1 00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:04,009 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:04,030 --> 00:00:05,200 That's what I thought. Hey, you're home! 3 00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:08,199 Uh, I know it looks like I'm home, but I'm not. 4 00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:13,019 - Ow! - No, you're home. 5 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,210 Which means we can go shopping for my dress today. 6 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:18,149 No, we can't. I still have a ton of work to do. 7 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:20,120 Come on, Liz's party is on Friday 8 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,140 and you promised you'd help me find the perfect dress! 9 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,230 Yes, and I will 10 00:00:24,010 --> 00:00:25,219 as soon as I come up with a new PR campaign 11 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,089 for the New Jersey Board of Tourism. 12 00:00:28,109 --> 00:00:29,230 I got it. New Jersey. 13 00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:32,039 It's supposed to smell like this. 14 00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:36,079 - Hey, gang. - Hi. 15 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,179 Guess what I got right here in my pocket, huh? 16 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:43,079 I'll give you a hint. It's right next to my Bono glasses. 17 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,020 (Holly) 'Oh.' 18 00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:47,189 I-I, I hope it's a receipt for those glasses. 19 00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:50,109 It's the tickets to tonight's U2 concert! 20 00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:53,049 [sighs] I'm sorry. I can't go anywhere until I come up 21 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:55,219 with a brilliant campaign for New Jersey. 22 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,159 You're gonna miss U2? It's in the luxury suite! 23 00:00:58,179 --> 00:01:00,200 The luxury suite? Well, how'd you guys score those? 24 00:01:00,219 --> 00:01:03,079 Jeff's ex-girlfriend, Dana, is an editor at "Vogue." 25 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,150 And three, two, one. 26 00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:07,030 She used to be a model. 27 00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:10,060 - Whoo-hoo! A model? Damn! - I-I know! 28 00:01:12,019 --> 00:01:16,000 Uh, but we broke up 'cause, you know, she was gross. 29 00:01:16,019 --> 00:01:17,180 Jeff, you don't have to do that. 30 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,039 I think I can handle the fact that you used to date a model. 31 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,049 She was featured in "Maxim!" 32 00:01:23,069 --> 00:01:25,090 Tramp. 33 00:01:25,109 --> 00:01:29,000 Ah, this sucks! You can't go, Dana's boyfriend can't go. 34 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:32,159 Oh, wow, this does suck 'cause now you can't go either. 35 00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,039 Excuse me? 36 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,200 It was one thing when I was going and Dana's boyfriend 37 00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:39,000 was going but now there's no me and no boyfriend 38 00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,009 which leaves you and your ex-girlfriend. 39 00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:43,000 Who's a former model. 40 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,120 Thanks, dude. 41 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,060 So what, you don't trust me? 42 00:01:47,079 --> 00:01:50,020 I don't trust her. I don't trust Dana. 43 00:01:50,039 --> 00:01:52,079 Look, Val, I love you. 44 00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:53,219 I have no feelings for Dana 45 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,079 and I'm dying to see U2 46 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,120 but if you're really worried about it 47 00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:58,200 then, fine, I won't go. 48 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,200 - Case closed. - What if I go? 49 00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:03,010 Case reopened. 50 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:04,090 Well, then I should go, too. 51 00:02:04,109 --> 00:02:07,090 Uh, trust me, no one ever has sex when I'm around. 52 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,090 You know what, Jeff? I'm, I'm being ridiculous. 53 00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:14,050 If you really wanna go to the concert, then go. 54 00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:16,159 - Have a great time. - You're the best. 55 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,030 Mwah! 56 00:02:19,229 --> 00:02:21,069 Holly. 57 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,090 You make sure that boyfriend-stealing tramp 58 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,170 keeps her hands off Jeff. 59 00:02:25,189 --> 00:02:27,110 She even looks at him, go for the eyes. 60 00:02:27,129 --> 00:02:28,189 [growls] 61 00:02:29,189 --> 00:02:31,030 ♪ I just wanna say ♪ 62 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:35,000 ♪ Life wouldn't be the same here without you ♪ 63 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:38,199 ♪ Without you ♪ ♪ Through the good and bad ♪ 64 00:02:38,219 --> 00:02:41,210 ♪ Of all that we've been through ♪ 65 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:44,170 ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ Hold onto me ♪ 66 00:02:44,189 --> 00:02:48,009 ♪ And I'll return it with nothing less ♪ 67 00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:50,000 ♪ Than all of me ♪ 68 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:55,060 ♪ I'll never feel alone again ♪ 69 00:02:55,079 --> 00:02:58,170 ♪ As you walk beside me ♪♪ 70 00:03:11,099 --> 00:03:13,069 Ooh, these seats are so comfortable. 