1 00:00:02,149 --> 00:00:04,179 Hey, Holly, could you put the gourds in the horn of plenty? 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,219 Oh, sure. Hey, Gary, would you grab that thing? 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,060 Oh, sure. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,150 What's that? 5 00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:12,150 Just give it to me. 6 00:00:12,169 --> 00:00:14,099 I'm sorry. Uh, speak up. 7 00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:18,079 Hm, that joke kills at my house. 8 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,140 I'm so glad we decided to have Thanksgiving here this year. 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,039 I do not know if I could take another year at Aunt Wanda's. 10 00:00:24,059 --> 00:00:25,120 Is she really that bad? 11 00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:28,179 Dinner there is like a last meal in prison. 12 00:00:28,199 --> 00:00:31,059 Except you don't get to die. 13 00:00:31,079 --> 00:00:33,210 If you guys hated it so much, why did you always go? 14 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:36,170 Well, because I have a very healthy sense of self worth. 15 00:00:36,189 --> 00:00:38,210 So once a year it's nice to go to Aunt Wanda's 16 00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:40,170 and have her crush my spirit 17 00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:42,130 by criticizing my posture, career 18 00:00:42,149 --> 00:00:45,109 and man-repellent hairdo. 19 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:48,070 Well, you can tell her that your hairdo snagged me. 20 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,119 Oh, no. She'd hate you. 21 00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,109 Well, at least she doesn't treat you like a baby. 22 00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:57,000 Where's my Holly-Wolly-Woo-Woo? 23 00:00:57,020 --> 00:01:00,130 Right here, getting ready to punch you in the neck! 24 00:01:00,149 --> 00:01:02,090 Thank you so much for getting us out of that. 25 00:01:02,109 --> 00:01:04,230 Well, I have been scared of her long enough. 26 00:01:05,010 --> 00:01:06,159 It was time to take a stand. 27 00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:08,069 Hey, since we're having Thanksgiving here 28 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,109 we don't have to dress up, do we? 29 00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:10,170 - Nope. - 'Ooh.' 30 00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:12,099 Can we eat pumpkin pie first? 31 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,230 We can do whatever we want. 32 00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:17,150 Can we do sick amounts of Internet shopping? 33 00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:19,120 What does that have to do with Thanksgiving? 34 00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:22,069 You said we could do whatever we wanted. 35 00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,210 Well, I'm just glad that I'm spending Thanksgiving here 36 00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:28,069 instead of at the annual Thorpe family codfish extravaganza. 37 00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:29,079 Codfish? 38 00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:31,140 You don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving? 39 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:34,109 Oh, no, no, no. Turkey, sacred in my family. 40 00:01:34,129 --> 00:01:38,000 One actually saved my great-grandfather's life. 41 00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:40,099 Well, they are known for their heroism. 42 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,099 True, see, according to legend 43 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,069 my great-grandfather was out taking a walk 44 00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:46,200 on Thanksgiving morning and got lost in the blizzard. 45 00:01:46,219 --> 00:01:48,090 Yeah, he wandered around for hours 46 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:52,069 until he came upon a wild turkey who led him back to safety. 47 00:01:52,090 --> 00:01:54,129 Yeah, and that brave bird was the last turkey 48 00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:57,150 my family ever ate. 49 00:01:57,170 --> 00:02:00,060 I mean, I love turkey, I'm kind of a connoisseur 50 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:02,120 if you will. Do you have your bird lined up? 51 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,040 'Cause I can point you in the right direction. 52 00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:05,079 [chuckles] 53 00:02:05,099 --> 00:02:07,049 You can point me in the right direction? 54 00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:11,199 Uh-uh. I'm the turkey expert. I am Mr. Turkey. 55 00:02:11,219 --> 00:02:13,139 - Whoa, whoa, I'm Mr. Turkey. - No, no, no. 56 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,199 Guys, not really a nickname you want to fight over. 57 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:20,120 I tell you what, you wanna learn some about turkeys 58 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:21,170 you come with me tomorrow. 59 00:02:21,189 --> 00:02:23,060 I'll introduce you to my turkey guy. 60 00:02:23,079 --> 00:02:24,090 Oh, no, no, no. 61 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,150 Y-you didn't just say 62 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,000 you're gonna go to one of your guys? 63 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:28,199 Oh, no, this isn't like my oral surgery guy. 64 00:02:28,219 --> 00:02:31,039 This guy knows what he's doing. 65 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:33,099 Well, it sounds kinda shady. I don't want a shady turkey. 66 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,129 Can't you just get one from the store? 