‐ WELL, NOT 22 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,129 EVERYONE IS HAPPY ABOUT. 23 00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:54,831 ANGRY PARENTS HAVE BEEN 24 00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,066 PROTESTING OUTSIDE LOCAL SCHOOL 25 00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:57,968 BOARD MEETINGS. 26 00:00:57,968 --> 00:01:00,837 YOU CAN SEE THEY MADE SIGNS. 27 00:01:00,837 --> 00:01:02,405 THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS. 28 00:01:02,405 --> 00:01:02,973 I WON'T CO‐PARENT WITH THE 29 00:01:02,973 --> 00:01:03,273 GOVERNMENT. 30 00:01:03,273 --> 00:01:03,873 THEY DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF 31 00:01:03,873 --> 00:01:04,641 REQUIRING KIDS TO GET 32 00:01:04,641 --> 00:01:06,810 VACCINATIONS TO GO TO SCHOOL. 33 00:01:06,810 --> 00:01:08,044 EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN REQUIRING 34 00:01:08,044 --> 00:01:09,212 KIDS TO GET VACCINATIONS TO GO 35 00:01:09,212 --> 00:01:10,981 TO SCHOOL FOR 150 YEARS. 36 00:01:10,981 --> 00:01:17,387 SERIOUSLY. 37 00:01:17,387 --> 00:01:19,322 DID YOU KNOW THIS? 38 00:01:19,322 --> 00:01:22,025 >> NO, JIMMY. 39 00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:22,859 I DIDN'T KNOW. 40 00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:24,861 >> Jimmy: IN THE 1850s, THE 41 00:01:24,861 --> 00:01:27,897 STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS REQUIRED 42 00:01:27,897 --> 00:01:30,533 VACCINATION AGAINST SMALLPOX, 43 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:33,003 WHICH IS A DISEASE WE DON'T HAVE 44 00:01:33,003 --> 00:01:33,637 ANY LONGER BECAUSE THERE IS A 45 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:34,838 VACCINE. 46 00:01:34,838 --> 00:01:35,138 BOTTOM LINE. 47 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,272 GET YOUR KIDS VACCINATED. 48 00:01:36,272 --> 00:01:36,906 OR YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE WITH 49 00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,108 THEM ALL DAY. 50 00:01:38,108 --> 00:01:40,176 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HOME 51 00:01:40,176 --> 00:01:40,410 SCHOOL. 52 00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:41,244 AND IF YOU'RE NOT BRIGHT ENOUGH 53 00:01:41,244 --> 00:01:43,813 TO UNDERSTAND THAT VACCINATIONS 54 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,949 ARE SAFE, I'M GOING TO SAY 55 00:01:45,949 --> 00:01:47,717 YOU'RE NOT BRIGHT ENOUGH TO 56 00:01:47,717 --> 00:01:49,252 TEACH THEM GEOMETRY EITHER. 57 00:01:49,252 --> 00:01:50,053 SO IT'S SOMETHING TO THINK 58 00:01:50,053 --> 00:01:51,621 ABOUT. 59 00:01:51,621 --> 00:01:53,657 ON SATURDAY, THE CDC ISSUED 60 00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,959 GUIDELINES FOR THE HOLIDAYS. 61 00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:56,926 THEY STILL RECOMMEND HOLDING 62 00:01:56,926 --> 00:02:00,296 GATHERINGS OUTSIDE IF YOU CAN. 63 00:02:00,296 --> 00:02:00,797 WHICH WOULD BE GREAT ON 64 00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:02,165 CHRISTMAS. 65 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,466 BUT IF YOU MUST DO IT INDOORS, 66 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:04,834 THEY SAY YOU SHOULD OPEN A 67 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:08,071 WINDOW AND USE A FAN TO KEEP THE 68 00:02:08,071 --> 00:02:08,838 AIR FLOWING. 69 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:10,640 NOT ONLY DO WINDOW FANS PREVENT 70 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,475 THE VIRUS FROM ACCUMULATING, 71 00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:13,677 THEY ALSO HELP HIDE THE SCENT OF 72 00:02:13,677 --> 00:02:16,813 ALL THE WEED YOU'LL BE SMOKING 73 00:02:16,813 --> 00:02:17,447 TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY OF HAVING 74 00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:18,048 THE HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR FAMILY 75 00:02:18,048 --> 00:02:19,482 AGAIN. 76 00:02:19,482 --> 00:02:21,051 I GUESS IT'S A GOOD SIGN THAT WE 77 00:02:21,051 --> 00:02:22,886 WENT FROM THE CDC TELLING US "BY 78 00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:24,854 NO MEANS SHOULD YOU TRAVEL FOR 79 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:27,257 HOLIDAYS" TO "TURN ON A FAN." 80 00:02:27,257 --> 00:02:28,358 MY CONCERN IS THAT WE'RE GOING 81 00:02:28,358 --> 00:02:29,059 TO FIND OUT SANTA IS AN 82 00:02:29,059 --> 00:02:30,894 ANTI‐VAXXER. 83 00:02:30,894 --> 00:02:31,761 HE IS AN OLD WHITE GUY IN A RED 84 00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:34,431 HAT. 85 00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:38,968 DON'T BE SURPRISED. 86 00:02:38,968 --> 00:02:40,303 ALL DONALD TRUMP WANTS FOR 87 00:02:40,303 --> 00:02:43,239 CHRISTMAS IS TO GET BACK ON 88 00:02:43,239 --> 00:02:43,473 TWITTER. 89 00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:44,874 HE IS SO ‐‐ 90 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:45,508 TRUMP'S LAWYERS ARE SEEKING TO 91 00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:46,910 OVERTURN HIS TWITTER BAN. 92 00:02:46,910 --> 00:02:48,111 THEY'RE ASKING A FEDERAL JUDGE 93 00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:49,579 TO RESTORE HIS ACCOUNT. 94 00:02:49,579 --> 00:02:50,547 AT LEAST WHILE HIS LAWSUIT 95 00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:52,115 AGAINST TWITTER PLAYS OUT. 96 00:02:52,115 --> 00:02:56,052 TEAM TRUMP ARGUED IN COURT 97 00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:56,553 DOCUMENTS THAT TWITTER 98 00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:59,756 "EXERCISES A DEGREE OF POWER AND 99 00:02:59,756 --> 00:03:00,390 CONTROL OVER POLITICAL DISCOURSE 100 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,591 IN THIS COUNTRY THAT IS 101 00:03:01,591 --> 00:03:03,026 IMMEASURABLE, HISTORICALLY 102 00:03:03,026 --> 00:03:04,861 UNPRECEDENTED, AND PROFOUNDLY 103 00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:05,595 DANGEROUS TO OPEN DEMOCRATIC 104 00:03:05,595 --> 00:03:08,098 DEBATE." 105 00:03:08,098 --> 00:03:08,865 ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT TWITTER 106 00:03:08,865 --> 00:03:12,869 OR TRUMP? 107 00:03:12,869 --> 00:03:13,536 HIS TWEETS WERE LIKE IF FORTUNE 108 00:03:13,536 --> 00:03:14,137 COOKIES HAD DEATH THREATS IN 109 00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:16,873 THEM. 110 00:03:16,873 --> 00:03:17,507 TRUMP IS APPARENTLY UPSET THAT 111 00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:18,141 THE TALIBAN IS ALLOWED TO HAVE 112 00:03:18,141 --> 00:03:20,110 AN ACCOUNT BUT HE IS NOT. 113 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:20,310 RIGHT. 114 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:21,845 EXACTLY. 115 00:03:21,845 --> 00:03:22,946 THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN 116 00:03:22,946 --> 00:03:25,148 DETERMINED TO BE MORE DANGEROUS 117 00:03:25,148 --> 00:03:26,116 THAN THE TALIBAN IS KIND OF ALL 118 00:03:26,116 --> 00:03:28,284 YOU NEED TO KNOW. 119 00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:31,187 BUT TRUMP WASN'T THE ONLY ONE 120 00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:31,821 LOCKED OUT OF HIS SOCIAL MEDIA 121 00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:33,189 ACCOUNTS TODAY. 122 00:03:33,189 --> 00:03:36,860 ALL OF US WERE. 123 00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,094 FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, AND 124 00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:40,864 WHATSAPP WERE ALL DOWN FOR 125 00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:41,231 HOURS. 126 00:03:41,231 --> 00:03:42,665 HOW MANY OF YOU FRIED TO GET ON 127 00:03:42,665 --> 00:03:44,200 AND DIDN'T GET ON OVER AND OVER 128 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:44,501 AGAIN TODAY? 129 00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:47,437 STOP DOING THAT. 130 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:48,872 NOT EVEN 12 HOURS AFTER THE 131 00:03:48,872 --> 00:03:49,506 HASHTAG DELETEFACEBOOK STARTED 132 00:03:49,506 --> 00:03:50,140 TRENDING ON TWITTER AFTER THAT 133 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,675 "60 MINUTES" STORY LAST NIGHT, 134 00:03:52,675 --> 00:03:57,781 FACEBOOK SEEMED TO HAVE DELETED 135 00:03:57,781 --> 00:03:58,081 THEMSELVES. 136 00:03:58,081 --> 00:03:58,648 WE ARE LEARNING MORE ABOUT 137 00:03:58,648 --> 00:04:00,350 FACEBOOK AND WHAT GOES ON INSIDE 138 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,484 THE COMPANY FROM A WHISTLEBLOWER 139 00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:02,118 WHO SPOKE TO "60 MINUTES" LAST 140 00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:02,952 NIGHT. 141 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:10,727 A WOMAN WHO WORKED IN FACEBOOK'S 142 00:04:10,727 --> 00:04:11,394 CIVIC INTEGRITY UNIT SAID THAT 143 00:04:11,394 --> 00:04:12,028 WHILE NO ONE AT THE COMPANY IS 144 00:04:12,028 --> 00:04:13,797 "MALEVOLENT" OR INTENTIONALLY 145 00:04:13,797 --> 00:04:15,598 TRYING TO SPREAD HATE, THE 146 00:04:15,598 --> 00:04:17,934 COMPANY IS WELL AWARE THAT "THE 147 00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:20,003 VERSION OF FACEBOOK THAT EXISTS 148 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:20,637 TODAY IS TEARING OUR SOCIETIES 149 00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:24,874 APART AND CAUSING ETHNIC 150 00:04:24,874 --> 00:04:25,575 VIOLENCE AROUND THE WORLD." 151 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:26,676 WHICH IS IMPORTANT TO HEAR, BUT 152 00:04:26,676 --> 00:04:30,513 HOW IS THIS A SURPRISE? 153 00:04:30,513 --> 00:04:32,048 IT WAS FOUNDED BY THREE FRIENDS 154 00:04:32,048 --> 00:04:32,882 WHO IMMEDIATELY TURNED ON AND 155 00:04:32,882 --> 00:04:36,352 NEVER SPOKE TO EACH OTHER AGAIN. 156 00:04:36,352 --> 00:04:37,220 THE FIRST THREE PEOPLE WHO 157 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:37,821 THOUGHT OF FACEBOOK NOW HATE 158 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:39,756 EACH OTHER. 159 00:04:39,756 --> 00:04:42,325 BEFORE FACEBOOK, I HAD NO 160 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,093 PROBLEMS WITH ANY OF MY AUNTS OR 161 00:04:44,093 --> 00:04:45,094 UNCLES. 162 00:04:45,094 --> 00:04:45,695 IT WAS ALL BIRTHDAY CHECKS IN 163 00:04:45,695 --> 00:04:46,496 THE MAIL. 164 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:47,697 YOU KNOW, SOCIAL MEDIA WASN'T 165 00:04:47,697 --> 00:04:48,097 ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 166 00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:48,698 THERE WAS A TIME WHEN WE HAD 167 00:04:48,698 --> 00:04:50,099 SOMETHING CALLED ‐‐ 168 00:04:50,099 --> 00:04:52,869 MYSPACE. 169 00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:56,272 REMEMBER THAT? 170 00:04:56,272 --> 00:04:57,607 MYSPACE WAS A SPECIAL PLACE. 171 00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:58,575 EVERYONE HAD THEIR OWN PAGE. 172 00:04:58,575 --> 00:04:59,309 THEIR OWN SPACE, IF YOU WILL. 173 00:04:59,309 --> 00:04:59,809 DO YOU HEAR THAT? 174 00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:03,680 THAT'S MUSIC. 175 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,849 EVERY PAGE HAD MUSIC BECAUSE 176 00:05:05,849 --> 00:05:08,084 THEY WERE CUSTOMIZABLE. 177 00:05:08,084 --> 00:05:09,152 IT WAS LIKE YOUR OWN PRIVATE 178 00:05:09,152 --> 00:05:09,986 SISQO CONCERT EVERY TIME YOU 179 00:05:09,986 --> 00:05:12,288 CHECKED IN ON TILA TEQUILA. 