>> Announcer: TODAY ON AN ALL NEW "DR. PHIL"... >> THIS IS WHAT I WANT EVERY
PARENT TO SEE.
>> DON'T PUSH ME PUSH ME.
>> YOU JUST THREW SOMETHING AT
ME.
>> Announcer: PARENTS AND
TEENS BUTTING HEADS.
>> I'M NOT IN THE HEAD SPACE TO
DO JACK [BLEEP] WHEN YOU ASK ME.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IN
THE MATTER.
>> WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A CHOICE
IN THE MATTER?
HE'S JUST ASKING YOU TO BACK
OFF.
>> WHY CAN HE TELL ME TO BACK
OFF WHEN I'M PARENTING HIM?
>> YOU CALL THAT "PARENTING"?
♪ ♪
>> LET'S DO IT.
>> HAVE A GOOD SHOW, EVERYBODY.
HERE WE GO.
>> THIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO TALK
ABOUT HARD THINGS.
>> STAND BY, WE'LL COUNT YOU
DOWN.
>> TODAY IS GOING TO BE A
CHANGING DAY IN YOUR LIFE.
>> FIVE, FOUR...
>> I AM NOT GIVING UP ON YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Dr. Phil: WELL, MY GUEST
TODAY, TANYA, EMAILED ME ABOUT
HER 17-YEAR-OLD SON, LOGAN, WHO
SHE SAYS HAS BLACK OUTRAGES,
VIOLENT OUTBURSTS, AND IS
ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES.
SHE WAS INITIALLY SCHEDULED TO
FLY FROM CANADA TO L.A. BACK IN
MARCH TO MEET ME, THEN COVID-19
HIT AND COUNTRIES CLOSE THEIR
BORDERS AND DISCOURAGE THEIR
CITIZENS FROM TRAVELING.
WELL, RECENTLY, MY PRODUCER
CHECKED IN WITH TANYA, WHO SAID
QUARANTINE HAS CAUSED LOGAN TO
BECOME EVEN MORE AGGRESSIVE AND
OUT OF CONTROL.
SHE SAYS HE HAS PUNCHED FOUR NEW
HOLES IN HER WALLS, RUNAWAY, AND
PHYSICALLY ATTACKED HER.
IN THE MATTER OF ONE WEEK, SHE
HAS CALLED THE POLICE THREE
TIMES ON HER SON AND SAID SHE
HAS TO KEEP RECORDS OF HIS
VIOLENT OUTBURSTS.
HE WAS JUST A SAMPLE.
>> DID YOU JUST SPIT ON ME?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD, HIT ME.
I DARE YOU.
>> DON'T PUSH ME.
>> YOU JUST THREW SOMETHING AT
ME.
YOU ARE VIOLENT.
BACK AWAY NOW BEFORE I CALL THE
POLICE.
GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!
>> Dr. Phil: TANYA SAYS LOGAN
IS MORE DEFIANT AND, BECAUSE
HE'S OLDER, HE'S GETTING
STRONGER AND STRONGER.
AND IS REFUSING TO BACK DOWN.
SHE FEARS HER ONLY OPTION MAY BE
A DECISION NO PARENT WANTS TO
MAKE.
>> YOU ARE VIOLENT, YOU JUST
THREW SOMETHING AT ME, HIT ME
WITH IT, AND THEN SCARED YOUR
BROTHER AGAIN.
>> LOGAN'S BEHAVIOR IS SO OUT OF
CONTROL, I FEEL LIKE A PRISONER
IN MY OWN HOME.
IT'S SO BAD I'VE CONSIDERED
SENDING HIM TO A GROUP HOME
BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL HIM.
>> HIT ME, I DARE YOU.
>> WHEN HE WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL
HE STARTED ACTING OUT AND BEING
AGGRESSIVE.
HE WAS THROWING DESKS, SEWING
SCISSORS, AND PUNCHING HOLES IN
WALLS.
HE WOULD PUNCH OTHER KIDS IN THE
FACE AND THREATENED TO KILL
PEOPLE.
OVER THE YEARS IS AGGRESSIVE AND
VIOLENT BEHAVIORS HAVE GOTTEN
WORSE.
LOGAN STRUGGLES WITH MEDICAL
ISSUES.
HE'S BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD,
GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER,
OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER,
AND VIDEO GAME ADDICTION.
I CALL HIS MENTAL ILLNESSES AND
MOLOTOV COCKTAIL.
IT'S LIKE A PERFECT STORM.
LOGAN HAS A LOT OF TRIGGERS.
IF ASKING TO DO HIS CHORES OR
GET OFF THE VIDEO GAMES --
HE CAN BECOME PHYSICAL AND
VERBALLY ABUSIVE.
>> DON'T PUSH ME.
>> I DIDN'T PUSH YOU, I GOT YOU
OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
>> HE BERATES ME, AND HE PLAYS
RUGBY NOW, SO HE WILL TAKE HIS
SHOULDER AND USED HIS FULL BODY
WEIGHT THREW ME BACKWARDS.
HE'S PUNCHED MULTIPLE HOLES IN
THE WALLS OF MY HOUSE.
HE'S BROKEN FOUR DOORS IN THE
LAST SIX MONTHS ALONE.
HE HAS PUNCHED A DOUBLE PANE
GLASS WINDOW.
AS A MOTHER I AM AT THE POINT
WHERE I RESENT MY SON.
A LOT OF THIS IS HIS FAULT AND
HE NEEDS TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY.
>> MOTHER, YOU BETTER [BLEEP]
LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I'M NOT IN
THE [BLEEP] MOVE, PERIOD.
>> THAN YOU CAN LEAVE WHERE THE
COPS WILL HELP YOU DO SO.
>> I HAVE BEGGED THE POLICE TO
TAKE HIM AWAY AND THEY WANT
BECAUSE HE'S A MINOR.
I'M TERRIFIED EVERY DAY OF WHAT
WILL HAPPEN NEXT.
I'M AFRAID THAT IN A FIT OF RAGE
HE COULD KILL ME.
>> Dr. Phil: JOINING US
VIRTUALLY IS TANYA.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU AND I WANT
TO TALK TO THE MILLIONS OF
MOTHERS THAT ARE OUT THERE THAT
I RELATING TO WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING, BECAUSE THEY SAY THEY
HAVE A REALLY DEFIANT TEEN.
IN THIS SITUATION, TANYA, YOU
SAY THAT YOU'VE BEEN READY TO
SEND LOGAN TO A GROUP HOME, AND
THE POLICE TALK YOU OUT OF IT.
SO YOU ARE READY TO SAY, "I
CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."
>> YEAH, THIS WEEK I GAVE UP.
I BEGGED THEM TO TAKE IN.
THERE'S NOTHING TO DO ABOUT IT
ANYMORE.
AND THEY CONVINCE ME NOT TO
ENTER LET HIM BACK IN THE HOUSE.
