PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...
BETTE AND I ARE REGISTERED WITH THREE DIFFERENT AGENCIES,
AND THEY SAID THE CHANCE OF US GETTING A BABY
IS REALLY GOOD.
WHAT? WHOA...
TELL ME YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN.
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
OOH, GIRL, LOOK, WHAT YOU GOT!
NEXT TIME DYLAN MORELAND SENDS ME FLOWERS, KIT,
PLEASE, JUST DON'T ACCEPT THEM.
HELLO?
THE GIRL WHO WROTE THE LETTER,
THE ONE THAT YOU READ ON YOUR SHOW,
SHE'S IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE.
THE SOCIAL WORKER THINKS YOU COULD HELP.
JAMIE. HI. YEAH, THIS IS WEIRD.
WILL YOU JUST TALK TO HER?
HI.
I BET ALL THE BOYS USED TO LOVE YOU.
[LAUGHING]: YES, THEY DID.
[CROWD CHEERING]
THINK WE MADE A MISTAKE?
NO.
YOU'RE A GOOD KISSER.
SO ARE YOU...
SHANE JUST SAID JENNY WAS A GOOD KISSER.
EW! I CAN'T...
YOU'RE PREGNANT.
NO, I CAN'T BE PREGNANT.
I THOUGHT IF I WAS TAKING TESTOSTERONE,
I COULDN'T GET PREGNANT, OKAY? I WAS WRONG.
I CAN'T DO THIS, MAX.
I'M NOT READY.
THERE'S NO ESCAPING THEM.
OH, GOD, WELL, AT LEAST HERE
WE WON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH
SQUIRREL GRUNTS AND MONKEY SQUEALS.
THEY'RE STILL ON EACH OTHER.
LIKE WHITE ON RICE.
[STAMMERS]
WHAT?
UH, YOU JUST GOSSIPED.
THAT WAS AN OBSERVATION. PLEASE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET DEFENSIVE.
WE'RE DEVELOPING SIMILAR INTERESTS.
HI.
HI! HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
HOW IS THE BEAUTIFUL MOTHER-TO-BE?
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
HE DOESN'T LIKE BEING REFERRED TO AS "MOTHER."
WHY?
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD THAT YOU'RE A MOTHER.
I'M NOT A MOTHER, OKAY, JENNY?
CAN YOU GET THAT?
OKAY.
JENNY, STOP IT.
STOP WHAT?
WHAT DID SHE DO?
I WAS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
I'M SIMPLY SAYING THAT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
YOU HAVE THESE BREASTS NOW, YOU KNOW?
YOU HAVE HIPS AND YOU'RE CURVACEOUS,
AND YOU'RE BECOMING WOMANLY NOW--
JENNY, JENNY, JENNY, JENNY...
I'M NOT TRYING TO BE INSULTING,
I'M JUST SAYING YOU SHOULD BE PROUD TO BE A MOTHER,
A BEAUTIFUL MOTHER.
YOU KNOW?
THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS,
MOST WOMEN LOOK TERRIBLE WHEN THEY'RE PREGNANT.
JENNY...
WHY IS SHE SO SENSITIVE?
YOU'RE REALLY UNBELIEVABLE.
HEY, ARE YOU CRYING?
I HATE HER.
I HATE IT, IT'S THESE FUCKING HORMONES!
I HATE THESE HORMONES!
I HATE THESE TITS, AND I HATE THESE FUCKING HIPS,
AND I HATE JENNY SCHECTER!
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
WELL, AT LEAST SOMEONE TALKED ABOUT IT.
I KNOW, WE WERE ALL KIND OF JUST IGNORING IT.
WELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE THAT BABY.
WELL, IT WAS TOO LATE NOT TO.
POOR MAX.
WHY THOUGH?
ABOUT A COUPLE MONTHS FROM NOW,
ALL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE ARE TWO GAY DADS,
AND THEY GET TO HAVE THE BABY TOGETHER.
I THINK HE KIND OF GETS TO HAVE IT ALL.
WHEN IS SHE DUE?
HE.
SEE, IT'S CONFUSING.
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GOING TO VEGAS?
LAUGHLIN, NEVADA.
TOMORROW MORNING.
WHAT'S IN LAUGHLIN, NEVADA?
[JENNY GASPS]
I KNOW WHO STOLE THE NEGATIVE.
YOU KNOW WHO STOLE THE NEGATIVE TO LEZ GIRLS?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, JENNY?
OH, MY GOD, I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY.
IT WAS WILLIAM
THAT STOLE THE NEGATIVE.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
WHY WOULD WILLIAM, WHO PRODUCED THE MOVIE,
STEAL THE NEGATIVE, OKAY?
HE'S ALREADY OUT, LIKE, $19 MILLION.
BECAUSE I OVERHEARD HIM HAVING THIS CONVERSATION,
AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
BURNING DOWN ONE OF HIS BUILDINGS
FOR INSURANCE REASONS.
IT WAS SO SHADY.
SO YOU'RE SAYING
HE FAKED THE WHOLE THING JUST TO MAKE AN INSURANCE CLAIM?
YES.
WELL, I KNOW HE WAS NERVOUS, BUT...
THAT'S EXTREME.
WELL, YES.
THERE'S KELLY.
WELL, IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE,
THEN YOU SHOULD PROCEED CAREFULLY.
SEE YOU AFTER.
[JENNY WHISPERS]: IT'S TRUE.
TINA, WHAT'S IN LAUGHLIN, NEVADA?
UM, A POTENTIAL BIRTH MOTHER.
REALLY?
WE HAD AN AMAZING CONVERSATION WITH HER ON THE PHONE.
SHE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE A BUNCH OF GAYS?
YUP, SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT US.
YEAH?
FANTASTIC.
THIS YOUR GAY GIRL HANG-OUT?
VERY QUAINT, BETTE.
EVERYONE, THIS IS KELLY.
HI!
KELLY, THIS IS EVERYONE.
HI. NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.
YOU REMEMBER TINA.
HI, KELLY.
HI.
WHO WAS THAT?
KELLY WENTWORTH.
SHE WAS GETTING HER UNDERGRAD AT YALE
WHEN BETTE WAS GETTING HER MFA.
ANYWAY, OUR BIRTH MOTHER,
SHE LIVES IN LAUGHLIN
AND, UM, SHE SEEMS PRETTY COOL.