180 00:05:12,288 --> 00:05:12,889 AND YOU ALWAYS HAD ONE PERSON 181 00:05:12,889 --> 00:05:16,326 YOU COULD DEPEND ON. 182 00:05:16,326 --> 00:05:16,659 NO, NOT HER. 183 00:05:16,659 --> 00:05:16,960 NO, NOT HIM. 184 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,528 I MEAN YES HIM, BUT SOMEONE 185 00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:19,262 ELSE. 186 00:05:19,262 --> 00:05:19,629 THAT'S THE GUY. 187 00:05:19,629 --> 00:05:21,364 TOM. 188 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:24,868 GOOD OLD TOM. 189 00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:29,539 HE'S DEAD NOW. 190 00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:31,541 NO, TOM ICE ALIVE. 191 00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:32,175 AND THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE 192 00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:33,009 TODAY. 193 00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:35,144 HE TURNED OUT TO BE A WINNER 194 00:05:35,144 --> 00:05:38,081 AFTER ALL. 195 00:05:38,081 --> 00:05:40,850 TOM BRADY HAD A HECKUVA 196 00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:43,653 HOMECOMING IN BOSTON LAST NIGHT. 197 00:05:43,653 --> 00:05:44,220 ABOUT 29 MILLION AMERICANS 198 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:47,290 WATCHED TOM BRADY RETURN TO PLAY 199 00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:47,891 THE TEAM THAT CAST HIM ASIDE. 200 00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:48,524 IT WAS THE SECOND MOST‐WATCHED 201 00:05:48,524 --> 00:05:50,193 SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL GAME EVER. 202 00:05:50,193 --> 00:05:52,896 BRADY AND THE BUCS MANAGED TO 203 00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:55,465 WIN IT THANKS TO A MISSED FIELD 204 00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:56,099 GOAL THAT BOUNCED OFF THE POST 205 00:05:56,099 --> 00:05:58,601 IN THE FINAL MINUTE. 206 00:05:58,601 --> 00:05:59,702 DESPITE A WARM OVATION FROM THE 207 00:05:59,702 --> 00:06:00,303 FANS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE 208 00:06:00,303 --> 00:06:01,037 GAME, BRADY WAS BOOED OFTEN 209 00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:04,574 THROUGHOUT. 210 00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:05,208 AFTER THE GAME, THEY ASKED HIM 211 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:08,778 HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE BOOS. 212 00:06:08,778 --> 00:06:10,346 HE SAID HE COULDN'T HEAR THEM. 213 00:06:10,346 --> 00:06:10,980 BECAUSE HE HAD THREE SUPER BOWL 214 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:12,849 RINGS IN EACH EAR. 215 00:06:12,849 --> 00:06:13,549 AND EVEN THOUGH TOM WAS CLEARLY 216 00:06:13,549 --> 00:06:15,084 THE FOCUS, HE DID GET A RUN FOR 217 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,853 HIS MONEY FROM THE PATRIOTS 218 00:06:16,853 --> 00:06:17,754 LNEBACKERS COACH, 219 00:06:17,754 --> 00:06:19,088 STEVE BELICHICK, SON OF BILL, 220 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,391 WHO WAS VERY EXPRESSIVE ON THE 221 00:06:21,391 --> 00:06:27,864 SIDELINES LAST NIGHT. 222 00:06:27,864 --> 00:06:29,565 >> SO NOW WE'RE STARTING TO GET 223 00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:31,768 INTO SOME OF THOSE MOMENTS, 224 00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:32,068 RIGHT? 225 00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:34,037 THESE ARE THOSE TOM BRADY 226 00:06:34,037 --> 00:06:34,270 MOMENTS. 227 00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:34,904 >> Jimmy: THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE 228 00:06:34,904 --> 00:06:35,705 A TOM BRADY MOMENT TO ME. 229 00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:39,542 LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE BELICHECK 230 00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:40,109 BOY MIGHT NEED AN EXORCIST. 231 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:40,777 I'M SURPRISED HIS HEAD DIDN'T 232 00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:43,813 SPIN AROUND. 233 00:06:43,813 --> 00:06:44,447 BUT THE MAIN STORYLINE WAS BRADY 234 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:44,914 VERSUS HIS OLD COACH, 235 00:06:44,914 --> 00:06:45,481 BILL BELICHICK. 236 00:06:45,481 --> 00:06:49,819 IT WAS THE SPORTS EQUIVALENT OF 237 00:06:49,819 --> 00:06:50,453 WATCHING A KID FIGHT HIS DAD ON 238 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:50,620 TV. 239 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,689 YOU KNOW I SAW THIS ONLINE. 240 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:52,989 THIS PHOTO. 241 00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:55,224 WHICH WOULD APPEAR TO BE A 242 00:06:55,224 --> 00:06:57,427 PASSIONATE EMBRACE. 243 00:06:57,427 --> 00:07:00,129 BUT THIS IS WHAT ACTUALLY 244 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:00,463 HAPPENED. 245 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,097 THEY HUGGED FOR LESS THAN HALF A 246 00:07:01,097 --> 00:07:03,399 SECOND. 247 00:07:03,399 --> 00:07:03,967 IT'S LIKE THE HUG YOU GIVE 248 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,637 SOMEONE WHO SMELLS. 249 00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:08,204 THE PATRIOTS MADE A MISTAKE 250 00:07:08,204 --> 00:07:08,838 LETTING TOM BRADY GO TO FLORIDA. 251 00:07:08,838 --> 00:07:12,342 AND THE FANS KNOW IT. 252 00:07:12,342 --> 00:07:13,776 THIS IS A GUY WHO IS BELOVED IN 253 00:07:13,776 --> 00:07:14,477 NEW ENGLAND. 254 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,045 FROM THE YEARS 2002 TO 2019, IN 255 00:07:16,045 --> 00:07:18,114 THE SIX STATES THAT MAKE UP 256 00:07:18,114 --> 00:07:18,982 NEW ENGLAND, THOUSANDS OF BABY 257 00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:19,949 BOYS AND EVEN GIRLS WERE 258 00:07:19,949 --> 00:07:21,517 NAMED BRADY. 259 00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,219 EVEN WITH LARRY BIRD, WHO IS AS 260 00:07:23,219 --> 00:07:24,320 BELOVED IN BOSTON AS ANYONE, YOU 261 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,055 DIDN'T SEE A BIG SPIKE IN THE 262 00:07:26,055 --> 00:07:31,728 NUMBER OF LARRYS. 263 00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:32,395 YOU DIDN'T MEET ANY GIRLS NAMED 264 00:07:32,395 --> 00:07:32,862 LARRY, OKAY? 265 00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:33,596 SO, WITH TOM RETURNING FOR THE 266 00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:35,431 FIRST TIME, IT WAS AN EMOTIONAL 267 00:07:35,431 --> 00:07:36,899 NIGHT FOR BOSTON SPORTS FANS. 268 00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:38,101 AND SO TONIGHT, I THOUGHT WE 269 00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:39,669 SHOULD CHECK IN WITH THE MOST 270 00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:43,172 EMOTIONAL OF THEM ALL. 271 00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,040 A CHILD WHO WAS NAMED TWICE 272 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:44,674 AFTER THE GREATEST QUARTERBACK 273 00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:47,243 OF ALL‐TIME. 274 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:49,012 FROM SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS, 275 00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:50,847 LET'S SAY HELLO TO 2‐YEAR‐OLD‐ 276 00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:53,883 TOMMY BRADY FITZPATRICK. 277 00:07:53,883 --> 00:07:54,517 HI, TOMMY, HOW ARE YOU HOLDING 278 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,085 UP? 279 00:07:56,085 --> 00:07:59,222 >> WHO THE HELL IS THAT? 280 00:07:59,222 --> 00:07:59,722 >> Jimmy: JIMMY KIMMEL. 281 00:07:59,722 --> 00:08:03,559 >> OH FOR PETE'S SAKE, KIMBLE. 282 00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:06,496 IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH YOU RUINED 283 00:08:06,496 --> 00:08:08,664 "PAW PATROL" FOR ME, NOW YOU'RE 284 00:08:08,664 --> 00:08:09,098 RUINING MY NAP TIME. 285 00:08:09,098 --> 00:08:10,033 GREAT! 286 00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:10,666 I'M TRYIN' TO SLEEP ONE OFF OVER 287 00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:12,668 HERE, YOU FRUIT BAT! 288 00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:13,302 >> Jimmy: I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. 289 00:08:13,302 --> 00:08:13,870 I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THE 290 00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:16,873 BUCCANEERS BEATING THE PATRIOTS 291 00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:18,408 LAST NIGHT. 292 00:08:18,408 --> 00:08:19,042 I WOULD IMAGINE THAT HAD TO BE 293 00:08:19,042 --> 00:08:19,375 HARD FOR YOU. 294 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:19,909 >> HARD? 295 00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:22,078 THAT HAD TO BE HARD YOU SAY? 296 00:08:22,078 --> 00:08:23,746 IT WAS A FRIGGIN' ROLLERCOASTER! 297 00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:25,348 I WENT THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF 298 00:08:25,348 --> 00:08:28,017 GRIEF! 299 00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:30,453 FIRST ONE BEIN' DENIAL. 300 00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:35,992 "THERE'S NO WAY THAT TRAITOR 301 00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:40,463 WILL SHOW HIS FACE IN FOXBOROUGH 302 00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:40,763 EVER AGAIN! 303 00:08:40,763 --> 00:08:42,031 THEN CAME STAGE TWO, ANGER. 304 00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:42,899 [ BLEEP ] YOU TOMMY! 305 00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:43,533 HOW DARE YOU COME BACK HERE WITH 306 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,402 A FLORIDA PIRATE ON YOUR HELMET. 307 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:47,036 LIKE SOME KIND OF SWASHBUCKLIN' 308 00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:48,871 BONER EATER! 309 00:08:48,871 --> 00:08:50,106 GO PATS! 310 00:08:50,106 --> 00:08:52,008 PATS FOREVER! 311 00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:52,875 I HOPE WE SNAP YOUR [ BLEEP ] 312 00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:54,277 SPINE! 313 00:08:54,277 --> 00:08:55,244 >> Jimmy: THAT SEEMS A LITTLE 314 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:58,181 HARSH FOR YOUR HERO. 315 00:08:58,181 --> 00:09:01,350 YOU'RE NAMED AFTER HIM. 316 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:02,585 >> FAIR POINT. 317 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,619 IT WAS A LITTLE OUT OF HAND. 318 00:09:03,619 --> 00:09:04,821 AND THAT'S WHERE THE NEXT STAGE 319 00:09:04,821 --> 00:09:05,054 CAME IN. 320 00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:07,390 BARGAINING. 321 00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:08,958 "PLEASE GOD, LET TOUCHDOWN TOMMY 322 00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:14,130 HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART, AND 323 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:16,799 SWITCH TO A PATS JERSEY 324 00:09:16,799 --> 00:09:18,534 HALFTIME LIKE HE'S M. NIGHT 325 00:09:18,534 --> 00:09:18,968 FRIGGIN' SHYAMALAN!" 326 00:09:18,968 --> 00:09:19,869 >> Jimmy: THAT SEEMS OPTIMISTIC. 327 00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:20,503 IT'S UNLIKELY THAT HE'D CHANGE 328 00:09:20,503 --> 00:09:23,506 JERSEYS DURING THE GAME. 329 00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:23,973 SEEMS UNLIKELY TO ME. 330 00:09:23,973 --> 00:09:24,507 >> YEAH NO DOY, YOU DONG 331 00:09:24,507 --> 00:09:25,608 KNOCKER. 