>> SO YOU WANTED SOMEONE ELSE TO
TAKE OVER FOR YOU?
>> AT THIS POINT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE I CAN DO.
>> Dr. Phil: THIS ISN'T JUST A
RECENT THING THAT STARTED DURING
THE QUARANTINE.
IF WE LOOK AT A TIMELINE OF WHAT
HAS GONE ON WITH LOGAN, THIS HAS
STARTED BACK QUITE SOME TIME
AGO.
AT AGE 9 HE PUNCHED A CLASSMATE
AND DESTROYED PROPERTY SO HE HAD
TO BE HOMESCHOOLED.
THIS JUST CONTINUED ON.
AT 13, HE PUNCHED YOU.
AT 14, HE PUNCHED ANOTHER FAMILY
MEMBER.
HE WAS KICKED OUT OF CAMP, HE
SNUCK ELECTRONICS END.
AT AGE 15, HE PUNCHED TONYA
AGAIN, HAD TO GO TO THE POLICE
STATION.
HE BROKE A CLASSMATE'S NOSE, HE
STOLE MONEY.
THEN THEY STARTED DIAGNOSING
HIM.
"LET'S START LABELING THIS KID."
GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER,
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION, ADHD.
JUST LAST YEAR, HE PUSHED AND
BODY-CHECK TO YOU, THEN HE RAN
AWAY, AND THIS YEAR HE HAS
ATTACKED YOU, DESTROYED
PROPERLY.
THE POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED HOW
MANY TIMES?
>> THEY BEEN CALLED ALMOST 20
TIMES.
>> Dr. Phil: WHY DO YOU THINK
THIS IS HAPPENING?
>> I THINK LOGAN HAS A LOT OF
ANGER FROM HIS CHILDHOOD, AND I
KIND OF DETACHED AS A PARENT FOR
A FEW YEARS AND LET HIM GET AWAY
WITH A LOT, DIDN'T PUNISH A LOT,
SO I THINK HE'S BECOME VERY
ENTITLED, SPOILED, AND ANGRY
TOWARD ME.
>> Dr. Phil: SO YOU THINK YOU
CONTRIBUTED TO A LOT OF THIS, SO
WHY ARE YOU ASKING SOMEONE ELSE
TO FIX IT?
YOU RAN IT OFF INTO THE DITCH,
WHY ARE YOU ASKING SOMEONE TO
GET IT OUT OF THE DITCH?
♪ ♪
>> THE KID IS SITTING ON THE
FLOOR, HIS HEAD IS IN HIS HANDS,
AND HE IS SAYING, "WILL YOU JUST
LEAVE ME ALONE?"
AND YOU'RE SAYING, "THE ONLY
PLACE IN YOUR HOUSE YOU ARE
ALLOWED TO BE ALONE IS IN YOUR
ROOM."
REALLY?
WHAT ARE YOU, THE COPS?
>> AND LATER...
>> THERE ARE TIMES WHERE I WOULD
BECOME THIS STATE WHICH I WOULD
SEE AS A MONSTER INSIDE OF ME.
I HAVE PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, AND
EMOTIONALLY ABUSED PRETTY MUCH
EVERYBODY IN MY FAMILY.
>> WHAT ARE YOU SO ANGRY ABOUT?
♪ ♪ >> Dr. Phil: SO YOU THINK YOU CONTRIBUTED TO A LOT OF THIS, SO
WHY ARE YOU ASKING SOMEONE ELSE
TO FIX IT?
YOU RAN IT OFF IN THE DITCH, WHY
ARE YOU ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO
GET IT OUT OF THE DITCH?
>> BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
DO.
OBVIOUSLY WHAT I'M DOING ISN'T
WORKING.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU CAN DO THE
EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU HAVE
BEEN DOING.
HAVE YOU TRIED TO CHANGE YOUR
BEHAVIOR?
>> AT TAKING PARENTING CLASSES.
NOW WHEN I TRY TO PARENT HE
ATTACKS ME, AND THERE HE IS SO
MUCH BIGGER THAN ME.
>> Dr. Phil: WHAT DID YOU
LEARN?
>> TO STOP YELLING, WHICH I
DON'T DO ANYMORE.
WHICH IS A BIG ONE.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU STOP YELLING?
>> YES, FOR THE MOST PART.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU'VE SENT US A
LOT OF VIDEOS YOU THOUGHT WERE
EVIDENCE OF LOGAN'S BAD
BEHAVIOR, BUT I LOOKED AT BOTH
OF YOUR BEHAVIORS.
HERE IS A VIDEO OF LOGAN TELLING
HIS MOTHER, TANYA, THAT HE
WISHES TO BE LEFT ALONE.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR OPTIONS AT
THAT POINT, TANYA?
>> I CAN WALK AWAY, CONTINUE TO
ENGAGE THE ARGUMENT, ESCALATE
THE ARGUMENT.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU CAN BADGER
HIM OR YOU CAN SAY, "LISTEN, I
RESPECT YOUR RIGHT TO NEED SOME
SPACE RIGHT NOW, AND I'M GOING
TO ASK THE SAME THING AT TIMES,
SO I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU
AND EXPECT RECIPROCATION."
OR YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY AND
SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE BOTH NEED SOME TIME."
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY
CHOSE TO DO.
YOU SAY YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING,
TO PARENTING CLASSES.
>> I DON'T FEEL SAFE.
YOU'VE ALREADY SNAPPED AND
PUNCHED THE COUNTER.
I NEED YOU TO TAKE YOUR
MEDICATION AND GO TO YOUR ROOM
PLEASE.
>> I'M ASKING TO BE LEFT ALONE.
>> I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE --
>> I'M ASKING YOU TO [BLEEP]
LEAVE.
>> I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE IN
YOUR ROOM.
THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE IN THIS
HOUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO DO THIS.
SO PLEASE TAKE YOUR MEDICATION
AND GO THERE.
>> I WILL TAKE MY MEDICATION IF
YOU [BLEEP] LEAVE.
BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE HEAD
SPACE TO DO JACK [BLEEP] OF WHAT
YOU ASK ME.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IN
THE MATTER PAID THE SAFETY PLAN
IS YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM OR LEAVE
MY HOME.
>> MOTHER, YOU BETTER [BLEEP]
LISTEN TO ME, BECAUSE I'M NOT IN
THE [BLEEP] MOOD, PERIOD.
>> SO YOU CAN LEAVE, WHERE THE
COPS CAN HELP YOU DO SO.
YOU DESTROYING MY HOUSE IS NOT
AN OPTION, LOGAN.
I AM BEING, AND MAKING A
REASONABLE REQUEST.
YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR
MEDICATION.
>> Dr. Phil: YOUR VIDEO OF
THIS, YOU ARE SAYING, "I'M BEING
CALM."
