Nous nous it's
we
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Nous nous it's Saturday, it's 7.00, we are live from
é
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we are live from Television Centre in
é
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in London. Coming up on tonight's show:
é
Q
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show: There's drama in the clone zone
A
Q
é
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zone with the penultimate episode of Double
Stephen
Double Trouble.
Stephen Mulhern's been
Q
Stephen Mulhern's been up to no good in
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in a brand new mission and happiness
is guaranteed when McFly
Q
is guaranteed when McFly perform
live at the End
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live at the End Of The Show Show. I'm
é
F
Q
one
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I'm your star guest announcer for one night only,
Q
é
one night only, Alesha Dixon. First,
guess who's
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guess who's back? The one and only, Ant
é
Q
Ant McPartlin and guess who's really hurt
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é
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hurt his back? Declan Donnelly. And this
A
Q
é
Q
Takeaway. CHEERING
A
é
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello everybody! Come on,
é
Hello everybody! Come on, come on! You
F
é
Night Takeaway still
Q
on
Night Takeaway still the only show
on telly which
on telly which says don't just watch the advertsadverts...
the advertsadverts... ALL: Win
them! Our
F
Win them! Our virtual awed Suedens are
Q
é
are in fine form. Before we get going we
4
A
é
Q
4
Q
going we have a mystery to clear up. There
4
Q
é
There were some strange moments reported on
F
reported on Good Morning Britain, Lorraine,
Q
é
Q
Lorraine, This Morning and Loose Women.
Lorraine Kelly
Q
each. All
A
Lorraine Kelly made news in France
each. All over the papers
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each. All over the papers and social media.
People
media. People speculated it was something
Q
F
Takeaway.
G
Q
something to do with Saturday Night Takeaway. We'd like to
Q
Takeaway. We'd like to make it very clear those
Q
4
é
clear those people were absolutely
right and all will be
é
4
in
Q
right and all will be revealed later
in the show. You do not
4
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in the show. You do not want to miss it.
In the show. You do not want to miss
in the show. You do not want to miss it.
It. Trust
é
Q
Trust me. Let's kick off by say hello
é
Q
hello to you are star guest announcen
Q
é
Q
announcer, Alesha Dixon. So good to
see you.
Because
é
Q
Talent
A
Q
see you. Because Britain's Got
Talent is not on this
g
A
Talent is not on this year, I needed to get my
Q
é
4
A
to get my Ant and Dec fix. Here I am.
To make
Q
have your
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am. To make you feel at home, we
buzzer
have your Britain's Got Talent buzzer up there. I
Q
I
buzzer up there. I know. I love it. I have
Q
anything
A
I have this ready in case I see
anything I don't like tonight,
Q
anything I don't like tonight, boys. I'm sure
Q
g
A
Q
I'm sure you won't need it during tonight's
Q
A
tonight's show. She's here all night, Alesha Dixon
é
night, Alesha Dixon everybody. CHEERING
Aw.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Aw. Nice to see her. He had a
Q
off
Q
é
Q
é
off last Saturday but the Takeaway Rainbow
A
é
Q
Rainbow is back by popular demand
6789ed I know
Q
é
6789ed I know what's at the end of the rainbow?
What?
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the rainbow? What? A "w"! BUZZER
é
BUZZER SOUNDS
What? Really. That
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Really. That didn't take long, did
it? Thank
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Let's light up
that
Thank you, Alesha. Let's light up that rainbow
é
two,
that rainbow in the studio, three, two, one.
We
Q
é
Q
two, one. We are lit. Yes, we are.
Where will
é
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g
let's
Q
Where will it end this week? Well,
let's go live to the other
Q
let's go live to the other end of
the rainbow
Q
é
A
let's
the rainbow where the "w" is and let's find out.
Q
J
Q
What is that?
Let's find out. There it is. What is that? Where
A
What is that? Where is that? What
A
é
Q
What is that lovely looking
monument?
Somewhere under that
é
A
Somewhere under that rainbow is Fleur
A
Hi,
Q
Fleur East Hi,
Q
Fleur East Hi, boys.
I'm out and
Q
é
I'm out and about at a brand new
mystery location with
Q
é
mystery location with one of these, a
é
A
a Takeaway Getaway. Wow, robot arm, looking
Q
é
looking good. Have you been working
out? Can you
Q
out? Can you see our Takeaway Rainbow.
A
Q
é
Q
Rainbow. If the answer's yes, don't leave
é
Q
and look for
leave your home, head to the website
and look for more information.
A
and look for more information. If you're within
é
Q
you're within two miles of our
rainbow, we
Q
rainbow, we could be coming to your doon
é
Q
door. You have around 15 minutes to enter.
Q
é
Q
house
Q
enter. We could be coming to your house later. You
4
Q
g
over.
Over.
Now, every week
Q
Now, every week on this show, we
give away
é
Q
people who've
give away Takeaway Getaways to people who've done wonderful
people who've done wonderful things.
There are some of our viewers who've
done some
done some absolutely shocking
things. One
Q
é
things. One of them is this lady. Her
Q
é
Q
Her name - there she is, she's Maddy
Taylor. She's
é
Q
studio
Taylor. She's on her way into this studio right
4
She thinks
studio right now.