332 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:26,709 THERE'S A BETTER CHANCE OF ME 333 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:28,244 FINDING THE WINNING POWERBALL 334 00:09:28,244 --> 00:09:30,913 TICKET IN MY DIAPER. 335 00:09:30,913 --> 00:09:31,481 SO THAT'S WHERE STAGE FOUR 336 00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:33,816 KICKED IN. 337 00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:35,885 DRINKING. 338 00:09:35,885 --> 00:09:36,385 >> Jimmy: WAIT. 339 00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:38,087 I THINK STAGE FOUR IS 340 00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:39,956 DEPRESSION. 341 00:09:39,956 --> 00:09:40,857 NOT DRINKING. 342 00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:41,724 >> OH I'M SORRY. 343 00:09:41,724 --> 00:09:42,658 ARE YOU A PSYCHO‐CHIATRIST NOW? 344 00:09:42,658 --> 00:09:43,526 I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS ON HERE WITH 345 00:09:43,526 --> 00:09:44,660 DR. FRIGGIN' PHIL. 346 00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:48,131 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE 347 00:09:48,131 --> 00:09:50,133 DRINKING BY THE WAY, BABY TOMMY? 348 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,401 >> WELL IF YOU MUST KNOW, KAREN, 349 00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:53,002 I CALL IT THE LYNNFIELD LATTE. 350 00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:58,040 IT'S BREAST MILK AND HARD CIDAR. 351 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,877 PACKS A PUNCH! 352 00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:01,477 ANYWAY, THE DRINKING USHERED IN 353 00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:07,316 STAGE FIVE, VIOLENCE. 354 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:07,950 THAT'S WHEN THINGS GET HAZY AND 355 00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:08,151 DARK. 356 00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:08,818 APPARENTLY I CHEWED THE EAR OFF 357 00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:09,018 A COP. 358 00:10:09,018 --> 00:10:09,418 GOT LOCKED UP. 359 00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:10,019 SLEPT IT OFF. 360 00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:12,355 WHO CARES? 361 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:12,855 MISDEMEANOR. 362 00:10:12,855 --> 00:10:15,758 I'VE DONE WORSE. 363 00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,593 BELIEVE YOU ME! 364 00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:18,561 >> Jimmy: I BELIEVE IT, I 365 00:10:18,561 --> 00:10:19,195 BELIEVE IT. 366 00:10:19,195 --> 00:10:20,129 >> AND I GOT TO STAGE SIX, 367 00:10:20,129 --> 00:10:20,863 NOSTALGIA. 368 00:10:20,863 --> 00:10:21,330 STAGE SEVEN, DESPAIR. 369 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:24,867 STAGE EIGHT, DIARRHEA. 370 00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:25,434 AND NOW I AM AT STAGE NINE. 371 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,871 SELF LOATHING. 372 00:10:28,871 --> 00:10:31,340 >> Jimmy: I THINK THE LAST STAGE 373 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:31,941 IS SUPPOSED TO BE ACCEPTANCE. 374 00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:40,850 NOT SELF LOATHING. 375 00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:44,086 >> WELL, WHAT I'VE ACCEPTED IS 376 00:10:44,086 --> 00:10:44,820 THAT LIFE SUCKS AND YOU SUCK AND 377 00:10:44,820 --> 00:10:48,824 GOD SUCKS AND THIS CITY SUCKS A 378 00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:52,094 BIG ONE TOO! 379 00:10:52,094 --> 00:10:52,695 EVERY TOWN IN NEW ENGLAND IS 380 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:53,129 WORSE THAN THE NEXT. 381 00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:54,363 FROM SOMMERVILLE TO SEEKONK. 382 00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:58,100 FROM METHUEN TO MEDWAY. 383 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,870 FROM NEWTON UPPER FALLS TO 384 00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,138 NEWBURYPORT. 385 00:11:02,138 --> 00:11:02,572 FROM WOONSOCKET TO 386 00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:03,339 WINNIPESAUKEE!! 387 00:11:03,339 --> 00:11:08,544 IT'S ALL GARBAGE! 388 00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:13,382 GARBAGE TOWNS, GARBAGE PLACES. 389 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,618 TOMMY, TAKE ME TO TAMPA! 390 00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:16,852 I WANNA FEEL THAT WARM FLORIDA 391 00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:17,286 SUN ON MY BABY NUTS! 392 00:11:17,286 --> 00:11:20,823 [ BLEEP ] 393 00:11:20,823 --> 00:11:22,391 >> Jimmy: WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT 394 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,827 I'D SEE THE DAY YOU'D TURN YOUR 395 00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:27,063 BACK ON NEW ENGLAND. 396 00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:30,199 >> YOU MEAN LIKE HOW TOM TURNED 397 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:36,405 HIS BACK ON ALL OF US? 398 00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:37,306 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW THAT HE 399 00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:37,607 DID THAT. 400 00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:38,174 >> YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME? 401 00:11:38,174 --> 00:11:38,741 YOU WANT MY PERSIMMON SIZED 402 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,243 FISTS UP YOUR TOOT CHUTE? 403 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,812 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 404 00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:44,113 BECAUSE BRING IT ON! 405 00:11:44,113 --> 00:11:44,847 >> Jimmy: NO, NO. 406 00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:45,248 I DON'T WANT THAT. 407 00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:46,282 THANKS FOR CHATTING WITH US. 408 00:11:46,282 --> 00:11:46,916 YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR NAP NOW. 409 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:47,350 >> YEAH. 410 00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:48,851 YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU, 411 00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:50,086 YOU [ BLEEP ] CREEPER? 412 00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:53,456 YOU'D LIKE TO WATCH ME SLEEP. 413 00:11:53,456 --> 00:11:56,092 YOU CREEPY WEIRDO WITH ALL OF 414 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:59,528 YOUR WEIRD HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS, 415 00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:00,029 LIKE UNCLE JESSE STAMOS! 416 00:12:00,029 --> 00:12:00,429 >> Jimmy: THAT'S 417 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:03,399 TOMMY BRADY FITZPATRICK. 418 00:12:03,399 --> 00:12:08,137 >> I MISS YOU TOMMY TERRIFIC! 419 00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:10,906 COME BACK! 420 00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:12,241 >> Jimmy: ONE MORE THING, WHILE 421 00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:12,875 WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF 422 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:13,342 LEGENDARY PATS. 423 00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:18,281 I WANT TO MENTION THAT 424 00:12:18,281 --> 00:12:18,914 PAT ROBERTSON, THE 700 YEAR‐OLD 425 00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:20,349 HOST OF "THE 700 CLUB", 426 00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:21,684 PAT ROBERTSON, AFTER ALMOST 427 00:12:21,684 --> 00:12:23,619 60 YEARS ON TELEVISION NEARLY 428 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,854 EVERY DAY, HAS FINALLY STEPPED 429 00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:26,088 DOWN. 430 00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:26,789 FRIDAY WAS PAT'S FINAL SHOW. 431 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:27,990 OVER THE YEARS, HE HAS GIVEN SO 432 00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:29,058 MUCH TO SO MANY OF OUR 433 00:12:29,058 --> 00:12:30,660 MONOLOGUES, THAT WE WANTED TO 434 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,128 GIVE SOMETHING BACK. 435 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:32,662 SO WE COMBED THROUGH THE 436 00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:34,797 ARCHIVES AND HERE THEY ARE NOW. 437 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:35,898 AS WE SAY FAREWELL, SOME OF THE 438 00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:37,233 ALL‐TIME GREATEST PAT ROBERTSON 439 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,768 MOMENTS. 440 00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:47,576 >> WELCOME, FOLKS. 441 00:12:47,576 --> 00:12:48,744 WE GOT A GREAT PROGRAM FOR YOU. 442 00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:51,580 YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING. 443 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,616 ESPECIALLY THAT STRIPPER VISITED 444 00:12:53,616 --> 00:12:54,483 BY DEMONS. 445 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,018 COCAINE IS A PRODUCT OF A 446 00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:56,285 VEGETABLE. 447 00:12:56,285 --> 00:12:57,019 ALCOHOL IS A PRODUCT OF A 448 00:12:57,019 --> 00:13:01,424 VEGETABLE. 449 00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:05,127 MARIJUANA IS A VEGETABLE. 450 00:13:05,127 --> 00:13:06,829 I'VE BEEN TO CHINA SEVERAL 451 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,029 TIMES. 452 00:13:07,029 --> 00:13:08,864 I HAVE SEEN ONE OF THE BIGGEST 453 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:10,266 McDONALD'S IN THE WORLD. 454 00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:12,335 I'M A FAN OF BEANS. 455 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:14,437 ALL KINDS OF BEANS. 456 00:13:14,437 --> 00:13:16,505 YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL. 457 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,974 THE TOWELS COULD HAVE AIDS. 458 00:13:18,974 --> 00:13:22,078 YOU MUST BE NICE TO FAT PEOPLE. 459 00:13:22,078 --> 00:13:24,413 MOST GAYS DON'T WANT PIZZA, THEY 460 00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:24,847 WANT CAKE. 461 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,882 HOW COME JEWS HAVE MORE MONEY 462 00:13:26,882 --> 00:13:33,389 THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE? 463 00:13:33,389 --> 00:13:35,191 I'VE GOT AN UNCONTROLLABLE URGE 464 00:13:35,191 --> 00:13:38,394 TO WATCH PORNOGRAPHY. 465 00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:40,930 DO YOU DO BODY WAXING. 466 00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:43,499 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TAKE YOUR 467 00:13:43,499 --> 00:13:45,234 TOP OFF AND DANCE AROUND A 468 00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:48,204 LITTLE BIT. 469 00:13:48,204 --> 00:13:52,174 >> IS THAT A BLACK THING? 470 00:13:52,174 --> 00:13:55,878 >> IT'S A BLACK THING, PAT. 471 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,146 I WAS DOING SOME MOVES KIND OF 472 00:13:57,146 --> 00:14:00,015 LIKE WHAT THEY DO IN THE 473 00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:00,349 OLYMPICS. 474 00:14:00,349 --> 00:14:01,417 WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. 475 00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:03,219 WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. 