LAST SEASON ON THE L WORD...
I'M SO INTO YOU, I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
ARE YOU IN?
YES.
WHAT DO YOU, UM, THINK WE SHOULD DO?
SO YOU LIKE GIRLY GIRLS, HUH?
YOU'RE A FUCKING HEARTBREAKER.
YOU'RE JUST DEAD FUCKING MEAT, JENNY SCHECTER.
I'M SITTING HERE WITH JENNY'S LITTLE FUCKING BOOK,
WONDERING WHY YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A HEADS UP.
IS IT TRUE THAT ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS BOOK
IS BASED ON YOU?
I DON'T LIKE THE STORY.
I WANT IT FOR SHAOLIN.
I LOVE "LEZ GIRLS."
MY AGENTS ARE HERE.
TINA, YOU SHOULD GO TALK TO THEM IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS.
HOW'S IT GOING WITH JENNY?
A LITTLE CHALLENGING.
I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
YOU WHAT?
BUT I'LL SEE YOU AT THE MEETING THIS AFTERNOON.
IT'S BEEN CANCELLED. HELLO.
WE THOUGHT THAT...
I WAS COMPLETELY CLUELESS?
I'M NOT CUT OUT TO LIVE MODESTLY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE
IF I HADN'T MET CATHERINE.
SHE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP ME
LEARN TO STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET.
NO, SHE'S NOT.
WE'VE BEEN INVITED TO A POKER GAME THIS EVENING.
I'M SURE YOUR FRIENDS WILL UNDERSTAND.
MAKING $150,000 TOGETHER IS GREAT,
BUT WHERE IS YOUR SHARE?
100,000.
ONE IN THE PINK.
YOU LOST YOUR INVESTMENT.
I HAVE SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
I'M GOING THROUGH A TRANSITION.
I WAS BORN A GIRL.
I DON'T DATE FREAKS.
I WANT TO FEEL YOUR BODY.
I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.
I DO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THE...
IT'S AN IRREVERSIBLE DECISION, YOU KNOW?
I THINK I'M A LESBIAN, BETTE.
OH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW WONDERFUL THIS IS.
WE HAVE TO LET HER DOWN EASY.
NOBODY EVER BROKE MY HEART BEFORE.
NO ONE HAS EVER DIED OF A BROKEN HEART.
YOU WANT TO TAKE ALL OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER
AND JUST THROW IT IN THE TOILET?
YES.
I MADE THAT APPOINTMENT.
I KNOW IT'S THE RIGHT DECISION.
I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE FUCKING THE NANNY BEHIND MY SISTER'S BACK?
I WOULD HAVE FIRED HAZEL IF HE HADN'T HAVE ENDED IT.
YOU WOULD HAVE FIRED HAZEL?
LYING, LOW-DOWN, NANNY-SUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.
GOD DAMN YOU!
I'M YOUR HOME NOW, OKAY?
I'M GOING BACK TO OREGON THIS AFTERNOON
AND I'M TAKING MY SON HOME WITH ME.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
I'M HIS FATHER.
WHEN I GET TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE,
I PUSH HER AWAY,
AND I DON'T TRUST MYSELF TO NOT DO THAT TO YOU.
YOU WERE GOOD.
SO WERE YOU.
THE CLASS I WAS GOING TO TAKE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT TAKING IT TOGETHER.
CAN WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
OH, MY GOD!
DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE?
I WASN'T GOING TO FALL FOR ANYBODY WHILE I WAS BACK.
ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
MY UNIT'S BEING MOBILIZED BACK TO IRAQ.
YOU'RE MUCH NAUGHTIER THAT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE.
I'VE BEEN PLENTY DIRTY.
I THINK I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
DID YOU JUST SAY...
THAT YOU LOVED ME?
I MISS YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO GET HER BACK, BETTE?
[**]
CATHERINE, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
THEY FIRED ME FROM THE MOVIE.
IT'S JUST YOU AND THE PARIAH.
HEY, WHERE'S JENNY?
I'M LEAVING IN TWO WEEKS.
I STILL LOVE YOU.
BETTER NOT BREAK MY HEART.
[**]
JIM, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME IN THE ROOM WITH ALL OF THESE.
HI. HI.
JESSE, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
MARGARITA?
STRAWBERRY DYKEQUIRI?
UM, I'M... I'M NOT...
OH, I ACTUALLY SEE MY BOYFRIEND, JIM,
SO I'M GOING TO GO.
EXCUSE ME.
WOW, SHE IS SOMETHING.
MM-HMM, SHE IS FUCKING HOT.
DO YOU THINK SHE COULD BE?
NO, NO, NO. TOO PRETTY, TOO FEMININE.
I DON'T KNOW, I'D BE HAPPY TO...
TASTE THE FRUIT?
PEEL IT, SECTION IT,
AND SQUEEZE THE JUICE WITH HER.
GET IN LINE, SISTER.
PLEASE.
OH, I'M SORRY, BABY.
AS LONG AS YOU SHARE HER WITH ME.
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
WE LOVE THE PRESCHOOL ART CURRICULUM.
WE WANT ANGELICA TO GROW UP SURROUNDED BY ART.
WE WANT ART TO BE PART OF HER EVERYDAY EXPERIENCE.
I MEAN, ESSENTIALLY, OUR HOUSE IS A GALLERY.
WE HAVE A COLLECTION THAT WE ROTATE WEEKLY
SO THAT SHE CAN BE ACQUAINTED
WITH AS MANY ARTISTS AS POSSIBLE.
HOW WONDERFUL FOR ANGELICA.
YEAH.
HELLO.
HI.
WE HAD A NICE TIME IN PLAYGROUP, DIDN'T WE, ANGIE?
ANGIE PUT TOGETHER THE COW JUMPS OVER THE MOON PUZZLE.
WELL, SHE LOVES PUZZLES.
WE ACTUALLY HAVE A WOMAN IN THE MOON PUZZLE
THAT WAS MADE SPECIALLY FOR ANGIE
BY THE ARTIST JULIA CONDON.
SHE'S ONE OF OUR FAVORITE ARTISTS.
ISN'T AUNTIE JULIA ONE OF OUR FAVORITE ARTISTS,
SWEET PEA?
