1 00:00:01,115 --> 00:00:03,138 [Light Rock] 2 00:00:11,723 --> 00:00:15,624 This bed is on fire with passionate love 3 00:00:15,727 --> 00:00:19,594 The neighbors complain about the noises above 4 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:23,323 But she only comes when she's on top 5 00:00:29,105 --> 00:00:32,300 Well, Michelle, we did it. Happy graduation. 6 00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:41,341 You know, living at my parents' house, 7 00:00:41,448 --> 00:00:44,472 th-that's, um... that's a temporary thing. 8 00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:48,313 Uh, we've been going out for, what, three years. 9 00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:51,013 You're not, like, getting bored with things, are you? 10 00:00:51,156 --> 00:00:55,614 Michelle, I... I'm gonna ask you something that I've never asked you before. 11 00:00:55,727 --> 00:00:58,922 Is it kinky? I don't think so. No. 12 00:00:59,030 --> 00:01:03,932 You don't have to be embarrassed if you want to add more spiciness to our relationship. 13 00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:07,324 Actually, um, 14 00:01:07,436 --> 00:01:10,233 maybe you couldjust, uh, you know, 15 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,237 use your napkin. 16 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:16,241 My napkin? [Man] Mr. Levenstein. 17 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,741 Yes. You have a phone call. 18 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,540 Excuse me. Thank you. 19 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:24,343 - Hello. - Jim, it's Dad. Uh, you left the ring at home. 20 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,349 The box is empty. But-But I'm on my way, 21 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,509 and I've got the... 22 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:31,177 I've got the ring, so don't panic, son. Okay? 23 00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:33,186 [Jim's Dad] Bye-bye. [Phone Beeps Off] 24 00:01:33,290 --> 00:01:35,951 Who was that? 25 00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:38,756 Uh, that was my dad. 26 00:01:38,863 --> 00:01:41,797 That was, uh, my dad. That was, uh... He couldn't get through on... 27 00:01:41,898 --> 00:01:43,955 I didn't answer my cell. So he was, uh, 28 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:46,057 getting all, uh... was getting all worried. 29 00:01:46,169 --> 00:01:49,137 You know how he is. But everything is, uh... everything is okay now. 30 00:01:49,271 --> 00:01:51,261 Everything is, uh... Everything is perfectly fine. 31 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,965 I think I know what you're gonna ask me. 32 00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:59,276 And it's okay. I... I don't have to use my napkin. 33 00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:02,279 - Wha... - I've got my own techniques. 34 00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:08,285 Michelle, where... where are you going? 35 00:02:08,386 --> 00:02:11,286 Michelle? Hey. Hey. [Chuckles Nervously] 36 00:02:11,389 --> 00:02:13,322 Okay. [Groans] 37 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,516 Okay, Michelle. Michelle. 38 00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:19,788 Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Michelle. 39 00:02:19,897 --> 00:02:22,159 Psst! 40 00:02:22,299 --> 00:02:24,960 Michelle, I think you need to stop. Okay, keep going. 41 00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:27,034 [Shudders] 42 00:02:27,136 --> 00:02:30,228 Oh, my God. Michelle. Michelle. 43 00:02:31,606 --> 00:02:33,596 Michelle. Oh, my God. 44 00:02:34,708 --> 00:02:36,970 Oh, my God. Okay. 45 00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:39,635 Well, I made it. Where's Michelle? The washroom? 46 00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:43,510 You know, I was so nervous she was gonna spot me. Here's the ring, son. 47 00:02:43,616 --> 00:02:45,878 Ohh. Let me tell you something. 48 00:02:46,019 --> 00:02:48,714 This is some ring. Look at the rock on this baby. 49 00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:51,755 Mr. Big Spender. Hope you didn't blow your wad on this, son. 50 00:02:51,857 --> 00:02:54,347 Not yet. Your mother and I... 51 00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:56,983 could not be more thrilled for you, Jim. 52 00:02:57,128 --> 00:03:00,790 I mean, we're so happy. And I know you're excited. I can see it in your face. 53 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,763 - I mean, you look like you're ready to burst. - Uh-huh. 54 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:06,858 I mean, your cheeks, they're flush. I wish your mother could be here. 55 00:03:07,036 --> 00:03:09,434 Not me. That's what I wish. You know, this is... 56 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,266 this is one of those moments, Jim, 57 00:03:12,374 --> 00:03:14,670 that you're gonna remember for the rest of your life. 58 00:03:14,776 --> 00:03:16,969 - Yes, it is. - You bet it is. 59 00:03:17,078 --> 00:03:19,340 You bet it is. 60 00:03:19,446 --> 00:03:22,641 I cannot believe my son is gonna pop the question. 61 00:03:22,748 --> 00:03:24,771 - [Thud] - What was that? 62 00:03:24,884 --> 00:03:26,874 Th-That? 63 00:03:26,986 --> 00:03:29,179 That? Knockin' on wood. 64 00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:32,744 And what is this, uh, popping... popping what? What question? 65 00:03:32,858 --> 00:03:35,188 You are... Oh, you're a wreck. What... 66 00:03:35,293 --> 00:03:37,350 You need some air. You need some air. 67 00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:39,518 - Walk me to my car. - No, I'm not walking you... 68 00:03:39,662 --> 00:03:42,425 - Listen to me. This is for your own good. - [Gasping] 69 00:03:42,565 --> 00:03:44,555 Oh! 70 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:47,328 Your penis! 71 00:03:47,469 --> 00:03:49,560 - [Both Yelling] - [Gasping Continues] 72 00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:51,069 [Laughing] 73 00:03:51,173 --> 00:03:52,469 Watch your penis. I got it. 74 00:03:52,573 --> 00:03:54,563 Your pants. I got the pants! 75 00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:56,574 I got the pants! Please! 76 00:03:56,677 --> 00:03:58,802 Everybody, please. Everybody just calm down here. 77 00:03:58,912 --> 00:04:01,105 Everybody, just quiet! Lower your voice. 78 00:04:01,214 --> 00:04:03,339 [Crowd Hushes, Murmurs] 79 00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:06,075 It's disgusting! 80 00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:11,983 Now, 81 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:14,852 I came here to do something... 82 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:17,722 [Sighs] And, damn it, I'm... I'm gonna do it. 83 00:04:23,032 --> 00:04:25,362 Michelle. 84 00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,128 [Crowd Gasping] 85 00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:30,966 Hello, dear. 86 00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:35,405 Michelle Anabeth Flaherty, 87 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,943 I love you... 88 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,406 more than I could... 89 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,176 ever explain at this particular moment. 90 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,911 Dad. The ring. 91 00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,514 Oh. 92 00:04:58,628 --> 00:05:00,719 Will you marry me? Yes. 93 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,030 My son. 94 00:05:25,151 --> 00:05:27,515 I'm the happiest man in the world. 95 00:05:27,652 --> 00:05:29,743 [Crowd Gasping] 96 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,582 We should all be so happy. 97 00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:36,885 [Rock] 98 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,499 I 99 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,691 I'm a one-way motorway 100 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:51,770 I'm a road that drives away 101 00:05:51,872 --> 00:05:54,635 Follows you back home 102 00:05:56,577 --> 00:05:58,907 I 103 00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:02,138 I'm a streetlight shining 104 00:06:02,282 --> 00:06:04,875 I'm a white light blindin'bright 105 00:06:04,984 --> 00:06:07,474 Burnin'off and on 106 00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:09,916 Cheers, gentlemen, sweetheart. 107 00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:13,918 I'm impressed. 108 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,686 Marriage is a binding, 109 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,851 unifying, eternal, 110 00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:23,226 never-ending, permanent... 111 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,232 chaining together of two people. 112 00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:30,103 Jim, have you thought this through? 113 00:06:30,205 --> 00:06:32,501 Yes. Yes, Finch. Thank you. 114 00:06:32,607 --> 00:06:35,131 I had actually been trying to figure it out for a while. 115 00:06:35,242 --> 00:06:37,971 You know, when is the right time? Is there a right time? 116 00:06:38,112 --> 00:06:42,547 And finally I realized, duh, you love the girl, marry her. 117 00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:45,345 Aw. [Pop On Jukebox] 118 00:06:45,451 --> 00:06:47,941 Oh! Let's dance. Dance? 119 00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:50,782 No. No, you have to learn sometime. 120 00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:53,718 Come on! You cannot run You cannot hide it 121 00:06:53,858 --> 00:06:58,726 Everything they tell you is messing up your mind Don't laugh at me. 122 00:06:58,828 --> 00:07:02,387 They don't give up and I don't give in Okay, okay. 123 00:07:02,532 --> 00:07:04,623 I'm just glad that's not me. 124 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:10,034 Finch, you don't think there's one girl you're destined to spend your entire life with? 125 00:07:11,239 --> 00:07:13,229 They're all for me, Kevin. 126 00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:16,969 Not, uh... Not so bad, huh? All right. 127 00:07:17,077 --> 00:07:19,738 Do this. [Groans] 128 00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:21,745 I'm sorry. 129 00:07:21,847 --> 00:07:24,371 Well, the wedding should be rather entertaining. 130 00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:29,517 [Chattering] 131 00:07:36,593 --> 00:07:39,584 Bro, that's it? 132 00:07:39,697 --> 00:07:41,720 There's no keg anywhere. 133 00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:45,589 Jim. Hey, John. 134 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:47,895 The food and the drink are really bad. 135 00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:49,902 "F" for presentation. 136 00:07:50,005 --> 00:07:52,768 The good news for you... What's that? 137 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,306 We're gonna be ushers at the wedding. 138 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,011 [Sighs] This is amazing. 139 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,773 I don't recognize half the people in this place. [Doorbell Rings] 140 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,814 At least they all brought gifts. 141 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,544 Hello. Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty. 142 00:08:07,686 --> 00:08:09,914 Oh, hello. Harold Flaherty. 143 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,853 Please, please come in. Lovely to meet you. 144 00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:15,583 We've been expecting you. How was your trip? 145 00:08:15,693 --> 00:08:19,092 - Delightful. - Who's excited about the wedding? 146 00:08:19,196 --> 00:08:21,424 Anxious might be more accurate. 147 00:08:21,531 --> 00:08:23,430 Oh, w-w-we've never met your son. 148 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:25,432 You'll get to meet him. 149 00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:27,501 Rudy and Sam would like to meet him too. Oh, yes. 150 00:08:27,603 --> 00:08:29,762 Better bring them in from the car. They've been cooped up. 151 00:08:29,904 --> 00:08:31,803 Oh, for heaven sakes. You brought your sons? 152 00:08:31,906 --> 00:08:34,168 Our dogs. We never travel without them. 153 00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:36,299 Oh, my goodness. Well, honey, 154 00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:40,209 why don't you go get those critters out of the car and we'll start on some cocktails? 155 00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:44,373 Ah, thank you. Right. I'll, uh, get the dogs. 156 00:08:44,517 --> 00:08:47,485 There's one thing that'll make this wedding perfect. 157 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:49,519 No Stifler. 158 00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:52,054 Well, that's one dick we are not inviting. 159 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,783 - Motion seconded. - Motion carried. 160 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:59,383 So, Finch, what are you gonna do with that fancy NYU diploma? 161 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:03,260 I'll frame it. Then I'll write my memoirs. 162 00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:06,959 Well, you should come to law school, man. You know I could use the company. 163 00:09:07,136 --> 00:09:10,262 Kids, Michelle's parents are here. Come on. We're waiting. 164 00:09:10,439 --> 00:09:11,996 Oh, crumbs on the shirt. That's bad. Okay. That's fine. 165 00:09:13,274 --> 00:09:13,340 [Skipped item nr. 165] 166 00:09:13,341 --> 00:09:15,398 I'll change. I'll change. 167 00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:19,403 Fuckers. 168 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,816 Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milk shake. 169 00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:41,051 What's up? 170 00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,566 That's right. 171 00:09:49,805 --> 00:09:52,897 Oh, cake, huh? Hope it's good. 172 00:09:55,176 --> 00:09:59,270 Oh, gee. Thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker. 173 00:09:59,412 --> 00:10:01,379 [Scoffs] 174 00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:08,010 Oh. Fuckin' right, doggy! That's good cake! 175 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,586 Holy shit! 176 00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:11,052 Hi. How are you? Congratulations. 177 00:10:11,189 --> 00:10:11,449 Hey. 178 00:10:13,191 --> 00:10:15,419 [Giggles] 179 00:10:15,526 --> 00:10:18,618 Congratulation, jism. [Laughs] 180 00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:20,751 Excuse me. Stifler. 181 00:10:20,897 --> 00:10:22,693 Hey, Jim. Stifler. 182 00:10:22,799 --> 00:10:25,027 - What are you doing here? - Happy fuck day, ass mouth. 183 00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:27,293 Put the cake down. Check it out. I made it myself. 184 00:10:27,436 --> 00:10:30,961 - That's very cute. - What happened to my invite? Got lost in the mail, fuckface? 185 00:10:31,105 --> 00:10:33,401 I don't want to discuss this. Quiet! Oh, quiet yourself. 186 00:10:35,309 --> 00:10:37,537 I think I can spell... Seriously, man. Seriously... 187 00:10:37,644 --> 00:10:39,769 Jesus! Damn it, Stifler. 188 00:10:39,913 --> 00:10:42,106 Jim, look what you did. Look what I did? 189 00:10:42,215 --> 00:10:44,842 Look at this shit. What am I supposed to do now? 190 00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:47,714 Are you happy now, man? Why are you here? 191 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:50,754 My dick looks like a corn dog. I got cake all over my balls. 192 00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:53,415 [Jim's Mom] Jim, honey. Shit. 193 00:10:53,524 --> 00:10:56,424 The Flahertys are waiting. You think he's upstairs, honey? 194 00:10:56,527 --> 00:10:59,290 Oh, you're fucked now, Jim. [Cackles] 195 00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:01,757 [Growling, Barks] 196 00:11:02,665 --> 00:11:03,426 [Groans] 197 00:11:03,566 --> 00:11:06,398 [Thuds] Stifler, get up. 198 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:09,469 This dog's great! Is it weird that it feels good? 199 00:11:09,571 --> 00:11:10,867 [Laughs] 200 00:11:10,973 --> 00:11:12,872 All right. [Dog Growling] 201 00:11:12,975 --> 00:11:15,636 What about the dining room? I know you'll just love him. 202 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:18,677 - Jesus, Stifler. - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 203 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,176 - [Jim] Stop enjoying it so much. - Lick it off! 204 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,508 Whoo-hoo-hoo.! 205 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:26,173 Son of a... You little shit. 206 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:29,151 - You gotta take your pants off, man. - [Gasping] 207 00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:31,311 [Gasping, Screaming] 208 00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:34,753 - Jim. - No, it's not what it looks like. 209 00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,520 - What are you doing, son? Jim. - My dogs! 210 00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:40,890 - Don't go in there. Lord knows what they'll do to you. - I love this dog! 211 00:11:40,998 --> 00:11:43,898 - I-I-I was just trying to get him off, Dad. - That is your son? 212 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,899 Back away from the animal. 