She thinks she's about to walk on to the
F
Q
é
she's
Q
the set of a new game show pilot but she's coming on here
Q
é
music
A
é
Q
she's coming on here to face the music over some of her wrongdoings.
Music over some of her wrongdoings. She's
Q
é
doors
She's on the other side of these doors so
A
é
Q
doors so let's bring her in now. Hi,
Q
Hiya.
Hi, Maddy. Hiya. Hi?
Saturday
Saturday Night Takeaway here. How are
you? I'm fine! Are you
Q
Maddy,
are you? I'm fine! Are you sure? Maddy, come over
on
Maddy, come over here. Sit over here
on the other side
Q
' the sofa. Here?
On the other side of the sofa. Here? On
é
Q
I was
Q
On that blue dot. I was told to
expect the
expect the unexpected. Ah,
Q
é
going
Ah, you see, you thought you were
going to take part in
A
Q
show,
é
Yeah.
Going to take part in a new game show, didn't you? Yeah. Well,
Q
you're
show, didn't you? Yeah. Well, as you're beginning
Q
you're beginning to guess, there is no
no game show, Maddy. It said it was low-budget
Q
4
é
I
é
I figured... I
Q
4
I
Q
not
Q
The truth is
that one.
The truth is Maddy, we know
A
Q
about
The truth is Maddy, we know a lot about you.
Q
about you. You're here tonight because
é
Q
A
very
because you were the subject of a very serious
Q
é
very serious criminal investigation.
Very, very,
Very, very, very serious...
This investigation
A
This investigation is so serious
it's been turned into
Q
it's been turned into a true crime documentary
Q
Really? What
documentary series. Really? What do you
é
Q
you think about that? I
Q
4
Q
I don't know. Let's wait and see. Some of the stuff
Q
é
Some of the stuff you could possibly know,
Q
é
Q
know, I don't think you could air right
Q
right now anyway!
Let's wait and
é
Let's wait and see. Episode one's
about to start.
Is
Q
about to start. Is it? Where do I look?
This Lincolnshire market town may
The people are friendly, kind, trusting.
You might prey on
tricksters in recent years.
My mission is to reveal the shocking truth
of one such trickster.
Is Maddy Taylor.
Parents, Lesley and Bob.
I've heard they're unknowing victims
So, guys, I have to ask, how well
We know her really well,
because she actually spent two years living with us
while they had their house built.
Yep.
You said "they". Who's "they"?
Oh, that's Maddy
that Maddy lived here,
did she do anything to repay your kindness?
Yes.
Didn't she?
And they would go and do some shopping for us
for a couple of hours.
Well, they'd come back
So, did they ever explain why,
when they'd be gone
they only came back with such a small amount of shopping?
OK. Leave this with me.
And I promise you, I WILL get to the bottom of this.
That's the
F
That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. This is
A
F
Q
on
Q
seen. This is a proper mystery. What
on earth do you
Q
on earth do you think was going on?
Supermarkets. KNOCKING Come
Supermarkets. KNOCKING Come on,
é
J
é
F
Q
é
Q
F
Q
F
é
Q
A
Q
é
Q
£
F
A
Q
F
Oh,
Q
Oh,
Oh, it's actual Ross Kemp! Oh, my
God!
É
Oh, my God!
É
Q
F
Q
é
F
Q
é
Q
F
é
Q
é
£
F
é
£
é
Q
F
é
Q
£
é
Q
Two
Q
é
Two years? Maddy, Bob and Lesley, you
Q
é
you had no idea about this? Is there
anything you
Q
é
Q
anything you would like to say to
your daughter? This is unbelievable.
Your daughter? This is unbelievable.
Maddy, you need to
tack
Q
é
Q
tack a long, hard looks in the mirror
Q
mirror and think about the con sec Wednesdays of
A
Wednesdays of your actions.
Bob, Lesley, let's get out of
Bob, Lesley, let's get out of here. Time
A
é
A
Time with your grandchildren is precious.
Precious. But fibbing
Q
A
é
But fibbing to your parents is wrong?
It
A
é
wrong? It is very wrong. Exciting, Ross
Q
Ross Kemp:
Uncovering Maddy
Q
é
Uncovering Maddy Taylor was here.
Guess what? Time for
é
Guess what? Time for episode 2 of Ross
Q
é
on Maddy's next crime,
I'm on my way to meet her husband, Lee.
In his own home.
If what I'm told is true,
then Maddy's actions
of her marriage vows.
But can you tell me what happened?
David Beckham's been
I love the guy.
Through all my life, I've watched him play football
and I had a shirt that I bought,
that was going to be very important to me
to keep for the rest of my life.
I came downstairs one morning and my David Beckham shirt was on the line
and it was completely shrunk.
Peeling off.
Un... believable.
Yes, Ross.
I know this might be painful,
but do you think
I'll give it a go.
Thank you for sharing your pain.
And I promise you,
I will do everything to get to the bottom of this.
Maddy, another
Q
Maddy, another mystery there. Lee's
cherished David Beckham football top
shrunk
é
cherished David Beckham football top
shrunk so much it didn't fit him.
Shrunk so much it didn't fit him. What
é
4
What could possibly have happened to
that shirt, I wonder?
É
that shirt, I wonder? KNOCKING
é
Q
4
é
F
é
F
g
é
F
Where did
é
Where did that window come from?