71 00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:15,069 I'm loving the luxury suite. 72 00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:19,020 I feel like a dictator looking down on the masses. 73 00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:22,030 I decree that there be beer and nachos 74 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:25,060 for all of the people of the crappy loge seats! 75 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,139 [laughs] 76 00:03:29,189 --> 00:03:32,020 Hey, who-who's the dude with the luxury hairdo? 77 00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:33,069 That's Craig Miller. 78 00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:35,110 He owns hotels, casinos, office buildings-- 79 00:03:35,129 --> 00:03:39,009 So he's loaded. Doesn't mean he's happy. 80 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:42,039 Oh, God, let me be that unhappy just once. 81 00:03:44,079 --> 00:03:47,069 - Hey! - Hey, Dana. 82 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,170 - 'Thanks for the tickets.' - Welcome. 83 00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:51,219 Hi! 84 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,199 Hey, Dana, I'm Holly, Val's sister. 85 00:03:53,219 --> 00:03:55,120 Val really wishes she could have been here tonight 86 00:03:55,139 --> 00:03:58,020 because she and Jeff are in a committed relationship. 87 00:03:58,039 --> 00:04:01,099 Um, okay. It's nice to meet you. I love that jacket. 88 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,229 Oh, my sister, Jeff's girlfriend, picked it out. 89 00:04:04,009 --> 00:04:06,129 She has style, class, brains and beauty. 90 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,110 Those are the big four, says Jeff. 91 00:04:08,129 --> 00:04:09,189 [laughs] 92 00:04:10,169 --> 00:04:12,110 Hi, are you Gary? 93 00:04:14,069 --> 00:04:15,229 You were in "Maxim." 94 00:04:17,199 --> 00:04:19,110 Hi, "Maxim." 95 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,040 [crowd cheering] 96 00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:26,220 Oh, Bono, I love you! 97 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,199 Oh, my God, that was so incredible! 98 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,160 It was like Bono was singing just to me 99 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:33,110 which is weird 'cause he barely knows me. 100 00:04:33,129 --> 00:04:36,110 Hey, iced tea dude, you thinking what I'm thinking? 101 00:04:36,129 --> 00:04:37,230 Luxury toilet. 102 00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:42,050 Wow, Jeff looks really good! 103 00:04:42,069 --> 00:04:45,110 [chuckles] I don't know, there's a sadness to his eyes. 104 00:04:45,129 --> 00:04:47,100 I think he misses Val. 105 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,230 Holly, I get it, okay? 106 00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:51,050 I'm not going after your sister's boyfriend. 107 00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,230 Sorry, I guess I just got a little overprotective. 108 00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:55,139 Totally understand. 109 00:04:55,159 --> 00:04:57,220 Val's lucky to have a little sister like you. 110 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,120 I wish I had one. 111 00:04:59,139 --> 00:05:01,029 So you work at "Vogue," huh? 112 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,019 - Yeah. - That's really cool. 113 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,069 Well, if you like celebrities and parties 114 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:07,050 high pay, gorgeous men. 115 00:05:07,069 --> 00:05:09,129 Now, those are the big four, says Holly. 116 00:05:09,149 --> 00:05:10,209 [laughs] 117 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:12,050 So I have a question. 118 00:05:12,069 --> 00:05:14,019 Last month there was a picture of Natalie Portman 119 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,170 wearing this amazing dress. 120 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,029 I know the exact dress. 121 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,129 Well, I've been looking for something like it. 122 00:05:18,149 --> 00:05:20,149 Any chance it's from Old Navy? 123 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,170 [laughs] 124 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,129 What if I told you that I could get you 125 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:27,079 that exact dress for free? 126 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:28,170 Are you serious? 127 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:31,040 Yeah. I'll pull it for you tomorrow. 128 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,170 Wow! Thank you. 129 00:05:33,189 --> 00:05:35,090 [Craig clears throat] 130 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,149 - Oh, my God! - Craig, are you okay? 131 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,209 - Are you okay? - I think he's choking! 132 00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,110 - Somebody help him! - Excuse me, excuse me. 133 00:05:40,129 --> 00:05:42,110 - Oh, my God. - 'Oh! ' 134 00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:44,100 - Oh, oh! - Oh. 135 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,189 [all gasp] 136 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:52,019 Gary, you just saved Craig Miller's life! 137 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,230 Oh, no, stop calling me a hero. 138 00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:57,019 I only did what any ordinary man would do 139 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,009 in the presence of a dying bajillionaire. 