213 00:11:46,002 --> 00:11:48,561 Hey, great party. Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty, I presume. 214 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,160 [Stifler] Hey, where are you going? 215 00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:53,899 Well, uh, lunch is, uh, served. 216 00:11:54,009 --> 00:11:57,876 I-I really hope that, uh... that-that we can just... 217 00:11:57,978 --> 00:12:00,878 that we can all just forget about this and-and-and move on... 218 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:03,675 and start again... start again fresh. 219 00:12:03,783 --> 00:12:08,241 Jim, if you hope to be the provider and protector for our firstborn daughter, 220 00:12:08,387 --> 00:12:10,286 you have a long way to go. 221 00:12:10,388 --> 00:12:12,218 Thank you, sir. 222 00:12:12,323 --> 00:12:14,551 They think you're an angel... 223 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:18,091 and-and I'm... I'm just some ungrateful dog-rapist. 224 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,685 They just think they raised a proper, little band girl. 225 00:12:21,798 --> 00:12:27,029 And-And besides, sometimes it's... it's nice to be a little more traditional. 226 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:31,037 How so? How-How do you mean traditional? I'm thinking about the wedding. 227 00:12:32,407 --> 00:12:34,931 Well, it's just this one day. 228 00:12:35,043 --> 00:12:38,602 One day where-where everyone's eyes are on me for a change. 229 00:12:38,712 --> 00:12:41,202 I've just never walked into a room and... 230 00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:44,338 and had everyone go, "Ooh," and, "Ahh," 231 00:12:44,517 --> 00:12:46,984 and, "Isn't she elegant?" 232 00:12:47,119 --> 00:12:50,952 That is exactly how our wedding is going to be. 233 00:12:51,056 --> 00:12:52,920 I promise. 234 00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:59,027 Shit, I've got a frosted ass crack. Hey, Finch, 235 00:12:59,129 --> 00:13:02,120 you want this for here or to go? 236 00:13:02,231 --> 00:13:05,289 "A witty saying proves nothing." Voltaire. 237 00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:08,526 "Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy. 238 00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:10,137 [Skipped item nr. 238] 239 00:13:10,138 --> 00:13:12,536 Oh, boys. Anybody seen the bride's parents? 240 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,072 No? Hmm. 241 00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:16,266 Wait a second. 242 00:13:16,376 --> 00:13:18,138 Wait a second. Come on, Stifler. 243 00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:20,144 This isn't a graduation party. Time to go. 244 00:13:20,246 --> 00:13:23,771 Wait. Hold on. Jim's getting married, isn't he? 245 00:13:23,882 --> 00:13:26,178 Holy fuckin' shit! This is major! 246 00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:30,743 Do you have the slightest idea of how important this is? We get to have a bachelor party. 247 00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:33,879 Yes! We celebrate the death ofJim with a party in his honor. 248 00:13:34,058 --> 00:13:36,183 Chicks and boobs. Tits and ass. 249 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,623 Titties, ta-tas, casabas, bazoongas all up in our friggin' faces! 250 00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:42,161 Buck up, fellas. Show some enthusiasm. 251 00:13:42,265 --> 00:13:46,166 It's gonna be fuckin' great. Oh, my God! 252 00:13:46,268 --> 00:13:50,169 [Door Closes] Finch, he-he does make a good point. 253 00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:52,204 Yeah, he does. 254 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,672 You never heard me say that. 255 00:13:57,811 --> 00:14:00,608 I do not deserve a girl this cool. 256 00:14:00,713 --> 00:14:03,077 Michelle said the wedding was doable, right? 257 00:14:03,182 --> 00:14:05,273 A wedding. A wedding, yeah. 258 00:14:05,384 --> 00:14:08,977 You know, I promised her her wedding... you know, the wedding of her dreams. 259 00:14:09,121 --> 00:14:10,747 Okay. What's the problem? 260 00:14:10,889 --> 00:14:13,219 Dancing. Uh, she wants... she's gonna want to dance. 261 00:14:13,325 --> 00:14:16,293 You know, there's that whole tradition: the first dance at the reception. 262 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,985 She's gonna wanna dance Fred Astaire kind of shit. 263 00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:21,323 I can't do that. I can't... She learned all that from band camp. 264 00:14:23,099 --> 00:14:25,292 Okay, so you take lessons, you know, right away. 265 00:14:25,402 --> 00:14:29,803 Lessons. Okay. I have to convince her parents that I'm not a shithead. 266 00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:32,200 Challenging. Indeed, challenging. 267 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,397 But doable. What else? 268 00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,407 What else? I don't know what else. 269 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:38,840 That's the thing. She cares too much to tell me. 270 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:41,640 She doesn't want me to worry that she might be worried. 271 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:43,646 So I'm worried. 272 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,008 Recon. 273 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,145 You mean, like-like spying on, uh... like spying on Michelle? 274 00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,651 Spying is deceitful. 275 00:14:53,824 --> 00:14:57,383 Extra attention means you're concerned. 276 00:14:57,527 --> 00:15:01,928 This is... This is true. This is good. Guys, here's to the next step. 277 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,863 Would you please shut up with that stepping? Put your glass down. 278 00:15:04,967 --> 00:15:07,331 [Light Rock] 279 00:15:11,273 --> 00:15:13,263 And you 280 00:15:14,975 --> 00:15:17,237 Were right to bide your time 281 00:15:17,378 --> 00:15:21,870 And not buy into my misery 282 00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:25,482 Well, the good things are never free 283 00:15:25,651 --> 00:15:28,846 Do the colors of the rainbow 284 00:15:28,954 --> 00:15:32,388 Look the same to everyone 285 00:15:35,759 --> 00:15:39,249 We'll find a wonderful place somewhere. I promise. We'll keep looking. 286 00:15:43,599 --> 00:15:46,362 Is everything okay in here? The study can get a little chilly. 287 00:15:46,469 --> 00:15:48,594 Do you have enough blankets? We're fine. Thank you. 288 00:15:48,703 --> 00:15:51,466 I-I was kind of hoping that, uh... 289 00:15:51,605 --> 00:15:55,301 that someday soon we could have a little talk. 290 00:15:55,477 --> 00:15:59,207 I'd really like to tell you why I think I'll make a good husband. 291 00:15:59,313 --> 00:16:01,438 Whenever you get a chance. 292 00:16:01,581 --> 00:16:04,673 - Oh, why is that? Come on. - [Dog Grunts] 293 00:16:07,219 --> 00:16:10,949 See, I was saying that soon... we could talk. 294 00:16:11,089 --> 00:16:15,490 This... This right now is-is sort of the preliminary talk... 295 00:16:15,592 --> 00:16:19,026 before the future... longer talk, 296 00:16:19,129 --> 00:16:23,757 which would be like a... a quiet, uh, private dinner talk. 297 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,332 [Yipping] Let him finish. 298 00:16:26,435 --> 00:16:28,265 [Dog Panting] 299 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,302 [Yipping] I'm talking to you. 300 00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:33,305 - [Mrs. Flaherty] Shh. - Okay. 301 00:16:35,909 --> 00:16:37,899 Good talking to you. 302 00:16:41,714 --> 00:16:45,410 No. No, these aren't gonna work. 303 00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:48,650 Wow. 304 00:16:48,753 --> 00:16:53,154 You guys in a sporting goods store. Very good. 305 00:16:53,258 --> 00:16:56,419 Hey, Finch, I think they got your size. 306 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,459 Aw, beautiful. 307 00:16:58,562 --> 00:17:00,585 Jim needs to learn to dance for his wedding. 308 00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:03,220 You know, I think he's screwed. 309 00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:06,164 Of course he's screwed. He's getting married. 310 00:17:06,269 --> 00:17:08,168 I can't wait to see this disaster. 311 00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,965 What makes you think you're invited? 312 00:17:13,674 --> 00:17:15,641 [Slurping] 313 00:17:17,344 --> 00:17:20,778 I already called upJim's mom, got the info. 314 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,779 I'm preparing for the festivities. 315 00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:27,009 It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 316 00:17:27,152 --> 00:17:30,052 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out. 317 00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:34,788 And I'm gonna rock out with my cock out! 318 00:17:34,891 --> 00:17:38,347 Ooh, yep, that's what I'm talking about. [Laughs] 319 00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:40,689 [Jim] All right, Stifler. Um, 320 00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:43,194 this-this is a little, uh, difficult to explain. 321 00:17:44,266 --> 00:17:46,165 Look, you're... you're okay. 322 00:17:46,268 --> 00:17:49,031 You're okay. I-I-I mean, uh... I mean, I like you. 323 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:52,070 Yeah, great. You can blow me after practice. 324 00:17:52,173 --> 00:17:54,230 I'm working, dude. Well, dude... 325 00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:58,071 - [Yelling] - Come on. Work it! Hustle! 326 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,441 See, my mom didn't know that there was a misunderstanding. Push it! Move it! 327 00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,106 - You're not invited! - Hold! 328 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,345 Dude, how the hell do you even think you're getting married? 329 00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:13,887 I've been looking out for your sex life since high school. You what? 330 00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:16,754 Ohhhh! Ohh! 331 00:18:16,893 --> 00:18:18,826 [Laughs] 332 00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:21,156 The first tits this guy ever saw... 333 00:18:21,297 --> 00:18:23,025 were because of me. 334 00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:25,655 The first girl he ever hooked up with... 335 00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:28,234 was at my party at my cottage. 336 00:18:28,337 --> 00:18:30,827 That girl is the girl he's marrying. 337 00:18:30,938 --> 00:18:33,531 The Stif-man showed him the way. 338 00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:37,006 - Can I get a "Hallelujah"? - Hallelujah, Stifler! 339 00:18:37,143 --> 00:18:39,234 But, my fuckers, 340 00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:42,346 this mofo right here does not want the Stif-meister, 341 00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:44,982 the grand, fucking facilitator to attend the wedding. 342 00:18:45,117 --> 00:18:48,448 Who sucks donkey dick? Jim sucks donkey dick! 343 00:18:48,554 --> 00:18:51,715 Jim sucks donkey dick! The answer's no. Okay? I'm sorry. 344 00:18:51,822 --> 00:18:53,721 The answer's no. I can dance. 345 00:18:53,824 --> 00:18:56,758 What? I can dance. 346 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,726 Jim sucks donkey dick! Jim sucks donkey dick! 347 00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:02,422 [Stifler] Five, six, seven, eight. 348 00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:08,166 Okay. Now-Now what exactly is this here? 349 00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:11,328 Left box turn. Left box turn. 350 00:19:11,473 --> 00:19:14,441 Hi. Stop looking into my eyes. Sorry. Sorry. 351 00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,531 How do you... How do you know how to do this? 352 00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:19,042 My mom made me take it for three fucking years. Yeah? 353 00:19:19,145 --> 00:19:21,669 Yeah, I hated it. No, you're really good. 354 00:19:21,781 --> 00:19:24,248 Uh, you should take ballet or something. 355 00:19:24,349 --> 00:19:28,182 Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fuckin'-stand? 356 00:19:28,287 --> 00:19:31,777 This is exactly what I'm talking about, Steven. You can't behave like this. 357 00:19:31,889 --> 00:19:35,220 I-I-lf you want to come to the wedding, I'm sorry, you cannot act like this. 358 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,258 Are you saying I'm impolite or something? 359 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,758 Impolite would be an improvement. Look, 360 00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:43,194 just... just try not to be, uh, you know, uh, 361 00:19:43,299 --> 00:19:45,289 you. 362 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:47,000 [Skipped item nr. 362] 363 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:48,900 [Exhales Deeply] Fuck this shit. It's not worth it. 364 00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:51,094 Hey, wait, Stifler. Stifler, hold on. 365 00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:54,398 Wait. Okay. Wh-What if, uh... What if you, uh, plan the bachelor party? 366 00:19:54,575 --> 00:19:57,906 With a dildo show? Sure. 367 00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,910 Look. Just... If you can find the time, uh, to fit it in, 368 00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:02,809 go ahead, surprise me. 369 00:20:02,916 --> 00:20:05,006 Sorry, chief. That only gets you halfway there. 370 00:20:05,115 --> 00:20:06,478 Why? Why ha... What do you mean? 371 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,638 I need assurances that I'm gonna get some quality action at this wedding. 372 00:20:09,783 --> 00:20:11,680 I'm sor... I can't... I can't make that promise. 373 00:20:11,783 --> 00:20:14,271 Well, let me put it to you this way, Jimbo. 374 00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:18,439 No pussy, no dancing. Okay? 375 00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:23,880 No pussy, no dancing. How's that for polite? [Raspberries] 376 00:20:23,984 --> 00:20:25,972 [Cackles] 377 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,208 Jim, your suspicions are confirmed. 378 00:20:31,385 --> 00:20:33,782 Michelle wants a dress that she can't get. 379 00:20:33,886 --> 00:20:37,908 The dress she wants is Amsale. They have a store in Chicago. 380 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,177 Now, if we leave right now, 381 00:20:40,286 --> 00:20:42,046 we can get there by the time they close... a three-hour drive. 382 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,648 A three-hour drive? Kick fuckin'ass. 383 00:20:45,788 --> 00:20:48,185 Are we going to Chicago to see titties? 384 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:51,617 We are talking about getting Michelle a dress in Chicago. 385 00:20:51,722 --> 00:20:53,744 Now, please, vanish. 386 00:20:53,888 --> 00:20:56,149 Hey, Finch, what's the capital ofThailand? 387 00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,185 Bangkok! [Yelps] 388 00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:01,847 Dude... Hey, I got shotgun. 389 00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:03,921 [Groaning] 390 00:21:08,290 --> 00:21:10,278 [Stifler] Let's get this dress shit over with. 391 00:21:10,390 --> 00:21:12,981 The strip bar has got free hot wings before 7:00. 392 00:21:14,325 --> 00:21:16,552 Now, Jim, let me handle this. 393 00:21:16,691 --> 00:21:18,849 These are my people. They're gay? 394 00:21:18,991 --> 00:21:22,547 No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style. They're cultured. 395 00:21:22,692 --> 00:21:25,852 - They're sophisticated. - So they're gay. 396 00:21:25,992 --> 00:21:28,890 So, mademoiselle, I'm sure that you can appreciate... 397 00:21:28,992 --> 00:21:32,650 that monsieur here is stuck right between Scylla and Charybdis. 398 00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:35,691 [Chuckles] Yes, I'm afraid he's no Ulysses. 399 00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:39,451 - Okay, what's happening here? - You need to speak to my dressmaker. 400 00:21:39,593 --> 00:21:43,888 That's who would actually make the dress. And I'm afraid Leslie has gone for the day. 401 00:21:43,995 --> 00:21:44,093 Everybody here in the small town 402 00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:48,026 Everybody here in the small town 403 00:21:48,128 --> 00:21:51,582 Looks used and abused today 404 00:21:53,996 --> 00:21:57,325 All right. She-She said she'd probably be at one of these bars here on Halstead. 