YEAH, PLAY.
YES, YOU'RE PLAYING.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
DOES ONE OF YOU HAVE A DEAF FAMILY MEMBER?
OH, I...
WE HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S DEAF,
AND SHE JUST PICKED IT UP FROM HER.
WE THINK SHE HAS AN APTITUDE FOR LANGUAGES.
YEAH. SHE KNOWS "FRERE JACQUES" BY HEART.
YEAH.
I'M SO SORRY.
IT JUST-- IT JUST SLIPPED OUT.
LOOK, I THINK IT WORKS IN OUR FAVOR
THAT WE'RE A LESBIAN FAMILY.
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SCORE DIVERSITY POINTS FOR THAT.
I JUST...
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE READY FOR A DIVORCED LESBIAN FAMILY.
YOU KNOW?
YEAH. WELL, DO YOU THINK IT WAS ALL RIGHT
THAT I SORT OF LET THEM THINK THAT WE'RE STILL TOGETHER?
I THINK IT WAS A LITTLE WHITE LIE
TOLD FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
OH, SHIT, THEY'RE HERE.
HI.
HEY, GIRLS.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ON THE SAME PRESCHOOL PARTY CIRCUIT.
HOW WAS YOUR INTERVIEW?
GREAT.
FANTASTIC. IT WAS REALLY GREAT.
WE THINK WE STAND A GOOD CHANCE.
FIRST OF ALL,
ED'S A CHRISTIAN AND I'M MUSLIM.
LUCAS IS ADOPTED.
HE'S HALF JEWISH,
A QUARTER LATINO AND A QUARTER CHINESE.
WOW.
HMM.
WELL, I THINK WE PROBABLY HAVE A PRETTY GOOD SHOT.
I MEAN, BI-RACIAL DAUGHTER OF LESBIAN MOMS.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A NICHE SOMEWHERE.
AND ROWENA,
SHE LOVES THAT JAMAL TEACHES ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE.
YOU SPOKE WITH ROWENA?
YEAH, WE MET HER LAST SUMMER AT GEFFEN'S PARTY.
SHE WANTS DAVID ON THE BOARD,
AND SHE KNOWS WE'RE CLOSE WITH HIM.
SHE TOLD NOT TO BOTHER WITH THE DIRECTOR OF ADMISSIONS.
ROWENA MAKES ALL THE DECISIONS,
BUT I'M SURE YOU KNOW THAT.
YEAH. YEAH.
ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK, AND GOOD LUCK.
THANKS. BYE, LUCAS.
* OOH...
* OOH, OOH, OOH...
* OOH...
* OOH, OOH, OOH...
* OOH, OOH...
[METAL DOOR CLOSING]
* I WARNED YOU YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME *
* I WARNED YOU AND NOW YOU'RE CAUGHT *
* THERE'S SOME PEOPLE THAT YOU JUST CAN'T TRUST *
* SOME PEOPLE TALK WAY TOO MUCH *
* TAKE MY ADVICE AND LISTEN UP *
* DON'T BE A FOOL LIKE THE REST OF US *
* NOW LISTEN UP
* OOH...
SO, I FINALLY REACHED SOME SECRETARY WHO WAS, LIKE,
"MRS. PEABODY IS ABROAD
AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE REACHED UNLESS IT'S A TOTAL EMERGENCY."
WELL, DIDN'T YOU SAY HER DAUGHTER'S IN JAIL?
I SAID, "I KNOW MRS. PEABODY'S A BROAD,
AND NOT A VERY CLASSY ONE."
HEY, PHYLLIS, ARE YOU READY?
YEAH. HOW'S MY MAKEUP LOOK?
I DON'T WANT TO WEAR TOO MUCH LIPSTICK
AND LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE LIPSTICK LESBIANS.
YEAH, NO, YOU'RE A TOTAL STONE BUTCH.
STONE BUTCH.
I'M STUDYING THE LINGO.
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.
WHETHER YOU'RE A STONE BUTCH OR A LIPSTICK LESBIAN,
YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY FOXY, PHYLLIS.
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, GOOD LUCK TODAY.
THANKS AGAIN. YOU GOT IT.
HEY, HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
YOU CAN'T GO YET.
NO, NO, NO. I HAVE TO. PAIGE FOUND AN APARTMENT.
IF I LIKE IT, WE'RE GOING TO SIGN THE LEASE.
SEE YA.
I'LL COME VISIT YOU LATER, THOUGH, KIT.
GREAT.
PLEASE, SOMEBODY TELL ME
SHE AIN'T GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS?
IT'S THE BIGGEST DISASTER.
WHAT'S A DISASTER?
SHANE'S MOVING IN WITH PAIGE AND HER SON.
THEY'RE SIGNING THE LEASE TODAY.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
WHEN I SEE HER AND PAIGE TOGETHER,
I DON'T SEE SHANE ON FIRE.
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME AND JOYCE.
SAVE THAT FOR THE PODCAST.
OKAY. OKAY.
MAX, ARE WE READY?
YEAH. WE ARE ROLLING.
OH.
AHEM.
HELLO. WELCOME TO ALICE IN LESBOLAND.
IT'S A BI-WEEKLY PODCAST
FOR BISEXUAL AND SAPPHICALLY INCLINED LADIES
AND THEIR FRIENDS,
AND WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE PLANET
HERE IN WEST HOLLYWOOD.
I'M ALICE PIESZECKI,
AND MY GUEST TODAY IS PHYLLIS KROLL.
SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL AND ACCOMPLISHED
SENIOR VICE CHANCELLOR OF CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY,
AND SHE'S GOING TO TELL US TODAY ABOUT COMING OUT
IN, SHALL WE SAY, MID-LIFE.
[**]
HOW DO YOU DO?
HELENA PEABODY.
UM... I DON'T EXPECT I'LL BE HERE VERY LONG.
WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF MY MOTHER.
YOU SEE, OTHERWISE, I WOULDN'T BE HERE AT ALL.
YOU KNOW, I'M SURE THAT
AS SOON AS WE GET IN TOUCH WITH HER,
I'LL BE, LIKE--
THAT'S MY BUNK.
OH.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH.