BUT THE KID IS ASKING YOU, HE IS
SITTING ON THE FLOOR, HIS HEAD
IS IN YOUR HIS HANDS, AND HE IS
SAYING, "WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME
ALONE?
MY HEAD IS NOT ANY SPACE RIGHT
NOW."
AND YOU ARE SAYING, "THE ONLY
SPACE IN THIS HOUSE YOU'RE
ALLOWED TO BE ALONE IS IN YOUR
ROOM."
REALLY?
>> IT'S BECOME THAT WAY.
>> Dr. Phil: WHAT IS WRONG
WITH SIX SQUARE FEET IN THE
KITCHEN?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SIX SQUARE
FEET IN THE GARAGE?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SIX SQUARE
FEET IN THE BACKYARD?
WHAT ARE YOU, THE COPS?
>> HE'S WELCOME TO LEAVE THE
HOUSE AND GO TO THE GARAGE OR
THE BACKYARD, THAT WHEN HE STAYS
IN THE HOUSE HE DISTRESSED
PROPERTY.
HE ESCALATES --
>> Dr. Phil: THAT'S NOT WHAT
YOU SAID.
HE DIDN'T SAY, "YOU'RE ONLY
ALLOWED TO DESTROY PROPERTY IN
YOUR BEDROOM."
HE SAID, "YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO
BE ALONE IN YOUR ROOM."
DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME.
>> BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE
HEADSPACE TO DO JACK [BLEEP] OF
WHAT YOU ASK ME.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IN
THE MATTER.
>> Dr. Phil: WHY IS THAT?
WHY DOES HE NOT HAVE A CHOICE IN
THE MATTER?
HE'S 17 YEARS OLD, HE'S A YOUNG
MAN.
WHY DOES HE NOT HAVE A CHOICE IN
THE MATTER, ARE YOU A PRISON
GUARD?
>> IT'S BEEN THIS WAY FOR SO
LONG THAT WE'VE TAKEN AWAY HIS
RIGHT TO HAVE A CHOICE IN THE
MATTER.
>> Dr. Phil: REALLY?
DID THEY TELL YOU IN PARENTING
CLASS TO TELL YOUR 17-YEAR-OLD,
"YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE?"
IS THAT WHAT YOU GOT TOLD IN
PARENTING CLASS?
IF SO, I WANT THE NAME OF THE
PERSON THAT RAN THAT PARENTING
CLASS, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RUN
THEM OUT OF CANADA.
DID THEY TELL YOU THAT?
>> NO, THEY DID NOT.
>> YOU CANNOT SIT OUT HERE AND
THREATEN ME.
THAT IS NOT OKAY.
>> Dr. Phil: NOW, THIS, TO ME,
DOES NOT LOOK THREATENING.
THIS, TO ME, LOOKS LIKE YOU
STANDING OVER HIM, LORDING OVER
HIM, TELLING HIM HE HAS NO
CHOICES, AND THEN SAYING, "YOU
DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO THREATEN
ME."
HE IS JUST ASKING YOU TO BACK
OFF.
HE IS THE ONE BEING AN ADULT
HERE.
HE'S ASKING YOU TO BACK OFF.
AND YOU WON'T DO IT.
>> WHY DOES HE GET THE RIGHT TO
TELL ME TO BACK OFF WHEN I'M
PARENTING HIM?
>> YOU CALL THAT PARENTING?
YOU CONTINUED TO TAPE YOUR SON,
LOGAN, AS HE SAT ON THE FLOOR
FOR ONE MINUTE AND 21 SECONDS
TOTAL.
>> SO, BEFORE HE SAT ON THE
FLOOR, HE WAS DOING DISHES.
HE GOT ANGRY AND THREW THE PLATE
IN THE SINK AND IT SHATTERED AND
HE PUNCHED THE COUNTY.
THAT'S WHEN I STARTED FILMING.
>> Dr. Phil: THEN HE WENT AND
SAT DOWN BECAUSE HE CLEARLY WAS
OUT OF CONTROL.
HE CONTAINED HIMSELF AND SAT
DOWN, AND HE WENT AND STOOD OVER
HIM WITH A CAMERA AND SAID, "YOU
HAVE NO CONTROL, YOU DO WHAT I
TELL YOU TO DO, YOU DO IT RIGHT
NOW."
WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO
HAPPEN?
>> I WOULD HOPE WAS HOPING HE WE
HIS MEDICATION AND GO TO HIS ARM
AND FOLLOWED OUR SAFETY PLAN.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU THOUGHT, WITH
A HISTORY YOU HAVE WITH HIM, ALL
THE SUDDEN HE WAS GOING TO SAY,
"OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
HOW SILLY OF ME.
HAND ME THE PILLS, LET ME TAKE
THEM.
COULD I BRUSH HER HAIR?"
[LAUGHTER]
SPEAK I GUESS IT WAS STUPID.
>> Dr. Phil: COME ON, MOM.
YOU'RE THE ADULT.
COMING UP, TANYA SAYS THERE ARE
TWO SIDES TO HER 17-YEAR-OLD,
LOGAN.
ONE IS FILLED WITH
UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE, AND ONE
THAT IS, FRANKLY, ACCORDING TO
HER, SHE TOTALLY ADMITS THIS IS
A VERY CHARMING YOUNG MAN.
SO WHICH SIDE WILL I MEET?
WE'LL FIND OUT NEXT.
[APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES WHERE I
HAVE FELT LIKE THERE WAS A
MONSTER INSIDE OF ME.
>> I'M NOT IN THE HEADSPACE
RIGHT NOW TO DO JACK [BLEEP] OF
WHAT YOU ASKED ME.
>> YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR CHOICE,
YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR HOMEWORK.
THIS IS THREE DAYS IN THE ROW WE
ARE FIGHTING ABOUT THE SAME
THING, AND I'M SICK OF IT.
>> AND SHE JUST WON'T SHUT UP.
♪ ♪ >> WHEN IT COMES TO MY 17-YEAR-OLD SON, LOGAN, I FEEL
LIKE WE ARE THERE ARE DIFFERENT
SIDES.
THERE IS THE LOVING LOGAN, AND
THE MONSTER LOGAN WHO IS
UNCONTROLLABLE AND VIOLENT.
>> YOU JUST THREW SOMETHING AT
ME.
YOU ARE VIOLENT.
>> DON'T PUSH ME.
>> I DON'T TRUST HIM.
HE LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING.
HE'S A REAL CHARMER.
I HOPE DR. PHIL CAN SEE ALL OF
THIS AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE.
>> AND MY GUEST TODAY, TANYA, IS
A SINGLE MOM TO TWO BOYS AND
SAYS HER 17-YEAR-OLD SON, LOGAN,
HAS EXPLOSIVE RAGE AND LASHES
OUT VIOLENTLY.
LOGAN ADMITS TO HIS EXTREME
ANGER.
HE DOESN'T DENY IT.