405 00:21:57,430 --> 00:22:00,021 I say we split up and ask around for a Leslie Summers. 406 00:22:00,129 --> 00:22:02,026 Right. 407 00:22:04,997 --> 00:22:08,394 [Dance] Read my lips 408 00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:15,494 Read my lips 409 00:22:17,799 --> 00:22:19,696 Hey there, sweet little thing. 410 00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:22,697 Hey there, you sweet manly thing. [Chuckles] 411 00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:25,287 You know, I really love your shirt. Do I know you? 412 00:22:25,399 --> 00:22:28,229 I'm Jennifer. Well, Jennifer, 413 00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:30,958 just relax, take it slow... 414 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,998 and let the good times roll. 415 00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:35,895 'Cause Daddy's a regular here. Do you want to get a drink? 416 00:22:36,001 --> 00:22:38,296 You're goddamn right I do. Whoo-hoo! 417 00:22:39,501 --> 00:22:42,433 Whoo. Two cold ones. 418 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:46,057 Hey, you know, my friend would really dig your vibe. Will you wait here? 419 00:22:46,202 --> 00:22:48,429 Sure thing, babe. Good. 420 00:22:48,536 --> 00:22:50,433 All right. 421 00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:52,499 How you feeling, sexy? Pretty good. 422 00:22:52,602 --> 00:22:54,760 Whoa. You have a deep voice. 423 00:22:54,903 --> 00:22:57,334 That's not all. [Laughs] 424 00:22:57,438 --> 00:22:59,266 Oh, right. 425 00:22:59,403 --> 00:23:01,994 You look really cute tonight. Thanks. 426 00:23:02,104 --> 00:23:05,002 I guess. What the... 427 00:23:05,104 --> 00:23:07,262 [Smack] 428 00:23:07,405 --> 00:23:09,666 Oh, hey. Gettin' a little frisky. [Smack] 429 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:12,327 [Smack] Oh. Game over. 430 00:23:12,439 --> 00:23:14,768 What's happening here? 431 00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,237 Hey. Any luck? 432 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,170 - Not so much. - All right. Let's, uh... 433 00:23:22,306 --> 00:23:24,271 Free 434 00:23:25,406 --> 00:23:27,837 This is Bear. 435 00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:30,405 Hey. Wow. You are a bear. 436 00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:32,507 - [Roars] - [Roars] 437 00:23:32,641 --> 00:23:35,539 - Yeah. - [Barks] 438 00:23:35,642 --> 00:23:37,607 How much you bench? 439 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,230 - How much you weigh? - Why? 440 00:23:40,343 --> 00:23:42,433 You wanna try and pick me up? 441 00:23:42,543 --> 00:23:44,701 [Chuckles] Yeah, I think I could. 442 00:23:44,809 --> 00:23:47,138 Yeah, I bet you could. You are big. 443 00:23:47,242 --> 00:23:49,469 I could use a guy like you on my team. 444 00:23:49,610 --> 00:23:54,406 Are you... Are you talking about our team or an actual team? 445 00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,907 What the hell is "our team"? 446 00:23:57,011 --> 00:23:58,873 Hi. Where's the girl? [Gasps] 447 00:23:58,944 --> 00:24:00,841 What the fuck are we talking about? 448 00:24:00,944 --> 00:24:03,671 You need to take another look around. 449 00:24:03,811 --> 00:24:06,368 [Continues] 450 00:24:08,846 --> 00:24:12,743 - [Man] Hey, honey.! - Oh, my God. What the fuck is going on? 451 00:24:12,846 --> 00:24:15,403 [All Laughing] 452 00:24:15,513 --> 00:24:18,343 - Come on. Is that all you got? - [Gasps] 453 00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:21,413 Pussy! 454 00:24:21,513 --> 00:24:24,001 I, uh... I must have came to the wrong place. Stifler. 455 00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:26,238 Stifler. Oh, man. 456 00:24:26,349 --> 00:24:28,405 Hey. Oh, it's so good to see you. 457 00:24:28,514 --> 00:24:30,911 I... How did you get up the nerve to check out a gay bar? 458 00:24:31,048 --> 00:24:33,878 Yeah. Really don't wanna talk about it right now. I just wanna go home. 459 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,037 - Your friend here was just leaving. - Eat shit. 460 00:24:36,216 --> 00:24:38,807 Did you find Leslie? Fuck your stupid dressmaker, man. 461 00:24:38,916 --> 00:24:42,370 - You guys know Leslie Summers? - Uh, we're trying to find her. 462 00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:47,173 You know what? I think you guys are out of luck. Why don't you go home? 463 00:24:47,317 --> 00:24:49,612 No. Y-You know Leslie... He knows Leslie S... Okay, look. 464 00:24:49,718 --> 00:24:52,479 My friends and I just drove all the way from Michigan... 465 00:24:52,618 --> 00:24:55,277 to find my fiancee the wedding dress that she deserves. 466 00:24:55,418 --> 00:24:58,906 Now, we need Leslie to make it for us. Can-Can you please help us find her? 467 00:24:59,052 --> 00:25:02,506 I'm sure Leslie always helps associates of assholes. 468 00:25:04,219 --> 00:25:06,912 What are you looking at? I'm not a steak. 469 00:25:07,052 --> 00:25:10,847 Listen, breeder, not every gay man wants to have sex with you. 470 00:25:10,953 --> 00:25:13,783 Oh, yeah? Listen up, ass jockey. 471 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,317 If I were gay, you'd want me. Really. 472 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:18,715 Really. I got style. 473 00:25:18,822 --> 00:25:21,583 I'm cultured. I'm sophisticated. 474 00:25:21,722 --> 00:25:25,915 And all that just radiates from your oh, so sexy self. 475 00:25:26,022 --> 00:25:27,919 That's bullshit. 476 00:25:28,022 --> 00:25:30,010 Everyone wants a piece of the Stif-meister. 477 00:25:30,122 --> 00:25:33,451 [Crowd Laughing] 478 00:25:33,556 --> 00:25:36,317 Right! Yeah! 479 00:25:37,423 --> 00:25:39,581 Without a doubt! [Laughing] 480 00:25:39,724 --> 00:25:41,655 - I'll show you fuckers. - Bye. 481 00:25:41,757 --> 00:25:43,585 Everybody say, "Bye. '"Bye. 482 00:25:43,724 --> 00:25:46,189 Bye. 483 00:25:46,324 --> 00:25:49,449 Bye. Good luck with the dress. 484 00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,356 Give us a drink. 485 00:25:59,325 --> 00:26:01,483 [Ominous Synthesized] 486 00:26:05,527 --> 00:26:07,549 [Crowd Murmuring] 487 00:26:08,828 --> 00:26:11,385 [Up-tempo Pop] 488 00:26:21,329 --> 00:26:24,454 - Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night - [Mouth Words] 489 00:26:24,563 --> 00:26:27,324 Mother of God. 490 00:26:27,429 --> 00:26:30,190 In the real-time world no one sees her at all 491 00:26:30,330 --> 00:26:32,795 They all say she's crazy 492 00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:35,953 She's a maniac, maniac 493 00:26:36,063 --> 00:26:39,154 On the floor 494 00:26:39,263 --> 00:26:43,854 And she's dancing like she's never danced before 495 00:26:44,032 --> 00:26:46,259 Bitch! 496 00:26:46,431 --> 00:26:50,055 Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth 497 00:26:50,232 --> 00:26:53,629 Ooh, heaven is a place on earth 498 00:26:53,733 --> 00:26:57,255 They say in heaven love comes first [Woman] Whoo-hoo.! 499 00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:59,832 What is this, a dance-off? 500 00:26:59,934 --> 00:27:02,331 Aplace on earth 501 00:27:02,433 --> 00:27:03,989 Oh, yeah? 502 00:27:08,235 --> 00:27:11,326 [Cheering] 503 00:27:11,435 --> 00:27:14,991 Sweet dreams are made of this 504 00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:19,066 Who am I to disagree 505 00:27:19,236 --> 00:27:23,463 I travel the world and the seven seas 506 00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:26,434 Everybody's looking for something 507 00:27:28,038 --> 00:27:30,435 [Cheering] 508 00:27:34,739 --> 00:27:36,295 She's got it 509 00:27:36,438 --> 00:27:39,529 Yeah, baby, she's got it 510 00:27:41,538 --> 00:27:43,969 [Man] Go, big boy.! I'm your Venus 511 00:27:44,072 --> 00:27:47,935 I'm your fire at your desire 512 00:27:48,039 --> 00:27:49,470 FI-FI-FI-FI-Flex 513 00:27:49,573 --> 00:27:52,061 You've gone too far this time 514 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,001 But I'm dancing 515 00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:57,571 On the valentine 516 00:27:57,741 --> 00:28:00,138 I tell you somebody's fooling around 517 00:28:00,274 --> 00:28:04,831 With my chances on the danger line 518 00:28:04,941 --> 00:28:07,873 I'll cross that bridge when I find it 519 00:28:07,975 --> 00:28:10,941 Another day to make my stand 520 00:28:11,042 --> 00:28:12,939 Ohhh-oh 521 00:28:13,043 --> 00:28:15,770 High time is no time for deciding 522 00:28:15,876 --> 00:28:18,865 If I should find a helping hand 523 00:28:18,976 --> 00:28:20,736 Ohhh-oh 524 00:28:20,844 --> 00:28:24,038 Why don't you use it 525 00:28:24,177 --> 00:28:27,835 Try not to bruise it 526 00:28:29,045 --> 00:28:30,942 [Cheering] 527 00:28:34,444 --> 00:28:36,341 I love you! 528 00:28:36,445 --> 00:28:38,342 What? 529 00:28:38,445 --> 00:28:41,002 Fabulous. Seeing that was worth anything. 530 00:28:41,146 --> 00:28:44,044 Look, I'm Leslie Summers, and you've got yourself a dress. 531 00:28:45,847 --> 00:28:47,869 Thank you. Oh, my God. Thank you. 532 00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:50,445 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 533 00:28:50,547 --> 00:28:54,205 Yeah, no problem. Hey, who's your friend? Uh, K-Kevin. 534 00:28:59,448 --> 00:29:01,504 Was that the best night ever or what? Stifler, 535 00:29:01,648 --> 00:29:03,772 are you... are you kidding me? It was amazing. 536 00:29:03,949 --> 00:29:06,881 Hey, guys! Hey, hey. 537 00:29:06,983 --> 00:29:11,005 Hey, when you get your bachelor party together, I manage some girls in town. 538 00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:14,115 Real ones. All right. 539 00:29:15,350 --> 00:29:18,282 Call me. Damn, Stiffy, you got some moves. 540 00:29:20,151 --> 00:29:22,207 [Chuckles] 541 00:29:25,551 --> 00:29:29,539 Told you that guy wanted to fuck me. [Laughs] 542 00:29:29,652 --> 00:29:32,812 I can't believe this. They're really gonna make the dress for me? 543 00:29:32,953 --> 00:29:36,850 They are expecting your call. Go ahead. This is so cool. Oh. 544 00:29:36,953 --> 00:29:38,975 I love you. 545 00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:41,084 Thank you. 546 00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:47,552 Well, that worked out. 547 00:29:47,654 --> 00:29:51,051 Well, maybe it's time we have that special dinner chat. 548 00:29:51,155 --> 00:29:53,143 I'll have turkey. 549 00:29:57,589 --> 00:29:59,486 Thanks for helping out. 550 00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:02,283 We're so close, and there's still so much to do. 551 00:30:04,957 --> 00:30:06,445 Cadence! 552 00:30:17,758 --> 00:30:21,155 Hey. Hi. 553 00:30:21,258 --> 00:30:24,984 Cadence, this is Paul Finch. Finch, meet my younger sister, Cadence. 554 00:30:25,092 --> 00:30:27,751 Nice to meet you. You're reading Descartes. 555 00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:29,756 Yep. 556 00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:33,019 Cogito ergo sum. "I think, therefore I am." 557 00:30:33,159 --> 00:30:36,284 Hungry. [Chuckles] 558 00:30:36,394 --> 00:30:39,360 Hungry. 559 00:30:39,460 --> 00:30:41,584 So, when's Mark getting in? 560 00:30:41,762 --> 00:30:45,159 Uh, let's see, that would be never. 561 00:30:45,294 --> 00:30:48,089 Did you guys break up? How tragic. 562 00:30:48,195 --> 00:30:50,387 Uh, sorry, Paul Finch. Girl stuff. 563 00:30:51,462 --> 00:30:53,586 [Plane Engine Roaring] 564 00:30:57,263 --> 00:31:01,661 Just stay calm. I'm available, she's available. It's all good. 565 00:31:02,863 --> 00:31:05,852 She's a beautiful girl, and you're you. 566 00:31:07,364 --> 00:31:09,761 [Exhales Deeply] [Cadence] I dumped him. 567 00:31:09,864 --> 00:31:13,761 [Michelle] But it was Mark. I thought you really liked him. He was nice. 568 00:31:13,865 --> 00:31:18,661 [Cadence] Yeah, but sometimes nice isn't so nice. 569 00:31:18,766 --> 00:31:20,788 W-Wait. Hold on. Let me get this straight. 570 00:31:20,899 --> 00:31:24,262 He didn't want to do it. He said he didn't want to ruin what we had... 571 00:31:24,366 --> 00:31:26,263 by deflowering ourselves. 572 00:31:26,366 --> 00:31:28,263 Who the hell uses the word deflower? 573 00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:33,697 [Michelle Groans] That's like something Mom would say. Yeah. 574 00:31:33,801 --> 00:31:36,995 And I'm starting to realize that Mom and Dad's idea of appropriate behavior... 575 00:31:37,101 --> 00:31:39,066 might be a little bit different than mine. 576 00:31:40,368 --> 00:31:42,265 Mich, you're in love. Shh. 577 00:31:42,368 --> 00:31:44,492 You're getting married. I mean, what's this like? 578 00:31:44,668 --> 00:31:48,156 It's like it's... I'm never gonna be able to explain it. 579 00:31:48,302 --> 00:31:52,791 I wanted us to write our own vows for the wedding, and now I can't do mine. 580 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:55,231 I... How do you explain love? 581 00:31:55,369 --> 00:31:58,267 Uh, I-I guess I wouldn't know. 582 00:31:58,371 --> 00:32:01,428 I don't think I've ever felt that way about a guy. 583 00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:04,537 Oh, someday you will. Maybe. 584 00:32:04,671 --> 00:32:08,295 But in the meantime, I don't think it would hurt to get a little rowdy this weekend. 585 00:32:08,406 --> 00:32:10,598 Jim's got single friends, right? Yes. 586 00:32:10,706 --> 00:32:14,160 - Think Finch is a possibility? - Oh, Finch is boneable. 587 00:32:14,273 --> 00:32:17,000 Yes, he is boneable. [Chuckles] 588 00:32:17,173 --> 00:32:18,604 [Thud] [Water Sloshing] 589 00:32:20,473 --> 00:32:24,495 Dickhead. You do not send shit to my office at school. 590 00:32:24,674 --> 00:32:27,196 Hey, Stifler. Why don't you come in and make yourself comfortable? 591 00:32:27,307 --> 00:32:30,330 Your letter made a great impression on Coach Marshall when he read it. 592 00:32:30,474 --> 00:32:32,701 Let me just refresh your memory, partner. "Dear Steve, 593 00:32:32,808 --> 00:32:36,671 I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar." 594 00:32:36,776 --> 00:32:38,673 I put serious thought into that letter. 595 00:32:38,775 --> 00:32:42,604 [Stilted] "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge. 596 00:32:42,709 --> 00:32:46,163 I'm trying not to lose my head." Uh-huh. 597 00:32:46,276 --> 00:32:48,207 Uh-huh. [Laughs] 598 00:32:49,877 --> 00:32:52,809 [Cadence] These are really nice. I mean, for a bridesmaid dress. 599 00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:55,375 - At least something you can actually wear again. - Wear again. 600 00:32:55,477 --> 00:32:58,671 [Cadence] But you don't think it's too sexy, do you? 601 00:32:58,778 --> 00:33:02,504 I mean, I don't want to seem slutty or anything. I'm trying to attract a decent guy here. 602 00:33:02,612 --> 00:33:06,407 [Michelle Scoffs] It's a wedding. They'll all be decent guys. 603 00:33:06,513 --> 00:33:09,479 I just don't feel quite like a virgin in it. 604 00:33:09,579 --> 00:33:11,476 Oh! 605 00:33:14,180 --> 00:33:17,340 So, you guys have to be psyched to be done with college. 606 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,809 I mean, I swear, I'm running out of room in my brain for everything. 607 00:33:20,914 --> 00:33:23,471 There's always room for Plato and Aristotle. 608 00:33:23,615 --> 00:33:26,604 Some of my favorites. [Chuckles] 609 00:33:27,781 --> 00:33:29,769 Excuse me, guys. 610 00:33:29,915 --> 00:33:32,881 Finch, she thinks you were being sarcastic. 611 00:33:32,982 --> 00:33:36,674 [Stifler] Okay. It's so good to see you. 612 00:33:36,783 --> 00:33:39,681 You want some help? Here. Let me... Let me help you out there. 613 00:33:39,784 --> 00:33:43,306 There you go. Okay. You keep fighting the good fight, sir. 614 00:33:45,517 --> 00:33:47,414 It's great. 615 00:33:47,517 --> 00:33:49,482 That was really sweet of you. 616 00:33:49,584 --> 00:33:52,641 Yeah. I love old people. 617 00:33:54,484 --> 00:33:57,416 Hey, I hate to be nosy and impolite, but, um, 618 00:33:57,584 --> 00:34:00,345 do you know Jim Levenstein and Michelle Flaherty? Yeah. 619 00:34:00,486 --> 00:34:02,917 Are they here? Well, I'm Cadence, Michelle's sister. 620 00:34:03,019 --> 00:34:06,042 I had no idea. I'm their good friend Steven. 621 00:34:06,186 --> 00:34:08,617 Well, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, you too. 622 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:11,481 Well, they're around town doing some wedding stuff. That's cool. 623 00:34:11,586 --> 00:34:14,814 But there's still a few of us in the other room if you want to join us. 624 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,614 I don't know. I mean, you look so nice, I feel underdressed. 625 00:34:20,921 --> 00:34:23,910 Well, I think you look great. Thank you. 626 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:27,509 Oh, here they are. Hi, boys. Don't stand up. 627 00:34:28,789 --> 00:34:31,516 - The dads aren't here yet? - I'll go find him. 628 00:34:31,689 --> 00:34:34,154 Now, which one of you is the best man? 629 00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:38,243 Jim didn't pick just one. Or I mean, he-he couldn't decide. 630 00:34:38,390 --> 00:34:42,014 - Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin. - Mom, I want you to meet Steven. 631 00:34:42,124 --> 00:34:46,579 He's friends ofJim's and mine and, oh, everyone's. 632 00:34:46,691 --> 00:34:48,849 [Chuckles] You look very familiar, Steven. 633 00:34:48,992 --> 00:34:51,321 Really? Oh, I'm afraid we've never met. Oh. 634 00:34:51,425 --> 00:34:53,549 Oh. Well, we have now. 635 00:34:53,691 --> 00:34:56,953 Oh, looks like you found Samantha's Sweets. 