67 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,180 No, no, no, no, this is 68 00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:37,090 your first Thanksgiving in your own home 69 00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:39,129 and I'm getting you the best turkey money can buy. 70 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:41,079 I just hope you know your way around a turkey. 71 00:02:41,099 --> 00:02:44,050 If there's one thing Mr. Turkey knows, it's turkey. 72 00:02:44,069 --> 00:02:45,199 Okay, next person who says turkey 73 00:02:45,219 --> 00:02:48,180 gets punched in the neck. 74 00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:54,150 ♪ I just wanna say life wouldn't be the same here without you ♪ 75 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,050 ♪ Without you ♪ ♪ Without you ♪ 76 00:02:56,069 --> 00:02:58,079 ♪ Through the good and bad ♪ 77 00:02:58,099 --> 00:03:01,030 ♪ Of all we've been through ♪ 78 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:04,060 ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ Hold on to me ♪ 79 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,000 ♪ And I'll return it ♪ 80 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,110 ♪ With nothin' less than all of me ♪ 81 00:03:09,129 --> 00:03:14,139 ♪ I'll never feel alone again ♪ 82 00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,210 ♪ As you walk beside me ♪♪ 83 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,090 [instrumental music] 84 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,229 Your guy sells turkeys out of a flower shop? 85 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,159 And I thought you said this wasn't gonna be shady. 86 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:42,050 - It's not shady. - There are actual shades. 87 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:46,189 And are you telling me this guy sells quality product? 88 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:50,199 Only if you think a slow-cooked MacArthur Red is quality. 89 00:03:50,219 --> 00:03:52,030 A MacArthur Red? 90 00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:55,120 What, the most succulent bird in North America? 91 00:03:55,139 --> 00:03:57,150 - You are the true Mr. Turkey. - Hm. 92 00:03:58,210 --> 00:03:59,229 Can I help you with somethin'? 93 00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:03,009 Uh, yeah, I think so. 94 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,129 Tommy sent me. 95 00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:07,210 You're here for the MacArthur Red. 96 00:04:12,129 --> 00:04:13,199 Ooh-hoo-hoo.. 97 00:04:15,009 --> 00:04:17,120 - Is he cool? - No, but he'll be okay. 98 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,220 You got the $200? 99 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,009 Right here. 100 00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:29,000 Hey, what's going on back there? 101 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,180 That's where I keep my high-end product. 102 00:04:31,199 --> 00:04:33,040 High-end? 103 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,159 A MacArthur Red's the best turkey on the planet. 104 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,220 That was true eight months ago. 105 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,110 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 106 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,230 - Wait, can I see it? - Why not? 107 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,029 (Gary) 'Oh, can we get him, please?' 108 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:53,060 I promise I'll take good care 109 00:04:53,079 --> 00:04:54,230 of him. 110 00:04:55,009 --> 00:04:58,029 - What is it? - This is a MacArthur Gold. 111 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,000 - A MacArthur Gold? - You've heard of it? 112 00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:03,040 Well, I've heard of it, sure, but-but I thought 113 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,060 it was just a myth like Bigfoot 114 00:05:06,079 --> 00:05:08,120 or that old you'll-go-blind thing. 115 00:05:09,189 --> 00:05:11,050 It looks delicious. 116 00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:14,129 That kind of turkey is not for eatin'. 117 00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:16,029 It's not? 118 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:18,199 Well, it's for eating, obviously. 119 00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,180 But you know what I mean. 120 00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:22,009 How much? 121 00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:24,019 Four hundred. 122 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,050 Yeah, I think we'll just stick with the MacArthur Red. 123 00:05:26,069 --> 00:05:27,139 - Come on, man. - Well, you know.. 124 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,170 While we're here, we ought to get 125 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:29,209 the girls some flowers. 126 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,180 Hey. 127 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:33,040 These flowers aren't for sale. 128 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,009 [instrumental music] 129 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,220 Hey, Val, check me out. 130 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,199 As a part of our new Thanksgiving tradition 131 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,060 I am going to spend the whole day 132 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,149 in a robe and slippers. 133 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,180 Oh. 134 00:05:48,159 --> 00:05:49,220 Go take a shower, get dressed. 135 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,040 - We're going to Aunt Wanda's. - What? 136 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,209 Yeah. I changed my mind. Let's go. 137 00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:56,189 But you can't change your mind. You already called to cancel. 