[instrumental music]
So are you gonna be able to get those
concert tickets for Gary's birthday?
Um, no problem, my guy said
if you can wait one more day, he can throw in
some backstage passes.
Oh, my God. Gary, backstage, at a Nelly concert?
Oh, my God! Are you serious?
For shizzle, my sizzle.
- Yeah, you heard me. - But Gary's birthday is today.
I'm supposed to meet him later to give him his present.
So give him something small he can open tonight
and surprise him with the tickets tomorrow.
Perfect.
I love that we have a new gym in our building.
I hate that one down the block.
I know, now we only have to smell our neighbors.
Uh, y-you know what? L-let's just go.
What? No. I thought you were gonna hit the treadmill.
I think she's probably almost done.
N-nah, let's just take a walk.
We'll use nature's treadmill.
Oh, no, I'll just see how much longer she's gonna be.
- Holly. - Mm.
Hi, excuse me, um, can I just ask you
how much longer you're gonna be?
No.
Okay, well, I'm just asking
'cause like the sign says, um, there's a 20-minute limit
while others are waiting.
Oh.
I just got on.
Okay, Val, that woman over there
is breaking a rule!
She has been on that treadmill for 30 minutes!
I mean, that's ten whole minutes of rule breaking!
Oh, it's not that bad. Come on, let's go.
- What is with you? - Come on, go!
Aah!
That woman in there, that's Mindy Turner.
She hates me.
Five years ago, she and I wanted
the same apartment, and I got it.
So now I have a balcony with a view
and she's still stuck facing the wall.
- How'd you get it? - Well..
She accused me of flirting with the landlord.
Did you?
Like I said, I have a balcony with a view
and she's still stuck facing the wall.
She has this huge grudge against me.
- Oh, my God! - W-where are you going?
I'm going to get your treadmill, but don't worry
you can hide out here until the scary tiny lady comes out.
No, just leave her alone, okay?
I am telling you, she can make our lives miserable.
She is on the tenants' board.
Oh, my God! The tenants' board?
Aah! Run, Val! Run!
♪ I just wanna say life wouldn't be the same here without you ♪
♪ Without you ♪ ♪ Without you ♪
♪ Through the good and bad ♪
♪ Of all that we've been through ♪
♪ I love you ♪ ♪ Hold on to me ♪
♪ And I'll return it ♪
♪ With nothing less than all of me ♪
♪ I'll never feel alone again ♪
♪ As you walk beside me ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Great.
- Hey. - Hey.
Nice jersey. Where'd you get that?
Oh, it was a birthday present from new mommy.
Those things are like 300 bucks. She trying to buy your love?
Yup, and it's working.
[laughs] Happy birthday.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
You know, I love it when my birthday comes around.
I-it gives me a chance to see how fortunate I am
and how wonderful it is to be..
Oh, hell, what'd you get me?
Here you go.
Oh, thank you. Wow!
Wonder what this is.
It's a ten-dollar gift certificate
from a video store.
The one right by your house.
You're welcome.
- I like movies. - I know!
Very nice. Very thoughtful.
Ten dollars.
You forgot my birthday, didn't you?
- No! - No, it's okay, it's okay.
I understand, you forgot your best friend's birthday
you had to pick up something quick, so you stopped
by the video store, the one right by your house.
It's cool, it's cool.
Yeah, 'cause, you know, I like movies.
Whatever happened to, "It's the thought that counts?"
Oh, yeah, a lot of thought went into this.
Uh, you were lying awake at night, thinking
"It's Gary's birthday. What would really disappoint him?"
Hey, look, that's not your real present.
Your real present is coming tomorrow.
I just didn't wanna tell you because I wanted it
to be a surprise.
Oh, well, what happened, it's on back order
from the pretend factory?
No, I'm serious! I have been working on this for weeks!
Oh, come on, Gary..
What?
[instrumental music]
Hello, neighbor.
Too late, I already saw it.
You've been on there for 40 minutes.
That's against the rules!
Actually, the rule states a 20-minute limit
when others are waiting. You just started waiting.