636 00:34:57,092 --> 00:34:59,990 Oh, yes. Isn't their chocolate just to die for? 637 00:35:00,093 --> 00:35:02,615 - Oh, well, you have no idea. - Actually, I do. 638 00:35:02,727 --> 00:35:05,124 I love chocolate more than life itself. More than life itself. 639 00:35:05,294 --> 00:35:07,623 Yes.! I was just saying to your friends that... 640 00:35:07,727 --> 00:35:10,750 I have something very precious here. 641 00:35:10,894 --> 00:35:13,018 What is it? 642 00:35:13,128 --> 00:35:16,684 Michelle's grandmother's... my mother's... wedding ring. 643 00:35:16,795 --> 00:35:18,987 Isn't that precious? 644 00:35:19,096 --> 00:35:21,789 But since all of you are the best man, 645 00:35:21,896 --> 00:35:23,793 I don't know who should ho-hold onto it. 646 00:35:23,896 --> 00:35:25,952 - I think it's best if I... - Oh, um... 647 00:35:26,996 --> 00:35:30,484 I think you should get to know us first and then decide. 648 00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:34,494 You are such a gentleman, Steve. 649 00:35:34,597 --> 00:35:37,757 I hear that all the time, but it never gets old. Aw. 650 00:35:37,898 --> 00:35:40,056 Hey, Paul, uh, do you have a camera? 651 00:35:40,198 --> 00:35:43,028 How thoughtful. [Mouthing Words] 652 00:35:43,131 --> 00:35:46,359 I must have forgotten my camera at home, Steven. 653 00:35:46,498 --> 00:35:48,827 Oh, m-maybe you could take, like, a mental note. 654 00:35:48,933 --> 00:35:52,161 - [Chuckles] - I won't forget this moment. 655 00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:54,561 I bet you won't. Would you care to join us? 656 00:35:54,699 --> 00:35:56,687 I would love to. Thank you. Well, come on. 657 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,789 Lovely to see you fellas. Thank you. [Mouthing Words] 658 00:36:04,934 --> 00:36:07,058 [Stifler] Oh, amazing. 659 00:36:07,201 --> 00:36:09,325 What the hell is he doing near my flowers? 660 00:36:09,435 --> 00:36:11,957 I love the way the tulips accentuate the, um... 661 00:36:12,102 --> 00:36:14,932 - What do you call those again, sir? - Double Lisianthus. 662 00:36:15,036 --> 00:36:18,002 Lisianthus. Double "Lisianthums." 663 00:36:18,103 --> 00:36:20,295 What a pretty name. 664 00:36:23,203 --> 00:36:26,431 I told him to be nice, or-or he couldn't come to the wedding. 665 00:36:26,537 --> 00:36:29,866 I will take care of this. I will take care of this. [Stifler] Hey. Hey, James. 666 00:36:30,004 --> 00:36:32,265 Oh, great. Come on over. Oh, great. Come on over. 667 00:36:32,404 --> 00:36:34,631 See if I forgot anything. I don't think... Oh. Oh, oh. 668 00:36:34,738 --> 00:36:37,135 We're having a great time. I think I've got it all. 669 00:36:37,238 --> 00:36:39,203 Oh, look, look, look, look. 670 00:36:39,305 --> 00:36:41,702 - [Mouthing Words] - Sahara and Desert Rose... 671 00:36:41,806 --> 00:36:43,998 for your bridesmaids' bouquet. 672 00:36:44,139 --> 00:36:46,832 Oh, give me that. Smell this. 673 00:36:47,006 --> 00:36:48,903 It's fantastic. Fantastic. 674 00:36:49,006 --> 00:36:51,631 And, oh... Oh. Oh! 675 00:36:51,741 --> 00:36:53,638 Oh, oh, oh! [Mouthing Words] 676 00:36:53,740 --> 00:36:57,603 [Laughs, Squeals] Look at this. 677 00:36:57,707 --> 00:37:01,502 Oh, boy. Let's go look at the candelabrum, honey. 678 00:37:01,608 --> 00:37:03,766 I think with the Summer Blossoms. Mm-hmm. 679 00:37:03,909 --> 00:37:05,806 Cutie. Thank you for everything. 680 00:37:05,908 --> 00:37:08,499 What do you think, girls? Isn't this adorable? Bye, Cadence. 681 00:37:08,608 --> 00:37:11,768 Okay, I know... I know what you're doing. Look. Have you seen yourself? 682 00:37:11,909 --> 00:37:15,000 I can't believe you're doing this. Just calm down, dude. 683 00:37:15,110 --> 00:37:17,007 It's all set. What's set? 684 00:37:17,143 --> 00:37:20,597 I'm gonna teach you to dance like a "Baryshiniankov." 685 00:37:20,710 --> 00:37:23,107 Oh, yeah. He is pretty good. 686 00:37:23,211 --> 00:37:26,608 Jim, he's not doing it to be nice. He's doing it to bone Cadence. 687 00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,905 Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think... I think... 688 00:37:30,012 --> 00:37:33,466 that underneath all the fucks and shits and blow mes, 689 00:37:33,612 --> 00:37:37,668 there's a very sensitive person who is just thirsty for acceptance. 690 00:37:37,813 --> 00:37:39,778 That's-That's what I think. 691 00:37:39,913 --> 00:37:44,470 Oh, Jim, you've gotta stop masturbating. It's melting your brain. 692 00:37:44,613 --> 00:37:47,306 Observe the fuckin' Stif-meister. 693 00:37:47,414 --> 00:37:49,311 What is his defining characteristic? 694 00:37:50,948 --> 00:37:52,913 He uses the F-word excessively. 695 00:37:53,014 --> 00:37:54,945 Thanks, man. 696 00:37:55,047 --> 00:37:58,104 But I also have confidence. You're one big floppy cock. 697 00:37:58,214 --> 00:38:00,338 Look at you. You've gotta stand like a man. 698 00:38:00,449 --> 00:38:02,846 Your posture tells your partner where to go. 699 00:38:02,949 --> 00:38:05,005 Okay. Okay. Okay? 700 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,104 Follow my lead. 701 00:38:08,216 --> 00:38:11,613 This is the waltz. Waltz. Okay. 702 00:38:11,716 --> 00:38:14,147 Waltz. Okay. 703 00:38:16,350 --> 00:38:19,077 That's pretty good. You're fuckin' right it's good. 704 00:38:19,217 --> 00:38:21,648 I'm gonna save your ass in this wedding. 705 00:38:21,751 --> 00:38:24,216 Pretty soon you're gonna want me to shave your balls. 706 00:38:24,319 --> 00:38:27,479 Should I shave my balls? Do you shave your balls? How do you do it? 707 00:38:27,619 --> 00:38:29,641 Dude, no. 708 00:38:31,219 --> 00:38:33,514 I... I... I'm just... 709 00:38:33,619 --> 00:38:35,550 [Chuckles] Shaving. 710 00:38:35,653 --> 00:38:35,717 [Skipped item nr. 710] 711 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,617 You know, there's nothing like a local pub. 712 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,616 Mm-hmm. It's like real America... 713 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:44,276 without all that corporateness and catchy jingles. Well, what's wrong with a good jingle? 714 00:38:44,420 --> 00:38:47,011 I think it was Voltaire who said, 715 00:38:48,521 --> 00:38:52,316 "Ajingle witty proves everything for my friends and I." 716 00:38:54,122 --> 00:38:57,020 - [Chuckles] - Cadence. 717 00:38:57,123 --> 00:38:58,951 I didn't know you were gonna be here. 718 00:38:59,056 --> 00:39:01,283 You're just in time for Voltaire's greatest hits. 719 00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:04,616 Voltaire? Stifler, please, who was Voltaire? 720 00:39:04,722 --> 00:39:06,619 Someone much wiser than you, I'm afraid, Finch. 721 00:39:07,723 --> 00:39:11,120 Actually, I'm getting a little burned out on all the intellectual stuff. 722 00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:13,121 Yeah. Me too. 723 00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:17,156 Being smart is so hard. [Chuckles] 724 00:39:19,225 --> 00:39:21,452 I'll give you some intelligence. 725 00:39:22,759 --> 00:39:25,350 Voltaire can suck on my balls. 726 00:39:27,126 --> 00:39:28,682 What? 727 00:39:28,827 --> 00:39:31,292 It's about time somebody finally came out and said it. 728 00:39:31,426 --> 00:39:33,516 Hey, I'm gonna give you a quote to live by. 729 00:39:33,661 --> 00:39:35,558 "Love life, get paid and then get laid." 730 00:39:35,661 --> 00:39:39,115 That is the basic philosophy of the Finch-meister. 731 00:39:39,261 --> 00:39:40,521 I like that. [Mouthing Words] 732 00:39:40,627 --> 00:39:43,956 - Bet you do. - But I don't know why you do... 733 00:39:44,061 --> 00:39:47,289 because Finch-meister doesn't make any friggin' sense. 734 00:39:47,428 --> 00:39:50,360 - Sure, it does. - No fuckin' shit it does. 735 00:39:52,930 --> 00:39:56,327 Cadence, let's leave the "crayton" here, shall we? 736 00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:58,554 Whatever. Fuck it. I'm walkin' anyway. 737 00:39:58,663 --> 00:40:02,685 Wait. You know, actually, I think I'm gonna go stretch my legs with the Finch-meister. 738 00:40:02,831 --> 00:40:05,353 - You don't mind, do you, Steven? - No. 739 00:40:07,664 --> 00:40:09,561 Ha! 740 00:40:09,665 --> 00:40:12,028 [Huffing] 741 00:40:14,232 --> 00:40:17,130 It's on like Donkey Kong, bi-i-itch. 742 00:40:17,232 --> 00:40:19,129 Pack it up, bitch. 743 00:40:19,233 --> 00:40:21,130 I'm on it. Thank you. 744 00:40:21,233 --> 00:40:24,324 So, uh, Cadence say anything about me? 745 00:40:24,433 --> 00:40:27,558 [Scoffs] Whatever you and Finch are pulling, she seems to like you both. 746 00:40:27,667 --> 00:40:31,257 Finch. Is she gonna be around tomorrow night? 747 00:40:31,367 --> 00:40:34,492 No, she's going up to Chicago with Michelle for the final dress fitting. 748 00:40:34,634 --> 00:40:37,862 What about her parents? I think her mom kind of likes me. 749 00:40:38,035 --> 00:40:41,001 They're going up north with, uh... with my parents... 750 00:40:41,135 --> 00:40:44,124 for, uh... you know, to get things, uh, ready for the rehearsal. 751 00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:46,564 So, uh... So that's where they'll be. 752 00:40:46,669 --> 00:40:49,066 So don't bother looking for them or anything, you know. 753 00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:51,362 A wedding. [Scoffs] 754 00:40:51,470 --> 00:40:55,128 Shit. How do you know she's the right girl? 755 00:40:55,237 --> 00:40:57,225 I just do. 756 00:40:57,337 --> 00:41:00,859 I'm a better person when I'm with Michelle. Nobody else can... No, no, no, shithead. 757 00:41:00,971 --> 00:41:04,561 You hooked up with one other girl for, what, 10 seconds. 758 00:41:04,672 --> 00:41:08,069 Not to mention you passed on Nadia. Dumbest fuckin' thing ever. 759 00:41:08,172 --> 00:41:10,694 You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno. 760 00:41:10,839 --> 00:41:12,770 This shit is crazy. 761 00:41:15,939 --> 00:41:18,564 [Jim's Dad] This is just the old pre-wedding jitters, son. 762 00:41:18,674 --> 00:41:21,265 [Jim] It's so forever, you know. It-It's, uh... 763 00:41:21,373 --> 00:41:23,770 You know, Michelle is the only, uh, 764 00:41:23,874 --> 00:41:25,771 girl that I've... I've been with. 765 00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:29,669 Honestly, now... Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia? 766 00:41:31,142 --> 00:41:34,074 Why? Did she say something? 767 00:41:34,175 --> 00:41:36,572 Hypothetically, Dad. Oh, hypothetically. 768 00:41:36,675 --> 00:41:39,197 Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man. 769 00:41:39,342 --> 00:41:41,603 I'm... If-lf-lf you weren't married. 770 00:41:41,742 --> 00:41:44,731 She's a college girl. If you were a college guy. 771 00:41:44,877 --> 00:41:47,434 In a heartbeat. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 772 00:41:47,577 --> 00:41:52,441 First of all, what-what you're feeling is so normal and perfectly natural. 773 00:41:52,543 --> 00:41:57,441 Marriage is not about, uh, animal lusting and-and kinky sex games. 774 00:41:57,544 --> 00:42:02,033 It's not so much about who's the dog and who's the fire hydrant tonight. 775 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:04,042 It's-It's deeper than that. 776 00:42:04,146 --> 00:42:07,044 The longer a marriage lasts, 777 00:42:07,146 --> 00:42:09,043 uh, the longer you can go, 778 00:42:09,146 --> 00:42:11,043 uh, without sex. 779 00:42:11,147 --> 00:42:14,579 But when that magic night does happen, uh, 780 00:42:14,681 --> 00:42:16,578 it's-it's all the more meaningful. 781 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,702 And let me tell you, your mother, bless her, 782 00:42:18,847 --> 00:42:20,903 can still make me, uh, squeal like a pig. 783 00:42:21,048 --> 00:42:24,502 Uh, and I mean that in the good sense, son. Do you follow what I'm saying? 784 00:42:24,648 --> 00:42:27,136 You understand where I'm going? I do. I, uh... I think I, uh... 785 00:42:27,281 --> 00:42:31,007 Anything else you need? No. No, that's, uh... 786 00:42:32,149 --> 00:42:34,046 Anything I can do. 787 00:42:38,649 --> 00:42:38,747 Don't make me listen to this stupid broken record again 788 00:42:38,749 --> 00:42:41,408 Don't make me listen to this stupid broken record again 789 00:42:41,550 --> 00:42:44,607 The needle's skipping and repeating never reaching the end 790 00:42:44,750 --> 00:42:47,875 You know, you're bitching and complaining like you got it so tough 791 00:42:47,984 --> 00:42:51,938 We're sick of all your crying Will you ever shut up 792 00:42:53,152 --> 00:42:56,742 He's not here. Park the cars down there where he won't see them. 793 00:43:03,453 --> 00:43:06,544 [Laughing] Hoo! Fuckin' right! 794 00:43:07,653 --> 00:43:10,915 So, you like my pants, Stiffy? Whatever, dude. As long as the girls are worth it. 795 00:43:11,054 --> 00:43:14,746 They're worth it. Oh, and if you've got some good wine too, that'll score some points for you. 796 00:43:14,854 --> 00:43:17,684 - We think there's some in the... in the basement. - I'll get it. 797 00:43:17,788 --> 00:43:19,685 You ain't gonna want to miss this. 798 00:43:19,788 --> 00:43:22,481 [Laughing] Gentlemen. 799 00:43:22,589 --> 00:43:23,918 Gentlemen, I would like to introduce... 800 00:43:25,188 --> 00:43:25,253 [Skipped item nr. 800] 801 00:43:25,255 --> 00:43:29,380 Officer Krystal und Fraulein Brandi. 802 00:43:30,857 --> 00:43:32,788 [Finch] Oh, my God. 803 00:43:32,890 --> 00:43:36,446 [Stifler] Oh.! Oh.! Oh.! Yeah.! 804 00:43:36,591 --> 00:43:40,647 - Oh, my God! - You boys have been very messy. 805 00:43:42,357 --> 00:43:45,050 Wanna make ya bounce Every single ounce 806 00:43:45,158 --> 00:43:47,282 Whoops. Can you see my fanny? 807 00:43:47,391 --> 00:43:49,515 Whoops. [Giggles] 808 00:43:49,658 --> 00:43:51,452 Ohh! [Finch Moans] 809 00:43:51,558 --> 00:43:52,955 [Moaning] 810 00:43:53,059 --> 00:43:54,456 [Stifler] Whoo.! 811 00:43:54,558 --> 00:43:56,318 - [Yelps] - Oh! 812 00:43:57,559 --> 00:44:00,548 - [Gasps] - You naughty girl. 813 00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:02,216 [Giggles] 814 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,554 None of that pleading the Fifth crap! 815 00:44:05,694 --> 00:44:08,159 - You boys are gonna talk. - Uh... Uh... 816 00:44:08,260 --> 00:44:09,748 [Stifler] Wow.! 817 00:44:09,895 --> 00:44:11,860 [Stifler Cackling] 818 00:44:11,961 --> 00:44:13,721 Oh, my God! 819 00:44:13,862 --> 00:44:16,623 [Grunts] Are you just gonna stand there and drool? 820 00:44:16,762 --> 00:44:19,728 - Or are we gonna have a bachelor party? - Fuck yeah, we are! 821 00:44:19,863 --> 00:44:22,590 Yeah? What? I can't hear you. 822 00:44:22,696 --> 00:44:26,752 Louder! Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes. Bachelor party. 823 00:44:26,864 --> 00:44:28,352 Can't hear you. Louder! Louder! 824 00:44:28,463 --> 00:44:31,917 - Stick a finger in my ass! - [Gasps] 825 00:44:34,197 --> 00:44:36,662 - That's weird. - You just wait. 826 00:44:36,798 --> 00:44:39,662 Look, maybe we should just wait for... Jim. 827 00:44:39,764 --> 00:44:43,093 - FuckJim, man! This is for us. - Take her top off. 828 00:44:43,198 --> 00:44:46,652 My girlfriend has strict rules about this. No touching. 829 00:44:46,765 --> 00:44:49,663 [Groaning] What are you, a dancing clown? 830 00:44:49,766 --> 00:44:53,322 You wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, you punk-ass little bitch. 831 00:44:53,467 --> 00:44:55,694 - This is awesome! - [Krystal] Oh, you like that? 832 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,493 You like it, huh? How much? Boob. 833 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,588 No! Hmph! 834 00:44:59,701 --> 00:45:04,099 I'm sorry. No, not yet. But you will be. 835 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,257 Like I said, this is awesome. 836 00:45:10,268 --> 00:45:14,723 I'm freakin'you, baby Drivin'you crazy 837 00:45:14,869 --> 00:45:19,597 Hey, listen, I-I-I-I think we both know that Officer Krystal and me have this... 838 00:45:20,703 --> 00:45:22,668 You know. Yeah. Thing? Mm-hmm. 839 00:45:22,770 --> 00:45:25,668 Baby Drivin'you crazy 840 00:45:25,770 --> 00:45:27,667 Put my style Put your style 841 00:45:27,770 --> 00:45:29,928 Honey child Honey child 842 00:45:30,071 --> 00:45:33,299 No one has ever slapped my ass like that. 843 00:45:33,404 --> 00:45:36,858 No one's ever pinched my nipple with such ferocity. 844 00:45:36,972 --> 00:45:40,097 Because I'll say the things that I know that you like 845 00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:42,568 Know you like I take your back 846 00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:46,694 I... I'm a master of the Tantric art. 847 00:45:46,873 --> 00:45:48,895 I-I look at her body... 848 00:45:49,074 --> 00:45:52,664 and I just see the chakras and the things I can do to her and... 849 00:45:52,774 --> 00:45:54,705 [Inhales] Ohh! 850 00:45:54,807 --> 00:45:56,772 And make you move Uh-huh 851 00:45:56,874 --> 00:46:00,566 Because I'm freakin'you, baby Drivin'you crazy 852 00:46:00,674 --> 00:46:03,299 I'm freakin'you baby Drivin'... 853 00:46:03,408 --> 00:46:07,806 You. You look cute. I... Oh, thank you. 854 00:46:07,909 --> 00:46:09,874 Thank you, but you... you're the cute one. 855 00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:12,806 Stiffy! How slimming is this, huh? 856 00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:15,636 What the fuck, Buffalo Bill? 857 00:46:15,776 --> 00:46:18,867 What, this... What, the pink too much? 858 00:46:19,011 --> 00:46:23,067 It puts the dress in the drawer and it does as it's told. 859 00:46:24,577 --> 00:46:27,008 Oh, dude. Now that's fucked up. 860 00:46:27,178 --> 00:46:29,166 That's fucked up. 861 00:46:29,278 --> 00:46:32,267 And in closing, you have been a naughty, naughty girl. 862 00:46:32,379 --> 00:46:35,311 [Cackles] You been naughty, Brandi? You been fuckin' naughty? 