OH, BUT, JOYCE, I HAVE A NEW LOVE.
RIGHT, YOUR LADYLOVE, JOYCE.
YEAH, SHE'S REALLY WONDERFUL.
WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.
OPERA, BALLET, THE ARTS, PHILOSOPHY,
AND THE SEX.
OH, THE SEX IS...
IS THE BEST EVER.
WELL... EVER?
THEY SAY YOUR COMING OUT AFFAIR
IS USUALLY THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE.
OH, THAT WAS KINDERGARTEN-- PRESCHOOL--
COMPARED TO WHAT JOYCE AND I ARE DOING.
THE WORK I'M DOING WITH JOYCE
IS MORE LIKE A POST-GRADUATE THESIS.
MM-HMM.
BUT LISTEN, YOU WERE--
YOU WERE SWEET.
SWEET?
A LITTLE VANILLA, A LITTLE VANILLA.
WHAT?
OUCH.
VANILLA? REALLY? VANILLA?
VANILLA SEX, UH, CONVENTIONAL SEX, UM...
WHAT THE CULTURE REGARDS AS STANDARD OR REGULAR SEX.
I KNOW VANILLA.
I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
SO HAVE YOU GUYS U-HAULED?
U-HAULED?
YEAH, WELL, IT'S A LESBIAN RITUAL.
YOU DATE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS, MAYBE,
AND THEN YOU RENT A U-HAUL AND YOU MOVE IN.
U-HAULED. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
U-HAULED...
SO, 2-G IS DEFINITELY THE BEST UNIT IN THE COMPLEX.
IT'S CLOSEST TO THE POOL.
JARED IS GOING TO BE SO EXCITED ABOUT THE SWIMMING POOL.
IT'S CUTE HERE.
WELL, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT,
AND LET YOU KNOW BY THE END OF THE DAY.
OKAY, COOL,
BUT I CAN'T HOLD IT
ANY LONGER THAN THAT.
NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I JUST--I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF
A FEW LITTLE BUSINESS THINGS.
LISA PANTOLINI SAYS TO SAY HI.
OH, LISA? REALLY.
WELL, GIVE HER MY BEST. TELL HER I SAY HI BACK.
WHO'S THAT?
SHE'S A GIRL I USED TO KNOW.
I KNOW LACEY, AS WELL.
OH, YEAH, LACEY, OF COURSE.
AND I KNOW BRANDI DELANEY.
AND MEGAN.
BRANDI DELANEY...
OH, I REMEMBER, YEAH, BRANDI.
OH, YEAH, AND MEGAN, TOO.
YOU'VE GOT A LONG HISTORY.
NO, IT'S NOT TOO LONG.
LISA COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WHEN I TOLD HER THAT
YOU WERE MOVING IN WITH SOMEONE.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN TOGETHER FOR NOW?
NOT LONG AT ALL.
FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS.
WELL, SHE STILL TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME, SHANE.
I DON'T THINK SHE EVER GOT OVER YOU.
SHE'LL BE OKAY, BUT I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT TO GO PICK UP JARED.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OKAY.
SO, COULD YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE GARAGE IS?
OF COURSE I CAN.
THANK YOU.
YEAH, IT'S JUST RIGHT OVER HERE.
YEAH?
SO, I'LL BET THE CU LGBT STUDENT UNION
IS VERY THRILLED THAT THEIR EVC IS IN THE CLUB, HUH?
HAVE YOU PAID THEM A VISIT?
NO, I'M ACTUALLY A LITTLE EMBARRASSED,
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE "T" STANDS FOR.
LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL...
TENTATIVE?
GOOD ONE.
SORRY, GUYS. I HAVE TO CHANGE THE TAPE.
"T" IS FOR TRANNIES.
TRANNIES? YEAH, LIKE MAX.
TRANSGENDERED.
OH...
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHANGED THEIR SEXES
FROM MALE TO FEMALE OR FROM FEMALE TO MALE.
THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
HAVE YOU ACTUALLY HAD THE SEX CHANGE OPERATION?
WELL, I DID GO TO SAN FRANCISCO TO GET TOP SURGERY.
TOP SURGERY?
THAT'S WHERE THEY GET THE TOP OFF.
BUT I DECIDED NOT TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.
YEAH, WHY?
BECAUSE YOU WERE SO READY TO DO IT?
I GUESS, I MEAN, I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT IT,
AND IT'S A REALLY PERSONAL DECISION,
AND THE FACT IS
THAT YOU CAN LOSE SENSATION IN YOUR NIPPLES,
SO I DECIDED I DON'T WANT TO RISK THAT.
I MEAN, FOR SOME GUYS,
THEY DON'T FEEL THEMSELVES, LIKE, FULLY MALE
UNLESS THEY CAN HAVE A MALE CONTOURED CHEST
AND BE ABLE TO TAKE THEIR SHIRTS OFF AND STUFF,
BUT FOR ME, I GUESS, IN THE END,
I DECIDED THAT I FELT ENOUGH OF A GUY AS IS, AND I--
WITHOUT THE SURGERY.
THAT IS FASCINATING.
I HAD NO IDEA THAT "TRANS"...
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE
WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE OFF TOPIC HERE FOR OURCHART.
WHY IS IT OFF-TOPIC?
WELL, I MEAN, OURCHART'S FOR LESBIANS.
I THOUGHT OURCHART WAS FOR EVERYBODY.
IT'S "OURCHART."
I MEAN, DOESN'T THAT SUGGEST IT'S INCLUSIVE?
WELL, SURE, MAX.
I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE TECHNICAL,
BUT, YEAH, IT'S FOR EVERYBODY.
ALICE.
IT'S YOUR SOLDIER GIRL.
TASHA!
HI!
HI! HOW ARE YOU?
LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
I MISS YOU ALREADY.
LOOK, I CAN'T REALLY TALK RIGHT NOW.
I JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.
SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
ARE YOU READY
TO SHIP OUT TO IRAQ?
YEAH, I'M READY.
WILLIAMS!
LOOK, I GOT TO GO.
I LOVE YOU.
YEAH, ME TOO.
SAY IT.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.
OKAY, I'LL CALL IF I CAN.
BYE.