138 00:05:56,209 --> 00:06:01,019 Actually, y-yeah, I-I may not have called. 139 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,000 What happened to you took a stand 140 00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,180 and you've been scared long enough? 141 00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:06,220 Well, as it turns out, I'm gonna be scared 142 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,139 just a little bit longer. 143 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,019 I can't believe you haven't called. 144 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,149 We've had this planned for weeks. 145 00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:14,220 Yeah, I-I wanted to, but I keep having 146 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,189 this recurring nightmare. 147 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,009 What is it? 148 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,149 We're at the Macy's Parade 149 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,170 and we look up and we see a giant Aunt-Wanda balloon 150 00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:24,079 chasing us. 151 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:27,089 Sh-she's pointing and laughing at my hair, and then you scream 152 00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,139 "It's not the haircut, it's the humidity!" 153 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,180 Then we all started break dancing. 154 00:06:31,199 --> 00:06:34,019 Yuck! 155 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,050 - It was just a dream. - No. 156 00:06:36,069 --> 00:06:38,069 It is a sign that we are supposed to go to Aunt Wanda's 157 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,000 and you need to work on this. 158 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,139 So do you. 159 00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:46,110 Fine, go, because I'm staying here. 160 00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:48,050 I'm not afraid of Aunt Wanda. 161 00:06:48,069 --> 00:06:51,110 You didn't see her in balloon form. 162 00:06:51,129 --> 00:06:54,029 Don't you know what the first Thanksgiving was all about? 163 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:56,120 The Pilgrims came all the way to America 164 00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:58,069 so they wouldn't have to spend another holiday 165 00:06:58,090 --> 00:07:01,079 with their annoying English relatives. 166 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,089 Look, if you don't call her, I will. 167 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:08,000 No. Uh.. Fine, I will do it. I'm an adult. 168 00:07:08,019 --> 00:07:10,139 - What are you gonna say? - I'm gonna tell her the truth. 169 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,170 And if she doesn't like that, well, that's just too bad. 170 00:07:13,189 --> 00:07:15,040 Okay. 171 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,139 Hi, Aunt Wanda. It's Valerie. 172 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,000 Listen, Holly and I aren't gonna be able to make it 173 00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:22,009 for Thanksgiving this year. 174 00:07:22,029 --> 00:07:23,040 Why? 175 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,079 [inaudible] 176 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,230 Uh, well, the truth is 177 00:07:28,009 --> 00:07:30,189 and you may not like hearing this 178 00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:34,019 but, uh, Holly's very sick. 179 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,189 I-I'll keep you posted. Happy Thanksgiving. 180 00:07:38,129 --> 00:07:40,009 Don't look at me like that. 181 00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:44,220 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean wuss out. 182 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,019 [instrumental music] 183 00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:51,180 You know, the MacArthur Red has a higher IQ 184 00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:54,090 than any other breed of turkey. 185 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:56,129 Yeah? What's its IQ? 186 00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:57,230 Eight. 187 00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:00,189 Sure is a nice turkey. 188 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:03,040 Yes, it is. 189 00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:06,110 You should feel really good about that turkey. 190 00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:10,050 - I do. - Good! Good! 191 00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:13,100 'Cause i-i-it's great to feel good. 192 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,060 Why wouldn't I feel good about it? 193 00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:18,060 Oh, no reason. I just don't want you to feel like you settled. 194 00:08:18,079 --> 00:08:20,149 - I don't. - Good! Good! 195 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:23,040 'Cause if second-best is good enough for Mr. Turkey 196 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,180 it's good enough for me. 197 00:08:25,199 --> 00:08:27,199 By the way, you can trust me. 198 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:30,019 I won't tell Val anything. 199 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,100 - About what? - Well.. 200 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,029 You promised Val the best turkey money can buy. 201 00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:36,179 And that turkey just happens to be sitting in a flower shop 202 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,129 under a disco ball. 203 00:08:40,009 --> 00:08:42,179 Yeah, but $400 is a lot of money for a turkey. 