863 00:46:35,412 --> 00:46:38,900 [Stifler Giggles] Fresh. 864 00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:41,979 [Screams] Take her top off! 865 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:46,239 You didn't get to cleaning, little bitch fucker? Huh? Ow! 866 00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:47,675 [Screams] 867 00:46:47,780 --> 00:46:49,768 Wanna see us kiss? 868 00:46:52,380 --> 00:46:54,311 Fuck, no. No, no. 869 00:46:54,414 --> 00:46:56,379 None of that "you go, we go" bullshit. 870 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,639 [Stifler] Already done that. [Finch] Very good of you. 871 00:46:58,782 --> 00:47:00,770 I'm freakin'you, baby 872 00:47:00,883 --> 00:47:02,473 Take a spin, baby 873 00:47:02,582 --> 00:47:05,309 Drivin'you crazy 874 00:47:05,416 --> 00:47:07,745 [Whines] 875 00:47:07,884 --> 00:47:10,577 That you ever met was me 876 00:47:10,683 --> 00:47:13,581 I used to have this pet bass. Oh. 877 00:47:13,683 --> 00:47:16,171 His name was Arnie, and... Oh, he was so cute. 878 00:47:16,284 --> 00:47:18,181 And he just loved me too. [Chuckles] Yeah. 879 00:47:18,285 --> 00:47:20,443 He'd just look up at me... Maybe you could dance. 880 00:47:20,584 --> 00:47:22,845 and make this face like... 881 00:47:22,985 --> 00:47:26,780 Or something like that. I don't know. It was great. God, I miss him, but... 882 00:47:26,886 --> 00:47:29,477 Um, sometimes I watch the Discovery Channel, and... 883 00:47:29,619 --> 00:47:31,846 [Groans] I don't care! 884 00:47:31,986 --> 00:47:35,111 Could you just dance for me, please? 885 00:47:35,219 --> 00:47:37,707 No, that's my favorite... 886 00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:40,479 It was my favorite shirt. Uh, okay. 887 00:47:40,587 --> 00:47:44,109 Hey. What? 888 00:47:45,587 --> 00:47:47,518 Nothin'. 889 00:47:48,621 --> 00:47:50,609 It's a crazy party, huh? 890 00:47:50,722 --> 00:47:52,687 Baby 891 00:47:52,788 --> 00:47:56,514 'Cause I want you to be my lady 892 00:47:56,689 --> 00:47:58,984 I'm freakin'you, baby 893 00:48:00,689 --> 00:48:03,086 Don't worry about him. You don't worry about him. 894 00:48:03,190 --> 00:48:08,088 He's... He's a... He's a maniac. And you're a maniac, you know that? 895 00:48:08,190 --> 00:48:10,712 And I want you to be a lady 896 00:48:10,825 --> 00:48:14,381 [Muffled, Indistinct] [Laughs] 897 00:48:14,491 --> 00:48:17,651 Stifler, why in the world are you focused on me? 898 00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:19,552 I'm surprised to see you don't have tits. 899 00:48:19,691 --> 00:48:22,919 [Giggles] How can I clean you if you are not dirty? 900 00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:27,048 Go put something on that I must clean off with my tongue. 901 00:48:27,193 --> 00:48:30,590 Ohh. Anything for a French person. 902 00:48:30,693 --> 00:48:33,625 If you insist, Fraulein. 903 00:48:35,994 --> 00:48:38,653 I see you, baby Shaking that ass 904 00:48:39,895 --> 00:48:43,191 Shaking that ass Shaking that ass 905 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:47,192 - I see you, baby shaking that ass - Ah! 906 00:48:47,296 --> 00:48:48,852 Oh, yeah. 907 00:48:48,996 --> 00:48:51,257 Look at you, you pathetic, little weasel. 908 00:48:51,395 --> 00:48:53,020 Can't I just watch? 909 00:48:53,129 --> 00:48:57,288 Look, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. 910 00:48:57,397 --> 00:48:59,624 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 911 00:48:59,731 --> 00:49:02,094 Don't break character ever again. 912 00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:06,184 Okay? I don't care if Kevin starts crying because Finch bit his cock off. 913 00:49:06,331 --> 00:49:11,059 You're a dirty cop, you're a prissy maid and I am your filthy cabana boy in need of much punishment and cleaning. 914 00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:13,993 Don't you ever mouth off to Officer Krystal, 915 00:49:14,099 --> 00:49:15,826 - You dirty, little pervert! - Okay. 916 00:49:15,932 --> 00:49:18,420 Now, obey! I obey! I obey! 917 00:49:18,533 --> 00:49:19,828 Jesus! 918 00:49:19,933 --> 00:49:23,523 Break it on down Huh, what 919 00:49:23,634 --> 00:49:25,826 Whoo [Grunts] 920 00:49:25,934 --> 00:49:28,024 What Break it on down 921 00:49:37,401 --> 00:49:39,389 Guys, are we having dinner? 922 00:49:44,402 --> 00:49:46,299 Here, let me get that. 923 00:49:46,403 --> 00:49:49,392 I see you, baby shaking that ass 924 00:49:49,503 --> 00:49:51,661 Holy shit! Stifler. 925 00:49:51,803 --> 00:49:55,461 I've got something really nice cooking up for you. Well, we love surprises. 926 00:49:55,604 --> 00:49:59,535 Stifler, you said you spoke toJim. I did. I was secret about it and everything. 927 00:49:59,638 --> 00:50:02,967 He said he'd be the only one here tonight. What the fuck, shit-brick? 928 00:50:03,105 --> 00:50:05,229 Chocolate. Ah, sh... 929 00:50:05,338 --> 00:50:08,099 Now, I told everyone that you were up north with my parents. 930 00:50:08,205 --> 00:50:11,659 Okay. So we won't be bothered. We can just, uh, totally relax and no worries. 931 00:50:11,805 --> 00:50:14,032 [Mary Chuckles] Please come on in. 932 00:50:14,139 --> 00:50:16,366 Make yourselves at home. Right this way. Thank you. 933 00:50:16,507 --> 00:50:18,404 Sir. 934 00:50:19,908 --> 00:50:22,305 [Gasps] What? 935 00:50:22,407 --> 00:50:24,736 Pink roses. 936 00:50:24,841 --> 00:50:26,738 [Jim] Pink roses. Yeah. 937 00:50:27,908 --> 00:50:31,498 They're nice, aren't they? Yes. Artificial. Nice try. 938 00:50:31,608 --> 00:50:34,369 Well... [Chuckles] I almost got ya. 939 00:50:34,508 --> 00:50:36,769 Yeah. Well. 940 00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:40,137 So, has Michelle ever told you the story ofhow we fell in love? 941 00:50:40,242 --> 00:50:42,764 Oh, why don't you retell us now? 942 00:50:42,910 --> 00:50:45,467 It's... It's one of my favorite stories. Where should I begin? 943 00:50:45,610 --> 00:50:47,507 Um... [Clears Throat] 944 00:50:47,610 --> 00:50:49,598 Let's see. Uh... 945 00:50:49,711 --> 00:50:53,733 Well, I suppose, uh... I suppose it all started at, um... 946 00:50:58,112 --> 00:51:00,839 Tall Oaks. 947 00:51:00,945 --> 00:51:03,308 That's-That's right. At Tall Oaks. 948 00:51:03,412 --> 00:51:06,344 That was the summer when, uh... Oh! 949 00:51:06,445 --> 00:51:08,569 Oh! The summer that was so hot. 950 00:51:08,713 --> 00:51:11,144 So hot. All right. Look what I got. 951 00:51:11,246 --> 00:51:13,143 Jesus! 952 00:51:13,246 --> 00:51:15,143 Hey there. Hi there. 953 00:51:15,247 --> 00:51:18,837 Hey. Jim, I cannot believe you. 954 00:51:20,648 --> 00:51:25,103 - You can't? - You hired help on our account? That is entirely unnecessary. 955 00:51:25,215 --> 00:51:27,703 But I will have some of that wine, sir. 956 00:51:27,815 --> 00:51:31,212 - Say, "Please," Harold. - Please. Of course. 957 00:51:31,316 --> 00:51:35,407 [British Accent] Absolutely. It's what he's here for, is-is the wine, obviously. 958 00:51:35,516 --> 00:51:38,346 Yes. Evidently. What else would you be here for? 959 00:51:38,450 --> 00:51:43,576 And-And-And I certainly appreciate your-your-your courtesy, sir. 960 00:51:43,717 --> 00:51:46,046 Ah. Uh, well, yes. 961 00:51:46,150 --> 00:51:49,842 Uh, we have... we have right here a 1999... 962 00:51:50,018 --> 00:51:52,609 cabernet seve... um... 963 00:51:52,751 --> 00:51:57,206 full-bodied, masculine wine. 964 00:51:57,352 --> 00:52:00,182 Just shouts sophistication. 965 00:52:01,853 --> 00:52:03,750 - James. - Yes. 966 00:52:03,853 --> 00:52:07,716 Well, I can see you're very surprised to see me here. A little bit. 967 00:52:07,820 --> 00:52:10,115 I'm going to go check on the dogs. Yes, yes! 968 00:52:10,220 --> 00:52:13,243 In fact, why don't you both go check on the dogs and... 969 00:52:13,354 --> 00:52:16,808 No, no, no. Don't check on the dogs. They're fine. 970 00:52:16,922 --> 00:52:19,649 - How do you know? - Because I just checked on the dogs. 971 00:52:19,755 --> 00:52:22,277 Because he just checked on the dogs. Good work, man. I did. 972 00:52:22,421 --> 00:52:24,750 - Jim, I'll help you with the turkey. - Okay. 973 00:52:24,923 --> 00:52:27,821 Um, and I'll keep you company. 974 00:52:27,923 --> 00:52:29,820 Thank you. Whoo. 975 00:52:29,923 --> 00:52:33,185 So, how long have you been a sommelier, Mr., um... 976 00:52:33,323 --> 00:52:35,811 Belvedere, ma'am. Oh. Belvedere. 977 00:52:36,924 --> 00:52:38,821 It's chilly in here. 978 00:52:38,924 --> 00:52:41,549 So, how long do we have to stay in here for? 979 00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:44,146 I don't know. They said to hide. 980 00:52:44,258 --> 00:52:46,553 I guess we'll just wait for 'em to call us. 981 00:52:46,659 --> 00:52:49,648 [Krystal] Who knows what kind of kinky shit they're getting ready for us. 982 00:52:49,759 --> 00:52:51,724 Do these go in your ass tonight or mine? 983 00:52:54,860 --> 00:52:57,348 Do you have a serving dish ready? 984 00:52:59,126 --> 00:52:59,419 - Jim. - Hmm? 985 00:52:59,526 --> 00:53:01,821 We need a serving dish. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course. 986 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,725 - Oh! - What? 987 00:53:06,627 --> 00:53:09,593 - Nothing. - Then why the excitement? 988 00:53:09,727 --> 00:53:12,022 I thought, uh, the-the dish was broken. 989 00:53:12,161 --> 00:53:14,319 Well, is it? No. 990 00:53:14,462 --> 00:53:16,359 Then, are you going to get it? Yes. 991 00:53:27,330 --> 00:53:29,522 Here you go. One serving dish. Excellent. 992 00:53:29,630 --> 00:53:32,391 Now what we need... a cutting board. 993 00:53:32,530 --> 00:53:34,086 Huh? No, no, no, no! Stop! What? 994 00:53:34,231 --> 00:53:38,526 I-I will get it for you. Nonsense. I can get a cutting board. 995 00:53:38,631 --> 00:53:43,063 Ah, let's see. There you go. This should do nicely. 996 00:53:43,165 --> 00:53:45,892 I presume we're having white wine with the turkey. 997 00:53:46,033 --> 00:53:47,930 Uh, let me go check. 998 00:53:50,533 --> 00:53:52,623 [Mary Chuckles] 999 00:53:52,733 --> 00:53:55,494 What happened here? 1000 00:53:55,633 --> 00:53:58,428 [Jim] Oh, um, that... that's mud. 1001 00:53:58,533 --> 00:54:01,930 I meant to clean that up this morning. How embarrassing. 1002 00:54:02,034 --> 00:54:04,591 That's gonna stain. We're gonna need a mop. 1003 00:54:04,734 --> 00:54:05,994 I'll get it. It's in this closet. 1004 00:54:06,135 --> 00:54:09,861 Oh! No, no, no! No, it's not. 1005 00:54:09,969 --> 00:54:12,161 - It's in there. - It's not in this closet... 1006 00:54:12,268 --> 00:54:15,858 because I-I, um... I moved it... I moved it. 1007 00:54:16,036 --> 00:54:17,933 Well, where? I'll go get it. 1008 00:54:18,036 --> 00:54:20,194 I-I don't... I don't remember. 1009 00:54:20,337 --> 00:54:22,325 You don't remember? 1010 00:54:22,470 --> 00:54:25,561 You know why I don't remember is because I actually did not move it. 1011 00:54:25,671 --> 00:54:28,136 The cleaning lady did. 1012 00:54:28,237 --> 00:54:30,099 Your mother said you don't have a cleaning lady. 1013 00:54:30,238 --> 00:54:33,227 I don't know why she would say such a... You called, master? 1014 00:54:33,338 --> 00:54:36,361 Holy... Well, there you are. 1015 00:54:36,472 --> 00:54:38,562 Hello. How do you do? 1016 00:54:39,839 --> 00:54:42,634 Uh, so, cleaning lady, 1017 00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:45,728 we were wondering where... where the mop was. 1018 00:54:45,839 --> 00:54:48,737 Master put the mop in my fanny. 1019 00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,397 - You what? - Who put what where? 1020 00:54:51,540 --> 00:54:54,165 I did no such thing anywhere. 1021 00:54:54,340 --> 00:54:56,771 Shall I clean? [Giggles] 1022 00:54:58,875 --> 00:55:00,840 [Chuckles] Harold. 1023 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:07,137 [Sighs] Very well. It is so hot in here. 1024 00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:08,440 [Skipped item nr. 1024] 1025 00:55:08,442 --> 00:55:10,430 - [Screams] - HolyJesus! 1026 00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:15,571 - [Breathing Heavily] - [Screams] 1027 00:55:15,677 --> 00:55:19,631 Oh, Brandi, Brandi. What are you doing? You're not in Eastern Europe anymore. 1028 00:55:19,744 --> 00:55:25,438 You can't do that. I am so sorry about my... my cousin. She's not used to our customs. 1029 00:55:25,544 --> 00:55:28,567 Jim, I apologize for recommending her to you. 1030 00:55:28,679 --> 00:55:31,304 Oh, here's, uh... here's this, by the way. 1031 00:55:31,445 --> 00:55:34,070 Ah, yeah. Got the mop. 1032 00:55:34,179 --> 00:55:37,202 Brandi, you left the mop in the car. Hmm? 1033 00:55:37,346 --> 00:55:40,902 Now remember, it's called a car, not a fanny. 1034 00:55:41,047 --> 00:55:44,842 You remember last time when you wanted me to take a ride in your fanny? Of course. 1035 00:55:44,980 --> 00:55:48,638 - [Jim Laughs] - [Brandi] Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. 1036 00:55:48,781 --> 00:55:50,837 [Finch] You know what? We should probablyjust go. 1037 00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:54,537 I'm so sorry about this. I just came by to make sure everything was in order. 1038 00:55:54,648 --> 00:55:57,409 [Sniffs] Ooh, food smells great! 1039 00:55:57,548 --> 00:55:59,775 [Brandi] Au revoir. 1040 00:55:59,882 --> 00:56:02,279 Jim, you have unique friends. 1041 00:56:03,382 --> 00:56:05,847 Harold! Let's get that cleaned up. 1042 00:56:05,950 --> 00:56:09,041 Um, I think I saw some Pine-Sol in here too. 1043 00:56:09,151 --> 00:56:12,707 Aye-yay-yay. Oh, my God! 1044 00:56:12,850 --> 00:56:14,747 Oh, my Lord.! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! 1045 00:56:14,884 --> 00:56:17,349 He's okay. Are you all right? Are you okay? 1046 00:56:17,451 --> 00:56:19,973 Who did this to you? I'm sure he's okay. Are you okay? 1047 00:56:20,151 --> 00:56:23,775 Get some help! Harold, call the police! No, no, please. 1048 00:56:23,885 --> 00:56:26,510 - All right! - Jesus! 1049 00:56:26,651 --> 00:56:28,980 I'll take charge from here. 1050 00:56:29,086 --> 00:56:31,643 - They are fast here. And nicely attired. - What's going on here? 1051 00:56:31,753 --> 00:56:34,514 - She's here to protect and serve. - Quiet! 1052 00:56:34,653 --> 00:56:36,811 - Okay. - Who let this boy out of the closet? 1053 00:56:36,954 --> 00:56:39,078 [Stammering] You are all in for a hard punishment now. 1054 00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:41,277 Don't you touch him. He's been hurt. 1055 00:56:41,387 --> 00:56:43,352 - No, this is hurt! - Ow! 1056 00:56:43,454 --> 00:56:45,612 You can't do that. Silence, fucker! 1057 00:56:45,755 --> 00:56:47,686 Ow! Oh, you like it. 1058 00:56:47,788 --> 00:56:49,753 Oh! Harold! 1059 00:56:49,854 --> 00:56:51,978 What's gotten into you? I meant "ow." 1060 00:56:52,156 --> 00:56:54,621 Dirty whore! Shut your hole! Obey! 1061 00:56:54,755 --> 00:56:56,947 [Screaming] [Harold] You can't do that.! 1062 00:56:57,056 --> 00:57:00,284 - [Mary] You're a disgrace to the police force. - I'll be giving you an enema! 1063 00:57:00,389 --> 00:57:02,616 Hey, somebody untie me.! 1064 00:57:02,756 --> 00:57:05,916 Back off! All right, forget it. We give up. 1065 00:57:06,057 --> 00:57:08,249 Oh, Steven! Steven! 1066 00:57:08,358 --> 00:57:11,153 Oh, it's okay, Mary. What's going on? 1067 00:57:11,258 --> 00:57:13,246 Listen. This isn't working, guys. 1068 00:57:13,358 --> 00:57:16,051 Krystal, you can drop the act. This isn't a real cop. 1069 00:57:16,158 --> 00:57:18,646 Kevin wasn't assaulted. [Gasps] 1070 00:57:18,759 --> 00:57:21,350 I just wanted to makeJim look good for you guys. 1071 00:57:21,459 --> 00:57:23,822 Like a real hero. Kind of like me. 1072 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:27,357 So, we hired a fake cop and we tied up Kevin and put him in the closet. 1073 00:57:27,460 --> 00:57:30,119 Jim was supposed to rescue him, untie him, give him mouth-to-mouth. 1074 00:57:30,260 --> 00:57:32,225 I don't know what he likes to do. 1075 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,689 You know, and then Paul Finch hired an exotic dancer instead of a real actor. 1076 00:57:35,794 --> 00:57:37,918 Jim, is this true? 1077 00:57:40,194 --> 00:57:43,852 - Every word of it. - That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. 1078 00:57:43,962 --> 00:57:47,087 You've embarrassed me and Harold and Mr. Belvedere. 1079 00:57:47,195 --> 00:57:51,058 It's all my fault. I'm a bad person. 1080 00:57:51,163 --> 00:57:56,618 Oh, you're not a bad person. You were just trying to help out your best friend. 1081 00:57:56,763 --> 00:58:00,660 And it was an awful idea. But I suppose it's the thought that counts. 1082 00:58:00,764 --> 00:58:04,060 You know, actually, um... 1083 00:58:04,165 --> 00:58:08,426 Actually, I-I never should have allowed... 1084 00:58:08,564 --> 00:58:12,393 such a... such a crazy plan to happen in the first place. 1085 00:58:12,498 --> 00:58:17,226 If you're gonna blame anybody here, blame me. 1086 00:58:17,366 --> 00:58:20,560 Well, I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't realize how much pressure we put on you. 1087 00:58:20,666 --> 00:58:24,290 I'm sure you both learned your lesson and I suppose I understand. 