Come from?
He must have brought
J
A
Q
He must have brought it with him!
F
Q
F
é
Q
F
é
F
£
F
é
A
é
Q
F
é
Lee,
Q
Lee, this is news to you. What
is news to you. What would you like to say to your
4
Lee?
To say to your wife, Lee?
É
Q
Ross,
anything to
anything to add?
A
Q
F
Q
é
Q
LAUGHTER
Wow! Oh,
Q
Oh, poor, poor, Lee. He
é
Q
He has to know who's in charge.
That's pretty bad.
He's
é
That's pretty bad. He's bigger and stronger
A
é
stronger than me. I can only hurt him
é
him through laundry! That's bad behaviour.
Q
é
A
behaviour. The good news is we're having
A
4
having a right old binge-watch tonight.
Q
4
Q
é
Q
Ross
Q
Ross Kemp:
Uncovering Maddy
F
watch, Dec, some
Q
watch, Dec, some food?
Pizza, good
OK.
Unearth her final disturbing crime.
But the shocking truth
the incident even took place.
Hi.
You're Maddy's first cousin, correct?
I am indeed.
Ancl am I right in assuming
that you have become addicted to Maddy's pizzas?
I really have.
To my very own Italian restaurant,
actually built her
in the garden.
My secret sources have told me
I need to speak to a certain resident of Maddy's home.
In order to protect her
from any repercussions.
Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.
Um...
just to be clear,
LAUGHTER
So, can you tell me
with Maddy's pizza oven?
Because it's warmer than the garden?
The grass tickles your...?
That's so wrong.
But that's a pizza oven!
Ross, are you OK?
Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.
I'm fine.
MEOWING
ROSS SIGHS
Oh,
Q
APPLAUSE
Oh, oh Maddy. I don't fancy pizza
anymore.
Oh, oh Maddy. I don't fancy pizza
you
4
Q
anymore. Maddy, is there something
you want to tell everybody
Q
your
you want to tell everybody about your famous
your famous pizzas? Oh,
4
Hold
Q
Oh, God! Hold on, what's going on here?
Q
A
é
here? There's a long rope in the
studio! Oh!
Q
studio! Oh! LAUGHTER
F
Q
é
F
é
F
£
4
£
é
Q
Audience: Argh!
Q
£
F
4
Q
é
Q
F
Q
é
F
ALL: Groaning
Talia,
é
Groaning Talia, you must be appalled by
Q
é
I'm
by this feline felony? I'm
disgusted. How could
disgusted. How could my own cousin do
A
Ross, thoughts?
Q
do this. Ross, thoughts? In all my
é
F
I have to agree. Let's
Q
A
I have to agree. Let's bring back the
Q
F
A
the rest of Maddy's victims, Bob, Lesley,
Q
Lesley, Lee. Come on in. For putting up with this lady,
Q
4
é
up with this lady, you guys deserve sympathy but also some
sympathy but also some compensation.
You really
é
Q
You really do. Courtesy of TUI, we
are sending you
Q
A
é
are sending you on a seven-night
holiday to the home of
é
holiday to the home of pizza, Italy! Enjoy,
Q
Enjoy, guys. Enjoy.
Q
Enjoy. Eat some proper
Enjoy, guys. Enjoy. Eat some proper pizza.
Am I
é
Q
To give you
A
Am I allowed to go? To give you a
chance to
F
chance to think about your dreadful behaviour,
Q
going too! Yeah!
Behaviour, you're going too! Yeah!
Let's hear it for
Q
é
poon
A
F
poor, poor family and, of course, the
é
Q
the brilliant Ross Kemp.
É
é
the brilliant Ross Kemp.
Bye!
Bye.
Bye!
Bye. I
é
4
That
Q
I wasn't expecting that. That had
everything. Now,
4
Q
everything. Now, back to Alesha. What
é
Q
What did you make of Maddy Taylor? Nothing
Nothing says Saturday Night Takeaway
like the words
Q
like the words cat poo pizza. I'm
here for it, Dec.
Here for it,
Still to
here for it, Dec.
The
é
Still to come: Two heads are exactly the same as one
Q
the same as one in the latest episode
Q
é
episode of Double Trouble. Some more
living room legends
A
Q
living room legends take to the mic
in the
Q
in the return of Singalong Live. Plus
é
4
Q
4
Q
Plus the guys from McFly raise the
sky high in the End
é
Welcome back
é
Welcome back to Saturday Night Takeaway.
We've
é
Q
We've popped back to see the stars
of the
Q
é
Q
phone
Q
of the End Of The Show Show. Whose phone was that?
Guys, what
phone was that?
Guys, what did I tell you
Q
putting
Guys, what did I tell you about
putting your phones on silent.
Putting your phones on
Guys, what did I tell you about putting your phones on silent.
We are in
putting your phones on silent.
We are in the middle
é
We are in the middle of a live show.
I think...
Not
4
é
I think... Not now, Ant, I'm
disciplining the crew. When
A
Q
disciplining the crew. When I find out
Q
é
is... It's
out who's phone that is... It's yours!
Yours! I
é
Q
guys.
Bit
guys.
Bit weird you
Q
é
Bit weird you ringing us from your
actual dressing
actual dressing room. All
é
Q
studio
All right, lads, we are not at the studio yet.