204 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:47,000 I know, I know. But this really isn't about a turkey, is it? 205 00:08:47,019 --> 00:08:49,220 This is about you and Val. 206 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,049 - What? - Oh, yeah! 207 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:55,009 But it's best not to put a price on the relationship 208 00:08:55,029 --> 00:08:57,129 especially if it's under $400. 209 00:09:00,190 --> 00:09:05,120 Here, you hold it. It disgusts me now! 210 00:09:05,139 --> 00:09:08,159 [instrumental music] 211 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,000 Maybe we should try this tablecloth. 212 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,120 No! This one's perfect. 213 00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:17,019 The table looks beautiful. We should take a picture. 214 00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,139 Actually, there already is one. 215 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,059 See? 216 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,080 Now all we need is a cocker spaniel 217 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,220 asleep next to a roaring fireplace. 218 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,110 Hey, I could put my sock monkey next to the stove. 219 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:30,120 That'll work. 220 00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:32,000 Hey, remember what we were doin' 221 00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:33,159 at Aunt Wanda's this time last year? 222 00:09:33,179 --> 00:09:37,029 Yeah, dad was in the living room pretending to like football 223 00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:41,059 and we were in the kitchen, pretending to like Aunt Wanda. 224 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,009 Oh, yeah, and she insisted on playing 225 00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:46,029 that freaky, antique music machine. 226 00:09:46,049 --> 00:09:48,009 You mean, the record player? 227 00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:50,070 That's the one. 228 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,159 [knocking on door] Ooh, I'll get it. 229 00:09:51,179 --> 00:09:54,000 It's probably the guys with the turkey. 230 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,090 Aunt Wanda? Oh! 231 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,200 It's here. 232 00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:03,200 [instrumental music] 233 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,120 [instrumental music] 234 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,019 - She's here? - Yeah, she's here. 235 00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:12,000 - Aunt Wanda's here? - Yes. What am I gonna do? 236 00:10:12,019 --> 00:10:13,039 - Hide! - I can't hide. 237 00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:15,159 - She's already seen me. - Sucks for you. 238 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:17,039 I'm gonna hit the fire escape. 239 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:18,080 (Aunt Wanda) 'Holly?' 240 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,190 'Holly, are you in there?' 241 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:21,049 And I may jump. 242 00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,049 Holly, get back in here 243 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,220 and get rid of all this Thanksgiving stuff. 244 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,059 - I'll go out there, stall her. - Wait, or we escape together. 245 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,129 Change our names and get a fresh start in Cincinnati. 246 00:10:30,149 --> 00:10:33,200 Hm. No, no. uh, just get moving. 247 00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:36,179 Aunt Wanda. 248 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,090 Well, wh-why are y-you here? 249 00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:41,090 I came to check on Holly. 250 00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:44,009 Why did you slam the door in my face? 251 00:10:44,029 --> 00:10:46,149 Uh, germs. Yeah, Holly's got germs. 252 00:10:46,169 --> 00:10:49,039 And they're everywhere. Ugh! Yeah. 253 00:10:49,059 --> 00:10:51,110 You better get going. Ugh! 254 00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:01,000 Oh! Stupid horn of plenty! Oh.. 255 00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,139 Are you going to let me in or not? 256 00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:03,210 Uh, sure, yeah, uh.. 257 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:06,129 But first I want to ask you a question. 258 00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,159 Okay. 259 00:11:07,179 --> 00:11:10,149 Uh, what's up? 260 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,179 - Oh, Valerie! - No! Uh, you know.. 261 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,230 You haven't said anything about my new haircut. 262 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,159 - I think it's very flattering. - You do? 263 00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:21,149 Yes. It draws attention away from your ears. 264 00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:29,230 [clattering] 265 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,149 (Valerie) 'I'm opening the door now.' 266 00:11:36,169 --> 00:11:38,129 Oh! 267 00:11:40,039 --> 00:11:43,129 (Valerie) She's very, very sick. 268 00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:48,179 Oh, where's my Holly-Wolly-Woo-Woo? 269 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,139 Righty-righty here-here. 270 00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:55,039 Now, listen. Don't you worry about a thing. 271 00:11:55,059 --> 00:11:58,179 I'm here, and I'm not leaving until you feel better. 272 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,190 - No! - No! I can't let you do that. 273 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:04,080 You have a houseful of people over for Thanksgiving. 