PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...
FAMOUS BETTE.
FAMOUS?
TINA'S JUST TOLD ME A LOT ABOUT YOU.
MAYBE WE CAN DO THIS ANOTHER TIME.
I THINK YOU HAVE SOME THINGS TO FIGURE OUT.
I JUST PISSED NEXT TO THE CUTEST BOY ALIVE.
HE'S A TRANS MAN.
OH, MY GOD, I HAD NO IDEA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I BELIEVE I'M BEING INVESTIGATED
FOR HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT.
ALLEGATIONS LIKE THIS ARE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DISPROVE.
MOSTLY BECAUSE THEY END UP BEING TRUE.
I WANT YOU TO CLICK UP.
SHE JUST WANTS YOU TO JOIN A GANG.
DOES THAT MEAN THAT DUSTY IS IN A GANG?
WHO'S DUSTY?
BUT YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME.
WANT TO FILE A REPORT. NO.
GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU COW! SHE'S MINE!
YOURS!
SHANE, TELL THEM ABOUT US.
DADDY WILLDADDY FINDS OUT.ILL NOT FIND OUT.
OH, MY GOD. COME BACK HERE!
JENNY, I NEED YOUR CAR.
DRIVE, WOMAN! DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!
[ALICE]: I HAD A DREAM ABOUT JENNY'S MOVIE LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS WEIRD.
[SHANE]: WHAT WAS IT?
[ALICE]: ME, YOU, AND HELENA WERE, LIKE, CHARLIE'S ANGELS.
[SHANE]: WHO WAS CHARLIE?
ONCE UPON A TIME,
THEY WERE THREE LITTLE LESBIANS
WHO JUST HUNG OUT AT A COFFEE SHOP,
BUT I CHANGED ALL THAT,
AND NOW THEY WORK FOR ME.
MY NAME IS BEV.
GOOD MORNING, LESBIANS.
GOOD MORNING, BEV!
LADIES, I HAVE A NEW MISSION FOR YOU.
IT INVOLVES GOING UNDERCOVER.
OKAY, LESBIANS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SURE SOUNDS DANGEROUS.
ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT GOING TO RUIN OUR HAIR?
I PROMISE YOU GIRLS
I WON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOUR HAIR OR MAKEUP.
HELEN?
COUNT ME IN...
BEV.
WELL, OF COURSE WE'RE IN,
BUT ARE YOU SURE THESE GAYDAR GUNS
ARE REALLY GOING TO WORK?
WELL, THEY BETTER WORK,
BECAUSE THE TARGET'S JUST ENTERED THE ROOM.
[**]
OKAY, LESBIANS, GO GET 'ER.
COME ON, GIRLS, LET'S GET HER.
[**]
[BEEPING]
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
[**]
WOW.
DAY THREE, SHE'S STILL GOING STRONG.
AH, 'MORNING, LAZY ASSES.
FUCK OFF, YOU FREAK.
HOW'S IT GOING, SHANE?
I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE 5:30 A.M.
GOTTA SAY, IT'S GOING PRETTY WELL.
AND ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE YOU'VE SWORN OFF SEX?
YUP, AND ALL THE CRAP
THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT.
I HEAR YOU, SISTER.
HOMEY.
I HAVE DECLARED A MORATORIUM
ON SEX,
AND A MORATORIUM ON DRAMA,
AND A MORATORIUM ON JEALOUSY.
AND A MORATORIUM ON GIRLS
THROWING ROCKS THROUGH YOUR WINDOWS,
AND BURNING YOUR SHIT DOWN.
WHAT, SOMEONE THREW A ROCK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW?
YEAH, YEAH, IT WAS ONE OF THE BRIDESMAIDS FROM THE WEDDING.
I'M TELLING YOU, I'M FUCKING DONE.
A FEW DAYS AGO I DECIDED TO TAKE
A MAJOR BREAK FROM SEX,
THEREBY ELIMINATING THE MAIN CAUSE OF INSANITY
IN MY LIFE,
AND I GOT TO TELL YOU GIRLS,
I HAVE NEVER, EVER FELT
SO FREAKISHLY CLEAR-HEADED,
OR HIGHLY ENERGIZED.
SPEAKING OF FREAKISH...
HI!
LOOK AT JENNY'S NEW ASSISTANT.
WELL, YOU KIND OF HAVE TO ADMIRE HER A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S GROSS.
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT GIRL.
SO...
DENISE SEEMS NICE.
YOU KNOW, MORTGAGE BROKERS MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON.
I DON'T KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO SAY I'M NOT A SNOB, BUT--
TINA, HONEY, YOU ARE A SNOB.
I MEAN, COME ON, WE LOVE YOU, BUT YOU'RE A SNOB.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY
MORE YOUR STYLE, SOMEONE, LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW, IN THE BIZ, OR--
NO, NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH
ANYONE IN THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
TINA, PICKY, PICKY, PICKY.
REALLY. GOD...
OKAY, WE'LL FIND YOU SOMEONE IN THE ART WORLD,
OR ART ADJACENT.
WELL, THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, AM I RIGHT?
IT IS.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?
WE SHOULD GO ON OURCHART,
LOOK AT SOME MEMBER PROFILES.
TINA, DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
JESUS CHRIST.
OH, MY GOD,
I THINK I'M GOING TO VOMIT.
DAMN IT, HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE.
YOU SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE?
JODI'S INTERPRETER.
HE HIT ON ME THE OTHER DAY IN THE MEN'S ROOM.
HE'S HANDSOME.
SO?
ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO HIM?
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
IT WOULDN'T BE SUCH AN OUTLANDISH THING.
