1 00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:03,140 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,099 [indistinct chatter on TV] 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,209 - Hey, Val. - Yep. 4 00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:08,089 Would you make me a grilled cheese sandwich? 5 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,189 Why can't you do it? 6 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,119 'Cause it tastes better when you do it. 7 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:15,189 And you're pretty. 8 00:00:16,219 --> 00:00:17,230 Okay. 9 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,050 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 10 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:23,059 I thought you were at a convention in Minneapolis. 11 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,019 Uh, I'm taking a later flight. 12 00:00:25,039 --> 00:00:27,190 I just wanna spend a little extra time with milady. 13 00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,149 - Mmm. - Mwah. 14 00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:31,140 Could you not do that right now? 15 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,170 Milady was making a grilled cheese for mi-belly. 16 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,000 So, what are you guys gonna do while I'm gone? 17 00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:41,090 Well, I'm gonna spend some quality time with my sister. 18 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,189 Yeah, we haven't really decided what we're gonna do yet. 19 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:47,030 Yes, we have. A Meryl Streep film festival. 20 00:00:47,049 --> 00:00:48,119 Another one? 21 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:50,189 Didn't we just have a Meryl Streep film festival? 22 00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:52,060 Only her comedies. 23 00:00:52,079 --> 00:00:54,000 - Those were comedies? - Those were comedies? 24 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,130 Tonight, we will be screening 25 00:00:56,149 --> 00:00:58,149 eight of her most dramatic roles. 26 00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:00,049 I can pop one in. You probably have time. 27 00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:01,109 Right. 28 00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,070 Oh, uh, except the new security 29 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:04,230 at the airport's really tight. 30 00:01:05,010 --> 00:01:07,049 They want you to get there, uh 31 00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:09,079 eight hours and 50 minutes ahead. 32 00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:11,200 You're milady. 33 00:01:11,219 --> 00:01:12,210 - Mm. - Mwah. 34 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:15,159 Hey, now I'm mi-screwed. 35 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:21,060 ♪ I just wanna say life wouldn't be the same here without you ♪ 36 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:22,230 ♪ Without you ♪ 37 00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:27,219 ♪ Through the good and bad of all that we've been through ♪ 38 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,060 ♪ I love you ♪ 39 00:01:29,079 --> 00:01:32,170 ♪ Hold on to me and I'll return it ♪ 40 00:01:32,189 --> 00:01:36,009 ♪ With nothing less than all of me ♪ 41 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:41,060 ♪ I'll never feel alone again ♪ 42 00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:43,210 ♪ As you walk beside me ♪♪ 43 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:56,079 [instrumental music] 44 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:04,090 [sniffles] Oh, wow. 45 00:02:04,109 --> 00:02:07,069 Another accent, another Oscar. 46 00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:08,099 Another movie? 47 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,199 You got it. 48 00:02:09,219 --> 00:02:10,210 Ooh, "Silkwood." 49 00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:12,110 Meryl gets killed in this one. 50 00:02:12,129 --> 00:02:14,120 Is it at the beginning? 51 00:02:14,139 --> 00:02:15,159 What? 52 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:17,219 No, nothing. Hey, I'm just wondering. 53 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,170 Why Meryl Streep? 54 00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:21,090 She has sentimental value to us. 55 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:23,050 I've told you this story before. 56 00:02:23,069 --> 00:02:25,090 You were like a year old 57 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,210 and you were sleeping on my lap. 58 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,039 We were watching TV 59 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,150 and "Out of Africa" was on. 60 00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:32,009 And as soon as Meryl Streep said her first words 61 00:02:32,030 --> 00:02:34,150 you woke up, crawled off my lap 62 00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:36,099 and took your first steps. 63 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,069 Aw, was I trying to get out of the room? 64 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,099 You know, if you weren't enjoying the festival 65 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,120 you could've said something. 66 00:02:44,139 --> 00:02:47,009 Oh, come on, Val, it's not that. 67 00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:49,039 It's just that this is kind of a "You" thing 68 00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:50,229 which is what we always do. 69 00:02:51,009 --> 00:02:53,020 - What you wanna do. - That is not true. 70 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,139 No, I took you shopping last week. You love shopping. 71 00:02:55,159 --> 00:02:58,150 No, you took me to look at fabric 72 00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:00,219 then you took me to return a coffeemaker 73 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,199 then you took me to the bank 74 00:03:02,219 --> 00:03:06,020 which, by the way, no one goes in anymore 75 00:03:06,039 --> 00:03:08,189 except you and robbers. 