274 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,110 You let me worry about that. 275 00:12:06,129 --> 00:12:09,190 Now, I need a whole onion, four cloves of garlic 276 00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:12,110 a cup of canola oil and two raw eggs. 277 00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:14,080 Uh, I think I have some power bars in the cabinet 278 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,139 if you want a snack. 279 00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:18,190 No. It's not for me. It's for Holly. 280 00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:20,159 We need something to clean out her system. 281 00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:23,159 I'm okay. I'm pretty sure my system is self-cleaning. 282 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:25,200 - Thanks. - Oh, I almost forgot. 283 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:28,200 I'm gonna need some cayenne pepper. 284 00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:31,120 - Do something! - Uh, Aunt Wanda.. 285 00:12:31,139 --> 00:12:33,139 Uh, about your little remedy there, uh 286 00:12:33,159 --> 00:12:36,149 um, Holly hasn't been able to keep anything down. 287 00:12:36,169 --> 00:12:40,009 Oh, that's okay. She's not gonna take it orally. 288 00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:46,000 Val! 289 00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:49,169 Sorry, kiddo, sometimes you just gotta take one for the team. 290 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:52,210 [instrumental music] 291 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:58,059 I can't believe I just spent $400 on a turkey. 292 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,019 Not a turkey. A MacArthur Gold! 293 00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:03,159 And trust me, when we're eating it 294 00:13:03,179 --> 00:13:05,200 we will not regret the money we spent. 295 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:08,059 You didn't spend any money. 296 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,149 And I don't regret it. 297 00:13:10,169 --> 00:13:12,159 You know what, I don't even care about the money. 298 00:13:12,179 --> 00:13:15,039 I told her I'd get the best, and I did it. 299 00:13:15,059 --> 00:13:16,139 It will all be worth it when I see Val 300 00:13:16,159 --> 00:13:18,100 going back for seconds. 301 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,200 Well, she'll stop there, right? 302 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:24,009 I mean, it's my Thanksgiving, too. 303 00:13:24,029 --> 00:13:27,039 [screeching] 304 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,200 Oh, man! 305 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,110 This is not good. 306 00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:35,200 (man on PA) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing' 307 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,120 'a problem with a train in front of us.' 308 00:13:37,139 --> 00:13:39,159 'So we'll be stuck here indefinitely.' 309 00:13:39,179 --> 00:13:41,009 [all groaning] 310 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,230 'And on behalf of the transit authority' 311 00:13:43,009 --> 00:13:45,159 'I'm required to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.' 312 00:13:45,179 --> 00:13:48,009 'Gobble, gobble.' 313 00:13:48,029 --> 00:13:49,169 Hey, do you think that flower guy was serious 314 00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:51,200 about the MacArthur Platinum? 315 00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:55,059 Nah! No turkey has an IQ of 12. 316 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,220 [instrumental music] 317 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,230 [blender whirring] 318 00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:02,220 - What are we gonna do? - For starters.. 319 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,139 We're definitely buying a new blender. 320 00:14:05,159 --> 00:14:07,190 You know, we wouldn't even be in this situation 321 00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:10,049 if you had just told the truth in the first place. 322 00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,070 No, we wouldn't be in this situation 323 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:15,129 if you had paid attention to my Aunt-Wanda-as-a-balloon dream. 324 00:14:17,009 --> 00:14:18,120 Well, I've done the best I can 325 00:14:18,139 --> 00:14:20,039 with this cheap blender. 326 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:23,200 So if it's a little lumpy, you can blame your sister. 327 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:26,129 Did you hear that? It's lumpy! 328 00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,080 We need a plan, and we need it now. 329 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,080 Okay. 330 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:32,009 - Um, uh.. - Oh, wait. 331 00:14:32,029 --> 00:14:34,009 Why don't I just say I feel better? 332 00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:36,019 Ooh. I like that. 333 00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:37,149 Okay, Holly, ready? 334 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:40,070 You know what, Aunt Wanda? I feel better! 335 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,009 Yeah. Doesn't she look better? 336 00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:43,159 No, not really. 337 00:14:43,179 --> 00:14:46,139 Hey, could a sick person do this? Huh? 338 00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:48,149 Um, what about this? 339 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:50,190 [grunts] 340 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,190 She can't really do this, either. 