So my 20 minutes starts now. Ding!
Oh. Okay.
- What are you doing? - Waitin'.
You know, you're not allowed in the exercise room
unless you're accompanied by a resident.
You're a resident. I'm here with you.
Actually, I live in 34-C. You, uh, may even know it.
Nice balcony, no view of a wall.
- You live with Val Tyler? - Yup. I'm her sister.
Sister? I didn't know Val's sister lived with her.
Why haven't I met you before?
Maybe 'cause you're always hogging the treadmill.
[chuckles] You're funny. What's your name?
- Holly. - Holly. That's pretty.
Hey, what happened to Val's other roommate?
- What was her name? - Roberta.
She moved out nine months ago.
Right. Roberta.
You know what? I'm done here. Take the treadmill.
Okay. Thank you.
It was really nice talking to you, Holly.
It was nice talking to you, too.
Do you want me to turn on the television for you?
Oh, no, no, no, my favorite show is already on.
[instrumental music]
Here you go. One onion ring.
I ordered an individual pepperoni pizza.
Oh, I'm so sorry you're disappointed
but it's the thought that counts.
You're right, it is the thought that counts
and that's why I came here to give you your gifts.
Oh, what's it gonna be this time?
Some coupons, 50 cents off a box of Goobers?
You know what, I've been thinking.
What did I get you for your last birthday?
- Perfume. - Not just perfume.
Uh, custom-made, special order, created just for you
with bubble bath and hand soaps and shampoo.
I never got bubble bath.
Yeah, well, you would've liked it. Smells great.
The point is, I know you, okay?
A-and I got you a gift that was just for you.
Well, I got you a gift--
That was an insult, a complete insult.
And I'll tell you somethin' else.
I'm a better friend than you are.
- Whoa, Gary, I think-- - No, I'm serious.
I am generous and thoughtful.
And I think I've always been a better friend than you.
Tickets to Nelly, third row.
Backstage passes.
[instrumental music]
- What you readin'? - "The Grapes Of Wrath."
I have to do a stupid book report.
Oh, yeah, I never read the book, but it's a great movie.
Need anything from the video store?
[knocking on door] Oh, can you get that?
Yeah.
- Oh, hey, Min! - Hey, Holl.
- Val, hi there. - Hi.
- You guys got a sec? - Oh, yeah, come on in.
Uh, Holly, ca-can you come in the kitchen for a minute?
I'm having trouble finding the cheese.
- Excuse me a sec. - Sure.
- What is she doing here? - What?
What the hell is that woman doing in my living room?
Wait, so you didn't want cheese.
How does she know your name?
I'm sorry, but I talked to her in the gym today.
And you know what? She's not that bad.
She's actually kinda nice.
No! No, she is not nice.
And I told you to stay away from her.
Come on, it was five years ago. She's over it. Just relax.
Oh, look, I can't see this from my window.
- What? - New York.
Oh, here's the cheese!
Okay, just stay behind me, and I'll protect you.
You are the one who's gonna need protecting.
Uh, um, okay then, would you, uh, like something to drink?
No, thanks. I'm only here for a minute.
I just came by to drop this off.
Hm. W-what is it?
This is a copy of your lease agreement.
This is the part that states all tenants must be approved
by the building tenant board.
And this is the approval form for Holly Tyler.
Oh, there isn't one!
What is she talking about?
And this is a notice from the tenants' board
ordering Holly to vacate the premises
by the end of the month.
You know, you were right.
Min is a biatch.
[instrumental music]
Okay, what do you mean I have to move out?
Let me see that. Oh..
- A lot of words. - Give it to me!
Yeah, a lot of words.
Duh! Okay, what is your point?
Well, let me put it to you in a way
maybe you can understand.
Bye-bye.
Well, I'm not going, Min.
Well, if you stay past the end of the month
then Val is in further violation of the lease.
And then you know what happens.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Well, we're gonna fight this.
Well, then you have to take it up
with the president of the tenants' board.