SHE'S COMPLETELY OKAY WITH US BEING LESBIAN,
AND THE FATHER OF HER BABY IS AFRICAN-AMERICAN.
OH, THAT'S NICE.
THAT'S GREAT.
ANGIE WILL LOVE THAT THEN, RIGHT?
YEAH.
THAT'S NICE.
YOU'RE DOING SO WELL.
OH, SHUT UP.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, SHE'S GOSSIPED.
IT'S FANTASTIC.
SHE'S IN THE CONVERSATION.
COME ON...
[CHUCKLES]
TINA, WHY IS KELLY FREMONT HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS KELLY SOMETHING-ELSE.
WENTWORTH WAS HER MARRIED NAME,
BUT FREMONT WAS HER NAME WHEN SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.
AND SHE WAS A VIXEN.
DID THEY...
NO. NO, NO, NO. NOTHING.
NOT EVEN FIRST BASE.
I'M...
EXCUSE ME.
MY SISTER ALMOST KILLED HERSELF
OVER THAT B-I-T-C-H.
WHAT?
OH, MY GOD...
WHOA!
WHAT THE FUCK?
WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE TONIGHT?
WHAT, IS SHE A STALKER NOW?
YEAH.
SHE IS SO INSANE
IF SHE THINKS SHE'S GOING TO GET NEAR HELENA.
SHE IS INSANE.
UGH...
TINA...
SHE HAS A MEETING WITH YOU.
NO, I-I ACTUALLY
HAVE A MEETING WITH A FILMMAKE--
A FILMMAKER...
WOW...
[GASPING]
OH, MY GOD.
SHE SET ME UP.
THAT IS SO SLY.
WHOA.
BANQUET ROOM C...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THIS THING IS SO TIGHT.
IT'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
CAN'T YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM?
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING.
[VELCRO RIPS]
CONDITIONING THE TISSUES AROUND THE VAGINAL OPENING
PREPARES THE PERINEUM TO PERFORM.
SO, DADS, MAKE SURE YOU SCRUB YOUR HANDS
AND KEEP YOUR THUMBNAILS TRIMMED.
PROPPING HER AGAINST THE PILLOW,
SPREAD HER LEGS APART.
GO ON, TRY THE POSITION RIGHT NOW.
GOOD.
OKAY...
HERE.
YOU NEED TO COME AROUND IN FRONT HERE.
JUST RIGHT DOWN IN FRONT.
GOOD.
HOW YOU DOING?
GREAT.
OKAY, YOUR TURN.
COME ON IN FRONT.
DON'T BE SHY.
IN FRONT OF HER,
AND SPREAD HER LEGS APART.
SORRY, UM...
SPREAD THE LEGS WIDE.
YEAH, WIDER.
OKAY.
GOOD.
SO...
YOU CAN USE PURE VEGETABLE OIL,
OR A WATER-SOLUBLE LUBRICANT LIKE K-Y JELLY,
NOT A PETROLEUM-BASED OIL.
INSERT YOUR THUMB,
OR THUMBS, OR FINGER, WHICHEVER YOU PREFER,
AS DEEPLY AS YOU CAN
INSIDE HER VAGINA,
AND WHILE YOU MASSAGE,
HOOK YOUR THUMBS
ONTO THE SIDES OF THE VAGINAL CANAL,
AND GENTLY PULL THE TISSUES DOWN AND FORWARD.
JUST LIKE THIS.
SOME OF YOU MIGHT ALREADY KNOW
HOW MUCH PLEASURE THIS CAN GIVE HER.
[TITTERS FROM GROUP]
DEKE COLLECTED,
BUT IT WAS JUST AS AN INVESTMENT.
WELL, I HEARD YOU AND DEKE HAD QUITE A COLLECTION.
IT'S MY COLLECTION NOW.
[LAUGHING]
DO YOU KNOW THIS ARTIST, LIZ CRAFT?
SURE.
I PUT HER IN A SHOW WHEN I WAS AT CAC.
"PROVOCATIONS."
IT WAS HER FIRST MUSEUM SHOW.
IT'S AMAZING TO ME
THAT YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS PASSION,
AND YOU'VE JUST STAYED TRUE TO IT.
IT'S SOMETHING I-I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING A PART OF.
GOD, HAVING A SHITLOAD OF MONEY CERTAINLY HELPS.
SO WHY AN ART GALLERY?
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW I'VE ALWAYS LOVED
CONTEMPORARY ART.
I MEAN, GOING BACK TO YALE,
WHEN YOU T.A.'D FOR SCULLY'S CLASS?
YOU GAVE ME THAT, BETTE, YOU DID.
IT WAS A GIFT.
WELL, THAT'S NICE OF YOU TO SAY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU, TINA.
OH, IT'S TOO LATE, YOU ALREADY DID.
IF MY AGENT HAD GIVEN YOU MY REAL NAME,
YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE SEEN ME.
I'M NOT HERE LOOKING FOR A JOB.
WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING,
BECAUSE THE LAST PROJECT REALLY DIDN'T END SO WELL.
LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID.
YOU BELIEVED IN ME AS A DIRECTOR,
YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE,
AND I COMPLETELY BETRAYED YOUR TRUST.
I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT,
BUT...
I'M HERE BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
HELENA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
AND I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING
FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE WITH HER.
AND YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU?
NO, I CAN'T.
I'M SORRY, DYLAN, I CAN'T.
CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME TO ARTISTS
THAT YOU THINK ARE EXCITING?
BECAUSE I REALLY WANT PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTION
TO WHAT I'M CREATING HERE.
WELL, I DON'T THINK THAT YOU HAVE TROUBLE
GETTING PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU, KELLY.
THEN POINT ME TO WHO I SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW.
IT'S TAKEN ME 20 YEARS TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW.
I MEAN, YOU'VE BEEN AT THIS
WHAT, NINE MONTHS?
WELL, THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR HELP.
IT'S JUST SIMPLY NOT POSSIBLE.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS THING...
MM-HMM.
I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A PLAYER,
AND YOU REALLY WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
IN THE ART WORLD, I MEAN,
THE BEST WAY I CAN THINK OF
TO HELP YOU TO MAKE YOUR GALLERY A CONTENDER
IS IF...