76 00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:10,039 I feel sorry for the tellers. 77 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,210 It's just them and old Gus the guard. 78 00:03:12,229 --> 00:03:14,099 I just think it'd be fun if we could do 79 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,159 a little less older sister- younger sister stuff 80 00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:21,129 and hang out more like, I don't know, friends. 81 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:23,150 I love that. I tell you what. 82 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,199 You pick something to do, and we will go do it. 83 00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:28,120 Okay, I know a great place to just hang. 84 00:03:28,139 --> 00:03:30,020 Would you be okay with just hangin'? 85 00:03:30,039 --> 00:03:32,110 Yeah, hangin' is great. I'd love to hang with you. 86 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,229 Okay, I think you're really gonna like it. 87 00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:35,199 It's fun. There's pool tables and food and lots of people. 88 00:03:35,219 --> 00:03:36,229 Ooh, sounds good. 89 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,020 Oh, is this one of those places 90 00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:39,030 where you get up on the bar 91 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,120 and dance and take off your bra? 92 00:03:40,139 --> 00:03:42,069 'Cause if it is, I'm gonna need 93 00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,000 to put on a nicer bra. 94 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,219 No. You're good. 95 00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:53,030 [instrumental music] 96 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,180 So, how do you like it? 97 00:03:57,199 --> 00:04:00,009 - I think I've been here before. - Really? 98 00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:03,120 Yeah, yeah, it was a vet's office. 99 00:04:03,139 --> 00:04:06,180 I saw a cat throw up right there. 100 00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:07,169 Really? 101 00:04:07,189 --> 00:04:09,110 I saw a gigantic Australian girl 102 00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:11,030 throw up right there. 103 00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:16,189 Hey, see that guy over there in the gray shirt? 104 00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:19,180 - Mm-hmm. - I think he has a cute butt. 105 00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:23,040 - Oh, you are nasty. - To the bone. 106 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,160 Oh, my God, that's Hunter. 107 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,079 - Who? - Hunter. 108 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,110 He's in a band. I saw him play at my friend's party once. 109 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:32,079 I could not stop watching him. 110 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,120 - Is he nice? - I don't know. 111 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,159 I've never even said two words to him 112 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:36,159 but I've already named our children. 113 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,050 - Stupid, huh? - No. 114 00:04:40,069 --> 00:04:41,100 When I was your age, I felt the same way 115 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,069 about George Michael. 116 00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:44,230 That didn't end well. 117 00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:48,029 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 118 00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:49,209 - Hey, Gary. - We're just hanging out. 119 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:53,120 - A couple of friends. - Oh, coming through. 120 00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:54,129 No way. 121 00:04:54,149 --> 00:04:55,180 Uh, Holly, it's Mr. Wade 122 00:04:55,199 --> 00:04:57,149 my eighth grade math teacher. 123 00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:59,100 Finally, we meet again. 124 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:03,110 That's the teacher who made your life a living hell? 125 00:05:03,129 --> 00:05:05,000 He looks pretty friendly. 126 00:05:05,019 --> 00:05:06,129 Well, who could look mean carrying 127 00:05:06,149 --> 00:05:08,139 a tray of chicken tenders? 128 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,089 - Believe me, that man is evil. - What did he do? 129 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,139 He always used to single me out to go to the board. 130 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,069 Now, whenever I got stuck doing a problem 131 00:05:16,089 --> 00:05:19,220 which was more often than I liked, he'd blast this air horn 132 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,019 and humiliate me in front of the entire class. 133 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,040 That was a long time ago. Maybe you should just let it go. 134 00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:25,129 I can't. 135 00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:27,089 You see, my dad took me to a Jets game last year 136 00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:30,110 and the man behind me cut loose with one of those air horns. 137 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:31,170 I flashed back to the eighth grade 138 00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:33,220 and almost lost control of my bladder. 139 00:05:35,139 --> 00:05:37,199 - Time for payback? - Oh, yeah, you got it. 140 00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:39,129 He's the waiter, and I'm the customer. 141 00:05:39,149 --> 00:05:41,139 Finally, I've got the power 142 00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:44,019 and he's the one with the suspenders. Ha! 143 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,139 Does that mean that you used to wear suspenders? 144 00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:48,139 Well, this was back in '99. 