476 00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:04,854 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT 477 00:14:04,854 --> 00:14:05,054 THAT. 478 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:05,988 THANK YOU, PAT. 479 00:14:05,988 --> 00:14:06,589 WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU 480 00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:08,357 TONIGHT. 481 00:14:08,357 --> 00:14:09,458 THE NEW LOS ANGELES LAKER 482 00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:10,559 RUSSELL WESTBROOK IS WITH US. 483 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:11,927 WE HAVE MUSIC FROM ALICE MERTON. 484 00:14:11,927 --> 00:14:12,228 AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH 485 00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,429 JOHN STAMOS. 486 00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:16,198 STICK AROUND. 487 00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:25,541 ♪ 488 00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,043 >> Jimmy: TONIGHT, HIS NEW 489 00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:30,246 SHOWTIME DOCUMENTARY IS CALLED 490 00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:31,213 "PASSION PLAY." 491 00:14:31,213 --> 00:14:31,814 FROM THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS, 492 00:14:31,814 --> 00:14:35,418 RUSSELL WESTBROOK IS HERE. 493 00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,919 [ APPLAUSE ] 494 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,020 THEN LATER, SHE IS A 495 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:38,621 SINGER‐SONGWRITER ALL THE WAY 496 00:14:38,621 --> 00:14:41,390 FROM GERMANY. 497 00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:41,991 HER SONG IS CALLED "VERTIGO." 498 00:14:41,991 --> 00:14:43,225 ALICE MERTON FROM THE 499 00:14:43,225 --> 00:14:44,493 MERCEDES‐BENZ STAGE. 500 00:14:44,493 --> 00:14:47,263 [ APPLAUSE ] 501 00:14:47,263 --> 00:14:48,898 THIS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS 502 00:14:48,898 --> 00:14:53,736 WITH JAMES BOND HIMSELF, 503 00:14:53,736 --> 00:14:56,639 DANIEL CRAIG, RAMI MALEK, 504 00:14:56,639 --> 00:14:58,107 ELLEN POMPEO, HENRY WINKLER. 505 00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,542 AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM 506 00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:02,478 X AMBASSADORS, OLD DOMINION, AND 507 00:15:02,478 --> 00:15:03,512 BILLY IDOL. 508 00:15:03,512 --> 00:15:07,216 [ APPLAUSE ] 509 00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:07,850 OUR FIRST GUEST OF THE WEEK IS A 510 00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,752 GRECO‐AMERICAN TREASURE WHOSE 511 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:13,389 SMILE COULD LIGHT UP EVEN THE 512 00:15:13,389 --> 00:15:14,490 DARKEST DEMON'S SOUL. 513 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:15,090 SEASON ONE OF HIS HIGH SCHOOL 514 00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:17,026 BASKETBALL SERIES "BIG SHOT" IS 515 00:15:17,026 --> 00:15:19,261 ON DISNEY PLUS NOW. 516 00:15:19,261 --> 00:15:21,330 PLEASE SAY HELLO TO JOHN STAMOS. 517 00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:27,236 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 518 00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:44,487 ♪ 519 00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:48,724 >> THE WALK OUT FEELS SO GOOD. 520 00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,493 >> Jimmy: YOU COME OUT, PEOPLE 521 00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:50,893 HERE. 522 00:15:50,893 --> 00:15:51,560 >> IT'S NICE TO SEE ALL OF YOU. 523 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,496 [ APPLAUSE ] 524 00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:57,867 ONE OF THE THINGS I MISS IS THE 525 00:15:57,867 --> 00:15:58,100 WHISPER. 526 00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,268 YOU EVER WATCH LIKE WHEN THE 527 00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:02,538 GUEST COMES OUT, THE HOST, THEY 528 00:16:02,538 --> 00:16:05,074 WOULD SHAKE HANDS AND WHISPER. 529 00:16:05,074 --> 00:16:08,277 EVER WONDER WHAT WE SAY? 530 00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:09,645 I PUT TOGETHER SOMETHING, JIM. 531 00:16:09,645 --> 00:16:11,213 >> Jimmy: YOU DID? 532 00:16:11,213 --> 00:16:14,483 JOHN STAMOS. 533 00:16:14,483 --> 00:16:15,885 [ APPLAUSE ] 534 00:16:15,885 --> 00:16:19,522 >> I JUST HAD SEX WITH YOUR 535 00:16:19,522 --> 00:16:19,722 WIFE. 536 00:16:19,722 --> 00:16:23,826 >> Jimmy: JOHN STAMOS. 537 00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:25,895 >> WHAT'S UP, JIM? 538 00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:28,497 I TOOK THREE VIAGRA. 539 00:16:28,497 --> 00:16:29,565 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT? 540 00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:30,933 I REMEMBER THAT. 541 00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:34,103 I STILL REMEMBER THAT. 542 00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:37,172 >> FULL DISCLOSURE, I DID NOT 543 00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:38,908 HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE. 544 00:16:38,908 --> 00:16:41,110 I DID TAKE THREE VIE YAG A. 545 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,311 THAT WAS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. 546 00:16:42,311 --> 00:16:44,179 I THINK I'M GOOD NOW. 547 00:16:44,179 --> 00:16:46,448 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. 548 00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:47,049 >> I HAVE A BONE TO PICK YOU. 549 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,752 >> Jimmy: WE'VE GONE FROM THREE 550 00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:50,819 VIAGRA TO A BONE. 551 00:16:50,819 --> 00:16:53,322 >> I WAS LISTENING TO YOU ON 552 00:16:53,322 --> 00:16:54,423 "HOWARD" RECENTLY. 553 00:16:54,423 --> 00:16:56,892 >> Jimmy: ON THE "HOWARD STERN" 554 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:57,693 SHOW. 555 00:16:57,693 --> 00:16:58,928 >> HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS 556 00:16:58,928 --> 00:16:59,228 THING. 557 00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:01,497 >> Jimmy: THE RING, I HAVE IT 558 00:17:01,497 --> 00:17:02,965 ON. 559 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,667 >> I BOUGHT ONE BECAUSE OF YOU 560 00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:04,867 GUYS. 561 00:17:04,867 --> 00:17:06,902 TELL THEM ABOUT IT. 562 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:07,703 IT REDUCES STRESS. 563 00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:08,904 >> Jimmy: WELL ‐‐ 564 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,507 >> IT HELPS YOU SLEEP. 565 00:17:11,507 --> 00:17:13,309 >> Jimmy: IN SOME PEOPLE IT 566 00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:13,709 INCREASES STRESS. 567 00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:15,678 >> THAT'S THE THING, I LOST 568 00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:15,978 MINE. 569 00:17:15,978 --> 00:17:19,081 >> Jimmy: IT MEASURES YOUR HEART 570 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:19,882 BEAT, I GUESS. 571 00:17:19,882 --> 00:17:21,083 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES. 572 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,785 BUT I LIKE LOOKING AT THE APP 573 00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:24,920 THAT SAYS YOU HAD A VERY GOOD 574 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:25,821 NIGHT'S SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 575 00:17:25,821 --> 00:17:27,556 >> I HAVEN'T, BECAUSE I CAN'T 576 00:17:27,556 --> 00:17:28,123 FIND MINE. 577 00:17:28,123 --> 00:17:30,092 IT TRACKS YOUR SLEEP AND YOUR 578 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:30,726 STRESS LEVEL. 579 00:17:30,726 --> 00:17:32,494 IT DOESN'T TRACK ITSELF. 580 00:17:32,494 --> 00:17:34,196 YOU CAN'T FIND IT. 581 00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:35,264 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT. 582 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:40,002 >> AND IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE. 583 00:17:40,002 --> 00:17:41,904 >> Jimmy: I LOST ONE, TOO. 584 00:17:41,904 --> 00:17:44,506 >> JENNIFER ANISTON HAD IT AND 585 00:17:44,506 --> 00:17:46,108 LOST HERS. 586 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:50,279 >> Jimmy: SHE LOST HERS TOO? 587 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:52,915 I THINK THEY WANT YOU TO LOSE 588 00:17:52,915 --> 00:17:53,315 THEM. 589 00:17:53,315 --> 00:17:55,818 I KEEP TALKING LIKE THIS AND I 590 00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:58,020 KEEP THINKING THE MAIL WILL COME 591 00:17:58,020 --> 00:17:59,221 WITH A WHOLE BOX OF THESE 592 00:17:59,221 --> 00:17:59,455 THINGS. 593 00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:02,224 I ALMOST LOST IT TODAY. 594 00:18:02,224 --> 00:18:03,959 >> TERRIBLE. 595 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,194 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT, THEY 596 00:18:05,194 --> 00:18:07,396 SHOULD BE ABLE TO TRACK THEM. 597 00:18:07,396 --> 00:18:09,865 >> I AM MORE STRESSED BECAUSE I 598 00:18:09,865 --> 00:18:10,599 HAVE LESS SLEEP. 599 00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:13,035 BUT I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. 600 00:18:13,035 --> 00:18:15,270 IN 601 00:18:15,270 --> 00:18:15,638 [ APPLAUSE ] 602 00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:17,272 >> Jimmy: HOW IS YOUR BOY, 603 00:18:17,272 --> 00:18:18,974 BILLY, IS HE 3 YEARS OLD NOW? 604 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:19,708 >> 3. 605 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,543 >> Jimmy: I HAVE A 4‐YEAR‐OLD 606 00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:21,844 BILLY. 607 00:18:21,844 --> 00:18:25,414 >> HOW DO YOU KEEP THEM ALIVE? 608 00:18:25,414 --> 00:18:27,383 >> Jimmy: HE'S TRYING TO KILL US 609 00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:28,384 IS WHAT IT IS. 610 00:18:28,384 --> 00:18:30,085 HE WAKES UP BEFORE THE SUN. 611 00:18:30,085 --> 00:18:34,256 >> SAME WITH MINE. 612 00:18:34,256 --> 00:18:37,493 HE'S POT XTY TRAINED PRETTY WEL 613 00:18:37,493 --> 00:18:37,693 THAT. 614 00:18:37,693 --> 00:18:38,360 HAPPENED FAST. 615 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,529 I WENT IN AND SAW HIM, DAD, I 616 00:18:40,529 --> 00:18:41,964 HAVE TO PEE. 617 00:18:41,964 --> 00:18:43,966 THIS IS HOW HE PEES ON THE 618 00:18:43,966 --> 00:18:47,536 TOILET LIKE THIS. 619 00:18:47,536 --> 00:18:49,138 >> Jimmy: REALLY? 620 00:18:49,138 --> 00:18:50,973 >> HE'S LIKE ‐‐ AND THEN HE GOES 621 00:18:50,973 --> 00:18:54,276 INTO A DOWNWARD DOG. 622 00:18:54,276 --> 00:18:56,478 HE'S LIKE WIPE, WIPE. 623 00:18:56,478 --> 00:18:59,214 GOT TO RUSH IN AND WIPE. 624 00:18:59,214 --> 00:19:00,482 >> Jimmy: DID HE LEARN THAT FROM 625 00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:00,949 THE CAT OR SOMETHING? 626 00:19:00,949 --> 00:19:04,386 >> NO, ME. 627 00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:05,754 AND THE MUSIC, I DON'T KNOW WHAT 628 00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:07,423 YOU GUYS PLAY TO YOUR KIDS. 629 00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:11,126 BUT HE LOVES BETELGEUSE. 630 00:19:11,126 --> 00:19:15,230 AND HE MET BETELGEUSE AT 631 00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:16,632 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. 632 00:19:16,632 --> 00:19:18,801 IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MATT DAMON. 