Where
Q
4
Q
studio yet. Where are you? We're at home.
Q
F
Q
A
home. Doing what everyone does on a Saturday
Q
A
g
Q
Saturday night,
é
Q
é
You're meant
Q
Of The
You're meant to be in the End
Of The Show Show.
Q
Of The Show Show. Get in a taxi and
get here
4
Q
get here right now.
Q
The
é
The cheeky little macs.
That's the end of the
macs.
That's the end of the End Of The
Show
é
Q
A
é
show. It's science, guys.
It's science, guys. Get over yourself.
Let's
F
yourself. Let's give more people the chance to
Q
é
A
TUI
chance to go on the holidays with TUI holidays.
In Takeaway history,
our series prize is going global.
ANT: Courtesy of TUI,
your holiday destination
You will choose where you go
and over 30 destinations worldwide,
including Egypt...
...and Turkey.
Plus return flights from over 20 UK airports,
it's a prize like never before.
And because you decide
you can soak up some winter sun...
WOLF WHISTLE
all-inclusive stay,
as much as you like.
A free excursion,
so you can choose to get active, get some culture or get wet.
It's high time
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
There's only
Q
There's only two weeks left. Let's give away
Q
é
4
give away some more right now. Dec can't go
Q
é
can't go down the slide this week. He
é
4
F
He hurt his back playing quazketball
last Saturday.
F
last Saturday. The Happiest Minute Of
Q
F
three, two, one. KLAXON SOUNDS
This
Q
KLAXON SOUNDS This week, we're
This week, we're kicking off with our
F
Q
our TikTok Happiest Minute Hero. That
F
That hero is you, Alan Mythsry in Northampton. Alan! You've
Q
Northampton. Alan! You've been a postman
lockdown you persuaded
Q
postman for 25 years. During
lockdown you persuaded other posties to wear
Q
to wear fancy dress to make children laugh
é
laugh on your rounds and organised
care packages.
Care packages. Alan, stop talking and take
Q
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well done,
Q
Well done, Alan. Congratulations.
You're this week's Happiest Minute
Hero.
Q
A
é
Hero. You won a Takeaway Getaway!
CHEERING Next up
A
Q
CHEERING Next up is you, Tim Shuttleworth
F
squash
Shuttleworth in Staffordshire. Don't
squash the dog there! Tim joined
Q
squash the dog there! Tim joined the Armed
é
in the
Q
Armed Forces aged 18. Spent 27 years in the fire brigade
Q
for
Q
in the fire brigade and now works
for a chart working with
Q
A
for a chart working with people with
special needs.
A
Q
é
special needs. Tim, you're a special fella. You deserve
é
fella. You deserve a Takeaway Getaway.
Next
g
Q
é
Next up is you, Shameela
Islam-Zulfiqar in
é
Q
A
Islam-Zulfiqar in Manchester. As a doctor,
doctor, you travelled to war-torn
country to
A
é
Q
country to help refugees and set up the
%
Response
the team side COVID Recovery
Response to help your
é
Response to help your community dufing
é
Q
é
during lockdown. You deserve a
break. We are giving you
A
é
Getaway.
Break. We are giving you a Takeaway
Getaway. Back into the virtual
audience with
audience with Ant. Thanks,
é
Q
g
Q
Thanks, Dec. Over to you, TJ Rose in Essex! Hello,
Q
Essex! Hello, TJ. Put him down so he
can see.
É
Q
can see. T], we know you love
animals so much
Q
F
animals so much that when Colchester
Zoo closed
é
Q
Zoo closed last year you raised over
£11,000 for them by running a
marathon across
Q
é
marathon across 12 days, dressed as a
A
Q
4
Q
a lion. There he is! We want to say thanks
é
Colchester
thanks to you and the guys of
Colchester Zoo.
Thank you. Well
Q
4
Thank you. Well done, TJ. You have a Takeaway
Takeaway Getaway. CHEERING The
4
g
4
non-plussed!
Next up,
é
Next up, Laura and Gordon Fearens in
Barnsley. Hiya. We heard
é
you celebrated
Barnsley. Hiya. We heard this week you celebrated your
é
you celebrated your platinum wedding anniversary.
Q
é
anniversary. 70 years of marriage is incredible.
Q
4
are getting
incredible. For that, from us, you are getting a
é
are getting a Takeaway Getaway. Well done!
Are getting a Takeaway Getaway. Well
are getting a Takeaway Getaway. Well done!
Done!
LAUGHTER Back into
Q
é
Back into the virtual audience, Ant. Thanks, Dec.
Q
A
Thanks, Dec. Get over here, you. Next
g
Q
é
from
Next up is you, Sophia Grace Leech from Swansea.
From
Next up is you, Sophia Grace Leech from Swansea.
From Swansea. Hiya, darling.?
É
had
Hiya, darling.? December 2019 Sophia had both her
Q
é
Q
had both her knees reconstructed clue to
Q
é
had to learn
to a rare genetic condition and she
had to learn to walk all
A
Q
had to learn to walk all over again. Her strength
A
Her strength is an inspiration. Sophia
Q
Sophia Grace, you are brilliant,
darling. You
é
darling. You deserve a Takeaway Getaway.