140 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,220 Oh, man, I thought that was it. 141 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,139 Thanks, man. 142 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,149 Get his name and address. 143 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,029 I'm gonna send you something. 144 00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:12,040 Oh, thank you, Mr. Miller, but that's really not necessary. 145 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:15,220 Well, you just saved my life. I'd like a chance to repay you. 146 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,129 That's Thorpe, Gary Thorpe, with an E. 147 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:24,009 Hockey sucks. 148 00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:26,160 You know, the fights are fixed, like in wrestling. 149 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:28,230 You are so.. 150 00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:30,209 Seriously? Where'd you hear that? 151 00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:32,110 [cell phone ringing] 152 00:06:32,129 --> 00:06:34,060 Oh, that's me. 153 00:06:34,079 --> 00:06:35,230 Hm. Hello? 154 00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:37,129 Oh, yeah. Hey, Dana. 155 00:06:37,149 --> 00:06:38,180 Dana? What does she want? 156 00:06:38,199 --> 00:06:40,019 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 157 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,110 Of course, I still want the dress. 158 00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:43,149 Dress? What dress? 159 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,149 Okay, yeah, well, let me just check my schedule 160 00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,100 and I'll call you back with the time. 161 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,180 - Jeff says hi. - No, I didn't! 162 00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:51,040 Why is she calling you? 163 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,120 Because she hooked me up with Natalie Portman's dress 164 00:06:53,139 --> 00:06:54,129 for my party. 165 00:06:54,149 --> 00:06:55,199 No, no, no. 166 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,139 No dress, no Dana. 167 00:06:57,159 --> 00:06:59,180 - Dana's off limits. - What? 168 00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:01,079 Val does not like Dana! 169 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,180 She wouldn't want her calling you 170 00:07:02,199 --> 00:07:05,009 hooking you up with dresses, being all buddy-buddy 171 00:07:05,029 --> 00:07:07,120 braiding each other's hair! 172 00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:09,170 Is that what you think girls do? 173 00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:12,009 No. 174 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,000 Look, Dana's just being nice. She's a nice person. 175 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,189 Listen to me, okay? You don't realize it yet. 176 00:07:18,209 --> 00:07:21,180 But you're being sucked into the Dana vortex. 177 00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:24,079 - What? - The Dana vortex! 178 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,180 She has this way of making life seem really exciting 179 00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:28,230 'cause of the people she knows and the things she does 180 00:07:29,009 --> 00:07:30,129 and you think she's a really nice person 181 00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:33,079 but really, she's a bad person with nice skin. 182 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,000 [keys jingling] 183 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,159 - Oh, hey. - Hey, you're home. 184 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:38,149 Yeah, but I can't stay, I've got to go back to New Jersey 185 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:40,029 tonight and all day tomorrow. 186 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,079 It's only been two days and I already hate that state. 187 00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:45,050 - Think you found your slogan. - I'm glad you guys are here. 188 00:07:45,069 --> 00:07:47,220 Now I can give you these in person. 189 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,189 "I owe you one romantic evening." 190 00:07:49,209 --> 00:07:52,209 Aw! You even drew little stick figures of us. 191 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:55,100 - Look, we're playing leapfrog. - Oh, no, not leapfrog. 192 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,069 Oh, right. 193 00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,120 - Here's one for you. - Oh, oh. 194 00:08:00,139 --> 00:08:04,040 "I owe you one dress-shopping trip." 195 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,139 Saturday, Bloomingdale's. I'm all yours. 196 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,079 - Oh, aw.. - Doesn't that sound great? 197 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,120 Just you and your sister shopping for that special dress. 198 00:08:12,069 --> 00:08:14,180 Yeah, this sounds great. 199 00:08:14,199 --> 00:08:16,199 Thanks, Val. 200 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,089 Okay, I got to get going. There's a car downstairs. 201 00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,220 Oh, a-about this "I owe you" thing 202 00:08:21,009 --> 00:08:22,199 uh, this drawing of me? 203 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:25,060 You're kind of stingy with one of my sticks. 204 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:35,059 So, Gary, what do you think that rich guy's gonna give you? 205 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,059 I haven't given it that much thought. 