THE LAST TRANS GUY I DATED--
LOOK, I'M NOT INTO MEN.
THE LAST TRANS GUY I DATED WASN'T INTO MEN AT ALL
BEFORE HE TRANSITIONED.
SHE WAS A GOLD STAR BUTCH LESBIAN.
I'M NOT A GOLD STAR EITHER.
JULIE WAS.
UNTIL SHE BECAME JAKE.
JAKE TURNED OUT TO BE A GAY MAN.
I HEARD THIS THEORY
THAT WHAT'S GENETICALLY ENCODED IN US
ISN'T ATTRACTION TO MEN OR ATTRACTION TO WOMEN,
BUT IT'S SAME-SEX ATTRACTION.
THERE YOU GO.
ADELE, DO AWAY WITH THESE SWEATY THINGS.
THANKS.
HI.
WOW, YOU'VE GOT GREAT ABS.
NO, NO,CAN I-- DON'T-DON'T...
JUST DON'T TOUCH ME TODAY, PLEASE.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOING TO MAKE IT.
NO.
WHERE DID I PACK MY KEYS?
IN YOUR BAG, DIDN'T YOU?
I DON'T REMEMBER.
HEY, LOOK, THE PINK RIDE.
[JENNY]: OH, I'M DOING IT.
I'M IN TRAINING FOR IT.
YOU ARE?
YES.
WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL DO IT.
DO WHAT?
IT'S CALLED THE SUBARU PINK RIDE,
AND IT'S FOR BREAST CANCER RESEARCH.
I WANT TO DO IT.
I THINK IT'D BE GREAT.
WE SHOULD GET A LITTLE TEAM TOGETHER.
WE COULD BE TEAM DANA.
AW, I LOVE THAT. TEAM DANA.
YEAH, WE CAN GET KIT AND BETTE
TO DO IT WITH US.
WE SHOULD ASK JODI AS WELL.
AND JODI.
YEAH, BUT JODI DIDN'T KNOW DANA.
YEAH, BUT SHE HAS BREASTS, RIGHT?
GOOD POINT.
YOU GUYS,
YOU HAVE TO TRAIN FOR THIS.
IT'S SO HARD.
IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FINISH IT.
WHY DON'T WE GET TASHA TO TRAIN US,
'CAUSE, I MEAN, SHE KNOWS HOW TO TRAIN,
OBVIOUSLY.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID TASHA WAS GOING TO IRAQ.
I THOUGH YOU SAID THAT HER UNIT GOT DELAYED.
YEAH, NO, THEY'RE JUST DELAYED.
I GUESS THEIR EQUIPMENT DIDN'T COME IN OR SOMETHING?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT MUST HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.
READY?
LET'S GO.
* YEAH
* YEAH, YEAH
* CHECK MATE
* SEE WHAT TYPE OF GAMES YOU PLAYIN', UH *
* GOT TO MAKE MY NEXT MOVE MY BEST MOVE *
* YOU ROCK ON THE BLOCK
* TELLING EVERYBODY THAT YOUR PIMP OR NOT... *
THANK YOU, LADIES.
NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU.
* OH, NO, PLAYER AIN'T GOING YOU SEE, SO YOU BEST BELIEVE *
* THAT MY GAME IS TO BE SOLD NOT TOLD *
* TELL 'EM MOVE ON 'CAUSE YOUR RAP IS OLD... *
HOLA, CHICA.
* THERE'S NO CHICK THAT CAN ROCK THE STAGE LIKE ME *
* SO SORRY, BABY BOY NO MORE VIP *
* SEE WHAT TYPES OF GAMES YOU PLAYIN', UH *
* SEE WHAT TYPE OF GAMES YOU PLAYIN', UH *
* GOTTA MAKE MY NEXT MOVE MY BEST MOVE *
* SEE WHAT TYPE OF GAMES YOU PLAYIN', UH *
* YOU NEED TO GO YOU GOT TO LEAVE *
* NOW, COACHING THIS
* IF I WAS TO GO THERE'D BE NO CHAMPIONSHIP *
* NOT A CHICK CAN COMPARE TO A PRICK LIKE ME... *
EVERYBODY'S PAID UP.
FEELING GOOD?
VERY GOOD.
SEE YOU LATER.
OH, UM...
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO BAG ON BIG BEAR THIS WEEKEND.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
I'M-I'M REALLY SORRY.
I KNOW IT'S FUCKED UP.
I HAVE A RECEPTION FOR DAVID HOCKNEY
AT THE HAMMER ON SATURDAY.
SO?
SO, SEVERAL OF MY MAJOR DONORS ARE GOING TO BE THERE.
WHAT?
"WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 11 YEARS,
"AND THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME
I WAS EVER GOING TO BRING ANYONE."
REALLY?
FUCK DAVID HOCKNEY.
HEY.
HI!
I GOT TO RUN. OH, HI!
YOU, YOU WATCH YOURSELF.
DON'T GET TOO PERSONAL.
OH, PLEASE, ME? WHAT?
I'M SO EXCITED WE'RE DOING THIS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WHY "FUCK DAVID HOCKNEY?"
"SHE WAS TRYING TO GET OUT OF
"GOING TO BIG BEAR THIS WEEKEND
TO MEET A BUNCH OF MY OLD FRIENDS."
AND YOU DIDN'T LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT?
GOOD FOR YOU.
SHE MADE A COMMITMENT.
HEY, ALICE,
WE'RE GOING TO SET UP OVER HERE.
OKAY. SHANE AND I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU
A COUPLE OF PROFILES
OF GIRLS THAT WE THINK YOU SHOULD DATE.
NO, NO PROFILES! TINA...