KLAXON SOUNDS
We
KLAXON SOUNDS
The Happiest
We have to stop there. The Happiest Minute Of
Q
over. Next
The Happiest Minute Of The Week is
over. Next week is
Q
the
over. Next week is the last one of
the series. If
Q
é
deserves
é
the series. If you know somebody who
deserves one, get in touch with us.
Deserves one, get in touch with us. All of the
Q
é
All of the details are on screen
now.
Who fancies
é
Who fancies a trip to the cinema?
I'm glad
F
Q
I'm glad to hear it. Some of you
were disappointed it
Q
A
were disappointed it wasn't here last
Q
Yes,
J
last week but it's back. Yes, it is. Grab
Yes, it is. Grab your popcorn, settle
Q
é
Q
episode
settle down and get ready for episode 4 of
F
OMINOUS MUSIC
BEAR GRYLLS: Consider this a safe house
£
about these clones,
they're ruining our reputations.
What just happened?
Almost too easy!
I don't know anything.
So, you refuse to tell us
are planning, huh?
Well,
Right, then, me old cocker,
shall me and thee have a good old gossip?
50, Bear, what's your plan to defeat
Well...
Just in case I forget anything.
Number one, food.
Is to chow down on some of these maggots.
Are full of food.
Thank you.
Number two, rest.
F
Camp beds?
Of course.
Number three, hydration.
Has drunk their own urine?
DISGUSTED SIGH
Ha-ha-ha! You're all doomed.
...is what THEY'RE going to say.
Which is a real shame
Well, I don't see you coming up with any smart ideas, as per usual.
It's simple, inferior scum...
Right!
É
Oh, you're good, McPartlin.
You might say,
Brad Pitt?!
No, it's you, you idiot.
Get him on his feet. I want to take him on man to man.
You know what this means.
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Ver ver im ressive. Y Y
Thank you, morons... I mean, lads.
COMMENTATOR:
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Look, can we just talk this out?
I know. I know your every weakness...
Urgh, I hate wet willies!
...your every vulnerability...
GROANS
with a frying pan.
To be fair, everybody hates that.
PAN CLATTERS
BOTH YELL
PHONE RINGS
RECORDED MESSAGE:
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Hello, it's me.
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So easy to defeat.
We've got loads of clones.
Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
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and he's down there giving your lot a good old-fashioned butt-kicking.
I'm not a violent man,
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That's what you get
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Some of you lot get to sing while
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For Erasure. Thank you.
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The clock's already ticking for your
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I'm A Celebrity. Andi Peters everybody!
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LAUGHTER
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Love you too! Laugh laugh Round of applause for
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applause for Lorraine everybody. All of
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completely
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Welcome back. In a moment, James Martin is
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LAUGHTER
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Guys, massive
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I mean, we smashed it. Guys, massive
round of applause for your
round of applause for your Loose Women!
Right, I'm
A
Q
reveal
Right, I'm back at the studio to
reveal the winner of On
é
reveal the winner of On Air Dares. Come
é
On
Q
Come on, guys, let's do this.
On the other side of
Q
On the other side of this wall is the
Q
Guys, stop, stop!
Q
g
Q
Guys, stop, stop! I bring good news.
This Morning, you
Q
é
This Morning, you are the winners of On
Q
CHEERING
On Air Dares. CHEERING
Yes,
é
Yay!
Yes, look at that, you won. Look at
that.
I
Q
that. I was expecting something
A
Q
I was expecting something a bit bigger!
That will go beside the
bigger! That will go beside the
BA FTA.
A thing of beauty.
Q
A thing of beauty. Thank you, Stevie.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Wow! They all did brilliantly.
Listen,
é
Q
shows
Listen, full respect to all of the shows and
é
shows and presenters and the teams behind
Q
é
Q
behind it. Being live, you know this
more than anyone,
é
Q
more than anyone, you have to be careful
F
Q
careful with with what you say. When somebody's
Q
A
é
Q
somebody's taken over your show and they
4
Q
é
they were all game for it. How
é
A
é
Everybody went
Q
How did you chose your winner? Everybody went for it?
Card
é
Q
Everybody went for it? For every card they got correct they got
card they got correct they got a point.
É
4
Q
point. Let me tell you now, This Morning
Q
é
Morning only won by three points. It was
Q
A
Q
was so tight. But it was just
amazing how each show,
é
Q
head
é
amazing how each show, Susanna, oh,
head teacher, she weren't going
anywhere
head teacher, she weren't going
anywhere near it. We thought
Lorraine
Q
anywhere near it. We thought Lorraine did really
was
Q
é
Lorraine did really well. Lorraine was on her own. Tougher on
A
was on her own. Tougher on your own. She
Q
é
Q
she
She was brilliant. Not only the fact
she was on
Q
4
Q
é
talking
she was on her own. When somebody's talking about
é
Q
talking about their tour and the
presenter starts
é
presenter starts yawning live. Am I boring you!
Boring you!
So good.
It was KSI.
So good. It was KSI. She was fine. The
é
Q
é
The response was amazing by the
press and
Q
press and on social media. You knew
during the day it
Q
é
We'd
during the day it was going on? We'd finish
go, it's going nuts
Q
finish a show, the producer would go, it's going nuts on social media.
Maybe
go, it's going nuts on social media. Maybe Lorraine's
A
é
Q
Maybe Lorraine's a bill drunk. I saw Lorraine
é
Lorraine in the studio yesterday walking
é
A
Q
walking down the corridor. I hid in a
é
F
Q
a dressing room. I thought, will she
be angry with me.