CHRISTINA, RIGHT? IS THAT HER NAME?
YEAH. AND I'LL CALL BACK.
AND YOU DIDN'T GET A LETTER?
NO. ARE YOU SURE?
HEY, GOOD MORNING. MORNING.
DID ANYBODY GET A POSTCARD FROM JENNY?
HELL NO.
I DID.
WHERE? CHINA, I HOPE.
PLAYA DEL CARMEN.
THAT'S NOT NEARLY FAR ENOUGH AWAY.
SPEAKING OF JENNY, YOU GUYS, I'VE GOT TO GO.
I GOT A PRODUCTION MEETING FOR "LEZ GIRLS."
WITH KATE?
KATE GOT FIRED.
REALLY?
WILLIAM HALSEY HATED HER MOVIE.
WHO?
THIS HEDGE FUND BILLIONAIRE
WHO'S FINANCING OUR NEXT THREE PROJECTS.
HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
HE JUST FLEW IN ON HIS PRIVATE JET,
AND NOW AARON IS IN FULL KISS-ASS MODE.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
WELL, THAT'S THE MOVIE BUSINESS FOR YOU.
YEAH, I HATE IT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T MIND WATCHING ANGIE FOR ME
WHILE I GET EVERYTHING READY FOR JODI?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THERE'S NOTHING I LOVE BETTER
THAN JUST HANGING OUT WITH MY LITTLE NIECE.
BESIDES, I'M THE ONE RESPONSIBLE
FOR YOU NOT HAVING A MANNY.
SO, WHEN'S JODI COMING BACK?
TOMORROW NIGHT.
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM ANGUS?
I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN DO IT.
YOU KNOW, I NEED A CLEAN BREAK.
YOU KNOW, ALICE LOOKS A LITTLE UPSET OVER THERE.
FUCK.
ALICE REALLY DOES NOT NEED TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN.
EXCUSE ME.
OH, MOM, IT'S AWESOME.
WE'RE RIGHT BY THE POOL.
GREAT.
I'M GOING TO CALL SHANE AND TELL HER YOU LIKE IT,
AND THEN WE CAN SIGN THE LEASE.
I MIGHT EVEN LEARN TO COOK.
RIGHT.
AND HUGE BATHROOM AND MASTER BEDROOM.
CAN I GO SWIMMING?
AFTER WE MOVE IN.
HONEY, COME AND LOOK AT YOUR BEDROOM.
HI.
CAN I SEE MY BEDROOM NOW?
THERE'S NO POINT, HONEY.
IT'S ALREADY BEEN RENTED.
SORRY, I'M LATE.
...IT'S LIKE MY RETREAT,
WHERE I CAN FLOAT THROUGH THE OCEAN OF LIFE.
MONSIEUR...
YOU HAVE TO TELL AARON...
JENNY.
ABOUT HOW YOU CAME UP WITH THE MANATEE
WHILE WE WERE SWIMMING WITH YOUR SET OF DOLPHINS
AT XEL HA.
WILLIAM, WILLIAM, PLEASE MEET TINA KENNARD.
SHE IS THE DEVELOPMENT HEAD HERE AT SHAOLIN.
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT, ACTUALLY.
GOOD TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HI, TINA.
HI, JENNY.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
VERY TANNED.
I LOVED THAT SCENE, BY THE WAY.
WHICH ONE?
THE MANATEE SCENE.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY LOVE
IS THE SCENE AT THE PARTY.
JESSE GETS SEPARATED FROM HER BOYFRIEND
AND NINA WALKS UP AND TOTALLY HITS ON HER.
IT'S FANTASTIC.
WONDERFUL.
THANK YOU.
NINA HITS ON JESSE? IS THAT A NEW SCENE?
I REWROTE THE SCRIPT WHILE I WAS IN TULUM,
AND THAT'S WHERE I JUST RAN INTO MONSIEUR.
EVERYBODY KNOWS.
I HAVE A VERY NICE VILLA IN TULUM.
THE LOVELY JENNY WAS MY GUEST THERE.
AND WHILE THE LOVELY JENNY WAS WILLIAM'S GUEST IN TULUM,
SHE DID A FANTASTIC REWRITE ON "LEZ GIRLS,"
AND SHE DID IT ON SPEC.
WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?
I WAS...
I WAS FIRED FROM MY OWN MOVIE.
WELL, IT'S THAT KIND OF INITIATIVE
THAT IS INSPIRING.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO READ THIS.
TINA, IT'S FANTASTIC.
HOW EXCITING.
I THINK JENNY HAS A VERY SPECIAL INSIGHT,
A CERTAIN KIND OF VISION.
THAT'S THE REASON THAT SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON
WHO COULD POSSIBLY DIRECT THE PICTURE.
DIRECTING?
"LEZ GIRLS?"
[DOOR OPENS]
OH, MY GOD!
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
OH, MY GOODNESS. GIVE HIM TO ME.
LOOK WHO I WANT YOU TO MEET.
OH, LOOK!
WHAT IS...
WHAT'S THIS ON HIS HEAD?
YOU ASKED ME...
THIS IS MAUVE.
THIS IS NOT ORANGE.
I KNOW, BUT THE GROOMER RAN OUT OF ORANGE,
AND SO WE THOUGHT WE WOULD MATCH...
NO. NO, NO.
I DON'T PAY YOU TO THINK.
DO I, SOUNDER? DO I PAY HER TO THINK?
HE HATES YOU.
SO TAKE HIM BACK TO THE GROOMERS NOW
AND GET ORANGE RIBBONS SO HE CAN LIKE YOU AGAIN.
THEY DON'T HAVE--
SOME PEOPLE HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO AESTHETIC SENSE.
WHO IS THAT?
OH, THAT'S MARISSA, JENNY'S ASSISTANT.
SINCE WHEN DOES JENNY HAVE AN ASSISTANT?
I MEAN, YOU HIRED THEM TO HELP YOU.
THAT'S NOT HELP, THAT'S SABOTAGE.
WOW.
REALLY?
OH, BABY, BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY "WOW."
AFTER ALL THE FABULOUS WOMEN YOU'VE HAD?
THEY PALE IN COMPARISON.