I WERE TO COME AND WORK WITH YOU.
WHAT ABOUT C.U.?
I RESIGNED.
[LAUGHS]
WAIT A SECOND, THAT'S BIG NEWS.
WHY?
I LOVE THE ART WORLD, LIKE YOU SAID, AND, UH...
I THINK I JUST MISSED BEING IN THE TRENCHES.
AND SO YOU WANT TO COME WORK FOR ME?
[LAUGHS]
EXCUSE ME?
OH, NOT IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.
I MEAN, IF YOU THINK
THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU WON $50 MILLION IN SOME DIVORCE--
$89--
$89 MILLION.
PLEASE DON'T FORGET THAT.
WHATEVER.
IF YOU THINK THAT IN ANY WAY REMOTELY QUALIFIES YOU
TO BE MY BOSS,
WE COULD JUST AIR-KISS GOODBYE RIGHT NOW.
WHAT I'M OFFERING YOU...
IS TO BE YOUR PARTNER.
AND SHE SAID THAT YOU WERE THE LOVE OF HER LIFE.
LOVE OF HER LIFE?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
HELENA...
WHAT CAN WE OFFER YOU
IN THE WAY OF PROTECTION?
NOTHING.
I'M FINE.
LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN,
ALL OF YOU.
WELL, GO ON THEN.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SHE'S BEEN LIVING IN SAN FRANCISCO.
SHE MOVED BACK TO L.A.
BECAUSE HER DRAMATIC SHORT
GOT ACCEPTED INTO OUTFEST.
OH, THAT'S RICH.
SO SHE'S A GAY FILMMAKER NOW?
HERE'S HER CARD.
OH, MY...
"DO ASK, DO TELL PRODUCTIONS?"
OH, PLEASE...
IT'S LIKE SHE'S A BUZZARD,
AND SHE'S WAITING TO SWOOP DOWN
AND EAT WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR CARCASS.
LOVELY IMAGE, ALICE, THANK YOU.
GUYS, WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT SOMEONE
WE CAN SET HER UP WITH.
WHOA, NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT TO BE FIXED UP WITH ANYBODY.
SHH, WE'RE TRYING TO THINK, JUST...
JODI!
[ALL GROANING]: NO...
WHAT IS THIS, RECYCLING?
PLASTIC, PAPER, LESBIANS?
SOMEONE NEW, SOMEONE FRESH.
WHAT ABOUT JAMIE?
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE BRILLIANT.
MY GIRLFRIEND'S BRILLIANT.
OF COURSE SHE'S BRILLIANT!
TELL US, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
WHO'S JAMIE?
YOU GUYS, OKAY, THIS GIRL IS SO...
WE RECENTLY MET HER. SHE'S RAD.
WE WENT BOWLING WITH HER.
SHE'S THE DIRECTOR OF YOUTH AND FAMILY SERVICES
AT THE L.A. GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER.
AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.
YEAH, AND SHE'S VERY, VERY DEDICATED,
WHICH IS GREAT.
AND SHE'S SINGLE,
WHICH, WE KNOW, IS VERY RARE.
SO I SEE NOTHING WRONG.
I THINK WE SHOULD... I'M CALLING.
I'M GOING TO DO THIS THING.
OH, WAIT, NO, LET ME CALL HER.
NO, I'LL CALL. I GOT IT.
SUDDENLY, I DON'T HAVE A SAY IN THE MATTER?
NO.
SUCH A GOOD IDEA...
HEY, JAMIE, IT'S ALICE.
HI.
I KNOW. WE HAD A GOOD TIME, TOO.
WHEN I DROPPED THE BALL? I KNOW.
[LAUGHS]
UM, LISTEN, I'M AT THE PLANET WITH TASHA,
AND WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT THIS LITTLE IDEA
I WANTED TO RUN BY YOU.
YEAH, NO, SHE'S HERE.
YEAH. TASH...
SHE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING.
HELLO?
HEY.
[LAUGHS]
WHAT? WHAT?
NO, I...
NO, I'LL TOTALLY HELP YOU.
I WILL.
YEAH, FOR SURE. OKAY.
[LAUGHING]: YEAH!
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
NO, I'M GOING TO...
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU BACK TO ALICE.
OKAY, BYE.
SHE JUST BOUGHT A '56 NORTON DOMINATOR.
IT'S A MOTORCYCLE.
OKAY, SO, UM,
I WANT YOU TO SAY YES, OKAY,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO THANK ME AT YOUR WEDDING.
WE WANT TO SET YOU UP
WITH A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF OURS.
YEAH, HER NAME'S HELENA PEABODY.
THANKS.
YEAH.
NO, SHE'S IN THE SAME PLACE,
SO THAT'S PERFECT.
WHAT DO YOU...
GREAT!
OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO TOTALLY THANK ME.
OKAY, YOU'RE THE BEST.
WE'LL CALL, AND WE'LL ARRANGE, AND...
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
YES!
YEAH, GREAT.
WE SHOULD HAVE, LIKE, A DINNER.
YEAH, NO, DINNER.
OKAY.
NO, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE HER.
LOVE HER.
NO, I'M SURE I AM.
YOU TWO ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT HER.
DEFINITELY, I WILL.
YEAH, SHE'S SO COOL.
YEAH, SHE'S REALLY CHILL.
WONDERFUL.
IT'LL BE FUN.
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
THANK YOU.
OKAY, YOU GUYS.
YAY!
GOOD, GOOD...
I HAVE A REALLY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS...
NO, I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE
A LOT OF FUN.
[**]
OKAY, SO IT'S CALLED "CLUTTER-CLEARING," RIGHT,
AND THE CONCEPT IS THAT YOU CLEAR OUT
YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR LIFE,
AND IT'S A REALLY GOOD THING TO DO
WHEN YOU'RE STARTING A NEW PROJECT
OR A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
OR WHEN YOU WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR SHIT.
SO HERE YOU GO.
[SIGHS]
OKAY.
I THOUGHT THAT WE COULD START
IN MY CLOSET.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T THINK THERE'S TOO MUCH TO GET RID OF,
BUT I'M SURE THERE'S A FEW THINGS IN HERE
THAT I CAN STAND TO GET RID OF.
OKAY.
COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL HOLD YOUR BAG.
NO, NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO PARTICIPATE.
OH, COME ON--
IT'S SYMBOLIC.