Be angry with me. Sheness aren't, no.
It
é
4
no. It was brilliant. You were brilliant.
Q
é
brilliant. Thanks to Good Morning
Britain, Lorraine, This
é
Britain, Lorraine, This Morning and Loose
é
g
sports. Stephen,
Loose Women for being such good sports. Stephen, can
4
Q
sports. Stephen, can I say one
thing, you
é
Q
see
thing, you wait until next year to see where
Q
é
see where we send you then! Yeah, baby.
Q
4
Q
baby. Lots of ideas. Back to Alesha. What's coming
up: Still
é
tonight,
What's coming up: Still to come
tonight, one lucky
é
Q
tonight, one lucky member of our
virtual audience
Q
virtual audience plays for the chance
é
Q
prizes
chance to win a sensational pile of prizes in
Q
A
g
Q
prizes in Win The Ads. We'll find out
Welcome
4
Q
é
Welcome back to your Saturday Night Takeaway.
Q
é
Takeaway. Still to come: McFly are
bringing us an amazing virtual
Q
bringing us an amazing virtual gig.
They are
Q
é
Q
They are at home on their sofa and their
é
studio.
Their instruments are here in the studio. Not
A
Q
é
studio. Not sure how it's going to work.
É
é
work. It will be interesting.
I'm sure they
Q
4
I'm sure they know what they're
doing. Let's
g
Q
4
Q
doing. Let's hope so. They said it
was going
Q
F
was going to be amazing. Let's hope it is
F
it is amazing. Let's catch up with Fleur East.
Q
A
é
where the
Fleur East. It's time to discover where the Takeaway Rainbow
4
where the Takeaway Rainbow ends
tonight. Hi, Fleur? Hi, boys.
A
é
Q
other end
Hi, boys. I can tell you tonight the other end of
Q
é
A
other end of our Takeaway Rainbow is at Peterborough Cathedral. I'm in
the winner's
Q
é
the winner's street. Be on standby
if you
é
on
if you entered. I could be knocking on your
A
é
Q
on your door within seconds. Here's the
F
é
J
They've
up!
They've no idea.
I
Very nice door. I can
F
4
é
excited!
I can hear screaming. They are very
excited! Helen? You
Q
excited! Helen? You are at the end off
Q
é
off our Takeaway Rainbow. You've
Q
é
How do you feel?
You've won a Takeaway Getaway.
How do you feel? Thank you, amazing. Who's
Q
F
Where's
A
Who's the house with you tonight? Where's your dream
Oh,
A
Q
Where's your dream destination? Oh, I don't know.
4
Q
Oh, I don't know. They want to go to
Turkey. The kids. Somewhere sunny
and lovely. Lovely.
É
and lovely. Lovely. Has this made your
g
Q
é
your year, guys? We need
it. Are
é
We need it. Are you excited?
Yeah!
Amazing.
Yeah! Amazing. Congratulations.
Amazing. Congratulations. Have a
wonderful holiday. Thank
wonderful holiday. Thank you, thank you
Q
Thank
Q
Enjoy
you so, so much. Thank you, boys. Enjoy it,
guys. Well done.
Enjoy it, guys. Well done. Thank
é
Thank you, Fleur. Enjoy your holiday,
Q
it?
It?
It's time
Q
é
It's time to Win The Ads now.
Who wants
Q
A
Q
é
Who wants to win a lot of fantastic
prizes? Glad
Q
A
Q
prizes? Glad to hear it.
Time to give
Q
é
Q
Time to give one member of the
virtual audience to win the
é
of
Q
virtual audience to win the contents
of ad breaks from Thursday's
é
of
Q
of ad breaks from Thursday's episode of Tipping Point. Earlier
Q
of Tipping Point. Earlier today, our Win
Q
é
Q
Win The Ads player was selected at random.
Q
é
A
random. Off you go, lads. There they
go. No pipes this week. Go
Q
go. No pipes this week. Go on there,
lad, get
Q
4
Down
é
lad, get a pipe. Gone to Beds side. Down another pipe.
4
Down another pipe. Back to his side. Is
J
4
Q
Is it you? No.
Come on, little Dec. Jump
Come on, little Dec. Jump into your
pipe and see
Q
é
pipe and see where you land. There
he goes. Is it
é
Q
4
he goes. Is it going to be you?
Yes, it
Q
CHEERING Yes,
Q
A
Yes, it is! CHEERING Yes, it's you. Let's
tonight.
Let's see what's up for grabs tonight.
DEC: A BMW 1 Series worth over £23,000 from Cinch.
ANT: £1,500 to spend on a holiday
A sofa, bed and coffee table
A Britbox subscription and a Samsung "The Frame" TV
Plus two Halo capsule cleaners.
A Husqvarna automatic lawn mower.
Plus - multipurpose cleaner...
...some sweets...
to make Declan flustered.
Are
CHEERING Are you
OK, darling? I am, yes.
Are you OK, darling? I am, yes.
Good.
Just a
4
é
Q
Just a little bit shocked. That's
understandable. Very. All of those
prizes you saw including
prizes you saw including the car and
holiday could be
é
holiday could be yours
prizes you saw including the car and holiday could be yours tonight.