145 00:05:48,159 --> 00:05:50,110 It was a simpler time then. 146 00:05:51,079 --> 00:05:53,040 [instrumental music] 147 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:00,189 Nice shot. 148 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:02,029 Why don't you talk to him? 149 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,189 I just did. I said, "Nice shot." 150 00:06:06,139 --> 00:06:07,230 You know what I think? 151 00:06:08,009 --> 00:06:09,220 I think you need a wingman. 152 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,149 You know about wingmen? 153 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,050 Of course. 154 00:06:13,069 --> 00:06:16,220 I also know that butt crack is the new cleavage. 155 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,019 Yeah, but you can't keep your money in there. 156 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,019 Look, speaking as your wingman 157 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,089 you've got a perfect situation right here. 158 00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:25,189 - I do? - Yes. 159 00:06:25,209 --> 00:06:28,100 What if you and your friend went and played him 160 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,000 and his friend at pool? 161 00:06:30,019 --> 00:06:31,220 I'm not very good at pool. 162 00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:36,110 Neither is he. 163 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,149 Rugged good looks aside, he doesn't know jack about 164 00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,019 sinking a two-rail bank shot. 165 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,149 Oh, that's right. You and nana used to play. 166 00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:44,090 Yeah, she says there's two things 167 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:46,079 you got to know how to do if you wanna catch a man. 168 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:49,000 "Shoot pool and hold your liquor." 169 00:06:49,019 --> 00:06:50,149 "And dress real slutty." 170 00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:54,230 Hi. I'm Eugene. I'll be your server this evening. 171 00:06:55,009 --> 00:06:57,120 Uh, can I start you off with something to drink? 172 00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:59,230 How about a nice cup of sweet revenge? 173 00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,129 Hello, Thorpe. 174 00:07:02,149 --> 00:07:05,189 Hello...Eugene. So, what happened? 175 00:07:05,209 --> 00:07:08,050 You get canned for tormenting too many students? 176 00:07:08,069 --> 00:07:09,170 No, I'm still teaching. 177 00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:13,120 I'm just doing this until my Jacuzzi is paid for. 178 00:07:13,139 --> 00:07:15,000 Oh, well, you need money. 179 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,220 Well, how about you write a book on how to break the spirit 180 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,129 of an eighth grader? 181 00:07:18,149 --> 00:07:21,040 Well, Thorpe, let's say that I did 182 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:23,079 and it made $100,000. 183 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:26,019 If I decided to split the royalties with you 60/40 184 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,199 how much would you get? 185 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,040 Hm. I'll be right back. 186 00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,159 I don't wanna get any brains on me when your head explodes. 187 00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:34,159 [chuckles] 188 00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:36,189 [instrumental music] 189 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,050 Unbelievable. That's three in a row. 190 00:07:42,069 --> 00:07:43,079 Where did she learn to play pool? 191 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,079 Our grandmother taught her. 192 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,199 Ah, poo. 193 00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:50,009 She also taught her how to cuss. 194 00:07:50,189 --> 00:07:52,090 That should've gone in. 195 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:53,129 I banked the nine off the rail 196 00:07:53,149 --> 00:07:55,029 and it split the six and the two. 197 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:58,050 Yeah, I don't know what you're saying. 198 00:07:58,069 --> 00:07:59,199 The nine, it should've kissed the four 199 00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:01,129 and knocked it in the side. 200 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,000 I don't...know what.. 201 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,220 ...you're saying. 202 00:08:09,069 --> 00:08:11,040 Look, I know we wanna win the two bucks 203 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,000 but when are you gonna start talking about me? 204 00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:14,079 Oh, right, right. 205 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,089 Sorry, I just get a little caught up 206 00:08:15,110 --> 00:08:16,170 when there's money on the line. 207 00:08:16,189 --> 00:08:18,040 No, it's okay. I just sort of wanted to-- 208 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:20,079 [laughs] 209 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:24,019 Oh, my God, you are hysterical! Ooh! 210 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,009 Usually, pretty girls aren't this funny. 211 00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:30,199 So, where were we? 212 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,070 You were in the middle of killing us. 213 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,029 Ooh! Well, maybe pool's not your thing. 214 00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:36,220 Maybe you should stick to music. 215 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,139 - How'd you know I play? - Holly told me. 216 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,100 She's a huge fan. 217 00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:44,110 - You like my music? - Um.. 218 00:08:44,129 --> 00:08:46,070 Like? She heard you guys at a party. 219 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,220 She hasn't stopped talking about you. 220 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,100 Wow, that's really cool. Thanks, Holly. 