341 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:58,190 Honey, you don't have to be brave for me. 342 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,230 Aunt Wanda, she's fine, really. 343 00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:03,139 You know, you're not looking so hot yourself. 344 00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:05,070 Maybe I should whip up a bigger batch. 345 00:15:05,090 --> 00:15:07,059 - No! - What? 346 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,029 Uh, Aunt Wanda, I lied to you. 347 00:15:11,049 --> 00:15:13,029 Holly isn't sick. She never was. 348 00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:15,029 We just didn't want to go to your house for Thanksgiving. 349 00:15:15,049 --> 00:15:17,179 We wanted to have it here, just us. 350 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,139 Well.. 351 00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:22,029 I see. 352 00:15:25,139 --> 00:15:27,029 Are you okay? 353 00:15:27,049 --> 00:15:29,200 No, I'm not. 354 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,019 I've just been rejected 355 00:15:31,039 --> 00:15:34,049 by my favorite niece and her sister. 356 00:15:36,159 --> 00:15:38,149 Don't cry. Look, you misunderstood. 357 00:15:38,169 --> 00:15:41,039 I-i-it's not that we don't love you. 358 00:15:41,059 --> 00:15:43,200 It's, it's just that we-- 359 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,159 We miss dad. 360 00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:47,190 That's right! We do. 361 00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:50,070 We just both thought that with him in Japan and all 362 00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,210 it would be, uh, just t-too hard on us 363 00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:55,009 to see his empty seat at the table. 364 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,059 We just thought, with our worlds 365 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,039 being all turned upside down and everything 366 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,210 it would be better if we spent 367 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:05,059 a quiet day here to...ponder. 368 00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:08,029 And reflect. 369 00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:10,100 - On.. - Dad. 370 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,200 Right. 371 00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:16,200 I am so proud of you. 372 00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:18,049 Of me? 373 00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:20,110 It's amazing that such a young girl 374 00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:23,179 could be so emotionally mature and honest. 375 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,159 You could take a lesson from this one. 376 00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:29,029 Hey, that whole missing-dad thing was mine. 377 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:33,159 I mean, I-I felt that way first. 378 00:16:33,179 --> 00:16:37,009 Alright, I'll let you girls have your day. 379 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:40,000 And if you need anything, you know my number. 380 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:51,129 You know, that felt pretty good standing up to Aunt Wanda. 381 00:16:51,149 --> 00:16:53,049 Yeah, I noticed you got real brave 382 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:56,049 when it was your turn to take one for the team. 383 00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:58,019 [instrumental music] 384 00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:01,110 Well, then let me ask you this. 385 00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:02,200 If we were trapped down here forever 386 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,230 and we had to form our own government-- 387 00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:06,140 Stop! I don't know, okay? 388 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,069 I don't know how many jelly beans it takes 389 00:17:08,089 --> 00:17:10,190 to fill up this car, I don't know how to read a flow chart 390 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:14,000 and I definitely don't know what your stage name should be. 391 00:17:15,069 --> 00:17:18,140 I'm thinkin' of goin' with Chili Styles. 392 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,099 (man on PA) 'Ladies and gentlemen, maintenance workers' 393 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,170 'have just arrived on the scene' 394 00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:25,079 'and it's gonna be at least another hour.' 395 00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:26,160 [indistinct chatter] 396 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,019 - Man, I'm starving! - Me, too! 397 00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:30,190 I haven't eaten anything all day. 398 00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:34,009 That MacArthur Gold is smelling good. 399 00:17:34,029 --> 00:17:36,049 Excuse me, I know that some of you 400 00:17:36,069 --> 00:17:38,039 are probably starting to get a little hungry 401 00:17:38,059 --> 00:17:40,069 with it being Thanksgiving and all. 402 00:17:40,089 --> 00:17:42,029 So in the spirit of the holiday 403 00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:43,190 I'm willing to share my candy bar 404 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:45,069 with anyone who wants some. 405 00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:46,160 And I have a bottle of water 406 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:49,099 if-if anybody's thirsty. 407 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:53,220 I have a half a bag of raisins and some chewable vitamins. 408 00:18:02,009 --> 00:18:05,000 And in the spirit of Thanksgiving 409 00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:08,190 I am willing to share.. 