PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...
IT WAS WILLIAM THAT STOLE THE NEGATIVE.
WHY WOULD WILLIAM WHO PRODUCED THE MOVIE
STEAL THE NEGATIVE?
I OVERHEARD HIM HAVING THIS CONVERSATION,
AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BURNING DOWN
ONE OF HIS BUILDINGS
FOR INSURANCE REASONS.
EVERYONE, THIS IS KELLY. KELLY, THIS IS EVERYONE.
NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.
THE BEST WAY I CAN THINK OF
TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR GALLERY A CONTENDER
IS IF I WERE TO COME AND WORK WITH YOU.
I MEAN, SHE'S GOING TO MAKE ME A PARTNER.
YOU SOUND LIKE IT'S ALREADY A DONE DEAL.
THIS IS A BUSINESS DECISION, TINA,
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT,
THEN I SUGGEST YOU COME UP WITH A BETTER SOLUTION.
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE THIS?
I JUST WROTE THAT IN A NIGHT.
I JUST KIND OF... STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS--
I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO SELL.
PRETTY BORING...
HELENA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
AND I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING
FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE WITH HER.
I WANT YOU BOTH OUT OF MY HOUSE, OKAY?
LISTEN, I DIDN'T FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
JENNY, SHE ONLY ATE ME OUT.
ARE YOU PUTTING ON THE CRAZY JENNY SHOW
JUST TO SEE HOW FAR YOU CAN PUSH IT WITH ME?
DO YOU HATE ME?
NO.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
[BETTE AND TINA BOTH TALKING AT ONCE]
YEAH, WHAT'S THE STUDIO?
I'M SO GLAD WE GOT THE SPACE...
YEAH, I READ THAT TREATMENT.
NO, IT IS AMAZING.
YEAH, NO, I HATED IT...
PLUS, HE'S A REAL ASSHOLE TO WORK WITH,
EVERY SINGLE ASPECT.
MM-HMM, YEAH, NO, ACTUALLY,
SHE PITCHED IT TO ME ON HER BLACKBERRY.
WHAT?
WELL, WE COULDN'T BE MORE THRILLED.
YOU ARE KIDDING ME.
ABSOLUTELY,
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET KELLY.
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS? NO WAY!
WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
HE IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED.
NO, NO PROBLEM.
WE'LL SEE YOU THEN. ALL RIGHT.
WOW. OH, MY GOD.
ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE.
WOW, YOU TWO REALLY HAVE JUST MOVED YOUR OFFICES
RIGHT ON IN HERE, HUH?
THIS CONSTRUCTION IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
THE NEXT TIME I GET THE BRIGHT IDEA
TO DOUBLE THE SQUARE FOOTAGE OF MY HOUSE,
PLEASE TALK ME OUT OF IT.
YEAH, IT'S ON TUESDAY.
OKAY, BYE.
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?
JENNY SOLD HER SCRIPT.
WHAT? WAIT,
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS WORKING ON A SCREENPLAY.
I DIDN'T... YEAH.
IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, SHE WAS DEPRESSED,
AND SOMEONE STOLE HER MOVIE RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER HER,
AND SHE JUST SAT RIGHT BACK DOWN,
AND SHE JUST BANGED OUT ANOTHER SCRIPT.
JUST CRANKED IT OUT.
GOOD FOR HER.
YEAH. THERE WAS A BIDDING WAR. GUESS HOW MUCH IT SOLD FOR?
HOW MUCH?
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.
NO SHIT.
WOW, HALF A MILLION?
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I WOULD HAVE BID ON IT MYSELF,
BUT YOU KNOW AARON, HE'S SUCH A SHORTSIGHTED PRICK.
HATES JENNY.
WOW, THAT'S GREAT FOR HER.
WONDER WHAT'S IT ABOUT THIS TIME, HUH?
SHOULD I BE WORRIED?
I MEAN, DID SHE GO THROUGH THE GARBAGE
AND MAKE UP A WHOLE NEW SET OF LIES
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP?
NO, THIS ONE'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
IT'S AN ACTION COMEDY
ABOUT A TALK-SHOW HOST AND A COP,
AND THE TALK-SHOW HOST GETS EMBROILED
IN THIS, LIKE, MURDER MYSTERY,
BUT THE MOVIE REALLY REVOLVES AROUND THE ROMANCE
BETWEEN THE TALK-SHOW HOST AND THE COP.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE A FOUL PLAY MEETS--
MR. AND MRS. SMITH?
YEAH, SORT OF,
EXCEPT FOR, THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE.
IT'S A GREAT CONCEPT--
OH, MY GOD...
...BIG BLOCKBUSTER POTENTIAL--
YOU GUYS!
THAT'S MY STORY!
WHAT?
THAT-THAT'S MY STORY!
GOD!
SCHECTER IS SO FUCKING DEAD!
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
HI.
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS?
HUH? EXCUSE ME?
YOU SOLD YOUR SCREENPLAY
FOR HALF A MILLION DOLLARS?
YEAH, I'M SO RELIEVED.
SHANE'S TAKING ME OUT TONIGHT TO GO TO DINNER
TO CELEBRATE IF YOU WANT TO COME.
JENNY, YOU STOLE MY IDEA!
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THE TREATMENT THAT I GAVE YOU
ABOUT THE SCREENPLAY THAT I WAS GOING TO WRITE!
WITH THE TALK-SHOW HOST WHO FALLS FOR THE COP
WHO GETS INVOLVED IN A MURDER PLOT!
I BELIEVE, IF I REMEMBER RIGHT,
YOU SAID IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
I THINK YOUR EXACT WORDS WERE,
UH, "CONTRIVED," "BORING," "UN-SELLABLE?"
RIGHT, THAT JUMBLE OF IDEAS THAT YOU GAVE ME?
THE TREATMENT, YES!
ALICE, IN NO UNIVERSE,
WOULD THAT MISH-MASH OF IDEAS
BE CONSIDERED A SELLABLE TREATMENT,
AND, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A SCREENPLAY OF MY OWN
FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS,
AND IF IT HAPPENS TO BEAR SOME RESEMBLANCE
TO SOMETHING THAT YOU JOTTED DOWN,
THEN IT'S PURE COINCIDENCE.