221 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,190 No, no, thank you. 222 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,179 For...the gift of music. 223 00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:57,169 Well, here, why don't you give me your e-mail address 224 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,019 and I'll let you know when we're going to play next. 225 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,090 It'd be really cool if you could be there. 226 00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,200 Okay. 227 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,019 You got a little chalk right here. 228 00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:08,000 [chuckles] Chalk. 229 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:12,179 Dude, should I go for the blue stripe or the red stripe? 230 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,200 We're not stripes. 231 00:09:17,129 --> 00:09:19,110 You are officially my new wingman! 232 00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:21,070 You are ten times better than Gary. 233 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,190 When he does it, he just nods in my direction and says 234 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,149 "Check out that ass." 235 00:09:27,029 --> 00:09:28,230 Have you decided yet? 236 00:09:29,009 --> 00:09:31,100 Uh, yeah, but I have a few questions. 237 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,169 The cheeseburger. 238 00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:34,190 Now, is that a burger made of cheese? 239 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,139 Look, Thorpe, I've got other people to serve. 240 00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:41,179 Ooh, look, a comment card. 241 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:45,049 Let's see, where's the box for...crappy attitude? 242 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:48,210 Who's got the red pen now? 243 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,090 Yeah, I believe that's game, fellas. 244 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:55,059 Wait, I want a rematch. Double or nothing. 245 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,009 Rack 'em. 246 00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,080 I'm gonna get Gary to get me some food. 247 00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,159 Don't let him forget about me. 248 00:09:59,179 --> 00:10:00,230 I'm on it. 249 00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:03,110 Don't you touch those balls till I get back. 250 00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:09,220 You know, you are a really good pool player. 251 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,190 - Thanks. - Any advice? 252 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:14,139 Well, I can just tell you what my nana always tells me. 253 00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:16,080 "Pick your pocket, line up your shot 254 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:19,070 and nail that ball like it's the last cabana boy in Miami." 255 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,139 Hey, Gary, order me some chili fries, will ya? 256 00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:24,059 Oh, sure. So how's it going over there? 257 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,070 Oh, perfect. Val is such an amazing wingman. 258 00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:29,019 - How's it going with you? - Oh, great. 259 00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:30,230 I'm totally torturing Mr. Wade. 260 00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:33,009 I made him go through every single item on the menu 261 00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:34,169 then I ordered a chicken burrito 262 00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:37,039 and demanded it be served in a taco shell. 263 00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:40,129 Mm. He he he. 264 00:10:40,149 --> 00:10:42,169 Actually, forget about the chili fries. 265 00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:43,230 I'm gonna go order at the bar. 266 00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,110 Well, why? 267 00:10:45,129 --> 00:10:47,049 Okay, I know math's not your best subject 268 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,019 but let's see if you can follow this. 269 00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,059 Angry waiter plus your food 270 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,009 equals angry waiter's loogie in your food. 271 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,139 You see, you're strangling your cue. 272 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,200 That's your weakness. 273 00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:03,129 No, my weakness is hot blondes who play pool. 274 00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:11,100 - Oh, my God. - What, what, what? 275 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,190 Does Eugene have my taco down his pants? 276 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,169 [instrumental music] 277 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,100 [instrumental music] 278 00:11:25,159 --> 00:11:27,200 I can't believe how long this line is. 279 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,059 I'm dying. 280 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,019 Yeah, well, my sister just kissed a guy I like. 281 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,179 Holly, Holly, I'm so sorry. 282 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,210 - Please don't be mad at me. - Too late. 283 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,059 Holly! Holly! That's the men.. 284 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,029 Oh...my.. 285 00:11:48,049 --> 00:11:49,139 Can you do that? 286 00:11:53,159 --> 00:11:57,159 Holly...I swear, I had nothing to do with that. 287 00:11:57,179 --> 00:11:59,120 I was just showing the kid how to hold his cue 288 00:11:59,139 --> 00:12:02,070 and then the next thing I know, he was kissing me. 289 00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:05,200 Oh, God, this is so not the place for open-toed shoes. 