410 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:11,049 ...the story of a blizzard 411 00:18:11,069 --> 00:18:14,160 an old man and a very brave turkey. 412 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,190 [instrumental music] 413 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,109 Ladies and gentlemen, for your dining pleasure 414 00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:27,150 I present to you the MacArthur Gold! 415 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,119 I hope it's as good as it looks. 416 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:35,170 It was a big hit on the D-train. 417 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,069 Now, we didn't eat any of it, 'cause we wanted 418 00:18:37,089 --> 00:18:39,119 to share the experience with you guys. 419 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,019 Good thing, 'cause there's no way 420 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,119 Holly and I could eat all that. 421 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:48,069 Alright, shout out. Dark meat or bone? 422 00:18:48,089 --> 00:18:51,009 Wait, wait, wait. I-I wanna say something first. 423 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:54,089 Okay, the day so far has kind of sucked 424 00:18:54,109 --> 00:18:57,130 but, uh, it's finally just us, the way we planned. 425 00:18:57,150 --> 00:19:00,160 So the perfect Thanksgiving starts right now. 426 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,029 [knocking on door] 427 00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:04,059 Or in just one minute. 428 00:19:04,079 --> 00:19:06,140 I'll get it. 429 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,009 Hey, was there any change from that hundred 430 00:19:08,029 --> 00:19:09,099 I gave you for the turkey? 431 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,029 Oh, no! 432 00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:15,130 Aunt Wanda! 433 00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:18,220 What are you doing here, again? 434 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,119 We finished dinner, and we were thinking about you 435 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:24,230 and it just didn't seem right that you should be alone today. 436 00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:26,190 Now, I couldn't get your dad here 437 00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:28,180 so I got the next best thing. 438 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,180 A robot? 439 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,160 No, your family! 440 00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:34,019 Come on in, everybody! 441 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:37,039 [indistinct chatter] 442 00:19:37,059 --> 00:19:38,200 Hi, Valerie! 443 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,039 [indistinct chatter] 444 00:19:42,099 --> 00:19:45,220 I'm Aunt Wanda. Are you Val's boyfriend? 445 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,049 Uh, no. I'm, uh, Styles. 446 00:19:50,059 --> 00:19:52,099 Chili Styles. 447 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,130 [instrumental music] 448 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,000 - Hey! - Hey. 449 00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:02,019 You better get back in there. 450 00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:03,059 Uncle Bob's gonna do that thing 451 00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:05,059 where he flips his eyelids inside out. 452 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:08,220 Nah. I think I'll just hang out here. 453 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,140 What's the matter? 454 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,049 Well, look! 455 00:20:13,069 --> 00:20:16,039 Our perfect Thanksgiving lasted all of ten seconds. 456 00:20:16,059 --> 00:20:18,029 It's okay, we'll make it up next year. 457 00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:21,089 I know, but it's our first one together, just the two of us 458 00:20:21,109 --> 00:20:23,230 and I wanted it to be special for you. 459 00:20:24,009 --> 00:20:26,190 Trust me, I will never forget this Thanksgiving. 460 00:20:26,210 --> 00:20:28,109 [chuckles] 461 00:20:30,009 --> 00:20:32,039 Hey, look what Gary rescued. 462 00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:33,190 And you get the first taste. 463 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:36,049 Uh, nah, I'm not in the mood for any turkey right now. 464 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:40,019 No, it's not just any turkey. It's a MacArthur Gold! 465 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:43,029 I don't know, that's what they keep saying. 466 00:20:43,049 --> 00:20:44,180 Okay, fine. 467 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,190 - Ha-ha-ha.. - It does smell really good. 468 00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:51,029 Oh, my God! 469 00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,190 That's the best thing I've ever tasted in my life. 470 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:57,079 This may have actually saved Thanksgiving. 471 00:20:57,099 --> 00:21:00,019 - I gotta try some first. - Oh, me first. 472 00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,049 And in the dumpster. 473 00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:05,119 How good was it? 474 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,180 Amazing. 475 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,150 Yeah, but no turkey is good enough 476 00:21:08,170 --> 00:21:10,069 to search through a dumpster for. 477 00:21:10,089 --> 00:21:12,130 - No way. - Yeah, of course not. 478 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,180 Chili Styles? 479 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,170 [instrumental music] 480 00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:29,109 [theme music] 481 00:21:53,109 --> 00:21:56,069 [instrumental music]