BUT HE SAYS HE CAN'T ANTICIPATE
AN OUTBURST UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.
HE SAYS HE HAS A GENERAL FEAR OF
WHAT HE IS BECOMING.
HE DOESN'T LIKE IT ANY BETTER
THAN HIS MOTHER DOES.
HE FEELS I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT
CAN HELP.
>> DON'T PUSH ME.
>> BACK AWAY FROM ME NOW BEFORE
I CALL THE POLICE.
>> MY ENTIRE LIFE I'VE HAD A LOT
OF ANGER.
>> AND NOT IN THE HEADSPACE
RIGHT NOW TO DO JACK [BLEEP] OF
WHAT YOU ASK ME.
>> THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES WHERE I
FELT LIKE THERE WAS A MONSTER
INSIDE OF ME.
>> GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY
ROOM, MOM.
GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY ROOM.
>> BACK AWAY FROM ME, NOW.
>> I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ANGER
CONSTANTLY FILLING UP INSIDE ME
TO THE POINT WHERE I WILL
EXPLODE INTO A FIT OF RAGE.
>> WHY ARE YOU SITTING HERE
ARGUING?
>> BECAUSE IF I STARTED THE
ARGUMENT I WOULD HAVE PUNCHED
YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW.
>> AFTER A BIG OUTBURST I FEEL
EXTREMELY REMORSEFUL.
THE CYCLE STARTS OVER AGAIN.
MY MOTHER AT THIS POINT HAS
BECOME TERRIFIED OF ME.
I FEEL LIKE MY MOM INSTIGATES A
LOT OF SITES.
WE FIGHT CONSTANTLY.
MY MOM CAN BE VERY ANNOYING.
>> YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING MY
RULES, YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR
CHOICE, YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR
HOMEWORK, THIS IS THREE DAYS IN
A ROW WE ARE FIGHTING ABOUT THE
SAME THING, AND I'M SICK OF IT.
>> AND SHE JUST WON'T SHUT UP.
IT'S A MASSIVE TRIGGER WHEN MY
MOM TAKES MY ELECTRONICS AWAY.
>> CAN YOU COME HELP ME SWITCH
THE DOORS?
>> NO.
>> WHY NOT?
>> BECAUSE I'M BUSY.
>> MY MOM NEEDS TO HOW SHE'S
OVERCONTROLLING OF MY LIFE.
SHE NEEDS TO BACK OFF.
I KNOW I NEED A LOT OF HELP.
DR. PHIL IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT
CAN HELP ME AND MY FAMILY.
>> HAVE A GOOD [BLEEP] NIGHT.
>> Dr. Phil: JOIN JOINING US
VIRTUALLY IS LOGAN.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> IT'S HARD FOR ME RIGHT NOW.
>> Dr. Phil: WHAT IS HARD?
>> THERE'S ACTUALLY BEEN ONE
MAJOR INCIDENT WHERE WE HAVE
GOTTEN INTO AN ARGUMENT AND
GOTTEN PHYSICAL, SO I AM STILL
KIND OF RECOVERING FROM THAT.
>> Dr. Phil: YEAH.
SO, YOU SAY THAT THERE GETS TO A
POINT WHERE YOU BECOME KIND OF A
PASSENGER ON THIS RUNAWAY ANGER
TRAIN.
>> TRUE, THAT IS VERY TRUE,
ACTUALLY.
THERE ARE TIMES WHERE I WOULD
BECOME THIS STATE IN WHICH I
WOULD SEE AS A MONSTER INSIDE OF
ME.
AND I WOULD, AT THAT POINT, NOT
BE IN CONTROL.
I'D BASICALLY GO INTO A BLACKOUT
MOMENT WHERE I WOULDN'T REMEMBER
ANYTHING, BUT I HAVE PHYSICALLY,
VERBALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED
PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY IN MY
FAMILY.
>> Dr. Phil: SO, WHAT ARE YOU
SO ANGRY ABOUT?
>> THAT'S KIND OF HARD FOR ME TO
EXPLAIN.
I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT I'M
ANGRY ABOUT.
I'M NOT SURE IF I'M ANGRY ABOUT
CHORES, OR SOMETHING WAY BIGGER
THAN THAT.
>> Dr. Phil: LET'S ASSUME IT'S
NOT CHORES, BECAUSE YOUR
REACTION WOULD BE
DISPROPORTIONATE.
SO THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING
MORE GOING ON.
IF IT'S NOT THAT, WHAT COULD IT
BE?
>> IF IT'S NOT THAT, IT'S
PROBABLY THE FACT THAT MY MOTHER
LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING.
SHE LIES TO ME, SHE LIES TO MY
COUNSELORS ABOUT WHAT ACTUALLY
HAPPENS.
A LOT OF THE TIME SHE TALKS
ABOUT WHAT I DO INSTEAD OF
TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE WOULD
START MY ARGUMENTS AND SHE WOULD
START MY ANGER.
>> Dr. Phil: YOUR MOTHER AND I
HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT THAT
VERY THING.
MY POINT TO YOUR MOTHER WAS THAT
YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES,
AND THAT I THINK SHE IS
ESCALATING THINGS, PICKING THE
WRONG BATTLES, NOT BEING THE
ADULTS IN THE SITUATION, AND
EGGING THE SITUATION ON, AND
CAUSING A LOT OF THE CONFLICT BY
NOT GIVING YOU SOME SPACE AND
BACKING OFF.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS ALL YOUR
FAULT.
YOU'VE GOT THAT, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I THINK WE ARE BOTH
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
>> Dr. Phil: YEAH.
I WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT ANOTHER
VIDEO WHEN YOU ARE SIMPLY ASKING
HER TO LEAVE YOUR ROOM.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD
EXAMPLE OF WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
>> HAVE A GOOD [BLEEP] NIGHT.
>> BYE, LOGAN.
THAT'S ON RECORD.
>> RECORD YOURSELF FOR A [BLEEP]
DAY AND LEARN --
>> DON'T TOUCH ME, LOGAN.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING IN YOUR
ROOM FIRST.
EXCUSE ME.
>> NO, GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY
ROOM.
>> I NEED THE CORD FROM THE TV,
BECAUSE THERE'S NO COURT ON THE
TV FOR A REASON, AND YOU USED
YOUR CORD TO TURN ON --
I DON'T TRUST YOU.
>> GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY
ROOM, MOM.
>> BACK AWAY FROM ME, NOW.
>> THIS IS MY ROOM.
>> BACK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I
CALL THE POLICE.
YOU ARE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE,
BACK AWAY FROM ME NOW.
YOU CAN GET YOUR OWN SPACE WHEN
I GET MY ELECTRONICS.
STEVEN SERIOUSLY, LISTEN TO
THAT.
>> YOU ARE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE,
BACK AWAY FROM ME NOW.