IT'S ALL ABOUT MAKING CHOICES, SHANE.
OKAY?
I WILL START.
FOR EXAMPLE,
THIS REMINDS ME OF MY JEAN SEBERG LOOK,
WHICH I AM NOT THAT INTO ANYMORE.
I LIKE THE JEAN SEBERG LOOK.
I DID.
WELL, YOUR TURN.
OH, COME ON, THAT'S NOT MY PLACE.
OF COURSE IT'S YOUR PLACE!
JUST TELL ME WHAT REPRESENTS A FACET OF MY PERSONALITY
THAT I SHOULD JUST BE GETTING RID OF.
[LAUGHS IN DISBELIEF]
SHOULD I...
THAT'S A TRICKY QUESTION.
OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DO IT AGAIN.
OKAY, ME.
UM...
FOR EXAMPLE,
THESE REMIND ME OF TIM, RIGHT?
OF MY POST-COLLEGE MENTALITY.
WHEN I WAS STILL, YOU KNOW,
IN MY STUDENT WORLD, RIGHT?
IT WAS ALSO IN YOUR STRAIGHT MENTALITY.
OKAY, YOUR TURN.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
UM...
AH, HOW ABOUT THIS?
OH...
I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THIS, I REALLY DO.
WASN'T THIS DURING YOU'RE...
THE TIME YOU ELOPED?
OH, THAT REMINDS ME OF MARINA.
OH, JESUS, MARINA--
NO, SERIOUSLY, SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE.
AND NO ONE UNDERSTOOD WHY.
OKAY.
SERIOUSLY, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD GET RID OF--
AH, GOD...
I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHANGING PEOPLE.
PLEASE?
ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF THE WAY.
MOVE.
OH, MY...
YOU HAVE SO MUCH SHIT.
NOT REALLY--
I MEAN, YOU REALLY COULD GET RID OF HALF OF THIS
AND STILL HAVE SO MUCH MORE.
OH, THIS SHIT.
NO!
YOU NEVER USE THIS.
MY ART SUPPLIES! NO WAY!
DO YOU KNOW THAT ONE DAY,
A FOUNDATION IS GOING TO WANT
ALL THESE LITTLE BITS AND PIECES?
PICASSO, YOU HAVEN'T USED THESE
SINCE WE'VE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T START, OKAY?
LET'S PUT THESE BACK.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, WHAT ELSE?
THAT--
NO! I CAN'T--
OH, GOD. ALL RIGHT, OKAY...
THAT'S DESIGNER.
WHAT ELSE? COME ON--
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'M JUST NOT OKAY WITH IT.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
I THOUGHT WE GOT THROUGH THIS.
OH, YEAH, WE JUST SOARED OVER YOU
BLATANTLY FLIRTING WITH HER,
RIGHT INTO YOU INTRODUCING HER
AS YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER.
YOU KNOW WHAT, TINA,
I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
ON PROBATION.
I'M JUST NOT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE DON'T NEED ALL THAT.
I TOLD ANGIE THREE BOOKS AND THREE VIDEOS.
THREE BOOKS ISN'T ENOUGH.
YES, IT IS.
YOU KNOW SHE GOES THROUGH THREE BOOKS SO QUICKLY.
WHAT ABOUT HAMMY?
IT'S JUST ONE NIGHT, BETTE.
I'M SURE SHE'LL BE FINE.
I DON'T WANT HER TO MISS HIM.
OKAY, FINE.
YOU KNOW, I JUST...
I WISH YOU HAD TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT FIRST, THAT'S ALL.
I WOULD HAVE.
I JUST, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE IT.
IT JUST--
IT'S A HUGE DECISION,
YOU GETTING BACK INTO THE GALLERY BUSINESS.
I KNOW, BUT IT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THE MOST.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
IT'S JUST...
IT'S REALLY SCARY RIGHT NOW,
YOU KNOW, WITH THE HOUSE UNDER CONSTRUCTION,
AND MY JOB'S NOT EXACTLY SECURE.
THAT'S WHY IT COMES AS SUCH A GREAT TIME.
I MEAN, SHE'S GOING TO MAKE ME A PARTNER.
YOU SOUND LIKE IT'S ALREADY A DONE DEAL.
WELL, I'M HOPING IT IS.
I MEAN, THIS IS A BUSINESS DECISION, TINA.
YOU KNOW, AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT, THEN...
I SUGGEST YOU COME UP WITH A BETTER SOLUTION.
JENNY, I GAVE AWAY MOST OF MY STUFF LAST YEAR
WHEN I DONATED TO THE APLA.
OH, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
OKAY, SO...
OH, MY GOD.
THIS WAS FROM THAT HORRIBLE PAIGE ERA.
[GROANS]: YEAH...
ALL RIGHT, GET RID OF IT.
DROP IT.
HMM...
[CHUCKLES]
THIS BELONGS TO
THAT BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIFE,
BACK WHEN YOU WERE DATING HER.
WHAT'S HER NAME?
CHERIE JAFFE.
SHOULD BE EXPUNGED.
OH, WOW.
CARMEN.
NO. NO, NO.
NO, I DON'T... NO, UM...
NO, I WANT TO HAVE SOME SORT OF...
REMEMBRANCE OF HER,
HOWEVER SMALL.
WHY?
THAT'S THE OLD SHANE.
YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT COULDN'T HONOR HER COMMITMENTS.
YOU'RE NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
COME ON.
I'M NOT THROWING HER AWAY.
OKAY?
'KAY.
YOU KNOW, IF I WAS GOING TO START-UP MY OWN GALLERY,
I'D HAVE TO GO OUT AND GET A LOAN--
YOU COULDN'T GET A LOAN RIGHT NOW.
THERE'S NO WAY.
WE'RE MORTGAGED TO THE HILT.
BUT THAT'S MY POINT.
KELLY... KELLY WENTWORTH IS A GODSEND.
[SIGHS]
YOUR SISTER SAID
THAT YOU ALMOST KILLED YOURSELF OVER HER.
WHAT?
TAXI'S READY.
THAT'S A COMPLETE EXAGGERATION.
YOU KNOW, AND IT'S LIKE...
I DON'T KNOW, OVER 15 YEARS AGO.