OH, MY GOD...
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IN HOLLYWOOD.
WHERE PEOPLE STEAL THEIR FRIENDS' IDEAS
AND THEY SELL THEM OFF AS THEIR OWN?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY?
NO. IT'S SOMETHING CALLED "THE IDEA WELL," OKAY?
OH, MY GOD.
THERE IS A WELL.
ALL OF THE WRITERS DRINK FROM THE SAME FOUNTAIN, OKAY?
BUT IT TAKES GENIUS,
TALENT, CRAFTSMANSHIP
TO TAKE A KERNEL OF AN IDEA
AND TURN IT INTO... TA-DAH!
A SELLABLE SCREENPLAY, OKAY?
JENNY, YOU ARE SO FUCKING FULL OF SHIT!
HEY...
WHAT'S GOING ON? HI.
SHE'S CROSSED THE FUCKING LINE, SHANE.
SHE HAS FUCKING CROSSED IT, I SWEAR...
THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.
IF YOU-IF YOU CONTINUE TO SHACK UP
WITH THIS FUCKING, LYING,
STEALING SNAKE IN THE FUCKING GRASS,
I SWEAR TO GOD, I CANNOT CONSIDER YOU
TO BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE!
ALICE...
ALICE!
A FUCKING JOKE.
WHAT... JEN, WHAT'S THAT?
I DON'T...
I GUESS SHE HAS SOME MISGUIDED IDEA
THAT I STOLE THE IDEA FOR HER SCREENPLAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S PISSED OFF.
I GUESS SHE'LL JUST HAVE TO GET OVER IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JENNY STOLE YOUR IDEA?
THAT'S CRAZY.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN DENY DOING IT.
SHE SAYS THEY HAPPEN TO BE SIMILAR.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS,
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE THAT SENT YOU...
HI.
NO, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I MEAN, HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW
SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING SCREW ME OVER LIKE THAT?
CAN YOU SUE HER?
I MEAN, DOES JOYCE DO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT?
NO, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
IT'S JUST LIKE I'M GOING TO...
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WHY ARE YOU GUYS STILL HERE?
I'M WORKING FROM HOME AND YET I HAVE NO HOME.
AND EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN ACCUSED
OF STEALING THE NEGATIVE,
IT'S JUST TOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO GO TO THE OFFICE,
SO I'M JUST AVOIDING IT.
I ONLY HAVE TO GO BACK LATER ON IN THE DAY.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
[LAUGHS]: JAMIE...
OH, I'M GOING TO HIT TONIGHT, YOU GUYS,
WITH TASHA AND JAMIE, IF YOU WANT TO GO.
IS JAMIE THAT GIRL
THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH ALL THE TIME?
OH, MY-- YES!
SHE IS AWESOME.
SHE'S SO COOL, YOU GUYS.
WE ACTUALLY WENT TO THAT SUSHI BAR
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT, ON VENTURA?
IT WAS FUN.
WHAT?
* YOU'RE HAVING A THIRD-WHEEL CRUSH... *
YOU AND TASHA.
YEAH, DEFINITELY.
OH, MY GOD, WE ARE NOT--
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!
[CHUCKLING]: UH-HUH.
SHE'S A FRIEND!
WE LOVE HER AS IN FRIEND-LOVE.
THERE'S FRIEND-LOVE.
YOU SO ARE!
YOU HAVE ALL THE TELL-TALE SIGNS.
SIGNS, BETTE, REALLY?
WHAT SIGNS?
WELL, LET'S SEE, IT STARTS WHEN, YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE BEEN DATING YOUR PARTNER FOR QUITE A WHILE,
AND YOU'RE STARTING TO GROW BORED WITH ONE OTHER,
AND THEN YOU START FIGHTING ALL THE TIME--
WE'RE NOT FIGHTING.
HUH? WHAT?
WHAT?
I MEAN, THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF FIGHTING,
MAYBE.
AND THEN YOU MEET A NEW PERSON,
AND YOU START HANGING OUT
ALL THE TIME, THE THREE OF YOU,
DOING EVERYTHING TOGETHER,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S JUST GREAT,
AND THIS NEW PERSON STARTS TO REVITALIZE THE RELATIONSHIP,
POURING ALL THIS ENERGY AND EXCITEMENT INTO IT,
AND THE SYNDROME, IT CAN LAST WEEKS,
MONTHS, OR EVEN, UH, A--
[GASPS] OH, REMEMBER SALLY?
COCO, LISA.
UH-HUH. THAT ONE LASTED A YEAR.
I KNOW.
JUST AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T, UH...
[TOGETHER]: TIP.
TIP?
WELL, WHEN ONE MEMBER OF THE COUPLE, YOU KNOW,
FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE THIRD WHEEL,
AND THEN DECIDES TO ACT ON IT,
BECAUSE THEN...
WHAT, BETTE?
WELL...
YOU'RE SO WRONG.
I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE.
SO JUST CHECK YOURSELF
BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.
COME ON.
WHAT?
WE THINK TASHA AND ALICE ARE HAVING A THIRD WHEEL CRUSH
WITH JAMIE.
JAMIE!
YOU KNOW WHAT, HELENA, HELENA...
[ALL LAUGHING AND TEASING]
OOH, JAMIE! JAMIE!
OOH, GIRL!
NO. NO.
NOW, THAT'S DANGEROUS BUSINESS.
DANGEROUS BUSINESS, UH-HUH,
AND SPEAKING OF
DANGEROUS BUSINESS...
UGH, I COULD DO WITHOUT THE SEGUE, KIT.
MM-HMM.
WHAT?
I'M HAVING DINNER WITH DYLAN ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
[THEY ALL BURST OUT IN OUTRAGE]
HELENA! WHY?
I... CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
OH, MY GOD...
DYLAN HAS COLONIZED MY THOUGHTS.
[LAUGHS]
WOW, THAT'S DEEP.
REALLY? "COLONIZED"?
SHE TOLD TINA I WAS THE LOVE OF HER LIFE,
AND NOW I CAN'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE,
AND, HONESTLY, I'M SICK OF TRYING.