YOU CAN GET YOUR SPACE WHEN I
GET MY ELECTRONICS.
>> Dr. Phil: DOES THAT SOUND A
LOT LIKE, "YES YOU ARE," "NO
YOU'RE NOT."
THAT'S LIKE TWO KIDS ON THE
PLAYGROUND.
"YOU'RE UGLY."
"NO, YOU'RE UGLY."
"NO, YOU ARE UGLY."
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, GUYS.
WHAT THE HELL?
>> Dr. Phil: THAT'S LIKE AN
EVERYDAY ARGUMENT IN OUR HOUSE,
BECAUSE LOGAN IS REALLY
RESTRICTED FROM ELECTRONICS,
AND --
>> Dr. Phil: YOU ARE MISSING
UP THE POINT.
IT'S NOT A LOT ABOUT
ELECTRONICS, IT'S ABOUT
INTERACTION PATTERNS.
DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M PLAYING
THIS TO TALK ABOUT A TV CARD?
TANYA SAYS HER 17-YEAR-OLD SON,
LOGAN'S, VIDEO GAME ADDICTION
HAS FORCED HER TO FILE
BANKRUPTCY, AND IT'S ALL FROM
CHARGES HE MADE ON HER
CREDIT CARD.
WE'LL ADD THAT TO THE MIX WHEN
THEY COME BACK.
[APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> YOU PLAYED FOR 41 HOURS ONE
WEEK.
THAT'S MORE THAN A FULL-TIME
JOB.
IF YOU TOOK THAT 41 HOURS AND
SPENT IT LEARNING SOME THINGS
ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW, ANGER
MANAGEMENT, RELATIONSHIP SKILLS,
IT MIGHT SERVE YOU BETTER DOWN
THE ROAD.
♪ ♪
>> I'VE BEEN PLAYING VIDEO GAMES
SINCE I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD.
THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY ESCAPE.
>> LOGAN WILL SPEND UP TO 12
HOURS A DAY OR MORE PLAYING
VIDEO GAMES.
>> I WILL ADMIT, I'M ADDICTED TO
VIDEO GAMES.
>> LOGAN ASKED LIKE A DRUG
ADDICT BUT HIS DRUG OF CHOICE IS
VIDEO GAMES.
BUT I'VE NOTICED OVER THE YEAR
IS THAT THE MORE HE PLAYS SOME
OF THEM ARE AGGRESSIVE HE
BECOMES.
>> ACTION MAKES ME CALM.
>> VIDEO GAME ADDICTION HAS
GOTTEN SO BAD THAT HE HAS STOLEN
MY CREDIT CARDS AND BUY THINGS
ON THE GAME.
OVER THE YEARS HE'S CHARGE
$5,000 ON MY CREDIT CARD WITH
VIDEO GAMES.
ALL THAT CREDIT CARD DEBT DID A
NUMBER ON MY FINANCES AND I WAS
FORCED TO FILE BANKRUPTCY THIS
YEAR.
>> Dr. Phil: I'VE BEEN TALKING
TO TONYA AND HER 17-YEAR-OLD
SON, LOGAN.
TONYA SAYS NOT ONLY IS HER SON
VIOLENT, ANGRY, AGGRESSIVE, BUT
HE'S ALSO ADDICTED TO
VIDEO GAMES.
ARE THESE AND ESCAPE FOR YOU,
LOGAN?
>> A LOT OF THE TIME,
VIDEO GAMES ARE AN ESCAPE FOR
ME.
FOR ME, JUST BEING ABLE TO PLAY
SOMETHING WHERE I CAN DO WHAT I
WANT IN THE GAME AND NOT HAVE
ANY CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS
HAS REALLY HELPED ME IN THE PAST
AND IN THE PRESENT.
BUT MY MOTHER, SHE LOOKS AT MY
ATTITUDE AND SHE LOOKS AT
VIDEO GAMES AS, "THIS IS THE
REASON WHY HE'S LIKE THIS."
>> Dr. Phil: I DON'T THINK
IT'S THE REASON YOU ARE LIKE
THIS, BUT THE PROBLEM WITH
SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN THE IN
VIDEO GAMES IS IT TAKES AWAY
FROM DEVELOPMENT IN THE REAL
WORLD.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH VIDEO GAMES.
ANYTHING IN MODERATION, I
SUPPOSE, CAN BE FUN AND
ENTERTAINING.
BUT WE LOOK AT YOUR VIDEO GAME
LOG FOR SEPTEMBER, TUESDAY THE
24TH, SEVEN HOURS AND
25 MINUTES, PLAYED FIVE HOURS
AND 55 MINUTES OVER SOME LIMIT
THAT HAS BEEN SET.
THE 23RD, NINE HOURS AND
55 MINUTES.
THEN WE GO TO THE 21ST, TEN
HOURS AND 35 MINUTES.
THEN IX HOURS AND 20 MINUTES.
I MEAN, YOU ARE SPENDING A LOT
OF TIME WHERE YOU ARE NOT DOING
THINGS THAT HAVE A CONSEQUENCE
IN THE REAL WORLD.
AGAIN, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH VIDEO GAMES.
I THINK THEY CAN BE FUN.
I'M NOT GOOD AT THEM, I DON'T DO
THEM VERY MUCH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH MY THUMBS.
THEY GET IN THE WAY.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT I SEE NO REASON YOU CAN'T
ENJOY VIDEO GAMES.
BUT YOU PLAYED FOR 41 HOURS ONE
WEEK.
THAT'S MORE THAN A FULL-TIME
JOB.
IF YOU TOOK THAT 41 HOURS AND
SPENT IT LEARNING SOME THINGS
ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW, ANGER
MANAGEMENT, RELATIONSHIP SKILLS,
SOMETHING THAT YOU COULD MARKET
IN LIFE, IT MIGHT SERVE YOU
BETTER DOWN THE ROAD.
BUT LOOK, I WANT TO APPEAL TO
Y'ALL'S GREED.
YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T HAVE A NICE
RIDE THROUGH LIFE HERSELF.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT.
I DON'T NEED TO GO INTO A LOT OF
DETAIL.
BUT SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP AS YOUR
MOTHER ON A SATIN PILLOW.
>> YEAH.
IT'S BECAUSE SHE HAD A PRETTY
ROUGH RIDE.
TANYA, I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT
THAT.
YOU GUYS ARE IN THIS TOGETHER,
SO YOU HAVE TO DECIDE, LOOK,
WE'RE EITHER GOING TO BLOW
THINGS UP IN THIS FAMILY IS
GOING TO FRAGMENT, OR WE ARE
GOING TO DECIDE, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
LETS SIT DOWN AND GET OUT OF
EACH OTHER'S WAY AND FIGURE OUT
HOW WE CAN STAY TOGETHER AND
HANG TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.
"YOU HAVE A CHOICE HERE
SOMEONE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND BE
THE HERO IN THIS SITUATION.