YOU CAN COMPARE THEM IF YOU WANT TO
AT YOUR PARTY TOMORROW.
I'M NERVOUS.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN TO HUNDREDS OF PARTIES.
I WINE AND DINE BILLIONAIRES AND NOBEL LAUREATES.
THERE WILL BE A NOBEL LAUREATE
AT YOUR COMING OUT PARTY.
TO THINK THAT THERE ARE
ALL THESE WONDERFUL WOMEN OUT THERE,
AND YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL
TO GIVE ME THIS WONDERFUL PARTY.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MY PROPOSITION?
OH, THAT THE TWO OF US SHOULD U-HAUL TOGETHER?
U-HAUL?
YEAH.
WHERE DID YOU PICK THAT UP?
WELL, I'M NOT A COMPLETE NAIF, YOU KNOW.
NO, CERTAINLY NOT.
HEY.
HOW'D IT GO?
WELL, SHE WOULDN'T EVEN ANSWER THE DOOR.
YOU KNOW, SHE JUST MAYBE NEEDS SOME TIME.
FUCK IT.
I JUST DON'T WANT SHAY TO FIND OUT.
HEY. YOU LOOK NICE.
THANK YOU. HONEY...
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MISSY?
NO, IT'S BLACK.
OH, SHIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
BETTE, BETTE, BETTE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
I BEG OF YOU, WAIT HERE ONE MINUTE.
ONE MINUTE, NO LONGER. JUST ONE MINUTE.
GET OFF THE PHONE, BITCH.
BYE.
YOU LOOK LIKE A CREPE.
I MISSED YOU.
I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.
THIS IS BETTE.
BETTE, I WANT YOU TO MEET JENNY.
HELLO, BETTE.
HELLO, JENNY.
OH, COME ON, YOU FUCKERS, BE FRIENDS, PLEASE.
WE'RE NEIGHBORS.
WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE.
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT BETTE AND I WEREN'T FRIENDS.
WE'LL SEE.
OKAY?
OKAY, MARISSA.
I NEED YOU TO PICK UP MY DRY CLEANING TODAY,
AND, OH, DON'T TELL ME
THAT YOU MISSED
THE SAME-DAY-DELIVERY DROP-OFF TIME,
BECAUSE I NEED IT BACK FOR 5:00 TONIGHT,
BECAUSE MY FABULOUS DRESS IS IN THE DRY CLEANING.
UH-HUH.
OH, YES. OH, HANG ON.
NOT DONE.
I ACTUALLY NEED YOU TO--
[DOORBELL RINGS]
JUST A SECOND.
WILL NEED YOU TO PICK ME UP FOR THE PARTY THIS EVENING.
UH-HUH.
OH.
WELL, I NEVER SAID THAT THIS WAS A FIVE-DAY-A-WEEK JOB.
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE MY ASSISTANT ON SUNDAY,
THEN YOU'RE--
OH. HI. HI.
UH, THEN YOU ARE GOING TO PICK ME UP TODAY, SATURDAY.
GREAT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. BYE.
HI, TINA.
HOW ARE YOU?
I BROUGHT YOU SOME COFFEE AND CROISSANTS.
OH, I DON'T EAT THAT.
I... IT'S, LIKE, SUGAR,
AND, LIKE, CLOGGED ARTERIES.
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST--
SO, WHAT'S UP?
BECAUSE MORNINGS ARE USUALLY MY TIME TO WRITE.
WELL, ACTUALLY,
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
HERE.
I READ THE SCRIPT.
OH, GOOD.
WILLIAM LOVES IT.
THAT'S WHY HE GREENLIT IT.
IT WAS BASED ON MY REWRITE.
I KNOW. I THINK THAT'S FANTASTIC.
I'M GLAD YOU THINK THAT IT'S FANTASTIC.
I DO. I THINK... I THINK YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY.
I THINK YOU'VE REALLY PULLED IT TOGETHER.
THANKS.
AND I HAVE A FEW NOTES.
YOU HAVE SOME NOTES FOR ME?
JUST A FEW.
I THINK I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE TRANSITION
WHERE JESSE IS REPULSED
BY THE THOUGHT OF HAVING SEX WITH KARINA--
IF IT WERE UP TO YOU, I WOULDN'T BE ON THE SET.
JENNY, I WOULD HAVE NEVER BANNED YOU FROM THE SET.
NEVER, OKAY?
I MEAN, I'VE NEVER BEEN TREATED SO BADLY BEFORE.
YOU TREATED ME LIKE A PARIAH.
I NEVER MEANT TO.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET THE MOVIE MADE.
YOU WERE TRYING TO GET AHEAD BY USING MY CREATION.
JENNY...
TINA.
I HAVE TOTAL RESPECT AND ADMIRATION
FOR THE FACT THAT "LEZ GIRLS" IS YOUR CREATION,
OKAY, AND I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB,
WHICH IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW.
CAN I HAVE MY SCRIPT?
THANKS.
UM, BUT, I WILL NEVER...
TAKE ANY OF YOUR...
STICKY NOTES INTO ACCOUNT.
OKAY,
JENNY, I'M SORRY.
I AM SO SORRY
FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT DOWN,
EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED,
EVERYTHING WITH KATE, OKAY?
EVERYTHING... YOU JUST...
LOOK, WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER,
AND YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW
THAT I SINCERELY WANT TO HELP YOU
TRY TO MAKE THE BEST MOVIE THAT YOU CAN MAKE.
THAT WAS GOOD.
NO, IT WAS GOOD.
I CAN SEE THAT YOU...
IT TOOK A LOT TO DREDGE UP AN APOLOGY,
AND I CAN SEE ALL THE TIME THAT IT TOOK,
BUT I STILL DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD TAKE NOTES FROM--
STICKY NOTES, TOO--FROM YOU.
BECAUSE I'M YOUR EXECUTIVE.
EXACTLY.
YOU'RE AN EXECUTIVE,
AND I'M A WRITER,
AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT WRITING,
OR ANYTHING CREATIVE, FOR THAT MATTER,
SO...
EXCUSE ME, TINA,
BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
FINE.
OH, GOD. I CAN'T EAT THIS.
OH, GOD, YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT.