Who is that
Q
holiday could be yours tonight.
Who is that you are watching the
show
with earlier? I was
é
show with earlier? I was watching it with
Q
partner and son. They've
left
with my partner and son. They've left the
Q
left the room now? Yeah, they're gone.
Q
A
gone. Out of the way. Where are you
é
4
From
Where are you watching us from From my
Q
Sorry,
my living room.
Sorry, Ruislip! Very
é
LAUGHTER
Take a final look
Q
for
Q
Take a final look at the prize board for us tonight.
É
Q
for us tonight. We are just about to cover
Q
g
cover them
Shuffle
Q
cover them over.
Shuffle them up and give each
Q
them
A
Shuffle them up and give each one of
them a number. There
Q
é
which
Q
which prizes are where. We'll
é
Q
We'll ask as many questions in 75 seconds.
Seconds. As
g
Q
é
Q
taken
As ever, all of the questions are
taken from this week's news.
Get a
é
Q
A
and
Get a question right, pick a number and the
g
é
and the prize behind that number could be yours
Q
A
Q
could be yours to take away. It is just
Q
A
é
seconds on the clock
Q
just as it normally is. We'll put 75
are your
seconds on the clock for you. There are your 75
é
are your 75
seconds on the clock for you. There
are your 75 seconds. Breathe. The
é
4
Breathe. The very best of luck.
Your
Breathing! Your time
é
Your time starts now. US cartoon the Simpsons marked
Q
é
episode.
Simpsons marked which milestone
episode.
Episode. 700th
é
700th. Yes,
Q
700th or 800thed? 700th. Yes, pick a number.
66 Which area
Q
number. 66 Which area of the UK has
become the most searched place
Q
become the most searched place to live
Q
Cornwall or
live in.
Cornwall or Devon? Devon. No
Cornwall. England beat San marine
know in Thursday's
é
qualifier.
É
7-
qualifier. 5-0. Yes 7.
Who will play
é
Jamie
Who will play Mike Tyson? Jamie
Foxx.
Yes,
pick a number. 12. Which music
Yes, pick a number. 12. Which music
platform released
A
Q
platform released a new feature called
Q
é
therapy.
Q
called say list to aid speech
therapy. Spotify or Apple
Q
therapy. Spotify or Apple Music? Apple
Music. Yes,
Q
é
Q
A
Apple Music. Yes, pick a number. 4. A Banksy
é
Q
A Banksy painting sold at auction for
Q
F
for how much? £16.8 million or £18.6 million.
Million. £16.8
Q
The Queen's
£16.8 million. The Queen's
granddaughterer Zara
4
é
granddaughterer Zara gave birth to a
boy. What's his
name? Lucas
boy. What's his name? Lucas Philip. According
Q
F
According to the new world happiness
reported... New
é
A
é
New Zealand. New Zealand. Wait
Q
é
country
Wait for the options! Sorry. Which country in
Q
country in the world is the happiest,
é
Q
' Finland! Oh,
sorry!
Happiest, Denmark or Finland! Oh, sorry!
LAUGHTER
sorry! LAUGHTER Sorry.
É
No,
Sorry. Denmark. No, it's Finland!
LAUGHTER
Aw! New Zealand is a very nice
place! You
Q
é
Q
place! You got six questions correct
which means
Q
4
Q
é
you've
é
which means you have six prizes. But you've no idea what those
you've no idea what those prizes are.
F
are. Now you've got a decision to
make. You're
é
Q
to
make. You're going to decide whether to stay
A
é
Q
é
to stay with the prizes you have won we'll
Q
é
we'll ask you one time question. If
you answer
Q
é
Q
you answer the correctly you win the
lot. We can't see
4
é
Q
We are
Q
We can't see what she's won so far.
We are all in the same
A
Q
None
Q
We are all in the same boat here.
None of us know which prize is
where.
A
Q
where. It is a big decision. It
What would
It is.
What would you do
é
What would you do at home? What do you
Q
é
Q
virtual
you think you should do in the virtual audience
F
Q
virtual audience everybody? Stay or
play? Stay,
g
é
play? Stay, Play! Just a noise. It is.
A
Q
é
Q
4
is. Kind of stay, kind of play. Ross
Kemp votes...
é
g
LAUGHTER
He will be
é
LAUGHTER He will be up there for a while!
So that's
F
So that's what everybody else thinks.
A
Q
é
A
up to you.
Thinks. It is not up to them. It is
up to you. Are you going
Q
up to you. Are you going to stay or play?
Well,
é
Q
play? Well, I came with nothing so if
A
Q
A
é
if I go with nothing, I'lljust
play. She's
é
play. She's going to play! Is CHEERING
For
Q
é
CHEERING For the first time tonight, let's
Q
4
Q
4
Ooh! You
Q
A
Q
let's see what you had already won.
Ooh! You had a beach holiday and
A
Ooh! You had a beach holiday and a car and
F
car and the kitchen appliances and the
A
é
the sofa and bed.
Car and the kitchen appliances and the sofa and bed. Aw!
And the robotic
the sofa and bed. Aw!
And the robotic lawnmower. You
decided to
Q
4
Q
decided to play. I have to accept your
é
Q
A
Q
hard.