WASN'T THERE SOMEBODY
THAT YOU WANTED TO KILL YOURSELF OVER
IN THE LAST 15 YEARS? I'M SURE THERE WAS.
MOMMY, THE TAXI.
PEOPLE, YOU WANT YOUR TAXI, OR WHAT?
YEAH.
WHERE'S YOUR TAXI?
OKAY, YOU GO WITH MAMA T, SWEETIE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
OKAY, WELL, I CAN ACTUALLY DO ALL THE SHOPPING.
THAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL.
HI.
SORRY I'M LATE.
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'M ACTUALLY RUNNING HOME,
SO I CAN LOOK UP THE INGREDIENTS,
AND THEN JUST GET WHAT WE NEED.
OKAY, I'M SUPER, SUPER EXCITED.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU VERY SOON.
BYE.
WOW.
HI.
HI! JAMIE'S, LIKE, WEIRDLY PERFECT.
YOU KNOW?
YEAH?
SHE'S GOING TO COME OVER EARLY TONIGHT,
AND WE'RE GOING TO COOK.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE, LIKE, A VEGETARIAN THING.
ISN'T THAT WEIRD, THOUGH, THAT WE'RE BOTH VEGETARIAN?
UH... YOU'RE NOT VEGETARIAN--
I HAVE BEEN EATING SO MANY VEGETABLES LATELY.
LIKE, EXTRA... VEGETABLES.
CUTE. WHAT ABOUT HELENA?
WHAT ABOUT HER?
SHE'S NOT VEGETARIAN.
NO, BUT NEITHER IS TASHA.
TRUE.
EVERYONE'S COMING OVER BECAUSE WE'RE ALL BROKE.
HELENA'S NOT BROKE.
BUT JAMIE'S NOT A GOLD-DIGGER LIKE DYLAN,
SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE NOT EATING OUT.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
IN FACT, I FEEL LIKE
SHE'S KIND OF THE MOST HONEST,
SELF-SACRIFICING PERSON
I'VE MET IN A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME.
I'M JUST SAYING,
SHE'S A NEW FRIEND, AND I'M EXCITED, AND...
I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT TONIGHT.
THAT'S ALL.
FOR YOU OR FOR HELENA?
WHY IS JENNY HERE? YOU DIDN'T TELL ME--
HEY!
UH... HEY.
HI. JUST FINISHED WRITING, SO...
I WAS GOING TO GRAB SOMETHING TO EAT
'CAUSE I'M STARVING.
DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
OH, SURE.
OKAY.
TOTALLY.
[WHISPERING]: SORRY.
HI.
[WHISPERING]: ARE YOU SMOKING?
[WHISPERS]: NO.
REALLY?
REALLY.
[BARKING]
OOH...
[GIGGLES]
SHH! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
DOWN. YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.
DOGGIE.
HE'S JUST DOING HIS JOB.
I'M REALLY SORRY IF HE SCARED YOU.
COME IN, PLEASE.
I WAS NEVER THIS THIRSTY WITH RYAN.
THEY'RE SO CUTE!
HERE YOU GO.
[SIGHING]
SO, YEAH, I HAVE NO IDEA...
[LOWERING VOICE]: I HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE RYAN'S FATHER IS.
I MEAN, WE WERE NEVER MARRIED,
OR ANYTHING,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S THE FATHER
OF RYAN'S BIGGER BROTHER, JACOB.
OH, SO YOU HAVE TWO CHILDREN?
YEAH, I KNOW.
[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]
BUT I MOVED BACK HOME AFTER I HAD RYAN,
AND MY MOM, YOU KNOW, SHE HELPS OUT WITH THE KIDS
WHILE I'M AT WORK AND STUFF.
SHE AND MY STEPDAD ARE ACTUALLY
JUST OUT WITH JACOB RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT, I, OBVIOUSLY, CAN'T REALLY AFFORD ANOTHER ONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK IT'S ADMIRABLE
WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO HELP YOUR FAMILY.
YEAH, BUT ALSO, UM,
MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS BABY'S FATHER,
[VOICE LOWERING]: 'CAUSE THEY WOULD FREAK.
OH... RIGHT.
WE-WE COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
SO I-I REALLY LOVED
THE PICTURES OF YOUR HOUSE THAT YOU SENT.
ALL THE ARTWORK AND STUFF, THAT'S AWESOME.
THANKS.
WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'RE BUILDING A SECOND STORY,
SO THE BABY CAN HAVE THEIR OWN BEDROOM.
OH, COOL.
AND, SORRY, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS IN THE MOVIE BUSINESS?
OH, I AM.
WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WORKED ON?
I MEAN, I'M REALLY INTO ALL THE PIXAR STUFF
'CAUSE OF THE LITTLE GUYS.
I'VE NEVER DONE A FAMILY MOVIE.
I'D LOVE TO.
IT WOULD BE GREAT.
ACTUALLY, I JUST DID A MOVIE
WITH NIKKI STEVENS.
REALLY?
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AWESOME!
I LOVE HER, SHE'S SO COOL.
DID YOU SEE BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA?
ANGIE LOVED THAT MOVIE.
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S SO WEIRD.
THAT WAS, LIKE, OUR FAVORITE MOVIE.
MY STEPDAD ACTUALLY CRIED A LITTLE BIT
WHEN THE GERMAN SHEPHERD GOT HIS SENSE OF SMELL BACK.
[LAUGHING]
BUT HE'S REALLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT,
SO DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
[CLEARS THROAT]
OKAY.
[DOG BARKING]
HI. I'M BETTE PORTER.
HI.
HI. TINA KENNARD.
HI, JAKEY!
YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE ADOPTION?
YES. WE ARE.
HE'S GOING TO PLAY WITH HIS BATMOBILE.
IS IT OKAY IF SHE GOES, TOO--
OH, YEAH. TOTALLY FINE.
SHE'S OKAY BACK THERE WITH THE BOYS.
SHE TOOK JAKE'S TOY
RIGHT OUT FROM UNDERNEATH HIM.
I'M SURE HE'LL BE FINE.
WHICH ONE OF YOU'S THE MOTHER?
WE BOTH ARE.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW THAT WORKS.
[CHUCKLING]
UH, WELL, TINA GAVE BIRTH TO HER.
REALLY?
OH... I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS YOU.
JUST MORE...
YEAH, I WOULD HAVE, TOO.