HELENA, THIS IS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE IDEA.
DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT TO KNOW--
KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU OVER AGAIN!
THANK YOU.
HELENA, SHE REALLY PUT YOU
IN THE SHITTER LAST TIME.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, ALICE?
YOU GOING TO MAKE DYLAN FILL OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE?
I DON'T KNOW, HELENA, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE NOT A QUESTIONNAIRE,
MAYBE SOMETHING MORE LIKE A TEST.
A TEST?
YOU GUYS...
WHAT IF WE THOUGHT OF A TEST
THAT WOULD PROVE, ONCE AND FOR ALL,
WHETHER DYLAN IS A SLEAZY, GOLD-DIGGING OPPORTUNIST,
OR IS SHE THIS MISUNDERSTOOD
REFORMED FILMMAKER,
WHO JUST HAPPENED TO GET WRAPPED UP WITH THE WRONG GUY
WHO MADE HER STEAL THE MONEY?
OH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD, A TEST.
BUT YOU CAN'T TEST DYLAN.
THERE'S A TEST FOR EVERYTHING.
WELL, WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE?
A LOVE TEST?
NO, IT'S MORE LIKE
A TEST OF CHARACTER.
YES, THANK YOU.
'CAUSE THERE'S THINGS WE NEED TO KNOW, RIGHT?
I MEAN, ONE--
IS DYLAN JUST AFTER YOU FOR THE MONEY,
TWO, IS SHE STILL A CONNIVING, AMBITIOUS,
WILL-DO-ANYTHING-TO-ADVANCE HER-CAREER OPERATOR
OR HAS SHE REALLY CHANGED.
THREE, DOES SHE LOVE YOU,
AND ONLY YOU,
OR WOULD SHE LOVE ANYONE
RICH ENOUGH OR PRETTY ENOUGH TO HELP HER GET AHEAD?
OKAY, WHAT IF WE HIRE AN ESCORT
TO SEDUCE DYLAN?
NO, THAT WOULD JUST PROVE SHE'S A HO.
IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING BIGGER.
LIKE, SOMEONE THAT WOULD ADVANCE HER CAREER,
THAT SORT OF THING,
YOU KNOW?
NIKKI STEVENS.
[THEY ALL GASP] OOH...
NIKKI...
I MEAN, I THINK, REALLY,
THIS WHOLE THING IS INCREDIBLY JUVENILE
AND ILL-ADVISED, BUT...
BUT?
NIKKI.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANTED TO ENSNARE DYLAN
IN SOME KIND OF TEST, WHAT YOU WOULD DO IS,
YOU WOULD GET NIKKI TO PRETEND
THAT SHE WAS IN THIS BIG MOVIE,
AND SHE WAS INTERESTED IN HAVING DYLAN DIRECT IT.
I MEAN, THAT WOULD TEMPTING, RIGHT,
FOR A STRUGGLING FILMMAKER?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
NIKKI IS HUGE RIGHT NOW,
SO THAT WOULD BE A MAJOR PAYDAY FOR ANY NEW DIRECTOR.
AND THEN WE COULD HAVE NIKKI HIT ON HER,
AND THEN SEE IF SHE SELLS HELENA OUT
FOR THE BIG TIME, YES!
YES!
I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, IT JUST SEEMS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP.
WE JUST WANT TO KNOW.
I MEAN, JUST, DON'T YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW
WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH,
ONCE AND FOR ALL?
COME ON,
IT WILL GIVE YOU PEACE OF MIND.
WELL, I SUPPOSE...
I'D BE CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT! YES!
THIS IS ABSURD.
IT'LL BE FUN.
THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT, IT HAS TO.
WE CAN'T. WE'VE GOT A DINNER.
IT HAS TO BE TONIGHT.
HER DINNER WITH DYLAN IS TOMORROW.
YEAH, YOU GUYS, TONIGHT FOR SURE.
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CALL NIKKI.
TINA KNOWS HER.
YEAH, I DO, BUT SHE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT FOR ME.
WE HAVE TO BRING IN SHANE AND JENNY ON THIS ONE.
I'M NOT TALKING TO THEM RIGHT NOW,
ESPECIALLY NOT JENNY.
FINE, I'LL DO IT.
DOESN'T JENNY HATE NIKKI?
YEAH, BUT SHE LOVES INTRIGUE
AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH NIKKI.
ALL SHE HAS TO DO
IS IMPERSONATE HER MANAGER.
OKAY, THIS IS HOW THIS IS ALL GOING TO GO DOWN...
[**]
SHANE WILL GO AND TALK TO NIKKI
ON THE SET OF HER LATEST MOVIE.
NIKKI STILL HAS THE HOTS FOR SHANE,
SO IT SHOULD BE EASY FOR SHANE TO CONVINCE HER.
SO YOU WANT ME TO SEDUCE SOME GIRL FOR YOU?
YEAH, WE DON'T WANT YOU TO SLEEP WITH HER,
WE JUST WANT TO SEE IF SHE'S GOING TO BE INTO IT.
AND, UH, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
JUST THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU'RE HELPING A FRIEND.
WELL, I CAN THINK OF MORE FUN WAYS
TO HELP YOU, SHANE.
[GIGGLES]
THANKS.
NO PROBLEM.
[TINA]: AND THEN...
I WILL CORRAL JENNY TO IMPERSONATE NIKKI'S MANAGER.
JENNY'S HAD ENOUGH RUN-IN'S WITH HER,
SO SHE SHOULD DO A GOOD JOB.
NIKKI STEVENS IS HOT, HOT, HOT.
SHE IS TURBO HOT.
SHE IS SO HOT, I'M GETTING HOT FLASHES,
SO I SAY TO HER, "WHO DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH?
"WHO DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH,
"SPIELBERG?
DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH SCORCESE..."
SODERBERGH.
"...SODERBERGH?"
AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS TO ME?
SHE SAYS, "NO, THAT'S NOT WHO I WANT TO WORK WITH.
I WANT TO WORK WITH DYLAN MORELAND.
WELL, I MEAN, THAT'S...
THAT'S WEIRD.