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MEETING SOMEONE
ON THE INTERNET. NOTHING.
IT'S WEIRD. COME ON!
TINA, YOU GOT TO LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
IT'S LESS RANDOM THAN A BLIND DATE,
AND YOU CAN FIND OUT ALL ABOUT THE GIRL
BEFORE YOU WASTE YOUR TIME HAVING LUNCH WITH HER.
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT.
HEY, THE HAIR, START THE HAIR.
OKAY.
"THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE," JODI SAID.
DO YOU MIND IF I JOIN YOU?"
OH, MY GOD, GET OVER HERE.
OKAY, SO, I'LL FIRST LIMIT IT
TO THE, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE THAT LIVE IN L.A.,
AND THEN I WILL LOOK FOR YOUR PRETENTIOUS ART PEOPLE.
HOW CAN YOU TELL FROM PICTURES?
OH, BY THE WAY
SOMEBODY ANSWERS A QUESTION ON THEIR PROFILE.
LIKE, FAVORITE BOOK.
CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN.
IT'S GOOD, PROMISING.
NANCY DREW, NOT SO MUCH.
I LOVE NANCY DREW.
ME TOO.
REALLY?
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, NANCY DREW.
I MEAN, SHE IS A LESBIAN ICON.
THAT'S A PRETTY SLICK-LOOKING CAMERA YOU GOT THERE.
YEAH, IT'S A PANASONIC DVX 100.
IT'S AMAZING, ACTUALLY.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HOOK IT UP TO THE COMPUTER?
WE'RE RECORDING OVER FIREWIRE.
YEAH, IT MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR US
TO RECORD ONTO THE COMPUTER'S HARDDRIVE
AT THE SAME TIME AS WE'RE RECORDING ONTO THE VIDEO CAMERA.
I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING SLIGHTEST IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,
BUT IT SOUNDS AWESOME.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO HER HAIR?
I DON'T KNOW YET.
MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE CLASSY OR SASSY.
I DON'T KNOW.
WANT ME TO DO YOU?
OOH, GO BACK! GO BACK! HER.
OOH, WHAT ABOUT HER? SHE'S GOOD.
NO, KEEP BROWSING.
OW. WHAT? WHY?
SHE'S TOTALLY CUTE.
YEAH, I KNOW SHE'S CUTE.
SHE'S JUST A LITTLE CRAZY IN BED,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
[TINA AND ALICE]: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
NEXT.
ROLL.
[KNOCKS GENTLY]
COME.
I JUST GOT THIS FROM MY CO.
IT'S A CHAPTER 15 DISCHARGE.
I KNOW.
YOUR COMMAND
IS RECOMMENDING YOUR DISCHARGE
FROM THE UNITED STATES ARMY RESERVE
FOR HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T WANT MY CASE.
OH, WELL, I'VE BEEN DETAILED YOUR CASE.
IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE, SO NOW I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO HIRE A CIVILIAN ATTORNEY.
I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO REPRESENT ME.
CAN WE GO OVER
THE GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION?
FIRST ALLEGATION.
ON OR ABOUT MARCH, 2007,
YOU WERE SEEN AT THE SANTA ANITA RACETRACK
WITH A GROUP OF WOMEN WHO WERE OPENLY LESBIAN.
ONE OF THE WOMEN HAD HER ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER.
SECOND ALLEGATION.
ON OR AROUND MARCH, 2007,
YOU WERE AGAIN SEEN JUST OUTSIDE THE LOS ALAMITOS BASE
WITH THE SAME WOMAN,
HAVING WHAT APPEARED TO BE A LOVER'S QUARREL.
THAT'S PRESUMPTION.
EVEN IF I HAD BEEN SEEN,
BROWN MADE THAT CHARGE,
AND I PERSONALLY KNOW HE HAS A GRUDGE AGAINST ME.
WELL, THE FIRST ALLEGATION WAS MADE
BY YOUR PRIMARY ACCUSER,
WHOSE NAME IS NOT LISTED IN THIS DOCUMENT,
BUT THE SECOND INCIDENT,
WELL, THAT'S BACKED UP BY YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER,
MAJOR KEVIN DIXON,
WHO WAS ALSO WITNESS TO THE EVENT.
GO ON.
THERE'S ANOTHER ALLEGATION.
IT ALLEGES HERE
THAT YOU SHOWED A FEMALE SOLDIER IN YOUR UNIT,
ANITA MARTINEZ,
PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT FOR JOB RECLASSIFICATION
BECAUSE YOU WERE
ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH HER.
THAT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT.
PLEASE DON'T USE FOUL LANGUAGE IN MY OFFICE, WILLIAMS.
IT'S A FLAT-OUT LIE.
LOOK, THESE ARE THE ALLEGATIONS,
AND THEY DIDN'T COME OUT OF THE BLUE.
THERE'S SOME SOLID EVIDENCE HERE BACKING THEM UP,
AND IF IT'S NOT TRUE, THEN IT'S ON YOU TO PROVE IT.
NOW, LIKE IT OR NOT, THAT'S THE WAY THIS THING WORKS.
SO, FOR MY NEXT QUESTION.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASK THIS DELICATELY, BUT I'M--
[TOM INTERPRETING]: "DELICATELY?
WHAT, I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SEX."
YEAH, BUT I WANT TO KNOW...
WELL, SOME PEOPLE LIKE DELICATE SEX.
UGH...
[TOM INTERPRETING]: "NOT ME.
"THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN...
"TENTATIVE, TIMID LESBIAN SEX.
"I WOULD NEVER BE
"IN ONE OF THOSE
"LESBIAN BED-DEATH RELATIONSHIPS
"WHERE YOU JUST CUDDLE, AND...