WELL, THAT'S WHY WE CHOSE
AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN DONOR
SO SHE'D LOOK LIKE BOTH OF US.
WELL, HOW DOES SHE LOOK LIKE HER?
COULD YOU STOP IT?
HEY, I'M WONDERING.
MARCI, IT'S OKAY.
ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER WITH THE FATHER?
NO.
HE WAS JUST A DONOR.
I ADOPTED ANGELICA FROM BIRTH.
OKAY, BUT Y-YOU'RE MARRIED.
WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
WE'D ALWAYS SAID
THAT WE WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER GETTING MARRIED
UNTIL THERE WERE FULL AND COMPLETE EQUAL RIGHTS
UNDER THE LAW.
IT SHOULD BE A FEDERAL LAW.
THAT'S WHAT WE BELIEVE,
AND IN SOME WAYS, I MEAN, HAVING SAID THAT,
I THINK THAT WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO IT.
UM, YOU KNOW, AND IF THIS LATEST
BALLOT MEASURE IS DEFEATED,
THEN I THINK AT THAT TIME,
WE WOULD PROBABLY THINK ABOUT--
SWEETIE...
WHETHER WE REALLY WANT TO...
I THINK SHE'S ASKING
IF YOU'RE MARRIED TO A MAN.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
MM-MM.
MOM, THEY'RE TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER.
LIKE, THEY'RE A COUPLE.
AND YOU KNEW THAT?
YEAH, IT'S MY CHOICE, MOM.
THE HELL IT IS!
YOU MOVE OUT OF HERE,
AND YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN KIDS,
THEN IT'S UP TO YOU.
I THINK IT'S TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU TO GO.
YOU SIT.
ANGIE?
ANGELICA, HONEY...
WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE, HAVE YOU TOLD TASHA THAT?
SHE'S GOING TO FREAK OUT.
THAT'S CRAZY.
YEAH, WELL,
I ONLY LASTED FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS.
MY DAD WAS PRETTY DISAPPOINTED.
WHAT, BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T STAY A COP?
WHY WAS HE...
WE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF COPS.
TWO OF MY BROTHERS SERVE.
SERVICE IS A BIG THING IN OUR FAMILY.
RIGHT, BUT YOU SERVE IN YOUR OWN WAY.
DEFINITELY.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I TELL HIM.
AND HE DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK WHAT YOU DO IS REALLY IMPORTANT, FOR SURE.
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE YOU SAVE AS MANY LIVES
AS ANY POLICE OFFICER DOES.
YOU SHOULD COME WORK AT THE CENTER.
THE KIDS REALLY ADMIRE YOU.
NO...
YOU COULD HELP SO MUCH.
NO, WHAT WOULD I DO?
JUST YOUR PRESENCE WOULD MEAN A LOT.
IF YOU EVER WANTED TO,
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE DO A WORKSHOP WITH THEM,
OR...
RIGHT.
[LAUGHS]
OH, AND, OF COURSE, THERE'S FUND-RAISING.
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO FUND-RAISING.
OH, MY GOD.
I HAVE NO MONEY RIGHT NOW TO GIVE.
BUT I DO HAVE RICH FRIENDS.
ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DO THOSE ONE BY ONE?
YEAH, WELL, I WAS GOING TO.
WHY?
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A TRICK.
IT'S A LITTLE TRICK.
WHAT, PUT 'EM AWAY?
[LAUGHING]
NO NUTS IN THE NUTLOAF?
[GRINDING]
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
WOW.
I MEAN, CLEARLY IT'S NOT AS FAST AS MY SYSTEM, BUT...
IT'S GOOD.
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
OH, HELENA IS...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, NO, NO, NO.
SHE IS GREAT.
YOU'RE GONNA...
DO NOT BE NERVOUS.
OKAY.
[**]
* THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING
* SAYING...
* LISTEN CLOSE AND YOU WILL LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR *
* THIS IS REALLY WHAT I'M SAYING *
* SAYING
* I'M STANDING HERE...
I JUST LOVE BOYS NIGHT!
I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL BOYS!
SO, WHAT PUT YOU OFF MEN, HONEY CHILD?
HUH, WHAT DIDN'T?
YOU GOT BURNED?
WELL, WHEN YOU...
WHEN YOU TANGLE WITH A MAN,
YOU GONNA GET BURNED, YOU KNOW?
MEN ARE FULL OF SHIT.
I JUST ENJOY
JUST HANGING OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS.
WHERE IS THAT GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS?
HELENA.
OH, WELL, SHE'S AT ALICE'S.
ALICE AND TASHA
ARE GOING TO TRY TO GET HER TO GET OVER
THIS DYLAN MORELAND.
DYLAN?
MM-HMM.
YEAH, SHE'S THIS NASTY BITCH THAT SHE MET
A FEW YEARS BACK.
WELL, IS YOUR LADY STILL HUNG UP ON THIS PERSON?
I HOPE NOT.
IT WOULD BREAK MY HEART.
HONEY...
ANYBODY MESSES WITH KIT PORTER'S HEART
IS GOING TO HAVE TO ANSWER TO SUNSET BOULEVARD,
AND THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I RECOMMEND.
WELL, YOU GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF.
YEAH, WE WERE SAYING IF YOU'RE INTO IT,
THE FOUR OF US COULD MAYBE GO
FOR A MIDNIGHT WALK TONIGHT.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
AS LONG AS IT'S NOT RUNYON CANYON.
YEAH, THAT PLACE REEKS OF DOG SHIT--
I LOVE RUNYON CANYON, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT.
AND IT'S ALWAYS OVERRUN WITH UNEMPLOYED ACTORS
AND GANGSTER MEMBERS.
HERE.
I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT IT'S OVER-CROWDED.
I JUST FALL IN LOVE EVERY TIME
WITH THAT INCREDIBLE VIEW.
YEAH...
HEY!
OKAY, SO, THIS IS HELENA PEABODY.
THIS IS JAMIE CHEN.
HI.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT'S A PLEASURE.
COOL.
SO WE MADE A NUTLOAF.
INCREDIBLE. IT'S LIKE MEATLOAF.
BUT IT'S NUTS. LOTS OF NUTS.
GREAT.
COOL!
[**]
YOU'RE GOING TO CALL ME, RIGHT?
OKAY.
ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?
YEAH, UM...