I'VE ONLY DIRECTED A FEW OBSCURE DOCUMENTARIES.
SHE LOVES YOUR DOCUMENTARIES!
SHE FUCKING LOVES YOUR DOCUMENTARIES!
SO BASICALLY, HERE'S THE DEAL,
NIKKI HAS A PET PROJECT, OKAY,
I WANT YOU TO READ IT, AND...
AND YOU WILL ALSO GET LOTS OF MONEY.
OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE MONEY RIGHT NOW,
BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK I JUST NEED TO READ THE SCRIPT.
I'LL MESSENGER IT TO YOU TONIGHT.
YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
GO MEET HER AT, UH, HIT.
REALLY? SHE WANTS TO MEET AT HIT?
YES, SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO MEET AT HIT,
BECAUSE SHE IS, UH...
YOUNG!
SHE LIKES TO PARTY,
AND SHE IS A WHIPPER-SNAPPER.
WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO?
OKAY, UM...
I'LL-I'LL MEET HER THERE.
[ALICE]: DYLAN WILL THEN CALL HELENA,
BECAUSE, AT THIS POINT,
SHE'S STILL PLAYING BOTH ENDS AGAINST THE MIDDLE.
SHE WON'T WANT TO UPSET HELENA,
NOT BEFORE SHE'S REELED IN NIKKI...
HELLO, THE PLANET.
HI, HELENA?
OH, DYLAN.
HI.
HI, LISTEN,
I JUST GOT THIS REALLY ODD CALL FROM NIKKI STEVENS' MANAGER.
NIKKI STEVENS THE FILM STAR?
YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S, UH...
IT'S KIND OF STRANGE,
BUT SHE WANTS TO MEET ME TONIGHT AT YOUR CLUB
ABOUT A POSSIBLE DIRECTING JOB.
OH.
RIGHT, NO, I'M SURE THAT'LL BE FINE.
IT'S AN EXCITING OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU.
UH, ARE WE STILL ON FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT?
IF YOU DON'T GET A BETTER OFFER.
[STAMMERS]
WELL?
WE JUST WAIT AND SEE NOW.
HI YOU.
HI!
YOU JUST MISSED TINA.
YEAH?
YES.
I'M TIRED.
OH, GUESS WHAT?
SHE...
AND ALICE...
AND KIT CONCOCTED THIS VERY SILLY SCHEME
WHERE THEY'RE TRYING TO GET NIKKI
TO HOOK UP WITH DYLAN.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW?
MM-HMM.
THEY ROPED ME IN.
THEY DID? HOW?
WELL, I'M DOING THAT JOB ON PARAMOUNT.
YEAH?
SO ALICE ASKED ME TO SWING BY THE SET
OF NIKKI'S NEW MOVIE
TO SEE IF SHE WANTED TO GO OUT TONIGHT.
HUH...
YOU SAW NIKKI?
YEAH, FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
SHE SEEMS INTO IT, THOUGH.
I THINK SHE'S GOING TO COME OUT.
FUCK.
WELL, YOU CAN'T...
YOU CAN'T REALLY DO THAT.
DO WHAT?
UM, YOU CAN'T... SEE NIKKI.
I FORBID IT.
YOU FORBID IT?
YEAH.
SHE BETRAYED US,
SO YOU SHOULDN'T GO TALKING TO HER
LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT ISN'T A BIG DEAL.
JEN, COME ON.
THERE IS NOTHING...
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN NIKKI AND I.
NOTHING.
JUST TRUST ME.
I'M WITH YOU.
YOU ARE?
I'M WITH YOU.
OKAY.
BELIEVE ME?
YEAH.
SO THEN, UH,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO HER AGAIN, OKAY?
JEN, YOU CAN'T FORBID ME TO SEE SOMEONE.
I'M NOT 12.
I'M GOING TO SEE HER, SHE'S AROUND.
WELL, YEAH, SHANE,
OBVIOUSLY, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
OH, CAN I?
YEAH, YOU CAN!
OKAY, I JUST WANT TO SAY ONE MORE THING, OKAY?
THAT GIRL BETRAYED US IN THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL OF WAYS.
SHE THREATENED TO DESTROY
THE FOUNDATION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP
THAT WE HAVE CREATED OVER SO MANY YEARS,
AND I HATE HER.
I HATE HER SO MUCH FOR THAT,
AND OUT OF LOYALTY TO ME,
YOU SHOULD HATE HER, TOO.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
FIRST OF ALL, THAT WAS ME.
I'M THE PRIMARY OFFENDER IN THAT ONE,
BECAUSE SHE HAD NO IDEA
THAT YOU HAD ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS TOWARDS ME.
IN FACT,
SHE WAS PROFOUNDLY IN LOVE WITH YOU,
SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO BLAME ANYBODY,
YOU SHOULD BLAME ME--
I THINK THAT SHE SEDUCED YOU,
AND I THINK THAT SHE REALLY TRIED
TO GET INBETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
AND I THINK THAT SHE'S TRYING
TO GET INBETWEEN THE TWO OF US AGAIN,
AND I THINK THAT YOU'RE LETTING HER DO IT.
I'M NOT LETTING HER DO ANYTHING.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'M NOT BEING UNREASONABLE.
OKAY?
WHEN I THINK OF THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER,
IT DOES MAKE ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE,
AND YOU SAID THAT YOU WANTED OUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE DIFFERENT
FROM ALL THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS YOU'VE HAD.
RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
SO WE BOTH NEED TO MAKE SOME CHANGES, RIGHT?
WHICH SHOULD BE PRETTY EASY.
RIGHT?
UNLESS YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER,
WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER--
I-I MEAN, I DON'T GET IT.
WHAT LANGUAGE DO I HAVE TO TELL THIS TO YOU IN
SO YOU'LL GET THAT I DO NOT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR NIKKI.
OKAY...
AND IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT NEVER TO SPEAK TO HER AGAIN.
OH, GOD...
YOU KNOW, YOU...
YOU GOT TO BACK OFF.
OKAY!
I WAS WRONG!
WHAT?
I'M WRONG,
AND I SHOULD TRUST YOU.
DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID?
I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TRUST YOU.
THANK YOU!
THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR.
OKAY!
YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
YES!
NO FIGHTING.
NO FIGHTING, COME ON.
OH, SHANE? SHANE!
WHAT?
HI.
[LAUGHS]
[HUM OF CONVERSATION AND LAUGHTER]
...SO WE WERE HAVING A FABULOUS TIME,
AND I SAID, "PHILLIPE, YOU HAVE TO LOOSEN UP.
I MEAN, LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BORING MEN."
[LAUGHTER]
BETTE, YOU NEVER TOLD ME
YOUR PARTNER WAS SUCH A FIRECRACKER.
OH, MY GOD...
WHERE DID YOU TWO MEET?
AT UNIVERSITY.
KELLY WAS MY MENTEE IN ART HISTORY.
OH, THAT IS THE BORING ANSWER,
AND THE THEME OF THE EVENING IS...
[EVERYONE]: NO BORES!
THE TRUTH IS, BETTE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME.
MM... MM-MM.
SO, YOU TWO, UM...
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO.
NEVER.
I MISSED MY BIG OPPORTUNITY,
BUT NOW SHE'S TAKEN BY THE LOVELY TINA KENNARD.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
TINA AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,
HAPPILY, FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
KEY WORD, "HAPPILY."
RIGHT.
KEY WORD.
SO, CALEB, ARE YOU, UM...
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
OH, I'M SORRY,
I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL.
EXCUSE ME, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE IT DOWN JUST A NOTCH.
OH, COME ON, WE'RE HAVING FUN.
YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA
TO HIT UPON ARTISTS,
ESPECIALLY NOT RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW.
UH, BETTE, I'M SORRY,
CAN YOU TALK TO JASON ABOUT TOMORROW?
HE'S CONFUSED.
THANK YOU.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I'M TRANSPORTING A NUMBER OF PIECES TOMORROW.
IT'S ALWAYS JUST A COMPLETE HEADACHE.
NO, NO, DON'T WORRY, BETTE WILL WORK IT OUT.
SHE'S VERY BRILLIANT.
AND VERY BEAUTIFUL.
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
TO ME, SHE'S... "THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY."
IS SHE?
BUT, AS YOU SAID, SHE IS TAKEN.
YEAH.
TINA, DOES IT BOTHER YOU
THAT I FLIRT SHAMELESSLY WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
NO, NO, FLIRT AWAY.
OH, GOOD.
I MEAN, BETTE KNOWS THAT IF SHE WERE TO EVER CHEAT ON ME,
THEN THAT WOULD BE THE END OF US.
SO, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL SCANDALOUS
AND SEXY TO TEASE HER
WITH HER CO-ED CRUSH,
HAVE AT IT.
THANKS, I WILL.
THANKS FOR WHAT?
WHAT DID I MISS?
NOTHING.
WE'RE JUST TALKING.
UM, WILLIAM AND AARON JUST WALKED IN
WITH MARTINE LUCAS
AND SUSAN KALOGRIDIS.
THEY'RE TWO SCREENWRITERS
THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A PROJECT WITH
FOR THREE YEARS.
SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
I WASN'T INVITED.
THAT, IN HOLLYWOOD,
IS HOW YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN FIRED.
JESUS, HELENA... "BIG BROTHER" MUCH?
IT WAS DAWN DENBO'S SECURITY SYSTEM.
SHE'S GOT CAMERAS IN EVERY CORNER OF THE CLUB,
AND, LOOK, YOU CAN ZOOM IN.
WHOA...
AND THEN SHE'S GOT MICROPHONES
ALL OVER THE PLACE, EVERY TABLE,
SO YOU CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON,
ANYWHERE IN THE CLUB, EVERY TABLE.
REMIND ME TO NEVER TALK SHIT ABOUT YOU, HUH?
[KIT LAUGHS]
HI!
CHECK THIS OUT.
WOW.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?
OH...
OH, UH...
I-I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
I JUST THINK IT'S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING.
I REALLY DO.
WHAT?
WHAT ABOUT IT DID I MISUNDERSTAND?
WAS IT WHEN JENNY STOLE MY IDEA,
OR WHEN SHE SOLD IT FOR HALF A MILLION DOLLARS?
I'M SORRY, I JUST,
I REALLY I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU--
ALICE, PLEASE?
PLEASE JUST STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD.
I DID NOT STEAL YOUR IDEA.
ALICE, WAS IT YOUR IDEA
WHEN THE TERRORIST HAS A NUCLEAR WEAPON
THAT'S GOING TO BLOW UP THE BUILDING?
OR WAS IT YOUR IDEA
WHEN THE HERO OF THE ROMANTIC COMEDY
HAS TO RUSH TO THE WEDDING
IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS BELOVED FROM GETTING MARRIED?
OR WAIT, WAS BEVERLY HILLS COP YOUR IDEA, TOO--
CAN YOU JUST STOP SLINGING YOUR BULLSHIT AT ME, OKAY?
I'M SERIOUS.
MAYBE SHANE IS BUYING INTO YOUR ACT--
OBVIOUSLY, SHE IS,
BUT I-I SEE YOU, OKAY?
JUST, LIKE, STAY AWAY FROM ME
BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY--
SHE'S HERE, SHE'S HERE.
OH, SHIT, NIKKI!
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, I'LL MEET YOU IN THERE.
OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.
I'M RIGHT.
WHY DOES NIKKI HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
BECAUSE I GAVE IT TO HER. NIK...
NIKKI STEVENS, REPORTING FOR DUTY.
HELLO, I SEE YOU.
UH, OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND.
HELENA, PSST...
[ALICE MUTTERING ENCOURAGEMENTS]
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT.
I MEAN, LIKE, WE'RE HERE...
DO IT, DO IT, DO IT...
GO AHEAD.
DO IT.
ROGER THAT.
THERE SHE GOES.
OKAY, CHEERS.
CHEERS!
OOH!
BYE!
OOH, NIKKI STEVENS!
OH, CAN WE GET A QUICK SHOT?
THANKS!
DYLAN?
OH, HI.