NOT THAT I WOULD.
EVER.
KILL SOMEONE.
I'M TOTALLY, TOTALLY AGAINST KILLING.
SHIT HAPPENS.
LOOK AT THAT.
CAN YOU GIVE THE TURTLE TO MOMMA B?
MOMMA B-BEE.
MOMMA BUMBLEBEE.
COME ON, SWEETIE, I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE POTTY.
I'VE GOT YOU.
TO NAPPIES?
YEAH, AND THEN TIME FOR NAPPIES.
AND THEN TIME FOR NAPPIES.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK OUT. I'M GOING TO PUT HER DOWN.
NO, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
YOU'RE GOING TO GO POTTY?
SO, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT KATE GOT FIRED?
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS BECAUSE YOU HATE THE MOVIE BUSINESS SO MUCH.
WELL, THERE'S A LOT TO HATE,
BUT I HOPE IT DIDN'T MESS ANYTHING UP
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING TO MESS UP.
I THINK SHE'S BACK IN NEW YORK.
SO, YOU AND SHE NEVER HOOKED UP?
I DON'T THINK I WANT TO ANSWER THAT.
YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU?
HMM.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SEX?
WHAT?
WELL, I MEAN, IF THE THING WITH KATE DIDN'T WORK OUT,
AND I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME...
SO, ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?
YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I'M GETTING LAID?
IS THAT OFF LIMITS, TOO?
YEAH, IT IS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T GO FOR MONTHS AT A TIME
WITHOUT HAVING SEX WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
I HAVE TO GO VISIT HELENA.
OUCH.
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP SAYING THERE'S NO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE I GO.
HI.
SHANE, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, THEY SEE YOU.
THEY DON'T SEE ME.
OH, BULLSHIT, TINA.
YOU DO NEED TO STOP HANGING OUT WITH BETTE, THOUGH.
YEAH, ESPECIALLY SINCE JODI'S COMING BACK.
JUST PLEASE DO NOT GO BACK TO MEN WHATEVER YOU DO.
LOOK, YOU GUYS, I'M INTERESTED IN WOMEN, OKAY?
IT'S JUST HARD TO FIND SOMEONE AFTER BETTE.
FORGET ABOUT BETTE.
REALLY, IT IS EASY. I DID IT.
I HAVE.
IT'S JUST THAT SHE SET THE BAR.
YOU DON'T NEED TO GO TO THE BAR.
WE CAN GO WHEREVER YOU WANT.
WE CAN EXPAND IT.
WILL YOU STILL BE HERE WHEN I...
ALL RIGHT, SUGAR.
YEAH, WE'LL BE YOUR WINGMEN,
LIKE, YOUR LITTLE, GAY WINGMEN.
HEY.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU ACTUALLY LOOK AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM MOTHER?
I'VE PUT IN A FEW CALLS.
LIKE 350.
LISTEN, WE'RE TRYING TO COME UP WITH THE BAIL.
IT'S JUST... IT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR BAIL IS SET SO HIGH.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU MURDERED CATHERINE.
I WOULD'VE MURDERED HER, GIVEN HALF THE CHANCE.
SHE'S A FLIGHT RISK.
SHE HAS NO TIES TO THE COMMUNITY.
HER FAMILY'S LOADED. IT'S...
AND YOU STOLE AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY.
I DIDN'T STEAL IT.
I WAS ENTITLED TO IT.
OKAY.
TOTALLY.
NOBODY'S DISPUTING THAT.
WELL, EXCEPT MAYBE THE D.A.
ASK HER.
HELENA...
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE MONEY?
BECAUSE I THINK IF YOU TELL THEM
WHERE YOU PUT THE MONEY,
THEY WOULD DROP THE CHARGES.
SO, ARE THEY TREATING YOU WELL IN HERE?
I MEAN, IS IT AT LEAST HUMANE?
WELL, I'M SURE THE SHEETS ARE POLYESTER.
THERE ARE NO SHEETS!
ALICE!
AND THE FOOD HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT.
MY CELLMATE IS, LIKE,
THIS MASSIVE HOMICIDAL PSYCHOPATH,
WHO PROBABLY IS GOING TO KILL ME IN MY SLEEP.
OKAY, JUST SIT TIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU OUT.
HOW? WE DON'T KNOW YET,
BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU THIS--
WE'LL COME AND VISIT YOU AS MUCH AS WE CAN.
EVERY DAY.
OKAY?
YOU HAVE TO PROMISE US
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP IT SAFE HERE.
OKAY. HOW?
HOW DO I DO THAT?
YOU LAY LOW.
NO, SHE NEEDS TO STAND UP FOR HERSELF.
SHE NEEDS TO LET EVERYBODY IN HERE KNOW SHE'S NOT AFRAID.
OH, REALLY? YEAH.
I'M SO SURE--
NO, SHE SHOULD STICK TO HERSELF
AND STAY OUT OF ALL THE DRAMA.
SHE GETS A FAMILY, AND GETS HERSELF A DADDY.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
NO, SHE SHOULDN'T. ARE YOU JOKING?
NO, SHE SHOULD STAY OUT OF THAT SHIT.
STICK TO HERSELF. THAT'S IT.
SHE'S AN ALPHA FEMALE.
SHE'S BRITISH.
OKAY, WHATEVER. SHH!
JUST DON'T DROP THE SOAP.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
DON'T DROP THE SOAP.
I WOULDN'T, NO.
TO PHYLLIS.
[NEWS REPORTER]: AMERICAN SOLDIERS
SUFFERED A DEADLY ATTACK TODAY
IN A REBEL STRIKE ON A SOUTHERN MILITARY BASE.
19 SOLDIERS WERE KILLED, AND MORE THAN...
ALL RIGHT, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO,
BUT WE'VE GOT TO RALLY TO PHYLLIS' PARTY
AND GET OURSELVES IN THE MOOD, PUMPKIN.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
LOOK, I BET SHE DIDN'T CALL,
BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO MAKE IT EASIER ON YOU.
THEY SHIPPED OUT AT 0900 O'CLOCK THIS MORNING,
AND SHE SAID SHE WOULD CALL ME BEFORE THEY SHIPPED OUT.