MAX, THIS IS GERARD. GERARD, MAX.
MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME, OKAY?
THAT'S RUDE.
HE WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY.
IT'S WHAT GUYS DO.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
I WOULD FEEL LIKE
YOU WERE A LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN BEING
WHO WASN'T TRYING TO PRETEND YOU DIDN'T NOTICE A HOT GUY.
HEY, GUYS...
HI, HANDSOME.
WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
MINERAL WATER.
OH.
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
JUST A FEW MORE MONTHS, RIGHT?
YEAH.
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT.
I BETTER GO.
OKAY.
TALK SOON.
I'M SORRY.
ALL THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO MY BODY,
AND THEY TOTALLY GO AGAINST HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF.
I GUESS I'M JUST A LITTLE SCARED, OKAY?
I JUST FEEL THINGS SO INTENSELY, IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING NUTS!
BUT I LOVE YOU, ALL RIGHT?
AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE A GREAT DAD,
AND I'M REALLY EXCITED TO START A FAMILY WITH YOU.
SORRY.
OH, I PICKED THAT OUTFIT OUT.
OH, MY GOSH, YOU WERE SO CUTE.
LOOK WHAT A LITTLE TOMBOY YOU WERE.
OH, YEAH, I WAS.
[LAUGHS]
AND LOOK HOW GIRLY SHE TURNED OUT.
I WANT TO HAVE A LOT OF KIDS.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WELL, YOU KNOW, I THINK ABOUT IT--
I THINK I WANT, LIKE, TWO OR THREE,
IF THINGS TURNED OUT THAT WAY.
YEAH...
SO YOU REALLY WANT KIDS, HUH?
AFTER YOU WORK WITH THEM ALL DAY?
OH, MY GOSH, YES, I LOVE THEM.
YOU DON'T WANT KIDS?
NO, I DO. I DO, I DO.
YEAH...
PROBABLY A LOT OF 'EM.
HELENA HAS KIDS.
SHE HAS A BOY AND A GIRL.
OH, YOU DO?
YEAH, I-I DON'T HAVE CUSTODY, THOUGH.
MY EX DOES, THEIR OTHER MOTHER.
BUT YOU SEE THEM?
YEAH, EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS.
SHE TOOK THEM AND MOVED TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.
YOU ONLY SEE YOUR CHILDREN
EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS?
THAT MUST BE REALLY HARD.
YEAH, BUT SHE WON THIS COURT RULING,
WHICH MY FAMILY SUPPORTED HER ON, SO...
GOD, I SOUND LIKE THE WORST MOTHER ON THE PLANET.
SCRABBLE?
IF YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS.
OH, PLEASE, AS IF.
ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK
I WANT TO PLAY A WORD GAME WITH YOU TWO.
LET'S PLAY MONOPOLY OR SOMETHING.
I LOVE MONOPOLY, TOO.
HELENA? MONOPOLY, SCRABBLE?
YOU KNOW WHAT, ACTUALLY, I-I CAN'T.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
IT'S OUR FIRST BOYS' NIGHT AT THE HIT BAR.
I SHOULD BE THERE, AND...
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,
THIS HAS BEEN... THIS HAS BEEN GREAT.
IT'S BEEN LOVELY, IT'S BEEN DELICIOUS--
DO YOU WANT TO TAKE SOME NUTLOAF TO GO?
I CAN WRAP SOME UP FOR YOU.
UH...
NO, I MEAN, IT WAS LOVELY, BUT I'LL PROBABLY...
I'LL...
IT WAS SO GOOD TO MEET YOU.
GOSH, IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
IT WAS REALLY NICE.
THANK YOU GUYS FOR ORGANIZING THIS.
IT WAS GREAT.
SEE YOU, TASHA.
BYE.
SHE'S A REALLY GREAT GIRL.
YEAH.
SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S GREAT...
YEAH, SHE'S NICE.
[LAUGHING]
ALL RIGHT, WE TRIED.
[**]
* ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
TONIGHT... *
YEAH, I GOT TO EDIT ANYWAY.
OKAY.
WELL, HAVE FUN...
OH! I'M SORRY...
I'M SORRY I WENT TO THE PLANET.
I-I-I JUST...
I'M AT A LOSS, HELENA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO.
HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN.
FUCK...
OKAY, LOOK, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE.
TA-DAH!
IT'S AN OFFICE!
I TURNED YOUR BEDROOM INTO AN OFFICE.
YOU WHAT?
WELL, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO HAVE AN OFFICE
SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WRITE IN THE KITCHEN,
AND NOW THAT WE'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER,
I JUST THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD ACTUALLY BE PERFECT.
NO.
COME ON, JUST THINK ABOUT
IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO TIPTOE AROUND ME LATE AT NIGHT.
ARE YOU TESTING ME?
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
ARE YOU-ARE YOU...
[STAMMERING]
I MEAN, ARE-ARE YOU PUTTING ON THE CRAZY JENNY SHOW
JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU CAN PUSH IT WITH ME?
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT?
I CAN CHANGE IT BACK.
WE ARE OBVIOUSLY IN DIFFERENT PLACES IN OUR LIVES--
I DON'T NEED YOU TO CHANGE THIS BACK,
I JUST ASK... THAT NEXT TIME
WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS
THAT YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.
OKAY. I'M JUST STUPID,
I'VE RUINED ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING--
WILL YOU STOP? STOP. DON'T--
DO ME A FAVOR,
DON'T GET MELODRAMATIC RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
PLEASE.
DO YOU HATE ME?
NO.
[BOX THUDS TO FLOOR]
DO YOU LOVE ME?
I DO.
I LOVE YOU.
I DO.
UH-HUH...
YEAH, IT'S THE ONLY PART OF MY JOB
THAT I KIND OF HATE,
BUT I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS,
AND I'M ALWAYS TRYING TO COME UP WITH
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
OH, YEAH, I KNOW,
I HATE FUND-RAISER DINNERS.
OH, RUBBER CHICKEN DINNERS.
I USED TO HAVE TO GO TO THEM
WHEN I USED TO BE IN THE SERVICE,
AND THE WORST PART IS THE ENTERTAINMENT.
UGH...
MY GRANDMA COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN THAT.
I KNOW!
I'M SERIOUS, SHE PROBABLY COULD.