"YOU KNOW, SAY GOODNIGHT AND GO TO SLEEP.
UGH...
I HAVE A TEDDY BEAR IF I WANT TO DO THAT."
YES.
I WAS WATCHING, WAS THAT "LESBIAN?"
IS THAT "LESBIAN?"
"LESBIAN?"
OH, "LESBIAN."
THAT?
THAT IS NOT SEXY.
THAT'S NOT SEXY.
THAT?
THIS IS BETTER.
MUCH SEXIER.
UM, HOW DO YOU SAY CUNNILINGUS?
I MADE ONE UP.
IS THAT "CUNNILINGUS?"
IT WOULD BE GOOD.
[TOM INTERPRETS]: PRETTY GOOD, PRETTY CLOSE,
OR I GUESS YOU COULD JUST SAY, "LICK MY PUSSY."
WELL, YOU COULD SAY THAT, COULDN'T YOU?
GOT TO REMEMBER THAT.
NO, YOU SWORE OFF SEX,
REMEMBER?
UH-HUH. UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YES, I DID. I DID.
I HAVE A QUESTION.
HOW DO YOU SAY, "FUCK?"
"WELL, YOU KNOW, "FUCK YOU," OBVIOUSLY."
NO, NOT "FUCK," "FUCK!" YOU KNOW?
"LIKE, THIS IS, YOU KNOW, TO ACTUALLY FUCK."
YOU DO THAT IF YOU WANT TO SAY, "FUCK ME, BABY."
[LAUGHTER]
WHO SAYS THAT TO WHO?
BETTE SAYS THAT TO YOU OR YOU SAY THAT TO BETTE?
OH, WELL...
BETTE SAID DON'T GET TOO PERSONAL.
OH, BETTE. BORING, BORING BETTE.
I'LL CUT IT OUT.
WE'LL CUT IT OUT.
[TOM INTERPRETS]: "LAST NIGHT, SHE SAID IT TO ME."
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU AND MY SISTER BEEN DOING.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
PRIVATE JACK BROWN'S WIFE JUST HAD A BABY,
AND HE WANTED TO BE RECLASSIFIED MOS 42A
SO HE COULD BE HOME WITH THEM,
BUT BROWN'S A LAZY SOLDIER.
HE HAD A SUB-STANDARD SCORE
IN APTITUDE AREA CL,
AND HE'S NOT QUALIFIED TO BE A HUMAN RESOURCES SPECIALIST.
SPECIALIST MARTINEZ HAD TWO COMMENDATIONS,
SCORED IN THE TOP ONE PERCENT IN THAT APTITUDE AREA,
AND IS DISCIPLINED AND HARD-WORKING,
AND I NEVER TOUCHED HER EXCEPT TO COMFORT HER
OVER BEING UPSET ABOUT HAVING TO LEAVE HER LITTLE BOY
AFTER WE LEARNED THAT OUR UNIT WAS GETTING REDEPLOYED.
WHEN YOU COMFORTED HER, DID YOU HUG HER?
IS THAT GROUNDS FOR SEPARATION?
PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SEEN
HOLDING HANDS WITH SOME GIRL AT THE RACETRACK.
I WANT TO STAY IN THE SERVICE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT
BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO BE A LESBIAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT BACK.
I'M GOING TO ASSUME YOU'RE NOT A LESBIAN,
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PROVE
IF YOU WANT TO WIN THIS THING.
LET ME CLARIFY TO YOU, BEECH,
I NEVER DECIDED TO BECOME A LESBIAN,
BUT I DECIDED TO JOIN THE SERVICE.
I GRADUATED SECOND IN MY ROTC CLASS.
I HAVE A BRONZE STAR WITH V FOR VALOR
FOR SAVING THE LIVES OF THREE AMERICAN
AND TWO IRAQI SOLDIERS
AFTER AN IED ATTACK IN TAL AFAR.
I WATCHED MY STAFF SERGEANT ROBERT GANZ
GET HIS STOMACH BLOWN OPEN AFTER A MORTAR ATTACK,
AND HELD HIM IN MY ARMS AS HE DIED...
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
WAS NOT A ROMANTIC EMBRACE EITHER.
I BELIEVE IN AMERICAN DEMOCRACY,
AND I'M WILLING TO RISK MY LIFE FOR MY COUNTRY.
DO YOU REALLY THINK I DON'T BELONG IN THIS ARMY?
ALL RIGHT...
HERE'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR, WILLIAMS.
I'M HOPING THAT GIRL IN THE PARKING LOT
TURNS OUT TO BE YOUR FIRST COUSIN,
AND THAT THE TWO OF YOU
WERE HAVING A HEATED ARGUMENT
ABOUT WHETHER TO PUT YOUR OLD GRANDMA
IN THE NURSING HOME.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED HERE, RIGHT?
OH, LOOK AT THAT, SHE'S FROM SLOVAKIA.
SCROLL DOWN A BIT.
HEY, ALICE, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
OH, NO, NOT RIGHT NOW, SORRY.
I MADE A PODCAST.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU MADE A PODCAST?
YEAH, AND I WAS HOPING YOU COULD TAKE A LOOK AT IT--
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
WE CAN--AYBE I GOT TO GET THIS.
HEY, HOW'D IT GO?
OH.
[**]
STOP WORKING.
[SIGHS]
SORRY.
SO...
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHO'S GOING TO BE THERE?
YEAH.
I KNOW THERE'S FRANK, AND...
WHAT'S HIS WIFE'S NAME?
SAMMIE.
SAMMIE, SAMMIE...
OH, AND WHAT ABOUT, UM...
MICHELANGELO.