1088 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:28,195 Jim, if you put half as much energy into your marriage as you put into tonight, 1089 00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:30,561 I'm confident that I can give you my blessing. 1090 00:58:33,568 --> 00:58:36,466 And, Steven, we still adore you, honey. 1091 00:58:36,568 --> 00:58:40,294 In fact, I think I know who should hold onto this. 1092 00:58:40,402 --> 00:58:43,095 We adore you. You'll take good care of it. 1093 00:58:43,202 --> 00:58:45,963 You've gotta be kidding me. No. 1094 00:58:46,070 --> 00:58:48,661 Look it, Jim. Kevin. Boy, this really makes me important to the wedding, huh? 1095 00:58:50,403 --> 00:58:52,868 Yes. 1096 00:58:52,971 --> 00:58:56,925 Well, Mr. Belvedere, it's gonna be one fucked-up wedding. 1097 00:58:57,004 --> 00:58:59,026 Absolutely. 1098 00:59:00,304 --> 00:59:02,531 Drive carefully. There's more bags in the study. 1099 00:59:02,671 --> 00:59:04,795 Thank you. You're welcome. 1100 00:59:04,905 --> 00:59:09,667 But everything it all just feels the same 1101 00:59:09,772 --> 00:59:11,703 Ow! Is there any room for me? 1102 00:59:11,806 --> 00:59:14,067 Uh, nope. 1103 00:59:14,174 --> 00:59:16,435 Oh, I'll just drive up north all by myself. 1104 00:59:16,573 --> 00:59:18,697 That sounds good. We'll see you later. 1105 00:59:18,807 --> 00:59:22,533 No, I'll drive with you. Oh, thanks, Cadence. 1106 00:59:22,674 --> 00:59:25,834 - Beautiful lady. - Sure. 1107 00:59:28,674 --> 00:59:31,469 Hey, Finch... I know, shut up. Kevin. 1108 00:59:31,575 --> 00:59:33,870 I don't ever wanna be you 1109 00:59:33,976 --> 00:59:36,271 Don't wanna bejust like you 1110 00:59:36,376 --> 00:59:39,773 What I'm saying is this is the anthem throw all your hands up 1111 00:59:39,876 --> 00:59:41,773 You 1112 00:59:41,876 --> 00:59:45,568 So, my mom found the dogs playing with something unusual this morning. 1113 00:59:45,676 --> 00:59:49,607 What? I told her it was a neck massager. 1114 00:59:51,811 --> 00:59:53,708 Oh, these are great. 1115 00:59:53,812 --> 00:59:55,970 Go to college, a university 1116 00:59:56,079 --> 00:59:57,601 Get a real job That's what they said to me 1117 01:00:00,778 --> 01:00:00,810 [Skipped item nr. 1117] 1118 01:00:00,812 --> 01:00:02,674 But I could never live the way they want 1119 01:00:04,679 --> 01:00:07,110 Do you really wanna be like them 1120 01:00:07,212 --> 01:00:09,677 Do you really wanna be another trend 1121 01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:12,405 Do you wanna be part of that crowd 1122 01:00:12,513 --> 01:00:17,571 'Cause I don't ever wanna I don't ever wanna be you 1123 01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,668 Hilarious, huh? Yeah. [Laughs] 1124 01:00:21,815 --> 01:00:24,280 That kind of thing's so lethargic to me. 1125 01:00:24,414 --> 01:00:27,141 [Laughs] What do you mean? 1126 01:00:27,282 --> 01:00:28,975 I'm not sure. 1127 01:00:29,083 --> 01:00:31,742 This is the anthem Throw all your hands up 1128 01:00:31,882 --> 01:00:34,871 Y'all got the feeling Sing if you're with me 1129 01:00:34,983 --> 01:00:38,880 You Don't wanna bejust like you 1130 01:00:38,984 --> 01:00:43,177 Just like you This is the anthem Throw all your hands up 1131 01:00:43,284 --> 01:00:45,579 Y'all got the feeling Sing if you're with me 1132 01:00:45,684 --> 01:00:48,775 Another loser anthem Whoa-oh 1133 01:00:48,884 --> 01:00:50,872 Mr. "Styfler," I already told you... 1134 01:00:50,985 --> 01:00:53,576 you called two days ago and canceled your reservation. 1135 01:00:53,718 --> 01:00:55,683 Since you now wish to stay here, 1136 01:00:55,785 --> 01:00:58,182 I thought you could persuade Mr. Finch to share his room. 1137 01:00:58,319 --> 01:01:01,149 Hey, shithead. I didn't cancel my reservation. 1138 01:01:01,286 --> 01:01:03,251 Mr. Fuckface Finch called here, 1139 01:01:03,386 --> 01:01:05,613 and Mr. Idiot-Behind-The-Desk canceled it. 1140 01:01:05,721 --> 01:01:10,312 Kristof, please pardon my friend's uncouth behavior. 1141 01:01:10,420 --> 01:01:12,147 I did no such thing. 1142 01:01:12,288 --> 01:01:14,116 Nor did I, sir, 1143 01:01:14,221 --> 01:01:18,175 and your rudeness and obscenities won't change anything. 1144 01:01:18,288 --> 01:01:20,776 Oh. Well, then, I guess it doesn't matter... 1145 01:01:20,888 --> 01:01:23,786 if I call you a crotch-face, you ball-scratching Finch-fucker. 1146 01:01:23,888 --> 01:01:25,876 - Or better yet, go blow your dad! - My dad? 1147 01:01:26,023 --> 01:01:27,613 Hear, hear! 1148 01:01:27,789 --> 01:01:30,380 While you're there, stick a finger up both their asses. 1149 01:01:30,522 --> 01:01:31,487 [Stifler] Oh. [Laughs] 1150 01:01:31,590 --> 01:01:33,487 Um, uh, hey. Hi. 1151 01:01:33,590 --> 01:01:36,249 Um, Finch, rudeness and obscenity won't change anything. 1152 01:01:36,390 --> 01:01:39,719 Here's a thought. Grow a sack, fill it with some balls, 1153 01:01:39,824 --> 01:01:44,279 magically sprout a dick, shove it up your ass, start fucking yourself with it. 1154 01:01:44,391 --> 01:01:45,788 Yeah, baby! 1155 01:01:45,892 --> 01:01:47,880 Whoo! Baby, you know what I'm sayin'? Oh! 1156 01:01:47,992 --> 01:01:49,514 Ohh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 1157 01:01:49,625 --> 01:01:51,250 Yeah! This is disgusting! 1158 01:01:51,392 --> 01:01:55,323 - [Yelps] - Why don't you go dust with your perverse European cousin? 1159 01:01:55,426 --> 01:01:59,084 Is she here? Unbelievable. 1160 01:01:59,227 --> 01:02:01,920 [Mary] I'd like to book a tee time for my husband... 1161 01:02:02,094 --> 01:02:04,218 and a European pumpkin-peel facial for me, please. 1162 01:02:04,394 --> 01:02:06,325 Ooh! Make that two. 1163 01:02:06,427 --> 01:02:08,654 [Jim's Dad] You're gonna have a fun weekend, Ma. 1164 01:02:08,794 --> 01:02:11,624 I am missing my soap. Well, don't you worry about your soaps. 1165 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:14,695 Will you push faster? I'm tired. 1166 01:02:14,795 --> 01:02:18,419 And wait till you meet Michelle. You're gonna love her. She's sweet as sugar. 1167 01:02:18,529 --> 01:02:22,324 I can't eat sugar. I know, because you're diabetic. 1168 01:02:22,429 --> 01:02:27,225 You know, Ma, I know things haven't been going well for you. I know that. 1169 01:02:27,330 --> 01:02:29,989 But wait till you seeJim standing up there at the altar tomorrow. 1170 01:02:30,097 --> 01:02:34,756 I mean, if ever there was a time to be happy and smile the biggest smile, 1171 01:02:34,898 --> 01:02:38,194 now is the time. Okay. Okay! 1172 01:02:38,299 --> 01:02:40,787 I'm overjoyed. 1173 01:02:40,932 --> 01:02:44,420 That's... That's a start. 1174 01:02:44,532 --> 01:02:47,692 Proud grandmother coming through. 1175 01:02:47,799 --> 01:02:49,787 Grandson's getting married tomorrow. 1176 01:02:49,899 --> 01:02:52,797 You think she's happy now? Wait till tomorrow. 1177 01:02:54,134 --> 01:02:56,759 Congratulations. 1178 01:03:00,001 --> 01:03:03,024 [Glass Clinking] 1179 01:03:03,134 --> 01:03:05,531 Grooming. 1180 01:03:05,635 --> 01:03:08,964 Do you think that I could get some Jiggy, jiggy 1181 01:03:09,102 --> 01:03:11,465 Maybejust a little finga Sticky, sticky 1182 01:03:11,603 --> 01:03:14,034 You my electrical lip balm flava 1183 01:03:14,203 --> 01:03:15,997 I gotta do ya till the next song saves ya 1184 01:03:17,803 --> 01:03:19,393 Can I get a little zip zip Looky, looky [Buzzing] 1185 01:03:19,503 --> 01:03:21,661 Maybejust a little uh-uh Looky, looky 1186 01:03:21,803 --> 01:03:24,701 She got the power of the hoochie 1187 01:03:24,838 --> 01:03:27,429 I got the fever for the flava of the coochie 1188 01:03:27,604 --> 01:03:30,536 And did I mention Hey, pay attention 1189 01:03:30,705 --> 01:03:33,762 Gonna take that booty to the nudie dimension Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey 1190 01:03:33,905 --> 01:03:37,700 - [Clippers Buzzing] - Oh, pretty, pretty shy, whoa 1191 01:03:37,805 --> 01:03:41,101 What do I have to say You got bigger. 1192 01:03:41,207 --> 01:03:43,104 To get inside, girl 1193 01:03:43,206 --> 01:03:46,468 What do I have to say 1194 01:03:46,606 --> 01:03:48,696 Mmm 1195 01:03:50,641 --> 01:03:53,368 The flowers stay refrigerated until morning. 1196 01:03:53,507 --> 01:03:56,098 Just as we made them. Oh, I'm sure they will. 1197 01:03:56,208 --> 01:03:58,469 [Coughing] Oh, my... 1198 01:04:01,508 --> 01:04:04,531 [All Coughing] 1199 01:04:08,109 --> 01:04:11,870 - Oh! Ah! - Oh, Jimmy, no! 1200 01:04:12,010 --> 01:04:14,100 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1201 01:04:22,144 --> 01:04:24,609 I hope you'll be more careful with the next one. 1202 01:04:24,711 --> 01:04:27,506 My kitchen is not a toilet. Okay? 1203 01:04:34,746 --> 01:04:38,234 Boy, pubic hair was just not an issue when I was dating. 1204 01:04:39,813 --> 01:04:43,437 The ladies, uh, never complained when they were... 1205 01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:45,444 you know, down in that general area. 1206 01:04:45,547 --> 01:04:47,910 Okay, if you never mention that ever again, that'd be great. 1207 01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:51,536 You're right. No, no, no. Okay. Shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe... 1208 01:04:51,648 --> 01:04:51,746 So, can I see the ring? 1209 01:04:51,748 --> 01:04:53,542 So, can I see the ring? 1210 01:04:53,649 --> 01:04:58,104 Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket. 1211 01:04:58,215 --> 01:05:00,442 Okay, Frodo. 1212 01:05:00,549 --> 01:05:02,446 [Both Chuckle] 1213 01:05:02,549 --> 01:05:05,413 You really care about this wedding, don't you? 1214 01:05:05,549 --> 01:05:09,640 Yeah. I'm gonna cry at the ceremony. 1215 01:05:09,817 --> 01:05:12,715 I know it. [Sighs] 1216 01:05:12,817 --> 01:05:14,873 Are you just saying all of this? 1217 01:05:15,018 --> 01:05:20,712 I mean, do you act differently around certain people? Namely me. 1218 01:05:20,817 --> 01:05:24,748 Of course not. Why? Do you act differently around me? 1219 01:05:24,852 --> 01:05:29,307 Generally I'm just me. If people don't like it, then that's their problem, right? 1220 01:05:29,420 --> 01:05:31,408 Yeah. Fuck those fuckers. 1221 01:05:31,519 --> 01:05:33,416 What? 1222 01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:37,042 I-I didn't... No, you know, you're right. Fuck 'em. 1223 01:05:37,153 --> 01:05:38,743 [Chuckles] 1224 01:05:41,820 --> 01:05:46,275 - Hey, Harold and Mary. - Oh, hi, kids. - Hi. 1225 01:05:46,422 --> 01:05:48,410 How's it going? 1226 01:05:48,522 --> 01:05:51,647 Thanks for, um... Come on. Thanks for watching the dogs. 1227 01:05:51,756 --> 01:05:56,415 I love these guys. Hey, you guys want more Snausages? Huh? There you go. 1228 01:05:57,522 --> 01:05:59,010 - Eat 'em up, fellas. - Give me some. 1229 01:05:59,124 --> 01:06:02,022 Oh, there you go. I don't think I have any left. 1230 01:06:04,657 --> 01:06:07,714 - What's wrong? - Oh, shit. 1231 01:06:07,824 --> 01:06:10,722 - Are you okay? - [Whimpers] 1232 01:06:11,858 --> 01:06:14,323 Yeah. 1233 01:06:16,625 --> 01:06:20,057 You kissed Stifler? Yeah, but then he freaked. 1234 01:06:20,158 --> 01:06:22,919 And it's like he's been paying more attention to the dogs than me. 1235 01:06:23,027 --> 01:06:27,015 Can I stop worrying then? Michelle, he's been nothing but nice to me. 1236 01:06:27,126 --> 01:06:30,217 I mean, do you think he really likes you? Like... 1237 01:06:30,327 --> 01:06:32,986 I don't know. I hope he likes me. 1238 01:06:33,127 --> 01:06:35,524 I mean, I think he likes me. 1239 01:06:35,628 --> 01:06:39,559 We're... Well, yeah, I guess I hope he likes me. 1240 01:06:42,629 --> 01:06:44,821 Do it. 1241 01:06:44,962 --> 01:06:46,859 Don't fuck around. 1242 01:06:46,962 --> 01:06:49,587 Just relax and let it go. 1243 01:06:49,729 --> 01:06:51,626 I'm sick of waiting. 1244 01:06:51,729 --> 01:06:54,126 Do it for Daddy. 1245 01:06:54,230 --> 01:06:57,025 Will you just take a shit already? 1246 01:07:00,430 --> 01:07:00,461 [Skipped item nr. 1246] 1247 01:07:00,463 --> 01:07:01,257 Great. 1248 01:07:01,364 --> 01:07:03,591 You fed the ring to the dogs, didn't you? 1249 01:07:03,731 --> 01:07:09,527 [Scoffs, Snickers] Of course not. 1250 01:07:09,631 --> 01:07:12,722 You have been staring at those dogs like a hawk all day. 1251 01:07:12,831 --> 01:07:15,262 I'm a dog lover. 1252 01:07:15,366 --> 01:07:17,695 Oh, and by the way... 1253 01:07:17,832 --> 01:07:21,558 apparently you missed when Cadence kissed me. 1254 01:07:21,667 --> 01:07:23,791 Slight tongue action too. 1255 01:07:23,933 --> 01:07:26,922 It was something like this. [Warbles] 1256 01:07:27,067 --> 01:07:28,794 You're a terrible liar, Stifler. 1257 01:07:28,934 --> 01:07:32,366 If I were lying, I'd think of something better than a kiss. 1258 01:07:32,534 --> 01:07:35,329 Maybe a blow job or some titty grabbin'. [Laughs] 1259 01:07:35,435 --> 01:07:37,297 No pussy for you, Finch. 1260 01:07:38,835 --> 01:07:41,027 Oh, fuckin' right, doggy! 1261 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:44,922 It's about goddamn time. Jackpot.! 1262 01:07:45,037 --> 01:07:49,731 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to. 1263 01:07:55,470 --> 01:07:57,958 [Laughs] Great! 1264 01:08:02,371 --> 01:08:05,428 [Squishing] 1265 01:08:05,538 --> 01:08:08,698 [Shudders, Groans] 1266 01:08:08,838 --> 01:08:09,860 Thanks, assholes. 1267 01:08:11,273 --> 01:08:11,338 [Skipped item nr. 1267] 1268 01:08:11,340 --> 01:08:14,033 [Mary] You know, maybe you can call them. [Woman] Oh, okay. 1269 01:08:14,140 --> 01:08:18,128 Steve, come over here. 1270 01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:22,138 Uh, I'm a little busy. 1271 01:08:22,274 --> 01:08:24,603 [Mary] With what? Come on over. We need you. 1272 01:08:24,741 --> 01:08:28,297 - Get over here, you little rascal. - We were just talking about Michelle's wedding band. 1273 01:08:28,441 --> 01:08:30,338 Could I see it? 1274 01:08:30,442 --> 01:08:33,033 Um, no. 1275 01:08:33,142 --> 01:08:36,471 - No? - I don't have it. 1276 01:08:36,575 --> 01:08:39,769 What? You mean you lost it? Of course not. 1277 01:08:39,876 --> 01:08:42,671 I'm keeping it safe in my room, you silly Sally. 1278 01:08:42,777 --> 01:08:45,470 - I apologize. - That's fine. I'll just see it later. 1279 01:08:45,576 --> 01:08:48,303 Okay. All right then. What do you have in your hand there? 1280 01:08:52,144 --> 01:08:56,166 - This one? - No, the other one. 1281 01:08:58,079 --> 01:09:00,772 It's a chocolate truffle. Ooh, yummy.! 1282 01:09:00,879 --> 01:09:02,969 Where did you get that? 1283 01:09:03,079 --> 01:09:07,943 Oh, the caterer said she was saving the truffles for tomorrow. 1284 01:09:08,046 --> 01:09:09,943 You sneaky devil. 1285 01:09:11,980 --> 01:09:14,741 Well, hey, I managed to sneak one right past her. 1286 01:09:14,846 --> 01:09:17,107 Oh, come on. This woman loves chocolate. 1287 01:09:17,248 --> 01:09:19,645 - At least give her a tiny nibble. - Give it to Mama. 1288 01:09:19,748 --> 01:09:23,010 Mama don't want this. This is the only piece that I have. 1289 01:09:23,149 --> 01:09:25,910 - Idiot. - Well, break it in half. Come on. 1290 01:09:26,049 --> 01:09:29,072 You know what? Let's just leave the surprises till tomorrow, huh, guys? 1291 01:09:29,249 --> 01:09:31,976 - It's gonna be a great day. - I'd like my surprise right now. 1292 01:09:32,150 --> 01:09:35,116 - No, it's mine! - Steven, give it to me. 1293 01:09:35,250 --> 01:09:37,875 - No. - Give me the "G" darn truffle. 1294 01:09:37,983 --> 01:09:40,175 [Gasps] 1295 01:09:40,284 --> 01:09:42,078 - [Gagging] - [Harold] Steven, that is so selfish. 1296 01:09:43,351 --> 01:09:43,449 [Skipped item nr. 1296] 1297 01:09:43,451 --> 01:09:46,848 Mm, it's good. Is it? Is it sweet? 1298 01:09:48,051 --> 01:09:52,449 - It's so sweet. - [Gagging] 1299 01:09:52,552 --> 01:09:56,347 Close your mouth when you chew, Steven. Don't do that. 1300 01:09:56,453 --> 01:10:01,283 At least you could describe to the lovely woman how delicious it is. 1301 01:10:01,386 --> 01:10:05,147 Well, tastes like twigs and berries. 1302 01:10:05,254 --> 01:10:07,378 Is it Swiss or French chocolate? 1303 01:10:07,486 --> 01:10:09,644 Maybe German. Oh, really? 1304 01:10:09,754 --> 01:10:12,777 Uh-huh. Is it creamy? 1305 01:10:12,888 --> 01:10:15,410 Yeah, it's creamy. Easy to go down, right? 1306 01:10:15,555 --> 01:10:18,043 Well, I'm trying to savor the flavor right now. 1307 01:10:18,155 --> 01:10:20,780 - [Harold] Is it fresh? - Oh, it's so fresh. 1308 01:10:20,889 --> 01:10:24,014 Nothing better than when they're fresh. Nothing better. 1309 01:10:24,156 --> 01:10:26,644 The problem is you can't eatjust one, can ya? 1310 01:10:26,756 --> 01:10:30,585 No. No, you can't. But you've got to know when to stop, don't you? 1311 01:10:30,690 --> 01:10:33,087 You really do, but it's hard. It's really hard. 1312 01:10:33,191 --> 01:10:36,021 Droppings from the gods. Ooh! 1313 01:10:36,158 --> 01:10:38,055 Get me another one, darling. Come on. 1314 01:10:38,158 --> 01:10:40,623 You selfish boy. Next time, bring enough for everybody. 1315 01:10:40,757 --> 01:10:43,382 Hey, let's keep this to ourselves. Huh? Okay? 1316 01:10:43,492 --> 01:10:46,219 Okay. I gotta go, okay? 1317 01:10:46,359 --> 01:10:49,120 Don't have any more because it's gonna spoil your appetite. 1318 01:10:49,259 --> 01:10:51,850 Okay. Hey, look, man. I gotta go. 1319 01:10:51,993 --> 01:10:53,322 [Harold] See ya. [Chuckles] 1320 01:10:53,460 --> 01:10:55,391 [Groans] 1321 01:10:56,493 --> 01:10:58,481 [Groans] 1322 01:10:58,660 --> 01:11:01,922 Grandma, I want you to meet some people. 