633 00:19:18,801 --> 00:19:20,536 SO HE'S BECOME OBSESSED WITH 634 00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,637 BETELGEUSE. 635 00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:22,838 THERE'S A BROADWAY MUSICAL 636 00:19:22,838 --> 00:19:24,773 VERSION OF "BETELGEUSE. 637 00:19:24,773 --> 00:19:26,475 "HE GOT HOOKED ON THE MUSICAL, 638 00:19:26,475 --> 00:19:26,975 THE SOUNDTRACK. 639 00:19:26,975 --> 00:19:30,946 THE OPENING SONG IS CALLED THE 640 00:19:30,946 --> 00:19:32,481 WHOLE BEING DEAD THING. 641 00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:33,716 FIRST YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT 642 00:19:33,716 --> 00:19:35,184 THAT MEANS. 643 00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:38,053 THE LYRICS ARE, LIKE, YOU'RE 644 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,521 GOING TO BE FINE ON THE OTHER 645 00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,356 SIDE, DIE, MOTHER [ BLEEP ], 646 00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:42,424 DIE, DIE. 647 00:19:42,424 --> 00:19:44,993 HE'S BACK THERE SINGING IT. 648 00:19:44,993 --> 00:19:46,528 AND MY WIFE IS LIKE, SHOULD WE 649 00:19:46,528 --> 00:19:48,497 NOT ‐‐ NO, NO, DON'T MAKE ATE 650 00:19:48,497 --> 00:19:49,198 BIG DEAL. 651 00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:52,000 IF HE KNOWS IT'S A BAD WORD, HE 652 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,135 WILL SAY IT. 653 00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:55,237 AT WHAT POINT DO YOU TELL HIM, 654 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,072 BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO THE 655 00:19:57,072 --> 00:20:01,710 TEACHER SAYING DIE, MOTHER 656 00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:02,044 [ BLEEP ], DIE. 657 00:20:02,044 --> 00:20:03,145 >> Reporter: WHEN HE SAYS THAT 658 00:20:03,145 --> 00:20:05,247 TO THE TEACHER AT SHOW AND TELL. 659 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,216 WOW, BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU DO 660 00:20:07,216 --> 00:20:09,118 HEAR THINGS AND THEN YOU DON'T 661 00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:11,053 WANT THEM TO HEAR, BUT THEY HEAR 662 00:20:11,053 --> 00:20:12,054 EVERYTHING AND THEY KNOW 663 00:20:12,054 --> 00:20:12,387 EVERYTHING. 664 00:20:12,387 --> 00:20:14,022 BUT IF YOU REACT IN ANY WAY, 665 00:20:14,022 --> 00:20:19,261 LIKE WE WATCHED "E. T." AND THE 666 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:23,899 KIDS SAPY PENIS BREATH AND MY 667 00:20:23,899 --> 00:20:25,234 KIDS WERE SO DELIGHTED. 668 00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:26,602 I JUST KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO 669 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,804 BE LINE OH, YES, PENIS BREATH 670 00:20:28,804 --> 00:20:32,341 AND NOW IT'S PART OF THEIR 671 00:20:32,341 --> 00:20:32,641 VOCABULARY. 672 00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:34,276 THEY ALSO LOVE SAYING THE WORD 673 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,110 "BUTT HOLE." 674 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,479 THAT IS ANOTHER WORD THEY LOVE. 675 00:20:37,479 --> 00:20:38,947 >> IT'S A FUNNY WORD. 676 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,083 >> Jimmy: BUT IT'S A STEP TOO 677 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:41,250 FAR. 678 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,951 BUTT'S FINE, BUT WHEN IT GETS 679 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,887 INTO THAT, LIKE THAT'S TOO MUCH. 680 00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:45,921 >> YES, IT IS. 681 00:20:45,921 --> 00:20:47,089 >> Jimmy: BUT THE MORE I TRY TO 682 00:20:47,089 --> 00:20:49,858 TELL THEM THAT IT'S TOO MUCH ‐‐ 683 00:20:49,858 --> 00:20:51,760 >> THE MORE THEY SAY IT. 684 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,162 WE OUGHT TO GET RID OF THEM, ALL 685 00:20:53,162 --> 00:20:53,428 TOGETHER. 686 00:20:53,428 --> 00:20:56,899 [ LAUGHTER ] 687 00:20:56,899 --> 00:20:59,101 I LOVE IT. 688 00:20:59,101 --> 00:20:59,868 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU HAVING FUN? 689 00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:04,439 >> HE'S A BEAUTIFUL BOY. 690 00:21:04,439 --> 00:21:06,108 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU MOLDING HIM IN 691 00:21:06,108 --> 00:21:06,475 YOUR IMAGE? 692 00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:07,242 >> NO. 693 00:21:07,242 --> 00:21:09,478 I TRY TO, BUT HE'S NOT BUYING 694 00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:10,078 IT. 695 00:21:10,078 --> 00:21:11,880 THERE'S ONE SCENE ON "FULL 696 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,549 HOUSE" WHERE A MONKEY IS 697 00:21:13,549 --> 00:21:14,283 SPANKING MY BUTT. 698 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:15,250 THAT HE LIKES. 699 00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:21,490 BUT ANYTHING ELSE, HE WON'T ‐‐ 700 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,225 >> Jimmy: I NEVER SAW MY DAD GET 701 00:21:23,225 --> 00:21:25,460 SPANKED ON THE BUTT BY A MONKEY. 702 00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:26,995 DO YOU SHARE WISDOM OR IS HE TOO 703 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:27,863 YOUNG FOR THAT? 704 00:21:27,863 --> 00:21:29,631 >> WELL, YOU HAV TO, RIGHT? 705 00:21:29,631 --> 00:21:31,433 ONE OF THE THINGS ‐‐ YOU KNOW 706 00:21:31,433 --> 00:21:33,936 HOW ‐‐ THEY ALL HAVE A. D. D., 707 00:21:33,936 --> 00:21:34,303 THESE KIDS. 708 00:21:34,303 --> 00:21:35,404 >> Jimmy: WELL, THEY DON'T. 709 00:21:35,404 --> 00:21:42,711 IT'S JUST THAT HE'S 3. 710 00:21:42,711 --> 00:21:43,011 DON'T WORRY. 711 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,379 YOU KNOW LIKE WHEN THEY SAY THIS 712 00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:46,181 PERSON HAS THE ATTENTION OF A 713 00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:48,317 3‐YEAR‐OLD, THAT'S WHY. 714 00:21:48,317 --> 00:21:49,952 >> HE'LL DO SOMETHING AND THEN 715 00:21:49,952 --> 00:21:50,385 QUIT. 716 00:21:50,385 --> 00:21:54,022 I'LL SAY NO, ONCE YOU TRY, IF AT 717 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,991 FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, 718 00:21:55,991 --> 00:21:56,491 TRY AGAIN. 719 00:21:56,491 --> 00:21:58,360 YESTERDAY HE WAS AT A PLAY DATE 720 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:03,232 AND HE WENT TO KISS SOME KID AND 721 00:22:03,232 --> 00:22:05,067 THE KID DIDN'T WANT IT. 722 00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:08,070 AND HE WAS LIKE, MY DAD TOLD ME, 723 00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:08,670 TRY, TRY AGAIN. 724 00:22:08,670 --> 00:22:09,838 >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT SOME 725 00:22:09,838 --> 00:22:11,240 TROUBLE ON YOUR HANDS. 726 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,875 >> HE'S TOO CHARMING. 727 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:15,344 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO EMBARRASS 728 00:22:15,344 --> 00:22:16,245 YOU FOR A SECOND. 729 00:22:16,245 --> 00:22:17,179 I WANT TO READ SOMETHING. 730 00:22:17,179 --> 00:22:20,682 OVER THE SUMMER, ROBERT LLOYD, A 731 00:22:20,682 --> 00:22:23,085 WRITER FROM L. A. TIMES WROTE A 732 00:22:23,085 --> 00:22:27,055 STORY, AND THE HEADLINE IS JOHN 733 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,657 STAMOS IS ONE OF TVs MOST 734 00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:29,992 UNDERRATED ACTORS. 735 00:22:29,992 --> 00:22:31,560 IT'S TIME HE RECEIVED HIS DUE. 736 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,997 >> YOU SURE MY MOTHER DIDN'T 737 00:22:34,997 --> 00:22:35,297 WRITE THAT? 738 00:22:35,297 --> 00:22:36,164 WHAT A NICE THING. 739 00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:37,733 >> Jimmy: IT'S REALLY LIKE AN 740 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,501 EXAMINATION OF YOUR WHOLE 741 00:22:39,501 --> 00:22:42,671 CAREER, AND YOUR ‐‐ REALLY, I 742 00:22:42,671 --> 00:22:43,705 THINK YOU KNOW WHAT? 743 00:22:43,705 --> 00:22:46,441 HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT. 744 00:22:46,441 --> 00:22:48,777 I THINK MAYBE LOOKING LIKE THIS 745 00:22:48,777 --> 00:22:50,479 HAS MADE PEOPLE TAKE YOU NOT SO 746 00:22:50,479 --> 00:22:51,947 SERIOUSLY. 747 00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:54,016 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 748 00:22:54,016 --> 00:22:57,119 SEE, I'M GETTING HYPNOTIZED. 749 00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:58,353 I'M FALLING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. 750 00:22:58,353 --> 00:23:01,223 HE WROTE THIS, HE'S MORE 751 00:23:01,223 --> 00:23:03,158 INTERESTING LOOKING THAN A 752 00:23:03,158 --> 00:23:05,894 CLOONEY, PITT OR DAMON. 753 00:23:05,894 --> 00:23:07,663 DEFINITELY DAMON. 754 00:23:07,663 --> 00:23:09,364 HIS SMILE IS WAYWARD, GOING THIS 755 00:23:09,364 --> 00:23:10,198 WAY AND THAT. 756 00:23:10,198 --> 00:23:14,303 >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GOING THIS 757 00:23:14,303 --> 00:23:14,469 WAY? 758 00:23:14,469 --> 00:23:17,539 THAT'S LIKE IF YOU SAY SOMEBODY 759 00:23:17,539 --> 00:23:19,007 HAS PRETTY BLUE EYES. 760 00:23:19,007 --> 00:23:20,876 >> Jimmy: I CAN SEE YOU'RE 761 00:23:20,876 --> 00:23:22,611 GETTING UPTIGHT ABOUT GETTING 762 00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:22,945 COMPLIMENTED. 763 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:23,845 BUT RELAX AND LISTEN. 764 00:23:23,845 --> 00:23:25,113 TAKE IT IN. 765 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,049 IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOMEBODY SAY 766 00:23:27,049 --> 00:23:27,716 SOMETHING NICE. 767 00:23:27,716 --> 00:23:29,351 HIS SMILE IS WAYWARD, GOING IN 768 00:23:29,351 --> 00:23:31,186 WAY AND THAT. 769 00:23:31,186 --> 00:23:33,588 HIS BOTTOM TEETH ARE JUST A 770 00:23:33,588 --> 00:23:34,189 LITTLE CRACKED. 771 00:23:34,189 --> 00:23:36,825 IT FEELS ALMOST LIKE A RADICAL 772 00:23:36,825 --> 00:23:38,493 AUTHENTICITY IN A HOLLYWOOD 773 00:23:38,493 --> 00:23:38,827 STAR. 774 00:23:38,827 --> 00:23:39,928 >> I HAVE A CONFESSION. 775 00:23:39,928 --> 00:23:44,933 I GOT THEM FIXED. 776 00:23:44,933 --> 00:23:47,703 >> Jimmy: AFTER THIS ARTICLE? 777 00:23:47,703 --> 00:23:49,638 YOU LOST YOUR LOOK OF 778 00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:50,305 AUTHENTICITY. 779 00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:51,740 >> I DON'T CARE. 780 00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:53,742 >> Jimmy: SO THIS ARTICLE THAT 781 00:23:53,742 --> 00:23:55,844 IS 100% NICE FROM BEGINNING TO 782 00:23:55,844 --> 00:23:57,446 END, WHAT YOU TOOK OUT OF IT IS 783 00:23:57,446 --> 00:23:59,448 I NEED TO FIX MY TEETH? 784 00:23:59,448 --> 00:24:02,184 >> WELL, HE SAID THEY WERE 785 00:24:02,184 --> 00:24:02,484 WAYWARD. 786 00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:04,720 >> Jimmy: I SEE WHY YOUR SON IS 787 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:05,887 NOT LISTENING TO YOU. 788 00:24:05,887 --> 00:24:08,490 JOHN STAMOS IS HERE. 789 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:11,693 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 790 00:24:20,402 --> 00:24:21,770 >> Jimmy: JOHN STAMOS IS WITH 791 00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:22,137 US. 792 00:24:22,137 --> 00:24:25,774 HIS SHOW "BIG SHOT" IS ON DISNEY 793 00:24:25,774 --> 00:24:26,208 PLUS. 794 00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,843 YOU'VE BEEN RENEWED FOR SEASON 795 00:24:27,843 --> 00:24:28,176 TWO. 796 00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,711 CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT. 797 00:24:29,711 --> 00:24:30,912 [ APPLAUSE ] 798 00:24:30,912 --> 00:24:31,947 THAT'S A GOOD THING. 