YEAH, BUT I'M SURE SHE HAS A GOOD REASON.
I DON'T THINK TASHA'S A FLAKE.
COME ON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
YOU GOING TO GET ME DRUNK?
YEP.
BY THE WAY,
I HEARD YOU HANDLED
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS BRILLIANTLY.
OH, SHE MANHANDLED THEM.
SO, YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT?
OH, IT WAS LEGENDARY, PHYLLIS.
YOU WERE THE TALK OF THE UP CONFERENCE.
NO WAY.
I TOLD YOU, PHYLLIS,
THE LESBIANS OF ACADEMIA ARE ALL CELEBRATING
THE ADVENT OF YOUR LANDING AMONG THEM.
WE'VE HAD YOU ON OUR RADAR
SINCE LONG BEFORE OLD JOYCIE GOT HER MITTS ALL OVER YOU.
HEY, BACK OFF.
OLD JOYCIE GOT IN THERE FIRST.
OH, BABY.
WHAT ABOUT HER?
WHAT?
ARE YOU LOOKING WHERE I'M LOOKING?
I'VE GOT TWO EYES, ALICE. I'M LOOKING, AND I SAY NO.
WHAT ABOUT HER?
NOT BETTE! WHAT?
NOT BETTE.
I'M NOT LOOKING AT BETTE.
I WAS... I'M LOOKING. YEP.
SO YOU SEE HER?
WHERE?
WELL, SHE'S KIND OF GOT, LIKE, DARK-BROWN HAIR,
KIND OF A HOT SCHOOL TEACHER.
OH, THAT ONE. SHE'S CUTE.
SHE'S A BIT...
SERIOUS?
YEAH, FLATLINING, BUT SHE'S CUTE.
SHE'S PROBABLY
A PULITZER PRIZE WINNING SCIENTIST OR SOMETHING.
OH, AND THAT'S BAD?
SO WHAT? YOU'RE SMART.
I KNOW I'M SMART.
GOOD.
I--
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER?
DO YOU KNOW HER?
I CAN JUST TELL.
I DON'T THINK SO, TINA. I DON'T KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT? SIT TIGHT.
NO. WHAT?
OKAY, SO I NEED YOU TO COME OVER
FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING,
AND WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS CREATE A RAINBOW IN MY OFFICE.
A RAINBOW?
ESSENTIALLY, I NEED
A RAINBOW-COLORED HUE OF FILES,
BECAUSE I WANT EACH ONE OF MY MAIN CHARACTERS
TO BE PART OF THE RAINBOW,
AND IT NEEDS TO BE ORGANIZED CATEGORICALLY--
OKAY, I CAN'T COME OVER TOMORROW MORNING FIRST THING,
BUT I PROMISE YOU I'LL--
WHY?
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DO?
YEAH. I'M GOING TO CHURCH.
GO IN THE AFTERNOON, SILLY.
THEY DON'T HAVE AFTERNOON SERVICE
IN THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
HEY, SUGAR. HEY.
BUT-- WAIT!
HI. HI, YOU.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
I GOT TO GO HELP TINA WITH SOMETHING.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. WHY TINA?
BE NICE.
WHO'S THAT?
MARISSA, MY ASSISTANT.
SHE'S CUTE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OKAY, SO I'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00 A.M. TOMORROW.
I WON'T BE THERE.
WHY?
BECAUSE I FUCKING QUIT.
WELL, YOU'VE...
YOU HAVE MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME, MARISSA.
HI, HOT STUFF. NICE PARTY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, SHANE?
I'M GOOD.
SHANE, MEET THE LADIES.
THIS IS CAMILLA GOLDONI, VISITING US FROM LUCCA,
AND SHE'S A RECIPIENT OF THE ROCKEFELLER GRANT.
A VERY PRESTIGIOUS AWARD.
SHE KNOWS THAT, HONEY.
THIS IS MY BUDDY, SAMANTHA.
HEY, SHANE. NICE TO MEET YOU.
MEGAN SWISHER.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
AND ANDREA JILLS.
HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
SHE'S TALKING TO HER. SHE'S TALKING TO HER.
I'M SURE YOU GET THIS ALL THE TIME,
SO THIS ISN'T REALLY ORIGINAL,
BUT YOU REALLY DO HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES.
IT'S TRUE.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES, TOO.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR STORY, SHANE?
UM...
I DON'T REALLY HAVE ONE,
BUT SEE THAT BLONDE OVER THERE?
THAT'S MY FRIEND, TINA,
AND I THINK SHE WOULD REALLY LIKE TO MEET YOU.
BUT I'M MEETING YOU RIGHT NOW.
YES, YOU ARE.
WELL, GREAT.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON.
PUMPKIN, I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS.
WHY DON'T YOU GET TO KNOW CAMI A LITTLE BETTER?
DON'T BOTHER WITH THESE TWO.
THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
HI.
CAMI. IS IT CAMILLA?
CAMILLA.
YES.
HEY, TINA, HEY, I'M SORRY.
SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
IT'S A NO-GO.
YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR.
I'M NOT LYING. IT'S WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
I HATE BEING SINGLE, YOU GUYS.
BEING SINGLE'S NOT SO BAD.
OH, TO THE LEFT.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW ONE THING.
WHY DID YOU ASK ME AND JARED
TO MOVE IN WITH YOU?
ALL RIGHT, LET'S, LET'S, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE.
NO, NO.
I JUST WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME.
ALL RIGHT, I ASKED YOU AND JARED TO MOVE IN WITH ME
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR US.
GOOD FOR US?
YOU MEAN LIKE EATING ALL YOUR GREEN VEGETABLES?
WHY DID YOU TELL JARED THAT SHAY WAS COMING BACK?
PAIGE, I NEVER ONCE--
I NEVER SAID SHAY WAS GOING TO COME BACK.
I SAID TO HIM THAT I WANTED HIM TO,
BUT I NEVER, EVER PROMISED JARED THAT.
AND THAT WE WOULD ALL JUST BE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY, HUH?
IS THAT WHAT YOU TOLD HIM?
IS THAT WHAT SHE TOLD YOU?
UH...
ME?
WE DIDN'T TALK...
A LOT.