Your first answer. Think long and
your first answer. Think long and
hard. Here's
A
Q
F
The
4
Here's your make or break question.
The Suez Canal. One of the
Q
busiest
The Suez Canal. One of the world's busiest and
g
é
busiest and most important waterways
has been
F
é
has been blockeded since Tuesday by a container
a container ship operated by catch
ever Green. Is the ship called Ever
Given or
A
Q
Ever
Given or Ever After. Ever Given? Is
Q
A
Q
It is
A
é
Is that a guess? It is a guess. Ever Given.
It
Q
g
Q
It is a good guess, it's the right answer!
Yay!
Answer! Yay! CHEERING
Q
A
Q
CHEERING Get the family back in. She's
Q
é
Q
She's won the mustard. How do you feel?
Feel? Are
F
Q
Are you happy? CHEERING Good, well done. Let's
A
é
You
F
clone. Let's hear it for Aquilla. You could be playing Win
Q
next week.
Q
You could be playing Win The Ads
next week. All of the details are
Q
next week. All of the details are on our website.
É
Q
our website. Back to you, Alesha. Coming
é
promised
Coming up after the break: Mcfly
promised us an incredible
Q
promised us an incredible End Of The Show
é
Q
é
Welcome back
Q
A
é
Q
Welcome back to your Saturday Night
Takeaway. What
Q
é
Takeaway. What a night we've had.
We've heard
é
Q
We've heard the tale of the cat poo pizza. We've
é
Q
pizza. We've shown Erasure a little
respect and seen Lorraine
Q
respect and seen Lorraine get totes
emosh.
Now, live
Q
é
Now, live in the studio, it's McFly
in the
Q
in the End Of The Show Show.
Actually, that's an
Q
Actually, that's an old script.
It is
A
é
Q
It is a virtual gig on our new
screen. Please
F
Mic! I
g
A
screen. Please welcome, McFly.
# Stepping out my frond
# Stepping out my frond door # Don't know what
A
Q
-
Q
# Don't know what I left for # Could have stayed in
Q
é
# Could have stayed in bed with you all
Q
all day #
Q
-
A
# I'm already calling # I love
A
# I love it when we're talking #
A
Q
4
A
Q
-
brain # I
é
A
é
# I never thought a guy like me would
Q
A
would find it
# I
é
# I would repeat it if I could
rewind it
#
Q
é
# I guess the only way I could
describe it
#
F
A
Q
4
# It's like hearing a love song and jumping
jumping inside it
#So
Q
A
é
# So this is happiness
# Yeah, this
A
# Yeah, this is happiness
# If this is happiness #
A
é
Q
# I don't mind having this #
# So this is happiness # Yeah,
Q
A
é
-
A
# If this is happiness
# I don't mind having
Q
# I don't mind having this # You got
é
Q
# Oblivious to
# Oblivious to trouble # Right now, there
Q
é
I'd rather be #
Q
Mark
# I'm not saying that I'm perfect
Mark I don't
Q
é
J
Mark I don't think that I deserve it
# I guess
Q
é
Q
# I guess it's something in me I
don't see
#
A
Q
é
A
Q
# I never thought a guy like me would
Q
A
Just
would find it million...
Just like it should
Q
Just like it should be, you and me
ona
é
on a Saturday night. Shush! # It's
Q
é
jumping
# It's like hearing a love song and jumping inside
Q
jumping inside it. # So
Q
A
é
# So this is happiness # Yeah, this
-
# Yeah, this is happiness # If this is
é
# If this is happinessness # I
Q
# I don't mind having this
# So this is happiness # Yeah, this
é
# Yeah, this is happiness
#If
Q
A
# If this is happiness #
A
Q
Oh, what are you
# I don't mind having this million
Oh, what are you up to now?
Get us
Q
Get us out of here.
Get us out of there!
Get us out of there! You naughty boys!
Boys! # It's the only way to
é
J
# It's the only way to describe it
#It is
Q
é
Q
é
# It is like hearing a love song and
jumping inside it
-
Q
A
# Yeah, this is
é
# If this
A
# If this is happiness #
Q
F
# So,
Q
# I don't mind happen having this
-
Q
# So, this is happiness
# Yeah, this is happiness
#If
Q
A
é
# I don't
# If this is happiness
# Nah, nah,
A
é
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah #
Q
é
A
Q
# I don't mind having this. # 2348
What?
That's all
Q
4
Q
That's all we've time for tonight. Thanks
é
Q
Fleur
Thanks to all of tonight's guests, Fleur East, Ross
Q
Fleur East, Ross Kemp. Blah, blah, I'll take
J
é
Q
I'll take it from here, boys. To Andi
Q
Alesha
Andi Peters. Alesha Dixon, Erasure
Q
Alesha Dixon, Erasure and the brilliant
Q
brilliant McFly who are touring in September.
Q
A
Q
September. Oh, yeah, and, of course, those two and,
Q
é
those two and, me, Stephen Mulhern! Saturday
F
Saturday Night Takeaway: Extra Helping
é
Player.
Join me
é
here
Join me next week, Sir Mo Farah is
here and my
é
A
Mo
F
A
Mo Gilligan. See you then next
Saturday at
é
Q
Saturday at 7pm on the only show on
the telly that says don't
é
the telly that says don't just watch
the adverts... ALL:
Win them!
Q