206 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,169 I'm just glad I was there to help. 207 00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:41,190 My sense of satisfaction is reward enough. 208 00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:44,139 But I wouldn't say no to an above-ground pool. 209 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,110 Um, I'm looking for Gary Thorpe. 210 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,049 - That's me. - Hi, I'm Jill. 211 00:08:51,070 --> 00:08:53,129 I'm an intern for Craig Miller. 212 00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:55,179 - Are you the gift? - Uh.. 213 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,000 That's cute. 214 00:08:59,019 --> 00:09:00,129 And I'm serious. 215 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,090 No, Mr. Miller wanted me to give you this. 216 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:08,080 Ooh, tickets! [laughs] 217 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,149 '"Bob The Builder On Ice."' 218 00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:15,139 That's.. H-how did he know? 219 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:16,210 Now, you and your guest will have 220 00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,230 Mr. Miller's luxury suite all to yourselves 221 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:20,230 and after the show you can both go backstage 222 00:09:21,009 --> 00:09:22,149 and meet Bob the Builder. 223 00:09:22,169 --> 00:09:24,110 Bob himself, huh? 224 00:09:24,129 --> 00:09:26,230 [chuckles] Exquisite. 225 00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:28,070 Alright, well, one guest. 226 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:30,039 Uh, hey, you know, this is gonna cause 227 00:09:30,059 --> 00:09:32,070 quite a rift among my friends. 228 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,159 So, uh, uh, why don't I just take you? 229 00:09:35,169 --> 00:09:38,049 Well, sure. Okay. Sounds fun. 230 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,159 I'm sorry, what? 231 00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:44,059 I said yes. 232 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,200 So now what happens? 233 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,149 Well, how's about I meet you there? 234 00:09:50,179 --> 00:09:52,139 See you tonight. 235 00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:55,230 What was that all about? 236 00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:57,230 You have a date with that girl tonight. 237 00:09:58,009 --> 00:10:00,159 Well, I-I'm gonna be all alone i-in a, in a luxury suite 238 00:10:00,179 --> 00:10:02,230 with a hot smokin' female. Wha.. 239 00:10:03,009 --> 00:10:04,049 What if she wants me to talk to her? 240 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,169 Do you think she wants me to talk to her? 241 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:08,080 Of course she's gonna want you to talk to her. 242 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,019 Oh, well, this is not good! 243 00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:11,159 Sometimes I say stupid stuff. 244 00:10:11,179 --> 00:10:14,059 The prettier the girl, the stupider the stuff. 245 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,039 Look, before you speak, think about what you're gonna say 246 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,029 and then say it. 247 00:10:19,049 --> 00:10:21,070 Or I could keep lots of food handy 248 00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:23,139 and-and every time I start to say something stupid 249 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:26,070 I-I can jam it in my mouth before anything even comes out. 250 00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,149 What do you think of that? 251 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:30,029 I think you're gonna gain a lot of weight. 252 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,080 [sighs] What do you think? 253 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,210 Oh, my God! 254 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:43,090 I cannot believe I am wearing Natalie Portman's dress. 255 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,070 You're definitely gonna be the hottest girl at the party. 256 00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:48,139 Well, thanks to you. This dress is so amazing! 257 00:10:48,159 --> 00:10:49,200 [door opens] 258 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,179 Well, well, well. What have we here? 259 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,159 Look at that dress. Doesn't she look fabulous? 260 00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,190 Yeah, I like the way the color brings out 261 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:08,000 the guilt in her eyes. 262 00:11:08,019 --> 00:11:09,159 [laughs] 263 00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:12,009 I never got your humor. 264 00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:13,070 Alright, well, I've got to run. 265 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,049 I've got a shoot with Gwen Stefani 266 00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:17,139 and then we're all gonna go over to the D bar on Bleecker. 267 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:18,200 You should swing by if you can. 268 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,049 - Sure, I'd love to! - Mwah, mwah. 269 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:24,029 - Two kisses. How fancy. - See ya. 270 00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,220 - Bye! - Bye. 271 00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:29,110 - Okay, it's not what you think! - Oh, really? 272 00:11:29,129 --> 00:11:31,100 'Cause I think you promised your sister 273 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,230 you were gonna go with her to get a dress 274 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,210 but you went behind her back and got it from Dana instead. 