- Well, we will. Give us a name. - Okay.
- Ready? - Yes. Go.
- M-E. - Yeah. Uh-huh.
That's it. Me.
President me.
You have wanted this apartment ever since I moved in.
I can't believe you would stoop this low to get it.
No one's asking you to leave, Val. Just your sister.
Yeah, but you know if she goes, I go with her.
Oh!
What could be sweeter than the love
between two sisters?
Oh, I know, me having a latte every morning
on that balcony.
[door opens]
You know, I don't think that broad knows
who she's dealing with.
We are going to take her down.
I'm not taking anybody down.
Come on, let's call up the tenants' board
and I'll go hillbilly ape crap on 'em.
Holly, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Yes, I'm talking about mad-doggin' 'em.
Would you stop it, okay? We can't win.
Why are you being such a wuss?
I'm not being a wuss. I'm being realistic.
Don't you get it? That woman hates me.
She wants this apartment, and she's president
of the tenants' board. We can't fight them.
Okay, so what are we gonna do, just give up?
You know, oh, this never would've started
if you had just done what I told you to and stayed away from her.
But you couldn't let it go, could you?
No, you saw a little beehive
and you had to go poke it, you, you..
I told you, Holly, don't poke the beehive.
And what did you do, you just reached for your poking stick
and just started poke, poke, pokin'! Aah!
Okay, I'm sorry I was bad! I did a bad thing!
But if we don't fight, then what are we gonna do?
Well, I guess we're gonna have to find another apartment.
- Aren't we? - I like my room.
Well, we'll find another room.
This is New York City, the land of the rooms.
[siren wailing]
So is this your room or my room?
Okay, feel free to look around.
You have any questions, I'll be downstairs.
Uh, actually, I have a question.
Uh, can we paint?
That'd be really nice of you.
Oh. Pretty.
I cannot believe they're asking
for the same rent we're paying now.
I know, I've lived five years
in a rent-controlled apartment.
I had no idea what they were going for these days.
We can fix it up, maybe.
Throw a nice ficus in the corner
maybe a fish tank to justify the smell.
Oh, look. How lovely.
A built-in coffee maker.
I know, I screwed up. I'm sorry.
But I have to ask you something.
How could you forget to put my name in the lease?
I mean, you, of all people, you never forget anything.
Uh, I don't know, but it just got by me.
Just got by you? Nothing gets by you.
Look, uh, alright, can we just go, okay? I don't like it here.
Okay, wait. What are you hiding from me?
- Nothing. - You so are!
You can never look me in the eye when you're hiding something.
I am not hiding anything.
Oh, please. I taught you how to do that.
I'm gonna poke you until you tell me.
- Come on, come on, come on. - Quit.
Quit. Alright, fine!
I didn't forget to put your name on the lease.
You wanna know why I didn't do it?
It was because I wasn't sure if it was gonna work out. Okay?
What do you mean? What wasn't gonna work out?
You living with me.
Uh, I-I was nervous. It was scary.
I have a career, I have a boyf..
I had a boyfriend.
Look, uh, one minute I am living a pretty fast lifestyle
and the next minute I'm responsible
for a 16-year-old kid.
Okay, first of all, that 16-year-old kid is your sister
and second of all, "Fast lifestyle" question mark!
Uh-huh. Okay, look.
My life was about to completely change, okay, I think
it would be understandable that I would be a little--
Afraid. I know!
Well, you must be pretty happy with the way things turned out.
What?
Well, you got to get rid of me
and avoid having another fight with the board.
Would I be standing in this dump if I wanted to get rid of you?
I don't know, I would've thought you'd put my name in the lease
but you didn't do that!
[instrumental music]
[door opens]
Hey. What is that?
I'm gonna start moving my stuff over to nana's tonight.
You're gonna go live with nana?
I'm gonna try it out.
Her shower's got a chair in it.
Easier to shave my legs.
You're gonna shave your legs
on a chair that nana sits on naked?
This may be the answer, okay?
She's close, we can still see each other
but this way, you can keep your apartment
and get back to your fast lifestyle.