MICHELANGELO, MY GOD, HOW COULD I FORGET THAT?
SO, TELL ME ABOUT HIM.
[TIRES SCREECH]
HE'S A CURATOR.
OH, HE'S A CURATOR?
DON'T MAKE ME OUT TO BE SUCH A SNOB.
OH, YOU'RE A SNOB.
NO, I'M NOT.
OH, YES.
I'M NERVOUS.
OH, GOD...
OKAY.
BOTH HANDS.
HEY...
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
FUCK.
GOD, THOSE FUCKERS.
BEECH GOT DETAILED TO BE MY DEFENSE.
THE HOMOPHOBIC PRICK?
YEAH, HE DOESN'T WANT IT.
HE HAS TO TAKE IT, HE HAS NO CHOICE.
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
WELL, I DON'T SEE MY NAME HERE.
BELIEVE ME, ALICE, THEY KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
OH, RIGHT, 'CAUSE THEY'RE THE MILITARY.
WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW
WHO THEY'RE DEALING WITH.
I MEAN--
ALICE...
THAT LAST ONE IS FALSE, BY THE WAY,
THE ONE ABOUT MARTINEZ.
YEAH, I KNOW THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT,
WE'LL FIGHT IT.
I MEAN, WE'RE NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN TO THAT.
WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO TO WIN THIS THING?
I HAVE TO LIE.
ISN'T THAT AGAINST YOUR MILITARY CODE OF HONOR?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
DO YOU NEED ME TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE?
DO YOU NEED ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE?
NO.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.
BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT.
I KNOW IT'S LATE IN THE GAME, BUT I CAN DO THAT.
I CAN BE REALLY ON THE D.L., YOU KNOW.
LIKE, JUST BE REALLY DISCREET,
AND, LIKE, A NON-EXISTENT GIRLFRIEND.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW I CAN DO THAT.
I'M SORRY.
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE STOPPED TO EAT.
OKAY, SO...
THERE'S HUAHINE, RAIATEA,
BORA BORA, AND MAUPITI.
THE SOCIETY ISLANDS.
OKAY, WHERE...
TAHA'A?
TAHAA.
FLOWER-SHAPED ISLAND.
SMELLS OF VANILLA.
AND YOU HAVE A PLACE THERE?
TINY LITTLE PIECE OF PARADISE.
BELONGED TO MY GRANDFATHER.
IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE--
YOU WILL.
YOU'LL GET OUT.
PEABODY, YOU GOT A VISITOR.
IT'S 10:00 AT NIGHT.
I GUESS SOMEBODY'S PULLING SOME STRINGS.
YOU GOT FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES.
BE RIGHT BACK.
YEAH, RIGHT.
HEY...
TAKE THIS.
[INMATES WHOOP AND JEER]
OOH, LET ME EAT YOUR PUSSY.
WERE I RECEPTIVE TO SUCH A PROPOSITION,
IT WOULD FIRST REQUIRE A FULL BOOTY CHECK,
AND WERE YOU TO PASS MUSTER,
BABY, I'D GIVE IT TO YOU FAMILY STYLE.
OW!
[INMATES CHEER]
DON'T WORRY, DARLING, MUMMY'S HERE.
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN ON A TREASURE HUNT.
IT WAS MAD.
WE ENDED UP EXHAUSTED
ON SOME NAMELESS LITTLE GREEK ISLAND.
I KNOW, I NEVER GO ON THESE THINGS,
BUT IN THIS CASE,
THE WINNER GOT TO WALK AWAY
WITH THIS MAGNIFICENT FRAGMENT
OF A PRAXITELES FOOT.
QUITE GENUINE, I'M SURE.
SO BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL.
SO PRICELESS.
SO ILLEGAL.
SORT OF LIKE YOU, DARLING--
MUMMY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME FOR THIS.
REALLY?
WELL, SEEMS TO ME YOU'VE GOT GREAT GOBS OF TIME,
HELENA.
YES, LET'S NOT BOTHER
WITH THE SMALL TALK.
SHALL WE JUST FINALLY SAY THAT YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON?
OH, I'VE LEARNED A PHENOMENAL AMOUNT, MUMMY.
I'VE LEARNED THAT I CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF--
OH, YES, WONDERFUL, SWEETHEART.
NOW, WHIT IS ON HIS WAY TO POST YOUR BAIL.
CHARMING.
AND HE'S BRINGING YOU
A FRESH CHANGE OF CLOTHING.
YOU HAVEN'T LOST MUCH WEIGHT, HAVE YOU--
I'M FINE, ACTUALLY, MUMMY,
AND WHAT I DON'T WANT IS FOR--
AND WHAT WE'RE LOOKING INTO IS GETTING YOUR RECORD EXPUNGED.
THAT WILL COST A PRETTY PENNY, BUT I THINK IT'S TIME TO--
NO, MUMMY, I DON'T WANT THAT.
NO? NO, MUMMY, I DON'T WANT WHAT?
WHAT?
WOULD YOU TRY TO SPEAK LIKE A SEMI-LITERATE PERSON,
PLEASE, HELENA?
I KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING
RATHER SORDID COMPANY LATELY.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING VERY FINE COMPANY, MUMMY,
AND WHAT I DON'T WANT
IS FOR YOU TO COME SWANNING IN HERE,
THROWING YOUR MONEY ABOUT.
I KNOW I MADE A MISTAKE.
I'M QUITE HAPPY TO FINISH MY TIME
AND PAY MY DEBT TO SOCIETY.
HELENA, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU'RE A PEABODY.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?
PEABODIES DON'T HAVE DEBTS, DARLING,
NOT TO ANYONE,
AND CERTAINLY NOT TO SOCIETY.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, BONES.