290 00:12:13,129 --> 00:12:17,090 Okay, I don't blame you for being upset. 291 00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:22,110 Holly. Holly, please talk to me. 292 00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:25,149 Great! No more towels. 293 00:12:28,149 --> 00:12:32,000 Look at that. You took away something else I wanted. 294 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,120 Holly, listen.. 295 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,159 Gents are dudes, right? 296 00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:42,029 Yes. Gents are dudes. 297 00:12:42,049 --> 00:12:43,090 Listen.. 298 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,169 Um, would you mind? 299 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,080 Oh, sure. 300 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,179 I mean, what kind of a gent would I be 301 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,080 if I whizzed in front of a couple ladies? 302 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,230 W-why don't we just go get a table? 303 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,059 We'll sit down, we'll talk about it-- 304 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,159 I don't wanna talk to you right now. 305 00:12:58,179 --> 00:13:00,230 I am devastated. I'm devastated! 306 00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:04,059 - I understand you're upset-- - Devastated! 307 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,179 You're devastated. It was an accident! 308 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,039 I mean, I.. You can.. 309 00:13:08,059 --> 00:13:10,049 Sometimes, the wingman 310 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,129 inadvertently attracts the target. 311 00:13:11,149 --> 00:13:12,220 They don't mean to, but it happens. 312 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:16,139 You attracted him because you were working it. 313 00:13:16,159 --> 00:13:18,110 I was not working it. 314 00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:21,049 Oh, right, you just had to bend over the table 315 00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,179 every two seconds. 316 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,159 We were playing pool. 317 00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:28,090 You cannot honestly believe 318 00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:30,169 that I was attracted to that...boy. 319 00:13:30,190 --> 00:13:34,149 That boy in the gray shirt that you think has a cute butt? 320 00:13:34,169 --> 00:13:37,190 I cannot believe that you would betray me like this! 321 00:13:39,059 --> 00:13:40,110 Holly! 322 00:13:43,179 --> 00:13:46,159 So what's the story with the hottie? 323 00:13:46,179 --> 00:13:49,100 - What? - That girl you betrayed. 324 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,000 She's cute. I've been watching her all night. 325 00:13:53,019 --> 00:13:55,100 Really? You like my sister? 326 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,139 Who, by the way, I did not betray. 327 00:13:57,159 --> 00:13:59,009 Yeah. 328 00:13:59,029 --> 00:14:02,039 When I call someone a hottie, I mean it. 329 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,019 Okay, okay, this is good. This is good. 330 00:14:06,039 --> 00:14:08,230 Um, why haven't you talked to her all night? 331 00:14:09,009 --> 00:14:10,230 I don't know. I'm shy. 332 00:14:11,009 --> 00:14:13,059 You were just gonna pee in front of us. 333 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,159 I'm more confident in that area. 334 00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:20,080 Okay, so, uh, do you wanna meet her? 335 00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,029 - Yeah. - Okay, great. Wait. 336 00:14:22,049 --> 00:14:23,070 - What? - Where do you go to school? 337 00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:24,100 - Bronx Science. - GPA? 338 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,169 - 3.7. - Good, come with me. 339 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,230 - Oh, wait. - What? 340 00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,139 Could you wash your hands? 341 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,149 Oh, God. 342 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:33,070 [instrumental music] 343 00:14:36,129 --> 00:14:39,039 I'd like to send this back to the kitchen. 344 00:14:39,059 --> 00:14:40,029 Why? 345 00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:41,090 Well, this is chicken. 346 00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:43,120 I said beef. 347 00:14:43,139 --> 00:14:45,070 You said chicken. I wrote it down. 348 00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:47,220 Why would I write down chicken if you said beef? 349 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,039 How do I know? 350 00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:50,149 Maybe they give you special suspenders 351 00:14:50,169 --> 00:14:53,029 if you sell more chicken. 352 00:14:53,049 --> 00:14:54,190 I'm not taking it back. 353 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:56,049 You spit in my taco, didn't you? 354 00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:57,139 I know you did. 355 00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,090 I did not spit in your taco. 356 00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:00,149 You want me to take a bite to prove it? 357 00:15:00,169 --> 00:15:01,230 Well, that won't prove anything. 358 00:15:02,009 --> 00:15:04,029 It's your own spit. 359 00:15:04,049 --> 00:15:06,090 Now take it back. 360 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,190 Look, look, Gary, the chef is crazy 361 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:10,059 and if I take back a perfectly good taco 362 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,169 he's gonna screw up my orders 363 00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:14,000 which means my customers won't tip, I'll lose my Jacuzzi 364 00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:16,070 and my lower back problems will flare up. 365 00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:18,149 And that means no sweet love. 366 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,000 Wow. That is a sad tale. 367 00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:23,230 It's almost as sad as a young preteen 368 00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:26,039 who was humiliated by his math teacher. 