1323 01:11:04,194 --> 01:11:06,159 Grandma, this is Michelle. 1324 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,750 I'm so proud to be joining your family. 1325 01:11:09,562 --> 01:11:10,993 [Jim] She's real pretty, huh? 1326 01:11:12,696 --> 01:11:15,662 [Jim] Isn't it great? We're getting married. 1327 01:11:15,762 --> 01:11:17,750 It's amazing, Gram. 1328 01:11:20,063 --> 01:11:24,518 NotJewish. No wedding, Jimmy! No wedding. 1329 01:11:24,596 --> 01:11:27,153 Forget it. Goy.! Grandma? 1330 01:11:27,264 --> 01:11:29,286 - Shit. - Jim, she hates me. 1331 01:11:29,464 --> 01:11:31,361 [Grumbles] 1332 01:11:31,464 --> 01:11:33,224 Oh, my God! Grandma! 1333 01:11:33,364 --> 01:11:35,329 Grandma, we love each other. [Mumbles] 1334 01:11:35,465 --> 01:11:37,453 Michelle and I love each other very much. 1335 01:11:37,598 --> 01:11:40,291 And that's all that matters. Grandma.! Grandma. 1336 01:11:41,865 --> 01:11:44,831 Michelle. Michelle. 1337 01:11:46,100 --> 01:11:47,997 [Jazz] [Jim's Dad] But, uh, Grandma's okay. 1338 01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:51,963 Oh, she's okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, Dad. She's okay. She's just a little tired. 1339 01:11:52,067 --> 01:11:54,897 Okay. My mother hasn't been well. 1340 01:11:55,001 --> 01:11:57,489 When your dad sees the look on Grandma's face... 1341 01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:00,589 it's... it's gonna break his heart. 1342 01:12:00,701 --> 01:12:03,531 Because of me. It's not because of you. 1343 01:12:03,668 --> 01:12:05,656 Michelle, it's not because of you at all. 1344 01:12:05,768 --> 01:12:08,598 It's because Grandma thinks it's 1801. 1345 01:12:08,703 --> 01:12:12,657 Look. Don't... Don't worry. I will... I'll come up with something. 1346 01:12:13,769 --> 01:12:15,825 I promised you the wedding of your dreams, 1347 01:12:15,970 --> 01:12:18,959 and I'm not gonna let anything ruin it. 1348 01:12:19,071 --> 01:12:21,161 Oh. [Clears Throat] 1349 01:12:21,271 --> 01:12:23,202 I would like to propose a toast. 1350 01:12:23,303 --> 01:12:27,598 These last few weeks have really been something for my lovely wife and me. 1351 01:12:27,705 --> 01:12:30,796 We have met some people we didn't know existed. 1352 01:12:30,905 --> 01:12:34,461 We've experienced some things we didn't think were possible. 1353 01:12:34,572 --> 01:12:37,595 We've always tried to make the best of every situation. 1354 01:12:37,772 --> 01:12:40,533 - This is a good situation. - That's what I'm saying. 1355 01:12:40,673 --> 01:12:43,070 This is a wonderful situation. 1356 01:12:43,173 --> 01:12:46,729 The coming together of two families from different backgrounds. 1357 01:12:46,873 --> 01:12:50,270 So, to our new son-in-law, may we say Erin Go Braugh. 1358 01:12:50,374 --> 01:12:53,703 To our lovely daughter Michelle, L'chaim. 1359 01:12:53,808 --> 01:12:56,000 - Did I get that right? - Very good. 1360 01:12:56,108 --> 01:12:59,971 Uh, and let's hope we can sip many happy shivas together. 1361 01:13:01,476 --> 01:13:03,270 Here's to a wonderful wedding. 1362 01:13:03,375 --> 01:13:05,636 [All] Cheers. 1363 01:13:10,576 --> 01:13:14,337 See that, shit-brick. Told you I won. 1364 01:13:15,876 --> 01:13:17,864 Hey. Hey. 1365 01:13:17,977 --> 01:13:22,966 So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I freaked you out with the whole kiss thing. 1366 01:13:23,078 --> 01:13:24,975 You didn't freak me out. 1367 01:13:25,079 --> 01:13:28,567 I just wanted to let you know that... 1368 01:13:28,678 --> 01:13:30,802 you make me feel special. 1369 01:13:31,912 --> 01:13:34,139 I think you're the most special girl I've ever known. 1370 01:13:36,313 --> 01:13:39,937 Maybe you'd wanna make things extra special tonight. 1371 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,477 Which room is yours? 1372 01:13:42,613 --> 01:13:45,078 I'm crashing at Kevin's. 1373 01:13:45,181 --> 01:13:47,703 Damn. But I saw... 1374 01:13:47,881 --> 01:13:52,006 like a big, fluffy linen closet at the end of the main hallway. 1375 01:13:52,115 --> 01:13:54,444 Yes. Big, fluffy linen closet is good. Okay. 1376 01:13:54,582 --> 01:13:56,979 Midnight? All right. Yeah. Okay. 1377 01:13:57,083 --> 01:13:59,173 Oh! 1378 01:14:00,917 --> 01:14:03,109 Gonna have sex with Cadence 1379 01:14:03,216 --> 01:14:06,273 Gonna have sex with Cadence 1380 01:14:06,383 --> 01:14:08,507 Whoo! Uh-huh. 1381 01:14:10,417 --> 01:14:12,405 Cadence Jesus! 1382 01:14:12,517 --> 01:14:14,846 You fuckin' stalker. 1383 01:14:14,983 --> 01:14:17,175 You're not a very stealthy thief. 1384 01:14:17,318 --> 01:14:19,840 Oh, really? Guess what, shit-brick, it's a wedding. 1385 01:14:19,985 --> 01:14:23,382 Everything's free. What do you want? 1386 01:14:24,586 --> 01:14:27,814 Well, Stifler, Jim's grandma doesn't approve of the wedding. 1387 01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:31,216 We're trying to run interference and, 1388 01:14:31,319 --> 01:14:34,080 reluctantly, I am asking for your help. 1389 01:14:34,187 --> 01:14:38,710 Hmm. Sorry, Finch-meister. I got plans with Cadence. 1390 01:14:38,821 --> 01:14:43,310 Stifler, maybe you could forget about your dick for one second and actually be useful. 1391 01:14:43,421 --> 01:14:46,046 [Slams Bottle Down] Fuck you, Finch. 1392 01:14:46,189 --> 01:14:48,586 You didn't eat shit, okay? 1393 01:14:48,688 --> 01:14:51,313 You didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week. 1394 01:14:51,489 --> 01:14:53,545 "Oh, wedding" this. "Suck my ass" that. 1395 01:14:53,689 --> 01:14:57,121 "I'm special. You're special." We're all just a bunch of special fuckers, aren't we? 1396 01:14:57,290 --> 01:15:00,347 Well, you know what? I'm a-gonna get laid, Finch-fucker. 1397 01:15:00,490 --> 01:15:02,478 And it's gonna be oh, so good. 1398 01:15:02,590 --> 01:15:04,487 It's gonna be like, "You like this shit, Mama?" 1399 01:15:04,590 --> 01:15:06,817 She's gonna be like, "Fuckin' right, doggy, give it to me. 1400 01:15:06,925 --> 01:15:09,516 Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow." 1401 01:15:09,624 --> 01:15:11,589 Like... [Sucking] 1402 01:15:11,691 --> 01:15:14,953 [Meowing, Sucking] 1403 01:15:16,392 --> 01:15:18,414 [Meowing, Sucking] 1404 01:15:19,525 --> 01:15:23,388 [Meows] You been here long? 1405 01:15:23,493 --> 01:15:25,287 [Sucking] 1406 01:15:25,426 --> 01:15:27,482 Oh, shit. 1407 01:15:29,994 --> 01:15:32,824 Yeah. Cadence, 1408 01:15:32,928 --> 01:15:34,984 it is my distinct pleasure to introduce you... 1409 01:15:35,095 --> 01:15:39,550 - To the real Steve Stifler. - Hi. 1410 01:15:39,628 --> 01:15:41,355 Hi. 1411 01:15:43,396 --> 01:15:46,692 Pumpkin. [Stammers] 1412 01:15:49,696 --> 01:15:52,025 You are quite the gentleman, Stifler. 1413 01:15:52,130 --> 01:15:53,958 You could have told me she was behind me. 1414 01:15:54,197 --> 01:15:54,228 [Skipped item nr. 1414] 1415 01:15:54,230 --> 01:15:58,127 Between Grandma and Stifler and Cadence. The cake. The cake! 1416 01:15:58,297 --> 01:16:03,195 I mean, are you kidding me? You know, I thought I had grown out of this... 1417 01:16:03,298 --> 01:16:07,024 sort of behavior, but I keep messing up. 1418 01:16:07,131 --> 01:16:09,028 These things keep happening to me. 1419 01:16:09,132 --> 01:16:11,597 And if I can't bring it together for one day, 1420 01:16:11,699 --> 01:16:14,460 how am I gonna hold it together for the rest of our lives? 1421 01:16:14,599 --> 01:16:16,791 I'm really afraid that this is how it's always gonna be. 1422 01:16:16,899 --> 01:16:19,888 Yeah, but you always manage to get yourself into serious shit, 1423 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:23,624 and somehow you always come out of it better than you went in. 1424 01:16:23,734 --> 01:16:26,859 I don't know how, but you do. Everything is gonna be fine. 1425 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:31,932 Yeah. Um, uh, you need to come into the kitchen right now. 1426 01:16:32,102 --> 01:16:35,296 There's... Yeah. Jesus, now what? 1427 01:16:38,702 --> 01:16:40,894 [Groans] 1428 01:16:41,002 --> 01:16:44,127 There is no way to remake all these in time, is there? 1429 01:16:44,236 --> 01:16:46,463 Something must have disrupted the power. 1430 01:16:46,603 --> 01:16:50,000 The compressors need time to reset after a power loss, or they overheat. 1431 01:16:50,104 --> 01:16:53,070 Essentially, it turns the refrigerator into an oven. 1432 01:16:53,204 --> 01:16:57,499 Stifler was in here earlier flipping switches. 1433 01:16:57,604 --> 01:16:59,728 Michelle, I am so sorry. 1434 01:17:01,605 --> 01:17:04,503 [Door Opens] Hey! 1435 01:17:08,005 --> 01:17:09,902 Ooh. Those flowers look hideous. 1436 01:17:10,005 --> 01:17:11,902 That's 'cause you killed them, Stifler. 1437 01:17:12,006 --> 01:17:14,733 You've ruined everything. 1438 01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:18,136 F... What are you talking about? 1439 01:17:18,240 --> 01:17:21,694 You obviously don't care about this wedding or anyone in it. 1440 01:17:23,907 --> 01:17:27,101 Cadence. 1441 01:17:29,008 --> 01:17:31,701 Jim? 1442 01:17:33,209 --> 01:17:35,606 Shit-brick, come on. 1443 01:17:41,343 --> 01:17:43,706 Maybe you should just leave, Stifler. 1444 01:17:48,244 --> 01:17:51,074 Fine. Adios. 1445 01:18:01,513 --> 01:18:03,740 Don't know why I'm still afraid 1446 01:18:03,846 --> 01:18:08,301 If you weren't real I would make you up 1447 01:18:08,414 --> 01:18:10,538 Now 1448 01:18:10,713 --> 01:18:12,974 I wish that I could follow through 1449 01:18:13,114 --> 01:18:16,342 I know that your love is true indeed 1450 01:18:16,447 --> 01:18:19,538 As the sea 1451 01:18:19,647 --> 01:18:21,908 But right now 1452 01:18:22,015 --> 01:18:26,709 Everything you want is wrong and right now 1453 01:18:26,815 --> 01:18:31,270 All your dreams are waking up and right now 1454 01:18:31,417 --> 01:18:34,542 I wish I could follow you 1455 01:18:37,117 --> 01:18:41,276 To the shore of 1456 01:18:41,418 --> 01:18:44,384 Freedom 1457 01:18:45,418 --> 01:18:48,316 Where no one lives 1458 01:18:50,852 --> 01:18:54,806 Run away tonight 1459 01:18:54,919 --> 01:18:56,952 Freedom 1460 01:18:56,953 --> 01:18:57,918 Freedom 1461 01:18:58,019 --> 01:19:01,281 Fuckers, it's not my fault! 1462 01:19:01,420 --> 01:19:04,113 I'm not an "intellectical'"Einstein. I'm not... 1463 01:19:05,920 --> 01:19:08,715 - Damn it.! - [Tires Squeal] 1464 01:19:10,254 --> 01:19:12,151 Everybody's got their problems 1465 01:19:12,254 --> 01:19:14,515 Everybody says the same thing to you Fuck! 1466 01:19:14,622 --> 01:19:17,144 It's just a matter how you solve them 1467 01:19:17,322 --> 01:19:20,447 And knowing you gotta change the things you've been through 1468 01:19:20,622 --> 01:19:23,053 I feel I've come to realize 1469 01:19:23,223 --> 01:19:25,780 How fast life can be compromised Hey, flower fuckers, you there? 1470 01:19:25,922 --> 01:19:28,683 Step back to see what's going on Zyskowski. 1471 01:19:28,823 --> 01:19:32,811 I can't believe part of me wanna say 1472 01:19:32,923 --> 01:19:35,616 'Cause I don't know if it's for sure 1473 01:19:35,724 --> 01:19:39,121 Suddenly, suddenly 1474 01:19:39,225 --> 01:19:41,452 I don't feel so insecure Hello? 1475 01:19:41,557 --> 01:19:44,717 [Continues] Are you awake? 1476 01:19:44,825 --> 01:19:48,950 Come on. Come on. Anybody awake? 1477 01:19:49,126 --> 01:19:51,318 Oh.! 1478 01:19:51,459 --> 01:19:54,050 - Are you Miss Zyskowski? - Who are you? 1479 01:19:54,227 --> 01:19:58,022 I'm the guy who just killed all the flowers for the Levenstein- band geek wedding. 1480 01:19:58,127 --> 01:20:01,116 - What? - Yeah, I'm that guy. 1481 01:20:01,227 --> 01:20:05,352 Now what I need you to do is drag your ass down to your little store, 1482 01:20:05,461 --> 01:20:07,426 gather up some flowers, slice 'em and dice 'em, 1483 01:20:07,529 --> 01:20:11,153 jam 'em all together and cart that crap down to the wedding. 1484 01:20:11,261 --> 01:20:13,385 Are you completely insane? 1485 01:20:13,529 --> 01:20:16,825 - You have no idea. - Even if I overlook the fact... 1486 01:20:16,929 --> 01:20:19,588 that this is the rudest thing I have ever encountered, 1487 01:20:19,730 --> 01:20:22,423 there is no time to redo all that work. 1488 01:20:22,563 --> 01:20:25,723 I had four assistants working two full days on that wedding. 1489 01:20:25,864 --> 01:20:27,761 I'm sorry. 1490 01:20:27,864 --> 01:20:30,091 It's impossible. 1491 01:20:31,231 --> 01:20:33,128 [Stifler Scoffs] 1492 01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:37,720 We don't quit at halftime, ma'am! 1493 01:20:37,831 --> 01:20:40,854 You don't score until you score! 1494 01:20:45,933 --> 01:20:47,921 That's the spirit, sweetheart. 1495 01:20:48,032 --> 01:20:51,986 Did you see the stylish kids in the riot 1496 01:20:52,134 --> 01:20:54,725 Shoveled up like muck Set the night on fire 1497 01:20:54,833 --> 01:20:58,061 Wombles bleed Truncheons and shields 1498 01:20:58,234 --> 01:21:00,791 You know I cherish you, my love [Stifler] Pick up the pace. 1499 01:21:00,934 --> 01:21:03,923 [Continues] You guys keep working this hard, we'll be able to beat the Wildcats. 1500 01:21:04,068 --> 01:21:06,693 You remember how tough they were last year. 1501 01:21:06,836 --> 01:21:08,994 Come on. Let's see some determination. 1502 01:21:09,136 --> 01:21:11,533 Determination.! 1503 01:21:11,636 --> 01:21:16,534 My love Oh, how I cherish you, my love 1504 01:21:16,637 --> 01:21:18,829 [Stifler] Come on. Keep working.! 1505 01:21:23,037 --> 01:21:25,594 Good, Connor. Very good. Good, DeBoer. 1506 01:21:25,738 --> 01:21:27,669 Really sucks. Go fix it. 1507 01:21:27,772 --> 01:21:31,726 Hey, party guy. Having a good time, huh? Can I get you a gin and tonic? 1508 01:21:31,838 --> 01:21:35,270 Ring! Hold on a second. Hello. [Laughs] Okay. 1509 01:21:35,439 --> 01:21:37,529 It's for you. It's "get to work, fucker." 1510 01:21:38,839 --> 01:21:41,862 We are gathered here today to join these two great people... 1511 01:21:41,973 --> 01:21:45,336 in a blessed union and bladdah, bladdah, bladdah and crap. 1512 01:21:45,440 --> 01:21:48,065 Coach, this is kinda gay. 1513 01:21:49,641 --> 01:21:52,300 Yeah, it is. 1514 01:21:53,641 --> 01:21:57,197 Good work. Hey, no problem. 1515 01:21:57,342 --> 01:21:59,239 So, you got a date for this thing? 1516 01:21:59,342 --> 01:22:01,239 Don't push it. Sorry. 1517 01:22:06,442 --> 01:22:08,373 Holy shit. 1518 01:22:08,476 --> 01:22:10,532 [Jim] How the hell did this happen? 1519 01:22:10,676 --> 01:22:12,698 It's a miracle. 1520 01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:14,775 Stifler. Save it, dickhead. I'm working. 1521 01:22:14,878 --> 01:22:17,844 Wombles bleed truncheons and shields 1522 01:22:17,944 --> 01:22:20,671 You know I cherish you, my love 1523 01:22:20,778 --> 01:22:24,869 You know I cherish you, my love 1524 01:22:26,245 --> 01:22:29,541 - You're an asshole. - I know. 1525 01:22:29,645 --> 01:22:31,769 You really are an asshole. 1526 01:22:32,879 --> 01:22:35,538 Thanks. [Clears Throat] 1527 01:22:37,046 --> 01:22:39,443 I don't do apologies so good. 1528 01:22:40,747 --> 01:22:43,235 Well, you get an "A" for effort. This is amazing. 1529 01:22:43,380 --> 01:22:45,504 [Laughs] Cool. 1530 01:22:45,648 --> 01:22:48,273 I was always kind of a "C" student. 1531 01:22:48,381 --> 01:22:50,903 So, did you do all this just to have sex with me... 1532 01:22:51,048 --> 01:22:53,275 or because you really care about the wedding? 1533 01:22:53,381 --> 01:22:55,539 Both. 1534 01:22:56,948 --> 01:22:59,743 And, uh... [Clears Throat] 1535 01:22:59,849 --> 01:23:01,746 [Mumbles] I like you. 1536 01:23:01,850 --> 01:23:03,509 What? 1537 01:23:05,251 --> 01:23:07,148 I like you. 1538 01:23:07,251 --> 01:23:09,739 Well, that's an honest answer. 1539 01:23:09,850 --> 01:23:11,781 I gotta go. 1540 01:23:17,552 --> 01:23:21,244 Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. 1541 01:23:21,352 --> 01:23:27,182 This is huge. It's... It's like watching monkeys use tools for the first time. 1542 01:23:27,286 --> 01:23:27,384 You still pissed about me and Cadence? 1543 01:23:27,386 --> 01:23:29,283 You still pissed about me and Cadence? 1544 01:23:29,386 --> 01:23:31,283 No. Let's see. 1545 01:23:31,387 --> 01:23:33,648 She wasn't into the heavy intellectual stuff. 1546 01:23:33,753 --> 01:23:36,446 She actually liked me being that imbecile. 1547 01:23:36,554 --> 01:23:40,645 No, no, somehow I think she's probably better off with you. 1548 01:23:40,754 --> 01:23:42,742 Thanks, shit-brick. 1549 01:23:44,755 --> 01:23:49,778 Ooh. Dick. Fucking hate not hating you. 1550 01:23:53,956 --> 01:23:56,353 I did fuck your mom. 1551 01:23:57,857 --> 01:23:59,754 Twice. 1552 01:23:59,856 --> 01:24:03,810 Ooh! That's better, fucker! [Knocking] 1553 01:24:05,390 --> 01:24:08,844 Oh. Whoa! Ready to go? 1554 01:24:08,957 --> 01:24:11,582 Um, the wedding's not for another hour. 1555 01:24:11,691 --> 01:24:13,713 No, I mean you and me. 1556 01:24:13,858 --> 01:24:15,846 [Gasps] Hold on. Hold on. 1557 01:24:15,992 --> 01:24:18,048 Do I still gotta do this bullshit meeting? 1558 01:24:18,193 --> 01:24:20,249 Stifler, you are not bailing on Jim. 1559 01:24:20,393 --> 01:24:23,120 Shit! Give me 10 minutes? 1560 01:24:27,060 --> 01:24:30,389 I'll meet you at the closet. The closet. 1561 01:24:37,262 --> 01:24:39,591 You wanted to see me, Michelle? 1562 01:24:39,695 --> 01:24:42,160 Oh! Okay, sit. 1563 01:24:44,563 --> 01:24:48,187 So, uh, Jim said that you've always kind ofbeen there for him... 1564 01:24:48,296 --> 01:24:51,421 when he needed you, so I thought maybe you could help me. 1565 01:24:51,563 --> 01:24:53,926 Jim said that? 1566 01:24:57,364 --> 01:24:59,295 What's, uh... What's the problem? 