>> I HAVE MULTIPLE TIMES TOLD MY
MOM THAT WE NEED TO COME
FACE-TO-FACE AND TALK ABOUT
THIS.
EVERY TIME I'VE SAID THAT,
THOUGH, SHE HAS, LIKE, PUT IT
ASIDE MULTIPLE TIMES.
TO THE POINT WHERE SHE FORGETS
ABOUT IT, AND THEN I TRY AND
REMIND HER, AND SHE'S LIKE, "I
NEVER AGREED TO THAT."
>> Dr. Phil: YOU EVEN COME UP
WITH STRATEGIES TO HELP CONTROL
YOUR ANGER, RIGHT?
>> YEAH.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU HAVE FIVE
THINGS YOU DO SOMETIMES WHEN YOU
FEEL THE ANGER COMING ON.
WHAT ARE THEY, FOR EXAMPLE?
>> IT'S THE FIVE SENSES.
FIVE THINGS I CAN SEE, FOR
THINGS I CAN SMELL, THREE THINGS
I CAN TOUCH, TWO THINGS I CAN
HEAR, AND ONE THING I CAN TASTE.
>> Dr. Phil: RIGHT.
MOM, YOU'VE GOT A YOUNG MAN HERE
WHO IS OBVIOUSLY INTELLIGENT,
AND HE IS A WILLING SPIRIT.
BUT YOU TWO NEED TO WORK AS A
UNIT HERE, AND YOU'VE GOT A
SECOND SON THAT'S INVOLVED, AND
HE'S PROBABLY THE BIGGEST VICTIM
IN THIS WHOLE EQUATION.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Dr. Phil: BECAUSE HE'S
GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE
CROSS FIRE.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT NEXT.
[APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> THERE IS NO QUESTION THAT HE
HAS ATTACKED YOU, AND, LOGAN,
YOU SHOULD NEVER PUT YOUR HAND
ON A WOMAN IN ANGER WHETHER IT'S
YOUR MOTHER, A DATE, A TEACHER,
A WOMAN FOR ANY REASON IN ANY
WAY.
THAT IS A COWARDLY CHICKEN
[BLEEP] THING TO DO, AND DON'T
YOU EVER DO THAT IN YOUR LIFE
AGAIN, EVER.
[APPLAUSE]
BUT TANYA, I'VE SEEN THE VIDEOS
OF YOU PROVOKING THIS SITUATION.
STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM AND OWN
YOUR ROLE IN THIS.
♪ ♪
>> LOGAN HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER
NAMED PAXTON.
>> I FEEL LIKE I'M A GOOD
BROTHER TO PAXTON.
I WILL HELP THEM OUT WHENEVER
POSSIBLE.
>> HE WORSHIPS LOGAN, HE LOOKS
UP TO HIM IN EVERY WAY.
HE'S GROWN UP IN THIS CHAOS.
>> DON'T PUSH ME.
>> MY WORST FEAR IS COMING TRUE.
PAXTON IS STARTING TO BEHAVE
JUST LIKE LOGAN.
>> HE'LL START WITH SWEARING,
HE'LL TELL ME TO [BLEEP] OFF,
SHUT UP.
>> HE'LL PUSH ME, SCREAM IN MY
FACE, SLAM DOORS.
MIMICKING ALL OF LOGAN'S
BEHAVIORS.
WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHAT'S GOING
ON, IT'S COMPLETELY
OVERWHELMING.
I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN.
>> Dr. Phil: TANYA SETS HER
17-YEAR-OLD SON, LOGAN'S, ANGER
IS SO SEVERE IT'S RUBBING OFF ON
HIS YOUNGER BROTHER, PAXTON, WHO
STARTED ACTING OUT VIOLENTLY
HIMSELF.
HERE ARE SOME EXCERPTS FROM
LOGAN'S BROTHER'S IEP
ASSESSMENT, WHICH IS A SCHOOL
ASSESSMENT.
ON MARCH 14TH OF 2019, PUNCHED
ANOTHER STUDENT IN THE CHEST.
MAY 13TH, PUT ANOTHER STUDENT IN
THE HEADLOCK.
THE 16TH, PUSHED ANOTHER STUDENT
OUTSIDE ON THE PLAYGROUND.
PUSHED ANOTHER STUDENT AGAIN, AT
THE WALL IN ANGER.
YOU KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING?
PEOPLE TURNED TO VIOLENCE WHEN
THEY RUN OUT OF SOCIALLY
ACCEPTABLE WAYS TO EXPRESS
THEMSELVES.
YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE
HAPPENING IF THE MODEL AT HOME
WAS CALM PROBLEM SOLVING?
YOU HAVE THE ABILITY AND YOU
HAVE THE CHOICE TO DO THAT, BUT
INSTEAD YOU HAVE GOTTEN INTO A
PATTERN, A RHYTHM, OF BICKERING
BACK AND FORTH.
AND YOU'RE NOT CHOOSING YOUR
BATTLES.
>> I'M TIRED OF SITTING BACK AND
TAKING IT, SO I'M FIGHTING BACK
NOW.
>> Dr. Phil: SO YOU'RE THE
VICTIM IN THIS WHOLE THING?
>> I'M NOT THE ONLY VICTIM, BUT
I AM ONE OF THE VICTIMS IN THIS
PROCESS.
>> Dr. Phil: WHERE IS THE
ADULT IN THIS SITUATION, MOM?
'S BECAUSE SHE CHECKED OUT ABOUT
A YEAR AGO WHEN SHE GOT TIRED OF
HER SON HITTING HER, SWEARING AT
HER, AND CONTROLLING HER ALLOWS.
>> Dr. Phil: THAT'S NOT AN
OPTION.
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS NOT FOR A
MONTH, NOT FOR A YEAR, BUT
"UNTIL."
LOGAN, LOOK, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH
NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT TO START
MAKING SOME MORE MATURE
DECISIONS.
YOU CAN GET PISSED OFF AT THE
WORLD, CAKE HOLES IN THE WALL,
HIDE IN VIDEO GAMES AND ALL
THAT, BUT THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO
PAY THE PRICE FOR IT.
IT'S TIME THAT YOU GROW UP AND
STOP ACTING LIKE AN INSOLENT
TEENAGER.
>> I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN TRYING TO
MATURE A LOT, AND I HAVE MATURED
A LOT.
MY MOTHER ALSO POINTS OUT A LOT
OF THE TIME THAT I NEED TO
MATURE A LOT.
AT THE SAME TIME, MAYBE
2 MINUTES LATER, SHE WOULD
IMMEDIATELY TURN AROUND AND
START TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD.
>> HE'S PHYSICALLY ATTACKED ME
THREE TIMES THIS WEEK.
HOW IS THAT MATURING IN ANY WAY,
SHAPE, OR FORM?
YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME THREE
TIMES THIS WEEK.