369 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,190 You're still mad about that? 370 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:30,019 You ruined eighth grade for me! 371 00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:33,120 Look, Gary, you don't know this because I don't 372 00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,009 share my personal problems with my students 373 00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:37,169 but that year that you were in my class 374 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:39,129 I was going through a.. 375 00:15:39,149 --> 00:15:41,039 ...a rough patch. 376 00:15:41,059 --> 00:15:43,039 You see, my beloved dog Waffles 377 00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:45,070 had passed on that year. 378 00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:49,210 I'm sorry. I had no idea. 379 00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:51,019 That's okay. 380 00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:53,210 You see, I was so angry when he died that.. 381 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:56,049 ...I might've taken out some of that anger on you. 382 00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:58,059 Now, I'm sorry if you suffered. 383 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:01,169 Well, I accept your apology, Eugene. 384 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,009 And you know what? You're right. 385 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,110 It's time to put the past behind us. 386 00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:08,230 I will accept this as a taco of friendship. 387 00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:13,179 Uh-uh, I'll get you a fresh guacamole. 388 00:16:18,149 --> 00:16:20,179 Okay, okay, there she is. Go talk to her. 389 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,110 Alright, but if I get shot down, will you buy me beer? 390 00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:24,169 No. 391 00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:28,100 I was just trying to set up a win-win situation. 392 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,080 So the bottom line is 393 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,139 no matter what she does or what she says 394 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,100 never ever trust your wingman. 395 00:16:39,149 --> 00:16:41,210 Hey. Holly, right? 396 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,100 I'm Henry. 397 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,110 Remember me from the gents room? 398 00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:49,149 I didn't whiz. 399 00:16:49,169 --> 00:16:50,230 Yeah. 400 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,019 - Hey, I'm sorry about that. - No, that's okay. 401 00:16:53,039 --> 00:16:54,080 That's the most exciting thing 402 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,029 that's ever happened in there. 403 00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,230 Pretty much. 404 00:17:01,029 --> 00:17:02,129 Henry, um.. 405 00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:06,099 What are you doing? 406 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,039 Nothing. Go ahead. 407 00:17:09,059 --> 00:17:11,140 He likes you. 408 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,190 Excuse me for a sec. 409 00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:16,029 Did you tell him to come hit on me? 410 00:17:16,049 --> 00:17:18,079 - No. - I cannot believe you! 411 00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:19,170 What, you feel sorry for me 412 00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:21,220 so you find me a guy in the toilet? 413 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,190 No offense, Henry. 414 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:28,150 I just cannot talk to you right now. 415 00:17:31,089 --> 00:17:34,029 "The guy in the toilet?" 416 00:17:34,049 --> 00:17:36,210 I could really use that beer. 417 00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:39,130 [instrumental music] 418 00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:42,180 Yes, you-you're right. 419 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,230 I-I totally messed up your order. 420 00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:47,059 Look, uh, I-I don't really like to share my personal problems 421 00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:48,220 with my customers, but, uh 422 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,130 I'm-I'm going through a rough patch. 423 00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:55,029 You see, my beloved dog Waffles pa-passed on 424 00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:58,150 this morning, and so that's why I forgot 425 00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:01,009 to bring you your pizza nuggets. 426 00:18:01,029 --> 00:18:02,140 Oh, you want me to get that for you, Gary? 427 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,140 Oh, yeah, you know what? And-and keep the change. 428 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,119 I-I'm sorry I gave you a rough time. 429 00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:08,019 Oh, hey, no hard feelings, man. 430 00:18:08,039 --> 00:18:09,049 Alright. 431 00:18:10,099 --> 00:18:11,200 Hey, hey, Thorpe! 432 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,019 Was something wrong with your taco? 433 00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:16,079 It was delightful. 434 00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:17,109 Well, then what's up with my tip? 435 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,069 You left me, like, 50 cents. 436 00:18:19,089 --> 00:18:21,230 Yeah, but, see, normally I'm a very generous tipper 437 00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:26,000 but I'm going through a rough patch right now. 438 00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:30,039 You see, my beloved goldfish French Toast.. 