799 00:24:31,947 --> 00:24:36,985 YOU SAW THE SHOW, RIGHT? 800 00:24:36,985 --> 00:24:37,719 >> I DID. 801 00:24:37,719 --> 00:24:38,453 >> Jimmy: YOU PLAY THIS GIRL'S 802 00:24:38,453 --> 00:24:40,155 BASKETBALL COACH, THE COACH OF A 803 00:24:40,155 --> 00:24:41,023 GIRL'S HIGH SCHOOL TEAM. 804 00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,225 I KNOW YOU KNOW, THIS I'M 805 00:24:43,225 --> 00:24:44,192 TELLING THE AUDIENCE. 806 00:24:44,192 --> 00:24:46,928 YOU WERE LIKE AN NCAA MEN'S 807 00:24:46,928 --> 00:24:48,463 BASKETBALL COACH, AND THIS WAS 808 00:24:48,463 --> 00:24:49,965 LIKE A STEP DOWN FOR YOU. 809 00:24:49,965 --> 00:24:50,432 YOU THOUGHT. 810 00:24:50,432 --> 00:24:52,034 >> THAT'S WHAT HE THOUGHT, BUT 811 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:53,301 IT WASN'T. 812 00:24:53,301 --> 00:24:54,836 HERE'S A GUY WHO GOES IN WITH 813 00:24:54,836 --> 00:24:57,672 THESE PRECONCEIVED IDEA OF WHAT 814 00:24:57,672 --> 00:24:59,207 FEMALE SPORTS SHOULD BE, AND I'M 815 00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:00,575 JUST BLOWN AWAY. 816 00:25:00,575 --> 00:25:02,978 A CRUSTY OLD, JERKY ‐‐ HIS 817 00:25:02,978 --> 00:25:04,346 IDEALS WERE JUST SO OUTDATED. 818 00:25:04,346 --> 00:25:06,014 AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH THE 819 00:25:06,014 --> 00:25:07,182 GUY JUST CHANGE LIKE THAT AND 820 00:25:07,182 --> 00:25:08,917 PLAY OUT THROUGH A WHOLE SEASON. 821 00:25:08,917 --> 00:25:12,621 AND I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR DISNEY 822 00:25:12,621 --> 00:25:13,455 PICKING IT UP. 823 00:25:13,455 --> 00:25:15,190 THERE'S SO MANY ANALYTICS THAT 824 00:25:15,190 --> 00:25:19,795 DIDN'T WORK HERE, IT WORKED 825 00:25:19,795 --> 00:25:21,463 HERE, AND IT WAS LIKE ‐‐ YOU 826 00:25:21,463 --> 00:25:23,832 KNOW, WE DON'T KNOW, WE'RE 827 00:25:23,832 --> 00:25:24,833 TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. 828 00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:26,935 I SAID, THIS IS WHAT DISNEY IS 829 00:25:26,935 --> 00:25:27,469 TO ME. 830 00:25:27,469 --> 00:25:29,538 IT'S INCLUSION, HEART, GUTS. 831 00:25:29,538 --> 00:25:32,107 AND THEY HAD THE GUTS GO, WE'RE 832 00:25:32,107 --> 00:25:36,611 GOING TO PICK IT UP. 833 00:25:36,611 --> 00:25:38,547 >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO HAVE THIS 834 00:25:38,547 --> 00:25:39,014 PODCAST. 835 00:25:39,014 --> 00:25:39,981 IT'S SOMETHING VERY CLOSE TO 836 00:25:39,981 --> 00:25:40,949 YOUR HEARD. 837 00:25:40,949 --> 00:25:43,685 IT'S A PODCAST ABOUT ‐‐ AND I 838 00:25:43,685 --> 00:25:44,886 DON'T THINK A LOT OF YOUNGER 839 00:25:44,886 --> 00:25:45,720 PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS. 840 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,756 THE KIDNAPPING OF FRANK SINATRA, 841 00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:48,090 JR. 842 00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:50,192 >> IT'S A FASCINATING STORY 843 00:25:50,192 --> 00:25:52,194 ABOUT THIS GUY WHO WAS AT THE 844 00:25:52,194 --> 00:25:55,430 LOWEST POINT IN HIS LIFE, AND 845 00:25:55,430 --> 00:25:57,099 HE'S IN HIS CAR, AND ON THE 846 00:25:57,099 --> 00:26:00,836 RADIO, GOD'S VOICE CAME AND SAID 847 00:26:00,836 --> 00:26:02,204 KIDNAP SOMEONE TO GET OUT OF 848 00:26:02,204 --> 00:26:03,905 YOUR TROUBLES. 849 00:26:03,905 --> 00:26:09,478 HE KIDNAPPED FRANK SINATRA, JR. 850 00:26:09,478 --> 00:26:10,078 >> Jimmy: WHO WAS HOW OLD AT 851 00:26:10,078 --> 00:26:10,378 THAT TIME? 852 00:26:10,378 --> 00:26:11,746 >> 19. 853 00:26:11,746 --> 00:26:13,181 NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS. 854 00:26:13,181 --> 00:26:16,284 HE WAS NOT AT ‐‐ THIS GUY BARRY 855 00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:16,585 KEENAN. 856 00:26:16,585 --> 00:26:20,255 HE'S 81 NOW, MY GOOD BUDDY. 857 00:26:20,255 --> 00:26:21,923 I DIDN'T WANT TO GLORIFY IT, 858 00:26:21,923 --> 00:26:23,258 BECAUSE I HAVE A SON AND THE 859 00:26:23,258 --> 00:26:25,360 IDEA OF KIDS BEING KIDNAPPED IS 860 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:25,627 TERRIBLE. 861 00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:27,496 IT'S REALLY ‐‐ I GOT TO TAKE A 862 00:26:27,496 --> 00:26:34,836 REAL DEEP DIVE INTO THIS 863 00:26:34,836 --> 00:26:37,906 THE TRUTH IS, HE WAS MENTALLY 864 00:26:37,906 --> 00:26:38,473 ILL. 865 00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,108 I GOT TO SEE HOW LOW A PERSON 866 00:26:40,108 --> 00:26:41,877 HAS TO GET AND THE EXTREMES THEY 867 00:26:41,877 --> 00:26:43,378 HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO GET OUT OF 868 00:26:43,378 --> 00:26:43,745 IT. 869 00:26:43,745 --> 00:26:46,348 IT'S A FASCINATING STUDY IN 870 00:26:46,348 --> 00:26:48,416 MENTAL ILLNESS AND A GUY PLAGUED 871 00:26:48,416 --> 00:26:50,185 WITH CATHOLICISM AND DOING THE 872 00:26:50,185 --> 00:26:50,585 RIGHT THING. 873 00:26:50,585 --> 00:26:52,120 WE WANTED TO GET TO THAT STATE 874 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,990 OF GRACE AND IT'S INTERESTING. 875 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:58,426 >> Jimmy: DOES IT SURPRISE YOU 876 00:26:58,426 --> 00:27:01,163 AT ALL SINATRA DIDN'T HAVE HIM 877 00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:01,396 KILLED? 878 00:27:01,396 --> 00:27:04,766 >> HE TRIED, THREE TIMES. 879 00:27:04,766 --> 00:27:07,402 BUT THE HITMAN ‐‐ IT'S LIKE 880 00:27:07,402 --> 00:27:09,070 KATO, FOR 50 YEARS, HE WAS SHOT 881 00:27:09,070 --> 00:27:10,405 AT THREE OR FOUR TIMES. 882 00:27:10,405 --> 00:27:14,009 THE LAST TIME, THE HITMAN HAD 883 00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:21,016 HIM IN HIS SIGHTS AND HIS 884 00:27:21,016 --> 00:27:23,018 COLOSTOMY BAG BROKE AND HE 885 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:24,052 MISSED HIM. 886 00:27:24,052 --> 00:27:25,287 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE 887 00:27:25,287 --> 00:27:26,321 A WONDERFUL THING TO DO FOR 888 00:27:26,321 --> 00:27:26,521 FRANK? 889 00:27:26,521 --> 00:27:31,860 KILL THAT GUY. 890 00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:33,428 >> WE COULD TELL THE STORY, 891 00:27:33,428 --> 00:27:34,963 BECAUSE FRANK'S DEAD. 892 00:27:34,963 --> 00:27:36,998 >> Jimmy: FRANK HAS PASSED AWAY. 893 00:27:36,998 --> 00:27:38,733 IT SOUNDS LIKE FRANK DIDN'T HAVE 894 00:27:38,733 --> 00:27:40,635 A LOT OF FIREPOWER BEHIND HIM. 895 00:27:40,635 --> 00:27:42,771 YOU KNOW, WE ALL THOUGHT FRANK 896 00:27:42,771 --> 00:27:44,839 WOULD GO LIKE THIS AND YOU WOULD 897 00:27:44,839 --> 00:27:45,574 JUST COLLAPSE. 898 00:27:45,574 --> 00:27:47,742 AND IT TURNS OUT THAT MAYBE NOT 899 00:27:47,742 --> 00:27:48,643 AS WELL CONNECTED. 900 00:27:48,643 --> 00:27:51,313 >> INTERESTING STORY, THOUGH. 901 00:27:51,313 --> 00:27:57,719 >> Jimmy: VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. 902 00:27:57,719 --> 00:28:00,355 JOHN STAMOS, EVERY BODY. 903 00:28:00,355 --> 00:28:01,089 "BIG SHOT" IS ON DISNEY PLUS 904 00:28:01,089 --> 00:28:01,256 NOW. 905 00:28:01,256 --> 00:28:01,723 WE'LL BE BACK WITH 906 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,391 RUSSELL WESTBROOK. 907 00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:12,400 >> Jimmy: MUSIC FROM 908 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,469 ALICE MERTON IS ON THE WAY. 909 00:28:14,469 --> 00:28:15,070 OUR NEXT GUEST IS A NINE‐TIME 910 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:16,304 NBA ALL‐STAR. 911 00:28:16,304 --> 00:28:20,308 TWO‐TIME SCORING CHAMP. 912 00:28:20,308 --> 00:28:21,176 MOST VALUABLE PLAYER, SNAPPY 913 00:28:21,176 --> 00:28:22,410 DRESSER, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY TO 914 00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:23,912 US, A NEW LOS ANGELES LAKER. 915 00:28:23,912 --> 00:28:27,549 YOU CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT HIM IN A 916 00:28:27,549 --> 00:28:27,916 NEW DOCUMENTARY. 917 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:28,516 "PASSION PLAY" PREMIERES 918 00:28:28,516 --> 00:28:30,585 OCTOBER 15th ON SHOWTIME. 919 00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:31,586 PLEASE SAY HELLO TO NUMBER ZERO, 920 00:28:31,586 --> 00:28:36,992 RUSSELL WESTBROOK. 921 00:28:36,992 --> 00:28:44,032 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 922 00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:47,869 ♪ 923 00:28:50,572 --> 00:28:52,007 >> Jimmy: I'M EXCITED YOU'RE 924 00:28:52,007 --> 00:28:52,207 HERE. 925 00:28:52,207 --> 00:28:53,942 NOT JUST AS A TALK SHOW HOST BUT 926 00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:55,543 AS A LAKERS' FAN I'M EXCITED 927 00:28:55,543 --> 00:28:56,344 THAT YOU'RE HERE. 928 00:28:56,344 --> 00:28:57,746 >> ME, TOO. 929 00:28:57,746 --> 00:28:58,113 I'M HAPPY. 930 00:28:58,113 --> 00:28:59,314 >> Jimmy: WERE YOU ALWAYS 931 00:28:59,314 --> 00:29:00,448 PLANNING TO COME HERE, WAS IT 932 00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:02,050 ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD? 933 00:29:02,050 --> 00:29:04,019 >> SECRETLY, YES. 934 00:29:04,019 --> 00:29:05,787 >> Jimmy: BECAUSE IT'S YOUR 935 00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:06,288 HOMETOWN. 936 00:29:06,288 --> 00:29:08,957 >> I THINK EVERY PLAYER WANTS TO 937 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,025 EVENTUALLY PLAY AT HOME. 938 00:29:10,025 --> 00:29:12,394 AND I THINK NOW THE TIMING IS 939 00:29:12,394 --> 00:29:14,262 RIGHT, THE TEAM IS RIGHT, 940 00:29:14,262 --> 00:29:15,764 EVERYTHING IS IN LINE. 941 00:29:15,764 --> 00:29:16,998 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE BEST THING 942 00:29:16,998 --> 00:29:17,866 ABOUT BEING HOME? 943 00:29:17,866 --> 00:29:20,068 >> BEING ABLE TO BE WITH MY KIDS 944 00:29:20,068 --> 00:29:22,337 AND MY FAMILY, MY MOM, MY DAD, 945 00:29:22,337 --> 00:29:23,805 MY BROTHER, MY CLOSE FRIENDS, 946 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:24,873 HAVING AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE ABLE 947 00:29:24,873 --> 00:29:26,975 TO SEE MY KIDS GROW UP AND NOT 948 00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:28,710 BE GOING BACK AND FORTH. 949 00:29:28,710 --> 00:29:30,578 TO ME THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT. 950 00:29:30,578 --> 00:29:31,413 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE WORST THING 951 00:29:31,413 --> 00:29:32,914 ABOUT PLAYING AT HOME? 952 00:29:32,914 --> 00:29:36,885 THERE HAS TO BE SOME NEGATIVES. 953 00:29:36,885 --> 00:29:39,554 >> EVERY DAY, IT'S A BIRTHDAY 954 00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:40,221 PARTY. 955 00:29:40,221 --> 00:29:42,757 MY PARTS, FRIENDS, THAT'S THE 956 00:29:42,757 --> 00:29:43,124 WORST PART. 957 00:29:43,124 --> 00:29:44,292 >> Jimmy: ONCE THE SEASON 958 00:29:44,292 --> 00:29:46,428 STARTS, YOU'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD 959 00:29:46,428 --> 00:29:48,229 EXCUSE TO NOT GO TO ANY OF THAT 960 00:29:48,229 --> 00:29:48,430 STUFF. 961 00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:49,664 >> ABSOLUTELY. 962 00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:50,598 >> Jimmy: HOW MANY TICKETS DO 963 00:29:50,598 --> 00:29:52,434 YOU HAVE TO GET FOR THE FIRST 964 00:29:52,434 --> 00:29:52,834 HOME GAME? 965 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:54,302 WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTED TO DELIVER 966 00:29:54,302 --> 00:29:55,070 FOR THE FAMILY? 