HI. NIKKI.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
OH, YEAH.
I'M SO GRATEFUL,
AND, HONESTLY, I'M A LITTLE SURPRISED
THAT YOU WANTED TO MEET WITH ME.
OH, MY GOD, NO,
I HAVE BEEN A FAN OF YOURS
EVER SINCE I SAW, "THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING."
"THE OTHER SIDE OF NOTHING."
RIGHT, RIGHT.
[GIGGLES]
AY-YI-YI...
BRING IT BACK, NIKKI, COME ON.
YOU KNOW, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY
THAT YOU PICKED THIS BOOTH.
WHY?
WELL, THIS HAPPENS TO BE MY LUCKY SPOT.
LAST WEEK, I MADE OUT WITH THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN EVER
RIGHT THERE.
OH, THAT'S...
NICE SAVE!
DO YOU WANT A DRINK?
OH, NO, I'M FINE, THANKS.
[LAUGHING]
THAT IS SOME FUCKING NERVE, HUH?
HOLLYWOOD IS SO TACKY.
AARON IS A SCUM-SUCKING FUCKING MISCREANT.
I NEED TO GET SOME AIR.
OKAY.
EXCUSE ME.
I HOPE SHE'S OKAY.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
BETTE!
IT'S BETTE, RIGHT?
IT'S AARON, RIGHT?
THE BALD IMPOTENT WORM THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN TALKING ABOUT.
EXCUSE ME?
IT IS FUCKING STUPEFYING TO ME
HOW YOU CAN SIT HERE WITH MARTINE,
SUSAN, RIGHT?
TINA'S WRITERS, AND--
[WHISPERING]: BETTE...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M DEFENDING YOU.
I DO NOT NEED YOU TO DEFEND ME.
I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF SPEAKING FOR MYSELF.
I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
I AM SO HAPPY TO BE DONE WITH DYKES.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID, "I AM SO HAPPY...
"TO BE DONE...
WITH DYKES."
YOU--
YOU STUPID FUCKING COCKSUCKER.
HOW DARE YOU SIT THERE
WITH THAT SMUG LITTLE SMILE ON YOUR FACE
AND WINE AND DINE MY WRITERS
ON A PROJECT THAT TOOK ME THREE YEARS TO PUT TOGETHER,
AS IF YOU HAD ANYTHING--
ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!
HE SAID YOU WERE TALENTLESS HACKS.
YEAH, AND I BEGGED HIM!
I BEGGED HIM TO HIRE YOU.
I HAVE PUT EVERYTHING INTO THIS JOB!
I HAVE POURED MY HEART, AND MY SOUL, AND MY TALENT,
INTO MAKING YOU BOTH LOOK GOOD
TIME AND AGAIN,
AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME?
BY STEALING MY CONTACTS AND ICING ME.
TINA, KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN--
SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE, AARON!
I HAVE NEVER, IN ALL OF MY LIFE,
WORKED FOR SUCH AN IDIOTIC, MINDLESS,
JUVENILE, CRUEL, PATHETIC,
LOSER OF A HUMAN BEING SUCH AS YOU!
YOU ARE SOULLESS,
AND YOU ARE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FUCKING HOLLYWOOD
THAT I HATE!
NOW, THIS IS REALLY UNCALLED FOR--
UNCALLED FOR?
YOU KNOW WHAT'S UNCALLED FOR?
A BILLIONAIRE STEALING THE NEGATIVE OF HIS OWN MOVIE
JUST SO HE CAN PUT IN A CLAIM
FOR INSURANCE MONEY--
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
AND THEN TO DRAG MY NAME THROUGH THE MUD,
TO FORGE MY SIGNATURE ON A LETTER,
ACCUSING ME OF THEFT AND FRAUD?
IT'S JUST DOWNRIGHT CRIMINAL, WILLIAM,
AND DON'T THINK, DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND,
THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING GET AWAY WITH IT,
BECAUSE I KNOW.
I KNOW.
ENJOY YOUR DINNER.
SHE'S FLIPPED.
I THINK THIS FILM SHOULD BE, YOU KNOW,
REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND GLAMOROUS.
YOU KNOW, LIKE "ATONEMENT."
OH, MY GOD, I LOVED THAT MOVIE.
NO, I DID, TOO, BUT I KIND OF...
I DISAGREE A LITTLE.
I THINK THAT THIS IS A SMALL, DELICATE FILM,
AND IT REALLY SHOULD BE SPARE
AND NATURALISTIC,
LIKE, UM, LIKE "DOWN TO THE BONE."
OH, BUT THAT GIRL LOOKED AWFUL IN THAT MOVIE.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOOD.
WELL, I MEAN, SHE LET HERSELF LOOK AWFUL
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE CHARACTER REQUIRED.
I MEAN, SHE WAS REAL,
AND COMPELLING AND-AND RIVETING.
OH, MY GOD.
I MEAN, YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
I MEAN, THAT'S BRILLIANT!
I MEAN, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO WIN AN OSCAR,
I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT TO EITHER PLAY UGLY,
RETARDED, OR A LESBIAN.
SHE'S TOTALLY RIGHT. IT'S TRUE.
I'VE TOTALLY SAID THAT BEFORE.
BUT I ALREADY PLAYED A LESBIAN.
WAIT A MINUTE, I'M SO SORRY,
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NO, WELL, YOU JUST DO THE MATH.
I MEAN, OKAY, CHARLIZE THERON, "MONSTER."
UGLY, LESBIAN, OSCAR.
NICOLE KIDMAN IN "THE HOURS."
PROSTHETIC NOSE, REALLY UGLY.
LESBIAN, OSCAR.
SUCH A GOOD NOSE, TOO, RIGHT?
SEAN PENN, "I AM SAM," RETARDED, OSCAR NOD.
AND HILARY SWANK IN, UM, "BOYS DON'T CRY,"
TOTAL LESBIAN--
RIGHT, I...
I GET YOUR POINT, I REALLY DO, UM...
BUT I DON'T-I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO BE UGLY.
I JUST THINK YOU'VE GOT TO BE REAL.
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN, REAL--
DYLAN, SHE CAN'T BE REAL!