275 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:38,059 Oh, it is what you think. 276 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,070 Look, Holly, I've been where you are. 277 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,000 You're in the heart of the Dana vortex. 278 00:11:42,019 --> 00:11:44,059 - It is not safe! - Oh, please, Jeff. 279 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,059 This is no different than you getting tickets from her. 280 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,190 - Luxury suite, luxury dress. - Th-that's totally different. 281 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:52,179 I wasn't sneaking around behind Val's back. 282 00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,110 Look. 283 00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:57,009 I thought I could have this dress 284 00:11:57,029 --> 00:11:59,029 and Val wouldn't know, and everything would be okay. 285 00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:01,149 But it's not okay 'cause you know if Val found out 286 00:12:01,169 --> 00:12:04,080 this would really hurt her feelings. 287 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,200 You're right. 288 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:08,090 Wow. Look at me. 289 00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:11,169 Communicating effectively with a teenage girl. 290 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,019 - But-- - Uh-oh. 291 00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:15,029 It's just like how you think it's okay to stay friends 292 00:12:15,049 --> 00:12:17,200 with your ex-girlfriend when you know that deep down 293 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,120 it really bothers Val. 294 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,039 Crap! 295 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,169 Okay. That's it. 296 00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:27,009 We're both breaking up with Dana. 297 00:12:27,029 --> 00:12:28,070 I don't get anymore concert tickets 298 00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,009 and you gotta take back that dress. 299 00:12:30,029 --> 00:12:32,100 Good call. Right after this party 300 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,129 this dress is so out of my life. 301 00:12:34,149 --> 00:12:35,230 [clears throat] 302 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:40,220 Okay, I'll take the dress back after the party. 303 00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:44,190 Okay, I'll do it today! 304 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,059 What are you doing here, anyway? 305 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,129 Oh, I'm on my lunch break. 306 00:12:47,149 --> 00:12:48,210 Can't you eat at the restaurant? 307 00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:51,090 I did, but when I nap in my office 308 00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,200 the busboys always mess with me. 309 00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:04,039 Look at Bob! 310 00:13:04,059 --> 00:13:07,000 He and the machines just built a gazebo. 311 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:10,009 Ho ho! And he lands the triple lutz. 312 00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:13,210 Everyone at the office is talking about 313 00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:16,059 how you saved Mr. Miller's life. 314 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,190 - What did it feel like? - Oh, it was a rush. 315 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:22,049 I mean, the first time you, you stand behind a man 316 00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,110 and your arms are wrapped around him 317 00:13:24,129 --> 00:13:27,129 and you're squeezing him tight and.. 318 00:13:27,149 --> 00:13:30,000 [chuckles] Well, you know, I didn't mean what.. 319 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,149 You know, Gary, I'm really glad 320 00:13:37,169 --> 00:13:39,190 you asked me to come tonight. 321 00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,039 [laughter] 322 00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:57,100 Hey, Dana. 323 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,059 - Hey, Holly! - Hi! 324 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,029 Everybody, this is Holly, my new little sister 325 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,120 that I've been telling you about. 326 00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:04,139 - Hi, guys. - I want a new little sister. 327 00:14:04,159 --> 00:14:06,049 Well, she's mine. You can't have her. 328 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:07,200 [laughs] C-come on, ladies 329 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:10,049 there's plenty of Holly to go around! 330 00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,220 Cosmo, cosmo. 331 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,059 And for the young lady? 332 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,139 Oh, nothing. I can't stay. 333 00:14:15,159 --> 00:14:16,159 I just came by to give you this. 334 00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:18,019 What do you mean, you can't stay? 335 00:14:18,039 --> 00:14:20,129 You sit your cute, little tushie down next to Niki. 336 00:14:20,149 --> 00:14:23,019 I know, and look at that figure! 337 00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:24,139 What do you do to stay in shape? 338 00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:25,139 Oh, nothing really. 339 00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:27,009 I just signed up for AP History 340 00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:29,019 so my backpack weighs like 40 pounds. 