WE'RE GOING TO GO. YEAH.
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
I KNOW IT'S WHO YOU ARE,
AND I CAN'T EXPECT YOU TO CHANGE OVERNIGHT.
I CAN ACTUALLY LIVE WITH IT.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT.
IT'S JUST SEX.
PAIGE, IT'S...
I KNOW IT'S SEX, BUT...
YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU
AND WHO ONLY LOVES YOU AND YOU ALONE.
AND YOU DON'T LOVE ME?
NO, I DO LOVE YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME.
TALK TO HER FIRST OR SOMETHING LIKE--
HELLO.
HI, JENNY.
HI, TINA.
WOW, THEY'RE SO IN LOVE.
HOW WAS YOUR CRUISE?
FINE, THANK YOU, ALICE.
HI.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME BACK. THANK YOU.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD.
HI.
JODI, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANK GOD, YOU'RE HERE!
I NEED YOUR ADVICE.
OH, GOD.
JOYCE IS OVER THERE.
SHE'S WRITING A BIG FAT CHECK FOR THIS PARTY.
YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB.
YEAH, YEAH.
HI, SWEETIE!
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. SHE CAN AFFORD IT.
SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ME AND SHE WANTS TO U-HAUL.
TOLD YA.
BUT I'VE HAD AN EPIPHANY.
I REALIZE THAT WHAT I'M DOING WITH JOYCE
IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WITH LEONARD 25 YEARS AGO.
JUST BECAUSE THE FIRST PERSON ASKS YOU TO SETTLE DOWN
DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH THEM.
I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS TO THINK ABOUT THAT, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU THINK, LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE?
YOU KNOW, LIKE...
THAT IT'S JUST NOT IN YOUR POWER
TO DECIDE WHO YOU WANT TO BE WITH,
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE-- BIRD IN THE HAND...
TWO IN THE BUSH.
ANYWAY, ALL THESE WOMEN ARE FLIRTING WITH ME.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'M HAVING A GRAND TIME.
I'M DON'T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I DON'T.
PLAY THE FIELD.
GO CRAZY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M GOING TO TELL JOYCE.
OH, SHIT. SHE'S COMING RIGHT NOW.
YEAH.
MR. WISCHNIA.
MY LADY.
IF IT ISN'T THE PILLOW PRINCESS.
YOU ARE OUR SLOPPY SECONDS, RIGHT?
YOU'RE CLEVER.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY, FOLKS, HUH?
TO PHYLLIS.
ALL RIGHT, CHEERS.
CHEERS.
YOUR LOFT.
OH.
WOW.
I'VE NEVER HAD A TABLECLOTH BEFORE.
VERY FANCY.
THE TABLE IS TOO PLAIN FOR YOU?
NO, NO.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE IT.
YES, YES. IT'S VERY NICE.
IT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU.
THANK YOU.
BUT, UM...
IT'S MY SPACE.
SO, YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
WELL, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE
I WAS, YOU KNOW, BEING A CONTROL FREAK.
IT FELT LIKE I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.
FUCK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I'M GOING TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOU.
OH, REALLY?
YES.
HEY.
THAT'S STUPID.
I CAN'T SEE YOU. HOW DO I COMMUNICATE?
HEY, SHH!
STOP.
[**]
* SO DO YOU SEE IT?
* IT'S GOING DOWN ON YOU
* SO DO YOU SEE IT?
* IT'S GOING DOWN ON YOU
EXCUSE ME, MISS?
YEAH?
IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS? YEAH, IT IS.
ANY UNHAPPY CUSTOMERS? A DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE?
NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
THE SPREAD OF THE FIRE
INDICATES MULTIPLE PATHS OF ORIGIN,
AND FROM THE COLOR OF THE SMOKE,
IT LOOKS LIKE THE ACCELERANT USED WAS GASOLINE.
WHAT DOES ALL THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS THIS WAS PROBABLY ARSON.
ANY IDEA WHO MIGHT HAVE DONE SUCH A THING?
* SO DO YOU FEEL IT?
* WHAT YOU GONNA DO?
NO. NO, I DON'T.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ENEMIES?
ANYBODY THAT'S MAYBE A LITTLE UPSET WITH YOU
FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER?
NO.
* WELL, I BEEN SEARCHING A LONG, LONG TIME *
SO, I TAKE IT YOU DON'T WANT TO FILE A REPORT?
NO, I DON'T WANT TO FILE A REPORT.
* DO YOU SEE IT YEAH YEAH *
* IT'S GOING DOWN ON YOU
* OH, NO, NO, NO IT'S GOING DOWN ON YOU *
* WELL
[NEWS REPORTER]: ...A CAR BOMB KILLED 15 IRAQI CIVILIANS
TODAY IN A BUSY MARKET IN CENTRAL BAGHDAD,
CLOSE TO A POPULAR CAFE.
[KNOCKING]
THE BOMB IN A FOUR-WHEEL-DRIVE VEHICLE
WENT OFF NEAR A GAS STATION CLOSE TO AL HARIA SQUARE
IN THE PREDOMINANTLY SHIITE DISTRICT
ON THE EASTERN SIDE OF THE TIGRIS RIVER.
THE EXPLOSION WOUNDED AT LEAST 22
AND LEFT SURROUNDING CARS...
[IN A DEEP VOICE]: WHO IS IT?
[WOMAN]: ALICE, OPEN THE DOOR.
TASHA?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HI!
ARE YOU OKAY?
YES.
ARE YOU HURT? ARE YOU IN TROUBLE?
HMM?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?
OH, MY SOLDIER'S HOME.
* SO KISS ME WHEN I'M STARVING *
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?
STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS.
WAIT-- ARE YOU AWOL?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING CRAZY?
HUH?
I MISS YOU.
YOU MISS ME?
YES.
I MISS YOU.
* WATCHING OVER ME
I MISSED YOU, TOO.
* WITHOUT SYMPATHY
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
ARE YOU?
* HOLDING ON TO ME
* WITHOUT LOVE
COME HERE.
[**]
* WATCHING OVER ME
* WITHOUT PRIVACY
* HOLDING ON TO ME
* WITHOUT LOVE
* GUARDING OVER ME...