ROBBIE, WHERE'S THE JAM?
IN THE FRIDGE, BABE, BEHIND ALL THE BEER.
OKAY, EVERYONE, IT'S OUR FAVORITE TRADITION.
MORNING MOJITOS. BRING IT ON.
[LAUGHING]
FINALLY!
[ALL CHEERING]
THE ARTIST HAS ARRIVED.
[LAUGHING]
EVERYONE, THIS IS--
THE BEAUTIFUL BETTE!
[LAUGHING]
NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT'S A MORNING MOJITO.
OH.
IT'S A BIG BEAR LAKE TRADITION.
YOU HAVE TO DRINK IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S A LITTLE BIT EARLY FOR ME,
BUT THANKS.
OH, COME ON, BETTE.
DON'T BE SUCH A WUSS.
IT'S GOOD TO PUT A FACE
TO THOSE GRUNTS AND GROANS.
LAST NIGHT...
YOU GIRLS GOT IN LATE, BUT, UM...
I GUESS YOU WEREN'T TOO TIRED, HUH?
OH, MAN, SOUNDED GOOD.
OH, FUCK.
DID EVERYONE HEAR US?
I LEFT SOMETHING IN THE ROOM.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
I THINK WE OFFENDED HER.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
SHE'LL BE FINE, RIGHT?
YEAH, SHE'LL BE FINE.
TO US.
CHEERS.
SO LAST NIGHT,
I FINALLY FILLED OUT THE INSURANCE PAPERWORK
TO CLAIM FOR THE FIRE.
I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S BEEN SITTING ON MY DESK FOR THREE WEEKS UNTOUCHED.
LAST NIGHT, I DO IT START TO FINISH.
GOOD FOR YOU, SHANE.
AND THEN I WENT IN MY CLOSET
GOT RID OF ALL MY OLD CONVERSE,
ALL THOSE LOW-ASS JEANS THAT YOU ALWAYS SEE ME IN.
I STARTED PRIORITIZING MY LIFE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW, LIKE, SETTING GOALS FOR MYSELF.
LIKE, UM... LIKE I WANT TO SEE SHAY EVERY THREE WEEKS,
AND I WANT TO QUIT SMOKING, FOR SURE.
I'M TELLING YOU, TINA,
THIS CELIBACY THING IS LIKE A MASTER CLEANSE TO MY BODY.
YOU GOT TO TRY IT.
YOU KNOW, SHANE,
I'VE GONE LONG PERIODS WITHOUT SEX.
IT DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME SALUBRIOUS EFFECT ON ME.
SALUBRIOUS?
YEAH, SALUBRIOUS.
I LIKE IT.
SALUBRIOUS...
THAT'S THE OTHER THING I'VE BEEN DOING.
TRYING TO EXPAND MY VOCABULARY.
NOW, I GO INTO THE DICTIONARY,
I TRY TO MEMORIZE 10 WORDS A DAY.
IT ACTUALLY WORKS.
SO ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR ON YOUR DATE?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR ON A DATE WITH A HEART DOCTOR?
[**]
SHANE...
* YOU'RE FAKE...
HEY!
* THERE'S NO MISTAKE...
[LAUGHING]
OH!
BETTE, BETTE!
BETTE!
COME ON, WE NEED A WIDE RECEIVER.
COME ON!
NO, THANK YOU!
COME ON!
AAH...
MICHELANGELO BUILT THE SISTINE CHAPEL,
YOU KNOW.
ACTUALLY, I THINK HE JUST PAINTED THE CEILING.
THE HOUSE?
WE CALL IT THE SISTINE CHAPEL.
BUILT IT WITH HIS BARE HANDS.
BUT THE LOG CABIN IN WYOMING,
THAT'S WHERE HE SPENDS MOST OF THE YEAR.
YOU'RE IN VIOLATION, BY THE WAY.
WE DON'T ALLOW WORK HERE AT THE SISTINE CHAPEL.
WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST...
HAVE TO GET AN INFRACTION,
OR WHATEVER THE PUNISHMENT IS.
[LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]
OH!
BETTE... ALL RIGHT.
BETTE...
WE NEED TO RECRUIT YOU ONTO OUR TEAM.
UM, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO PLAY.
YEAH.
IT'S THE LAKE OR THE GAME.
[LAUGHS INDULGENTLY]
UH, I'D LIKE TO STAY HERE, THANK YOU.
DON'T MAKE ME DO IT.
LAKE OR THE GAME.
REALLY, THE BOOK.
OKAY, NO PROBLEM. COME ON.
HEY!
[SCREAMS]
HEY, YOU ASSHOLE!
WHOO-HOO!
NO...
WHOO!
[LAUGHING]
[QUIET TYPING]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAK SOFTLY]
[WHISPERING]: HOW'S IT GOING?
I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE DO THIS.
SHH!HEY, JENNY!
[DOOR CLOSES]
[WHISPERING]: SHE'S MEDITATING.
[WHISPERING]: HERE'S THE PODCAST.
I HAVEN'T SHOWN IT TO ALICE YET,
BUT I'D JUST REALLY LIKE YOUR OPINION.
FUCK IT.
OKAY...
[CLEARS THROAT]
I CAN'T.
I HAVE TO GO TO A SCREENING.
BUT YOU SAID YOU'D LOOK AT IT.
BUT I'M LATE, SO I'M GOING TO GO,
BUT I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD.
BYE.
OOH...
SORRY.
I'M GOING TO GO THAT WAY.
BYE!
SORRY, JUST FORGOT MY KEYS.
FUCK IT! I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T, I CAN'T...