1567 01:24:59,464 --> 01:25:03,395 Okay. Well, I, uh... 1568 01:25:03,498 --> 01:25:05,463 I still can't get my vows right. 1569 01:25:05,565 --> 01:25:09,394 Oh. I haven't been this confused since I got my first period. 1570 01:25:09,499 --> 01:25:11,964 That's a very confusing time for any young lady. 1571 01:25:12,065 --> 01:25:15,894 You know, your body is going through, uh, changes. 1572 01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:20,227 Um, stuff coming out, stuff going in. 1573 01:25:20,367 --> 01:25:24,423 Oh, no. I need help with my vows, not my period. 1574 01:25:24,567 --> 01:25:26,691 Oh, your vows. Your vows. 1575 01:25:26,868 --> 01:25:30,663 Yes, uh, good. Um, go on. 1576 01:25:30,768 --> 01:25:33,290 Jim just wants a groomsmen's meeting before the wedding. 1577 01:25:33,402 --> 01:25:38,266 It shouldn't take long. Just don't let her talk to anyone. 1578 01:25:38,369 --> 01:25:40,596 Be careful. She's feisty. 1579 01:25:44,370 --> 01:25:46,358 Okay, let's go. 1580 01:25:46,470 --> 01:25:49,095 Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out here and meeting me. 1581 01:25:49,204 --> 01:25:52,227 I, um... I just have a couple of things I wanna say. 1582 01:25:52,371 --> 01:25:55,269 This sucks. 1583 01:25:58,205 --> 01:26:00,170 Did I say that out loud? 1584 01:26:02,172 --> 01:26:05,400 Keep going. It's good. 1585 01:26:05,505 --> 01:26:08,198 Now, I thought about what you said, Kev. 1586 01:26:08,306 --> 01:26:12,465 About, uh, about how my problems always seem to work out. 1587 01:26:12,573 --> 01:26:17,028 And I realized that the reason things always work out... 1588 01:26:17,107 --> 01:26:21,232 is because you guys have always been there to back me up. 1589 01:26:21,374 --> 01:26:23,271 Even you, Stifler. 1590 01:26:26,309 --> 01:26:28,604 For the first time in my life... 1591 01:26:28,708 --> 01:26:33,436 I actually feel like I can't mess anything up. 1592 01:26:33,575 --> 01:26:35,972 [Scoffs, Snickers] 1593 01:26:36,076 --> 01:26:38,564 Which is pretty amazing. 1594 01:26:38,709 --> 01:26:40,970 So, uh, 1595 01:26:41,076 --> 01:26:45,303 I-I guess I just wanted to say thank you. 1596 01:26:47,011 --> 01:26:50,567 Thanks. Yeah. Thanks? 1597 01:26:50,678 --> 01:26:52,973 This whole thing was about thanks? 1598 01:26:53,078 --> 01:26:55,373 Ooh! You're welcome, cock-block! 1599 01:26:58,679 --> 01:27:01,076 That was good, Jim. Real nice. 1600 01:27:01,180 --> 01:27:03,407 Let's get you married. Hmm? 1601 01:27:03,579 --> 01:27:05,635 Okay. 1602 01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:05,978 [Skipped item nr. 1602] 1603 01:27:05,980 --> 01:27:09,309 Love is very difficult to describe. 1604 01:27:09,414 --> 01:27:12,278 And I understand the angst. I mean, it's your wedding. 1605 01:27:12,381 --> 01:27:15,176 And it's natural. It's perfectly natural. 1606 01:27:15,281 --> 01:27:18,270 But it's impossible to describe a feeling. 1607 01:27:18,382 --> 01:27:21,576 Okay, first, nothing is impossible. 1608 01:27:21,682 --> 01:27:24,204 So, let's not focus on that. 1609 01:27:24,315 --> 01:27:29,872 Why do you think, Michelle, they call it "making love"? 1610 01:27:31,283 --> 01:27:34,010 I don't know. I just call it "boning." 1611 01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:37,878 Boning. 1612 01:27:38,017 --> 01:27:41,279 Well, when you're doing other things with Jim... 1613 01:27:41,385 --> 01:27:43,873 when you're not, um, boning... 1614 01:27:44,018 --> 01:27:45,983 how does he make you feel? 1615 01:27:47,518 --> 01:27:49,415 Horny, like I wanna bone. 1616 01:27:49,518 --> 01:27:52,382 But we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear. 1617 01:27:52,486 --> 01:27:54,417 Oh, you've never tried it? 1618 01:27:54,519 --> 01:27:58,473 I certainly have. I have. I've boned. 1619 01:27:58,587 --> 01:28:02,245 From sunrise right through brunch, on more than one occasion. 1620 01:28:02,387 --> 01:28:07,183 But boning aside, um, I think they call it "making love"... 1621 01:28:07,288 --> 01:28:10,584 because you have to make love work. 1622 01:28:12,189 --> 01:28:15,019 You know, it's about compromise and sacrifice. 1623 01:28:15,122 --> 01:28:17,417 And I thinkJim has sacrificed for you. 1624 01:28:17,522 --> 01:28:19,749 My God, he shaved his entire pubic region, 1625 01:28:19,888 --> 01:28:22,854 which would baffle most cultures around the world. 1626 01:28:22,989 --> 01:28:27,887 But he did it, and he did it for you. 1627 01:28:28,989 --> 01:28:33,148 You're right. Love isn't just a feeling. 1628 01:28:33,291 --> 01:28:35,279 It's shaving your balls. 1629 01:28:36,391 --> 01:28:38,016 Thanks, Dad. 1630 01:28:39,191 --> 01:28:43,213 I wouldn't get into too much detail on that. 1631 01:28:43,392 --> 01:28:45,516 Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. 1632 01:28:45,692 --> 01:28:47,589 Oh, yeah, excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. 1633 01:28:47,693 --> 01:28:50,386 Gonna have sex with Cadence Uh-huh. 1634 01:28:58,593 --> 01:29:02,991 You know, son, I think this is probably the right time to tell you that... 1635 01:29:04,695 --> 01:29:09,093 that... I know, Dad. 1636 01:29:18,930 --> 01:29:21,896 [Clattering] [Stifler] I can't see anything here. 1637 01:29:23,197 --> 01:29:25,094 [Clattering] 1638 01:29:25,197 --> 01:29:27,424 Oh, there you are. 1639 01:29:28,597 --> 01:29:32,255 Guys, what are you doing? Where's Jim's grandma? 1640 01:29:32,398 --> 01:29:34,659 The old bitch sucked. We had to ditch her. 1641 01:29:34,799 --> 01:29:36,821 You what? Don't worry. 1642 01:29:36,932 --> 01:29:40,228 We put her someplace no one will find her. [Clicks Tongue] 1643 01:29:40,332 --> 01:29:44,286 Cadence, where are you going? Oh, Mom. 1644 01:29:45,499 --> 01:29:48,624 [Stifler] Oh, baby. I'm so ready for this. 1645 01:29:48,733 --> 01:29:51,221 [Zipper Unzips] 1646 01:29:51,334 --> 01:29:54,924 Your body's not quite what I was expecting, but that's okay. 1647 01:29:55,100 --> 01:29:59,191 The Stif-man digs what's underneath. [Chuckles, Moans] 1648 01:29:59,301 --> 01:30:04,495 Oh, you are so beautiful. Oh, I just wanna... 1649 01:30:04,601 --> 01:30:06,759 [Both Gasp] 1650 01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:09,800 Stifler.! Granny.! 1651 01:30:09,902 --> 01:30:13,096 Granny? What? Focus! Focus! Focus! 1652 01:30:13,204 --> 01:30:16,227 Out... It's not what it looks like! 1653 01:30:16,337 --> 01:30:19,394 - [Groans] - Shut the fucking door! 1654 01:30:19,504 --> 01:30:22,595 You got it, champ. [Groans] 1655 01:30:22,737 --> 01:30:24,225 [Yells] [Clattering] 1656 01:30:24,404 --> 01:30:24,502 [Piano] 1657 01:30:24,504 --> 01:30:27,436 [Piano] 1658 01:30:36,105 --> 01:30:40,594 Feeling tired 1659 01:30:43,640 --> 01:30:46,333 By You're a hero. 1660 01:30:47,440 --> 01:30:49,905 Hey, pussy's pussy. 1661 01:30:50,007 --> 01:30:54,302 Look at the smile on my mother's face. The long day 1662 01:30:54,408 --> 01:30:57,203 Do you know how long she's been waiting for a day like this? 1663 01:30:57,341 --> 01:30:59,670 I can't imagine. 1664 01:30:59,809 --> 01:31:02,798 Is over 1665 01:31:05,642 --> 01:31:08,130 I couldn't be happier. Thank you. 1666 01:31:08,243 --> 01:31:10,640 The wind is gone 1667 01:31:10,743 --> 01:31:12,640 Don't. 1668 01:31:14,743 --> 01:31:17,470 Good luck. Thank you, sir. 1669 01:31:17,611 --> 01:31:21,235 Asleep at dawn 1670 01:31:22,612 --> 01:31:24,509 What made Grandma come around? [Continues] 1671 01:31:24,612 --> 01:31:26,702 Finch said Stifler talked to her. 1672 01:31:26,812 --> 01:31:29,403 Stifler? 1673 01:31:31,546 --> 01:31:33,443 Grandmother fucker. 1674 01:31:33,547 --> 01:31:36,104 You're a motherfucker. 1675 01:31:36,247 --> 01:31:40,542 Yes, I am. Oh, you son of a bitch. 1676 01:31:40,646 --> 01:31:45,169 [Jim] And I promise to love you for as long as I shall live. 1677 01:31:45,315 --> 01:31:49,212 Michelle, you are the one woman I want to be with... 1678 01:31:49,315 --> 01:31:51,974 and the woman I can't be without. 1679 01:31:52,115 --> 01:31:54,046 I love you. 1680 01:31:54,149 --> 01:31:55,909 I love you. 1681 01:31:59,717 --> 01:32:01,614 [Sniffs] 1682 01:32:11,818 --> 01:32:13,715 Jim, 1683 01:32:13,817 --> 01:32:17,839 I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. 1684 01:32:17,952 --> 01:32:20,179 And I realized something. 1685 01:32:20,319 --> 01:32:23,308 Love isn't just a feeling. 1686 01:32:23,419 --> 01:32:25,316 Love is something you do. 1687 01:32:26,819 --> 01:32:30,081 It's a dress, a visit to band camp. 1688 01:32:30,220 --> 01:32:33,414 A special haircut. 1689 01:32:33,520 --> 01:32:36,418 Jim, you've given me everything I've ever wanted. 1690 01:32:36,553 --> 01:32:39,018 And it is my solemn vow... 1691 01:32:39,155 --> 01:32:41,780 to give everything I am to you. 1692 01:32:56,122 --> 01:32:58,349 James Emanuel Levenstein... 1693 01:32:58,457 --> 01:33:00,354 and Michelle Anabeth Flaherty, 1694 01:33:00,457 --> 01:33:03,446 I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. 1695 01:33:03,557 --> 01:33:06,022 You may kiss the bride. 1696 01:33:24,026 --> 01:33:29,254 [Man] Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Jim and Michelle Levenstein onto the dance floor. 1697 01:33:29,360 --> 01:33:32,121 Just follow my lead. I'll try. 1698 01:33:44,829 --> 01:33:48,317 We were born before the wind 1699 01:33:51,463 --> 01:33:54,985 Also younger than the sun 1700 01:33:57,231 --> 01:34:01,287 Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic 1701 01:34:01,432 --> 01:34:03,488 I taught him that. 1702 01:34:04,632 --> 01:34:07,393 Jim, you learned to dance. 1703 01:34:07,532 --> 01:34:11,486 Hark, now hear the sailors cry 1704 01:34:13,633 --> 01:34:18,258 Smell the sea and feel the sky 1705 01:34:20,133 --> 01:34:26,362 Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic 1706 01:34:49,136 --> 01:34:53,033 Well, seems like everything worked out. Magnificently. 1707 01:34:53,137 --> 01:34:57,933 I feel a bit sad that tonight our little Michelle is going to be a woman. 1708 01:34:58,038 --> 01:35:01,696 Honey, you don't honestly believe that Michelle is still a... 1709 01:35:01,838 --> 01:35:05,428 Well, I'll tell you, Mary. I can't recall a single moment with either one of them... 1710 01:35:05,539 --> 01:35:07,766 that would make me think otherwise. 1711 01:35:07,874 --> 01:35:09,634 Thank you. See? 1712 01:35:09,740 --> 01:35:12,638 Whew! Whoa! I gotta hear it 1713 01:35:12,740 --> 01:35:16,899 I don't have to fear it and I 1714 01:35:17,040 --> 01:35:19,665 Wanna rock your gypsy soul 1715 01:35:19,774 --> 01:35:21,671 Hey, tough guy. 1716 01:35:21,774 --> 01:35:24,103 Stifler's mom. [Continues] 1717 01:35:25,642 --> 01:35:28,130 Well, we meet again. 1718 01:35:28,275 --> 01:35:31,105 I was curious. Didn't see you here. 1719 01:35:31,242 --> 01:35:33,707 I try to keep a low profile. 1720 01:35:33,843 --> 01:35:36,604 I never really did like these things anyway. 1721 01:35:36,743 --> 01:35:40,005 You know, this has actually made quite an impression on me. 1722 01:35:40,143 --> 01:35:42,973 I have something to look for in a woman now. 1723 01:35:43,078 --> 01:35:45,339 Well, if this is your idea of a proposal... 1724 01:35:45,444 --> 01:35:48,604 Finchy, you gotta know that I'm over you now. 1725 01:35:48,744 --> 01:35:51,141 And I'm over you. 1726 01:35:51,245 --> 01:35:54,767 But as they say, we will always have Paris. 1727 01:35:54,879 --> 01:35:57,071 And the pool table. And the car. 1728 01:35:57,246 --> 01:36:00,643 And the two-room suite I have upstairs. Come here. 1729 01:36:00,745 --> 01:36:06,143 And when that foghorn blows you know I will be coming home 1730 01:36:06,280 --> 01:36:09,405 Turned out better than I ever imagined. 1731 01:36:09,547 --> 01:36:13,239 How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy? 1732 01:36:13,348 --> 01:36:16,745 How did a little nympho like you turn into such a great girl? 1733 01:36:16,848 --> 01:36:19,746 I'm still a nympho. Oh, I'm still a perv. 1734 01:36:19,848 --> 01:36:24,143 I know. What's wrong with us? I don't have to fear it and I 1735 01:36:24,249 --> 01:36:27,805 Wanna rock your gypsy soul 1736 01:36:30,150 --> 01:36:33,048 Just like way back in the days of old [Mouthing Words] 1737 01:36:36,284 --> 01:36:36,349 [Skipped item nr. 1737] 1738 01:36:36,351 --> 01:36:41,249 And together we will float into the mystic 1739 01:36:41,384 --> 01:36:43,349 You know, Michelle, 1740 01:36:43,485 --> 01:36:46,939 to quote someone I've learned quite a bit from, 1741 01:36:47,051 --> 01:36:49,448 "I think you and I... 1742 01:36:49,552 --> 01:36:53,643 are a perfectly natural, normal thing." 1743 01:36:54,785 --> 01:36:57,046 Perfectly natural. 1744 01:36:57,152 --> 01:37:01,174 It's too late to start now 1745 01:37:06,288 --> 01:37:10,413 It's too late to start now 1746 01:37:15,256 --> 01:37:17,881 That's her. Holy shit, dude. 1747 01:37:18,055 --> 01:37:20,145 I told you this wedding would be worth it. 1748 01:37:20,289 --> 01:37:24,084 Oh, my goddess. My queen. My MI LF. Oh. 1749 01:37:24,190 --> 01:37:26,212 MILF. MILF. MILF. MILF. 1750 01:37:26,357 --> 01:37:28,254 MILF. MILF. 1751 01:37:42,492 --> 01:37:44,980 No way, bro! 1752 01:37:45,093 --> 01:37:48,547 Hey, you're not finished yet, are you, Finchy? 1753 01:37:48,693 --> 01:37:52,749 No, ma'am. Just getting started. 1754 01:37:52,893 --> 01:37:55,290 This guy is the fucking master. 1755 01:37:57,361 --> 01:37:59,258 - Oh, no. Oh, no! - Make it stop. Make it stop. 1756 01:37:59,361 --> 01:38:01,553 Make it stop. 1757 01:38:01,661 --> 01:38:04,594 [Finch] Oh, Stifler's mom. [Blowing Bubbles] 1758 01:38:04,594 --> 01:38:05,889 [Finch] Oh, Stifler's mom. [Blowing Bubbles] 1759 01:38:05,996 --> 01:38:09,893 This bed is on fire with passionate love 1760 01:38:09,995 --> 01:38:13,858 The neighbors complain about the noises above 1761 01:38:13,962 --> 01:38:18,417 But she only comes when she's on top 1762 01:38:22,163 --> 01:38:25,459 My therapist said not to see you no more 1763 01:38:25,564 --> 01:38:29,325 She said you're like a disease without any cure 1764 01:38:29,464 --> 01:38:33,452 She said I'm so obsessed that I've become a bore 1765 01:38:33,565 --> 01:38:35,621 Oh, no 1766 01:38:35,765 --> 01:38:37,992 Ah, you think you're so pretty 1767 01:38:38,099 --> 01:38:42,827 Laid 1768 01:38:42,966 --> 01:38:47,057 Laid 1769 01:38:47,166 --> 01:38:50,326 Laid 1770 01:38:55,700 --> 01:38:59,495 Caught your hand inside the till Slammed your fingers in the door 1771 01:38:59,601 --> 01:39:03,464 Fought with kitchen knives and skewers 1772 01:39:03,569 --> 01:39:07,500 Dress me up in women's clothes Messed around with gender roles 1773 01:39:07,602 --> 01:39:10,193 Dye my eyes and call me pretty 1774 01:39:10,303 --> 01:39:14,667 Laid 1775 01:39:14,770 --> 01:39:18,895 Laid 1776 01:39:19,004 --> 01:39:21,697 Laid 1777 01:39:26,071 --> 01:39:29,797 Moved out of the house so you moved next door 1778 01:39:29,972 --> 01:39:33,869 I locked you out You cut a hole in the wall 1779 01:39:33,972 --> 01:39:37,767 I found you sleeping next to me I thought I was alone 1780 01:39:37,873 --> 01:39:42,771 You're driving me crazy When are you coming home 1781 01:39:47,174 --> 01:39:51,128 Laid 1782 01:39:51,275 --> 01:39:58,764 Laid 1783 01:39:58,875 --> 01:40:02,966 Laid 1784 01:40:03,110 --> 01:40:07,064 Laid 1785 01:40:16,978 --> 01:40:19,876 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1786 01:40:19,978 --> 01:40:23,172 I'm looking like a fool again Whoa 1787 01:40:23,279 --> 01:40:25,676 Threw away my reputation 1788 01:40:25,779 --> 01:40:29,437 One more song for the radio station 1789 01:40:29,579 --> 01:40:32,477 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1790 01:40:32,580 --> 01:40:35,774 I'm looking like a fool again Whoa 1791 01:40:35,914 --> 01:40:37,811 Waking up on the bathroom floor 1792 01:40:37,914 --> 01:40:41,675 Pull myselfback together just to fall once more 1793 01:40:41,780 --> 01:40:44,769 My heart's beating out of my chest 1794 01:40:44,881 --> 01:40:47,676 And this town is making me sick 1795 01:40:47,781 --> 01:40:50,144 And every penny from my last paycheck 1796 01:40:50,283 --> 01:40:53,113 I've blown it on you 1797 01:40:54,182 --> 01:40:57,012 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1798 01:40:57,117 --> 01:41:00,345 I'm looking like a fool again Whoa 1799 01:41:00,484 --> 01:41:02,915 So go ahead and take a picture 1800 01:41:03,017 --> 01:41:06,006 And hang it up so you can tear me down 1801 01:41:06,117 --> 01:41:08,605 I don't care Whoa, whoa 1802 01:41:08,784 --> 01:41:11,750 'Cause I'm still here Whoa, whoa 1803 01:41:11,884 --> 01:41:14,816 And I've got nothing left to lose 1804 01:41:14,918 --> 01:41:19,282 With all the years I've wasted on you 1805 01:41:55,690 --> 01:41:58,383 Mom and Daddy's got the best cocaine 1806 01:41:58,490 --> 01:42:01,422 Ritalin's never gonna feel the same 1807 01:42:01,524 --> 01:42:04,183 Twenty-four hours on an empty brain 1808 01:42:04,291 --> 01:42:08,120 I got my finger on the trigger and you're in my way 1809 01:42:08,225 --> 01:42:11,123 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1810 01:42:11,225 --> 01:42:14,453 I'm looking like a fool again Whoa 1811 01:42:14,592 --> 01:42:16,989 Threw away my reputation 1812 01:42:17,092 --> 01:42:20,489 One more song for the radio station 1813 01:42:20,593 --> 01:42:23,491 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1814 01:42:23,593 --> 01:42:26,821 I'm looking like a fool again Whoa 1815 01:42:26,927 --> 01:42:29,757 I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa 1816 01:42:29,895 --> 01:42:32,224 I'm looking like a fool again