967 00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:57,072 >> RIGHT NOW IT'S VERY QUIET. 968 00:29:57,072 --> 00:29:59,474 I KNOW BY OCTOBER 15th‐ISH, IT'S 969 00:29:59,474 --> 00:30:02,010 GOING TO GET UGLY. 970 00:30:02,010 --> 00:30:03,011 >> Jimmy: SHOULD THEY ASK YOU 971 00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:06,047 EARLIER, OR IS IT BETTER TO WAIT 972 00:30:06,047 --> 00:30:07,115 TILL RIGHT BEFORE? 973 00:30:07,115 --> 00:30:10,485 >> DON'T ASK ME AT ALL. 974 00:30:10,485 --> 00:30:11,286 >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE SOMEBODY 975 00:30:11,286 --> 00:30:13,021 THAT YOU CAN GO HEY, CALL DAVE 976 00:30:13,021 --> 00:30:13,688 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 977 00:30:13,688 --> 00:30:15,924 >> I HAVE A FEW OF THOSE PEOPLE. 978 00:30:15,924 --> 00:30:18,159 BUT I'VE ALREADY TOLD THEM, AS 979 00:30:18,159 --> 00:30:19,327 WELL, WE'RE NOT DOING IT. 980 00:30:19,327 --> 00:30:20,128 >> Jimmy: NOT DOING THAT? 981 00:30:20,128 --> 00:30:22,797 >> WE'RE NOT DOING IT. 982 00:30:22,797 --> 00:30:25,367 MY PARENTS, WIFE, KIDS WILL BE 983 00:30:25,367 --> 00:30:26,301 THERE. 984 00:30:26,301 --> 00:30:28,203 FAMILY, CLOSE ONES, THAT'S IT. 985 00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:31,172 >> Reporter: HAVE YOU BEEN TO 986 00:30:31,172 --> 00:30:32,741 TACO TUESDAY AT LeBRON'S HOUSE 987 00:30:32,741 --> 00:30:32,907 YET? 988 00:30:32,907 --> 00:30:33,608 >> NO. 989 00:30:33,608 --> 00:30:37,045 I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE INVITE YET. 990 00:30:37,045 --> 00:30:39,147 >> Jimmy: YOU AND LeBRON AND 991 00:30:39,147 --> 00:30:41,049 ANTHONY DAVIS AND CARMELO 992 00:30:41,049 --> 00:30:42,617 ANTHONY PLAYED ON THE OLYMPIC 993 00:30:42,617 --> 00:30:44,719 TEAM IN WHAT, 2012 SNAFS 994 00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:47,088 >> YEAH. 995 00:30:47,088 --> 00:30:48,923 I THINK ANTHONY WAS JUST BORN AT 996 00:30:48,923 --> 00:30:49,357 THE TIME. 997 00:30:49,357 --> 00:30:51,226 >> Jimmy: AT THAT TIME, DID YOU 998 00:30:51,226 --> 00:30:54,162 GUYS DISCUSS ‐‐ DID ANY OF YOU 999 00:30:54,162 --> 00:30:55,330 SAY WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF WE 1000 00:30:55,330 --> 00:30:55,964 COULD PLAY TOGETHER? 1001 00:30:55,964 --> 00:31:03,004 >> IT'S CRAZY, BECAUSEMELO IN O. 1002 00:31:03,004 --> 00:31:05,006 WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT PLAYING 1003 00:31:05,006 --> 00:31:06,741 WITH EACH OTHER. 1004 00:31:06,741 --> 00:31:09,244 ME AND BRON HAVE BEEN FRIENDS 1005 00:31:09,244 --> 00:31:10,779 AND IT NEVER CAME UP. 1006 00:31:10,779 --> 00:31:13,114 AND THEN THIS SUMMER, BOOM. 1007 00:31:13,114 --> 00:31:14,549 THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'M A 1008 00:31:14,549 --> 00:31:14,749 LAKER. 1009 00:31:14,749 --> 00:31:18,486 IT HAPPENED SO QUICK. 1010 00:31:18,486 --> 00:31:21,122 WE TALKED BEFORE, BUT NOTHING 1011 00:31:21,122 --> 00:31:21,790 ABOUT ‐‐ 1012 00:31:21,790 --> 00:31:22,624 >> Jimmy: THEY DIDN'T TRY TO 1013 00:31:22,624 --> 00:31:25,126 TELL YOU ON COMING HERE? 1014 00:31:25,126 --> 00:31:27,028 >> NOT TOO MUCH YOU HAVE TO SELL 1015 00:31:27,028 --> 00:31:29,831 ABOUT COMING TO L. A. 1016 00:31:29,831 --> 00:31:30,265 EASY SELL. 1017 00:31:30,265 --> 00:31:31,166 >> Jimmy: INTERESTING. 1018 00:31:31,166 --> 00:31:32,300 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS, 1019 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:34,369 BUT YOU'RE ALREADY ON A MURAL 1020 00:31:34,369 --> 00:31:35,570 HERE IN TOWN. 1021 00:31:35,570 --> 00:31:37,572 AN ARTIST NAMED ROYAL DOG 1022 00:31:37,572 --> 00:31:40,475 PAINTED YOU. 1023 00:31:40,475 --> 00:31:42,210 AND YOU CAN SEE YOU AND LeBRON, 1024 00:31:42,210 --> 00:31:43,645 WHICH IS PRETTY COOL. 1025 00:31:43,645 --> 00:31:45,680 ALSO, THAT'S MY TRANS AM. 1026 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,048 IT'S WEIRD THAT IT HAPPENS TO BE 1027 00:31:47,048 --> 00:31:48,450 IN THAT SHOT. 1028 00:31:48,450 --> 00:31:49,918 I PARKED IT RIGHT BETWEEN THOSE 1029 00:31:49,918 --> 00:31:50,485 TWO TRUCKS. 1030 00:31:50,485 --> 00:31:52,020 THAT'S A NICE WELCOME HOME, 1031 00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:52,687 ISN'T IT? 1032 00:31:52,687 --> 00:31:54,255 >> THESE AMAZING. 1033 00:31:54,255 --> 00:31:56,458 I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BY AND SEE 1034 00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:56,624 IT. 1035 00:31:56,624 --> 00:31:58,226 I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS, BUT 1036 00:31:58,226 --> 00:32:04,299 WHEN I FIND OUT, I'M GOING TO GO 1037 00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:05,066 SEE IT. 1038 00:32:05,066 --> 00:32:07,402 >> Jimmy: WE'LL TELL YOU WHERE 1039 00:32:07,402 --> 00:32:07,836 IT IS. 1040 00:32:07,836 --> 00:32:10,305 YOU ARE THE ALL‐TIME NBA LEADER 1041 00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:12,140 WHEN IT COMES TO TRIPLE‐DOUBLES, 1042 00:32:12,140 --> 00:32:18,379 WHICH IS REALLY AMAZING. 1043 00:32:18,379 --> 00:32:19,914 [ APP 1044 00:32:19,914 --> 00:32:20,215 [ APPLAUSE ] 1045 00:32:20,215 --> 00:32:21,149 TRIPLE‐DOUBLES IS POINTS, 1046 00:32:21,149 --> 00:32:22,951 REBOUNDS, ASSISTS, OR STEALS 1047 00:32:22,951 --> 00:32:23,818 ALSO. 1048 00:32:23,818 --> 00:32:26,554 YOU CAN GET A QUADRUPLE DOUBLE 1049 00:32:26,554 --> 00:32:26,955 THEORETICALLY. 1050 00:32:26,955 --> 00:32:28,056 >> YES. 1051 00:32:28,056 --> 00:32:28,623 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF 1052 00:32:28,623 --> 00:32:29,557 ANYBODY EVER HAS. 1053 00:32:29,557 --> 00:32:30,692 >> A FEW PEOPLE. 1054 00:32:30,692 --> 00:32:31,659 >> Jimmy: SO IS THAT SOMETHING 1055 00:32:31,659 --> 00:32:33,394 YOU'RE AWARE OF WHEN YOU'RE 1056 00:32:33,394 --> 00:32:33,628 PLAYING? 1057 00:32:33,628 --> 00:32:37,031 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 1058 00:32:37,031 --> 00:32:38,500 SOMETIMES THROUGHOUT THE GAME 1059 00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,002 YOU KIND OF ‐‐ IT CAN FEEL LIKE 1060 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:42,737 YOU'RE GETTING CLOSE. 1061 00:32:42,737 --> 00:32:45,406 YOU HAVE NINE OR TEN ASSIST, 1062 00:32:45,406 --> 00:32:46,441 POINTS, REBOUNDS. 1063 00:32:46,441 --> 00:32:48,576 YOU OBVIOUSLY SEE THE STATS. 1064 00:32:48,576 --> 00:32:51,479 BUT FOR ME, WHEN I'M PLAYING, I 1065 00:32:51,479 --> 00:32:53,248 TRY NOT TO GET TRIPLE‐DOUBLES 1066 00:32:53,248 --> 00:32:54,582 THAT ARE LIKE 10, 10, 10. 1067 00:32:54,582 --> 00:32:57,118 I LIKE TO GET OUTRAGEOUS AND GO 1068 00:32:57,118 --> 00:32:59,254 20, 20, 20. 1069 00:32:59,254 --> 00:33:03,258 [ APPLAUSE ] 1070 00:33:03,258 --> 00:33:04,826 >> Jimmy: I THINK I SAID THIS TO 1071 00:33:04,826 --> 00:33:06,828 YOU LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, AND 1072 00:33:06,828 --> 00:33:08,563 I'M GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN, YOU 1073 00:33:08,563 --> 00:33:10,832 SEEM SO INTENSE AND FEARSOME ON 1074 00:33:10,832 --> 00:33:12,066 THE COURT. 1075 00:33:12,066 --> 00:33:13,935 AND THEN YOU SEEM AS NICE AS CAN 1076 00:33:13,935 --> 00:33:14,369 BE IN REAL LIFE. 1077 00:33:14,369 --> 00:33:17,805 I GUESS THAT'S KIND OF WHAT THE 1078 00:33:17,805 --> 00:33:18,206 DOCUMENTARY SHOWS. 1079 00:33:18,206 --> 00:33:19,741 >> YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 1080 00:33:19,741 --> 00:33:21,543 I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE DOC. 1081 00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:23,077 I HOPE EVERYONE ACROSS THE WORLD 1082 00:33:23,077 --> 00:33:24,078 GETS TO SEE IT. 1083 00:33:24,078 --> 00:33:27,048 THE REASON I DID IT IS FOR THAT 1084 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:27,682 EXACT REASON. 1085 00:33:27,682 --> 00:33:29,784 A LOT OF PEOPLE SEE ME ON THE 1086 00:33:29,784 --> 00:33:32,420 FLOOR, I'M VERY PASSIONATE AND I 1087 00:33:32,420 --> 00:33:34,022 LIKE TO COMPETE AT A HIGH LEVEL. 1088 00:33:34,022 --> 00:33:36,724 BUT PEOPLE THINK THAT'S WHO I 1089 00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:39,460 AM, AND THAT'S ‐‐ 1090 00:33:39,460 --> 00:33:40,261 >> Jimmy: LINE THE NBA VERSION 1091 00:33:40,261 --> 00:33:45,266 OF RESTING BITCH FACE. 1092 00:33:45,266 --> 00:33:46,801 YOU SEEM MAD, BUT YOU'RE NOT 1093 00:33:46,801 --> 00:33:47,101 MAD. 1094 00:33:47,101 --> 00:33:49,671 >> NO, I'M JUST COMPETING. 1095 00:33:49,671 --> 00:33:52,307 AND THEN MY PASSION PLAY GIVES 1096 00:33:52,307 --> 00:33:53,341 THE VIEWERS AN OPPORTUNITY TO 1097 00:33:53,341 --> 00:33:56,377 BETTER SEE WHO I AM ON A 1098 00:33:56,377 --> 00:33:56,911 DAY‐TO‐DAY BASIS. 1099 00:33:56,911 --> 00:33:59,180 THE THINGS I LOVE TO DO, THE 1100 00:33:59,180 --> 00:34:03,217 THINGS I DON'T LIKE TO DO. 1101 00:34:03,217 --> 00:34:05,086 WHO I GENUINELY AM. 1102 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:07,455 >> Jimmy: DO YOU MIND SHARING 1103 00:34:07,455 --> 00:34:10,425 THE STORY YOU SHARED ABOUT 1104 00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:11,359 PLAYING AGAINST KOBE BRYANT IN 1105 00:34:11,359 --> 00:34:11,793 COLLEGE IF 1106 00:34:11,793 --> 00:34:14,162 >> THIS ONE TIME GOING INTO MY 1107 00:34:14,162 --> 00:34:15,997 SOPHOMORE SEASON AT UCLA, A LOT 1108 00:34:15,997 --> 00:34:18,099 OF PICKUP GAMES AT UCLA WOULD 1109 00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:18,700 HAPPEN. 1110 00:34:18,700 --> 00:34:20,868 A LOT OF SUPERSTARS WOULD COME. 1111 00:34:20,868 --> 00:34:23,204 THIS PARTICULAR DAY, KOBE CAME. 1112 00:34:23,204 --> 00:34:25,006 AND NOW I'M SUPER HYPED AND 1113 00:34:25,006 --> 00:34:26,307 SUPER JUICED. 1114 00:34:26,307 --> 00:34:28,042 >> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE YOU AT 1115 00:34:28,042 --> 00:34:28,343 THIS POINT? 1116 00:34:28,343 --> 00:34:30,912 >> 16, 17. 1117 00:34:30,912 --> 00:34:32,780 I'M SUPER HYPED, AND I'M JUST 1118 00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:35,216 EXCITED TO COMPETE, BECAUSE TO 1119 00:34:35,216 --> 00:34:36,884 ME, KOBE IS THE BEST IN THE 1120 00:34:36,884 --> 00:34:37,919 WORLD. 1121 00:34:37,919 --> 00:34:38,286 >> Jimmy: YEAH. 1122 00:34:38,286 --> 00:34:39,921 >> I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO 1123 00:34:39,921 --> 00:34:41,556 COMPETE AND THEN KOBE, YOU KNOW, 1124 00:34:41,556 --> 00:34:43,458 NOT GOING BACK AND FORTH BECAUSE 1125 00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:44,826 HE WAS BASICALLY KILLING ME. 1126 00:34:44,826 --> 00:34:47,428 BUT THAT'S OKAY. 1127 00:34:47,428 --> 00:34:49,330 BUT THE NUMBER ONE LESSON I GOT 1128 00:34:49,330 --> 00:34:50,665 IN THAT, WATCHING HIM AND TO 1129 00:34:50,665 --> 00:34:54,435 THIS DAY, I THINK WE ALL KNOW 1130 00:34:54,435 --> 00:34:55,937 THE MAMBA MENTALITY. 1131 00:34:55,937 --> 00:34:57,071 BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND 1132 00:34:57,071 --> 00:34:58,473 WATCHING HIM, HE WAS COMPETING 1133 00:34:58,473 --> 00:34:59,374 LIKE IT WAS THE FINALS. 1134 00:34:59,374 --> 00:35:01,142 TO ME, IT WAS SO INSPIRING, 1135 00:35:01,142 --> 00:35:02,644 BECAUSE IT ALLOWED ME TO 1136 00:35:02,644 --> 00:35:03,578 UNDERSTAND THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED 1137 00:35:03,578 --> 00:35:07,915 TO BE LIKE, REGARD LSLESS OF WH 1138 00:35:07,915 --> 00:35:08,316 YOU ARE. 1139 00:35:08,316 --> 00:35:10,318 AND I TOOK THAT AND RAN WITH IT. 1140 00:35:10,318 --> 00:35:11,886 >> Jimmy: IF YOU PLAY VERY, VERY 1141 00:35:11,886 --> 00:35:13,621 HARD AT ALL TIMES, IT COMES 1142 00:35:13,621 --> 00:35:15,923 EASIER AT THE TIMES WHEN YOU 1143 00:35:15,923 --> 00:35:17,158 REALLY ARE EXPECTED TO PLAY 1144 00:35:17,158 --> 00:35:17,892 HARD. 1145 00:35:17,892 --> 00:35:18,459 >> ABSOLUTELY. 