I CAN'T DO THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I MADE THIS PODCAST, AND I...
AH...
I HAVEN'T SHOWN IT TO ALICE YET.
AND I JUST REALLY...
I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY'S OPINION.
WELL, I CAN...
I CAN TELL YOU MY OPINION, IF YOU WANT IT.
REALLY?
DO YOU WANT MY OPINION?
SURE.
WELL, GREAT, I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 5:00.
I HAVEN'T DEALT WITH ANY DRAMA OR BULLSHIT,
SO, WHAT DO I DO?
YOU, UH...
PLAY?
YEAH, RIGHT THERE.
[QUIET CHOPPING]
HEY, BETTE, WHY DON'T YOU START THE ROUX?
I-I DON'T HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA
HOW TO MAKE A ROUX.
UM, HAVE A GLASS OF WINE,
HELP ME SET THE TABLE.
SO, UH, BETTE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HELP RESTORE SOME EQUANIMITY
IN THIS FUCKING RIDICULOUS OVERPRICED ART MARKET?
UH, WHAT AM I DOING?
WELL, YOU'RE A BIG MOVER AND A SHAKER, AREN'T YOU?
YOU COULD BE DOING SOMETHING.
UH, ACTUALLY I'M THE DEAN OF A UNIVERSITY ART DEPARTMENT.
OKAY, BUT YOU'RE A BIG COLLECTOR, RIGHT?
SO LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT THE SHOW THAT I CURATED LAST MONTH
AT THE JACKSON HOLE ART CENTER.
I MEAN, 'CAUSE THERE WERE
AT LEAST 10 PAINTINGS THAT WERE EVERY BIT AS GOOD
AS THE ERIC FISCHL
THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR COLLECTION.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE
SHE'S GOT AN ERIC FISHER?
[LAUGHING]: IT'S FISCHL, BONES.
ERIC FISCHL,
AND I BET YOU THAT SHE HAS ONE.
I DOUBT THERE WERE 10 PAINTINGS IN A LOCAL ART SHOW
THAT WERE EVEN COMPARABLE TO MY FISCHL.
[LAUGHS]
HEY, M, BE NICE.
I AM, I AM, I AM.
HOW CAN YOU DOUBT IT?
IT'S JUST THAT IT'S REALLY UNLIKELY
THAT THERE ARE 10 TRULY GREAT PAINTINGS
IN A COMMUNITY SHOW.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU EVEN LOOKED AT ART
OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK
OR L.A.?
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN A COMMUNITY ART SHOW
IN A REALLY LONG TIME,
AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
SOME OF THE PIECES THAT YOU'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT.
REALLY?
AWESOME! LISTEN, UH...
I, UH, BROUGHT SOME PICTURES,
AND I COULD BRING THEM DOWN,
SAY, AFTER DINNER?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
YEAH!
YOU ROCK MY WORLD.
[KISSING SOUNDS]
SHE'S THE BEST.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE A COLLECTOR.
IT DIDN'T SAY THAT ON YOUR PROFILE.
I JUST STARTED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.
I'M SURE IT DOESN'T COMPARE
TO YOUR EX'S COLLECTION.
OH...
NO, NO, IT'S...
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. I'M SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TALKED ABOUT MY EX SO MUCH AT DINNER.
IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE...
IT WAS A BIG RELATIONSHIP FOR YOU.
IT'S NORMAL TO TALK ABOUT IT.
WOULD YOU LIKE A GLASS OF WINE?
YEAH.
YEAH, OKAY.
WE'LL TAKE THAT MONEY.
* 11:32 P.M.
* AND YOU'RE ON MY MIND
* LIKE A BLOOD STAIN ON SATIN SHEETS *
* YOU CAN'T WIPE IT AWAY WITH TURPENTINE *
* OH...
YOU HAVE REALLY GREAT TITS.
[GIGGLING]
* I FEEL BREATHLESS, HOPELESS AND UNSURE *
* COLD FEET, FULL BELLY
* DOES IT REALLY FEEL GOOD FEEL GOOD TO BE HOME *
* 'CAUSE I'M WISHING AWAY BABY... *
WOW...
AUGMENTED.
YOU WENT FOR IT.
DO YOU LIKE THEM?
UM...
* LOS ANGELES...
PUT YOUR FACE IN THEM.
* TRIPPING OVER COBBLESTONES
* EXHALE THE SMOKE THAT ONCE FILLED UP MY LUNGS *
* SIGH FEELING RELIEVED
* I DRINK THE WATER FOR MY SKIN'S PERFECTION *
* WHOA, WHOA, YEAH
* BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A REAL DRINK TODAY... *
SPREAD YOUR LEGS OPEN.
DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I TALK DIRTY?
YEAH.
* LOS ANGELES...
* I'M WISHING AWAY, BABY
* LOS ANGELES...
[SHOUTING AND CHEERING]
WHOO-HOO!
[LAUGHING]
HEY, WE NEED TO GO.
I'M SORRY, BUT
MY SISTER WAS ROBBED AT GUNPOINT LAST NIGHT.
IS SHE OKAY?
SHE'S FREAKED,
BUT I REALLY WANT TO GET BACK BEFORE SHE STARTS DRINKING.
OH, THE GIRL HAD A FUCKING GUN
POINTED AT HER, LET HER HAVE A DRINK.
UH, MY SISTER IS AN ALCOHOLIC,
SO THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE THE WORST THING I COULD DO.
OH.
I PACKED YOUR SUITCASE,
SO WE'RE READY TO GO.
UH, IF YOU WANT TO STAY,
I'LL DRIVE YOU BACK.
THAT'S FINE,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
I'LL GO HOME WITH YOU.
UH...