439 00:18:30,059 --> 00:18:31,119 ...passed this morning 440 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:34,119 and I felt so angry that I-I might've taken some 441 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:37,029 of that anger out on your tip. 442 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,230 Don't drown in that Jacuzzi now. 443 00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:45,160 Hey. 444 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,190 I hear you were mackin' on my boyfriend. 445 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,059 What? Uh.. 446 00:18:49,079 --> 00:18:51,130 Yeah, okay, uh, two things. 447 00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:54,059 Who's your boyfriend, and what's mackin'? 448 00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:57,069 My friend saw you playing pool with Hunter 449 00:18:57,089 --> 00:18:59,210 and she said you kissed him? 450 00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,119 Oh, right. 451 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,109 Well, what your friend didn't see was that 452 00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:05,210 Hunter was mackin' on me. 453 00:19:07,029 --> 00:19:09,059 - Please. - No, it's true. 454 00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:11,009 If you don't believe me, ask him yourself. 455 00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:13,009 Hunter, could you.. 456 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,029 Alright, let's take it outside. 457 00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:22,150 Are you serious? 458 00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:24,230 Who are you, like, Leather Tuscadero? 459 00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:28,089 - Who? - Pinky's cousin. 460 00:19:28,109 --> 00:19:29,210 "Happy Days." 461 00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:31,000 Anything? 462 00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:34,200 Look, I'm going to take you outside 463 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:36,220 and mess up your face. 464 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,170 - Hey, where are you going? - I'm getting out of here. 465 00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:41,059 - Yeah, me too. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 466 00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,210 Oh, right, I forgot. 467 00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:45,009 Uh, I just have one thing I have to do. 468 00:19:45,029 --> 00:19:48,150 See, this is Hunter's girlfriend and she saw us mackin' 469 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,210 and apparently, we're gonna fight. 470 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,059 Hunter has a girlfriend. 471 00:19:53,079 --> 00:19:55,099 Yes. He does. 472 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:56,190 Who are you? 473 00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:58,099 Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? 474 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,079 This is my sister Holly. Holly, this is.. 475 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,000 I didn't get your name. 476 00:20:02,019 --> 00:20:03,009 Sasha. 477 00:20:03,029 --> 00:20:04,230 Oh, that is a pretty name. 478 00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:07,019 We had a beautiful little malamute named Sasha. 479 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,059 I wanted a Portuguese water dog. They don't shed. 480 00:20:09,079 --> 00:20:11,200 Oh, look at me. I get chatty before a fight. 481 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:14,190 Look, I don't have time for all this. 482 00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,079 I'm just going to mess you up right here. 483 00:20:16,099 --> 00:20:18,180 Oh, okay, you were actually serious? 484 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,190 Look, you're not gonna mess anybody up. 485 00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:23,009 She didn't hit on your boyfriend. 486 00:20:23,029 --> 00:20:24,220 Now, I know it's easier to blame her 487 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,109 but the bottom line is, your boyfriend's a slime. 488 00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,180 I'm sure this isn't the first time he's cheated on you 489 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,220 and it's probably not gonna be the last. 490 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,230 So grow up and deal with it, Sasha! 491 00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:40,089 You're so mean. 492 00:20:43,069 --> 00:20:46,089 Wow. I was all ready to throw down with Sasha. 493 00:20:46,109 --> 00:20:48,220 You ruined my street cred. 494 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,039 Sorry I got so mad at you. 495 00:20:51,059 --> 00:20:53,200 I just needed somebody to blame, and Hunter.. 496 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:56,069 You said it yourself. He's got a cute butt. 497 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,190 Yeah. 498 00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:59,099 I'm sorry you got hurt tonight. 499 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,039 It's okay. I'll get over it. 500 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,220 - You wanna go? - No, let's keep hangin'. 501 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,170 You want me to show you how to make a two-rail bank shot? 502 00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:08,009 Okay. 503 00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:10,200 So, uh, what's the situation with us? 504 00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:13,069 Am I in? Am I out? 505 00:21:13,089 --> 00:21:14,140 I'm gonna take a rain check. 506 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,059 I just wanna play pool with my friend. 507 00:21:16,079 --> 00:21:17,170 Yes! 508 00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,099 Rain check! 509 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,140 [instrumental music] 510 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,130 [theme music]