1146 00:35:18,459 --> 00:35:20,695 ONCE YOU LEAVE IT OUT ON THE 1147 00:35:20,695 --> 00:35:22,130 LINE, I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS 1148 00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:24,499 GAME HAS GIVEN ME SUCH AN 1149 00:35:24,499 --> 00:35:26,200 UNBELIEVABLE PLATFORM TO HELP 1150 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,702 AND INSPIRE PEOPLE ACROSS THE 1151 00:35:27,702 --> 00:35:28,036 WORLD. 1152 00:35:28,036 --> 00:35:29,837 SO ANY OPPORTUNITY I HAVE, I DO 1153 00:35:29,837 --> 00:35:31,773 IT EVERY TIME. 1154 00:35:31,773 --> 00:35:32,373 [ APPLAUSE ] 1155 00:35:32,373 --> 00:35:35,243 >> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK PLAYERS 1156 00:35:35,243 --> 00:35:38,579 AND ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY I KNOW YOUR 1157 00:35:38,579 --> 00:35:40,815 APPROACH, BUT IT SEEMS ALMOST 1158 00:35:40,815 --> 00:35:43,117 NECESSARY FOR A GUY LIKE LeBRON 1159 00:35:43,117 --> 00:35:45,086 JAMES TO NOT PLAY AS HARD IN THE 1160 00:35:45,086 --> 00:35:46,521 REGULAR SEASON, AND TO PLAY AS 1161 00:35:46,521 --> 00:35:48,423 HARD AS HE CAN IN THE PLAYOFFS, 1162 00:35:48,423 --> 00:35:51,292 JUST SO THAT HIS BODY IS HEALTHY 1163 00:35:51,292 --> 00:35:52,226 ENOUGH TO PLAY. 1164 00:35:52,226 --> 00:35:54,696 >> YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS GOT 1165 00:35:54,696 --> 00:35:56,664 DIFFERENT APPROACHES, AND I 1166 00:35:56,664 --> 00:35:59,734 THINK I WAS ABLE TO LEARN THAT, 1167 00:35:59,734 --> 00:36:00,501 BEING AROUND THEM. 1168 00:36:00,501 --> 00:36:02,603 BUT I DO KNOW JUST FOR ME 1169 00:36:02,603 --> 00:36:03,838 PERSNALLY, I KNOW THAT THE GAME 1170 00:36:03,838 --> 00:36:05,907 IS NOT PROMISED TO ME. 1171 00:36:05,907 --> 00:36:07,308 I KNOW TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED 1172 00:36:07,308 --> 00:36:08,576 TO ME AT ALL. 1173 00:36:08,576 --> 00:36:09,744 SO EVERY TIME I STEP ON THE 1174 00:36:09,744 --> 00:36:11,112 FLOOR, I GIVE EVERYTHING I HAVE. 1175 00:36:11,112 --> 00:36:13,815 YOU KNOW, I WAKE UP THE DAY AND 1176 00:36:13,815 --> 00:36:15,817 DO THE SAME THING AGAIN. 1177 00:36:15,817 --> 00:36:17,018 >> Jimmy: DO YOU GUARANTEE THE 1178 00:36:17,018 --> 00:36:22,090 LAKERS ARE GOING TO WIN AN NBA 1179 00:36:22,090 --> 00:36:22,490 TITLE THIS SEASON? 1180 00:36:22,490 --> 00:36:24,525 >> WELL, GUARANTEE? 1181 00:36:24,525 --> 00:36:25,827 I LIKE OUR CHANCES. 1182 00:36:25,827 --> 00:36:28,029 >> Jimmy: I HIKE YOUR CHANCES, 1183 00:36:28,029 --> 00:36:28,296 TOO. 1184 00:36:28,296 --> 00:36:31,199 WHY NUMBER ZERO? 1185 00:36:31,199 --> 00:36:33,501 >> ZERO, LIKE WHEN I FIRST GOT 1186 00:36:33,501 --> 00:36:36,738 TO UCLA, I WAS THINKING AS ZERO 1187 00:36:36,738 --> 00:36:38,106 LIKE A NEW BEGINNING, A NEW 1188 00:36:38,106 --> 00:36:39,974 CHAPTER MY LIFE AND I ALWAYS 1189 00:36:39,974 --> 00:36:40,975 START FROM GROUND ZERO. 1190 00:36:40,975 --> 00:36:43,211 THAT'S THE REASON I CHOSE ZERO 1191 00:36:43,211 --> 00:36:43,644 AGAIN. 1192 00:36:43,644 --> 00:36:46,447 >> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. 1193 00:36:46,447 --> 00:36:50,451 YOUR DOCUMENTARY IS CALLED 1194 00:36:50,451 --> 00:36:52,854 "PASSION PLAY: RUSSELL 1195 00:36:52,854 --> 00:36:54,188 WESTBROOK" AND IT PREMIERES 1196 00:36:54,188 --> 00:36:54,889 OCTOBER 15th ON SHOWTIME AND THE 1197 00:36:54,889 --> 00:36:55,890 LAKERS OPEN THE 2021 NBA SEASON 1198 00:36:55,890 --> 00:36:57,091 VERSUS THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS 1199 00:36:57,091 --> 00:36:59,494 OCTOBER 19th ON TNT. 1200 00:36:59,494 --> 00:37:00,628 RUSSELL WESTBROOK, EVERYBODY. 1201 00:37:00,628 --> 00:37:01,462 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC 1202 00:37:01,462 --> 00:37:03,464 FROM ALICE MERTON. 1203 00:37:09,771 --> 00:37:10,404 >> Dicky: "THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE 1204 00:37:10,404 --> 00:37:11,038 CONCERT SERIES" IS PRESENTED BY 1205 00:37:11,038 --> 00:37:12,874 MERCEDES‐BENZ. 1206 00:37:12,874 --> 00:37:15,910 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 1207 00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:18,412 >> Jimmy: NOW FOR A LITTLE 1208 00:37:18,412 --> 00:37:19,113 MUSIC. 1209 00:37:19,113 --> 00:37:20,548 IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN HERE WITH 1210 00:37:20,548 --> 00:37:21,749 HER SONG "VERTIGO." 1211 00:37:21,749 --> 00:37:27,088 ALICE MERTON! 1212 00:37:27,088 --> 00:37:27,555 ♪ 1213 00:37:27,555 --> 00:37:28,523 ♪ HANDS ARE SWEATY 1214 00:37:28,523 --> 00:37:30,424 MY HEART BEATS HEAVY ♪ 1215 00:37:30,424 --> 00:37:31,325 ♪ THERE'S SOMETHING 1216 00:37:31,325 --> 00:37:31,726 OUT THERE I SWEAR 1217 00:37:31,726 --> 00:37:35,596 I'M NOT READY ♪ 1218 00:37:35,596 --> 00:37:38,466 ♪ AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW 1219 00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:42,470 WHERE TO GO FROM HERE ♪ 1220 00:37:42,470 --> 00:37:43,070 ♪ THE SOUND'S GETTING LOUDER 1221 00:37:43,070 --> 00:37:45,773 THE FLOOR STARTS SHAKING ♪ 1222 00:37:45,773 --> 00:37:46,774 ♪ EVERYBODY'S FEELING IT 1223 00:37:46,774 --> 00:37:49,877 WHY CAN'T I FEEL IT, NO 1224 00:37:49,877 --> 00:37:53,381 WHY CAN'T I JUST LET IT GO ♪ 1225 00:37:53,381 --> 00:37:57,752 ♪ 'CAUSE ALL I CAN FEEL 1226 00:37:57,752 --> 00:38:02,423 IS VERTIGO OH‐OH‐OH ♪ 1227 00:38:02,423 --> 00:38:03,758 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1228 00:38:03,758 --> 00:38:05,026 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1229 00:38:05,026 --> 00:38:05,326 ♪ GOTTA GET 1230 00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:05,693 OUTTA MY HEAD ♪ 1231 00:38:05,693 --> 00:38:06,527 ♪ DO SOMETHING 1232 00:38:06,527 --> 00:38:07,628 THAT I'LL REGRET ♪ 1233 00:38:07,628 --> 00:38:08,095 ♪ HE'S DANCING NOW 1234 00:38:08,095 --> 00:38:09,797 WITH SOMEONE HE MET ♪ 1235 00:38:09,797 --> 00:38:10,231 ♪ LOSING MY SANITY 1236 00:38:10,231 --> 00:38:12,333 GET RID OF MY VANITY ♪ 1237 00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:14,468 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL IS 1238 00:38:14,468 --> 00:38:15,770 FEEL IS ♪ 1239 00:38:15,770 --> 00:38:16,704 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1240 00:38:16,704 --> 00:38:23,010 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1241 00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:23,511 ♪ THEIR FACES SEEM DEADLY 1242 00:38:23,511 --> 00:38:26,714 IT JUST GOT MESSY ♪ 1243 00:38:26,714 --> 00:38:28,549 ♪ HIS EYES BLOODSHOT 1244 00:38:28,549 --> 00:38:31,586 BUT HE'S GOING IN STEADY ♪ 1245 00:38:31,586 --> 00:38:38,426 ♪ AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW 1246 00:38:38,426 --> 00:38:42,263 WHY I'M STILL HERE ♪ 1247 00:38:42,263 --> 00:38:42,864 ♪ AND MY HEAD KEEPS POUNDING 1248 00:38:42,864 --> 00:38:43,431 MY FEET ARE STILL HURTING ♪ 1249 00:38:43,431 --> 00:38:43,965 ♪ I THINK I LOST SIGHT 1250 00:38:43,965 --> 00:38:44,799 OF WHERE I WAS GOING ♪ 1251 00:38:44,799 --> 00:38:46,534 ♪ AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW 1252 00:38:46,534 --> 00:38:50,438 WHERE TO GO FROM HERE ♪ 1253 00:38:50,438 --> 00:38:54,408 ♪ 'CAUSE ALL I CAN FEEL 1254 00:38:54,408 --> 00:38:54,876 IS VERTIGO OH‐OH‐OH ♪ 1255 00:38:54,876 --> 00:38:57,745 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1256 00:38:57,745 --> 00:39:02,416 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1257 00:39:02,416 --> 00:39:02,984 ♪ GOTTA GET 1258 00:39:02,984 --> 00:39:03,451 OUTTA MY HEAD ♪ 1259 00:39:03,451 --> 00:39:04,185 ♪ DO SOMETHING 1260 00:39:04,185 --> 00:39:05,653 THAT I'LL REGRET ♪ 1261 00:39:05,653 --> 00:39:06,387 ♪ HE'S DANCING NOW 1262 00:39:06,387 --> 00:39:06,854 WITH SOMEONE HE MET ♪ 1263 00:39:06,854 --> 00:39:07,955 ♪ LOSING MY SANITY 1264 00:39:07,955 --> 00:39:08,456 GET RID OF MY VANITY ♪ 1265 00:39:08,456 --> 00:39:08,890 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL IS 1266 00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:09,156 FEEL IS ♪ 1267 00:39:09,156 --> 00:39:13,461 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1268 00:39:13,461 --> 00:39:13,794 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1269 00:39:13,794 --> 00:39:14,462 ♪ GOTTA GET 1270 00:39:14,462 --> 00:39:15,763 OUTTA MY HEAD ♪ 1271 00:39:15,763 --> 00:39:17,298 ♪ DO SOMETHING 1272 00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:17,732 THAT I'LL REGRET ♪ 1273 00:39:17,732 --> 00:39:19,867 ♪ HE'S DANCING NOW 1274 00:39:19,867 --> 00:39:21,802 WITH SOMEONE HE MET ♪ 1275 00:39:21,802 --> 00:39:23,371 ♪ LOSING MY SANITY 1276 00:39:23,371 --> 00:39:24,205 GET RID OF MY VANITY ♪ 1277 00:39:24,205 --> 00:39:24,705 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL IS 1278 00:39:24,705 --> 00:39:26,507 FEEL IS ♪ 1279 00:39:26,507 --> 00:39:27,775 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1280 00:39:27,775 --> 00:39:31,712 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1281 00:39:31,712 --> 00:39:38,419 ♪ CAUGHT INSIDE 1282 00:39:38,419 --> 00:39:39,754 OF A DARK NIGHT OUT ♪ 1283 00:39:39,754 --> 00:39:42,857 ♪ LEFT ME STANDING 1284 00:39:42,857 --> 00:39:50,464 BY MYSELF 1285 00:39:50,464 --> 00:39:51,866 UNDER YOUR CONTROL ♪ 1286 00:39:51,866 --> 00:39:54,535 ♪ 'CAUSE ALL I CAN FEEL 1287 00:39:54,535 --> 00:40:02,176 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1288 00:40:02,176 --> 00:40:03,744 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL IS 1289 00:40:03,744 --> 00:40:05,546 FEEL IS ♪ 1290 00:40:05,546 --> 00:40:08,683 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1291 00:40:08,683 --> 00:40:09,750 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1292 00:40:09,750 --> 00:40:10,051 ♪ GOTTA GET 1293 00:40:10,051 --> 00:40:10,518 OUTTA MY HEAD ♪ 1294 00:40:10,518 --> 00:40:10,885 ♪ DO SOMETHING 1295 00:40:10,885 --> 00:40:13,421 THAT I'LL REGRET ♪ 1296 00:40:13,421 --> 00:40:14,422 ♪ HE'S DANCING NOW 1297 00:40:14,422 --> 00:40:14,889 WITH SOMEONE HE MET ♪ 1298 00:40:14,889 --> 00:40:15,756 ♪ LOSING MY SANITY 1299 00:40:15,756 --> 00:40:17,091 GET RID OF MY VANITY ♪ 1300 00:40:17,091 --> 00:40:18,426 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL IS 1301 00:40:18,426 --> 00:40:20,861 FEEL IS ♪ 1302 00:40:20,861 --> 00:40:26,467 ♪ ALL I CAN FEEL 1303 00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:27,134 IS VERTIGO ♪ 1304 00:40:27,134 --> 00:40:29,704 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1305 00:40:29,704 --> 00:40:30,338 >> Dicky: "THE JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE 1306 00:40:30,338 --> 00:40:30,972 CONCERT SERIES" IS PRESENTED BY 1307 00:40:30,972 --> 00:40:32,139 MERCEDES‐BENZ. 1308 00:40:32,139 --> 00:40:34,408 THE BEST OR NOTHING. 1309 00:40:37,812 --> 00:40:39,313 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK 1310 00:40:39,313 --> 00:40:40,648 JOHN STAMOS, RUSSELL WESTBROOK, 1311 00:40:40,648 --> 00:40:41,048 AND ALICE MERTON. 1312 00:40:41,048 --> 00:40:43,384 APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON. 1313 00:40:43,384 --> 00:40:43,951 WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM. 1314 00:40:43,951 --> 00:40:44,652 TOMORROW NIGHT ‐‐ 1315 00:40:44,652 --> 00:40:45,987 RAMI MALEK AND MELISSA BENOIST 1316 00:40:45,987 --> 00:40:47,321 WITH MUSIC FROM OLD DOMINION. 1317 00:40:47,321 --> 00:40:48,889 "NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT. 1318 00:40:48,889 --> 00:40:49,590 THANKS FOR WATCHING. 1319 00:40:49,590 --> 00:40:50,124 DON'T FORGET TO PUT THAT 1320 00:40:50,124 --> 00:40:50,725 CIGARETTE OUT BEFORE YOU FALL 1321 00:40:50,725 --> 00:40:52,293 ASLEEP! 1322 00:40:52,293 --> 00:40:52,526 GOODNIGHT.