341 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:30,100 [laughter] 342 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,210 Well, I guess I could stay for a second. 343 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,090 Um, so I'll have a virgin martini. 344 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,000 A martini without the alcohol 345 00:14:41,019 --> 00:14:42,190 would be a glass of olives. 346 00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:44,159 That's perfect. 347 00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:47,070 And a ginger ale. 348 00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,080 Hey, Holly, I spoke to the hair and makeup people 349 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,159 at the magazine and the night of your party 350 00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:53,110 they are gonna make you look fabulous. 351 00:14:53,129 --> 00:14:55,200 That is so incredible. You did not have to do that. 352 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:59,179 Oh, come on. How long will it take to make you fabulous? 353 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,110 - Two minutes? - Niki, you're fabulous. 354 00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:04,070 - Come on, double kiss. - Oh.. 355 00:15:04,090 --> 00:15:06,019 (both) Mwah. Mwah. 356 00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:09,070 Hey, Holly, Dana, everybody. 357 00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:10,230 Jeff, what are you doing here? 358 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,059 Isn't it obvious? He's following me. 359 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,149 Twice in one day? 360 00:15:14,169 --> 00:15:16,159 Actually, I came to talk to Holly. 361 00:15:16,179 --> 00:15:18,159 Got a sec? 362 00:15:18,179 --> 00:15:21,090 Excuse me for just one second, ladies. 363 00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,200 - What are you doing here? - Making sure you end this. 364 00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:25,159 Come on, I got to let her down easy! 365 00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:27,149 - Why? - Because she's a sweet kid. 366 00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:29,230 I can't just kick her to the curb. 367 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,210 You're in the vortex. 368 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,129 I am hanging out with my friends. 369 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:36,039 We're having drinks, exchanging witty banter. 370 00:15:36,059 --> 00:15:37,090 I am not in the vortex 371 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,220 I'm in my own episode of "Sex And The City!" 372 00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:46,029 Good. You decided to stay. 373 00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:47,169 So where's Val? 374 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:49,159 Did she let you off your leash tonight? 375 00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:53,009 No, no. She's been working crazy hours lately, traveling. 376 00:15:53,029 --> 00:15:54,120 Oh. 377 00:15:54,139 --> 00:15:56,120 Hey, some of us are gonna go out to The Hamptons this weekend 378 00:15:56,139 --> 00:15:57,230 and you guys should come. 379 00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:59,179 Like I said, Val's got to work. 380 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,129 Well, then you should come. 381 00:16:02,149 --> 00:16:04,029 Don't you think that would be a little.. 382 00:16:04,049 --> 00:16:06,120 If you play your cards right, it might be a lot. 383 00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:11,169 Well, Dana, I know we're all grown up and sophisticated here 384 00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:13,049 but what the hell are you doing? 385 00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:14,159 What? 386 00:16:14,179 --> 00:16:17,059 You're hitting on my sister's boyfriend. 387 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,080 Jeff is not gonna do anything that he doesn't wanna do. 388 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,039 Are you, Jeff? 389 00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:24,200 You hear that sucking sound? 390 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:27,009 That's the vortex. 391 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,100 [clears throat] Look, I'm not going to The Hamptons with you. 392 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,129 Yeah, that's right, because he loves Val. 393 00:16:31,149 --> 00:16:33,049 Yeah, and I would never do anything to hurt her. 394 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:36,090 So thanks, anyway but I won't be needing anymore concert tickets. 395 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,159 Yeah, and you know what? I am not your little sister. 396 00:16:38,179 --> 00:16:42,029 I know. My little sister wouldn't be this uncool. 397 00:16:46,059 --> 00:16:47,019 Hey! 398 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,049 And you can have your stupid 399 00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:50,179 Natalie Portman dress back. 400 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,110 Too bad, I was gonna give you 401 00:16:52,129 --> 00:16:55,220 those Kate Hudson shoes to wear with it. 402 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,190 The gold ones with the little T-straps? 403 00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,210 Uh-huh. 404 00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,129 You are the devil! 405 00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:06,029 [applause] 406 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:09,210 You know, I thought that was gonna be really stupid 407 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:14,009 but it was funny and I learned a lot about spackle and grout. 