By the way, your knitting magazine came.
- Come on, put that down. - No.
- You're not going to nana's. - No, I already talked to her.
And you know what, she's not scared
to put my name on the lease.
Yeah, alright, that is it.
You are not going anywhere.
- Give that back. - No.
- Come on, give it. - Sit down.
Be quiet, and follow me.
- What? - Ugh!
Sit down, I'm gonna make a phone call.
- And then follow me. - Well, you didn't say--
[indistinct yelling]
[instrumental music]
Alright, what is this about?
This is about you sittin' down and shuttin' up.
Maybe you didn't hear me so good.
Now, it says in the lease
that a tenant is allowed to call an emergency meeting
and that is what I'm doing.
So I'm calling one to appeal
the decision about my sister.
Fine, appeal fast 'cause one-third
of the board's got a sweet something
droppin' by to pick her up in a half-hour.
You'll get out of here when I say you get out of here.
- Val, are you sure-- - Sit down!
- I'm mad-doggin' 'em. - Yes, sir.
Now, I have gone over this lease with a fine-toothed comb
and you know what I have discovered?
It is a bunch of crapola.
Can somebody tell me where this is going?
It's a pathetic attempt--
I believe I have the floor, blondie.
You're a blonde, too!
You want to throw my sister out because some stupid rule says
I have to fill out a form?
You know what I say? Screw the rules!
Bye-bye, my pretty room.
Now, do you know that today I was in a gross apartment
with hot and cold running coffee
and I actually considered living there?
That is how much I love my sister.
That's really nice.
You know, maybe we should vote again. I think maybe this--
Now, I know what you're probably thinking.
"Who is this tough New York chick
all up in my grill?"
I am like this because of her. And you know what?
I don't give a tiny rat's ass what you--
Val, they said that they're gonna vote again.
- Quit it. - No, no, you know what?
You don't get to vote on me. You don't get to vote on Holly.
I vote on you. Yeah, that's right.
I vote you out. You, you and you.
Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Val, we're gonna sit down.
Okay, yeah, being mean's making me dizzy.
It's your first time.
Alright, let's all take a deep breath
and try to approach this like adults.
Uh, don't be a wuss. Bring the pain!
Oh, yeah, now I'm getting a headache.
My sister means more to me than anyone else in the world.
Since I started living with her..
...it's been the best year of my life.
And that is the exact tone I'm gonna use
when I take this to court.
And I'll be wearing a much cuter outfit than this.
- I'm voting for the kid. - What about you and you?
Is there anything I can do to sway your vote?
Forget it. You are out by the first.
- Right, Lisa? - Uh..
Come on, Lisa. Isn't there something we can do?
Maybe I'll scratch your back..
Oh, my God! you can't just bribe her!
Shut up, Mindy.
What you got, kid?
[instrumental music]
You know, Holly, you were great in there.
Very effective. So thought-out and so logical.
You were great in there, too. Mean, tough, scary.
I am proud to say that some of me rubbed off on you.
[chuckles]
Ugh! I think I'm gonna go take a bath.
I think I have a rage hangover.
But how do you do it?
Where does all your anger come from?
- Heh-heh. Reality TV. - Right.
[knocking on door]
- Hey. - Hi.
I, um, I wanted to thank you for the concert tickets.
[clicks tongue] Oh, you're welcome.
Well, it was, um
very nice. Very, uh, very thoughtful.
Oh, good, well, I'm pleased that you liked them.
[chuckles] So is that it?
No. No, no, that's not it. Of course that's not it.
Um, I've been thinkin' about how to make it up to you.
And everything I think of doesn't seem right.
I was a real jerk.
And I wasn't being a very good friend.
- I sure am ashamed of myself. - Mm-hmm.
Ah..
Look, I'd really like it if you came with me
to the Nelly concert.
[knocking on door]
Oh, well, I'm actually not a big fan of his music
but, um, it's funny, 'cause I know someone who is.
I'm ready to go. Where's my ticket?
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
[instrumental music]