>> Dr. Phil: TANYA, TANYA,
TANYA PAID HE CAN'T KEEP PLAYING
THE VICTIM HERE.
THERE IS NO QUESTION THAT HE HAS
ATTACKED YOU, AND LOGAN, YOU
SHOULD NEVER PUT YOUR HAND ON A
WOMAN IN ANGER, WHETHER IT'S
YOUR MOTHER, A DATE, A TEACHER,
A WOMAN, FOR ANY REASON, IN ANY
WAY.
THAT IS A COWARDLY CHICKEN
[BLEEP] THING TO DO, AND DON'T
YOU EVER DO THAT IN YOUR LIFE
AGAIN, EVER.
BUT, TANYA, I'VE SEEN THE VIDEOS
OF YOU PROVOKING THIS SITUATION.
STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM AND OWN
YOUR ROLE IN THIS.
THE TWO OF YOU ARE IN THIS
TOGETHER.
I'M NOT EXCUSING HIM, I'M JUST
SAYING YOU HAVE TO OWN YOUR PART
OF IT.
>> IF YOU ASK ME WHAT THE THREE
INCIDENTS ARE THIS WEEK, I
WASN'T "COMBATIVE" WITH HIM.
ONE TIME I UNPLUGGED THE
INTERNET SO HE COULDN'T USE IT,
AND THAT WAS ENOUGH TO CAUSE HIM
TO LICK NEARLY LOCK ME OUT OF MY
HOUSE, CHARGE ME IN THE HALL
THEY COME MY HAND WHILE I WAS
DIALING 911.
>> YOU MISSED THE OTHER HALF OF
THAT BEFORE YOU UNPLUG THE
INTERNET.
>> AND ASKED YOU TO GO TO BED?
>> I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT.
I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU LITERALLY
CONSTANTLY YELLING AT ME,
SAYING, "I NEED TO SEE YOU DOING
YOUR HOMEWORK."
>> BECAUSE YOU FAIL DOMINIC ARE
FEELING WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU
WERE GETTING As AND YOU'RE
ONLY TAKING TWO CLASSES RIGHT
NOW.
>> YOU PULLED ME OUT OF SCHOOL,
THAT WAS THE BIGGEST DROP IN MY
GRADES.
>> THAT'S A LINE YOU KNOW IT.
>> IT'S NOT A LIE.
>> I PULLED YOU OUT OF SCHOOL?
HE REFUSED TO GET UP IN THE
MORNING.
I CAN'T DRAG YOU OUT OF BED,
THAT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.
AND I TOLD YOU ON TUESDAY --
>> Dr. Phil: THAT'S 5 MINUTES
OF MY LIFE I'LL NEVER GET BACK.
[LAUGHTER]
TANYA COME YOU JUST WANT TO BE
RIGHT, SO I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
YOU ARE RIGHT.
OKAY?
YOU ARE RIGHT --
>> I'M NOT SAYING I HAVE NO
RESPONSIBILITY.
>> Dr. Phil: YOU ARE A RIGHT
FIGHTER AND YOU WANT TO BE
RIGHT, SO YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE VICTIM AND YOUR
PARENTING IS A-1, YOU'VE DONE
EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO, THERE'S
NOTHING TO CHANGE, YOUR FAMILY
IS DOOMED.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO TELL
YOU OR DO YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT
I'M SAYING?
>> NO, I WANT HIM TO STOP LYING.
>> Dr. Phil: AND HE WANTS YOU
TO STOP LYING.
I WANT YOU TO BOTH STOP LYING TO
YOURSELF.
I WANT YOU TO BOTH GROW UP AND
FUNCTION AT A HIGHER LEVEL OF
INTERACTION THEN WHAT YOU ARE
DOING.
HELL, IF NOTHING ELSE, BOND
AGAINST ME.
THE TWO OF YOU CAN DISCONNECT
AND SAY, "WHAT AN ASS HE IS, OH,
MY GOD."
[LAUGHTER]
THEN YOU CAN BOND AGAINST ME.
THE TWO OF YOU CAN CHOOSE TO
FUNCTION AT A HIGHER LEVEL.
I HAVE ANOTHER MESSAGE FOR
LOGAN, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
JUST STAND BY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
MAYBE.
[APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ >> Dr. Phil: WELL, I'M BACK WITH TANYA AND LOGAN.
I WASN'T SURE I WAS COMING BACK.
BECAUSE I THINK I'M TALKING TO
MYSELF.
SERIOUSLY, GUYS, WHAT I'M ASKING
YOU TO HEAR ME SAY IS THE TWO OF
YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND SAY,
"YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE ARE BOTH RIGHT FIGHTER'S AND
WE ARE GETTING READY TO BE SO
RIGHT THAT WE ARE GETTING READY
TO BE REALLY LONELY."
BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS
GETTING READY TO FRAGMET, IF
YOU DON'T SIT DOWN AND BROKE HER
A NEW.
LOGAN, GROW UP.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIVE IN THE
VIRTUAL WORLD.
IT DOESN'T PAY VERY WELL.
MOM, THERE IS NO WINDOW WHERE
YOU GO AND SAY, "I QUIT."
HE IS HERE, HE IS A WILLING
YOUNG MAN.
DO YOU NOT GET THAT?
>> THIS IS AN ACT.
YOU THINK YOU'RE THE FIRST
PERSON HE SMILED AND SAID HE'S
GOING TO APPLY CHANGE WITH?
>> Dr. Phil: I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM SMILE SINCE HE GOT HERE.
>> THIS IS WHAT HE DOES.
THAT THING HE JUST SAID WHAT HE
USES THOSE "TECHNIQUES," THE
FIVE SENSES TO CALM HIMSELF
DOWN, HE DOESN'T DO THAT AT
HOME.
HE'S LYING.
>> Dr. Phil: DO YOU THINK HE
HAS CHARMED ME WHEN I'M TELLING
HIM TO GROW UP AND STOP ACTING
LIKE A CHILD AND HIDING IN
VIDEO GAMES?
DO I SEEM CHARMED TO YOU?
DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE HAS SWEPT
ME OFF MY FEET?
>> NO.
>> Dr. Phil: OKAY.
I'LL ADD SOMEONE ELSE INTO THE
CONVERSATION FOR JUST A FEW
MINUTES.
WHO, LIKE LOGAN, HAS FACED A
GAMING ADDICTION.
AND I DO THINK IT'S AN
ADDICTION.
AS A FULL-TIME JOB, 40 HOURS A
WEEK PLUS.
BETWEEN THE AGES OF 13 AND 17
YEARS OLD, MY NEXT GUEST SAID HE
WOULD SKIP SCHOOL, SELF-ISOLATE,
SPEND 16 HOURS A DAY ON HIS
COMPUTER.
AT 17, EXACTLY LOGAN'S AGE.