IT'S ALL AN ACT!
I THINK DYLAN'S BEING COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
[AGREEMENT ALL ROUND]
NO, NO, NO,
DON'T GIVE HER THAT MUCH CREDIT YET,
BECAUSE NIKKI...
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
NIKKI IS ABOUT TO MAKE HER MOVE
RIGHT ABOUT... NOW.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT!
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
IT'S CALLED "ROPE-A-DOPE."
BRACE YOURSELVES, LADIES.
OH, THAT'S SO CUTE.
OOH, UNNECESSARY TOUCH.
DON'T FALL FOR IT, DYLAN.
SO IS THERE ANYONE SPECIAL?
YES, ACTUALLY,
THERE IS SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL.
ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER?
I'D LIKE TO BE,
BUT I DID SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY FUCKED UP
IN THE PAST,
AND IT'S NOT REALLY SOMETHING YOU CAN UNDO.
YEAH, I'VE DONE A LOT OF FUCKED UP THINGS
IN MY LIFE, TOO.
REALLY?
DO YOU REGRET DOING THEM?
ALWAYS.
BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES,
IT JUST FEELS SO GOOD IN THE MOMENT, YOU KNOW?
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
WHY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW, I JUST...
I TEND TO ALWAYS BE ATTRACTED TO OLDER WOMEN.
OH, FUCK YOU,
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU...
[ALL SHOUTING IN PANIC]
OKAY, OKAY.
OKAY, DON'T TOUCH IT. DON'T TOUCH IT!
SHH, SHH!
STOP TALKING STOP TALKING.
[WHISPERING]: SORRY!
...BUT IN ORDER FOR ME TO DO MY BEST WORK,
I NEED A DIRECTOR THAT I CAN REALLY TRUST,
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE THAT I CAN...
BE VERY CLOSE WITH.
YOU KNOW, NIKKI...
I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS...
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE SHE'S GOING.
STRAIGHT DOWN HER PANTS--
SHH!
...BUT I-I CAN'T GET INVOLVED WITH YOU.
WHY NOT?
WELL, FOR ONE, IT'S UNETHICAL.
IT'S NOT REALLY A GOOD IDEA
FOR A DIRECTOR TO GET INVOLVED WITH THE STAR OF THE MOVIE.
GUESS YOU DIDN'T GET THAT MEMO, HUH?
FUCK OFF.
PLUS, THERE'S SOMEONE I'M IN LOVE WITH.
YEAH...
BUT WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW WON'T HURT HER.
OH, SHIT, SHE'S GOING IN.
IF YOU WANT TO DIRECT THIS FILM,
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO COME HOME WITH ME
TONIGHT.
THEN I GUESS I'M NOT GOING TO BE DIRECTING THIS MOVIE.
[ALL CHEERING]
YAY!
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS REALLY...
SHE PASSED!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHE'S NOT A SCUMBAG.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU DID IT.
WELL, I MEAN, SHE DID IT, RIGHT?
I FEEL LIKE SHE REALLY DID IT.
THIS IS GREAT.
SMILE.
I'M GOING TO GO.
OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
UH, ARE YOU COMING?
HUH?
YEAH, NO, I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.
HMM...
[**]
HEY.
HOW DID YOUR MEETING GO?
WELL, IT'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO WORK OUT.
WHY NOT?
I JUST DON'T THINK I WAS WHAT SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.
DO YOU MIND IF I...
NO, PLEASE.
TINA TOLD ME WHAT YOU SAID TO HER.
YEAH, UM...
WELL, IT'S ALL TRUE.
YOU KNOW, I CAME BACK TO L.A.
AFTER ALL THIS TIME
BECAUSE I COULD NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU.
NEVER.
I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, HELENA,
AND I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN--
ALWAYS--
AND I GET IT, REALLY.
YOU WANT TO SEE ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME.
I... I UNDERSTAND, REALLY.
I JUST WAS HOPING, I...
NEVER MIND.
LET'S GO SOMEWHERE WE CAN TALK.
THIS PLACE JUST...
IT'S NOT PRIVATE.
OKAY.
[**]
JENNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WAS READING YOUR TEXT MESSAGES--
YEAH, NO SHIT.
YOU WERE SEEING IF NIKKI TEXTED ME--
I WAS SEEING BECAUSE SHE HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
SHE'S NOT TEXTING ME, JENNY, OKAY?
WELL, I WANTED TO SEE IF SHE WAS TEXTING.
[LAUGHING AND CHATTING]
ALICE.
[LAUGHING]
ALICE.
WHAT?
I NEED YOUR HELP, OKAY?
SHE'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY,
AND ALL I NEED IS FIVE MINUTES.
WILL YOU PLEASE JUST KEEP HER BUSY?
OKAY?
I'M NOT TALKING TO HER, AND YOU KNOW THAT--
YES, YOU ARE, YOU'RE GOING TO TALK TO HER,
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GO OUTSIDE.
WHEN SHE COMES LOOKING FOR ME, YOU'RE GOING TO CALL.
OKAY.
OKAY? FOR ME?
I SAID OKAY.
THANK YOU.
OKAY.
HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT I LEFT MY HEADLIGHTS ON,
SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO
RUN OUT REALLY QUICK.
CAN YOU PLEASE NOT LEAVE?
I'LL BE FIVE MINUTES.
I'LL BE FIVE MINUTES, FIVE MINUTES, JENNY, FIVE.
THAT WAS TAKEN WHEN I WAS IN THAILAND.
I DON'T... REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
WELL...
MAYBE WE CAN JUST TALK?
SO WHEN WERE YOU IN THAILAND?
UM, ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
I, UM, I HAD THIS JOB
WHERE I WAS SHOOTING RUBBER TREES, AND...
DO YOU WANT MILK?
NO.
WE WOULD GET UP REALLY EARLY EVERY MORNING,
AND THIS GUY, HIS NAME WAS NING,
AND HE WOULD SHOW ME THESE RUBBER TREES--
I'M REALLY INTERESTED IN RUBBER TREES RIGHT NOW.
[GASPING]
HEY.
HI.