408 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,009 Uh-huh. 409 00:17:18,029 --> 00:17:19,170 So I was thinking 410 00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:22,059 maybe you could walk me back to my place? 411 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:25,059 I could just grab my coat and we can go. 412 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:27,119 Yeah. Walk. 413 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:28,220 Go. 414 00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,119 Are you there, God? 415 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,009 I-it's me, Gary. 416 00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:38,150 Look, man, I promise 417 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:40,220 I will never ask you for anything again 418 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,049 as long as I live 419 00:17:42,069 --> 00:17:43,200 if you could just find it in your power 420 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:46,069 to get my food-filled body up off this chair 421 00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:49,019 so I can walk that smokin' female home. 422 00:17:51,009 --> 00:17:52,039 Whew! 423 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:55,220 Oh, that's cool, Lord. 424 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,119 I understand I have been gluttonous. 425 00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:01,150 [panting] 426 00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:03,049 Hey. You okay? 427 00:18:03,069 --> 00:18:06,039 [sighs] No, not really. I'm too full to get up. 428 00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:08,109 Look, Jill, have a seat. 429 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,000 [sighs] Look. 430 00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:14,200 Sometimes when I get around pretty women 431 00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,000 I get stupid. 432 00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:19,089 And the prettier they are, the stupider I get. 433 00:18:19,109 --> 00:18:21,039 And being with you tonight 434 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,109 I have never felt so stupid. 435 00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:25,200 Oh! That is one of the nicest things 436 00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:28,069 anyone has ever said to me. 437 00:18:28,089 --> 00:18:30,220 So, you know, I, I thought if I kept eating I wouldn't say 438 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,079 stupid stuff 'cause, you know, my mouth would be busy. 439 00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:37,119 You know, I have a better way of doing that. 440 00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:46,079 I'll go see if they have something for your stomach. 441 00:18:46,099 --> 00:18:48,210 You just sit and digest. 442 00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:56,160 [elevator bell dings] 443 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,119 How am I gonna tell Val what I did? 444 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,130 How about if I make it easy for you? 445 00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:04,069 I'm thinking we don't tell Val at all. 446 00:19:04,089 --> 00:19:06,210 I mean, telling her is only gonna hurt her for no reason 447 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:10,059 so why don't we just keep this between us? 448 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:12,019 What, so I just hide this from her 449 00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:14,079 and live with the crushing guilt? 450 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,039 I like it. 451 00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:22,180 Oh, attention, shoppers 452 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,000 who here needs to be the hottest girl at the party? 453 00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:28,089 Have you been reading my diary? 454 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,210 What is this? 455 00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:34,210 Well, I was in New Jersey checking out the Garden State's 456 00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:37,210 seventh biggest tourist attraction, the Paramus Mall 457 00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:39,230 and I met this woman who worked at the Pretzel Place. 458 00:19:40,009 --> 00:19:41,099 Her sister works at Bloomingdale's. 459 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,140 I told her about your dress situation. 460 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,210 Instead of us going to Bloomingdale's 461 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,230 Bloomingdale's came to us. 462 00:19:49,079 --> 00:19:50,170 Look, I have to tell you something. 463 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,170 No, no, no. 464 00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:55,029 She is my sister, she deserves to know! 465 00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:57,059 What? What? What is it? 466 00:19:59,109 --> 00:20:00,140 Jeff sneaks into our apartment 467 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,019 and takes naps when we're not here. 468 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,119 - Thanks for this. - You're welcome. 469 00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,170 I don't suppose there's anything on that rack for me. 470 00:20:16,109 --> 00:20:19,019 Actually, there is. 471 00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:22,160 You have been reading my diary. 472 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,200 [chuckles] 473 00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:26,000 [instrumental music] 474 00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:30,180 [theme music]