HE SAID HE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND
HE TURNED TO SELF-HELP
ROLE MODELS, AND HE DECIDED WHAT
I'M SAYING TO LOGAN, TO GROW UP
AND MAKE A CHANGE.
HE IS NOW A LIFE COACH, VERY
SUCCESSFUL.
HE'S GOT 60 MILLION VIEWS ON HIS
YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
ORIGINALLY FROM CANADA, BUT
JOINING US FROM HONOLULU,
BECAUSE HE IS VERY SUCCESSFUL.
JOINING IS VIRTUALLY, STEFAN.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAN?
>> GREAT, THANKS FOR HAVING ME
HERE.
STEALING YOU'VE BEEN THERE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?
>> LOGAN, I CAN RELATE TO A LOT
OF YOUR STORY.
FOR ME, VIDEO GAMES WAS A WAY TO
ESCAPE, AS WELL.
ENTER INTO THIS FANTASY WORLD
BECAUSE I FELT SO INSIGNIFICANT
IN MY LIFE.
I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I HAD
CONTROL, ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY
LIFE, AS WELL.
I WASN'T GOOD AT SCHOOL, I USED
TO SKIP SCHOOL A LOT TO AVOID
BEING AROUND PEOPLE.
I LINKED IN A LOT OF PAIN TO
THAT.
VIDEO GAMES WAS THAT OUTLET FOR
ME TO BE SOMEBODY, HAVE A SENSE
OF COMPETENCE IN MY LIFE.
ULTIMATELY IT LED ME TO AVOIDING
THE ISSUES THAT I HAD GOING ON
IN MY LIFE.
FOR ME, IT ALL CHANGED WHEN I
WAS ABLE TO BE HONEST WITH
MYSELF, LOOK MYSELF IN THE
MIRROR AND SAY, "I DON'T WANT TO
LIVE MY LIFE THIS WAY."
YOU CAN KIND OF SEE WHERE THIS
IS GOING.
IF YOU CAN BE HONEST AND REALLY
ASK YOURSELF, WHERE IS MY LIFE
GOING TO BE A YEAR FROM NOW,
FIVE YEARS FROM NOW?
IF I CONTINUE THIS BEHAVIOR, NOT
ONLY WITH VIDEO GAMES BUT YOUR
ANGER AND THINGS LIKE THAT,
THAT'S GOING TO CONTINUE TO
GROW.
YEARS FROM NOW YOU'LL BE IN A
MUCH WORSE OFF POSITION.
YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY RIGHT
NOW, YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE FUTURE
AHEAD OF YOU.
IT'S THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE
RIGHT NOW TODAY THAT SHAPE WHERE
YOU'RE GOING TO BE A YEAR FROM
NOW, FIVE YEARS FROM NOW, TEN
YEARS FROM NOW.
TAKE ON THAT CHALLENGE OF THAT,
AND FOR ME THE OUTLET WAS
SELF-IMPROVEMENT.
I DISCOVERED THIS WORLD OF
IMPROVING MYSELF, AND IT'S VERY
EXCITING FOR ME.
I KIND OF LOOKED AT MY LIFE LIKE
A VIDEO GAME VIDEO GAME.
VIDEO GAMES, YOU HAVE THIS
CHARACTER, YOU LEVEL UP AND GAIN
EXPERIENCE, AND YOU GROW.
THE WAY YOU GO WITH THEIR
EXPERIENCES, THROUGH ADVERSITY
AND CHALLENGES.
IF YOU REFRAME THE SITUATION
RIGHT NOW WITH YOUR MOTHER, YOUR
LIFE, THE CHALLENGES YOU HAVE,
AND EMBRACE THOSE CHALLENGES AS
AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO LEVEL
UP, THAT'S GOING TO PROVIDE
REAL-WORLD BENEFITS YOUR FUTURE
AND YOUR LIFE, MUCH MORE THAN
THE FANTASY OF VIDEO GAMES.
♪ ♪
>> Dr. Phil: YOU ALSO HAVE A
DUTY HERE BECAUSE YOU HAVE
YOUNGER BROTHER WHO LOOKS UP TO
YOU, LOGAN.
YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO
REFRAME THINGS FOR HIM, AS WELL.
HE CAN EITHER GO DOWN A PATH OF
REALLY BECOMING A PARIAH AT
SCHOOL, WHERE NOBODY WANTS TO BE
HIS FRIEND, NOBODY WANTS HIM IN
CLASS, AND HE BECOMES ISOLATED
BECAUSE HE IS VIOLENT, OR YOU
CAN SIT DOWN AND SAY, "HEY,
LISTEN, I HAVEN'T BEEN A VERY
GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR YOU, AND I
NEED TO BE A BETTER BROTHER AND
A BETTER FRIEND."
"LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT."
AND SEE IF YOU CAN HELP HIM.
STEFAN WAS VERY MUCH IN YOUR
SITUATION, AND HE'S AGREED TO
STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOU AFTER THE
SHOW AND OFFERED TO MENTOR YOU
INTO HOW YOU CAN TAKE THESE
APPRECIABLE SKILLS YOU HAVE AND
USE THEM IN A WAY THAT CAN
REALLY PAY OFF FOR YOU.
>> THAT WOULD BE EXTREMELY
HELPFUL FOR ME.
>> Dr. Phil: STEFAN, I
THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT.
TANYA, I'M TELLING YOU, IF YOU
WILL BACK OFF SOME AND LET SOME
OF THESE THINGS UNFOLD, I THINK
YOU MAY FIND THAT THIS IMPROVES
MORE THAN YOU MIGHT GIVE IT
CREDIT FOR.
YOU ARE OVER PARENTING,
ACTUALLY.
YOU ARE SAYING, "I'M DONE, I'VE
GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO," BUT YOU
ARE OVER ENGAGING.
I WANT YOU TO PICK YOUR BATTLES
DIFFERENTLY AND SEE WHERE WE
ARE, UNDERSTANDING THAT I'M
GOING TO BRING SOME HELP YOUR
WAY, AS WELL.
>> THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.
>> Dr. Phil: GIVE THIS A
CHANCE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RIGHT, YOU
WANT TO BE HAPPY.
WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT LITTLE
BROTHER COMES OUT OF THIS WITH
HIS FUTURE INTACT, NOT A
CASUALTY OF YOU TWO BEING AT
WAR.
WE ARE OUT OF TIME.
I WANT TO THANK ALL MY GUESTS
TODAY, AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO
STEFAN JAMES.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT
TODAY'S SHOW, LOG ONTO
DrPhil.com.
YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK,
TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, AND I WANT
TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT
WHAT WE'VE DISCUSSED TODAY.
DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO
ROBIN'S PODCAST,
"I'VE GOT A SECRET."
SHE TALKS ABOUT EVERYTHING
THERE.
THERE'S NOTHING OFF LIMITS.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING
THEY WON'T TALK ABOUT.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
STAY SAFE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