DO YOU MIND IF I BUM ONE?
NO, SURE.
HERE.
THANKS.
I'M TRYING TO QUIT,
BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING.
YEAH? [CHUCKLES]
THANK YOU.
THAT WAS REALLY SWEET WHAT YOU DID TODAY.
OH, NO, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUN.
[LAUGHS]
I CAN IMAGINE.
ENJOY.
WHAT, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME?
I SHOULDN'T.
WHY NOT?
JENNY'S INSIDE.
WHAT ABOUT HER?
WE'RE TOGETHER.
OH.
AND I DON'T THINK
SHE'D BE TERRIBLY COMFORTABLE
IF SHE CAME OUT HERE AND SAW US,
YOU KNOW, TALKING,
CONSIDERING...
NO, I'M...
I'M STUPID, I, UH...
I THOUGHT WHEN YOU STOPPED BY THIS MORNING THAT, UM...
YOU KNOW, MAYBE...
NO... OH, SHIT...
NIKKI, I'M SORRY.
I'M REALLY SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
I THINK YOU'RE A SUPER SWEET GIRL,
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT,
AND IF JENNY WASN'T IN THE PICTURE, MAYBE...
YOU KNOW, THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
OKAY.
WE'LL SEE YOU INSIDE.
YES.
HEY, IF IT, UH...
IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT BETWEEN YOU TWO, UH...
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.
COME ON, JUST BECAUSE THE RULES OF HOLLYWOOD ARE DOG-EAT-DOG
DOESN'T MEAN FRIENDS NEED TO ACT THAT WAY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
OKAY, IT MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS, IT'S JUST--
YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S OKAY--
IT'S ACTUALLY NOT YOUR BUSINESS--
OH, KILL IT, JENNY!
ALICE BROUGHT YOU AN IDEA,
AND THEN THAT IDEA SOMEHOW ENDS UP
IN YOUR SCREENPLAY?
COME ON, IT'S UNETHICAL!
HER IDEA IS NOT
AN ORIGINAL IDEA, OKAY?
SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THIS IS SO CRAZY.
WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS DUMB BUSINESS
AFFECT OUR FRIENDSHIP.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD FRIENDS.
REALLY, JENNY? ARE WE?
I DON'T THINK SO, OKAY?
I THINK WE'RE FRIENDS WITH OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE FRIENDS,
BUT YOU AND I, NOT SO MUCH.
SHANE, PLEASE!
CAN YOU TELL HER THAT I DID NOT DO ANYTHING,
AND THAT SHE IS WRONG!
OH, YEAH, SAY THAT I'M WRONG,
AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND HERE IS RIGHT.
I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT ONE.
OH, MY GOD!
LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THIS POOR GIRL!
YOU'RE MAKING HER TAKE A SIDE!
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO...
LOOK WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW.
NOW SHE'S FORCING YOU TO TAKE A SIDE
SO YOU SHOULD PICK A SIDE.
PICK ONE!
I'M NOT PICKING A SIDE, NO.
OH, YOU DON'T? OKAY.
OH, FUCK.
OH, COME ON, JENNY.
JENNY, JENNY, JENNY, JENNY...
AND THERE SHE GOES.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
NO, DON'T LET IT RUIN YOUR NIGHT--
NO, REALLY, I'M HAVING THE WORST TIME EVER.
I'M ABOUT TO CRY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, TASHA, I REALLY WANT TO GO.
ALICE, DON'T LET HER--
SHE'S THE FUCKING DEVIL.
DON'T GIVE HER ENERGY.
LET'S HAVE FUN.
JENNY, JENNY, JESUS CHRIST,
WILL YOU TALK TO ME?
WHERE WERE YOU? WHERE DID YOU GO?
I WAS SMOKING.
OH, SHANE, MY GOD, WE QUIT!
YOU QUIT!
I DIDN'T QUIT.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LEAVE ME
OUT THERE WITH THE THREE...
TO GET REAMED BY THE THREE MUSKETEERS?
WERE YOU IN THE BATHROOM
FUCKING NIKKI STEVENS?
OH!
WERE YOU?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHY ARE YOU BEING FUCKING PARANOID?
OF COURSE I'M BEING PARANOID!
BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING ME ACT PARANOID!
YOU'RE MAKING ME ACT CRAZY!
NO, NO, YOU GOT TO LAY THE FUCK OFF.
BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN YOU GET ALL INSECURE
AND YOU'RE PARANOID,
ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS CONTROL EVERYTHING,
BUT YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE I'M YOUR FUCKING PROPERTY!
DON'T PUT ME IN A FUCKING BOX!
I'M PUTTING YOU IN A BOX--
I AM IN A BOX!
LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW!
ALL IT WANTS TO MAKE ME DO IS ACT OUT.
IS THAT A FUCKING THREAT?
NO! IT'S--
OKAY, FUCK YOU!
JENNY, PLEASE NO, LISTEN, LISTEN, I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I'M TRULY SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
YOU'RE MY DEAR, DARLING FRIEND,
AND I AM SORRY,
AND WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS
WAY BEFORE ANY OF THIS SHIT HAPPENED, OKAY?
RIGHT?
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
AND I GOT TO SAY,
IF I HAD TO CHOOSE TODAY
BETWEEN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP,
I'D HAVE TO CHOOSE THE FRIENDSHIP.
UH-HUH.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO GET IN THE WAY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP
IS IF SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY OF OUR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.
I LOVE YOU.
ME TOO.
I GOT TO...
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
* DON'T YOU BE WASTING ALL YOUR MONEY... *
[GASPING AND SIGHING]
[GASPING]
[CRYING]
WHAT'S WRONG?
I'M SCARED.
I KNOW.
ME TOO.
* DON'T YOU BE SPENDING EVERY DAY *
* WORKING AWAY
* BECAUSE I'M WAITING FOR YOU
* LISTEN TO ME
* ONE, TWO, THREE
* BABY, BABY, BABY
* SPEND YOUR TIME ON ME...
[**]
* SPEND IT, SPEND IT, SPEND IT
* YOUR TIME ON ME
* PLEASE, BABY
* MM...
* PLEASE, BABY...