[LAUGHING]
I WENT TO ONE IN COLLEGE
THAT WAS COOL.
I USED TO BE IN ACT UP.
DID I TELL YOU THAT?
YEAH,
AND IT WAS LIKE A DANCE MARATHON KIND OF THING.
IT WAS GOOD.
OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THAT IDEA.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS FUN.
YEAH BECAUSE WE HAVE THESE KIDS
THAT ARE, LIKE, AMAZING DANCERS
AT THE CENTER.
IS THAT SOMETHING WE COULD DO?
LIKE, I WOULDN'T HAVE THE FIRST IDEA
HOW TO GO ABOUT IT.
WELL, YOU JUST GET LIKE A COOL SPACE,
LIKE HIT OR SOMETHING.
IT WOULDN'T BE HARD.
YEAH....
SO...
SO, WHAT?
NO, I DON'T...
I'M JUST SAYING THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE REALLY GOOD AT THIS?
YEAH, YOU SEEM SO INTERESTED,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB, SO...
[CHUCKLING]
I DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING.
OH, COME ON, YOU WERE BORN TO DO THIS.
YOU'D MAKE A GREAT EVENT CHAIR.
PLEASE.
PLEASE? PLEASE? WILL YOU HELP ME?
WELL, I'LL HELP YOU.
OH, THANK YOU! YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL.
BUT YOU'RE HELPING.
I AM?
YES, YOU ARE.
OH, YES, YOU ARE, THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THIS IS GOING TO BE SO COOL.
YEAH, IT'LL BE GOOD.
TOTALLY.
WHY CAN'T A MAN JUST COME OUT AND SAY WHAT'S ON HIS MIND?
YOU TELL ME WHAT THAT WOULD SOUND LIKE TO YOU.
BACK IN THE DAY,
WHEN I WAS ALL MANNED UP,
AND-AND I WAS WAITING FOR SOMETHING GOOD,
I HAD THIS FANTASY.
SHARE, GIRLFRIEND.
I WAS SHOPPING AT GELSON'S FOR GROCERIES,
WHEN THIS STRAIGHT-UP...
BROTHER COMES UP TO ME.
OKAY.
NO BLING, NO ATTITUDE...
[SIGHS]
AND HE SAYS TO ME,
"YOU ARE ONE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
"AND I WOULD JUST LOVE TO WAKE UP
WITH YOUR ARMS AND LEGS WRAPPED AROUND ME."
MM, MM, MM...
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE SO PISSED AT ME.
I'M NOT PISSED, I'M JUST TIRED.
YOU LOOKED HOT AT THE CLUB.
ALL THESE GUYS WERE CHECKING YOU OUT.
GUYS WERE CHECKING YOU OUT, TOO.
YEAH.
THEY WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF I WAS PREGNANT
OR JUST FAT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S GETTING OLD, MAX.
YOU PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN ALL THE TIME.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL TRY NOT TO BE SO SELF-DEPRECATING.
15 MORE MINUTES, HONEY.
YEAH? OKAY.
CAN YOU HEAR ME? YEAH?
OKAY.
[SIGHING]
DON'T BE DISCOURAGED.
WE'RE STILL ON THE LIST.
I'M SURE WE'LL FIND A BABY
THAT'S MEANT TO BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY.
I'M JUST STUNNED BY THE IGNORANCE.
YEAH, WELL, WELCOME TO THE REST OF AMERICA.
I THINK MAYBE WE DODGED A BULLET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST...
I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT THE ADOPTION.
I JUST, YOU KNOW...
IT JUST FEELS LIKE THERE'S SO MANY THINGS
THAT ARE JUST OUT OF OUR CONTROL.
THAT'S HOW IT IS.
EVERYTHING'S OUT OF OUR CONTROL.
BUT EVERY BABY HAS A GENETIC IMPRINT.
YOU KNOW, WHETHER WE LIKE OR NOT,
AND THE FACT IS,
WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MARCI.
NOT REALLY.
WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS BABY'S FATHER,
AND WITH THAT FAMILY'S HISTORY,
I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE INVITING THAT INTO...
I DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSING ANGELICA
TO THAT WAY OF THINKING.
THIS WILL BE OUR BABY.
I THINK WE'LL HAVE A GREAT INFLUENCE ON ITS LIFE.
OF COURSE WE WILL.
I'M JUST TRYING TO TALK HONESTLY WITH YOU.
THIS IS JUST MY RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENED TODAY--
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WHO IS IT?
IT'S MARCI!
HI.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I WAS GOING TO CALL,
BUT I DIDN'T WANT BOB AND MY MOM TO HEAR, SO...
IT'S FINE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME IN?
COME SIT DOWN.
OKAY, YEAH. THANKS.
UH, I JUST WANTED TO...
UH, I JUST REALLY...
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
MY PARENTS DON'T APPROVE IT.
THEY DON'T APPROVE OF LOTS OF STUFF, SO...
WE UNDERSTAND.
THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
YEAH, UM, BUT I REALLY DON'T CARE.
I MEAN, THIS IS MY BODY, AND MY BABY,
AND MY DECISION, AND...
YOU'RE THE FAMILY THAT I WANT MY BABY TO GO TO.
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH.
HAVE YOU MET, UM, THE OTHER TWO COUPLES?
YEAH, I MET THEM.
I MEAN, THEY'RE FINE.
I JUST...
I DON'T LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE YOU GUYS.
THEY'RE JUST NOT AS INTERESTING,
AND THIS BABY, HE'S...
GOING TO HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE.
HE?
YEAH, IT'S A BOY,
WHICH IS ANOTHER REASON
WHY I WANT YOU TO BE HIS PARENTS.
'CAUSE THIS WORLD NEEDS BOYS
WHO ARE GOING TO DO THINGS...
DIFFERENT,
AND I REALLY WANT MY BABY TO HAVE A CHANCE AT THAT,
AT MAKING THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE BETTER.
[CHUCKLES]
SO, YEAH...
MARCI...
THANK YOU.
OKAY, SO, UM, THAT'S GOOD.
YOU JUST... CALL ME.
WHAT THE FUCK? I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
I CAN'T TAKE IT...
[**]
I'M HAPPY.
YEAH?
IT WAS JUST A MOMENTARY THING.
[WHISPERING]: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY...
I KNOW.
[LAUGHING]
[**]