YOU WERE JUST MAKING THAT UP BACK THERE, WEREN'T YOU,
BECAUSE YOU WERE HAVING SUCH A LOUSY TIME?
UH, YEAH, I JUST MADE UP
THAT MY SISTER GOT ROBBED AT GUNPOINT
TO GET OUT OF BOWLING?
WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO GIVE UP
THE OPPORTUNITY TO WEAR SMELLY USED SHOES,
DRINK WARM DOMESTIC BEER, AND KICK YOUR ASS?
[LAUGHS]
WAIT UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HEY...
I'LL SEE YOU.
YEAH.
[LAUGHING]
OH...
THEY TOOK MY WHOLE WEEK.
OH, SWEETIE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY.
I'M JUST SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T HURT YOU.
[SNIFFLING]
I'M JUST GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT ROOM
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
OKAY.
I'LL LET YOU GO TO SLEEP.
SHE'LL BE OKAY.
[**]
* I CAN BE FACED WITH TROUBLES *
* JUST AS LONG AS I LIVE
* IF I HAD ALL THE LOVE YOU COULD GIVE... *
THEY'RE TAKING MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE
AWAY FROM ME.
* TRY BUT THEY WON'T FAZE ME... *
[TASHA]: HEY, KIT, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
OH, NO, THANKS, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I JUST GOT TO KEEP BUSY.
YOU'RE HERE! HEY!
SHE'S FREE!
[APPLAUSE]
HI!
WELCOME HOME.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANKS. I'M SO GLAD YOU ALL CAME.
I JUST WANT TO SAY, YOU KNOW, GOODBYE
BEFORE I LEAVE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WAIT, WAIT, ISN'T THERE GOING TO BE A TRIAL?
ACTUALLY,
OUR FAMILY DOESN'T GO ON TRIAL.
WE GENERALLY GO TO EUROPE.
ARE YOU LEAVING THE COUNTRY
BEFORE THE TRIAL?
WE'VE GOT BRENDAN ABBOTT.
HE'S THE BEST CRIMINAL ATTORNEY
IN CALIFORNIA.
HE'S GOING TO GET THIS RECORD EXPUNGED.
UNTIL THEN,
WE WILL BE RECOVERING FROM OUR IGNOMINY
IN A COUNTRY
WITH A VERY HEALTHY NON-EXTRADITION TREATY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LEAVING.
WELL, I ONLY WISH I COULD SAY
IT WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT
HELENA HAD LEARNED HER LESSON,
BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT ANY FUTURE REHABILITATION...
WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT?
...OF HELENA'S CHARACTER
WILL BE IMPOSED UNDER A MORE RIGOROUS PROGRAM
THAN THE LOS ANGELES LESBIAN LIFESTYLE CAN PROVIDE.
AT LEAST PARIS WHEN SHE WAS IN THE CLINK
DIDN'T GET INVOLVED WITH SOME BIG BUTCH PRISON DADDY DYKE.
YOU HAVE REALLY OUTSTRIPPED YOURSELF THIS TIME, MY GIRL.
I SUPPOSE YOU ALL HAVE HEARD ABOUT
THIS DUSTY PERSON?
DUSTY? GIRL, GOOD FOR YOU.
IT WASN'T FOR PROTECTION.
TURNS OUT SHE'S ONE OF THE MOST ENLIGHTENED,
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN THAT I'VE EVER KNOWN--
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, HELENA,
JUST GIVE US A BREAK.
OUR FLIGHT'S IN AN HOUR.
CAN I HAVE AN ADULT BEVERAGE?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PARTY.
HOW ABOUT SOME GIN AND ANGOSTURA BITTERS?
GOT IT COMING.
I'M GOING TO THE LOO.
HEY, HELENA, HELENA, HEY...
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I-I CAN'T...
WELL...
ARE WE EVER GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN?
I DON'T KNOW.
I HOPE SO.
WELL, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.
THANKS.
YOU'VE BEEN A REALLY GOOD FRIEND.
HOW YOU HOLDING UP?
NOT GOOD.
CAN I?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
[SIGHS]
I'M LEAVING, SHANE.
I KNOW. YOUR MOM TOLD US.
NO.
NOT WITH HER.
LOOK, CAN YOU COVER FOR ME?
SAY I'M IN THE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING?
YEAH, I CAN COVER FOR YOU, BUT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I, UM...
I HID THE MONEY.
I'M GOING TO GET MY FRIEND OUT OF PRISON,
AND WE'RE GOING TO GO SOMEWHERE.
[LAUGHS IN SHOCK]
OH, MY GOD.
NOW, YOU...
KEEP IT.
I'M SPEECHLESS.
DON'T TELL ANYONE.
NO, NO, I'M NOT...
I SWEAR TO YOU. I WILL NOT SAY A THING.
YOU GOT BALLS. WOW.
COME HERE, GIVE ME A HUG.
WOW...
SHANE, I...
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
THAT...
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
UM... I'M SORRY.
LISTEN, HELENA, LISTEN, REALLY QUICKLY.
I'M ON A CLEANSE, AND I HATE IT,
AND I JUST, AND...
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
FUCK, I'M REALLY EMBARRASSED.
HELENA, I'M SORRY.
IT-IT'S... I'VE GOT TO GO, THOUGH.
I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND, GO.
GO, GO, GO.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
* DON'T WALK AWAY
* DON'T WALK AWAY NOW
* DON'T WALK AWAY
* JUST STAY RIGHT HERE WITH ME
* DON'T WALK AWAY
* DON'T WALK AWAY TONIGHT
* DON'T WALK AWAY
* JUST STAY RIGHT HERE WITH ME
[**]